BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP BOOP
and other video game noises motherfuckers
it's Fried Rice Podcast!
I'm your host Andy Rice
Let's get fried
with me as always
is Zachary 8-Bit Qualley
BEEP BOOP BOP
with me as always is Michael
he's like the Atari system
he's old as fuck
and you just can't kill it, Larson
Hey everybody
We have a very special tree with us tonight
it's the- oh actually well then
well no I have to do this because uh
this is gonna sound fucked up
because it was gonna be the other guy now
but special tree with us
it's a badass
he's the the uh
I want to call you the five foot assassin
how tall are you?
Five six unfortunately
Okay it would have been cooler
if you were five foot tall
you're not uh
everyone looks five foot to me
when you're when I'm six something
so the five six assassin
it's Baha'i
the samurai smoking cloud
Thank you thank you
I appreciate you for having me on today
thank you
and with us as always
is we have Joshua J. Hollow
the sweet and simple
the hollow man
he eats cereal without milk
Hollow
All right yeah
what's every what's up everybody
welcome to another episode
um Brennan as you might have noticed
I didn't call his name
and he's the one that picked this
fucking movie
what a little bitch doesn't even show up
I can't actually say that
he's my boss in real life so
I can say it though what a little bitch
there we go
I think you did great Brennan uh
fucking hierarchy man
so here we go let's uh
we're gonna we'll start off with our
very famous segment of what are we smoking
so right now
Baha'i is clear in a bowl of
I'd say potpourri of what I have
just kind of a mishmash
pretty good quality I should say to myself
it's it's it's not bad
it's just a little bit of whatever's
lying around
and then what uh we got a
Josh why don't you tell us about that
about that nifty pipey right
oh yeah yeah
all right so I got this uh pipe
I'm gonna say it's about
five inches you know
that's what she said
yeah
but anywho you know I made this with uh
my grandpa very nice pipe
very nice
made out of nice wood
honestly kind of offhand
would smoke out of it at any fucking time
now is your is your grandfather still
with us
uh yes he is
oh great so shout out to him what's his
what's his name is he great grandpa hollow
his name is mo
mo hollow mo hollow
hey hello
that's dope uh very cool
and uh do you smoke out of that pipe often
yeah yeah I do I
I often smoke out of this pipe
or I take some dabs out of like a nice
ass fabric you know what I mean
oh yeah
for me I like smoking out of the pipe
because like originally I used to smoke
out of the can you know when I was very
very very young very broke as well
and I used to smoke out of the can
boom
and I fucking had to grab myself like
sometimes
oh yeah we've all been in the smoking
the can I was like
high school maybe but you look a lot
younger than me how are you
we get how old are you
I'm 20 I'm gonna be 21 in December
what the fuck no bro
weed's been legal
you're not even old enough to legally
smoke it weed's been legal
it's gonna be your entire adult life
and and so there's no reason to ever
smoke out of a can
I'm in my late 30s when weed was illegal
for all of my uh teens and most of my
adult life so me smoking off a can was
just because I couldn't find a pipe
and I had to smoke
I mean shit you know it was one little
moment but at the same time I get away
with it I've been sat down I've been
smoking for a long time you know
child Kush on 66 by the way
oh yeah actually super shout out to
push 60 push on 66 something we'll
discuss later tonight but there's a very
real possibility that soon we're going
to be recording a podcast there
oh which would be fucking sick
oh awesome
very cool
okay you know it's a very good
environment I used to work there for a
little bit but like inside the restaurant
part because they had a restaurant
yeah how was that restaurant
no it was it was bomb
it was a bomb what kind of food can you
get there that like what
stoners paradise like seriously
I mean honestly if you're if you're
familiar people at home
push on 66 at needles california is a
smoke lounge where you can go inside
they you they give you a clean fucking
bomb that looks like it's never been
smoked out of it it's life
they give you all the contraption to do
dabs with the head they have that the
they have that fun one that the the lou
whatever it is that fills up the cup
that you can like drink the smoke out
of it's super fun and there's a
restaurant literally attached to it
I went once when they were kind of new
and it's like these taco dudes showed up
these like two taco guys they literally
I'm not even kidding this is my first
time there we're smoking everything's
great I'm having a good time already
and then these two taco dudes they're
setting up shop they're cooking tacos
they walk in they're like hey everyone
free tacos for everybody just come on
out and we're like what and we walk out
and it's just free tacos just they gave
us unlimited free tacos for the night I
was like I don't know if you can
expect that every night
you can't expect that but you can
expect it for special occasions for
example on 420 and they actually brought
out a couple of wraps down here for
example they brought out exhibits you
know they brought out a couple other
tap tacos but they have like a lot of
vendors there as well from different
weed companies you know shout out
Kush cookies shout out napalm as well
napalm is a kush brand made by exhibit
and basically like they you know
veterans and stuff with like ptsd
sometimes they have problems with that
you know and instead of putting them on
like something like redlens they would
rather have a doctor prescribing put
them on weed so they're putting
the movement for veterans as well you
know very nice people jeter's been there
before shout out jeter you know they
gave me a hat give me a pen and they
gave a buddy i love jeter so much and
they also gave me a certificate from
jeter university oh shit you're a
graduate from jeter university
basically you have a doctorate in
fucking smokeology essentially essentially
you know minor in minor in uh in keith
101 seriously in keith 101 you know
every day i've been sitting down
learning about seriously you know but
it was a very good time very humble
people there by the way very humble
people very nice people you know
everybody there i love them to death you
know they know me very well and i know
them very well so i hope everybody's
going you know they're doing well i got
to ask where's your accent from oh um
well a lot of people ask me about like
race and stuff i say that i'm a bag of
trail mix i'm a mix of everything
honestly you know my dad's a black and
dominican and my mom's um she's
pennsylvania dutch german and native
america does pennsylvania count as a
race i feel like that's just america
like just white american oh well sure
because i i used to describe my dad well
he's iowan he's from iowa or like he has
iowa blood and there's some west
virginia but that's just different
white trash that i'm throwing into the
same the same pot of corn in there but
yeah just seriously and he just does it
to sound fancier yeah just from iowa
the corn capital of whatever uh is that
made of corn well just you got like you
got like a new york almost like you you
look and sound like a new york rapper
like if you had told me right now like
if i didn't know that j hollow was just
a big time east coast rapper that i just
had on my couch right now that's why
you're so dealt you're so diplomatic
you're like shout out to jeeter hope you
guys are doing well shout out to my boys
on kush 66 so if you guys are doing
well you're diplomat i love it
love it album drops 420 what's that album
drops 420
j hollow uh perfect um so you brought the
pipe uh what did you bring over here
behind um just uh the weed i that i
brought from uh i know i'll say if if
we're comparing to weeds but i got from
martin's mary janes right here at the
at needles california um but they have
the best prices definitely you know
death um best prices in town so shout
to them
yeah shit heard they have the best
prices in the area
you're like a fucking diddy
over again
anyways but yeah just brought brought
the weed nothing too special though
yeah okay so we got marvin mary jay's
with the best price
i have seen the whole 99 off thing for
kush 66 is that um i believe that's for
like uh first time buyers you know just
to like get them in about the same time
we do have very good deals there as well
you know for the wax and the quality
tonight see now i've been going to story
because it's close that's just been the
you know it's just right down the street
and yeah get there before work or
whatever right yeah i feel you
and you know what honestly they run some
good deals sometimes
like two for one on the super fogs has
been pretty good
that have you had to infuse the super
fogs yet the little two grammer
fucking disposables they're pretty
great would you like to try it
okay uh and i brought potpourri kind of
weed mike
what did you bring just a pre-roll from
story it's it's also it's like a 26
percent
zach what did you bring them i don't i
don't bring stuff
you don't smoke i don't smoke yeah
like i like how your uh lighter though
is probably the most
like weed it's like it's just uh it
looks like scooby-doo's and shaggy's ham
like sandwiches yeah i would eat the
fuck out of that sandwich
i've always wanted to go to the heart
attack grill but then i'm afraid that
they would let me eat free
and i would look like a real jackass
you just want to go for the spankings
i actually would hate the spanking you
know like uh what do you guys think
you're all good i agree now they're full
like they're full price they're like 50
bucks but they're two for one on
fridays that story that's four grams for
out the door 60 bucks it's not bad and it
tastes good
the most insane uh black spin-off team you've ever heard of koi
boy no all right so koi is a five gram
disposable oh shit i'm not lying five
grams i didn't think you were you gotta
trustworthy fix yes sir i am i'm a man
of my word i tell you've got that east
coast rapper but i you told me right now
you cross the line i'm probably gonna
kill you i would i would i would believe
it i don't think and i don't even think
you would do it i think mahi would just
end up behind me and my neck would be
snapped and you're and he's just like i
got you dog just walk away
that's funny but yeah koi i got it from
uh tri-state tri-state smoke shop you
know uh buddy of my own he sells he
sells some stuff you know he sells um
sells nicotine so he he sells
mushroom gummies and surprisingly
mushroom syrup as well i've tried that
before like serp you'd put on pancakes
or something like that or
get your little game off
well no yeah shout to try state smoke
shop and that's um that's a shop that i
i sponsor and i'm gonna you know that i
have the design now when i go
fight so you can shout to the owner
johnny zanetti
oh yeah i love your cousin hey by the
way uh let's uh
johnny let's promote your fight real
quick tell them uh tell them the date
that's coming up and where
oh yeah at the virgin theaters um in
las vegas
nevada and in the uh yeah at the virgin's
hotel and the theater at the theater
that's what they call it um october 11th
and they also stream it on tv on the uc
bypass if y'all can't make it but
overall yes october 11th and meme and
another teammate are going to be
fighting there too on the same fight
card
but yeah overall yeah one or one in
november oh yeah also that one is uh
november 16th at the ove in lawful
nevada
but yes so as soon as i get the swim i
get the opportunity to take uh to have a
championship belt title now
oh fuck yeah yeah are you uh are you
still amateur or pro?
i'm do i'm still an amateur at the
moment so after after i get this belt i
want to consider doing a
a professional fight oh yeah oh yeah now
yeah because direct me on that yeah
well as soon as you go
one pro fight you can't go back to
amateur fighting right? yeah that's
correct because um
i even asked there's another native from
minnesota or
on montana excuse me from montana um
ruben roundstone shout out to him he's uh
he's another native that also
represents us very well in the native
community but
he actually um he doesn't only mainly
bare uh bare knuckle fighting actually
so uh and i'm actually interested in him
so i texted him one day
you're interested in bare knuckle? yeah so
that's where i'm like
and i'm like can i and i asked him do
they actually do amateurs i'm like yeah
they actually do amateurs on bare
knuckle fighting so
um i even tried to contact even the owner
of bare knuckle fighting one day of um
uh field men uh field men and then we
chatted for a bit then next thing you
know he was like um but
i was so focused on my fighting career
then i didn't have time time to do it
until now i i just
wanted to go ahead and give it a shot
what's the appeal of bare knuckle
fighting you just don't like your pretty
face uh then you want to get it destroyed
there's a science behind it
it just was just say as in with us native
people was to say that fucking when i
when i go out and uh and fight drunk i i
could take a hit
oh so you'd like to be drunk during
bare knuckle? no just fuck with you i do
i just don't just to get relaxed and
just fucking
uh just you know you can't beat me but
anyways um
but it's just something like you know
nobody could say that they have done it
before
so as in like especially you know in the
cage but
but another next level is uh you know
nobody can say that they have you know
fought bare knuckle like you know like
in a
in a sanctuary fight
there's a science behind it where like
the ufc gloves
people will hit harder with them versus
the bare knuckle because of their
actual hand you don't want to break your
hand so yeah so honestly it's so it's
lighter hits
it could potentially but especially like
well here's the thing you got
60 ounce boxing gloves where you're more
accurate where you're
you know able to hit but with these bare
knuckles you have to be accurate
on you know on on how you hit or where
to hit
yeah like room for error is yeah like
minor if you hit wrong you can break a
knuckle finger
you hit a skull hard with your hand
you're breaking your hand so there's
like techniques you know
that i'm going to be prepared on what to do
you know maybe open hand
i gave him a stock inside like nate like
nate diaz
like uh like yeah you're not like in the
ufc they'll hit with their side of their
hand you wouldn't do that
with bare knuckle because you can break
your you can break the thumb you can
break your other fingers so
there's some science behind it to where
um more control yeah more control
that's less
quote unquote violent than like a glove
fight
okay well i will say this i'm glad that
we have this expert fighting
opinions because the movie that we're
watching that we were
that we're reviewing this week expert
fighting
it has a lot of fighting for us to cover
uh i asked mahi over here specifically
to uh
and you didn't have to do all of the
fights but uh i asked him to watch the
fight scene and see if there's anything
he would do differently
and i hope to god there's some things
you would do differently because
i think the moment he busts open up
gumball machine and uh
makes the dude slip on him i'm like
okay i was like when i was seeing him
like i was actually thinking like i want
to test that shit right now if it was
true or i you know i think i thought
missed myth busters at the time one time
did that
but anyways i uh if me and joshua here
you know we watched it last night and
then
yeah everything else was uh it reminded
me of the teenage mutant ninja turtle
spicing like
you know in the uh in the 90s oh dude
so let's let's let's get into it yes uh
this is double dragon 1994
i i titled this movie l.a punk comma
mad max edition l.a punk mad i called it
uh
i called it the warriors but it's gay or
every time you see a new gang
you know it's funnier that's that's what
it's gay the warriors it was it was uh
power ranger turt turtl ninja mutant
turtles
that was one of my notes when i saw the
gangs i was like weird warrior cosplay
yeah yeah uh it's definitely the
warriors but it's gay
yeah it's gay the warriors uh so
it opens with some medallion porn which i
love
i love me a good opening credit
sequence where you get to see what the
movie's all about and this was just that
really really glossy gold medallion 3d
thing they did it for the whole opening
credits it's just
a different seductive curve of the
medallion over here a different crevice
over here
i put on hard right now i don't know if
anyone else got
that was the best part of the movie
it was they blew their whole fucking
budget
on that medallion and you blew your
load uh so
power over oh so the power of the body
and the power of the soul
is how it's described and i was like all
right let's see how that pans out and
i'm just curious to see
what kind of power sets would a soul
medallion can versus a body medallion
interesting shadow man yeah well peter
pan powers is what you get with the
soul one
yeah fucking you just turn into like
some peter pan
fucking you know in the shadow my what
the hell
he turned into a shaft of ray turn turn
into a poltergeist
yeah um somewhere in china i thought was
kind of lol and i also thought it was
like
medieval times but it wasn't it was
happening in like the 90s
it's like you meet all these ancient
villagers they're running away but
it's a regular ass modern day people
attacking those like what the fuck is
going on right now
um but i did think when they them
cutting out their tongues
was pretty hardcore yeah to like
protect a secret
and then i thought wow that guy went
through all of that cutting off his
tongue
taking a lifetime of like uh of secret
vows to make sure that it's never
found
and then runs directly to where it is
and stands by
he like that old man he like ah god i'll
run to i'll run to where the gauntlet
to where the medallion is i won't touch
it instead i'm gonna hang out by this
rock and i'm just gonna look at it
until someone comes in i thought it was
kind of silly
um he was asian golem is what i wrote
uh that's the silliest looking future
gear i've ever seen in a movie
it's her little uh laser tech that she
puts out to fire that missile
look cartoonish looked like like i
built
uh for fun with the with a shoe box
uh t1000 looks awesome with the bleached
hair
see i said reno nine on one cop no i
know i know i know it is but he looks
like the guy with the boots on reno
robert patrick interesting yeah but it's
t1000 from terminator 2
playing the most over the top fucking
villain ever
this guy really hammed it up every time
he was on set was made of beef jerky he
just kept
chewing the scenery so he kept chewing that
fucking scenery he was uh
he probably went through a few dozen
packs too
of smoking like black and mild or
something oh yeah he was that's that he
is always smoking can i get free black
and milds if i do this
yeah i'm going through divorce and it's
up to do right now it's the 90s
this sucks all right let's go uh and
then what kind of tag team underground
full gee fight club is this
all right now this is my first question
we live in a post
big earthquake new angeles half flooded
california situation it's everything is
held up by
jacks it's like new jack city but without
put like an actual new jacked up city
it's like all the smart people died
and then there was like we got these
jacks yeah
let's not rebuild let's just jack uh
who's super loud right is that all of
us yeah that's probably all of us
uh so what kind of fight tournament is
that there wasn't it was tag team it was
full gee
everyone in the audience was wearing
geese you know what especially i was
looking at the at the details especially
like the two main characters as in like
um the geese were like up to like
the you know to the biceps into like the
the muscle area well like i see like in
the background like there are like other
like um full on geese that goes to the
wrist
you know there's just these mixed matched
geese and that but i'm like i guess
these guys are just forest buck where
they just can't afford
you know decent geese but like you know
cutting off like it
it looked very odd so they weren't
fighting with traditional keep or the
other two dudes they were fighting short
sleeve geese as well were we in the
short sleeve g fight is that such a
thing
um i haven't i haven't seen that
especially in my time fighting because
of me doing the karate in
taekwondo in my younger days
i
uh i haven't experienced that everything
else was more like again like long
sleeves you know there was you know
never seen anything like that were they
playing traditional karate rules
and what uh so what i think were what
what the brothers hanging up on to uh
up on to his phone bag sometimes you
know funny sometimes i don't
like you'll be getting disqualified
didn't he yeah for a whole channel
didn't they get disqualified for that
well yeah yeah uh but the thing is i'm
like
uh just just like immediately
uh
overall yeah i've just like i haven't
seen anybody just gonna fall around it
but yeah they're like especially with
the tag team that's what i'll talk about
first have you ever done a tag team
fight
ever is there any real tag team that's
not in like wwe
i've never seen a tag team there's some
underground like
ufc tag team that's
they uh they got like some i don't know
what thing it's across
in europe but they got like five on five
ufc fights
six blocks wide so i'm sure there's a two
on two
on that promotion the only fight that i
really would be interested in doing for
myself is that
full armor but medieval fights that they
do now in those that is very
interesting with the swords and the
broad axes
full on plate armor that would be fun
i think so uh so
we're watching this underground tag team
half
the half whatever whatever that was
uh they're really hammering in the the
earthquake thing they really do a lot
and then oh yeah illegal noogies
he gives them noogies oh yeah that's
what it was like i give him a noogie i'm
like what the fuck
i wrote i hate the plate and they've never
seen anybody do it like well the only
thing close was like the
the recent um fight with marab and shaun
amali
when one part with marab was kissing
shaun amali in the back of the head
that's like what happened in this last
fight it was shaun malli and marab so
yeah that definitely did happen he was
kissing the back of his head
yeah yeah like pulled his ass down and
fucking went one one one one one
fucking god god he was looking like
oh man he was so mad he was so so mad
fucking left over here but
you see it a lot more with the females
they try and get each other's heads with
that shit
oh yeah it's sort of true what they say
as in like you know females holds
grudges
you know more than you know less than
well i hold grudges there's a
i never let grudges go actually i know i'm
not a chick either i'm one of the worst
grudge holders of all time um just keep it
in mind i still have it
there's still things i've met everyone
here for
even you guys didn't shut my door
quickly um
i'm holding on to that forever uh so
anyway i hate the guy in the blue um oh
and then
why are all the kids kids might do
watching this underground fight uh in
full gays
and then destroy the place in a right so
after the fight so my thought would be
like this
if there was a real tournament going on
then even if it even if one fight
delved into a little bit of chaos i
don't think the entire audience of
children who are probably students of or
participating in that school would then
come and
fuck the place up like that was their
first reaction was just like oh they're
shenanigans
let's break everything that we own in
this poor ass city that we're barely
surviving in
and they just break they riot they go
straight into riot mode let's destroy
our home
and i did not enjoy that i thought that
was stupid um
mob mentality fuck like seriously it's
mob mentality if you can't be
fucking rapping yeah your mob mentality
j hollow from fucking new york that's as
a
rap group yeah oh hell yeah mob
mentality
mob mentality with the samurai smoking
cloud over here that'd be pretty dope
uh
uh so oh and then why a little person
for the giant earthquake prank like why
did they make that acting
that that casting decision that was a
little silly it's like
of all the of all the jobs that little
person could have had
you had to have him with the giant
fucking earthquake i bet you they had
scenes where it's just a normal guy
doing it but it looked weird
because he's just like i got this or
whatever but then if you get a little
dupe doing it looks funny
i think that was just uh it's ableist
i'm not a fan of it um although it was
really funny looking
uh jack city commercial was funny
they're selling uh they're selling jacks
i know that i uh
never bring this up but in buffy uh
specifically buffy the rewatcher podcast
that cut that rewatching buffy uh the
vampire slayer
they made the mistake of thinking that
in the episode where buffy
leaves her home and spent some time in
los angeles to get a job and kind of
live on her own
they thought that entire episode took
place in new york
so when they the next episode they're
like oh fuck we fucked up
we now know that it was los angeles we
called it new york the entire fucking
episode
and so from then on they refer to
los angeles as new angeles as just a fun
like new york
angeles thing and so they call this
entire place new angeles and i thought
for me
that was great and for any other buffy
rewatchers
of what oh the movie takes place in 2007
yeah right before the the bubble
birth the real estate bubble burst that
makes sense i remember
2007 hollywood being covered in water
uh i remember lake pasadena
i like the weird newspaper people vanna
white
andy dick is the fucking weather guy
randomly what's up with this this is so
funny
oh that is it huh there's no hollywood
so you just put the actors in like news
situation
just put them on tv yeah i like uh the
dad you see like the dad and uh listen
in what when you see that when you see
that one yeah
let's see that scene that's what
happens like
the cop dad like telling her like oh you
should stay home or whatever
and she's like here's the wig yeah yeah
and that's what i put parents are
typical parents just don't understand
yeah just understand that's in these
movies every single one of these like
game to tv or movies there's always a
parent that just doesn't
except this dad really just doesn't
understand he's literally made a pact
with the gang he's like all right gangs
you could gang at night but in the
daytime we have to be safe
he's like six six six a.m to five p.m
it's my time yeah let's get ready and
then literally puts a curfew for every
other citizen locks that like gets rid
of everyone's
first and second amendment right to
like walk around shit
and and then just to give gangs full
control
interestingly enough the book that
we're reading right now stinger has some
gang warfare stuff in it and it's very
reminiscent of this although way better
i was gonna say you don't want me to stop reading
i like the the beat-em-up thugs get a
cool entrance because this game is based
on a beat-em-up
i played a little bit of uh just to get
in the mood i played some uh double
dragon and battle toads for super
nintendo and i played as uh
the blue one because i wanted him to die
a lot uh billy is it billy lee billy
lee no billy lee
leah lee jimmy but if he goes by bill
is his billy bill lee right or
he could go by either or ugly and homely
which i like better that's what i've been
calling her the whole time
when they like scan their profiles and it
shows billy has
blonde hair blue eyes is like when yeah
also when they scan their pro the
technology in this 2007 movie is insane
so doesn't remind you of like area 51 it
reminds me of um like one of those like
classic like light
gun game oh a little bit what's weird
though is
you scan someone's face and then the
the program uses like green wire frame
graphics or whatever to then like
three-dimensionally make the face instead
of just taking a picture
or showing a picture and then also when
they're driving around
remember when a a bobo in the beginning
with mohawk guy
when he when they expertly throw that
piece of paper over
over his windshield he can't see
anymore he uses the
the video game version in what
world does that work in what fucking
world
does his system have a fully
16-bit video game version of the map of
the city he lives in
built out with real obstacles in the
road keeping gauge of other vehicles
around him
that then he could navigate through
impossible it's a tesla
what's a tesla i was wondering i was
wondering what's with all the like
weird ass ways to make the car go like
it there was there was there a fire
yeah is there a gas shortage and i like
well we don't have a dump anymore so
i'm just going to use my car as a
combustion engine like which
literal combustion engine yeah although
that's probably really bad for the
environment
just burning trash they're worried
about the environment
he's like uh he's like not just he's
like cheese spray
what's that at that point you're just
living in dystopia so
if you gotta wear a gas mask you gotta
wear a gas mask
i like the two dudes arguing over the
air
so like the the air thing the free air
station that's in the
like a payphone but yeah it's just for
air
yeah that would actually be kind of nice
sometimes just getting hit in that
oxygen
everyone oxygen bars were a thing yeah
still are
yeah i would i can you know like you go
Vegas or whatever yeah i i knew a chick
and she uh we went to the mall once and
there was an oxygen bar so he got to
try this and i was like okay
and we sit down and they for what i
remember
there was different flavored oxygen
which is weird but it's like minty or
something
anyway just plug put these two plugs in
your mouth in your nose you just
breathe that's it just getting extra
oxygen
it's not even like a gas mask over your
face and get high up
did uh did you do this i did you wonder
how well they clean those
because they're just a little kiosk oh
bro there's so many things i don't want
to think about
when you're in the movie theater how
often do the movie employees check
underneath your seat for spiders or
spider webs
probably never and where where do you
spot
where do spiders where do spiders like
living
they like living in this was there a
spider in bagel juice that freaked you
out
no i'm just saying you know you say how
often do they check those things i think
about spiders in the movie theater
there's other things as well there's
like how often does the hot dog vendor
on the corner wash his hands after
never there's no bathroom speaking new
york yeah the new york hot dog vendors
where you just know
that water's been there for days years
keeps the flavor gross yeah i yeah um
i had a friend that worked at uh a movie
place and he's like you know what now
that i think about it and it's been like
six years from there he's like i'd never
clean that popcorn machine
he's like not once he's like i never
heard about anyone bitching about it
because he's like imagine i would be
pissed that'd be like bitching about
he's like they always bitched about
vacuuming but never like cleaning the
popcorn machine
yeah i'm now mcdonald's you know
their ice cream machine cleanest
fucking ice cream machine in the world
because
there's not a moment where they're not
cleaning that fucking thing so
uh they clean it every single night i
want a milkshake
uh i've never not gone to mcdonald's and
asked for milkshake and received one
i don't even i don't think they sell
them anymore i think it's a fucking lie
i think they just put it on there to
to bring you in and then it's just
being fucking washed every single time
then you settle for fries don't you
then you get a mediocre meal you get it
you get a satisfied meal not a happy one
but a satisfied meal for mcdonald's
you know there's no ice
i'm just satisfied to have the food but
i'd be a lot happier if i could get my
ice cream
you guys understand yeah and lately it's
been getting expensive as hell
even mcdonald's yeah mcdonald's is stupid
how how the hell can mcdonald's charge
like 12 dollars for a meal when i can
go get
a way better millet chilies pretend
they well because they
people keep no sense at all people keep
going yeah i know i don't get it
because they because they're like andy
where they want to get their food and go
home and eat
well you can do that with chilies yeah
chili says to go
yeah they don't have a drive-through
yeah i mean you don't want to walk in
because then they're like one person
ordering four things
what's going on and a milkshake
like you did that the other day right
and he's the type of guy too to be like
lying he's like i got friends at home i
promise
the misses and the kids
i don't eat this junk wait did you
actually do that last week
no i went to uh sometimes i get i get i
meet someone out in the wild when i'm at
walmart and they'll be like why is there
like
10 lunchables in your fucking cart and i
have to make up children
and if they know i don't have any then i
have to make up that i've kidnapped
children and it's like even it's even
harder that point they're like what
you kidnapped children well yeah at this
point
i'm back to no corner i can't tell you i
like pizzas lunchables
so fuck it uh why can't you
because i'm a man uh set designer this
is great
your voice broke on that one i'm a man
bumper cam is stupid um the mohawks so
they they chart okay the mohawks such a
lame lame ass
group i like a bobo's little friend he's
like damn it mess him up bro
like that dude i'm like what the fuck is up
with him
um but a bobo and then they're like 50
bucks
for the the toll and then they fuck off
right
the amount of like damage they did to
their car
and all that stuff i play the mohawks
really want that fucking 50 bucks they
like
their ass damn and at the same time why
the fuck would you go down the alleyway
that you know from the start oh yeah you
know they're flipped down
all the way down there why the hell
should i go in and ruin my car
like it's weird but dobo a bobo doesn't
think with his
yeah oh yeah i know his brain you know
he lost a couple chromosomes or so
i but that's probably because of the
air the paint chips and the paint chips
in the glue
now i said dude he but he can lift eight
tons
that's what they said they said to
start
a bobo he can lift eight tons or five
tons or whatever it's like
holy shit and then later when uh shuko
trend
when t1000 is like we're gonna make it
we're gonna make you strong
ten times stronger than any man he's
like i'm already stronger ten times
stronger this is gonna fucking kill me
and it's like well and it turns them
into a giant fucking penis scrotum
uh uh and uh he ends up joining the
the most colorful children gang you've
ever seen in your life
the power core whatever the fuck they
call themselves
uh oh brother this guy thing
yeah dude the power core is lit uh
elisa malano hot are we saying hot
oh yeah
oh yeah yeah yeah she definitely uh she
like a tomboy build
she definitely feels that uh crazy
hotness scale pretty well
see i don't i don't see it i think the
short hair that kills it for me i just
mean in general
no in what general elisa malano is hot
we yeah but she's fucking crazy or was
but oh even in real life yeah was she a
cytotolic
she just had some like off the wall
feelings and who cares she's hot yeah
she's hot
uh why is mohawk working for chuko i
don't know
i did it at the time why did they have
to cgi the elevator going down
that was so bad that was the worst
example of cgi
in an already bad cgi movie and it's
just to show an elevator going down they
really wanted a shot of a camera at the
bottom of an elevator shaft
having an elevator drop quicker than
normal to imply that there's a
subterranean floor instead of just
using a fucking elevator
yeah instead of just showing an elevator or
just have them just be in the lab be
where you're going to have to be i don't
care that it's 20 feet down
um i do like his line though you're like
a son to me and like a son i can always
have more
that was cold that was like fuck dude
that's a great line
to tell a bobo uh weird social
commentary like madonna and tom arnold
get a divorce
i don't know what's going on there
tom arnold called you crispies instead
of rice crispies
just like you i'm like i don't know
what's up there uh
cop dad is a pussy i'll say that now
oh yeah he's a sort of
100 100
he was supposed to be happy the entire
oh dude when he shows up at their at the
at the i was gonna say the three ninjas
hideout but the double dragons when he
shows up at the double dragons
he uh he takes his sunglasses off at the
same time
his uh lash and whoever his two little
asian dudes take their sunglasses off
double mint twins the double mint
twins oh is that yeah that's great
that's what i call them that's perfect
like the double mint double mint
don't they i was like they eat something
yeah i think they eat some double
mcgum on the way over i was like i was
like double mint i like that they don't
say a fucking word except for at the
end they're like come on dude what the
fuck happened
this sucks let's get out of here uh
so lotus flower is the name of the
chick she dies
which great like did she really have to
die like she could have like
her dying did not progress the story at
all
really didn't she should she knows the
story
she should have her story she should
have been kidnapped and then they had a
reason to go after him yeah because
literally she dies and they have the
medallion and the one thing they know is
to never give shuko the medallion and
they go right after them
instead of just leaving or dropping it in
the ocean like
he literally just has human beings
looking for it so
they thought that they died in the lake
and oh and when they were going through
the lake of like the destroyed los
angeles like oh look it's regular los
angeles it's gonna hold a regular la
uh but yeah when they they should just
dropped it in the middle of the fucking
ocean he would never find it
but my uh my thought of that elephant
looking guy was
the morphine dro Joe origin story which
elephant looked like
friday guy
shuko like ghosts are like ghost
i don't remember this guy yeah he's like
wearing a black uh
looks like an elephant like the elephant
man like pretty like pretty close he had
a fucked up forehead he looked like
he's been playing out in radiation like
are you talking about a bobo that's what it
sounds like you're talking about no no
it's a totally different guy
totally different guy he's only in that
one scene
well i know during the movie theater
fight i put i see that we've now reached
the home alone portion of the fight it's
when uh
it's when i think it's after that after
that yeah were they fighting and he
breaks like the
the gumball yeah the gumball machine
that was the lamest part of the whole if
someone my
you're my henchman for this scenario
yeah okay and you're a good henchman
you're going to do what i ask you to do
because i pay you well i'll take care
of your family and take care of
everybody you love right
and i treat you well treat you with
respect okay the most part that i know
yes yeah okay i mean yeah in this
scenario yeah
i when i so if i ask you to go
kill these two dudes and bring me the
medallion
and you're and you now have one of them
locked in front of you
very close to you it's five feet away
and i need you to kill him i need you
to take that medallion
he gets the bright idea to smash a
gumball machine a bunch of gumballs are
now flying your way
does that in any way prevent you from
attacking this guy and killing him
at that point i think i've fired yes like
you said as as an i fire because i'm
not doing my damn job right i haven't
how could gumball stop me at this point
no i'm saying would they in real life
stop you oh stop me like they stop that
asian guy i'm asking if they would stop
you because in my mind i stand there
i have gumballs lightly tap this rubber
part of my shoe
as they roll by at at a very slow
velocity and then i just walked forward
crushing gumballs under my feet
as i go to kill the person i was there
to kill and doesn't he throw like a
handful at him too and that stops him
originally oh yeah he throws them and
then he then he goes then he goes like
check this and like hit but with that
fighting scene i i give it like a three
it's like again like unrealistic i i
again i don't know 100 right that's out
of 100 right the three is out of 100
yeah let's go with that out of 100 that's
a nice let's be nice better than yet
100 i think i saw my children have a
more intense fight scene than that
yeah i put down mohawk mohawk
that's because he turns into a giant
penis uh
you see that's when we meet him uh
oh uh and he was useless in that he just
like charged them and like chased them
around yelling
and then he falls villain of all time
because then he falls he gets
that you know it's caught in a foam pit i
think right or so
uh it's like a net in a net and then
they he gets captured by the
pride parade uh power core or whatever
and they uh and they rehabilitate him i
guess
they try to no they know they like they
just beat him fucking at the end he's
no he's like uh like in the end he looks
in a mirror and realizes how like what
he turned into a dick yeah but he's like
they're like feeding them spinach the
whole time to get the secrets out
holy shit would you look at that thing
a micro penis is
squashed against the ball sack it's
mohawk is what i wrote uh
what motivates goons to fight after
they've been betrayed
i've always wanted to know that like why
is a bobo fighting
why does he like shuko straight up was
like all right fucking i don't need you
leave them behind and then a bobo is
like
i still owe i i owe him everything i'm
gonna fight for him whatever even though
he
like literally made you go into that
machine against your will turned you to
a scrota monster and then now you're
like
now you're you're gonna still on his
side yours ride or die bitch no dude
that's fucking stupid after that this
guy looks like they'll come in
there we go yeah he's another thing too
oh yeah he is he's in he's in uh he's in
the original
hilltop
oh uh the the chick lash
uh how many one-liners does she mean
because she literally was like is it hot
in here or is it just me
and then immediately after i'll be outside
like it's just like every time it went
to her she just had a one-liner she
looked right at the camera
winked and said i'm the sex appeal i
think i think she slept with someone for
that role
oh yeah she hasn't been in much well she
was in uh she's in
uh not pride and prejudice what's the
soap opera
that's general hospital not general
what's the other one uh all my family
oh uh that one children all my children
i think she's in all my children
and for like three or four thousand
episodes because only because they do it
every day
it's five days a week they have if you go
to the imdb of some of these soap
operas like general hospital their
characters are in the
nine ten thousand episode range of
episodes they've appeared because soap
operas are every
fucking day she's got a new episode
she's a general hospital general
hospital there we go same shit
um so great practical effects with
explosions um i think that the shadow
scene where
shuko chokes the mongoloid is that the
one yeah
i'm working on the mongoloid morton joe
the origin story yeah i thought that was
pretty that was a cool scene
i thought it was fantastic uh the
outside fight is
bad so many people dress stupid and
doing nothing
when the lees end up running like all we
gotta do is make it to and then they
like run into that
the where we meet in which the warrior
scene the weird warriors cosplay
bro those some of those costumes are so
i hate to use the word but they are
absolutely retarded they are we have
minds that are wearing gloves
that have bulbous points at the end of
each finger that must be
foam or some shit inside of it no reason
for it to be there they can't even pick
something up if they wanted to with
that shit they're there
so they have and they can't even make a
fist they can't make a fist it's
pointless they can just slap you with
some foam
fingers and hope you call it a day my
wife said uh she's like what what the
director tell all these people like
bring the weirdest shit you can find
he found a bunch of mimes it was just
like yeah come on guys
it's absolutely one of the
worst fight scenes i've ever seen it's
the
it's the most egregious example of
stand around to do nothing itis that
i've ever seen in a movie
where 50 guys against two dudes
it's over i don't care if those two
dudes are
fucking uh master chief outside of his
armor you know what i mean
50 dudes versus two dudes is there
50 really motivated guys
it even with little to no fight
experience
against you and one other fighter of
your choice mahi
do you think you got it oh they got it
50 guys we're talking not not
not i remember when the me and uh me and
a friend
uh you know we were actually these uh
these kids at a park right and they
thought they were hard and they made my
friend eat some white dog shit
and then next thing you know we were
fucking up the next day we went back and
fought
no just kidding i was i was making a plot
of step brothers
like if him and dario like even me and dario
like 50 like
damn 50 unordered a lot yeah that's what
i'm saying like they might be more
motivated but they were unorganized they
kept on single fighting them there's no
no i'm on the best drugs there must be
if i'm gonna find that that much people
yeah there's a that's the thing because
you can't take on 10 coming at you no
matter what that's what i'm saying
but one at a time that's a different
story but if actually there's been one
movie
old boy that kind of does the fight
against a bunch of people right
because they put them in a hallway and
you see it from a two like a side
school or perspective
hallway c the daredevil hallway well this
one's i think even better yeah old boys
are really old boys even better
see fighting with people but uh there's
that and then um i also think another
great example is there's a movie that is
i think it's done in one take i believe
the whole movie
and it's one samurai versus a hundred
men
and it's in a village and he just he's
like just walking around this village
everyone's attacking him from every
angle but he just keeps fucking them up
and kill
and uh it's not great because they
decided to do it in one
shot and so it had to be very super
organized all that kind of stuff so
it looks a little cheesy not every kill
looks convincing the john wick scene
where he goes up the stairs that's
another similar scene like that
every time he fell down the stairs he's dead
but nope he got back up if he can
survive getting shot falling off five
feet or five stories and just landing on
the ground and it's getting up sorry
spoilers for going with yeah two or three
like one of the earlier i own them all
so
oh what the fuck uh
so uh bad um oh at one point the cops
like yeah they keep
they keep chanting the truce is over man
and i'm like are they is did they add the
man
to the end of that shit like i get the
truce is over the truce is over not the
truce is over man
the truth the truce is over man that's a
such a stupid chant so uh i didn't like
that i wrote it down why do they add the
man
when when they get after that scene
when they go in the shack
i put down these guys definitely have
adhp
they're like they're like in like the
like arms like uh like something out of
uh night of the living dead
you know the arms are pushing through
the walls and they're like hey check out
this bike
i can ride this thing i know what you're
talking about yeah
everyone stops pushing against the wall
the moment they start looking around
for clues the moments they start
playing a point and click adventure
game
yeah a point on everything to see if it
works uh
and they eventually find boat they have
a really fun
why is the water flammable scene which i
loved
uh oh and then uh when they
when they find the power core and they
take the
special entrance that leads them down
the tunnel and they wake up and they're
surrounded by a bunch of intimidating
fucking five-year-olds in rainbow
uniforms and that's supposed to be the
intimidate did you do you remember that
when they fall down that pit
and you just have a bunch of kids like
like menacingly like holding up
carotidins
they even have the proper stance mike
what the hell's going on here
nothing if i was billy or ugly or
whatever their names are i would have
stood up and i would have i would have
smacked the first kid to prove
dominance
i would have just i would have picked
him up and thrown him across the room
and i would have been like now what put
your hands down you look silly
like the show take me to your leader
like the sick wizard bodge joke
oscope that she says she's like let's
try clicking your heel
dope that was a good burn that was a good burn
yeah least intimidating group of
children i've ever seen
uh then cop and lash fight and i'm like
nope
op wins every fucking time how does lash
even stand a fucking chance against this
grown man
this is like a woman who just she all
she knows is one-liners she's not even a
real
fighter she has a whip and
that whip by the way did so many you'd
let her whip you come on
oh i would let her whip me but that's
different because i don't know dude her
whip in this movie
defied all logic she was able to
whip around like somebody's waist and
then just one-handed
pull them across the room to the where
they fall and
get unconscious immediately but then
when it's across the pillar
it's stuck oh yeah it gets it gets
oh can't unwrap yeah but someone's waist
nope i can run row that
um maybe if you had so many uh get kicked
and fall on the ground and you're out
cold
i was all day long so like in between
there i had this thought is
is this truly a post-apocalyptic or just
teens and kids figure out they had they
outnumber the adults
like is like none of the actual adults
made any fucking sense but all the like
it seemed like just kids and teens just
ran the same episode south park where
they get the where they tell
the cops that all the parents are
molesting them so they all get
arrested and the kids run their own town
yeah had vibes yeah the power core
oh lame escape it's so fucking lame um
then when the cop and lash the fighting
i go did that cop just kill her like he
just took over what seems like a pretty
light table
it's a little who when they're fighting
cop and lash when they're fighting any
tip throw the table on her and she just
like
doesn't take much yeah yeah um
i think that the uh i i don't know why i
wrote i want lash and elissa milano the
fuck
but that is one of my notes you know i
want lash and melissa milano the fuck
actually i was thinking it much better
movie i put i put something similar i
put elissa milano's character is trying
to fuck
oh yeah i think we'd all want to watch
that right
yeah i would i would j hollow yeah i
would
well she's dead now so you guys are all
neckless agreeable
it's agreeable so elissa and the actress
we like to reroute our own movies here
so it's
we already wrote that one it's uh just
it's a 20 minute portal it's them two
fuck
they use the whip the scene that made me
last laugh the most last last the most
was uh
watching them uh the uh when that like
he hugged him like he bared hugs him
gimme and like he just like uh
when who bear hugs who the a bobo
no no no bobo uh shuko shuko bear hugs
him when he's uh
when he turns into one of the court yeah
when he's doing the only course
so fucking confused when that corpse
got off that table and was like hey guys
remember me from uh i'll fuck you up and
i'm like
who the fuck is this guy and then it
took me a while to be like oh
this guy could possess people i don't
know about that shit but i really
so fuck i was like did i fall asleep
because it happens look it happens
sometimes i fall asleep while watching
something
i gotta go back i thought i fell asleep i
rewound i was like no
i remember all of this what the fuck is
going i
rewound it i didn't let the scene play
out which would have explained things
i rewound it i went back i looked
through to make sure i didn't miss
anything and i got to that point still
confused
and i watched going what the fuck is
happening i did same thing
i went i went what the fuck i was like
is this in the game i was like i'm
confused what's on me
did you did it confuse you guys did you
know immediately with shuko possessing
the body
um that that's the only guy that with
the power so i assume
honestly i assume so see see he's he's
smart but he's just a smart
he's got the batman brain which is like
detective thing
rational thing i was like if he was a
stoner than yes
yeah if that was a stoner see i don't
smoke and i was confused
i was watching i was like did i miss a
scene was i paying attention to my
phone a little bit too hard on that one
i thought i fucking fell asleep as far
as i could tell only 12 percent of
people in the world understood this
movie yeah i don't i don't even think
it was i don't even think those people i
think those are robots yeah that's just
the imdb rating so i just
i thought the uh the double dragon
arcade game in the background was
why they put it in there yeah that was
yeah yeah but all of the other arcade
games were blocked
blacked out like the the the by
graffiti because it's in the gang
hideout or whatever but it's also
couldn't afford the rights to probably
show the game
i put uh i don't know why but billy is
really dumb
i'm happy that they uh actually it put
the game back in because you know when i
was kid i used to play double graphic
while
i'm actually surprised i'm trying to
think time-wise wait a minute
double dragon didn't exist anymore
yeah you so you play the emulators of
rubble double dragon when you were a kid
yeah the arcade games have been gone a
long time but you know what
some of the places have it but i'm gonna
say this
my i think right now it almost felt like
we were picking on him
for being young and i want don't put we
well mike was part of it
yeah i guess i will say this i don't
think that
as long like it's weird because it's
like i want to shame him for being like
well you didn't play it on the original
super nintendo when you were a kid
but then at the same time like well why
should that matter
well it doesn't matter if you played it on
a fucking emulator on a smartphone
because you're just younger than us and
that's just the way you played it and
that's just the way you played whatever
right
like but the stand-up machines as we
were talking about before the stand-up
machines were something completely
but my uh my beat-em-up game as a child
was uh
the simpsons game and streets of rage
i like streets of rain and golden axe
for me it was a metal slug because i
had a slug yeah
yeah i had a friend actually he owned a
uh big old house inside the woods i
remember going down to his basement
because his basement had a bunch of
arcade games down there like full big
old arcade games and one of them was
metal club three
did he want to take pictures of you
no playing different sports oh no no
okay because i saw an after school
special
where uh gary colman's character and
his friend or whatever they go they go
to uh they go to this dude's house and
he takes a dude was p-ditty and he tries
he tries to take pictures of them in
their underwear and the way you were
saying it's like i got this friend you
took me to this house i don't really
know where
but uh we went down to the basement i
was like please tell me it's not a happy
ending
or or not or not make it a good story
that's all folks
let's hope there's no happy ending uh
but uh wow an hour 20 in billy figures
it out
figures what oh yeah he throws it he's
like fuck this thing he throws in then
it works
yeah the other guy just has to rub it
off
um yeah yeah the throwing the
medallion i put the throwing the
medallion
yay
uh why did i put that was an awesome
transition into the two sword guys
oh because he like puts them together
oh i went together and then they turned
into two
yeah did the dragons turn into two
different dudes at one point at the end
there and fight
yes yeah that was weird but uh i put on
that i put
they couldn't defeat the guy with half
of one but full power easy peasy
wait the whole plot of the movie the guy
gets the full medallion
and then and then they can kick his
ass like were they regular humans when
they get yeah yeah because then they
took the medallion they popped the
medallion
and then i put uh adobo when he's a
penis monster
i put he gets angry busts out and does
absolutely nothing
he's the worst villain it's all fucking
thing
uh oh by the way if we're talking uh
beat-em-ups then i absolutely have to uh
recommend that you play the brand new
ninja turtles game mute may or not that's
the move
but there is a i think it's free on game
pass
if you have xbox i think it's um very
inexpensive if you're buying it on
another platform but it's a
absolutely banger beat-em-up that's
designed to look and feel exactly like
an old school
uh an old school beat-em-up like that
and it's ninja turtles and uh there's
some fun little additions i think you
could play as uh
like more you play is more than just
the ninja turtle like kasey jones april
o'neill
uh i'm hoping villains i know they did a
dlc i haven't played it yet but it's
great
so if you like beat-em-ups uh
the power uh the chinese dudes were very
funny when they were leaving
and then uh i put i don't understand
all right that's i mean i that's all my
notes
overall you have three pages of notes on
this movie i have like two notes
yeah what are your two notes this movie
sucks
and it's the worst cringe dialogue i've
ever heard in my life
fair enough i mean listen it's hard to
save this movie
yes and at the end of it where is this
pretty much um at the happy
approach you know a happy ending at the
beautiful city
and then next you know the henchman
comes down you know like
what you gotta do now you're just like i
thought i heard one of them i think we
should do figured skating now
and they're just talking to him like
yeah fuck that guy you know but
but overall are you talking about the two
asian guys yeah those two henchmen the
two double men twins yeah the double
men twins they were they were so funny i
thought they
wouldn't speak english and then why
would you think that well because they
didn't say a word throughout the whole
thing
oh and they were two guys
it's a trap it's a trap yeah forget it
uh well overall like i said
um if you were talking about you know
with the category
um a d i give a d
yeah because it doesn't have the good
like you know realistic
reports um you know with with the
pie scene
uh they did ask him you know karate and
some takumando
techniques there but if i was in the
same like probably kicking everybody's
ass
but overall yeah it's i i gave the end of
the day category but how about you joe
for me i would probably give it the same
because
it was it was a little it was a bit
lackluster
honestly and as i said before you know
the fight
the fight scenes were lackluster you
know when
it was just a couple punches and a kick
wow they go flying back hit the ground
oh buddy you know it's weird and at the
same time
that like dani that dani phantom
paranormal activity
you know type shit
none of us get the reference i know i
can i understand what he is but
mike doesn't know what a phantom
that's hilarious i love it keep saying
young shit mike it blows my mind
but seriously it's slang right
much appreciate much but it was just
weird
and how the phantom grabbed the
medallion
and just slithered back with nobody's
knowledge i was just confused about
i was like what what the hell
what the hell how how is he grabbing it
if he's like
fucking shadow how he's grabbing physical
objects
fucking shadow don't doubt him on
fucking shadow
that's you give it to you as well
yeah
i'm thinking about firing our boss after
watching this
um how do you well really i mean what he
was describing like okay well i never
saw it but hey
you know when i see it's got marcus
goskos and
scott wolfen i'm like those guys
they can fight both of them why the
fuck
did they not use them to their ability
we did see some athletic
yeah i was like they're they're i think
they're young
needed the money uh they're blackmailed
uh they were blackmailed yeah i mean
there's there's numerous of
negative reasons there has to be an
explanation because it should have been
so much better
uh it it's i mean i can't there's some
funny stuff in it so i can't give it a
w but i can give it an f
not an f plus no it's really you're
talking even with all the world
so bad it is so bad all right
zach there's like no quality to this
movie
i'm with uh i'm worse than mike
do that i'm i'm worse i'm on the edge of
a gun
i'm i'm teetering on a w i didn't
put it because it is from a video game
so
i mean there's back back when it was
made there's limited
kind of storytelling in those video
games will beat them up so
i gave it f minus just play just play
the fucking game just real fast if you
want to if you want to like double
dragon games much better games way
better and and has a blonde person and
it describes people well it doesn't uh
hire uh you know let me ask you this
motherfucker how about this
what if anything the story and what you
do
in fucking double drag it's
a bunch of goons show up and two
brothers just beat them up
and toss them around very silly for
about 20 minutes
and then you see some kind of
kind of story so is this not the most
accurate video game movie adaptation
that's ever been made i rather watch
three ninjas
i would do but that's way better if
somebody made a pong movie
and literally just watching pong
but from the paddle's point of view
like could you be mad at that does it
chris pratt saying it of course it's
chris pratt
chris pratt's like oh i'm gonna do this
jack black is the other panel let's not
make jack black
and the rock is the ball i thought i
would say
that's how you that's how you get people
to get money right
right you gotta make those through you
fucking every single movie of all time
uh well the last five years yeah
f- i i i didn't want to put it as a w
because the source material is not a
lot
so they just had i just don't understand
what else post-apocalyptic
i really don't besides the fucking
earthquake it seems like they can't
that stuff went with the game yeah i was
like they actually made like
post-apocalyptic and like there was like
you know people
living in gangs kind of like a warrior
kind of thing where you didn't see like
an average person like during the day
it's a normal society at night it's
fucking chaos like that
made no sense what will stop the gangs
from
being chaotic during the day besides
their agreement with the
pussy ass police yeah yeah the pussy
ass police like those police are like
when the like chief was like i'm going
to go out and say like we should take
back and they're like
no that's nice that scene and then when
he walked out everybody joined them
no they didn't they left they left them
alone
until the back of the face of this
movie well they got on the radio the
cops got on the radio said hey i
handcuffed who
like whatever the fuck the main villain
guy's name is right now i think you
should call brent and i want his rating
on this and then oh shit we were i was
supposed to record he said he was going
to call it in right and then
call it into the thing and then uh you
know they're like
oh he's caught now we'll show up you
have to have his defense because i got
to hear his
yeah i gotta i gotta hear this bro
now i will say this uh
i'll maybe
you know it's good for a podcast silence
oh yeah well why don't you get talking
oh you're supposed to put the phone up to
the mic so you can hear the ring
yeah
all right we uh you're on live
everybody it's brent
so defend yourself on this fucking
movie
i know not every listen our two guests
mahi and josh they
gave it deeds uh mike
and and mike gave it an f zach over here
almost gave it a w and steady settled on
an f- i haven't given my grades yet
i like the world that they built
i like this post it's where 80 wants to
live
that's where i'd love to live in this
like i want to go to an underground tag
team
g fight tournament full d
you didn't say anything positive about
the movie the whole review
yeah but yeah it's a beat-em-up i was i
made the point that it's it's basically
the warriors but just every gang gets
gayer when you when you meet them
and then also um that it's uh the most
accurate video game to movie adaptation
of all time because what is double
dragon if it's not just a beat-em-up
like a bunch of just two brothers
beating up a bunch of colorful goons
and then uh ending game over man
yeah so what what do you what do you
think of it this tree fighter movie was
way better
i think it was great uh i don't know
maybe
yeah
yeah we got kids yeah kids running
around
you don't want to hear you being like
double dragons fucking awesome shit bro
is that
no but it's still it's a fun movie i
mean don't get me wrong it's not a
not a great
oh c minus you're the man i needed that
to happen brendan but that doesn't count
well then thank you so fucking much
because with with that i actually my
grade is i'm giving it a d plus a d
for double dragon and so because it
actually ends up being a d
f minus an f the grade four this is going to be a d d
it's going to be a double d it's going
to be double dragon
fuck yes i wanted this to happen but i
wanted it to be okay
i don't mean you have both d so you know
yeah it makes sense
hell yeah but but i think the f minus
makes it like
curved down no because it's f minus f but
then it's d
d c minus d plus and a d
i think if you do that math it doesn't
work well dd might work
that d doesn't work but dd might can i
do f
minus f i change mine f plus f if you do
f minus f it's a zero
if i do f plus f
that cancels out your d plus d if you do
an f plus an f it's a d
no no it's a it's a super f nope it's a
d it's like when you failed the
you have to go no no i i will find ways
i'm like a genie in a lamp i'll find
ways to make this
into it's not gonna work it's like the
it's like it's like when you die and you
ran out of lives
and you ran out of quarters yeah that's
this movie yeah it's a real video game
movie no it's real shit and i'm glad i
ran out of quarters
oh the double mint with the double mint
with
what do you think of the giant penis
that runs around attacking them all
they call them a bobo
yeah i called him i called him i called
him he went from mohawk to mohawk
brent he said nothing nice about this
movie i loved it
why was that necessary why was the movie
necessary
yeah that was a pretty that was a pretty
tragic scene
where for a bobo
it hit me close to home i looked a lot
like him
yeah i'd say you look like a penis
monster
people look at me they think i'm a giant
cock um
or have one i can't they don't they don't
think that one they don't think that
they just think i look like i have
scrolled over they say you have a they
say you have a really big clip though
uh well okay so brent uh just so that
you're on the phone
next week the movie that we're going to
be reviewing is hocus pocus one and two
because we're kicking off our spooky
month and uh
okay awesome we'll see you then we're
gonna we're gonna ridicule you for this
movie
everybody say goodbye to brendan later
red
later red bye brendan
all right so next week join us for
hocus pocus one and two
and then i want to change my grade to a
w no it's too late it's too late and now
uh at the end of our shows we like to
do a little bit of a something called
recommend
recreational recommendations and then
this is where i'm gonna go
beep
so uh i watched
beetle juice beetle juice over the
last night uh i watched it in a d box
which have you guys heard about d box
no it's movie theater where your chair
does light movement and vibrations
throughout the movie that sync up to
scenes in the movie
and it's weird but it's also pretty cool
and also just to tell you now there is a
seat warmer
and if you are fucking around with the
buttons and you see three little red
lights go up just know
that your ass is going to be on fire
very soon after and it's really
uncomfortable and you don't really
you don't really recover from that heat
for the rest of the movie you're kind of
sweaty uncomfortable
i'm more talking to josh than you
mahi you look like you well regulate
your air
me and this guy we're like we get it the
seat warmer will kill us
in the right in the right conditions
pretty much yeah
yeah not even the right condition most
conditions a seat warmer is not good for
us
uh but what's it's no one outside and
see where you know what these big guys
understand
or you know what you guys have your
problems yeah
thanks mahi i had that covered just but
i like that you pointed out the most
muscular man in the room pointing out
that we
there were some big guys with health
problems thank you uh
he knows it's an audio podcast i like i
like beetle juice beetle juice
it was funny it held up but i like what
uh what zach said the review that you
read
oh they're like uh they had three
scripts and they couldn't decide so
they're just like fuck it let's throw
them all in
that sounds exactly it but you get a
lot of beetle juice from it so
like if you like it and then also dbox
as an experience
i give it a definitely give it a shot
one day
i i'm gonna go to another dbox like i
want to uh
terrifier three in a dbox food i think
that would be great
but because it like beetle juice
scared the shit out of me a few times
chair moving
because like you're just sitting there
it'll go it'll go away
and then out of nowhere beetle juice
like pops up behind someone in your
whole chair going fuck you bitch
and you like wake up you're like i
wasn't sleeping
what the hell yeah it moves and shit it
rocks and like this
yeah i felt uh kind of health conscious
because like mine was like clicking
i was moving left and right that's like
is it the chair or me
do there yeah there's one scene that
where the car just the car
does this it like comes down around a
bend
your seat just kind of goes like leans
and it just feels
weird it like like cool like twisters
would have been cool
twisters would have been great every
time i was spinning around
you would be like the chair would start
rumbling the shit closer like that'd be
sick i think in a
transformers movie could be fun with
the kids any action movie would be
great yeah oh bullets
yeah enemy at the gates you know enemy
at the gates they just wait until
you only feel when the sniper shots are
fired
could you could you imagine double
dragon on the d-box
oh no it's it's i don't know if i want
to feel the simulations of having a
giant cock running around beating people
up
every step he takes is like
giant
you're like no he's a vibrator actually
actually i'll say this i'm not even
gonna lie
when when uh there's a scene there's a
romantic scene
in beetle juice a very light romantic
scene but
the seat vibrates when they're hooking
up and i was like
what the fuck i was like i don't need
that i don't need
that level of immersion that's one you
can keep it down on but when he like
puts her on the bed when they start
making out you feel a little
rumble and then he puts her on the bed
like rumble rumble you're like what the
fuck
that was her vibrator that's her
vibrator yeah
that's what it brings the question
though is that what movies are going to
have to do is stuff like that
because movie theaters are gonna have
to do that yeah
because movie theaters are not worth
going to everyone knows watching shit
at home is the way to go
you just have to wait now a month or two
fuck movie theaters they're the worst
it's expensive and nobody likes them i
just if they were cheaper
only thing we just talked about how
they would clean the machine in 20
years
bags of popcorn in my i bought this
little fucking thing
teacup looking this teapot
looking plastic thing from walmart and
you just drop kernels into it it's a
perfect popcorn maker every time
and you put popcorn butter the same as
popcorn
it's popped corn it's a corn that's been
popped by heat
you can do that almost anywhere with
almost any amount of corn
and with almost anything yeah popcorn
hits different though
i mean if it's fresh out of that
machine
fresh hot you know you give it it's
buttery
oh man gosh my friend and refills oh
you know
you know what pisses me off microwave will make it for 50 cents i'll tell you
this brother
i'll tell you this for free one of those
little like a micro version of that
like they have it like you know places
and whatever
they're not that expensive i bet if you
take more money i bet if you if you
saved up a little bit you get yourself
a real popcorn machine
and then you can have that at home and
it'll taste as good as the theater in
fact your
room will smell like movie theater
all you gotta do is never wash it yeah
you probably won't clean it you'll
probably clean it more than they would
never clean it never clean it
i never clean anything including myself
or any of the couches that i might or
might not master
oh damn now i know i'm fucking crushing a
bunch of mini sold
so you just know it's gonna be hard for
you all to get up
because it's gonna be like
god damn are you stuck to that couch
i don't know where i'm going with this
i'm so sorry uh
so mine was yeah beetle juice beetle
juice is my recommendation i say check
it out
you guys have anything to recommend
that's outside the movie that you might
have seen recently read or
watched um not that i know actually i
haven't watched any any other movies
um that's something i definitely need to
watch is beetle juice beetle juice
did you like the first one yes actually
love it and if that's like you know
uh the main character is
beetle juice no no no i got uh kel uh
keaton oh michael keaton sorry about that
i because i i'm what what i get
you've been hitting the head a lot i
don't expect you to remember every
actor's name
yeah exactly that's what i'm like man i
went good with faces it hasn't knocked
the politeness out of you so it's like
one of those cool things like
you're super polite well spoken it's
okay for you not to know michael keaton's
name but anyways yeah like i haven't
watched the the latest one so
unfortunately no i i don't have a name
movie recommendation have you watched
the newest flash movie no i haven't well
i i'm not uh no one else wants to waste
their time going to batman is that
michael keaton oh no no i unfortunately
spoiler i didn't really want i was
gonna say like maybe you can watch that
too if you like michael keaton but you
can watch the founder it's two years now
it's not a spoiler actually the founder
right the founder of the hell mcdonalds
got me okay very specifically all about
how in 1987 they made a decision to shut
down all their ice cream and tell people
at all the times that they're just
cleaning actually i'm not even kidding
the frozen chocolate shake is such an
important part of that movie
that's how it all started that's how it
all fucking started uh people really
wanted to change so um
cool so nothing but um yeah go for it
okay for me i'll tell you about the movie
that
is review on here it's called uh
telephone booth
phone booth wait is it phone booth or
telephone it's phone booth
or is this a ripoff of phone booth is it
a what's the is it about a guy who is
standing in a phone booth
talking to a guy on the phone the whole
time yeah yeah
and there and basically they got like a
rifle and at him yeah that's phone booth
that's phone booth oh that's phone booth
yeah okay i i get it because you've
never seen a phone booth
you're only 20 years old they seen them
in a movie they literally they hired
they hired professionals to go out rip
all of those out of the ground
before you were born probably yeah they
don't exist anymore
it's weird that you cannot find pay
phones anywhere you know it tells
it's like a red box machine they sell
pay phone cards
well that's just like a fun novelty
i've seen a pay phone once at a restaurant
it's called the buttercup pantry
shout out the buttercup pantry you know
it's a very good it's a very good place
but it was like a very very old one like
a 1908 phone oh so like yeah if it's
historic and they're keeping it there
for historic purposes
but like the actual one on the street i
would love to see a doctor who
police box
okay so uh your movie is uh phone booth
yeah phone booth yeah that's a solid
ass movie it is
it's high it's high intensity i think
keeper southerland yeah keeper southerland
the he's the guy on the he's the guy with
the rifle on the phone and then the tom
feral you ever see 24
for a tv show where keeper southerland
plays jack bowler the most badass
fucking counter terrorist unit
specialist of all time oh hell no he
will fuck you shit up just to get an
answer
and the the the whole premise of the
show is that uh because it
before streaming it was like live
commercials and everything
so the show would start at like the
beginning of like 1 p.m
and it would just be like beep beep and
you'd see a live
of like 1 p.m and the show would end at
2 p.m
in real time so the hour that went from
you watching it at seven
seven o'clock right is when you would
watch it or eight o'clock whatever came
on from eight to nine it would be one
more hour of a 24 hour day
there's 24 episodes and each one is an
hour long so if you watched it with
commercials it's 24 hours of content you
get rid of the commercials it fucks
everything
uh time it does and they handle the
commercials interesting on that show
because they'd be like going
into a room to rest or whatever going
to the restroom like a pee break would
be
the commercial because everything's
happening real time in the show
so like there's never a wasted moment
it's like it's like everything you're
seeing is every second of jack bauer's
day
leading up to him solving the fucking
terrorist thing very cool show
very cool that's cool they there's a
great south park
24 that's all recommended
Zach you got anything correct uh i've
been watching uh scotty k fitness so my
youtube
pretty uh seems like a chill guy that
does like uh health food
like if you're like i love sweets so he
does makes a healthy version of it
pretty funny also uh check out uh
fights coming up good recommendation
yeah absolutely uh i'll be there for the
november ones at the avi
so just if you want to come hang out
with me and you want an excuse to come
out to
laughlin uh nevada area i know that the
avi is a little bit away but if you
want to come out and hang out it's
that's gonna be a fucking fun time uh
we'll be parking so uh avi the fights
you know what the fights are called
or the promoter the wfc and the
final motors
wfc yeah the world fighting captain
god how would people find tickets online
where were they going
actually we we uh the fighters
okay so reach out to me on
our website you can call the voicemail
you can reach out to me on facebook if
we're friends you can reach out to me on
the youtube channel
comments just reach out and uh if you
want tickets and i will point you in the
direction of the high
and you can help him and you can help out
the teams you can help out the sport
you can help out the amateurs you can help out
the ivy you can help out our
city our industry everything it'd be a
great time and you can help out
me by coming out and spending time with
me so perfect mike do you have a rec
yeah i got actually two uh netflix is
filling it lately uh
chaos oh yeah watch the first 30
maybe first minute of i'm telling you
that that show is insane
yeah i really want to see that's what i
don't want to give any spoilers for it
but uh um modern day
if the greek pathology of
gods were real and existed today
so zeus was god zeus is goldblum
jeff goldblum and he plays zeus but
this is like
2024 people walk around cell phones and
shit
but zeus exists you still have to pray
to like Poseidon and stuff every now and
then like
but very cool world building very very
interesting it's on netflix on netflix
that's that's one that's on my top of
my list of like and then
on max the other thing we want this
we sat down last night at 10 30
i said okay we're gonna watch the first episode uh
we went to bed at three when they were
all
oh wow there's four this is now they just
mike is 73 years old old as fuck he's he
was around when uh there's phone booths
when there was phone booths exactly that
really was
so him staying up him staying up past 10
30
let alone till 3 a.m is uh is this is a
well more of a wife than me
yeah that's insane what's the show the
show is called chump crazy
chump crazy chump like monkeys chimp
crazy chump crazy is this the uh
tiger king it's the guys that made
tiger king yes
dang and is it really that good it i was
gonna skip it crazy no it's that good
it's insane as good as tiger king it's
as good as okay
it's maybe better than tiger is it as
shocking as tiger king
it's less shocking but better that's what
made me kept watching tiger king was
like that that second episode where you're
like how the fuck is
this a thing i don't know well you are
like that in this how the fuck is this
a thing how do these people just have
chimps at their fucking house
oh did this guy's meth boyfriend just
kill himself in the basement in front of
a bunch of people
no did this chick just get her arm ripped
off by a
wait not only is he he has one husband
he has a second one
the second husband's just cool and then
like the third episode and he's like
yeah i'm not even gay
you ever seen tiger king yeah and i'm
just i have that as a tiger king
i'm not even gay bro yeah he's like i'm
not even gay he just fed me meth
yeah very similar but uh a little more
documentary style than tiger king
it feels more real than tiger king if
that makes sense
uh tiger king it seemed like a fever
it's
seem like a fever dream right in the middle of soviet
this though these are people that like
really a chimp will like rip somebody's
face off literally rip their face off
oh that that happened yeah no this is
in there this is all in there those
people they follow that lady and they
talked to all the people in that town
yeah they're like yeah you should get rid of your chimp
do you see her without her face
yes kind of uh looks like the scene from
terrifying
yeah or how about the worse it's worse
the chick that was actually attacked by a chip
yeah there's there's is there is a lot of
blood in it when they show because they
showed the scenes where the chimps went
crazy or whatever
guilty people or ripped the pork roll's face off
and did live
yeah uh but it's it's insane
and it's uh you just don't understand
first of all my main question after
watching the whole thing is how do all
these fuckers that are this crazy have
all the money
because they have a ton of money and
i've never understood that but i know
what you mean
i think what it is is we're all we're all
limited by the law in a lot of ways i'm
not saying we're all law abiding citizens
every aspect because we probably speed a
little bit here and there
maybe watch a movie streaming online you
you know whatever but jaywalk you know
jaywalk well i would never
if i don't even want you telling my
audience you animal
the fbi is on my don't listen to my watch
let's go
don't ever jaywalk that's dangerous um
no but uh but where was i going with
jaywalking where we cross that they
don't that they don't care about the
consequences then you see that in this
you do see that a little bit because
she's like i want to go to jail for
fuck yeah to keep a chip you know like
how many people are getting uh in
trouble now for taking out those ppe
loans during covid uh and just
trying thinking that they were just
going to take advantage of the
situation now everything's coming back
to bite them in the ass it's great but
and they seem not to understand like
why would that happen to me well because
you stole all this money from the
government
so next week join us for hocus pocus one
to two that's going to be a lot of fun
starting off with spooks even right and
then a week after that i believe or
maybe two weeks after that we start our
17 nights of halloween so keep an eye
out for that that's gonna be a lot of
fun that is one halloween special every
night for 17 nights straight leading to
a halloween special on halloween it's
gonna be fucking awesome
so join us for that join us next week
for hocus pocus one and two
uh with us as always is it's j hollow
mob mentality motherfucking east coast
assassin
josh hollow yes sir
with us as always it is mahi the samurai
smoking cloud i appreciate you um letting
me be on here thank you thank you yeah
thanks so much for having or for having
wait thanks so much for having you is
what i coming having to have me here
thanks yes here on the podcast on the
front on the friday rise podcast
hell yeah yeah it's all right so because
i get being hit too much you know
no my brain guys you can kick my ass
i'm never gonna correct you ever
hey hey yeah so andy real smooth
yeah really but yes it's been a pleasure
being on the front of the friday rise
podcast with um with my friend andy here
again thank you for for uh with my
guest too j hollow
we're dedicated to andy as well for letting us sit here enjoy this
opportunity with y'all you know what i
mean we had a very good time very like i
just got the blessing from a mob boss in
fracking universe that was awesome yeah
thank god i'm not sleeping with the
fishes tonight let me just hope next
time it's not double dragon yeah
jesus with us as always is michael uh he
would sleep with the fishes for hours
and hours and hours then he'll come up
and he'll still bitch about how he uh
doesn't you know i don't even know where
i'm going with this if you never die
and sleep you know why right because
i'm chelios mother fucker
i told you i stopped fuck i hate
everything but with this is all no
yeah listen you don't even want to go
with this is always it's it's zachary
improv uh ex-producer ex-god
he never says anything he's such a dick
uh yeah it's just fucking cast these
things never end right
anyway this has been the podcast i've
been the host i'm andy rice we've been
fried wait i'm andy rice let's get
fried we've been we've been fried we've
been rice sweeping podcast have a good
night