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The

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This is what we get when

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But if you want something done right, I'll do it myself.

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And Splish Splash, we're taking a bath.

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Welcome everybody to the Waterist episode

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of Fried Rice Podcast.

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Wow, that long hit got me right off the bat.

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Waterist isn't a word.

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I'm Andy Rice, your host.

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This is Fried Rice Podcast.

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Let's get fried.

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I did that wrong.

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And with me, as always, is Austin.

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He swam underwater like a fish person

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three hours to be here super fast.

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Farrell.

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Check me out on maximum exposure.

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It's Michael.

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He is a smoker, just like in the movies.

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And yet, even though he's full of carcinogens,

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he still won't die.

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Larson.

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Ex-smoker, thank you.

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Ex-smoker, I know, I know.

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But you have your little Nick pen.

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That's Nick.

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No, I'm considering that a smoker.

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I do both, you fuckens.

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Filthy smokers.

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Let me take another hit off of this bong.

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He's a filthy smoker.

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So welcome, everybody, to the.

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Brennan could not make it.

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Actually, no, he's right there.

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There he is.

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Yeah, look, little Brennan.

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Just as quiet as him, too.

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Little Brennan in the corner.

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We have a little Weed Buddy.

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If you want one of those, reach out to Austin's mom

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via our website, friedricepodcast.com.

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Just reach out on our little comment section on the bottom,

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and we'll put you in touch with her,

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and we'll get you a Weed Buddy.

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Or don't.

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It's cool.

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Whatever.

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I don't care.

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Oh, yeah, you're anti-mom right now, aren't you?

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Even though she's a wonderful woman who supports this podcast

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and we love her.

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I don't care.

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I'm winking at the camera.

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So everybody, welcome.

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This is the Waterworld slash.

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We are going to talk a little bit about the Postman,

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even though we might have a live The Postman viewing at a bar

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soon.

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We will put comments in the.

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Well, we'll let you guys know ahead of time.

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They're down.

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We just have to set a date.

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So we're going to set a date, and we'll

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let you guys know so that you guys can come join us

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in Lake Havasu at the Glitch Barcadiam, a video game bar,

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where we will do a laser disk viewing of The Postman

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with an intermission on flipping the disk.

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While doing a podcast, watching it,

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live commentary on the movie.

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Obviously, you can't watch it with us.

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They're working on something on their end.

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They're talking about doing a Twitch.

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I also suggested that they do kick as well,

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since they're a little more creator-friendly

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and a little more lax with their rules.

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So we might be able to stream it.

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Fuck yeah.

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So keep an eye out for that.

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We will let you know.

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But today, it's all about water roll.

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But first, our very famous segment, the What Are We

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Smoking segment.

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Roll the music.

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There's no music.

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It's by the Talking Heads or Talking Bombs.

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But that's why I keep getting mixed up,

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because there's a Talking Heads band.

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Talking Bombs.

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They haven't gotten me the clip yet.

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So I don't think the last couple episodes have had it.

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But we will put it in there.

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They're really cool.

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So we are smoking.

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I got some shit today.

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I got this Fade Co. Indoor Premium Smalls.

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And it's Roll's Choice.

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So I don't think it fits anything.

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I think they just threw in a bunch of nugs,

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little tiny nugs.

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But it was a 7 grams for $30 at Jars on their discount.

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No, no, sorry.

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Not Jars.

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Story.

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Story Cannabis, which took over Jars out here.

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And they have this.

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The reason I keep going back is they have a discount shelf.

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They have an actual discount shelf.

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And the discount shelf is fucking awesome.

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I bought so many animals.

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So did I.

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I bought six or seven packs of Starburst.

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$3 each.

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They were $3.

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Yeah.

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And they had vapes, which I bought.

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And those actually kind of sucked.

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They looked immediately dark on the inside.

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Like, you know how when you get a vape,

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you want it to be that golden nectar color?

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And when it's dark, something's wrong with it.

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It looks like something.

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It's aged, it's spoiled, or whatever, if that's possible.

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But I mean, it is possible.

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If you look at all my old cards, which I have hundreds of them,

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because I always feel like one day I'm

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going to extract that last little bit of wax out of them.

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Waxed out of the tin of me.

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Which I never do.

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And if you look at them, they're all the same dark color

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that I got.

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So I think these are just expired.

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And they're like, fuck it.

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We'll sell it to you for $8, you know, expired part.

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I can't relate.

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Yeah, I know.

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You don't do vape.

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Also, yeah.

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So I like the discounts.

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They kept the BOGO for jeeters.

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So I'm OK with that.

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I think the jeeters were a little bit more expensive than.

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And every $40, they give you a free joint.

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Is it every $40?

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Well, I've spent more than $40 there every time

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and haven't received shit.

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How good is that?

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I think they're a penny.

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Oh, you know what?

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Fuck.

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Someone handed me a free joint.

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I have a free joint token in my wallet right now.

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It's a little wood token that says free joint.

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And I keep forgetting about it.

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Jars does the same thing.

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Like, you get a free eighth if you spend over $100.

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Oh, I trust you.

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I know that.

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And you have to remind them to do it every time.

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I've never.

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They've been like, oh, you get a free eighth.

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No, you just.

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I'm just like, yeah, and for the free eighth,

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just whatever's clever.

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That's the way we all treat coupons when it worked to you.

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It's like, oh, you didn't ask.

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Sorry.

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Why is this cost so much?

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That's the fucking rules, guys.

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I will say this, though.

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I took a $208 order just the other day

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to a family that paid full price for all their pizzas.

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And I was fucking happy about it because they

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didn't tip me one cent.

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Like, you take a $200.

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It was like a 10 pizza plus sides like order.

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It's huge.

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Like, you're going to tip a guy $5 just for helping you out

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for bringing two bags full of shit up to the door?

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I have something for this.

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And it's people, just the way they tip delivery drivers

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is just fucking insane.

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There's a lot of good ones out there.

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They'll like at least give you.

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10 bucks for nothing.

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10 bucks.

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For nothing, just making the drive.

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Yeah, $20 order that'll give you 10 bucks.

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The weather was, I saw one guy came out

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and gave me an extra five bucks on top of the seven bucks

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he put on there because he's like, the weather's

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looking a little rough, man.

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I appreciate you making the drive.

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That's the same thing when I'm door dashing.

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When you're door dashing, once you get to platinum level,

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you have to have a high acceptance rate.

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Your acceptance rate has to be at least 70%.

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If you go below that, every order you decline

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brings it down 1%.

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And just the other day, I went from 90% to 70%

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because all the orders were like $4 to drive 30 fucking miles.

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$4 to pick up 30 items at Safeway.

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Like all these cheap motherfuckers.

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Yeah.

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It's insane.

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That's, yeah, I hate it.

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Insane, dude.

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If you're going to pay someone $4 to drive to the store,

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shop for half an hour, and then drive to your fucking house

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20 miles away, and you think that's worth $4, dude?

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Suck a dick.

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You actually have to go in and get the stuff.

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Yeah.

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They don't just have it ready.

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Sometimes they do have it already,

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and sometimes you have to go find everything.

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And then it just becomes a whole hassle.

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But yeah, that's ridiculous.

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I'm a platinum.

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I have almost, I'm 4.95 rating.

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That's because one dipshit gave me

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a one star out of the 98 five stars that I have.

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Why did the guy give you a one star?

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Probably because it took too long or something.

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I don't know.

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I have no idea.

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I'm a great, I've completed over 1,700 deliveries

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as the door datcher.

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Wow.

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And that's the only fucking bad review I got.

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I don't even know what it was.

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What sucks with our job is that it doesn't give you.

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OK.

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I feel better now.

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Yeah.

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Trust me, you're talking to the right people here.

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If anyone's going to believe, if anyone's going to be like,

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oh, we get it, buddy.

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Like, yeah.

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And then people are like, oh, well, then

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go get a real fucking job.

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It's like, no, this is a real job.

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It's just people have the opportunity to fuck us over,

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and they mostly choose that.

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Yeah.

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It's weird when people say go get a real job,

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and they refer to truck drivers as what they're doing

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isn't the same thing.

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Now, I understand.

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Driving a truck, the reason I don't do it

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is because it's a lot more responsibility, a lot more

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pressure, and a lot bigger of a vehicle where a lot more

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can go wrong.

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I don't want all that.

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So I get that they get paid a lot more than me

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because they're driving around a lot of shit.

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They're doing one super big delivery.

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But it's still a delivery.

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But for us, we have to navigate the streets safely,

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deal with other drivers who don't treat us like a truck.

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That's the thing.

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A truck you know is there, and you're either avoiding it or,

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I mean, I'm sure they get cut off constantly,

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and that's probably got to be annoying.

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But at the same time, they're just going.

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You can't get mad at a truck driver

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for showing up when a truck driver shows up.

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But I don't know.

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People get mad at us if the pizza's five minutes late.

269
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,000
They'll call the store if the pizza feels

270
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,480
like it's about 10 minutes later than they typically

271
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,000
get it, which is 10 minutes after they order.

272
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,580
We're so fucking fast at our store.

273
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,160
Some people order the food, and they get it,

274
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,280
and they don't believe that we've made it fresh.

275
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,480
I had someone stop me and go, is this hot and ready?

276
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,840
Did you just grab a pepperoni pizza or whatever?

277
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:38,960
Absolutely not.

278
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,840
When you were placing it online, we see your order

279
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,120
before you place it.

280
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,640
We see what you're trying to place when you're on the app.

281
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:46,960
And then it just shows up there.

282
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,500
So we make all your shit.

283
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:52,560
And then when you place the order, 30 seconds later,

284
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,840
we're putting it in the oven.

285
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,080
And then six minutes after that, you get a driver like me.

286
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:02,400
It's in a bag 20 seconds later, and I'm out on Highway 95

287
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,080
less than a minute after that.

288
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,200
I'm running out the door.

289
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,520
We're out of the store generally within 10 minutes.

290
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,020
Yeah.

291
00:10:08,020 --> 00:10:09,280
Great campaign speech.

292
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:10,080
For Domino's.

293
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,640
Go order Domino's.

294
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:12,640
Ask for the mix and match.

295
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:13,720
Don't be a fucking idiot.

296
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:17,040
If you go to any restaurant or any place that's not

297
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,680
like a fancy restaurant, even fancy restaurants

298
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,720
have specials, go ask them.

299
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:22,920
Anyway, what are we smoking?

300
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:23,720
When you brought some stuff.

301
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,220
All right.

302
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,560
So I had a shit ton of points at jars,

303
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,000
so I just cashed in big time on a bunch of pre-rolls.

304
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,440
So I'll let you guys pick which one to get.

305
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,080
We got Legend OG.

306
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,400
They're all Indica, by the way.

307
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,480
Legend OG, one gram, 20.1%.

308
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:44,600
Then we have Midnight Roast, which is 18.69.

309
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:49,960
And then Slurdy is 18.29.

310
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:53,040
Well, you go off of numbers, it'd be Legend.

311
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,760
If you went off of names, Midnight Roast.

312
00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,600
But at the same time, what percentage

313
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,680
has it ever meant to anything?

314
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,880
Right.

315
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:04,560
18.6.

316
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,680
I'm going to go 18.69, because once she's 18, you get 69.

317
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,200
Wow, that's the worst way you could have made that.

318
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,440
But thank you.

319
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,640
I feel dirty holding this now, because you

320
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,640
had to end it on when she's 18.

321
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,140
Enjoy.

322
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,560
Yeah, you get 69.

323
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,440
Well, thank you.

324
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,760
We will smoke that in a little bit.

325
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,120
All right.

326
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,040
We had a great show at Lighthouse.

327
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:24,760
Oh, fuck yeah.

328
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,160
I pre-gamed at Glitch, a little too hard.

329
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,440
Then pre-gamed more at the venue, a little too hard.

330
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,120
Got to meet Jose Ramon.

331
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,840
And I'm telling him how much I don't smoke.

332
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,400
He's up in the private area smoking.

333
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,920
And I'm like, yeah, I don't smoke.

334
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:42,000
By the time I enter the stage, I am fucked up.

335
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,160
And I completely forgot what my set was going to be

336
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,600
for about maybe 30 seconds.

337
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,680
I had some jokes about the audience.

338
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,720
One guy was talking about weed, and someone else

339
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:53,680
said it was their birthday.

340
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,320
And I got up there, and I was like,

341
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,520
I don't have any weed for you, and I don't give a fuck

342
00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,960
if it's your birthday.

343
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:02,640
And I was like, I used to live here.

344
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,520
I don't live here anymore.

345
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,000
And I said I don't live here anymore about two more times

346
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,680
before I remembered what my set was.

347
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,400
And I took you a while to get started.

348
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,440
And I got started, did my set, went OK.

349
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,120
And then I ended on a joke that I just pulled out

350
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:21,360
of my ass about the bartender Devin, because he used to work.

351
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,120
I had my Jeremy's Juke Joint shirt.

352
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,040
So I got the crowd back.

353
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:25,960
I was like, yeah, I used to go to Jeremy's Juke

354
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,320
Joint all the time, rest in peace, because it's gone now.

355
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,920
Everyone was like, whoa.

356
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,120
I was like, Devin used to work there.

357
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,080
Devin used to get me so fucked up.

358
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,280
I would come in the next morning and be like, man,

359
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:37,280
I was hammered last night.

360
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:37,800
What happened?

361
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,840
He's like, oh, man, you were drinking cocktails.

362
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,120
You were playing with cocktails.

363
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,120
You had cocktails in your mouth.

364
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:43,520
I'm like, why are you saying those?

365
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:44,160
So weird.

366
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,800
I always have cocktails when I come here.

367
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,600
And he's like, no, cocktails is the guy from the band.

368
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,240
And I ended on that.

369
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,240
And I hung out for the rest of the show.

370
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:57,920
And then Jose Ramon is smoking outside the venue.

371
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,880
And we're all talking, and I just

372
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,440
end up smoking a joint with him.

373
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,480
And I don't smoke.

374
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,200
The whole time.

375
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:04,840
I don't smoke.

376
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:05,120
I don't smoke.

377
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,160
I don't smoke.

378
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:06,720
I don't smoke.

379
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,080
And then, all right, I'll smoke this joint.

380
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:08,800
That always happens.

381
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,840
If I'm drunk enough, I'll get baked.

382
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:11,440
Good to know.

383
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:15,320
But Sean, my knight in shining armor, was like, hey,

384
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:16,320
meet me back at my place?

385
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,600
Or I'm like, yeah, man, I'll meet you there.

386
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,680
And he's like, no, you're coming with me.

387
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,040
Get in.

388
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,280
Oh, so he DD'd you all?

389
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:24,720
Yeah.

390
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:25,800
I wouldn't have driven.

391
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,520
I would have realized I am too fucked up to drive.

392
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,480
I need someone to take me home.

393
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:31,520
Well, that's great.

394
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,280
Thank you, Sean Perry.

395
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,080
And if you want to hear more from Sean Perry,

396
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,400
listen to our Wednesday Night Book Club that's

397
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,760
coming out next week about, well,

398
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,080
that came out a week or two ago.

399
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,120
We don't know how time works.

400
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,720
Yeah, how time works, called About Tender

401
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,960
is the Flesh, a Cannibalism Book.

402
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,800
Ooh.

403
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,360
I pushed you to finish that book.

404
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:51,960
Yeah.

405
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:56,840
You got two chapters in, and you were like, oh, this is brutal.

406
00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:01,400
Wait till October and listen to our episode on torture porn,

407
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,920
and I will fill you in on some things.

408
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,280
So just wait till that.

409
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,960
Wait a couple of months, people.

410
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,560
It's worth waiting for.

411
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,760
Did Andy seem different at work this week?

412
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:11,320
Oh, yeah.

413
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:11,680
Very different.

414
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:12,240
No, trust me.

415
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,160
What I watched.

416
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,520
He's listening to that book, and he's just like.

417
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:16,040
No, no, no.

418
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,160
OK, well, we'll get into it.

419
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:17,880
We'll get into it.

420
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:19,040
We can't get sidetracked.

421
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:19,880
Let's talk.

422
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:20,960
All right.

423
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,680
Because trust me.

424
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,600
A lot of fun content coming out of the pipes.

425
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,800
Yeah.

426
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,320
Wait for the torture porn episode of our Halloween special

427
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:32,320
in October, and you will remember this if you can.

428
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:32,840
OK.

429
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,720
And we'll try to bring this up again if possible.

430
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,200
All right.

431
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:39,720
So let's get into it, because it's a big movie.

432
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,080
We got a lot to cover.

433
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,720
We're talking about fucking Kevin Costner's Waterworld,

434
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,120
baby.

435
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,240
This, I picked it.

436
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:48,280
This is an Andy pick.

437
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,800
This is one of my best ones, if you ask me.

438
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:55,800
One of the top picks that I think I picked for the podcast.

439
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,320
It's a.

440
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:59,320
You know that's not saying much, right?

441
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,800
I picked some bangers, dude.

442
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:05,080
But people liked the nines.

443
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,000
Not Austin, but other people liked the.

444
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:07,840
I like the ending.

445
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,480
I liked the ending of the nines.

446
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,480
When it ended.

447
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:16,200
So we watched Waterworld end, for the record.

448
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:18,160
We pick everything that's on Tubi.

449
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,680
Austin watched Waterworld on Tubi this week,

450
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,520
but Mike and I went outside of Tubi

451
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,120
to find the extended versions.

452
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,640
I didn't watch the extended version,

453
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,800
but I watched commercial version.

454
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,280
Oh, so you watched the 215 version.

455
00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,160
It was on Paramount or Peacock.

456
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,920
OK, so you both watched the regular version.

457
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:35,320
Two hours, 15 minutes.

458
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:35,960
I watched the.

459
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,200
More like three hours with all the ads.

460
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,440
It felt like three hours.

461
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,800
Yours must have felt like five.

462
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,640
Mine was two hours and 57 minutes,

463
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,600
which is the exact same runtime as the Postman.

464
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,400
So it's just weird that it's two hours and 57 minutes.

465
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,720
The Ulysses cut of Waterworld.

466
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,720
And then I watched Postman right after,

467
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,120
which is another two hours and 57 minutes.

468
00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:58,760
So it's just weird timing.

469
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,640
And there's so many similarities.

470
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,120
That's what I'm going to do is as we go through Waterworld,

471
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,480
I'm just going to point out a few similarities to Postman.

472
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,520
Because all you need to know about Postman

473
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,480
is it's post-apocalyptic.

474
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,080
There's a Shakespearean army running around.

475
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:19,800
You have a guy who he takes a postal services guy's jacket

476
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,720
and letters to burn for fire.

477
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,280
And people mistake him for a postman.

478
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,480
He ends up leaning into it and starting

479
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,000
an army of his own eventually.

480
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,640
And it becomes this epic post-apocalyptic war movie

481
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,080
with America being restarted.

482
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,160
It's fucking awesome.

483
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,280
Postman apocalyptic?

484
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,080
Postman.

485
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,880
It's a postman apocalyptic world.

486
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,960
All right, so Waterworld.

487
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,320
We have the best Universal logo of all time

488
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,360
because it's the Universal following Earth.

489
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,920
The Universal goes away.

490
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:57,880
And you start to see the sea, the water rise and land go away.

491
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,040
Holy shit.

492
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,520
Who cares graphics wise?

493
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,880
It looked awesome.

494
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,920
That's like one of the more ingenious ways

495
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,080
that you start a movie.

496
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,520
I was hooked immediately thinking, awesome, let's go.

497
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,080
So I just thought that was fucking cool.

498
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,200
I remembered seeing that the first time I saw the movie.

499
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,600
My parents covered my eyes when that chick got naked on the poop.

500
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,400
But did she really not?

501
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,520
You saw her butt.

502
00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,120
Yeah, she was naked though.

503
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,120
I mean, yeah, that is naked.

504
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,080
She was just faced the other way.

505
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:24,720
First difference between.

506
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,920
Am I not naked if I take all my clothes off and turn my back

507
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:28,360
to you?

508
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:28,920
You're right.

509
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:29,720
I'm not naked.

510
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:30,240
Tee hee.

511
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,280
You can't see.

512
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,720
First difference between Waterworld and Postman

513
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:41,880
is when the hot brunette chick that he's not going to sleep with

514
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,880
but then does gets naked.

515
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,360
It's from the back.

516
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:48,080
It's clothes drop and you see a shot.

517
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,840
It's the exact same shot except one's obviously on a boat,

518
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,920
one's in a house.

519
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,080
But then what makes Postman different.

520
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:55,520
Might be the same girl.

521
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,560
No, it's not.

522
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,160
But it's not.

523
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:57,880
It came out first.

524
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,560
Because this was not her in this movie.

525
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:01,960
Oh, you're talking about it might

526
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,600
be the same nude stunt double.

527
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,680
Yeah.

528
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,480
Which movie came out first?

529
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:10,640
Postman was 97, I think, and Waterworld was 95.

530
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,960
But in Postman, the actress, well, you know it's her

531
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,280
because then we get some titties.

532
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,200
So Postman gives you the tits, Waterworld doesn't.

533
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,360
So I don't know how that weighs your grading, Mike,

534
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:24,160
specifically.

535
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,720
I don't know if that's going to bring it down a letter

536
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,600
but knowing that you could have had titties.

537
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,240
43 minutes and 30 seconds in my cut of it.

538
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,440
Of titties?

539
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,200
Ass.

540
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:34,720
Oh, ass.

541
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,640
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

542
00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:36,480
So we open?

543
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,840
Mike's tits, I'm ass.

544
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:39,560
Mike's tits?

545
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,760
What?

546
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,440
Mike is tits, I'm ass.

547
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,120
Oh, you didn't enunciate.

548
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,120
You said Michael's tits on an ass.

549
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:48,680
And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

550
00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:51,240
Mike's tits, I'm ass.

551
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,640
Mike's tits on my ass is what you said.

552
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:58,560
All right, I'm never going to have sex or be horny again.

553
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,920
All you have to say is Michael is an enthusiast of breasts.

554
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,680
While I seem to enjoy the dairy air of women.

555
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,920
And I would absolutely know what you were talking about.

556
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:11,520
If it was 1942, I would give you a custom, personalized Nug

557
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:15,400
Buddy if someone draws Andy with Mike's tits on his ass.

558
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,920
Oh, god, that's a $45 value, people.

559
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,160
Just go to friedricepodcast.com.

560
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,320
Go to the feedback or send it to friedricepodcast.gmail.com.

561
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:26,360
Any of our socials.

562
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,320
Any of our socials you send in our way,

563
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,880
we'll send you a customized weed Nug Buddy to your specs.

564
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,000
You want it to look like a boyfriend you never had,

565
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,800
a girlfriend you never had, yourself, a child that maybe

566
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,360
you lost in labor, whatever makes

567
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:42,280
you feel better about a Nug Buddy to give you comfort.

568
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,680
See, for me, it's Brennan's not here.

569
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,320
So we have little Brennan, little Nug Brennan.

570
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,440
And it makes me feel happy.

571
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,160
I don't know why I brought up the labor thing.

572
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,200
So we open with the Mariner, the most iconic shot

573
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,360
of movie history.

574
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,120
We open with the Mariner, that's his name, by the way,

575
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,240
throughout the thing, pissing into a machine that

576
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,040
turns his urine, his very clear urine, by the way,

577
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,400
which I like that as a note.

578
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,280
Because the more water you drink, the clearer your urine.

579
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,160
So I feel like he's not drinking soda,

580
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,780
and he's not drinking coffee, and he's not

581
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,440
drinking all these other like, and he's not eating.

582
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,520
It's very pure.

583
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:19,800
Yeah, he's just recycling.

584
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:20,840
It's just recycling pee.

585
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,480
So it's like, it would be clear, I think.

586
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,800
So he recycles his own urine, and he drinks it.

587
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,640
And part of me feels, because the way it's shot,

588
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,920
it's like an unbroken shot, part of me

589
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,320
feels like he did just drink his own piss.

590
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,800
Like, they made a machine that maybe he had a bottle,

591
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,720
and he poured the bottle into a machine.

592
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,160
And it really looks like it moves along

593
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,320
and pours in a little cup.

594
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:49,400
So I don't know, it's just some really ingenious stuff.

595
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,760
I've seen a thing like that.

596
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,800
It might have been like Man versus Wild or Survival Man.

597
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,680
But actually, do you remember that show Brainiac?

598
00:20:58,680 --> 00:20:59,180
No.

599
00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:02,240
It was like British science show.

600
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,240
They had all these experiments, like putting things

601
00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,600
in microwaves and shit.

602
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,120
Really good.

603
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:10,240
It was like a before school on Spike TV.

604
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,160
They did a thing where they took a bunch of insecticide pumps,

605
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,760
and they had a guy run piss through it.

606
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,840
They drank it, and he's like, it's great.

607
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:20,880
I would imagine, OK.

608
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,960
I mean, if you have those straws, the life straws,

609
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,720
the survival straws, you've seen those where you can just

610
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:26,880
take the survival straws.

611
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,200
Oh, this is well before those.

612
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:31,000
Unfortunately, he's like, wait a minute.

613
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,440
They could have just made a straw?

614
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:33,200
Yeah.

615
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,440
No, but what I'm saying is technically,

616
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,320
if you could take that and go to,

617
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,440
they say any water source, I think, and just put it in there

618
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,480
and you could drink drinkable water from it,

619
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,280
I think you could do it to your own urine.

620
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,680
I think the problem with those is I believe,

621
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,480
I don't know if they were like just an object.

622
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,640
I think it's like probably something battery powered

623
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,640
or you have to charge it.

624
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,140
No.

625
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:54,920
You think it was like a UV thing?

626
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:55,560
I have one.

627
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,800
It's just a survival straw.

628
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,240
Like Dario got a little filter in it.

629
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,400
It's got to eventually get clogged up over time though.

630
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:05,440
It has a limited number of uses, but it's a survival straw.

631
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,920
I mean, it's like really, you find a source of water,

632
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,440
I think you would just stay there, use it as long as you

633
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,760
can until it'll help you.

634
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:12,920
You know, like that kind of thing.

635
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,520
It's not supposed to be like, now I

636
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,360
can drink anything because I have this straw.

637
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:21,440
I'm just going to go drink, put it in the whatever.

638
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:25,320
So his ship, we get an idea.

639
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,640
Like he runs around, he starts spinning things,

640
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,320
doing all the shit to make us like, see,

641
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,080
we get the ship porn that you would get from anything,

642
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:36,040
any movie that's spent a lot of time working on a ship.

643
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,080
Very cool ship.

644
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,360
Cool design.

645
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:39,320
I like the-

646
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:41,440
I didn't even, even when I saw it, I was like,

647
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,680
that's cool, the turbine, the way the turbine worked.

648
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,480
And then when he did take off, how the sails pop up

649
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,800
and all that, it's very cool.

650
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,400
Yeah, it's an awesome ship.

651
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:51,560
I wonder if anyone's ever made a replica of it

652
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,000
because I feel like it's doable.

653
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,000
And it's just a catamaran, then with all that stuff added on.

654
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,320
Because if I ever wanted a boat, I

655
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,080
would make the Water World boat, probably a smaller version

656
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,520
because his is pretty massive.

657
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:03,800
Like you wouldn't really want to take it out

658
00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:04,920
in the lake or whatever.

659
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,520
But if I had like a smaller version of his boat

660
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,280
with all the gizmos and I spun the thing to move the stuff

661
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,080
and it was like sail, that'd be so much fun.

662
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,240
Little cabin.

663
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,880
I just like it.

664
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,760
There's a little lime tree.

665
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,000
Yeah, little lime tree.

666
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,400
Which, eating limes?

667
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:22,760
I mean, I get it, it's the end of the world.

668
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:23,720
You've got to eat whatever.

669
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,320
No, scurvy, it's an ocean going thing.

670
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:30,000
You have to eat fruit or you will get scurvy.

671
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,560
But like limes, limes of all things.

672
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,040
I believe it's just get hella diarrhea.

673
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:39,080
I might not be mistaken here, but I don't think I am.

674
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:44,200
I believe lemonade came to existence because sailors

675
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,920
did not want to eat lemons.

676
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,120
Lemons tasted sour, they were weird.

677
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:50,320
It was a new fruit, everyone was afraid of it.

678
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:51,480
They were just like, gross, we're not just

679
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,320
going to eat this thing.

680
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,840
But it is to prevent scurvy.

681
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,880
So the governments of the world were like,

682
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,080
or whichever government it was, they really pushed it.

683
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,080
You have to fucking eat lemons, guys.

684
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,720
You need to stop getting scurvy.

685
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,280
So they found a way to like, I think they just

686
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,240
added some sugar and water and made it more palatable.

687
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,160
And then people, that's where we kind of,

688
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,560
the whole lemon craze came from.

689
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,560
Limes last a long time, so that's one of the things

690
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,160
they used to put them on boats because that was.

691
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:21,120
Now, what I loved is I've seen this movie before,

692
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:25,800
maybe three or four, maybe five times throughout my life.

693
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:32,400
And I still forget the twist that there is no dry land,

694
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,600
but then the other twist that there is dry land.

695
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,640
So it's like, I love the double whammy twist.

696
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:39,160
Like when he shows her that there is no dry land,

697
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:40,800
because you see him growing the thing

698
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,080
and he has a bucket full of dirt.

699
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,280
And you're as mesmerized by the fact

700
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,320
that he has dirt as all the people are,

701
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:48,920
because it's like, how did he get dirt?

702
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,200
And then when he tells them, I got it off some traders,

703
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,080
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you believe him.

704
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,320
I believe them.

705
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:57,800
There's no reason not to.

706
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,680
And then when you find out he's just going down deep enough

707
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,920
because he can, and he's getting dirt from the bottom

708
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:08,600
of the ocean or whatever, it's like this sad realization.

709
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,120
But then at the very end, when you find, it's so good.

710
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:15,320
So nothing's free in Waterworld.

711
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:16,440
It's a great line.

712
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,320
I love that.

713
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:20,680
That's how it would be in Waterworld.

714
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:26,640
The Mariner, he kills a few people right off the bat

715
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,680
in that town on his way out.

716
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:34,560
Oh yeah, there's like a weird mutant racism going on.

717
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,800
Yeah, OK, so.

718
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,920
Well, because once they find out he's a,

719
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:38,880
yeah, you skipped a bunch.

720
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,360
They find out he's a mute.

721
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,840
And at first they wanted to see.

722
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,120
At first it was all cool till they saw his gills.

723
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:46,600
Yeah, no, they wanted his cum.

724
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,280
And then they found out he was a mutant.

725
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:49,560
They're like, we don't want your cum anymore.

726
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,080
Actually, we're going to kill you.

727
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:54,240
Yeah, I think.

728
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:59,440
Yeah, so he gets into this town.

729
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,480
And they, yeah, they have the weird,

730
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:06,680
like they find out that he has gills and shit, which I am,

731
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,040
you know me, I am not, I don't want us to have mutants.

732
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:10,760
Kill him, right?

733
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:11,440
That's your role.

734
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,280
I don't want mutants existing.

735
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,320
You know, like if we really did have an X-Men running around,

736
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:22,080
I would be on the Sentinel program as soon as I could.

737
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,360
Because I'm just like, why would we want

738
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,000
a Wolverine running around?

739
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,880
Would you want a Wolverine running around?

740
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,440
Honestly?

741
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:29,360
Maybe an X-23.

742
00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:30,760
We'd send him to Ukraine.

743
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:31,640
No, no, no, we wouldn't.

744
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:32,440
Because here's the thing.

745
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,000
Here's what people don't understand.

746
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,720
The moment you have super powered mutants,

747
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:38,800
and the moment you have a Wolverine,

748
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,800
and the moment you have a Professor X-type, it's over.

749
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:44,680
Because the moment that someone can start brain

750
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,720
controlling a Wolverine and having

751
00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,720
them do whatever the fuck they want them to do,

752
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,920
and he's an invincible, unbreakable killing machine,

753
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:53,640
I don't want that.

754
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:58,080
So what we got to do is the moment somebody shows up

755
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:01,040
with gills, yeah.

756
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,560
What about Storm?

757
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:03,120
What about her?

758
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:04,720
She could end world hunger.

759
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,000
But that's for God to decide, not Storm.

760
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,040
All right, let those kids starve.

761
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,280
Andy Rice, everybody.

762
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:17,160
But we don't know what the ramifications of, say,

763
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,720
going to the deserts and making it look like a rainforest

764
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,080
would be for the rest of the world.

765
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:24,400
More oxygen?

766
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,160
Yeah, but it would also cause severe weather, extreme weather.

767
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,600
It would probably cause hurricanes here

768
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,640
in Arizona somehow.

769
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,160
Because the Earth has to adapt to its new environment.

770
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,480
Especially if you straight up, if Storm was just like,

771
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,280
all right, here's an area of the world that

772
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,640
hasn't seen water for hundreds of years.

773
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,560
Let me just make it a rainforest.

774
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,240
And the Earth wouldn't know what to do.

775
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,120
It would like, you know what I'm saying?

776
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:53,280
Because even us, global warming, us going up by a couple percent,

777
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,840
like our degrees of global temperature

778
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,880
is enough to cause severe extreme weather all over the place.

779
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,600
And you add a greenhouse effect to it

780
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,640
by adding another layer of rainforest or something.

781
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:07,200
Who knows what could happen?

782
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,000
So you got to think about it.

783
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,840
Storm just runs around willy nilly just,

784
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,000
I call the power of the storm!

785
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,920
Water, hear my cry!

786
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:17,280
And she doesn't think about the fucking ramifications

787
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,440
of worldwide, like, catastrophe.

788
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,440
If the ex-member real, you would want a rogue.

789
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,280
Doesn't she take their powers away?

790
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,920
Yeah, but who's rogue working for?

791
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,560
And what is she doing with those powers?

792
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:29,280
You.

793
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:29,840
She works for you.

794
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:30,760
Why would she work for me?

795
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:31,560
To make all the.

796
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,240
I'm Andy Rice of Fried Rice Podcast.

797
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,360
Why is she working for me?

798
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:36,520
Because you made a good point.

799
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:38,000
And you got a lot of people behind you.

800
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,120
No, I'm just a guy.

801
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,960
You beat Professor X in the elections,

802
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,160
and you're now your president, and you

803
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:43,400
want to get rid of all mutants.

804
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:47,520
So you're employing rogue to touch everybody.

805
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:51,040
We turn on the news tonight, and it's like, breaking news.

806
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:57,480
An X-Men type team has been discovered in China

807
00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,400
as they've raised us.

808
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,360
They have their own team of mutants now.

809
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,160
Would that make you happy?

810
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,040
No.

811
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,800
Sure, it would make it interesting.

812
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:07,320
Boringly.

813
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:08,840
It would make it interesting.

814
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:13,200
So I did write down that once we get into the,

815
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,240
once the smokers show up at this place,

816
00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,360
and they start attacking, I was like, man, they really,

817
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,640
this movie really ripped off that attraction

818
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,520
at Universal Studios.

819
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,560
See the other way around.

820
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:25,920
You know that Waterworld attraction?

821
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:26,560
I get it now.

822
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,000
They should have said based on the Waterworld exhibit

823
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,160
at Universal Studios.

824
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,200
I've seen that show one time when I was a kid.

825
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:34,800
I don't really remember it, though.

826
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:35,720
No, it's so good.

827
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:36,480
It's so good.

828
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,280
It's like, you can't, well, I guess since you haven't,

829
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,000
I've been to Universal Studios a few times,

830
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,600
and I always go to the Waterworld show,

831
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,920
and every single time.

832
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:46,920
It's one of the best stunt shows there is.

833
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,160
They literally fly a plane over the wall at one point,

834
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,680
and they land it into the thing.

835
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,280
You get the guys going underwater on the jet skis

836
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,080
and stuff, and popping up underneath stuff.

837
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,880
It's so fucking cool.

838
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,000
The stunt work in this movie is awesome.

839
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,480
The water stunts that they're doing with the jet skis

840
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,240
with all the boat shit is fucking cool.

841
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,440
Any disagreements there?

842
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:09,040
No.

843
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:09,880
OK.

844
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,520
Because I feel like earlier in the chat,

845
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,000
somebody put that this movie was god awful.

846
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,440
It was Zach who's not here to defend that position.

847
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:18,560
I'll defend it for you.

848
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,080
OK.

849
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,200
OK.

850
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,880
So Tig from Sons of Anarchy is in this movie.

851
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:25,400
Yeah.

852
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,720
And surprisingly so is Jack Black.

853
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,280
Jack Black's in this movie.

854
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:31,760
What?

855
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,120
I was looking for him the whole time,

856
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,320
but I did not see him until I watched the fact video

857
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,160
where it showed where he is in the movie.

858
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,200
He's one of the smokers.

859
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:39,960
Is it with a bunch of grease on his face or whatever?

860
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:40,440
Yeah.

861
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,000
He's sitting down.

862
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,360
Is he the one right under the gun?

863
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:43,800
No.

864
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:44,040
No.

865
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,040
Very briefly, he's in it just sitting down

866
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,840
in a dialogue scene, which is just hilarious.

867
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:50,840
Yeah.

868
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:52,840
Right around the same time Mars attacks,

869
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,040
which was another smallish role, I guess.

870
00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:58,640
It would have been water world, then Mars attacks,

871
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:02,520
and then we get Gulliver's Travel something.

872
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:07,080
He's in some deep shit right now.

873
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,480
Well, sort of.

874
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:09,800
I mean, he's Jack Black.

875
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,880
He'll be fine, but Tenacious D is kind of no more

876
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:16,440
until further notice.

877
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,640
Fuck them gently, right?

878
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:19,140
Yeah.

879
00:31:19,140 --> 00:31:19,640
I mean.

880
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,360
So OK.

881
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,760
Smokers are awesome.

882
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:27,480
I love the main bad guy.

883
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:28,400
What's his name?

884
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:28,920
The actor?

885
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,240
Dennis Hopper?

886
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,800
Who did not phone it in like he did on Space Truckers this time.

887
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:34,300
No.

888
00:31:34,300 --> 00:31:36,480
You say he phoned it in on Space Truckers.

889
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,480
I think he was playing the role.

890
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,360
He chewed the scenery.

891
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:41,160
And I mean.

892
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,280
We had a whole argument about this.

893
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:43,160
You don't remember?

894
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,240
I was like, he's this inner Captain Ahab

895
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,960
with a bad case of sunstroke.

896
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,000
Captain Ahab with sunstroke, yeah.

897
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,520
He did a lot better in this movie, is what I think.

898
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,800
I, well, wait.

899
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,320
Did I, was I pro or against Dennis Hopper's role

900
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:56,960
in Space Truckers?

901
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,560
You didn't like, you thought he didn't

902
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,040
care about the role.

903
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,760
Well, I don't want to contradict myself.

904
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,680
But now, now I'm looking at it through the lens of,

905
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:06,840
I just saw Waterworld.

906
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,080
And I love Dennis Hopper now.

907
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:11,640
So I'm going to say whatever he did for Space Truckers

908
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:12,920
wasn't his fault.

909
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,120
I just think he did.

910
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,840
I've been saying he was bad in Space Truckers.

911
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:17,560
I just think he did a lot better in Waterworld

912
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:18,960
than he did in Space Truckers.

913
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,600
Yeah, I bet when he talks to people and they look at him,

914
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,080
I'm like, I know you from somewhere.

915
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:24,520
He's like, yeah, Waterworld.

916
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,040
He doesn't go, Space Truckers.

917
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,600
That's the one.

918
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,520
And if someone says, no, it was Space Truckers,

919
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,960
he's like, oh, fuck you, then.

920
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:33,600
It was one with Steven Dorff.

921
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,120
And then you guys are like, you have a big old semi-truck

922
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,600
in space?

923
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:39,760
It's like Waterworld.

924
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,400
Yeah, and then that really great actor

925
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,240
was jerking his robot dick.

926
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,880
The BAFTA award-winning Charles Dance

927
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:52,040
has to crank his robot dick to fucking rape a dick.

928
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:53,000
Space Truckers.

929
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,480
To rape Vicki Vowancourt.

930
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,520
Vicki Vowancourt, sort of.

931
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:57,840
Or that chick that looks like her.

932
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,200
Yeah.

933
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:00,800
Fuck, yeah.

934
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:05,720
So we get awesome Dennis Hopper.

935
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,960
Smoking cigarettes, where did he get those?

936
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:10,040
Which one, Dennis Hopper?

937
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,240
Dennis Hopper smoking cigarettes throughout the movie.

938
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,160
And where do you get cigarettes in Waterworld?

939
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,280
I don't know where they got gasoline.

940
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,400
Well, don't they?

941
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:18,640
They live on a big oil tanker.

942
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:19,920
Yeah, but still, gasoline.

943
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,840
And there's that fucking poor little guy.

944
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:22,360
It's gasoline.

945
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,000
Oil takers don't have gasoline.

946
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,240
They got oil.

947
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:26,160
Yeah.

948
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,120
And then they have to take it to a refinery

949
00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:29,240
and refine it into gasoline.

950
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,280
Unless they're just shoving crude oil.

951
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,760
Because the only thing they're using for gas, oh, wait,

952
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:34,640
all their shit, huh?

953
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:35,280
All their shit.

954
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:36,120
Where are they getting?

955
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:36,720
Where are they getting?

956
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:37,400
It just made sense.

957
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,760
It was all sailboat and all that shit.

958
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,000
Where are they getting bullets?

959
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:40,520
Bullets.

960
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,160
Yeah, bullets.

961
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,280
Giant fucking bullets for that super gun

962
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,480
that they mow down that community with.

963
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,800
You know that whole community that it goes to in the beginning?

964
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:49,300
Yeah.

965
00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:51,280
They built that in the ocean.

966
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,400
A hurricane came and destroyed and sank that entire set.

967
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:54,920
Really?

968
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:55,440
Yeah.

969
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:57,000
It was before or after they filmed it.

970
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,280
After they filmed it.

971
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,560
Or during filming and they had to rebuild it.

972
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:05,160
Which the budget of this movie was originally $3 million.

973
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,360
And you know what it grew to?

974
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,480
$175 million.

975
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:08,960
Wow.

976
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,240
And that's in 95 months.

977
00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:11,440
It was just a snowball.

978
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:13,160
It just kept getting bigger and bigger.

979
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:13,880
There were storms.

980
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:14,560
It was bad, yeah.

981
00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:15,520
Everyone almost died.

982
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,600
The girls almost died twice.

983
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,360
Kevin Costner almost died twice.

984
00:34:19,360 --> 00:34:22,360
There's a bunch of near deaths.

985
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,920
Well, I mean, but it paid off.

986
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:25,640
Yeah.

987
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,120
Cool ass movie.

988
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,440
So you know what?

989
00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:29,720
I'm OK with it.

990
00:34:29,720 --> 00:34:32,040
Yeah, the cigarettes, that doesn't make sense.

991
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:33,600
Nor does the gasoline.

992
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,120
Nor does the bullets.

993
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,520
There's just things that just got to work.

994
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,880
He takes the lady down in like a bubble thing

995
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,280
and all the way down to the ocean floor.

996
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:44,800
Yeah.

997
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,640
Which even with-

998
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,840
Haven't you ever done that in the bathtub with a cup?

999
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:54,360
Even an advanced scuba diver with extra training,

1000
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:58,520
the deepest they can go without gear is 130 feet,

1001
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,760
and then you'll die?

1002
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:00,280
Yeah.

1003
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,760
He takes her all the way down to the ocean floor,

1004
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:03,800
just like, doo-doo-doo.

1005
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,880
But scuba divers, what you're not realizing

1006
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,680
is they're using scuba equipment.

1007
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,280
They're using air oxygen tanks.

1008
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:11,440
They're using all the stuff.

1009
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:11,800
No, believe me.

1010
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,120
I went down a Google rabbit hole.

1011
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:14,880
No, no, but what they haven't tried

1012
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:19,840
is basket with air in a pocket and just put them

1013
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:23,640
in the top there and then have someone bring them down.

1014
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,440
Have you ever seen a scuba diver do that?

1015
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,200
You can't go up that fast as fast as they did or you'll die.

1016
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:31,400
Look, I haven't seen, until I see someone go down

1017
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,080
200 or 300 feet into the ocean via bubble of air

1018
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,400
and a little fucking balloon thing.

1019
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,640
I'm going to say it's possible.

1020
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:39,440
I'm sure they have.

1021
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:40,720
And you know what?

1022
00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:42,600
They're probably dead now.

1023
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,240
They saw it.

1024
00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:44,920
They went down.

1025
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:48,080
So this is why I don't comment on Facebook

1026
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,880
and I put girls standing up for the mariner.

1027
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,920
What do I mean by that?

1028
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:57,200
Oh, I think it's because when they say, oh, he's a mutant,

1029
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,480
some girls like, well, what's wrong with that or whatever?

1030
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,720
And they're like, shut up.

1031
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:03,680
They tell her, shut the fuck up or whatever.

1032
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,680
And I'm like, oh, this is why I don't comment on Facebook.

1033
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:09,320
Because you say anything, people get fucking pissed.

1034
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,080
When we're talking about just that opening,

1035
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:16,240
the smokers attacking, that shot in the distance of them coming

1036
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,040
closer is ominous as fuck.

1037
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,480
If you were that little community,

1038
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,720
you'd be like, oh, god, we're all about the fuck.

1039
00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,200
Oh, that wide shot of all the smokers.

1040
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,000
That wide shot.

1041
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,640
You see the background.

1042
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,680
I think it's pretty cool.

1043
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:31,840
That whole attack scene is amazing.

1044
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,240
I love that when the mariner's leaving,

1045
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:38,240
he stops to get the tomato plant on his way out.

1046
00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:39,840
Yeah, hooks the tomato plant.

1047
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:42,440
That was kind of cool.

1048
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:47,400
Then he, OK, by this point, he has the girl with him.

1049
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:48,640
Both girls, right?

1050
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:49,880
He has both girls with him.

1051
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:50,880
They escape.

1052
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:51,840
You've seen the movie.

1053
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:52,720
You know what's up.

1054
00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:53,600
The smokers attack.

1055
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,440
He leaves.

1056
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:56,520
Dennis Hopper loses his eye.

1057
00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:57,640
It's awesome.

1058
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:59,200
That guy gets a harpoon to the foot.

1059
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:00,120
Did you see that shit?

1060
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:00,800
Which guy?

1061
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,240
This gay guy?

1062
00:37:02,240 --> 00:37:05,760
No, they were attacking him on the community

1063
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,520
before the smokers attacked.

1064
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:11,040
And they grapple, and he shoots a harpoon out of this guy's side

1065
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,720
into his foot.

1066
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,400
Yep.

1067
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,720
I like how he says, if you'll notice

1068
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:16,400
the arterial nature of the blood coming

1069
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,960
from the hole in my head, you can assume

1070
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,320
we're having a real lousy day.

1071
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,680
Yeah, that was a good line.

1072
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:21,560
That's a good dentist.

1073
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:22,640
Yeah.

1074
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:23,920
I like that he just knocks.

1075
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:27,680
He just bonks her on the head, I think, at one point.

1076
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,720
The mariner, he gets mad at her.

1077
00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:32,640
Mad at the woman who just hits her.

1078
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,000
I'm like, yeah.

1079
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,040
Fuck around and find out.

1080
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:36,800
That's just what it like.

1081
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,760
Sorry, but this is Waterworld.

1082
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:39,400
There's no loss.

1083
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,600
He's not playing a good guy.

1084
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,280
Everybody mistakes that he's a good guy.

1085
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,920
He's not a good guy.

1086
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,040
He's surviving.

1087
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:47,320
Yeah.

1088
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:51,240
By the end of it, still not a good guy.

1089
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:55,280
But he did some good along the way.

1090
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:59,520
But not if you're a smoker or one of the many, many, many

1091
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:01,520
people living in the smoker community.

1092
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,280
So if you're one of the many, many smokers who are just

1093
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,440
trying to survive, like every other person in this world,

1094
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,480
so you can't just attribute good qualities to people

1095
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,800
because they're, quote unquote, peaceful.

1096
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:14,240
We haven't seen any of the things

1097
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,080
they did to make that community in the water

1098
00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:17,600
in the first place.

1099
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,400
Plus, they were literally about to kill Kevin Costner

1100
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,480
because he was a mutant.

1101
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,600
So they're fucking xenophobic racists

1102
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:27,720
that have a process of killing people that just launches them

1103
00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,960
into a goo and just has it recycled.

1104
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,440
Yeah, you're looking for good guys and bad guys.

1105
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,120
This movie doesn't have any, except for the lady

1106
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:33,680
and the kid.

1107
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:34,360
No.

1108
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,240
How are the lady and the girl good guys?

1109
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:40,680
The kid stole all of his fucking crayons and wasted them.

1110
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,320
She didn't ask.

1111
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,200
She didn't ask.

1112
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,640
No, no, but I know that you're laughing,

1113
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:45,880
and I know that's kind of funny because it's

1114
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:46,920
a kid taking crayons.

1115
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,640
But at the same time, this is fucking Waterworld.

1116
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:50,760
There's one rule.

1117
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,360
You don't take what's not yours unless you are

1118
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,280
willing to fucking die for it.

1119
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,280
And that's fucking nothing's free in Waterworld.

1120
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,520
He says it right at the top.

1121
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:03,400
This little girl, he saves her fucking life.

1122
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:08,000
He gives her a machine that turns her urine into water.

1123
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,600
And yet, they're still dying of thirst later.

1124
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,080
I don't know how that, they just start pissing.

1125
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,080
Just running out of piss.

1126
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:15,800
Or he's drinking their piss.

1127
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,000
He's like pissing in this machine.

1128
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:17,800
They're like, why?

1129
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:18,360
Just do it.

1130
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,040
And then he drinks their urine after.

1131
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,480
But I'm just saying, there are no good guys.

1132
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:25,800
I would say the girl is innocent.

1133
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,320
The little girl is innocent.

1134
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,480
The older woman, not so much.

1135
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,400
She's just trying to protect the girl.

1136
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,600
She even tries to whore herself out at one point.

1137
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,000
But that's actually one of the few things

1138
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,000
I wouldn't blame her for.

1139
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:38,800
Realistic, right.

1140
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:39,560
Yeah.

1141
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,400
Because it's like, use whatever you got.

1142
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,680
Use your assets.

1143
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:50,680
So I do like that Dennis Hopper has a car on his oil rig

1144
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,760
that he just drives around for no fucking reason.

1145
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,360
Just like to get from point A to point B,

1146
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:55,640
because it's kind of a long walk.

1147
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,880
Because gas is abundant.

1148
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:57,360
Yeah.

1149
00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:57,880
Well, yeah.

1150
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:58,640
If you got it, yeah.

1151
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,880
That's the whole point.

1152
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:01,800
But yeah, I love that.

1153
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:02,480
I love the car.

1154
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,840
I like that plane fuel, too.

1155
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:05,520
Oh, yeah.

1156
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:07,520
Like a fucking airplane.

1157
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,640
I love Dennis Hopper, how insane he is,

1158
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,640
that he just threw the match into what would blow up

1159
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:15,120
the entire fucking thing.

1160
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:17,920
And one of his henchmen has to fucking stop it.

1161
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,440
Like, if you all of his henchmen

1162
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:24,520
are trained to know that Dennis Hopper is fucking insane,

1163
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,400
and he will blow this entire goddamn place up

1164
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:28,400
if you're not careful.

1165
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:33,040
Well, he didn't give him $20 million like the Joker did.

1166
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:33,720
The henchmen.

1167
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:37,880
Oh, like in Batman?

1168
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,560
Because I mean, the difference in this

1169
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:45,480
is even if Dennis Hopper gave them $20 million, or $20

1170
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,800
million, whatever the equivalent of money is in water world,

1171
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:52,040
20 million dirts, 20 million shits.

1172
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:56,480
Yeah, 20 million shits and unlimited hydro, clean hydro.

1173
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,320
And put it in that plane, where the fuck's

1174
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,280
the plane going to land or go?

1175
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:03,040
Like, it's just going to land in the water somewhere,

1176
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,120
and then it'll die.

1177
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,840
Yeah, the clean hydro was green.

1178
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:07,600
It's clean, though.

1179
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:09,360
Cleaner than that's the cleanest it can be.

1180
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:10,600
It is.

1181
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,680
I like when they capture the girl

1182
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,360
and they burn his boat down.

1183
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:21,120
And he takes the older woman underwater and they kiss,

1184
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:22,240
breathe each other.

1185
00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:24,040
They come up and the boat's all gone.

1186
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,480
This is the most mild, my boat.

1187
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,640
That's it.

1188
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:30,720
Not my fucking boat.

1189
00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:32,800
Actually, I like that choice, because I

1190
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,000
remember what you're talking about when they come out

1191
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:35,760
of the water, and he just looks at his boat,

1192
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,600
and he goes, fuck.

1193
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,120
Oh, he just goes, my boat.

1194
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:40,760
Yeah, but the mariner, that's the thing.

1195
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,720
The mariner, he's a survivalist.

1196
00:41:42,720 --> 00:41:45,160
He doesn't let things affect.

1197
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,480
He doesn't have emotions, because for him, it's like,

1198
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:47,880
well, shit.

1199
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:48,960
OK, the boat's destroyed.

1200
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:50,560
I just got to rebuild.

1201
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:51,240
Fix the boat.

1202
00:41:51,240 --> 00:41:51,920
Fix the boat.

1203
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:52,600
He sees the boat.

1204
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,040
He goes, all right, now time to fix the boat.

1205
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,560
It's not for him like, oh, man, my whole life's ruined.

1206
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:57,360
Everything's blah, blah, blah.

1207
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,320
He's going to let those emotions affect how he does things.

1208
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,320
He just sees the boat.

1209
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:02,040
Now it's broken.

1210
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:02,640
Fix the boat.

1211
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:03,320
Survive.

1212
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:04,840
He has the charisma of a barnacle.

1213
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:05,720
And that's cool.

1214
00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:06,240
As a what?

1215
00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:07,720
As a barnacle.

1216
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:09,880
Way, he's more charismatic than a barnacle.

1217
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:10,840
Really?

1218
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,080
Yeah.

1219
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,320
There's a few jokes he says.

1220
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:14,320
It's Kevin fucking Costner.

1221
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,280
He's got the Riz.

1222
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,040
He's got the Riz coming out of that.

1223
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:18,760
Mad Max will kill.

1224
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,800
He spent 10 minutes with that chick,

1225
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,120
and she's already offering herself to him.

1226
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:24,160
Yeah.

1227
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:27,760
I think that when the smoker plane, right before that scene,

1228
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,680
when they got their boat destroyed,

1229
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,960
when the smoker plane shows up and starts circling,

1230
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,080
I thought it was adorable that the little girl waves

1231
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:37,600
to the plane, like how she waves to them.

1232
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,600
And then they start attacking.

1233
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,600
And then, of course, the woman ruins it all

1234
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,480
by launching that harpoon that's attached to a fucking wire.

1235
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:50,120
She fucked that up.

1236
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:51,560
So I'll give you, Austin, you can

1237
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:58,120
say that the girl was the villain of all of this.

1238
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,840
I like that they fuck up, and he cuts both their hairs off.

1239
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:03,680
Yeah, that was smart.

1240
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:04,640
That was a good one.

1241
00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:05,680
That was funny.

1242
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:10,840
But it's a way to abuse them without, is an actual abuse.

1243
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:14,320
Plus, on a smart way, if the smokers

1244
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,920
are looking for a little girl, and you cut off all of her hair,

1245
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:20,240
and you make her a little boy, and then you

1246
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:21,440
do the same with the woman.

1247
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,680
You cut her hair off and put her in mainly clothing.

1248
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:24,920
That's just three guys on a boat.

1249
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,880
And they're super obedient after that.

1250
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,080
Yeah, because it's like, did you power move?

1251
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,000
It's smart to run around a boat like that.

1252
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,680
Your hair getting caught in that shit with the whole slime

1253
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:33,920
back and forth.

1254
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,440
He walks by and is like, did you say something?

1255
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:36,360
And she's like, no.

1256
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,600
Like, just.

1257
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:43,960
Then we get the dude from Sons of Anarchy, Tig.

1258
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,680
And I was like, this is a hero I can get behind.

1259
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,840
He literally is selling his chick for some paper.

1260
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:52,520
And I was like, fuck yeah, get that paper, boy.

1261
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,320
He sends her down there.

1262
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:54,800
But it is.

1263
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:55,440
It's just paper.

1264
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,400
The guy's just like, I got paper, bro.

1265
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,440
You can read stuff.

1266
00:43:58,440 --> 00:43:59,800
It's like it's coke or something.

1267
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:00,680
Yeah.

1268
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:04,040
And then they fight off.

1269
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,000
Well, he goes downstairs, and then Tig's like,

1270
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:06,640
it's my bitch.

1271
00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:07,760
And they get in the fight.

1272
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,320
Which talk about cool director choices.

1273
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,240
I loved the scene where you see Tig coming out of the top,

1274
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:17,440
coming out of the cabin.

1275
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,280
And he's got a knife in his hand.

1276
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,240
And it's bloody.

1277
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:23,160
And then he collapses.

1278
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,840
And Kevin Costner comes out.

1279
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,240
And he's holding his knife.

1280
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:27,440
And you know he had won.

1281
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,080
But it's a bigger knife.

1282
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,240
Well, no, it's not just a smaller knife, I think.

1283
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:35,080
But I like that it looked like Tig won the fight.

1284
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,040
And he's about to get the girls.

1285
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,000
Just a good directing choice.

1286
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:45,520
And then, holy shit, Kevin Costner fights a monster.

1287
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:47,000
A giant whale monster.

1288
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,440
Use that guy as bait.

1289
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:49,080
Use him as bait.

1290
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,960
And then the CGI monster comes out of the water

1291
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,840
and eats that guy.

1292
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:54,560
Holy shit.

1293
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,640
That was, I forgot all about that.

1294
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:57,440
Not as expected.

1295
00:44:57,440 --> 00:44:57,960
Yeah.

1296
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:00,200
Did that blubber look kind of appetizing?

1297
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:01,600
Yeah, after they cooked it, yeah.

1298
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:02,640
Throw it down.

1299
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:03,800
And they're just eating it.

1300
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:04,960
I kind of want some of that.

1301
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:05,480
Yeah.

1302
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,360
And then I liked it was a sweet little teaching

1303
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:08,680
the girl how to swim scene.

1304
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:09,280
I liked that.

1305
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,280
That was like a sweet moment.

1306
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,400
I put a pretty clever trick with the dead bodies.

1307
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,640
But why not just use a couple of goons?

1308
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:21,480
Oh, yeah.

1309
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:27,240
So when Mariner and the girls are going,

1310
00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:29,080
and they see a trade outpost, and you

1311
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:33,680
see the bodies on wires looking like they're waving or whatever,

1312
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:34,960
yeah, cool, right?

1313
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:35,720
I get it.

1314
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:37,440
That was very clever of the smokers.

1315
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,520
And on a hike, same thing, yeah.

1316
00:45:39,520 --> 00:45:41,560
Why not just use the smokers?

1317
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:42,480
Like, here's the thing.

1318
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,400
From far away, even from close up, you're going to look,

1319
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:47,320
and you're going to see, oh, here's

1320
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,760
some people I've never seen before in my life.

1321
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,440
Dirty, dressed up.

1322
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,800
Here's the traders I need to talk to.

1323
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:55,200
I need to trade with them.

1324
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,920
You wouldn't look up, see.

1325
00:45:56,920 --> 00:46:01,720
Like, what I'm saying is, if the smokers killed everybody

1326
00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:03,880
and tied rocks to their legs, put them

1327
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:06,420
in the bottom of the ocean, like I'm sure they do or whatever,

1328
00:46:06,420 --> 00:46:10,680
and then manned that outpost and waved them in like, hey,

1329
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:14,160
we're traders, just like you expected us to be on this thing,

1330
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,400
and just had Dennis Hopper hiding behind the fucking wall

1331
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,160
if he needed to be there, he would have done this.

1332
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,680
The Mariner would have pulled up.

1333
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,000
He would have gotten off the boat

1334
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,560
and said, hey, we're here to trade or whatever.

1335
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:25,840
Then they would have gotten him.

1336
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,920
Instead, they literally put it in a way

1337
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,220
that once you're close enough, you

1338
00:46:29,220 --> 00:46:32,400
can see dead bodies hanging from the bottom there,

1339
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:36,440
and corpses tied up as strings, like whatever.

1340
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:39,880
Cool directing choice, bad story choice.

1341
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,720
I feel like it makes the smokers look a lot

1342
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:43,960
dumber than I think they actually are.

1343
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:48,560
Well, I mean, they do worship Joe Hazelwood as a god.

1344
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:49,600
And who is that?

1345
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:54,160
He's this guy that spilled, like, it was in charge

1346
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,240
when this big oil spill happened, and everyone says

1347
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,760
it was because he was drunk, but then it turned out he wasn't.

1348
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:04,240
But it's so funny that they worship him as a god

1349
00:47:04,240 --> 00:47:05,960
because his picture's there.

1350
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,040
Hazelwood is looking down on his proud.

1351
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:11,800
And they come back later when it's the Valdez sinking.

1352
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,080
It's the Exxon Valdez.

1353
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,080
Yeah.

1354
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:16,120
And that's the one that had the spill, right?

1355
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:16,720
The oil spill, yeah.

1356
00:47:16,720 --> 00:47:17,240
Yeah, OK.

1357
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:18,800
That's the moment I laughed out loud.

1358
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:20,680
I was like, oh, this is just hilarious.

1359
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,360
I'm not sure it was intentionally hilarious,

1360
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:22,880
but it was.

1361
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,720
So they meet back up with some survivors

1362
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:26,680
from that community attack.

1363
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:29,400
And I see that guy that got the harpoon in his foot,

1364
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,160
just walking around just fine, nothing wrong.

1365
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:33,120
Survived.

1366
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,120
You just got to survive, dude.

1367
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:35,800
That's the rule.

1368
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:39,720
It's like, all right, harpoon in foot, pull out, heal.

1369
00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:42,120
Repair, heal.

1370
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:43,360
Maybe he's a mutant.

1371
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:47,080
So, oh, yeah, he's a wolverine.

1372
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,240
That kills us.

1373
00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:52,600
When they, oh, I did put the underwater effects

1374
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,560
and the shots are fucking awesome in this.

1375
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,240
Yeah, the effects actually somewhat hold up pretty good.

1376
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:59,200
Yeah, a lot of the time are really.

1377
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,600
A lot of the, because a lot of it's just practical stunt

1378
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:06,200
work with real jet skis, real water, in the ocean,

1379
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,440
just doing cool shit.

1380
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,440
And I love it.

1381
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:10,720
When he ziplines down, there's like a little hint

1382
00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,880
of a wire you can see, but I didn't really,

1383
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:13,960
it doesn't bother me that much.

1384
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:14,640
Safety wire.

1385
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,040
Obviously, it's Kevin fucking Costner.

1386
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:16,840
The practical stuff was good.

1387
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,400
The explosion, not so.

1388
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:22,560
Would you guys want to see a new Kevin Costner post-apocalyptic

1389
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,000
dick movie?

1390
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,200
Whether a sequel or it's.

1391
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:26,320
Is it old man, like now?

1392
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:27,440
Yeah.

1393
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:29,280
Maybe, maybe like some book of Eli,

1394
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:31,600
like he's old and tired and has a bit sick of doing this.

1395
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:32,720
He's not the heroic young guy.

1396
00:48:32,720 --> 00:48:34,960
I'm eating Waterworld 2 now and he's like 65.

1397
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,040
Yeah, the chits are microplastics now.

1398
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,440
No, because I wouldn't want a sequel to Waterworld.

1399
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,920
It's perfect.

1400
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:46,560
I found Isla Newblar anyways in the end.

1401
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:52,120
I would take a postman too, but that

1402
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:53,280
would be harder.

1403
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:57,720
They sort of close it up at the end with a flash

1404
00:48:57,720 --> 00:49:01,600
forward to 2043 and it shows the daughter of the postman

1405
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:05,160
as she's talking about how her dad saved America

1406
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:06,960
and how America exists now.

1407
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,760
So they fix all the problems of postman,

1408
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:11,080
so I don't think that it needs to be a postman too.

1409
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:12,560
A prequel to the postman, sure.

1410
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:14,480
I would want to see how.

1411
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,480
How it went down.

1412
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:15,960
Yeah.

1413
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,800
It's going to be hard to do a post-apocalyptic anything now.

1414
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:19,320
Just because.

1415
00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:20,160
We live in that time.

1416
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,560
Because of how good Fallout was.

1417
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,000
I mean, it's going to be kind of hard to top that.

1418
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:29,240
What I would want is a Kevin Costner

1419
00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:36,680
starring in a sort of a Bioshock infinite sort of thing.

1420
00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:38,640
So we've gotten water, we've gotten land.

1421
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:39,400
Give us something.

1422
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,520
Give us like a dystopian, not post-apocalyptic,

1423
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,280
but like a dystopian future where

1424
00:49:45,280 --> 00:49:52,240
we live on floating cities and everything seems fine

1425
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:55,840
and everything seems OK, but underneath it all, there's like.

1426
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:57,240
He's a mutant, he can fly.

1427
00:49:57,240 --> 00:49:58,440
No, mutants.

1428
00:49:58,440 --> 00:49:59,800
Oh, I mean, I guess.

1429
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,440
No, but I want to rip off Waterworld.

1430
00:50:01,440 --> 00:50:04,480
I actually, let's just do Bioshock infinite, the movie,

1431
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,760
and make him the comstock.

1432
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:08,040
Make him like the bad guy.

1433
00:50:08,040 --> 00:50:10,680
I've only played one, I couldn't get into the other Bioshocks.

1434
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,920
Well, infinite's great because it deals directly

1435
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,640
with segregation stuff.

1436
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:19,360
So like you go up to this, you go to a sky world.

1437
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,200
And as you're walking through, you're

1438
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:25,760
looking at like blacks only bathroom, whites only bathroom.

1439
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,840
And you walk inside and there's a huge difference

1440
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:28,840
between the two of them.

1441
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,480
At one point, you're walking by and there's

1442
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,240
a guy like a carnival game.

1443
00:50:33,240 --> 00:50:34,760
And this guy goes, hey, step right up.

1444
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,120
He hands you a baseball.

1445
00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:37,760
And he's like, all right, throw it at the.

1446
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:38,840
And he calls him the N-word.

1447
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,320
And there's just a black person.

1448
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:41,760
That's Bioshock infinite?

1449
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:42,840
Yeah, there's a black person.

1450
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:43,920
And you have the choice.

1451
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:44,520
I have no idea.

1452
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:45,880
You have a choice of throwing.

1453
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,560
It sounds like you're describing Wolfenstein,

1454
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,240
the one where the Nazis win.

1455
00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:54,080
Well, yeah, the new glosses or whatever it's called.

1456
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:54,680
I forget.

1457
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,400
They chop your guy's head off and then he gets reanimated.

1458
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,240
But then there's just like, KKK guys just walking around,

1459
00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:01,840
just enjoying a sunny day.

1460
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:03,360
Well, this is, well, no, no.

1461
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,000
Bioshock infinite, damn.

1462
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:08,520
But what, OK, because you know how in Bioshock 1,

1463
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:14,000
it's a guy makes an underwater city to live in.

1464
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,440
He's like, I'm going to make a utopia down below the sea.

1465
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,840
And then everything goes bad because he introduces drugs.

1466
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:21,320
And then that other guy is like.

1467
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:22,960
The other guy's like, I'm going to make.

1468
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,160
Would you kindly blah, blah, blah, do this, that,

1469
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:26,160
and the other, the whole game.

1470
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:27,800
But then the second, but then infinite

1471
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,840
is I think a different person made a floating city.

1472
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,480
And he wants to keep American values the way

1473
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:38,200
that he wants them, which is segregation, slavery, all

1474
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:38,720
that stuff.

1475
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:41,280
So you're so it's modern day or the future, whatever.

1476
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:42,160
But it doesn't matter.

1477
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,480
This is neither here nor there.

1478
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,080
I'm stopping my own tangent here.

1479
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,760
So she fucks the Mariner.

1480
00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,280
And I'm like, ew, don't fuck that mutant.

1481
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:53,240
Gross.

1482
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:54,040
What are you doing?

1483
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,640
You get fucking mutant babies.

1484
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:56,280
Ew, ew, ew.

1485
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,080
Comes water.

1486
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:01,960
No, he comes sea monkeys.

1487
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,840
Maybe you got a thought on this.

1488
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,120
Why was he so dirty all this?

1489
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:11,960
He basically lives in the water.

1490
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,760
That's a good point.

1491
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:19,800
Well, I feel like you're I know why the smokers were always

1492
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,680
dirty.

1493
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:23,480
No, that's a good point.

1494
00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,440
Maybe there's dust in the air.

1495
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:26,080
I don't know.

1496
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:27,400
Pollution.

1497
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:31,600
I put no, no, no, no, no.

1498
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,760
Balloon guy never finds them ever.

1499
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:35,840
Nope, doesn't happen.

1500
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,000
This is so fucking stupid.

1501
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,200
I thought that was stupid.

1502
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,480
But then he said, I saw the smoke.

1503
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,680
That's how he saw the smoke.

1504
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:44,200
Yeah.

1505
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:46,680
And I mean, up in the air, the horizon's

1506
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:47,720
a lot further away.

1507
00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:49,360
There's a better chance.

1508
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:51,600
I thought it was I was like, no, no, I thought.

1509
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:52,920
No, no, no.

1510
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:54,320
And he's like, oh, I saw the smoke.

1511
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:55,400
I'm like, oh, oh, oh.

1512
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:56,800
It's the eyes of you to burn your boat.

1513
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,040
At some point, he learned to control the balloon.

1514
00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:01,920
Because when he took off, he couldn't control it at all.

1515
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,000
Yeah, but also, I think at some point.

1516
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,560
I'm sorry, I'm leaving you here because I

1517
00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:06,840
can't control this balloon.

1518
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,640
It was also different, though, because I think once he was

1519
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,480
leaving, though, you also have to think he had to keep leaving.

1520
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:13,760
His place was getting attacked.

1521
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:17,920
So I think he got out of there.

1522
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:18,680
I don't know.

1523
00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:20,400
He actually literally apologized to him.

1524
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:21,920
Sorry.

1525
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:23,960
Yeah, I liked that, though.

1526
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,720
I like that little weird scientist guy.

1527
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:28,200
Who gave the girl the tattoo?

1528
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:30,440
And why?

1529
00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,840
Well, Doug, look, that's not important.

1530
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:35,120
What is important?

1531
00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:40,200
What is important is that at one point, Kevin Costor just,

1532
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:42,920
they're like, well, how are you going to find the smokers?

1533
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:48,400
And he just tosses a match on the trail of the jet ski guy

1534
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,000
and follows that flame back.

1535
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:51,800
You guys had that in your version?

1536
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,240
Did you guys have that scene?

1537
00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:56,760
Kevin Costor, the way he finds the smokers

1538
00:53:56,760 --> 00:54:00,680
after he kills a smoker guy, and he has a jet ski,

1539
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:02,840
and then there's, oh, those two smoker guys show up

1540
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:06,280
on a little floating platform where he was dropping off

1541
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:09,200
the girl, and everyone was like, we're not going to go find,

1542
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,760
we're not going to go look for Inara.

1543
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:12,600
And he's like, I'm leaving, right?

1544
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:13,360
Remember that?

1545
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:17,840
He goes there, and they're like, oh, no one wants to go help you.

1546
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:20,440
He's like, OK, well, I'm not going to go look for her either.

1547
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:21,960
And he steals their boat and leaves.

1548
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:24,840
It takes like a sail and bounces and goes fix his ship.

1549
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:29,880
And then he comes back because, I don't know, whatever.

1550
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:31,200
He was thinking about her.

1551
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:32,760
He sees the crans or whatever.

1552
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:34,360
And then the smokers show up.

1553
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:36,320
He kills both of them.

1554
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:38,800
He gets on one of the jet skis, and he's like,

1555
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:40,960
they're like, how are you going to find the smokers?

1556
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,800
And he takes a match, and he throws it,

1557
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:48,840
and it ignites the trail of the jet skis that lights up

1558
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:52,120
miles long across the ocean.

1559
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:53,360
Did you guys have that scene?

1560
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:56,440
I mean, I'm sure he figures out the direction.

1561
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:56,960
No.

1562
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:58,520
They just cut past that.

1563
00:54:58,520 --> 00:54:59,440
OK, why?

1564
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:00,240
It's not important.

1565
00:55:00,240 --> 00:55:01,480
No, it's very important.

1566
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,160
What's very important is, did you

1567
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:08,880
see him ram the fucking jet ski into that guy into a pipe?

1568
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:13,320
And he's just double-O, double-O, H2O, fucking 7,

1569
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:15,520
Kevin Costner on the ship.

1570
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:16,480
It's right before this.

1571
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,440
OK.

1572
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:19,320
Hold on.

1573
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,680
Sorry, everybody at home.

1574
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:22,520
The guy finds him.

1575
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:24,200
All right.

1576
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:26,320
I just have to show you, because you guys don't believe me.

1577
00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:26,520
Really good quality.

1578
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:27,640
What are you watching this on?

1579
00:55:27,640 --> 00:55:29,600
Are you streaming this on?

1580
00:55:29,600 --> 00:55:31,680
Thanks.

1581
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:32,960
All right.

1582
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:34,840
So it's right here.

1583
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,520
Oh, god.

1584
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:37,440
No, that was not in order.

1585
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:38,320
OK, now watch.

1586
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,360
It's so, maybe we can even hear it.

1587
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:42,800
It's fine.

1588
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:43,320
Here.

1589
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:44,440
Oh, yeah.

1590
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:48,720
So he follows this trail of flames

1591
00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:51,560
all the way back to the smokers.

1592
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:53,200
You guys didn't have that, huh?

1593
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:55,280
Oh, it looks like he made it there.

1594
00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:57,400
Yeah, it goes all the way.

1595
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:58,880
We can read a map.

1596
00:55:58,880 --> 00:55:59,720
Yeah.

1597
00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:01,600
So read.

1598
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:04,040
So anyway, that happens in my version.

1599
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:07,400
I thought that was insane.

1600
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:08,480
Oh, yeah, Smitty.

1601
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,000
Yeah, that's the one you're talking about,

1602
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,680
where Smitty's like, all right, bring it in slow.

1603
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:12,400
Bring it in slow.

1604
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,240
And then he just, thwomp, just launches it.

1605
00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:16,200
And then the other guys come up, and they fucking

1606
00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,160
laugh about it, which is just great.

1607
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,640
They're like, ah, Smitty, ha ha.

1608
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:25,240
The little girl's speech when she's being interrogated

1609
00:56:25,240 --> 00:56:28,800
by the bad guy, and she's like, he doesn't take prisoners.

1610
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:29,720
He kills.

1611
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,400
Yeah, all the meanwhile, he's Kevin Costner, Batman.

1612
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,400
And he's just going through murdering everybody.

1613
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:35,080
Oh, I wrote that down.

1614
00:56:35,080 --> 00:56:37,160
He doesn't have a name, so death can't find him.

1615
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,120
He doesn't have a home or people to care for.

1616
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:42,080
He's not afraid of anything, men least of all.

1617
00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:43,920
He's fast and strong like the big wind.

1618
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,920
He can hear 100 miles and see 100 miles underwater.

1619
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:48,760
He can hide in the shadow of the noon sun.

1620
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:49,840
He can be right behind you.

1621
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,720
You won't even know it till you're dead.

1622
00:56:53,720 --> 00:56:54,600
Awesome.

1623
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:57,240
Just a cool speech for a six-year-old girl

1624
00:56:57,240 --> 00:56:58,520
to have locked and loaded.

1625
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,280
First, she was just stealing crayons.

1626
00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:04,080
Now she's delivering intimidating speeches

1627
00:57:04,080 --> 00:57:05,840
about a dude she just met.

1628
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:10,200
And then we have the best moment in the entire fucking movie,

1629
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:14,600
and it is that little old man who works in the oil thing.

1630
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:18,360
And the flame mariner drops a flare down.

1631
00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:21,120
The flare goes into the hole, and the old man goes,

1632
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:21,920
oh, thank god.

1633
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:23,720
And then it just blows up.

1634
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,000
Thank god it's over.

1635
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,040
I fucking died.

1636
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:29,160
I had to pause the movie.

1637
00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:30,040
I was laughing so hard.

1638
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:34,600
I was like, thank god the little old man is finally dying.

1639
00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:37,080
He's so happy to die.

1640
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:39,520
You missed the most important part before that, though.

1641
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:40,520
What was that?

1642
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:44,840
Where the smoker calls him the R-word.

1643
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:45,760
The R-sler.

1644
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,360
He does use the R-sler.

1645
00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:50,080
Straight up just R-word.

1646
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:57,000
Then we get a stunt.

1647
00:57:57,000 --> 00:58:01,080
And Kevin Costner goes, actually, it's mutant to use her.

1648
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:05,840
We get a stunt where Kevin Costner bungee jumps off

1649
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:11,160
the thing while four jet skis are going towards him.

1650
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:13,400
And he bungee jumps, and he goes, ah.

1651
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,280
And he pulls the girl up, and they all crash into each other

1652
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,040
and explode.

1653
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:19,400
Well, they explode before they even touch,

1654
00:58:19,400 --> 00:58:21,240
if you go right to that.

1655
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:21,960
That was bad.

1656
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:22,880
That was like.

1657
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:24,920
I was like, that would have been so cool if it just

1658
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:26,920
exploded just a second later.

1659
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,880
Or maybe not have them all drive into each other.

1660
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:33,720
Because you think one of them at least would turn at some point.

1661
00:58:33,720 --> 00:58:35,560
Have it be realistic.

1662
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,000
In a moment like that, I get that you want the two cars

1663
00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,520
to crash, or the four things to whatever to crash,

1664
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,680
or everybody shoot each other, or all that stuff.

1665
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:43,960
Trying to turn or something.

1666
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:46,360
Have one of them turn and hit a wall or something.

1667
00:58:46,360 --> 00:58:48,720
Yeah.

1668
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:53,360
And then we get to dry land.

1669
00:58:53,360 --> 00:58:54,680
It exists.

1670
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,560
They find it.

1671
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:57,600
They get there.

1672
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:58,120
And.

1673
00:58:58,120 --> 00:58:59,320
Yeah, it's La Nublar.

1674
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,520
It's La Nublar.

1675
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:04,520
And you can already tell Mariner hates the land,

1676
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,280
which I love that.

1677
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,960
I love that any time he steps on anything more solid

1678
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:10,800
than his boat, he trips out.

1679
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:13,480
Like when he got to that first community, he steps on the grate

1680
00:59:13,480 --> 00:59:15,200
and he's like, oh, I don't really like this.

1681
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,080
And then when he gets on even the oil boat,

1682
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:18,680
it was like a little bit of a whatever.

1683
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:21,400
And then on the land, for sure, he's like, oh.

1684
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:22,000
Why is the.

1685
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:22,800
It's the opposite of sea-like.

1686
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:23,880
Yeah, where's the rocking?

1687
00:59:23,880 --> 00:59:25,880
Yeah.

1688
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:30,160
So here's my Kevin Costner movie.

1689
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:32,680
Post-apocalyptic.

1690
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:34,240
Kevin Costner lands on an island.

1691
00:59:34,240 --> 00:59:35,960
Dinosaurs re-evolved.

1692
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:37,280
And they're back.

1693
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:41,160
Kevin Costner versus dinosaurs.

1694
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:44,000
65.

1695
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:45,080
That was Adam.

1696
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:45,560
That was that.

1697
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:46,080
Yeah.

1698
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:50,240
How old was a fucking cowboy hat guy from Jurassic Park?

1699
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:51,240
Sam Neill.

1700
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:52,520
Sam Neill.

1701
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:53,240
40s.

1702
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,240
Maybe 30s.

1703
00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:55,160
40s.

1704
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:56,840
In that movie?

1705
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,640
I think Kevin Costner could still do it.

1706
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:00,200
What does he look like now?

1707
01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:03,520
For sure, put Kevin Costner in a Jurassic World movie.

1708
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:04,600
Get rid of Jurassic World.

1709
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:05,800
Give us a new Jurassic.

1710
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:06,960
We don't need Jurassic World.

1711
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:08,280
Give us a new Jurassic Park.

1712
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:10,400
Post-apocalyptic Jurassic Park.

1713
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,000
The world's over.

1714
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:14,200
Fucking dinosaurs are still kicking on the island.

1715
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:16,120
Planet of the dinosaurs.

1716
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:17,120
There we go.

1717
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:17,720
Sort of.

1718
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,560
Like that vibe.

1719
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:19,480
Instead of Planet of the Apes.

1720
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,320
And then Rise of the Planet of the Dinosaurs.

1721
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:21,800
And then.

1722
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,680
Ooh, do land of the lost.

1723
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:27,400
Or no, but I don't really like the idea of dinosaurs

1724
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:28,920
as a post-apocalyptic.

1725
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:30,200
I saw Postman once.

1726
01:00:30,200 --> 01:00:32,200
And I remember not hating it.

1727
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:33,520
I thought it was pretty good.

1728
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,320
I like anything post-apocalyptic.

1729
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:38,440
And seeing Waterworld, Kevin Costner also post-apocalyptic.

1730
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:39,280
He's the man.

1731
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:40,320
He is the man for it.

1732
01:00:40,320 --> 01:00:42,080
He can do one more.

1733
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,200
He can do cowboy stuff great.

1734
01:00:44,200 --> 01:00:46,320
He can do post-apocalyptic stuff great.

1735
01:00:46,320 --> 01:00:47,640
He can do anything.

1736
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:51,120
He can do baseball romance great.

1737
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:53,800
If you watch Feel the Dreams, Bull Durham,

1738
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:57,640
and The Perfect Game are three baseball romance movies

1739
01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,240
that he is so fucking good at.

1740
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,040
You can tell he loves baseball by watching it.

1741
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:02,400
Yeah.

1742
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,760
Perfect Game is one of my favorite movies.

1743
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:07,320
I've seen that more times than I've seen Postman.

1744
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:10,760
It's just like he's a near retired baseball player.

1745
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:14,920
He had an epic love story with a woman.

1746
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:17,560
And they're sort of on the outs.

1747
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:21,720
And he is playing this game.

1748
01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:22,800
He's playing a game.

1749
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:26,520
And he's throwing a perfect game, pitching a perfect game.

1750
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:29,000
And she's watching this and hearing about it

1751
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:31,000
as she's trying to leave the city.

1752
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,960
And as all of this is happening, you're

1753
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:34,600
getting flashbacks to how they met,

1754
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,080
flashbacks to when he was a younger player,

1755
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:37,120
flashbacks to all this.

1756
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,680
So the story is he's, so it's like in real time,

1757
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:41,440
he's throwing a perfect game.

1758
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,760
She's trying to leave the city.

1759
01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:45,960
But she's getting pulled back to him

1760
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,320
because she's remembering all the good times they've had.

1761
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:50,400
And while he's on the mound, kind

1762
01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:52,240
of having a slumdog millionaire thinking

1763
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:55,400
about all the things that led him to this moment sort of deal.

1764
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:57,960
Really good baseball movie.

1765
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:02,400
And then you get Feel the Dreams, which is one of the best.

1766
01:02:02,400 --> 01:02:03,800
I mean, maybe the best baseball movie.

1767
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:04,560
You know that one.

1768
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,120
If you build it, he will come.

1769
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:09,200
They will come, but he will come.

1770
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,400
That's one of the most misquoted lines in movie history.

1771
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,880
Just like, no, I am your father.

1772
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:17,760
It's not Luke, I'm your father.

1773
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:19,560
Weird how those things are always.

1774
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,360
Someone disagree with me.

1775
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:24,040
Like the other day, I was like, no, it's no, I'm your father.

1776
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:24,880
I'll play it now.

1777
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:27,640
And she's like, no, it's Luke, I'm your father.

1778
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:29,280
I'm like, no, it's no, I'm your father.

1779
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,360
Can you guys tell me, have you guys seen Reservoir Dogs,

1780
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:31,880
right?

1781
01:02:31,880 --> 01:02:32,360
Yeah.

1782
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:34,880
Remember when the cop is tied to the chair

1783
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:37,000
and the guy's listening to, no.

1784
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:37,800
Da da da da.

1785
01:02:37,800 --> 01:02:39,800
Na na na na na.

1786
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:42,600
That cop dies, correct?

1787
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:43,200
Remember?

1788
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:43,880
He died.

1789
01:02:43,880 --> 01:02:44,920
In that scene?

1790
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:48,200
Maybe not in that scene, but he gets shot and killed, I believe.

1791
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:49,800
That cop dies.

1792
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,240
That cop does not make it out alive.

1793
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,200
I think we have different people get shot.

1794
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,120
I think one guy gets shot, and he's in the car,

1795
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,760
and he's like, oh god, I'm fucking dying.

1796
01:02:56,760 --> 01:02:57,560
I'm like, whatever.

1797
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:58,720
I don't think he's the cop.

1798
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:00,080
I think the one that gets tortured.

1799
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:01,720
OK, look, the cop dies.

1800
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,120
I had an argument with my uncle about it.

1801
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:05,560
I forgot what we were talking about.

1802
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:07,360
I was like, yeah, like in Reservoir, when the cop dies,

1803
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:08,800
and he's like, no, the cop doesn't die.

1804
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:11,360
I'm like, yeah, the cop dies.

1805
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:14,720
It's just like a point where you're just like, yes, they

1806
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:15,520
fucking die.

1807
01:03:15,520 --> 01:03:18,120
You're not going to just change history

1808
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:19,720
to make this person feel better.

1809
01:03:19,720 --> 01:03:21,880
They're wrong about something, and you're telling them, no,

1810
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:23,160
he fucking dies.

1811
01:03:23,160 --> 01:03:25,200
My uncle pulled a fucking, we were in a car.

1812
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:28,880
He pulled his gun out and put a gun to my fucking head.

1813
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,240
Real story, true story.

1814
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:30,740
What?

1815
01:03:30,740 --> 01:03:33,520
Yeah, I'm like 18 or 19 at this time.

1816
01:03:33,520 --> 01:03:34,200
We're driving.

1817
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,840
Your uncle pulls over.

1818
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:37,400
No, just while he's driving.

1819
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:38,600
Puts a gun to your head.

1820
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:39,800
Yeah.

1821
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:42,840
An M9 puts a gun to my fucking head.

1822
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:45,000
He's like, he fucking dies in that.

1823
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,600
He doesn't die in that movie.

1824
01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:48,240
All right, he doesn't die.

1825
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:49,680
I'm so sorry, uncle.

1826
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:50,840
Is that what you said?

1827
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:52,080
No.

1828
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:53,040
You kept arguing with him.

1829
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:55,520
No, because we're in a fucking public place driving,

1830
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:57,200
and he's just being a fucking dumbass.

1831
01:03:57,200 --> 01:04:00,360
Imagine someone driving by, and they look over,

1832
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:03,480
and they just see some dude driving with a gun pressed

1833
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:05,120
to the passenger's head.

1834
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:06,840
I wish someone would.

1835
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:08,880
That guy was fucking psycho.

1836
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:11,880
I worked in a factory for about six months.

1837
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:12,600
Loud as shit.

1838
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:14,360
Wear your plugs every day.

1839
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:17,280
He had to pick me up from work one day, just blaring Metallica,

1840
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,480
trying to look all cool with his windows down.

1841
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:22,120
And I turned it down, and he starts punching me

1842
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:24,240
in the fucking arm, freaking out,

1843
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:25,640
like in front of all these people.

1844
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:26,360
This is your uncle?

1845
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:27,120
Yeah.

1846
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:30,680
Your mother or your father's a brother?

1847
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:33,320
My grandma's on my mom's side.

1848
01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:36,400
She had with a different guy than my actual grandpa.

1849
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:37,360
But so like a half.

1850
01:04:37,360 --> 01:04:39,440
And the whole time he's driving me home, he's like,

1851
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:43,240
I'm going to fucking fuck you up out front of the house

1852
01:04:43,240 --> 01:04:44,680
when we get there.

1853
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:46,280
And there's like a cop on the highway

1854
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:47,680
going the opposite way of us.

1855
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:50,360
And I flip off the cop, hoping that he'll pull us over.

1856
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:52,600
And so I'd be like, yeah, this guy just says he's going to

1857
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:54,400
basically just kill me, beat my ass.

1858
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:56,360
You going to do something with that?

1859
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:57,320
Didn't happen.

1860
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:58,360
We get to the house.

1861
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:00,480
He takes his pants off.

1862
01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:02,920
Gets out of the car, takes his pants off.

1863
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:05,040
He meant fuck you up.

1864
01:05:05,040 --> 01:05:07,360
He meant I'm not going to beat you when we get to the house.

1865
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:08,520
I'm going to beat off in front of you

1866
01:05:08,520 --> 01:05:10,280
when we get to the house.

1867
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:11,840
Well, there's another story there.

1868
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:15,920
But this guy is a different vibe.

1869
01:05:15,920 --> 01:05:19,120
I'm just not going to say his actual name.

1870
01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:20,680
This guy, bad news.

1871
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,080
Bad fucking news.

1872
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:24,520
Yeah, he takes his pants off because he watches

1873
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:25,640
a lot of trailer park boys.

1874
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:27,680
And you know Randy, Randy takes his pants off.

1875
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:29,120
He's going to fuck you up.

1876
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:31,440
That's how fucked up in the head this guy is.

1877
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:32,120
He gets out.

1878
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:35,440
While he's taking his pants off in the front yard,

1879
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,280
in the driveway, I'm walking to the house,

1880
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:38,880
my grandma and grandpa are outside.

1881
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:42,080
I'm like, yeah, he's off losing it on some crazy shit.

1882
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:43,920
I'm going to go inside and lock the door now.

1883
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:46,240
And as soon as I lock the door, he's banging on the door.

1884
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:49,080
I had to go out in the backyard and hide

1885
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:50,640
while they tried to calm him down.

1886
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:53,040
He figures out I'm in the backyard, comes out there,

1887
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,960
comes around the corner in his underwear.

1888
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,240
I have a big ass rock in my hand.

1889
01:05:57,240 --> 01:05:58,760
And I fucking throw it at him.

1890
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:00,640
And he just retards strength.

1891
01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:04,600
Just bounces it right off his fucking gut.

1892
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:05,800
And he's chasing me around.

1893
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,000
I also have a baseball bat.

1894
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,160
And I have to climb on the fence.

1895
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:10,520
And I'm like, I'm going to hit him with a fucking baseball.

1896
01:06:10,520 --> 01:06:11,880
I'm just a kid at this point.

1897
01:06:11,880 --> 01:06:12,840
How old are you?

1898
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:14,040
I'm 30.

1899
01:06:14,040 --> 01:06:17,760
At this point, I'm at this.

1900
01:06:17,760 --> 01:06:18,560
How old was I?

1901
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:19,880
I'm not asking how old are you now.

1902
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:20,360
You said it.

1903
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:21,600
How old are you?

1904
01:06:21,600 --> 01:06:23,320
Well, OK, in the story.

1905
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:26,120
I'm like 17, 18 at this point.

1906
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:27,120
Just a fucking kid.

1907
01:06:27,120 --> 01:06:29,520
And he's pushing 30.

1908
01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:33,440
So funny this happened a week ago.

1909
01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:34,160
How old were you?

1910
01:06:34,160 --> 01:06:34,680
I'm 30.

1911
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:35,560
Oh, god, no.

1912
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:36,520
No, I have guns now.

1913
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:37,760
I would have fucking killed him.

1914
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,520
It would have been like perfect opportunity to kill you.

1915
01:06:40,520 --> 01:06:41,760
Holy shit.

1916
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:44,280
That was a nice Austin shitty family tangent.

1917
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:48,120
Yeah, god, free therapy for Austin.

1918
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:49,480
I mean, if he sliced it the right way,

1919
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:50,800
I'm probably a piece of shit too.

1920
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:54,440
But not as much as these people I fucking grew up with.

1921
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:57,000
I'm sorry to hear that.

1922
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:59,880
So a couple notes for the end.

1923
01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:02,480
How the fuck does Inara know that she's home?

1924
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:04,840
She definitely wasn't born on dry land.

1925
01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:05,600
That didn't happen.

1926
01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:06,880
Oh, wait.

1927
01:07:06,880 --> 01:07:08,800
She showed up in a basket, right?

1928
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:11,360
Like Moses style or whatever.

1929
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:14,760
So she could have came from dry land.

1930
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:15,640
That does solve it.

1931
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,520
And the little music box is what she was in.

1932
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:18,720
Yeah, but she was also an infant.

1933
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:19,800
She wouldn't remember.

1934
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,640
So once she saw the skeletons, she walked into the hut.

1935
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:24,160
She's like, this is home now.

1936
01:07:24,160 --> 01:07:25,080
Or this is home.

1937
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:28,200
I'm like, no, you don't know that.

1938
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:30,280
But then there's a bunch of paperwork on the back.

1939
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:34,920
So whoever did live there and then died hundreds of years

1940
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:39,440
ago, but also were alive long enough to send Inara out.

1941
01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:41,720
And then become skeletons in this short time?

1942
01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:43,280
Yeah, that was a little weird.

1943
01:07:46,200 --> 01:07:49,360
I guess that they were trying to get it out there,

1944
01:07:49,360 --> 01:07:51,680
because they were tattooing every person with a map

1945
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:53,800
to dry land on their backs.

1946
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:56,800
So every person born has a map to dry land on their back.

1947
01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:59,280
And then they would just send those people out probably.

1948
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,920
So maybe that was just an outpost.

1949
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:02,400
Maybe that was just like, hey, listen.

1950
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,640
We have a responsibility, knowing where dry land is,

1951
01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:06,480
to get the message out to everybody,

1952
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:07,840
to get them over here.

1953
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:09,960
So we tattoo it on the backs of everybody.

1954
01:08:09,960 --> 01:08:12,280
The moment they're old enough, we send them out in a basket,

1955
01:08:12,280 --> 01:08:12,880
or we do whatever.

1956
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:14,040
We send them out on a ship.

1957
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:15,640
And then we stay here.

1958
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:16,920
Whatever, it doesn't matter.

1959
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:22,040
Why couldn't the mariner just live near-ish to dry land?

1960
01:08:22,040 --> 01:08:23,800
So yeah, live in the water.

1961
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,520
That's fine.

1962
01:08:24,520 --> 01:08:25,320
Go live in the water.

1963
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:26,320
Be an ocean dweller.

1964
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:28,560
I know that's what you like to do.

1965
01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:30,840
Do it a mile or two off coast.

1966
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:32,440
Do it where you can see the land.

1967
01:08:32,440 --> 01:08:33,080
Come visit.

1968
01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:33,960
Come visit.

1969
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:38,960
Come visit your girlfriend and your surrogate daughter chick.

1970
01:08:38,960 --> 01:08:40,600
Why does he have to fuck off completely?

1971
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:42,320
I get that he wants to be alone.

1972
01:08:42,320 --> 01:08:44,800
I get he's a solo guy.

1973
01:08:44,800 --> 01:08:48,440
He doesn't want to be burdened, I guess.

1974
01:08:48,440 --> 01:08:51,200
But he also was learning how to be a man,

1975
01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:52,680
like a family man or whatever.

1976
01:08:52,680 --> 01:08:53,320
So I don't know.

1977
01:08:57,000 --> 01:09:01,320
How does no one just happen to stumble upon that island?

1978
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:02,520
I bet people have.

1979
01:09:02,520 --> 01:09:05,160
But then if you're a solo-

1980
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:07,400
Then they become skeletons eventually.

1981
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:08,640
Yeah, exactly.

1982
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:11,720
So if you're like a, from everything we've seen,

1983
01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:15,280
the only time we've seen anybody with more than just

1984
01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:17,440
a couple of people with them, it's

1985
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:18,960
a settlement of some sort.

1986
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:22,480
It's the smokers, whatever.

1987
01:09:22,480 --> 01:09:26,560
But then what's crazy is this is all happening presumably,

1988
01:09:26,560 --> 01:09:28,520
let's just say, above New York.

1989
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:31,120
Because there were skyscrapers when he went down below.

1990
01:09:31,120 --> 01:09:34,440
Let's just say this whole movie takes place right

1991
01:09:34,440 --> 01:09:36,000
above the state of New York.

1992
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,240
And that would make sense, even if they were traveling

1993
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:40,960
days on any direction.

1994
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:44,880
They're not covering more than a few hundred mile square

1995
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:45,440
radius.

1996
01:09:45,440 --> 01:09:50,360
So that land could be just one of many dry lands.

1997
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:53,520
And if you go to the opposite side of the world, China,

1998
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:55,640
or you go to Australia or whatever,

1999
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:58,960
there could be huge continents that we were that-

2000
01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:01,520
Yeah, people don't realize the size of the world.

2001
01:10:01,520 --> 01:10:05,000
A couple of months ago, they still

2002
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:08,120
find tribes that have never been contacted.

2003
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:11,400
So even today, with all our technology, all our modern

2004
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:13,360
stuff, there's still people out there that never

2005
01:10:13,360 --> 01:10:15,680
been seen.

2006
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:17,680
I love that whole story about this guy that

2007
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,920
was like a Christian minister or whatever.

2008
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:23,080
And he goes to the island, try to bring in the Bible,

2009
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:26,080
and they just fucking murk him right there on the beach.

2010
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,680
Yeah, I mean, look, if you want to spread your religion,

2011
01:10:28,680 --> 01:10:29,440
that's on you.

2012
01:10:29,440 --> 01:10:34,440
But some people don't want to watch your shit near them.

2013
01:10:34,440 --> 01:10:35,520
Or my house.

2014
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:37,040
Yeah, or my house.

2015
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:38,520
Although, if you do come here, you're

2016
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:41,680
welcome to jump on the podcast.

2017
01:10:41,680 --> 01:10:43,800
I want to send a bunch of fried rice podcast

2018
01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:46,680
shirts to Sentinel Island.

2019
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:48,840
Just running around in it the whole time?

2020
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:51,560
That'd be great.

2021
01:10:51,560 --> 01:10:54,440
Well, I'm ready to rate this thing,

2022
01:10:54,440 --> 01:10:57,120
because I've gotten through all my notes and thoughts.

2023
01:10:57,120 --> 01:10:59,040
I know we don't do high scores anymore.

2024
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:01,000
This is just my last thought, high scores.

2025
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,200
The score of this movie, fucking amazing,

2026
01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:04,760
if you haven't listened to it already.

2027
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:09,200
Yeah, the score is fucking real good.

2028
01:11:09,200 --> 01:11:10,760
It's a really good.

2029
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:12,640
Sorry, I just want to check to see if Don Barres.

2030
01:11:12,640 --> 01:11:13,960
Don Barres hits you back up?

2031
01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:14,440
Yeah.

2032
01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:15,680
No, I think he's mad at you.

2033
01:11:15,680 --> 01:11:16,640
I don't think he likes you.

2034
01:11:16,640 --> 01:11:17,400
Mad at me?

2035
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:18,000
Why?

2036
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:19,760
I know he was probably just joking,

2037
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:22,680
but it seemed like just in the middle of the conversation

2038
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,960
he was having with that chick, you message as fried rice

2039
01:11:25,960 --> 01:11:27,960
podcast, and he reads it out loud.

2040
01:11:27,960 --> 01:11:29,480
Fuck you, Anthony Mitchell.

2041
01:11:29,480 --> 01:11:30,400
I fucking hate you.

2042
01:11:30,400 --> 01:11:31,280
I want to be your friend.

2043
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:32,400
I'll show him after this.

2044
01:11:32,400 --> 01:11:35,200
But for the other movie that we're

2045
01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:37,160
going to be reviewing later on tonight,

2046
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:39,160
Windy City Heat, which is a prank that they pulled

2047
01:11:39,160 --> 01:11:40,240
on some guy.

2048
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:44,800
One of the two pranksters, I guess, who's a comedian.

2049
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,040
His name is Don Barres.

2050
01:11:46,040 --> 01:11:48,360
After watching the movie, I had never heard of him

2051
01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:48,920
prior to this.

2052
01:11:48,920 --> 01:11:49,640
I think I know.

2053
01:11:49,640 --> 01:11:51,240
Well, that's not true, because I saw him on Kill Tony,

2054
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:53,520
but I didn't know who he was, because he was one

2055
01:11:53,520 --> 01:11:55,120
of the more recent Kill Tonys.

2056
01:11:55,120 --> 01:12:00,000
And I reach out to him, because I saw he was live on Instagram.

2057
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:02,600
And to be fair, I'll show you the whole clip.

2058
01:12:02,600 --> 01:12:04,840
I don't think he was really mad at me,

2059
01:12:04,840 --> 01:12:07,320
because if you look, all it is is

2060
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:11,840
that the chick is reading off messages to him.

2061
01:12:11,840 --> 01:12:13,760
All she's doing is reading the chat to him.

2062
01:12:13,760 --> 01:12:17,440
And so he saw mine, and he said, like, fried rice pie.

2063
01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:18,520
And then he started reading it.

2064
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:21,520
And then he did a very funny shout out to Anthony Mitchell,

2065
01:12:21,520 --> 01:12:23,280
where he's like, Anthony fucking Mitchell,

2066
01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:24,720
it's people like you that make me

2067
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:27,000
want to beat the fucking shit out of every person I ever

2068
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,360
fucking see in this world.

2069
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:29,480
And I'm like, nice.

2070
01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:30,840
That'll make Anthony happy.

2071
01:12:30,840 --> 01:12:32,600
Anthony was very happy.

2072
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,120
And he sent me like, this is an early birthday present.

2073
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:37,640
I'm so giddy, because it's like one of his favorite dudes.

2074
01:12:37,640 --> 01:12:38,560
It's his favorite movie.

2075
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:41,280
So I was actually pretty happy.

2076
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:44,480
So look, listen, Waterworld.

2077
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:45,520
Well acted.

2078
01:12:45,520 --> 01:12:46,000
It is.

2079
01:12:46,000 --> 01:12:46,800
It's well acted.

2080
01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:48,640
I mean, it's a little goofy at times.

2081
01:12:48,640 --> 01:12:51,040
And there's some overacting and some underacting.

2082
01:12:51,040 --> 01:12:54,400
And there's some dips in the energy at times.

2083
01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:57,280
Any movie this long is going to have parts that aren't great.

2084
01:12:57,280 --> 01:12:57,600
Yeah.

2085
01:12:57,600 --> 01:12:59,480
But it's a miracle this movie was even made.

2086
01:12:59,480 --> 01:13:01,840
And it was originally going to be a lot less than this.

2087
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:02,640
Yeah.

2088
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:03,240
I'm so cute.

2089
01:13:03,240 --> 01:13:04,560
Oh, there was all kinds of stuff.

2090
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:07,880
This was almost slipstream on water.

2091
01:13:07,880 --> 01:13:09,240
Thank god it's not.

2092
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:12,120
The director and this Kevin Reynolds, right?

2093
01:13:12,120 --> 01:13:12,920
And Kevin Costner.

2094
01:13:12,920 --> 01:13:15,720
And they were friends, like real friends.

2095
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:18,360
And by the end of this movie, they didn't speak to each other.

2096
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:19,920
Reynolds walked off the project.

2097
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:25,840
Costner had to take over the directing and editing.

2098
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:29,520
And Reynolds, his quote after when they asked him about it,

2099
01:13:29,520 --> 01:13:32,080
says Kevin Costner should only star in movies he directs.

2100
01:13:32,080 --> 01:13:33,920
That way he can work with his favorite actor

2101
01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:35,960
and his favorite director.

2102
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:37,880
You know what?

2103
01:13:37,880 --> 01:13:39,480
I love that line.

2104
01:13:39,480 --> 01:13:42,440
And I think he said, OK.

2105
01:13:42,440 --> 01:13:45,720
And then he went on to make, if I'm not mistaken,

2106
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:50,960
he went on to make Dances with Wolves, which won him an Oscar.

2107
01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:51,680
But hold on.

2108
01:13:51,680 --> 01:13:53,680
Let me just.

2109
01:13:53,680 --> 01:13:54,440
Kevin.

2110
01:13:54,440 --> 01:13:55,360
What's he look like now?

2111
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:56,080
What's his name?

2112
01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:56,680
Kevin Costner.

2113
01:13:56,680 --> 01:13:59,120
He's the one I, yeah.

2114
01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:00,720
See, he can still do it.

2115
01:14:00,720 --> 01:14:01,240
Oh, no.

2116
01:14:01,240 --> 01:14:02,640
Dances with Wolves was first.

2117
01:14:02,640 --> 01:14:03,840
My bad.

2118
01:14:03,840 --> 01:14:05,200
So Dances with Wolves.

2119
01:14:05,200 --> 01:14:07,200
What do you make after this?

2120
01:14:07,200 --> 01:14:09,520
That's pre-apocalyptic, is what I mean.

2121
01:14:09,520 --> 01:14:10,680
Let's look at, yeah.

2122
01:14:10,680 --> 01:14:13,640
So we had, I mean, this guy.

2123
01:14:13,640 --> 01:14:14,160
Oh, no.

2124
01:14:14,160 --> 01:14:16,200
He's very poor.

2125
01:14:16,200 --> 01:14:20,280
I mean, from Untouchables, Bull Durham.

2126
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:20,920
Robin Hood.

2127
01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:22,360
Field of Dreams, right?

2128
01:14:22,360 --> 01:14:23,960
But then, let's see.

2129
01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:25,440
He did Dances with Wolves.

2130
01:14:25,440 --> 01:14:29,200
Now you know he can do a three hour epic,

2131
01:14:29,200 --> 01:14:30,480
is what people were thinking.

2132
01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:31,000
Oh, shit.

2133
01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:32,120
This won a bunch of Oscars.

2134
01:14:32,120 --> 01:14:33,520
He's did amazing in it.

2135
01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:34,800
You know, let's do that.

2136
01:14:34,800 --> 01:14:37,760
Then we got Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, another long but

2137
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:39,400
awesome epic.

2138
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:40,200
He was in JFK.

2139
01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:41,960
JFK, that's the one where it's like in court,

2140
01:14:41,960 --> 01:14:44,840
and that's the first time anyone saw the footage of JFK

2141
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:45,480
getting shot.

2142
01:14:45,480 --> 01:14:46,720
The Brutal Films or whatever.

2143
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:47,840
Yeah.

2144
01:14:47,840 --> 01:14:49,200
The Bodyguard.

2145
01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:51,040
Isn't he the Bodyguard in that?

2146
01:14:51,040 --> 01:14:59,120
And the, I will always love you.

2147
01:14:59,120 --> 01:15:01,400
That's where that got famous from.

2148
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:02,560
Wyatt Earp, he was Wyatt Earp.

2149
01:15:02,560 --> 01:15:04,440
And the Wyatt Earp I've never seen.

2150
01:15:04,440 --> 01:15:06,720
Because any time I'm going to watch a Wyatt Earp movie,

2151
01:15:06,720 --> 01:15:07,760
I watch Tombstone.

2152
01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:09,760
Because why would I ever watch anything

2153
01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:13,120
that isn't Tombstone when I want to watch Wyatt Earp?

2154
01:15:13,120 --> 01:15:15,320
3,000 miles to Graceland.

2155
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:16,520
That's one of the best.

2156
01:15:16,520 --> 01:15:19,000
I believe I've started that movie so many times

2157
01:15:19,000 --> 01:15:20,080
as a small child.

2158
01:15:20,080 --> 01:15:21,520
And my parents are like, what the fuck are you doing watching

2159
01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:21,680
that?

2160
01:15:21,680 --> 01:15:22,960
And I watched it.

2161
01:15:22,960 --> 01:15:25,240
They took it away, so I never got to.

2162
01:15:25,240 --> 01:15:26,960
They dress up like Elvis and Rob people.

2163
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:28,400
That's as far as I could get.

2164
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:30,280
So I mean, it's really good.

2165
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:31,200
I love 3,000 miles.

2166
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:31,680
But then OK.

2167
01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:33,640
So then after, I'm sure.

2168
01:15:33,640 --> 01:15:36,640
So then Waterworld is 95.

2169
01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:39,520
So I mean, we had a success after success after success

2170
01:15:39,520 --> 01:15:40,640
after success.

2171
01:15:40,640 --> 01:15:42,080
And then Waterworld.

2172
01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:43,120
Huge flop.

2173
01:15:43,120 --> 01:15:45,240
Everyone hated it.

2174
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:47,040
They hated it before it came out.

2175
01:15:47,040 --> 01:15:49,440
This is like the Borderlands of 1995.

2176
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:51,560
It made a bunch of money.

2177
01:15:51,560 --> 01:15:53,280
It's just not as much as it should

2178
01:15:53,280 --> 01:15:54,760
have for the budget that it had.

2179
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:55,960
Like made more than it's budget.

2180
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:58,840
It was considered a flop, but they made money.

2181
01:15:58,840 --> 01:16:00,880
I think it's just like Borderlands right now.

2182
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:02,960
Like nobody's seen Borderlands that I know.

2183
01:16:02,960 --> 01:16:05,480
And it's the most hated movie I've talked to right now.

2184
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:07,880
Yeah, Charlie, Moist Critical.

2185
01:16:07,880 --> 01:16:08,920
I see a video pop up.

2186
01:16:08,920 --> 01:16:10,880
Because I just listened to the Bad Friends episode

2187
01:16:10,880 --> 01:16:12,160
where they had Jack Black.

2188
01:16:12,160 --> 01:16:14,000
And they recorded it like three weeks ago.

2189
01:16:14,000 --> 01:16:15,920
So it was before the Kyle Gass thing.

2190
01:16:15,920 --> 01:16:17,600
And they're talking about Borderlands.

2191
01:16:17,600 --> 01:16:18,480
Bobby Lee is in it.

2192
01:16:18,480 --> 01:16:20,960
He's on the fucking poster in the movie.

2193
01:16:20,960 --> 01:16:22,720
He made the poster.

2194
01:16:22,720 --> 01:16:23,800
What is he in the movie?

2195
01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:24,320
I don't know.

2196
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:25,280
I don't remember.

2197
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:26,120
None of us have seen it.

2198
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,000
No one's seen it, but everybody hates on it.

2199
01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:30,480
But Moist Critical, on my little YouTube feed,

2200
01:16:30,480 --> 01:16:32,600
I follow him.

2201
01:16:32,600 --> 01:16:33,720
And I see Moist Critical.

2202
01:16:33,720 --> 01:16:34,960
And it just shows Borderlands.

2203
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:37,080
And he says, Borderlands is horrible.

2204
01:16:37,080 --> 01:16:38,520
I'm like, oh, no.

2205
01:16:38,520 --> 01:16:41,800
That's my recommendation thing this week.

2206
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:43,440
One of the movies I'm going to talk about

2207
01:16:43,440 --> 01:16:45,120
is going to relate to Borderlands.

2208
01:16:45,120 --> 01:16:46,080
It's the same thing.

2209
01:16:46,080 --> 01:16:49,760
We cherish video game shows and movies when they do good.

2210
01:16:49,760 --> 01:16:52,440
And then when a bad one comes out, dude,

2211
01:16:52,440 --> 01:16:54,120
it sets us back another 10 fucking years.

2212
01:16:54,120 --> 01:16:55,440
How does anybody know if it's bad?

2213
01:16:55,440 --> 01:16:57,360
Everyone who's saying it hasn't seen it.

2214
01:16:57,360 --> 01:16:59,440
Well, I think if there's like a problem, isn't there like a?

2215
01:16:59,440 --> 01:17:00,800
Well, but no, but at the same time.

2216
01:17:00,800 --> 01:17:01,800
There's a premiere thing.

2217
01:17:01,800 --> 01:17:03,320
People get review copies and stuff.

2218
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:06,320
If every critic is saying it's shit,

2219
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:07,800
well, then Water Warp will be shit.

2220
01:17:07,800 --> 01:17:10,520
It's 43% or something.

2221
01:17:10,520 --> 01:17:11,720
See what I'm saying?

2222
01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:13,720
They didn't watch the Ulysses cut.

2223
01:17:13,720 --> 01:17:21,680
I think it's almost like 90% of the posts on Twitter

2224
01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:24,120
are from 10% of the users on Twitter.

2225
01:17:24,120 --> 01:17:25,960
So there's just such a small group of people

2226
01:17:25,960 --> 01:17:28,000
who have already seen Borderlands.

2227
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,680
And that small group of people don't like it

2228
01:17:30,680 --> 01:17:32,280
because they've already seen it already.

2229
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:36,040
Probably like the one with watermarks on it and shit.

2230
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:38,160
Those are the people that are reviewing it right now

2231
01:17:38,160 --> 01:17:39,160
and saying it's bad.

2232
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:39,640
Yeah.

2233
01:17:39,640 --> 01:17:44,480
I mean, when it goes streaming at some point in the future.

2234
01:17:44,480 --> 01:17:45,520
And not in theaters.

2235
01:17:45,520 --> 01:17:47,640
I might watch it.

2236
01:17:47,640 --> 01:17:49,760
And might is honestly the thing.

2237
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:51,760
It's like if one of you guys recommended it,

2238
01:17:51,760 --> 01:17:53,360
if it ever landed on 2B and one of you guys

2239
01:17:53,360 --> 01:17:55,360
said let's watch Borderlands, I might watch it.

2240
01:17:55,360 --> 01:17:56,240
Well, then I'd have to.

2241
01:17:56,240 --> 01:17:58,200
But my brother played a bunch of Borderlands.

2242
01:17:58,200 --> 01:17:59,640
I didn't play any Borderlands.

2243
01:17:59,640 --> 01:18:00,720
I've played all three.

2244
01:18:00,720 --> 01:18:02,280
So I'm going to ask him what he thought of the movie.

2245
01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:03,480
And if he says it's bad, I'm going

2246
01:18:03,480 --> 01:18:04,640
to take his word for it.

2247
01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:10,040
But the problem with Borderlands is like the premise

2248
01:18:10,040 --> 01:18:11,360
of the game is fun.

2249
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:13,520
The story is whatever.

2250
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:15,200
And so how are you going to take something

2251
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:17,560
where the premise is fun and the story is whatever

2252
01:18:17,560 --> 01:18:20,040
and turn it into a movie?

2253
01:18:20,040 --> 01:18:21,000
It doesn't just like.

2254
01:18:21,000 --> 01:18:22,280
You have to follow the same story.

2255
01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:22,800
No.

2256
01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:25,120
Well, I mean, it doesn't have to follow the same story.

2257
01:18:25,120 --> 01:18:28,000
But they are because they have exact characters

2258
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:29,040
from the games in there.

2259
01:18:29,040 --> 01:18:31,360
So they are following a semblance of the story, which

2260
01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:32,800
I don't think is the right move.

2261
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:35,320
I think they could have just done a story from Borderlands.

2262
01:18:35,320 --> 01:18:37,200
Set in the Borderlands universe.

2263
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:41,200
That's why some of the others work

2264
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:43,960
when they're not really trying to follow what happened.

2265
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:47,760
Yeah, but then at the same time, you, I know, I honestly,

2266
01:18:47,760 --> 01:18:51,280
what I'm thinking is if you want to adapt a video game

2267
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:54,280
into a movie or show, make sure it's a video game that

2268
01:18:54,280 --> 01:18:55,760
has a solid story.

2269
01:18:55,760 --> 01:18:59,040
Don't do one like World of Warcraft, the movie,

2270
01:18:59,040 --> 01:19:02,600
and just know that like, oh, if we put enough fan

2271
01:19:02,600 --> 01:19:05,640
favorite characters and fan servicey shit in there,

2272
01:19:05,640 --> 01:19:06,680
we can have a movie.

2273
01:19:06,680 --> 01:19:10,080
Because it's just it's a boring, stupid movie, right?

2274
01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:13,280
Assassin's Creed did its own thing.

2275
01:19:13,280 --> 01:19:14,760
I don't think that they were following

2276
01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:18,480
like the exact template that made like one

2277
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:19,680
of the games successful.

2278
01:19:19,680 --> 01:19:22,560
They were like doing their own thing.

2279
01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:23,400
So yeah, you're right.

2280
01:19:23,400 --> 01:19:25,800
But then you get a game, then you get a show like The Last

2281
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:27,920
of Us, where it's like, hey, here's

2282
01:19:27,920 --> 01:19:31,040
a game that's so story driven that we can make

2283
01:19:31,040 --> 01:19:35,640
into an actual compelling series that you don't need to play.

2284
01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:37,880
Because it's like when I watch an Assassin's Creed movie

2285
01:19:37,880 --> 01:19:40,560
or World of Warcraft movie or I'm sure Borderlands movie,

2286
01:19:40,560 --> 01:19:43,160
I'm like, I'd rather just be playing the game right now

2287
01:19:43,160 --> 01:19:44,200
than watching this movie.

2288
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:46,640
I'll give you an example, Hitman.

2289
01:19:46,640 --> 01:19:47,760
Hitman, exactly.

2290
01:19:47,760 --> 01:19:48,840
Wait, which Hitman though?

2291
01:19:48,840 --> 01:19:50,440
Well, I like them, but it doesn't matter.

2292
01:19:50,440 --> 01:19:51,120
That's the point.

2293
01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:52,920
They're not, they don't really follow the storyline

2294
01:19:52,920 --> 01:19:53,800
from the game.

2295
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:55,680
The first one was amazing.

2296
01:19:55,680 --> 01:19:57,080
It didn't make me want to play the game.

2297
01:19:57,080 --> 01:19:58,800
Didn't make me not like the game though.

2298
01:19:58,800 --> 01:20:01,640
But that first Hitman movie, fucking great.

2299
01:20:01,640 --> 01:20:03,200
First Hitman movie's OK.

2300
01:20:03,200 --> 01:20:05,040
Second Hitman movie, I think I actually

2301
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:06,680
liked a little bit better.

2302
01:20:06,680 --> 01:20:09,000
I'm not memorable at all for me.

2303
01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:11,640
I remember there was a rooftop and a helicopter explodes.

2304
01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:12,120
That's it.

2305
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:13,760
That's all I remember from the newer one.

2306
01:20:13,760 --> 01:20:15,160
Which is the, I might be mistaken.

2307
01:20:15,160 --> 01:20:16,120
Timothy Alphonse.

2308
01:20:16,120 --> 01:20:17,720
Yeah, I know.

2309
01:20:17,720 --> 01:20:21,960
But which is the one where they have the sniper rifle

2310
01:20:21,960 --> 01:20:24,840
in the interrogation room with him.

2311
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:28,960
And he somehow, it's an unloaded sniper rifle

2312
01:20:28,960 --> 01:20:29,760
in the room with him.

2313
01:20:29,760 --> 01:20:31,240
But then they pull a bullet out.

2314
01:20:31,240 --> 01:20:33,280
They're like, so how did this happen or whatever?

2315
01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:37,400
He somehow puts it in there and shoots his way out.

2316
01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:38,560
That's probably the newer one.

2317
01:20:38,560 --> 01:20:40,200
OK, it was pretty cool.

2318
01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:44,120
Anyway, Waterworld, let's rate this bitch.

2319
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:45,720
We, here at Fried Rice Podcast, we

2320
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:48,360
have a scale that goes from B to W. We

2321
01:20:48,360 --> 01:20:51,080
skip all the letters between F and W.

2322
01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:55,000
So it's really just B through F and then W. So that's our scale.

2323
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:59,320
B is our best because we don't have, I don't know,

2324
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:01,160
we haven't thought of anything better yet.

2325
01:21:01,160 --> 01:21:02,760
And we've had so much time to.

2326
01:21:02,760 --> 01:21:05,200
And I just feel like we're just really

2327
01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:07,320
phoning in this rating system at the end here.

2328
01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:09,720
Because we really should just have something better by now.

2329
01:21:09,720 --> 01:21:10,480
But whatever.

2330
01:21:10,480 --> 01:21:12,440
Here's where we're at.

2331
01:21:12,440 --> 01:21:16,360
So I give this a strong C+.

2332
01:21:16,360 --> 01:21:18,800
I love watching Waterworld.

2333
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:21,160
I enjoy it every time.

2334
01:21:21,160 --> 01:21:23,240
I liked watching the extended cut this time.

2335
01:21:23,240 --> 01:21:27,680
I wish I knew which scenes I saw that you guys didn't.

2336
01:21:27,680 --> 01:21:28,920
But yeah, huge fan.

2337
01:21:28,920 --> 01:21:30,600
It also made me watch The Postman, which

2338
01:21:30,600 --> 01:21:31,840
I didn't talk anything about.

2339
01:21:31,840 --> 01:21:32,960
But again, if you want that, we're

2340
01:21:32,960 --> 01:21:36,280
going to talk a lot about it at our Blitz Barcadium live

2341
01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:36,800
stream.

2342
01:21:36,800 --> 01:21:38,760
So we'll let you know when that's going to happen.

2343
01:21:38,760 --> 01:21:40,080
So yeah, C+, for me.

2344
01:21:40,080 --> 01:21:42,400
How about you guys?

2345
01:21:42,400 --> 01:21:47,600
So this is just a fun action adventure movie.

2346
01:21:47,600 --> 01:21:50,440
Kind of old, but it still holds up.

2347
01:21:50,440 --> 01:21:52,960
The effects still pretty much hold up.

2348
01:21:52,960 --> 01:21:56,360
Even where they fall short, it makes up for it in other parts.

2349
01:21:56,360 --> 01:21:57,400
It's really smart.

2350
01:21:57,400 --> 01:22:04,360
There's a lot of some twists and good acting, great score.

2351
01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:07,680
So I'm going to give it a B. Or five piss jugs.

2352
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:14,040
You know, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen.

2353
01:22:14,040 --> 01:22:16,320
It just felt a little uninspired at parts

2354
01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:19,440
that was like, moved a little slow at times,

2355
01:22:19,440 --> 01:22:21,520
and then really fast.

2356
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,480
The pacing in it is a little off.

2357
01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:26,080
And that could be the cut, the two hour cut,

2358
01:22:26,080 --> 01:22:28,040
versus the three hour cut heat saw.

2359
01:22:28,040 --> 01:22:30,440
So the pacing might have been a little different in the one

2360
01:22:30,440 --> 01:22:32,920
we saw.

2361
01:22:32,920 --> 01:22:34,560
It's got all the ingredients, but it's

2362
01:22:34,560 --> 01:22:35,640
like something's missing.

2363
01:22:35,640 --> 01:22:38,440
And it could be the things you saw that I didn't.

2364
01:22:38,440 --> 01:22:40,480
Do you have any examples of it speeding up?

2365
01:22:40,480 --> 01:22:43,240
Because I wonder if you knew a specific thing.

2366
01:22:43,240 --> 01:22:44,560
Well, yeah, jumps, time jumps.

2367
01:22:44,560 --> 01:22:46,200
There was a lot of time jumps in it.

2368
01:22:46,200 --> 01:22:47,760
Like where you were talking about where

2369
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:49,960
you followed the flame that wasn't in it.

2370
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:51,160
Where you went from.

2371
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:53,640
So he just went from like, I'm going to go get these guys.

2372
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:55,320
And then he goes to get them guys.

2373
01:22:55,320 --> 01:22:56,920
And then he pulls up to the smoke.

2374
01:22:56,920 --> 01:22:58,000
Right, exactly.

2375
01:22:58,000 --> 01:22:58,920
Oil thing?

2376
01:22:58,920 --> 01:22:59,760
Yeah.

2377
01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:00,680
So that kind of thing.

2378
01:23:00,680 --> 01:23:05,240
It's like pacing that's off at times.

2379
01:23:05,240 --> 01:23:06,120
Something's missing.

2380
01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:08,040
I do might be where we missed.

2381
01:23:08,040 --> 01:23:10,400
Likeable hero.

2382
01:23:10,400 --> 01:23:12,960
It feels like a B movie, even though it's really

2383
01:23:12,960 --> 01:23:17,840
a plot movie plot.

2384
01:23:17,840 --> 01:23:20,280
Space workers at this have more in common than you think.

2385
01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:26,760
But it was ambitious.

2386
01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:28,200
And it's enjoyable to watch.

2387
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:29,920
It's not bad to watch.

2388
01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,880
It's not a bad movie.

2389
01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:37,560
But it's C minus.

2390
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:39,560
OK, so Mike's a C minus.

2391
01:23:39,560 --> 01:23:40,960
Austin's a B.

2392
01:23:40,960 --> 01:23:42,640
Five piss jokes.

2393
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:44,000
Five piss jugs.

2394
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:48,240
Mine would be five, don't fuck that mutant freak.

2395
01:23:48,240 --> 01:23:52,320
You're better than that girl out of five.

2396
01:23:52,320 --> 01:23:55,240
Mine was two and a half leaking sailboats.

2397
01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:56,360
Two and a half?

2398
01:23:56,360 --> 01:23:57,160
Oh, mine wasn't five.

2399
01:23:57,160 --> 01:23:57,960
I'm so sorry.

2400
01:23:57,960 --> 01:23:58,640
Mine was four.

2401
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:01,720
Mine would be like a 3.5.

2402
01:24:01,720 --> 01:24:01,960
You know what?

2403
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:02,400
Four.

2404
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:03,000
So mine's a four.

2405
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:03,520
Yours is a five.

2406
01:24:03,520 --> 01:24:05,720
Yours is a 2.5.

2407
01:24:05,720 --> 01:24:09,600
C plus B, C minus.

2408
01:24:09,600 --> 01:24:12,560
Let's put this out of C plus.

2409
01:24:12,560 --> 01:24:13,160
Yeah.

2410
01:24:13,160 --> 01:24:15,440
So C plus Water World.

2411
01:24:15,440 --> 01:24:18,360
Which is like the right rating.

2412
01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:23,000
Like we said, Rot Tomatoes has it audience 43%,

2413
01:24:23,000 --> 01:24:26,120
which would be a D minus or an F really.

2414
01:24:26,120 --> 01:24:27,800
And critics at 46.

2415
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:30,720
Critics likely better than the audience.

2416
01:24:30,720 --> 01:24:33,800
Well, yeah, because critics are smarter.

2417
01:24:33,800 --> 01:24:36,440
Boy, I don't know about that.

2418
01:24:36,440 --> 01:24:38,200
OK, so there we go.

2419
01:24:38,200 --> 01:24:39,840
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

2420
01:24:39,840 --> 01:24:43,640
Now time for recreational recommendations.

2421
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:44,120
Or whatever.

2422
01:24:44,120 --> 01:24:48,120
What about the next movie?

2423
01:24:48,120 --> 01:24:49,440
All right, that works too.

2424
01:24:49,440 --> 01:24:50,120
Let's do that.

2425
01:24:50,120 --> 01:24:52,560
But I just wrote down recreational recommendations

2426
01:24:52,560 --> 01:24:54,200
at 124.

2427
01:24:54,200 --> 01:24:56,920
There we go.

2428
01:24:56,920 --> 01:24:57,320
Fuck it.

2429
01:24:57,320 --> 01:24:58,240
We'll do it later.

2430
01:24:58,240 --> 01:25:01,240
What's your what's Austin chooses this week's movie?

2431
01:25:01,240 --> 01:25:02,040
It's on 2B.

2432
01:25:02,040 --> 01:25:02,920
What is it?

2433
01:25:02,920 --> 01:25:05,480
It is going to be Only God Forgives.

2434
01:25:05,480 --> 01:25:08,880
Oh, Jesus.

2435
01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:10,360
What's that about?

2436
01:25:10,360 --> 01:25:11,520
Without giving away too much.

2437
01:25:11,520 --> 01:25:18,240
It's a guy lives in Bangkok in the crime scene.

2438
01:25:18,240 --> 01:25:21,680
And he's trying to get out of it.

2439
01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:23,400
I've very briefly read it.

2440
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:25,200
And I'm like, I don't know much about this.

2441
01:25:25,200 --> 01:25:26,880
2013.

2442
01:25:26,880 --> 01:25:27,680
Ryan Reynolds.

2443
01:25:27,680 --> 01:25:29,440
A remorseful man with a shady past

2444
01:25:29,440 --> 01:25:31,440
who longs to escape his role in Bangkok's

2445
01:25:31,440 --> 01:25:33,040
gritty criminal underbelly gets sucked

2446
01:25:33,040 --> 01:25:35,520
into a brutal cycle of revenge.

2447
01:25:35,520 --> 01:25:36,400
So it's vague enough.

2448
01:25:36,400 --> 01:25:38,760
Probably like a cool crime drama thing.

2449
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,360
Also, Ryan Gosling.

2450
01:25:40,360 --> 01:25:42,840
I've always been told I look just like him.

2451
01:25:42,840 --> 01:25:44,600
Yeah, OK.

2452
01:25:44,600 --> 01:25:46,680
We'll just pretend that it's me.

2453
01:25:46,680 --> 01:25:47,960
So when he wants the postman, I'm

2454
01:25:47,960 --> 01:25:50,520
going to pretend that it's Hank.

2455
01:25:50,520 --> 01:25:51,440
Our boy Hank Hilbert.

2456
01:25:51,440 --> 01:25:54,120
Our boy Hank Hilbert, who was a postman.

2457
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:56,320
All right, recreational recommendations.

2458
01:25:56,320 --> 01:26:23,320
I read Nikki Sixx's The Heroin Diaries.

2459
01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:25,360
And it was actually kind of a fun read.

2460
01:26:25,360 --> 01:26:29,440
The book itself is like a piece of art.

2461
01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:33,280
Nikki Sixx took diary entries the entire time

2462
01:26:33,280 --> 01:26:35,920
for the entire year of 1987.

2463
01:26:35,920 --> 01:26:38,280
And it's during the Girls, Girls, Girls tour.

2464
01:26:38,280 --> 01:26:39,200
Who's Nikki Sixx?

2465
01:26:39,200 --> 01:26:43,840
Nikki Sixx is the bassist and songwriter for Motley Crue.

2466
01:26:43,840 --> 01:26:44,640
Thank you.

2467
01:26:44,640 --> 01:26:48,280
So it's like a bunch of diary entries.

2468
01:26:48,280 --> 01:26:50,880
He collected them all, found them all.

2469
01:26:50,880 --> 01:26:54,320
Wait, Motley Crue does girls, girls, girls.

2470
01:26:54,320 --> 01:26:56,040
Sixx star at my heart.

2471
01:26:56,040 --> 01:26:56,560
All right.

2472
01:26:56,560 --> 01:27:01,800
Whoa, sorry to the Rice presidents out there.

2473
01:27:01,800 --> 01:27:03,160
Why?

2474
01:27:03,160 --> 01:27:04,280
Nothing.

2475
01:27:04,280 --> 01:27:05,720
Why are you apologizing to them?

2476
01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:06,960
Because I don't know Motley Crue.

2477
01:27:06,960 --> 01:27:10,040
Yeah, I think that's going to make them like, Jesus Christ.

2478
01:27:10,040 --> 01:27:12,600
Sorry, it's an obscure.

2479
01:27:12,600 --> 01:27:13,920
I mean, they're not that obscure.

2480
01:27:13,920 --> 01:27:16,320
But it's just like it's hair metal.

2481
01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:22,120
Or it's not hard enough for me.

2482
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:23,440
Motley Crue is never hard enough.

2483
01:27:23,440 --> 01:27:25,920
Once you read this book, you'll realize exactly how fucking

2484
01:27:25,920 --> 01:27:26,800
hard they were.

2485
01:27:26,800 --> 01:27:30,400
Because Nikki Sixx, he was like the visionary

2486
01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:31,840
behind everything Motley Crue.

2487
01:27:31,840 --> 01:27:33,640
Like everyone listened to him.

2488
01:27:33,640 --> 01:27:35,560
They just got huge.

2489
01:27:35,560 --> 01:27:40,600
They just did the tour for their previous album, whatever.

2490
01:27:40,600 --> 01:27:43,880
They're about to go on tour for Girls, Girls, Girls.

2491
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:46,000
And it's all these diary entries.

2492
01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:47,560
And so he found them all.

2493
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:51,520
He enlists this guy to help him piece together

2494
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:54,040
times and places and everything.

2495
01:27:54,040 --> 01:27:56,320
So you read a diary entry.

2496
01:27:56,320 --> 01:27:59,240
And then whoever's involved in the diary entry,

2497
01:27:59,240 --> 01:28:02,440
they get their like, OK, now this is what they think.

2498
01:28:02,440 --> 01:28:06,680
So it'll say something about him doing heroin with Tommy Lee.

2499
01:28:06,680 --> 01:28:08,200
That's the whole diary entry.

2500
01:28:08,200 --> 01:28:10,960
And then it'll say, it'll have a short interview

2501
01:28:10,960 --> 01:28:14,560
snippet of Tommy Lee talking about it,

2502
01:28:14,560 --> 01:28:16,160
like now in current time.

2503
01:28:16,160 --> 01:28:16,720
I mean, that's pretty interesting.

2504
01:28:16,720 --> 01:28:17,920
It's going back and forth.

2505
01:28:17,920 --> 01:28:20,480
And every single page has artwork.

2506
01:28:20,480 --> 01:28:23,680
Not like a picture book, not where it takes away from,

2507
01:28:23,680 --> 01:28:26,280
you know, to make it longer or anything.

2508
01:28:26,280 --> 01:28:28,040
It's just whatever they're talking about,

2509
01:28:28,040 --> 01:28:30,760
there's some cool drawing, like a doodle, kind of like you're

2510
01:28:30,760 --> 01:28:32,200
reading his actual diary.

2511
01:28:32,200 --> 01:28:34,760
There's like little doodles and pictures and stuff.

2512
01:28:34,760 --> 01:28:35,920
That sounds awesome.

2513
01:28:35,920 --> 01:28:38,440
And it goes through without the whole year of him

2514
01:28:38,440 --> 01:28:43,600
being just addicted to heroin and trying to get clean

2515
01:28:43,600 --> 01:28:46,480
and then relapsing, trying to get clean, relapsing.

2516
01:28:46,480 --> 01:28:49,400
And just all the shit that he went through when he died,

2517
01:28:49,400 --> 01:28:52,760
when he overdosed and Slash was there.

2518
01:28:52,760 --> 01:28:56,240
And everyone thought Nikki Sixx was dead for like a few hours.

2519
01:28:56,240 --> 01:28:57,240
Yeah.

2520
01:28:57,240 --> 01:28:58,040
Shit.

2521
01:28:58,040 --> 01:28:59,040
It's just a crazy story.

2522
01:28:59,040 --> 01:29:01,160
But like that gets all sad and dramatic.

2523
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:04,040
But then at the same time, concurrently,

2524
01:29:04,040 --> 01:29:07,800
there's the story of like all the crazy shit they did on tour.

2525
01:29:07,800 --> 01:29:09,080
OK.

2526
01:29:09,080 --> 01:29:10,720
So he's like, ah, this is sad on my end.

2527
01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:13,520
But the tour was fucking dope and lit.

2528
01:29:13,520 --> 01:29:14,040
Pretty much.

2529
01:29:14,040 --> 01:29:15,440
Just everything that they were doing.

2530
01:29:15,440 --> 01:29:17,440
And then I'm sure there's an undercurrent of like him

2531
01:29:17,440 --> 01:29:19,440
talking about how life's better now.

2532
01:29:19,440 --> 01:29:20,080
Oh, yeah.

2533
01:29:20,080 --> 01:29:20,600
Yeah.

2534
01:29:20,600 --> 01:29:21,720
He's into photography now.

2535
01:29:21,720 --> 01:29:23,280
And that sounds awesome.

2536
01:29:23,280 --> 01:29:24,120
It's like a good.

2537
01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:26,280
That sounds like a good one of my favorite chapters, though,

2538
01:29:26,280 --> 01:29:28,880
is when he talks about they went to a radio station.

2539
01:29:28,880 --> 01:29:30,800
There's this young DJ.

2540
01:29:30,800 --> 01:29:32,320
They're live on the air.

2541
01:29:32,320 --> 01:29:34,720
And they're just ripping lines of cocaine

2542
01:29:34,720 --> 01:29:36,160
and drinking Jack Daniels.

2543
01:29:36,160 --> 01:29:38,800
And then they get the DJ to start doing it.

2544
01:29:38,800 --> 01:29:42,280
So the DJ is fucked up.

2545
01:29:42,280 --> 01:29:44,120
And they're all sweat like shit and fuck

2546
01:29:44,120 --> 01:29:47,000
like every few words on the radio.

2547
01:29:47,000 --> 01:29:49,000
That's and they're taking calls in.

2548
01:29:49,000 --> 01:29:50,480
And they're just fucking with people.

2549
01:29:50,480 --> 01:29:54,200
And they're like, they're like, tell us what this sound is.

2550
01:29:54,200 --> 01:29:57,040
And we'll give you tickets to the show or something.

2551
01:29:57,040 --> 01:29:59,160
And so Tommy Lee takes his dick out,

2552
01:29:59,160 --> 01:30:00,920
starts banging it on the table.

2553
01:30:00,920 --> 01:30:02,000
And then someone called in.

2554
01:30:02,000 --> 01:30:03,640
Is he banging his cock on the table?

2555
01:30:03,640 --> 01:30:05,400
And they're like, yeah, you want free tickets.

2556
01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:07,480
And then the next day, the DJ walks in.

2557
01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:09,800
And his boss is like, holds his finger up and is like,

2558
01:30:09,800 --> 01:30:10,840
what does this do?

2559
01:30:10,840 --> 01:30:12,600
He's like, I don't know.

2560
01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:14,240
It turns off the mic.

2561
01:30:14,240 --> 01:30:15,200
You should be in charge.

2562
01:30:15,200 --> 01:30:16,240
You're fired.

2563
01:30:16,240 --> 01:30:18,200
You got fired the next day.

2564
01:30:18,200 --> 01:30:19,800
Yeah, really fun book.

2565
01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:20,960
It was a fun read.

2566
01:30:20,960 --> 01:30:21,680
Yeah, OK.

2567
01:30:21,680 --> 01:30:23,480
So Nicky Six is what's it called?

2568
01:30:23,480 --> 01:30:25,160
Nicky Six's Heroin Diaries.

2569
01:30:25,160 --> 01:30:27,920
Nicky Six's Heroin Diaries from Austin.

2570
01:30:27,920 --> 01:30:30,280
OK, Mike, do you have anything to recommend?

2571
01:30:30,280 --> 01:30:33,640
Well, yeah, it's going to get a little controversial.

2572
01:30:33,640 --> 01:30:38,000
That can't be worse than Black commendations from last week.

2573
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:39,240
Maybe.

2574
01:30:39,240 --> 01:30:40,840
Madame Web.

2575
01:30:40,840 --> 01:30:41,800
OK.

2576
01:30:41,800 --> 01:30:43,120
Not a bad movie.

2577
01:30:43,120 --> 01:30:44,200
Not a good movie either.

2578
01:30:44,200 --> 01:30:46,600
I'm not saying it's the best movie ever made.

2579
01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:48,320
But we watched Madame Web this week.

2580
01:30:48,320 --> 01:30:50,080
I mean, I've not seen it in all this time,

2581
01:30:50,080 --> 01:30:52,520
all the toxic talk around it.

2582
01:30:52,520 --> 01:30:54,640
But then my granddaughter was getting kind

2583
01:30:54,640 --> 01:30:55,920
of the best feeling in the world.

2584
01:30:55,920 --> 01:31:00,360
My granddaughter came and got me out of bed on Thursday morning.

2585
01:31:00,360 --> 01:31:02,400
She was homesick from school.

2586
01:31:02,400 --> 01:31:05,280
And she's like, oh, I found a movie I want to watch.

2587
01:31:05,280 --> 01:31:07,600
I found a movie I want to watch.

2588
01:31:07,600 --> 01:31:09,840
And so she dragged me out of the living room.

2589
01:31:09,840 --> 01:31:11,320
I'm like, OK, what are we watching?

2590
01:31:11,320 --> 01:31:14,240
And she pulls up Madame Web.

2591
01:31:14,240 --> 01:31:16,480
And I'm like, OK, here we go.

2592
01:31:16,480 --> 01:31:19,280
Because everything I've heard about it has been horrible.

2593
01:31:19,280 --> 01:31:20,640
Sure.

2594
01:31:20,640 --> 01:31:22,520
Not a bad movie to get past the first 20 minutes.

2595
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:24,280
The first 20 minutes suck.

2596
01:31:24,280 --> 01:31:26,560
When my mom was studying spiders in the jungle.

2597
01:31:26,560 --> 01:31:27,480
Yeah, it sucks.

2598
01:31:27,480 --> 01:31:29,800
The first 20 minutes is just horrible.

2599
01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:33,960
But then it just becomes a typical action adventure

2600
01:31:33,960 --> 01:31:37,080
movie that can scream.

2601
01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:39,160
It's a very girl power movie.

2602
01:31:39,160 --> 01:31:43,720
So I get some of the toxic crap online.

2603
01:31:43,720 --> 01:31:45,800
The same Captain Marvel's crap.

2604
01:31:45,800 --> 01:31:50,040
The same shit, which is also not a bad thing.

2605
01:31:50,040 --> 01:31:53,240
It just made me think about how much of what we talk about

2606
01:31:53,240 --> 01:31:54,200
like we were talking about earlier.

2607
01:31:54,200 --> 01:31:56,360
I would still watch Madame Web before the acolyte.

2608
01:31:56,360 --> 01:31:57,960
You're not changing my mind.

2609
01:31:57,960 --> 01:31:59,680
Well, no, not even just that.

2610
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:01,680
It's just these movies that we haven't seen.

2611
01:32:01,680 --> 01:32:04,800
But we listen to what we hear online.

2612
01:32:04,800 --> 01:32:08,480
The media tells us, oh, this movie sucks.

2613
01:32:08,480 --> 01:32:10,880
Maybe a lot of times we should make that decision on our own

2614
01:32:10,880 --> 01:32:12,640
instead of listening to what everybody else has to say.

2615
01:32:12,640 --> 01:32:14,360
I'm probably still going to watch Madame Web.

2616
01:32:14,360 --> 01:32:16,880
I just think that one's more believable.

2617
01:32:16,880 --> 01:32:18,680
Because the whole thing with Sony

2618
01:32:18,680 --> 01:32:21,640
is that Marvel sold Spider-Man to Sony.

2619
01:32:21,640 --> 01:32:24,640
And they have to keep doing something with that property.

2620
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:26,400
Or they lose that property.

2621
01:32:26,400 --> 01:32:28,120
But now there's also a thing that Marvel

2622
01:32:28,120 --> 01:32:29,840
might get Spider-Man back.

2623
01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:33,000
Because there's also another thing.

2624
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:35,640
If they don't do anything with it for a certain amount of time,

2625
01:32:35,640 --> 01:32:37,320
they lose it and it goes back to Marvel.

2626
01:32:37,320 --> 01:32:41,600
But also, if they do something so bad and damaging to Spider-Man,

2627
01:32:41,600 --> 01:32:42,480
it also might.

2628
01:32:42,480 --> 01:32:44,520
So they've got to really walk a tightrope.

2629
01:32:44,520 --> 01:32:46,760
And I heard this one was like, oh, woo.

2630
01:32:46,760 --> 01:32:55,240
So technically, Sony could not put out a Spider-Man purposely

2631
01:32:55,240 --> 01:32:58,040
to be bad, to tarnish Spider-Man's.

2632
01:32:58,040 --> 01:32:58,720
They wouldn't.

2633
01:32:58,720 --> 01:32:59,440
They can't do that.

2634
01:32:59,440 --> 01:33:00,200
They wouldn't.

2635
01:33:00,200 --> 01:33:01,760
They don't want to lose the property.

2636
01:33:01,760 --> 01:33:03,160
Well, why would they want to?

2637
01:33:03,160 --> 01:33:06,640
But it's more like, for any number of reasons,

2638
01:33:06,640 --> 01:33:09,880
maybe they wanted to fuck over Marvel for some reason.

2639
01:33:09,880 --> 01:33:10,880
I'm not saying they are.

2640
01:33:10,880 --> 01:33:12,360
They seem to be working together pretty well.

2641
01:33:12,360 --> 01:33:14,640
No, Marvel gets it back if they don't want it.

2642
01:33:14,640 --> 01:33:18,120
But they could also get it back in a damaged state.

2643
01:33:18,120 --> 01:33:19,040
Like if you-

2644
01:33:19,040 --> 01:33:20,760
Oh, they'll just retcon everything Sony did.

2645
01:33:20,760 --> 01:33:22,160
Like KKK Spider-Man or something.

2646
01:33:22,160 --> 01:33:22,800
They'll retcon.

2647
01:33:22,800 --> 01:33:26,280
Or they'll do what Marvel did with the Netflix Jessica Jones

2648
01:33:26,280 --> 01:33:29,440
and Luke Cage and Daredevil and Punisher.

2649
01:33:29,440 --> 01:33:31,240
They just retconned all that, but they're still

2650
01:33:31,240 --> 01:33:32,400
using those same characters.

2651
01:33:32,400 --> 01:33:35,360
They're just like, OK, so that's its own little pocket universe.

2652
01:33:35,360 --> 01:33:37,000
That's what they're doing now.

2653
01:33:37,000 --> 01:33:38,320
They would just do that with Spider-Man.

2654
01:33:38,320 --> 01:33:40,440
They would keep little baby Tom Hall in a Spider-Man.

2655
01:33:40,440 --> 01:33:41,560
That's Earth Whatever.

2656
01:33:41,560 --> 01:33:42,440
This is Earth Whatever.

2657
01:33:42,440 --> 01:33:42,920
Yeah.

2658
01:33:42,920 --> 01:33:43,480
Here we go.

2659
01:33:43,480 --> 01:33:44,320
We're fine.

2660
01:33:44,320 --> 01:33:47,240
But basically, it's a good movie.

2661
01:33:47,240 --> 01:33:52,600
Especially if you've got female children or grandkids

2662
01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:54,760
or whatever, it's a good movie to watch with them.

2663
01:33:54,760 --> 01:33:56,240
It's empowering.

2664
01:33:56,240 --> 01:33:59,760
It's hard to make a bad Spider-Man anything, really.

2665
01:33:59,760 --> 01:34:00,720
Venom was big.

2666
01:34:00,720 --> 01:34:02,880
Everyone liked that.

2667
01:34:02,880 --> 01:34:04,600
I didn't care for the Venom movies.

2668
01:34:04,600 --> 01:34:06,360
The games are fantastic.

2669
01:34:06,360 --> 01:34:09,040
I'm currently playing through the new Spider-Man game.

2670
01:34:09,040 --> 01:34:11,040
I platinumed the last two.

2671
01:34:11,040 --> 01:34:12,520
I platinumed the last two as well.

2672
01:34:12,520 --> 01:34:15,160
I want to do it for this one.

2673
01:34:15,160 --> 01:34:19,200
I guess if you're talking about Marvel's Spider-Man 2.

2674
01:34:19,200 --> 01:34:22,120
Yeah, Marvel's Spider-Man 2, that's the one I still in the middle.

2675
01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:23,520
So I platinum all three, then, if you

2676
01:34:23,520 --> 01:34:25,240
want to include that middle one, Miles Morales.

2677
01:34:25,240 --> 01:34:27,800
I platinum Miles Morales and the original Spider-Man.

2678
01:34:27,800 --> 01:34:30,040
Yeah, so trust me, the games are, I love the games.

2679
01:34:30,040 --> 01:34:33,120
Into the Spider-Verse and across the Spider-Verse.

2680
01:34:33,120 --> 01:34:34,760
Those are the best Spider-Man movies.

2681
01:34:34,760 --> 01:34:35,160
Those are great.

2682
01:34:35,160 --> 01:34:36,040
Those are amazing.

2683
01:34:36,040 --> 01:34:37,160
I think those are the best Spider-Man movies.

2684
01:34:37,160 --> 01:34:38,960
The artwork, you know?

2685
01:34:38,960 --> 01:34:40,680
Actually, my favorite Spider-Man movies

2686
01:34:40,680 --> 01:34:43,200
are the Tom Holland trilogy.

2687
01:34:43,200 --> 01:34:45,320
He's my favorite Spider-Man so far.

2688
01:34:45,320 --> 01:34:48,360
That trilogy is the most solid trilogy.

2689
01:34:48,360 --> 01:34:51,720
It does require a lot of extra Marvel homework

2690
01:34:51,720 --> 01:34:54,360
to get a lot of the emotional impact,

2691
01:34:54,360 --> 01:34:55,600
especially from the third movie.

2692
01:34:55,600 --> 01:34:57,200
But whatever, I still love it.

2693
01:34:57,200 --> 01:35:01,440
Dr. Strange and the other Spider-Men, Tom Holland and,

2694
01:35:01,440 --> 01:35:05,040
I don't know, Toby McGuire and Andrew Garfield.

2695
01:35:05,040 --> 01:35:09,000
Yeah, those are, yeah, that third movie is fucking amazing.

2696
01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:11,520
That's one of my favorite movies of all time.

2697
01:35:11,520 --> 01:35:16,360
But if we're talking about just like, I mean, on its own,

2698
01:35:16,360 --> 01:35:18,240
the Spider-Verse movies are just,

2699
01:35:18,240 --> 01:35:20,080
those two are perfect movies.

2700
01:35:20,080 --> 01:35:21,400
I can't wait for the third one, dude.

2701
01:35:21,400 --> 01:35:23,400
I know, the left one was such a cliffhanger moment.

2702
01:35:23,400 --> 01:35:25,680
To be continued, holy shit.

2703
01:35:25,680 --> 01:35:32,000
But, Madam Web, I have seen and I'm gonna disagree

2704
01:35:32,000 --> 01:35:33,880
that it's a good movie.

2705
01:35:33,880 --> 01:35:34,960
No, I didn't say it was good.

2706
01:35:34,960 --> 01:35:36,240
I said it's okay.

2707
01:35:36,240 --> 01:35:38,640
Does it continue or lead into?

2708
01:35:38,640 --> 01:35:40,080
What I said was it's good for daughters.

2709
01:35:40,080 --> 01:35:43,840
You said it's a good movie to watch with kids.

2710
01:35:43,840 --> 01:35:48,680
I am only saying, like, I thought that the acting was fine.

2711
01:35:48,680 --> 01:35:50,160
Everyone seems to have a problem with it.

2712
01:35:50,160 --> 01:35:53,680
The ADR thing it's called, where they do the voice,

2713
01:35:53,680 --> 01:35:56,640
or they record lines after they've already shot it,

2714
01:35:56,640 --> 01:35:59,600
was off and I didn't notice the first time I watched it,

2715
01:35:59,600 --> 01:36:01,440
but the second time I was like going through

2716
01:36:01,440 --> 01:36:03,400
to see the scenes that everyone was talking about

2717
01:36:03,400 --> 01:36:06,240
with bad ADR and it really, yeah, you could tell.

2718
01:36:06,240 --> 01:36:07,960
It's poorly edited.

2719
01:36:09,280 --> 01:36:10,680
The story seems rushed.

2720
01:36:10,680 --> 01:36:15,600
It seems like a little bit, I don't know.

2721
01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:18,680
It's a little, it's got a lot of that origin story.

2722
01:36:18,680 --> 01:36:21,000
Plus, don't watch the trailer

2723
01:36:21,000 --> 01:36:23,600
because the trailer literally has the final,

2724
01:36:23,600 --> 01:36:27,840
climatic fight scene in it, which I fucking, so stupid.

2725
01:36:27,840 --> 01:36:32,840
It shows, it shows how the main bad guy gets defeated

2726
01:36:33,120 --> 01:36:37,280
in the trailer and I'm like, what the fuck?

2727
01:36:37,280 --> 01:36:38,640
I watched the trailer, I'm like, okay,

2728
01:36:38,640 --> 01:36:40,600
so first you get that stupid line about my mother

2729
01:36:40,600 --> 01:36:43,760
working in the forest studying spiders or whatever,

2730
01:36:43,760 --> 01:36:44,840
and then it's just like, all right,

2731
01:36:44,840 --> 01:36:46,800
here's the rest of the movie in 30 seconds

2732
01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:48,640
plus the final shot.

2733
01:36:48,640 --> 01:36:50,040
So stupid, but anyway.

2734
01:36:50,040 --> 01:36:51,160
I know how they can wreck on that.

2735
01:36:51,160 --> 01:36:53,320
Venom shows up and just kills all three of them.

2736
01:36:53,320 --> 01:36:57,480
Yeah, takes, but I would take a Madame Web too.

2737
01:36:57,480 --> 01:36:58,320
I would too.

2738
01:36:58,320 --> 01:37:01,480
If it was them with their powers.

2739
01:37:01,480 --> 01:37:04,400
I don't like that there wasn't really any other,

2740
01:37:04,400 --> 01:37:06,280
I wanted them to, I wish there was,

2741
01:37:06,280 --> 01:37:08,400
that's what I said, it's too much origin story.

2742
01:37:08,400 --> 01:37:11,280
At the end, I wanted the movie to continue at the end

2743
01:37:11,280 --> 01:37:13,520
once the three girls got their powers.

2744
01:37:13,520 --> 01:37:14,520
It should have killed her.

2745
01:37:14,520 --> 01:37:16,160
Sydney Sweeney just got huge and they're like,

2746
01:37:16,160 --> 01:37:17,680
we need a new Spider-Man project.

2747
01:37:17,680 --> 01:37:18,800
Sydney Sweeney's huge.

2748
01:37:18,800 --> 01:37:21,160
Put her fucking tits in that shit.

2749
01:37:21,160 --> 01:37:22,480
I think they could have done a time jump.

2750
01:37:22,480 --> 01:37:24,320
Which they, by the way, did not do.

2751
01:37:25,440 --> 01:37:26,840
They hit them the whole time.

2752
01:37:27,960 --> 01:37:30,200
Yeah, I mean, there were supposed to be kids in that.

2753
01:37:30,200 --> 01:37:31,800
They're teenage girls, right?

2754
01:37:31,800 --> 01:37:34,920
15, so it's good that they were hiding the tits.

2755
01:37:34,920 --> 01:37:35,760
We can all agree.

2756
01:37:35,760 --> 01:37:37,400
I wasn't saying anything, I just said get her tits.

2757
01:37:37,400 --> 01:37:41,400
Austin, this is a, it's not a family show.

2758
01:37:41,400 --> 01:37:43,040
Would appreciate it if you could talk about

2759
01:37:43,040 --> 01:37:45,120
the fucking high school titties all the time.

2760
01:37:45,120 --> 01:37:45,960
Okay.

2761
01:37:46,840 --> 01:37:48,680
Every fucking episode with this guy.

2762
01:37:48,680 --> 01:37:50,760
I'm gonna pull a fucking gun to my head.

2763
01:37:50,760 --> 01:37:51,600
What about you?

2764
01:37:51,600 --> 01:37:53,720
What's your, oh, I don't have one.

2765
01:37:53,720 --> 01:37:54,720
I never have one.

2766
01:37:54,720 --> 01:37:56,800
I literally have too much time watching.

2767
01:37:56,800 --> 01:37:58,120
You know how many fucking things I had to watch

2768
01:37:58,120 --> 01:38:00,120
for this Saturday?

2769
01:38:00,120 --> 01:38:01,720
You know how many, I had to read a book.

2770
01:38:01,720 --> 01:38:02,920
I had to watch four movies.

2771
01:38:02,920 --> 01:38:04,280
I had to watch three TV shows

2772
01:38:04,280 --> 01:38:06,120
and that's on top of working full time

2773
01:38:06,120 --> 01:38:07,600
and editing all this shit.

2774
01:38:07,600 --> 01:38:09,360
So it's like, I mean, are you guys editing this?

2775
01:38:09,360 --> 01:38:10,200
No.

2776
01:38:10,200 --> 01:38:11,200
Are you guys doing all the other shows?

2777
01:38:11,200 --> 01:38:12,040
No.

2778
01:38:12,040 --> 01:38:14,200
And now you want me to come up with an extra thing

2779
01:38:14,200 --> 01:38:15,040
that I recommend?

2780
01:38:15,040 --> 01:38:16,120
How about sleep?

2781
01:38:17,000 --> 01:38:18,440
You wanna know what I was trying to record,

2782
01:38:18,440 --> 01:38:19,640
what I was, what I was.

2783
01:38:19,640 --> 01:38:20,480
That's your rec recommend.

2784
01:38:20,480 --> 01:38:22,280
That's my recommend was fucking sleep.

2785
01:38:23,400 --> 01:38:24,680
That's what I enjoyed this weekend

2786
01:38:24,680 --> 01:38:26,600
when I wasn't doing all this other shit.

2787
01:38:26,600 --> 01:38:30,160
So anyway, next week it's gonna be only God forgives

2788
01:38:30,160 --> 01:38:32,080
2013 Ryan Reynolds and this has been.

2789
01:38:32,080 --> 01:38:34,000
No, Ryan Gosling.

2790
01:38:34,000 --> 01:38:35,480
Ryan Gosling, sorry.

2791
01:38:36,840 --> 01:38:39,880
And this has been the Water Roll episode.

2792
01:38:39,880 --> 01:38:41,040
A little bit of Postman,

2793
01:38:41,040 --> 01:38:43,040
but we'll get the real Postman in the future.

2794
01:38:43,040 --> 01:38:45,440
Look out for our Glitch Parkadium live stream.

2795
01:38:45,440 --> 01:38:47,040
I've been your host, Andy Rice.

2796
01:38:47,040 --> 01:38:48,040
This has been a great time.

2797
01:38:48,040 --> 01:38:50,200
With me is always Austin.

2798
01:38:50,200 --> 01:38:54,640
He did the breaststroke three hours to be here.

2799
01:38:54,640 --> 01:38:58,960
And by that, I mean, he put Mike's titties on his ass.

2800
01:38:58,960 --> 01:38:59,800
Barrel.

2801
01:38:59,800 --> 01:39:01,120
Thomas is veg.

2802
01:39:01,120 --> 01:39:03,160
Thomas is not veggie.

2803
01:39:03,160 --> 01:39:08,160
And Michael with us as always of course is Michael.

2804
01:39:09,280 --> 01:39:12,520
He's as old as the dirt at the bottom of the ocean

2805
01:39:12,520 --> 01:39:14,840
is itself, Larsen.

2806
01:39:14,840 --> 01:39:15,920
Cellios, motherfucker.

2807
01:39:15,920 --> 01:39:17,520
I didn't even say you were gonna die.

2808
01:39:17,520 --> 01:39:18,360
You went old.

2809
01:39:18,360 --> 01:39:19,200
Nope, nope.

2810
01:39:19,200 --> 01:39:20,020
That doesn't count.

2811
01:39:20,020 --> 01:39:21,080
You gotta come up with new things.

2812
01:39:21,080 --> 01:39:22,680
Ladies and gentlemen, put in the comments

2813
01:39:22,680 --> 01:39:25,520
how lazy Michael's getting with his Cellios references

2814
01:39:25,520 --> 01:39:27,040
because I've thought outside the box

2815
01:39:27,040 --> 01:39:28,480
to make it so that he has to think

2816
01:39:28,480 --> 01:39:29,800
and he's not doing that.

2817
01:39:29,800 --> 01:39:31,600
So that's how we're gonna end it

2818
01:39:31,600 --> 01:39:33,000
with a burn against these two.

2819
01:39:33,000 --> 01:39:35,200
Him, Austin with his high school titties

2820
01:39:35,200 --> 01:39:38,560
and Mike not knowing to when to kill something.

2821
01:39:38,560 --> 01:39:39,840
Everybody have a wonderful night.

2822
01:39:39,840 --> 01:39:40,800
I've been your host, Andy Rice

2823
01:39:40,800 --> 01:39:42,280
and I haven't said anything controversial.

2824
01:39:42,280 --> 01:39:43,120
Bye.

2825
01:39:43,120 --> 01:39:48,120
And we'll see you next time.