Duh Duh Duh Duh
I am the Knight. I am vengeance. I am Andy Rice and this is Fried Rice Podcast.
With me as always are my my NARC Nemesis Austin. He took him three hours to get here because he's
calendar man. Farrell. Check me out on Mansers. We have Zacky. He's the Bane of my existence.
Get it Bane? Improv. Colleen. With us as always is the oldest member of our crew. He's my oldest
Nemesis. It's Michael the Joker because we can't kill him as much as I'd like to. Larsen. You ever
danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Totally worth it. And with us as always is Brennan.
Yeah I like that one. That's good. I thought you knew exactly what I was gonna do. That's perfect.
God somebody's really loud. I thought of it like three days ago. Yeah that's pretty good. I thought
of it right now. I literally put down Brennan. But I have to be careful that it's not my other
notes where I put down Brennan. It's very different. Just gotta have some lesser A's and N's in there.
Welcome everybody to another episode of Fried Rice Podcast. Let's get fried.
Today's exciting because we have Zack with us. It's a special, I mean he's here all the time,
but he's decided to talk this time which is fun. And this has been an exciting week because Brennan
got to try Indian food for the first time. Yeah well I want to hear about this. What I've been
excited about your review of Indian. This I will start the whole podcast is I want people to know
what your first impression of Indian food was. Yeah. What were the dishes? Yeah so my teenager I
went and I got a curry chicken and he got butter chicken. We both kind of like tried each other's
dishes but it was very good. The naan was delicious. The food was delicious. It was so good that the
next night like because I didn't have any leftovers I had to go and get I had to go and get more.
Because I was like yeah I want it for dinner two nights in a row. Nice. Are you gonna go back again?
In like a week or two I'll go back. Are you gonna get the chicken tikka masala? That's what my son
got the second night so I tried it and it was it was really good but I don't know that curry
chicken was delicious. I think next time I want to try uh lamb. Oh yeah I haven't tried lamb so. Did
you try their dessert? I didn't try the dessert. I just kind of got an entree aside a bunch of naan.
I filled up on the naan because that was so good and even the leftovers that I had warmed up really
well. I mean something about leftover curry it just all those flavors kind of marinate more and
it was just so much better the next day. Yeah did you throw it in a pot or did you microwave it?
So I threw the rice in the microwave with wet paper towel over it to kind of steam it a little bit
and then I threw the curry itself in a pot heated up on the stove and then the naan bread in in the
foil in the oven 350 for like 15 minutes and it's perfect. Now Brendan is our resident foodie here.
He's a uh he's a gourmet chef but he amateur he's an amateur chef yeah uh but he's very good he's
taught me a bunch of uh little tips and hacks and stuff like uh I honestly I didn't realize how bad
of a the lack of knowledge I had in the kitchen until he's like yeah you don't roast your own
garlic. I was like what do you mean roast my own garlic you taught me how to do that and so I was
like all right yeah this changes the game of my spaghetti and all my Italian dishes and then he
gave me the the um crack chicken which is just I mean it's phenomenal it's simple easy dinner yeah
uh for those listening at home it's a crockpot dish and you basically just put some chicken down
at the bottom of your crockpot you empty uh McCormick gravy pack over it um some banana
peppers or pepperchinis I think and then um au jus pack au jus pack and then wait was it a gravy
pack was that one of them both the gravy pack and an au jus pack uh banana peppers or pepperchinis
uh and then butter a little bit of water so it's a Mississippi roast but with chicken but with
chicken exactly yeah it's it's and then you just let it and then um once it's ready you shred it
eat it over rice mashed potatoes yeah put it on a sandwich like taco shells make empanadas with it
like whatever you want you guys are making me so goddamn hungry I've been like severely like
trying to eat clean I get I get whole wheat bread I put Kroger canned chicken on it
with some hummus or veg if you will a little bit of hot sauce and I just eat two of those a day and
that's that's how I've been going this past week oh that's great but here anything else is like
that's I couldn't do it when's uh when's cooking with fried rice gonna come out yeah no we might
do we might actually do one of those I was actually thinking about the other day we would just have
like a uh the cookout with the with the boys or something you know all these different shows it's
just the fried rice network now yeah look listen that's hopefully by the time this airs we'll at
least have the first episode of um fried rice podcast rehash smallville uh that should be maybe
or or maybe it'll be next week but keep an eye out for that and you also got to keep an eye out for
rehash for game of thrones and six feet under um so you like the name rehash Zach it's pretty cool
like we're rehashing a show but it's also hash because of weed I was thinking it would be
really reclaim is that what well I thought of that so we thought of reclaim as well but reclaim
we're actually going to use for um if we ever decide to re-review a movie give it a look at a
movie from a second uh like terrifier might be might be a movie that we re-examine really
because it's been a while a lot if you look in the comments a lot of people are saying that um
that we were a little too uh harsh for terrifier you guys were I love that movie yeah no trust me
you're you're the the you're the guy that you're the I thought we were doing terrifier two no we
might do ter well terrifier two we're gonna do every terrifier movie if they keep making them
yeah we are gonna do the terrifiers so I'm so excited for three and if we do a live show we
could do a terrifier marathon I'm down for that we did the whole goal of this podcast was just
to make mike watch terrifiers as many times as possible it might actually give him another heart
attack yeah uh so now that our uh now that we got the Indian food review out of the way which was
very important uh let's get into what are we smoking oh wait I got some I got some news
my friend Jeremy Arnold uh plays in the UAPs runs the open mic that I go to frequently in
habasue uh his one of his relatives writes uh for Todd McFarland productions and he did the comic the
art for the comic uh spawn kills every spawn oh that's and he put Jeremy in the comic like as a
character in the background that he's like actually in there like he posted a picture I thought oh he
just posted someone in the comic that looks like him no he's that's actually him that's really cool
it's sick as fuck also um I signed up I've been signing up for the stir crazy comedy club open mic
and I finally got accepted and I performed there on Wednesday and it was fucking awesome like eating
out of the palm of my hand like it felt like every all the comedy I've been doing the past four years
with mojave comedy was like weighted down because we're always playing in like shitty little bars
or just places where people weren't expecting to hear comedy they just happened to be there
all these people specifically drove there paid five dollars sat down and wanted to hear jokes
and I was all nervous when I got there as soon as I got up there eating out of my fucking hands
and I was only up there for like two and a half minutes it's amazing the difference of people
wanting to hear comedy and people oh yes are there they're listening to every fucking word like parts
that I normally don't get laughs on I get laughs on it's like things I just used to spice up the
story to keep people listening got fucking murdered I was I was at the bank yesterday uh I
congratulations by the way that's dope and if there wasn't on Tuesday nights I would fucking go
oh this open mic's on Wednesdays but the one the one in Havasu is on Tuesday that's what I'm saying
if it wasn't on a weekday that I worked nights I would totally try I would I would I would have
sent my application in as well and like I want you we need to get you to do an open mic as Ted Cruz
you just need I want that's that's all I want for my birthday is for you to do comedy in a suit
and in a Ted Cruz it's basically politics yeah it's it's basically Texas where the bodies Ted
where the bodies where the bodies I am not the zodiac killer wait you could do that in Miracle
Mile but I don't I don't have the accent down I gotta get it what they taught me how it's
it's do my mic impression he's republican so it might not go over well we're gonna give Andy
associate of identity disorder how much of me is Andy Rice and how much is Ted Cruz how much is
Randy it's just like hey it's uh what's going on over here well uh it's basically nothing I mean
Adam Ray doesn't look anything like Dr. Phil and look at fucking how he just dresses up like him
and now he's like super famous I just want Andy in a suit doing Randy Ice the whole time he doesn't
go out of character he just goes in a suit Randy Ice has a ventriloquist pair hey hey tell me tell
me Ted why'd you why'd you go to Cancun when everyone seems like there was a there was a
blizzard uh your people sure could have used you Ted a blizzard well uh actually this is fucking
brilliant yes it really is Anthony's been telling me for months now I can't bring Randy anymore but
he didn't say Ted Cruz couldn't bring Randy so that totally works and don't even tell him until
you don't tell him you should make a skit of you doing that fighting yourself to come out of Ted
Cruz and like oh like took it over your brain like uh like that one movie like I like yeah interview
yourself wait like oh okay so like either an interview or no it's the scene from Lord of the
Rings where it's Gollum talking to Smeagol yeah yeah or like the movie Vacancy oh Jesus Christ
that's they're all three in your head battling it out for who takes over the body wait oh wait hold
on John Q Zach yeah isn't there more than three isn't there like there's like eight but like yeah
is that called Vacancy that's Vacancy yeah dude that have you guys seen Vacancy um I mean well
shit you kind of ruined ruined a few things there Zach sorry that's a real uh he could see dead
people the whole time as you're describing a movie it's a pretty old movie I think yeah if you're
done if you haven't seen it like you're there super young and you don't care you know Andy
it can be a 50 year old movie it doesn't matter no spoilers I haven't got around to it yet
because I reviewed Nosferatu the 1922 silent film with with like title cards but I if someone had
shown me a trailer first I would have been pretty pissed if I if I had known the movie yeah the
trailer the whole trailer is probably the movie I did have to I had to watch it at seven times speed
like because it's so fucking slow all those movies are so dude it was terrible but they're kind of
they're kind of good in like a niche well this was this was the grandfather of horror this like
pioneered it and you know what's crazy about well we aren't talked about but Zach doesn't know this
but what's crazy about or maybe but Nosferatu was a unlicensed adaptation of Dracula so Bram
Stoker's family sued them and they had to burn destroy all the copies but then people found it
and brought it back so it's like technically it's a banned movie we should never have seen
and which makes it even cooler I think this is all spoilers for the future oh yeah
yeah I forgot this week good job Andy with your spoilers in a few months yeah we're gonna have an
episode about uh the spoilers well I police over here fucking spoiled the whole movie
I picked Nosferatu I'm sorry guys if you're excited for the Halloween special you know
nothing about yet uh but yeah I will say my favorite you know why I picked Nosferatu by the
way just it was because last action hero do you remember Nosferatu coming out of the the screen
so I've always like I need to rewatch that and see if they did the 22 Nosferatu or if they did
a later like 70s or 80s version of it because I know there were other adaptations where they made
the vampire look similar this isn't the Nosferatu episode although we are talking about Batman
so vampires do kind of in the realm of this is the worst tangent I've been on is what I'm saying
10 minutes into a tangent new record
yeah what are we smoking yeah what'd you bring Renan?
I brought RS-11 it is a feels like an indica got it from THC it's uh 31% THC it's pretty good
I have a of course baby jeeters will probably do the um sativa because
I ain't trying to fuck everybody up did I get a sativa?
yeah I did sugarplum there we go sativa baby we'll smoke one of those in a bit I just packed a bowl of
Jarz good georgia pop oh you brought one too yeah I brought uh Jarz Kingman or Jarz El Mirage I'm
not sure I bought an El Mirage I don't know why it says Kingman on it but this is uh Apple
Fritter and uh it's 21% nothing crazy but you know Apple Fritter Georgia Pie Sugar Plum that's a real
sweet uh sweet crop what was your called again RS-11 okay that didn't fit the theme could have been
a little bit more considerate when you bought your weed knowing what was gonna happen a week
from now you son of a bitch but all right uh cool so the what are we smoking oh I should write that
down because we should have uh new music so by the way what happened to Beboop oh no no that's
that's what we recommend um so thanks to the band the and thanks to uh the band the Talking Bombs
for that music you just heard hopefully if I edited it but uh yeah that's a local band out here they're
fucking awesome I just saw them at a wedding recently and they kicked a lot of ass they were
a lot of really fun songs um the kind of like if you saw them live you'd get hyped the whole time
because some of their songs are just like the frenetic energy you know you might not know the
lyrics but you'll still kind of sing along you know like you'll just you'll be yelling with it
they're like cool it's a cool band so thank you guys so much for sending us that that uh little
snippet of one of your songs uh works perfect for our what are you smoking section sounded great
what genre are they it's rock now like like are you putting it before we talk about what we're
here what we brought or after hmm if your edit was after or both at least if I'm born after yeah
there you go that'll work yeah before then we'll go before and after that's perfect if I can and
then another one right here just for good measure that's there we go that'll that'll break it up
enough um all right awesome so so nice we heard it twice yeah so let's get into it uh this move
this week's movie man it's a classic we have really been breaking our own rules by not picking
shitty movies we we've been stepping up we've been picking some good ones king of the avenue
um I picked the greatest movie of all time king of the avenue I remember that's I mean if you
haven't go see if you haven't seen king of the avenue go to the theater yeah stop looking at
theater yeah stop listening to this right now go to tubi look up king of the avenue and you're
welcome uh uh anyway and I would like to apologize yeah we're talking about 1989 batman and it is uh
I mean this is the classic this is tim burton this is batman this is michael keaton this is
jack nicholson this is who plays vicki vale michelle pfeiffer michelle pfeiffer wait no
she's uh in the second one she's cat woman who plays uh who's vicki vale
she doesn't because she's kim bassinger kim bassinger you know what's crazy about
the way time works is at one point specifically 1989 I guess michael keaton and uh kim bassinger
were like the hottest people but you look at him even in this he like he looks like he's 45 uh the
whole time I know he's not he's probably like 30 something when he played this uh there's nobody
looks good in this movie and kim bassinger man like she like she's not like she's hot but she's not
anything super special I guess like no offense kim if you're listening I'm so sorry but uh is it
just like I don't know it's just weird I think further back in time you go the less attractive
the hottest people are I think we get hotter with time I think if you look at or we just have more
information and there's more pictures of people and the whole time there have been really hot
people there's also more filters well filter sure but I'm not I'm talking get rid of the filter I
and their makeup sure also people looked rough back then I mean they had rougher times well they
all smoked back then they all drank a lot and people are way healthier conscious now the actors
actors is they're way more that in plastic surgery help whatever technology was invented when paul
rudd was born I guess wasn't available for the rest of hollywood at this time some people are
just born with it I think he's one of them maybe it's mabel yeah maybe well look at ron reynolds
look at ron reynolds looks the same now as he did 30 years ago I have no idea how that's possible
he may be a vampire I think you know what it is I think it's just working out constantly you know
being healthy being super rich and not having to worry about finances or married to blake lively
yeah I think a lot of these that would do it a lot of these things yeah so um all right let's get
into it I mean uh it's batman it's 1989 I always love a movie when the opening credits show exactly
what the movie is going to be and this is just uh three minutes of the batman logo from every angle
you could possibly conceive it from and then you just get the batman logo so it's perfect
if the opening credits batman's hard and I love it um this is back when pc could do movies
yeah and what I liked about the beginning of it was that it was not an origin story from the beginning
yeah it's just uh thrown in this is a comic book so you get the read through there's no origin
he's batman there's no oh how it starts off with him going right up to a criminal right at the
beginning yeah he doesn't he's not even he's just starts as batman well it starts with the fake out
it starts with a fake out starts with the uh mother and father and a young boy leaving the
theater but the moment now if you're if you're even just a casual batman fan you'll know that's
not them from when she says henry at the name of the guy but then you'll even know it's not them
when he lets his taxi get taken by somebody else because fucking uh thomas wang would not
and he would be like no or he would allow them because it wouldn't be like uh he's a schmuck
and got it taken it would either be he's so generous that he would be like no please you guys
can have it what's fine we'll walk we need the exercise anyway yeah but thomas wane wouldn't
have a wouldn't take a taxi he would have his own driver and everything exactly yeah that's another
thing too well although they do i like this this also when we actually do see the batman
backstory part where they're leaving the theater i like that this doesn't make it bruce's fault
like they just left the theater and went home in a lot of other iterations of batman it's always
he doesn't like the movie because the bats scare him or whatever the fuck and he wants to leave
or it's an opera and he wants to leave or whatever right uh and it's like this it's scary i don't
like it and then they leave and they go out the back exit and they're in an alley and then that's
when shit goes down so i i i don't necessarily like when they make it his fault like i get that
that would add to being batman in fact that could be the deciding factor of a batman versus not a
batman so i feel like leaving actually this might be the most unrealistic batman because in this
situation it's just batman and his bruce wayne and his family left the theater normally a
walker a hooker she goes oh a family of three i better go try to fuck that i better try to she
propositions the kid doesn't she doesn't she like say hey big boy and then like well in gotham
yeah wedding god wait did this just happen i just saw the hooker just hits on a family of three
i mean it also is the richest family so i mean uh let's see let's take a shot yeah so you're telling
me that the other batman is because batman's a pussy and like oh this is scary and so his parents
die and so his real model is don't be a pussy sort of no what i guess what i'm saying is the other
batman the batman where it's his fault have more of a reason to be batman for those reasons yes
he let fear get his parents killed he caused his parents to die he couldn't protect them it's his
fault they went to the alley everything's on his shoulders his parents die you mix that with the
grief with the anger and the rage and you give them unlimited power and you give them unlimited
money and razak gul training him yeah you get a batman and i believe it but this won't be a pussy
noble i won't be a pussy i won't let innocent families die i am justice like i mean you get it
i'm pumped right now i want to start working you know i'm staring at the mirror in the morning
when you put on the crap dude every time i imagine batman with his shirt off standing in front of the
mirror which is often i get that i get that alex ross picture in my head where it's all the scars
on his back and he just looks jack because you know he's probably a constant pain he doesn't
show it but the version in this movie where he they walk out of the theater all scott free they
walked out an alley and then just random violence happens in his family guys actually you know okay
so now that i've said this that makes for an unrealistic batman i think it actually makes for
a perfect batman in this universe because this batman is kind of not a badass like not as dark
he's not that cool like i mean he's cool like don't get me wrong but he yeah he doesn't fuck
people up so for him he's just trying to stop violence because violence took his parents out
he's not beating himself up therefore needing to beat the shit out of villains like that's the
other batman it's like oh great i don't have to hold back bane and then like you know whatever
he just go fights hard as he wants even though bane fucks him up but that's also because bane
had an even worse upbringing so it makes him even better if you want to be a superhero you got to
have a bad upbringing tony stark he hacked the system by getting a bad origin story later on in
life superman superman he's the north you can't go there with superman well no superman lost his
entire planet mike that's worse no that's the worst thing that could ever happen think about it
no one on earth has ever experienced anything like that yeah but it made him lighter not darker
not darker that's well then no mom mom pocket made lighter uh good old you know farm equipment
because if you do this daily and day out yeah because if you read uh the else world's red son
and he lands in soviet russia in the 40s instead of uh instead of bunch different batman yeah they
send him directly to fucking um what's his face the well no they sent him to the russian oligarch
and he turns him into uberman or whatever and super inch runs the fucking world uh which makes
lex luther the most it doesn't he rules the world just grab people around what's that from uberman
maybe it wasn't uberman that he said i see a u on his chest but i might be thinking of like
ultra man and that might be our underdog superman from uh the dark universe but doesn't
oh what'd you say underdog underdog wait backwards r man he just has a backwards r on his chest
underdogs uh no i remember underdog same time as um who's the the uh or who's that the detective
the blue dog he was a cowboy are you talking about deputy dog how does he sound and barbara
hey there davy or something like that that's pretty close yeah all right uh no no no i'm
thinking of the dog from uh hey there davy from the davy uh davin goliath claymation yeah you're
thinking of that all right everybody someone turn my adhd down someone help what is going on are we
talking about batman anymore one of my first notes is harvey dent is black he is also lando
calrissian those are just facts and they're very funny uh i did think that the the muggers
slash junkies were very menacing and totally like real villain types like they were not redeemable
um like the two the two thugs that robbed the the family right we'll find out later they're very much
but what do you mean one of them is the joker so no no no i'm talking about the very beginning
the two the one where he introduces himself as batman okay yeah on the roof like those two muggers
are medicine and when he uh just just as he kicks one of their asses and he turns the other one's
like i bet tell your friends your friends i like that that was a great line tell your friends
give him a business card if they don't believe you also i know that i'm a bit of just a rumor
right now but uh if you could tell them i'm real i'm half man half bat i'm super strong uh i am the
knight um i'm vengeance also i have justice tell them i don't need to turn my head i can just turn
my whole body yeah uh i'm i'm a body move guy and uh the taylor fucked this up when he made it
my neck doesn't move i know you know that was the that was both that and the fact that he couldn't
hear if he didn't turn he couldn't hear anything in that suit it was really fucked up i mean
mike taylor really fucked up on this suit who's mike taylor christian bale one uh they uh
i think they made a nod to it like uh morgan freeman's like uh we we changed the suit for
you so now you can turn your head that's a good morgan freeman uh for a white guy i'm morgan
freeman and you're watching fried red talk can we use that absolutely i am not ai well now you
sound like ai that's exactly what ai would say i should write an ai program to just all it is is
a ai that tries to convince people it's not an ai it's just it's all in programming i want you to
be the most realistic thing where you trick people you're not an ai and then see what happens it's
response to everything when asked are you an ai it's like no no it's just like a picture of it
being all coy in the corner like the only way to make that dragging its its toe in the dirt
it has to convince people that it's not ai and also to send it money
send me five bucks i'll prove i'm not ai this is also the first batman voice oh this is you're
right because previous to this was uh adam witt's 66 batman mike's batman where's uh the dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun of batman
i mean i've seen a few episodes i'm not gonna watch it all i'm not gonna ever it's not on my
list of things to watch i do appreciate the history of 66 batman i like that they've brought back
specifically batman 66 in the comics so they've continued the the legacy on in a much more
palatable format for me. I would say watch the movie. The movie is a good kind
of just gives you kind of the idea of the entirety of 66 Batman. It's on my
list of things I would watch is the movie. It's great. Is that shark
repellent? Is that in the movie? Yes. Okay. Yes. It's better when you're a child.
You know I've watched like episodes recently within the last few years and I
remember liking it way more when I was a kid watching it on 6K.
Oh. Fuck yeah. It's made for, yeah it was made for the time for one thing and children
folks. It's very lighthearted. I feel like this 1989 Batman they didn't they didn't
know whether they wanted to be like the older silly goofy Batman or like a new
gritty darker one so it was like kind of both maybe a little more dark and gritty
there's just like a lot of like goofy stuff in this. It's almost right in the
middle. Yeah it's right in the middle. They did their own thing too like Batman
has a fucking body count in this. When he blows that factory up later? Yeah he just
bombs a factory. He's like here's my machine guns his way through a fucking
doorway. If anyone was standing on the other side like a maintenance worker
or whatever just gone. Machine guns his way through. You think he's those little
balls coming out are gonna be like some sort of electrode like you know maybe
shock everybody so he doesn't have a kill count. They're bombs and then he
fucks off as the entire factory blows up. Imagine shareholders in that company.
Considering the the graphics at the time like that actually looked pretty cool.
Yeah I mean it did look like a little bit bad green screeny you get some of
that. What if the factory was a part of Wayne Industries and Bruce Wayne just
pulled a bunch of shares and he wants to fuck over everyone. Interesting or it's Wayne Industries and he's also
insurance. He's also a cutthroat business man. He's like these guys here. Is that you? Is that yours? He's just in there
annexing low-income housing just tearing down people's houses. Yeah he's just
like I'm gonna insurance claim this all. I gotta make more people to fight
because I'm Batman. He's like criminals are running out. I gotta destroy a whole complex.
There's a there's a comic where at the end of it Batman retires to his room
and Alfred he Alfred comes down he's in his like in his suit he he's sitting
down at a mirror and he just talked to himself he's like I wish he would stop
doing this to himself or whatever as he's applying makeup to himself and by
the end of all the panel shots he's Joker and he puts on the laugh and he
goes out to cause crime to give Batman something to do. And so if you really think
about it though if I mean that was one of the biggest like if I know that Jack
Napier is the Joker from a lot of source points there are some some jokers that I
think aren't Jack Napier and like obviously there's the there's the else worlds
or the the Flashpoint universe where Martha Wayne is Joker because Thomas
Wayne and her the only one that gets killed in the alley is Bruce and so
Thomas Wayne becomes old man Batman and Martha Wayne loses her fucking mind and
becomes Joker. That's just good foreplay. Yeah when we've been married for a long time.
There is sort of a there is so. Mike's laughing so hard right now.
He basically become Batman and Joker in every man and every marriage. Who's the Batman who's the Joker?
But yeah so Jack Napier as as Joker's classic I like it but Alfred as Joker
is my favorite version of Joker because the idea that Alfred is doing it now we
wouldn't get this Alfred obviously we wouldn't get the oldest Alfred that's
ever existed. This is the worst this is the worst Alfred ever. Are you kidding this is the Alfred we get for the next
four Batman movies? I don't care like these Alfred's suck dude. Have you watched
Gotham? That Alfred fucking kicks ass. Actually I haven't seen that. That Alfred fucks. That's a I haven't seen it either but that
that's a really young Alfred. Is that the same Alfred from the Pennyworth show? Is that a
spin-off? I don't know. Was that? I've never seen Gotham. Did I make up Pennyworth? Is that not a
that's a real show right? It's been a while since I watched it. I haven't even finished it. That is a show correct? Yes that is a show.
I've never seen it. I need that to be proven but yeah I think Pennyworth is is Alfred
Pennyworth like previously before he met the Waynes or whatever or when he meets
Thomas. It's like a prequel. I'm talking strictly movies this is the worst Alfred. I disagree.
There's a worst movie Alfred. I'm trying to think. Not comic books not TV shows. I think they did what they were going for was used to make him the
replacement father. So they kind of that's what they were going for and I think they did that. But who's the worst Alfred? Who's the Alfred in?
Okay I was like there's a 1940 Batman. There might be an Alfred in there. It can't Michael Cain's Batman is really good.
I like but I like this this I like this Alfred but okay you might be right he's my because no I know Andy Circus's Alfred was a little bit lackluster.
The newest the Batman. The newest the Batman. That one was just I love that movie. That was basically just the Batman the Alfred from Gotham except he doesn't do anything cool.
That's what I'm saying he's the he's the most lackluster one because he didn't do anything. So if you want the worst Alfred it's him because it's definitely not the Alfred that's been the Alfred from 89 to 98.
Like he's he's literally Michael Keaton's Alfred. He's Val Kilmer's Alfred and he's George Clooney's Alfred. And if you picture Alfred in your mind he's who you picture automatically.
Yeah I was like they even did some like complicated adaptations. Also probably worst Commissioner Gordon in this movie too. We don't have a Commissioner Gordon do we? Oh we do. That's right.
I didn't he's fat and old. Yeah I like him. This this Commissioner Gordon was very similar to the 66 Commissioner Gordon fat and old kind of not really badass at all just kind of just there.
You know the the dirty cop that's like talking like this the whole time and it's just acting really hard to talk low and grasp me. Oh I bet this is the dirty cop.
Yeah at first I thought oh is this Commissioner Gordon he sucks he's fat and old and then I see the real one oh he sucks he's fat and old.
This was yeah so this must have been before they got a grip on that they want Gordon to be the police Batman like you know like and have him and Batman be like buddies.
But it doesn't fit the story. This one fits the storyline better for Batman because if Commissioner Gordon was all that in real life I mean if you just make it realistic and Commissioner Gordon was all that you know
you don't fucking need that. Well no. So you don't want a super strong great Commissioner Gordon or you don't need Batman.
No no but you can look at Batman Begins and the Dark Knight trilogy that is an origin story of Batman with a strong Commissioner Gordon.
But the thing is is they work good as a pair because Batman's allowed to have allies and he's allowed to have people so like.
I felt like Commissioner Gordon was like I have to stay within the rule of Batman do my dirty work. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
That's kind of he could be that's kind of carried through from 66 but at the same time he also says do my dirty work but can't go too far even though Batman normally wouldn't but sometimes his rage gets the best one.
So he's both like you're my you're like my secret weapon that I have no control over but I'm trying to play in the middle and he protects him.
But then later on they become like in the comics and the shows all this stuff they're they're like friends they're like dinner that big ass table together.
Yeah like Gordon might even know who Batman is. I think that at some point. First of all everyone should know about this but whatever.
That's just part of the lore. I don't know how in every one of these movies nobody figures out who Batman is.
I agree with you that people should know that if there's someone with that much money you should start looking at people who are rich.
My argument is fucking Superman just wears black. It's like same same issue.
Same issue. I will say it's a common it's actually common throughout D.C.
If you lucky lucky Borelli had a good joke about this where he's like how do they not know that Bruce is Batman.
Maybe it's like Thomas and Martha Wayne's funeral like you know that that Wayne kid he's fucking he's being fucking weird just keep talking about bats and justice.
I think I think the butler's fucking him. Where's child protective services when you need them.
The line it's like hey Bruce we're sorry for your loss. It's OK. I'll get my revenge.
He starts he starts talking the Batman voice. I'll get justice. Thank you.
Oh you hit puberty so early. Hey Bruce we're sorry for your loss. That's fine. Tell them Batman's coming.
I am the night. I am justice. Are you writing this down. I am vengeance.
And the reporter in the beginning of this that's like trying to bother the crooked cop.
Oh nox. Come on. Nox. Nox. Weird like facial twitches. I love it.
I'm like that reporters on fucking drugs the whole movie. That casting is so perfect.
So this was more of a I mean I agree the casting is phenomenal especially Tracy Walters and Bob McGoon.
I think that the whole what I don't necessarily like about this movie is that the politics of the Gotham is the crux of the movie.
Like Joker wants to take over the town and make money and stuff like he's not the Joker that I like which is just chaos for chaos sake.
Right. Like that's the Joker. I like I like Joker walking in like getting all the money from the goons in Dark Knight and burning it to the fucking ground.
I guess he sort of does that by throwing out money which is going to lead to my biggest crux of the movie. OK.
I believe that Batman didn't all I'm willing to believe that Joker could survive a fall from that height into a bat and survive a chemical.
Of course I survived. Yeah. I'm willing to believe that Batman has a little jet that can fly perfectly and seamlessly throughout Gotham without any issues.
I'm willing to believe that his car even though Mythbusters prove that it's impossible to do that turn with the grappling hook.
I'm even willing to believe any of the bullshit that falls from the movies after.
But what I will not believe and I forgot what I was going to say because I was going too much out of the way.
You guys notice how this like no no no stop me. I got to finish this.
Fuck it's on my list.
What do you not believe Andy?
Damn it. No go back. What were we saying before?
Your list was so long we lost.
Shit. OK. Well you guys notice how this this movie is just like a mirror of the Christian Bale Joker movie like when he's flying the jet and the Joker's just like yeah come on.
And then it's same thing in the Christian Bale.
Wait stop. Wait wait. I got it. I got it. I got it. OK. Sorry. I know. Go back to that. But I need to get this out of my head.
I'm willing to believe all of that including Mr. Freeze Freeze Rage.
But what I'm not willing to believe for one moment is that Joker's goons you hand them 20 million dollars.
Give them a working helicopter a bunch of just brightly colored cars and expect them to come rescue you on a rooftop when you're having a fight with Batman.
Just for one moment you're a goon working in Gotham.
Here you are. You finally start working for Jack Napier the Joker.
He's weird. But now he hands you duffel bags full of money.
Now you've got 20 million dollars at your disposal.
He's also hands you a helicopter teaches you how to fly it.
And now he's like all right please just hang around.
And if I need you when I need to get me from the building if I was I would be so gone.
There's a minute. Wait wait wait. Stop. That's our difference. Stop. Fear. That is the difference of your opinion from every other time there's a goon in every other movie.
Every movie with the goons do their job properly. That's what you want. This time you want the goons not to do their job.
I agree with what you're saying. Normally I am for goons doing goon stuff.
That's what you're hired for. But on a realistic basis if I have goons I expect them to do a job to receive a paycheck.
Right. OK. Now if I had some insane plan where I wanted to drop 20 million dollars around the parade right there would be safeguards in place.
Not random helicopters available to my goons to run away. I wouldn't have like I wouldn't let them get away with it.
If I'm in a situation where I say goon I need you to kill this guy because he's not giving me any information.
I expect a bullet in the head three seconds later. The gun should just I hear a cocking noise and he's done.
Should already be cocked if you're a bot. If I need you in this situation or if it's you know like medieval times that axe comes down the moment I say kill him.
Not when some random bystander in the audience says wait slow motion. No. The axe is dropped. I'm like wait for what. I said kill him.
I'm in charge here. But I wouldn't just then give that goon a chest full of gold and a big coach and like tell him hey I need you to just you know be around in case I need you and then expect him to stay.
One good did the black guy the black guy. He fucked up that. Joker got his money's worth right there.
Well that was sure. Yeah he got thrown down a bell tower. I bet you any goon that stuck around that didn't have access to the money were promised money afterwards.
That's the only reason they stuck around. But I'm saying you give the goons 20. All I'm saying is I thought that was a huge plot hole that they should have addressed when they made this fucking movie.
I think it's retarded maybe they just complain the other way because they didn't do their job. Maybe they were just super loyal.
Super loyal and they feared him and they're like he's got something worse. I don't want to know. I did. OK listen to my to your to your credit.
I already thought of an argument to my point and it's and it's that the Joker says hey so you think you could just fly away with my money don't you.
You know that's a real good idea. Well guess what buddy. I got bombs on the helicopter and they blow up. I die. You don't believe me and then he just fucking blows up a goon.
He's like just for the hell of it right. Because I farted. What else do you think. You know I got it up my sleeve right. Like that's so I get it. OK sure.
But shut up. So I think Knox is great. I think he's a delightful character that we've never seen any Batman movie ever moving forward ever again.
I don't know why they dropped the Knox reporter guy character like there should be an iteration in other movies.
I mean maybe not the Tim Burton verse moving forward because they already he doesn't die. He could have came back for George Clooney's movie or whatever.
He could have been in the fucking Flash movie. They did all that multiverse stuff at the end. You know what I mean.
Like a cool parallel dynamic to like Peter Parker is Spider-Man and he gets pictures of Spider-Man.
He's just taking selfies and selling them. There could be a thing where it's like oh this one reporter has a rapport with that man and says you know he wants justice.
And then Knox gives Batman clues on things that he hears at the at the. I've not seen the other movies in so long.
Are you 100 percent sure he's not in any of the follow ups. I am 98 percent sure. OK. I'm not sure.
He goes to his boss and he's like look he gave me the business card. All right. Me and him are like this. Yeah. We're connected so well.
Well you watched Batman Returns right afterwards. Is he in it. I don't remember him being in it.
Yeah. Then he probably he would have been a main. They wouldn't have just stuck him in it. If it was it was just like a one off kind of situation.
But it does it does feel like they just run together. You walk back to back.
It's like Batman goes to sleep wake up and then the penguins fucking off now.
It's like yeah you know that's how it should be. Like that's that's how like I like these movies.
When they go right back back. Back to the future two and three is the best continuation.
I wanted to. I mean all three go together. You can watch Back to the Future one through three nonstop.
If you just cut out the credits it would be a perfect movie. Yeah. It would literally be.
It's a little long. Because think about the ending of Back to the Future one and it ends.
If you just cut out the credit part and cut immediately to them turning and Doc Brown is immediately coming back down.
She's changed actresses. Might be a little bit of a maybe a little bit of a maybe that's why.
But that would be like the one time everybody would be like whoa wait that's a different person.
Yeah. Otherwise you don't when you have that space you don't really notice it as much.
I'll tell you this. You know what they should do is take Crispin Glover and do and use his scenes.
Use the other actresses scenes and do an older Crispin Glover for a Back to the Future four and just multiverse the shit.
Because think about it Crispin Glover was Marty McFly. He is Marty McFly. Is he not.
Or was it. No no no I'm thinking of not no not Michael J Fox. Not not Crispin Glover.
The original. The other Eric Stoltz. I'm so sorry. OK. I meant to say that the whole time.
Don't roast me. But Eric Stoltz was Marty McFly. They filmed a lot of him being Marty McFly.
So what you could do is use Eric Stoltz now do as the main character in Back to the Future four.
He is the multiverse Marty McFly that we already have back. We already have flashback footage for.
Which is exact scenes from Back to the Future that were filmed the exact way they should have been filmed.
You throw an old Marty McFly. You can even do a young CGI version of him and Doc Brown or whatever.
Going back in time they could totally do Back to the Future. You could do Doc Brown now because he's still alive.
Yeah. You could get back to the future for. He's looking pretty rough right now though.
Sure. But it doesn't have to be a lot. Just one Great Scott and we move on to the CGI version.
Great Scott. You're going to have to do this by yourself. He just walks in like airplane style like Great Scott.
Well we already got that in a hundred ways to die in the West. Or is that what it's called?
Yeah. The one with Seth MacArthur. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Because he goes he hears a bunch of shit going off in a barn and he walks up and he opens it up and it's Doc Brown working on the DeLorean.
Covers it up. He goes Great Scott. And then that's it. So we already got that.
They could make an easy continuation on that cut to Back to the Future 1 and 2 by just saying like fuck with something.
Just multiverse. Just go full multiverse. Yeah. They could. They could even honestly.
They could even introduce a third. What they could do is talk about the Marty McFly that got lost back in time.
Because there's if you think about it Marty goes back to affect his parents. Right.
Hey we can we can save those for the Back to the Future. We could do a Back to the Future episode.
I was just about to say Batman leads to Back to the Future 4. Yeah.
Somehow some way. Michael Keaton's Batman. Every. Yeah. Michael Keaton's Batman.
Why don't we just make you know Batman go to the Back to the Future. Back to the Future.
Oh by the way I have to share this. I watched this with Dario last night.
And there's a moment where after Batman fucks Vicky Bale because this Batman fucks and I love it.
That's his special power. He fucks and kills. He fucks and kills.
He fucks Vicky Bale and then he goes to sleep on the upside down bar or he's working out or he's sleeping.
Whatever he's doing. And Dario turns to me thinking he's got the funniest joke in the fucking world.
He goes he's got a bat back. And I'm like what do you mean?
He's like like a bad back. But he's Batman. And I was like do you think in bed that this Batman goes I got I got a bat cock.
And he's like oh forgot. Batarang. Yeah.
Check out my Batarang. I think he's got a regular cock. But he wears the utility belt while he fucks.
And he's got a bunch of little butt plugs and stuff that he can just pull out at any time.
He's got one of them curved cocks. It's a Batarang.
All right. You guys are thinking I mean OK yeah. Now that you've said it he definitely has a Batarang cock.
So when Joker becomes Joker that whole fight scene in that factory or whatever the hallway shooting with the cops looks so fucking bad.
There's also bat wires. There's there's a wire. There's a whole like space truckers level fucking wire scene.
Oh I didn't notice. Oh that's that's that's funny. I mean you see the slight glare.
I'll say this the I guess I hate always saying it's a product of its time because like it is it's harder and harder and harder to enjoy classic media for me because the further and further we get from it the worse and worse it feels.
Oh yeah. Like that fight season this compared to the movie we just watched. Yeah. What Jackie Chan first strike. No it's not compared to Deadpool.
Oh yeah. It's not even just that. It's fucking when they're eating at that that big ass table and she's on one side.
Yeah. Those bowls were empty the entire time that that goes to a closing shot.
You just see the bowls are fucking empty. That scene made me laugh out loud like I looked up and I was like what the fuck are they doing.
Yeah. Like a 12 foot table like and she's like all the way over there.
Mike these guys do they even like each other. It seems like they don't.
They're just fucking over like that. He's Bruce Wayne and she's like I'm going to get me a baby and I'm going to get that money.
That was just a Tim Burton choice. I think it's he must have saw that on a sitcom from fucking 20 years before this movie was made or read it in a book or something like that.
It seems like a joke that they would have made in the 1800s where someone's just like how do you think the Queen and King hear each other when they're sitting on opposite sides of a big table.
Do you think they can hear each other. It's probably real funny like and they're eating and they're like hello.
I love you. And then she's like I can't hear you. What you know it's Monty Python ish.
Yeah. OK. That's why I did my Python voice I guess. But I that was my old English voice and I just for the first time and I feel like it's Monty Python.
That's all that was. All right. I've watched this with subtitles on and there's a whole part of the movie where I didn't take any notes and I just but I took one note for that entire section.
It's a maniacal laughter in brackets. Oh yeah. That's funny. How are they going to know he's laughing. They can't hear. It's maniacal.
Jack Palance is diet Clint Eastwood and you cannot convince me otherwise.
Every I thought he was Clint Eastwood until I realized he wasn't Clint Eastwood and then even then I wasn't sure. But Jack Palance definitely but I love Jack plants because if I'm if I'm not mistaken he's curly from city slickers.
Tangent alert. Yeah I know but have you guys ever seen city slickers. So city slickers opens with we're not going to do a whole breakdown but city slickers opens with what's his name Billy Crystal and his friends Daniel Stern running in the running of the bulls in
the capital of Spain and he gets scored by a bull and then he has to go get the surgery or whatever that when I saw that as a kid I was obsessed with the running of the bulls.
I was like what is that. That's a thing people do people run with anyone is this stupid and so he went yeah somebody is somebody is that stupid and then I made it a lifelong goal Michael thank you.
I'm going to be putting on my my little teary eyed story of childhood and it turns me into a guy that wanted to do that. And so I did. And so I went to Spain in like 20 2009 or whatever and I ran with the bulls and not horns but I got hit by a bull and it was pretty cool.
It was his ass and he hit me to a wall a little bit he did try to get me with his horse but I was already too fast.
Must have been a different Andy. What do you mean. What do you mean by that.
Do you think you can outrun 2009 Andy now. Well here's the thing. Zach what you might not know is I've been fat for quite some time.
So I actually, when I was also when I was running with the bulls I was also quite fat and when I looked around that's not the question.
I don't think I could. When I looked around though I saw everybody because there's like thousands of people that want to do this.
I look at me every single person I'm looking at.
Like I feel like they all just had six packs and they all just look like they ran marathons for a living.
Dario. Yeah all of them were Dario's and every single one of them looked scared.
And so I was like I'm going to die today.
I'm going to die today and one guy turns to me one super ripped native guy who's done this a million times he goes hey man.
So I asked him how it works and he goes it's a two mile road and they you get about 20 minutes to find your spot along the road for where you want to start running.
Some people start at the very bottom and they do the two miles uphill. It's a steep hill with these bulls.
This guy tells me he's like yeah but you don't want to do that.
You want to go I'd say go basically near the top.
It's like a 1.8 mile. Yeah 1.8 miles past something called Dead Man's Corner.
I'm like go past that. Which is and he's like oh that's the part where a lot of people you get stuck there the bulls tend to run into the corner and they start fucking losing their minds.
People get smashed. I'm like all right. So I went past Dead Man's Corner and I found where all these 60 to 80 year old men were.
And I stood with them and then they said wait for the first set of bulls to run by and run in between the two sets because you don't want to get trampled twice if you fuck up.
And so I ran so I let them so I hear I hear noise. We hear the gunshots go off. It's minutes right before they get up here.
But the adrenaline is just I'm like I'm dressed in the white and red outfits that you wear.
I've got the sash on and everything. I have my little rolled up newspaper because you have to you're you're not supposed to grab the bull.
So the bull is like on top of somebody doing them. You're not supposed to like you know the paper you hit him with the paper to distract like a dog.
Yeah. I like how two minutes after we're like all right we're on a back to the future tangent.
Less than two minutes later we went on a city slickers and then a trip to what are we smoking.
Yeah. But but but I'll say this if you grab the bull that if the bull doesn't fuck you up like you better hope the bull hurts you enough that the paramedics get you because the moment you get off that bull 15 20 Spaniards are on top of you kicking the living shit out of you because it's sacred.
Don't touch the bulls. It's like the number one rule is you're going to you respect the animal you're tiring them out for the bull fights later to eat stuff like I mean you're going to eat them.
It's a big it's a huge thing. These bulls are they're not just they're not just anything. They're just running the bulls. It's a it's a ceremony for them and it's also you go into an arena.
You go into an arena but I hear noise and I look down the little street and I see dead man's court right at the top of it and I see just people just screaming running. I see a bunch of people and then I see four mini Coopers with horns, driving up.
I mean that's the size of what these bulls. That's what it felt not actual mini Coopers and I'm like was I duped to this whole time and people just going to run me over it's Carmageddon in Spain. No, but I saw three I saw about four bulls the size of mini Coopers with
horns just running up street side by side. I had no room I had to squeeze against the wall and like hug it tight. They go by inches from right and then I read and your prize for getting to the end of the street is you run into an arena.
Once all the bulls have gone in they just start letting the bulls loose in the arena and they shut the door and I saw so many people get fucked up. I saw one guy not paying attention bull hooked him from beneath the lake flipped this guy went to flips in the air landed on his head paramedics
ran and got him. I saw for me, the way I got hit was, I'm like, I'm super excited probably a couple hundred people in the arena. I'm against the wall, and there's this really cute Asian chick, and she's gonna leaning against the wall and I'm at the most adrenaline handsomest I've ever felt.
I just ran up the blood and say what's up baby but I was like talking to her whatever. And as she's talking to me. I see her eyes widen. And I look behind me and the mass of people that I've been using as a shield had split, and there's a bull with his eyes locked on me running,
and I'm alone, and I'm like, and I run, and I just get to the side enough where his body smashes me against the wall and at that point I jumped over the wall and I got out of it. I didn't last the seven rounds of bullfighting I got about three or four in and then after you
jumped out of the ring you say, I'm Batman. I should have. I'm bullman. Anyways, Batman's fighting these guys in the alley, his parents got shot in. You know what Austin, that is some bullshit what you're doing right now.
Just trying to stop my nostalgia, but thank you. Do you know who they originally wanted as Batman for this movie? Val Kilmer? No. Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson would have been an awesome guy. And then who else?
We almost got Willem Dafoe as Joker. They wanted Robin Williams too. That was just a rumor to get Jack Nicholson. They offered him that and then yeah. Basically he didn't like they used him as bait and that's when he was like, nope, I'm not working with you guys anymore until you apologize publicly.
Same with that. They did the same thing to get Jim Carrey as a riddler. Robin Williams refused to work for Warner Brothers for like years after that. That's fucked up. Don't use him as bait.
I get someone else. Jack Nicholson doesn't want the biggest role of his fucking career. Don't give it to him. I hate when actors like that. I hate when companies are like, oh we really want this actor so we're going to do a bunch of bullshit to get him. Fuck you.
There's a million actors out there that will do as good or better of a job because they're passionate about the role. Sorry, that's just not true. There's nobody's going to do a better job than Jack Nicholson. Willem Dafoe was just mentioned.
I think Willem Dafoe, as we saw with Green Goblin, it's not his fault the Green Goblin costume looked weird and they went with a wacky route for the Spider-Man movies. I love those movies, don't get me wrong.
But they went with a wacky route. If you look at the newest Spider-Man with the Green Goblin and you see how he could have done for Green Goblin, you're like, holy shit, that's a powerful fucking character that they did not give due diligence to.
I think him as Joker, with the time and prep to be Joker, Willem fucking Dafoe would have crushed it. I think he would have been great. It would have been a different movie.
It would have been different, but I still could hear him right now going, my face on the one dollar bill. It wouldn't sound like Jack Nicholson, so I just did the voice, but he would make it his own.
I second that. This Joker, worth Joker in my opinion.
Yeah, I don't even. That is blasphemy. Right down there with Jared Leto Joker.
I forgot about Jared Leto Joker. Jared Leto is probably the worst Joker.
But this is probably third out of four. I enjoy Heath Ledger.
Heath Ledger is number one and this is number two. I also enjoy the last Joker.
Worst movie Joker. I feel like I have to keep specifying. Worst movie Joker.
Him and Jared Leto, right in the same fucking cesspool at the bottom.
I think Jared Leto is worse than Jack Nicholson's, but for me it's Heath Ledger's.
Who would you rather fight? Jack Nicholson Joker or Jared Leto Joker?
Well, I'd probably just throw some crack on the ground for Jared Leto's Joker and he would just ignore me. Good point.
I would fight. You don't have any crack. You don't know that. And you can't kill yourself.
Look, Jack Nicholson's Joker is the least threatening. He just comes around and just pops people.
Well, I mean he's fucking jacked. Would you fight Jared Leto? How about that?
Would you rather fight Jared Leto or Jack Nicholson? I'd be like, your band 30 Seconds of Mars sucks.
You're comparing character traits like when you say he's the least threatening.
That's the character he's supposed to be least threatening because he's trying to get the city on his side.
That's his job. Well, in this movie he's trying to get the city on his side. Not Heath Ledger's Joker.
No, no, no. This Joker. We're talking about he said he's not threatening.
I'm like he's he's not supposed to be threatening. He's trying to trick people. He's the trickster in this movie.
A little different. But here's the thing. If we're talking about who I'd rather fight.
Oh, as I say, he's more like political in this one. Yeah, which I this is. Yeah. The whole versus maniacal.
Yeah, which I'm not a huge fan of. But I will say this of all the jokers I'd rather fight.
It would be Jack Nicholson at the top. Joker. Why?
Because I'm pretty sure I could take a guy who gets his kicks listening to Prince and throwing paint on fucking painting at museums.
It's like, oh, how maniacal is your Joker? Well, he really trashed a museum and then he gave all the citizens of Gotham 20 million dollars.
He's a notorious vandal and a philanthropist. And he's a vandal.
The weapon on the side, he just does like martial arts. He's just one of them guys that goes into everything.
Millionaire philanthropist. He's like, by the way, I'm a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Andy.
And he's like, you're like, oh, okay. Jared Leto Joker. Unpredictable fucking murderous.
Yeah, even though he was a shitty joker, he floated a joker. Fucking psychotic murderous.
You don't fuck with these crazy anarchists. You wouldn't want to fight like the walking phoenix joker.
Like he seemed like a fucking. You know what? You're right.
He's probably the most he's probably the most maniacal. I forgot about watching.
Actually, I haven't seen Joker. You haven't seen it? No, but I found out Sam Merrill plays a part in it as a comedian.
And I have to go watch it just for that now. How about just for the fact that it's a really good movie?
That's what I that's what I'm hearing. I don't even. Where is it even screaming?
Everything. The sequel is coming out. It's on Max. If you really want to watch it.
It's been out for years. The sequel is coming out. I know. I just I never got around to it.
I've seen the Batman, the Robert Patton. Yeah. And so the new one.
I hear the thing. So, OK, that's that's my least favorite joker from the Batman.
Wait, was there if you if you look in that right, you know, get in solitary and that's not the Riddler's the enemy in that one.
But you get that if you go on YouTube and you watch the deleted scene with Batman talking to Joker from the Batman,
that doesn't there's a whole 10 minute like there's a whole. Yeah.
Yeah. Fully does it make it to the final movie? No, then it's not.
It's not really prime. Sure. It might not be canon. It's not prime Joker.
It's not even prime the Batman. And that's when he's just starting out.
But it doesn't matter if we're talking about Joker's portrayals in movies.
This is a fully filmed for the Batman thing that they just didn't put in for time or for whatever.
Maybe they didn't want to introduce the Joker for whatever reason.
But it's built and it has Robert Pattinson as Batman talking to him in prison.
And it's the same one from the movie. So it's it's just a deleted scene.
I think it's because in Flashpoint, they even brought Nicholas Cage Superman into it, but they didn't bring that Joker in.
Well, I think we didn't put it in.
They didn't make the Nicholas Cage Superman, but they threw that in there like plus.
They put they put Joker in that movie overshadowed Riddler by far, no matter how long it was.
Sure. But to your point, they the fact that he's in Flashpoint makes it canon.
So Nick Cage Superman exists is 100 percent canon to DC cinema. Yes.
But they don't they cover all the Batman's kind of film.
They cover 66 through the 80s, the 90s and all that.
So they didn't do Batman, though, because that had come out after.
And the Batman is I think an else world, isn't it?
What happened?
I came out before Flashpoint.
It is. What are we doing?
This is arguing about the continuity of the Joker that you keep shitting on that didn't even get a chance.
Yeah. OK. Well, I just that's my least favorite Joker.
And I think Jack Nicholson's Joker has bad motives. I think it's just it's political.
It's weird. He wants to space on the one dollar bill, which I think is a great line.
I don't like the Do You Dance with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight?
I don't like it as a line only because he says, I like to say that to all the people I fear before I kill them.
Don't explain the joke. If you're going to be the Joker, be good at your jokes.
Like if your joke is you want to say something super melodramatic right before shooting everybody.
I like that. That's funny because then it's like random.
It's like, why do you just say that? And then you die. It's funny.
Like, haha. But like, that's how I would kill people if I were to still kill people.
The only movie Joker that dies to. Maybe he also he's made out of fucking adamantium.
His whole body survived the sidewalk underneath them, which is funny.
It's just shitty concrete pours really. It's Gotham construction more than it is his body.
That's why he's like, maybe he is the best Joker. He has an adamantium skeleton.
It's made of the same sidewalk as from the Matrix simulation when Neo can't fly.
What do you think the moment you're loaded into a simulation?
I can fly. I'm just saying the moment you plug me into a video game and they're like,
you could play this video game any way you want. I'm like, cool.
And I fly out of there with my dick out and I'm fucking just spawning naked bitches flying from the.
Is that how you're flying with your dick? Yeah.
There's like a helicopter and you're just like sitting there and I go dick forward everywhere.
I think it's funny that every time we watch like a great movie, like well loved movie,
we talk about all sorts of different movies, but the movie we watch.
I was getting back to it because this is like there's good choreography in this.
In one part where he goes to the alleyway where his parents got shot,
which is also where he left a rose there where they died instead of their fucking grave.
That's where they really rest. He gives her the he has her grab the thing on his belt and like it zips her up.
And he's like, hang on. And she's like, ah, yes, sir.
He starts fighting the guys in the alleyway.
I thought wouldn't it be so funny if she couldn't hang on and didn't let go.
And while he's fighting, there's people she just falls.
I just thought it was funny that he's like, how much you weigh. Yeah.
Smart. Also, if it was if it was if this was made today, the how much do you weigh would get a look or a slap.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Like that.
I've seen that show then because like you never ask women their weight. How much do you weigh?
Excuse me, we don't have time. And then he just goes right over.
They could ask you how tall you are. Wow.
I hate those guys. How are you?
You sound hateful on that. Yeah. That's why I said that's not how I feel.
OK, because you're not a short. I'm not a short king.
I feel like I'm fairly short. No, no, no.
You sure you I went to everyone's looking at. I know.
I was like, no, no one's here. Oh, wow.
He's got a he's sitting down and quiet all the time.
It's until he stands up. Oh, boy. That's a big boy.
You're not that short. No, I'm taller than my wife.
So I really that's all that matters.
Well, it's my kids will be taller than me and I'm happy for that.
I dated a girl that was like a few inches short of being a midget or tall being a midget, I guess.
In that case, that's the dream.
See, I got I just went to a see their concert on Fremont.
See there. See there. Yes.
It was a click, click, boom.
No, that's that's saliva. See, there's a fine again remedy.
You would if you heard it. Yeah.
So it's a favorite band of mine from childhood.
Anyways, I went there and my wife hates crowds.
So we always are at the back.
Like she never lets me have fun and like sit up there and squished against people.
And I was I was I was towering over these people.
And I'm like, I'm not that tall, like I'm around six foot.
But I would say I am.
And I'm just I'm seeing like bald heads like like like maybe maybe the new generation is just going to get taller and taller.
Like they're all going to be giants eventually.
Yeah, I can't. I want to go to Japan just once and wear a Godzilla costume.
They're going to rise out of the water.
Just that'd be great.
They just shoot you.
They dig first. They slap you with the slap you with newspaper.
You can't respect Godzilla.
I can see that they all just run around little newspapers just smacking Godzilla's tail.
We've been waiting for this day.
That would be like in this movie where the Joker puts on a pair of glasses as you would hit a guy with glasses, would you?
He's basically slapstick, basically slapstick.
Thank you, Michael.
So I feel like this movie did a very good portray of like in between of like being serious, taking itself serious and having fun with the being a comic book.
I well, OK, but then it decides in the middle of the fucking movie and never do this again to give us the spinning newspaper fucking exposition dump.
Come on. That was the callback to the nineteen sixty six. I get that absolutely directly from the show for fucking sure this was just missing a pal.
Unnecessary. You don't need to give the old guys in the in the in the crowd a boner for it.
It's well, you know what?
Saying that if we're about to review Deadpool, I was going to say, yeah, what do you say?
So never mind, because a lot of what I'm going to say for that is I love inside jokes.
Just because you weren't there in 66.
But yeah, I mean, like if you were a child during the 70s and then you're an adult for this one, you would love that.
I mean, I'm probably it sounds like I like this movie a lot more than any of you simply because I grew up watching 66.
Batman, I was in the 70s is when I was watching.
That's why I like the campy version of Batman forever.
The eighteen hundreds comic books.
I don't think he has those came out in the twenty teams.
Yeah, we had to ruin a joke.
It's a joke and those are and those are Marvel. That's not it's Marvel. Eighteen hundred. That's not DC. We're talking about you talking about when when Iron Man, Dr.
Strange and Peter Parker go back to your like eighteen hundred versions of the self.
I got your joke. It's OK. Yeah, Mike got the joke.
Moving on. Well, you can't you should have picked a different if you didn't mean my Jesus.
You should have called it the sixteen hundred seventeen.
You can't pick eighteen hundred if there's a fucking that's like, oh, yeah, it's like he really lives in the else world.
We're talking about the DC elseworlds, even though we're having a conversation about some Mike's quote.
I grew up watching 66 Batman.
And then I said, yeah, and you also read the eighteen hundreds fucking comics.
You old bitch. Right now, if I looked up Google, the eighteen hundred comics, we're going to see a whole line of Marvel comics.
And so you got to be more specific. It was an old joke.
It was an old joke. It was an old joke. It was calling.
It also coincided with your ADHD brain of knowing every comic apparently talking about like cave drawings, you know, those kind of comics.
You know, yeah, there's something.
Yeah, cave drawings makes more sense.
Cave drawing. That makes more sense.
Ooga booga Batman.
It's just back then, though, it was a bat carrying a dude.
Ooga booga Batman.
Nineteen said, yeah, it would be 18.
He's looking it up right now.
Man, because you know what I just did right now?
Your ADHD is going to kill you right now.
I just realized that I closed it immediately.
It's 1602 Marvel.
I don't think it's eighteen hundred.
So now it's a 19th century Marvel.
Did it?
That would have been eighteen hundred.
Then there must be another.
They might have even gone back further.
They probably did.
You know, they're waiting for Ooga booga Batman.
Ooga booga Batman.
Actually, I did just there is a Ooga booga Batman.
I see.
See, he fucking knows it all.
Actually, I'm not kidding.
They recently last year and it's a it's phenomenal.
They don't cross over blood on first make a Flintstones crossover.
Flintstones crossovers.
Hannah Barbera.
Well, there is a Flintstones.
It's not a crossover with Batman, but there is an adult Flintstones coming.
Not adult like nudity or whatever, but it's a great.
That's Flintstones reboot comic, which is phenomenal.
They also just rebooted Dick Tracy, which is pretty good.
And it's kind of a gritty sort of way.
The Penguin just an actual penguin.
Now, it's it's some guy that they're like, they don't even call it the Penguin.
It's actually the pterodactyl.
Now, oh, but there is like I think it's I don't know.
It's called a primitive age.
Justice League or whatever, but it's cool.
It's like Batman's a caveman.
Wonder Woman's a you know, she's knocked out all the time.
Just drag around.
Oh, speaking of which, did you did you know that Bob Kane, who created Batman, was going to be in this movie?
But then he couldn't be in this movie because he was sick.
But they used his art when he hands that he drew that art, that comics specifically for this movie that he hands over that comic.
That signed comic that he hands over is like a sketch.
OK, that was Bob Kane drew that he actually threw that right before.
Here's my question. Who the fuck drew the Joker face on the goons embroidered jackets?
If you notice, Jones's goons have a straight up perfect comic book Joker face cartoon.
Did you guys not notice that? I didn't miss it.
If you look at their if you look at their leather jackets right on the goon's breast right here,
there is a like straight from the comics, perfect Joker face, not even like a bad one.
Like we're talking like the best 90s or 80s comic book Joker face that you can picture in your head right now, like by a top artist, like one of those.
So like that was well, they had uniforms. They were good goods.
They you know, they didn't run off with the money. They had uniforms.
They had uniforms. They had matching cars. They had like color coded.
They were taking care of what's that they were taking care of.
They were. You should have loved these goods. I love Joker's management of it.
Plus, actually, if you think about it, what did Joker do bad?
I mean, OK, besides the poison killing Batman's parents would be killing several hundred people.
OK, besides, I forgot about shooting people about all the killing.
I just focused on the museum trashing and I was like, that's not too bad.
But then I forgot the only way he was able to do that is by killing everyone in the museum.
I was wondering why there was no resistance. And I was like, oh, that's right, because it's just bodies on the ground.
But I would want a joker. See, here's the thing. This is what I want from Joker.
I would want him to go into that same museum after passing everybody out and then start taking the blood from the people on the ground or something, painting new paintings or like like using their bodies as as grotesque sculptures
or statues so that when Batman comes to fight him. Right.
You want the truly insane joker. I get that.
But here's the problem with the truly insane joker.
They can't be successful because they're truly insane.
So if you if you go halfway in between the insane like this joker's a little more real to Earth, you can't be a successful goon if you're that crazy.
He's not like shitting and pissing himself crazy. Just right. Well, the new the new jokers are kind of pissing and shitting themselves crazy.
Well, I like I like Joker from the Batman, the TV show, the cartoon, which is like I don't like the way he looks necessarily because it's like a Rastafarian hair.
Like he's got dreadlocks and he's his body looks weird. But what I like about him is he's completely unhinged. He is all he does because it's a cartoon.
He never gets caught. Right. Like I get that in a movie.
You got to be more realistic for what you're doing.
But if we're talking like you just go any jokers you want, he's a great one because all he does is just chaos.
He wakes up in the morning or whenever I bet he sleeps in or whatever he wants to do. He wakes up and he just fucks shit up.
He's like, all right, what should I do today? I've got some gas. Let me poison the water well.
And then the next day just goes and blows some shit up or just to fight bad things. I want to go fight Batman.
Someone's in the water. Well, yeah. Well, let's yeah.
There's a brand new Batman series on Prime that just came on like this week.
I haven't seen you. I watched the first half of the episode. So it's a 1940s Batman.
It's called a more Detective Comics Batman. Yes. Oh, it's a hundred percent Detective Comics Batman.
It is like a serialized Batman. So TV 14. It's all about like mobster goon stuff.
It's the animation. It's by Bruce Tim. So the animation is almost identical to the 90s Batman.
It's his costume looks almost like a direct rip from like the first maybe like I don't know that not the first issue of Batman,
but maybe like a hundred issues in Batman, like something where we're talking very early Batman, which is gray and black.
But the point your ears and it's a lot more detective work. No gadgets. Well, no electronics because it's 40.
So he uses like a board with markers to write to like make a grid, a map that he can like color code and stuff.
Pretty cool. I like it. Worth a shot worth of these watching. I got a fact that will make your brain happy.
Andy, you know, when the Joker requests the transportation for five and then he changes the 10 minutes,
the movie exactly runs 10 minutes when he gets to the helicopter. Really? Yeah. Like an exact 10 minutes.
They did it in real time. Yeah. They did a 24 on us. Yeah. Yes. You ever see that show?
No. The whole premise of that show, which was phenomenal, is 24 hours. Well, yeah.
Well, but each episode is one hour. 24 hours. It opens with like the timer.
And then as you watch the show, including commercial breaks and stuff. No, no, no.
But just as you watch the show, commercial breaks, when you come back from it, it's showing you the exact amount of time that's passed.
The show just takes place in real time. So it's literally completely real time.
Even the commercial breaks, it'll have a break where the commercial break is like in the in the action of the show.
It'll be a spot where you could pick it back up. Exactly. Not.
So the commercial break is accounted for time wise for the real time.
So when you watch it now streaming, the real time aspect of it doesn't work because they're only like 40 something minutes.
Really, which kind of takes away from it. Honestly, they should just put a black screen for the amount of time
commercials take if you really want the exact feeling of it. Just give the commercial cuts and fill those in.
They could do the cuts and fill those in. Oh, God.
If we got the 24 Snyder cut or something where someone was just like they filmed new scenes to put in that would have been happening.
That'd be Jack Bauer taking a shit. Yeah, that's kind of what it is.
That is kind of what it would be on the show.
That's kind of what they do. He'd go into the restroom and then go to commercial and then come it out.
He's going. Yeah, I've never seen a single frame of that show.
That's where it's like the timers for a bomb and he's Jack Bauer's got to go find the bomb.
Well, all different things. No, no, no. I mean, it's different things.
Yeah. So in the flow, like the first season, it's his wife and daughter get kidnapped and he's trying to find them.
So he has 24 hours to find them. So you think it's a whole it's it's 24 episodes.
So it's a whole season, but it's one day of shit.
So it's really high octane the whole time is like he's finding people and he's only got minutes
to interrogate them before he has to go do something else. Right.
He works for a counter counter terrorist unit and he goes.
So he has access to shit and his wife gets taken.
So it's not but then the second season is like they know that there's a dirty nuke somewhere in the city and they're trying to find it.
And like I think the third one is that there's like a virus, like a mega virus that someone wants to let off like a terrorist.
So it does go more. He's trying to stop terrorist stuff from going on.
But the first one is really personal because it's his family.
It's you get to know him and his wife and kid better because of it.
Anyway, 24 back to your tangent of like why didn't they take the 20 million dollars?
Yeah, well, I think that was just counterfeit.
Oh, you know, who's going to have 20 million dollars laying around?
Yeah, you know, if he was just like, I'm going to tell him it's real.
That's all counterfeit. There's a real joker move to do with me.
And his face would probably be on the bill.
There's a part that gets taken.
With the wrong context, there's part where Batman saves what's her face.
They go back to the Batcave and she's like, you get everything.
He's like, yeah, there's one more. There's one more thing I need.
And then he knocks her out. Yeah, that's the second date rape of the movie.
The first one is he gets her way too drunk where she's stumbling up the staircase.
And then he fucks her.
And then the second one is he definitely passes like he knocks her out.
And then, yeah, when you're putting a body in the trunk, sometimes you touch some boobs, right?
Like we've all it was the 80s.
The 80s towards the end, fucking Knox hits the trunk to open it.
He just punches it and it opens. Yeah.
Knox is awesome. There should be more knocks.
I want Knox in the Batman 2, which I wanted the Batman 2 so bad.
The Knox is like the pawns.
Yeah, that's a special power.
He hits the trunk and just opens. It's just any trunk.
The cops are surrounding it like that's like we have a we have a call in Knox.
Call in Knox. He comes up. Hey, he just hits it and pops open.
He's like, hey, every time there's two dead prostitutes in the back.
He's like, I'm Knox out, baby. That's why they call me Fort Knox.
And then nothing can keep me out or whatever. Like some bullshit.
He walks up. That's a special power. Anything he knocks that just opens up.
Anything he does. Oh, my God. He does it to his belt.
He's like, check this out, ladies. Right there the whole time.
Can you hear me Knox?
Knock, knocks, knocks it down. Heaven's door.
Oh, stairway to heaven. Fucking this bell tower.
Batman's worst enemy, stairs.
Oh, God. And he had the grappling hook and everything.
I thought, oh, he's got to go up the stairs because he crashed the jet.
Maybe his gadgets are all fucked up. Nope.
Use them right at the end of the movie. Worked perfectly fine.
He just chose to walk those stairs. He was saving.
You probably get one grappling hook.
He has to probably specifically load that shit.
I think that's a nod to the 66 Batman, because I thought there was like a scene
in either the movie or the show where it's like a stair and like it's either Robin
or Batman is going up a bunch of stairs. Oh, that's Adam West.
It's another gag. It's another long table.
It's a gag, too. And I know even the scene and it's not stairs.
It's the side of a building they're climbing.
And it's it's a it's a very famous scene from 66 Batman where they're going up.
And this is just it literally it seemed like improv like show part where they're
just like talking back and forth. Yeah.
I'm on the side of the building. It's so funny.
There's like, so how was the how was dinner the other day?
Why do you call me the boy wonder Batman?
Like, what are people wondering about your identity?
I don't know if this is a gag, but when Joker falls from the bell tower
to his death, it's like half half like live action, half like animation.
Like as you get smaller, it looks like animated like someone drew his falling.
Probably just bad 89 graphics. Yeah.
Same with the same with the black dude falling through the bell tower.
He's just like, oh, it just looks funny. It just looks silly.
They should have gotten the guy that did Die Hard.
Then the guy that did Groover's death, because that is how you film someone
falling off a building, bro.
You don't tell them what's happening and you surprise the shit out of them.
But imagine that guy, that guy and not the guy who did the RoboCop
or the guy falling out of his long arms.
His arms are like three feet long as he's falling and looks silly. Oh, shit.
I I don't like that Joker didn't laugh to his death.
He screamed. That's not what Joker would do.
That's what a fucking lame Joker death.
He should have been like, ha ha ha ha, like as he's falling or like,
fuck you, Batman. I have a bomb in my ass.
Yeah, which is weird because he wasn't afraid of Batman flying his fucking jet into him.
Yeah, I will. I love. OK, so now after rewatching this,
I definitely see from the Batman begins or sorry, from Dark Knight,
where Joker's standing down the motorcycle with his gun firing.
Right. He's like, come on, hit me, hit me, come on, hit me.
Right. Like like that.
And then and then last minute fucking Batman pulls away because he's a pussy in that one.
He won't kill. But not like this fucking Batman.
This Batman, he fucks and kills this other one.
Dark Knight. He just fucks. He just fucks. Sort of. No, I don't think.
No, Dark Knight. Batman's the most cucked Batman of all time.
The Batman. Doesn't he have a threesome with those chicks or does he just show up to the party with them?
I think he just shows up to the party with them. You know how he is.
Then he's like, hey, thanks, lady, for a great time. But Menagee Dates. That's all he did.
I think they're probably like very, very discreet like professionals.
I bet you the way Bruce Wayne works is like escorting them.
But like an actual escort where they don't expect sex, you know, afterwards.
I can't believe he didn't fuck us. We were like five grand each.
Yeah. He's like, but you know how billionaires are.
He's like, we're raising the prices next time.
He's probably just weird. He's probably got like, you know, like whatever.
But it was Christian Bale. So, you know, he probably would have took a chunk out of him or something.
Oh, yeah. If they walked in his line and it's like his line aside or whatever, he would have fucking ripped him a new asshole.
No, no, because American Psycho.
I was talking about the Terminator, that infamous blow up on set from Terminator Genesis or whatever.
Terminator. The one where he's John Connor in Terminator.
Oh, I didn't know about that. He had a best one. Yeah.
Oh, I mean, it's a good one. He had a he had a full like breakdown on set from some dude, some camera guy,
some just P.A. or whatever walked in front of his eyesight while he was doing a scene. And he I mean, it's recorded.
And you can find on YouTube. He fucking loses you.
You fucking donkey. That's Gordon Ramsay. But they do sound similar.
He's mad and he's like, he's like, I turn into Gordon Ramsay. I'm sorry, guys.
Fucking donut. Yeah. No, but he fucking loses it, dude.
He's like, you the fuck you think you are standing up to fucking professional, you know, like fucking lose it.
So, yeah, he would have done that to those women. He is Bruce Vane.
Bruce Vane. Yeah, that's a good line. Have you seen the movie that Christian Balesman as a kid?
I forget what it's called. News Newsies. No, something son.
Empire of the Sun. Empire of the Sun. Have you guys seen that? No, no, I've seen Newsies.
And I think that's his first role where he sings as a little newsboy, like a musical.
I didn't know about that son movie until my dad told me, like, yeah, that's Christian Bale.
Well, that's that bad. You know, Christian Bale is one of those actors that a lot like.
Who's the god, the most famous actor, wins all the awards.
Day Lewis, Daniel Day Lewis, how he fully method acts and stuff.
Christian Bale goes one step further. He puts his life in danger.
He did a movie called The Machinist, which is holy God.
The Machinist is a dark fucking movie, bro. The Machinist.
Have you guys watched it? It's been a long while. It's one of those dark, like.
Like bleak movies, because it's just he's this just I mean, it doesn't.
But he lost so much fucking weight for that movie.
And then I think he went from literally Batman Begins and then 12 months or 16 months later,
he's doing the Batman movie. He's Batman. He's Batman Begins or whatever.
He's fucking ripped in Batman. But then I think he does it again because for the movie W,
he gained a bunch of weight to play Chaney. Yeah.
Shoot him in the face. Yeah. Chaney. Yeah.
But he actually, yes. But he actually gained a shitload of weight.
He walked in front of the barrel. Yeah. He walked in.
What I was getting to. Bro, good for Chaney, though.
Real quick. Good for. I mean, just since we're on Chaney.
He got away with it. Good for Chaney. I don't believe in a lot of what maybe he did,
but he straight up was president of the United States. Vice president.
No, no, no, no. No. He ran our country for four years under the under the name vice president.
But he was our president and he shot a motherfucker in the face.
And just while being vice president, got away with it. I fucking love it.
What I was getting to with the Empire of the Sun thing was like Christian Bale's been an actor for so long,
like child actor to and crossed over into a prolific, well-known, like still successful actor,
which is rare. So can you advocate for him having that meltdown on Terminator Salvation?
OK. Yeah, I think like he's just been through this so many times and this guy just can't get his shit together.
I yelled at him. Yeah. Look, if you hire artists,
the nature of art is that it's it's supposed to come from a place of emotion and feeling.
So when you hire artists, you're going to get wild and and and sporadic, different, you know,
like like emotional outbursts. Sometimes I don't blame that one bit.
I expect any artist to have moments of I think is actually fairly common. Yeah.
I thought I was recorded having it recorded sucks, but I don't think that there's ever justification
for embarrassing someone for a mistake. What's that? What's that quote? I just heard.
It's better to like don't treat someone's ignorance as malice, like treated as a mistake.
If it's a mistake, it's a mistake. It's a mistake. Don't immediately go to a hateful place.
Well, we don't know if that guy had done it like 20 times and he's talked to him before and was like,
hey, man, just don't do that. Like it ruins the scene or whatever.
And then that someone actually like captures that. We don't know if that conversation happened prior.
There's an advocate for TC, you know, that that guy for not wearing his mask.
You seen that one? No. Same thing.
Like when you when you talked about the Christian Bale thing, I just immediately went to Tom Cruise screaming at this.
Cruz went off. Yeah. Yeah.
Because they were going to get shut down. And he had told that case, you know, the story to that was he told him two or three times.
He went off on a guy for not wearing his mask during covid. Sure.
They were going to have to shut down the set and everybody gets off for two weeks. Yeah.
I mean, that's fucked up. I would agree that there's there's I mean, but I bet you Tom Cruise handled it in a way that was like at least he doesn't he doesn't go hard.
Oh, no, he went pretty hard. OK. Well, that's the thing is that like, OK, if it makes sense, like maybe for Christian Bale, it makes sense.
And I was like, OK. But for the covid thing, I mean, half of them are going to disagree whether he was right or not.
That's true. The one where someone kisses Tom Cruise or splashes water in his face.
Oh, yeah. I just heard someone talking about that. There's a microphone.
But I was like, how would you do that? Oh, yeah. Why would you do that?
Do you do you he's like, do you get off on making less of people like you just talk to him like he's a little boy.
Now, that is a microphone. That is a microphone with a water like spigot thing.
So he's like talking on the mic and then he squirted him with a water bottle. Yeah, I would hit him.
I would probably like if I got I don't know, I actually have a pretty peaceful nature. I don't think I'd actually hit anyone. I think I would just cry.
I've been like because I'm kind of like kind of the funny joke, man.
But, you know, right. Wrong place. Hey, was that P?
Just tell me it wasn't urine. Yeah. Was it urine? Tell me it wasn't urine. Yes, it was urine.
Well, then I'm going to go kill myself just to get the urine off.
I don't think I could recover from urine. You know what? No, hold on. It was actually from the guys down at the underway.
I don't want to put this out in the world because someone's going to listen to these one day and they're going to be like, you know what really piss off Andy?
If we splashed him in the face with urine. They know that this is my biggest weakness and I don't want it out there.
To be fair, I don't think anyone and well, I wouldn't say that. Use anthrax instead.
Preferable. You know, normal people probably don't like being peed on. Yeah.
Well, there's a pornhub would disagree. I'm saying I said normal people.
Yeah. But listen, it's becoming more and more where the average porn is just including Golden Showers.
Now it's just no. Listen, I go on porn now and it's like it's like the expert.
Here's the the job. What's that?
Watch it 12 times a day. This is going to be the new step mom thing.
All right, guys. Yeah, I've been I've been diagramming this.
It will help me help. I'm stuck in the dryer now.
And then it was it then it was just step mom on vacation. They're just like, hey, I'm bored.
You're bored. And now we're going to watch Max hardcore after this.
That's all. That's how I my first introduction porn was as a child with my friends.
We found a box of the engine alert.
We went to shit dot com.
We just like let's go to shit dot com and we're oh, we shouldn't have gone to shit dot com.
The line that we're always repeating, like when we start here, I'm Batman, that line.
Basically that not in the script, but he says it. He says it.
It almost got cut up. He made that line up. Got it.
Yeah. Michael Keaton made that line up because he's it's hard script.
It was supposed to be I am the night. I mean, that's cool, too.
Yeah. He kept fucking it up so that they just kept in on Batman.
They're going to cut it out. Well, that would have been a mistake.
I remember early YouTube when Dark Knight came out, there's Pixies Productions and they did the auditions for Joker.
It's simple. Kill the fucking bat. No, no, no.
It's just kill the Batman. Let's go again.
He's like, simple. Batman. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no. They just keep like, kill the motherfucker.
Kill the fucking Batman. But don't you know, don't say fucking.
This is also the most successful movie we've ever watched.
I don't know if it's the most of all time profit wise, but it cost 35 million to make and made 400 and something.
I think we're about to inflation. I think we're about to break that, though, with the.
Or are we about to? Oh, no. Profitable, though, I'm saying, because it's just 35 million.
I'm saying the percentage they spend to make the movie.
Thirty five million is all they spent on this movie.
I thought we walked on that like made like a couple of million and it was only like a thousand.
Well, yeah, but still 35 to 400 million. Yeah.
But you know, if you go in percentage wise, you might be right with like, I don't know if it's Tucker and Dale versus evil.
One of them was like a couple thousand to make and it made like a couple of millions.
Oh, it must have been sleep walk kill. I wasn't here for that episode.
So I was like a thousand bucks a day for 20 days.
And it was all would probably. Yeah. So as far as percentage, you.
Oh, Blair Witch project, I think was a huge.
Which would be one. I get punched right in the fucking dick in this movie right at the end.
He's fighting that guy and he just fucking boom straight forward fist just dick punches this guy.
It's like I saw the best two nut shots in a movie I've seen within a week of each other.
Was the first one more like those Deadpool when he takes his skull.
Don't don't don't ruin it. It's this is going to come out like in a couple of weeks, but we don't want to talk about Deadpool.
No, because the episode comes out the day we record it.
Yeah, but then they'll know they're getting spoiled.
You can go listen to our Deadpool review. We're going to talk about that. Yeah.
Yeah. Last week or two weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. That came out two weeks ago. Yeah.
We're fine. But we don't want to ruin a movie that's still in the theaters.
Austin, the back to the future timeline better than your own fucking life.
I like it. He loves it more.
That's the that's the sickest burn anyone's ever made on me.
Your own that I know the back to the future timeline better than my own life.
Your own podcast. I mean, I don't know. You said what you said.
This podcast is his life. It fucking hit.
That's so accurate. I know more about the fictional lives of these characters on the on the movies and TV shows and comic books and books that are 18.
Oh, like Marvel. 18.
No, I think I think you're overloading yourself with how much stuff you're intaking for this show every week.
It is a lot of learning editing. I think. Yeah. Yeah.
You're you're speeding up thing has just made you just you found the fastest way to consume information.
That's your limitless pill. My limitless pill is just speeding everything up.
And the problem is, is that with my version of autism, it's it's I have to I have to I have to tell people what's on my mind.
And the problem is that with all of this compressed data, it uncompresses as we're talking, because the moment you say something, it just opens a file in my brain.
And if I don't let it out to anyone near me, it it goes into the bin. And, you know, the one that gives me pain in my head or it's just like until I get rid of those things.
It like I can't know. It's like earlier when he was saying something and you stopped him and said, no, I got to get this out.
I got to get it because that one would hurt because I that one.
I there was a buildup to it. So that was a huge fucking file that was needed to get deleted.
And I fucking that just gave me an idea for an episode that we need. We need to record it like this. The entire episode, we should all encourage people to listen to it at two times speed.
Except Andy will still be at it. And you'll be ready right now.
And if anybody breaks character, whatever they said will not be understood.
I want to kill myself. I hate that so fucking much.
But then when we listen to it, it'll be too. It'll be real.
It'll probably be so fucking funny to I'll do that.
Chapter one, and it'll slow us down. So we'll have better time to think of responses.
I straight up put things that so like if I every now and then I will all miss something someone says because either they're talking fast or there's a little bit of an accent on it or whatever.
So then I do go back and I'll put it at one X so that I can hear that thing.
Like for Mandy. Yeah. But but Mandy, dude, that's like watch most of that at two X and then slow it down.
But anyway, when I put it at one X and I start listening to these characters, I'm like, how does anybody in the fucking world listen to these people talk so goddamn slow?
This is I mean, I literally watch it at Batman's like, I'm Batman.
I'm like, I mean, like you got it.
Jokers like, hey, you just sensitize your dollar bill.
And I'm like, well, just say it already.
Just fucking say it. How do you feel talking to people in real life?
I hate it. There's some people that I talk to that talk so fucking slow and I finish sentences for them.
I know they hate it. I'm going to talk slower when I talk from now on.
You're so desensitized, the time.
I'll send you a message and I'll get a reply about it a week later.
Yeah. No. No. OK.
And then that's true because I'm the slowest text or I know my phone.
Yeah, I'm glad that you guys are putting this on air so that my other friends know that this isn't just them.
Listen, if you're friends with me, trust me, I'm not texting anyone else.
I'm also just know it's work.
I feel like I didn't text you fast enough.
So you're just like, fuck this.
I've known you for four years. I finally got your phone number.
I do not text you on that at all unless it's majorly important.
As far as I'm concerned, that's the fucking bat phone to reach Andy.
That is the bat phone.
I use Messenger to just throw whatever at you.
Yeah.
And then if it's super important, then I text you or call him.
That's probably fair.
It's not going to make a difference.
It does.
I've texted you before the chat and he's like, throw it in the chat. I'll read that.
It'll make him feel bad if he reads his text and it's something important.
The text message is sacred and you fucking ignored it.
It's about starting this up.
I don't know if he read it or he's just like, hey, you never answered my text.
We're doing like improv practice.
If I got into a car accident in this town, I couldn't call you.
I would have to call Ryan, my joker.
Why don't you call Andy?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Sorry.
I'll be right there, Austin.
What?
You think Ryan's better at answering the phone than I am?
Yeah.
You mean that?
He's the worst texter I know.
So that's saying something.
That's true, yeah.
I get pissed off he doesn't respond quick enough.
And I'm okay with there being months in between texts.
It's the fact that he quote unquote hates me.
Who?
That he would reply.
Ryan hates you?
He would reply to me.
Oh.
Oh, Austin never texts me.
This must be important, yeah.
Well, fuck.
So, I mean, there's a lot we didn't cover, but I mean, I guess I don't want to.
I tried.
I fucking tried.
He tried.
He was like pulling two teeth.
He was like staring at one note through fucking Back to the Future and shit trying to get it out.
Did I tell you guys the Dark Souls bat back joke?
Yes.
Okay.
The mimes at the end.
That's a joker move, I appreciate.
Getting a bunch of, hiring a bunch of professional mimes.
I do want to say something about like, because I watched them back to back with return.
Why the fuck does the Penguin have clowns?
Leftovers from the other movie?
I guess so.
They were just like, we need to reuse these guys.
Well, I think clowns are just from.
Gotham just has an assortment of clowns or just goons.
What would you prefer?
We just made 20 mil off the joker.
Let's go work for this other guy.
Yeah, let's work for the shorter guy that like humps the steering wheel.
What would you prefer?
Penguin costumes?
I mean, if they're just in tuxedos, I feel like that would be more appropriate.
Oh man, I didn't even think tuxedos.
Tuxedos?
No, that's not menacing.
Batman just shows up.
There's a bunch of good looking dudes in tuxedos.
I'm going to squirt ketchup on you.
You think the mafia, you know, they wear like, not die suits in tuxedos.
Yeah, but that's the mafia.
No one's like, you're terrified of the idea of the mafia because you know that one day the mafia might show up and get you.
But.
Not the penguin.
But not like, the penguin is a super villain.
He's got to have goons that strike fear into the hearts of Gothamites.
Plus they have to be freaks.
They have to be freaks.
I think that's part of it.
And Tim Burton's view on it, he actually talked about it.
It's a duel of the freaks.
It's a fight between disturbed people.
So if you get normal goons, it's not going to be freaks.
They want them to be freaks.
That was just the weirdest thing because I was like, Batman just fought clowns.
It's a joke.
That made sense.
But they're fucking like an ice.
I mean, I get what you're saying.
It's clowns and clowns.
But yeah, they wanted to be freaky.
And so I mean, I think clowns are freaky.
But maybe, yeah, maybe penguin suits.
The more I think about it.
Oh, how adorable.
Like those full attack by sliding on the penguins.
Even better.
You know, those like velociraptor T-Rex blow up ones.
You just get those.
But yeah, but it's just penguins.
So they're just running around bobble heading.
They're just sliding on their belly shooting.
Yeah.
You see that one.
Have you seen that video of the penguins?
They're walking in a line and one penguin slips and falls.
He goes, and all the other penguins are like, oh, fuck.
Didn't they have penguins with like laser beams on their back
in that one?
Yeah, didn't they?
I thought they did.
Yeah, yeah, actual penguins.
But I'm just talking about the I'm just talking about the
henchmen.
The henchmen or goons.
Oh, the little penguins or henchmen.
Yeah.
I mean, they're trained.
I was just like watching.
I was like, what's with all these clown makeup?
Yeah, but I think like a trained.
It threw me off.
Trained penguin henchmen.
I don't.
OK.
How do you guys feel about canine units with police?
Are they heroes or are they just dogs that were having sniffed
stuff that sometimes get shot because cops bring them around
dangerous criminals?
They're cops.
They just want treats.
That's what I'm saying.
They're just dogs.
No, they're not dogs.
I mean, I know.
I know that they're just dogs.
But we learned in some movies that if you harm them, it's like
harming the police.
That's what I'm talking about.
They have the same rights as police officers.
I'm totally fine with.
But like, are they heroes or are they just dogs?
Well, Andy, they are basically the smartest dogs in the world,
which is one step closer to talking dogs.
And I feel like you're setting me up to advocate that we start
maybe kill police dogs.
I didn't say that, Mike.
I would never say such a thing.
But you know how I feel about hyper intelligent animals.
I'm not a fan.
It's something close to something that you fear.
So get pretty close.
I mean, Huskies can like learn language.
Huskies can basically talk.
I mean, you think we should kill all Huskies.
The moment I see a YouTube video of a Husky going, take me out to
pee, I'd be like, yeah, let's fucking kill that monstrosity.
They probably have that.
Let's fucking kill that thing.
I'm already uncomfortable with the dogs that have those buttons.
I was just about to say that's what they use now is buttons.
So is it their talking or is it communicating?
OK, now that is more just communication because they're not
talking.
They don't know what you're saying.
It's like sign language with monkeys.
Which I'm also not a fan of.
Why are we teaching monkey sign language?
My aunt actually has a dog who has a bell.
It's a hanging bell, like a Christmas hanging bell.
It walks up and hits that fucker when it wants to go outside.
It's scary as fuck.
That's cool as fuck.
I don't know about you.
It's scary, though.
That dog knows to go up to the door and ring the damn bell.
It'll stand there and just ring this damn bell.
That's a little too much.
A little too intelligent.
I don't like the dogs that can skateboard.
I'm like, I don't like that they found faster.
Those dogs are fucking rad.
No, no, no.
It's rad to see.
But then you think of the implications.
How far are they?
How far away are they from driving?
If they're skateboarding now.
It's way different skateboarding versus driving.
It's literally you just hit the pedals.
They just need to be able to see.
You would just need to know.
You need to carve a little window out on the bottom of the car
so they could see out through the pedal part.
When the dogs start doing kickflips and shit,
come talk to me about that.
You joke, but the moment we see a dog kickflip,
I will be the first one with a fucking rifle ready to go.
Jesus Christ.
I was going to say, mine just jumps on me
and tries to tell me telepathically I need to go outside the stairs.
Yeah, terrifying.
Look, my favorite dog in the world is Taylor's dog, the Frenchy Rex.
And it's because there's nothing behind those vacant eyes
except just a vacant happy hole of where his brain should be.
And every time I see him, his body wiggles.
He just wants to be pet.
That's what a dog should be.
I wish my dog could talk.
He whines so much.
I just want to ask him what he's fucking whining about
so I can tell him to shut the fuck up.
Jesus.
Lance of the Apes must freak you the fuck out.
No, he does that.
This is where it all comes from.
He's super high pitched.
Fucking nothing.
He'll walk around, look at a closed door,
and be like, whee, whee, whee.
Well, if you were a ghost hunter person, believer guy,
you probably would have some ghosts in those closed doors.
His head is almost as big as mine, so when he turns, I see it.
Even if he's across the room, what the fuck are you looking at?
What the fuck are you looking at?
He's like the sixth sense dog. That's all he is.
Let's rate this thing.
Yeah, we should rate this thing because we still got to do Rex.
So, all right, out of mild prince-loving jokers,
five mild prince-loving jokers out of five,
what would you rate this?
We're also going to do your stupid system that you pioneered, Zach.
I make fun of every time we do this now.
If you're unfamiliar with the show, and this is your first one
because you're like, hey, Batman, let's listen to someone else talk about it
in all the other movies.
Sorry, we have a system here that Zach created a long time ago.
He thought it would be fun because we typically pick B movies
that the highest rating that we would have is a B.
And then it would go down to F, like a typical rating system,
but then if you're a really, really, really shitty movie,
which this movie doesn't have to worry about, you could get a W.
And that's our rating system, which we're still going to give this movie that.
And it's even worse now because there's As in there and there's Ms in there.
There's a S tier.
Listen, only when there's a particularly wonderful movie
will it get the rating it deserves.
Our masterpieces include Battlefield Earth, Steel,
and of course, the best movie of all time, King of the Avenue,
2010 starring Simon Rex and Bing Ray.
Anyway, or Dirt Nasty if you're feeling it.
Or Dirt Nasty if you're nasty.
If you're nasty, yeah.
So let's rate this thing.
I give this a strong B.
It doesn't get the B plus for me because of some layering issues
like the henchmen not stealing the money.
That or counterfeit?
That or counterfeit, now that you've said that,
but I'm still not going to adjust my grade.
It's a B.
And I also give it a five out of five Prince-loving,
museum-destroying jokers.
Austin?
I'm giving this movie an F minus.
Okay.
So not a W, but the closest I could get to it.
The only thing that's safer from a W is that Batman fucks and kills.
Okay.
I very much like Clooney Batman with nipples.
A lot better than this.
The best Batman.
It's a hot take.
Yeah, Mr. Freeze, Danny DeVito joke or Danny DeVito penguin.
No, that's Return.
Arnold and Poison Ivy.
Yeah, yeah, all those ones.
I like way better than this one.
I feel like this is...
No, no, no, no, guys, you guys are wrong.
It's Two-Face and Riddler together.
And then it's Poison Ivy and Freeze together.
Yeah, with Bane.
With Bane.
With Bane is always just an additional.
With Bane.
Yeah, with Bane.
Because Bane is sort of the special guest star.
Special guest star Bane for a little bit.
Bane's just like the strong henchman throughout the whole thing.
He's not like Bane in the...
He doesn't break his back or do any Bane shit.
He's not Mexican.
Sure, I'm not giving it a W of B just for the fact that you can't make a W Batman movie, I don't think, at least.
There's no W Batmans.
No, well, he's not public domain yet.
We would have chosen it.
So yeah, I'm going to go F minus and I'm going to call that one out of five Nutshock KOs.
There's still that 1940s Batman that's two and a half hours long.
It's a silent film too, so that would probably drive this guy crazy.
I...
F minus is a pretty hot take to have.
I think this is just the worst Batman movie I've seen.
Batman movies from this one going forward.
I'm not talking about the old 50s whatever the fuck.
If you're tearing it, that's different than rating the movie.
Because you know we're talking about...
Our scale covers all movies, right?
So do you think that 1989's Batman is worse than...
Let's just... I mean let's look at almost any other movie.
Stop it, you'll go blind!
Literally one Ranger, according to you, scored higher than Batman 1989.
Thomas Jane, another Batman villain, Thomas Jane...
Uh...
In one Ranger scores higher.
What else have we done?
The Nines!
The Punisher, baby.
Ryan Reynolds, The Nines.
Punisher would so kill Batman.
Okay, yeah fine, fucking F minus from Austin.
Austin Farrell.
Not like this man.
Everyone out there, Austin Farrell.
1989 Batman gets the one step up from the worst grade we have.
F minus from Austin Farrell.
You can find him at Austin Farrell Comedy.
Which Andy's going to change to an A plus for some reason.
He's going to come up with a different letter.
It's a Z, which means it transcends letters.
I got nothing.
You're going to bring the score down.
Alright, Zacky?
I'm not going to hurt it for its time, but it's probably like a C.
C plus at most.
Sure.
It's got some campiness to it, which I enjoy, but I felt like it couldn't decide whether it wanted to be serious or camp.
That brought it down to me.
Camp man.
Now make up your own scale out of five.
Mine was Picasso-loving jokers.
I'll give it a three out of five long ass cables.
There we go.
Okay, Mike?
Okay, a little different take because to me, Michael Keaton is going to be Batman.
That's just it.
Michael Keaton will always be George Clooney.
Yeah.
Anyway, he plays Bruce Wayne so much better.
This is the main thing, but I think Jack Nicholson is great.
Score's epic.
Danny Elfman.
Set design is fantastic.
Yeah, there's some CGI problems because of the time, but whatever.
That's 1989.
I'm going to say four and a half brooding Batarangs.
B minus.
Yeah.
It has its problems like all movies do, but it's not.
I mean, it's not a perfect movie, but it's a damn good movie.
And if you came with 66 to begin with, your starting point is 66 Batman.
This is like an upgrade of 66 Batman.
So it's for my age range, it's great.
Okay.
B minus for Mike.
Brandon?
Yeah.
So I really enjoy this movie.
It's a classic, one that I could watch with my kids.
They love it.
It's kind of how I introduce them to Batman and then I start showing them, you know,
progressively better.
It does have, you know, some campiness to it.
You know, darkness.
You can't decide, like you guys have all said.
I do give it a B minus.
Yeah.
Enjoyable.
I mean, I took three notes and then I was like, I'm just going to watch it.
I love this movie.
I think my last note was, I'm Batman.
And then, you know, that was it.
So I'm thinking with a B minus, a B, a B minus, an F minus, a C plus, we're going to land
at C. I think the F minus really takes it down.
Sorry, guys.
If you had done a D, we could have ended up at like a low B or a high C.
But the F minus really sends it down that extra letter grade.
I feel like all of you raised your fucking thing after I gave it.
They all had Cs on theirs, but then they all put B minus because they were like, yeah,
Austin, fuck is that?
I actually had it stuck to his guns.
I actually had an F minus.
Brought it up to a C plus.
I was like, I can't copy now.
The teacher's going to know.
Well, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, shit.
I do have one question, though.
Since we're doing a superhero that has multiple people playing, who would you rather have
as the perfect Batman and Bruce Wayne?
And you can't choose the same actor twice.
The best Batman and Bruce Wayne?
Yeah, so like Michael Keaton, Bruce Wayne is wonderful.
But who would be your Batman?
Yeah.
That's a good one.
What's the dream?
What is the dream?
Dream combo.
Bruce Wayne and Batman.
I kind of want Pedro Pascal to be Bruce Wayne.
I mean, from the people that have played him.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was actually thinking of different actors, too.
You're talking about, oh, of anyone who's played it, I would want Patterson versus Heath Ledger.
Is that what we're talking about?
No, no, no, we're talking about Bruce.
One, Bruce Wayne.
One plays Bruce Wayne.
The other actor plays Batman.
And that's the movie you would go.
Oh, OK, cool.
Then I would go Patterson, Batman.
And I would go, even though it wouldn't work, I'd probably go Clooney, Bruce Wayne.
Like it would be a weird, it wouldn't work.
But if you could make it work, if you could make.
But wait, but that's the question you're asking, right?
That's silly from anyone's point of view.
If I was like, I want Christian Bale's Batman, but I want Val Kuhlman to play him.
That's a bit of a better mix.
I mean, like, like that person plays only the Bruce Wayne part.
The Batman, that actor would only play the Batman part.
That's what I'm saying.
I like Robert Pattinson as Batman, like in the suit kicking people's ass.
I think he's the most badass.
I like it.
But I like George Clooney's goofy, goofy Bruce Wayne.
So it would be anytime he's in Bruce Wayne mode, it'd be goofy, silly.
He's pulled out the bat card.
He's got the bat nipples or whatever.
But then when it cuts to him fighting, the lighting changes and he just beats up people silent.
He goes, I am justice.
And then like walks off and goes back to like George Clooney around with his boys, his 25 year old boy that he fucking adopts.
You guys thought you hated me for giving this movie an F-.
I'm not a fan of this, but I think my favorite combo, Bruce Wayne, if I still understand the question, Ben Affleck did a great Bruce Wayne.
And I thought Robert Pattinson's Batman.
So I think that would be my combo.
I do like Batfleck too.
I would have both young for longevity.
So we don't have, you know, 30 different Batman.
But Affleck with Bruce Wayne for sure.
And then George Clooney back.
I'm going to stay with Pete Don Bruce Wayne and probably Pattinson is that.
What about a Valkyrie?
A Valkyrie is great, bro.
And then probably George Clooney as Bruce Wayne.
Let's pick the best Batmobile since we're talking Batman.
I think aesthetically, I love the 89 Batman mobile functionality wise.
It's the Tumbler all day long.
They stay pretty consistent throughout like this era of Batman, aren't they?
They all look hot roddish.
I just like returns because it's not a motorcycle.
Is it hot?
Forever.
You're talking about begins or Dark Knight.
Forever.
When he shoots it out, he shoots out a fucking motorcycle for Robin.
Oh, OK, because he also shoots out a motorcycle in Dark Knight.
Yeah, for himself.
The other one's like.
Yeah, that whole the wheels that the car.
I got to say Pattinson's Batmobile fucking sick, though, aesthetically, very cool.
I give you that.
I always want to fight you.
It's cool. Yeah.
I also think the the one that from the eighty nine one looks a bit like well,
it feels car like this same kind of design, which is like kind of cool in a way.
But if you guys have ever played the Rocksteady Arkham Knight's Arkham Knight game,
the Batmobile that they designed for that game, the way that it runs around the city is so fucking good.
It's it has a so you drive around like a normal car like any other video game.
But then you hold down. I think it's like left trigger or whatever.
It turns into tank mode.
And when you turn into tank mode immediately, the way that you move around is fully 360 like
you can just move around. So you're not very fast when you do that.
But if you're hitting a corner, so instead of it being like grappling hook goes out,
you just turn into tank mode and it'll immediately turn your car sideways.
You just keep going. So it's the functionality is fucking just sick. Right.
And what they did was they made a bunch of driving mini games or like like laps,
like, you know, like courses that you can run.
Then they made all of the Batmobiles that you could that you could have all the way
from 66 Batmobile that you could drive around it to the eighty nine one to the Tumblr
to the one that they had in the game. I don't think they probably didn't do the Batman
because they probably stopped doing updates for it. But they went pretty far.
I think they went all the way to I mean, it was there's a lot of batmobiles.
But it's just I like that. So if I could choose any batmobile.
Last fact about that batmobile before my autism, we can move on is the the the producers of the game,
the original. Are you going to say something?
I thought, oh, yeah, yeah. The autism was too strong.
I lost. I lost it. Yeah.
Yeah. So Arkham Asylum came out and it was for like Xbox 360.
And then Arkham Knight was for Xbox one, I believe, like that generation.
They said that if they were to put just the Batmobile,
just working a working version of Batmobile with like no city,
nothing else, just a driving working copy of the Batmobile from Arkham Knight,
it would take up an entire Xbox three CD three three sixty disc
and it would take all the power that the Xbox three sixty had just to run that Batmobile.
So like that's kind of a cool jump to think of how consoles work because like the best in Xbox three
sixty could do was just one component, a big component, but one component of a fully realized
Xbox one game, which has like a shitload of fucking other things to it as well.
Like, you know, free traversal and huge stuff to go through.
But now that you say all that, I want Carmageddon with that.
Carmageddon, they should remake it.
We should also since Twisted Metal did so well, we should get a Carmageddon TV show.
I did. I forgot there was a whole other side of notes that we've already reviewed the movie.
But I will say the ninja with swords was ridiculous.
Absolutely hated the Indiana Jones, this of it all, where he's like and then just I know that he fights him at first,
which I like, but then he just does it again.
And he just punches him and just one shot.
And he does that again later on. Why didn't Jack Napier shoot Bruce Wayne?
That's my biggest plot hole in this fucking movie.
He literally has the gun cocked, looking at the kid.
Here's the siren, has enough time to go to Lucky Day Kid or whatever the fuck and then fucks off.
I literally again, if you're going to kill, kill.
I would have been like, I kill mom, I kill dad.
And if I'm going to kill the kid, it's he's dead already.
Shot fired. I don't even if I hear sirens, they would have heard the other gunshots.
Well, most people who aren't you, Andy, will not hesitate before killing a child.
But most people aren't the Joker. Jack Napier was not the Joker.
He was Jack Napier and he just killed parents in front of a kid. He did.
But he was going to kill Bruce, had the gun pointed. I've said I'm about to kill you.
Did you ever dance with the devil in a pale moonlight?
He's what he says to Bruce, the thing he famously says before killing people.
It is about to kill him and then does it. I think it's ridiculous and I think he should have.
And you wouldn't have a movie. I'm OK with not having a movie if it means things are following the rules.
Oh, so you you agree with Austin's take of F minus then you didn't want this movie to happen.
I forgot all about this. I would have rated this differently. Yeah.
Someone knocks knocks put a covid mask on and it protected him from Joker gas.
So from anybody there that said that the masks did nothing during covid,
that's a big slap in the face because it protects you from fucking joke or gas bitch.
Oh. At one point, Knox falls on the roof of of what's her name?
Vicky Vicky Vail's car, and she just keeps driving like a while, right?
With him like splashed across her hood. Am I wrong?
And then doesn't she then stops violently and he smashes into the fucking side of a building
and he's all bloody and shit when she picks him up. Did he do something bad?
Did he miss a part where he became a villain?
So why did she not slow down to a normal stop to let him off the car?
Thumb broad. OK, there we go.
There's the Austin we all know and love. And she's also the villain. She's the villain.
Bobby, your gun or Bob, your gun. That's the best line in the movie. And then.
The Batwing. Lines up a shot, locks in the target and then misses every fucking bullet
and missile. It's like it locks on Joker.
It goes, all right, we're good to go. He hits all the fire buttons, machine gun
and two missiles, and it lines up and misses all of it.
And Joker extends his gun a little bit, points it up and gets one shot, kills the Batwing.
Fucking ridiculous. I thought that was stupid.
And then if you're almost like a cartoon. Now that you say that,
what's her face look like? She was about to blow the Joker.
Oh, she's all like she did. I love purple. Yeah.
Oh, and then the proto proto Harley Quinn was kind of cool.
Harley Quinn didn't exist when this movie was out.
Harley Quinn was created specifically for the animated TV show,
which was kind of a cool thing. She didn't come from the comics.
So like this, but they might have been inspired by this chick in the mask,
like this proto proto Harley Quinn.
So anyway, we already reviewed this movie. We already gave it everything.
Would you have changed your score reading through your notes?
You know what? Now that we've talked about it, I'm taking this down from a B to a C,
which is going to take our grade down to a D plus.
So Batman gets a D plus because you don't know how to movie write.
So cool. Oh, and then at the very, very end, this last notice,
the news reporter says all of Joker's men have been caught.
At least two of them had a helicopter full of counterfeit money.
And I know that they blew off some Joker diet. So I blew up.
Oh, yeah, I blew up because he had the bomb in his ass.
So all right now he died with blue balls.
You guys are going to either love me or hate me for this week's movie pick.
It's my pick, right? Yeah. All right.
I was told it's my pick this week.
You guys, I think you guys are going to love it. This is going to be a lot of fun.
It's going to be the motherfucking water world.
Or Kevin Costner, a land full of water.
Wait, I mean, I guess a world full of water, not no land to be seen.
The only reason we're watching water world is because the postman wasn't available to be.
So please to be if you're listening, fix that shit immediately so we can watch the much better,
and trust me, if you don't think I'm going to be talking about postman next week,
I was about to say...
I would actually suggest you all watch the...
In fact, can we double it up?
Mike says no.
I don't think...
You're already overloading.
You're already overloading, Andy.
I don't think double features is a good idea.
Maybe next year, unless it's movies I want to watch.
How about this?
Glitch is doing that movie thing and they got Postman on Laserdisc.
Okay, if we do Postman at Glitch, that'd be fun.
Since you love it so much that you're willing to break your own rules and do a double feature.
Did you guys make a veto button on this at all?
Only Andy has the veto button.
In fact, if anything, I've gained more power since you've left.
I now blatantly break rules.
Are we just going to unionize and not watch Postman?
We'll make a separate account when that shit happens.
The problem is I do like Postman as well.
We're not watching Postman.
It's Waterworld.
You're already overloading, Andy.
We've got to calm you down a little bit.
Well, I wrote slash the Postman and I'm probably going to watch both.
I'm going to talk as much about the Postman as I am Waterworld.
You guys do you, but I am going to make some comparisons.
I will just say that because they go together so well.
I know what you're saying.
I'll do a whole episode about Postman too if you want.
Hey, hey, Mr. Postman.
All right.
Now it's time, I guess, for recreational recommendation.
There we go.
Two hours, 11 minutes.
It's like I'm saying that I should just write it down.
All right.
What do you got, Austin?
So, I read a…
OK, in middle school, I dated this chick.
I moved out here while I was dating her.
She gave me this book.
I read about half of it and then my grandma found it and threw it away.
I never went back and read it again, but I saw it at a Goodwill the other day.
I picked it up, finished it, enjoyed it.
It's kind of fun.
Humor is a little outdated, but it's called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
by Tucker Max.
And yeah, it was the revised expanded edition.
So, and because it was after they made the movie of it,
which I didn't even know there was a movie.
Yeah, I don't know if it's, I don't think it's that good.
It's written in like a internet, like blog style, kind of,
but novelized and like changed around and stuff.
But really, really funny.
Some of the humor's a little outdated.
It's like, the best way to describe it,
it's like adventures of young Charles Bukowski.
There's lots of drinking stories and like crazy shit
that happened.
And then there's like an extra 30, 40 pages of like shit
that's happened since then and updates.
And he updates all the stories like, oh, so by the way,
this happened, you know, years after that.
So it's kind of cool.
Yeah, that is cool.
And it's funny because I have, I think we all have our own
little Tucker Max story.
Mine was taking the chick who got me that book
to go see the movie.
He's just not that into you.
And I was three fingers into her during the movie.
So that's great.
Yeah, good.
Oh, and that's the book I recommend.
I also recommend Tweaker Hunters on YouTube.
If you don't watch it already.
Fucking Tweaker Hunters.
Yes, they just go and it's in Phoenix and they just go around
and they film Tweakers and they talk to him and interview him.
Is that what that's called?
Smoke fentanyl on camera.
I just see that.
He pulls up and he's like, hey, cracker tweak.
You're like, I see that. I see that too.
It's but it's like a guy tries to sell him a crowbar.
Nobody wants to buy your fucking crowbar, Tweaker.
It's so great.
But isn't it also just profiting on the money and weed and shit?
He'll he'll pick them up and take them to the rehab center.
But it's a little bump fighty.
No, they don't make them fight or do anything.
You just talk to them like, tell us.
I just mean, I'm just I'm not saying it's a tweak.
Well, what got you to fucked up shit happened to you?
It's exploitation.
It's click bait for views.
It's like, do you hate the guy that like gives the homeless people food to or?
You can give homeless people food without filming it.
Yeah, but yeah, I'm saying that's what he films.
He doesn't do that.
What about the guy that gives him jobs and then follows up later
and then they're still working?
That one's a little different because it's showing a whole makeover.
I'm sure that there's good people out there doing good work.
But I feel like the ones that I've seen, the ones that you're talking about,
but the streets of Phoenix, the homeless people, it feels a little exploit, exploit.
Yeah, but it's just as exploitive as the guy that.
Well, it's because it's something we don't want to see.
So when you see someone showing you like this is fucking the reality
of what's fucking going on out here, I feel like that's actually kind of a good thing.
He's like, look at this fucking guy.
What do you do? A smoke fentanyl.
OK, how long have you been doing it? Five years.
OK, how do you pay for it?
I steal shit from the grocery store and sell it to people for half price.
Like this is a fucked up situation.
This guy is and he's not like exploiting them and making them dance
and fight other tweakers.
So that would be kind of fun to watch.
But that was he's not bump fight.
He's not bump fights at all.
You like it's big.
Drew is actually like he's really funny.
He interviews them like, and, you know, hopefully people will watch it
with how popular it is and maybe not smoke fentanyl and be homeless and be a tweaker.
OK, so yeah, you see that this is what fentanyl can get you.
Yeah, you want to be this guy.
He went on the metro rail.
Isn't that a little bit of a freak show dynamic of it's just like, hey, look, these freaks.
Let me point out these freaks.
Let me interview these freaks and let me talk about them,
because they are in a way freaks.
I'm not saying that, you know, that's not a serious problem.
There's not a disease or whatever the fuck.
But I'm just saying they are abnormal to the regular human condition.
They're living lives outside of the norm.
They're living these lives that, like, if you put underneath them,
like if you if you put underneath the camera lens, it it's like it's it's a dark.
I don't know. It's I kind of agree with you in a way.
And then I think about what people do watch.
And I mean, they could you could almost make that argument for everything
that has any reality to it.
I mean, even like the Kardashians or that crap people watch.
It's kind of the sign up to be exploited.
That's the difference.
Yeah. The Kardashians sign up to have the cameras following around
and watch their made up fights and all that's basically scripted.
Do you think that's influencing people for good, that fucking show?
Or yeah, that's making the world a worse place.
Or Kardashians.
Yeah, I think it makes the world the worst place.
Right. I think I think tweaker hunters makes the world a better place.
I don't want to be that fucking guy.
And every now and then there's like a funny guy.
So who cares?
And it sounds like he helps them out or tries to get them out.
Does he gives them rides to rehab.
He'll give them a little money.
He'll give them some shirts. He'll give them weed.
Here, don't smoke that smoke the weed.
There's always a couple sides to every story, right?
I'm just saying there could be, you know, you know, I don't know this guy.
I haven't seen him. He's like, yeah.
Or he's actually was a tweaker himself.
He got clean.
So he knows how to like speak their language and kind of makes it a lot different.
Knowing that knowing that does make a lot of difference.
But OK.
Good recommendation and talk about fucking life and make me look like an asshole, I guess,
because I don't like people who help the homeless.
That's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying help the homeless, but help them systematically.
Don't help them on an individual basis that doesn't do anything.
Pain handling doesn't help them.
You know, like they just go buy more drugs.
They just or even if they don't buy drugs, it doesn't help them
because it doesn't give them a roof over their head.
We need we need like.
Systems in place to take care of my I made a rule a long time ago.
I don't ever get paid in large money, but I'll if I'm at McDonald's,
I'll buy an extra burger and throw it out.
Yeah, I was in Wal-Mart.
I saw one of our most homeless homeless guy.
I never do this, but we're in.
He's in Wal-Mart with me and I was I was buying myself a hot dog
and I just was like, hey, man, you want one?
And he's just like, looked at me like, what the fuck?
No. And I was like, OK.
He got in. Yeah. Sorry for asking.
That fucking asshole homeless guy got in his cyber truck and drove away.
Like, what the fuck? Yeah.
No, this guy's definitely not.
I see him walking around.
What a poor. Stuck like this.
They're probably going to stay stuck like this.
So the best thing you can hope for, it's sad, but is to like
document it and show people.
So there will be less people like that.
They turn into that.
Not saying they're bad people.
Some of them are. But I'm saying like, you don't want this.
They made so don't do don't be this. Yeah. OK.
This was a heated recommendation. Yeah.
OK. Zach, my oh, it was.
But I didn't know this was a thing.
Yep. Mike, anything you've seen recently? Yeah.
It's just whatever you like or seen or read or anything.
It's just having fun in life. Doesn't matter. Yeah.
So mine has a good select. Yeah.
All right. Let's get into the Pornhub.
I mean, I think, yeah, I have found the two porters.
You can think about it while he might go. Yeah.
Well, we'll let him go last. Sure.
Mine, it's been a busy week.
Lots of shows, lots of stuff going on.
But I did end up watching a movie.
But I'm going to call this like a recommendation
or a black recommendation. Maybe it's a we watch Planet of the Apes.
Kingdom of the OK, please explain why it's your black.
Please explain why Kingdom of the Black.
OK, black. OK.
All right, Mike, just for everyone in the room.
I want man.
Well, from all we heard was you did something.
Oh, you heard Andy. You racist bastard.
Am I am I wrong? We both at the same time.
He flipped it out. He planned this.
You literally said I thought that about the intro things.
You hear what you want.
All time he was sitting there.
You hear what you want to hear.
I'm going to say black commendation.
And then when he says he heard black commendation,
I would be like, I said black commendation.
I was very clear. I even accidented it.
Yeah, I saw right through it.
I really wanted him to explain why it was so black.
I guess I thought Bob was here for a second.
Yeah. You heard black, too, right?
My black commendation.
I don't want to hear what you want to hear.
And it was his accent that threw it off.
But anyway, King of the Planet of Apes.
It's just boring.
It's I mean, it's good CGI.
It's good. You know, if you want to watch apes run around, it's OK.
That's the one with the meme going around where the guys look, Oh, no.
Oh, no. It's it's not a good movie.
It's a it's great graphics, great chase scenes,
great getting eggs out of eagles nests jet.
Yeah. Climbing around for a while and slide down the thing.
And there's three of the others. The others are much better.
So I think you think they're going the Fast and Furious route.
It feels that way a little bit.
This is going to be in space the next movie.
But that makes perfect sense.
Because actually, I don't know what I don't because I haven't seen these yet.
But the Bunga Bunga family, if if you did say if the last one was them,
if they got to the point where they had a space program, the apes,
and they sent an ape out and he experienced time travel
and then those stupid mammals took over the earth again and took back apes
and it did a full 360 reverse, you know. Yeah.
They just they just go back and forth.
Followers. Yeah. You follow an astronaut ape that comes back.
And then when it says multiverse, Mark Wahlberg shows up
and he fights James Franco and Charlson Heston.
You could do an AI.
So it's OK to turn on in the background, basically.
But it's not it's just not a good thing.
It's not it's not horrible, but it's not good.
So that's why I said, Matt, first.
And black and black and black and black and black and black and black.
Commendation. Yeah.
What I recommend like a black exploitation film or something.
Well, like he's like he's like he's like, y'all ever seen Roots? Yeah.
Actually, if someone said I've got a black
recommendation for you and said roots, I'd be like, all right.
What is my black recommendation is undercover brother.
I love undercover brother.
So what a black recommendation.
We watch Simone Biles.
There you go. That's gold medalist.
Yeah. It's a mobile.
She did that super 10 flips in the air or whatever the fuck.
It was amazing.
OK, Brennan, you guys notice how everyone got mad at the Olympics.
They were like, oh, that man boxed that woman.
It's like, no, there's a picture of her as a little girl.
She just has a little extra.
She got a little extra tea. That's all.
Yeah. Also, that wasn't the last supper being mocked.
That was the the Greek god and his depiction.
Yeah. Dionysus.
So it's Dionysus speaks is not that's why he was a blue dude
and not not dressed up like fucking Jesus.
A lot of bait and switch, I feel like this year they're like, let's get the
let's get the right matter or something.
Yeah. But actually, no, stupid.
Like or or counter to that, it wasn't a plan.
And the right just got mad.
Like, I'm not saying, look, it that was a little bit.
That was unjustified.
Either way, I don't think I'm mad.
I'll say it for you.
Michael Larson is saying that the right is stupid.
I'm saying that on the right,
maybe sometimes people jump too quickly to the wrong conclusions,
because again, Michael, I have a license plate
that people can easily identify me as I'm driving around.
So maybe I don't want to be political in one way or the other.
Choose what you want to believe in.
I'm so glad Trump was not murdered and assassinated.
Got long lived Trump.
Why did you get so mad?
I don't know. I don't know.
Because again, I'm in a really conservative area.
I need people to know that I'm their ally.
Why did you get so mad when I told you guys shot and he didn't die?
I didn't. That was.
Oh, yeah, because you never sent me the fucking clip to upload it.
And God damn it.
We also have two rice.
He rice balls coming.
Ladies and gentlemen, just pay just wait for our because we were recording
when we found out that Trump got got shots.
That's that.
We'll put that up maybe one day.
That was its own tangent.
I think I'm going to make a volume of tangents.
That's too much time.
No, it's like a tangent volume one.
It's like an hour. Half the show is every book.
If you do that and edit out the tangents from the episodes
as you're finding them, we could really reduce some of these episodes.
I'm already doing that with the highlight videos that you're not uploading.
Those books. This is internal company bullshit.
Brendan.
Well, so mine is also kind of a half recommendation,
but for different reasons than Mike, I just haven't finished it yet.
This kids waking up, things like that.
But the movie.
Busty Cop 7.
Yeah, it's a great movie.
No story five movie for 2019 called The White House
with Robert Pattinson and William Defoe.
Set in 1890, they're basically on an island by themselves
to kind of take care of the White House.
And they end up getting stuck there because of a storm.
You said White House.
I was like, whoa, this sounds cool.
You just want to hear what you want to hear, Austin.
Here in White House all the time.
It's a psychological thriller.
It's a little slow, but it's definitely kind of enjoyable
to see both Robert Pattinson and William Defoe together going crazy.
Like there's a scene where they're both just like shouting.
What? What? What? What?
Like really stone cold fans.
Yeah, exactly.
What?
Trying to stop Andy from tangents.
That'd be a good Batman Joker combo.
Every goddamn day.
I'll drink a beer.
What?
Two beers.
The longest wreck rack ever.
Yeah.
No.
Another 40 minutes of recommendations.
Is this one going to start another argument?
No, no.
I'm going to recommend Back to the Future.
I'm not recommending anything.
But oh, you got one.
Oh, yeah.
Try the talk about cheesy Chalupa street tacos.
They're fucking delicious.
That's a valid.
That's a valid wreck.
Try them while you can.
I got them last night.
They're good.
Yeah, like street cheesy Chalupa street tacos or something.
It's their new one.
If you go in the app.
I did my mistake.
I think I want to try it with the chicken.
I think chicken is the way to go.
Yeah, their new chicken is good.
I like their new chicken.
I mean, that with a couple of spicy potato tacos.
Oh, those are great, too.
I mean, extra sauce.
Is everyone else hungry?
The show started with food.
It's ending with food.
Yeah, there we go.
Yeah.
How many more of these do we have to record?
I'm hungry as fuck.
All righty, everybody.
So this has been a Batman, a Back to the Future,
the postman a little bit.
You don't have a wreck?
No, I don't.
It's been a hell of a ride.
Some of it involved Batman.
Most of it didn't.
So thanks for joining us.
I've been your host.
With us as always is Austin.
He walked away at the wrong time to be here three hours ago.
Farrell, fuck you.
With us as always is Zachy Improv-Quali.
Say it, you fuck.
Say something.
This whole time, you fucking asshole.
With us as always is Michael.
He's too old and pretty to die.
Larson.
Because I'm Cellios motherfucker.
Just going to hit stop.
I don't even care about Brennan at this point.
I just want everyone to just end on that fucking note.
No.
With us as always is Brennan.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Shipley up to Boston.
We're still not really here.
Oh, god.
He's really committed.
You're all really committing to your fucking bits from months
ago.
You guys are insane.
And months in the future, too.
Months in the future, too.
And you did it.
You did the regular dun dun dun dun dun.
I did.
Yeah.
He can't commit.
I can't commit to shit.
I've been your host, Andy Rice.
Let's get fried.
Wait.
We've been fried.
We've been podcast.
We've been Rice.
Fuck.
We've been Batman.
These
pieces fresh off my
Insta
ALI