As stoners we shall be, for thee, my pod, for thee,
Jeeters hath descended forth unto my hand, and my bell-ringer will swiftly carry out thy command.
So we shall blow a cloud forth to thee, and teeming with kissy noises shall it ever be,
El Nomine, Fried Espiritu De Rice! And welcome to a very special
Boondock Saints edition of Fried Rice Podcast. I am your host, Father Andy Rice, and with us as
always is my good friend Austin. He uh blessed and and he did he did three hours of Hail Marys to be
here today, Pharaoh. Check me out on funny junk. We have uh our most problematic father, it's Michael,
he's the one you've been reading about in the papers, Larsen. Cheerios, motherfucker. And
we're not with not with us here today but with us here in spirit of course is our is our good friend
Brennan with me sing it with me.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
Shanpeley up to Boston. And uh this is Fried Rice Podcast. I won't do any more Irish accents even
though that wasn't bad, it wasn't as cartoony as you guys thought it was going to be. It kind of
sounded like a sexy Lucky Charms guy what's his name? Um oh the little leprechaun guy he was like
if he was a sexy version of him.
Does he have a name?
All right.
I don't know, he probably has a name.
I just found out. Lucky the Leopard King.
He probably is lucky.
He is probably lucky, yeah.
I just found out last night that the boy
who is fishing off of the moon in the DreamWorks logo
has a name, I think it's like Henry,
or maybe that's his father.
But his father was commissioned by Steven Spielberg
to paint before AI, literally Steven Spielberg
had to go find a painter and be like,
I have this idea where I want to see a kid,
or I want to see a man fishing off of the side of the moon.
And the guy's like, okay, how about I make it a boy though?
Cause I think that would look cooler.
And he modeled it after his own son
and then put it on the moon.
And so they named him that.
But like, isn't that crazy?
Like I just made a video and I showed Mike last week
where it's a boy and his father
and they're walking along the surface of a planet
where the ocean is made of starlight.
And in the distance is another planet
that they're looking at like in the distance.
And it's really cool.
It's dope, yeah.
It's dope.
And it's just crazy.
I was talking to Dario last night
and we were talking about,
I'm sorry, I was talking to Sean last night.
We were talking about how, what's the next step, right?
Like right now everyone's like, cool,
AI is finally making videos that looks like
real shit and it's weird.
The next step is when it's indistinguishable
and they just make, you know, sex tapes out of presidents.
We already have almost that.
But you could tell it's fake still.
Sometimes.
I'm saying there's gonna come a time
where it's indistinguishable.
Yeah.
We've had deep fakes for a minute now.
Yeah, I mean, deep fakes,
like remember that one that Jordan Peele came out
and he was doing the voice of Barack Obama
with the face of Barack Obama
and saying some crazy ass shit.
But then he's like, no, this is deep fake.
Yeah.
And right now though, it takes, you know,
some computing power and some things,
but eventually it's gonna be where Joe Blow
over here on the street can just make those
and it's gonna be insane.
Yeah, Trump's getting in a lot of trouble right now
because he recently, and this, I'm not gonna get political,
but he recently shared AI photos of Taylor Swift.
Yeah.
Supporting him.
He's like, hell yeah, they love me.
She is one of the most litigious pop stars in the world.
Swifties love me.
The Swifties love me.
I see their support.
Love their support, their terrific Taylor Swift.
Oh man, if they weren't my daughter, I'd date her.
Sorry, wrong thing.
You see, you just did Theo Von's podcast.
Did she?
Yeah, Theo Von explaining to Donald Trump
what it's like to be on cocaine is fucking,
I love that so much.
Man, you feel like a fucking owl when you're doing it, homie.
That's smart, wait, you said Trump went on.
On Theo Von's podcast for an hour.
Ivanka or Donald?
Donald Trump.
Oh, cause you said she, sorry.
I thought you said she went on.
No, no, you're just high.
He stands by it.
Smoking the lucky charms.
I'm smoking the lucky charms.
So, well then, I mean, that's a good segue
into what are we smoking, and it's more like
what am I smoking because.
Yeah, and I got some more for you here.
Oh fuck yeah.
This is Motorhead.
Motorhead.
And it's 31% TTC.
31% TTC.
I had to cut out a few things there.
But.
Gonna get high.
I'm not gonna stop, sorry.
I was singing a lot earlier today.
I'm picking my karaoke jam.
I don't have any plans to do karaoke.
Oh, I was gonna say, do you have some plans
we don't know about?
No, no, no, no, no.
That's actually the description of the last video
when I made the social post for Only God Forgives.
It was like, Mike gets his hands cut off.
Austin has mommy issues.
Brendan's as quiet as Ryan Gosling is in the film.
And Andy sings way too much karaoke.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the most true thing you've ever said about this.
I love karaoke, and I think I found my new song.
See, it's weird, because I have to go higher kind of singers.
So I go like Green Day is sort of my wheelhouse.
But then I think my newest one is gonna be
Bodies by Drowning Pool.
God.
I think I can nail it.
I was singing it earlier today and I caught myself being like,
oh shit, is that me or the radio?
When I worked at a bar and it was karaoke night
and I'm working in the kitchen and I have to hear,
there's three people that came there every karaoke night,
every Sunday, I'm the only one there.
And they sing the same three songs.
Yeah, because everybody gets their song.
Terribly, terribly.
Like out of sync, this one guy sings
Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.
And when he does the screaming parts,
he sounds like a pig being ass raped
by a gaggle of silverback apes.
Fuck yeah.
And it's always out of sync.
Like it's.
Let the bodies hit the.
Which if you're there to watch once is great,
because it's funny and fun.
But if you're in the kitchen working every week
and every Sunday.
He's starting that one now.
You know what though, I see it differently.
I see it as, because you're more of a.
No, learn a new fucking song.
You're more of a bitter, hateful person than I am.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You go work there and listen to that every week.
And tell me, you'll be saying learn a new fucking song.
I learned a new karaoke song.
Let me make it clear to you, okay?
We're gonna put a certain employer
that we used to have in the corner
and just make you listen to her for two or three hours
every week, one day a week.
That's what he's saying.
I get what.
Do you remember how you felt every week
for those four hours?
Also, those people tip me like shit or not at all.
So they could go rotten hell.
And not only that,
I've gone to other bars on different karaoke nights.
They go around to every karaoke night
and sing the same fucking songs everywhere around town.
Okay, well then you know what?
That's where they lost me.
Because up until this point,
I was willing to defend them being like,
listen, they're building a weekly tradition.
These are the core memories,
the things that they're gonna treasure when they leave.
It kind of sucks that there's some guy in the kitchen
being angry at them having the best times of their lives.
Literally, you always say,
I wish we'd go back to the good times.
Those are the good times for them
was these karaoke trips, right?
As a group of friends.
But then, once you told me that they go to every bar
and do it, I mean.
I know the three songs.
You're just describing the H-word.
Symphony of Destruction, Bodies by Drowning Pool,
and You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift.
Oh man.
Oh wow.
And it's the grossest chick
that I don't wanna belong to at all.
I'll stick with short skirts and high heels.
You can keep your sneakers and be in the bleachers.
What, what does that even mean?
Those are lyrics from the songs, Andy.
And you know what I.
I thought you were literally talking about this.
Sorry, Taylor.
I have a wheelhouse of songs I sing,
and one of them is Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus.
Yours is?
That's like my go-to.
I'll sing that.
Man, thank you.
There's some kitchen worker that heard you once
that just fucking hates it.
Nah, they buy me beers
because I'm in their wheelhouse of friends.
Yeah, you know, when I go karaoke,
I tend to tip the DJ first off so that I get chosen.
That's the way to do it.
I give him a, if you give him 20 bucks up front,
he'll make sure you go every single time.
Andy gets 20 bucks, right, which is a good tip.
Maybe too much.
10 bucks will probably do the same, but yeah.
But then also, you know, he's.
I also know songs that will just get everyone
fucking pumped when they hear it.
Like the Dynamite Hat cover of Boys in the Hood.
That gets people fucking going.
That's a good one.
What else?
Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.
If they have it, usually the DJ
will have to like go on YouTube.
You know what people don't like?
Wonder Boy by Tenacious D, which I love singing.
I like that song.
I don't like singing.
I like singing the ones from the movie,
anyone from the movie that people enjoy.
I get, you know what my thing is,
the most theatrical I'll go through
when it comes to karaoke is I have this,
I have to have a friend that'll help me,
but I start off like the Tin Man in Wizard of Oz.
So I'm all like stiff and I just put the mic in front of me
and I start singing Mr. Roboto
while somebody's using a fake oil can
to increase my points and then right when it gets
to the breakdown, I do a full robot dance.
I think I caught a glimpse of that in Chloride.
No, I didn't do a full production of it
because I was put on, no one was greasing me up
like they should have been.
I didn't have an imaginary oil can,
so it just wasn't worth it.
I have three new candies with me
I'd like to share with you guys.
Okay.
Starting with this one, the worst of them all.
Okay.
This is Skittles Gummies.
Oh.
And I want you to try some of these.
That doesn't sound bad, oh that's a lot.
I'm not gonna try, literally, oh my God.
I'm so sorry.
How high are you?
Only one because it's the...
That dropped.
I'm trying to get rid of these.
No, sugar, I can't yet.
But yeah, that's how it's like really artificially.
It tastes fake as hell.
Yeah.
Not, not great.
Right?
No, it's really like, I'm not usually critical
of candy too much, but this tastes like a...
Chemical.
Plastic.
Like wax, yeah.
Yeah, like wax.
Yeah.
Flavored wax.
Not even good flavor.
But now we're moving up a notch.
That's about 30 notches up.
Reese's caramel big cup.
Yeah.
I've been wanting to try that one.
Well, you can right now.
I'm literally not gonna eat any of these.
I'm throwing them away.
Yeah, they're bad.
They're bad.
I'm sorry.
What's the W rate Skittles Gummies?
W?
Negative eight.
W, negative W.
No, no, no, no, no.
Skittles or W.
Skittles Gummies are W.
Oh, Skittles Gummies, yeah.
Yeah, no, I love Skittles, but these are not Skittles.
Oh, and they have an aftertaste that's not good.
I feel like they stained my hands.
Oh, I'm disappointed.
So now we have Reese's big cup caramel.
I'm only disappointed because I thought I was gonna see
the caramel stretch out when you broke it in half.
I get the whole one to myself because I'm great.
Okay, so it's a Reese's cup with some caramel on the bottom.
That's it.
That's good.
It's fine.
Not bad, right?
That's exactly what you would think it would taste like.
Yes, I would say it needs more caramel.
It needs to be half and half instead of 25% caramel.
No, I'm glad we're on the subject of Reese's big cup.
They didn't have any take fives, sorry.
This week I brought to work the ultimate s'more kit
for the girls, Kaylee and Ashton.
And what it is, Austin, is I have my cinnamon graham crackers
and I bought the marshmallow fluff,
like the JetPuff marshmallow fluff that's in a can
or whatever, and I smeared it on the graham crackers
until it had like a nice thick thing of marshmallow
and then I took a blow torch and I blow torched
the marshmallow until it was like campfire s'mores level
and then I put a Reese's cup right in the middle,
melted the Reese's cup a little bit from a distance
so it didn't burn the chocolate, and then smushed it together
and it's a Reese's s'more.
Reese's s'more butane sandwich.
Butane, you don't really taste the butane.
Maybe I don't, I don't really have that much of a taste,
or sense of taste.
Does the story get better?
I'm just kidding.
No, it doesn't, it was just a hack for people at home.
Sorry Austin, you're the one that brought food
to a podcast where we can't, but we've done this before,
so who am I saying?
And now this is the Cudi Grah.
Give me very little.
These are nerds gummy clusters.
Oh God, okay just, yeah.
Which are fucking awesome.
These are great, I love these dude, it tastes so good.
It looks like a gummy, and then they put something
on the outside of it so they can dip it in nerds,
and coat it in nerds.
Yeah.
But what shape is the gummy?
I don't know, probably a sphere.
I think it's shaped like a nerve.
Mm-hmm.
Oh those are awesome.
It's shaped like a big nerve.
Those are pretty good.
Yeah I know.
That's a good combination.
I can't wait to poop this.
I'll be right back, I'm gonna wash my hands.
We'll be right back.
Rainbow poop.
Mike what's going on with you, buddy?
It's crazy how much the candy, what's going on with me?
A lot of watching this week.
Yeah.
Jeez, it was insane, I sat down to watch,
because I watched our movie Boondock Saints,
and then we decided we were doing as a double feature,
we're doing Boondock Saints 2.
You have to watch that.
We're doing Boondock Saints 2.
Do you have trouble finding the second one?
All Saints Day I had to, yeah I got it.
I bought mine on YouTube.
Yeah I bought it too.
And then, and then,
I got kind of into the backstory of it,
and then I watched the, there's also a documentary
about the dude that made these,
and kind of what the fuck up he is.
Troy Duffy.
Yeah.
It was actually kind of an interesting documentary,
but not very well done, but interesting, seeing all that.
Well here's the good news,
they greenlit Boondock Saints 3,
so we have that to look forward to,
if you're a fan.
Everyone likes to hate on the sequel,
because it's not as good as the first,
but going back and rewatching the first,
I realized how great it was, like for-
Oh my God.
We are not gonna agree on this movie, which is okay.
But the third one, Duffy's not directing.
Well okay, so let's get into the movies then.
Well first off, the movies that we're watching,
yeah so we're just gonna start off,
Boondock Saints and Boondock Saints 2,
this was a Brennan pic.
Who he's not here before.
Who he's not here.
He didn't show up, great.
So-
He got tied to a chair in a basement
and shot by a Russian guy.
Yeah, but he's gonna be back for the sequel.
Sort of.
Okay, so let's get into it.
Boondock Saints number one,
was one of those movies that when I watched as a kid,
I absolutely fucking loved it,
or like a teen I guess when he came out.
No kid.
The thing is, I loved it so much,
I wanted to get one of those tattoos on my hand.
The Veritas or Aquatus or whatever it is,
you know, on their hands.
I thought that was the coolest tattoo.
I actually know someone who got one half of the tattoo
as Buddy got the other one.
And I'm like, that's cool,
I hope they stay friends forever,
because if they ever have a falling out.
That's a tough explanation.
Well, it's just a reminder,
every time you look at your hand,
you're like, oh, I fucking hate that guy or something.
You just have someone else get the tattoo.
What's that?
You just have somebody else get the tattoo,
whoever your new friend is.
Oh yeah, you get your wife or something.
You just replace it.
It's not like you have to look at his tattoo every day.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a good, yeah, smart, you just fixed it.
So if you do ever have a falling out,
Keith, go ahead and do that.
So, now we're,
now I'm watching it from a lens,
if I haven't seen it probably,
maybe 10 years, maybe.
It's been a while.
It's not a movie I re-watch all the time.
Because I wanted to kind of keep some of that,
you know, powerful sort of whatever to it.
But I have seen it in a different light now.
I've seen it in a much more kind of a harsher light
than I did before,
because this movie,
I don't think holds up as much as I thought it did.
Well, it is an indie film,
so you gotta remember that.
I, yeah, it's not really in the budget, actually.
I'm going to wave my flag on top of a hill for this movie.
That's fine.
And I watched it, and I have some criticisms about it too.
We'll get down.
I wrote a full page of notes for this one
and two pages of notes for the second one.
Okay, well.
I think we're both,
or all three of us are gonna agree on the second movie.
I'm pretty sure we're gonna both all agree
on the second one.
Yeah, I'm sure we will.
But the interesting part to me is there's parts
of the second movie that are better than the first movie.
Parts.
Well, I love- Well, actually just one thing.
The dialogue's better in the second movie.
That's it.
Other than that.
No, actually, I, man, we're gonna,
this is gonna be a weird one because I actually liked her
better than Willem Dafoe, and I liked her crime.
You know what I see when I see Willem Dafoe
in the first one?
I see Mike going, he's chewing up the scenery.
He's basically chewing up the scenery.
Oh, you mean- Willem Dafoe's Paul Smekker.
Chews the scenery with gusto is what I wrote.
You'd think he was auditioning
for Roland Drag Queen pageant.
He makes Nicolas Cage look like a master of subtlety.
Although- He's insane in that,
but that's just Willem Dafoe.
Yeah.
God, but then the thing is,
I think when he goes full crazy,
I think he's acting better than when he's going less,
when he's trying to just be,
like when he's out there and he goes,
it was a firefight!
I'm like, that was fucking dope.
I actually really liked that.
Yeah, I was like, that's a cool,
that's a very cool scene.
But when he's being sassy to the boys
and to like, well, now I'm gonna want some coffee
with my bagel, you know, like stuff like that.
I don't, I get that he's gay.
No problem with that.
He's the manliest gay ever, too.
Yeah, just using gay slurs throughout the whole thing.
Yeah, it's like, I'm so manly, I fuck men in the ass.
I'm not even gay.
I just, I fucking just, brr!
But then they reverse that every time you see him
talk to the other detective guys.
And I know, okay, we're gonna have some things to say,
but okay, so we start-
I don't think anyone knows that he's gay either.
Oh, I think the three detective guys might guess,
because like the way he-
No, they thought he was dead in the second movie.
They didn't know shit.
They weren't that close to him.
Second movie.
I don't even think-
Yeah, because he came from the outside.
They didn't even know him.
Yeah, no, but they team up at the end.
At the end, but I'm saying they don't really know him.
He comes from, he's FBI.
I don't even think the boys knew.
I don't even think the boys knew he was in drag
when he went to go rescue him
in the end of the first one.
Did they even see him there?
No, I don't think so.
Did he just, will the foe just fucking kill the guy?
Too far, too far, too far, and then he like, and then he-
But you know the funniest part about that
is when their dad, El Duce, knocks Willem Dafoe
and drag out, and his rules about his job
were no women, no children.
He saw Willem Dafoe dressed as a woman,
was like, oh, that's a woman, I better knock her out.
Otherwise, he would have fucking killed him, dude.
Oh, shit, that's interesting.
I didn't think about that.
Okay, so we start with the coolest,
okay, so we start-
I was gonna say coolest.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
We start with the boys in church,
and we're gonna just keep referring to the two guys
as the boys, the brothers, the boys.
Connor and Murphy, yeah.
Connor and Murphy.
So they're at church, they're wearing identical crucifixes,
identical black jackets, identical jeans, right?
They dress the same, and they do the rudest shit
I've ever seen in my life.
They just walk, while the pastor's talking,
he's like, all right, thanks for coming here,
you know, guest pastor, all right,
now let's get into our sermon.
They just walk past him.
They don't even stay the whole mess.
Oh, and they have work, I guess,
but they come in, they kiss the statue of Jesus,
and they bounce.
They're not allowed to.
You see that from the guest pastor guy, the priest guy.
He's like, fuck, the other one's like,
no, no, no, no, just let them, they're-
Okay, so my question, my,
I guess my first question right off the bat is,
why do they get that much initial respect
from the Catholic church?
Well, from the word around the neighborhood is,
they're angels.
Why?
Everyone in their neighborhood loves them.
I don't know.
Why though?
They're good guys.
They're just-
They're good hoodlums.
That's what they try to sell.
They're really good dudes.
They're-
They're not hoodlums.
Devoted to their faith.
Oh no, but they're not bad guys.
They don't steal, they don't, they fight,
but they don't-
They're intelligent, they speak a bunch of languages.
But, okay, I get that, but they're like,
they're not even delinquents.
They're like, they're not even painted as delinquents.
I think we only see them as rough,
we see them as rough and tumble.
We see them at work, everything,
even when they get into the fight with that chick
or whatever, she's the one that overreacted.
Cause he just said, well, that's the rule of thumb
around here.
And she's like, rule of thumb, that's-
And then I wonder how many people,
one of my notes is, how many people learned
the rule of thumb from Boondock Saints?
That you were legally allowed to beat your wife
as long as it was more thicker than your thumb.
He's like, you should call it the rule of wrist.
Which is a funny reply.
But when she hits him, when she kicks him in the nuts,
fully justified to have the brother punch, like,
punch her, right?
Like a hundred percent.
I think if anyone attacks anybody,
you're allowed to use physical force to restrain that person
or to stop that person from attacking someone.
I don't care who they are.
I really don't.
If I see an old woman beating on some homeless guy
that, you know, like, whatever,
I'll knock her ass out.
I don't care.
Crescent kick that bitch.
Yeah.
So I actually, yeah, I get that they're nice guys
around the neighborhood.
I don't think that any Catholic church would allow someone
to interrupt mass to go up and kiss the feet
of the Jesus section.
It was a Lutheran church.
So you're good.
Okay, yeah.
You pointed that out earlier this week.
So there's a lot of inconsistencies
with how this was filmed.
So it's a Lutheran church for one.
They go to their home,
which is just a room in a big building
with a bunch of showers and then a toilet
facing all those showers.
Which whenever that building was functional
as whatever it was, that'd be weird taking a shower
and looking at just a row of dicks right in front of you.
Yeah.
Yeah, it looked like a prison shower.
Yeah, I wonder what kind of building that was.
But I mean, it's cheap.
They live in a flat.
Tenement thing, yeah.
Has everything, you know, like there's no walls.
I mean, other than the floor holding it up.
So they're very close.
You know, they've, weirdly, I didn't think about this,
but like they've seen each other naked.
They know what each other's dicks look like, right?
100% as grown men,
they have to know what each other's dicks look like.
They've been to jail together.
They've lived together with no boundaries.
They've jerked off next to each other.
They've had to.
I mean, they don't wait until the other one leaves.
We think about completely different things
when we watch movies.
I think we even see them.
I even see, I think we see them jerk off.
Remember when they're in the prison
and they both come at the same time and they go,
oh, and then God starts talking to them?
That part was weird.
Yeah.
So there's a portable, okay, so we,
what did I say?
Best hand tats ever, I like them.
I would be, okay, so one of the pranks
that one of the brothers does to the other one
is he smacks him in the face with a bloody piece of steak.
I would fucking be so pissed.
He was.
I don't care if I work at a meat packing plant
and I'm around blood, it's literally covered in blood.
Don't smack me in the face with a fucking slab of meat.
Oh yeah, you wouldn't survive a day in Boston.
Those are fucking hard, high-pitting human beings.
Yeah, no, I wouldn't want to survive a day in Boston.
I would want to visit Boston on a cushy, padded vacation
where I never have to talk to any real Bostonites.
Where I don't have to get in the mix of it
because yeah, I don't want to get in any fights
with some Bostonians.
They're dangerous.
Just like when I want to go to Detroit
and go for a walk down the street, come on.
Come on.
Who would do that?
You don't want to go to Mom's Spaghetti?
Is that a place?
That Eminem opened a restaurant,
a spaghetti place called Mom's Spaghetti.
Oh, that's fucking awesome, is it good?
Has it been shot up yet?
From what I understand, it's great.
I wonder if it's been,
what side of the tracks is it on?
Eight mile?
I would imagine it's somewhere safe
so it doesn't get shot up and robbed by his enemies.
Sure.
They opened it and he was serving.
His enemy is what, Machine Gun Kelly?
Machine Gun Kelly shows up.
Cleveland.
So we, the rule of thumb, and then, okay.
So the boys go to a bar after work, right?
The Russian guys show up,
they get in this big fucking fight.
Oh.
Fuckin' ass.
Before that happens, before any of that,
if you listen every single time
that a joke is said in that bar and they start laughing,
you hear that same whistly laugh.
You know who it is?
I have no idea who it is.
Is it the director?
No, on the far right, there's a guy in that scene
who's, I don't even know his name,
but then he was later in a bunch of other stuff.
He's got long hair.
There's a long-haired guy with a goatee in that scene
that is in a thousand other things.
That's who it is.
Yeah, it's just the same.
Yeah.
Like, you hear that, like, every single time they laugh,
like at least four times, and you can't help,
I couldn't help but hear it when I was watching this.
Like, four different times, they just hit,
they hit that button on the soundboard, the wheezy laugh.
The wheezy, whistly laugh.
I didn't catch it.
I like that they beat the shit.
So, I like that, and then we find,
I would say what makes these movies special
is the format of, we see the fight,
and then we see the aftermath of what happened next.
Right.
And the first time you watch it,
the first time you watch it, you see the Russian guys,
you know, maybe you don't even know it's those Russian guys.
It sort of just feels like a cut to like a crime scene.
You're thinking, how is this gonna tie together?
Blah, blah, blah.
Then when you find out,
then when they show you what happens, it's really cool.
That was a great idea from the director.
That was like one of those like, this guy, whoever,
he didn't direct much else after this.
He did two, he might do,
I don't think he's getting part of three,
but that was a smart fucking move.
I liked that.
I really think that was a good directing choice.
Yeah, it's almost a call and response.
Yeah.
But it was, yeah.
And I like that, I like that, yeah.
And I like that they do this for each movie,
and I like that they do it for every big event.
So we meet Willem Dafoe's character.
He's very, I mean, I think he's blatantly gay,
but you guys say that not so much,
but he definitely sassily projecting
an era of masculine, like-
Some big gay energy.
Big gay energy, and I love it.
But he pulls out a portable CD player,
puts on some classical music,
and then just starts dancing around.
Now, but first he humiliates the three detectives.
Yeah.
Now, those three detectives in this movie are,
I guess you could say incompetent,
but at the same time, their theories aren't bad.
Like when the guy comes in, he goes,
yeah, he got hit by a big, big dude or whatever.
Like-
Some huge freaking boy.
Yeah, some huge freaking guy.
They're not like, I guess they're just sort of speculating.
They weren't saying like, set in stone,
this is what happened, write the report.
He's just taking a stab at it.
Like with some evidence,
they might've found the bullet, whatever, right?
So Willem Dafoe's a bit of an asshole,
but he's also, I guess he's a special agent.
He's for the FBI, so he's better trained.
So like, he comes in.
That's like if a college professor
went into an elementary school
to help with teach kids something,
and then got like, and then just started
making the elementary school teacher look like an asshole
because she doesn't know quantum theory mechanics.
And he goes home and fucks a bunch of dudes
and calls them queers.
What they're doing though is trying to show Willem
as a, Dafoe as a, like a savant.
Yeah, no, I-
Yeah, that's kind of how they're trying to play it off.
Like no one else would see all this, but this guy.
I didn't actually, okay, I get that that would be the take
that they're going for, 100%.
I see that that's the vibe.
But again, and I might've even thought
that my first watch through,
but now coming back to it years later,
I'm looking at this and I'm going,
no, he's just being kind of a dick.
Like there's nicer ways to be a savant.
Like you could just literally be like,
oh, okay, I validate your theory.
I have an alternative theory.
Here it is.
I think this is what happened.
Let's go check the bullet casing over there.
You don't have to go get me a coffee
to embarrass you, to put you in your place.
Like that is over the top.
That makes me dislike Willem Dafoe's character.
However, that's how, that's realistic though,
is what I'm saying is that if you've ever met people like this.
You're supposed to not like him in the beginning.
You're supposed to not like them.
It's the same thing.
If you meet a savant in real life, you will not like them.
It's the same thing within the second movie
about when Eunice Bloom shows up,
you're not supposed to like her.
And then you realize she's in on it the whole time.
They're kind of rehashed.
They kind of do the Star Wars effect
where the sequel trilogy kind of copies the original trilogy.
It's just new, that's the same thing they did
with Boondock Saints 2.
They just kind of took that same formula.
The first time they go shoot somebody up,
they get into a fight and they fall
and then they kill everybody.
It's the same thing.
Yeah.
The same, even when they meet the Mexican guy,
they act like they're gonna kill him like Rocco
when they do their first bus.
Yeah, Mexican Rocco, yeah.
It's the same.
But then, okay.
But okay, this is where I,
I'm gonna disagree a little bit here.
And then at the end, they lose somebody
and the first one is Rocco, then it was their dad.
I agree with you that it's rehashed.
I'm not even disagreeing with that.
It's definitely taking beats from the first movie
and it's rehashing and we can go over that
in the second movie.
But what I disagree with is that I don't think
that she's unlikeable in the beginning.
I, no, no, the way that she, who?
Dad, they're all worried they're gonna get busted
that she doesn't know Paul Smith
and she doesn't know what they did.
I'm gonna grab your face and shove it in my crotch
and then you tell me I'm not unlikeable.
She didn't, she told him to get, first off,
God, okay, you guys are really.
And she's a bitch.
This matter falls under one- Face forward.
jurisdiction.
I'll fucking say it does.
Listen, okay, she walks in, the three of them immediately
make a plan to ice her out.
They start acting like assholes to her, right?
She then- Why though?
They start cussing to her and she says,
okay, I didn't know we were going immediately
to fucking propanity.
Like they brought that up.
So then if she starts being a little bit aggressive back,
that's on them for starting it.
That's three versus one.
And you can tell one of them is like,
he's openly gawking at her in a sexual manner,
like checking her out and stuff.
So yeah, she takes advantage of that,
eliminates the awkward tension by putting him on his knees
and doing a demonstration.
She power moved them.
I don't think that's- It was definitely a power move.
But I don't think that makes- No, no,
there's no doubt it's a power move.
Who is she unlikeable to?
To the audience?
I don't think so.
To those three men, maybe,
but I'm not rooting for those three stooges
in the second movie,
because they're not the same characters
that they are in the first movie.
First movie, there are three detectives
trying to solve crimes.
And then in the second movie, when they're in on it,
there are three bumbling fucking fools the whole time.
And they're just slapstick.
That's when it's basically slapstick.
Every time I saw them, in my mind,
I just saw them going,
nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, nyeh,
and trying to like, you know,
poke each other in the eyes and shit.
I didn't hear a word they said
because of all this fucking nonsense.
She was the only competent person on the police force.
So we get, they go to jail.
Well, everyone's looking for the two guys
that killed these guys. They turn themselves in
after they do the pull the toilet out of the ground
aneurysm phase. Oh yeah, we do see that cool,
they'll do anything for each other.
And yeah.
And you could see the Indy in that
because when he talks about like shooting the gun
into the dumpster and like where it's supposed to happen,
he's like aiming totally away from the dumpster
when it fires.
Oh, in the movie, like in the cut flashback.
The second guy that he lands on with his feet,
he's pointing the right way when he shoots and everything.
There's some things you just can't, you know, nail.
I don't even care about the editing
or the quality of the movie because like there's some,
I mean, there's some like, yeah,
that scene where they fall through the vent
and shoot everybody is silly, like in hindsight.
But oh, my biggest critique,
this is one of those things, like I do it all the time.
I won't go full set right now,
but I'm willing to believe blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
What I'm not willing to believe
is that they're able to walk into a gun shop,
hand the guy two pistols they found
and then have free rein of the entire gun store.
He's an IRA guy.
Yeah, but they're not IRA.
They're not doing anything for the IRA.
They're not furthering the cause of the IRA.
Why would the IRA give them free rein of their weapons?
Yeah, they would never.
They would never do that.
Because first of all, I'll tell you something else.
Those boys cannot be IRA because they drink the wrong whiskey.
Well, I'm not saying they're IRA,
I'm saying the guy is IRA.
Mike brought this up.
They're not even Irish.
I mean, they are Irish though.
No, they're not.
They're not, seriously, in Ireland, they would be thrown out.
No, I mean, the director made a mistake
giving them the wrong whiskey, but they are Irish.
In the movie, right?
Yeah.
Mike has a thing where it's just like, yeah.
It's annoying.
That's one of those annoying things.
If they were to drink this whiskey,
people in Ireland would hate them for it.
Hate them.
I would argue. What a passion.
I would argue.
What's the wrong whiskey and what's the right whiskey?
Well, Jameson's the right whiskey if you're Irish.
But then at the same time.
Not British whiskey, which is what they're drinking.
But Mike.
Now that makes a little more sense.
Let me say this real quick.
I'm gonna argue with you just a moment.
Okay.
Well, no, just, I disagree in the sense
that anyone's allowed to drink whatever they want.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There's no argument for that.
I can go to a bar and drink tequila.
I'm not Mexican.
I can go to the bar and I can drink vodka.
I'm not Russian.
I can go to the bar and drink Jameson.
I'm not Irish.
I can also drink the whiskey they drink
and I'm not British.
Them being Irish and living in Boston
allows them the same freedom as any other American
to drink any alcohol they want.
I don't care if other people in Irish
typically drink Jameson.
If they like the taste of the British whiskey better.
I have a friend that drinks nothing but Kessler.
Kessler's one of the bottom tier whiskies in the world
and he drinks it exclusively.
He calls his man cave the Kessler Cove.
That is his choice.
And you know what?
I like Kessler because of it.
Okay.
So what you're saying is if we were at war with Russia,
you would go buy Russian vodka instead of American vodka,
if that was the case.
Who's at war?
We weren't at war with Irish.
The Irish and the British forever.
That's the point.
It has nothing to do with anything.
We're in like $15 trillion debt to China
and everything that we're holding in our hands even
is made in China.
You're talking about us.
You're not talking, I'm talking about Irish people.
I'm talking about the-
Yeah, the Irish hate the British
because of the famine and all that.
And they took their land and blah, blah, blah.
I wouldn't let them practice their religion.
But I also do think that they would never eat then like a,
but think about this then.
What foods originated from Britain
that would be like if an Irish person were to eat it-
Beans on toast.
This is not my rule.
This is the Irish people's rule.
I don't give a shit what they drink.
What I'm saying to you is I don't think it's,
I don't think it's every Irish person.
I think it's heavy drinkers in Ireland
who exclusively are Jameson fanboys
might hate on this movie for them drinking
the wrong whiskeys, what I'm saying.
That's all I'm saying.
I agree that if they wanted to sell them as-
I'm telling you that if you go walk
through the streets of Dublin-
I've been to Dublin.
Okay.
Everyone's drinking Jameson.
Right.
Not everyone was dreaming.
They had other whiskeys on tap or there.
It wasn't every bar I went to was only Jameson bottles, Mike.
There was Jameson and then probably 20 other whiskeys
that you could choose from in Dublin is what I'm saying.
I'm aware of that.
So then are you saying those other whiskeys
aren't being drinking because they're only drinking Jameson?
That's what you're kind of-
Okay, whatever.
It's whatever.
Andy, you're arguing just to argue
because the point of the matter is it's not what I say.
It's what they say.
It's a good eagle-eyed point to make.
Hey, they're Irish and they're drinking a British whiskey.
Oh, we get it.
Moving on.
Okay. Exactly.
They turn themselves in.
Rotating interrogation made me insanely dizzy.
When he's talking, when he's,
when Smekker's interviewing the boys
and getting their story of what happens.
Oh, that was cool.
The entire time the camera is just circling around them,
circling around them.
That's cool.
The entire, no, it made me dizzy at the end.
I liked the different languages that they had.
Oh yeah, no, what they say and everything.
If it was just a static camera angle,
I would have been much happier.
But I mean, it was interesting that we,
we'd never get any explanation as to why they're,
why they can speak so many languages
or why they're so smart or anything.
My mother insisted on it, is what he said.
Is that what they said?
Yes.
This is what happens when you watch things
at normal speed, Andy.
I watched this at normal speed.
Good.
I watched both of them at normal speed
because I wanted to, yeah, so I don't know.
Were you putting stickers on this table
while you were watching it?
No, that was during Tales from the Crypt.
Every episode of Tales from the Crypt.
We get, so we cut to.
Ron Jeremy saying the N-word.
Ron Jeremy, and Ron Jeremy,
I saw it in a Nine Inch Nails concert once in real life.
He was going through the same entrance
that I was going through.
And he was probably 15 feet away from me.
And I yelled out.
Rapist.
I yelled out, hey Ron, nice dick bro.
You know, like, you know, just being funny
because he's got a huge dick and he's a porn star.
But the problem was, is that right when I yelled it out,
and I yelled it because it was very loud at the moment,
everyone quiet.
It was like a, like all, it was a Nine Inch Nails concert,
but there were children there.
There were a lot of like older people.
And all of them just at that moment,
right before I yelled,
collectively decided to just take a moment to just quiet up.
And then I, and just, so everyone heard,
hundreds of people heard me yell out,
nice dick.
And he looked at me and he even thought it was embarrassing.
And he just gave me like a sheepish, like,
like look or whatever and like walked away.
And I felt like an asshole.
So that's the one time I saw Ron Jeremy and,
and you said that he has a nice dick,
which is the thing he used to rape people,
which is what he got arrested for.
This was also, how, when did that news come out?
Because this was 10, 12 years ago.
Recently.
Okay, so at the time,
But it's not like he did it recently.
It's like he did probably did it around that time.
It sounded like he wanted his dick.
Yeah, maybe.
Well, no, not that I wanted it, just a compliment.
I would also say, you know,
He got off the hook because he's like basically retarded
as that's his whole thing.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, he couldn't, couldn't stay in trial.
But you bring up a good point.
If Mike in the eighties went to a Michael Jackson concert
and previously to that had seen Michael Jackson
on the McDonald's commercial,
doing some like games with kids or whatever.
And then he happened to take that moment
to yell out to Michael,
Michael, you're great with kids.
And then later on in life,
we gave him a hard time about it
is a little ridiculous, right?
Cause like, I can tell Ron Jeremy's got a nice dick
before finding out he's a rapist.
Cause then if I, if I knew he was a rapist,
I'd be like, hey, Ron, nice dick, bro.
Don't rape anyone though with it.
You know, you fucking monster.
I bet you he doesn't rape.
But yeah, we get a, yeah.
And that scene, we get a rapist saying the N word.
So that's cool.
Yeah.
That's a fun note to write down in the notebook.
You literally wrote,
Ron Jeremy N word. I was trying to find things.
I didn't even have to watch the movie.
Which is two weeks in a row of N word.
Yeah.
Last week it was yellow N word.
No, that's true.
Yeah, that was N word.
What movie did we watch last week?
Only God Forgives.
Oh, yeah.
So we get the, we get a joke that I've told a thousand times
but I've told it the way that-
Is not as racist.
Not as racist.
And I always tell it as the perspective
of jokes from movies.
It's not a joke that I'll bring up.
But anytime anyone says like,
have you, like when you,
like there's a Tarantino joke from,
from Dusk Till Dawn about a guy in a bar.
This one you could do an edited version of.
There's, it's just fascinating when a director puts a full
like joke in a movie where it's a character
actually telling a joke.
Cause that's not what movies are for.
You're supposed to show the humor.
It's like actually having someone stand there
and tell a joke is uncomfortable.
It's weird.
And they're, but it's a funny joke.
If you, if you look at it from the context of life.
It's so old.
It's like what's faster than a black guy running
with your TV, his brother with your VCR.
Sure.
Like just all those stupid fucking-
Those old racist jokes.
That's just so goddamn racist.
Why don't we have more white racist jokes though?
Like, like what do you call a bunch of white guys
in a pool or something?
You just watch any black comedian ever.
They're the best roasters in the world.
And they do the, I like when they do the,
the white guy voice.
Oh yeah.
And they're like, well, I gotta go do my taxes.
Hmm.
We do sound like that though.
Little bit.
Oh, there's a good one.
Recently Shane Gillis did that thing.
He's like, like Jackie Robinson,
just slamming racism out of baseball.
He's like, that was back when white people were like,
meh.
Meh.
That was the peak cool of white people.
Oh, and then I think it was, what was it?
When the, what shade, when did they go from,
yeah, see to, yeah, all right.
He's like, oh, we got, we got old Curly.
He's a 47 year old alcoholic and up to the bat, meh,
from the Negro league.
And he's going and fuck home run.
All right, all right.
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
So-
I don't know how we got there.
I don't either.
We get the first shoot them up where they,
yeah, they get tied up and they fall through the vent.
Well, we get the IRA transaction.
So the guy-
So we're back to that shit again.
I get what you were saying.
The guy that they get the guns from is an IRA guy.
Visually, yes.
Maybe that doesn't, you know,
they could have just used the money
and got silencers for the gun they already had,
the guns they already had, but they just,
it's just to like, okay, you know,
we're gearing up for this.
I don't know, because the second movie,
also the guy just hates-
Money differences then too.
No, but from what I saw, they literally come in,
they hand him like a little wad of cash, two guns,
and the guy opens up his-
And some jewelry.
And some jewelry, but the guy opens up his,
but it gave him about, let's say two grand.
Like I'm being real generous with two grand.
Isn't Il Dolce pretty much portrayed as IRA though?
They're bothering.
Well, no, we find out in the second movie
that he's not IRA.
He's just a,
he's the guy that the mafia sends to kill other mafia guys,
which is different than IRA, because IRA is-
IRA is-
He's John McWick.
It's kind of all tied together.
Well, no, no, I would say IRA is more violent antifa.
If you were to take like what we have as antifa,
where it's like the protest, but like terroristic antifa,
like where they really are blowing shit up and stuff.
Yeah, but they're considered mob.
The IRA is considered mob in IRA.
Wait, which mob?
Mafia, they're the Irish mafia.
That's-
I think there's an Irish mafia.
And then I think-
Right, I'm saying they're tied together.
I'm not saying they're the same thing.
They might work together.
They work together.
That's what I was getting at.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm getting at it.
Because I know IRA is like-
They're tied together.
They're not necessarily, it's like,
kind of like the FBI and the mafia here.
Oh shit, I mean, you're making some claims there.
I would hope that the mafia and the FBI are working together.
So after this-
You ever heard of JFK?
So I get it, yeah.
The-
No politics on the show, Mike.
The amount of money and jewelry and stuff
probably didn't equal to two guns and some rope.
Okay, fine.
I'll sit with you there.
They picked up silence.
Okay, sure, fine, yeah, okay.
They did, I think they got a great deal from this guy.
They didn't walk out-
Movie magic, right.
They didn't walk out with a fucking rail gun or some shit.
But I think it was when he said, help yourself.
And they kind of, they were picking up,
he did sort of jump on a machine gun for a moment.
Oh, by the way.
That's all you-
He's pulling out the gun.
You know, when you were in the bathroom,
we were gonna, I was gonna go around the corner
and just nail you when you came out of the bathroom.
And I was like, do you realize the argument
that would ensue after this?
What if that was a real gun
that was just disguised as a fake gun?
Now do you know what?
Look how cool this is, okay?
So first off, the bullets, the actual shell casings,
you have to load the little orange tip into the brass bit,
right?
So when you shoot it, no, look at the gun first.
Oh, hold on.
Shell casing pops out.
Now look over there, the orange guy comes out.
That's cool.
That's sick as fuck, isn't it?
That is cool, yeah.
I got this on Tmoo for like four bucks.
It's fucking awesome.
It like, the shell, so that if you're listening at home,
which of course, but in the shell casing,
it has a little brass shell that you put an orange tip in
that's spring loaded.
And then on the back, it has a little depressor thing,
like an actual bullet that pops the thing out.
And so when the thing ejects, the bullet flies out.
Super fucking cool.
One of the coolest Tmoo purchases I've ever bought.
Love it.
Okay.
And did you watch this movie and instantly order that
or did you order it before the movie?
No, Tmoo tricked me with a promotion and I had to order
over 50 bucks in order to get some fish food, Michael,
because I'm that fucking just broken inside
that Tmoo's allowed to run a fucking train on me.
And I have no fucking anything.
No control.
I have no control.
Tmoo's just running my fucking life.
I'm a, talk about porn stars.
I'm just one of those just broken, beaten,
just fucked bitches.
Just that Tmoo's just running a train on me
with his fucking right behind it, his wish.
Yeah, that's just a bunch of knockoff dicks in my,
okay, anyway.
Oh yeah, so then.
We get our first shoot them up moment.
Got it.
That's what this whole movie is.
It's just a big shoot them up thing.
It's a big shoot them up thing.
I think they upgrade their jackets too.
I think the clothes they were wearing in the,
because their apartment gets trashed.
I didn't think they had a lot of clothes to begin with.
But I think when Rocco shows up with clothes,
I think he went and bought them new jackets.
I think he's like, I know how they dress.
I'll go get them like their black trench coats thingies
and the jeans.
Because when he went to the police,
no, we missed their,
we didn't talk about them having their God orgasm
when they're in jail.
So when they're in jail, they're both,
it's raining, I guess there's dripping.
Nobody, nobody.
Yeah, that whole thing.
Yeah, that leaky ass jail cell.
Yeah, leaky jail cell.
And then the two brothers wake up simultaneously,
which I don't buy.
What the fuck, dude?
I don't, what?
My fucking watch keeps going off saying
that the time zone changed.
And it's gone off like eight times
since we started this fucking podcast.
You're picking up the Nevada,
take off your watch or maybe ignore it.
Okay, shut the fuck up Austin.
I get it, fucking Christ.
I have a funny story about this movie in my actual life.
I was like, I saw this movie like first when I was like a kid
and I thought it was tits as fuck.
And I got my own copy.
I was watching it in my living room,
my mom's living room alone.
She was like gone somewhere.
It was just me at home alone watching Boondocks
and just having a grand old time.
And after this first shoot them up scene
where they kill those guys and it plays the music
when they're putting the pennies in their eyes and shit
and it's all, I get a knock at the door
about five minutes after that scene.
It's the police.
My neighbor had called the police on me for loud,
just for a disturbance.
Not because they thought a shoot them up
was happening next door.
No, they're just like, it's fucking loud.
Tell them to shut up.
They couldn't do themselves.
They had to go call crime fighters from fighting crime
to tell a guy to turn his TV down
instead of just knocking on the door and saying,
hey, could you turn that down please?
I can hear it in my apartment.
And I would have said, oh, okay, I'm sorry.
I'm watching a great movie, Boondocks Saints.
I get it.
And the cop, I'm like, oh, I'm just watching a movie.
Cop comes in, he's like, oh, Boondocks Saints.
No wonder it was so loud.
He came into your home?
I invited him, I'm like, I'm just watching TV.
Like, does this really sound that loud?
And he's like, oh, it's Boondocks Saints.
No wonder it's loud.
Just turned down a little bit.
Good movie though.
He's like, oh, I love this movie.
It seems like a movie a cop would like.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Well, yeah, no, my cop friend loves Boondocks Saints.
He's like a cop.
I like how you became my lawyer for a second.
You were like, you let him in your home?
Yeah.
Never.
They don't have a fucking warrant.
You don't let him come inside.
The Corona Police Department actually,
we had a raccoon problem in our house.
They were living in the crawl space
or the attic or something.
And I was in the backyard and I saw them crawling up there.
And I guess my neighbor heard me and my brother talking.
He's like, why don't we just get a fucking BB gun
and shoot them or some shit?
Like I was just, I was like, why can't we?
I wasn't saying we were going to.
And my neighbor called the police on us.
And it was just me by myself.
And they were like, you know, we got a call saying
someone had a gun here and was gonna shoot a raccoon.
I'm like, no, that's not true at all.
And they literally just walked in the house
and just started searching for shit, like illegally.
Oh.
And then they found an old bottle rocket
I lit off a long time ago.
And like, oh, what's this?
The old bottle rocket.
Like you mean some trash in my backyard that you found?
Like they literally went through our shit.
They went looking under my bed, in drawers, in cabinets.
No search warrant, nothing.
They just came over and said,
we got a call saying someone had a gun
and was gonna shoot a raccoon.
And then they searched the house.
And I was like, that's not true.
And he literally swore at me.
I was a child.
And he was like, you're the worst fucking liar, dude.
And then they just walked into the house,
started tearing shit up, searching for shit.
Didn't find, they found an old BB gun
in an, that I didn't even know we had.
It was my dad's, like from his dad's old BB gun.
And they, like, you had no right.
Even if something was true, you had to go come back
with a warrant, I wish I could go back in time
and sue them for doing that.
Bro, I'd say, okay.
So very, you got way more violated than I did.
But same, same vibe.
I once was driving home and I,
this was when I was smoking cigarettes.
And I was flicking them out the window
because I was a fucking inconsiderate asshole.
And I admit that now, but I flicked a cigarette
out the window right in front of the cop.
Didn't see him pulled over.
He pulls me over.
He gives me a littering ticket.
And I pay it, you know, whatever.
But then a year later, okay, one year later,
two cities over at a completely different time of the day.
So when I flicked the cigarette,
it was by my house at like midnight.
When he pulled me over, it was probably 10 30
in the morning, two cities over.
He pulls me over.
I'm at a red light.
The light goes green.
I have the right away.
It's just a straight, I'm going forward.
The speed limit is 30.
I get to about 27 when the lights go on.
He pulls me over and says I was speeding.
And then he says, I recognize you.
I gave you a littering ticket a year ago.
And I was like, oh yeah, I guess I didn't recognize you.
And he's like, get out of the car.
And he's like, have you been littering?
And he could see in my-
Have you been littering?
He says, he sees, and I was like, no, look.
And he sees there's probably 20, 30 cigarettes
in my little ashtray, right?
In my car.
I was like, I've never have it.
Won't, you know, I never will again after that ticket.
Right?
You set me right.
He's like, get out of the car.
And then he puts me in cups.
He searches me, sits me on the curb,
and then just searches my entire fucking car.
Dumps my ashtray on the ground to look at it,
leaves the cigarettes there for me to pick up later.
They were really struggling for quota back then, weren't they?
Bro.
They just love traffic.
Out here, dude, fucking cops,
all they're doing is busting tweakers.
And those tweakers just roll over for it.
They're not fighting criminals that will shoot them.
Like most- Very rarely.
Most of the shootings are just a crazy guy.
It's just, it's not actual criminals that are like,
I gotta kill this cop and I'm not going back to jail.
None of that shit, dude.
It's all traffic fucking.
I know you have cop friends and they're probably listening,
but like, I'm pretty sure they agree with me.
A bunch of our cops are assholes and pussies.
I joined the force to fight crime and to stop
and to save lives, not just bust the same tweaker every week.
My cop friend who, oh, well, I'm gonna get some names,
but my cop friend has told me that like, yeah,
the traffic stops are really, he only does it
when it's like an egregious something
that needs to be stopped, right?
When he'll stop a traffic stop,
if someone does something stupid in front of him,
like if you run a red light in front of him,
like he's got to, because there's also the perception
of everyone else there.
What if I'm hitting a yellow light
and just because my back tires didn't go over the fucking,
like that stupid shit.
I get that.
There's asshole cops.
I don't think he would be one of those guys,
but what I'm saying is though,
from the perspective of everyone else at the light,
if I saw someone run a red light and there was a cop there
and he didn't go after them,
I would fucking call the city the next day and be like.
Because I'm constantly, we drive all the time
and I'm constantly like, where the fuck are the cops now
when a drunk driver's all over the road?
And they're never, never getting caught.
I mean, it's until it's too late.
So there's like literally one guy,
and it's crazy because we do,
we drive around the city all day long,
five days a week, right?
And there's this one,
it was like a silver charger or something.
And he was driving, when I say fast,
I'm talking up and down highway 95,
he was probably going 85, 90 miles an hour.
And he would, he's just zipping between truly dangerous,
unhinged, you don't fucking do this
on like a 40 mile per hour, 45 mile,
that's just way too fast.
And he eventually, and like everyone was reporting it.
I kept seeing like in the incident report,
they're like silver chargers speeding,
silver charger, red or red lights,
silver charger fucking did this.
He's riding people's asses while break checking
or whatever, like people get pissed.
And then of course gets into a fucking accident,
but I don't know how or why that did, you know,
anyway, we're getting way off track.
So they got new jackets and then they,
oh, and then he says,
I thought this was one of my notes for a second.
And I was like, why would I write this?
They just put cuddle, what a fag.
And I was like, why would I write that?
And then I realized that's,
I'm gonna put quotes around it
so that I know that that's a character said.
It was not me that said that.
Right, I know.
They kill all those guys.
I was, I write.
And then they pull that fucked up prank on Rocco.
And the thing that I liked most,
it was like a smart plot device to get Rocco
to like join them was that they sent him in
to kill six guys or five guys or something.
And they only gave him a six shooter gun.
Which I was like,
Eight guys, or no, seven guys, eight guys.
No, there were 10, or nine, nine.
He's like, there's nine, but his boss gave him
the six shooter, knowing that there was gonna be
more than six guys.
And I was like, oh fuck.
So like, that's actually like a really smart like,
plot device.
Also, if you're an asshole
and wanna get rid of your funny man,
it's also very smart.
I disagree.
I think it's the stupidest part of the movie plot wise.
Because, hear me out.
Everyone knows Rocco works for that guy.
If they sent Rocco in with not enough bullets
to get the job done.
But he had a name, he had Jafar.
Everyone knew he was Jafar.
No one would have known.
He had the name tag.
If he would have went in and potentially killed
even just all six of, he killed six of the nine guys
and the other three got him.
They would know who he was, who he worked for.
And there would be retribution.
Like, if that mafia guy really wanted to do it,
he would send like a nobody.
He would send like, he would send like a professional.
No, he is a nobody to them.
He's just a numbers runner.
Like, they wouldn't know who he is
and he would have been dead.
So they wouldn't get the information out of him.
He would have just been shot.
I feel like Rocco's got a big mouth though.
I don't feel like he's a discreet guy.
I feel like everyone knows who Rocco is
and who Rocco works for.
He is-
He wouldn't be wearing a disguise then.
He wouldn't be trying to wear a disguise.
It was a bunch of a disguise.
He put a hat on, a name tag.
He was serving them food too.
He was, that's why he's like,
they would have killed you
and because they know it was your last shot.
He's like, if I saw that,
I would have seen that there's too many of them
serving their fucking food and left.
No, no, I think that the guys there
might not have known who Rocco was.
I agree.
The big bosses, Rocco maybe could have done exactly that.
Left if it was too much or killed whoever it was, right?
But I feel like if they got him
and then they brought in some cleaners
or they brought in their guys to take care of it
or whatever, the cops didn't show up.
They would figure it out later, right.
They would feel like the identity would come out.
At some point down the line,
Rocco, the names of the victims on the room,
if the cops ever got there, would be published.
People would know, oh, Rocco, whatever.
Then you would be like, wait, why was Rocco there?
But I think what we're missing here is they want them.
That's the way the mob works.
They're making a statement.
Yeah, making a statement.
And then they pull, so first that,
that devastating thing happens to Rocco.
Then they pull the most fucked up prank ever,
making him think that he's gonna fucking die
and then it turns out it's his friends.
And then we get the funniest scene in the movie
where it was so funny to me as a kid
that I actually recorded the audio from it
on my Motorola Razr.
Oh, wow.
Fucking, what the fucking, how in the fucking,
did you two fucking fucks, fuck.
I thought it was so funny.
I'd be like, hey, listen to this,
to my fucking school friends.
Oh, did they like it?
Of course.
I think the prank is one of those,
it's weird.
Actually, that's the second funniest part of the movie.
Fight Club, there's a scene where Brad Pitt
and Edward Norton.
He punches him in the ear
and he actually hit him in the ear?
No, no, I was gonna say,
I was gonna say they go and they find a guy
at like a 7-Eleven or like a quick mark or whatever
and they pull him outside, they put a gun to his head.
Oh, and pull out his eyes and they're like.
Tell him to be a veterinarian.
Yeah, it's like, we're gonna fucking kill you right now.
What did you wanna do when you grow up?
He's like, I don't know, be a veterinarian.
It's like, why'd you stop, whatever.
And they make him go back to school.
He's like, and then with the guy,
and he's like, we know where you live, blah, blah, blah.
Did you read the book?
I did.
Is it actually, is it.
It's one of the best.
Is it a novel or a graphic novel?
It's a novel, there's a graphic novel sequel.
You get that?
So the.
What's the sequel?
There's three, there's two sequels.
Oh, sequels, it's Saint, he has a son.
So it's him and Mila Jovovich character,
they have a child together.
Mila Jovovich, isn't it?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Helen Bonham Carter or something?
Helen Bonham Carter, I get that, sorry.
The names, they both have weird names.
They have weird.
Mila Jovovich, that's Resident Evil.
Yeah, I know, I know.
So Helen, yeah, her.
Nothing else, she's not in anything else.
Just, sorry, a little bit of a spoiler,
but they have a kid, he's dealing with that,
because I can't remember.
But this is after they,
did they blow up the buildings in the end of the novel?
Is the novel different?
No, the novel's.
Frame by frame, basically?
So.
They blow up the buildings in the end.
I've always claimed,
because I watched them back to back after reading,
and I've done a lot of, I loved Fight Club a lot,
like maybe 10 years ago, it was real hard.
I always have said it's the most shot for shot,
because the novel came first, the movie came second.
The only thing that's different,
the only difference that I can remember in the book,
in movie, the only difference is,
every chapter starts with a new recipe to make napalm,
or at least every few chapters or whatever,
you get like, hey, if he makes gasoline,
equal parts gasoline and kitty litter,
you can make a homemade napalm or whatever, right?
That's how he starts it, which is like fucking awesome.
And then the scene where Ed Norton goes to the cop station
to like turn himself in,
he doesn't actually go into the station.
He, well he does, but then two cops take him outside,
and they put him in a police bus, the prisoner bus,
and the scene happens where they're trying
to cut his balls off.
He escapes by jumping out through the bus window,
and then runs away.
That's literally it.
So the only difference is like,
he goes in the police station, the movie,
and then escapes that way.
Fuck, I need to watch that movie again,
I forgot all about them cutting his balls
about to cut his balls off.
Yeah, but the reason they even bring,
sorry, the reason they even bring up Fight Club,
it wasn't just to talk about Fight Club,
as much as that's who I am as a person.
We can talk about Fight Club.
Well, we're not supposed to, but again.
We're not supposed to.
Yeah, we're not supposed to.
Yeah.
When they, after they do that thing
where they put the gun to the guy's head,
and they walk and the guy leaves scared,
Brad Pitt turns to Ed Norton,
or Ed Norton is just thinking to himself
that the next tomorrow, when that guy wakes up,
it's gonna be the best day of his entire fucking life.
Every food that he eats is gonna be the best tasting food.
The air that he breathes is gonna be the sweetest air.
He's gonna love his children, he's gonna love his wife,
and his mother and father more than he's ever loved before.
He's gonna cherish every moment of it.
So same thing with Rocko.
The boys come in, they do this prank on him.
He just experienced death.
He experienced it.
That's what it is.
I mean, he didn't actually die,
but if you know you're going to die,
that's experiencing death almost.
He felt it, so he has a very limited amount of time left
anyway, as we find out.
He dies soon.
So probably that prank made the rest of his short life
the best that it could possibly be.
So I think-
I really wish everything you just said was true,
but from experience, I can tell you it's not.
Oh yeah, because you had a heart attack.
But back to Fight Club for a second,
you know how the Chinese version of Fight Club ended?
Is that movie released in China,
and everything's the same except for the very end?
When they're, before the bombs go off,
it like cuts and then it plays,
it shows text on the screen is like,
the police got to the bombs before they exploded,
and Edward Norton turned himself into the police.
This is how it is.
That's insane.
Okay, the last thing is the DVD.
There's a special edition DVD of Fight Club that came out.
I think I have it.
When you put it in, it does its whatever.
You see a menu for Never Been Kissed
with Drew Barrymore pop up,
and then it starts breaking,
and then it turns into the Fight Club room,
like a full zoom around his, you know the catalog,
when he's looking through the catalog,
and he's picking all the things he wants.
Dude, it's so good.
It gets you.
Remember when DVD menus were good?
Oh, I love it.
That's probably the finest example of DVD menuing.
Remember DVD?
DVD menuing I've ever seen.
Dude, I have a big collection of Blu-rays
just because I like the quality,
and I like actually being able to watch it whenever I want,
but I only collect DVDs if it's like a special,
I have Boondock Saints, the actual metal tin case.
I have the Fight Club thing with all the little soap,
like it has the soap card and like all that shit in it.
I think that we are going to probably get a renaissance
of DVD menu style things, because hear me out.
What is preventing an Amazon Prime and HBO Max,
a Netflix from when you go to the page of the show
or the movie you're watching, it is in itself
an interactive DVD menu style.
They had commercials for it.
The Watchmen Blu-ray that I watched like once a year,
there's commercials for like, oh, you can watch the movie
and like switch angles.
Like they recorded it from a different angle,
you can switch to that.
They can do all that.
You can go online and there's like all this different
online interactive shit you could do with the movie.
Seriously, why is it when I open up Netflix
and there's a director's cut and a regular cut,
don't I get a menu with all that?
You know, like, yeah, that's a good idea.
Behind the scenes, the deleted scenes.
Wonder why we don't get that.
Because like that's what it should be.
Especially if you're buying a movie online,
if you bought Twisters for 20 something dollars right now
on whatever streaming.
Yeah, they can for sure do it on extras.
Fuck dude, if I bought, like buying a streaming
just feels wrong because you know you're just going to get it
for free added to the conglomerate.
Now buying a Twisters experience for 20 something dollars
where when I open it up, a Twister fucking flies shit around
and slaps the menu up on there as I'm getting ready to stream.
It's still streaming.
Right.
But it's like at least it's a little.
Yeah, you could do all that
and then have special features and all that on there.
Yeah, it would be great.
All right.
I'm a fucking genius.
You need to call Netflix actually.
This is probably a good idea.
Let's talk about the cat.
Wait, in the second movie?
I was avoiding the cat.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
Avoiding the cat.
Oh my God, is that why there's so many fucking cats
in the second one?
Isn't that why there's so many cats in the second one?
In the second one when Rocco gives him
that motivational speech,
which is a little bit dated now looking back to it.
Like it was cool to see Rocco again, got a little fat.
But when Greenlee dies in the second one
and then it like cuts and everything.
And then they're just sitting at the bar,
it's black and white.
And then Rocco comes up and pours him a couple of drinks.
You see that same cat walk by.
So it's like he's dead,
but the cat's also dead in the daydream with them.
Yes.
So that's the ghost of the cat.
That's my theory is that.
No, it is.
It's in the director setting.
He says, yeah, see the cat.
It's like a nice not remember the cat scene.
That was so funny, right?
They're all getting wasted.
And he's like, that's it.
I'm joining.
I'm done.
And he's looking and right before he slams the table
and it shoots a cat, you hear the cat go,
meow, and it dies.
It's shot.
That is one of the funnier.
And then, sorry.
And then fast forward a little later,
they very shittily wiped the blood off the wall
to where you could see.
It's just, they just wiped the blood around
and then they covered the bowl
with a little picture of the cat.
It's just so funny.
I didn't even notice that.
Yeah, dude, you go back and look at it.
There's the little shitty framed,
like crooked picture of the cat on the cover
in the bowl.
That's so funny.
I put the cat, I just put the cat, LOL.
Oh, okay.
At one start, just before the cat thing,
I think Rocco says to them, you should be in every city.
I wrote that down as a quote.
And then I put, is that a setup for two and three?
Because not necessarily two,
although two, they do recruit somebody.
So they go from a two man to a three man operation.
If you include the girl and the detectives,
then it goes from initially a two man
to Willem Dafoe three man to then the,
well, Rocco and then the Mexican guy.
So now we're at five.
You think three is gonna be like 20 people out there?
I do.
Just fucking people up.
I think three is gonna be boondocks saints in every city.
I think there's gonna be more vigilantes coming up.
We're gonna get the-
Troy Tuffy talked about this.
We're gonna get the dark night
where everyone's dressing up like Batman.
The difference is I don't wear hockey pads.
And that's, we're gonna get that.
So we're gonna get a bunch of people dressed in jeans
and black jackets running around with silencers pistols,
just killing who they think are the mafia.
And it's gonna be up for the boondocks saints
to tell like what God really wants.
About two years after the second one,
which I saw in theaters,
I was going on a nostalgia trip
because two of my favorite movies were this original movie
and a SLC punk with Matthew Willard.
And there was a James Marandino,
the director of SLC punk, started a GoFundMe
or a Kickstarter, one of the two, for SLC punk too.
And I was like really into that.
I donated to it and the movie got made and it was all right.
You know, it wasn't what I expected.
And Matthew Willard wasn't in it for some reason.
But I would imagine because he's too expensive now.
He's shaggy.
He was.
But, and then I started following Troy Duffy
and he was talking about, oh, we're gonna make a TV show.
I was like fucking sick.
And it's gonna follow the boys
because at the end of the, it's a cliffhanger.
They're in prison now.
But even the guard likes them.
Everyone likes them.
The only people that don't like them
are the bad guys, criminals.
Then it ends and it was supposed to be like they inspire,
they came back and inspired everyone
to start doing boondocks saints shit.
And either they break them out of jail
or something like that.
Like that was gonna be the whole thing for the TV show.
But it was just gonna follow one set of people
who mimic their stuff correctly.
But then that, I don't know, that fell through or something.
That was back in 2012.
Well, the problem is there's a lot of that.
I watched that, like I said,
I watched that documentary after.
What happened with all of this was honestly
that Troy Duffy's such an asshole
that he can't get anything made.
It's just like there's no,
it doesn't matter how good his ideas are,
none of it matters because nobody can fucking work with him.
Did this movie come out before Columbine
or after Columbine?
After, 97 was Columbine.
No, it came out, okay, that's what happened to this movie.
That's why this movie,
this movie made $30,000 of theaters.
It was a huge failure because of Columbine.
It only got in five theaters because they,
it happened a week,
it was due to release the week after Columbine.
Hold it.
It was gonna go white the week after Columbine
and they had to pull it because it's so parallels.
Yeah.
You know, they dress like Columbine kids even.
So it became, it got,
it didn't get put in the theaters basically at all
and then what happened was about,
it took them like a year after that to get,
they ended up, this was the,
you remember Blockbuster when they were doing their own shit?
Blockbuster released this.
Oh.
And it made-
As a straight to DVD?
Straight to DVD.
Well, it had the five theaters to release
and then about a year later,
it got it, he got it into Blockbuster on their,
that program they did where they did independent films.
And so they put it into Blockbuster,
$50 million at Blockbuster.
And none of it went to Detroit.
It went to Blockbuster.
And not one penny to Detroit.
Ooh.
Wow.
That's gotta hurt.
So he got $300,000 of origin.
Now he did sue them.
He did end up getting royalties later,
but it took him years to get the royalties.
That's why it took so long between one and two.
Probably cost him a lot too to do that.
That's how he, he didn't have the right to make the sequel
until after he sued them and got,
he got the royalties from that and he got the rights.
The fact we even got a sequel is a fucking miracle.
Yeah, it's a miracle.
The fact that companies can own people's ideas is weird.
Yeah, they sell them to them.
I hate that-
You agreed to it, it's-
Well, no, I know, I know it was like a,
but it's just a weird-
It's the system, it's the same as the music system.
It's like an entourage how
the one studio guy is like an asshole.
He's like, I'm gonna take this script
and I'm gonna put it in a fucking drawer
and it's gonna stay there forever.
And it's like a good movie script that they had
that they wanted to make.
Like fucked up shit like that does happen.
But see, I believe that more,
I believe in that more than like the idea that like a,
I also, I've been having trouble lately with like
owning like ownership of land and stuff,
like in the sense of-
Well, you never own land.
Well, the government owns it, right?
And we're just, everyone's just basically just kind of-
You're just renting it, yeah.
Renting it long-term, even some generational renting.
You need to get a permit to build on your own property
that you own, that you get taxed on.
Yeah, you get taxed, that's what I'm saying.
You keep paying property taxes forever.
It doesn't matter, you don't really own anything.
With your already, you have to pay taxes for it
with your already taxed money.
We're all just fucked.
But then there's nothing you can do about it either
because there's not a thing you can do.
You can't fight the power
because the power runs everything.
Because even if I feel like there was a strong movement to like-
It's slowly fading because with all the information,
all the access to information we have now-
People that are learning how it works is more-
Sure, but that doesn't change the fact that the government-
No, it'll take hundreds of years for it to-
Also has now-
If we don't fall.
They have access to even more information than we do, right?
They'll always have access to more information than we do.
Like we know that extraterrestrials exist.
They said that, didn't they?
How come we don't talk about the alien shit more often?
Honestly, I haven't had a single conversation
about the fact that we found fucking aliens in the last year.
There's still like JFK stuff they can't release
because they have to wait for everyone involved in it to die.
And then they could release shit.
That's like-
It's like literally yesterday.
That's what, you know that happened yesterday, right?
RFK Jr. quit the race,
endorsed Trump and Trump says,
I'm going to release everything when I get in.
Right in front of RFK Jr.
Release everything about-
About the JFK assassination.
I mean, that's a, oh God, that's a bold move.
That's a bold move.
Everyone in America wants the tea, you know,
and he's got it.
Fucking Kamala should just do the same thing she did
when he did the no tips on, no taxes on tips.
She'd be like, fucking I'll release all the JFKs.
I don't care, I'll release the JFK stuff.
I mean, that's what she should do if she wants to win
is like, just say you're going to do all the shit
that Trump said he was going to do.
Why don't politicians do that more often?
It's like, yeah, I'll do all of that.
I'll do this as well.
As well, yeah.
I won't do this.
I am all for not taxing me on my tips though.
Whoever's going to take-
I would let a politician who's-
I kind of agree with that and I kind of don't
because like tips thing, the tips thing is a trip
because like the waiter that works at the steakhouse
over there at the casino and makes $200,000 a year, right?
As a waiter.
Okay, should he not pay taxes?
Any more than the guy working 200,000 somewhere else
doesn't pay taxes?
I don't really understand the concept.
Now, if you want to say nobody under 50 grand pays taxes.
Okay, that's cool.
Why should somebody who's working as a waiter
making 50 grand not pay taxes,
but somebody who's working as a Circle K
making 35,000 should pay taxes?
That doesn't make any sense.
I see that on one hand, but on the other hand,
I also see-
You just talk your own personal greed
I'm trying to leave out.
I look at tips as it's like a bonus to your job.
Like I understand that they pay you less,
but that's the risk you take.
You can only make that if you live in a state
where you get full minimum wage.
We don't.
So it's part of your pay.
Yeah, no, no, no, but I think we gamble, right?
Our job is a gamble.
We gamble because we take the risk of getting paid less
than minimum wage to get more than minimum wage
from tips, right?
Yeah.
So we gamble it.
I think that's on us.
So you're saying that if I win 100,000 gambling
on a football, I shouldn't have to pay tax?
I feel like gambling.
I don't know.
I don't know if gambling should be taxed.
There's also a thing where it's like
the rich don't really pay as much.
It's like, I feel-
No, they don't.
That's why I said I was using an example.
That's why-
If you're making a shit ton-
I think what they should say is under 50 grand,
you don't pay tax.
If you're making a shit ton, you should be able
to fork some over.
Right, I agree.
Just in general, if you make under 50,000-
But if you're a $200,000 waiter,
you ought to pay taxes like any other $200,000 person.
That's all I was saying.
Taxes fuck everybody every year,
except rich people because they can afford it.
Because they don't even,
I love how rich people do it.
They just take loans on their shit
and don't pay taxes at all.
The world's fucked up.
So after they shoot the cat-
There was a firefighter coming up next.
They're having that talk in that alleyway.
And then Rocco fucks off.
And then Norman Reedus comes out.
And he's just like,
fuck it, last time, I'm gonna see ya.
And does that weird M&M hand gesture.
He's rapping.
I thought that was interesting.
Yeah, I think I remember that.
And then they go back to the apartment.
It flashes forward.
And Rocco's like, pack your shit.
We gotta go, we gotta get the fuck out of here.
Pack your shit.
First thing he goes for is his vinyls.
That's the vinyl collection.
This is the first thing he grabs
and starts putting in the bag.
Rocco?
Yeah, Rocco.
He starts putting vinyls in the bag.
Gotta have your tunes.
And then, where's my cat?
I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Oh yeah, the argument with the girlfriend's pretty funny.
I can't go down the street and buy a pack of smokes
without running into nine guys, you fucked.
This is such a quotable movie with your boys.
It is.
This is where you drink a bottle of Jameson
and just start reciting the movie to each other.
Or that other British whiskey.
No, no British whiskey.
Jameson's right.
What is the name of that British whiskey?
So I know not to drink it.
Bushnells.
Oh, Bushnells.
I can't remember.
Oh, I can't wait to give my Irish friend so much shit.
That's his favorite whiskey.
I'm gonna be like, you know Bushnells is a British whiskey.
I think it's Bushnells.
I don't remember for sure from the movie,
but I think it's Bushnells.
We just got more evidence that Irish people like.
But is Bushnells a British?
You know what, I bet Bushnells is the forbidden fruit
of the whiskey world to Irish drinkers.
I bet you they secretly love Bushnells,
but they'll fucking fight anybody in the street
over Jameson any day of the week.
They don't give a fuck about Jameson.
It's too expensive.
Maybe it's their version of just like,
ooh, would it be a nutty?
Like, I don't know.
Yeah.
So we cut to the big,
then we cut to a scene of Willem Dafoe and the detectives
and they're in front of, I mean, I don't know,
we're at the now, but we're at the.
No, it's the Titty Bar, right?
What?
What Titty Bar?
They go to the Titty Bar.
We get the best tit in the world, in my opinion.
Oh.
I don't like what happens to it.
That's kind of fucked up.
What Rocco does with the tit.
He grabs it, yeah.
He grabs it and he's like, I'll tip her.
I'll tip her.
How many people who work at funeral homes
grab the titty or grab a penis or something?
According to Sam Kinison, there's a lot.
That happens a lot.
Oh, is it a joke about it or just a regular?
He has a joke about the gay community
paying more guys for like time alone with bodies
and then he does this whole thing
where he lays flat on the ground and he's like,
oh, I'm dead, I guess I'm in purgatory.
Go ahead, wait, what's that?
Ah, ah, ah, ah, someone's fucking me in the ass.
Life keeps fucking you even when you're dead.
I mean, I would imagine both.
If that's true, if that's true,
that people pay like morgues money to fuck dead bodies,
which I don't realistically see being a thing.
There's so many OSHA violations that would be.
Like, I can't, we can't at work drop a pan on the floor
and then pick it up and still use it.
We have to go back and wash it.
Imagine like, even if someone came in,
it was just like, I'll pay you a thousand dollars to,
I mean, I don't know.
I got a story about that where we had this drunk guy.
He was always drunk at work
and we were really busy with pizza
and people would complain and try to get free pizza
or they'd ask for something too specific
and this guy would go, oh yeah, throw it in that.
They're definitely getting floor cheese.
Yeah.
I never, I just looked away.
I didn't know, I don't know if he ever did it,
but he's like, they're getting floor cheese on the pizza.
I don't know if I've ever told the story
of the grossest thing that's ever happened to me
when I've worked somewhere, but this, I'll tell it.
And I'm not gonna give names,
but when I worked at a restaurant,
I'm not even gonna say the name of the restaurant.
When I worked at a restaurant,
there was a moment where a customer called
and was such a raging bitch to a coworker that I had
that that coworker went to go make the food
while I had to go on the phone and talk them down
for another at least 10 minutes of real time in the store
of like trying to calm them down.
That coworker took that food, went into the back,
masturbated onto it, jizzed in the food
and then sent it to the oven.
The only reason I know about this
is because a coworker told me later,
like a day or two later,
and the only reason I didn't report it was because like,
that would have been a news, that would have been,
what'd you say?
The only reason I didn't report it
is because I needed a ride home from that guy that night.
No, but I felt like if I had reported it,
that would have been a news story.
And that would have like, you know what I mean?
And so anyway, that girl or whoever it is
could still be working today.
I have a little more innocent one.
Don't be a bitch to your, I guess, the people that work.
The place I used to work at, they had a call center
for all the to-go pickup orders and shit.
And this one lady was just, same thing,
a giant raging bitch.
And then the person at the call center types in
whatever the order is and then sends it
and then we get it on a ticket.
So we don't have anything to do with taking the order.
Got it.
So we make the difference, we make the food, we send it out.
Person calls back and says,
so what happened was the person at the call center
wrote in the notes, customer is extremely rude.
And that went to their house and they read it
and they read that and they flipped the fuck out.
We have a separate side for our notes.
In-store comments, yeah.
In-store comments that we do for what they can see.
Just be aware out there,
there is a separate spot for in-store comments
that we remember.
We be writing comments, motherfuckers.
So we get this.
Worst thing I've done in a restaurant though,
we got a pizza and the person was an asshole
and they wanted barbecue sauce and we have squirt bottles.
So on the pizza for the sauce,
I just wrote fuck you cunt on it
and made the pizza.
They would have no idea, but I did that shit.
I did that a lot actually.
You basically did the equivalent of like,
you're mad at your kid and so instead of giving
a smiley face pancake, you made a frown face pancake.
You're a real rebel.
So we see that the stripper,
we see that the aftermath of that,
we see how that all went down.
We see Ron Jeremy get shot to death.
Well, which is pretty fucking cool.
Then the next one is the firefight.
It was a firefight.
And so when he's doing his thing,
he's got the music in, he's running around.
He fires his gun off a few times in the air.
Yeah, and you hear the police radios when it's done.
It's like false alarm, false alarm.
So it really happened.
So I was thinking if you get rid of the music
and all the dramatic camera angles,
if you cut to those three detectives
watching this FBI agent, he's just dancing around.
He gets on his knees.
He just fires his gun.
Because they can't hear the music.
I know.
So it's just, they just see him just dancing.
He fires his gun off.
It was a firefight.
And like, fucking, the fuck sanity.
Speaking of which, I have to question Rocco
about talking with this hitman guy.
Kills a whole family.
I'm just waiting outside smoking a cigarette
and then burns their bodies.
And he's like, but then he's like,
where's they at my fucking life?
And they kill all those guys.
But meanwhile, the main hitman's just taking his shit
in the bathroom.
And he's just sitting there.
The bullet goes through the window in slow motion.
He puts his glasses on.
Like, just another day at the office.
Pulls his pants out.
You have to see this guy's hog.
You see his dick?
And it's a hog too.
That's why he wanted it to be.
They gave us a tit and a dick.
He's like, I bet you that actor,
he's just like, what do you need me to do in the scene?
It's like, well, I guess we can have you
in the bathroom and be washing your hands.
How about I take him, I'm taking a shit.
Okay.
Oh yeah, come in.
Come in.
He's scared to shit.
Oh nice.
Hey.
Thanks.
We have delivery boys here.
With us as always.
Here, fire that gun off real quick, down the hallway.
But watch, but first wait.
First watch the gun, then watch the bullet.
So watch, wait, watch the gun.
Aim here.
No, aim at the chair.
That's where the other bullets are.
Oh, okay.
Aim at the chair, watch.
Now watch the gun first.
You saw it eject the chamber.
Now watch, it shoots a bullet too.
You load the little orange guy into the shell casing.
What?
Like five or six bucks on Tmoo was fucking cheap.
It was for the first time we heard this story.
I know.
It's probably 12.
Doesn't matter.
I got everything blurs together.
He just brought me a package.
I have no idea what it is.
Man, I've been buying all,
I bought a flesh light little thingy on Tmoo.
And you know what?
It's too small.
I was like, you guys knew I was going to stop by.
We did, I had you set up.
What's up, Brendan?
Yeah, of course.
Also tell me what you think of these Skittles gummies.
Oh yeah, they're so good.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
You came in at the perfect time.
That's going to give you enough time to get into the-
See how polite Brendan is.
Tail ended.
You like them?
You can have them.
We all hate, we hated the fuck out of them.
I was about to say-
My kids will eat them.
Okay, yeah, fuck it.
He has kids.
My sister's kids up with sugar too.
Oh, so welcome everybody.
But at the scene where they, oh.
Well, we're going to introduce them.
So we'll do it together.
Even though I already, the ghost of you is already here.
But now he's officially here everybody.
Say hello to Brendan.
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.
Ship me up to Boston.
I'm still not really here.
Really here, it's still the ghost.
He wasn't really here.
He walked in and sat down.
He's also still not really here.
Oh yeah, God.
Oh, that is your-
I ended up at work on my day off.
Did you?
I forgot that that was your-
Today?
Yep, OA.
OA today?
That's called it?
OA.
Oh.
Eh, eh, eh.
Sorry guys.
Fine, fine.
This is just work talk.
So we're at the part where it was a firefight.
Oh yeah, great song.
Great song, based on that.
If you cut to Willem Dafoe without the music
and he's just firing his gun off like an insane person.
It's kind of crazy.
Yeah.
I gotta point out though, that scene where like he tells
every, like says everything that happened
and like you see the boys like run into the room
and then they kind of like freeze for a second.
And then Willem Dafoe walks up and he's like,
oh yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like I just, I really liked that.
Like it seemed like it was a practical green screen
if you will.
Cause normally those things,
they just kind of digitally insert a guy,
but it was like actually him standing there,
which I really liked.
Gotta say.
So sometimes cheap, cheap-
Can look better.
Graphics can look a little more realistic.
And I don't think it was meant to be a freeze thing.
Well, when they, when they tased the wife and everything
that that was meant to be a freeze.
But when he walks in and they're like standing there
pointing the guns at everybody
and you could obviously tell they're moving and breathing.
I think that was intentional to like, I don't know.
God damn it.
Time zone change.
I liked the gay slurs at the gay bar from Willem Dafoe.
Thought that was pretty funny.
He was the only one throwing the gay slurs out.
Yeah.
And they looked, the looks that those other guys gave him.
Like, like, oh God.
How dare you?
Just, I don't, that's like, what a choice.
Cause I know Willem Dafoe is gay in real life.
Isn't he?
I have no idea.
I thought he was.
I didn't know that.
I thought he was.
The only rumor I heard about him on like every podcast
that mentioned him is that he's got a fucking hog on him.
That's it.
Him and Liam Neeson just packing.
Oh yeah, Liam Neeson.
But he's, but like-
Is he gay?
I thought he was gay.
Willem Dafoe gay, right?
He's gay.
Yeah.
But he has a special, wait.
Hold on.
Wait, this might be-
He's gay, he's gay, but he has a special connection
to classical music.
There's many things that are interesting about him.
Okay, yeah.
He was great in this.
Maybe they're talking-
No, I think he's breaking down the character here.
Yeah.
I don't think that that's about this movie.
I don't think you should take that as gospel.
That is him breaking down the, if you look down,
it's him breaking down the character.
It's, oh.
No, yeah.
Cause he's-
And put the word is in front of that
and you might get the writing.
You know, I'm a bit of a homosexual myself.
I heard he was gay once and I was like, okay.
Willem Dafoe is gay.
No, nope.
If we're doing this for 10 more seconds, it's getting weird.
Yep, we're done.
No, he's not.
He's not, but maybe he's, okay.
He's heterosexual.
He's so good at playing angry.
Like when he's doing the strip club
and then they find out there's another,
then we didn't think it was connected, he's pissed off.
And then he's like, why'd he do the bartender?
I hate cold crime scenes.
He's fucking pissed off, dude.
None of this is any good.
Fuck!
You know, like so great.
I think it's really missing one thing.
It needs more cowbell.
More cowbell.
Always.
It's weird to see him as,
think of him as like Green Goblin in the newest Spider-Man.
What do you mean it's weird?
This is the same part.
What are you talking about?
I'm saying the newest one.
Like the first Spider-Man in this
are kind of very same vibe.
Same vibe, yeah.
Where he was like, I bet you he,
they saw Boondock Saints.
They knew he could be Green Goblin.
Sam Raimi must've been like, oh yeah, dude.
He could totally do, like,
and even if he had played it like not as,
I hate that they made Green Goblin insane insane
in the movie.
I wish that he had been more subtly insane.
Like this would have been, like I wanted a more like just-
Like the beginning of this versus the end.
Yeah. Yeah.
That would have been cool.
Like just more, but anyway,
I put 1999 computers, question mark,
which aren't 1999 computers.
They would be 1997 computers.
How quickly it went through the whole database
and found the fingerprint instantly.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.
And then here you go, it's Rocko.
Or was it Rocko?
It was Rocko.
Yeah.
With his finger.
The guy, oh yeah, I put the case.
I forgot about Willem in drag.
He really committed to helping these guys out.
He shaves, not well enough.
He should have waxed.
He still had that five o'clock shadow.
But that one goon didn't mind.
But I love-
Two of them didn't mind.
Yeah.
My favorite line of it is,
cause he's still an FBI agent.
He at some point turns into rooting for these guys.
Cause he's like, oh shit, they're killing the mob.
These cute big, huge freaking guys.
They're killing all over the place.
They're good guys.
I should help them.
So he goes in drag, he shows up.
And it was just to help.
This was just to be like backup in case they needed him.
And then he shoots that guy too far, too far.
Fuck it.
And then he just starts walking through.
And then you missed this,
but Austin pointed out something
that I didn't think about before,
which was when El Duce comes through
and he's killing everybody.
Hits because it's a woman and not-
Yeah, cause it's a woman, no women, no children.
He thought he was convincing enough for him.
From the back.
From the back, yeah.
Well, he's an old man.
He's been in prison for 30 years.
I think anyone with long hair.
It's 1996.
I've been walking through the streets to get here.
He saw a few Nirvana fans and was like,
uh, women?
Oh shit.
Just long hair, grungy dudes.
And then we get the saddest scene in the movie.
They break in, they break in, the guys catch him.
They lock him in the basement.
And then the Russian guy, Yakoveta comes in
and kills Rocco.
So sad.
The saddest part's always sad.
Well, except for Rocco's not dead.
No, he's dead.
He's dead.
It's the ghost of Rocco M2.
That he's moving around?
Yeah, it's a ghost.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I was saying, well, he's dead, he's moving around.
Mike is pointing up.
I think maybe head off of a chicken nerves.
Okay.
Can we attribute that?
Let's just come up with whatever other excuses you can.
For this horrible fucking movie.
In this alternate universe, in this alternate universe.
Mike's gonna hate my rating, though.
Yeah, oh no.
I don't care what anybody else rates it.
I have my own rating.
I don't know if you figured it out yet, Mike,
but I am going to arbitrarily, at a whim,
either defend or attack this whatever the fuck I see.
What is the opposite of what I say?
I got it.
Sometimes.
I got it.
Sometimes.
We're good, it doesn't matter.
You can 100% agree with me,
and you're just gonna come up with something else.
It's fine.
I feel like this is my debate club.
Every time you pick a stance on anything,
I have to assume the opposite.
And I get it.
And I have a good win rate, I think.
Rocco dying is very sad,
but then it looks like Norman Reedus
is trying to fuck his dead body.
Yeah.
And he's kissing the nape of his neck,
and he's like, ugh!
He's like, oh yeah, he does look like
he's kinda kissing his neck.
I know he's trying to scoot over and get to him, but.
That was a sad movie, or a sad part.
And then we get the, how do they escape again?
They break their.
They bust out, L.J.J. comes in,
and they're doing the prayer for Rocco,
and earlier they mentioned it's our father's prayer.
Father before him, we can't teach you Rocco.
And then their dad comes in, he's like, oh, my boy.
Yep, yeah.
And he sees him, and he,
that was, I guess, a twist, right?
The first time you watch it, you're like, what?
Yeah.
That was their father?
But then why didn't he wreck?
I guess it's been 30 years.
So they must be, what, 36, 37 years old?
Somewhere.
So, yeah, okay.
That, cool, and then we get the best end credits of all time.
Yeah, I did like the end credits.
You got to get a view of that.
Batman, Superman, and the Saints.
And, true, Batman, Superman,
and I've had at least two different
Boondock Saints posters in my life.
Fuck yeah.
I mean, they look awesome.
Them with the tattoos and the guns out, very cool.
Yeah, cool end credits.
I felt the end credits, there's maybe like two people
that didn't feel organic, but everyone else felt it.
I felt like they really were walking down the street
telling people that there's two vigilantes
killing the mob.
What do you think?
How do you feel about it?
And people were honestly reacting to be like,
I don't want nothing to do with this.
Are you crazy, dude?
You want people out there killing people?
Yeah, man, they're putting people in their fucking place.
And now I want us to be interviewed as if
we just found out that there's a pair of vigilantes
that have been going and killing violent drug lords
and violent mafia members around town
and cleaning up the streets.
Interview, Mike, how do you feel about that?
You for or against them?
Or just do a quick little, like an on the street interview.
I'd have to know the actual people, I couldn't tell you.
Okay, well that would be my natural reaction.
Austin, sir, what do you feel about these saints
that people are calling them?
They're just murdering violent drug lords.
You mean Columbine?
They killed a bunch of fucking kids.
All right, we can't use that.
Here we go, family man.
Hello, sir, how do you feel about these saints?
I don't know if it's safe for the women and children.
Okay, yeah.
And then if they interviews me, how can I join?
I'm just, hi.
They're like, that's fucking awesome.
I'll trade my mom's jewelry for some fucking
silence pistol.
So, okay, so let's give Boondock Saints one a grade.
One a grade, and then we're gonna go to two,
because we're already deep in it.
Well, here, since I'm probably gonna be the outlier,
I'm gonna be the outlier, I'm sure of it.
Okay. Okay.
Because this movie has its good points,
so I can't give it a W, right?
Because there's some funny lines in it,
there's some good dialogue,
there's also some really stupid shit in this movie.
As we've pointed out.
And, and.
Careful, Mike.
This is one of my favorite movies.
It can be your favorite movie, it's still an F to me.
It was a W until I saw it too.
That is Michael Larsen's Lives on, no.
This is. Wow.
This is the same man who loved the acolyte.
Now, this is the second time I've seen this movie.
Second time I've seen this movie.
I would have given this movie like a C.
Before.
When I was 20 years old.
I might just be too old, I might just be too jaded.
Yeah.
I might have seen too many movies now that are well done.
I might have seen Natural Born Killers and went,
oh, that's a good movie.
Hey, look, here's a copy of it that sucks.
I think Natural Born Killers is garbage.
I have to disagree with you.
There you go.
Woody Harrelson one with Juliette Lewis.
That's one of my least favorite.
I feel like this is better than that.
But also it's a matter of opinion
because that's Oliver Stone, right?
But some of the shit he's done.
Have you guys seen Savages?
The two dudes that run a pot farm that gets ripped off by,
oh my God, that's a fucking stellar movie.
This movie has been done better.
You can tell this movie was written by Barton.
That's all, and directed by Barton.
Michael Larson with an F for Boondock States.
Okay.
Austin.
B.9.
It would have been a B, it was a B plus all my life,
but now watching it through these eyes of reviewing it,
a few little cheesy things, but still a B.9.
B.9, that makes sense, okay.
And then,
Breaded.
All right, so this movie definitely has its faults,
but I still love it for all of its faults and everything.
And like saints, things can be faulted.
So I'm gonna give this an S grade for sainting.
Seven out of five Hail Marys.
Or shit.
Depending on how you wanna look at it, yeah.
Look at it.
Oh man.
Oh yeah, I'll give it five dead cats.
Five dead cats.
Oh yeah, I did 1.0 dramatic finger wags.
Okay, so we have an F, a B.9, an S for saint.
Just gonna write saint.
I don't underline the S.
Okay, shit.
I was stuck on this because,
you know, honestly, I loved it when I was a kid.
I did, I really did.
Watching it now,
it didn't hold up as well as it did.
And so I give it, and I'm sorry guys,
I give it like a C.
No, I give it a C plus because.
All right, get on your knees.
Get on your knees.
Brennan, you brought the pennies, right?
Yes, yes.
You have the pistol silver, right?
I have them.
So I'll do C plus.
So, but it doesn't even matter what Mike and I do
because the moment somebody breaks,
somebody, especially if one of us feels strongly enough
for a movie that they're willing to break the code
of B through W, I usually just allow that shit to happen.
So I'm thinking that this movie gets A.
Wow, there's gotta be a middle ground
between an F and a saint.
A P for priest.
P for priest.
How about that?
So, FooTock Saints 1 gets a P for priest.
It's the best middle ground I could find between a saint
and an absolute failure.
So perfect.
And now we're gonna move to Boondock Saints 2
and we're gonna review it a lot quicker, I hope.
I think we're all gonna be a little bit more like-minded
on this one.
Maybe.
If you guys are like-minded in the sense
that you absolutely love the female character,
the detective chief.
I like her.
I mean, I feel like she's trying too hard
to do William DeFoe,
but I mean, she was trained by William DeFoe, so.
I forgot her name.
Eunice Bloom.
Well, no, the actress.
I know she was in Saw.
That was weird.
It's like, oh, that's Eunice Bloom.
Well, she was Dexter's wife.
And more importantly than that,
she was Darla on Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
which she's actually the very first character you see
in the entire Buffy season one.
So when season one opens, we see a young blonde girl
and she's with a hunky guy and it's nighttime
and they're breaking in and they're at school
and they're about to break into the high school
and to like make out or whatever.
And he's like, oh, she's like, oh, what was that noise?
And he's like, don't worry, babe, I got you.
There's nothing out there.
And she's like, are you sure?
And then she turns into a vampire and sucks his blood,
which just real quick is a cool little twist
to start a show off with.
And she becomes a pretty main vampire
throughout the rest of the season.
Her name is Julie Bens, who I wrote
is a white snake song away from sprawling
on the hood of a sports car.
Fuck yeah.
And she's hot.
Especially with her sexy Southern Belle schtick.
She is.
Yeah, no, I buy that.
Two definitely feels more like a fan service movie.
They kind of like focused on the things
people liked about certain characters,
if they were funny or this and that,
kind of just highlighted that the best they could
with kind of bad acting.
Yeah.
There's a little bit of, I mentioned it earlier,
I hated the three stooges in this one.
I thought that they were way too,
it's basically slapstick, silly, over the top.
Everything she did, I was for,
when she turns into the cowboy chick
and she's just walking down the thing
and she's like doing all that stuff.
I also liked that she puts-
I did not like that.
I thought that was a little over the top.
Look, if we're gonna buy-
I did like that we had ourselves a good old fashioned,
shoot him up.
Like that was all right.
And then the sliding, I like when they're on the lift
and he's like, oh, fucking rope again.
Don't tell me you saw this in a fucking movie.
And he's like, the agar section with Clint Eastwood.
And you see the guy, the cop in the background, fuck.
Oh, what we're talking about earlier is Bushmills,
Irish whiskey is when they opened the movie in two.
They're in the cottage seated for dinner
with a bottle of Bushmills.
Bushmills is one of the oldest whiskies in the world,
but made in Northern Island,
no self-respecting Irish Catholic from their public
would drink Bushmills.
Instead they would be drinking Jameson's,
which is made in Dublin.
Sad, also there are no fucking wolves in Ireland.
You missed it, Brandon,
but we had a pretty heated argument about the whiskey.
Uh.
One of our more Austin had to get in the middle
and stop it from getting violent.
So I came in to break the tension right when I got here.
But-
You can feel it in the air,
that's why the gun was out.
We gotta point out-
Who are about to play Russian roulette.
The characters in this movie.
It is reprisal porn at its finest.
There's strangely Judd Nelson, Ricky from Trailer Park Boys,
and Peter fucking Fonda from Easy Rider in this movie.
And they even, but they got Willem Dafoe
for about five minutes, that's it.
I was okay with the Willem Dafoe.
There's one problem-
Oh, Aliens guy from History Channel,
is Gorgeous George.
He looks just like that guy that's like,
Aliens, it's Aliens.
Oh, I forgot all the different mafia guys,
it's who you're naming off, right?
The family?
Baby Yakaveta's Judd Nelson, Ricky's one of the guards,
Gorgeous George is their Patsy, I guess.
Peter Fonda's the dad's brother from the past.
There's a montage of them getting ready
and putting on their shirts.
And they're all naked?
And I was like, that's a pretty cool montage,
except whoever got the Jesus feet tattoo got fucked.
Got screwed in that exchange.
Are they talking about the shower scene
when they show their butts?
Yeah, but I'm talking about one of them-
That's the cool montage you're talking about?
Could have done without that.
Oh yeah, you've missed all of it.
Andy's been on Ron Jeremy's dick.
Listen, you've missed everything.
That's your favorite?
I like how they-
I've been near Ron Jeremy's dick.
Listen, with Ron Jeremy's dick being 20 feet away,
I could have been touching it, you don't know.
You don't know.
It's a public place, but you don't know
where his dick is at any time.
I like how when it cuts to the boys in Ireland
and they look just like me, how I used to look.
And then the coolest fucking line,
like there's some cool lines in this,
funny lines and cool lines, and one is like,
you kill a priest and make it look like it was them
to try to get them to come back.
There's one problem with that plan.
It worked. It worked.
I wrote that down as well.
I got it down as a line in this one too.
This one I thought had better one-liners
than the first one.
That's why I said the only thing about this movie
that's better than the first one
is the one-liners in this movie are better, in two.
Can we please get back to the tattoos for one moment?
One of them has the upper body of Christ
on the cross being crucified.
The other one has basically Jesus
from the dick down feet-wise, right?
How are they gonna match them up?
The only way I could think of it is that
they would have to go ass to ass
and both go to tabletop in order for the image
to line up correctly.
They sit on the shoulders.
Sit on the shoulders.
You know, like kids, like how kids stack in a trench coat
to get bearded.
Once again, you watch completely different things
in a movie than me.
I can say it.
Thank you, Brendan, for that joint.
The water we smoke.
They get on the boat.
They get on the boat to go over there
and then that's where we meet LaRazza
and he fights that guy and it like zooms in up to the guy,
the big fucking jacked muscular guy
and he's like, you gotta fight that guy.
And then he just like, he just like,
titty clenches, both his titties, like rumbles his boobs
around.
Dudes with pecs do that all the time.
I've known dudes with pecs and they do it all the time.
I can do it.
But just, it's just like he was processing.
It's like, I just, I saw him just processing the thought
and like, that's like, like when a dog is excited,
it wags his tail.
It's like when he's thinking,
every time he has a thought, he wiggles his tits a little bit.
Yeah.
So we meet LaRozza, is that his name?
LaRozza?
LaRozza.
So LaRozza's played by who?
I don't know his name.
I've seen him in stuff though.
He's been in a lot.
Yes.
I think, who was it that was,
was it Dario that was sort of watching it with me?
Someone didn't recognize him.
He was in Westworld.
He was in, he's been in a lot of action.
But yeah, he's great.
He's funny.
He's a funny character.
I think he's done some voice acting too,
because his voice sounds really familiar.
But yeah, so he, that fight dude, that,
he's so good that they tied his hands behind his back.
And then he finds the loophole and chokes him out
instead of hitting him.
Yeah, it's fucking great.
Yeah.
That was a cool fight.
That was cool.
So again.
Instantly figures out who the saints are.
Like.
We get that cop in the interrogation room,
like the main chief guy.
And he's just sitting there and a guy walks in with a dog
and he goes like, get out.
And he turns around, I don't get it.
I don't, what?
Power move.
I don't know what that was in reference to
or they just put that in there for no fucking reason.
I think we're supposed, it's a good fight.
It's all about cats in this movie.
So I think the moment they want to introduce a dog.
Oh, maybe like, oh, they kill a dog now?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I have no idea, but that, it wasn't weird.
I think I remember that.
Oh, maybe it's a reference to PETA or something.
Do you think?
It's all up in the air,
because there was no reason in including that.
So we could just make up our own reason.
Fair enough.
Did you guys all watch the director's cut?
Yeah.
I think, yeah, I think so.
The two hours, six.
Two hours, yeah.
Half hour, yeah.
Yeah, fuck, it was long.
Yeah.
But again, an example of what was like really cool ideas,
sort of poorly implemented, just like the first one.
It's like the first one was like really cool ideas,
poorly-ish executed,
but like, I feel like because it was indie,
and you got away with it.
And new, you know, it's all good.
New, it was 90s, you got away with it.
It was edgy.
2009, we were expecting more.
So you can't just give us a rehash of the first one
with like a new main character,
if you're not gonna give us something of substance
to go with it.
I don't think the mafia story was really anything.
We just had that.
If you're gonna have the saints back, have them.
I mean, I did like the whole copycat saint,
fake copycats who's like killing priests, I guess.
And I liked that they realize it's messed up,
because it's like the bullet holes are coming out lower.
But like, did he have to be a comically small guy
who is obsessed with how small he is?
Oh, that's ridiculous.
I like when they get back to the bar,
and then that guy is like tucked behind,
fuck ass with a gun pointed at him.
It looks so silly.
I think part of the problem with two,
I watched it back to back with one.
And part of the problem with two is,
it's almost mean-spirited,
like the racial jokes in it and stuff.
It gets kind of mean-spirited.
It's not-
Not if you're Irish.
It's not as fun.
You know what I mean?
It's not as-
It almost feels like in the first one,
when Troy Duffy, when Rocco says that racist joke,
you're like, oh God, he's under duress.
This is what he knows.
White guys want to hear.
Yeah, now that he's getting racist to be racist.
Now he's just like, oh shit, people love the racism.
I'll just throw more of that shit in here.
God, you know what I thought he did was,
the first one he tried to make a gritty,
cool, shoot-em-up detective story
with a lot of high nuance drama and making-
Non-linear for sure.
Yeah.
And it's fucking cool.
It's a non-linear, it's chopped up.
He's doing what Christopher Nolan was doing with Memento.
He's like, he tried to do his own Memento.
It's a Tarantino ripoff.
They tightened up on the racism a bit.
Like the first one, yeah,
there was blatant use of the N-word by three white guys.
This one is two of the toughest races
that you can't really offend with racial stuff
would be the Irish or Hispanic, Latino, whatever,
Latinx, maybe not Latinx,
but Mexicans love Mexican jokes.
They love them.
They don't care who tells them.
It's more like if you're not saying it
with hate in your heart, they don't really give a shit.
And that's been told to me by several, they love it.
I'm sure that-
If it's good.
I'm sure that applies to a lot of different scenarios,
where it's just like, as long as you don't have
hate in your heart and it's good intention,
you mean it well and you-
Like Mick doesn't hurt anyone.
If you call an Italian a wop, they don't, they're just,
okay.
Yeah.
But now there will, if anyone who would be offended by that
would be offended by you just saying that right now, right?
I'm pretty sure Greasy-
I have Italian, I am Italian.
I'm pretty sure they're all offended by Greasy Spick.
I'm pretty sure that doesn't, you know,
I'm pretty sure Greasy Spick offends-
Maybe in New York in the eighties when it was like common,
but-
Welcome to Fried Rice Podcast.
Again, if you don't say it with hate in your heart,
I don't think they really care.
I remember when I was a kid.
Okay, but-
I got called a wetback and I had to ask my mom
what that meant, like what is a wetback?
Well, yeah.
What I'm saying is it's not good,
but it's not as bad as the first movie
where three white guys were saying the N word.
I'm saying it's not as bad.
That's fine, that's fine, but I just wanna go back to-
Nobody's justified, one is more justified though, by law.
This is the most controversial episode
talking about gay and racism.
But real quick, back to just Mike right now.
Were you here when we spent 10 minutes
Googling if William DeFoe's gay?
Yeah, that was right when I got here.
Remember that?
Something about Brendan walking in,
we're like, is, welcome to Fogged In.
So, but no, no, but Mike, right now,
just a few moments ago, you just said Greasy Spick
in reference to this movie, but you said it angrily.
That's the way it was said in the movie.
But I know, but the thing is you were saying it,
in defense of you shouldn't be saying racial shit,
you were saying like, yeah, but then he said Greasy Spick,
and the way you said it was angry.
So he didn't say it with love in his heart.
No, he didn't today in this movie.
But he also didn't mean to hurt anyone with it.
So I think there's loopholes.
Yes.
There's loopholes.
Wait, what am I trying to do, fight loopholes to racism?
I don't know, now I'm just arguing too much.
I'm gonna argue myself into some bullshit here,
let's back away.
I'm gonna give you guys two really funny lines
is when they go to the warehouse
and they open up the coffee thing
and they find the drugs and he's like,
that's pure heroin.
He's like, how do you know that?
Fuck do you know?
Fuck you I know shit.
Like good, when they're driving in the forklift,
he's like, oh fuck, tell him to go left.
Go left, go left.
He's like, what?
That's right, go that way.
I was in the theater at the Block of Orange
when this came out and I loved it.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so good.
Which also, it's no longer called the Block of Orange,
even though I refuse to not call it that,
it's the Outlets of Orange now,
which is super gay.
That's my time.
Todd?
Hello?
Has he been picking you up?
Okay, good.
He's been picking me up.
Oh, are you leaving?
That's my time.
What's your rating on Boondocks?
Two, I would give two a C minus.
C minus for Brian Hayden.
I don't have it.
I don't have a silly one for it.
It's fine, it's fine.
Just the movie itself is silly enough.
Thanks for showing up.
And look, now you can say, oh I got,
it was a line, I opened up a Skittles gummy.
No, I told my wife what I was doing.
I said after, as I was leaving the store,
I was like, yeah, I'm kind of bummed with the score,
so I need to go cheer myself up.
So I'm gonna stop by for a little bit,
just like, you got 30 minutes.
Like, all right.
You got 30 minutes.
Well, thank you so much.
She already got the meat marinating and stuff like that,
so I convinced my dad to not do a brisket today.
Okay, I was like,
I thought you were making a brisket overnight.
I was like, no, I'm too fucking tired.
Like, I'm not doing it.
I'm not staying up all night babysitting a brisket
and waking up early because the kids are gonna be up
in the hotel room wanting to come over here.
Yeah, it's just too much.
Well, we appreciate you coming out.
Let's give it up for Brandon.
Appreciate you guys watching my movie.
Wish I could have been here the whole time.
Well, yeah, you could have stopped some,
maybe friendship ending fights with Mike and I.
I didn't wanna say it,
but now I feel like our friendship has shifted into it.
My rating wasn't there.
Oh, you were here for the rating.
I was here for the rating.
Yeah, all right.
Have a good one, everybody.
All right, cool.
So, have a good one.
Drive safe.
Say hi to your family.
Okay.
The dad's origin is fucking brutal as shit,
and it's also very cool.
I would love to see an old-timey iteration of Boondock Saints.
Yeah, I would take a prequel movie of just the dad,
and then...
Or just our own standalone thing,
like just a, all right, well, let's do Boondock Saints,
but if it was in like the 30s or something
in the Depression, that would be sick.
Now, have you seen the Kingsmen?
Have you seen Kingsmen?
Kingsmen, Secret Service?
Well, yeah, but have you seen the sequel, Golden Circle?
Did you see the third one?
Kingsman.
Yeah. The Kingsman.
The Kingsman.
Have you seen those?
No.
Well, first off, do yourself a favor and watch all three
Kingsmen movies, because they are excellent.
Because that's exactly what you're talking about.
It's like the first one, it's like,
here's a dope-ass movie about British spies,
and then they're like, cool, let's do a sequel,
where it's like, cool, let's just make America part of it.
Now, here's dope-ass British spies
and American spies doing bullshit,
and then the third one, they're like, fuck it.
What can we do from here?
All right, let's just do the first iteration of,
like back in the day with World War II shit going on.
It's sick.
How this all happened, yeah.
It's great.
Very.
Some of my favorite action movies, actually.
All right, yeah, so I like the flashbacks.
What's with all the cats?
I like that she put earplugs in to block out the sound
instead of putting music on
when she's investigating the crime scene.
Very cool.
I like that, like, again, another cool idea from Troy Duffy,
just, again, sort of poorly implemented.
Let's see.
I'm so fucking smart.
I make the smart people around me feel like retards.
That too.
That one down too, yeah.
Funny line, little problematic, but funny.
He's a little guy.
Boondock Saints, the comedy.
Like, honestly, that little guy ruins it for me.
Boondock Saints, the comedy.
Yeah, it really is.
I feel like Troy Duffy made this into an action comedy.
Up until I paid attention, I thought that guy was a Muslim,
and I was like, oh, they're going there,
and it's like, oh, he's a Sicilian guy.
The little dude?
Yeah, because he looks hella fucking like.
The moment, like, I was laughing out loud
at some of the shenanigans the cops were getting into
and the way they were like,
because it honestly just felt like comedy.
This is giving me Battlefield Earth vibes
of like unintentional, one of the great,
one of the better comedies, because when it cuts to
how did they find out who the dude was,
is the fact that after the little guy killed the priest,
he laid down next to him just to see how tall he was.
And he's like, are you fucking kidding me?
Are you out of your fucking mind
if you think that that was a good idea to put in your movie
if you're not trying to make it a comedy?
Now, if you're trying to make it a comedy
and the whole thing is little guy,
then yeah, make him hide behind the bartender.
Make him size himself up against the priest.
Make him wear heels.
Make it show him wear heels.
I think you even see the box at one point
that says like little big boy heels or something
and then cuts over to his shoes.
And then he's just, oh my God, it's,
it is ridiculous.
Yeah, I don't know why they put that in there.
I don't either.
We see gorgeous George's ass and dick.
Yeah, another dick shot.
They get more free guns from the IRA guy
because now they're homies, because now they come back.
Oh, we didn't even talk about the fact that,
what epic hair and beards at the beginning there.
When we first start and they're in Ireland,
because they are on the run, because they just killed-
There's a couple of knees.
Shuffle people, oh yeah, God damn, that's what you said.
I thought you, okay, I don't know what I thought
when you said that, but I wasn't thinking of that scene.
So yes, absolutely right.
You do look like one of them fucking,
like you've been on the run from the cops in Ireland.
Living on a sheep farm?
For 10 years, living on a sheep farm.
Just tattooing your brother, some feet on his back.
But they, I don't know, so we get to, I mean, the full,
oh, yeah.
We did rehash a lot of this, so for time's sake,
we're at two hours now.
Yeah, sorry, but the IRA guy giving them free guns
I thought was insane, because he's just like,
hey boys, good to see you again.
Here's some guns.
You boys are on the house.
Specially made for you, and I also happen to have a pair
of also Mexican themed silencers.
This movie.
You look like you've seen one up close.
And the first movie.
I've got the perfect thing for these movies.
These movies could be enjoyable one way.
There's one way to make these movies good.
A bunch of bush mills?
Drinking game.
Yeah.
The word fuck.
Just the word fuck in these movies, a drinking game.
You know how many shots you'd have to take?
Yes, I do know how many, that's why I brought it up.
It's 200 and, wait a minute, there's more in the first one.
The first one has 246, and the second one has 156.
166, 154.
I have a copy of Scarface that counts all the F-bombs
and all the bullets shot.
Can you imagine?
That's, yeah, you would die.
That's like the Thunderstruck ACDC one.
People say that you can't do
because it would actually kill you.
Kill you, yeah.
Now what did you say you have a thing of?
Oh, I said the F-bomb counter on the Scarface DVD I have.
We had like a special edition, and it has like a little F
with like on a classical little bomb,
and it counts every time they say fuck.
Yeah, another thing that would be great
in the streaming world, having those little features.
Could you imagine watching if they went the extra mile
on like a Deadpool release?
So just think about the Deadpool Wolverine release.
Or I'll go Deadpool 2 or whatever,
just so that we don't ruin anything.
Or even the first one.
But if Deadpool, you find it streaming,
and the credits pop up, and there's a little Deadpool.
No, there's a little Deadpool on the menu
with a whole extra set of like
you're gonna get a couple minutes of content from that.
Worth it.
Like it's worth a re-buy.
It's like, oh cool, every time I pull this up,
I'm gonna get this like cool themed thing, right?
And then maybe when you're watching it,
you can turn on like instead of a director's commentary,
you turn on Deadpool commentary.
And it pops up.
And he pops up and he breaks the fourth wall,
and he does what?
Because it's already breaking the first wall.
That'd be great, yeah, that'd be great.
Maybe he breaks the fifth wall,
but oh shit, how do you break the fifth wall?
I think I know how.
Someone breaks the fourth wall by coming out.
So like we get a director's,
we get a Deadpool commentary where he's talking
about the movie that we're currently watching.
But then he turns around, he says, watch this.
And then he goes, breaks into the,
back into the movie and adjusts the content
of the movie a little bit, and then comes back out.
Like they re-film one scene for it.
All right, you guys aren't as interested in this as I am.
I'm the only one high.
Sorry, continue.
It's been two hours, let's move on.
Gorgeous George goes to the junkyard
and talks to his buddy for some help.
And he's like, yeah, it's like that movie, you know?
The girl and the kid, the guys,
like panic room, panic room?
And he's like, nah, the other one.
He's like fucking with him, busting his balls.
I think once the main FBI guy shows up.
Oh, Consular?
This becomes a full blown comedy
because he's so over the fucking top.
He's like, it's my jurisdiction, shut it down, blah, blah,
blah, I'll get all the credit.
It's just poorly written.
And then the twist at the end,
when you see that Willem Dafoe's been alive,
the whole time I thought was stupid.
Why wouldn't they go in the elevator
or there are just blankets on the walls all around them?
Maybe that was the 90s thing.
That was just-
Oh, it was 2009.
This is just a 2009 thing.
Elevators had blankets all on the walls.
Yeah, everyone was thinking how do you,
warm elevators was a, when they heard global warming,
people, someone heard it wrong.
Wait, wasn't it a freight elevator?
I think a lot of them do have that.
Is that a normal thing? Yeah, that's common.
Probably to protect the shit that you're carrying up.
The shit you're carrying up, yeah.
If you're bringing, let's say you're bringing some furniture.
You see them in freight elevators in hotels and stuff.
Ricky pulls a total Ricky move
and bumps baby Akaveta out of the way of the panic room
so he could say to himself
that it's so something he would have done if it was Ricky.
I'm just convinced that this is Ricky.
Like, they were just,
Troy was just like, I love Ricky, let's put him in there
and make him be Ricky.
Ricky from what?
Trailer Park Boys.
I've never seen it.
You've never seen Trailer Park Boys?
It's not my thing.
I don't really care.
Did you like Reno 911?
It's okay.
Well, you might like Trailer Park Boys
at least a little bit.
Did you hear my, it's okay.
Do you know how passionate I am about the things I love?
Have I not gone on 30 tangents today about all the other?
When I say something's okay, I'm basically like,
I understand from a technical point of view
and from others' points of view that it's a good show.
I don't like white trash comedy.
Just something about it.
But anyways, Ricky, Ricky.
That felt like a personal affront to you.
It's just like, how could you not like,
I understand not watching it all the time.
I haven't watched it in a while,
but I'm like, oh, that's a good show.
I liked it.
Yeah, it was great.
No, but no, East Bounded Down.
East Bounded Down was great, yeah.
I love East Bounded Down.
That's the thing, I'm not into,
there's a certain style of like white trash humor
that I'm not fully into.
You don't like Joe Dirt?
The only exception of the rules would be a Joe Dirt
or a My Name is Earl.
Talladega Nights?
Or a Talladega Nights.
Like, I'm okay with those.
Quick, Mike, we need one more white trash thing.
But like, if you go to...
The Wonderful Whites of West Virginia?
I don't, what are those?
Oh, that's a documentary that's actually really good.
I know.
What's those, what are those indie movies?
Kids, and then there was like one where it's like
this ugly, ugly kid, or 90s, the 90s,
Jonah Hill directed one, about the 90s.
And it looked like it was a bunch of just white trash stuff.
So I didn't watch that either,
but that one actually looks kinda good.
Doesn't matter.
Anyways, Ricky's locks himself in the panic room
and Greenlee's like, do something, you fucking wad.
He's like, he could be in there, you know,
touching her and stuff.
I like how they updated the music,
like the classic music from the first one,
they just revamped it and made it sound nice and fresh.
It was nice.
Not a big fan of the techno in the shoot-em-up scenes,
where they just dubbed quotes from the first movie
and just repeated them over and over again to techno music.
Like, it felt very blade-esque.
Kinda.
But...
I don't know why I wrote Fire Hydrant, but I did.
As a note, I forgot what it was about.
The Ding Dong line, where he's trying to figure out
a cool line to say, and it shows both versions
of like, fucking stupid.
And then it goes back, he's like, yeah, you said it.
Ding dong, yeah, that was great.
Another cool line, sorta, not as cool as it worked,
but when their dad's doing that game
where they're holding a gun to each other's head
and firing, he's like, Conor, daddy's working.
That was nice.
Another cool spot was when they do the final showdown
at the house, and you see that angel get shot up
and then the wings fall off.
I thought that was a nice little ROT Pizza cinematography.
Really liked it.
And then we get Willem Dafoe, where we leave off,
where you were talking about Willem Dafoe showing up.
Did not skip a beat, felt like, oh, fucking smacker's back.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, look, I liked him in it.
I just said, hey, Green Goblin again.
Yeah.
But this is post-Green Goblin,
so there was a little bit of pre,
a little bit of post-Goblin, and he looked great.
Still looks great.
Listen, this movie, I'm just gonna rate it,
because it's the equivalent of a rabid chihuahua
yapping at your heel.
What?
Oh, rabid, okay.
It feels, yeah, it's aggressive.
It's loud, obnoxious, aggressive, but harmless.
You know?
Okay, sure, yeah.
It's like, there's no,
let's, one overactive hell mirror.
I wanna know, did Billy Connolly teach them
the Irish accent, because from movie one,
to this movie, you just should go watch a scene for me,
they're completely different.
I didn't even notice.
Yeah, they're not, did you watch back to back?
I did.
Yeah, back to back, their accents,
well, first of all, about halfway through
the first movie, they change.
And they get a little better.
They're being coached as they go.
That's why I wonder if Billy Connolly was just doing it
on set.
Because Norman Reedus sounds different.
Yeah.
And so one overactive hell mirror, this one's a W.
A W, good lord.
There's no reason to watch this movie.
If you watched the first one, why would you watch this one?
It's the same movie, rehashed worse.
See, W, Mike, we've only had,
There's no reason for it.
I strongly disagree.
If you loved the first one, like many, many, many people did
of this cult classic, you were excited to just see
the story be continued, see how the guys are 10 years later.
You enjoyed it, you weren't expecting anything great.
It's just like, oh yeah, the good old days.
I remember when I first saw that movie,
and look, here's a little bit more.
You didn't even have to do that.
Most of these movies, just they have the one movie
and they never, you know.
Maybe some YouTuber does their own little fan made thing,
which is nice.
But you know, I went to the theaters,
wasn't expecting much, I just wanted to see what was up.
And I enjoyed the movie, I liked all the call backs,
I liked how they used footage from the old movie too.
I'm just gonna go C plus, or three lobster dicks.
When I saw it in the theater, I absolutely hated it.
And the only reason I hated it
is nothing to do with the movie,
it had everything to do with the company.
And I went with a couple of friends
and we all drank beforehand and turned.
And so seeing it drunk in a nearly empty theater,
with them taking advantage of that
and being loud and obnoxious,
some of the things I absolutely cannot stand
with movie etiquette.
As you know, I already hate the theater enough,
having to go there and then be part of a group
that's being loud and obnoxious.
It just wasn't my finest moment in the theater.
So I left not enjoying it because I got a very,
just the experience wasn't there for me.
So this was the first fresh eyes rewatch,
the director's cut with an open, enthusiastic,
and open mind, okay?
This is me just honestly just going to see how it feels,
you know, how it felt to get there.
And honestly, I love Julie Benz's character.
I thought she overacted as much as Willem Dafoe did,
so the vibe was still there.
If this is supposed to be an over the top action,
shoot them up just with a story, right?
Like it's not, it doesn't feel,
I didn't feel like either one.
It's not only God forgives.
Yeah, exactly.
We can say that much.
But you know what?
It's better in some ways, it's worse in others, you know?
It's like, if you want a story, like a coherent story,
you'd follow this one because it's like,
at least it makes sense what's happening.
They're killing off people again.
But that's, I watched this and I think I enjoyed it
a lot more this time around.
So it's weird.
It's complete reverse.
The first movie, I lost some love for.
This one, I definitely gained some appreciation for.
So I am with Austin at a C+.
So I've given them, I think the same grade.
I think I went C plus on both.
Yeah, so I think they're,
and the reason I give them the same grade
is because as much as the first one was an indie classic
that's enjoyable in its own right,
it's flawed in a lot of ways
that I feel like doesn't hold up as well.
But I feel like the new one,
there's a lot of love put into it
because you could tell that everyone on there,
everyone doing it was a fan of the first,
it's like every one of them was passionate
and wanted to be there. Yeah, I would agree with that.
And you could feel the love throughout it.
You could feel everyone enjoying themselves while acting.
It didn't feel like there wasn't chemistry between people.
It felt like everything just worked.
And it was fun to watch and it was cool
and it was over the top in all the fun, delightful ways
that I want from a Boonock Saints.
It was problematic as fuck,
but I'm willing to forgive a lot of it,
give it a higher grade.
And so that's why I'm gonna put them on equal ground.
So I feel like the Boonock Saints are both
just shy of being a great series of movies.
I think they're good.
And I think they're really good
if you're in the mood for some like,
if you had just watched The Departed
and you're like, what can I watch next?
I feel like the Boonock Saints movies back to back
would be a fun release from how dramatic The Departed is.
Like The Departed, I'm not saying,
is a way better movie, 100%.
That's a S tier, you know what I mean?
So yeah, this is fun.
It's like an Irish shoot them up.
I feel like I got too old for this movie.
That's basically, honestly, you're one of the group.
I got too old for this shit, yeah.
But Mike, unfortunately, with me giving a C+,
and Brandon a C-, and Austin a C+,
you are doubling it.
As much as a Saints,
as much as that S brought us up to a Priest,
I feel like the W has to bring us down significantly
to like, it's not for everybody.
Either D-, or an F+.
I would say D-, yeah, D-, I couldn't give it a half.
D- is okay with three against one, D- is okay.
Oh, I'm gonna double, I feel like it holds up extra weight.
What did Chris Farley pass with in that one,
that one Chris Farley film, remember?
Shrek?
No, Chris Farley in Shrek?
I think Chris Farley played Shrek
until they had to recast it with Mike Myers.
That was gonna be Chris Farley?
Yeah, it was originally gonna be him.
That's great.
No, uh.
Without the Irish accent.
The one where he's like, Herbie Hancock,
remember he's in school and he's trying to,
I forget which fucking Chris Farley movie it was.
It was either Black Sheep?
Okay.
Or. What's the.
But he goes to check his grade to see if he passed,
he's like D-, I fucking passed!
Like, with the, just barely.
Okay.
So then we'll do that, just, we'll do D-,
I'm gonna make a box around this,
I'm also gonna put obscure Chris Farley.
It's definitely an obscure, I just can't remember the title.
Cause there's, you know, it's one of those him
and David Spade.
It's gotta be either Black Sheep or Tommy Boy,
one of the two.
All right, well everybody,
this has been one of our regular episodes.
Recreational recommendations?
Oh yeah, good lord, I was gonna.
I'm gonna maybe skip it.
But fuck it, yeah, we'll do a quick one.
Yeah, all right, go for it.
Louder Milk on Netflix, Ron Livingston,
he used to be a critic and he was an addict.
He got into an accident, his wife lost her leg,
and now he's like the head of a sobriety group,
like where they all sit in a circle and talk.
Sure.
And Will Sasso's a character in it too,
he's like another main character.
Super, just a super funny movie, it's based in Seattle.
Every episode starts with him arguing with somebody
about something mid-school, like he sees a guy vaping
and he's just talking shit to the guy
who's vaping the whole time.
It's just fucking hilarious, like just jokes
all just tucked in there, lettered like so subtle.
And it's a great show.
So it's a funny show.
It's really funny.
It sounded serious for a moment.
Ron Livingston is from Office Space, correct?
Yes.
Okay, that sells it for me.
And the kind of character he plays is kind of like
if he never broke out of that relaxation trance,
and also just didn't give a fuck and was an asshole.
You know what Ron Livingston is great in?
Band of Brothers.
Have you ever seen that?
No.
So Band of, just real quick,
I mean I know this is recommendation time,
but Band of Brothers, Austin,
it's a Steven Spielberg produced,
so it has the same, I would say near same production value
quality as Saving Private Ryan,
because it's same production company.
And so it's an HBO show where it opens with real life,
they get the guys from World War II,
they're old men, they interview,
talking about the shit we're about to watch, right?
Like how was basic training in World War II?
They're like, oh it was rough, blah blah blah,
they're talking about it, whatever.
And then it just cuts to one of the most perfect
World War II 10 episode drama series of all time,
you see from, you see Easy Company from,
going from boot camp all the way to the end of World War II.
Whatever that means, I don't want to ruin it,
but the whole time, every single time,
you meet the characters,
and there are some dudes that are so in real life badass
that it's like you can't even believe it.
There was a moment where there was two,
like the Germans, because this is,
they do Germany for Band of Brothers,
and then what's awesome is about,
I don't know, five, six years later,
they did the Pacific, which is equally as good.
A lot of people maybe haven't seen the Pacific,
but it's another 10 episodes where they do the same shit.
It is amazing, and that's what's happening in Japan
on that Pacific side.
But in this one, they're the trench worker.
There's Germans on one side, Americans on the other,
and they've been entrenched for either hours or days.
And this one dude shows up, I forgot his fucking name,
and I should remember it,
because it's like a historical fucking name, cool guy.
But he shows up, and he's like,
what seems to be the problem?
It's like, well, we've been entrenched or whatever.
Just takes his little machine gun that he had,
his little sub machine gun, whatever,
he just runs across the field at the Germans,
just fucking fire, and the Germans are like,
what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?
And they start, it's like, oh, god damn it,
and they start pulling their guns out,
and by the time they even start doing anything,
fucking Americans are charging over,
they fuck, they wreck the Germans,
just fucking take it like they,
one of the best shows of all time,
that could be my wreck, I do have another one,
but it's not going to be, Mike, what's yours?
Mine is to watch the documentary behind me.
I can't even remember the name of it now,
I watched it the other day, it's got a weird name.
Oh, there's a Boondock Saints diary.
Well, it's not, it's a documentary,
it's about the making of this, and the follow up,
and all the, and the Duffy character.
There's a documentary about this movie making,
and what happened afterwards, and why it took so many years,
and him having to sue him.
It's just an interesting watch of the behind the scenes stuff,
not about making the movie, but about
what happens in movie making, basically.
Is this a legitimate, like, documentary,
or is this some guy sitting behind a computer
with me on live? No, it's Shout TV,
it's an hour and 20 minutes, a legit documentary.
It's a Boon documentary.
Yeah.
Hey.
I was holding on that.
Yeah, I was, cause I kinda took a deep dive
and watched that after that.
That sounds cool, I wrote it down.
Yeah.
My recommendation is a game called Dustborn,
and it's a very fun, sort of choose your own adventure style
with some light combat thrown in, very cool graphics,
very cool camera work, music's fun,
you're like a bunch of mutants, basically,
you get powers, whatever, you're trying to hide that.
Yeah, except for, what's the problem?
Yeah, I was gonna get to that.
But, and also, the fun thing is that you're disguised
as a punk band, and there's a lot of fun mini games
where you're writing music and performing music,
along with some combat, and there's a whole government,
you know, fascist, anti-government,
like, whole thing going on, which is great.
But, I played this, I played about three or four hours,
and I was like, damn, I like this, this is fun,
what a cool thing.
Didn't really think about the characters,
I mean, they're just interesting characters.
And then I go online to look at the reviews.
This is the wokest fucking game I've ever seen in my life.
Go woke, go broke, I've played one hour of this,
and I threw it in the fucking trash,
metaphorically, because I bought it online.
And I was like, I was like, what the fuck are they talking
about, and I look at it, and I was like, oh, I guess,
there's only one white guy on the group of four,
and there's a black chick, I guess,
and then a white chick, and then another white person, so.
Sounds like the show I'm watching, Supercell.
Supercell. Supercell I've heard of.
It's on Netflix, but it's like, basically,
the boys, if they were all black.
Oh, that's, that sounds tough. And British.
I'll take black British, the boys.
I tried watching Misfits, and that was one of those things
that I always, like, want to get into, and then I stop.
Halfway through the pilot, I don't know why.
Or maybe I get through the pilot,
I never watch the second episode,
but it's short seasons, I should.
It's also British, this is six episodes,
it's kind of the same thing.
That's what I'm saying, that's why I brought up, yeah.
It's British, just like that, it's British,
and it starts slow, the same, yeah.
I'll tell you this. The first episode's mostly, yeah.
Most British shows are six episodes,
which I absolutely love.
I am a big British TV show guy,
one of the best TV shows, if you're going drama,
would be Luther, with Idris Elba.
Yeah, Idris Elba, yeah.
But if we're going comedy-wise,
and you can find this right now on YouTube,
go type in Big Fat Quiz, and watch any of those,
because they're an hour and a half long,
it's Jimmy Carr hosting, and it's a bunch of celebrities
just doing a live quiz, and just having the time
of their lives, like Richard Ayoade's on there all the time.
Phenomenal.
But then there's also eight out of nine cats do Countdown,
which is phenomenal. Which I watch a lot, yeah.
Do you watch Countdown at all?
Are you a traditional Countdown fan?
I don't even know what the fuck that is.
Countdown, they get a hot chick to flip numbers over,
Wheel of Fortune style,
and then they literally sit there
and do math problems with it on air.
Sounds super boring, which the original one kind of is,
but Jimmy Carr and his improv group,
eight out of nine cats, took over Countdown once,
and they did like a comedy version of it,
where Jimmy Carr hosted, he's like,
let's just have fun with this.
Such a hit, it's a thing.
So now you watch eight out of nine cats do Countdown,
which is the name of the show, and it's really funny.
Because it's comedians doing math,
sometimes they're great at it,
but the whole time is when they flip the timer up
and you get the 30 seconds or whatever,
they do shenanigans.
And some of the shenanigans are fucking, so funny.
Jimmy Carr, fully-
Now that you said Jimmy Carr was involved,
maybe I'll check that out.
Oh no, it's hilarious.
And the chick is amazing.
Oh, she's brilliant.
And she's one of the hottest chicks on the planet, I think.
She's the smartest, funniest,
one of the smartest and funniest
and hottest chicks on the planet.
She's an 11 out of 10.
So anyway, we're done.
Okay, this is the end of the episode.
This is the end of the episode.
Oh, next week's movie.
I'm so sorry, yeah, god damn it.
Been a long episode, Mike.
What are we doing next week?
Next week, wanted to go sci-fi.
Yeah, that's what you said earlier this week.
Singularity is the name of the movie.
Never heard of it.
John Cusack, 2017.
It's post-apocalyptic AI-
What year?
2017, post-apocalyptic AI takes over and kills us all.
Kills like 80% of the population.
Well, at first you said sci-fi.
It's the name of the movie I've never heard of
and I was worried.
Then you said John Cusack, kind of fixed everything.
This is one of my favorite actors.
I really like him in a lot of movies.
Check out, we'll talk about it next week.
Sure we will.
Welcome to the two and a half hour director's cut.
Well, this was two movies.
You knew what you were getting into
when you clicked this fucking link.
Well, everybody, this has been Fried Rice Podcast.
With me, as always, is Austin.
I always appreciate him taking the time
to drive out here each week.
It's insane that he does.
I hope that one day we're profitable enough
that I can pay him to take that gas
as a tax credit or something.
It's fair.
The goal, all as we are, is all as we are.
With me, as always, is Michael,
as much as we like to, as much as we do get into it,
I think we all know that it's just a play, argument.
We're just arguing to just flex our brains.
It's just a brain workout
that we like doing with each other.
Larsen.
Have a good weekend.
And I have been your host, Andy Rice,
and of course, I'm not gonna say the ending
because I fuck it up.
We are Fried Rice Podcast.
We've been fried, we've been rice,
we've been podcast.
You gotta say it with some fucking-
We've been fried, we've been rice,
we've been podcast, bye.
Well, what the hell?
Now we're gonna be canceled.
Bye, everyone.
USSR UNIVERSITY