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Shhhhhh...

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That's so hard!

3
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Oh my god!

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Shhhhhh...

5
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I hope everybody's ready to be scared!

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Shhhhhh...

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And welcome!

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Welcome to...

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To another frightening episode!

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Ha ha!

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Seventeen nights of Halloween!

12
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Friedman Rice Podcast!

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I'm your spooky host,

14
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Andy Rice!

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With me as always,

16
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is Austin Looks Better

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without a hockey mask on,

18
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Barrel! Check me out at Shhhhhh...

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Ha ha ha!

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Shhhhhh...

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With me as always,

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is Michael

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No Matter

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How many times I've tried,

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I can't kill him!

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He just keeps coming back, sequel after sequel after sequel...

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...Larsen!

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Shhhhhh...

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Shhhhhh...

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Chalios!

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With me as always,

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is uh...

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Oh Jesus, what's the Jason theme?

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Can you do it?

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It's Brennan!

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It's Brennan!

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Shhhhhh...

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Shhhhhh...

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Chalios!

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Chalios!

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Chalios!

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Chalios!

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Trying to give real final girl energy today!

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Oh my God!

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I'm high!

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We just did a whole fucking thing before this!

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Alright!

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Shhhhhh...

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This is the funniest, stupidest fucking bullshit!

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Welcome everybody!

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It's the Friday the 13th episode!

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Let's give it a clap!

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Is there actually a Friday the 13th this year?

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Uh, yeah!

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I think there was!

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Ask a tattoo shop!

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I think, no, literally this coming Friday!

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It's gonna be Friday the 13th, yeah!

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This coming up Friday!

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So, yeah! Friday the 13th!

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This one got a release on Friday the 13th?

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On that day?

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Oh shit! No!

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It's September!

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That's reserved for the other...

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This has a very special time it's releasing!

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Oh, I see what you're talking about!

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No!

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It's gonna, like, on the... I think on the 10th...

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Let's just put it on Sunday the 13th!

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Sunday the 13th!

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It's close enough!

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It's still 13th!

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That's what I might call this, Friday the 13th, Sunday the 13th...

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Sunday the 14th...

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I don't know, 15th!

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I'll do the math right!

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So, if you're...

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If you're familiar with the earlier episodes, maybe you're not familiar with the format of the show, but...

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Really, we're just doing a silly Halloween shit!

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In this situation, we picked Friday the 13th, we left it to...

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Our own devices to find and watch whatever we could in the framework of Friday the 13th.

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If there was a show, I would have allowed it.

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If there was a stage play that you went and watched, I would have allowed it.

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If you read a whole novel about it, I would have allowed it.

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Video game, I would have allowed.

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I think we all went with movies this time.

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But...

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The medium is open to talk about.

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I don't know if I've stressed the rules at all until we just got to the end of this, but...

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It doesn't matter.

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You made it clear with Carrie Diaries.

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Yeah, yeah.

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It definitely made it clear with Carrie Diaries.

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Well...

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Yeah, you'll find that out, look for that later.

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So...

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Let's just get into it.

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I...

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We discussed earlier, well we just found out that...

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None of us picked the same movie.

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So...

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We're going to go with the latest to...

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Did we go earliest to latest last time?

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I would be last then, I think, unless you did one...

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Unless we go latest to earliest.

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So let's do...

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Okay, let's do that.

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How about let's do who has the latest movie?

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Mine was 2009.

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So yours was the remake?

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Mine was the remake, yeah.

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Okay, and yours was?

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I did number 6.

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Alright, I did number 8.

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I did Jason X.

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Well actually, the remake, no.

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Let's get to you last because it's the remake.

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Let's talk about the other ones first.

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It starts in the beginning, right?

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Alright, so then let's go with...

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I'm 8.

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You're 6.

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Let's go 6, we'll go backwards the other way.

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Backwards?

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You mean normal?

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We're going to go forward.

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Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh.

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Shhh, shhh, shhh.

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Shhh, shhh, shhh.

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Alright, yeah.

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So Friday the 13th's number 6 is Jason Lives.

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So this one is after Jason has died.

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And I think he died in 4.

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He dies in all of them?

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He gets unmasked in all of them.

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Yeah, yeah.

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This one he starts out, it starts out with Tommy,

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who I guess was a kid in number 4,

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played by Feldman, Corey Feldman.

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Okay, oh god.

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He's now grown up, it's not Corey Feldman anymore,

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it's a different actor,

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but he's like, I gotta go, I gotta take care of Jason.

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His friend's like, he's already dead, dude, what do you mean?

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No, we're going to the graveyard.

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So they're going to the graveyard where Jason was buried.

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They dig up Jason,

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they open his coffin,

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and he's basically like a juicy, decaying body.

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And he's got mealworms and maggots all over him.

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And Tommy has like gas.

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Is there a gas can in this?

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No, they brought the mask with them,

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that they bury with them and burn with them.

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What's the deal with the mask?

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Did anyone watch any of the original shit?

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He finds it, like originally he was just like,

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had a fucked up face,

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and he looked scary,

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and then he kills somebody that had a hockey mask,

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and he just decides to put it on.

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That was in 3.

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And I got a different mask story.

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Okay.

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So everyone gets a mask in a different way?

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Yeah, sounds like it.

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He doesn't get it until the third movie or something.

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Because in 2, well 1 is his mom,

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2 is him,

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but he's wearing a bag over his head,

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and then 3 he gets the mask.

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And then from there on.

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It just stayed right there.

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So they dig up the body,

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they open the casket,

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and he's there.

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And instead of just immediately setting him on fire,

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Tommy goes and rips a pole off of the fence,

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metal pole,

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and it's already starting to storm.

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And he goes and stabs Jason a few times,

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and he's like yelling at him,

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and then leaves him at stake,

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and then he climbs out of the grave,

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with a metal pole, a metal rod, and a lightning storm.

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You see where this is going.

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So he gets electrocuted,

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and reanimated, and brought back to life.

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And as he's basically like coming

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and attacking Tommy,

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well first he kills Tommy's friend,

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the first kill, first death,

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Jason punches through the guy's heart,

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and pushes him into his empty casket,

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and then the lid shuts.

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That's Tommy's friend?

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In front of Tommy, Tommy sees his happen.

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He's like no!

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And then he's like kind of running away,

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and then he grabs the gasoline,

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and pours it on Jason,

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and he goes to light the matches,

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and it starts to rain.

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Tommy runs away, and gets away from Jason,

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and Jason grabs his mask, puts his mask back on,

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his rotting face,

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and he's zombie Jason.

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And then,

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so like he's,

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Tommy's going back to town,

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and then you get a random couple,

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camp counselors,

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driving through the woods,

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and they're on there like oh we're lost,

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counselors can't get lost on their way to camp,

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this is crazy.

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And she stops the car all of a sudden,

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and he's like why'd you stop?

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And she's like well, I've seen enough horror movies

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to know that a person in a mask is not good.

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And Jason's just in the middle of the road

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with the mask, with the metal rod,

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and he's like well,

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back up, like turn around.

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And she goes to like turn around,

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and then she kind of like almost goes off the road,

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and he's like wait no we can't,

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like let's just scare him.

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So they decide to try to like run him off the road,

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and it doesn't work, Jason just stands there,

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and they slam on the brakes,

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and then Jason just stabs the rod through the tire,

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pops the tire, and she's like nope,

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I'm backing this bitch up, and he's like no,

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I'll get out, I got a gun.

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So he grabs a little 22 revolver,

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and gets out, and he's like go away,

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and Jason's just staring at him menacingly,

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and he's like I'll shoot you,

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and as he's shooting him, Jason stabs him,

242
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kills him, and then

243
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the girl is like freaking out,

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Jason stabs through the car,

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misses the girl, she climbs out the side,

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and ends up in like a ditch,

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and she's just like freaking out,

248
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and like sees Jason, and she closes her eyes,

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and opens him, and he's gone, and it's like okay,

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I guess she gets to live. Nope, Jason comes back,

251
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and just stabs her through the head,

252
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and that's second and third death.

253
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Then the fourth death,

254
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now they kind of flash forward a little bit,

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Tommy's been arrested by the cop,

256
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because the cop is like you're trying to scare everybody,

257
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like we changed the name of the town from

258
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Crystal Lake to, I forget what they changed it,

259
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
it's like Green Lake or something,

260
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000
they changed it to a different name,

261
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to try to forget the memory of Jason.

262
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Well we're not Crystal Lake anymore,

263
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we're Green Lake.

264
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
I would just call it like Misty Town,

265
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000
or you know, like it's changed to anything.

266
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000
It might not be Lake, it might be something else,

267
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000
it could just be my brain associating weird,

268
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got it.

269
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000
But so, the cop arrests him,

270
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arrests Tommy,

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and Tommy's like no, Jason's alive,

272
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we need to go get him,

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00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
and he's like no, you're bringing this shit in,

274
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
this is bullshit, you're staying in here.

275
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
And the cop's daughter is basically

276
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
all over,

277
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
she's one of the counselors, and she's all over,

278
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000
Tommy, who's in jail,

279
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000
and she's like oh he's a bad boy,

280
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000
that's hot.

281
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000
Cops like no, you get out of here,

282
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000
leave that guy alone, he's crazy.

283
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
He was in a mental institution for years.

284
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
So the fourth death,

285
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
you get, it's now the next day,

286
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
and there's like these kind of like

287
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000
tech company people walking around

288
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000
playing paintball in the woods,

289
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000
and they're like on teams,

290
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000
and then

291
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,000
one of the guys gets killed by like the girl,

292
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000
and he's all pissed off and brooding,

293
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000
and he's just like slashing trees with a machete,

294
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
and just like bitching like I can't believe she got me,

295
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
like this is bullshit, blah blah blah,

296
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000
and like he goes and reaches back,

297
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000
and Jason like grabs his arm with the machete,

298
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000
and like rips his arm off

299
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
while throwing him across,

300
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000
and then he gets into a tree

301
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
that has a smiley face carved into it,

302
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
where his face hit, now the smiley face is red and bloody.

303
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000
So that's the fourth.

304
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
Now he writes on the back,

305
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
now I have a machete.

306
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
I have a machete, and an arm,

307
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000
because the arm's still attached to the machete.

308
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
Oh wow.

309
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000
And then, uh,

310
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
extra reach.

311
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000
Sort of, right, if you got the end of the arm.

312
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000
Hit people from twice as long

313
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000
of a way.

314
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
It would be silly, but it would work.

315
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000
Then like a scene or two later,

316
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000
you get deaths five, six, and seven.

317
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000
All in one shot.

318
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
Three heads cut off at one time with just one swing.

319
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Three more people playing paintball.

320
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
And then you get the last remaining guy

321
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
from their group,

322
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
who's like a really nerdy looking guy

323
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000
with glasses, and he's like dropping his gun

324
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000
and all fumbling around and everything.

325
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
He sees Jason after he killed them,

326
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
and he's like, oh, shoots him with the paintball gun,

327
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
does nothing,

328
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
and runs off, and then you kind of just assume

329
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
that he either made it or Jason got him.

330
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
You don't know what happened until later.

331
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Uh...

332
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Jason doesn't forget.

333
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000
Look, there's one thing that I've noticed about Jason.

334
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000
And this may be the first thing.

335
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000
And it's...

336
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
Just...

337
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000
But he, uh,

338
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
he, uh,

339
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
dude, he doesn't forget shit.

340
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
It's like he picks a target, and then just,

341
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
he's on that target until

342
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
they're dead.

343
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
So, then,

344
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000
there's also a groundskeeper

345
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,000
character that they kind of introduce and go

346
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
back and forth from. Like, first he sees Jason's

347
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000
grave dug up, and he's like drunk,

348
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000
and he's like, I tend these grounds, I graduated

349
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000
high school, I deserve this job, and he's like

350
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000
an old man, and he's like, they ain't getting me,

351
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
and he buries, you know, covers the body

352
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
up again, covers the hole up, and he's like,

353
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
these kids ain't getting me, I don't know why they would dig him up.

354
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
And, uh,

355
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000
so you get him walking

356
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
through the forest, drinking out of his bottle,

357
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,000
and just talking to his bottle of liquor, like,

358
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000
oh, you're my, you're my darling,

359
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
like, you've been the best to me, like, but you're also gonna be

360
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
the death of me as he's finishing the bottle.

361
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,000
And he goes to throw the bottle behind him,

362
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
listen for the crash,

363
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
here's no crash, huh?

364
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000
Turns and sees Jason with the bottle,

365
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
Jason breaks the bottle and stabs him in the

366
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
neck with the broken glass shards.

367
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
So he went back to his own grave site?

368
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
Yeah, like, well, cause he's still in the forest,

369
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000
like, he's still in the forest surrounding

370
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
the camp.

371
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,000
So this is Rambo Jason.

372
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,000
Pretty much. He's out there.

373
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Rambo Jason!

374
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
He's making his way to the camp, like,

375
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
so, he went further away,

376
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
the wrong way, and now he's making his way

377
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
back to the camp.

378
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000
So he went back and killed

379
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000
that, just that poor guy.

380
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
Another thing is, at least I get

381
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
why Freddie,

382
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
for instance,

383
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
kills, or goes after his victims,

384
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
children of the people that,

385
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
he's just a harmless groundskeeper.

386
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Harmless, drunk groundskeeper,

387
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
littering in the forest.

388
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
So Jason's protecting the forest.

389
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000
I loved all those kids.

390
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000
But, uh,

391
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000
but Jason, though,

392
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
I don't get it.

393
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
He, maybe, like, kill the ones that

394
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000
let him drown. Fuck it. Yeah, okay.

395
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
He's an unstoppable evil force.

396
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Yeah, he really is.

397
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
He's just evil. But in this one, he's a zombie.

398
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
Kind of.

399
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
Now you see that... Like he's undead.

400
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,000
He's been brought back from death. I'm confused.

401
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000
He's always brought back from death.

402
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
I'm confused because... But this time he was, like,

403
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000
decaying, and everything, like, they showed his face

404
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
and he's decaying, and he looks like zombified.

405
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
He died as a kid. That's the

406
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
canonical backstory, correct? Yeah.

407
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
He died as a kid. His mom got mad

408
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
and killed the teenagers that were responsible,

409
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
or killed some other teenagers,

410
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
which was mad or whatever. I haven't watched the first couple.

411
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,000
I haven't watched the second couple.

412
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000
But then the second one is

413
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
him, the boy version of him, right?

414
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
With the bag over his head?

415
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
Or is it a man version of him?

416
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Man version of him with the bag over his head.

417
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000
So he didn't die?

418
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
So he survived the drowning?

419
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
He became, like, brain dead or something?

420
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Just possessed by evil at the bottom of the lake?

421
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000
They muddy it up. The movie's self-aware.

422
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
The movies are all self-aware.

423
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
But I'm having a hard time with this

424
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
because, like, did he survive

425
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000
or didn't? Because you keep saying

426
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000
this is the first undead Jason.

427
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
Either

428
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
he died as a kid and he's been

429
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
undead Jason the whole time. Well, because I can't remember

430
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000
if Jason goes to hell as before

431
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000
or after this one. But that's when they kind of

432
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
changed everything and Jason became, like,

433
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
an evil entity spirit that's like...

434
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000
I think it all changed when he put the hockey

435
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,000
mask on in 3. So then that's

436
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
actually basically

437
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
the first Jason, as we all know him.

438
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
So then it took on its own, okay,

439
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
oh, fuck, that hockey mask was a good fucking idea.

440
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000
Let's keep going.

441
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
I'll Wikipedia it later.

442
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000
So

443
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
deaths

444
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000
9 and 10

445
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
were a cut in another couple

446
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000
that witnessed him kill the

447
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000
groundskeeper and they're running

448
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
away and get on like a little, like, moped,

449
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
motorcycle, whatever, trying to get away.

450
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
As they're trying to start it, Jason

451
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
stabs both of them at the same time with the machete.

452
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000
They're dead.

453
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,000
And

454
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000
the 11th and 12th

455
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
deaths

456
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
were like two counselors that were

457
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
basically fooling around in RV.

458
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,000
Basically they're having sex, the girl's

459
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000
on top and she's like going to

460
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
the beat of the song and he's like,

461
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000
how much longer? And she's like, well, it's only like 10 more minutes.

462
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
And he's like, oh, god, like

463
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
Oh, he can't hold on? Yeah.

464
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
He can't hold on for 10 more minutes.

465
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
And so they're like having sex for a minute

466
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000
to a song and then all of a sudden

467
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
the power goes out and like

468
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000
he finishes and she's like,

469
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000
oh, did you finish? And he's like, well, when the song

470
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
ended, like, it ended.

471
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000
And she's like, well, the power is out. Go check it out.

472
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000
And so he gets out of the RV

473
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
to go look at the power plug and everything.

474
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Can we just address for just a second?

475
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
If

476
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
I was in a, like, if I was having

477
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
sex with someone and some

478
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
chick and she was like, I want

479
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
to do it to this song and I want

480
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000
you to get, I want you to finish

481
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
the song right at the end of the song.

482
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Who can time?

483
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
Better be a short song.

484
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
How

485
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
what speed are we listening to the song in?

486
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
Are we listening to, uh,

487
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
Pink Floyd's, uh,

488
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Shine On, you crazy

489
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
diamond, parts one through four.

490
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Dogs. That's why I don't

491
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
date girls who are

492
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
fans of Tool. Yeah.

493
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
Yeah.

494
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
But fuck.

495
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Yeah, I mean, but that's just

496
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000
a little weird. It's just a little weird.

497
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
Like, it's a little weird to

498
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000
I get fucking the music.

499
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
They're like eighties, teenage.

500
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
Okay. I don't care what decade you are.

501
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
It's just

502
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
putting someone on a time constraint. That's a lot of pressure

503
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
to put on someone. It's like just enjoy the moment.

504
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
Live in the moment. Be in the moment.

505
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
Be present. What happens after?

506
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
What happens after? So

507
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
he goes outside to check the power.

508
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
And he's like looking at the cord

509
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
and he pulls it out of the RV and he's like

510
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000
that looks fine. Going down to the

511
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000
cord and sees that it's cut.

512
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Oh shit. And then all of a sudden you hear a

513
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000
sound and it's the girl came out of the RV like

514
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000
are you done yet? And she's like well

515
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000
this, this wasn't unplugged.

516
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Like something happened.

517
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000
She's like gosh, someone's messing with us.

518
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
Like let's go. And so they go back in the

519
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000
RV and he goes to start it.

520
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000
And it doesn't start.

521
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Go figure. The battery's dead. And she's like

522
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
well no you idiot. And switches from

523
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000
like whatever to the battery

524
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000
power so they can start the RV.

525
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
And he's like oh okay. It starts up immediately.

526
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
Start driving. And they get on the

527
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000
road. They're driving back down to camp. He's

528
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
driving crazy. He's going all over in the RV

529
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
like what? Slow down.

530
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Like oh it's fun. Turns on the radio.

531
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,000
Oh he's driving crazy for no reason.

532
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000
He's like fast reversing. And she's

533
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
standing in the back of the RV and she's

534
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000
flying around and shit?

535
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Violently? Violently. She lands

536
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
in the bed in the very back. And

537
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
she like gets up and starts walking through the hall

538
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000
and she's like what are you doing? And he's like

539
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,000
oh we're having fun. Cranks up the radio.

540
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,000
And then the bathroom

541
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
door busts open. Jason's in the

542
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
bathroom. Grabs her, pulls her in.

543
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,000
Big old Jason sized shit.

544
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
He's been dead for so long.

545
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000
He strangles her.

546
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,000
And then basically kind of slowly

547
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000
walks out to where the guy's like

548
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000
driving down the road. Now driving on the road

549
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000
so it's not as crazy. Oh so Jason's

550
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000
not flopping around and shit? That would have been

551
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
fucking hilarious if he was just

552
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:42,000
So he sneaks up behind the guy. Stabs him in the side of the head.

553
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000
The RV crashes. Jason

554
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
walks away from the tipped over RV

555
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,000
as it's engulfing in flames.

556
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000
So that's 11 and 12.

557
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000
And then

558
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
so 13th death

559
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000
I guess would be considered the 13th. What I

560
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,000
consider it is the nerdy guy.

561
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
It was off screen death.

562
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000
You would escape to the paintball match?

563
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Yeah, parts of his body. You find a couple legs

564
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
or a leg and an arm.

565
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000
And yeah.

566
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
Everyone else

567
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000
just gets a quick clean death. He got ripped

568
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
apart by a monster.

569
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,000
And then so the 14th

570
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,000
death. They're back at the camp.

571
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000
Two of the girl counselors

572
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,000
are in their cabin and the kids are sleeping.

573
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
And like

574
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000
one of them keeps hearing noises outside

575
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
the window, the open window, and she kind of just

576
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
gets up and thinks it's the other counselors

577
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,000
messing with her. She's like, come on guys, why are you

578
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000
messing around? And like she hears like

579
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000
footsteps go up underneath like the window

580
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,000
seal. So she does like a can of soda

581
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000
and like pours it out

582
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000
expecting someone to get up and be like, oh

583
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
why did you do that? And

584
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,000
nothing happens. So she kind of like stands up

585
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
and she like gets closer to the window.

586
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
Jason, just take a face full of soda.

587
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
They never really explained

588
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
it. But is that what we're

589
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
assuming? Because if someone's at the window, it's Jason.

590
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000
She pours soda out the window

591
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000
still thinking someone's going to be like,

592
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,000
ah, he got me. But it's just Jason

593
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,000
going,

594
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000
yummy, mountain dude.

595
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Soda yum.

596
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,000
But so, yeah,

597
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
that's what we're assuming. And then as she

598
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
gets close to the window, she gets pulled out

599
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
of the window by Jason.

600
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000
And the other counselor is just like

601
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,000
laying in bed, like be quiet, like I'm

602
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
trying to sleep. And

603
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:28,000
she gets pulled out of the window,

604
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,000
immediately gets her head turned around

605
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000
and she's dead.

606
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
And then, um,

607
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
yeah.

608
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
Uh, that was

609
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
the fourteenth death.

610
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,000
Did the chick in the bag get killed?

611
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000
No. So he goes in there

612
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
and as he goes in there to like get

613
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,000
close to her,

614
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
he hears something. Like you

615
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000
think it's him coming in and it ends up being one

616
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000
of the little girls, uh, one of the girls.

617
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
And she comes in with the bloody machete.

618
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000
And she's like, I found this

619
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,000
outside. And like, the counselor's like,

620
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
oh, it's just some of the other counselors messing with you.

621
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
Let's go back to bed. How much of this

622
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,000
movie, at least five times you said

623
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,000
somebody finds something suspicious.

624
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
And they're like, eh, just somebody messing with us.

625
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
No. If I found a bloody

626
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,000
machete outside, that's some

627
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000
serious shit. I would not, yeah, I'd definitely

628
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
be like, let's get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

629
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,000
It's time to go. Something's not going great.

630
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,000
We found a thumb once.

631
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,000
Well, we were, my friends and I, we were, we found

632
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,000
an abandoned house. Yeah. And we found someone like cut off

633
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,000
thumb, like a bloody severed thumb

634
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000
in the, in the, and it looked fresh enough

635
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,000
to be like, we need, we should get out of here. Yeah.

636
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Did you call the cops?

637
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,000
It's not our

638
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
business.

639
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000
We should get the fuck out of here.

640
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
Get the fuck out of here. We were teenagers.

641
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,000
Okay.

642
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,000
Uh, so, yeah, so she walks the girl

643
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000
back to her cabin and is like, just go to sleep.

644
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Like, it's fine. Like, there's nothing wrong.

645
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
We're here. We're protecting you. And, uh,

646
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000
she goes back to her cabin.

647
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,000
And when she goes in,

648
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,000
door shuts. And then you

649
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,000
basically see, like, the door pops open and

650
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000
she's like, what? You know. And like, goes

651
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
up to close the door. And, uh,

652
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
as she gets close to closing the door, like, the wind

653
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000
blows and it blows it shut. She's like, ah,

654
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,000
it freaks out. And she starts

655
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
laughing. She's like, oh, okay, that was silly.

656
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Goes to shut it all the way. Then Jason

657
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
busts in the door. Comes in the

658
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
door. The door kind of shuts. And then you get

659
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000
an off-screen death of just the blood splatter

660
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000
throughout the cabin. And so that

661
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
was her death. That was the sleeping girl?

662
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,000
That was the sleeping counselor. She woke up.

663
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,000
Not the little girl, but the counselor.

664
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Does he kill any little kids with it?

665
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,000
No. But he, like, he was going

666
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
to and then doesn't. Like,

667
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,000
he gets distracted by other sounds.

668
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
God. Yeah. Uh, and that was

669
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,000
the fifteenth death. Uh,

670
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000
and then, so,

671
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000
now you get the sixteenth.

672
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
So after that, kind of,

673
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000
um, Tommy

674
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
has basically been, uh, got out

675
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
of jail somehow. I don't remember. He broke

676
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,000
out and then, uh, kind of goes

677
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,000
around. So the cops at this point assume that

678
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,000
he's the one doing all the killings because they're starting to find

679
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000
bodies. It makes sense. And so they're like,

680
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,000
no, it's Tommy. Like, he's trying to establish

681
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
the Jason lore. And,

682
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
uh, the cops end up catching up with Tommy

683
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
again with, with his daughter.

684
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000
You get, uh, the daughter's like,

685
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
you know, meet me here. And so they meet up.

686
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000
Every time you say Tommy, I'm thinking

687
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,000
Power Rangers.

688
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,000
You can't help it.

689
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,000
The dragon flute? Yeah.

690
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,000
I think he is wearing a red shirt, so.

691
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,000
Well, Tommy was the green ranger, huh?

692
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,000
Tommy was green and white. Green and white.

693
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
I could see it. Power Rangers versus Jason.

694
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,000
He just chops him with the machete, but for some reason

695
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,000
sparks fly.

696
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Actually, I think Tommy was also red a few times.

697
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,000
I thought he was.

698
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
He was, he lasted until

699
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000
he died.

700
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,000
I think he was like in the most, one of the

701
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,000
more recent incarnations of it.

702
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,000
He was like the Zordog

703
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,000
character. Even a few iterations

704
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
of it. It's like, it's, yeah. No,

705
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
he's not Zordog. It's like he's their,

706
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,000
he's their principal leader.

707
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000
He's there for a few years. He's their older guy

708
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,000
telling him what to do. Okay.

709
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
He's not a disembodied head.

710
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
He's a, he walks away.

711
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
So.

712
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:12,000
So.

713
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,000
So.

714
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000
So.

715
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000
Yeah, Tommy and the

716
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Sheriff's daughter.

717
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
This episode's gonna be called

718
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
KKK.

719
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
The description's

720
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000
just gonna say KKK

721
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,000
over and over again.

722
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
Go ahead.

723
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
So, Tommy's with the

724
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Sheriff's daughter

725
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000
and she's driving. He's in the passenger

726
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,000
seat. She's got like a, you know,

727
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,000
American-made fast car, of

728
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,000
a sort.

729
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,000
And they're driving and she's like, oh, we can go back

730
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,000
to the camp. And they come across a roadblock

731
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:50,000
and she's like, get down.

732
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000
Puts his head in her lap. And he's

733
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
just like looking at her crotch.

734
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000
And she's like, okay. She's like, stay down there. He's like,

735
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,000
as you say so. So,

736
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,000
she's like, she flips around and

737
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000
runs away from the cops.

738
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,000
And like cops are following

739
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,000
them. Little high-speed chase.

740
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000
And then it ends

741
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000
basically with her at another roadblock

742
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,000
that her dad's there

743
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
with the gun, with the shotgun pointed. And she's like,

744
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000
get out of, you know, come out of the car.

745
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:18,000
And, you know, he lifts his head up from

746
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000
her lap and he's like, oh, shit.

747
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000
It's your dad.

748
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000
Now, real quick. Was she wearing

749
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
clothing that would be?

750
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
She was wearing jeans, like tight jeans.

751
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Okay, so he wasn't getting like a full D or any of the good.

752
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,000
No, no. Just faced right in her crotch.

753
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000
Got it. Okay.

754
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000
So, they arrest him.

755
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000
They come back to jail.

756
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,000
And like, you know,

757
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,000
then he gets another call about another death.

758
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,000
And they're like, well, what time was the death?

759
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000
And like, he doesn't really say anything about it.

760
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,000
He gets off the phone and he's like, you need to leave him alone.

761
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Like, he's staying here. Dad, what time were the deaths at?

762
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,000
It was like, well, 9, 930.

763
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000
He was with me at that time.

764
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000
Like, it couldn't have been him.

765
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Stay here. I'm going to the camp.

766
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000
So, the dad goes to the camp with the other cops.

767
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,000
And then,

768
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
he leaves one cop there

769
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,000
with Tommy and his daughter.

770
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,000
And, like, his daughter is like,

771
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,000
well, you know, here's a little ruse.

772
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000
Like, we're going to get you out of here.

773
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
So, they kind of like. They've got a little point.

774
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Yeah. They trick the cop.

775
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000
Does she seduce him, the cop?

776
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
No, no. She basically

777
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,000
has like a little notepad.

778
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,000
And he's like, what are you drawing?

779
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000
Like, I'm drawing this or whatever.

780
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
And she like throws it, throws the drawing board at him.

781
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000
And he grabs it, pulls it in.

782
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000
And she's like, I want it back.

783
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000
And then they make out for a second.

784
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,000
Her and Tommy.

785
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000
Through the jail cell.

786
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,000
Through the holding cell.

787
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,000
And the deputy gets up.

788
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,000
He's like, hey! Like, no, stop it.

789
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000
And goes over there. And as he's going over there,

790
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000
Tommy kind of starts to fight with him for a second.

791
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,000
And she pulls out his gun.

792
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,000
And points his gun at the deputy.

793
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:54,000
The deputy's gun at himself.

794
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000
And his gun is like a revolver

795
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
but with like a red dot sight

796
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000
that's like a ridiculous red dot sight.

797
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000
And she's pointing it right at him.

798
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,000
And he turns around, and best line in the movie.

799
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Quit clowning around.

800
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,000
And she says, well, I'm not the one

801
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,000
with the red dot on my nose.

802
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000
It's so cheesy and corny.

803
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000
That's such a bad fucking line.

804
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000
It was great. I loved it.

805
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,000
I'm not the one with the red dot on my nose.

806
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000
You're the clown, homie.

807
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000
You're the clown.

808
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,000
Oh, well, it's such a stupid, stupid line.

809
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,000
It's dumb.

810
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000
But definitely the one that stuck out the most.

811
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,000
So they make it back to the camp.

812
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:34,000
And then Jason's slowly picking off Cop.

813
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:38,000
As they're all kind of like spread out.

814
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:42,000
16th, the Cop.

815
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:46,000
Is walking on a dock looking for Jason.

816
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
And then gets an arrow thrown into his face.

817
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,000
Throw?

818
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Just chucked at his face. Goes right through his eye.

819
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
And Jason just throwing arrows.

820
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,000
Eight point accuracy.

821
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,000
Bullseye.

822
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000
From a dead bull.

823
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,000
From a daredevil.

824
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:06,000
17th, Jason squeezes a Cop's head.

825
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000
Pops his head. Kills him.

826
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,000
18th was an off screen death.

827
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,000
I don't remember what it was.

828
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000
I think it was just another Cop.

829
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000
They come across his body and he's just dead.

830
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:22,000
And then you get kind of the final standoff.

831
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000
And it's the Sheriff and Jason are there.

832
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000
His daughter and Tommy are in the cabin.

833
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,000
Kind of like getting the kids like, get under your beds.

834
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Hide. Like we'll be right back.

835
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,000
And she's screaming, daddy, where are you?

836
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,000
And he's kind of fighting Jason.

837
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000
He's like, I'm going to kill him.

838
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,000
And shoots him three times with a shotgun.

839
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000
Jason's kind of like down, but he keeps getting up.

840
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000
And then he pulls out his sidearm, shoots him a few times.

841
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000
And then kind of just runs off into the woods.

842
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:52,000
And then Jason ends up catching up to him, of course.

843
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000
And the Cop is kind of hiding for a minute.

844
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
And then he hears his daughter calling.

845
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,000
And then Jason turns around to go that way.

846
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,000
And that's when the Cop decides to come back out

847
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:04,000
and try to choke Jason out.

848
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000
Which does not work for him.

849
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000
That's the dumbest fucking idea you could have.

850
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:11,000
Oh really, this guy just shot three times with a shotgun.

851
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,000
He keeps getting back up.

852
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,000
Let me try to jump on his back.

853
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Was it a jump on his back situation?

854
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,000
Jump on his back.

855
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,000
And of course he's way bigger than him,

856
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,000
so he's dangling off of his back.

857
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,000
And he's trying to choke him out.

858
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,000
It's like when your kids jump on your back.

859
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,000
And so what, Jason runs him into a tree a few times?

860
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000
No, he just kind of like throws him over.

861
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,000
Yeah, gets him on the ground.

862
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,000
And then the Cop's just like there for a second.

863
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,000
And then Jason grabs him and folds him in half backwards.

864
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,000
And he's dead.

865
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000
Oh, that's a bad way to fucking die.

866
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
I can imagine someone much bigger than you

867
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,000
just taking you and back like the Batman Bane,

868
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,000
but just go all the way, fold him on, he's snapping him.

869
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,000
Isn't that the one where the guy's like on the little roll of bed

870
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:55,000
and he stabs him in the back and then folds him?

871
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000
That's another one, yeah.

872
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,000
That was gnarly.

873
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000
Not when he folds him forward, this one he folds him backwards.

874
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,000
Oh, so he has like a fold in half sort of fetish.

875
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,000
This weird fucking zombie.

876
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000
It's Jason's thing.

877
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,000
He likes some sandwiches.

878
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,000
So did Jason?

879
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000
Yeah, he likes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

880
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,000
Where was he?

881
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,000
Wait, are people going to – they're not going to understand their reference.

882
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000
That episode from a month ago?

883
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,000
Yeah, it's getting closer and closer.

884
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:24,000
But where was Jason when he was a kid?

885
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:29,000
Like if he came back, why didn't he come back as a kid

886
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,000
and then age to whatever age he is now?

887
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Why did he come back as a full grown adult?

888
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:39,000
So like I'm not – where did he learn how to do –

889
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,000
throw an arrow super fast in like pinpoint accuracy?

890
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:46,000
Was he just – did he just spend 30 years?

891
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,000
Like did he almost drown?

892
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,000
He's like, I'm not going back to that camp.

893
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:50,000
I'm ugly.

894
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,000
No one likes me.

895
00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000
I'm going to go to this woods over here and just train to kill

896
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,000
for 30 years silently, no one to talk to,

897
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,000
and then he just went and started killing people?

898
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000
I don't know.

899
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000
I'm just thinking about it.

900
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000
This thing sounds a little preposterous.

901
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000
All of it.

902
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000
All of it.

903
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:11,000
Just a bit on the preposterous side.

904
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,000
So while the sheriff is getting folded in half by Jason,

905
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,000
Tommy has kind of devised a plan.

906
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,000
He's like, we've got to take Jason back to where he first

907
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
originated from, the middle of the lake.

908
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,000
So he's got a big boulder that he's attached a metal chain to

909
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:27,000
that he's loaded into a canoe, and he's kind of tied like a

910
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:31,000
noose end of the chain, and he's trying to lure Jason

911
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:35,000
into the water, and he lures Jason into the water.

912
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000
Jason slowly walks out, and he gets to the point where it's

913
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000
deeper and deeper, and just before he gets to the canoe,

914
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,000
he ends up underwater, and then the guy's like,

915
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,000
where is he?

916
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,000
That's scary.

917
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,000
Jason underwater when you're in a little boat is the most

918
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000
terrifying situation I can think of.

919
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:55,000
So, yeah, basically, he has Jason first,

920
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,000
you see a bunch of air bubbles, so he's like,

921
00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000
all right, he's coming up right here,

922
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
and he's just holding it ready to throw it on his neck.

923
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
He came up the other side.

924
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
That was a fart.

925
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000
That was a Jason fart.

926
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,000
It was a long one, too.

927
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,000
The only way he's here, he farts to propel himself forward,

928
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000
so when you see the bubbles come up here,

929
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000
he's on the other side of the boat.

930
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,000
Yeah, so he comes up on the other side and attacks Tommy,

931
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,000
and they're like fighting for a second,

932
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,000
and then like he pushes him off, and Jason goes back underwater.

933
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000
Tommy grabs gasoline, pours it around the boat,

934
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,000
lights the gasoline on fire, so the water around the boat is

935
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,000
on fire, and then Jason ends up coming back up,

936
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,000
grabbing Tommy, and then bringing him down underwater,

937
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,000
and as he's like doing this, like Tommy gets the noose

938
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,000
around his neck, the metal chain noose,

939
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,000
and so like he's being held down by the neck,

940
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:47,000
but he's also pulling Tommy down, and as he pulls Tommy down,

941
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,000
he like chokes Tommy out, and then lets go of Tommy

942
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,000
after he passes out from being choked out underwater,

943
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:57,000
and then the girl is in the cabin like kind of like Tommy

944
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,000
like freaking out, and she's like, stay here, kids,

945
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,000
I'll be right back, and like runs and jumps off the dock,

946
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,000
and then goes to like grab Tommy, who's now floating at the top

947
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:10,000
upside down, and so she grabs him and turns him over,

948
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:13,000
and as she's pulling him, she gets grabbed from underwater

949
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:18,000
by Jason, and then Jason's like trying to pull her under,

950
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,000
and she's grabbing onto the boat, which wasn't, I guess,

951
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,000
not a canoe, but it was like a canoe with an engine,

952
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:29,000
and she is starting the boat, and she gets it started,

953
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,000
and then uses the propeller to chop Jason's face up,

954
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:38,000
which kills him, and then she gets back to the shore

955
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:42,000
with Tommy, and then gives him the worst CPR ever,

956
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000
like not, I don't know how he survived,

957
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:48,000
she like taps his chest, she's like, wake up, like no,

958
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:53,000
he spits out water, and he's alive, and then you get

959
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:57,000
the last shot of the movie, is Jason underwater,

960
00:34:57,000 --> 00:35:00,000
and then like he's kind of like, you know, just floating there,

961
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000
and then you see his fist tighten up into a ball,

962
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
and then it zooms in on his eye, and his eyes are moving around.

963
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000
He doesn't have his mask on, right?

964
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,000
He still has his mask on.

965
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000
Okay, that's the end.

966
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Well, what do you rate this one?

967
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:18,000
It's a hard one.

968
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000
It was silly.

969
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
It had a lot of silly lines.

970
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000
It made me laugh.

971
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
It definitely is very tongue-in-cheek.

972
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000
No scary moments really, but I mean, that's Friday the 13th,

973
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
you kind of know what you're in for.

974
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:36,000
So I mean, I guess I'll give it a 3 out of 5.

975
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,000
That has to be the unifying theory here.

976
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:44,000
You did 8, and you did X.

977
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:48,000
Now, I don't know what happened in 7, because you did 6.

978
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
I don't know what happened in 7, but I don't think...

979
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000
It doesn't matter.

980
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,000
I don't think either Jason left the bottom of the lake

981
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,000
and did some shenanigans in 7, and then ended up

982
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,000
exactly back where he ended up in the back,

983
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,000
because in 8, he's at the bottom of a lake chained up.

984
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,000
So I don't know what the fuck happened in 7.

985
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:12,000
Wait, did I watch 7?

986
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000
Did I watch 7? Hold on.

987
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000
Oh, you watched Jason and the Argonauts.

988
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
Fuck, dude.

989
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000
No, I watched 8.

990
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000
You watched Groundhog Day.

991
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:27,000
I watched Friday the 13th, part 8, Jason Takes Manhattan.

992
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:31,000
So you get a really fun opening credits,

993
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:35,000
which is like a cool opening narration from some guy on the radio.

994
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:40,000
You get stereotypical, fun, cheesy 80s music

995
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,000
to all the most disgusting parts of New York.

996
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:48,000
Zooming in on scumbags doing scumbag shit, rats everywhere.

997
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000
It's very fun.

998
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000
It's funny that it's like what you would normally see

999
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:55,000
in a movie trying to paint New York as this beautiful place,

1000
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,000
and it does the opposite, which I love.

1001
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:02,000
And it shows straight-up heroin use.

1002
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,000
Just people melting a spoon and another guy tapping a needle

1003
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,000
and straight-up just injecting while the credits are rolling,

1004
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,000
which I just love. That's just wonderful.

1005
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:17,000
So this is basically a class trip.

1006
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,000
I think something must have happened in 7

1007
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:25,000
because I don't know if they just introduced this dynamic

1008
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:29,000
that I'm supposed to care about, but there's a class trip leaving.

1009
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000
There's two teachers that are chaperones.

1010
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:35,000
One is a woman. A group of students are going.

1011
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:39,000
As they're all getting on the boat, this chick shows up

1012
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:42,000
and goes up to the female teacher, and the female teacher's like,

1013
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,000
I'm so glad you decided to come.

1014
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,000
And the girl's like, yeah, I think New York will be cool to see

1015
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,000
or whatever, and the teacher's like, yeah, and they hug.

1016
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000
And then the male teacher's like, what are you doing?

1017
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000
That's my surrogate daughter that I adopted.

1018
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Why are you hugging her and shit?

1019
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,000
Like, I didn't want you to come, but fine, if you're here, just go.

1020
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000
So they get on the boat.

1021
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:07,000
Her boyfriend, the girl's boyfriend, is the son of the captain,

1022
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,000
and the captain is trying to teach his son how to do the boat.

1023
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:14,000
So he's like, all right, son, this is going to be you.

1024
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000
And he's with his friend, and it's kind of a sad moment

1025
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,000
because he's with his coworker buddy that they've probably been

1026
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,000
maybe co-captain or whatever, and he's like, all right,

1027
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:27,000
I hereby relinquish command of the vehicle to my son, Robert or whatever.

1028
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,000
And he hands the comm over to Robert, and Robert's like,

1029
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,000
they're looking at him expectantly, and Robert's like,

1030
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:40,000
we're going to leave soon or whatever, and it's like, no, you've got to do it.

1031
00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000
He takes the thing.

1032
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,000
He does it properly because his son doesn't give a shit.

1033
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000
He's like, come on, son, we've gone over this.

1034
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,000
You want to be a boat captain like your dad.

1035
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,000
And then he's like, I don't know.

1036
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,000
And he runs off the kid.

1037
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000
He's like, I don't know if I want to be a boat captain.

1038
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,000
And he runs off.

1039
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,000
Anyway, that doesn't even really matter.

1040
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,000
I just thought it was kind of silly that that was like a drama

1041
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:03,000
that they injected in the beginning.

1042
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:07,000
It opens, I forgot to say, before we get to even if he's any of these kids.

1043
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,000
It opens with the first Jason deaths and Jason coming to life.

1044
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000
So Jason is at the bottom of a lake.

1045
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000
He's chained down by metal.

1046
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:20,000
This couple in a boat is going down Crystal Lake,

1047
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,000
and they're in front of Camp Crystal Lake.

1048
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000
He anchors down.

1049
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:29,000
The anchor eventually gets caught up with the metal of Jason.

1050
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,000
He climbs up using it and gets up in there.

1051
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:39,000
They, a couple of bucks, the boy grabs a Jason mask that he has,

1052
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,000
and he scares her with it.

1053
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:46,000
Hey, I think this is going to be the last mention of Jason in a lake.

1054
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Did you know that I think there is a real Camp Crystal Lake,

1055
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,000
where somebody built a statue of Jason underwater in the lake?

1056
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000
That's cool.

1057
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,000
I'm sorry, I feel like that was going to be the last mention of him in the lake,

1058
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,000
so I had to bring that up.

1059
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,000
I fucking love movies because they inspire awesome shit like that happening.

1060
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000
Especially it would be awesome if you didn't know that,

1061
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:12,000
and you're in that lake and you're, oh, fuck!

1062
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:18,000
There's a little mermaid statue in Copenhagen, Denmark,

1063
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,000
that you can go see, and they go like,

1064
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,000
oh yeah, there's a statue of a little mermaid.

1065
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,000
And you go in a boat and you go and you see it,

1066
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:29,000
and it's just a tiny, tiny little statue of a mermaid.

1067
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,000
And that's the whole tourist thing.

1068
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,000
It's like, yep, there's a tiny little statue of a mermaid, a little mermaid.

1069
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:39,000
And I think that's based on the same story that Hans Christian Andersen based.

1070
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaking of which, speaking of statues, on my way here,

1071
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,000
every time I drive three hours to be here, I drive the same way,

1072
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:49,000
and I go down this bullhead highway, and there's a big statue of a bull.

1073
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:53,000
Every time I drive by, I look at that bull's balls,

1074
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,000
because they sculpted it with balls on it.

1075
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:58,000
It's like, yep, they're still there every time.

1076
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,000
Dario, I think, was one of the guys that moved that.

1077
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,000
He either moved the bull or he moved the turtle,

1078
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:08,000
but he was one of the dudes that physically moved it into the spot that it's in right now.

1079
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:13,000
So just know that, everybody, you saw Dario's muscles at work in real life.

1080
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,000
Who's Dario?

1081
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000
Dario's my friend.

1082
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,000
You guys know him, but guess what?

1083
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,000
We fucking don't have any of his episodes up.

1084
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:23,000
Well, Dario was an old friend of the show, and he's here with us.

1085
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,000
So Jason kills these two.

1086
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:31,000
He almost hits them with the spear, and then he uses that spear to impale them.

1087
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:36,000
It's not really anything spectacular death-wise,

1088
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000
but the important thing is he's covered in muck.

1089
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,000
He looks like he's been at the bottom of a lake for two movies.

1090
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,000
So I don't know what happened in seven.

1091
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,000
But he is covered in slime.

1092
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:50,000
I think, and I might be wrong, but I think every single time you see Jason

1093
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,000
for the rest of this movie, he is dripping wet.

1094
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,000
Like, he's just come out of the lake.

1095
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,000
So maybe it's astral projection, Jason.

1096
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000
Jason.

1097
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,000
Jason.

1098
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:07,000
It's Jason.

1099
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:12,000
Anyway, so he kills the couple, and then he just kind of...

1100
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:16,000
I think he sort of drifts in on a boat, like on their boat,

1101
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000
like he's on it, like he comes in the shore,

1102
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,000
while the spiel trip is leaving on a much bigger boat.

1103
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,000
He then grabs onto, like, the chain of the boat on the side

1104
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:29,000
and then just hitches a ride with this crew, this, like, high school crew.

1105
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,000
And then on the boat, he goes and terrorizes all of them.

1106
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,000
He kills the captains.

1107
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:39,000
He kills this guitar chick, this one punk rocker chick has a guitar,

1108
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,000
and she's, like, you know, playing it a lot,

1109
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000
and he goes and he finds her while she's practicing,

1110
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000
and he kills her with her own guitar.

1111
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:50,000
There's these bully chicks that one of them seduces her teacher

1112
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:53,000
to kind of, like, get back at him for catching her with drugs,

1113
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,000
and she does a really sexy science project where she's like,

1114
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,000
I'm working on my biology project,

1115
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,000
and she just takes her clothes off instead of her bra and panties,

1116
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:05,000
and it's like she just wrote, like, heart here,

1117
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:08,000
and it's like a little arrow and, like, stomach's here,

1118
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,000
and then, like, the guy's like, whoa, hey, what are you doing?

1119
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,000
And then she starts making out with them.

1120
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,000
Camera boy catches them.

1121
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,000
Like, blackmail, it doesn't really matter.

1122
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,000
They all fucking die.

1123
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,000
I mean, like, that was great if it had any time to pan off,

1124
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000
but, no, all of them get there, come up.

1125
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,000
I wasn't really keeping track of the deaths.

1126
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,000
To me, the deaths, I wasn't really thinking about the deaths.

1127
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,000
I was thinking about the ramifications of what Jason was doing,

1128
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,000
how did he get to so many places at once?

1129
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:36,000
There's literally a scene where Jason's at the bottom of a boat,

1130
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,000
and there's a ladder going up to, like, the crow's nest or whatever,

1131
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:44,000
and one guy's got, like, at least 10, 15 feet clearance on Jason,

1132
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,000
and then the next cut is just Jason's above him somehow,

1133
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,000
like, throwing him off or whatever.

1134
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,000
It's just, like, it's so silly.

1135
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:58,000
Like, so Jason must have gotten superpowers, but he's wearing...

1136
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:03,000
And then I put Jason is wearing a, quote-unquote, Jason mask,

1137
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,000
because I think by eight, the hockey mask,

1138
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:11,000
the one that the boy had that he gave to Jason in this movie

1139
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:16,000
must have been, like, a novelty Crystal Lake Killer Jason mask,

1140
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,000
like, the Jason Voorhees mask that you would know about in-universe.

1141
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,000
I think this boy bought to scare his girlfriend,

1142
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:26,000
so I think Jason is wearing his own merchandise mask as he's going through,

1143
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,000
because it's...

1144
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,000
One of the Halloween stories, right?

1145
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,000
That's what I'm saying, yeah.

1146
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,000
So it's just like, yeah, exactly.

1147
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:37,000
Because technically Ghostface from Scream is wearing a Halloween store,

1148
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,000
so all of...

1149
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Like, yeah, so they're all...

1150
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:48,000
But anyway, girl gets a pen from her surrogate mother, teacher chick,

1151
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:52,000
and the pen is supposedly the one that Stephen King used in high school.

1152
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,000
And I was like, that's a cool gift, very thoughtful.

1153
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,000
I like that a lot.

1154
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:02,000
Oh, yeah, I put... There was a hot rock murder between a rock and a hard place

1155
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:05,000
where he just takes a hot stone while a guy's in a sauna,

1156
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,000
and he, like, puts it through his chest and then leaves it there.

1157
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Kind of burns it from the inside a little bit.

1158
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,000
I thought that was nice.

1159
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:14,000
We get introduced to the central few characters,

1160
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:19,000
which is the girl with the Stephen King pen, her boyfriend,

1161
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:23,000
a black boxer guy who's a real tough guy.

1162
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:29,000
And there's a moment where the black tough guy, he goes and grabs...

1163
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,000
He's a boxer, a boxer guy.

1164
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,000
He goes and grabs a bunch of weapons from all over the place

1165
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000
and lays them all out, and he's like, all right, guys,

1166
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000
we're going to go get this motherfucker.

1167
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,000
And the teacher's like, no, you're not.

1168
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,000
And the dude's like, we're not at school.

1169
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,000
And he turns, he's like, grab some weapons.

1170
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,000
And they all just grab, like, axes and whatever,

1171
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:50,000
and he grabs a shotgun, and they all go hunting Jason separately.

1172
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,000
And they all get murdered one by one.

1173
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:55,000
And so he survives.

1174
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,000
They get off the boat.

1175
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,000
They finally are walking around in Manhattan.

1176
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,000
They think that they're fine.

1177
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,000
And this is where I'm starting to think, like,

1178
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:04,000
just Jason's a one-track minded killer.

1179
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:07,000
Like, he'll kill people along the way if they get in front of him, I think.

1180
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:11,000
But for the most part, he just wants to kill, for some reason,

1181
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,000
the people he wants to kill.

1182
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,000
Like...

1183
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,000
When I was looking up which movie I was going to watch,

1184
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:21,000
I saw a short scene from this movie when he's walking around Manhattan.

1185
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,000
Did he kick a boombox in front of a bunch of punks?

1186
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000
That was the short I saw.

1187
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,000
I was like, ah, I was torn.

1188
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:29,000
Takes his mask off, and he scares them.

1189
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,000
He does the Beetlejuice.

1190
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:32,000
He does the Beetlejuice where he...

1191
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,000
So he's walking down the street,

1192
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,000
and there's some punks listening to a boombox.

1193
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,000
He kicks the boombox because it's in his way.

1194
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:39,000
And they go, what the fuck, man?

1195
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:40,000
And he turns around.

1196
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,000
That's what I don't understand, is he gets on a boat,

1197
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:49,000
and now apparently Camp Crystal Lake is connected to the ocean?

1198
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,000
He makes it all the way to New York in like an hour?

1199
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,000
No.

1200
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,000
The boat that they left on was, like, not from Crystal Lake.

1201
00:46:56,000 --> 00:47:01,000
They were leaving from a harbor probably at the adjacent city.

1202
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:04,000
So, like, he killed a couple on a boat,

1203
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:08,000
and that boat went down the river into the bigger feeding area

1204
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:12,000
to the ocean or whatever, or lake or whatever.

1205
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:13,000
It's the Great Lakes up there, yeah.

1206
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Yeah, and so he...

1207
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:20,000
Whatever port that was was a legitimate port with boats,

1208
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000
and so the boat they got on that he hitched a ride on

1209
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,000
with a bigger boat, and that's how he got to New York,

1210
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000
on the bigger boat.

1211
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,000
It doesn't really matter, but when they get to New York...

1212
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,000
You know, another thing, I watched a short thing about this movie,

1213
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,000
because I almost picked this one, was that, like,

1214
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:38,000
Jason doesn't get to New York until, like,

1215
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000
what, the last half hour of the movie.

1216
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,000
Yeah.

1217
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,000
And the reason for that is that it's very expensive to shoot in New York.

1218
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,000
That makes sense.

1219
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
So they filmed it all right there.

1220
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,000
Imagine being there while they're making this movie

1221
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,000
and being an extra or just seeing Jason in New York.

1222
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:55,000
You're like, ah!

1223
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:56,000
Yeah, that'd be dope.

1224
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,000
That would, like, exactly, because you wouldn't expect it,

1225
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:02,000
especially just being someone like, whoa, what the fuck?

1226
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000
Jason's in New York?

1227
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,000
Like, that doesn't make sense canonically.

1228
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,000
He's supposed to be at Crystal Lake, you know, like, yeah, I can see that.

1229
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,000
A fish out of Water Story, a fish out of Crystal Lake Story.

1230
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:15,000
If you saw Freddy Krueger or Ghost Space running around in any different place,

1231
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,000
you'd be like, OK, I get it.

1232
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,000
Although Ghost Space seems to...

1233
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:22,000
Ghost Space and Scream? That could happen anywhere.

1234
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,000
Actually, does it, though, or does it always happen in the same area?

1235
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,000
Because Sydney is always involved, and she always has to go back to her hometown.

1236
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,000
It's always that same high school.

1237
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Actually, no.

1238
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:35,000
Since we mentioned Scream, let's give a round of applause to David Arquette.

1239
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,000
APPLAUSE

1240
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000
We love him here on the show.

1241
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,000
You cannot kill David Arquette. And get ready to rumble.

1242
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,000
We should actually do the Scream franchise next year for Halloween.

1243
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000
I'm surprised we didn't do any of those, or all of them.

1244
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000
I would have too many sequels.

1245
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:54,000
I think we'll do Saw and then Scream and just things that have way too many sequels

1246
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,000
that we haven't covered already.

1247
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000
Yeah, I think next year you can expect Halloween.

1248
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,000
The problem is that you make us watch them all on the same week.

1249
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:05,000
So if you pick Scream, it's like, OK, guys, no work, no sleep this week.

1250
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,000
You just watch all the Screams.

1251
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,000
I mean, you're right. You're not wrong.

1252
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:12,000
I was going to suggest maybe that we did a Scream.

1253
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:17,000
You're responsible for so many people remaining stationary for hours.

1254
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,000
You're going to try to indoctrinate us into watching things at two times speed as well.

1255
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,000
Yeah, trust me, it helps, guys.

1256
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:29,000
So basically, I put, yeah, I mean, he could teleport.

1257
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,000
So Jason punches the guy's head off.

1258
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:39,000
It's a really, really good transition where you see a puddle of gasoline on fire.

1259
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:43,000
And then it just starts zooming in and zooming in and zooming in.

1260
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:46,000
It turns into somebody's eye or something.

1261
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:50,000
I don't know. I should have wrote down more of the cool transition.

1262
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,000
But it was really cool. I'll give him props for that.

1263
00:49:53,000 --> 00:50:02,000
Then we get basically the best part of the movie, which is Boxer Guy.

1264
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:09,000
And the Boxer Guy is getting chased by Jason and he gets up to a rooftop and he turns around and Jason just follows him.

1265
00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,000
And he's like, you know what?

1266
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,000
Screw it, man.

1267
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:15,000
And he walks up and he just starts punching Jason.

1268
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,000
And this goes on for about four minutes, five minutes.

1269
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000
He's punching him in the stomach, in the face.

1270
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,000
He's just, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.

1271
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,000
He's just getting tired. He's getting tired. He's getting tired.

1272
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:29,000
And then I forget, what does he, how does he kill him?

1273
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,000
Jason kills him?

1274
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,000
Yeah.

1275
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,000
Punches his head off.

1276
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,000
That's the one I wrote down.

1277
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,000
Give me your best shot.

1278
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,000
And then he just, pa, and just punches his head right off.

1279
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,000
I'm like, fuck yeah, dude.

1280
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:44,000
So, Jesus, how did they kill Jason in this?

1281
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000
Was I paying attention at the end?

1282
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:55,000
Oh, yeah, they, so they take him to the subway and the boy pushes him onto the tracks and Jason falls on the tracks and gets electrocuted.

1283
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,000
The boy falls on the track.

1284
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:00,000
It's fine.

1285
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:03,000
So, I don't know if they really think that out.

1286
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:09,000
But he gets melted and gooey and stuff.

1287
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,000
Shit, man, I'm sorry.

1288
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,000
I can't remember how the fuck this thing ended.

1289
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:16,000
It's so, I didn't write it down either.

1290
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,000
I put Jason without a mask. It's fucking gross.

1291
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Well, melted and gooey's are pretty good, you know.

1292
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:23,000
If he's melted and gooey, he's probably dead.

1293
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,000
Yeah, but no, that's, they didn't just leave.

1294
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,000
I mean, I know they, they left, but.

1295
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:30,000
Well, they probably wouldn't put him back in the damn lake.

1296
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:35,000
Why do they continue to make the same mistake over and over again and always put him back in the damn lake?

1297
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:39,000
And then he hitches a ride on a boat going back to Crystal Lake.

1298
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:40,000
For the next movie.

1299
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,000
Well, it ends.

1300
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:45,000
I think she lives and so does the guy maybe.

1301
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,000
And maybe one of the teachers.

1302
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,000
I can't remember.

1303
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:57,000
Every time I hear Crystal Lake, I can't help but to think that this would be the greatest movie to have a Cerveza Cristal commercial in the middle of.

1304
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:01,000
And if you're unfamiliar with Cerveza, that's the Star Wars movie.

1305
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:02,000
Is it Brazilian?

1306
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,000
The Emperor's just like, bring me the girl.

1307
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000
Cerveza, Cerveza.

1308
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,000
Yeah.

1309
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:10,000
Love it.

1310
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:16,000
So I give this two out of five.

1311
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,000
Because it's cheesy as fuck.

1312
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,000
It's the story is not great.

1313
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,000
It's fine.

1314
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,000
But like you said, 30 minutes of it is New York.

1315
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,000
30 minutes.

1316
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:29,000
He doesn't really take Manhattan so much as visit briefly.

1317
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,000
He shows up, does a little bit of Manhattan.

1318
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,000
He just spends about an hour in Manhattan and then he dies.

1319
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,000
I mean, I can't remember.

1320
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:40,000
He's walking around going, holy shit, how much for a hot dog?

1321
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:41,000
Yeah.

1322
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,000
God, I wonder what rent's here.

1323
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:46,000
Rent's like back in the forest where I've trained to kill my entire life.

1324
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:51,000
I'm just you know what really sucks is I just as mongoloid boy that they made they drowned.

1325
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,000
No one can hear me.

1326
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:59,000
But I really learned in the woods that it should have been me knowing how to swim rather than the counselors having to watch my back.

1327
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,000
I knew he should have drowned in the Hudson.

1328
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,000
He's like, oh, God, it's so much worse.

1329
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,000
It's so gross.

1330
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,000
I can see Jason.

1331
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:06,000
Yeah.

1332
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,000
He's just he's like, you know what?

1333
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,000
It's my fault.

1334
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,000
I went into the river when I wasn't supposed to.

1335
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:11,000
It wasn't any bodyguards.

1336
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,000
So I'm only I'm not even met.

1337
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:17,000
And then I don't know what would drive him to be mad, though.

1338
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,000
What would people started?

1339
00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:25,000
Then he comes down to town and he one day he just starts hearing people like, oh, yeah, Jason Forty's motherfucking boys.

1340
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:28,000
Just fucking Karen Mom is that's it.

1341
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,000
It's his mom.

1342
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000
He was fine.

1343
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,000
And then he finds out his mom killed a bunch of people.

1344
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,000
That's it.

1345
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:36,000
So he's like, oh, yeah, I'm going to be a couple of five.

1346
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,000
And I didn't like it.

1347
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,000
All right.

1348
00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:46,000
Well, since it's to me now, I have the best Jason movie of all time.

1349
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000
It blows all the other ones out of the water.

1350
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:49,000
Jason X is so good.

1351
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,000
Jason X. Love Jason.

1352
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:54,000
This was like, look, we've made nine of these.

1353
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,000
We know you don't care anymore.

1354
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,000
We don't care anymore.

1355
00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000
We're just going to have fun.

1356
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:03,000
80s equivalent to just dumping all your toys on the ground and just let's have fun.

1357
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,000
Yeah, I don't.

1358
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:08,000
Again, just like you with yours, I have no idea how the one before it ended.

1359
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:14,000
I got a brief description, which Jason walks out of a house and just is surrounded by police and gets the fuck shot out of them.

1360
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,000
OK, and he gets captured.

1361
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:22,000
So they have him in this underground facility, not very far from Crystal Lake.

1362
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:26,000
They have them all chained up like like a BDSM style chain up.

1363
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Let him keep his mask.

1364
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000
They let him keep his mask on.

1365
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,000
There's one guy that fucking face.

1366
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:37,000
They've had they've been trying to execute him for all the murders he committed.

1367
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,000
They tried electric chair firing squad.

1368
00:54:39,000 --> 00:54:42,000
They tried to hang him and he just wouldn't die.

1369
00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:48,000
So they just had him chained and they plan to have him frozen until they could figure out how to kill Jason.

1370
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,000
So he's all chained up there.

1371
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:59,000
There's a guy behind like behind this little control panel like he wants to he throws a shirt over his head and like the main chick running that facility.

1372
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:07,000
She's about to walk in and then these government dudes show up and they're like, we're taking Jason to our facility to study him because he can regenerate.

1373
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,000
You know, like we're taking him.

1374
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,000
He's like he fucking he's insane.

1375
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,000
He'll kill everybody.

1376
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,000
And then he's like, not too bad, bitch.

1377
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:14,000
Fuck you.

1378
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:19,000
They go up to it and they take the shirt off his head and it's the guy that was watching him.

1379
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,000
And then Jason just starts fucking everybody up.

1380
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,000
He kills all the generals and all their soldiers.

1381
00:55:24,000 --> 00:55:27,000
And how did he get out of the chair?

1382
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,000
I don't know. He wasn't in a chair.

1383
00:55:28,000 --> 00:55:36,000
He's like hung like like when they capture Obi Wan and Anakin in episode two, like hands up, legs down.

1384
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,000
I don't know.

1385
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,000
I really don't know.

1386
00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,000
I think maybe he just broke out of it.

1387
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,000
Teleports motherfucker dude.

1388
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:46,000
Teleporting Jason is scary.

1389
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,000
But teleport in the Mortal Kombat game.

1390
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:53,000
So the chick that wanted to keep him there, she's being chased.

1391
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,000
There's nobody there to help her at all.

1392
00:55:56,000 --> 00:55:57,000
They had one guy watching him.

1393
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,000
They had him chained up.

1394
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:02,000
All the generals and their soldiers died.

1395
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,000
There's no backup.

1396
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:06,000
No kind of like, hey, where's General Johnson?

1397
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:12,000
He's just he just he went down to that thing to go get Jason.

1398
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:16,000
And anyway, so she she leads Jason to the place where they were going to freeze them.

1399
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:20,000
She tricks him to go into the freezing capsule and starts it.

1400
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,000
She's standing outside of it like, yeah, I got him.

1401
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:28,000
He stabs through the thing and like hits her and it leaks into the room.

1402
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,000
The freezing whatever agent.

1403
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:31,000
So she gets frozen.

1404
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,000
Jason gets frozen.

1405
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,000
And then 400 years pass.

1406
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:36,000
I swear to God, if you tell me she lives.

1407
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,000
Four hundred years pass.

1408
00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:45,000
I swear to God, Austin, if you say that she's a main character of this movie and she fucking lives.

1409
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:57,000
So I know for 400, 400 fucking years, nobody checked on this facility where the famous Jason has been caught and held captive and been tried to be executed.

1410
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,000
Dead soldiers, dead soldiers everywhere.

1411
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,000
Generals of war.

1412
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:05,000
Nobody. Oh, I guess he's he fucked up.

1413
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,000
I don't know. These are the names of the unnamed.

1414
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:11,000
They have to get buried at the the unnamed soldiers or whatever.

1415
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Just like are the missing.

1416
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:17,000
They're on a list of walls of where and now all in here.

1417
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:24,000
And during that 400 years, the earth has been completely destroyed, all except for this facility, a spaceship lands.

1418
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:33,000
So people get out, they scan, they find Jason in the in the tube and they like this one chick like scans him.

1419
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,000
Obviously, she's an android.

1420
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000
He's like, what kind of mask is that?

1421
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,000
It's some kind of carbon fiber breathing mechanism.

1422
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,000
And one of the robots like it's a hockey mask.

1423
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,000
They're like, what's hockey?

1424
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:43,000
And he's like, it was out.

1425
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:46,000
It's a sport that was outlawed in twenty twenty four.

1426
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Oh, so look out hockey.

1427
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,000
We got two, three months.

1428
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:56,000
So they they find the chick, too, and they're like, quick, let's get both of them there while they're still frozen.

1429
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,000
Let's get them on the ship.

1430
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:04,000
So they get on the little ship, goes back to the main freighter where the rest of the movie takes place.

1431
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,000
They they have Jason kind of falling out and then they have this other chick.

1432
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:12,000
They put her on a table and like weird metal tentacles come out and reviver.

1433
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,000
And she's like, oh, what happened?

1434
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,000
He's like, oh, it's been four hundred years.

1435
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,000
The earth's destroyed. We live in space now.

1436
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:19,000
And we got you and the other.

1437
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:22,000
Who, Jason, you didn't bring Jason on the fucking ship, did you?

1438
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:26,000
And oh, oh, shit.

1439
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,000
Oh, yeah.

1440
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,000
They bring them on the spaceship.

1441
00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:40,000
And so the guy running the ship, he wants now wants to study Jason and figure out like shit with his regeneration powers.

1442
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,000
Now, everything's cool.

1443
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,000
The chicks brought back to life. They're studying Jason.

1444
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:45,000
She doesn't want them to study Jason.

1445
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:49,000
They're like just fucking ejecting from the ship or something like, no, it's fine. He's dead.

1446
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,000
He's dead as shit.

1447
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:52,000
And nope.

1448
00:58:52,000 --> 00:59:01,000
So people in the ship, everyone's every girl that works on the ship, the professional uniform is having your cleavage out completely.

1449
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,000
It's just normal.

1450
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:04,000
Everybody's fucking on the ship.

1451
00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:09,000
And, you know, as soon as people start fucking, soon as someone's getting laid, Jason's got to wake up.

1452
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:11,000
He wakes up.

1453
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,000
Super here.

1454
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:19,000
See, yeah, one of his superpowers is teleporting and semen.

1455
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:35,000
Squeaky cries of a billion unborn babies ejaculated from a hard dick is enough to resurrect Jason from the bottom deepest wells of either the lake or or fucking frozen being frozen.

1456
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:38,000
It's he just hears the evil lake.

1457
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:45,000
Oh, yeah, these people start evil Lake Aquaman Lake Aquaman.

1458
00:59:45,000 --> 00:59:49,000
He talks to semen instead of Jack woman.

1459
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,000
Jack woman.

1460
00:59:51,000 --> 01:00:03,000
So, yeah, people start fucking and then this lady's she's getting pounded and she goes, and then it cuts to Jason that echoes and he just gets the fuck up like someone coming.

1461
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:15,000
And he sees this chick like studying some shit grabs her sticks her head into just a vat of cryogenic fluid that just happens to be out because that's what you just leave out freezes her.

1462
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:21,000
It like zooms out on her face like, and then she freezes and then he pulls her out and just smashes her head on a table.

1463
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,000
That's one of the most memorable deaths in that movie.

1464
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:26,000
What's that? Yeah, it's one of the most memorable.

1465
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:30,000
One of my favorites, the sleeping bag, which we'll get to, but I, which you'll get to.

1466
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:35,000
But this one thing's happening. I think Jason.

1467
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,000
He had a very confusing puberty.

1468
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,000
He doesn't know what he's still a virgin. He's still a virgin.

1469
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:45,000
So what's happening is he hears people fucking he gets excited, and he just doesn't know what he's doing.

1470
01:00:45,000 --> 01:00:52,000
So when he runs up and smashes this chick into a fucking cryogenic and then smashes her face, he thinks he's initiating for play.

1471
01:00:52,000 --> 01:01:01,000
He's like, Jason, like girl, Jason, make girl girlfriend. He takes your head kissy noise kissy face.

1472
01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:03,000
And then you're just killing her. You know, like that.

1473
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:09,000
So now every time he kills, that's what I'm imagining. Jason is just Edward Scissorhands.

1474
01:01:09,000 --> 01:01:15,000
Yeah, clumsy buffoon with too much strength. He's letting from mice and men.

1475
01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:20,000
You find a great ways of humanizing these terrible people.

1476
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,000
He just wants the fuck. That's the new Freddie versus Jason.

1477
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:27,000
It's like we're both just misunderstood, bitch.

1478
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:34,000
What's your deal, bitch? They just team up and just team up and kill everyone, bitch. Jason just want to kiss girl.

1479
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:41,000
I get it, bitch. You can hit me from the back, Jason. I could take it, bitch.

1480
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:48,000
And after several hundred attempts of Jason just killing Freddie and under the different ways, he finally finds the hole.

1481
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:53,000
That's the Rudy moment. Anyways, so chick gets her face smashed cryogenic style.

1482
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:58,000
The Android is with this other guy and they have like a romance and she wants to be a real girl.

1483
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:04,000
And so it just cuts to her with her tits out. And she's like, so what do you think? They look great.

1484
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:10,000
And then her nipples fall off. Don't worry. We'll get there.

1485
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:16,000
And then people start noticing like, hey, where's so and so?

1486
01:02:16,000 --> 01:02:23,000
One chick was just so one there's a hallway shot and there's a chick walking out like, that was some good dick I just got.

1487
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,000
And she walks down the hallway and then Jason walks out of the hallway.

1488
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:33,000
He walks into this room where these soldiers on the ship are doing a simulation of like a fighting simulation.

1489
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:36,000
And so Jason kills them in the simulation.

1490
01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:39,000
They're like, oh, man, like, who the fuck is this guy? Come on.

1491
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:47,000
So they do a simulation off and then it cuts to like real life and Jason gets to kill them both a second time.

1492
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:50,000
Oh, that's great. So that was cool.

1493
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:53,000
Then everyone knows, OK, Jason, I do what that happens.

1494
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Who? Jason. Can you tell?

1495
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:58,000
I mean, I know he doesn't emote a lot, but like, can you tell?

1496
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:04,000
He's like, oh, cool. He doesn't he doesn't have much of a personality in this.

1497
01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:09,000
OK, so after that, everyone knows Jason's on the ship and he's running a mock and that bitch is like, I told you so.

1498
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:12,000
So they get all these soldiers rounded up to go after him.

1499
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:17,000
They're in like the storage hole and Jason starts.

1500
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:25,000
I think this is the first Jason stealth kill because he just grabs a guy out of out of him, pulls him away and cracks his neck.

1501
01:03:25,000 --> 01:03:27,000
He's a fucking splinter cell agent.

1502
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:30,000
It's the nastiest sounding neck crack ever.

1503
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:35,000
You listen. Oh, God. So he cracks that guy's neck.

1504
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:42,000
He finds another guy on a catwalk and pushes him off the catwalk and he lands on a giant screw.

1505
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:48,000
And as like he falls, he gets impaled on it and he's slowly spinning around to the screw.

1506
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,000
And then they find them later. They send another team.

1507
01:03:50,000 --> 01:03:55,000
They're like, what about Johnson? He's like, he's screwed.

1508
01:03:55,000 --> 01:04:00,000
Yeah. Oh, how callous towards your fellow co-workers.

1509
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,000
Eventually, I think it's supposed to be brothers in arms.

1510
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:13,000
And you're going to really say that if I saw any one of you, any one of my best friend's bodies in a precarious situation, some killer just fucking wrecked you and put you put Mike on a screw.

1511
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,000
I wouldn't say, oh, screw you or smash your head with a hammer.

1512
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:19,000
Brendan, I would have been like, oh, your wife calls.

1513
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,000
I'm like, Brendan's a little hammered at the moment.

1514
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:24,000
Sergeant Rice, where's Sergeant Larson?

1515
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:27,000
He turns out he can die.

1516
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:30,000
He really screwed himself this time.

1517
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:33,000
And you're like, what does that mean?

1518
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:36,000
Well, he's those corpses over there, sir.

1519
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:40,000
His blood is leaking off the floor of the spaceship.

1520
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:42,000
It's like, do you have no remorse?

1521
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,000
Like, this is just some callous shit, as long as I'm safe.

1522
01:04:44,000 --> 01:04:45,000
But, OK, yeah, he screwed.

1523
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:47,000
It would be you. That would be you.

1524
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:48,000
What are you talking about?

1525
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:50,000
That would be you.

1526
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:53,000
Yeah, it would be delightful.

1527
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:57,000
There is a cool stoner character that dies kind of early and it makes me sad.

1528
01:04:57,000 --> 01:05:00,000
I'm like, oh, we could have had him a little longer.

1529
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:03,000
Yeah. How do you get to be a stoner on space?

1530
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:04,000
That's got to be a heavily.

1531
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,000
They're all fucking delinquents.

1532
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:07,000
They're all fucking each other.

1533
01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,000
Oh, there's like a guy who's like a teacher.

1534
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:12,000
He's the main guy that wanted to keep Jason alive and he's fucking one of his students.

1535
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:16,000
And she he has her like twisting his nipples and shit and like you pass.

1536
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:20,000
Doesn't the stoner guy lose his arm like before he dies and like is without an arm?

1537
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1538
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:23,000
He's like, I lost my fucking arm.

1539
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:24,000
Yeah.

1540
01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:25,000
How big is the ship?

1541
01:05:25,000 --> 01:05:26,000
How many people?

1542
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,000
It's a pretty big like Frager ship.

1543
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,000
How many people would you say?

1544
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:30,000
Total.

1545
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:35,000
There's like 10 or 12 and maybe some few unnamed soldiers.

1546
01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:36,000
OK.

1547
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:39,000
But it gets down to like three of them.

1548
01:05:39,000 --> 01:05:43,000
But they're like, OK, let's go to Solaris and we'll deal with it there.

1549
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,000
So they're going to Solaris.

1550
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:45,000
They're approaching.

1551
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:48,000
It's like a meteor with a city on it.

1552
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:52,000
And Jason does something to the ship that makes them just crash right through it.

1553
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,000
You kill everybody on the city.

1554
01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,000
They just steamroll the city.

1555
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:57,000
They're like, well, fuck.

1556
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,000
That was all of civilization.

1557
01:06:00,000 --> 01:06:03,000
And there's probably we're in a high traffic lane.

1558
01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:05,000
So we'll run into another ship soon.

1559
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:10,000
So it was Brendan's list to be like, kill one, kill two, kill eight million.

1560
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:11,000
Yeah.

1561
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,000
So now you're on Gale.

1562
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,000
Gil eight million and four.

1563
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:18,000
So I was the last Jason.

1564
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:19,000
He killed all of humanity.

1565
01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:21,000
Now we're getting towards the end.

1566
01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,000
Jason's killed a whole lot more.

1567
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,000
He killed the teacher guy.

1568
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:28,000
The teacher guy tries to like plead with them because he has Jason's original machete.

1569
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:33,000
Jason found like a cool futuristic machete and he's like, look, you want your own.

1570
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,000
Hey, guys, it's all good.

1571
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,000
He just wanted his old machete back.

1572
01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:37,000
It kills him.

1573
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,000
Dumbest last lines of all time.

1574
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:44,000
And so the Android chick turns into Trinity from the Matrix.

1575
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:50,000
And she dressed all like sexy and shit like black leather with like bullet vests and shit.

1576
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:58,000
She fucks up Jason like really bad, like like shoots him through fucking walls, shoots him into this room,

1577
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:05,000
shoots him towards this table, blows his leg off, blows his arm off and fucking explodes his head.

1578
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,000
And she's like, fuck, yeah.

1579
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,000
And they're like, cool, cool.

1580
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:11,000
Now we need to get off the ship.

1581
01:07:11,000 --> 01:07:16,000
And unfortunately, the table that she shot him onto is the table that revives people.

1582
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,000
So the computer is all fucked up.

1583
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:22,000
It starts sparking up and it's like trying to repair him.

1584
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:24,000
And it's like looking for external sources to repair.

1585
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:31,000
So it goes to like this pile of tech that's right there and repairs him and also enhances him,

1586
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:35,000
turning into what has been dubbed on the Internet as Uber Jason.

1587
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,000
Have you seen a picture of Uber Jason, Mike?

1588
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:41,000
Have you seen his mask, bro? Pull up Uber Jason.

1589
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:46,000
I did not even know this movie existed.

1590
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,000
And okay, so Uber Jason's there.

1591
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:51,000
He's fucking super strong.

1592
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:55,000
He cuts off the Android Trinity's head.

1593
01:07:55,000 --> 01:07:59,000
They're still figuring out like trying to get contact with people.

1594
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:06,000
They find a ship and they're like.

1595
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:08,000
Is this it? Yeah.

1596
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,000
Accurate movie. Yeah.

1597
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:11,000
Except you can't see his eyes.

1598
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:13,000
He has like Sith eyes.

1599
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:15,000
And yeah, he's just gnarly Uber Jason.

1600
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:18,000
It's fucking scary. It's sick as fuck.

1601
01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:20,000
Yeah. That's cool shit.

1602
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,000
That's as like cool as it gets, I think, in my opinion.

1603
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:25,000
And so there's a machete coming out of his hand.

1604
01:08:25,000 --> 01:08:28,000
No, how's he holding?

1605
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:30,000
Oh, that's just the floor. Sorry.

1606
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:32,000
That's the machete.

1607
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:38,000
Yeah. So they try to get to another part of the ship that they want to disconnect to the other half that Jason's on.

1608
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:43,000
So while they're trying to do that, they get in contact with another ship, but they need more time.

1609
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:49,000
So they get Jason into this room and they turn on the simulator again.

1610
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:54,000
And so Jason's Jason's in the simulator. He doesn't know all of a sudden he's back at Camp Crystal Lake.

1611
01:08:54,000 --> 01:09:00,000
Yeah. And these two chicks walk up and they're like, Hey, do you want to smoke some pot?

1612
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:03,000
Do you want to have premarital sex? We love having premarital sex.

1613
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,000
And then they take their shirts off and show their tits.

1614
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:08,000
They're being over the top about it, right? Yeah.

1615
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:11,000
Because it's like a porno video simulation, probably. Right.

1616
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:14,000
Basically like a holographic like porno that you could play three.

1617
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:21,000
I think the lady the lady knows the chick that they unfroze like knew what to put in the simulation.

1618
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:24,000
As far as I'm remembering it program, this on purpose to distract.

1619
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:28,000
Yeah. To distract them so they could buy more time to disconnect the ship and connect to their ship.

1620
01:09:28,000 --> 01:09:32,000
So that they put in the actual like that's every little sex.

1621
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:36,000
Yeah. And they're like, how much time do we have left?

1622
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:44,000
And he has them in the sleeping. He puts one of them in a sleeping bag, puts the other one in a sleeping bag and just beating the shit out of one with the other.

1623
01:09:44,000 --> 01:09:48,000
Aren't they laughing the entire time? Like, Oh, oh my God.

1624
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:54,000
And then he he fucking and then he takes then it's a nice nod to when the original sleeping bag kill.

1625
01:09:54,000 --> 01:10:00,000
Because after he's done killing one with the sleep bag, he just slams the other one against the tree, which is like a nice little nod.

1626
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:07,000
And they're like, he already killed both the campers. And then and then the robot is like, damn, that was quick.

1627
01:10:07,000 --> 01:10:12,000
So they explode the ship, the other half, they disconnect.

1628
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:20,000
And then they're looking out out from the window at the explosion and out of the explosion flying towards them is Uber Jason.

1629
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:26,000
And then so in order to start the simulation or the explosion or whatever, one of the guys had to do a spacewalk.

1630
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:38,000
And so when Jason's flying, flying right before he touches the ship, that guy in the space suit just like cuts him off.

1631
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:45,000
This sounds so bad. Is it so bad that it's good? It's like they know what they're doing.

1632
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:50,000
OK, that's what I was like, fly out there right before he gets there.

1633
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:54,000
The guy in the space suit just like like Ramson from the side and they're fighting.

1634
01:10:54,000 --> 01:11:01,000
He kills that guy. Jason turns into an asteroid and lands on the on a nearby planet.

1635
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:05,000
Yeah, they all get away. Back up a second. You said you can't just say Jason.

1636
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:09,000
He starts he starts he starts hurtling towards a planet like an asteroid.

1637
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:18,000
Like I'm sorry, I thought like I thought he he collected it. He started drifting through space enough to collect enough to turn him into an asteroid.

1638
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:20,000
And his final thing is he blows up.

1639
01:11:20,000 --> 01:11:24,000
I mean, you're not wrong to think maybe that happened in this movie after everything I just told you.

1640
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:27,000
Nipples, nipples falling off. Yeah.

1641
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:32,000
A general's in their entire platoons going missing. Uber Jason, Uber Jason.

1642
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:40,000
Yeah. So they get away that that brave spaceman sacrifices life to stop Jason from getting to the ship.

1643
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:45,000
And Jason, yeah, they get away. All good for them.

1644
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:50,000
Yeah, they're happy. Jason turns into an asteroid and crash it.

1645
01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:54,000
And there's some people on this planet like hanging out at night in the dark.

1646
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:59,000
And they're like, look, shooting star. Hey, that landed not too far from Lake whatsoever.

1647
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:02,000
Let's go check it out. And they're and they start walking over there.

1648
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:05,000
And then you see like his mask like floating down in the water.

1649
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:09,000
And then the movie's over and it's pure cinematic bliss.

1650
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:14,000
This entire movie, it's so silly. It knows it's like, look, it's silly.

1651
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:16,000
We know we know they're played out. They're dumb.

1652
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:27,000
Now we just space Jason space and if you will tell me that he landed in the equivalent of their crystal or yes.

1653
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:32,000
Yes, yes. On this planet space, Crystal Lake, space, Crystal Lake.

1654
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:35,000
And then his mask falls into the water next to him.

1655
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:39,000
Yeah, like it just shows. I think it was just to be a cool close.

1656
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:42,000
It was just that you just see his mask kind of floating.

1657
01:12:42,000 --> 01:12:48,000
We never got a Jason Eleven. But would you guys have been OK with if they just did?

1658
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:50,000
They just carry on from there in the future.

1659
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:54,000
What about if in the future, 400 years from now, it's the 80s again.

1660
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:58,000
They're just reliving that period of like retro, retro, retro.

1661
01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:09,000
Yeah, exactly. So we get like just a more we get a space aged version with future tech of 80 slash or 70 slash or movie.

1662
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:12,000
But anyway, this is this is a friend. I'm sorry.

1663
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:15,000
As I said, this was my favorite. Jason, this is the best.

1664
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:18,000
Jason, my favorite, too. I guess it was a different one.

1665
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:25,000
If they could make a better one, it would have to be like serious and not like, you know, aware of itself.

1666
01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:29,000
I think the remake is what where you get that serious and not funny.

1667
01:13:29,000 --> 01:13:33,000
Nothing funny. Maybe like there's some funny lines, but it's not done.

1668
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:39,000
The cover, though, this is one of the best covers of all time because it gives you a peek at Uber Jason, too.

1669
01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:44,000
Like he oh. Yeah.

1670
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:48,000
And then left is Jason. Right. It's an upgrade, baby.

1671
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:50,000
People get an upgrade. That's a great line.

1672
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:55,000
Now, what I don't like about this is I think that the spacing between his eyes is a little too far.

1673
01:13:55,000 --> 01:13:57,000
Yeah, he looks a little derpy. One's looking the other way.

1674
01:13:57,000 --> 01:14:00,000
Yeah, it's a little bit on the dirt side, but that's fine.

1675
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:03,000
I mean, Jason, Uber Jason with derpy eyes is still scary.

1676
01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:10,000
Still super scared. Yeah. Look at this thing. I don't care how many fucking like if this thing was coming at me right now, I'd be scared.

1677
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:16,000
He looks a lot like Lord Zed. I was thinking he looks a lot like like Super Shredder.

1678
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:19,000
Oh, OK. Let's see. Let's see who's closer.

1679
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:24,000
Here's me. Lord Zed Power Rangers.

1680
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:27,000
Yeah. OK, so that's that's what.

1681
01:14:27,000 --> 01:14:30,000
Oh, shit. Sorry. Lord. Phone.

1682
01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:36,000
And then we're going to. And what was yours again? Super Shredder. Yep.

1683
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:44,000
Have you noticed every time Andy yells at us about something that one or two weeks later, within one or two weeks, the same thing happens?

1684
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:50,000
Who's closer? Super Shredder? I think I thought Lord said.

1685
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:59,000
To tell it, oh, tell Grok to combine Super Shredder with Lord said, oh, I will do that after.

1686
01:14:59,000 --> 01:15:01,000
Let me write that down.

1687
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:07,000
So I rate this movie as far as all the original Jason movies, one to ten.

1688
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:10,000
Ten is the best one. They ended it with a bang.

1689
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:14,000
They made it ridiculous, but also like entertaining to watch.

1690
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,000
They made a super cool, scarier Jason.

1691
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:19,000
It's not just the same dude with the machete in space.

1692
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:23,000
The ending was great. All the comedy and it has tits.

1693
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:34,000
And nods to the originals, of course. Five out of five.

1694
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:42,000
OK, Michael. Yes, I had the remake in 2009.

1695
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:46,000
And is that the last one? Has there been anything? You know what? I do not know.

1696
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:53,000
I think there might have been 2011 something weird that came, but not.

1697
01:15:53,000 --> 01:16:00,000
It's kind of like catching up with an old friend if that friend was a psychopathic killer with mommy issues.

1698
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:03,000
But Andy would love the way this movie. Have you seen this movie, Andy?

1699
01:16:03,000 --> 01:16:07,000
I don't know. Because you would love the way this movie starts.

1700
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:11,000
You've described before you like it when it tells you the story in the opening credits.

1701
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:17,000
Well, how about this movie, which goes 24 minutes of a complete Jason story?

1702
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:20,000
And you're watching and you're saying, you know, this movie is going on.

1703
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:24,000
And then the last one dies and you're like.

1704
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:30,000
And then you get the title screen and then it starts over.

1705
01:16:30,000 --> 01:16:37,000
So he OK, I get what you're saying. So it does like a whole ass, a whole group of five kids going to the woods,

1706
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:43,000
doing the whole thing near an abandoned crystal lake. Yes, it's an origin story, but it's modern.

1707
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:52,000
It's like a new origin story. So you get a group of five kids at the lake, not kids, but they're 20ish college students.

1708
01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,000
Yeah, they wrap it all up. They he kills all that.

1709
01:16:55,000 --> 01:17:04,000
OK, turns out one of them has a brother. Who then goes to the same crystal lake town, the town near there.

1710
01:17:04,000 --> 01:17:11,000
Is this what he looks like looking for his? Yes, it's a little more gritty.

1711
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:16,000
He's got a jacket. He's a little he's bigger for one thing.

1712
01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:21,000
He's way bigger than the guy that had play him somewhere.

1713
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:24,000
Yeah, I think this is the first one without Kane Hodder playing him.

1714
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:28,000
Yes. And he the guy that plays him does an amazing job.

1715
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:35,000
He's very menacing, very big. But the first group all die.

1716
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:40,000
Twenty four minutes in the movie opening title. And you're like, OK, that was interesting.

1717
01:17:40,000 --> 01:17:43,000
What the fuck are they going to do from here? You don't really know.

1718
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:51,000
And then it cuts to a scene and this kid drives up on a motorcycle to a shop like a gas station type thing going towards Crystal Lake.

1719
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:53,000
And he's looking for his sister.

1720
01:17:53,000 --> 01:18:00,000
And runs into another group of college students going to a different place, but around still around the camp Crystal Lake area.

1721
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:08,000
And and they're kind of dicks. You know, they're all kind of college student. What you would expect.

1722
01:18:08,000 --> 01:18:12,000
And he's kept they're kind of addicted to him and they're like kind of party.

1723
01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:16,000
They're on their way to start partying and they're kind of being a big head to Crystal Lake.

1724
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:23,000
Yeah, they're headed. They're all going to this area around Crystal Lake, this little town.

1725
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:28,000
But he's the most intimidating Jason yet.

1726
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:31,000
Because this one's newer, I didn't really go through.

1727
01:18:31,000 --> 01:18:35,000
I don't want to go through the whole plot and tell everything that happens because a lot of people haven't seen it yet.

1728
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:39,000
It also because it's a reboot, it gets that same bullshit that everything gets.

1729
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:44,000
Oh, it's a reboot. It's not Jason. It's somebody else playing him.

1730
01:18:44,000 --> 01:18:49,000
So you got that same bullshit that always happens before anybody sees a movie.

1731
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:54,000
And so it wasn't that successful. But it's a very good Jason.

1732
01:18:54,000 --> 01:19:00,000
It's a. It's got great kills.

1733
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:04,000
Reboot Jason, he's so scary. He's smart.

1734
01:19:04,000 --> 01:19:07,000
He doesn't just lumber after you swing his machete around.

1735
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:12,000
No, he's he's like he stalks you. He lays traps like it saw, dude.

1736
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:18,000
Yeah, no, it's it's like they took the way the killer and saw works and made Jason work like that.

1737
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:23,000
Now in this case, the two questions, one, can he teleport?

1738
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:30,000
Well, I mean, they don't show him teleporting, but like in all of them, he can get places very fast.

1739
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:34,000
But they explain it in this one. That's later on. I was going to talk about it.

1740
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:39,000
There are catacombs under Camp Crystal Lake.

1741
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:42,000
So he travels from place to place underground.

1742
01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,000
Yeah, there wasn't a catacomb on that ladder on that ship.

1743
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:49,000
I didn't watch that movie. I understand. I don't understand why you're bringing it up.

1744
01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:52,000
Are you saying it like he's the filmmaker?

1745
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:55,000
It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

1746
01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:58,000
I'm not mad at you. I'm just saying that this motherfucker can teleport.

1747
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:01,000
I was just wondering if they brought that into this motherfucker can teleport.

1748
01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:06,000
You're saying he also should have been this should have been named the Jason Olympics

1749
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:13,000
because this son of a bitch, speaking of Rambo earlier, your 30 year theory started to make a lot of sense

1750
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:20,000
because this guy can shoot an arrow from 300 yards right through somebody's eye.

1751
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:26,000
He can practice. He throws an axe from 200 yards.

1752
01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:29,000
Lives at a red fair. Yeah, exactly.

1753
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:31,000
But he must spend a lot of time practicing.

1754
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:35,000
I like that plot device, though, of having the catacombs underneath everything.

1755
01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:40,000
Yeah, catacombs. Yeah, it's a cool plot device.

1756
01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:46,000
Basically, the first kids figured I figured he was pissed because they were trying to steal his pot plants

1757
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:51,000
because this movie is basically based around them trying to get to this giant field of pot.

1758
01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:53,000
Is it really? Yeah. Yeah.

1759
01:20:53,000 --> 01:20:56,000
They're trying to find a secret field of pot. Yeah, the original kids.

1760
01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:58,000
Secret field of pot. Yeah.

1761
01:20:58,000 --> 01:21:01,000
Real quick. You know, I mean, I hate the tangent, but

1762
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:06,000
have you guys ever seen The Beach with Leonardo DiCaprio?

1763
01:21:06,000 --> 01:21:08,000
No.

1764
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:14,000
It's like, it's one of those underrated, like, he goes to a beach in Thailand or whatever,

1765
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:22,000
but he comes across a field of pot and then finds out real quick that it's not like it's not guarded.

1766
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:24,000
And it gets pretty intense. It's a good movie.

1767
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:28,000
I highly recommend it. I regret for this, even though we don't do that for these.

1768
01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:35,000
Watch The Beach with Leo.

1769
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:40,000
I would say this is this movie is available on I think it's Google,

1770
01:21:40,000 --> 01:21:44,000
which is always fun because I was on Disney watching. I just think that's always interesting.

1771
01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:47,000
It's fun to watch the show on Disney Plus.

1772
01:21:47,000 --> 01:21:52,000
There's no reason to find it fun because here's because it's been available since day one.

1773
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:56,000
So it's not like it's not like a new feature that we're like, is right.

1774
01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:58,000
Disney Plus didn't they bring our content?

1775
01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:01,000
No, not at all.

1776
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:07,000
It's when they bought Fox and Hulu and they only put Hulu on to there about three months ago.

1777
01:22:07,000 --> 01:22:13,000
OK, never mind. I was thinking that they always used to be able to access that stuff from Disney.

1778
01:22:13,000 --> 01:22:18,000
Yeah. And then they made a beta about six months ago. And then like three months ago, everybody got it.

1779
01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:20,000
But it's crazy. You'll be on there.

1780
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:26,000
You'll be on there. Little more than one course, Little Mermaid on the other corners. Jason Hicks. It's great.

1781
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:30,000
It's very strange. What do you think? Did you watch a Little Mermaid, the remake?

1782
01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:33,000
No, I haven't. I just haven't seen it.

1783
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:39,000
Why didn't you? It's been up because I was watching the 37 movies you have me watch every movie in the room.

1784
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:41,000
Have you have you have you seen it?

1785
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:45,000
Boston what seemed like the new Little Mermaid, the remake?

1786
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:49,000
No, I will. When it's on Disney. I don't even know if it's on Disney.

1787
01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:53,000
It's been up for years. Not for years. It's only a year old movie.

1788
01:22:53,000 --> 01:23:01,000
The Little Mermaid. Oh, Austin. Apologize.

1789
01:23:01,000 --> 01:23:06,000
The Little Shermaid. They do some cool stuff here, though, like they kill off the final girl.

1790
01:23:06,000 --> 01:23:09,000
Well, you're convinced is the final girl. Yeah, I like that.

1791
01:23:09,000 --> 01:23:12,000
They kill her the fuck off. And it's a different girl. It's a final girl.

1792
01:23:12,000 --> 01:23:19,000
Who? Because they find his sister. And in this movie, Jason also kidnaps and keeps a girl.

1793
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:23,000
So there's some differences in Jason in this. He's learning. He's smart.

1794
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:26,000
Sex don't work this way. No, he's smart in this. He does. Yeah.

1795
01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:30,000
Oh, I fuck good now. He's very smart. In my catacombs.

1796
01:23:30,000 --> 01:23:35,000
Great with tools. Does it kills with a bunch of tools. He's like Bob B. You know, gone insane.

1797
01:23:35,000 --> 01:23:39,000
What a topical reference. Does Jason meet?

1798
01:23:39,000 --> 01:23:44,000
You could have said any other. But I mean, that's not who can.

1799
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:52,000
Who else is there right now? Yeah, you know, Austin, who's a handyman that's real popular right now on the Internet or TV or whatever?

1800
01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:59,000
That's all the same time. I don't watch a lot of how to stuff on YouTube.

1801
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:01,000
OK, well, everybody knew what I was talking about.

1802
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:04,000
So it was a fine reference, Andy, but thanks for attacking it anyway.

1803
01:24:04,000 --> 01:24:11,000
So does Jason finally get laid in this one? Is he like, oh, shit, I'm going to cook.

1804
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:17,000
This movie, this movie was rated NC 17 and then they had to cut it back.

1805
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:25,000
What happened was and by the way, Michael Bay is a producer on this.

1806
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:34,000
So like, yeah, he he walked out of the screening.

1807
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:41,000
He was pissed because he was a producer on it and was involved quite a bit as you look at the stories behind it.

1808
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:47,000
But then something happened in the cut that he didn't like, which was the NC 17, because it has.

1809
01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:55,000
Listen, there are probably 30 titties in this movie and some full on nudity.

1810
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:57,000
Other than that, wonderful. And some full on sex.

1811
01:24:57,000 --> 01:25:03,000
Other than that, it's it's very it's got unsimulated photographic water off its own simulator.

1812
01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:07,000
It didn't go to that level, but it's close enough to get NC 17.

1813
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:11,000
And then they cut it to get the are Michael Bay back on board.

1814
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:18,000
Michael Bay. But yeah, they literally everyone except the sister who's the final girl.

1815
01:25:18,000 --> 01:25:21,000
Everyone but her shows their tits and backs.

1816
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:28,000
It's just I could see every other day being like, look, as he's putting on the Jason Matt, Jason's going to fuck you.

1817
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:34,000
But when Michael Bay says it's too much, it might actually be too much.

1818
01:25:34,000 --> 01:25:39,000
I think that I was reading other explosions. No, I was looking through trivia.

1819
01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:43,000
I was looking through which one to watch and I came across I think it I don't know which one it is.

1820
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:48,000
Five, six or whatever. But they.

1821
01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:55,000
One of them had they had to cut out, they released a version and one of the girls they used was 16 at the time.

1822
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:58,000
They showed her fully naked and they released it.

1823
01:25:58,000 --> 01:26:02,000
And then so they once they found out, they took it all back.

1824
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:05,000
But some motherfucker had it on VHS.

1825
01:26:05,000 --> 01:26:10,000
I don't think for pervy reasons, because he was like a video collector guy more or more or less.

1826
01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:13,000
That's what they said. Like he just archived shit.

1827
01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:20,000
And some dudes found him and got it. And then they took that copy, kept the they cut out the underage nudity part,

1828
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:26,000
but they kept the other stuff that was cut, which was like some other NC 17 style kills.

1829
01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:33,000
Yeah. So yeah, they did the same thing with the Romeo and Juliet.

1830
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:39,000
Because they were like 16 at the time, but they made the movie in Italy and they made us watch it in school.

1831
01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:42,000
So me in school being underage was like, oh, my. Yeah.

1832
01:26:42,000 --> 01:26:48,000
Like there's a part where Juliet's naked and you see your full on 16 year old tits and being 16 at the time watching that.

1833
01:26:48,000 --> 01:26:53,000
Oh, yeah. But no, later you're like, that's kind of fucked up.

1834
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:56,000
I didn't know that they were 16 at the time. I thought they were full on adults.

1835
01:26:56,000 --> 01:27:00,000
But now just recently they're suing they're suing that director.

1836
01:27:00,000 --> 01:27:05,000
Really? Yeah, the Italian director like, hey, we were kids and you filmed us naked.

1837
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:10,000
They're suing the Italian director? Oh, it's OK. It's Italy. You know, it's OK.

1838
01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:16,000
It's fine. It's OK. I saw his meatballs.

1839
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:26,000
Listen, the other things on this, the idiots put him in the lake at the end so that they could do the same final scene where he comes back up.

1840
01:27:26,000 --> 01:27:34,000
And it just cuts off. And then Mike, real quick, though. Yeah, that it's not it's not a bad way to feel like right now.

1841
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:38,000
Let's say Wolverine comes in. He's an unstoppable force.

1842
01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:42,000
But let's say we overpower him. We have gas that can knock him out or whatever.

1843
01:27:42,000 --> 01:27:49,000
Briefly, I think the best thing to do from that point on would be we put him in a concrete.

1844
01:27:49,000 --> 01:28:03,000
We put him in like a we had adamantium, we put him in an adamantium box, fill it with adamantium, seal it and then drop it in the middle of the ocean and tell no one and then kill ourselves so that no one ever finds out that he exists.

1845
01:28:03,000 --> 01:28:05,000
That's what you would do with like adjacent.

1846
01:28:05,000 --> 01:28:09,000
So like if you had adjacent and unstoppable killing machine or whatever, you would you don't have adamantium.

1847
01:28:09,000 --> 01:28:19,000
So you put him in like a concrete box filled with concrete, close it, drop it to the bottom of the ocean, not a lake that people go through all the time. And then you tell no one ever.

1848
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:23,000
And then you leave. Great. You need to make one of these movies because these guys don't know how to do it.

1849
01:28:23,000 --> 01:28:26,000
They just throw his body right in the damn lake where he always goes back.

1850
01:28:26,000 --> 01:28:29,000
Does pre-marital sex just like feel his strength, like anger, feel the hole?

1851
01:28:29,000 --> 01:28:33,000
Well, then he hears the cries of semen from a hundred miles out of shore.

1852
01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:39,000
And what and then and then I rated this movie four out of five.

1853
01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:46,000
But I was a three originally until I set back and thought about the soundtrack.

1854
01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:49,000
This thing has a great soundtrack.

1855
01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:53,000
Are we talking the instrumental score stuff?

1856
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:58,000
Soundtrack or like, no, they play a lot of music in this movie or the popular music, popular music playing.

1857
01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:07,000
All these in kind of mixed. Yes. A lot of 2000 Sister Christian, Freak Your Loneliness.

1858
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:10,000
These bands are so well, you know, that's that's a song.

1859
01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:13,000
Night Ranger, Sister Christian was the one I like it.

1860
01:29:13,000 --> 01:29:18,000
I love it. What? Which one's the thing you said to night Rangers, the band I've never heard of them.

1861
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:22,000
Sister Christian. You don't know that song. Yeah. OK.

1862
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:26,000
Wow. Interesting life you've led, Andy, to not hear of that song.

1863
01:29:26,000 --> 01:29:31,000
That was like a number one song for like three years in the in the 90s.

1864
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:35,000
Is this a nominee for high scores? Yeah.

1865
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:42,000
What was that? I scored that high score that we will come out.

1866
01:29:42,000 --> 01:29:46,000
Whatever. Just a great soundtrack to it.

1867
01:29:46,000 --> 01:29:49,000
Four out of five. I wasn't sure the shit on the soundtrack.

1868
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:51,000
I just didn't know who it was, Mike. I wasn't.

1869
01:29:51,000 --> 01:29:54,000
That's amazed me that you didn't know it was amazing.

1870
01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:57,000
You said a bunch of things I didn't even like five.

1871
01:29:57,000 --> 01:30:02,000
I know I didn't recognize any of it. You don't know Tic Tic Boom by Saliva.

1872
01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:05,000
Yes. I had that whole album. Yeah.

1873
01:30:05,000 --> 01:30:10,000
It's the hives, though, that perform. Saliva had a hot chick on the cover of the album.

1874
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:13,000
I like it. I love it. I want more of it. You know that song, right?

1875
01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:16,000
Yeah, I think so. OK. Check.

1876
01:30:16,000 --> 01:30:20,000
Click Boom. Is that the one you were talking about?

1877
01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:23,000
Yeah. And a lot of these that I don't know, but we're just good songs.

1878
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:27,000
OK. Yeah. When did they use click, click, boom? Ka ka boom.

1879
01:30:27,000 --> 01:30:34,000
Boom. OK. Cool. Probably one of the six.

1880
01:30:34,000 --> 01:30:37,000
Well, we did it, everybody. Like it matters.

1881
01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:41,000
We Friday the 13th on a Saturday. The fucking.

1882
01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:44,000
What about the whole series? What we say about Jason?

1883
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:48,000
Because there's so many bad, so many cheesy and some good cover them all.

1884
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:54,000
I would say, yeah, ten sounds great or ten X. Jason X is the one you put on at a party.

1885
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:57,000
You can put it on X. Jason X is great. That's a top.

1886
01:30:57,000 --> 01:31:00,000
That's a top. I need to watch this. I haven't seen this one.

1887
01:31:00,000 --> 01:31:03,000
I want to watch now because it actually sounds like a good movie.

1888
01:31:03,000 --> 01:31:06,000
It's actually a good movie. It sounds great.

1889
01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:12,000
I know the remake was directed by one of the like one of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre directors.

1890
01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:16,000
So like people, one of the critiques was that like it's very similar to Texas Chainsaw Massacre,

1891
01:31:16,000 --> 01:31:21,000
which was originally based off of Friday the one with what's her fucking name.

1892
01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:23,000
So it's kind of like inception. Yeah.

1893
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:29,000
The like 2003 Texas Chainsaw. The scary one. That one scared the fuck out of me as a kid.

1894
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:35,000
But it's also the brother is one of the guys from Supernatural.

1895
01:31:35,000 --> 01:31:39,000
Wait, scroll up. Who's my wife in that one? Which one?

1896
01:31:39,000 --> 01:31:44,000
Oh, I could change. So who's your wife?

1897
01:31:44,000 --> 01:31:47,000
What's her name? Oh, yeah, she's hot. Yeah.

1898
01:31:47,000 --> 01:31:49,000
Yeah. What's her name?

1899
01:31:49,000 --> 01:31:52,000
It's funny. There's like a there's a scene where it's like an overhead shot.

1900
01:31:52,000 --> 01:31:59,000
Jessica Beal. Yeah. Jessica Beal is like it's like an overhead shot of her like helping a guy that's like her in the bathroom or something.

1901
01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:01,000
And you get like just a glimpse of ass crack.

1902
01:32:01,000 --> 01:32:04,000
And being a kid, you're like, oh, hell yeah.

1903
01:32:04,000 --> 01:32:07,000
I was like that was one of those special pause moments.

1904
01:32:07,000 --> 01:32:10,000
So if you're listening, Jessica Beal, this is what she's up to now.

1905
01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:15,000
What? That's just the costume. It's the costume.

1906
01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:21,000
Yeah. Yeah. The most memorable scene from Texas Chainsaw Massacre was Dwight as a mermaid.

1907
01:32:21,000 --> 01:32:24,000
Oh, my God. Not memorable for me. I don't know what you're talking about.

1908
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:26,000
Dwight when he's like, well, he's dead.

1909
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:33,000
Like his body would they like cut him up and like put him kind of like it was like a mermaid looking thing made of made of a bunch of body parts.

1910
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:36,000
Oh, gross. I don't remember that.

1911
01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:41,000
The fucked up one was where he hangs that guy on a hook and he's like tapping the piano.

1912
01:32:41,000 --> 01:32:47,000
Yeah, there's a whole game where you can escape from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre people or Jason, right?

1913
01:32:47,000 --> 01:32:50,000
We didn't do Texas Chainsaw Massacre this year, did we? No.

1914
01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:53,000
Well, catch us next year with Saw. We'll do we'll do Texas Chainsaw.

1915
01:32:53,000 --> 01:32:57,000
We'll do Saw. We'll do we'll do Scream. We'll do Halloween.

1916
01:32:57,000 --> 01:33:01,000
We're going to do more famous tears. We're trying to think a little bit outside the box, a little more freedom.

1917
01:33:01,000 --> 01:33:04,000
We're feeling it out. This is our first Halloween season.

1918
01:33:04,000 --> 01:33:08,000
Join us tomorrow for the Freddie versus Jason.

1919
01:33:08,000 --> 01:33:10,000
Right. Join us tomorrow for Freddie versus Jason.

1920
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:18,000
You know something cool I heard about when I was doing research on these is when Freddie versus Jason originally how they wanted it to end,

1921
01:33:18,000 --> 01:33:24,000
but they couldn't get the rights was that Jason and Freddie both kill each other.

1922
01:33:24,000 --> 01:33:30,000
They go to hell where they meet Pinhead, but they couldn't get the rights to pinhead so they couldn't do it.

1923
01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:35,000
I mean, that'd be dope. That'd be so like that could have been one of those universes that just continued.

1924
01:33:35,000 --> 01:33:43,000
You get Freddie versus Jason, Freddie versus Jason versus Pinhead, Freddie versus Jason versus Pinhead versus Michael.

1925
01:33:43,000 --> 01:33:46,000
Well, see, there's so many there's so many different combinations of these things.

1926
01:33:46,000 --> 01:33:49,000
And the Bravers Jason took 10 years to fucking make.

1927
01:33:49,000 --> 01:33:53,000
And when it finally came out, it fucking did great.

1928
01:33:53,000 --> 01:33:58,000
And so like they could do Leprechaun versus Chucky. They could do fucking make these fucking things.

1929
01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:01,000
They really could. What's stopping them?

1930
01:34:01,000 --> 01:34:04,000
Greed and money. You've got to get them to agree on the money.

1931
01:34:04,000 --> 01:34:07,000
If they tell you this, wouldn't you go see Leprechaun versus Chucky?

1932
01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:09,000
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

1933
01:34:09,000 --> 01:34:12,000
But I'd go see it. Would you go see it in theaters?

1934
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:16,000
Say just say yes. Probably. Yes, I would.

1935
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:18,000
Yes, I would.

1936
01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:20,000
I you know what, though?

1937
01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:28,000
I think a lot of a lot of companies are sleeping on the fact that you just you can do really convincing computer animation now.

1938
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:32,000
I would take one of these movies as a CGI movie.

1939
01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:34,000
How does how do you guys feel about that?

1940
01:34:34,000 --> 01:34:41,000
Like not I'm not saying I'm not saying we get the next Friday the 13th movie is CGI.

1941
01:34:41,000 --> 01:34:49,000
But what about a CGI Freddie versus Jason with Pinhead with Chucky with like we get like a monster fighting?

1942
01:34:49,000 --> 01:34:54,000
I think if you're going to go CGI, you go really hard, though, because then you can get away with more.

1943
01:34:54,000 --> 01:34:58,000
Sure. So you like really gory over the top.

1944
01:34:58,000 --> 01:35:01,000
Like it's all CGI. So no one can really get mad.

1945
01:35:01,000 --> 01:35:06,000
It's like a video game. I'd like to see one like an anime kind of that kind of animation.

1946
01:35:06,000 --> 01:35:10,000
That'd be fun, too. Like they did Star Wars Visions and all those different art styles.

1947
01:35:10,000 --> 01:35:14,000
They told that'd be cool. Just anime is like super gory.

1948
01:35:14,000 --> 01:35:18,000
Well, yeah, just what got animated recently. Justice League and Rick and Morty.

1949
01:35:18,000 --> 01:35:29,000
Well, what's that boys universe one that's diabolical, diabolical, but they also have the their visual story with Adam.

1950
01:35:29,000 --> 01:35:34,000
There's a visual novel on Steam or Epic Games.

1951
01:35:34,000 --> 01:35:36,000
I think that I picked up for free.

1952
01:35:36,000 --> 01:35:42,000
But anyway, join us tomorrow for Freddie versus Jason one and two for the Fried Rice podcast.

1953
01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:48,000
Actual full episode. Another night of 17 nights of Halloween.

1954
01:35:48,000 --> 01:35:52,000
I don't know if we're actually including those nights or if we're not, but whatever.

1955
01:35:52,000 --> 01:35:57,000
The numbers don't mean anything here. We did the math months ago. Who gives a fuck?

1956
01:35:57,000 --> 01:36:01,000
You got it. We were. This is from us to you. You fucking pumpkin sluts.

1957
01:36:01,000 --> 01:36:04,000
So don't worry about the details. Stoner math. It's stoner math.

1958
01:36:04,000 --> 01:36:08,000
You pumpkin sluts with me as always is Austin.

1959
01:36:08,000 --> 01:36:16,000
Errol with me as always is Michael Larson.

1960
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:25,000
Julius with me as always is Brendan.

1961
01:36:25,000 --> 01:36:38,000
Please wake up.

1962
01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:57,000
Please wake up.

1963
01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:35,000
Please wake up.

1964
01:37:38,000 --> 01:37:41,000
Please wake up.