Shhhhhh...
That's so hard!
Oh my god!
Shhhhhh...
I hope everybody's ready to be scared!
Shhhhhh...
And welcome!
Welcome to...
To another frightening episode!
Ha ha!
Seventeen nights of Halloween!
Friedman Rice Podcast!
I'm your spooky host,
Andy Rice!
With me as always,
is Austin Looks Better
without a hockey mask on,
Barrel! Check me out at Shhhhhh...
Ha ha ha!
Shhhhhh...
With me as always,
is Michael
No Matter
How many times I've tried,
I can't kill him!
He just keeps coming back, sequel after sequel after sequel...
...Larsen!
Shhhhhh...
Chalios!
With me as always,
is uh...
Oh Jesus, what's the Jason theme?
Can you do it?
It's Brennan!
Shhhhhh...
Chalios!
Trying to give real final girl energy today!
Oh my God!
I'm high!
We just did a whole fucking thing before this!
Alright!
Shhhhhh...
This is the funniest, stupidest fucking bullshit!
Welcome everybody!
It's the Friday the 13th episode!
Let's give it a clap!
Is there actually a Friday the 13th this year?
Uh, yeah!
I think there was!
Ask a tattoo shop!
I think, no, literally this coming Friday!
It's gonna be Friday the 13th, yeah!
This coming up Friday!
So, yeah! Friday the 13th!
This one got a release on Friday the 13th?
On that day?
Oh shit! No!
It's September!
That's reserved for the other...
This has a very special time it's releasing!
Oh, I see what you're talking about!
No!
It's gonna, like, on the... I think on the 10th...
Let's just put it on Sunday the 13th!
Sunday the 13th!
It's close enough!
It's still 13th!
That's what I might call this, Friday the 13th, Sunday the 13th...
Sunday the 14th...
I don't know, 15th!
I'll do the math right!
So, if you're...
If you're familiar with the earlier episodes, maybe you're not familiar with the format of the show, but...
Really, we're just doing a silly Halloween shit!
In this situation, we picked Friday the 13th, we left it to...
Our own devices to find and watch whatever we could in the framework of Friday the 13th.
If there was a show, I would have allowed it.
If there was a stage play that you went and watched, I would have allowed it.
If you read a whole novel about it, I would have allowed it.
Video game, I would have allowed.
I think we all went with movies this time.
But...
The medium is open to talk about.
I don't know if I've stressed the rules at all until we just got to the end of this, but...
It doesn't matter.
You made it clear with Carrie Diaries.
Yeah, yeah.
It definitely made it clear with Carrie Diaries.
Well...
Yeah, you'll find that out, look for that later.
So...
Let's just get into it.
I...
We discussed earlier, well we just found out that...
None of us picked the same movie.
So...
We're going to go with the latest to...
Did we go earliest to latest last time?
I would be last then, I think, unless you did one...
Unless we go latest to earliest.
So let's do...
Okay, let's do that.
How about let's do who has the latest movie?
Mine was 2009.
So yours was the remake?
Mine was the remake, yeah.
Okay, and yours was?
I did number 6.
Alright, I did number 8.
I did Jason X.
Well actually, the remake, no.
Let's get to you last because it's the remake.
Let's talk about the other ones first.
It starts in the beginning, right?
Alright, so then let's go with...
I'm 8.
You're 6.
Let's go 6, we'll go backwards the other way.
Backwards?
You mean normal?
We're going to go forward.
Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh.
Shhh, shhh, shhh.
Alright, yeah.
So Friday the 13th's number 6 is Jason Lives.
So this one is after Jason has died.
And I think he died in 4.
He dies in all of them?
He gets unmasked in all of them.
Yeah, yeah.
This one he starts out, it starts out with Tommy,
who I guess was a kid in number 4,
played by Feldman, Corey Feldman.
Okay, oh god.
He's now grown up, it's not Corey Feldman anymore,
it's a different actor,
but he's like, I gotta go, I gotta take care of Jason.
His friend's like, he's already dead, dude, what do you mean?
No, we're going to the graveyard.
So they're going to the graveyard where Jason was buried.
They dig up Jason,
they open his coffin,
and he's basically like a juicy, decaying body.
And he's got mealworms and maggots all over him.
And Tommy has like gas.
Is there a gas can in this?
No, they brought the mask with them,
that they bury with them and burn with them.
What's the deal with the mask?
Did anyone watch any of the original shit?
He finds it, like originally he was just like,
had a fucked up face,
and he looked scary,
and then he kills somebody that had a hockey mask,
and he just decides to put it on.
That was in 3.
And I got a different mask story.
Okay.
So everyone gets a mask in a different way?
Yeah, sounds like it.
He doesn't get it until the third movie or something.
Because in 2, well 1 is his mom,
2 is him,
but he's wearing a bag over his head,
and then 3 he gets the mask.
And then from there on.
It just stayed right there.
So they dig up the body,
they open the casket,
and he's there.
And instead of just immediately setting him on fire,
Tommy goes and rips a pole off of the fence,
metal pole,
and it's already starting to storm.
And he goes and stabs Jason a few times,
and he's like yelling at him,
and then leaves him at stake,
and then he climbs out of the grave,
with a metal pole, a metal rod, and a lightning storm.
You see where this is going.
So he gets electrocuted,
and reanimated, and brought back to life.
And as he's basically like coming
and attacking Tommy,
well first he kills Tommy's friend,
the first kill, first death,
Jason punches through the guy's heart,
and pushes him into his empty casket,
and then the lid shuts.
That's Tommy's friend?
In front of Tommy, Tommy sees his happen.
He's like no!
And then he's like kind of running away,
and then he grabs the gasoline,
and pours it on Jason,
and he goes to light the matches,
and it starts to rain.
Tommy runs away, and gets away from Jason,
and Jason grabs his mask, puts his mask back on,
his rotting face,
and he's zombie Jason.
And then,
so like he's,
Tommy's going back to town,
and then you get a random couple,
camp counselors,
driving through the woods,
and they're on there like oh we're lost,
counselors can't get lost on their way to camp,
this is crazy.
And she stops the car all of a sudden,
and he's like why'd you stop?
And she's like well, I've seen enough horror movies
to know that a person in a mask is not good.
And Jason's just in the middle of the road
with the mask, with the metal rod,
and he's like well,
back up, like turn around.
And she goes to like turn around,
and then she kind of like almost goes off the road,
and he's like wait no we can't,
like let's just scare him.
So they decide to try to like run him off the road,
and it doesn't work, Jason just stands there,
and they slam on the brakes,
and then Jason just stabs the rod through the tire,
pops the tire, and she's like nope,
I'm backing this bitch up, and he's like no,
I'll get out, I got a gun.
So he grabs a little 22 revolver,
and gets out, and he's like go away,
and Jason's just staring at him menacingly,
and he's like I'll shoot you,
and as he's shooting him, Jason stabs him,
kills him, and then
the girl is like freaking out,
Jason stabs through the car,
misses the girl, she climbs out the side,
and ends up in like a ditch,
and she's just like freaking out,
and like sees Jason, and she closes her eyes,
and opens him, and he's gone, and it's like okay,
I guess she gets to live. Nope, Jason comes back,
and just stabs her through the head,
and that's second and third death.
Then the fourth death,
now they kind of flash forward a little bit,
Tommy's been arrested by the cop,
because the cop is like you're trying to scare everybody,
like we changed the name of the town from
Crystal Lake to, I forget what they changed it,
it's like Green Lake or something,
they changed it to a different name,
to try to forget the memory of Jason.
Well we're not Crystal Lake anymore,
we're Green Lake.
I would just call it like Misty Town,
or you know, like it's changed to anything.
It might not be Lake, it might be something else,
it could just be my brain associating weird,
got it.
But so, the cop arrests him,
arrests Tommy,
and Tommy's like no, Jason's alive,
we need to go get him,
and he's like no, you're bringing this shit in,
this is bullshit, you're staying in here.
And the cop's daughter is basically
all over,
she's one of the counselors, and she's all over,
Tommy, who's in jail,
and she's like oh he's a bad boy,
that's hot.
Cops like no, you get out of here,
leave that guy alone, he's crazy.
He was in a mental institution for years.
So the fourth death,
you get, it's now the next day,
and there's like these kind of like
tech company people walking around
playing paintball in the woods,
and they're like on teams,
and then
one of the guys gets killed by like the girl,
and he's all pissed off and brooding,
and he's just like slashing trees with a machete,
and just like bitching like I can't believe she got me,
like this is bullshit, blah blah blah,
and like he goes and reaches back,
and Jason like grabs his arm with the machete,
and like rips his arm off
while throwing him across,
and then he gets into a tree
that has a smiley face carved into it,
where his face hit, now the smiley face is red and bloody.
So that's the fourth.
Now he writes on the back,
now I have a machete.
I have a machete, and an arm,
because the arm's still attached to the machete.
Oh wow.
And then, uh,
extra reach.
Sort of, right, if you got the end of the arm.
Hit people from twice as long
of a way.
It would be silly, but it would work.
Then like a scene or two later,
you get deaths five, six, and seven.
All in one shot.
Three heads cut off at one time with just one swing.
Three more people playing paintball.
And then you get the last remaining guy
from their group,
who's like a really nerdy looking guy
with glasses, and he's like dropping his gun
and all fumbling around and everything.
He sees Jason after he killed them,
and he's like, oh, shoots him with the paintball gun,
does nothing,
and runs off, and then you kind of just assume
that he either made it or Jason got him.
You don't know what happened until later.
Uh...
Jason doesn't forget.
Look, there's one thing that I've noticed about Jason.
And this may be the first thing.
And it's...
Just...
But he, uh,
he, uh,
dude, he doesn't forget shit.
It's like he picks a target, and then just,
he's on that target until
they're dead.
So, then,
there's also a groundskeeper
character that they kind of introduce and go
back and forth from. Like, first he sees Jason's
grave dug up, and he's like drunk,
and he's like, I tend these grounds, I graduated
high school, I deserve this job, and he's like
an old man, and he's like, they ain't getting me,
and he buries, you know, covers the body
up again, covers the hole up, and he's like,
these kids ain't getting me, I don't know why they would dig him up.
And, uh,
so you get him walking
through the forest, drinking out of his bottle,
and just talking to his bottle of liquor, like,
oh, you're my, you're my darling,
like, you've been the best to me, like, but you're also gonna be
the death of me as he's finishing the bottle.
And he goes to throw the bottle behind him,
listen for the crash,
here's no crash, huh?
Turns and sees Jason with the bottle,
Jason breaks the bottle and stabs him in the
neck with the broken glass shards.
So he went back to his own grave site?
Yeah, like, well, cause he's still in the forest,
like, he's still in the forest surrounding
the camp.
So this is Rambo Jason.
Pretty much. He's out there.
Rambo Jason!
He's making his way to the camp, like,
so, he went further away,
the wrong way, and now he's making his way
back to the camp.
So he went back and killed
that, just that poor guy.
Another thing is, at least I get
why Freddie,
for instance,
kills, or goes after his victims,
children of the people that,
he's just a harmless groundskeeper.
Harmless, drunk groundskeeper,
littering in the forest.
So Jason's protecting the forest.
I loved all those kids.
But, uh,
but Jason, though,
I don't get it.
He, maybe, like, kill the ones that
let him drown. Fuck it. Yeah, okay.
He's an unstoppable evil force.
Yeah, he really is.
He's just evil. But in this one, he's a zombie.
Kind of.
Now you see that... Like he's undead.
He's been brought back from death. I'm confused.
He's always brought back from death.
I'm confused because... But this time he was, like,
decaying, and everything, like, they showed his face
and he's decaying, and he looks like zombified.
He died as a kid. That's the
canonical backstory, correct? Yeah.
He died as a kid. His mom got mad
and killed the teenagers that were responsible,
or killed some other teenagers,
which was mad or whatever. I haven't watched the first couple.
I haven't watched the second couple.
But then the second one is
him, the boy version of him, right?
With the bag over his head?
Or is it a man version of him?
Man version of him with the bag over his head.
So he didn't die?
So he survived the drowning?
He became, like, brain dead or something?
Just possessed by evil at the bottom of the lake?
They muddy it up. The movie's self-aware.
The movies are all self-aware.
But I'm having a hard time with this
because, like, did he survive
or didn't? Because you keep saying
this is the first undead Jason.
Either
he died as a kid and he's been
undead Jason the whole time. Well, because I can't remember
if Jason goes to hell as before
or after this one. But that's when they kind of
changed everything and Jason became, like,
an evil entity spirit that's like...
I think it all changed when he put the hockey
mask on in 3. So then that's
actually basically
the first Jason, as we all know him.
So then it took on its own, okay,
oh, fuck, that hockey mask was a good fucking idea.
Let's keep going.
I'll Wikipedia it later.
So
deaths
9 and 10
were a cut in another couple
that witnessed him kill the
groundskeeper and they're running
away and get on like a little, like, moped,
motorcycle, whatever, trying to get away.
As they're trying to start it, Jason
stabs both of them at the same time with the machete.
They're dead.
And
the 11th and 12th
deaths
were like two counselors that were
basically fooling around in RV.
Basically they're having sex, the girl's
on top and she's like going to
the beat of the song and he's like,
how much longer? And she's like, well, it's only like 10 more minutes.
And he's like, oh, god, like
Oh, he can't hold on? Yeah.
He can't hold on for 10 more minutes.
And so they're like having sex for a minute
to a song and then all of a sudden
the power goes out and like
he finishes and she's like,
oh, did you finish? And he's like, well, when the song
ended, like, it ended.
And she's like, well, the power is out. Go check it out.
And so he gets out of the RV
to go look at the power plug and everything.
Can we just address for just a second?
If
I was in a, like, if I was having
sex with someone and some
chick and she was like, I want
to do it to this song and I want
you to get, I want you to finish
the song right at the end of the song.
Who can time?
Better be a short song.
How
what speed are we listening to the song in?
Are we listening to, uh,
Pink Floyd's, uh,
Shine On, you crazy
diamond, parts one through four.
Dogs. That's why I don't
date girls who are
fans of Tool. Yeah.
Yeah.
But fuck.
Yeah, I mean, but that's just
a little weird. It's just a little weird.
Like, it's a little weird to
I get fucking the music.
They're like eighties, teenage.
Okay. I don't care what decade you are.
It's just
putting someone on a time constraint. That's a lot of pressure
to put on someone. It's like just enjoy the moment.
Live in the moment. Be in the moment.
Be present. What happens after?
What happens after? So
he goes outside to check the power.
And he's like looking at the cord
and he pulls it out of the RV and he's like
that looks fine. Going down to the
cord and sees that it's cut.
Oh shit. And then all of a sudden you hear a
sound and it's the girl came out of the RV like
are you done yet? And she's like well
this, this wasn't unplugged.
Like something happened.
She's like gosh, someone's messing with us.
Like let's go. And so they go back in the
RV and he goes to start it.
And it doesn't start.
Go figure. The battery's dead. And she's like
well no you idiot. And switches from
like whatever to the battery
power so they can start the RV.
And he's like oh okay. It starts up immediately.
Start driving. And they get on the
road. They're driving back down to camp. He's
driving crazy. He's going all over in the RV
like what? Slow down.
Like oh it's fun. Turns on the radio.
Oh he's driving crazy for no reason.
He's like fast reversing. And she's
standing in the back of the RV and she's
flying around and shit?
Violently? Violently. She lands
in the bed in the very back. And
she like gets up and starts walking through the hall
and she's like what are you doing? And he's like
oh we're having fun. Cranks up the radio.
And then the bathroom
door busts open. Jason's in the
bathroom. Grabs her, pulls her in.
Big old Jason sized shit.
He's been dead for so long.
He strangles her.
And then basically kind of slowly
walks out to where the guy's like
driving down the road. Now driving on the road
so it's not as crazy. Oh so Jason's
not flopping around and shit? That would have been
fucking hilarious if he was just
So he sneaks up behind the guy. Stabs him in the side of the head.
The RV crashes. Jason
walks away from the tipped over RV
as it's engulfing in flames.
So that's 11 and 12.
And then
so 13th death
I guess would be considered the 13th. What I
consider it is the nerdy guy.
It was off screen death.
You would escape to the paintball match?
Yeah, parts of his body. You find a couple legs
or a leg and an arm.
And yeah.
Everyone else
just gets a quick clean death. He got ripped
apart by a monster.
And then so the 14th
death. They're back at the camp.
Two of the girl counselors
are in their cabin and the kids are sleeping.
And like
one of them keeps hearing noises outside
the window, the open window, and she kind of just
gets up and thinks it's the other counselors
messing with her. She's like, come on guys, why are you
messing around? And like she hears like
footsteps go up underneath like the window
seal. So she does like a can of soda
and like pours it out
expecting someone to get up and be like, oh
why did you do that? And
nothing happens. So she kind of like stands up
and she like gets closer to the window.
Jason, just take a face full of soda.
They never really explained
it. But is that what we're
assuming? Because if someone's at the window, it's Jason.
She pours soda out the window
still thinking someone's going to be like,
ah, he got me. But it's just Jason
going,
yummy, mountain dude.
Soda yum.
But so, yeah,
that's what we're assuming. And then as she
gets close to the window, she gets pulled out
of the window by Jason.
And the other counselor is just like
laying in bed, like be quiet, like I'm
trying to sleep. And
she gets pulled out of the window,
immediately gets her head turned around
and she's dead.
And then, um,
yeah.
Uh, that was
the fourteenth death.
Did the chick in the bag get killed?
No. So he goes in there
and as he goes in there to like get
close to her,
he hears something. Like you
think it's him coming in and it ends up being one
of the little girls, uh, one of the girls.
And she comes in with the bloody machete.
And she's like, I found this
outside. And like, the counselor's like,
oh, it's just some of the other counselors messing with you.
Let's go back to bed. How much of this
movie, at least five times you said
somebody finds something suspicious.
And they're like, eh, just somebody messing with us.
No. If I found a bloody
machete outside, that's some
serious shit. I would not, yeah, I'd definitely
be like, let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah.
It's time to go. Something's not going great.
We found a thumb once.
Well, we were, my friends and I, we were, we found
an abandoned house. Yeah. And we found someone like cut off
thumb, like a bloody severed thumb
in the, in the, and it looked fresh enough
to be like, we need, we should get out of here. Yeah.
Did you call the cops?
It's not our
business.
We should get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here. We were teenagers.
Okay.
Uh, so, yeah, so she walks the girl
back to her cabin and is like, just go to sleep.
Like, it's fine. Like, there's nothing wrong.
We're here. We're protecting you. And, uh,
she goes back to her cabin.
And when she goes in,
door shuts. And then you
basically see, like, the door pops open and
she's like, what? You know. And like, goes
up to close the door. And, uh,
as she gets close to closing the door, like, the wind
blows and it blows it shut. She's like, ah,
it freaks out. And she starts
laughing. She's like, oh, okay, that was silly.
Goes to shut it all the way. Then Jason
busts in the door. Comes in the
door. The door kind of shuts. And then you get
an off-screen death of just the blood splatter
throughout the cabin. And so that
was her death. That was the sleeping girl?
That was the sleeping counselor. She woke up.
Not the little girl, but the counselor.
Does he kill any little kids with it?
No. But he, like, he was going
to and then doesn't. Like,
he gets distracted by other sounds.
God. Yeah. Uh, and that was
the fifteenth death. Uh,
and then, so,
now you get the sixteenth.
So after that, kind of,
um, Tommy
has basically been, uh, got out
of jail somehow. I don't remember. He broke
out and then, uh, kind of goes
around. So the cops at this point assume that
he's the one doing all the killings because they're starting to find
bodies. It makes sense. And so they're like,
no, it's Tommy. Like, he's trying to establish
the Jason lore. And,
uh, the cops end up catching up with Tommy
again with, with his daughter.
You get, uh, the daughter's like,
you know, meet me here. And so they meet up.
Every time you say Tommy, I'm thinking
Power Rangers.
You can't help it.
The dragon flute? Yeah.
I think he is wearing a red shirt, so.
Well, Tommy was the green ranger, huh?
Tommy was green and white. Green and white.
I could see it. Power Rangers versus Jason.
He just chops him with the machete, but for some reason
sparks fly.
Actually, I think Tommy was also red a few times.
I thought he was.
He was, he lasted until
he died.
I think he was like in the most, one of the
more recent incarnations of it.
He was like the Zordog
character. Even a few iterations
of it. It's like, it's, yeah. No,
he's not Zordog. It's like he's their,
he's their principal leader.
He's there for a few years. He's their older guy
telling him what to do. Okay.
He's not a disembodied head.
He's a, he walks away.
So.
Yeah, Tommy and the
Sheriff's daughter.
This episode's gonna be called
KKK.
The description's
just gonna say KKK
over and over again.
Go ahead.
So, Tommy's with the
Sheriff's daughter
and she's driving. He's in the passenger
seat. She's got like a, you know,
American-made fast car, of
a sort.
And they're driving and she's like, oh, we can go back
to the camp. And they come across a roadblock
and she's like, get down.
Puts his head in her lap. And he's
just like looking at her crotch.
And she's like, okay. She's like, stay down there. He's like,
as you say so. So,
she's like, she flips around and
runs away from the cops.
And like cops are following
them. Little high-speed chase.
And then it ends
basically with her at another roadblock
that her dad's there
with the gun, with the shotgun pointed. And she's like,
get out of, you know, come out of the car.
And, you know, he lifts his head up from
her lap and he's like, oh, shit.
It's your dad.
Now, real quick. Was she wearing
clothing that would be?
She was wearing jeans, like tight jeans.
Okay, so he wasn't getting like a full D or any of the good.
No, no. Just faced right in her crotch.
Got it. Okay.
So, they arrest him.
They come back to jail.
And like, you know,
then he gets another call about another death.
And they're like, well, what time was the death?
And like, he doesn't really say anything about it.
He gets off the phone and he's like, you need to leave him alone.
Like, he's staying here. Dad, what time were the deaths at?
It was like, well, 9, 930.
He was with me at that time.
Like, it couldn't have been him.
Stay here. I'm going to the camp.
So, the dad goes to the camp with the other cops.
And then,
he leaves one cop there
with Tommy and his daughter.
And, like, his daughter is like,
well, you know, here's a little ruse.
Like, we're going to get you out of here.
So, they kind of like. They've got a little point.
Yeah. They trick the cop.
Does she seduce him, the cop?
No, no. She basically
has like a little notepad.
And he's like, what are you drawing?
Like, I'm drawing this or whatever.
And she like throws it, throws the drawing board at him.
And he grabs it, pulls it in.
And she's like, I want it back.
And then they make out for a second.
Her and Tommy.
Through the jail cell.
Through the holding cell.
And the deputy gets up.
He's like, hey! Like, no, stop it.
And goes over there. And as he's going over there,
Tommy kind of starts to fight with him for a second.
And she pulls out his gun.
And points his gun at the deputy.
The deputy's gun at himself.
And his gun is like a revolver
but with like a red dot sight
that's like a ridiculous red dot sight.
And she's pointing it right at him.
And he turns around, and best line in the movie.
Quit clowning around.
And she says, well, I'm not the one
with the red dot on my nose.
It's so cheesy and corny.
That's such a bad fucking line.
It was great. I loved it.
I'm not the one with the red dot on my nose.
You're the clown, homie.
You're the clown.
Oh, well, it's such a stupid, stupid line.
It's dumb.
But definitely the one that stuck out the most.
So they make it back to the camp.
And then Jason's slowly picking off Cop.
As they're all kind of like spread out.
16th, the Cop.
Is walking on a dock looking for Jason.
And then gets an arrow thrown into his face.
Throw?
Just chucked at his face. Goes right through his eye.
And Jason just throwing arrows.
Eight point accuracy.
Bullseye.
From a dead bull.
From a daredevil.
17th, Jason squeezes a Cop's head.
Pops his head. Kills him.
18th was an off screen death.
I don't remember what it was.
I think it was just another Cop.
They come across his body and he's just dead.
And then you get kind of the final standoff.
And it's the Sheriff and Jason are there.
His daughter and Tommy are in the cabin.
Kind of like getting the kids like, get under your beds.
Hide. Like we'll be right back.
And she's screaming, daddy, where are you?
And he's kind of fighting Jason.
He's like, I'm going to kill him.
And shoots him three times with a shotgun.
Jason's kind of like down, but he keeps getting up.
And then he pulls out his sidearm, shoots him a few times.
And then kind of just runs off into the woods.
And then Jason ends up catching up to him, of course.
And the Cop is kind of hiding for a minute.
And then he hears his daughter calling.
And then Jason turns around to go that way.
And that's when the Cop decides to come back out
and try to choke Jason out.
Which does not work for him.
That's the dumbest fucking idea you could have.
Oh really, this guy just shot three times with a shotgun.
He keeps getting back up.
Let me try to jump on his back.
Was it a jump on his back situation?
Jump on his back.
And of course he's way bigger than him,
so he's dangling off of his back.
And he's trying to choke him out.
It's like when your kids jump on your back.
And so what, Jason runs him into a tree a few times?
No, he just kind of like throws him over.
Yeah, gets him on the ground.
And then the Cop's just like there for a second.
And then Jason grabs him and folds him in half backwards.
And he's dead.
Oh, that's a bad way to fucking die.
I can imagine someone much bigger than you
just taking you and back like the Batman Bane,
but just go all the way, fold him on, he's snapping him.
Isn't that the one where the guy's like on the little roll of bed
and he stabs him in the back and then folds him?
That's another one, yeah.
That was gnarly.
Not when he folds him forward, this one he folds him backwards.
Oh, so he has like a fold in half sort of fetish.
This weird fucking zombie.
It's Jason's thing.
He likes some sandwiches.
So did Jason?
Yeah, he likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Where was he?
Wait, are people going to – they're not going to understand their reference.
That episode from a month ago?
Yeah, it's getting closer and closer.
But where was Jason when he was a kid?
Like if he came back, why didn't he come back as a kid
and then age to whatever age he is now?
Why did he come back as a full grown adult?
So like I'm not – where did he learn how to do –
throw an arrow super fast in like pinpoint accuracy?
Was he just – did he just spend 30 years?
Like did he almost drown?
He's like, I'm not going back to that camp.
I'm ugly.
No one likes me.
I'm going to go to this woods over here and just train to kill
for 30 years silently, no one to talk to,
and then he just went and started killing people?
I don't know.
I'm just thinking about it.
This thing sounds a little preposterous.
All of it.
Just a bit on the preposterous side.
So while the sheriff is getting folded in half by Jason,
Tommy has kind of devised a plan.
He's like, we've got to take Jason back to where he first
originated from, the middle of the lake.
So he's got a big boulder that he's attached a metal chain to
that he's loaded into a canoe, and he's kind of tied like a
noose end of the chain, and he's trying to lure Jason
into the water, and he lures Jason into the water.
Jason slowly walks out, and he gets to the point where it's
deeper and deeper, and just before he gets to the canoe,
he ends up underwater, and then the guy's like,
where is he?
That's scary.
Jason underwater when you're in a little boat is the most
terrifying situation I can think of.
So, yeah, basically, he has Jason first,
you see a bunch of air bubbles, so he's like,
all right, he's coming up right here,
and he's just holding it ready to throw it on his neck.
He came up the other side.
That was a fart.
That was a Jason fart.
It was a long one, too.
The only way he's here, he farts to propel himself forward,
so when you see the bubbles come up here,
he's on the other side of the boat.
Yeah, so he comes up on the other side and attacks Tommy,
and they're like fighting for a second,
and then like he pushes him off, and Jason goes back underwater.
Tommy grabs gasoline, pours it around the boat,
lights the gasoline on fire, so the water around the boat is
on fire, and then Jason ends up coming back up,
grabbing Tommy, and then bringing him down underwater,
and as he's like doing this, like Tommy gets the noose
around his neck, the metal chain noose,
and so like he's being held down by the neck,
but he's also pulling Tommy down, and as he pulls Tommy down,
he like chokes Tommy out, and then lets go of Tommy
after he passes out from being choked out underwater,
and then the girl is in the cabin like kind of like Tommy
like freaking out, and she's like, stay here, kids,
I'll be right back, and like runs and jumps off the dock,
and then goes to like grab Tommy, who's now floating at the top
upside down, and so she grabs him and turns him over,
and as she's pulling him, she gets grabbed from underwater
by Jason, and then Jason's like trying to pull her under,
and she's grabbing onto the boat, which wasn't, I guess,
not a canoe, but it was like a canoe with an engine,
and she is starting the boat, and she gets it started,
and then uses the propeller to chop Jason's face up,
which kills him, and then she gets back to the shore
with Tommy, and then gives him the worst CPR ever,
like not, I don't know how he survived,
she like taps his chest, she's like, wake up, like no,
he spits out water, and he's alive, and then you get
the last shot of the movie, is Jason underwater,
and then like he's kind of like, you know, just floating there,
and then you see his fist tighten up into a ball,
and then it zooms in on his eye, and his eyes are moving around.
He doesn't have his mask on, right?
He still has his mask on.
Okay, that's the end.
Well, what do you rate this one?
It's a hard one.
It was silly.
It had a lot of silly lines.
It made me laugh.
It definitely is very tongue-in-cheek.
No scary moments really, but I mean, that's Friday the 13th,
you kind of know what you're in for.
So I mean, I guess I'll give it a 3 out of 5.
That has to be the unifying theory here.
You did 8, and you did X.
Now, I don't know what happened in 7, because you did 6.
I don't know what happened in 7, but I don't think...
It doesn't matter.
I don't think either Jason left the bottom of the lake
and did some shenanigans in 7, and then ended up
exactly back where he ended up in the back,
because in 8, he's at the bottom of a lake chained up.
So I don't know what the fuck happened in 7.
Wait, did I watch 7?
Did I watch 7? Hold on.
Oh, you watched Jason and the Argonauts.
Fuck, dude.
No, I watched 8.
You watched Groundhog Day.
I watched Friday the 13th, part 8, Jason Takes Manhattan.
So you get a really fun opening credits,
which is like a cool opening narration from some guy on the radio.
You get stereotypical, fun, cheesy 80s music
to all the most disgusting parts of New York.
Zooming in on scumbags doing scumbag shit, rats everywhere.
It's very fun.
It's funny that it's like what you would normally see
in a movie trying to paint New York as this beautiful place,
and it does the opposite, which I love.
And it shows straight-up heroin use.
Just people melting a spoon and another guy tapping a needle
and straight-up just injecting while the credits are rolling,
which I just love. That's just wonderful.
So this is basically a class trip.
I think something must have happened in 7
because I don't know if they just introduced this dynamic
that I'm supposed to care about, but there's a class trip leaving.
There's two teachers that are chaperones.
One is a woman. A group of students are going.
As they're all getting on the boat, this chick shows up
and goes up to the female teacher, and the female teacher's like,
I'm so glad you decided to come.
And the girl's like, yeah, I think New York will be cool to see
or whatever, and the teacher's like, yeah, and they hug.
And then the male teacher's like, what are you doing?
That's my surrogate daughter that I adopted.
Why are you hugging her and shit?
Like, I didn't want you to come, but fine, if you're here, just go.
So they get on the boat.
Her boyfriend, the girl's boyfriend, is the son of the captain,
and the captain is trying to teach his son how to do the boat.
So he's like, all right, son, this is going to be you.
And he's with his friend, and it's kind of a sad moment
because he's with his coworker buddy that they've probably been
maybe co-captain or whatever, and he's like, all right,
I hereby relinquish command of the vehicle to my son, Robert or whatever.
And he hands the comm over to Robert, and Robert's like,
they're looking at him expectantly, and Robert's like,
we're going to leave soon or whatever, and it's like, no, you've got to do it.
He takes the thing.
He does it properly because his son doesn't give a shit.
He's like, come on, son, we've gone over this.
You want to be a boat captain like your dad.
And then he's like, I don't know.
And he runs off the kid.
He's like, I don't know if I want to be a boat captain.
And he runs off.
Anyway, that doesn't even really matter.
I just thought it was kind of silly that that was like a drama
that they injected in the beginning.
It opens, I forgot to say, before we get to even if he's any of these kids.
It opens with the first Jason deaths and Jason coming to life.
So Jason is at the bottom of a lake.
He's chained down by metal.
This couple in a boat is going down Crystal Lake,
and they're in front of Camp Crystal Lake.
He anchors down.
The anchor eventually gets caught up with the metal of Jason.
He climbs up using it and gets up in there.
They, a couple of bucks, the boy grabs a Jason mask that he has,
and he scares her with it.
Hey, I think this is going to be the last mention of Jason in a lake.
Did you know that I think there is a real Camp Crystal Lake,
where somebody built a statue of Jason underwater in the lake?
That's cool.
I'm sorry, I feel like that was going to be the last mention of him in the lake,
so I had to bring that up.
I fucking love movies because they inspire awesome shit like that happening.
Especially it would be awesome if you didn't know that,
and you're in that lake and you're, oh, fuck!
There's a little mermaid statue in Copenhagen, Denmark,
that you can go see, and they go like,
oh yeah, there's a statue of a little mermaid.
And you go in a boat and you go and you see it,
and it's just a tiny, tiny little statue of a mermaid.
And that's the whole tourist thing.
It's like, yep, there's a tiny little statue of a mermaid, a little mermaid.
And I think that's based on the same story that Hans Christian Andersen based.
Speaking of which, speaking of statues, on my way here,
every time I drive three hours to be here, I drive the same way,
and I go down this bullhead highway, and there's a big statue of a bull.
Every time I drive by, I look at that bull's balls,
because they sculpted it with balls on it.
It's like, yep, they're still there every time.
Dario, I think, was one of the guys that moved that.
He either moved the bull or he moved the turtle,
but he was one of the dudes that physically moved it into the spot that it's in right now.
So just know that, everybody, you saw Dario's muscles at work in real life.
Who's Dario?
Dario's my friend.
You guys know him, but guess what?
We fucking don't have any of his episodes up.
Well, Dario was an old friend of the show, and he's here with us.
So Jason kills these two.
He almost hits them with the spear, and then he uses that spear to impale them.
It's not really anything spectacular death-wise,
but the important thing is he's covered in muck.
He looks like he's been at the bottom of a lake for two movies.
So I don't know what happened in seven.
But he is covered in slime.
I think, and I might be wrong, but I think every single time you see Jason
for the rest of this movie, he is dripping wet.
Like, he's just come out of the lake.
So maybe it's astral projection, Jason.
Jason.
It's Jason.
Anyway, so he kills the couple, and then he just kind of...
I think he sort of drifts in on a boat, like on their boat,
like he's on it, like he comes in the shore,
while the spiel trip is leaving on a much bigger boat.
He then grabs onto, like, the chain of the boat on the side
and then just hitches a ride with this crew, this, like, high school crew.
And then on the boat, he goes and terrorizes all of them.
He kills the captains.
He kills this guitar chick, this one punk rocker chick has a guitar,
and she's, like, you know, playing it a lot,
and he goes and he finds her while she's practicing,
and he kills her with her own guitar.
There's these bully chicks that one of them seduces her teacher
to kind of, like, get back at him for catching her with drugs,
and she does a really sexy science project where she's like,
I'm working on my biology project,
and she just takes her clothes off instead of her bra and panties,
and it's like she just wrote, like, heart here,
and it's like a little arrow and, like, stomach's here,
and then, like, the guy's like, whoa, hey, what are you doing?
And then she starts making out with them.
Camera boy catches them.
Like, blackmail, it doesn't really matter.
They all fucking die.
I mean, like, that was great if it had any time to pan off,
but, no, all of them get there, come up.
I wasn't really keeping track of the deaths.
To me, the deaths, I wasn't really thinking about the deaths.
I was thinking about the ramifications of what Jason was doing,
how did he get to so many places at once?
There's literally a scene where Jason's at the bottom of a boat,
and there's a ladder going up to, like, the crow's nest or whatever,
and one guy's got, like, at least 10, 15 feet clearance on Jason,
and then the next cut is just Jason's above him somehow,
like, throwing him off or whatever.
It's just, like, it's so silly.
Like, so Jason must have gotten superpowers, but he's wearing...
And then I put Jason is wearing a, quote-unquote, Jason mask,
because I think by eight, the hockey mask,
the one that the boy had that he gave to Jason in this movie
must have been, like, a novelty Crystal Lake Killer Jason mask,
like, the Jason Voorhees mask that you would know about in-universe.
I think this boy bought to scare his girlfriend,
so I think Jason is wearing his own merchandise mask as he's going through,
because it's...
One of the Halloween stories, right?
That's what I'm saying, yeah.
So it's just like, yeah, exactly.
Because technically Ghostface from Scream is wearing a Halloween store,
so all of...
Like, yeah, so they're all...
But anyway, girl gets a pen from her surrogate mother, teacher chick,
and the pen is supposedly the one that Stephen King used in high school.
And I was like, that's a cool gift, very thoughtful.
I like that a lot.
Oh, yeah, I put... There was a hot rock murder between a rock and a hard place
where he just takes a hot stone while a guy's in a sauna,
and he, like, puts it through his chest and then leaves it there.
Kind of burns it from the inside a little bit.
I thought that was nice.
We get introduced to the central few characters,
which is the girl with the Stephen King pen, her boyfriend,
a black boxer guy who's a real tough guy.
And there's a moment where the black tough guy, he goes and grabs...
He's a boxer, a boxer guy.
He goes and grabs a bunch of weapons from all over the place
and lays them all out, and he's like, all right, guys,
we're going to go get this motherfucker.
And the teacher's like, no, you're not.
And the dude's like, we're not at school.
And he turns, he's like, grab some weapons.
And they all just grab, like, axes and whatever,
and he grabs a shotgun, and they all go hunting Jason separately.
And they all get murdered one by one.
And so he survives.
They get off the boat.
They finally are walking around in Manhattan.
They think that they're fine.
And this is where I'm starting to think, like,
just Jason's a one-track minded killer.
Like, he'll kill people along the way if they get in front of him, I think.
But for the most part, he just wants to kill, for some reason,
the people he wants to kill.
Like...
When I was looking up which movie I was going to watch,
I saw a short scene from this movie when he's walking around Manhattan.
Did he kick a boombox in front of a bunch of punks?
That was the short I saw.
I was like, ah, I was torn.
Takes his mask off, and he scares them.
He does the Beetlejuice.
He does the Beetlejuice where he...
So he's walking down the street,
and there's some punks listening to a boombox.
He kicks the boombox because it's in his way.
And they go, what the fuck, man?
And he turns around.
That's what I don't understand, is he gets on a boat,
and now apparently Camp Crystal Lake is connected to the ocean?
He makes it all the way to New York in like an hour?
No.
The boat that they left on was, like, not from Crystal Lake.
They were leaving from a harbor probably at the adjacent city.
So, like, he killed a couple on a boat,
and that boat went down the river into the bigger feeding area
to the ocean or whatever, or lake or whatever.
It's the Great Lakes up there, yeah.
Yeah, and so he...
Whatever port that was was a legitimate port with boats,
and so the boat they got on that he hitched a ride on
with a bigger boat, and that's how he got to New York,
on the bigger boat.
It doesn't really matter, but when they get to New York...
You know, another thing, I watched a short thing about this movie,
because I almost picked this one, was that, like,
Jason doesn't get to New York until, like,
what, the last half hour of the movie.
Yeah.
And the reason for that is that it's very expensive to shoot in New York.
That makes sense.
So they filmed it all right there.
Imagine being there while they're making this movie
and being an extra or just seeing Jason in New York.
You're like, ah!
Yeah, that'd be dope.
That would, like, exactly, because you wouldn't expect it,
especially just being someone like, whoa, what the fuck?
Jason's in New York?
Like, that doesn't make sense canonically.
He's supposed to be at Crystal Lake, you know, like, yeah, I can see that.
A fish out of Water Story, a fish out of Crystal Lake Story.
If you saw Freddy Krueger or Ghost Space running around in any different place,
you'd be like, OK, I get it.
Although Ghost Space seems to...
Ghost Space and Scream? That could happen anywhere.
Actually, does it, though, or does it always happen in the same area?
Because Sydney is always involved, and she always has to go back to her hometown.
It's always that same high school.
Actually, no.
Since we mentioned Scream, let's give a round of applause to David Arquette.
APPLAUSE
We love him here on the show.
You cannot kill David Arquette. And get ready to rumble.
We should actually do the Scream franchise next year for Halloween.
I'm surprised we didn't do any of those, or all of them.
I would have too many sequels.
I think we'll do Saw and then Scream and just things that have way too many sequels
that we haven't covered already.
Yeah, I think next year you can expect Halloween.
The problem is that you make us watch them all on the same week.
So if you pick Scream, it's like, OK, guys, no work, no sleep this week.
You just watch all the Screams.
I mean, you're right. You're not wrong.
I was going to suggest maybe that we did a Scream.
You're responsible for so many people remaining stationary for hours.
You're going to try to indoctrinate us into watching things at two times speed as well.
Yeah, trust me, it helps, guys.
So basically, I put, yeah, I mean, he could teleport.
So Jason punches the guy's head off.
It's a really, really good transition where you see a puddle of gasoline on fire.
And then it just starts zooming in and zooming in and zooming in.
It turns into somebody's eye or something.
I don't know. I should have wrote down more of the cool transition.
But it was really cool. I'll give him props for that.
Then we get basically the best part of the movie, which is Boxer Guy.
And the Boxer Guy is getting chased by Jason and he gets up to a rooftop and he turns around and Jason just follows him.
And he's like, you know what?
Screw it, man.
And he walks up and he just starts punching Jason.
And this goes on for about four minutes, five minutes.
He's punching him in the stomach, in the face.
He's just, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.
He's just getting tired. He's getting tired. He's getting tired.
And then I forget, what does he, how does he kill him?
Jason kills him?
Yeah.
Punches his head off.
That's the one I wrote down.
Give me your best shot.
And then he just, pa, and just punches his head right off.
I'm like, fuck yeah, dude.
So, Jesus, how did they kill Jason in this?
Was I paying attention at the end?
Oh, yeah, they, so they take him to the subway and the boy pushes him onto the tracks and Jason falls on the tracks and gets electrocuted.
The boy falls on the track.
It's fine.
So, I don't know if they really think that out.
But he gets melted and gooey and stuff.
Shit, man, I'm sorry.
I can't remember how the fuck this thing ended.
It's so, I didn't write it down either.
I put Jason without a mask. It's fucking gross.
Well, melted and gooey's are pretty good, you know.
If he's melted and gooey, he's probably dead.
Yeah, but no, that's, they didn't just leave.
I mean, I know they, they left, but.
Well, they probably wouldn't put him back in the damn lake.
Why do they continue to make the same mistake over and over again and always put him back in the damn lake?
And then he hitches a ride on a boat going back to Crystal Lake.
For the next movie.
Well, it ends.
I think she lives and so does the guy maybe.
And maybe one of the teachers.
I can't remember.
Every time I hear Crystal Lake, I can't help but to think that this would be the greatest movie to have a Cerveza Cristal commercial in the middle of.
And if you're unfamiliar with Cerveza, that's the Star Wars movie.
Is it Brazilian?
The Emperor's just like, bring me the girl.
Cerveza, Cerveza.
Yeah.
Love it.
So I give this two out of five.
Because it's cheesy as fuck.
It's the story is not great.
It's fine.
But like you said, 30 minutes of it is New York.
30 minutes.
He doesn't really take Manhattan so much as visit briefly.
He shows up, does a little bit of Manhattan.
He just spends about an hour in Manhattan and then he dies.
I mean, I can't remember.
He's walking around going, holy shit, how much for a hot dog?
Yeah.
God, I wonder what rent's here.
Rent's like back in the forest where I've trained to kill my entire life.
I'm just you know what really sucks is I just as mongoloid boy that they made they drowned.
No one can hear me.
But I really learned in the woods that it should have been me knowing how to swim rather than the counselors having to watch my back.
I knew he should have drowned in the Hudson.
He's like, oh, God, it's so much worse.
It's so gross.
I can see Jason.
Yeah.
He's just he's like, you know what?
It's my fault.
I went into the river when I wasn't supposed to.
It wasn't any bodyguards.
So I'm only I'm not even met.
And then I don't know what would drive him to be mad, though.
What would people started?
Then he comes down to town and he one day he just starts hearing people like, oh, yeah, Jason Forty's motherfucking boys.
Just fucking Karen Mom is that's it.
It's his mom.
He was fine.
And then he finds out his mom killed a bunch of people.
That's it.
So he's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to be a couple of five.
And I didn't like it.
All right.
Well, since it's to me now, I have the best Jason movie of all time.
It blows all the other ones out of the water.
Jason X is so good.
Jason X. Love Jason.
This was like, look, we've made nine of these.
We know you don't care anymore.
We don't care anymore.
We're just going to have fun.
80s equivalent to just dumping all your toys on the ground and just let's have fun.
Yeah, I don't.
Again, just like you with yours, I have no idea how the one before it ended.
I got a brief description, which Jason walks out of a house and just is surrounded by police and gets the fuck shot out of them.
OK, and he gets captured.
So they have him in this underground facility, not very far from Crystal Lake.
They have them all chained up like like a BDSM style chain up.
Let him keep his mask.
They let him keep his mask on.
There's one guy that fucking face.
They've had they've been trying to execute him for all the murders he committed.
They tried electric chair firing squad.
They tried to hang him and he just wouldn't die.
So they just had him chained and they plan to have him frozen until they could figure out how to kill Jason.
So he's all chained up there.
There's a guy behind like behind this little control panel like he wants to he throws a shirt over his head and like the main chick running that facility.
She's about to walk in and then these government dudes show up and they're like, we're taking Jason to our facility to study him because he can regenerate.
You know, like we're taking him.
He's like he fucking he's insane.
He'll kill everybody.
And then he's like, not too bad, bitch.
Fuck you.
They go up to it and they take the shirt off his head and it's the guy that was watching him.
And then Jason just starts fucking everybody up.
He kills all the generals and all their soldiers.
And how did he get out of the chair?
I don't know. He wasn't in a chair.
He's like hung like like when they capture Obi Wan and Anakin in episode two, like hands up, legs down.
I don't know.
I really don't know.
I think maybe he just broke out of it.
Teleports motherfucker dude.
Teleporting Jason is scary.
But teleport in the Mortal Kombat game.
So the chick that wanted to keep him there, she's being chased.
There's nobody there to help her at all.
They had one guy watching him.
They had him chained up.
All the generals and their soldiers died.
There's no backup.
No kind of like, hey, where's General Johnson?
He's just he just he went down to that thing to go get Jason.
And anyway, so she she leads Jason to the place where they were going to freeze them.
She tricks him to go into the freezing capsule and starts it.
She's standing outside of it like, yeah, I got him.
He stabs through the thing and like hits her and it leaks into the room.
The freezing whatever agent.
So she gets frozen.
Jason gets frozen.
And then 400 years pass.
I swear to God, if you tell me she lives.
Four hundred years pass.
I swear to God, Austin, if you say that she's a main character of this movie and she fucking lives.
So I know for 400, 400 fucking years, nobody checked on this facility where the famous Jason has been caught and held captive and been tried to be executed.
Dead soldiers, dead soldiers everywhere.
Generals of war.
Nobody. Oh, I guess he's he fucked up.
I don't know. These are the names of the unnamed.
They have to get buried at the the unnamed soldiers or whatever.
Just like are the missing.
They're on a list of walls of where and now all in here.
And during that 400 years, the earth has been completely destroyed, all except for this facility, a spaceship lands.
So people get out, they scan, they find Jason in the in the tube and they like this one chick like scans him.
Obviously, she's an android.
He's like, what kind of mask is that?
It's some kind of carbon fiber breathing mechanism.
And one of the robots like it's a hockey mask.
They're like, what's hockey?
And he's like, it was out.
It's a sport that was outlawed in twenty twenty four.
Oh, so look out hockey.
We got two, three months.
So they they find the chick, too, and they're like, quick, let's get both of them there while they're still frozen.
Let's get them on the ship.
So they get on the little ship, goes back to the main freighter where the rest of the movie takes place.
They they have Jason kind of falling out and then they have this other chick.
They put her on a table and like weird metal tentacles come out and reviver.
And she's like, oh, what happened?
He's like, oh, it's been four hundred years.
The earth's destroyed. We live in space now.
And we got you and the other.
Who, Jason, you didn't bring Jason on the fucking ship, did you?
And oh, oh, shit.
Oh, yeah.
They bring them on the spaceship.
And so the guy running the ship, he wants now wants to study Jason and figure out like shit with his regeneration powers.
Now, everything's cool.
The chicks brought back to life. They're studying Jason.
She doesn't want them to study Jason.
They're like just fucking ejecting from the ship or something like, no, it's fine. He's dead.
He's dead as shit.
And nope.
So people in the ship, everyone's every girl that works on the ship, the professional uniform is having your cleavage out completely.
It's just normal.
Everybody's fucking on the ship.
And, you know, as soon as people start fucking, soon as someone's getting laid, Jason's got to wake up.
He wakes up.
Super here.
See, yeah, one of his superpowers is teleporting and semen.
Squeaky cries of a billion unborn babies ejaculated from a hard dick is enough to resurrect Jason from the bottom deepest wells of either the lake or or fucking frozen being frozen.
It's he just hears the evil lake.
Oh, yeah, these people start evil Lake Aquaman Lake Aquaman.
He talks to semen instead of Jack woman.
Jack woman.
So, yeah, people start fucking and then this lady's she's getting pounded and she goes, and then it cuts to Jason that echoes and he just gets the fuck up like someone coming.
And he sees this chick like studying some shit grabs her sticks her head into just a vat of cryogenic fluid that just happens to be out because that's what you just leave out freezes her.
It like zooms out on her face like, and then she freezes and then he pulls her out and just smashes her head on a table.
That's one of the most memorable deaths in that movie.
What's that? Yeah, it's one of the most memorable.
One of my favorites, the sleeping bag, which we'll get to, but I, which you'll get to.
But this one thing's happening. I think Jason.
He had a very confusing puberty.
He doesn't know what he's still a virgin. He's still a virgin.
So what's happening is he hears people fucking he gets excited, and he just doesn't know what he's doing.
So when he runs up and smashes this chick into a fucking cryogenic and then smashes her face, he thinks he's initiating for play.
He's like, Jason, like girl, Jason, make girl girlfriend. He takes your head kissy noise kissy face.
And then you're just killing her. You know, like that.
So now every time he kills, that's what I'm imagining. Jason is just Edward Scissorhands.
Yeah, clumsy buffoon with too much strength. He's letting from mice and men.
You find a great ways of humanizing these terrible people.
He just wants the fuck. That's the new Freddie versus Jason.
It's like we're both just misunderstood, bitch.
What's your deal, bitch? They just team up and just team up and kill everyone, bitch. Jason just want to kiss girl.
I get it, bitch. You can hit me from the back, Jason. I could take it, bitch.
And after several hundred attempts of Jason just killing Freddie and under the different ways, he finally finds the hole.
That's the Rudy moment. Anyways, so chick gets her face smashed cryogenic style.
The Android is with this other guy and they have like a romance and she wants to be a real girl.
And so it just cuts to her with her tits out. And she's like, so what do you think? They look great.
And then her nipples fall off. Don't worry. We'll get there.
And then people start noticing like, hey, where's so and so?
One chick was just so one there's a hallway shot and there's a chick walking out like, that was some good dick I just got.
And she walks down the hallway and then Jason walks out of the hallway.
He walks into this room where these soldiers on the ship are doing a simulation of like a fighting simulation.
And so Jason kills them in the simulation.
They're like, oh, man, like, who the fuck is this guy? Come on.
So they do a simulation off and then it cuts to like real life and Jason gets to kill them both a second time.
Oh, that's great. So that was cool.
Then everyone knows, OK, Jason, I do what that happens.
Who? Jason. Can you tell?
I mean, I know he doesn't emote a lot, but like, can you tell?
He's like, oh, cool. He doesn't he doesn't have much of a personality in this.
OK, so after that, everyone knows Jason's on the ship and he's running a mock and that bitch is like, I told you so.
So they get all these soldiers rounded up to go after him.
They're in like the storage hole and Jason starts.
I think this is the first Jason stealth kill because he just grabs a guy out of out of him, pulls him away and cracks his neck.
He's a fucking splinter cell agent.
It's the nastiest sounding neck crack ever.
You listen. Oh, God. So he cracks that guy's neck.
He finds another guy on a catwalk and pushes him off the catwalk and he lands on a giant screw.
And as like he falls, he gets impaled on it and he's slowly spinning around to the screw.
And then they find them later. They send another team.
They're like, what about Johnson? He's like, he's screwed.
Yeah. Oh, how callous towards your fellow co-workers.
Eventually, I think it's supposed to be brothers in arms.
And you're going to really say that if I saw any one of you, any one of my best friend's bodies in a precarious situation, some killer just fucking wrecked you and put you put Mike on a screw.
I wouldn't say, oh, screw you or smash your head with a hammer.
Brendan, I would have been like, oh, your wife calls.
I'm like, Brendan's a little hammered at the moment.
Sergeant Rice, where's Sergeant Larson?
He turns out he can die.
He really screwed himself this time.
And you're like, what does that mean?
Well, he's those corpses over there, sir.
His blood is leaking off the floor of the spaceship.
It's like, do you have no remorse?
Like, this is just some callous shit, as long as I'm safe.
But, OK, yeah, he screwed.
It would be you. That would be you.
What are you talking about?
That would be you.
Yeah, it would be delightful.
There is a cool stoner character that dies kind of early and it makes me sad.
I'm like, oh, we could have had him a little longer.
Yeah. How do you get to be a stoner on space?
That's got to be a heavily.
They're all fucking delinquents.
They're all fucking each other.
Oh, there's like a guy who's like a teacher.
He's the main guy that wanted to keep Jason alive and he's fucking one of his students.
And she he has her like twisting his nipples and shit and like you pass.
Doesn't the stoner guy lose his arm like before he dies and like is without an arm?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, I lost my fucking arm.
Yeah.
How big is the ship?
How many people?
It's a pretty big like Frager ship.
How many people would you say?
Total.
There's like 10 or 12 and maybe some few unnamed soldiers.
OK.
But it gets down to like three of them.
But they're like, OK, let's go to Solaris and we'll deal with it there.
So they're going to Solaris.
They're approaching.
It's like a meteor with a city on it.
And Jason does something to the ship that makes them just crash right through it.
You kill everybody on the city.
They just steamroll the city.
They're like, well, fuck.
That was all of civilization.
And there's probably we're in a high traffic lane.
So we'll run into another ship soon.
So it was Brendan's list to be like, kill one, kill two, kill eight million.
Yeah.
So now you're on Gale.
Gil eight million and four.
So I was the last Jason.
He killed all of humanity.
Now we're getting towards the end.
Jason's killed a whole lot more.
He killed the teacher guy.
The teacher guy tries to like plead with them because he has Jason's original machete.
Jason found like a cool futuristic machete and he's like, look, you want your own.
Hey, guys, it's all good.
He just wanted his old machete back.
It kills him.
Dumbest last lines of all time.
And so the Android chick turns into Trinity from the Matrix.
And she dressed all like sexy and shit like black leather with like bullet vests and shit.
She fucks up Jason like really bad, like like shoots him through fucking walls, shoots him into this room,
shoots him towards this table, blows his leg off, blows his arm off and fucking explodes his head.
And she's like, fuck, yeah.
And they're like, cool, cool.
Now we need to get off the ship.
And unfortunately, the table that she shot him onto is the table that revives people.
So the computer is all fucked up.
It starts sparking up and it's like trying to repair him.
And it's like looking for external sources to repair.
So it goes to like this pile of tech that's right there and repairs him and also enhances him,
turning into what has been dubbed on the Internet as Uber Jason.
Have you seen a picture of Uber Jason, Mike?
Have you seen his mask, bro? Pull up Uber Jason.
I did not even know this movie existed.
And okay, so Uber Jason's there.
He's fucking super strong.
He cuts off the Android Trinity's head.
They're still figuring out like trying to get contact with people.
They find a ship and they're like.
Is this it? Yeah.
Accurate movie. Yeah.
Except you can't see his eyes.
He has like Sith eyes.
And yeah, he's just gnarly Uber Jason.
It's fucking scary. It's sick as fuck.
Yeah. That's cool shit.
That's as like cool as it gets, I think, in my opinion.
And so there's a machete coming out of his hand.
No, how's he holding?
Oh, that's just the floor. Sorry.
That's the machete.
Yeah. So they try to get to another part of the ship that they want to disconnect to the other half that Jason's on.
So while they're trying to do that, they get in contact with another ship, but they need more time.
So they get Jason into this room and they turn on the simulator again.
And so Jason's Jason's in the simulator. He doesn't know all of a sudden he's back at Camp Crystal Lake.
Yeah. And these two chicks walk up and they're like, Hey, do you want to smoke some pot?
Do you want to have premarital sex? We love having premarital sex.
And then they take their shirts off and show their tits.
They're being over the top about it, right? Yeah.
Because it's like a porno video simulation, probably. Right.
Basically like a holographic like porno that you could play three.
I think the lady the lady knows the chick that they unfroze like knew what to put in the simulation.
As far as I'm remembering it program, this on purpose to distract.
Yeah. To distract them so they could buy more time to disconnect the ship and connect to their ship.
So that they put in the actual like that's every little sex.
Yeah. And they're like, how much time do we have left?
And he has them in the sleeping. He puts one of them in a sleeping bag, puts the other one in a sleeping bag and just beating the shit out of one with the other.
Aren't they laughing the entire time? Like, Oh, oh my God.
And then he he fucking and then he takes then it's a nice nod to when the original sleeping bag kill.
Because after he's done killing one with the sleep bag, he just slams the other one against the tree, which is like a nice little nod.
And they're like, he already killed both the campers. And then and then the robot is like, damn, that was quick.
So they explode the ship, the other half, they disconnect.
And then they're looking out out from the window at the explosion and out of the explosion flying towards them is Uber Jason.
And then so in order to start the simulation or the explosion or whatever, one of the guys had to do a spacewalk.
And so when Jason's flying, flying right before he touches the ship, that guy in the space suit just like cuts him off.
This sounds so bad. Is it so bad that it's good? It's like they know what they're doing.
OK, that's what I was like, fly out there right before he gets there.
The guy in the space suit just like like Ramson from the side and they're fighting.
He kills that guy. Jason turns into an asteroid and lands on the on a nearby planet.
Yeah, they all get away. Back up a second. You said you can't just say Jason.
He starts he starts he starts hurtling towards a planet like an asteroid.
Like I'm sorry, I thought like I thought he he collected it. He started drifting through space enough to collect enough to turn him into an asteroid.
And his final thing is he blows up.
I mean, you're not wrong to think maybe that happened in this movie after everything I just told you.
Nipples, nipples falling off. Yeah.
A general's in their entire platoons going missing. Uber Jason, Uber Jason.
Yeah. So they get away that that brave spaceman sacrifices life to stop Jason from getting to the ship.
And Jason, yeah, they get away. All good for them.
Yeah, they're happy. Jason turns into an asteroid and crash it.
And there's some people on this planet like hanging out at night in the dark.
And they're like, look, shooting star. Hey, that landed not too far from Lake whatsoever.
Let's go check it out. And they're and they start walking over there.
And then you see like his mask like floating down in the water.
And then the movie's over and it's pure cinematic bliss.
This entire movie, it's so silly. It knows it's like, look, it's silly.
We know we know they're played out. They're dumb.
Now we just space Jason space and if you will tell me that he landed in the equivalent of their crystal or yes.
Yes, yes. On this planet space, Crystal Lake, space, Crystal Lake.
And then his mask falls into the water next to him.
Yeah, like it just shows. I think it was just to be a cool close.
It was just that you just see his mask kind of floating.
We never got a Jason Eleven. But would you guys have been OK with if they just did?
They just carry on from there in the future.
What about if in the future, 400 years from now, it's the 80s again.
They're just reliving that period of like retro, retro, retro.
Yeah, exactly. So we get like just a more we get a space aged version with future tech of 80 slash or 70 slash or movie.
But anyway, this is this is a friend. I'm sorry.
As I said, this was my favorite. Jason, this is the best.
Jason, my favorite, too. I guess it was a different one.
If they could make a better one, it would have to be like serious and not like, you know, aware of itself.
I think the remake is what where you get that serious and not funny.
Nothing funny. Maybe like there's some funny lines, but it's not done.
The cover, though, this is one of the best covers of all time because it gives you a peek at Uber Jason, too.
Like he oh. Yeah.
And then left is Jason. Right. It's an upgrade, baby.
People get an upgrade. That's a great line.
Now, what I don't like about this is I think that the spacing between his eyes is a little too far.
Yeah, he looks a little derpy. One's looking the other way.
Yeah, it's a little bit on the dirt side, but that's fine.
I mean, Jason, Uber Jason with derpy eyes is still scary.
Still super scared. Yeah. Look at this thing. I don't care how many fucking like if this thing was coming at me right now, I'd be scared.
He looks a lot like Lord Zed. I was thinking he looks a lot like like Super Shredder.
Oh, OK. Let's see. Let's see who's closer.
Here's me. Lord Zed Power Rangers.
Yeah. OK, so that's that's what.
Oh, shit. Sorry. Lord. Phone.
And then we're going to. And what was yours again? Super Shredder. Yep.
Have you noticed every time Andy yells at us about something that one or two weeks later, within one or two weeks, the same thing happens?
Who's closer? Super Shredder? I think I thought Lord said.
To tell it, oh, tell Grok to combine Super Shredder with Lord said, oh, I will do that after.
Let me write that down.
So I rate this movie as far as all the original Jason movies, one to ten.
Ten is the best one. They ended it with a bang.
They made it ridiculous, but also like entertaining to watch.
They made a super cool, scarier Jason.
It's not just the same dude with the machete in space.
The ending was great. All the comedy and it has tits.
And nods to the originals, of course. Five out of five.
OK, Michael. Yes, I had the remake in 2009.
And is that the last one? Has there been anything? You know what? I do not know.
I think there might have been 2011 something weird that came, but not.
It's kind of like catching up with an old friend if that friend was a psychopathic killer with mommy issues.
But Andy would love the way this movie. Have you seen this movie, Andy?
I don't know. Because you would love the way this movie starts.
You've described before you like it when it tells you the story in the opening credits.
Well, how about this movie, which goes 24 minutes of a complete Jason story?
And you're watching and you're saying, you know, this movie is going on.
And then the last one dies and you're like.
And then you get the title screen and then it starts over.
So he OK, I get what you're saying. So it does like a whole ass, a whole group of five kids going to the woods,
doing the whole thing near an abandoned crystal lake. Yes, it's an origin story, but it's modern.
It's like a new origin story. So you get a group of five kids at the lake, not kids, but they're 20ish college students.
Yeah, they wrap it all up. They he kills all that.
OK, turns out one of them has a brother. Who then goes to the same crystal lake town, the town near there.
Is this what he looks like looking for his? Yes, it's a little more gritty.
He's got a jacket. He's a little he's bigger for one thing.
He's way bigger than the guy that had play him somewhere.
Yeah, I think this is the first one without Kane Hodder playing him.
Yes. And he the guy that plays him does an amazing job.
He's very menacing, very big. But the first group all die.
Twenty four minutes in the movie opening title. And you're like, OK, that was interesting.
What the fuck are they going to do from here? You don't really know.
And then it cuts to a scene and this kid drives up on a motorcycle to a shop like a gas station type thing going towards Crystal Lake.
And he's looking for his sister.
And runs into another group of college students going to a different place, but around still around the camp Crystal Lake area.
And and they're kind of dicks. You know, they're all kind of college student. What you would expect.
And he's kept they're kind of addicted to him and they're like kind of party.
They're on their way to start partying and they're kind of being a big head to Crystal Lake.
Yeah, they're headed. They're all going to this area around Crystal Lake, this little town.
But he's the most intimidating Jason yet.
Because this one's newer, I didn't really go through.
I don't want to go through the whole plot and tell everything that happens because a lot of people haven't seen it yet.
It also because it's a reboot, it gets that same bullshit that everything gets.
Oh, it's a reboot. It's not Jason. It's somebody else playing him.
So you got that same bullshit that always happens before anybody sees a movie.
And so it wasn't that successful. But it's a very good Jason.
It's a. It's got great kills.
Reboot Jason, he's so scary. He's smart.
He doesn't just lumber after you swing his machete around.
No, he's he's like he stalks you. He lays traps like it saw, dude.
Yeah, no, it's it's like they took the way the killer and saw works and made Jason work like that.
Now in this case, the two questions, one, can he teleport?
Well, I mean, they don't show him teleporting, but like in all of them, he can get places very fast.
But they explain it in this one. That's later on. I was going to talk about it.
There are catacombs under Camp Crystal Lake.
So he travels from place to place underground.
Yeah, there wasn't a catacomb on that ladder on that ship.
I didn't watch that movie. I understand. I don't understand why you're bringing it up.
Are you saying it like he's the filmmaker?
It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
I'm not mad at you. I'm just saying that this motherfucker can teleport.
I was just wondering if they brought that into this motherfucker can teleport.
You're saying he also should have been this should have been named the Jason Olympics
because this son of a bitch, speaking of Rambo earlier, your 30 year theory started to make a lot of sense
because this guy can shoot an arrow from 300 yards right through somebody's eye.
He can practice. He throws an axe from 200 yards.
Lives at a red fair. Yeah, exactly.
But he must spend a lot of time practicing.
I like that plot device, though, of having the catacombs underneath everything.
Yeah, catacombs. Yeah, it's a cool plot device.
Basically, the first kids figured I figured he was pissed because they were trying to steal his pot plants
because this movie is basically based around them trying to get to this giant field of pot.
Is it really? Yeah. Yeah.
They're trying to find a secret field of pot. Yeah, the original kids.
Secret field of pot. Yeah.
Real quick. You know, I mean, I hate the tangent, but
have you guys ever seen The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio?
No.
It's like, it's one of those underrated, like, he goes to a beach in Thailand or whatever,
but he comes across a field of pot and then finds out real quick that it's not like it's not guarded.
And it gets pretty intense. It's a good movie.
I highly recommend it. I regret for this, even though we don't do that for these.
Watch The Beach with Leo.
I would say this is this movie is available on I think it's Google,
which is always fun because I was on Disney watching. I just think that's always interesting.
It's fun to watch the show on Disney Plus.
There's no reason to find it fun because here's because it's been available since day one.
So it's not like it's not like a new feature that we're like, is right.
Disney Plus didn't they bring our content?
No, not at all.
It's when they bought Fox and Hulu and they only put Hulu on to there about three months ago.
OK, never mind. I was thinking that they always used to be able to access that stuff from Disney.
Yeah. And then they made a beta about six months ago. And then like three months ago, everybody got it.
But it's crazy. You'll be on there.
You'll be on there. Little more than one course, Little Mermaid on the other corners. Jason Hicks. It's great.
It's very strange. What do you think? Did you watch a Little Mermaid, the remake?
No, I haven't. I just haven't seen it.
Why didn't you? It's been up because I was watching the 37 movies you have me watch every movie in the room.
Have you have you have you seen it?
Boston what seemed like the new Little Mermaid, the remake?
No, I will. When it's on Disney. I don't even know if it's on Disney.
It's been up for years. Not for years. It's only a year old movie.
The Little Mermaid. Oh, Austin. Apologize.
The Little Shermaid. They do some cool stuff here, though, like they kill off the final girl.
Well, you're convinced is the final girl. Yeah, I like that.
They kill her the fuck off. And it's a different girl. It's a final girl.
Who? Because they find his sister. And in this movie, Jason also kidnaps and keeps a girl.
So there's some differences in Jason in this. He's learning. He's smart.
Sex don't work this way. No, he's smart in this. He does. Yeah.
Oh, I fuck good now. He's very smart. In my catacombs.
Great with tools. Does it kills with a bunch of tools. He's like Bob B. You know, gone insane.
What a topical reference. Does Jason meet?
You could have said any other. But I mean, that's not who can.
Who else is there right now? Yeah, you know, Austin, who's a handyman that's real popular right now on the Internet or TV or whatever?
That's all the same time. I don't watch a lot of how to stuff on YouTube.
OK, well, everybody knew what I was talking about.
So it was a fine reference, Andy, but thanks for attacking it anyway.
So does Jason finally get laid in this one? Is he like, oh, shit, I'm going to cook.
This movie, this movie was rated NC 17 and then they had to cut it back.
What happened was and by the way, Michael Bay is a producer on this.
So like, yeah, he he walked out of the screening.
He was pissed because he was a producer on it and was involved quite a bit as you look at the stories behind it.
But then something happened in the cut that he didn't like, which was the NC 17, because it has.
Listen, there are probably 30 titties in this movie and some full on nudity.
Other than that, wonderful. And some full on sex.
Other than that, it's it's very it's got unsimulated photographic water off its own simulator.
It didn't go to that level, but it's close enough to get NC 17.
And then they cut it to get the are Michael Bay back on board.
Michael Bay. But yeah, they literally everyone except the sister who's the final girl.
Everyone but her shows their tits and backs.
It's just I could see every other day being like, look, as he's putting on the Jason Matt, Jason's going to fuck you.
But when Michael Bay says it's too much, it might actually be too much.
I think that I was reading other explosions. No, I was looking through trivia.
I was looking through which one to watch and I came across I think it I don't know which one it is.
Five, six or whatever. But they.
One of them had they had to cut out, they released a version and one of the girls they used was 16 at the time.
They showed her fully naked and they released it.
And then so they once they found out, they took it all back.
But some motherfucker had it on VHS.
I don't think for pervy reasons, because he was like a video collector guy more or more or less.
That's what they said. Like he just archived shit.
And some dudes found him and got it. And then they took that copy, kept the they cut out the underage nudity part,
but they kept the other stuff that was cut, which was like some other NC 17 style kills.
Yeah. So yeah, they did the same thing with the Romeo and Juliet.
Because they were like 16 at the time, but they made the movie in Italy and they made us watch it in school.
So me in school being underage was like, oh, my. Yeah.
Like there's a part where Juliet's naked and you see your full on 16 year old tits and being 16 at the time watching that.
Oh, yeah. But no, later you're like, that's kind of fucked up.
I didn't know that they were 16 at the time. I thought they were full on adults.
But now just recently they're suing they're suing that director.
Really? Yeah, the Italian director like, hey, we were kids and you filmed us naked.
They're suing the Italian director? Oh, it's OK. It's Italy. You know, it's OK.
It's fine. It's OK. I saw his meatballs.
Listen, the other things on this, the idiots put him in the lake at the end so that they could do the same final scene where he comes back up.
And it just cuts off. And then Mike, real quick, though. Yeah, that it's not it's not a bad way to feel like right now.
Let's say Wolverine comes in. He's an unstoppable force.
But let's say we overpower him. We have gas that can knock him out or whatever.
Briefly, I think the best thing to do from that point on would be we put him in a concrete.
We put him in like a we had adamantium, we put him in an adamantium box, fill it with adamantium, seal it and then drop it in the middle of the ocean and tell no one and then kill ourselves so that no one ever finds out that he exists.
That's what you would do with like adjacent.
So like if you had adjacent and unstoppable killing machine or whatever, you would you don't have adamantium.
So you put him in like a concrete box filled with concrete, close it, drop it to the bottom of the ocean, not a lake that people go through all the time. And then you tell no one ever.
And then you leave. Great. You need to make one of these movies because these guys don't know how to do it.
They just throw his body right in the damn lake where he always goes back.
Does pre-marital sex just like feel his strength, like anger, feel the hole?
Well, then he hears the cries of semen from a hundred miles out of shore.
And what and then and then I rated this movie four out of five.
But I was a three originally until I set back and thought about the soundtrack.
This thing has a great soundtrack.
Are we talking the instrumental score stuff?
Soundtrack or like, no, they play a lot of music in this movie or the popular music, popular music playing.
All these in kind of mixed. Yes. A lot of 2000 Sister Christian, Freak Your Loneliness.
These bands are so well, you know, that's that's a song.
Night Ranger, Sister Christian was the one I like it.
I love it. What? Which one's the thing you said to night Rangers, the band I've never heard of them.
Sister Christian. You don't know that song. Yeah. OK.
Wow. Interesting life you've led, Andy, to not hear of that song.
That was like a number one song for like three years in the in the 90s.
Is this a nominee for high scores? Yeah.
What was that? I scored that high score that we will come out.
Whatever. Just a great soundtrack to it.
Four out of five. I wasn't sure the shit on the soundtrack.
I just didn't know who it was, Mike. I wasn't.
That's amazed me that you didn't know it was amazing.
You said a bunch of things I didn't even like five.
I know I didn't recognize any of it. You don't know Tic Tic Boom by Saliva.
Yes. I had that whole album. Yeah.
It's the hives, though, that perform. Saliva had a hot chick on the cover of the album.
I like it. I love it. I want more of it. You know that song, right?
Yeah, I think so. OK. Check.
Click Boom. Is that the one you were talking about?
Yeah. And a lot of these that I don't know, but we're just good songs.
OK. Yeah. When did they use click, click, boom? Ka ka boom.
Boom. OK. Cool. Probably one of the six.
Well, we did it, everybody. Like it matters.
We Friday the 13th on a Saturday. The fucking.
What about the whole series? What we say about Jason?
Because there's so many bad, so many cheesy and some good cover them all.
I would say, yeah, ten sounds great or ten X. Jason X is the one you put on at a party.
You can put it on X. Jason X is great. That's a top.
That's a top. I need to watch this. I haven't seen this one.
I want to watch now because it actually sounds like a good movie.
It's actually a good movie. It sounds great.
I know the remake was directed by one of the like one of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre directors.
So like people, one of the critiques was that like it's very similar to Texas Chainsaw Massacre,
which was originally based off of Friday the one with what's her fucking name.
So it's kind of like inception. Yeah.
The like 2003 Texas Chainsaw. The scary one. That one scared the fuck out of me as a kid.
But it's also the brother is one of the guys from Supernatural.
Wait, scroll up. Who's my wife in that one? Which one?
Oh, I could change. So who's your wife?
What's her name? Oh, yeah, she's hot. Yeah.
Yeah. What's her name?
It's funny. There's like a there's a scene where it's like an overhead shot.
Jessica Beal. Yeah. Jessica Beal is like it's like an overhead shot of her like helping a guy that's like her in the bathroom or something.
And you get like just a glimpse of ass crack.
And being a kid, you're like, oh, hell yeah.
I was like that was one of those special pause moments.
So if you're listening, Jessica Beal, this is what she's up to now.
What? That's just the costume. It's the costume.
Yeah. Yeah. The most memorable scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre was Dwight as a mermaid.
Oh, my God. Not memorable for me. I don't know what you're talking about.
Dwight when he's like, well, he's dead.
Like his body would they like cut him up and like put him kind of like it was like a mermaid looking thing made of made of a bunch of body parts.
Oh, gross. I don't remember that.
The fucked up one was where he hangs that guy on a hook and he's like tapping the piano.
Yeah, there's a whole game where you can escape from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre people or Jason, right?
We didn't do Texas Chainsaw Massacre this year, did we? No.
Well, catch us next year with Saw. We'll do we'll do Texas Chainsaw.
We'll do Saw. We'll do we'll do Scream. We'll do Halloween.
We're going to do more famous tears. We're trying to think a little bit outside the box, a little more freedom.
We're feeling it out. This is our first Halloween season.
Join us tomorrow for the Freddie versus Jason.
Right. Join us tomorrow for Freddie versus Jason.
You know something cool I heard about when I was doing research on these is when Freddie versus Jason originally how they wanted it to end,
but they couldn't get the rights was that Jason and Freddie both kill each other.
They go to hell where they meet Pinhead, but they couldn't get the rights to pinhead so they couldn't do it.
I mean, that'd be dope. That'd be so like that could have been one of those universes that just continued.
You get Freddie versus Jason, Freddie versus Jason versus Pinhead, Freddie versus Jason versus Pinhead versus Michael.
Well, see, there's so many there's so many different combinations of these things.
And the Bravers Jason took 10 years to fucking make.
And when it finally came out, it fucking did great.
And so like they could do Leprechaun versus Chucky. They could do fucking make these fucking things.
They really could. What's stopping them?
Greed and money. You've got to get them to agree on the money.
If they tell you this, wouldn't you go see Leprechaun versus Chucky?
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.
But I'd go see it. Would you go see it in theaters?
Say just say yes. Probably. Yes, I would.
Yes, I would.
I you know what, though?
I think a lot of a lot of companies are sleeping on the fact that you just you can do really convincing computer animation now.
I would take one of these movies as a CGI movie.
How does how do you guys feel about that?
Like not I'm not saying I'm not saying we get the next Friday the 13th movie is CGI.
But what about a CGI Freddie versus Jason with Pinhead with Chucky with like we get like a monster fighting?
I think if you're going to go CGI, you go really hard, though, because then you can get away with more.
Sure. So you like really gory over the top.
Like it's all CGI. So no one can really get mad.
It's like a video game. I'd like to see one like an anime kind of that kind of animation.
That'd be fun, too. Like they did Star Wars Visions and all those different art styles.
They told that'd be cool. Just anime is like super gory.
Well, yeah, just what got animated recently. Justice League and Rick and Morty.
Well, what's that boys universe one that's diabolical, diabolical, but they also have the their visual story with Adam.
There's a visual novel on Steam or Epic Games.
I think that I picked up for free.
But anyway, join us tomorrow for Freddie versus Jason one and two for the Fried Rice podcast.
Actual full episode. Another night of 17 nights of Halloween.
I don't know if we're actually including those nights or if we're not, but whatever.
The numbers don't mean anything here. We did the math months ago. Who gives a fuck?
You got it. We were. This is from us to you. You fucking pumpkin sluts.
So don't worry about the details. Stoner math. It's stoner math.
You pumpkin sluts with me as always is Austin.
Errol with me as always is Michael Larson.
Julius with me as always is Brendan.
Please wake up.