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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

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And welcome!

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Nothing's as nice as fried rice!

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Podcast that is!

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Mu ha ha!

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Now time to get high or die!

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Because it's 17 nights of Halloween!

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I'm the Andy Keeper.

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Rice.

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That's stupid.

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And with us as always is Austin Farrell.

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Uh, check me out on, well, check me out on Tales from the Crypt.

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Oh shit, okay.

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And with us as always is Michael Larson.

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I'm still here.

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And I'm again, I'm Andy Rice.

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Okay, we're gonna drop that.

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And this is Tales from the Crypt.

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I didn't even come up with fun nicknames for you guys

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because I was so, uh, I could have come up with fun puns.

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Ah, I didn't do my, I didn't do enough research for this.

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I was watching too many Tales from the Crypt.

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You guys are pulling to me.

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I watched three of them.

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Tales from the Crypt diaries?

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Tales from the Crypt diaries, yeah.

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There's always a diary.

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Diaries from the Crypt.

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Yeah, I was gonna watch one of the movies, but I didn't.

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Um, so, hey, listen, I'm gonna start because I got three of them.

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I'll go one and then we'll switch around.

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So the first one that I did was a barber of mine recommended.

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I was sitting there, I was getting my hair cut.

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I mentioned that next week I got a, or like two weeks from now,

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I got a two Tales from the Crypt.

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It was right when we decided to start doing or whatever.

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And, uh, and she was like, she was like, oh, uh, well, I love that show.

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I was like, okay, well, what's your favorite episode?

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She tells me it is called What's Cooking and What's Cooking is season four,

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episode six, and it is Christopher Reeves.

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We're talking about Christopher Reeves, Superman Christopher Reeves.

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Uh, he is a walking around.

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Yeah, walking around.

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Okay. Yeah.

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So he's a full, yeah.

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And he's got a hot wife or whoever.

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Uh, he had, so he owns a little restaurant where all he, all he does,

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all he sells is squid, different preparations of squids, squid, squid, squid.

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It's a failing reference.

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It's a failing business and it's not doing well.

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So his landlord of the business, Meatloaf, the actor Meatloaf in a full, uh,

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business suit comes in, he's demanding money or whatever.

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And Christopher Reeves is like, just give me till next week.

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And the guy's like, no, uh, whatever.

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I'm going to, I'm going to do it now.

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So the whole while Christopher Reeve has a cook that's like clean him up guy,

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not a cook, but like a guy that cleans, um, who keeps hitting on his wife and shit.

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Anyway, that guy takes a knife out of the drawer.

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He finds Meatloaf and attacks him.

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Oh, no, no, sorry.

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They, Christopher Reeve attacks Meatloaf with a knife, uh, after they get into like

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kind of an altercation and then he's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

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Please don't.

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And then Meatloaf's like, I'm going to go get the fuck cops and then leaves.

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And Christopher Reeve just like, fuck.

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And he sits in his, like in his rest, in his restaurant, he's pissed.

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Meanwhile, someone else kills Meatloaf.

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And the next day his cook, his cleaning guy says like, hey, listen,

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I got these steaks, uh, that we can just start cooking instead.

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And he starts frying them up and starts feeding the townspeople.

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And everybody in the town loves these new steaks.

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And then when Chris goes into the back, he opens up the walk in and Meatloaf is there

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hanging its corpse and all the meat is being, uh, taken off of him chunk by chunk

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and being served to the people.

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So they're serving, uh, they're serving the Meatloaf, but they're serving a human.

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Serving a Meatloaf Meatloaf.

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Yeah, Meatloaf Meatloaf.

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And, uh, like more steaks, but yet everyone fucking loves it.

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And when, uh, how Meatloaf died.

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And they get into this like, uh, uh, oh, Judd Nelson is the, uh, is the guy.

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Judd Nelson is the clean them up guy.

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So it's Judd Nelson.

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Polo star.

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Yeah. I know. I was going to say it was a packed, uh, so Judd Nelson is the one

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that's like, Hey, keep your mouth shut.

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I'll keep getting us bodies or whatever.

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And so they keep killing, like he keeps killing people, supplying bodies, cooking it up.

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And they're making a fucking killing.

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At one point they made $8,000 in one day, which for a tiny little diner in this like

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little town is a lot.

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So, uh, she's like, I think we might have to open a second location.

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And the whole time Chris is like, Oh God, he feels fucking bad about it, but he's making

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so much money.

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So he's at the cooking station.

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He cuts off.

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So the ending is basically like, uh, he's, he's sitting there and he's cooking some meat.

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He smells it.

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It smells good.

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And he hasn't tried it yet.

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So it cuts off a little piece and he eats and he goes,

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Oh my God, this is fucking good.

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This is so fucking, he just like, he just, he just, his energy picks up and he starts

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flipping it around.

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He like, he's just enjoying his job more.

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And then it ends with a, the twist of like the Judd Nelson tries to like get, you know,

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like do a twist on him at the end, like take over the business or whatever.

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And with the help of his wife, her, her finding out about the bodies and with the help of

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him, uh, and the sheriff, they kill, they kill this dude and cook him.

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And the sheriff's in on it where he's like, how about we change the name to the name of

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the neon sign kept changing from like Frank and Irma's to, uh, like Larry, Frank and Irma's

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to now like, he's like, how about we change it to like, uh, you know, like Mark Frank

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and Irma's or whatever.

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So it's, it's a fun little twist.

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And then you get the most, let's just talk about this upfront.

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The crypt keeper, his, he's got puns on puns on puns on puns.

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Uh, I loved the show.

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I forgot how good that this show was because I used to watch it in the garage and drink

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and just love it.

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Also, if you watch all these on YouTube, completely uncensored titties, everything, like they

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just don't censor it for some fucking reason.

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I don't know if it's like historically significant, so they don't alter it.

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I don't know what it is, but you can watch pretty much every episode.

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I've seen so many titties on YouTube lately.

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It's interesting though, how this, the whole thing with this series, how it can't be played

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anywhere.

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There's nowhere that has it other than YouTube.

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Right.

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Somehow they're just letting it all go on YouTube.

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But there's the entire series.

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They tried to revive it.

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They were going to have M night Shyamalanma ding dong, like do his own thing.

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And then they just blue balled us and it didn't happen.

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I don't know.

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Take four.

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I mean, I would love 10 short M night Shyamalan stories crafted because I feel like you give

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him too much, you give him too much rope.

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He hangs himself a lot of the times when it comes to the show.

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He hangs himself a lot of the times when it comes to his movies.

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He doesn't need to do hour and a half, two hour long movies.

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The happening didn't need to be that.

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The happening needed to be mass suicides.

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It's the trees.

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Everyone dies.

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And it could have been 30, 40 minutes long and it would have been fucking awesome.

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And people would be talking about that stellar episode of the new, the reboot of Tales from

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the Crypt or whatever, or the, or it feels like a black mirror episode.

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It's HBO, isn't it?

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Yeah.

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So why wouldn't it be on HBO?

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They don't own the rights to it.

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Who does?

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I don't know.

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What the fuck are you doing?

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If you're listening, what the fuck are you doing?

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Make it, put it somewhere.

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I shouldn't have to watch this great show on YouTube.

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Although we love YouTube and any other.

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No, I'm saying I shouldn't have to like, the only place you can find it is on YouTube

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because some guy uploaded it there.

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Yeah, that's true.

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We should have a remastered wide screen accommodating.

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I'm afraid it's going to become lost media somehow.

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Once they catch it on YouTube, it probably will.

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Congress, the library of Congress has, has, is it culturally significant?

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I don't know.

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It might be.

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It's people talk about it.

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Yeah.

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Uh, so that was my first one.

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Uh, Mike, what was your first one?

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Uh, well, I watched, uh, threes a crowd, uh, as a married couple, their relationships

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kind of on the rocks, it seems like, uh, they've got financial issues, uh, but they

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got a wealthy friend, Alan.

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He was their best friend at the wedding, uh, or best man at the wedding.

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Been a close friend, uh, but Richard, the husband is jealous of, uh, it's, he becomes

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obsessed thinking his wife's having a fair with the rich guy.

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Right.

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And she's reassuring him and all that she's convinced there's some going on.

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They've been trying to have a baby.

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Uh, but there's this paranoia, it's just paranoia and tension that just builds

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throughout the episode.

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Uh, and Richard overhears them talking and confirming what he thinks is

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worst fear that they're having a thing and what they're really doing is

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planning a party for him.

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But, uh, yeah, he's driven to madness.

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He violent confronts them.

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He shoots the guy with an arrow with a, out of a crossbow.

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It's cool as fuck.

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He's like, that thing's loaded.

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He's like, yup.

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I love that.

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I already hated the guy that was cheating with his wife the whole time.

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I believe they were together, but they were not, it turned out.

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Uh, uh, he drags, he kills the ends up choking the wife

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out, drags her to the other guy's cabin, thinking where the party was going to

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happen that she doesn't know about.

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He drags her up to the cabin and the best death job of a chick playing dead

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I've ever seen.

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She, she literally lays there with her eyes open while he drags her by the neck.

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Uh, she drops her head.

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She never blinks.

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Never.

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It's, it's actually quite amazing as a performance.

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This chick like slams her head on the ground, just lays there with her eyes open

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and opens the door and it's a party and the sign in the background.

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You're going to have a baby.

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Yeah.

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And, uh, there's people there.

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Oh, there's so surprised.

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Yeah.

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Surprise.

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Your life was dragging her life.

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That's a hell of a great ending.

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Uh, I really can't say enough about how good it was.

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It was, it was one of the best done twists and scenes.

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Uh, acting was great.

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The beginning of it got a little self-opera, you know, how the acting gets

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and some of that stuff, but by the end it was great.

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Uh, very emotionally intense because the, the portrayals of this guy

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losing his mind, he does a really good job.

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Uh, so basically the twist and the crib keeper at the end laughing about, you know, uh,

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but it's psychological or more than body or like in this one is just psychological twist.

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Let's try to guess some of his puns.

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Let's see.

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It was a three-way.

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Talk about a monogamy twat.

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He didn't say twat, but yes, I didn't know that we had this, but we had a house

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Halloween decoration and it was the creep keeper in an electric chair and you would

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hang it on the front of your door.

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And it's like, it's like about, it's a little bigger than your head and it would

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rattle and shake and then you would hear his laugh.

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And I had no idea it was the creep keeper until I finally saw my first episode of

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tales from the crib.

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And then I wish we still had that.

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I was like, fuck, I would have kept that.

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I was like, this is the episodes really good just because it, like you could

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literally see it happening to you.

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This crazy guy already.

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I was rooting for him.

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Yeah.

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Even though you told me that they weren't cheating, I don't believe you.

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Yeah.

243
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,560
And I'm okay with that.

244
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,640
I was okay with him killing the dude, maybe not her.

245
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,680
It's, it's, uh, he's like, I knew it.

246
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,160
I knew it.

247
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,240
It's like, you can just see his descent into madness and they, they do it so quick

248
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,040
in the episode, but it really works.

249
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,240
It's four out of five stars.

250
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:44,480
It's great.

251
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:46,240
Super good.

252
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:46,740
Austin.

253
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:52,020
Uh, so I watched like a top 10 of the episodes, like you just briefly described

254
00:11:52,020 --> 00:11:53,220
the episodes like we are.

255
00:11:53,220 --> 00:11:56,420
And I w I looked at all 10 of them and I just made my pick for the one I was

256
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:57,460
actually going to watch.

257
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,140
So I chose split personality.

258
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,100
Oh, cool.

259
00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,420
And it was mainly because Joe Pesci is in it.

260
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:08,100
And, uh, so it starts out like they're at a casino and the guy, I think it's

261
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:09,780
the guy who plays cipher.

262
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,700
Oh, from matrix.

263
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,300
Matrix is the dealer.

264
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,780
And there's this guy playing, uh, blackjack.

265
00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:16,820
Joe Pesci goes up.

266
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:20,180
He's like, tell him, tell him to hit again, tell him, tell him to hit again

267
00:12:20,180 --> 00:12:21,060
with all these chips.

268
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:23,540
And he beat the guy wins and he hits it big.

269
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:24,900
And he's like, Oh, thank you.

270
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,020
Like here, here's some of your money.

271
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:29,780
He's like, I don't want any of your money, but here's what we could do is, uh,

272
00:12:30,260 --> 00:12:34,660
you know, you, I have a business and it's like a guaranteed it's guaranteed money.

273
00:12:34,660 --> 00:12:38,100
I just need you to write me a check for 10 K and give me your address and your

274
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,940
phone number and blah, blah, blah.

275
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:43,540
So he basically cons of this guy at a $10,000 after helping him after hearing

276
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:46,180
everything about, Oh, my son needs a surgery and this money is going to help.

277
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:49,460
And, uh, so he's just a sleazy fucking con man.

278
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,140
And he's laying in this bed with this chick with her tits out.

279
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:53,860
Great hits.

280
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,900
Full tits on YouTube.

281
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,100
Geez, Mike just chilled.

282
00:12:58,100 --> 00:13:00,100
I'm just kidding.

283
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,100
Calm down, put the chair down, Mike.

284
00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:03,540
So he's like talking.

285
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:06,580
He's like, I got to figure out a way out of, you know, just being like a simple

286
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:10,740
con man, like, and you know, cause I want to hit it big and I want twins.

287
00:13:10,740 --> 00:13:13,140
It's always he's driving down the road.

288
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,900
One day he gets a flat tire.

289
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:18,740
He's like trying to like get to the people in the house and it's like a nice big,

290
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:19,700
beautiful house.

291
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,300
And he goes and he sees a telephone.

292
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:25,380
Uh, these two twins come out and they're pointing a gun at him and he's like,

293
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,860
Hey, I just, I just needed to make a phone call and I'll be out of your guys'

294
00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:28,260
hair.

295
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:35,700
And, uh, he, they, they grow to like him and, uh, he finds out they're worth $2

296
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:39,540
billion and he starts with a B.

297
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:40,820
Yeah.

298
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:46,660
And he starts schmoozing both of them and, uh, he starts, starts fucking both

299
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,700
of them.

300
00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:51,300
Uh, but he, yeah, they're chicks, they're twin girls.

301
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:55,940
And he starts pretending that he has a brother that lives in South Africa.

302
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:59,060
She's like, Hey, I got to go out of town on business, but my brother will be here.

303
00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,100
And so he just changes.

304
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:05,220
He looks like an eighties Elton John because he, he, in his mind, he's

305
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:08,580
thinking, look, if I marry one of them, they, they like me.

306
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:11,380
But if I marry one of them, I only get half of the fortune.

307
00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:15,300
So if I pretend to be somebody, if I have, pretend I have a twin brother, I

308
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,860
can marry both of them and inherit all of it.

309
00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:18,820
That is insane.

310
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:24,420
So that goes on for a while, but the way they found that he was tanning in

311
00:14:24,420 --> 00:14:28,580
their, in their, by their pool and like part of his robe, like blue onto his

312
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:29,540
back while he was tanning.

313
00:14:29,540 --> 00:14:31,140
So it gave a big tan line.

314
00:14:31,780 --> 00:14:36,260
And then the girls figure out that, uh, oh yeah, he had this weird tan line on

315
00:14:36,260 --> 00:14:36,500
his back.

316
00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:38,660
He's like, wait, he, my guy did too.

317
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:42,500
And so they figure out that he was, uh, taking advantage of them.

318
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:46,740
No, in the beginning, you said he, did he fuck both of them at the same time?

319
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:47,380
In both of them?

320
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,300
No, not at the same time separately.

321
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:49,780
Separately.

322
00:14:49,780 --> 00:14:50,580
They knew about one.

323
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:54,420
Initially, he's, he's no, he's, he's fucking one as him.

324
00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,660
And then he's fucking the other one as his fake brother.

325
00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:59,060
I think when you first started off, you said that he fucked them.

326
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,140
No, he's, he's schmoozing them.

327
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:04,740
I, I, I just didn't get to the whole fake twin brother.

328
00:15:04,740 --> 00:15:04,980
Okay.

329
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:05,300
Got it.

330
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:08,340
So he's two, he's, he's pretending to be twins.

331
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,140
Yeah.

332
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:10,420
Fucking two twins.

333
00:15:10,420 --> 00:15:11,140
Are the twins hot?

334
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:12,420
Yeah.

335
00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:12,740
Okay.

336
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:18,740
And then, uh, he, they, yeah, so they figure out, they figure out his whole game

337
00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:24,660
and they, uh, they tie him, they tie him to a bed and then they tell him that like they

338
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:27,940
figured out everything and they chainsaw his dick.

339
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:34,500
And from going forward, like fucking.

340
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:34,980
Oh, wait.

341
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:35,220
Dick.

342
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:38,180
So we're talking split up the middle.

343
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:38,420
Yeah.

344
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:39,460
They split them up the middle.

345
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:39,700
Yes.

346
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:40,580
You've seen the movie.

347
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,420
And then it cuts to their rooms.

348
00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:46,580
It cuts to one girl's room and she's, she's laying with him and it's like a side profile

349
00:15:46,580 --> 00:15:46,980
of him.

350
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:50,660
And then it goes to the other room with the other girl and it's another side profile of

351
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:51,060
him.

352
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,940
But then the camera turns around and it's half of his body.

353
00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:54,660
That's awesome.

354
00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:57,060
So, and yeah, it was, it was a good one.

355
00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:57,860
That was a good one.

356
00:15:58,580 --> 00:15:59,300
Fuck yeah.

357
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,500
What do you give it a rating?

358
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:04,660
Uh, I'll give, I'll give that one a, uh, a B, a B minus.

359
00:16:04,660 --> 00:16:07,620
Or, uh, uh, four chainsaw dicks.

360
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:07,780
Yeah.

361
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:08,980
Four chainsaw dicks.

362
00:16:08,980 --> 00:16:11,140
I watched two and a half others.

363
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:12,580
Uh, I didn't really finish the third one.

364
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:16,500
The third one that I didn't finish, finished star Tim Curry in three different roles.

365
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:22,740
He played an old man, an old woman who, uh, con Ed Bakley Jr. as a salesman, salesman,

366
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:24,900
con artist who shows up trying to sell.

367
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:28,420
You see him like pull off a con in the beginning where he, he, uh, cons a woman out of like

368
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,420
150 bucks for a funeral plot.

369
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,420
Then he moves on to Tim Curry's house.

370
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:36,580
Uh, well the Tim Curry household and they bring him in drug him.

371
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:38,500
And when he wakes up, he's tied up or whatever.

372
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:41,220
And they are telling them like, let's kill him.

373
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:44,500
And she's like, no, pal, let's not kill him.

374
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:48,980
You know, let's wait till, let's wait till she sees him until Margaret sees him or whatever.

375
00:16:48,980 --> 00:16:51,540
And, uh, Ed Bakley is about to wake up.

376
00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:52,980
It's like, no, let's just kill him.

377
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:54,340
Uh, he's asleep, whatever.

378
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:58,740
When Ma, when the girl comes down, she's disgusting.

379
00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:03,220
It's Tim Curry in full gross, fat costume, makeup, pimply.

380
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:06,900
It's like everything just like they really go hard on making her disgusting.

381
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,140
And she tries to seduce Ed Bakley Jr.

382
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:10,740
And I was eating, so I stopped.

383
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:14,500
Uh, so, but you find out that they kill other other other people.

384
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,940
But then we get into the two that actually are really fucking liked.

385
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:21,220
Cutting cards is a cool ass episode.

386
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:24,180
It is the shortest episode of Tales of the Crypt.

387
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:26,500
Uh, I just, that's why I picked adding it on.

388
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,220
I was like, all right, cool.

389
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:30,100
And it had that picture of the guy with the rush roulette gun to his head.

390
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:33,060
So I saw still of a guy in a cowboy suit with a gun to his head.

391
00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:34,740
I was like, let's fucking do it.

392
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,740
That guy is fucking awesome.

393
00:17:36,740 --> 00:17:38,820
He plays this cowboy degenerate gambler.

394
00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:42,660
He shows up to an under underground gambling club and he walks in.

395
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,100
He's like, any heavy hitters here?

396
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,620
Is there any like high stakes poker?

397
00:17:45,620 --> 00:17:47,540
When I was here, there was a no limits room or whatever.

398
00:17:47,540 --> 00:17:50,100
They're like, well, there's, uh, I better forget their name,

399
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:53,540
but there's one guy in the back, you know, uh, and he recognizes the name.

400
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,300
He goes, fuck, he's here.

401
00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,300
I, you know, I, I fuck.

402
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:57,700
All right.

403
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,580
And so he goes, he ends up going to the back and he sees the guy.

404
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,660
He goes, what the fuck you do?

405
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:07,700
Like they have like a really heated just like, oh man, I fucking hate you.

406
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:08,740
I've always beaten you.

407
00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:09,060
Whatever.

408
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:10,580
It's like, yeah, I beat you last time.

409
00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:12,820
They're like real like up in each other's face.

410
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:14,660
And then they get to just like, all right, fuck it.

411
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,100
Let's, you know, let's play.

412
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,220
You guys like, I don't fuck.

413
00:18:17,220 --> 00:18:18,500
I'm not going to play against you.

414
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:19,380
How much money you got?

415
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,820
I got a hundred bucks in my pocket.

416
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:21,860
That's not worth it.

417
00:18:21,860 --> 00:18:22,580
It's like, fine.

418
00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:26,900
How about we play for whoever wins.

419
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:29,620
The other person has to get the fuck out of town and never come back.

420
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:31,300
I never have to see you ever again.

421
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:33,780
Guys like fine, but let's not play poker.

422
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,060
Let's go straight to it.

423
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:35,940
Russian roulette.

424
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:37,380
And the guy's like, fine.

425
00:18:37,380 --> 00:18:38,180
No, actually they do.

426
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:39,540
They do dice first.

427
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:41,460
They do dice and they both roll double six.

428
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:43,220
He's like, fucking Russian roulette.

429
00:18:43,220 --> 00:18:44,260
The guy's like, I got it.

430
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:45,540
I got a revolver in my car.

431
00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:46,660
Let's go.

432
00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,500
And they go outside in the parking lot.

433
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:52,020
Guy pulls out a gun, hands it to the other dude so that he can load it.

434
00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:54,100
He pulls the thing or actually he's about to do it.

435
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:54,820
The guy takes it from me.

436
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:55,860
He's like, no, fuck you.

437
00:18:55,860 --> 00:19:00,660
Knocks the bullets out, puts one in, spins it, hands it to the guy, puts it to his head.

438
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:07,140
And they do a full five rounds of Russian roulette.

439
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:08,340
It goes all the way through.

440
00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:11,540
And then it gets down to the cowboy guy with this whole time, the whole time.

441
00:19:11,540 --> 00:19:16,980
Every time, I mean, every time that he's got one of these guys gets a gun to their head,

442
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:21,300
the panic, the fear, the resolution, the guy's like, no,

443
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:22,820
you got to think about it first.

444
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:25,060
You got to think about the gun against your head.

445
00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:28,900
You got to think about the fact that my brain's going to splatter against the car over there.

446
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:29,620
Or am I going to?

447
00:19:29,620 --> 00:19:30,660
And then you just fucking does it.

448
00:19:30,660 --> 00:19:31,860
And you're just like, holy fuck.

449
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:32,980
And you're just like in it.

450
00:19:32,980 --> 00:19:36,100
The other guy's just like, and then he and the other guy's like looking at

451
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:39,620
he's got like a smile like this, like sick, like he's about to see someone die smile.

452
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:44,100
The moment it clicks, he goes, like, you just see the fear of fucking God in his eyes.

453
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,500
And he picks up the gun and it just goes like, it goes back up.

454
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,940
And they're just like back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

455
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:53,460
And then it gets down to that last bullet in the chamber, six,

456
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:58,420
and he's and the other guy has one and he tells the cowboy, he's like, I've done it.

457
00:19:58,420 --> 00:20:00,020
You know, you get the fuck out of town.

458
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:00,740
It takes the gun.

459
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,500
You don't tell me how to fucking play.

460
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,460
And he puts the gun up.

461
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:05,860
I always am a man of my fucking word.

462
00:20:05,860 --> 00:20:09,460
I'm you know, you tell people you tell my last words is I was didn't go out like a

463
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:12,660
fucking bitch and he clicks it and it just fucking nothing.

464
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,060
It's a dud.

465
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:15,780
It was a dud.

466
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:19,780
And they never really hash over why these guys fucking hate each other so much.

467
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:20,580
It's just watch it.

468
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:22,580
This is the first episode I've ever seen.

469
00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:22,980
Yeah.

470
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:24,980
So so they they don't really go.

471
00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:26,980
No, they just it's like bitter rival.

472
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:27,380
Right.

473
00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:33,060
So then right after that, you think the episode would be over at one point, a guy drives up,

474
00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:35,620
a guy drives up and interrupts them.

475
00:20:35,620 --> 00:20:38,900
And he's honking the horn like, hey, move it.

476
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:42,100
And the dude takes the gun out of the other guy's hand, points to the guys.

477
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:44,340
Hey, my friend and I are fucking doing something.

478
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:46,260
My friend and I are fucking doing something over here.

479
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,860
You heard my friend get the fuck out here.

480
00:20:47,860 --> 00:20:49,300
They both stare down this dude.

481
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,780
And the guy he's like, all right, all right, all right, he leaves.

482
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:55,140
And then it goes back to them, takes the gun and they just go back to resuming it.

483
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,900
He goes, all right, then chop poker.

484
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:04,900
And it goes to another incredibly tense scene where they're just playing five hand draw.

485
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,380
No, not like no river or anything.

486
00:21:07,380 --> 00:21:08,340
Just best hand wins.

487
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:10,740
You can trade your cards or whatever, but two hands or whatever.

488
00:21:10,740 --> 00:21:14,740
And then loser gets their finger chopped off by a fucking blade.

489
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:16,340
And they do it.

490
00:21:16,340 --> 00:21:21,300
And then it comically, the comic ending of it is after that, after they each lose a couple

491
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:25,700
rounds or whatever, it cuts to them in a nursing home, losing their arms and legs.

492
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:30,100
And they're playing checkers and they're aggressively playing checks.

493
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:34,260
And then the last thing is their faces shmushed up against each other in like an aggressive,

494
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:37,140
like, like a free frame, like rock, which I love.

495
00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:45,700
The other episode I watched that I really, really, really enjoy, but holy shit, is it weird.

496
00:21:45,700 --> 00:21:48,980
It's called Skin Deep and it's a guy.

497
00:21:48,980 --> 00:21:51,060
He goes to a Halloween party.

498
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,260
He wasn't invited to.

499
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:53,780
He sees this woman dancing.

500
00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:55,300
He looks very angrily at her.

501
00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,700
Another guy, the host of the party comes up to him and says,

502
00:21:58,420 --> 00:21:59,620
Doug, what the fuck are you doing here?

503
00:21:59,620 --> 00:22:00,260
You can't be here.

504
00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:03,140
You can't be around her.

505
00:22:03,140 --> 00:22:04,260
Like, and he's like, what?

506
00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:05,380
I thought we were friends.

507
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:08,500
The guy's like, no, he's like, oh, you believe the shit that she said?

508
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:09,380
You think I really hit her?

509
00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:10,420
You think I choked her or whatever?

510
00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:13,940
Like, it's out there that he beat the shit out of his wife, right?

511
00:22:13,940 --> 00:22:14,500
She left it.

512
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,580
But now she's dancing with some guy at a Halloween party.

513
00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,660
They were separated and she's allowed to do that.

514
00:22:18,660 --> 00:22:20,660
But he's fucking getting aggressive and he's getting drunk.

515
00:22:20,660 --> 00:22:22,740
And the host of the party is this kind of a wimpy guy.

516
00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:23,700
I can't really get rid of him.

517
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,380
So he's like, I'm just going to have one drink.

518
00:22:25,380 --> 00:22:27,060
He goes and he's there.

519
00:22:27,060 --> 00:22:30,900
Well, he's at the party and he kind of has an aggressive fight with his wife.

520
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:32,580
And she's like, you can't hit me here, can you?

521
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:34,180
You want to choke me in front of all these people?

522
00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:36,260
Like, it's aggressive. He goes in the other room.

523
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:38,740
And when he's in the kitchen, he pours himself a drink,

524
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,740
and smashes like a punches a pumpkin or whatever.

525
00:22:40,740 --> 00:22:44,660
There's like a hot chick, like a hot body chick with this creepy white mask.

526
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:47,300
It's a Halloween party.

527
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,220
And so they talk.

528
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:51,860
And she's like sexy as fuck.

529
00:22:51,860 --> 00:22:53,860
If you ever watch this, I don't know what the acting was.

530
00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:56,100
Or like, they just let her just go wild.

531
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,100
But like everything she says is the right thing.

532
00:22:59,060 --> 00:23:00,420
She definitely seduces him.

533
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,100
He's in for it.

534
00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:03,460
They take off together.

535
00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:05,700
And it's like one of those things where it's like when they get back to her place,

536
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:08,740
which is just like this abandoned shithole hotel or whatever.

537
00:23:10,340 --> 00:23:13,060
When they're in there and they're getting heated up,

538
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:14,660
like she's like, here, feel my thigh.

539
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:15,860
She like puts his hand right there.

540
00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:19,620
He like makes the cardinal rule that I think like a lot of guys have made.

541
00:23:19,620 --> 00:23:23,060
Like right when like that was happening, he like gets too eager.

542
00:23:23,060 --> 00:23:24,900
And he says like, should we have sex?

543
00:23:24,900 --> 00:23:26,500
And she's like, she takes his hand.

544
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:31,620
She's like, I mean, you were kind of doing the right thing up until that.

545
00:23:31,620 --> 00:23:33,860
You know, and it's just like one of those things like too eager.

546
00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:36,100
Like, let the moment fucking flow.

547
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:39,700
And he was just he's like one of those aggressive needs, what he wants,

548
00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:43,140
you know, wants what he needs or wants what he whatever one of those guys.

549
00:23:43,940 --> 00:23:46,100
So they fuck.

550
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,620
She drugs him.

551
00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:50,180
He walks around the house.

552
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:55,060
He sees what a black guy screaming at him, but who's not there.

553
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:59,140
She wants to kind of she's like, you know, this was great.

554
00:23:59,140 --> 00:24:00,740
But like, leave me alone now.

555
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:02,420
I don't want to I don't want to do this.

556
00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:03,300
Well, no, he's there.

557
00:24:04,020 --> 00:24:05,460
He's OK with cuddling or whatever.

558
00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:09,620
But what happened was when he fucked her, he released all of his rage.

559
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:13,860
He feels like he felt like he was better for it and he felt happier after.

560
00:24:13,860 --> 00:24:16,260
So when he's cuddling up with his like, I've never felt like this before.

561
00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:19,780
And they were having this like, keep our masks on, don't tell each other our names.

562
00:24:19,780 --> 00:24:22,500
But then he's like, my name is like, and she's like, no, what the fuck are you doing?

563
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:23,620
I don't want this.

564
00:24:23,620 --> 00:24:26,660
And they start he starts trying to get closer and closer to her.

565
00:24:26,660 --> 00:24:27,700
She says, just leave me alone.

566
00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:28,580
She's trying to like sleep.

567
00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:30,500
She's like, I want you out of here by the time I wake up.

568
00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:32,100
Just leave me the fuck alone.

569
00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:34,340
And he's just like, no, I need you.

570
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:37,300
And then he then he starts getting angry.

571
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:39,620
He's like, no, you're not going to treat me like this fucking bitch.

572
00:24:39,620 --> 00:24:43,540
And like, because he's an abusive guy, he immediately goes abusive.

573
00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:45,940
And so anyway, he gets drugged.

574
00:24:45,940 --> 00:24:52,580
He finds a room full of faces that have been ripped off of men that she's fucked.

575
00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:54,820
And they're all on display.

576
00:24:55,460 --> 00:25:00,180
And he comes in and he goes to her and she's still wearing her mask.

577
00:25:00,180 --> 00:25:02,420
And he goes like, you fuck you killed all of them.

578
00:25:02,420 --> 00:25:05,620
She has like a little hacksaw thing that she was using in that room.

579
00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:06,420
And he didn't know was in there.

580
00:25:06,420 --> 00:25:08,020
She's like, you fucking killed all those people.

581
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:12,180
So he attacks her and she kills him.

582
00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:15,460
He tries to take the mask off and rips her flesh.

583
00:25:16,100 --> 00:25:18,900
And she says, I was born like this, you fucking asshole.

584
00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,300
And those men tried to fucking rape me or whatever.

585
00:25:21,300 --> 00:25:22,900
And like, but anyway, she kills him.

586
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:25,700
So she was actually kind of a victim the whole time.

587
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:27,460
And he really was just a monster.

588
00:25:27,460 --> 00:25:30,260
The whole monster the whole time was this rapist aggressive guy.

589
00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:30,740
I liked it.

590
00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:34,740
It was just a more grounded, a little bit of sci-fi, a little bit of horror.

591
00:25:35,380 --> 00:25:38,500
Overall, I'm giving tales from the crypt itself,

592
00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:43,780
from the three episodes that I watched so far, a B plus enthusiastically.

593
00:25:43,780 --> 00:25:45,140
It has been a blast.

594
00:25:45,140 --> 00:25:47,220
It is everything I fucking want.

595
00:25:47,220 --> 00:25:52,660
Late 90, early 2000, cheesy soap opera, over the top, horror, sci-fi.

596
00:25:52,660 --> 00:25:53,700
It's Twilight Zone.

597
00:25:53,700 --> 00:25:54,580
It's Black Mirror.

598
00:25:54,580 --> 00:25:55,860
It's whatever it wants to be.

599
00:25:55,860 --> 00:25:58,420
It's great, and the crypt keepers are so full of fucks.

600
00:25:58,420 --> 00:26:00,260
There's some honorable mentions.

601
00:26:00,260 --> 00:26:02,500
There's one that Arnold Fortunaire directed.

602
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:04,820
Holy shit, watch that one.

603
00:26:04,820 --> 00:26:05,460
What's that called?

604
00:26:06,100 --> 00:26:06,420
It's...

605
00:26:09,460 --> 00:26:11,140
You can watch the top 10.

606
00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:13,300
There's an episode called...

607
00:26:13,300 --> 00:26:16,900
Cinemassacre does a top 10 video, and he briefly explains them.

608
00:26:16,900 --> 00:26:19,060
He doesn't like to give away the spoilers, so I can't really...

609
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:21,940
He's in the beginning and he talks to the crypt keepers.

610
00:26:21,940 --> 00:26:23,540
Oh, group people, what's up?

611
00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,900
So there's one called Yellow that I wanted to watch.

612
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:27,940
There's one that...

613
00:26:27,940 --> 00:26:28,980
Fuck, who directed it?

614
00:26:28,980 --> 00:26:30,420
I kind of want to watch the whole thing now.

615
00:26:30,420 --> 00:26:30,820
I just want to...

616
00:26:30,820 --> 00:26:32,100
It's the one that...

617
00:26:32,100 --> 00:26:33,220
What's his name?

618
00:26:33,220 --> 00:26:33,700
Me too.

619
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:38,900
I forget the director's name, but it's the one where the one son is a coward soldier,

620
00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:41,060
and his dad's a big time general.

621
00:26:41,060 --> 00:26:41,700
It's called Yellow.

622
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:42,820
That's the one I was just talking about.

623
00:26:42,820 --> 00:26:46,260
It's Kirk Douglas and his son that passed away.

624
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:48,820
Michael Douglas.

625
00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:50,340
Who's the father?

626
00:26:50,340 --> 00:26:52,500
Kirk is the father.

627
00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:59,860
So Spartacus and Eric Douglas, the brother who passed away in I think 1996 or 1997.

628
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:03,540
Around then.

629
00:27:03,540 --> 00:27:05,380
Maybe later, but he passed away.

630
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:06,900
So it was them.

631
00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:09,220
Are they father and son in the show?

632
00:27:09,220 --> 00:27:10,260
Yeah, in real life.

633
00:27:10,260 --> 00:27:10,820
That's pretty cool.

634
00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:12,020
Yeah, that's cool.

635
00:27:12,020 --> 00:27:12,820
That's great, yeah.

636
00:27:13,860 --> 00:27:14,660
I've seen that episode.

637
00:27:14,660 --> 00:27:17,780
I don't really remember it that well, but I remember enjoying it.

638
00:27:17,780 --> 00:27:20,820
I saw some of these like 25, 30, whatever they were on.

639
00:27:20,820 --> 00:27:22,980
I mean, it was like five, six years ago.

640
00:27:22,980 --> 00:27:25,140
Yeah, when I could sneak in some HBO.

641
00:27:28,020 --> 00:27:29,940
Going back to it, it's so good.

642
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:38,100
Yellow was a back door pilot for a new show that they wanted to do that was going to be war themed,

643
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:40,420
but in the style of Tales from the Crypt.

644
00:27:41,140 --> 00:27:46,260
Like different crazy war stories like Yellow would have been.

645
00:27:46,260 --> 00:27:49,540
And there's comics, Tales from the Crypt comics, if you've ever seen them.

646
00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:51,540
Oh, I'm sure there's Tales from the Crypt.

647
00:27:51,540 --> 00:28:00,260
After seeing Aliens versus Predator versus Batman versus Superman as a legit comic book

648
00:28:00,260 --> 00:28:05,940
that you could go and buy or it's the four of them fighting, I was like, yeah, of course,

649
00:28:05,940 --> 00:28:06,900
there's comic books for everything.

650
00:28:06,900 --> 00:28:12,660
There's a rule 34 for, I think, if something exists, there's a comic book crossover with it.

651
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:16,500
So I can imagine Tales from the Crypt meets Batman is a thing.

652
00:28:16,500 --> 00:28:19,940
I haven't looked it up, but I can imagine there's a Tales from the Crypt

653
00:28:19,940 --> 00:28:21,780
where Batman has to get involved.

654
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:23,380
I don't know how, but it would happen.

655
00:28:23,380 --> 00:28:25,140
So B plus for me, whole entire series.

656
00:28:25,140 --> 00:28:25,780
I loved it.

657
00:28:25,780 --> 00:28:27,220
All those episodes are great.

658
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:28,660
I'm going to probably watch all of them.

659
00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:33,940
Yeah, all of them, including the two movies, Bordello of Blood and Demon Knights, which I have.

660
00:28:33,940 --> 00:28:37,140
I think in Halloween, this is just put on that playlist and go.

661
00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:38,660
Yeah, cool.

662
00:28:38,660 --> 00:28:46,260
Well, thank you everybody for joining us for a oh, God, I wish I'd come up with another another pun.

663
00:28:46,260 --> 00:28:52,020
You'd think I'd have a bunch of rice puns locked and loaded a whole life of having a

664
00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,100
putty nails from the crock pot.

665
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:57,620
Tales from the I didn't like it.

666
00:28:57,620 --> 00:29:02,100
It's white rice for sure.

667
00:29:02,100 --> 00:29:02,980
I don't know.

668
00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:03,620
Fuck it.

669
00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:09,060
This has been the Tales from the Crypt special.

670
00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:13,620
We're going to keep this just under 30 minutes with me, as always has been Austin.

671
00:29:13,620 --> 00:29:25,380
If he were a Tales from the Crypt episode, I think that he would be someone who was attacked by like a female main character of a movie.

672
00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:25,860
You know what I mean?

673
00:29:25,860 --> 00:29:28,580
Like you would be one of the one of the goons that would get like.

674
00:29:28,580 --> 00:29:34,420
That'd be like nice tits villain. Exactly.

675
00:29:34,420 --> 00:29:39,220
If Michael was a villain in a Tales from the Crypt episode, he would be the Tales.

676
00:29:39,220 --> 00:29:42,020
He would be the Crypt Keepers grandfather.

677
00:29:42,020 --> 00:29:42,900
I cannot.

678
00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:45,140
Carson, because I cannot die.

679
00:29:45,140 --> 00:29:46,500
You're old as fuck.

680
00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:47,700
And I'm Andy Rice.

681
00:29:47,700 --> 00:29:51,380
I would be some weird thing with like a murder room that have puppets in it.

682
00:29:51,380 --> 00:29:54,180
And who knows what else we keep adding to it.

683
00:29:54,180 --> 00:29:58,820
Rice and this has been Fried Rice Podcast.

684
00:29:58,820 --> 00:29:59,780
You say it.

685
00:29:59,780 --> 00:30:00,740
We've been fried.

686
00:30:00,740 --> 00:30:01,940
We've been rice.

687
00:30:01,940 --> 00:30:04,260
We've been.

688
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:06,820
We've been podcast.

689
00:30:06,820 --> 00:30:24,740
We've been pod.

