And welcome, bitch, to another episode of 17 Nights of Halloween.
Bitch, it's Fried Rice Podcast, bitch.
Just because he's a bitch a lot.
And this is the Nightmare on Elm Street episode, bitch.
With me, as always, is Austin.
He's a bitch.
Pharrell.
Check me out on Shutter.
Michael, he's an old bitch.
Larson.
Hey, everybody.
And Brennan.
One, two, Brennan's coming for you.
Three, four, shut the door.
Five, six, gonna...
Pick up sticks.
Seven, eight.
I don't know the rest.
Edible, he ate.
Bitch, simply.
It's never been more fitting, but please wake up, Andy.
God damn it, Brennan.
Yeah, one day I'm gonna wake up, everybody, and your whole universe disappears because
I'm holding it together up here, right?
So just know that if Brennan succeeds, he kills us all.
And Singularity will be playing on your monitor on your screen.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
We'll get into it.
Which one was the actual Nightmare this week?
Yeah, that was years ago.
Sorry, months ago.
A month ago.
It's still stuck with us.
I can't believe I almost shot you, Mike.
So welcome, everybody, to the Nightmare on Elm Street episode, where we all had the opportunity
to choose a Nightmare on Elm Street something, probably a movie, because I know that the
show that they proposed didn't really take off.
There was a show that was called Nightmare on Elm Street, like, New Nightmares or something.
Not New Nightmares.
There was one season, I guess.
Yeah, apparently they did like, it was a prank show or whatever where they would scare people.
Like I think that's what it was.
That's what I saw online.
But whatever, I didn't watch that.
So all right.
You mean you didn't watch all of them?
No, I didn't have time this week.
And honestly, as far as the Nightmare series goes, they're so similar.
They're all similar, yeah.
They very much are.
So let's get into it.
I'll ask, okay, I'm going to do things a little bit differently this time.
Who watched the first Nightmare?
No one.
Okay.
Who watched Nightmare on Elm Street 2?
Well, thank God, because that is like the worst.
Who watched Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors?
So did the three of us.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
I looked up what's the best one and there was the first one and then that one.
That's great.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, and Brendan, instead of us going through the list, why don't you just tell us what
you watched?
I watched Wes Craven's New Nightmare.
New Nightmare.
So we have one for New Nightmare.
Let's do that one first and then we will...
The three of us combined, yeah.
Yeah.
Because I think, well, I think that yours also contains the same actress as mine, the
character of Nancy.
Her name's Heather, Heather something.
Yeah, but she's not Nancy in yours.
Not Nancy in mine.
She plays as...
She's Heather in hers.
So mine takes place after I think five or six when Freddy dies.
Is it the same actress though?
Is Heather allowed in your camp or whatever?
Same actress.
Yeah.
So it's by Heather instead of Nancy.
So it's basically, it's set in reality after the last Freddy movie was filmed and Freddy
died and then they're just kind of going about their lives, living their lives.
Nancy has a husband and a kid.
Her husband was one of the visual effects artists, not visual effects.
So the actress who played...
Yes.
Who played...
Her name's Heather in this.
It's going to be confusing.
That's her actual name though.
Because here's, let's just, we're just going to do a spoiler for ours real quick.
Our Nancy, the Nancy from Nightmare One dies in Nightmare Three.
They have a funeral for her at the end.
But she comes back in later ones.
She comes back?
Nancy comes back?
Nancy comes back.
Because I know what you're saying is the new Nightmare is...
I don't know if it's a different Nancy.
Is it meta, this new one?
This is very meta, extremely meta.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's confusing.
It's super confusing.
My wife was watching it and she's like, what's going on?
Especially since her actual name is Heather.
Her actor's name is also Heather.
That makes it even more...
Because then you said Nancy has a husband and kids.
I'm like, no.
No.
Robert, Robert Englund is Robert Englund.
Wes Craven's in it.
Like all of the, all the actors are in it and they're playing themselves, but not really
themselves.
And so like, Freddie died in five or six, whichever one it was that he dies.
And then, so they're kind of just going on about their life.
And he dies in three.
He dies in every one.
He dies in all of them.
But the final one, he finally dies.
For real this time.
And after that, they kind of just like go on about their life, whatever.
They have an earthquake one day and like Heather has a dream.
And then Nancy, I'll just call her Nancy to save the confusion for you guys.
That doesn't.
Doesn't help at all.
It makes it more confusing.
Okay, then I'll call her Heather.
I guess.
We have to.
So she starts having these dreams about Freddie coming back and stuff.
And she's kind of like, what the hell?
And like come to find out her husband's been working with Wes Craven.
He's writing a new, a new Freddie movie.
And basically as he's writing the movie, the husband goes to work and then she gets a call
from them, from, from Robert who's wanting her to work on the movie.
It's like, are we going to work on the new movie that he's working on?
And she's like, no, I'm not.
We were done with that.
I have a kid now.
I don't want to be in horror movies anymore.
I'm done.
And it starts to progress and she starts having these more and more nightmares.
Her son starts having the nightmares and starts sleepwalking and just doing kind of creepy
stuff and like sleepwalking is like one, two, Freddie's coming for you.
It's getting progressively worse and worse.
And basically.
No.
Okay.
He's, he's sleepwalking.
I feel like she's, she's the actress who played Nancy in one and three and maybe more.
But would it really be that surprising for her child who's probably seen her movies to
be sleepwalking and singing the song that like is probably a very, people probably sing
that to her on the streets.
Like when they're walking, like when they're at, when they're at the dog park, people walk
up, Oh my God, one, two, Freddie's coming for you.
How are you Nancy?
You know, like all that, right?
So I don't know that's okay, but continue.
Yeah.
So the nightmares start getting worse and worse.
And then like, you know, the sun gets scratches or something like that.
And like the husband is off working in Palm Springs on a movie set for the weekend or
whatever.
And her son has like a crazy nightmare, wakes up screaming and crying and she calls the
husband like, you need to come home.
Like, and it's like the middle of the day and he's like, okay, I'll be there in like
four hours.
And so he hits the road, kind of starts driving, skips forward like a few hours later and he's
doing the like nodding out while driving thing.
And then you see Freddie's arm kind of come up from under his seat and kind of just poke
his pants for a second and go back down.
He just kind of like, okay, whatever.
And then the next second he just falls asleep and then it reaches up, stabs him in the chest
and you know, cuts him up and he crashes the car and she wakes up.
It's a dream that she was having.
And then her, her son's downstairs watching one of her movies, I think probably three
watching three and he's just standing there and one, two, Freddie's coming for you and
he's sleepwalking.
And she like wakes him up and he screams at her.
And then there's a doorbell ring and it's the cops.
Your husband's dead.
She's like, what?
So she goes to the board, see the body.
She looks at the body, the face, and then she sees hint of scratches and she's like,
wait, I want to see that again.
Like I want to see lower.
And like they pull it back and see the claws down the chest and the guy's like, yeah, it's
a really bad accident.
That's why we don't lift past the face.
Like it's why we just show you the face.
And so then she goes home and like they're basically freaking out and she's calling everybody.
She calls the actor who plays Freddie, Robert.
Yeah.
How does that conversation go?
Well she's talking to him on the phone and she's like, I don't know what's going on.
Like I'm having these dreams about Freddie and this and that.
And he's like, dreams about Freddie?
And he's like in a room painting.
He's like, hold on.
And he's just like aggressively painting.
And then she's like, I got to take care of something.
I'll talk to you later.
And then I'll see you tomorrow or whatever.
Hangs up and then it shows this painting and it's like all these little faces and it's
Freddie.
It's like a pretty cool drawing of Freddie, like just attacking faces and stuff.
And it's just silly.
And then she goes and talks to Wes Craven and he's like, you know, he's like I dream
every night and I read a little bit of the movie.
He's like, Freddie was an entity who we contained in these movies for 10 years and now he wants
into our reality.
And he's like, I don't know where the movie is going.
And so it's silly.
It's really silly.
So wished him into reality.
So Wes Craven is saying that Freddie this whole time has been in his dreams.
He's contained him in a series of movies.
He has to do it every so often.
He Freddie at Bay.
Yes.
And it's been what, too long?
And now they.
Well, now, yeah, now he's trying to make it to their reality.
But there's one thing keeping him out.
It's her son.
No, it's her.
Oh, she's the gatekeeper.
And he's like, like, so you have to defeat him.
She's like, how do I do that?
He defeated him before.
Movie.
Yeah.
Write me a script, Wes.
What's going on?
And he's like, well, it's kind of writing every night.
And then you see like on the screen, the script is up and it's the conversation they just
had and it's fate to black and it fades.
So it's it's it's silly.
I mean, it's all breaking.
Oh, it's great.
I love it.
But it's it's so corny and cheesy.
It's you know, it's Nightmare on Elm Street.
Does Wes Craven at any point fight Freddie?
No, that's pretty much it.
You see him at her husband's funeral and then there is that's it.
It's like, I can't have been great.
The actress who plays, he should have fought a skeleton.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, there's a skeleton fight in ours.
And that was real life.
Jason and the Argonauts style.
Yeah, it was.
It was pretty cool.
I like this melted this new Freddie fucking melted melted cheese face.
Yeah.
Because his face is all weird and crazy.
And it's it's I mean, it's cool.
Like when he comes to reality, he looked different than he did in like the older movies and his
face was kind of more fucked up and more like more creepy.
Maybe it's just because they make him over the years.
Yeah.
Does Freddie say bitch in the movie?
Oh, I have a lot.
I'm sure he does at some point.
But it's it's funny because like her son, it's the same kid from he was in Mercury Rising
and then he was in Pet Sematary.
Like he's been in a lot.
OK.
There's a lot.
Yeah.
So, yeah, this is this him in real life?
Yeah.
Nobody in real life but a dream like they can only only they can see him at that point.
Nobody likes the green hat.
I don't know why they went with that.
Yeah.
Is the green hat a new thing?
Yeah.
And that people don't like it.
Oh, it does look kind of stupid.
Does the sweater.
What did you have a happy for?
Has he had a hat?
Has he had a hat this whole time?
I thought it was a black fedora.
I had a hat at one point in our movie.
It was black.
Yeah.
It looks similar.
A fedora.
He had a fedora in our movie.
The green doesn't really work.
You know, this this hat.
We like the hat.
We like the iconic.
Let's update.
Let's make it baby shit green.
Yeah.
It just he looks like the Riddler a little bit like a Riddler.
Looks more like a like a comic book villain.
Yeah.
He's like, what are you doing?
I'm a Riddler.
He was a burn victim.
Yeah.
Batman 66.
So, OK.
He looks like his face made out of Eddie from the Iron Maiden covers.
That's what he looks like.
That's what his face looks like.
I don't know what that means, but I like the imagery that you used to say it.
I don't know what Iron Maiden Eddie is.
Yeah.
The guy that's on the cover of every Iron Maiden album.
Yeah.
Specifically, the the futuristic one.
Really like a late like just the way his skin made it research time.
Yeah.
Eddie.
Oh, look at the album cover.
I'm sure it's all pop up.
Is that him?
Oh, yeah.
He's a he's a skeleton dude.
Yeah.
I love that one.
But the fuck I forgot which album it was.
Oh, right there.
Somewhere in time.
Where?
Bottom right.
Right there.
Yeah, that one.
You're a big maiden guy.
Yeah.
All right.
You cannot get a fucking bigger.
You clicked on eight different ways to literally.
There we go.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
Now that you've now that I understand the reference you just made.
My references are deep.
Fuck is cut.
Listen to the singularity episode for a deep cut from Austin song that's in there.
Maybe you've been a few other cuts on Mike's face for choosing that fucking movie.
That's the worst nightmare of all.
But OK, so he comes into so it does.
OK, continue.
So he's starting to come into reality.
Like, basically, he's kind of coming after her son mostly.
And it's kind of cute because he's like he's got like a little stuffed animal like dinosaur
T. Rex.
And he like puts them underneath his covers the foot of his bed.
And he's like, he's what keeps the bad man down there.
Like mom's like, OK.
Like, she's like, whatever.
Like, no big deal.
And then as it goes on, she's like, oh, OK.
Like, he needs this dinosaur.
And like he like he has kind of a mental episodes.
They put him in the mental hospital.
And she leaves her kid there and goes home.
And then she has a nightmare that Freddy's coming after her son.
And then she goes to the hospital like back to the hospital.
And he's like had an episode during the night.
And they've kind of sedated him and put him in a room with oxygen.
So she goes in there with him and like falls asleep, has another nightmare and wakes up
and he's gone.
And she's freaking out.
And then they're like, well, like you're going crazy.
Like what?
Like your son's just like he's not sleeping.
And like neither are you.
Like what are you?
You're keeping him awake.
Like and then now they're like calling CPS and like doing all this other shit.
Meanwhile in the other room, her son's in there now with the babysitter and like nurses
and like the nurses are like going to sedate him, give him some medicine to sleep, give
him a shot.
And he starts falling asleep.
Like the babysitter punches the nurses, kicks them out, locks the door and is like fighting
to keep him awake.
And then he kind of like half goes asleep and then is like sleep awake, sleep, you know.
And then Freddie appears in reality.
He could see him with the babysitter can't at first.
He's right behind her.
He stabs the babysitter in the back and then she could see him after she got stabbed.
And then he's kind of pulling her up on the roof.
Yeah, like up on the roof, up to the top.
And the kids just like, ah, like it's just kind of, it was kind of just silly, but you
know.
And then so she dies.
And then the mom comes in and like after all that in the, all the chaos, the kid somehow
makes it out and he's like, you know, the house is just across the freeway.
It's where the home is.
He's like, I got to get to my dinosaur.
He's got to keep me safe.
I feel like it's Rex or something.
I don't know what the dinosaur's name was.
So like she sees her son.
He's like going up the embankment, go over the freeway, cross the freeway to get to their
house and she's like, ah, I was like freaking out.
And somehow this kid froggers across the freeway.
No problem.
And then at some point a giant Freddy claw comes and scoops him up by like his overalls
or whatever and like holds him in the air and like no one really thinks anything of
a floating kid, I guess.
I don't over the freeway over on the top of the freeway.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's weird.
He's coming into reality in a weird way.
Yeah.
With a green hat.
No one likes, no one likes.
It's all different dangling kids, Michael Jackson style over passes.
And then finally they somehow both safely cross the freeway and get home.
And then the kid gets home first and then she kind of comes in later and she's like
looking for him.
She goes to his room.
She finds this dinosaur tore up, which is like, oh no.
And like he's left like a trail of breadcrumbs, but it was a sleeping pills and like leading
to the bed.
And she's like, oh, you want me to go with you in your dreams.
And she starts like just swallowing sleeping pills.
And I'm just like the mom, the mom starts taking, taking you to the bed.
And she's like, I'm going to go with you in sleep with Nancy or Nancy Heather.
Nancy Heather.
Nancy.
Yeah.
And well, at this point she called one of the actors, the actor who played her dad and
she's calling him John.
And she, he's calling and he's calling her Nancy.
And she's like, why are you calling me Nancy?
He's like, why are you calling me John?
And then so like the last like talk they had, like as he's leaving, she's like, okay daddy,
bye.
Like, I guess it's her dad.
I don't in the movie you're, you're watched.
Yeah.
So, but he died.
So the two movies are blending together.
Yeah.
Kind of.
The two, our two realities are blending together.
Yes.
Because Nancy and so she was like calling the actor, but it really was, but he thought
he was her dad.
Yes.
That's a trip.
Yeah.
Like cause he's having that they're all being affected by it.
So it's like, yeah.
It's like, I don't know.
Like they don't really, after her scene with Robert, Robert England on the phone, you don't
see him again.
So who knows if he just went full Freddie mode and became Freddie, you know, in this
reality.
I don't know what's going on, but it's.
Did they imply that?
No.
Cause she, she gets in the bed as she's taking the sleeping pills and then she like looks
under the sheet and then it turns into a giant tunnel.
So she goes down the tunnel and that's where she finds her son and Freddie.
And then they have their kind of like last minute battle and then, uh, defeat him.
I don't, I started falling asleep.
So here's, here's a question for you just to let me know more about how well they blend
together these movies.
Yeah.
Is there a giant penis worm?
No, there was no giant penis worm.
A giant one eyed penis.
It becomes a one eyed penis worm.
It's a two eyed penis worm and then someone stabs it in its fucking eye and it becomes
a one eyed penis.
No one eyed penis worms.
There was like little snakes, his weird snakes.
The little tiny penis worms.
Yeah.
Tiny penis worms.
Yeah.
The kid, the kid stabs him in the eye with it, stabs Freddie in the eye with it.
Bunch of one eyed penis worms.
Bunch of little one eyed.
They went the Jurassic Park route where it's like in the first one you get a T-Rex.
In the third one you get the little dinosaurs.
Yeah.
Little copies.
Yeah.
Little copies.
Well it's like his, the kid's running from Freddie and he goes through this little wall
that's like, it almost looks like a furnace.
And like he climbs in and like Freddie's kind of reaching through and he's trying to like,
he's extending his arm to reach the kid on the other side.
Goofy.
Like goofy.
Like it's just like, like.
Like stretch arms.
Like dogro gadget arms.
Okay yeah.
You know.
And.
Yeah.
And as he's like, and it's, you see Nancy Heather, whatever, I'll just call her that
I guess.
Uh.
Nether.
Yeah.
Nether.
You see her kind of coming up behind them trying to get to them and you just see like
Freddie's legs sticking out the back.
Sticking out the back and you just see him reaching and that's when she comes up and
she stabs him in the balls.
And he's just like, ah.
Birch.
Yeah.
And then somehow the kid squeezes through a wall, pushes like these trees down and
comes out behind her and they push Freddie into the room and then lock him in and burn
him in there.
And that's how they end the nightmare.
Well okay.
So that's how that ends.
But is at the very end, do they hint.
I started falling asleep.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
Because there's always a little bit of a.
Crazy dream.
Freddie's not dead.
Yeah.
We literally get one in ours.
In every single one.
It's like ours is the most direct.
It's, he's not dead.
You didn't do it.
Why did.
Like okay.
Freddie just in my opinion, I was going to maybe save this for the end of all this, but
just in general, we're talking about how scary movie villains are.
On one hand, it's terrifying to be pursued in your dreams.
Yeah.
But if you ever had the upper hand and knew like Neo status or Morpheus status.
Control your dreams.
Like you could control it.
Then it's the coolest thing ever because if you survive.
Yeah.
Wizard mode.
Yeah.
Sure.
We'll get there.
But if you survive a nightmare on Elm street situation and you come out on the other end,
you're then able to every night you go to dream have full blown lucid dreaming, which
I think is the coolest thing on earth.
If I wish I could lucid dream, I've heard people could do it.
Not I know that there's some people say they do it all the time.
I don't believe.
I feel like it's an every once in a while thing.
I more than likely don't dream.
Like I don't remember my dreams.
You know, can you lucid dream or have you?
I've as a kid, there's this chick across the street that was like always into potions and
shit.
She had a friend that shot thought she was a vampire.
So she was into all that shit, like trying to control your dreams.
There was like a website she went to.
I forgot what it was called, but it had all these potions and super goth girl, super goth.
She was like, well, she was like a more like punk rock, but she was also into weird mystical
shit too at the time.
You guys ever go on a date?
No, it's like they were like family friends.
Like they lived like her parents were friends with my dad and they want your parents want
it more than anything.
Well, she fucking married and has a kid now.
So that could have been your kid, your wife.
You could have had a hot goth chick who knew how to make potions, my dude.
But instead, yeah.
Are you happier where you're at?
Yes.
Did she make you potions and you didn't drink them?
No, we just looked up and we're like, we don't have rosemary.
Shit like that.
Yeah.
So what the fuck is baby's breath?
Did she live across the street from you?
Yeah.
I had a girl when I was in elementary school lived across the street.
We played doctor a few times with each other.
But it was just, you know, she was the girl that, you know, like was like a best friend
and, you know, you kiss.
But just to see what it was like.
Yeah.
And then we moved.
I hadn't seen her.
You going to start crying now?
No.
Cool story.
We're just talking about girls across the street.
Anyone else have any girl next door stories growing up?
No, wrong podcast.
Which one are we doing?
Freddie?
Freddie.
I think Freddie overall, if I could control my dreams, I would annihilate.
And I would do it so creatively.
I would make Freddie think he's winning because he would just be killing clone after clone.
I would have so many versions of ninjutsu.
You're going full Dio clones and all, right?
So I would, I would just fuck you and your Hokage bitch.
That's exactly what I would fucking do.
All right, Freddie, come on site.
And I would fuck with him.
Like he would start killing one of my clones.
My clone would get off on it and ejaculate on his face.
And he'd be like, what the fuck, bitch?
And it's like, oh, you like that?
And then I, you know, like I would do a bunch of weird shit.
And then the whole time this would all be taking place on like on like my phone screen
because like I'm controlling the dream, right?
So it's just like, I'd just be watching just hitting like little icons that just make Freddie
get fucked up and shit.
I'd be having a great time all while drinking a Mitchell.
A lot of, and you know, just fucking looking at my 18 inch penis and just flying around.
I would just invincible.
I would kill myself.
That's how I defeat Freddie.
I would take a bunch of sleeping pills, like so much that I overdose.
So when I am dreaming, he can't even kill me.
He just sees me like fade away.
How do you die if you overdose on sleeping pills in your dream?
And then Freddie's like, oh, bitch.
He just like tries to swipe at me and I just fade away.
Like Marty McFly's hand.
You would just be drifting through the dream.
He's like, all right, bitch.
And then wait, wait, wait.
No, wait, where are you going?
No, no, no.
Get back here.
You're just like, fuck you.
Flipping them off, fading away.
Fuck you, bitch.
You're the bitch.
He disappeared.
The one that got away.
God damn it.
The bitch that got away.
Suicide's a real problem in this country, bitch.
The thing that I always thought was funny about the Nightmare on Elm Street movies is
just how quickly and easily people fall asleep in those movies.
It's like, it doesn't like who falls asleep like that?
Like, I mean, I'm an hour before I fall asleep.
If you give me a handful of Adderall, I will be up till Friday.
It makes me proud to be an insomniac.
Pack a cigarette, handful of Adderall, let's go.
I'm happy I'm an insomniac then.
Yeah, right now.
If you sleep good, you could get murdered by Freddy.
Okay, good.
I'm glad that I have problems and thoughts when I go to bed to keep me up at night.
Going to bed thinking of joke ideas instead of sleeping.
I mean, but I'll tell you this.
Ever since I've been in my 30s, it's like now when I get home and I'm like, all right,
it's time to play a video game that I've been really wanting to play.
Yeah, that's, well, that's, yeah.
Three hours later and my character's running into a wall and I'm listening to Star Wars
Cantina music.
It's not good.
It's aggressive, alien.
Well, no, it's not that.
It's the new Outlaws game.
That's what I'm saying.
Is it good?
I heard it's Ubisoft trash with a different wrapper.
Oh, really?
That's what I've heard.
I don't know.
I'm enjoying it.
I think the world is cool and I like the speeder bike.
And is there already a bunch of like DLC and stuff you have to buy to play or can you just?
I still think Jedi and Survivor are like the two like top tier as far as story as far as
not fucking with the canon too hard.
I still want a new Knights of the Old Republic.
Y'all are on some kind of a Star Wars tangent.
We can talk about Star Wars on our.
Oh, yeah.
They canceled the acolyte.
Did they really?
Yes.
It got over and they're blaming it on the alt right.
You don't like it because your race is biggest.
It's like, no, your show is bad.
That's why I mean, no one liked it.
It got review bomb.
No, people just reviewed it accurately.
Well, two things can be true.
Yeah, there could be multiple truths.
Maybe I bet a shitty show and I take a guy with a swastika on his forehead tattooed and
was like, you know, I don't like the storyline of the show.
I don't like how they violate the canon.
And you know, the actress, the black actress, she did a great job, but it's just the story,
you know, that would be great if that's if that's what it really was.
Yeah.
Like, I never I will say this.
I never watched back to back to Freddie.
Back to Freddie.
So if you're drunk, if you sleep drunk, are you drunk in the Freddie dream?
That'd be great.
It was a bitch.
Yeah, I'm going to get you, bitch.
What's up, dude?
Let's have a drink.
Don't be a pussy.
Gag stand.
Let's let Andy go through the movie because he's the best at the line by line.
We'll kick in whenever it's.
Oh, I wasn't even going to line by line this one.
It's so silly.
So we watched Nightmare on Elm Street three dream warriors and honestly, seven times speed
and it's hilarious.
He watched it.
He watched it at seven to thirty two times speed because he didn't watch a nightmare
movie.
So I was like, here, you can watch the one we watch.
And I skipped all the bullshit and only showed him the killings stuff, which is all that
matters.
How long was that one?
Puppets, the guy you saw the three warriors, right?
Yeah, I feel like I've seen it before, but it's been a long time.
So when he's a claymation, Freddie, he takes he takes all the guys veins and like uses
them like a puppet and makes them run like to the building.
And then one guy sees what's happening and he grabs the food tray and he starts banging
on all the doors at 30 times speed.
That is fucking hilarious to watch because he goes, it's like that.
And then it really is.
It's great.
He's like running down the hallway.
It becomes a workplace comedy.
It does.
Yeah, it does.
It's pretty funny at thirty two.
The penis monster really fast.
Yeah.
The shaky penis.
Yeah.
So look, all you need to know about Dream Warriors is that it's a sequel.
And this one, what makes it interesting is that there's a bunch of kids that have all
tried to kill themselves, quote unquote.
They're all in an insane asylum, not wanting to sleep.
They're all experiencing pretty shit.
And the people there are like, no, bitch, you got to sleep.
They're not saying bitch, but you know, they they're like they keep like giving them sedation
and putting them in rooms and stuff.
I'm just picturing they're all Jesse Pinkman.
Everyone's like, bitch, there's like a black dude, a punk chick, a guy that can't walk,
a guy that can't talk, another Aerosmith like an Aerosmith reference.
Don't walk this way.
Don't talk this way.
There's a lot of Matrix references that pre Matrix in this.
And those are all docking Larry Fishburn, the whole idea of dreams and you die in your
dream, die in real life.
Don't you take my Larry Fishburn fucking note.
I'm ad living as I go to him.
But I pointed out the Matrix.
Lawrence Fishburn, who plays Morpheus, goes by Larry Fishburn in this movie.
The act is the actual name.
So what did you say?
It's a reference to what?
Docking, not yours.
It's all docking references when you were saying Motley Crue.
It's actually docked.
What's I've never referenced in this movie.
I don't know who Motley Crue.
I don't know anything about Motley Crue.
I don't know why I would mention it.
What did who mentioned Motley Crue?
You said Aerosmith.
I said Aerosmith.
I said Iron Maiden.
Some other band.
I said they're actually docking references.
Weren't the 80s great?
They're literally docking references in the movie.
Before you get upset, I don't know what docking means or what it's referencing.
You don't know who docking is.
Docking is another hard rock band.
The closing credits to this features the video for this movie, which is docking.
Okay.
Yeah.
There's literally docking references throughout this movie.
I didn't know.
I didn't catch any docking references.
Well I watched it at 1X speed.
But I also have never heard it.
Hard to recognize the music when you're watching it at 2 to 32X speed.
I listened to that last song and it sucked.
We're dream warriors.
If that's docking, I'm never going to listen to that.
Docking, I've never heard of them before in my life.
I wasn't thinking about the music.
The only reason I said Aerosmith right now wasn't a reference to the music whatsoever.
It was one can't talk and one can't walk.
I just stupidly was talking about the song Walk This Way and Talk This Way.
That's all.
Okay.
And then Iron Maiden was what?
That was before when we were talking about what Freddie looked like, the cover of the
covers.
Yeah.
And now we have docking.
There's also another Matrix.
You pointed this out.
I will give you credit, Andy.
The girl I watched at 35X speed jumps through a window and falls down some stairs just like
Trinity does.
It's pretty cool.
I feel like I need to see it at 35X speed just to see.
Do the flippy kung fu scene.
Do the flippy kung fu at 32X speed.
That would be great.
How about Penis Monster?
I think it's Penis Monster.
Okay.
All right.
Where's Penis Monster?
Oh, it's earlier.
We find out that she can bring people into her dreams.
I feel like they wanted that one guy to be Clint Eastwood so bad.
The guy that's investigating goes to the funeral.
Here's the puppet.
The doctor.
But not at the right speed.
This scene I've definitely seen.
Yeah.
Yeah, at 35X speed.
Here we go.
Look at this motherfucker watch.
He's going to hit all the...
I'm going to fucking jump.
I need it here.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
And all this guy does is he brings everybody to his window to watch this motherfucker die.
Yeah.
Okay.
So we're going to skip forward.
What year was this one made?
87.
And here I was born.
Yeah, even when he goes...Do we miss Penis Monster?
Even when the doctor goes to that funeral.
Right there.
Look at him.
And then she even has the little sachet or whatever the fuck from...
Oh, I got you.
I thought he was trying to be...
Who's that Bill...
Who's the guy that has the talk show?
Bill Maher.
He looks exactly like Bill Maher.
He looks like Bill Maher.
I thought it was Bill Maher.
My wife was like, is that Bill Maher?
Bill Marijuana.
All right.
Oh, Mike, titties.
Titties, titties, titties.
Oh, titties, Mike.
Titties, titties, titties, titties.
Yeah, 9.5 on the titties on this movie.
They're really good titties.
Oh, yeah.
What a cock block.
This is the worst death of the movie.
Oh, wait.
I think we've missed Penis Monster.
That must have happened.
Oh, yeah.
There it is.
Wow.
What a click.
All right.
What's that?
The serpent eating itself?
Here we go.
Here's eight times.
We'll go six times.
Shit.
Four times.
I like how you know exactly which key it is to speed up the movie.
There we go.
Just Penis Monster.
And then she's going to...
Oh, God.
Yep.
Did they blow up just there?
And the story is on that monster, it was originally pink.
It was.
And they colored it at post because everybody's like, they were all the actors and shit were
watching the dailies laugh and it finally got there.
That would be...
I mean, but it would make sense if it was pink if it was the color of...
Because what was it supposed to be?
Just Freddy turned into a snake?
Yeah, it was Freddy.
Yeah.
Big old dick.
Yeah, big old dick.
So it's...
Okay, we get Nancy comes back.
So they're all in the insane asylum.
There's a new doctor in town.
He comes in, he's like, I'm going to try to help these kids.
I'm going to help these kids.
And he doesn't really believe them.
There's a nurse ratchet and she is even more upset.
You've got cool Larry Fishburne as a guy who's just, you know, he's cool.
He lets them...
Cool orderly guy, yeah.
Cool orderly, not a good orderly because...
He just lets them do whatever they want.
Definitely one of those chicks died because of him, for him letting her in that room.
And she has a habit of burning cigarettes on herself to stay awake and he lets her have
a fucking box carton of cigarettes or whatever.
So whatever, bad, but cool.
And then yeah, they...
Nancy comes in as an even newer doctor in town and she's interning and he's like, oh,
everyone's talking about how fucking good she is.
What's so good about her?
It's like, I don't know, she's just good.
And so he comes in and he's like, and she's like, listen, you're going to have to believe
me, but this is some Freddie shit.
Let's be real.
I'm going to be honest with you.
This is really happening.
Freddie Krueger is a thing.
He's going to try to kill these kids.
Because she went through it in one.
Yeah.
Because she was in one.
She went through it in one.
And so she says, she goes, but this Nancy girl, the blonde girl, so the blonde girl in that
scene where she was getting attacked by Dick Monster, she thought out Nancy help.
And Nancy was on her chair.
She goes, what?
And then falls asleep through her chair into her dream.
So that girl has the ability to, the gymnastics girl, the Trinity of the situation has the
ability to bring people into the dream.
So they all go into a group hypnosis to try to, you know, defeat them together.
It doesn't work.
He separates them immediately.
The mute boy gets seduced by a blonde chick and gets his tongue, her tongue ripped out.
And then like he gets wrapped around little Dick Monsters around his arms and wrists and
legs.
And he gets chained up over hell above bed.
So he's just there.
He kicks it there.
But the other ones, they discover their powers.
And so it's like black dude, I've got the power of strength.
And he like, he's bending steel, right?
And it's like, and then the guy who was in a wheelchair, he's like, I can walk.
And he like stands up.
He's like, plus I'm a fucking wizard.
He's like moving shit with his brain.
I'm like, cool.
And then it cuts to the blonde, the chick who brought everyone into her dream.
She's like, I can do gymnastics.
And she does like some flips and shit.
Like, okay, cool.
And then it cuts to the drug addict and she's like, boom, and it's just punk hair.
And she has two switch blades.
And she's like, I'm a bad ass.
Literally her power was to be Austin's next door neighbor.
Edward pocket knife hands.
Yeah.
She turns up, say it.
Say what you are.
Oh, that's great.
You're a punk.
I'm steel.
I'm 1997 steel.
Yeah, the boy, the black dude, the black dude just, he just bruns it.
So that's all their powers.
The mute boy is the one that's over the bed and he can't yell for help.
So then it cuts to them all.
Form of a guy not in a wheelchair.
So cuts to guy not in a wheelchair who is in a hallway on his own now.
And Freddie, just to be a dick dude, like, like it wasn't enough to be an actual dick
monster.
He has to come now and just fuck with people.
That's the worst part about Freddie is that he doesn't just kill motherfuckers.
He's like Pennywise where he needs to torture him first.
He's got that.
He's got to build up their fear to get his power.
Yeah, his power comes from fear.
Yeah.
I, I, okay.
I get it.
That's the story.
He didn't write it.
Yeah, it's not directly.
It's not like, you know, Teen Titans when Robin like is getting chased by Slade and
nobody believes him.
Yeah.
And then he turns the light on and Slade disappears.
Is that Teen Titans Go?
No, fuck that show.
That's regular.
It's original.
You don't like Teen Titans Go.
Original Teen Titans only.
Not, not, not that other shit.
Well, I like Teen Titans Go.
It's a fun, nonviolent alternative to the Teen Titans.
Anything after the guy who created Ed Ed and Eddie got shot in the head in Canada by
a cop.
It's, it's over.
What does that have to do with Teen Titans Go?
What does any of that have to do with Freddie?
I'm just going on a tangent.
Yeah, but you affected me.
I'm sorry.
My brain's just all.
You lost me somewhere in this whole.
I'm still, you lost me a long time ago when you chose Singularity.
Yeah, that was weeks ago, Mike.
So we, so he, Freddie gets to the end of the hallway and he's, he, in his mind, he creates
this torturous looking wheelchair at the end with a bunch of spikes and shit on it.
And like, and he goes like, you look tired, need a rest bitch.
And he sends the wheelchair down the hallway and he cuts the boy's leg and he falls on
the floor and he's like, I'm going to get you now.
And the boy's like, you forgot.
And he turns into the fucking lamest looking wizard of all goddamn time.
He it's, he's in an oversized Dracula outfit.
It's hard to even describe how fucking shitty this is, Brendan.
I'm going to have to show you, but like it is fucking awful.
Okay.
So we're picturing like, like pictured 1987 wizard.
Yeah, it's the long dress with the pointy hat, the orb in the hand, you know, the whole
thing.
I was picturing the sword in the stone.
Is it right after this?
I think it's right after this or right before that.
Yeah.
See, he's like, I'm strong.
Fucking up our chairs.
Yeah.
Oh, best titties in a while.
Those are some 9.5 titties.
Brendan don't say anything.
Your wife listens.
He didn't even look.
Closed his eyes.
What a gentleman.
So okay.
Jesus.
Okay.
Uh, that none, by the way, is Freddie's mom.
Freddie's mom.
Oh, you learn that later.
Okay.
So we also find out that, oh, that's the dad's that same actor.
Same actor, by the way.
Yes, that's the same.
Okay.
Cool.
Then that's the same guy.
All right.
So, uh, they go into the dream again.
It's the second dream where the everything goes down.
They decide to fuck around and find out.
The whole thing is they have to bury Freddie's body in a, in a, uh, consecrated ground.
So he gets some holy water to go bury him right.
In the same spot he was.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
There's a, there's her superpower.
Nice.
Yeah.
She watched.
This is the, uh, oh, wait, that was Nancy.
No, this isn't Nancy.
This is the, this is Taryn, who her superpower is bad.
She gets a, she gets a mohawk and a, it's some makeup.
David Bowie costume.
And two switch blades, uh, Taryn and Freddie.
Uh, see, she's watching, uh, pulls out her switch blades.
Boom.
That's her superpower.
Nice.
Fucking switch blades.
Well, she had glitter.
It's not even longer than the width of her hand.
She's got glitter on her chest.
That's magic.
She does.
She's got glitter on her eyes.
Yeah.
She looks like she's auditioning to be a.
She looks like an explosion happened behind her.
A gem and a hologram.
It does.
Her hair.
I like, I like how Freddie gets her.
Yeah.
And then so Freddie objects her with a bunch of, uh, heroin, needle hands.
He's like, but look at her, look at her, uh, her scat, her boots.
That's the worst part.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme the heroin.
That's the worst.
Yeah.
The worst looking part.
So, okay.
Was she a drug addict?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
She was drug.
That's why no one believed her.
So now here's the guy that was in a wheelchair and Freddie's fucking with him.
Uh, I'm going to skip ahead, but I want you to see how this wheelchair that he designs
to come after him.
So stupid.
He's like, Hey buddy.
And so he sends this wheelchair down.
It's awesome.
Getting chased by a wheelchair.
Oh no.
But then don't worry, Brandon.
He lost his glasses though.
Don't you fucking worry.
You forgot he's a motherfucking wizard.
Yes.
And I'm the wizard master.
One, two, three, lamest costume of all time.
Nice.
Hell, do kill him.
Nice.
He's got a cloak.
Although I do like the animation of it when he uses his emperor Palpatine powers.
Yeah, that was great.
But wow, is that a misfire.
That was great.
If that's the misfire of all misfires, but yeah, he looks super bad.
So, uh, they all fight Freddie in their own way.
No one dies at this point except for outside of, in the real world.
So they all make it.
I know that they save the black guy makes it.
Nancy makes it.
The blonde chick makes it.
Wizard boy might die actually.
Just through this dream sequence or through the whole movie?
Yeah.
So Taron dies.
Wizard boy dies right now.
He gets, uh, yeah, he gets killed.
And then, uh, yeah.
And then they get this door.
Right.
Cause the black guy's like, come on you fucking pussy bitch.
Let's go.
Uh, so, uh, Freddie gives them a door and then that's where they go to Freddie's room.
And then this whole time the dad reluctant as fuck is helping quote unquote, the, uh,
psychiatrist guy go bury Freddie's body in consecrate ground.
Because the dad was one of the kids, the lore to this is that the dad was one of the kids
in the original friend.
So he's their parent.
So prequel to one basically.
His dad was one of the kids who was originally molested by Freddie.
His dad killed his dad, the, his dad and all the other parents were the ones that their
kids were getting murdered and shit.
He killed Freddie.
He wasn't a kid.
They're from the originals from the, that's the whole thing with the friend story.
But he wasn't a child when Freddie was fucking with people.
He was an adult and Freddie was killing kids and him and the rest of the town got together
and killed Freddie.
So he was a young adult, but he was still an adult.
It doesn't make sense.
I thought that too.
And then I was trying to put it together, but that doesn't make sense.
He says I killed you once before.
He literally says that to Freddie.
I'm telling you that makes no sense with the timing.
Look at how old the nun is.
Look, they should, he should be the same age as the nun.
If that's the case.
Well, he would have been like 10 years old.
It's impossible.
How old was Freddie though, when he died?
That I don't, well, he says it should be the same age he is now.
So an adult.
Well, that's what I'm saying, but if Freddie was 45, 50 something and his mom was from
the early, from like the late 1800s, like early 19, I'm just saying like theoretically
it could be possible that when this guy who's because Freddie is now ageless as a demoral
being.
So if he got, let's say he was 50, let's say he was 50 when he, when he died and he got,
when he was doing all this shit, he got caught, finally killed him.
And let's say this guy was like 20 something, 25 when, and now he's 45.
So it's been 20 years and the nun would be 75.
So well, but the nun's dead.
The nun's a ghost.
We see her grave at the very end.
She doesn't exist.
That's another ghostly apparition.
You can't really base anything off of, but he does say that I killed you before.
So I do think him and the other town people got together, killed the actual Freddie Krueger
and then I was thinking he killed him in one, but I can't remember for sure.
And one, I thought he was in one.
No, I think he dies in every movie.
You know what I'm saying?
So I don't think he was talking about when Freddie was alive.
I think he's talking about, he was part of the first group from the first movie.
But this is where his actual body's buried, which makes like, this is where he, they actually
killed him.
When they go to the junkyard.
I get that.
Cause that's when she goes to him.
She's like, dad, like we got to talk about this.
Where did you guys bury his body?
Because she was there for the first movie.
She was one of the kids.
Yeah.
I don't know what the aftermath of it was, but like, I think this is where they actually
put his real body.
So I do think they actually killed him.
Cause I'm pretty sure it took very little time for him to be burned to then start trying
to kill the Elm Street kids.
So it might've been like, well, is this the first one where you get like the backstory
of how Freddie became Freddie type thing?
You kind of get it in one, but not in the other.
This one gives you a lot more of the facts.
Okay.
Is there any sympathy for Freddie?
No, no, no.
He murdered a hundred mania.
Oh, well, yeah.
So we do find out the origin story of, of him is, uh, and I do, it's the way they tell
it is pretty cool where she's just like, yeah, so there was a nun, uh, and, uh, no, no,
well, there's this, Freddie Krueger's mom was sent to, was left over, uh, over the weekend
at a insane asylum and the convicts got her and raped her hundreds of times over the course
of the, and when they found her, uh, like she was just a broken mess.
And then, so Freddie is the bastard child of a hundred rings of a hundred plus rates.
We don't know.
They literally called the bastard child of a hundred mania.
Yeah.
I don't know who you don't know who it is.
And so he was born in a very, uh, rough position, but that doesn't excuse killing kids.
Well, I know in the remake, like I think I thought in the remake, they make it kind of
a similar story, but it's like Freddie wasn't actually killing the kids.
Like the parents just assumed he was the one killing the kids in the remake and it was
a false, just an innocent guy, just an innocent guy that lived in a boiler room.
The townspeople got together and killed him.
That's why he was Frankenstein.
That's why he came back to kill kids in their dreams.
I really, uh, I really did a lot with my life, bitch.
This is kind of a direct take on Frankenstein.
Really?
Yeah.
In a way.
Wait, I thought Frankenstein was a good guy.
Wait, hold on.
Frankenstein, the village people thought he did it, but he didn't.
I'm saying they moved that part.
Oh, you're talking about the remake.
Yeah.
The remake thing is like a take on Frankenstein.
Not this.
Dream warriors like Frankenstein.
No, no, no, no.
The remake.
I was really struggling to make the connection.
Like I wasn't going to just, at this point, I literally took the nose like, don't argue
just for argument's sake.
Hear him out.
And then I'm glad I did because the remake.
Yeah, I could see that.
But I could.
That is a fucked up way to die.
Could you imagine Freddy?
Just the Freddy in that remake.
Defamed, buried, but no grave.
The night before he gets caught.
He's like, oh man, I love my job, bitch.
I grew up my mother.
She did the best she could.
I'm a groundskeeper, mom.
And he's like looking at pictures, like I'm a groundskeeper and I'm doing the kids proud
and I make sure that they come home.
They come to school to a clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean,
clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean, clean,
I take there's no.
There's no knives in the plate, there's no knives in the sand, bitch.
There's no, there's no drugs on the, on the property, bitch.
I take care of these children.
I love them as if they're my own mom.
and I know that you had it rough being raped by all those maniacs, but I love you.
And then someone came up and said, I bet that guy diddles the kids.
Let's fucking kill him.
What outrageous favorite.
She's like, nah, that guy's a pervert.
And they all just burn him alive.
And he's like, why?
Why?
Tell the children it's not their fault, bitch.
Tell them I was a good man, bitch.
And then he burns.
They're like, you're the bitch, and they burn him.
I don't know.
That's great.
I love sympathetic Freddy, but only remake Freddy.
So, gee, Freddy's a monster.
So, okay.
And then, yeah, we get the, oh, yeah, so get Jason and the Argonauts, skeletons, poor fucking trick.
Great reference, by the way.
I'm surprised you've seen Jason and the Argonauts.
Oh, dude, Clash of the Titans was like my jam.
I only because you're younger.
You're significantly younger than us.
So I figured.
Well, I watched all my parents' movies.
We had like a whole wall of DVDs, like a movie store.
That was her power, front flips.
Oh, and then black, like the black dude is great because he, I think he seems clearance.
But, yeah, flippity flips.
Yeah, that's her whole power.
He grabs, look at that, super strong, which is great.
I don't think you need to be super strong to pick up a 90-pound woman, but all right.
No, yeah.
But to do that, yeah.
That was Patricia Arquette.
Her tits weigh 80 pounds.
Does that, the Patricia Arquette, the same one from?
Yeah, you cannot kill David Arquette.
You cannot kill David Arquette.
But you can kill Patricia Arquette.
Apparently not.
Well, you can't because she knows flips.
So now we have a Patricia.
We've covered the Arquettes on the show.
No, there's more.
Give it up for the Arquettes, everybody.
There's a lot more.
There's a lot more Arquettes.
We'll try to get through the rest of them.
There's another one in The Wedding Singer.
The Arquette dynasty.
We'll get through all of the Arquettes.
So, oh, I think he does die.
Is he about to die right now?
I forgot.
I would say yeah.
I would say yeah, he's about to die.
It looks like he's about to die.
The souls of children give me strength.
Oh, then he does this.
And that's the best shot of the whole fucking movie.
That's basically what the drawing kind of looks like.
It's those faces.
Yeah, so he's just drawing his chest.
That one at the bottom looks so sad, the kid in his chest.
He's like, I'm the closest one to his dick.
It smells.
I want to see it again.
It smells like a burnt hot dog.
I want to look at that one specifically on the bottom there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
I really like how much fun Robert Englund has with this part.
He really does, and you can tell it.
He deserves to retire, though.
Yeah, she looks like she has seen some of the shit.
This guy knows what's up.
He just keeps his eyes closed.
But she keeps one eye open and just watches.
Oh, gross.
And then, wait, where's the Jason?
There we go.
So they're trying to, they put the body in a trunk of a car
in a scrap yard, which is fine, whatever.
Except for those all get scrapped eventually.
That's fine.
That seems kind of dumb.
How long has the body been there?
And so, yeah, that's whatever.
It does some damage.
Okay, yep, there it is.
Bury the fucking thing.
All right, here's the skeleton.
It's, that's some graphics.
That's some 87 graphics right there.
Bitch.
A bony bitch.
We were laughing about this and saying, my wife's like,
well, you know, you got to remember the time.
And I'm like, yeah, when Star Wars came out.
There's no excuse for this.
Eight years before this.
Star Wars also came out the same year that they did the last
beheading in France.
They just stopped beheading people.
I'm just saying that the graphics could have been better.
Did we learn that when we did our Stranger in Paradise?
I know shit.
There's a lot rattling around up here.
I think I told you that back.
You just keep stealing my facts today all that long.
Vsauce, that's where I got it from.
I will say this about this movie.
The audio mixing was horrendous.
Yeah, it was real bad.
I mean, it was bad.
There'd be these long dialogue scenes that you couldn't hear
anywhere.
They didn't have John Carpenter to write the movie, direct it,
and do the music.
I had that issue, too.
The dialogue was so low.
I thought maybe it was just because it was so old.
The one I watched was only 94.
So it wasn't that new.
But it was, yeah.
It was a little bit loud.
And then it gets loud.
And then my wife pops out, she's like, that's kind of loud.
You're going to wake the kids.
That was my problem.
And in this movie particularly, because this movie really, by the
way, for anyone out there, this movie needs a trigger warning.
This movie not only deals with suicide and depression, but it
also shows it.
So be aware of that.
Because we were watching the volume thing was because the
kids were in the bedroom.
And well, my granddaughter's friend who's with her happened
just had an issue like that.
And I was terrified when I saw the opening of this movie that
they were going to come out because there was so much
suicidal ideation.
Yeah, that's something you don't want to put in your kids'
head when they're already dealing with depression.
Especially not one that's already got problems.
Just ignore the suicide, depression part, kids.
Just focus on the child molester that got burnt in a fire.
Just focus on that.
They're only depressed and suicidal because the child
molester is trying to get them.
Listen, there's one thing I care about.
It's the cleanliness of the playground.
I've never touched a child in my life.
Bob, you know this.
I love you so much.
You became a nun.
I follow Christ this day.
I'm a big believer.
I'm going to say my nightly prayers, bitch.
That's the remake that they could have done.
It's just a whole story of him just being a good
groundskeeper and then him getting murdered in the end.
And then that would be legit grounds for revenge.
Like X-Men Origins, Freddie.
But you don't go after the kids.
You go after the actual parents.
That would be a fun remake because every time we've seen
the Freddie, it's always like go after the teenagers
because you want to see hot young kids fool around and
getting fucked up, right?
Because that's just the slasher job.
Could have ordered that better, but yeah.
What did I say?
Hot young teens.
Hot young kids fucking around.
You want to see it?
Hot young people, maybe.
I meant teens, whatever.
We've been talking about this, him and his kids the whole time.
No, no, no.
But imagine if it was the remake idea that we're thinking of.
Just innocent Freddie Krueger.
He's an outcast.
He loves Jesus.
We have a backlog of movies we need to write.
We're going to be the new A24.
We're going to be the A420.
A420.
It's going to be all bad movies remade.
Back in Me Too, Battlefield Earth 2.
Battle Earth 2.
Freddie the beginning.
Freddie the bitchening.
It's an origin story, bitch.
OK, here's a question.
My brain won't process.
I can't process the junkyard scene that we're just talking about.
Where they go and they fight Freddie in the junkyard.
They're awake.
I can't process what's going on.
Well, it's the beginning of the new nightmare.
It's the first bleed through into our reality.
That's what it is.
I think maybe his physical body.
So you just explained it for yourself, but that didn't help.
I think the fact that it's his actual physical body makes it a different thing than in Dreams.
You're fighting his real Freddie.
His remains.
No, actually, I think we're really, we are watching a movie that exists in the Freddie universe.
So when you watch Tarantino, I've said this before, but when you watch Tarantino,
if you watch a movie like, I think it's...
Reservoir Dogs.
Reservoir Dogs is a movie, right?
So Reservoir Dogs is a movie that the people in Pulp Fiction watch at the movie theater.
So John Travolta's character might have seen Reservoir Dogs.
He might have also seen Django Unchained.
But Once Upon a Time in Hollywood are the actors who would be playing in some of those movies.
And Glorious Basterds is a historical thing that happened.
And Hateful Eight, I also think is a...
I don't know if it's a movie or if it's historical.
In this realm then, in the Freddie realm, since now we have New Nightmares canon,
in New Nightmare, this actress and Wes Craven and Robert Englund all are aware of the movies.
So Nightmare 3, Dream Warriors, is a movie that takes place in the Freddie universe.
So it really doesn't have to make any sense.
It's just a silly horror movie that they did for this Heather chick to play in.
But the real Freddie storyline is he can bleed into our world, which is proven by New Nightmare.
So that's just...
Kind of a taste of what's to come.
It's a taste of what could come.
So it's established lore by the point we get to the New Nightmare.
Or they did what they do a lot of times and they blink, fall asleep.
They're sleepwalking.
If they really did it in Inception style, just think about the Inception world,
like is it a dream, is it not a dream, is it a dream, is it not a dream?
What we really could be is all of this one extended nightmare from the blonde chick,
Patricia Arquette, falling asleep at her desk.
And she keeps...
She even has a repeat of seeing her mom come into the room again as she cuts off her head.
Freddie does.
Freddie cuts off her head.
It's a yes at her with the head.
But could you imagine if it could be one of those things where...
And I know I rarely bring this up, but there's an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy wakes up in an insane asylum and everyone around her,
the nurses and the doctors and stuff, are the principal actors and characters in her show.
And they're all like, hey, you're not a vampire slayer.
Like, I know that you think you are.
And it's like we're trying to help you, but you're just a regular girl that thinks you fight vampires and shit.
Was that like the last episode?
No, no, no.
Because that would be hilarious if it was.
That was like the whole show.
But it would be, but like this was a hard episode.
Like it was rough because she eventually like...
It was a demon, I think, the whole time causing it.
But it's something to that effect where like what about if this chick's just falling asleep
and these are just some people that she knows in real life, like Nancy.
Maybe she knows from...
She's only a few years older.
So like maybe she was a soft freshman when she was a senior, stuff like that.
But yeah, so I think that explains it all.
Because honestly, that scene, I was like the whole time I'm watching, I'm going, why do they see Freddy there?
They're awake.
Yeah, because it's just a silly horror movie in the grand scheme of the real horror franchise of Freddy,
which will bleed into a couple of days from now when you watch our Freddy versus Jason critique.
Which I've not seen.
Which, so I'm not going to give anything away, but just think of New Nightmare as the,
I would say the start of the actual continuity of Freddy, where he's able to bleed in and out
and he knows that he's self-referential, that he's been in movies, I think is the way to go.
I think Freddy versus Jason is one of my favorites for this genre.
See, I've never seen it.
It's funny, it's great, like it's good violence and good kills.
Now Jason...
Have you seen three or haven't seen?
I've seen it before.
I mean, I've seen it before.
It's been a while.
It's definitely worth it.
If we're going to rate it, which I guess we should, because that's what we do.
So let's just put some ratings on these.
I actually really like Dream Warriors.
Thinking of it in the context of it being a movie within the Freddy sphere, the Nightmare sphere,
I like it a lot.
So I'm going to give it on our scale of B through W, I give it like a strong C plus as far as horror movies goes.
It's like a fun, super fun, super great.
That would be great for a regular episode, but that's not how we do things.
We do it on a scale of out of five.
And so I'm going to give this a 3.9 inches of Penis Monster out of five inches of Penis Monster.
The five minutes I spent watching the entire movie,
I thought it was a wonderful blend of cinematography,
combining a bunch of different elements, practical effects, animation, even claymation.
Yeah, the claymation was fantastic.
The story of it is great.
Introducing a new idea of people actually fighting him in their dreams instead of just running away.
I'm going to give it a four bitches.
Four bitch.
We're very similar in our thoughts on it.
I thought, you know, very good movie in the in the Freddy, which I've only seen like three or four of them.
The first one, I think you're going to watch New Nightmare.
I may watch or going into a couple weeks.
I got a couple of weeks. So probably before I watched the other one, I might recommend we all do that.
I think it's going to bleed. It might bleed in.
There might be some I can't remember if there's actual references to it.
But I like the skin. I think there is.
I think I think there is a reference to very subtle.
I think it's very subtle on the other hand, which we'll get into just a sec.
But OK, continue with your score.
Well, basically three and a half Bert fedoras.
Bert fedoras. OK. Yeah.
So Bert, it was brown the whole time, not that green fedora.
Mike is like non green fedora guy adamantly in that camp.
You fans out there, Mike is with you.
So and then you did great.
Yeah, I mean, I I really enjoyed New Nightmare.
I've seen it before. I wanted to rewatch it again because I like how meta meta it is.
And I like the you know, all the different references.
Silly. It's definitely a lot cheesier now that I'm older watching it versus watching it when I was in high school.
But I give it the strong I'd say a four out of five baby shit green hats.
Oh, shit. So he's team green hat team Bert fedora.
Oh, shit. We have no we're Austin.
We're like we stay out of the hat game. We don't have any hats in this race.
It's actually pea soup green. But it looks like baby diarrhea green.
Join us tomorrow for our Friday the 13th Halloween episode.
And the reason I bring that up, I normally don't specifically call out what's going to be happening.
This is a very planned thing that we plan.
And then if you follow us the day after we are covering in a full Fried Rice episode podcast, Fried Rice podcast episode.
What did I say? We're going to be doing both.
Are there two or is there just one? Freddie versus Jason?
This one we're going to be doing Freddie versus Jason.
So catch us for the catch us for that.
And then if you like that combination, just wait until next week.
All right, everybody. You have a great rest of your day.
And oh, wait, no, let's all enter. Just the doorbell got me.
It's either the cops are guests or a package.
Is it the cops? OK, we're good.
And then we're just going to finish this episode real quick.
So with me as always is we have Michael.
He's an old bitch.
Larsen have a good week.
We have Austin bitch Farrell.
I was I was an innocent man. I was framed.
And we have Brendan. One, two.
Brendan's coming for you.
Three, four is going to smoke some more.
Five, six, smoking sticks.
Seven, eight. Smoking's great.
Little bitch. You bitch shipply.
Bitch. Please wake up.
Jesus. And I'm your host, Andy Rice, bitch.
And this has been something.
All right. Fried. We've been fried.
We've been podcast. We've been rice and we've been huddled.
We've been.