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Sounds like I'm saying shit shit shit...
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And welcome to another very spooky slasher episode of Fried Rice Podcast!
Seventeen Nights of Halloween!
I am your host who was brutally attacked as a child and I've waited all these years to
come back and get revenge on you the audience.
I'm Andy Rice and with me as always are my very special guests.
We have Austin.
He is the final girl.
He drove three hours away from a killer chase.
He's going to be here the entire time.
Check me out on rotten.com.
Oh rotten.com that's a gross one.
They have usernames you can sign up for rotten.com like log in.
I don't know.
I think it's gone now.
I know but Jesus.
They have a rotten.com account.
With me as always it's Michael.
He was raised from the dead and then I shot him again and then raised from the dead and
I lit him on fire and then raised from the dead and he's well he's just here for the
podcast I guess.
Larson.
Hey everybody.
With me as always it's Brennan.
He's shipply up to Boston.
Brings the joints we get lost in.
He's definitely not Austin.
He's Brennan shipply.
Hello.
Fuck it who cares.
Welcome everybody to another exciting special.
We're releasing these every night if you've noticed.
Halloween special.
We're going to review some slasher movies.
What makes a slasher movie you might ask.
Well the internet's a little divided on that but I think typically the rule is there's
got to be a body count.
There has to be it's not just.
That's I mean the main thing I saw is like it has to have a body count and well rules
we were kind of going for was to keep this kind of separate from torture porn or from
any other things.
I was in my mind I was thinking like teen slashers but I know there are other ones.
I'm very curious what you guys took as the word slasher movie and ran with.
This is the one I've been I think most excited to see what everyone shows.
So I'm actually going to go first this time because mine is in a way a parody so there's
not really.
Halloween movies.
No I decided not to do that every Halloween movie and I also did the book.
You didn't even know there was a book.
It's based on the I did the history of Halloween Halloween diaries.
So I did a movie or the movie I watched is called the final girls 2015 and this is actually
OK it's an interesting movie the premise of it is there is a very famous.
Think of it like Jason.
So like Friday the 13th movie that came out back in the day called Camp Bloodbath.
It was very popular.
Everyone really liked it.
It's got a cult following every Halloween people you know like they go and they watch
in the movie theaters right.
One of the actresses who's in that one of the blonde camp counselors because it's like
a camp you know one of those kind of things.
One of the camp counselors is now 20 years later.
She now has a kid teenage daughter young you know like a young daughter or older teenage
daughter and they're they bond or whatever they love each other there you know they have
a good relationship and then the mom dies.
I think it's a car accident.
I forgot actually.
Is it a car accident.
Yeah.
It's a car accident right in the right in the beginning.
Mom dies cuts three years later.
The daughter has to live with the fact that her mom's dead.
It's very sad.
One of her her best friend his her brother has he's he's a big fan of Camp Bloodbath
and when he found out that his sister's best friend is the daughter of one of the actresses
he wants her to show up to his film festival where they're going to be playing Camp Bloodbath
at the theater.
So that's where it all kind of takes place.
So just think about that so you have like that's kind of the basic premise right.
Mike you know distracting me with all your shuffling around.
I need you to just you're right in my line of sight.
I need you to just focus on me.
So so so she dies the mom dies and then it cuts to oh they call themselves the super
camp bloodbath they call themselves bath ameticians fans of the of the movie which I think is
kind of stupid but I like it.
So anyway they get to the theater and the most ridiculous series of events you've ever
seen happen lead to a theater fire where it's two guys drinking alcohol in the back of the
theater.
They're like hey man whatever they do and they put the bottle down and then kick the
bottle on accident and it starts rolling down the theater just splashing alcohol underneath
it as it's going right.
I'm like okay I could buy that that may be enough alcohol splash perfectly in a line
of puddled up whatever but then some dudes smoking a joint in the theater no one say
anything he just sparks up a joint and when he ashes it you see the ash fall onto the
alcohol and it lights up the whole fucking theater lights up the curtain.
And so while everyone's running around and again the movie's playing the main girl she
and her friends she runs up to the screen she's like is there an exit in the back the
guy goes yeah there should be.
She takes like a machete that one of the guy cosplaying as the killer was holding he drops
in the panic she picks it up she slashes her way into the screen and when they walk in
they all appear they wake up in the movie.
So in Camp Bloodbath it's the beginning of the movie and what's and it's I love how they
do this because it's like them standing there they're going what's going on and it shows
the opening scene where the camp counselors are coming in on their in their van and they
stop and they go hey do you guys know where the camp is they go they just stare at her
and she go okay and they drive off and then it go then the movie cuts 92 minutes later
and they're all just kind of like what's going they're still freaking out and the van comes
around again and ask them like you know where the camp is it's like we don't know and then
they drive off and then it cuts another 92 minutes later and the van comes around again
and that's when they realize oh shit it's just running the movie the full 92 minute
run time is what's happening so we need to just go with this movie and when they get
to the van the third time that's when the girl they're all sort of getting used to the
situation she realizes that her mom is in the back seat or at least the character that
her mom played so she's able to reconnect with her mom so this movie is a it's not a
scary movie by any means it's not a moment you're ever scared because it's it's like
the the scares get pulled away because it's more of like a her and her mom connecting
movie with the backdrop of these people inside a movie with the fourth wall breaking aspect
of like they can control the movie at one point because at some point they do a flashback
where it just all the sudden shit changes around them and it's black and white and they
have to step over the credits that physically appear where it says like summer 1960 whatever
and they hear narration playing and they're like what the fuck is that you know like and
they see how the birth of the killer is made it's these bullies bully this kid and he ends
up they it's kind of funny because the way he the way that he gets sparked into becoming
the killer is he's taking a shit in an outhouse and the bullies come up and they throw fire
crackers into it which would suck like that's shitty and they all fuck off and then it cuts
to him as he's a teenager just puts a mask on walks in and he just starts fucking killing
everybody as they're sleeping in their in their bunk so I'm like that's pretty cool
and then the flashback ends so they use this later on like when they start fighting the
bad guy it's very funny because they know how this movie works right they they set up
a bunch of traps and they Brandon was here he saw this but they set up a bunch of traps
and they know that the only way that the killer only kills you after you fuck or after you
get promiscuous or whatever so there's one girl the entire movie that just wants to strip
because that's like that's her her whole like thing as a character is she just wants to
get naked so the whole time she's like just fun and upbeat and they're like no you have
to keep your clothes they keep putting clothes on her to keep more clothes on her because
she just keeps taking clothes off and they're like no please stop like you have to just
wait and then so so then when they're ready for the killer they put her he opened up the
front door have hers and they just let her do her thing and then she just starts dancing
and she's taking her clothes off and she sees the killer and she's freaking out but she
still shows the titties and he just starts walking up and that's when they attack him
whatever but and then they start using the the the whole they can go to flashback at
any point they start manipulating the way that like the time like the movie's working
which was crazy and then it all it all ends with with her like Wizard of Oz-ing out of
it all you know like waking up in a hospital bed and going like yo none of you are dead
that's cool because all of her friends died in it along with all the camp counselors but
it was pretty great yeah I that was emotional stripping yeah she was pretty emotional when
she was like crying because she like knew like she knew like yeah she knew what was
coming but she still couldn't like help herself but yeah that's I think it's a very funny
it's a funny parody it's not even I don't know if parody is the right word because it's
like a twist it's it's more of like a like scream was it was a straight parody but done
in a way that it became its own iconic horror franchise because of how well it's done how
good it is right I even think Halloween must have started out somewhat parody-esque because
he literally put the killer in a in a William Shatner mask painted white with some hair
on top and just had him stand around it's like there had to be some part of John Carpenter
he's like this is silly right like no one's gonna fucking like this is gonna be a people
gonna laugh at this shit but whatever I liked it so I give the final I give it a I don't
think about a rating I give it honestly four out of five unnecessary flashbacks who wants
to go next so it was hard for me to like narrow down a slasher movie like I said so I googled
obscure slasher movies and I found one with a few names that popped out and it was Greg
Nicotero who does the makeup for like walking dead and a bunch of other stuff and Bruce
Campbell and Sam Raimi are in this and it sounded like a solid slasher movie and it
turned out being one and it was intruder 1989 oh this is a slasher in a grocery store and
it like starts out all these kids they work at the grocery store it's closing up the main
girl Jennifer is working the cashier her old boyfriend shows up and he's all like trying
to get her back and she's like no and then she says that'll be a dollar thirty five for
that pack of cigarettes I was like god damn and she gets they all get into a brawl he
ends up punching her in the fucking face and they throw him outside is this Bruce Campbell
is the boyfriend no no no so here's the thing is that they say Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi
they have about three minutes of screen time in the entire movie they just threw their
name on it because they know it would get eyes on it did Raimi direct no he's just character
wow so it's Bruce Campbell so yeah there's this brawl they throw the guy outside he sneaks
back in and is leaving weird notes around the store while she's like cleaning up like
oh do anything get back and she goes and calls the police right after she calls the police
he shows up again and he's like you never gave me back my change my sixty five cents
for those that one dollar thirty five cent pack of cigarettes and then he tries to force
a kiss on her oh and then they throw him out again and so they go back to closing up you
find out that the two guys that own the store one guy's an asshole one guy's good and the
good guys like we're selling the store you guys so the end of the month you won't have
a job anymore we'll recommend you whatever I don't want this the store is my life but
he's selling he owns fifty one percent I only own forty so then everyone's just going about
their their closing shift there's like you know the butcher the deli the stock guy the
all the different jobs the main guys are in the office filling out the paperwork to sell
the store the cops show up and they're just fucking bumbling idiots I cannot explain bumbling
idiot cops more like it's almost it's almost like a gag like how bad these fucking cops
are they're like well if it comes if the old boyfriend comes back just let us know we'll
be here here's my card he's like oh wait that's not my card handsome the same card it was
just upside down that really happened yeah so they're just actual bumbling fucking morons
totally fucking dumb idiots and so the first kill you don't you never see the slasher till
the end you don't know who it is and so the guy who's selling the store his head gets
grabbed you know those things people stab tickets yeah yeah he grabs him stabs it through
his fucking eye and that's the first kill can I interject for just a moment in butterfly
effect the movie that we all absolutely fucking love he in order to demonstrate to his yeah
I wrote that down and he's gonna bring up butterfly yeah did you that's every week in
my head I wrote yeah but in butterfly effect he's he gets imprisoned Ashton Kutcher's character
he gets imprisoned in prison and he's he's about to get like fucked up by a lot of people
and he's in there with like I don't know if it's Danny Trejo or if it's like some other
like but it's like a known it's an unknown I think it's an unknown like like gangster
guy he sees the tattoo on his back he's like oh you believe in Jesus I'll show you that
I have powers reads a notebook goes back in time when he was in school as I hate teacher
and he stabs both his hands on the ticket stabber that we're just bringing up so he
looks like he has holes in his hands and their scars and he's like oh shit you are Jesus
bull so here's the thing here's what here's my issue with that scene is I don't think
that his version of time travel works that way I don't think that he would the wounds
would physically appear in front of the guy I think that when he turned him and said see
look the guy would be like yeah you've always had fucking scars on your hand man since I've
known you yeah it's a plothole like yeah it's a pretty bad plot hole but it's a parallel
universe so it's okay it makes sense yeah wait what's a parallel universe it's not
that's direct that's actually the only version of time travel I believe in is butterfly effect
time travel well no I was listening to an old episode you just threw everything at Mike
it's parallel universe Mike oh no so in that parallel universe that's how time travel works
use my own anyways my words against me okay we just got to the first kill already went
on a tangent you can use plenty more that's the first kill the I stabbed through the thing
the next one there's a there's a guy working in the back and he's listening to his walkman
I think that's Sam Raimi his brother's in it too Sam Raimi's brother's also in it yeah
I can't really tell what Sam Raimi looks like in it but uh he's like doing so he has his
walkman on guy comes up with a cleaver chops him on the top of the head with the thing
and his walkman like falls to two pieces I like that that's nice there's a guy having
a couple dingoes in the beer cooler dingoes dingoes when you when you chug a beer in the
beer cooler that's at least when we went to work is the only way we got through without
burning the store down as we go into the beer cooler drink a beer and throw it away just
chug a beer yeah there was this guy D Bob he couldn't even go in the beer cooler anymore
because he chugged so many beers there's he went behind the store across the street and
there's like an old tree planter with no tree in it and he's like one day he just comes
to me I'm like hey brah you want to go have a dingo I'm like yeah we're going to the beer
cooler now we're going somewhere else brah and he takes me over here and he's like this
planter is just filled with beer but like it's just filled like it was a trash can at
a kid rock concert oh my god and he's like this this is why I come to find peace brah
he just shotguns a beer right in front of me so this guy's happy he's like yeah my dingoes
brah they're my dingoes that's fun shout out to D Bob but uh shout out D Bob yeah he's
he's having beers in the cooler and then someone stabs him with a big ass knife threw him into
beers which is like also I didn't know they made beers like this Mike you might have some
insight it was I didn't they made Kroger beer back in the day essentially it just very generic
and just said beer well okay that's my favorite my favorite quote from Brennan is you know
you're an alcoholic when your beer that you buy just says beer on it oh yeah I clip that
I love that yeah that's my favorite highlight of that I specifically remember my uncle beer
beer you don't get really close to any of these characters there's one guy who's like
a stoner and he talks like this all the time and a lot of the camera angles when they're
like having conversations are like weird and like kind of goofy like at an angle almost
like battlefield earth but times 10 is like the cameras tilted like sideways it's like
upside down all these weird camera angles there's a quote in there where one guy's like
pissed off he's like the stoner guy's like what man anal itch got you down anal itch
got you down no I've got a problem with you know they have the box crushing machines yeah
so the stoner guy's like hey man who's making noise back there man like it's not fucking
funny it sounds like a dumb ass but then the guy grabs him and this guy's like so mild
and mellow throughout throughout like his all his scenes and as soon as he gets grabbed
and put into the box crusher machine he's like oh you just injected fucking liquid cocaine
into his eyeball and it's really good effects showing the big steel thing crushing this
guy's school half of his school so his mouth is like like really brutal oh yeah so then
there's a guy in the butcher freezer and he goes up to this guy just picks him up and
just hangs him up through in his chin on a hook and that kills him so that's gnarly oh
and also throughout this movie two different times like during like between scenes like
kind of to show you the environment there's a magazine and it has sting on it the wrestler
the face just going like ah and it's cut to that magazine two different times in this
movie I wrote it down both the director must have been a fan of sting the wrestler wcw
fan over here there's another guy in the butcher or the deli grabs him puts him on the on the
table saw and puts it sideways through his head so that's another brutal death he's killed
pretty much almost everyone in the store except for Jennifer turns out oh yeah and then she
starts finding body starts realizing what's going on oh like she's not she doesn't know
about it at this point she's been wiping down a cash register the entire movie up to this
point a lot of people have died I mean you some dude got box crushed screaming I mean
it's a big grocery store in the back kind of sealed off so you're not really hearing
anything it's still one of the owners went out back and like saw the boyfriend out back
trying to figure out a way and he gets knocked out by the boyfriend with the hammer and then
the girl goes to check she gets stabbed yeah so Jennifer our main character she finds the
guy at the bottom of this trash chute and he's cut in half and there's a sign the slasher
found a sign that says half off and sticks it on him that's good half off and then we
discover who the real killer is yeah and it's not the boyfriend because Jennifer sees everything
that's going on she's running away she sees all these all these people she knows dead
she goes to the front door which is made of glass still can't get out and then the boyfriend
comes up to her and is like like grabs her and then he gets knocked out she runs away
turns out it's the other store owner that's like hey guys you know I love this place this
place is my life and then that speech turns into I'll do anything to keep this store and
his name is Bob it was the 49% yeah the 49% guy Robert Pilar ski I love this store so
much I would die for this store I would also kill for this store you know how many Germans
I killed for the store I've killed I back in World War two and so there's a there's
a really funny scene where she's going through the cereal aisle and he breaks through a bunch
of boxes on the top shelf to grab her and try to kill her and I'm like haha serial killer
I get it now that's good right when you said cereal I was the first word that came with
serial killer also it cuts to a small part where she's running around and she sees the
other owner who is not dead he's just crawling around on the ground with an eyeball gone
because he got stabbed in the eye he's like help me help me at some point I have a traumatic
enough injury I'm like just about to kill him one of the people so Bob Bob beheaded
someone and he's fighting the boyfriend with the severed head and beating the boyfriend
knocking him out again with a severed head there's like okay so then they get outside
the boyfriend they're like there's like a fight around the car she goes to get into
her Jeep and her friends in it dead with a knife in her chest and then from underneath
her he grabs her from under the car drags her under the car her hands are up so you
know that she grabbed the knife from her friend and as soon as he pulls her out to kill her
she stabs him in the chest and then the boyfriend grabs him no he falls down she goes to try
to call the cops again she calls the cops tells him the address he gets into the the
phone booth the boyfriend suppose like hits him hatcheting the fuck out of him through
this phone booth and kicks the phone booth over he like slips there's like a weird knife
scene where the night he slips on a knife and the knife like banana peel it does some
weird Roger Ravish it goes into him oh my god that's insane the the cops show up and
they arrest the guy and the girl the main characters and they think he's dead but he's
been hatcheted he's been stabbed and he get killed by a magic flying knife but yeah he's
still awake and he's like they killed everybody and Bruce Campbell is the cop that's arresting
them oh shit and then they're they're screaming like no it was him and then it just cuts to
him like I got you motherfuckers so the slasher wins in this and then the movie's over wow
it's like my motivations were about the store but now I just want to be vindictive against
you so he gets a store so yeah I guess he got the store or he died who knows and those
both of them went to jail but there was a really good point of trying to sell it that
it was the boyfriend because you think it's the boyfriend throughout most of the movie
and it's just cheesy old horror slasher movie so you think okay yeah probably is the boyfriend
and they have like a whole back story like yeah he got into a fight and he accidentally
killed the guy he went to jail for six months and now he's back and also the weird rape
he buys he punched her in the face like all this shit that would point to me him not being
the killer that's a little bit too much of a in your face kind of you know what I mean
like him punching her in the face unless they like I don't know actually that sounds pretty
good I want you back what do you rate it?
No I think this is just a one-off they like blatantly admit that yeah we put Bruce Campbell
and Sam Raimi as characters in this even though they share a total of three minutes of screen
time. Greg Nicotero though that was that was another cool addition to it oh shit walking
dead yeah a bunch of other unknowns but yeah this is like a this is like the most boiled
down to a slasher as you can get you know body count no one knows who it is big reveal
at the end except a little bit of a twist the twist was twisty yeah two twists technically
because you know you think it's the boyfriend it's actually the store owner and then also
you think they're gonna get away he just fucks them over at the end talk of shit and yeah
very a lot of good props a lot of good death scenes very good kills all unique all how
do you kill someone in grocery store and they also filmed it in a real grocery store that
they rented out after closed. I wonder which one it is I wonder if you can still go there
and recreate some of the like pictures or whatever. Let's just hope it's a pig. Yeah
that pig lots. So yeah I give it a B which is a 4.5 Kroger beers. Nice beers. Michael
Larson. Okay well my movie I'm not a huge slasher fan but I found something that looked
kind of fun I went and it's very similar to yours Andy and that it's more of a comedy
than a slasher film however it is a slasher film I watched a movie that came out the height
of the pandemic in 2020 so I don't think it did very well at the box office but I think
it's done pretty well on streaming I watched Freaky. Freaky Freaky and what it is oh yeah
it's like a Freaky Friday and Friday the 13th had a baby yeah I saw that baby was raised
John Hughes on a steady diet of Tarantino films. I could see you clicking through movies
and be like this one this Freaky that's got a half tits in it. Well it does not it's a
teen slasher without any body swap comedy with a lot of blood and gore in it but mostly
the first like 20 minutes of the movie you're just wanting the slasher part you could probably
stop at the first half hour and then you go through the movie with all the exposition
of the body swap stuff and then at the end there's a little bit more slasher stuff but
Vince Vaughn plays a serial killer who switches bodies with his high school while flower who's
Katherine Newton who I had not known before this but she was amazing. Vaughn acts like
a bull in a Chinese shop obviously like you'd expect Vince Vaughn playing a girl a teenage
girl and she like gets psycho like like really psycho she does a really good job. Sort of
like a more honest attempt at the hot chick yeah that one with Rob Schneider yeah except
for not dressed up like that it's not it's not Rob Schneider he changes with a chick
I've not seen it commercial see the showman wig and stuff so I don't know Rob Schneider
no Rob Schneider doesn't dress up in a wig he it's it's Freaky Friday they switch bodies
so he wakes up as a hot high school chick she wakes up as a as a just a gross middle
aged man it's not it's kind of like that only there's a dagger involved and all kinds of
magic and yeah that's the difference is yeah he might be a criminal but he's not like a
killer I mean the plot's not that great it's kind of just Freaky Friday but we're there
for the kills right and they deliver they do deliver on the kill we get a toilet seat
death we get a death by a couple of the others oh a table saw there's a wine bottle the wine
bottle scene is by the way one of the best I've seen as far as he takes the wine bottle
puts it in the guy's mouth hits the top of it breaks it's very graphic but it's not
but the film's not scary it somehow managed to be graphic and funny it's not going to
win awards for originality but it's solid maybe sometimes all you need at the movies
is some creative kills and Vince Vaughn is trying to walk around in high heels I don't
know I don't want to wake up as a tick tock teenager I can't imagine when they show the
perspectives is it I forget is it when we look at when you see Vince Vaughn on the screen
is he the girl and you see it from like what he is thinking in his head or do you see the
girl inside Vince Vaughn's body as Vince Vaughn's walking around so what when you physically
see Vince Vaughn on screen yeah is it him or her it's him it's him acting as her but
or no that's what I'm asking is it her acting his body it's her in his body she's in his
body because they could go the other way where when it shows them no they don't only see
you'd only see it in the mirror as them who's who they are you know what I'm talking about
that old trope just like them he's playing a female the whole time she's playing him
the whole time so more like Jumanji yes more like Jumanji the new Jumanji movies as opposed
to Quantum Leap right yeah that's not that's the difference I'm trying to think right Quantum
Leap you would see the main character the whole time goes into a mirror he's that person
okay this is this understood it's been a while since I've seen it yeah all right acting like
her yeah her Jumanji welcome to the jungle and I don't know how listen this girl pulls
off the most insane like her eyes her her it's one of the best acting jobs I've ever
seen from her it's it's you see when she's going to kill somebody you believe her she
does not look like some little girl doing it she looks like she's possessed and which
is I guess kind of what it is and she's possessed a couple of really funny lines in this movie
I think you know coming out during court coronavirus I think this would have been a 50 or 60 million
dollar movie it only did 15 was in the high it was like may of 2020 so it's like right
yeah shut down but like there's this gay character who's funny as hell Josh he looks at the black
character goes you're black I'm gay we're so dead it's just like it's like straight
up wall breaking stuff in there or you know he's just great we're gonna get killed by
murder Barbie it's like that kind of stuff throughout the whole a lot of great one-liners
it's it's actually a very good movie I don't know if I'd call it a great slasher movie
it's actually a good comedy with slasher elements or a good slasher with comedy elements it's
yeah I kind of felt the same with mine is like it's a good mother bonding mother daughter
bonding movie yeah it's very similar to your premise of such except mine plays with the
actual they're in a movie they know they're in a movie sort of trope yours is the is the
more less fourth wall break less fourth wall breaking although a lot of trope break you
can see the tropes on purpose put it more of a scream parody like now scream did it
like in the sense that it's an honest attempt at a at a popular thing yes I'd say more
like scream it's funny and it's it's parody but it's also but it's also parodying both
genres which is what's weird it's not just parodying and freaky Friday and and yeah it's
parodying both of them equal the body switch trope with the slasher it's just a good all
around movie that you feel like although there's some violence and a lot of blood but it's
not terrifying it's not you know my 13 year old watchman with it watched it with me it
was fine it wasn't because they know the difference in real and fake so I gave it three and a
half blood soaked pom-poms which it's good it's not great I'd watch it again if it came
on I would just happen to be nothing on but it's not so that's why I'm not waiting sure
it's you brought up the it's so the fact that this is like a yes so it's the freaky Friday
as a slasher the other movie I was going to pick but I just didn't have time because I
wanted to watch both was something similar it's Groundhog's Day but as a slasher it's
called Happy Death Day and there's a sequel called Happy Death Day to you and they are
both phenomenal the Groundhog Day trope the repeating the same day over and over again
it works perfectly because she the main character just gets killed every single day differently
she tries to get away from it all the time she just keeps getting killed so it's like
it's I love it there's a supernatural episode with that too I like that one that's cool
that's cool the sequel what I what what makes Happy Death Day stand apart is and I'm gonna
this will kind of spoilery so sorry if you haven't seen these movies but you watch the
first one and she just ends up like you know figuring out the how to how to stop it from
happening and she kind of like moves on with her life the sequel though gives us a reason
like an actual reason why she was repeating the day so Groundhog's Day you get no resolution
that's like God intervened that's you have to take that as as there has to be a higher
power being like you're gonna repeat a day until you learn to be a better person right
that's Groundhog's Day Palm Springs they do they explain that there's just mystical
cave if you go into this but then she ends up figuring out like quantum physics and stuff
but with Happy Death Day yeah they they straight up give you a an answer which I really love
and then it happens again which makes it fun yeah there was the HBO series of some others
there's been a lot of things that take two genres and mix them up well I was like this
is available on free so Peacock's free but with free cock yeah they call it free cock
well they don't but I do free cock is so good Brandon what did you pick okay I picked
slather the fridge oh it's called there 1983 sleep away a little louder oh 1983 sleep away
camp just keep it at your mouth okay keep it right right yeah right up right up right
into the look at the actual physical difference I know you're giving me shit right now but
look at the real physical difference I see it I see it so it opens with like a father
and two kids out on a boat on a lake at the spot where the summer camp is you see that
the summer camp is for sale and you know they're they're boating and kind of like they kind
of messing around and staring over the side and the kids kind of get behind the dad and
somehow scare the dad he ends up tipping the boat it's like a canoe they end up tipping
it over and they're all in the water and then you see these young kids riding their boat
one of them's bat on the back jet skiing and like the the guy's driving and the girls like
come on let me drive like I really want to drive and he's like all right fine let's her
drive and they're both just looking behind them watching the person ski not paying attention
to where they're going and then turn around at the last second they're like oh my gosh
turn the boat and run them over run over the dad and the kids in the water then they jump
forward eight years you don't really know what happened you just you see a floating
life vest with no kid in it so you assume some people die like you see the dad's arm
floating so you know something happened to the dad but eight years later you get this
strange very eccentric 1950s talking like barbiturate swallowing mom who's talking to
these kids about going to summer camp she's got a beret on and she's you know it's kind
of how it felt and you know basically like talking to them about getting ready for camp
like we got to do all this stuff and she's like oh I forgot something and she's like
wait oh I forgot you can't go to camp without your physicals she's like just don't tell
people how you got them because I'm your doctor like she was just weird like how she just
stated all that like I'm your doctor so I'm I sign these don't let anybody know so jump
forward they're going to camp and it's you think it's a brother sister you're not really
kind of sure as you kind of end up finding out it's a cousin the girl was the lone survivor
of the boat accident and then the boy is her cousin who basically is living with them and
the girl doesn't speak because she's obviously traumatized from childhood trauma still yeah
and so they get to the camp and as they're like coming in the camp you got the kind of
adults at the camp and one of them was like a like the chef they called him and he was
like some 50 year old dude checking out all these kids as they're coming in camp and like
has the creepiest line I've ever heard look at all the young fresh chickens where I'm
from we call them baldies makes your mouth water yeah I was like I hope he dies first
that's worse than the Matthew McGonaghey line yeah yeah that's worse than Anthony burning
you in the group chat yesterday yeah that was just a funny line I don't know the Mojave
comedy for your chat yeah he Anthony made a joke about and he getting molested at camp
or something yeah I was like he's got his knot tying badge and nothing else yeah I liked
that a lot um I don't know what the joke was though what did he why did he say that oh
young it was young smashed rice is you can buy young smashed right gun smashed rice is
that what it was pounded young rice young rice you can buy pounded young rice and he's
like that's what it that's what your camp counselor told you when you were a kid I said
that was one of my when I was learning to masturbate what the news were called it was
pounded young rice but that's what you have baldies little oh it was gross I hope this
guy dies first yes so let's get forward a couple days the girl her name is Angela she
still won't talk or anything she's not they're at lunch and she's not eating and like one
of the counselors you know one of the male counselors like oh I guess I'll take her to
the kitchen maybe she could meet with the chef and find something she likes so she gets
left alone with the creepy chef and he's like let's go to the walk-in you never know what
you're gonna find there takes her to the walk-in by himself luckily the cousin heard that like
she went to the kitchen so he goes to check on her and walks in on them and like it's
like what are you doing and stops it and he's got gets in his face you didn't see nothing
and like they run out of there so thankfully he ends up being the first to kind he he actually
doesn't die he's he's got like a giant creep yeah so well he's got like a giant pot of
water that he's boiling for corn and like he ends up being in the kitchen by himself
and you see like a point of view from the killer's perspective like kind of like sneaking
up on him and he's like standing on a chair like looking over the pot like adding salt
to the pot and as he's adding salt to the pot the you see a hand grab the chair from
under him and start pulling it he's like stop fucking around like he's like don't do that
like help me and then like they pull the chair out pulling the boiling water on himself and
just getting severely scolded burn and then they next scene he's wrapped fully wrapped
up and they're like carrying him off to the hospital but he's like severely burned so
I mean that's probably better than him dying like then he gets to suffer with that yeah
I mean yeah that's that's pretty good that's a pretty good suffering I mean but burn victims
they heal and recover so I mean like his skin was like bubbled and blistering off you can
still live a normal life at some point he's gonna look like Deadpool but yeah he looks
like creepy is yeah he looks very creepy for sure so after after that it was just all over
the place kind of then they go back to like then you kind of have like normal like camp
stuff going on and like the cousin is like playing baseball with these boys and like
they kind of end up fighting and like they beat him in baseball and then they kind of
fight a little bit and these guys kind of pick on his cousin Angela and then next scene
you kind of they end up one of them ends up dying one of them goes to take a shit and
someone locks him in the bathroom and drops a beehive in there with him so he gets stung
by bees and that's how he dies oh yeah yeah and like and like they don't really show a
lot of the gore and grid of the death they just kind of show like the aftermath of it
and it's kind of it's campy for sure but it's definitely strange then you see another boy
that Angela so it's all leading to either believe either Angela or her cousin or the
killer you're not really sure at this point but he bullies her tries to get her to go
skinny dipping with all the other guys and she doesn't she just kind of sits there quietly
not responding yet and not really talking and then like he's like well fuck you then
bitch and like leaves and they all go swimming and then like he's swimming with another girl
that they invited and he does he basically does some joke and like tips the boat over
and like oh the water snakes are gonna get you and she like swims off and he's kind of
goes under the upside down canoe and is like messing around in the canoe and then you see
like the backside of someone like swim up under and like head pop up and they're like
oh what are you doing here and then drown so the killer drowned him just drown the guy
yeah exactly it's it's kind of that's kind of how this movie was like it was just some
underwater stabbings are nice you're gonna have someone there and they're gonna be underwater
just you know spear fish them the like then it kind of started to pick up a little bit
basically like Angela ends up kind of like meeting at one of the guys that's kind of
nice to her and she ends up talking and like having conversations with this guy and kind
of like flirting with this guy and stuff and then one of the other girls that like doesn't
like Angela comes over and it's like why are you talking to her like she's small you know
like and just kind of like trying to take the guy away and he's like go away and so
they kind of Angela and the boy run off and like they kind of like go and start making
out and kissing and stuff and then you get like a really random flashback to like what
like Angela's having when she was a kid and it's her and her brother standing in a hallway
pointing and laughing at her I don't know if it was her two dads or her dad and his
lover like laying in bed like stroking each other's hair and they're just kind of pointing
and laughing just like giggling and it's kind of like okay and then it goes back and she's
like get off me and like runs away you're kind of just like I don't really know what's
going on like you know why why they would have that flashback that's a weird one it
was very weird here's your gay dad yeah it's kind of like there was really no expanding
on it like throughout the movie so it was just kind of just thrown in there and like
why were these kids in the hallway watching and just laughing like that's all then like
these kids are kind of slowly getting killed off throughout the camp and like the camp
owners kind of getting suspicious and he's like you know goes to the the cousin it's
like oh it was you I saw you these kids are bullying your cousin so you're killing them
and like one of the other counselors like dude let him go like what are you doing and
like the kid runs off and jump forward a little bit one of the counselors is basically like
setting up a date with the owner because like she has the night off and she goes to take
a shower and one of the other like bunks that's like empty because there's a long line for
the girls shower in their bunk so she goes to shower in this dark bunk by herself then
you get you see kind of a silhouette of someone see titties no no no titties I don't know
why but I just did a slow pan with my head and look directly at Mike when I said that
because I just wanted to know you brought it up one time Mike and that was all we needed
yeah Mike is Mike Michael basically titties so while she's showering she's like her backs
up against the wall like her backs up against the wall and like killer walks in with a knife
and just kind of stabs her through the back through the wall and just kind of slowly comes
down and like all you really see is her up against the wall and then a shot from outside
the wall with like the knife through the wall just going down with blood and it's that's
it yeah it was okay that was probably one of the better shots yeah and then you know
she falls down and obviously dies and then the next scene you get one of the other girls
that bullied Angela who's in a room like making out with a boy while all the other people
are off doing everything and the boy like that's when like the owner kind of comes in
and like it's like hey have you seen I forgot what the camp counselors were supposed to
meet up and yeah she went in the other room take a shower or whatever like an hour and
so he's like okay and he leaves and then he goes and that's when he discovers the body
and so now he's out looking for the cousin he's like I knew I should have killed him
when I had the chance and he goes and looks for the cousin while he's doing that the guy
and the girl that were in the other cabin kind of like the guy's like I'm gonna go
like he's gonna come back like I don't want to get in trouble you know because he was
hiding under the bed when the guy came in so he leaves and then she's there by herself
just like reading a book and then you get like curling her hair reading a book and then
you get the door open the room's dark she's like who's that like what are you doing here
don't just whatever don't turn on the light and so the person comes in and like basically
walks up to her and then she's like oh it's you what do you want and then she just punches
whoever the killer is punches him in the face she goes down and then you kind of get like
a zoomed out silhouette view you see him grab the curling iron and open it and then close
it and then basically looks like goes towards the crotch and you don't really like basically
just kind of hear it and then dead and then hidden under the bed that's a that's a real
like allison mac from from smallville way to kill your victim is by branding their pussy
on the way over there with your fucking curling iron it was pretty intense um jeez louise
yeah so at this point like people kind of know that like the counselors know that kids
are dying like something's going on with this camp like we got to get everybody together
and get out of here and kind of get to the climax of the movie the owner finds the cousin
he like grabs him and starts choking him he's like you killed her like and he just kind
of starts beating the shit out of him and then he like hears something in the distance
and he like after like he thought he'd beat him to death gets up and kind of like walks
off and he's kind of like what's going on like you know and he ends up on an archery
range of all places and he looks over and he's like no it's you it can't be you and
then arrows and a lot of that this yeah yeah so that today there's been a lot of this uh
it's you and it's just the camera then in fact austin's movie it's you and it gets punched
in the face and you just had a moment where it's like it's you it gets punched in the
face yeah i mean i felt like when when they described theirs theirs were a little bit
more graphic than mine this one's kind of more it would lead up to it and it would tease
you with it and then not really show you anything part of that's the year what year was yours
uh 83 83 2000 so it's a little bit and it's blumhouse mine was blumhouse which is all
the good stuff yeah this whole time i was thinking yours was modern because it sounded
like again like a parody of kind of like a parody of but this is like real movie yeah
this is real this is really what it is the other this is what this is really bad b horror
movie i love it yeah um and so you know all the stuff's happening like after the owner
died then like uh that's kind of when people start you know looking for like they're going
off looking for the camp the campers that are missing uh they find the cousin on the
ground uh his name was ricky they find him on the ground and uh they're like oh is he
dead and like he kind of coughs and like he's not dead you know they get him you're so fine
and they get him and take him take him away and so now they're looking for uh the girl
angela who was who told the guy earlier than i meet me here at this time and so like you
get a scene of her meeting with the guy like i didn't think you'd come like let's go swimming
and she's like what about her clothes and take them off and all right and like they
start undressing and then kind of get like a flashback of angela as a kid after the accident
when she first arrived at her cousin and aunt's house and her aunt's crazy and she's like
well this is great we already have you know we have a girl now we needed a girl like after
having a boy and my husband left i couldn't have another you know couldn't have another
kid you know and it wouldn't be right if it was a girl or a boy so it's a girl like it's
good you're a girl like and your name is angela and it kind of like hands out and you find
out that angela is actually a boy whose aunt forced forced her to become a her when she
adopted her and so that's kind of what caused the trauma and kind of everything that's going
on so then you kind of get two of the counselors come up and they see angela and the guy and
it looks like they're just kind of like laying down and they're naked just laying on the
back side of them uh just and she's kind of just caressing his hair and then as they get
closer uh his head falls off and she stands up covered in blood and the last shot you
get is her naked covered in blood facing them with the knife screaming naked with peeps so
you're like all right angela's a boy and that was friends so that was the twist did angela
have boobs also or was she no it was just yeah just they dressed her like a girl and gave her
the name angela was like did you think angela was pretty before you found out she was a dude
well i don't know i was trying to figure it out like she was yes the actor the actor actress
that played her was a female that's what i was i was starting to say did they freaky friday it
or did they yeah i don't know what they did in the end scene like because does it show a dick yeah
no titties but we you see a penis like a like a naked penis yeah yeah they gotta stop i just
i just had to movies i just did a slow pan to austin they gotta stop exploding men in
horror movies it's disgusting yeah not just you know well i did it because there's dicks on screen
apparently this movie i'm not getting the reference i'm i just did a slow pan to mike every time we
mentioned titties so i might as well do a slow pan to the guy that loves it when a dick's on screen
and that's when i looked at you i've never seen a single frame of game of thrones
oh spartacus or that had a lot of i don't like old-timey medieval i don't i'm not into it
we'll watch it oh i couldn't even i can't even watch peaky blinders really how about
braveheart well listen we don't have time for attention uh yes i don't know if it's this picture
of jackie jan fighting sharks you know the one from months ago yeah police story still here you
know the police story four we did a whole a whole breakdown series on yeah uh but i just realized
deep blue sea is a slasher movie yeah i was actually uh deep blue sea uh terminator um
terminator 2 robo cop no robo cop no that was back to the penis thing
oh sorry mike i didn't mean i didn't i didn't know you wanted to get back to the dick so bad
did you and your man things uh i missed titties this conversation made me miss man thing let's
talk more about man things this podcast made me miss titties so uh i think that this movie
was 1983 you said yeah i think and i'm going on four sequels it's what four sequels how many
bloody dicks do you give it i wonder how many uh two out of five traumatized killers got it i
i have so many questions do the rest of the killers in the rest of the movies are they also
trans or or whatever it is that i don't know i didn't i didn't look that much into it after
he gave it a two out of five he probably didn't go back let's watch the rest of the series no
no secondly i don't know if is it trans if you were raised that way against your will
and then still identify as it because then you're not really born trans in that situation like most
trans people would be born i think you're you're you're you're turned into it you're converted
into it um you gotta you gotta turn and ask you know jordan peterson what he thinks about that you
know they're they're changing the genders of their children and just not right it's all facts and
feelings you know i came out about that and and they're trying to take my license maybe that's
what's happened to the republicans they all watch this movie and it's their whole their whole
worldview is based on this movie have you ever seen sleepaway camp you see what happens when
you do that i'll cry when i think about the men in sleepaway camp mine's way better up until the
end shot this movie got a one out of five that twist gave it that extra the extra bump i think
that this movie since 1983 i think they were trying to as shitty as this is double down on scares i
think they were like here's some scary shit that you can watch people getting killed here's a
flashback of two men kissing remember that uh and then and then it's like here's a dick so they
literally were like here's something you don't understand people at home 1983 uh so i think it
was really they're just maybe trying to like way ahead of their time and their time or whatever
take that folk moralists we'll see who cancels who yeah that's uh that's a pretty good joke
thank you i tried really hard on it with everything that i'm going through so two out of five
traumatized children killers well ladies and gentlemen like what was the name of your movie
my movie was uh freaky freaky so we had freaky we had camp sleepaway sleepaway camp we had the
final girls and we had grocery store final freaky intruders at sleepaway camp that's the name of
the episode final freaky intruders at sleepaway camp love it uh this has been our slasher
episode of fried rice podcast join us tomorrow for another halloween themed one uh because we're
doing this all month so join us then uh i've been well with me as always is austin uh his body count
it would take me three hours to read off all the names because he's that notorious of a murderer
mr farrow thank you thank you very much with me as always is michael uh his kill count is uh he's
like the golden state killer he's like that that like old unassuming man living next door you'll
never see it coming but he's killed more people than you could possibly ever imagine larsen you
don't want to know my real oh jesus with us as always it's brendan
shipply up to boston have a good night everybody and i have been your host andy rice this has been
one of our spooky 17 nights of halloweed thank you so much for joining us we've been fried we've been
rice we've been podcast have a good night
so
you