And welcome bitches to another episode of fried rice podcast. I'm your host Andy Rice
bitch let's get fried with me as always bitch it's Austin he three hours to be
here bitch feral with me as always it's Michael I'm gonna find him in his dreams
and kill him bitch LR said with me as always it's Brennan
bitch simply have to Boston we're back to the bitch thing you know altogether
altogether yeah that was great and welcome everybody to the Freddy versus
Jason episode of fried rice podcast if you joined us the last couple of days you
would notice that we did we started our 17 nights of Halloween and we have done
a episode all about nightmare on Elm Street we've done one all about Friday
the 13th so why don't we combine those two classics and watch the well take
class let's just say the movie Freddy versus Jason which is already AI you can
record me now there's there are some split this we have some split
preferences on this movie some of the crew's felt like it was good and the
other crew thought it was real bad yeah I'm just trying to think of what our AI
is gonna but yeah first what are we smoking I packed well you packed it for
me but alien labs I got a 2 for 70 deal over at story and crypto chronic is why
I guess maybe the brand or alien labs is the brand and the strain is maybe it's
crypto chronic I don't know hybrid yeah crypto chronic I'm not into the crypto
scheme but you know what are you gonna do tasty yeah it's tasty I like it and
what'd you bring bread last week original farms original originals Jack
it's the Tiva I also brought the the jeeters the autumn haze which haven't
really been good for us they've been clogging my ears has really needed to
step up its game when it comes to pre rolls I'm sorry guys I was been the
biggest fan of yours for so long but literally probably lying there's so
many bottles above his toilet yeah there's so many like dozens there's
dozens of baby Jeter packs he's a baby Jeter connoisseur I am I love you guys
so much please stop tightening the joints so much it's been impossible it's
probably the last four out of five baby Jeter thick jars that I've got out of
each five four out of five impossible to smoke without poking a fucking
paperclip through the bottom and that's not what I'm paying for you guys are
premium you guys are like infused fucking Keith rolled like we love this shit
well there's there's probably a way to fix that like a like a there's some guy
on the internet somewhere that's just like it's a YouTube video and it's just
like a wall for five seconds hello guys I'm going to show you how to fix your
Jeter when it clogs a little bit so all right and then the camera stops
looking at the wall and looks at a Jeter and he starts first you gotta take a
paperclip I prefer a standard paperclip because that's what I'm able to find at
my store when you bend it make sure that it stays pretty straight because if
there's a bend it might not work the way that you expect and that's how you do it
like and subscribe subscribe hit the bell hit the bell now I'm picturing Adam
Sandler's character from the hot chick you can hide your weed in there you
could hide your Jeter's in there that's my standard like Canadian I slip into
like a Canadian sort of stoner I think is one of my go-to voices and I love it
I don't want to make fun of your impression until I wanted to see the
material that was gonna come out of it I was like he's turning Canadian right
now right in front of my eyes but my impression wasn't an impression it was a
continue it was a yes ending of your I guess generic YouTube guy like you were
just you came up with a guy and I think oh yeah I kind of picked up where you
left off when I got my new TV it's a Sony Bravia and I wanted to see like
what's the best settings to have like with my PS5 and it's just some random
guy filming it on a on a little tykes potato he's like hey guys uh I got a
thing specifically your one problem you're the only person in the universe
that has this problem love it any anytime I've needed to like change my
headlight or whatever it's like every car is different every car has a
different little fucking thing you got unscrew whatever so I go online and
there's a YouTube video for every car model every single fucking thing is like
oh you got a key all right I got you you just open up the thing you got pop out
the thing and it's just some guys like there you go I'm your dad now online I'm
your guy and it's just great maybe you should make some little stoner how to's
oh anyway the only thing I could how to is probably hey kids you got a lot of
potential well listen to me I tell you how to fuck it up if you want to be 37
with the failed everything your podcast has 45 subscribers thanks by the way
everybody and this is then you put so much effort and time into this this is
your literally all you have and it's 45 subscribers after a year of work kids
why are you staring at me like it's my fault I don't know I try really hard
damn it off remember to like and subscribe if you want to we have a new
format on how to ruin every relationship you've ever had despite how many times
you've had sex not quite figuring it out yet I got you covered guys so oh god
speaking of which when we I'm in a group chat with Hank Sean and Jesse fuck fuck
is going on do you guys like actively not like me or what's like what's
happening no it's booked it's booked there's enough comedians everyone's
doing ten minutes and there's six comedians already that's an hour it's a
small place so we're a group but continue but uh yeah there's a group
chat for like setting up the show Jesse's bringing stuff Jesse's like oh
I'm bringing this chick from Phoenix she's cool you'll like her awesome you
should meet her because she's out in Phoenix and she can get you like spots
or you know connections and whatnot I'm like cool yeah I'll take the appropriate
route and try to like you know get a spot or something and then everyone
assumed that that meant I was going to try to fuck her oh yeah I'm waking up
just trying to drink coffee I'm like fuck I have 30 minutes to leave for the
podcast I'm gonna be late and then it's just everyone just the fucking girl
everyone's just clowning on me well wait so you but then Sean called me a
pedophile yeah you did bring hey Austin meet meet my meet my 13 year old niece
and then Austin quotation marks I'm gonna take the appropriate route with
you like Jesus fuck dude yeah I just woke up and I saw that's great yeah I'll
take the fucking right route with that and just meant like you'll take the
rape yeah take the rape route yeah you know that's that's a fall else fail I'm
gonna let's just let me mark this time down damn it I don't know my pen uh
would you bring up again Andy cuties I don't know why'd you bring that up you
brought it I never said it you said it five thirty seconds ago literally you're
like I was called a pedophile like yeah you did bring up cuties a couple
podcasts it's funny it's hilarious I think Andy's just mad that you have a
group chat without him yeah yeah I'm attacking you know he's also not invited
to the block party yeah I heard there was a block party going on wasn't invited
blocked by yourself just show up and I'm here I don't even know blocked never
met him before my life Ken block so cock block cock block yeah oh man I did write
the worst ever cock block in this okay let's get into this so I'm not mad about
the cock block and then I just listened to double dragon he's like I hold
grudges I hold so many good things I think even my door also it's not your
door it's two doors tell my mind yeah usually I'm holding something when I
walk in so I don't close it that fast you're like close the door and then you
just bring it back to my grandpa like close the door we're not air conditioning
the outside I've never once complained about the air conditioning it's been one
specific reason and what is that reason Mike flies flies and what is that reason
Brennan bugs so why don't you just for a moment think that not once have I yelled
at you I have just maybe sternly suggested several times and his OCD is
very flies and bugs it's like I didn't know it was flies and bugs I thought
like oh if I don't close it fast enough a copy of cuties is gonna fly through
the door yeah you have so many in your trunk physical
you can't sell them you bought the physical copies of the Netflix streaming
movie cuties no yeah it's just it's just bugs man I just don't want that it the
wind they only have one window opportunity to get in here because all
my actual windows are closed it's a door and that door is only open when I invite
you quote unquote friends into my home and that quote unquote really depends on
how quickly you shut the door it's either you're a podcast guest or you're
a friend that walks through it's how quick that door closes I figure when he
buys a house someday if he ever buys a house it's gonna have it's gonna have one
of those blower it's where you go in one door and it's just before the other one
it fully fucking sanitizes the person before they walk in Mike if you don't
think I've dreamt of that my entire fucking life if I was rich enough and I
just lived here I turn my whole like garage area into a desanitation like as
you go the psst we wouldn't come over he would just live somewhere where just
flies just aren't at some extreme temperature place yeah I've looked up
places that have the least amount of bugs it's a weird thing and cold weather
Antarctica is there like oh I'm sure yeah and are because where you go if you
don't want the bugs you're a hundred percent and I would thrive I don't feel
about penguins I love penguins or things I know about the things you know you
could have so many ants you could have ants in your carpet and not even know it
no I would know I I noticed when there's a tiny little crumb on my carpet I'd
sometimes been to pick it up you know like I'm not I would notice the level of
OCD we're with it more days there's three I'm sitting here prodding it like
there's yeah like there's three ants or there's three ant hills in my driveway
out in the front there but they've been respectful and keeping their distance
and not coming my way you know why it's not only food out and I wash everything
I don't let bugs in here I hate I have an ant problem at my house and mostly
they stay outside I went to Chipotle got a burrito unwrapped my brewed I don't
get cheese on them but there was one little stray strand of cheese like on
the wrapper and it fell on the floor and I didn't realize it and I'm playing a
game and I'm out something bit me and I looked down just an orgy of ants on this
little strand of cheese like I never I'd never I'd never drop food on the ground
I sweep and mop everything and something here's the thing as a guy who I like I
routinely clean up after myself if I dropped a piece of cheese on the floor
one piece of cheese it's not gonna bring ants because I feel like that's you
already had ants nearby is what I'm saying though they were in wait for
something to fall for me they would have to send out scouts it would be like a
whole Frodo journey to find out that there was a piece of cheese in my house
and by the time they got back to their their dude to tell that the Queen to
tell them to send troops to get the cheese bro I've already sanitized the
floor and I'm ready and I've got like a salt rifle a with one that shoots salt
and I'm like I've killed every type of bug with that thing moths I feel bad
shooting them because it takes like four or five shots but you still do it rip
through their wings more than anything and they fall to the ground but it's
like you see them flying and then like yeah like a like a plane like that and
then you just see their wings get riddled with with holes aren't they good
aren't moths good for some reason don't you keep like one spider around I'm
sorry hold on good for what other bugs don't there's no other I feel like
they're positive for some reason if there's no other bugs in my house the
moth is the bug you don't have a spider you don't have a spider bro no I don't
have a spider bro every spider I've ever had in here I've gone to great lengths
to kill it you guys have heard a spider bro right no yeah it's you you keep one
spider in your house because it kills all the other bugs you just leave him
alone give him his little corner and he kills all the other bugs for you he's
your spider bro that sounds awful that sounds like something I would never do
you're talking to that moth who's like I'm just gonna you know help Andy in
some way what oh my god he shot me three more times please kill me that was our
water you don't have to lower me I was screaming shit this is gonna keep falling
all right well uh that was our water we smoking thanks Brandon and let's get
into Freddie versus fucking Jason don't you take your shirt off then for what
it's just the whole movie it's just like don't you have to get naked if you're
watching listen they did it right because that's exactly just right off
the bat exactly what we needed we just needed tears off the front it's like
this is a slasher movie Mike did you enjoy them or they nice ones it was so
funny how it was so obvious instantly that they were dead it was like it was
more humorous than anything I watched this the most dangerous way possible
while driving and I have it my phone balanced on my dash and the Bluetooth
hooked up to my my but here's the thing is that I have a privacy screen on my
phone so I could hardly make out anything now do you want it also there's
a Bluetooth delay for the audio from my phone to my car so everything like you
see a chop and you're like did he hit did he connect it and then five seconds
ching yeah now I haven't done this but the trick that I've seen someone do
while driving is you don't put it on your dash you put it on your speedometer
right in that little right on that little dash part it fits perfectly where
your split where your speedometer is and then you just it's right there and you
just look down just a little bit so you gotta see my screen Saturday driving
down those highways there's just cop cop cop cop somebody they unless it's
nighttime they don't know that your phone is there somebody does the due
diligence and goes on Google Maps every Saturday on my route and marks where all
the speed traps are I saw the funniest YouTube though where it's just a cop
it's a cop looking at the maps he goes huh and he's unchecked it saying roads
clear and it's just him sitting there and it's just great like they don't have
access to maps in fact I bet you a lot of the times it's cops just be like we
don't have the manpower for this cop cop cop cop cop it will just put you at one
of them so that they confirm it's real and then they'll slow the fuck down
like that's that'd be just smart police tech I do it if there's a guy riding my
ass and it says is the speed trap still here I put no knowing that it is and
then I let the guy pass me that's great so we open with I guess Jason's first
kill right with the yeah the Freddie the narration no it opens with where
bitch oh that's okay then why did we didn't see titties right off the bat
now it was about three or four oh I got you okay because the Springwood slasher
is what he's called which I think is great we get death number one what he
played that creep so well though Robert oh yeah I felt scared for that little
girl actress you know like it's creepy death number one was the little girl it
happens off-screen one out of ten just I mean it's just not I have every death in
here so we'll go through them so how does Freddie know about Jason and how
does he know how to resurrect Jason Crystal Lake and Elm Street apparently
are in the same city well he said he had he went to the bowels of bowels of hell
yeah fine so he discovered him in hell okay I'm finding the worst of the worst
okay got it either that or they were gonna pull a hocus pocus to where he
watched the Jason movies and Jason saw a Freddie movie and then they both were
like I've seen you in the movies you know like stupid something bullshit like
that what's up with these towns keeping these crazy stories under wraps yeah
there's not one cop it's like man you don't know this guy pulled this guy's
veins out made him jump off a building Wow really like this guy with a machete
just getting shot the fuck the idea of it actually kind of makes this because
Freddie's power all comes from fear so if nobody knows about they suppress it
one guy suggested let's why don't we call the FBI's like no we can handle
this our so they call the FBI I feel like that would be kind of their thing
now if you had an agent if you had a mold or Scully situation and they came
in and they're like we know we you could tell us we'll figure out a way to like
maybe handles yeah give it to higher-ups but I know the fear the fear is like what
happens if you tell the FBI does it potentially spread outside of Elm Street
does it like go to anywhere yeah like but at the same time this town super
weird we have that mental hospital full of teenagers what's up with that put
them in there too oh I know but like from the town's perspective there's an
insane asylum full of teenagers right up the mountain near Crystal Lake and Elm
Street they're all very close to each other I don't like that that's like when
we found out in a Batman versus Superman how close Gotham and Metropolis was
across the river from each other across the bay across the bay oh that's not
that's not how that works once New York and one Chicago I think and so anyway
but it's the same things like no one questions why the house is on Elm Street
or dirt cheap it's like huh this house is up for says a beautiful home 1428
Elm Street I love this shit I'll move in here why is it a 50 grand why are why is
a wise Palm Street next the street over why are those 1.2 million 1.2 million
dollars ours is 55 grand what's going on don't question it sweet dreams and then
you leave fuck Mary kill Fred Scooby Shaggy easy it's Mary Scooby fuck Shaggy
kill Fred they played that game and I don't think they played it correctly
they didn't because she said we're not gonna play that one I'm not even gonna
play that I'm like why that's the easiest one because the three stooges
either way say your catchphrase it's basically slapstick that was that was
the most primed I've ever set you up for your you see like if you're gonna fuck
one of the stooges it's basically slapstick Michael and then I don't like
Kelly Rowland's character like I feel like she plays a ditzy teenager just
fine with the main girl the black chick oh I like the black chick her characters
just fine I don't know sorry she does great playing a bad character her
character is bad in which I don't like the characters at attributes like when
she's basically trying to get her friend date raped or like or like forcing her
in an uncomfortable situation here's her friend ever since Blake left I've been
depressed and she's like you need to go fuck a guy and she's like no I really
don't want to and she's like check out check it all start check out Blake over
there it's like well I don't like him and I'm not attracted to him and I don't
want anything to do with them okay Blake come over here sit next to us and then
uh so you should fuck this guy and she's like nope I don't want to give you the
tour tour the bedroom like she's just so bad before you she's my favorite scene
in the movie where she's just roasting Freddie oh yeah we'll get there yeah
we'll get there what's with the butter knife yeah but she's a bad friend Lori
obviously doesn't want to be with this fucking creep and she says you and Blake
oh you should show Blake your feng shui I'm like what a fucking bitch dude
feng shui the hell out of that bed well no another guy did the other dude did
but yeah it plus inviting over these dudes anyway was was uncalled for she's
a bitch to both of her friends what oh and then the dude that fucks the drunk
chick the her boyfriend maybe but what a fucking legend what a king it's a you
know I don't like being touched afterwards and she respects it leaves
that's what every woman should just you fuck and then please it's too hot to be
fucking cuddled right now give me some fucking time to cool down see that's not
how I definitely that's definitely not how I interpreted oh I interpreted he
wonders why he's not married or anything I don't want why I don't wonder I know
exactly why the first line that that caught me with him was like come rub my
shoulders like I'm not gonna ask again and then yeah and then that line don't
touch me like he's a fucking douche well okay I put more effort into dying than
sex did a great job dying gets folded in half yeah yeah yeah clenching that beer
can yeah death number two he stabbed repeatedly and then bed folded in half
eight out of ten that that seemed fucked me up as a kid and then we get
that's just her back injuries just that whole with a knife in you and the sound
of it well you were watching the car always a kid though well I remember a
little things like where he's like I can't remember my dreams anymore that
scene the sound he folded him up was what made it so good oh yeah
watching your car like you did you didn't hear
yeah like wait does that was that the him folding him out oh yep there it is I
don't remember what happened next but I wrote the next two deaths and I should
have been a little more specific but I just put death number three is off-screen
but we see the head fall off of somebody death number four is off-screen and it's
just blood splattering and so that's a three out of ten for the head and a two
out of ten for just the blood then we get Krampus and Jason Ritter we're
introduced to those two and I say Krampus if because in a couple months you
can listen to our review of violent night see now you're breaking I know I
know but I knew that was gonna happen but the actor who plays Krampus in
violent night which came out a couple years ago so it's actually alright for
me to bring it up it's okay I'm like why is the movie exists outside of us
although you just said we in a couple of months oh yeah that's true I we are gonna
review it but the actor plays Krampus is a patient at the insane asylum with
Jason Ritter John Ritter's son who died of a massive heart attack the same kind
of shit that Mike almost had so that's just a little seven degrees of when's
Mike gonna die I believe in about six weeks oh geez you do have surgery coming
up soon so everybody if you this guy who played Krampus I barely saw his face is
he the same guy from rampage yeah that guy oh you weren't here for violent
night well Krampage were you here for violent night yeah it was oh that's I
just could barely see his face in the movie that is him so Krampage
pretty good so why okay I made a note because I didn't understand what the why
the dad was trying to slip something into his daughter's drink I was like
what the fuck is going on here same medication yeah I didn't know that sleep
I didn't know he worked at the hospital until the reveal later from the dudes
yeah but I didn't know at the time and then that just didn't it was like some
poor editing you thought Austin was in it for me yeah wait I put the it's the
kid from girl next door if you guys remember that movie the one about the
porn star that moves next door to a high school kid and they him and his buddies
decide to using her and other porn stars her friends make a sex ed tape for like
schools to watch because they're like the ones that they watch were boring and so
it's a very funny movie one of my top like teen comedies what happens in the
end she turns out to not be a porn star but she was oh she retired she retired
though and she gets with the guy but the best part I guess the best part of the
end though is the guy from this movie ends up being a fucking total badass
movie producer guy he's like he comes out on stage he's like yeah you know
fuck you I did I did exactly what I was gonna I said I was gonna do we're super
fucking rich now suck my dick or whatever like leaves or whatever like
everyone cheers he's the awesome speech he's kind of cool this he's the one that
I think his name's Linderman he has a crush on Laurie and he's nerdy but I
like his I like the way he also in the Star Wars one where they take the road
trip for episode oh no you're absolutely right he was in um oh my goodness it's
the I know exactly it's there's it's a movie where him and his he's someone is
dying one of their friends is dying and this was a true story right before a new
Phantom Menace came out and oh they go on a road trip fanboys fanboys and so
they they go on a road trip to try to go to Skywalker farm to see if they could
watch like break in and watch a copy before their friend dies which Mike if
if you needed us to drive to any studio break in so that you can watch the next
man thing man thing thank you Austin I was drawing a blank if you need to watch
man thing too I will break into any office to help you do that we'll do
fanboys to the fans
um that'll be the end of this movie maybe miss man thing one yeah so uh so
it's a kid from girl next door got your nose he rips her nose he rips off
Kelly's Roland's nose I think her name is her name is Kia I know that because
it's a car brand and it's a weird name for the chick but anyway he rips her
nose off in the waiting room and nothing happens in real life he doesn't have the
powers they're weak he's still weak so that's what it was
scene though got your nose yeah that was funny bitch bitch so they so Krampus
his brother before so they've been in the insane asylum for four years prior
to that Krampus his brother killed himself and he killed himself because of
Freddie so they are in Krampus his brother's van it's been four years since
they've been locked up how is that van still running still not sold it's still
on the property how does he have the keys how does it have fuel inside of it
and where'd they get money to put fuel in I know how it's a fucking move nope
Mike that is no longer allowed as a counter argument to any of my valid
points if I bring up a valid point where'd they get the van you can't just
it's a movie me because there I need answers you can't be a lazy filmmaker
anymore and he's on your fucking ass all right they had to take it back from the
homeless guy that was living in it down by the lake I mean I didn't I missed that
part down by the river down by the river by saying late I said like just cuz a
crystal lake oh crystal lake that's yeah so it's the who's that uh Chris Farley
yeah I always get him and John Candy mixed up like that's a similar character
yeah so then we go to the corn rave in the cornfield which is fucking awesome I
would totally love to go to that corn rave and we meet the jock the one that
forces beer down Linderman's throat he's a chubby guy he's got curly long hair do
you know who I'm talking about does that ring the bell he dies later with his
friend he has like a lot of screen time for just someone that ends up dying that
actor in this movie there is a is a mean job
don't you tell us what else he's in no no no one thing particular Mike I swear
to God I'm not afraid of physical violence you're near death I will take
my chances I'm a robust young man full of life I will smack okay so this this
guy plays the I'm probably the most opposite character you could think of in
Eureka so in Eureka the TV show he plays the gay diner chef owner and since in
Eureka everything is science based or whatever he's always coming up with like
insane concoctions first one to do foam yeah he would have been the first one
fob like he's watching he would have MasterChef on the back on the like on
the screen the same way we watch oh god what's a like a bad stupid people show
that you would I don't even think it's the same way we watch master no I watch
MasterChef thinking holy shit that looks amazing I wish I could do something like
that he would watch MasterChef going like that's some boring ass shit like he
just comes it's anyway but he's so like a feminine in the role like the way he
carries himself it's like very and then I watch and then I see this and he's
supposed to be mean jock guy and I just couldn't buy it that was the most that
took me out of the movie more than anything else anything else I was
following on but anyway did you skip creepy little Alice girl who the creepy
little girl with no eyes I don't like the only thing that really
out this movie you know what I should do to write much about the dream sequences
because for the most part I don't care until the injuries happen in real life
like Freddy I don't care what he's doing in dream world of people because it's
it's just a dream until he affects it real life so I don't like when she got
her nose ripped off and nothing happened I was like oh I was just a waste of
fucking time Freddy like you scared her and I know that's part of building up his
power or whatever but did you also skip the other guy from the that was over
there that night his dad dying and him dying wait which guys the the guy that
came over like the night that the friend was trying to Kia was trying to hook her
other friend up with when he sit on the porch with his dad yeah no that's I'm so
sorry on off screen but we see the head fall off three out of ten and then just
the blood two out of ten thank you it's the dad gets his head cut off next to
the boy and then he goes and then we just see blood splatter now the reason
skipped we skipped the the intro like after he tells like Freddy's mom he's
tricking him with his mom or how Freddy just explains like oh don't don't fear me
and that's a real bitch and then it goes it shows you the new line cinema logo
and it just shows a bunch of flesh being sliced up was yeah that was pretty cool
I'd like that that was cool I feel like that Chris Farley thing that was pretty
that was cool remember remember when you were in pretty versus Jason that was
cool no I made fun of myself oh okay we're like member berries is that what
you're yeah pretty much got it the corn rave is the only thing I remember about
this movie like I've seen it before and this it's I only remember them having a
corn mave or corn rave why is Jason improvising with his weapons now he
literally just like pulls the thing out to then start fucking around with it
he's had a machete it's his whole thing he likes his machete he still has it
later on he throws it at someone but why would he why pick up new weapons is he
creative with his kills have fun is he having fun well I think he's I think
what he's trying to do though is he's trying to make it look like a Freddy
kill at least the first like couple deaths seem like like that's the whole
stabbing in the bed the bed folding in half thing that was kind of like a
Freddy kill you're saying that Jason is clever enough to realize that Freddy
exists in the dream world are our Freddy is controlling James yeah Freddy Freddy
used his mom to like trolling so he's like okay I gotta still he's like you
gotta step things gotta step things up this time bitch no okay I completely
kind of forgot about that thing where he's manipulating Jason so he's
manipulating Jason that's why Jason's doing Freddy kills to increase that the
fear that Freddy's around so that Freddy gets his power yeah got it I there's a
few dumbass lines though in this movie where they're just like well there's two
killers like like they point out well there's two of them the main girl
fucking whispers everything she says I wanted her to die more than my favorite
character was the stoner character he's oh yeah he smokes weed with the the the
Freddy monster yeah that was pissed that was I also like the end I like the Kelly
Rowlands character makes up with Linderman she sees that she's been a
little bit too mean and they're at the corner she's like come on let's go dance
like she sees that Laurie and her ex are kind of hugging or whatever and so she
like sees that shows some sympathy that brought her back to me like I was
against her character in the beginning because she totally was trying to push
something on her friend that she wasn't ready for which is that typical high
school behavior and you shouldn't do that don't peer pressure people let them
explore their high school high schoolers are not listening to the show they're
not I hope not but why the fuck did she break up the yeah why did she then after
dancing for five minutes this felt like the most movies got a movie I've ever
seen which is the dude is talking to Laurie and he's explaining everything
like here listen Laurie shit I need to explain some things to you and he's been
there for about 30 seconds and Kelly Rowland walks off with Linderman and
then she immediately goes come on enough with this talk bullshit let's dance
literally forbade him what she says to this dude and I'm like no let them talk
they haven't seen each other for years she's not interested and so they dance
and that's I just so I lost lost her again but so I'm really on the fence
about Kelly Rollins okay let's go dance then we get then we get a drunk girl and
drunk girl is like I guess asleep like I don't understand how is Freddy when
you're when you're almost near sleep if he can anyway she passes out she starts
getting I said I know this girl's getting date raped and all but on paper
Jason cock blocked that guy when he decided to kill them both well I'm not
saying he should have everything he everything blocks them one of those
situations where it's like well that was good and bad I guess those both yes like
the guy should have not done that like she can't feel about this whole boot
she didn't get raped but she got murdered so he prevented a rape thank
God that would be horrible he also kill clock blocks Freddy because Freddy's
about to get the kill and then blood hits him in the face which I love that
scene and then so that was okay so that was death number five she gets she dies
drunk while being raped five out of ten then we get death number six he gets
flung across time and space from from Freddy eight out of ten death number
seven he just head twists a guy well getting his tickets oh yeah this buddy's
like goddamn his head twist while insulting a dude who did nothing to you
they're just standing there and just fuck you man or whatever five out of ten
death number eight lights Jason on fire makes it back to the party flying
machete on fire through the chest nine out of ten what was flammable on that
machete fine eight out of ten thank you Austin what is that hockey mask made out
of well from the if you I don't even know they just don't make them like that
nowadays no they don't but it's made out of fucking ivory or some shit
death number nine Jason random partygoer stupid early 2000 hats simple slash one
out of ten death number ten random partygoer no hat one out of ten simple
slash death 11 random partygoer splashes beer on Jason beer slash death because
it kind of cuts through the things three out of ten death number 12 random
partygoer slash it's a just a girl one out of ten death 13 random partygoer
slash it's a boy with a beanie one out of ten death 14 random partygoer slash
off-screen zero out of ten worst kill of the movie just just see some blood that's
it is that the one where he's like you killed my brother no he gets killed no
this is literally a just as Jason's kind of walking through the party he just
slashes someone near him that person dies that was death fit for there like
a part where he's just hacking it like just that was that was 10 11 12 that
was 9 through 14 that goalie was pissed about something that was funny who is
that who is that guy that stoner guy just randomly joins the group which I
kind of like I thought about it's like yeah I guess he just jumped in the
random van that everyone was running because he wasn't anybody prior to that
I think he was Linderman's friend in like an earlier scene like you just
vaguely see him okay yeah death 15 it's Krampus's character gets burned alive in
front of his friends and writes Freddy's back on his actual back eight out of
ten is he the the veins the veins guys brother was I think he was brother yeah
so they kind of brought a reference to that back because they when he first he
falls asleep and then his veins come out of his legs that was a rough that was a
rough kill that was rough to watch it was there any there was a tree scene was I
know I'm getting a little head but there was a tree scene right with Jason gets a
kill with the tree throw somebody at a tree yes stab someone through it through
a tree yeah so if if fear is Freddy's buff then trees are Jason's buff yeah and
then it's trees is his buff waters his weakness fires the weakness and fears a
buff yeah which drugs apparently he's he's he's immune to dying but if you
inject him with some tranks I mean the people at that party could have just
like held him down and just made him drink he's never had a beer in his life
you just be drunk Jason I think Jason's the easiest one of the easiest monsters
to take care of if you just get an overwhelming force of people to pin him
down you take away his weapons you hold them down and then you just like you
shackle them to a wall and then you just put a good IV in him with just an
unlimited supply of drink like tranquilizer and you just keep them there
forever and you cryogenically freeze that's what they were that's what they
were gonna do with Jason X but apparently the end of the movie before
Jason X he'd like it's like the end of the movie he walks out and there's just
30 cops outside and they just blow it they just shoot the fuck out of them and
then they decide that they can't we don't know how to kill this guy we tried
hanging on we tried electrocuting again we tried everything firing squad
nothing worked so we're just gonna freeze him yeah I mean freeze is the
good but the problem is is that when they freeze them they keep them on the
planet you put them in a rocket you aim them towards the Sun and you forget
about it because even and you put them on a slow rocket towards the Sun that's
the thing a lot of people they want to get them to the Sun as quick as possible
but no you want to have like a 30 year mission that way you got at least 30
years of peace or something inevitably goes wrong and shoots him back or
whatever in in space no one can hear you that's great so one died by water the
other by fire how can we use that I'm like that bitch is high the way she says
that she's like she like litters she's like knocked out she goes one died by
water and one but died by fire how can we use that Pokemon sounds like a fucking
I thought death 16 security guard squished by door off screen four out of
ten was he a nice guy like Al and violent night I yeah he seemed like a
decent guy well no he worked for the he worked for a hospital that oh yeah not a
good well no but the hospital they were doing no even if he did I think they
were doing good work whatever that hospitals up to fuck yeah do Freddy's
an actual paranormal supernatural fucking nightmare entity that can
absolutely wreck a town so what if we got to take 20 kids and put them away
that's it they're living give me a hair mental non-fda approved drugs to stop
them you know still no sill and yeah I agree Mike it's a waste of money it's
easier to invest in bullets but the thing is that their children and they
deserve to live like I get it I just I get it it's expensive but the thing is I
think if you can't kill them you have to that's the only other option the only
other option if you if you can't find a way to suppress their dreams to keep
Jason to keep Freddy dead then you have to fucking kill them and I'm okay with
either or to keep a supernatural threat from wrecking our existence do you think
if Freddy existed and all of us knew about it and we were the only ones that
knew about it and we knew that if it left this fucking room I would kill us
all hey chief I want to raise a bullet that's what I was gonna say I would rather
have a bullet though than then to be I'd say chief I want to fucking raise or I'm
gonna go to the news stations with all the reports and I'm gonna tell the whole
world ready you're talking about in the police station yeah if I worked at the
police station I would be you want me to keep the secret I need a fucking raise
or I'm just gonna go to the news station and everyone's gonna know about Freddie
and be he's gonna become God basically let me think about this why don't you go
on your patrol hey listen Bill I'm gonna need you to kill this guy on this run he
knows about Freddie he's threatening to talk and then you go on your run and
then you get a call and you go to an alleyway and you get a bullet in the back
of your head but is it only kids that he so the police station knows the police
station knows that when they go to sleep especially when they know they know
Freddy's there one guy gets off shift and he's and then a cop dies all the
entire police force dies so that's okay that's a good point you know I've never
in any of these movies they ever address the fact is only people under
like 25 that he can affect well I think it's supposed to be like high school
kids only only high school kids bitch Jason's got a fetish for high school
kids but I don't think he kills just high school what if you got held back
well what what if you got held back a year I think Freddie's whole thing is he
can only I never understood what Freddie was a pedophile yeah I'm saying he seems
to only affect so I thought that too but I think it was you guys you guys told me
he was just kid murderer no I thought he was a pedophile well I don't know it's
it's it's they make it more explicit I think in the reboot but I never
understood the I guess the the what malevolent spirit okay how did Freddie
become Freddie I understand that he kidnapped molested raped killed a bunch
of it was just an innocent janitor no well that was before we saw this origin
but they burn him alive how is his punishment he's able to then kill
children in their dreams that doesn't make sense to me it's he died they got
him who the fuck like what God what devil like what the fuck spirit what
have a make sense but God but what how would that be allowed 80s 80s movies God
I don't know you know a little bit wishy-washy this movie this have God you
can't have you can't have one without the other the fact that they wanted to
end this movie where they both go to hell and they meet hell raiser that
sounds cool and all but what I think would have been better was if Michael
Myers shows up and since Michael no one knows what the fuck's up with him Freddie
can't affect him with his dreams maybe he's just a little bit stronger than
Jason so then Freddie and Jason have to work together to kill Michael Myers
isn't he human yeah but he doesn't he like burn to death in one of the movies
well no because I think here's the thing he gets his head chopped off you find
out later it was a cop and not him he gets riddled with bullets I think again
it's like you find out he maybe switched because with him it's the best thing
he's just like he's got overalls that are like you just rip off and put on
somebody and then just put his mask on him and then fuck off into the night
he's just a super strong dumb crazy guy I don't think he'd be able to fight
Jason or Freddie because like super natural although he is although he isn't
maybe maybe he kills hell raiser hell raiser because they wouldn't give the
rights so maybe they just get the rights for like five minutes and just kill how
ready he gets hell raiser powers I mean that could be cool if we had a hell
raiser Myers I never thought hell raiser was that cool it's the main three box
and I came all over your face Mike Mike Myers Jason and Freddie those are like
the top three it's gotta be Chuck yeah he's always been fun I feel like Chuckie
and Freddie would be buds yeah that similar sense of humor but they can talk
Michael Myers and Jason don't talk but actually now that we bring up Chuckie if
they existed in the same universe I would buy that because if the soul so
actually if you're just a bad person in these movies your soul is able to then
continue to do evil which means there has to be an inverse of that there has
to be like good people souls becoming good things then right there's a whole
thing they haven't done yet that they could do yeah well then you get battles
between good and evil which might be cool we had an anti Freddie ash ash
versus Freddie Jason and my protected children their whole life and then they
die great now that's a good idea and it's it's like hey bitch it's like I
don't even know what the opposite of Freddie would say so we get a penis
caterpillar introduction it's a little penis caterpillar with Freddie's face on
it we get the rolls around it infests or it goes inside of the hippie dude
smokes a little weed smokes a little weed with them which I love death 17 we
get the cop from that wasn't from the wrestling movie we watched no no it's
the cop from American Outlaws he's he stars in that place man he's been in a
lot of things but that guy movie scary movie yeah he's just a he's a fun actor
but the cop that was trying to help them he gets fucking he gets his where was it
like he gets electrocuted and then just smashed into a computer repeatedly eight
out of ten free bird that was his name he gets possessed by Freddie trying to
Rufy Jason oh yeah cuz him possessed by Freddie Rufy Jason with the things
behind him and they're running behind they're like come on come on let's go
he's like I got this bitch or whatever I love that I love it and I was like cool
and then now he's in physical form and the death 18 number 18 free bird possessed
cut in half by Jason nine out of ten very good we get pin Paul pinball Jason
inside the dream sequence fight god and they put the little sound effects in
there the stupidest I'm like okay and then Jason's afraid of water since
fucking when oh dude that dream sequence like where Jason little kid Jason
he jams and his finger butter knife in his brain oh yeah keep putting Jason in
water though I can see why he'd be scared of water except here's the thing
if we go to just yesterday when we were talking about in our episode about Friday
the 13th my Jason or my movie that I watched where he takes Manhattan he just
straight-up comes from the water he perfectly just swims up he's in the boat
he's in a boat and water several times throughout that always resurrected from
the water I understand but he's always all swims around in the water yeah what I thought was
silly was that it was a stream of water coming down and literally the next scene
is him carrying a body through a march he's walking through water yeah like he
doesn't like water above Jason X he's frozen he gets waking up he's covered
in water yeah maybe he didn't realize that ice was water it's like this is the
ultimate drowning would be to freeze in a block ice I guess but yeah so that was
silly why did Lori say now I lay me down to sleep right before she went to go
fight nightmare going to the nightmare that was so stupid she literally she's
laying down and she goes now I lay me down to sleep and I'm like it's a prayer
I know that I just think it's one of the silliest things to say in a horror movie
in the middle of all this fucking action death number 19 we get Linderman
unfortunately and he's yeeted into a piece of rebar and then he nobly tells
Kia to leave him and get safety seven out of ten very nice and then whoa whoa
whoa Freddie stops pursuing Blake and Lori dark meat he sees and then she goes
what kind of faggot wears a Christmas sweater runs around and I'm like whoa
that's one minute of real problematic fucking movie right there but what's
with the butter knives yeah is Freddie racist kind of feels like he is it's
just an extra layer of shit that they like because he says dark well obviously
who's say that obviously I knew they have to make Jason sort of the good guy
that you root for because Freddie's just a giant piece of shit that's true so
adding to it maybe not racist but bigoted for sure he's bigoted yeah so
no he molests every color apparently yeah yeah yeah he's just a piece of shit
and it's not gonna watch cuties after this bitch so then we get death number
20 which is the last death which is Kia Kelly Rollins character she gets killed
after doing an incredibly bad improv set with Freddie that was amazing roasting
just the worst roasting I've ever heard in my life followed by Freddie just kind
of looking at her and looking behind her and she oh and she gets fucking just
cut in half is she the reason why he changed to the green hat in all he's like
this trick roasted me update my style it's 10 best kill in the fucking movie
is just a bad improv set from Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child what would you
do better he sees he sees you what are you roast how are you roasting him what
is what's your improv set your face looks like a nut sack if we went into my
dreams right now you'd have to deal with a lot you'd have to do with a lot of
shit Freddie you want to come after me bro bring it on I'm ready to sleep
you're gonna have a wet dream you want to be covered in jizz Freddie you want
to be covered in jizz I'll be your penis monster I'll be the penis caterpillar
that's gonna go inside of you buddy and you know what let's go to sleep right
now come here hold my hand Freddie and then we'd go to sleep and I'd rape the
shit out of him for as long as I could Austin I would turn his nut sack face
into a fucking fleshlight and I would just beat off into his fucking skull is
what I'm telling him about Buffy oh yeah Freddie would kill himself by the end
there's a scene in fucking season six it might be or season five of Angel
yeah so that's what happened if you want if you must know I think I think now we
get the big Freddie versus Jason fight and there's a torpedo scene which I
loved where he's cutting off the things he's launching that's just a cool
fucking man the torpedoes but it's funniest thing in this whole movie best
best line in his but the dodging was so cool as Jason's walking and then when he
gets hits a little goofy but it's funny and then I put Freddie wins well then
the rebarb we mean it drops all the rebarb oh yeah yeah yeah Freddie wins
Jason wins Laurie wins Jason wins Laurie wins Freddie loses they walk through CGI
flames on the pier just a couple they just literally just walk through some
fire because the editors of this movie are fucking lazy and then there's the
they're doing this for ten years this movie took like 15 years to make I
didn't know that it's bad and then lol at the last shot which was a Freddie
winking so they both are gonna live to another day I give this movie a C three
out of five where's the Chucky cut that's my review what'd you guys think
I gave it I just gave it a C plus just because it was just a cheesy like it's
a nice bet like if Jason X is a 10 this is right there in like a five so I'll
give it a I give it a three and a half butter knives okay I and I don't know if
this is it's one of the problems with this movie I'm not a hundred percent sure
if I didn't like it because I like parts of it but I think maybe
I'm just burned out because we've watched 47 horror movies in the last two weeks
or what but so much of it was so stupid so much of the CGI was very bad but you
like the idea of these two IPs together though yeah I like the idea I like the
idea I like part of the movie but it had so many execution problems that it kind
of took me out of it at several points they tried to ride the look it's Freddy
and Jason together dream the dream sequences in other Freddy movies look
way more real a lot of more production value in those two yeah this one I mean
what the like you said the ping pong around it was just so such bad CGI it's
so but it but once again I can't say I didn't like the movie when I said through
it it was just kind of like a lot of bad things in it but still kind of enjoyable
so I said C- or D- C- D plus kind of on the on the cusp right in there though
it's it's not great but not bad it's definitely a it's a fun it's a fun movie
I mean you're not going into expecting Oscar worthy performances or anything
like that just go in like have a good time enjoy the movie it's silly just
don't take it seriously it's not scary you know not scary no so but I mean I
still wouldn't show it to my children because it is gory but I found it a lot
didn't you find it a lot like watching invincible or something like it's the
book even the blood it is so fake looking yeah yeah it's just not none of
it is scary it's campy hold on campy and fun you're saying that the blood and
invincible is fake looking what's a cartoon well no hold on I have an issue
with that because you said that no no in the context of what it is it's not it's
it is realistic looking if you believe that everything you're looking at in
invincible is realistic looking to the universe of invincible which it is
because that's how it's drawn then the blood and gore is absolutely on par and
realistic looking to it so it's not like they're to them it might be but it's not
to me I'm the one watching it from outside that here's the difference
here's the difference when you watch a movie like this you're seeing real
actors something that can't be I mean they're not CGI people they're really
running around so when they add a stroke of CGI blood you're adding an extra
you're adding an outside element to something real which takes you out of
the the frame so I could see watching a real-life movie and seeing CGI graphics
and it being shitty but you can't watch a cartoon or an anime and when they do
something fantastical within the confines of the cartoon that they've set
up they're allowed to because it's as realistic as anything else they're not
they're not allowed to I'm just saying it's like like with my children my
children I'd be much more liable to let them want and I'm not talking about kids
your age but my 12 year old yeah to watch invincible then I would a
realistic movie in their world because they can separate the worlds themselves
what about Freddie versus would you let your your kid watch Freddie versus Jason
or the train scene the last episode of invincible season one where the train
scene on the first episode of invincible season yeah I would like 12 or 13 year
old watch either one of them because they know the difference in reality and
fiction however when they're watching a movie like let me think of something a
die-hard is a good example everything in there feels real it feels real world
yeah this stuff doesn't feel real world but that's also because die-hard used
practical effects in a way that they're making my point no I'm not I'm making my
point I'm saying like I'm saying that just in the world yes they're not in
that you're saying that the blood and gore in invincible is not realistic I'm
saying it is I'm saying that when a character rips a human being in half it
might be an excessive amount of blood and gore whatever but no more than any
other movie that's trying to be a realistic depiction of gore and stuff so
it's like the same amount of gore that you would get in a saw movie you know
you could get in a cartoon and have it be just as realistic it's just cartoon
you just have to it's just the amount of suspension of human brain in general
not yours because your brains not normal in case you haven't noticed that's not
nice to say human brain in general can separate reality from fiction better
when it's a cartoon than when it's real life I need a list you think there is a
difference between reality and fiction I think that if we are in a simulation
we're all just it's one layer fudge simulation after another honestly I need
a list of things you guys disagree on this might be a podcast all on its own
just every episode is just you guys arguing your opposite points of each
other it could be it's just hey there's two there's different sides to every
single don't think we're in a simulation yeah that's that might be the whole
difference though because you think it's just layer upon layer of a simulation
and I think it's one looks like real world and one looks like not real world
the more I play with AI the more I feel like a god of a digital universe and the
more realistic AI gets and the closer it gets to looking like humans the more I
believe that absolutely we could just be a variant of that and what's the stop
there's just one variant above that and a variant above that we're just I mean
what how is us being made of some sort of physical pixels or at least from our
perspective physical pixels then any other fucking like any other thing that
anyone's ever said that's ever made any sense like people say that a god made
us people said that you know a big bang made us people say that you know like I
don't think any of that makes as much sense as we're just a really good
computer program and that's why there's you know like I think it's just set I
think someone's just playing SimCity and they put it on like make it so that
religions a thing let's see how that causes issues let's make countries a
thing let's make race a thing let's make gender identity a thing let's do all
these things to rile up the people to make the most interesting simulation to
watch because what happens to you when you watch like say a good magician what
happens in your brain what do you mean do you do does your brain go to that
he's really doing magic then but never never try to figure it out I always and
I usually I'm pretty good at it I think there's one magician I saw Shin Lim or
whatever his name was from America's Got Talent I went saw him in Vegas and he
did this trick that I saw like immediately from the get-go he was like
taking these photos he was flipping them around one at a one at a time but I'm
looking at him and they looked kind of like those what are those from mall rats
I'm looking for a sailboat what's the magic eye puzzles is after called so
that it's there they're like kind of these not magic I but there's an image
of something that's there's something hidden behind it and I would just see
these letters E P O and I'm like okay it's gonna spell hope or whatever and
I'm just okay just waiting you know and my point is though if it were civil that
that was exactly my point is that if it were a simulation they could treat no
because the simulation I think the simulation is so complex Mike that I am
having independent thoughts and all these things are just partisan I'm either
I don't think anyone's playing me I don't think I'm a playable character this is
Neo what are you Neo no I'm not Neo I'm not aware of I don't even think being
aware of the simulation does anything it's like if my sims knew that they were
sims I don't think it would change the fact that I could still tell them to go
do things or that they still that they would still have to exist in their sims
world like I don't think that they can't break out by you even if how can my
sims get out of their world how can any video game character get out they can't
they're they're stuck in that context we're stuck in this three-dimensional
context here if you've ever seen the world the movie flatland or flat world I
think it's called but it's a super interesting movie where the entire
thing is a 2d world where there's circles squares triangles and they have
a hierarchy just depending on how many sides you have and at some point a
circle who doesn't have any sides and therefore is low sausage party it's
wait no how's that sausage party wait hold on you're breaking my thought now
I'm thinking about sausage utopia that stupid show no in this one a two
dimensional circle who's low on the on the totem pole he meets a three
dimensional being and the three dimensional being brings him up and
shows him that his world is just a two dimensional plane and the three
dimensional being is arrogance that there's no fourth dimension he's like
well I'm have to be the top like I'm the third dimension I see you I'm your I'm
superior to you guys because I can see whatever that's right and so how so a
lot of people I think Christians I think a lot of people they think that there's
a fourth dimensional being that is keeping an eye on us and if that's true
it's only because we're a simulation and that fourth dimension is whatever
screen quote unquote is the barrier of somebody to watch but I don't think that
if somebody has the ability to create a simulation this complex I think that
they've got free roam camera and they're able to zoom in so they maybe do have
omnipresence because they're able to see anything and everything all at once on
the then above them is another one and above them is another one and above
them is maybe I mean that's what that argument would be interdimensional
forever yeah and maybe that's what multiverse is it's just it's not a
multiverse could be different different seeds in someone's Minecraft is a
multiverse technically if you just think about your Minecraft server you think
oh I've got about 20 worlds that I work on simultaneously there's different sheep
that exist in those different ones that are living their very basic binary coded
lives but however how we could be the same thing so no I do I do think I do
think cartoon blood is realistic I think is that's where we're going from there
so that was a C- for me holy shit yeah I give Freddy versus Jason a C C okay
thanks Brendan 2.5 on the video this and I'm just like King Freddy's it's just
fast-forwarded at four times we just broke a lot of people's brains no I did
2.5 out of 5 we winking Freddy's 2.5 nice what was your score again C plus C plus
okay so C plus a C minus a C I mean this is a solid a C then we have a plus and a
minus cancel each other out in two C's perfect so yeah Freddy versus Jason C
absolutely a C movie it's I mean but again if you haven't listened to our
podcast before which is very possible our scales a little different we go from
B to F and then we have a special place in hell where I think Freddy found out
about Jason and that's called a W and we've all we've reserved that for the
very worst of movies so after every review we like to do a little bit of
believe it or not we like to talk about something other than the movie you mean
like monsters ink one and two and trains that was the worst decision like I said
Austin has a volatile personality pulling a gun on Mike for his choice of
movie the AI that we we if people at home we we found an AI that listens to
our podcast and has made not only weird little reviews with people talking about
our shit but some of the shit that our last episode when Austin pulled a gun
out on Mike and threatened him because not give the movie a scene what was the
movie singular singularity to not give singularity a bad grade or a good grade
the fucking didn't give it a bad grade I was gonna kill myself oh there was but
it's like Austin has a volatile personality by pulling a gun out on my
Andy seems to go it's real fucked up but yeah right but we like to do a thing
called recreational recommendations
all right so I probably just gonna talk about Funko again if we're being honest
I am oh I am gonna go see a movie today I'm gonna see either Transformers one
oh oh oh you know spot just opened up on that show and do you want to come the
one you were just grilling me about oh I'm gonna go see Transformers can't
wait to go see it tomorrow the movie I have a question you don't know which
movie you're going to see it right now not at this you told us your plans for
later yeah are you gonna watch both trailers and record two things and then
so listen up what do you people at home pay attention because this will actually
maybe be out before you listen to this so look back for the very first episode
of Andy watches a trailer and then tries to guess what the movies about and then
watches the movie and it comes back and gives himself a score and how realistic
or how accurate he was the series what I think title yeah no it's not that's
gonna be it now you know how I am now that I've said it I'm gonna I'm gonna
that's gonna be it's gonna be the fucking the the fried rice logo with
just a wall of text I'll try to find something better if you guys come up
with something like Star Wars the Star Wars scroll yeah one of you guys came up
with rehash who was that was that you breaded that was good that was a solid
choice that is a great idea though for the opening of that pod Star Wars
scroll explaining explain rehash or his is that one he just said so that whole
text he just said in a scroll at the beginning while you're well figure it
out giving you more work yeah we'll figure it out uh you keep creating I
know yeah you got you just like a glutton for pain or work I guess it is
I guess but keep an eye out for that I'm gonna watch a trailer for one of these
movies tonight I'm gonna record my guess as to what's gonna happen I'm gonna try
to be as accurate as humanly possible and then I'm gonna watch the movie I'm
gonna come back and I'm gonna give myself a grade and a scale of 100 as to
how percent wise as to how close I got because I feel like if when I was
talking to my friend Tomas and we were talking about Kong versus the Kong and
Godzilla skull versus Skull Island Hollow Earth part four or whatever the
fuck the newest one I would before I saw the movie I swear I already did because
I had watched the trailer so I was telling I was like this is the one with
they find a baby Kong they go in a hollow earth they fight some other
monkeys the humans get involved and my friends like well yeah but I know you
didn't watch it I was like how do you know these like it came out today I know
you didn't go and I was like well okay I thought I saw it months ago it knows
that it was just the trailer and I was pretty close if it's always like that
right so but if you don't know which movie you're going to see how are you
gonna do at some point I will like some point I'm gonna know where I'm gonna go
see it's just at this moment it's it's in the air so okay that's my rec is go
listen to one of our episodes check out what's in a book club some people really
like it over there I've gotten comments so la de da all right Austin you got
anything for rec yeah actually it's this it's a 10 episode podcast called number
one dad and Gary Veeder really good comedian when he was a kid his dad was a
massive con artist in New York so he would go to Madison Square Garden with
his son tell his son Gary to pretend to be sports illustrated kids reporter and
his dad would pretend to be a photographer so they would just get into
Madison Square Garden for free and have access to the locker rooms and he got to
interview Michael Jordan at the height of his fame Nancy Kerrigan right it's it
is but also he was such a scam artist that it also like destroyed his family
and he hasn't talked to his dad in like 25 years and it's 10 episodes they're
about like 20 minutes long and there's like a lot of ads and stuff so maybe
it's like 15 minutes long each episode but each episode he's tracking down his
dad and he's getting closer and closer and we're like revealing other stories
like his dad just hung out in courtrooms and figured out that like if you just
delay things and push him back you can win pretty much any case and drop right
it's so he was so he was a he was installing phone booths and pretending
to be AT&T and AT&T tried to sue him and he beat AT&T in court which is like the
biggest corporation ever at that time it's called number one dad with Gary
Veeder so I'm gonna check that out he like he talks to his wife eaters he that
that little dude that goes to rummage sales but he goes to yard sales and
I got just Gary V so okay yeah Gary Veeder is just a really good comedian
of all the things he works with Sam Rill a lot he's a New York guy okay but it's
crazy cuz he goes to his mom because he wants to get him for more information
and he's like recording his mom doesn't know he's like so I sold the podcast and
I need some I need to talk to you about dad and you just hear her drop her fork
like it's super dramatic it's crazy for just all the stuff and I don't want to
give anything away but uh it's it's it's so it's funny the whole time too he's
talking to Sam Rill he's like well what happens if you find him he's like we're
gonna get dinner or something and he's like you're just gonna be like yeah you
ruined my family's fucking life how's your pastrami
it's good yeah sounds great I'll probably check it out yeah that's 20
minute episodes digestible ten minute episodes will you do twice I think like
the last two were like maybe 45 to an hour like the finale but yeah it's a
bunch of it's it's a nice little 15 minutes sandwich between a bunch of ads
now when you say ads you say like YouTube ads or like they have ads it's
like in the episode like I listen to it on Spotify so like the first like but
but you can easily it'll do like a previously on number one dad so you'll
you got a 30-second skip button yeah exactly yeah I changed mine to 15 it's
it's maybe sometimes 10 just because you have a little bit more control why my
forward set to 30 in my backwards set to 15 so I go 30 30 if I go to party
you both ways also a announcement to make I am not going I'm gonna have to
withdraw from being a regular on the show going forward it's just too much
it's too many miles on my car it's an entire Saturday I burn however I'm still
gonna do the socials and I'm also and whenever we have a show in Bullhead on a
Saturday I will come early and do the podcast for those days what about zoom
zoom I'll do zoom for like six feet under and stuff I don't want to zoom in
on every fucking podcast we could maybe figure out that way it's the it's the
thing that I'm burning an entire Saturday and and it's a lot of gas it's
a lot of gas a lot of time I have to work extra days don't don't give me shit
I've been in for like 50 episodes I've been here he sacrificed a lot well I'm
still gonna run the socials I'll still do six feet under with you and whenever
we have a show on a Saturday out here and I'm gonna be at it anyways I'll come
early and do the podcast well that's almost half of them you almost always
almost half of our Saturday's happy right like this one has a show that's
why I'm here saying that today I'm just making the announcement today so like
probably next week won't be here but whenever there's a show sprinkled in on
a Saturday I'm gonna come through that you're here right after years of
practicing I know how to contain my rage when I need to so you just all it means
is you have to record video for the podcast yourself put your phone put your
phone on your new little ring light over there we're gonna take a commercial
break guys what any Christ no I will do what I always do and I won't go abuse
Randy in the other room hopefully there's a lot of shows out here so you
end up out here a lot yeah I'm not going away forever it's not it's not like Zach
where he's like I'm gonna I'm leaving you guys and then he's back the next
episode you know all of your friends and all your shits out here why don't you
just move back out here that's expensive it's expensive to move Andy it is but
it's cheaper to get your heels nice and dug in over here well Andy this might be
a bad time
my Andy Mike's look yeah Austin leaves Mike dies and then it's just
also I never get to do anything on the weekends anymore ever it's this podcast
Saturday wake up at 6 drive here get home at 9 maybe have some time to do
something for like an hour so I need to free up some more time all right well
this is devastating no you just got a record video for the podcast yourself
now because I gotta take that my camera with me but this sucks well Brandon did
you ever wreck I guess my recommendation is doing this off-camera
I just know the fans are devastated but please don't stop watching and I know
we're probably gonna get some comments right off that I'm not gonna watch this
without Austin awesome awesome so great half of this is bullshit cuz you're
gonna be here half the time yeah I'm gonna be here less it's just a little
less because you're gonna be I need a few free hey I know we could do we could
skip those weeks and do two episodes oh god but anyway we talk about that stuff
later that's yeah but listen I also don't have one this week because of
time constraints because there's this guy that keeps having us watch like I
don't know three movies a week this is this isn't the time to grieve your
grieve your complaints I'm going through a lot you don't have a wreck great
Brandon no I have a wreck but my wreck is very simple because of time
constraints I didn't want anything else this week except things I had to for the
show so my wreck is that last night we had to go to Kingman for a volleyball
game which they lost so badly but anyway they're losing like games like 25 to 2
it's really sad listen go to Chipotle we don't have a Chipotle I've never been to
a Chipotle ever oh never I've been eating it every day for the past three
weeks now see why the freaking brisket they have is unbelievable get the
rewards up so we don't have a Chipotle now I know I had to stop on the way here
to shit yeah it's a lot of Chipotle but the brisket yeah it's it's worth driving
to Kingman to get okay I got to try their brisket though I get the same exact
thing if you're driving to Kingman Chipotle is just a chain though like they
have that really good barbecue place they have a great brisket too though no
it's not the same it's different it's Mexican this is a limited time and fresh
they make it in small batches every day is it more like a barbacoa no it's just
it's like a barbecue taste it's also sweet yeah it's and it's really fresh
every time because they make it in like little batches all the rest that's what
we're amazed by it's how honestly I get it's the best fast food restaurant I've
ever I get yeah also every fucking time I go there there's some asshole ordering
five different things and it takes forever and I know exactly I walk one
burrito brown beans black right or brown rice black beans steak hot guac lettuce
how could it take forever it's all right in front of you exactly news go that
ball I think you chose to like bowl it's some idiot that's like choices at the
beginning of a bowl and your meat and then everything else is just point it's
like it's like subway it's just that and I just said put everything on it the one
the staff the staff isn't always stellar but it's also the customer coming that
I am ordering five different things for my friends hold on let me see what you
want me you want you have cafe rios by where you are yeah we do we have a
couple of those I love cafe rio I've been to toilet pizza so is it did I do
something something I did nope nope because it does seem like he wasn't
also invited to the other show yeah that did seem personal now you're going to go
see a movie you didn't know that you didn't know that go I'm not in charge of
booking the show I got booked on the show ask Hank well I don't think Hank
liked me much not allowed in the chat either so no there's a chat they were
having oh yeah thanks for reminding me so I didn't like you just not having fun
anymore it's not that I need to make more money I need to work more I need to
free up Saturdays which we made money on this thing pay you get a get us raid
shadow legends we just need to be barely edgeable for monetization yeah right in
so my my rec rec might help you make your decision later but uh transformers
one I took it yeah we took kids I loved it I thought it was great it was funny I
mean I thought it was better than the last like two or three live-action
transformers movie oh yeah yeah I might go see all of it yeah my rec is a
suicide prevention hotline it's gonna Google type in I want to kill myself
it'll show you had you not told him at all before that I've not known cameras
just here so uh here what are we doing this is all no hey fuck it last time
ever Austin bitch feral don't even and it's Michael the truest and most loyal
friend I hope he lives a thousand years Larson and it's Brendan deserves his own
theme song
Shipley up to wherever he wants I'm Andy Rice I hope this is a simulation and I
could reset at some point and this has been the end of a fucking era goodbye
everyone go fuck yourself Austin bye