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The

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The following podcast has been dubbed from English to English.

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And welcome to another foreign special language edition

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of Fried Rice Podcast.

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I am your host, Andy Rice.

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Let's get fried.

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With me, as always, is Austin.

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Traveled three hours to be here, but he came from China.

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Pretty impressive.

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Farrell.

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Check me out at the Weinstein Company.

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With us, as always, is Michael.

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Unlike Asian people, he's aging, and you can totally tell.

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Larson.

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Cellios, motherfucker.

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With us, as always, is Brennan.

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Oh.

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Trying to get canceled in one minute.

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52 seconds in and we're canceled.

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With us, as always, is Brennan.

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Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

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Shipley up to Boston.

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Hello, everybody.

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And I am your host.

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I already said it, Andy Rice.

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Oh, this is the first time in the history of this podcast

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where the fried rice probably is the most fitting.

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And again, the reason I'm doing all these Asian jokes

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at the top, I guess, if you want to call them that,

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is because we watched for the first time

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ever for this podcast a foreign movie.

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And it was Jackie Chan's first strike.

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And we'll get into it a little bit later.

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But welcome to the show.

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It's been an exciting week for everybody.

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Speaking of strikes, we got our first YouTube strike.

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Oh, did we really?

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Yeah.

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It said for usage or creation of illegal substances.

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And it was the You Cannot Kill Michael Larson video.

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And it's just like an hour and 44 minutes in.

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And I went and listened to it exactly then.

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And I didn't find anything offensive.

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And I'm like, what is the strike for?

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And it's like, oh, use or creation of drugs

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because of the little joint.

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Because it's that loop that we have, like the fill in loop

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so we can put the videos on YouTube.

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And it's like, yeah, but that's like almost every video

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right now.

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And it's only that one.

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That means like some asshole went in there

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and reported it for that.

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So we're getting in trouble because we

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have a fun little loop on our YouTube video

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that has a joint being just not even smoked, just placed down.

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I mean, we're burning.

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It's burning.

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It's burning.

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But what about the bong being picked up and put in there?

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What about the joint being put in the ashtray

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and then taken out of the ashtray?

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And for some reason, that specific moment,

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even though there's 12 other videos with the same exact loop

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that's happening until we get the new format going.

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When do we get our actual video on there

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and we're all actually smoking?

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That's the thing.

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It's going to be small in the corner.

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You have to have like this size TV to even see what we're doing.

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I haven't checked our voicemail lately.

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I'm almost afraid to because I feel like what's going to happen

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is that I'm going to start getting angry phone calls

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from people who think I'm driving poorly because of my license

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plate.

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They're going to like, who the fuck

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is this fried rice podcast?

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They're going to look it up, see I have a number,

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and then start calling and being like, hey, asshole,

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you cut me off on the road.

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And then I'll be like, are you that purple fucking van?

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You that fat bitch that was behind me?

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No, I did not.

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I did not cut you off purple van.

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There was about four car lengths in front of you, purple van.

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If you're out there, purple van, you're listening to this.

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Because I saw how angry you were when

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I got three car lengths in front of you, you pieces of shit.

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And you know what?

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80s, 90s, purple van.

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It was old.

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They don't make vans purple anymore.

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It could have been off purple.

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What's like a, what would be close to purple?

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Like a bluish, like runish, maybe.

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It was something into that.

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She sucks.

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Yeah, she sucks.

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Fuck you, purple van.

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Do you have another sticker?

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I'll call those people back, back in Phoenix, dude.

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I don't give a shit.

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And Deadpool 3 came out this week.

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Deadpool and Wolverine came out this week.

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We're not going to, of course, do any spoilers whatsoever.

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But because Brendan hasn't seen it yet.

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What do you mean?

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We just released it a week ago.

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Oh my god, that's right.

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I forgot all about that.

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I learned how time works, Andy.

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Yeah.

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Jeez, this is not the way that we deal with time is not sensitive.

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Which also means Brendan already saw it.

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You like the movie, Brendan?

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Yeah, it's fantastic.

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About three weeks ago, right?

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I'll talk about it next time.

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Especially that one part, that one part, right?

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Yeah, that one part was amazing.

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Perfect.

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It was funny.

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Thank the episode.

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So OK, what are we smoking this week?

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What are we smoking?

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Speaking of what are we smoking, I made one of those highlight

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reels.

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And if you listen to it, you can tell it gets edited.

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But it's like, all right, let's get into what are we smoking.

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And then it cuts to microintremadol is what I'm smoking.

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I must have been shortly after my surgery.

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Yep.

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So good cover, Mike.

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I packed a little bit of this GMO from, I don't even know the brand here.

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It just says GMO.

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It's a bag.

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It's green.

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It looks like it's got monster trucks on it.

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So if you know, and monster trucks with like onions and mushrooms in it?

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GMO, what are they like?

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Genetically modified?

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Yeah.

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Well, whatever.

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It's nighttime flower.

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But what did you pack?

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That tastes pretty good.

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It's still killing me.

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It's Calibut's Glitter Bomb.

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And it's a hybrid.

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I got it at THC, 28% THC.

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That's good.

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I've got to go tomorrow down to Calibut.

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I guess I got to go into Cali this next week to get some.

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I went to Jar's yesterday.

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Damn sign on the door.

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Yeah.

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I went there on Thursday or Wednesday and it was closed.

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I'm like, wow, way to miss out on thousands of dollars.

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That's got to be more than that.

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I think there's tens of thousands of dollars.

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They sold and they're reopening next week with a new name.

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Are they really?

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That's what I read online at least.

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They got buyout Jar's money?

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Jar's all over?

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Or just this Jar's?

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She doesn't work there anymore.

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But my Jar's was not closed.

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This one says Jar's Kingman for some fucking reason.

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But I did not get it in Kingman.

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I got it in El Mirage and Phoenix.

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But this is Georgia Pie and it's 25%.

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And in parentheses, it says good.

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They do a good, better, best or whatever.

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Yeah.

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I hate.

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I mean, thank you.

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Which means nothing.

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Yeah.

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Yes, I mean, Georgia Pie.

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Hell yeah.

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Thank you.

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I'll unpack that one next.

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Yeah.

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But I hate the tier system.

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So last night I was talking to my friend and there's two

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thoughts and this sort of relates to it a little bit.

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There needs to be just more universal terms for this.

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I think weed right now, we're sort of in the wild west

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of what to call stuff sometimes.

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I think that we need to come up with a way

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that people know exactly what they're getting into.

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So you buy a bottle of alcohol, it tells you the proof.

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And I know that we have THC percentages.

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But as we all know, that it kind of means nothing.

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Because like.

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They affect you differently, even whatever the percentage is.

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It used to be top shelf, mid shelf, bottom shelf.

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Yeah.

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That used to be what it was.

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And that was an OK system.

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We need something like based on how mellow it is versus more

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how it makes you feel.

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Or how potent.

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Yeah, the potency.

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But then also like top shelf, mid shelf, bottom shelf

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sort of sounds like drugular terms.

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Yeah.

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You don't go, well, I mean, actually.

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No, that's what you want.

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Alcohol though.

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You would want, let me get top shelf, let me get well.

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Right.

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Exactly.

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So I guess that would be.

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The problem with it is it doesn't always match up.

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So I'll get a top shelf and smoke it and have

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hardly any effect on me.

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And then I'll get the cheapest crap in the world

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and it'll make me higher in hell.

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This comedian had a really good joke about dispensaries

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should have like a section for people who like buying

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weed the old fashioned way.

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And I'm getting to the old fashioned.

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And then they take you to a room and there's

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just a guy with a dog that doesn't like anyone.

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And then you make the transaction.

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And then he asks you to give his mom a ride to the liquor store.

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That's great.

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That's so good.

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You're going to be like, then you smoke it with him.

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Make sure you're not a cop.

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Yeah, Grant, if you're listening.

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Love you, buddy.

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Loved going to your house.

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You're my favorite guy.

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And then the other thing I was thinking is,

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we're just talking about universal terms for things.

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I'm tired of us not having a name for shorts or YouTube

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shorts, reels, or TikToks.

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Right now, as I'm saying, all three, there's not a form

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content.

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Well, yeah, but even that people aren't using short form content.

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They're either saying I watched a TikTok the other day,

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and then immediately people look at you like,

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you have a TikTok?

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And I'm like, no, I don't have a fucking TikTok.

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And I didn't watch a TikTok.

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But maybe I watched a TikTok that somebody posted on YouTube

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shorts, or maybe I watched a Facebook reel or an Instagram

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reel, whatever.

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It's all the same shit.

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It's just short form content, one minute at a time,

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or less, or more, or whatever.

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There's no rules to it.

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Honestly, some could be 10 seconds.

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Some could be 10 minutes.

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Now I've seen that.

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Yeah.

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YouTube or Facebook, they can be a little longer.

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All our highlight reels, I've just

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been throwing them on Facebook just to see what happens.

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So I'm trying to get us the business page higher

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on that level.

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And now we're at the point where we need 3 million views

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on our shorts or whatever.

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00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:30,340
So if you're listening, go watch our shorts 1 million times

268
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:32,460
and get two other people to do the same thing.

269
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,220
I'm not asking you to do all three yourself.

270
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:35,660
Instagram's a little more strict.

271
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:38,300
They want it to be like 10 minutes, and that's it.

272
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,820
Yeah, I mean, it's.

273
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:42,860
With our highlight reels, I clip just the funny parts.

274
00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:46,100
Not even all the funny parts.

275
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,540
It ends up being however long it is.

276
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,700
I think Slipstream was like 20 minutes long.

277
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,980
We had a lot to say about it.

278
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:52,580
We did.

279
00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:57,180
They usually generally between 10 and 15 minutes long.

280
00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:59,780
If anyone sees, I'm not watching this two hour fucking video

281
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,180
on the coonies.

282
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:03,700
And well, then here's a shorter one.

283
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,340
I actually recommend that you listen

284
00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:08,540
to our podcast at 1.5 speed.

285
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,500
Because I feel like you can.

286
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,580
Just two hours, they're pretty long.

287
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:13,220
We're sorry.

288
00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:15,860
And everyone's high and they talk slow.

289
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,220
Yeah, I mean, fuck.

290
00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,460
And you know how I feel about slow talkers.

291
00:11:19,460 --> 00:11:20,220
I fucking hate it.

292
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:21,820
So like, listen to our shit at 1.5.

293
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,500
I'm not going to be offended by it.

294
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,020
We probably sound better at 1.5.

295
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:26,620
Yeah, we do.

296
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,420
Brendan sounds, he's louder at 1.5.

297
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:32,220
At 1.5 speed.

298
00:11:32,220 --> 00:11:33,380
So that's the one we spoke.

299
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:34,460
We got Georgia Pie.

300
00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,020
We've got Glitter Bomb.

301
00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:38,340
And we've got genetically modified Monster trucks

302
00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:40,060
with onions in their backseat for some reason.

303
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:41,340
Again, it's a weird picture.

304
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:43,220
I don't know if they used AI or whatever.

305
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:44,260
But that's what I would use.

306
00:11:44,260 --> 00:11:45,900
I would use AI if I had a weed company.

307
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,860
I would just have all sorts of cool packages

308
00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:50,420
with fucking weird AI shit all over it.

309
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:53,180
In fact, I'd even call my weed AI or something.

310
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:55,580
Like, it gives you artificial intelligence.

311
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:57,740
Artificial.

312
00:11:57,740 --> 00:12:02,220
Oh, there's got to be an I word for weed.

313
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,260
Artificial indica?

314
00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:05,420
No, because you don't want people to think it's artificial.

315
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,020
Yeah, yeah, that's true.

316
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,060
Yeah, you know, I think they're getting like spice

317
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:09,580
or something.

318
00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:11,460
There is an artificial, yeah, it's spice.

319
00:12:11,460 --> 00:12:13,060
That's artificial indica.

320
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:16,540
When I, my buddy Sean and I, when we were 22,

321
00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:18,220
we went backpacking across Europe.

322
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:22,300
And when we went to Ireland, we were

323
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,180
jonesing for some weed.

324
00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:27,820
It was day two of us being on our trip.

325
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:32,500
And so we bought spice and, or I think their version of it.

326
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:35,620
And we smoked it at a park, and it was fucking awful.

327
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,220
And I hated every second of it.

328
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,260
And it didn't get us high.

329
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:39,620
It just gave us headaches.

330
00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,780
And so we were like, nah, fucking spice doesn't work.

331
00:12:41,780 --> 00:12:43,220
Let's go buy real weed or whatever,

332
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,420
which we did at some point.

333
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:50,180
But the guy that we, so the shop we went into,

334
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:53,300
though, to buy the spice, we were like, hey,

335
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:55,060
we heard that there's some fake weed out here.

336
00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:56,020
Because we didn't know what it was.

337
00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:57,940
I think it was just brand new, whatever spice was.

338
00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:00,340
And we're like, hey, we heard there's some fake weed.

339
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,460
We're trying to be like, why?

340
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:02,780
He's like, yeah, here it is.

341
00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:05,100
He's like, I also have fake cocaine.

342
00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,620
And we're like, OK.

343
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,460
And he's like, you want to try a sample?

344
00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:10,540
We're like, what?

345
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:13,100
And he pulls out, literally says sample on it,

346
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:16,540
a tiny little Ziploc bag of fake cocaine.

347
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:20,220
And he puts two lines out on the glass counter in front of us.

348
00:13:20,220 --> 00:13:20,980
Where was this?

349
00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:21,820
In Ireland.

350
00:13:21,820 --> 00:13:25,140
Like Dublin, in Dublin, on a little street

351
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:28,300
that there was a farmer's market outside, which plays a-

352
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:29,500
Do the accent then.

353
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,700
Oh, OK.

354
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:31,380
I'm so sorry.

355
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:32,860
Yeah, yeah.

356
00:13:32,860 --> 00:13:34,300
Hello, sir.

357
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:37,940
We would like to, we've heard that there's some fake meat.

358
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:39,420
Oh, yeah, yeah.

359
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:42,060
There'd be spice is what it's called.

360
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:42,580
OK.

361
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,340
I'm Randy McIse.

362
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:45,100
That's me.

363
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,700
I'm Randy McIse.

364
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,700
OK, well, yeah, we'd like some of that.

365
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:52,140
But we've also got fake cocaine.

366
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:53,580
It's me lucky charm.

367
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:58,020
And so anyway, he lines it up.

368
00:13:58,020 --> 00:14:00,020
Sean didn't want to do it because he's like,

369
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,340
I'm not doing no sketch fake cocaine.

370
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:03,460
I do both lines.

371
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,340
Wait for it.

372
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:08,380
Hi, Andy's mom.

373
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,980
I've never done cocaine.

374
00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:16,220
And so the thing is, immediately, I feel sick to my stomach.

375
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,260
It hit me weird.

376
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:19,540
It probably may be laxative.

377
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:20,980
It might have been maybe laxative.

378
00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:25,740
I walk outside and I throw up.

379
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:30,980
I throw up all over a fruit cart that was outside.

380
00:14:30,980 --> 00:14:33,940
I threw up on some fruit at a fruit cart,

381
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,340
on the bottom of the thing.

382
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:38,100
And the guy got really angry and me and Sean had to run away.

383
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:42,300
And we ran down the street and ran into a Vons type thing,

384
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,660
like an Albertsons type store.

385
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:44,380
McVons?

386
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:47,180
McVons, yeah.

387
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:51,940
And that's where we found out that they call their body wash

388
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,260
douche.

389
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:54,700
Some of them are called douche.

390
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,380
McDouche?

391
00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:56,020
Yeah, McDouche.

392
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,700
Sorry, I'll put a Mc in front of everything.

393
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:58,900
Everything's next there.

394
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,620
We did go to a, you know what, this

395
00:15:00,620 --> 00:15:02,820
is the time that this was the water we smoked.

396
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,220
And not talk about Europe.

397
00:15:04,220 --> 00:15:06,300
I just spent, I just saw Sean.

398
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,460
And we, you know, I missed the trip.

399
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,260
It's been a while.

400
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:12,660
I like the old stories, though.

401
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:13,460
I miss it, man.

402
00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:15,740
I remember we, way back in high school,

403
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,300
we went to the park to meet up with someone to buy weed.

404
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,060
And he's like, I don't have any bags,

405
00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:21,580
so I just got to give it to you.

406
00:15:21,580 --> 00:15:24,540
And we just walked like a mile home with our palm open,

407
00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:25,620
just with weed.

408
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,940
Just like, do do do do do.

409
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:30,780
Why first time getting my friend Michael high?

410
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:33,540
Or I think it was his first or second time.

411
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:37,420
We got, we just got so fucking high in the backseat

412
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:38,300
of this car.

413
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,580
And we started walking.

414
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:40,740
We were like, we can't drive.

415
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:44,540
Let's just walk to the Carl's Jr., which is by a block away.

416
00:15:44,540 --> 00:15:45,300
It was a mission.

417
00:15:45,300 --> 00:15:48,060
But we go to the Carl's Jr. and we're still fucking

418
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:49,820
just stoned out of our minds.

419
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:54,700
On our way back, we see this car just driving kind of slowly

420
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,460
by us.

421
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:59,140
And we all thought we were about to get drive-by shot.

422
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:03,820
And so we like froze and we're all about to jump

423
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:04,780
into the bushes.

424
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:06,340
And the car just drives by.

425
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,620
And we all like, we're freaking out.

426
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:08,740
We look at each other.

427
00:16:08,740 --> 00:16:11,180
And I was like, husband, did you think

428
00:16:11,180 --> 00:16:12,340
we were about to get shot?

429
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,140
Like it's, you know, I don't know.

430
00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:16,100
We didn't get shot.

431
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,060
I don't know where this is going.

432
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,980
You're just getting me high and talking about old times.

433
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:22,500
Yeah, we went to my friend's house.

434
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,420
This is like right after we first started smoking weed.

435
00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:28,340
And we got the idea of, why don't we eat the weed

436
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:29,860
and see what it does?

437
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:30,700
So we got a big nug.

438
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,100
We split it in half.

439
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:34,380
We went into the laundry room to eat it for some reason.

440
00:16:34,380 --> 00:16:35,980
Yeah, that's what does.

441
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:38,540
And we ate it and nothing happened.

442
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:39,380
So we never did.

443
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:40,900
You don't get high from eating weed?

444
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:41,740
Not straight up, no.

445
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:42,580
Not straight.

446
00:16:42,580 --> 00:16:43,420
If it's just flour.

447
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,580
You gotta like, how come it kills dogs then?

448
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:47,660
I don't think flour does.

449
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:48,700
Chocolate kills dogs.

450
00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,060
Dogs are very vulnerable.

451
00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,340
Yeah.

452
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:52,820
It's true.

453
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,180
It's something to do with the heating process

454
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,660
of cooking it that brings it out there.

455
00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:58,820
You gotta like strain the Christianity out of it.

456
00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:07,140
My friend, I went to his house and his dog bark, bark, bark.

457
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:08,940
Just doesn't like me one bit.

458
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,020
Doesn't give me a chance.

459
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:11,940
I'm trying to, you know, like I'm being super friendly

460
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:14,580
because I love dogs and it's a little chihuahua

461
00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:16,260
and it fucking hates me, right?

462
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,900
And then later on, and this is after me being

463
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:21,660
in the apartment and like being near the dog this whole time

464
00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:23,020
and it stopped barking.

465
00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:24,980
We're trying to like get a situation

466
00:17:24,980 --> 00:17:26,940
where I can get close enough for the dog to smell me

467
00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:29,060
or whatever and it's like, don't worry.

468
00:17:29,060 --> 00:17:30,940
She's just shy or whatever.

469
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:31,900
She doesn't bite anyone.

470
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:34,140
The motherfucker took a bite at me.

471
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,820
Just last night it fucking nipped at my hand

472
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:39,220
and they both looked at the dog like, oh shit.

473
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,060
She's never done that before.

474
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,860
It was a chihuahua, it did hurt.

475
00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:42,700
No, it didn't hurt.

476
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,820
It wasn't.

477
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,460
But Jesus Christ, dude.

478
00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:46,300
Scary though.

479
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,940
I'm getting like a bad, I've had a bad run

480
00:17:47,940 --> 00:17:49,380
in with dogs lately.

481
00:17:49,380 --> 00:17:51,860
Ever since that, I took a delivery to that house

482
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:54,420
and I took a delivery to a house,

483
00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:55,780
the gate was closed.

484
00:17:55,780 --> 00:17:58,900
I opened it up because it's a delivery.

485
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,460
They know I'm coming.

486
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:03,580
I knock on the door and then I realize, uh oh,

487
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:07,100
I hear barking inside and I realize there's a dog door,

488
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:09,340
two of them, right next to me.

489
00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:12,540
And they look open and I hear movement from the inside

490
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,300
and I was like, fuck.

491
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:18,620
And so I put the pizza on the ground or table, whatever,

492
00:18:18,620 --> 00:18:20,540
and I fucking run.

493
00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:22,980
And I get to the gate as the dogs are running out,

494
00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,100
chasing me.

495
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,660
Like they get to the gate, slam the gate,

496
00:18:25,660 --> 00:18:28,700
they're right there, like jumping up and shit.

497
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,900
And then it was scary, man, they're big dogs.

498
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,300
And I, who the fuck does that?

499
00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,220
I don't know, but who the fuck doesn't come back to the store

500
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:37,060
and tell everybody else about that address

501
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,500
so we don't do the same thing?

502
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,380
I think I put a note.

503
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,060
There was a note on that.

504
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:42,900
Did I?

505
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:43,740
I think so.

506
00:18:43,740 --> 00:18:44,560
Okay.

507
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:45,580
That was their way of getting out of tipping me.

508
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:46,420
Me and my buddy.

509
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:47,940
There's easier ways to not tip me.

510
00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:48,900
Yeah, just don't tip.

511
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:49,740
Send your fucking.

512
00:18:49,740 --> 00:18:50,580
That's what I tell people.

513
00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:51,420
Quit sending the kid to the door

514
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:52,260
because you're embarrassed.

515
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:53,100
Yeah, send your kid to the door

516
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:54,140
because you're gonna tip.

517
00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:57,260
That's the cheap, that's the fucking pussy way out.

518
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,660
You listen bitches, if you're listening and you don't tip,

519
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:00,980
we've got some fucking shit to say.

520
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,500
That's teaching your children wrong.

521
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:03,340
Yeah.

522
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:06,220
Gen Z, Gen Alpha, every time I go to the fucking door,

523
00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:09,020
if there's a 15, 16 year old kid and they order pizza,

524
00:19:09,020 --> 00:19:11,060
guess who's not getting a fucking tip?

525
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,220
Because they're pieces of shit.

526
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,940
You're teaching them wrong.

527
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:16,740
Like no one's teaching their kids

528
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:19,500
the right way anymore to be, I bet you,

529
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,860
your piece of shit, Gen Alpha kids,

530
00:19:21,860 --> 00:19:25,900
Gen Z kids right now are at a restaurant

531
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,420
not tipping their fucking server.

532
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:28,980
And then they're gonna go home and get on their Facebook

533
00:19:28,980 --> 00:19:31,900
and share Andrew Tate videos about business and like,

534
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:34,020
yeah, I know dude, I'm gonna fucking.

535
00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:36,980
Just posting quotes and shit.

536
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:41,460
It's like Gen Z men or boys are like the new white girls

537
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,780
of our younger days where it's just a fucking stupid quote

538
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:46,860
with like a picture of a flower or some shit.

539
00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,100
Now guys are doing it.

540
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:49,980
It's like, it's always like a picture

541
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,940
of like fucking Ghost Rider or that guy from Peaky Blinders

542
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:53,780
or some shit.

543
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:55,980
Yeah, yeah, some sort of giga Chad.

544
00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:57,260
I don't see you at the party.

545
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:58,580
I don't see you at the bank.

546
00:19:58,580 --> 00:19:59,580
Like shit like that.

547
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:03,260
Like those are the fuckers that don't tip.

548
00:20:03,260 --> 00:20:05,980
This guy likes to go out and drink with, you know,

549
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:09,380
bitches on grind mode, grind set 24 seven.

550
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:11,180
Beast mode, hashtag beast mode.

551
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:13,140
Hashtag beast, you know, that's actually beast mode

552
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,460
probably old school now.

553
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:17,100
I bet you saying beast mode is fucking lame.

554
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,580
I'm 30, I don't give a fuck.

555
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:19,420
Yeah.

556
00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:22,380
Speaking of fight me kids,

557
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:26,900
let's talk about this week's action packed question board.

558
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:36,300
Jackie Chan's police story four slash first strike.

559
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:38,660
I wish I had known it was the fourth

560
00:20:38,660 --> 00:20:43,140
of a police story franchise named first because.

561
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:44,820
Fourth strike.

562
00:20:44,820 --> 00:20:47,940
Because I, the whole fucking time,

563
00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:50,980
I'm just thinking like, this kind of feels like a movie

564
00:20:50,980 --> 00:20:52,740
that's in the middle of a franchise.

565
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:54,380
Why does this story start in the middle?

566
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:55,220
I'm confused.

567
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,220
Why is everyone so on,

568
00:20:57,220 --> 00:21:00,100
why does everyone want Jackie Chan's dick so bad?

569
00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:03,420
Why is every country in the world fighting

570
00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:06,980
to get Jackie Chan to help solve some cases?

571
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:09,460
What has he done other than follow a Russian woman

572
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:11,020
around a little bit in the beginning?

573
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,860
What's so big about like it does anyway.

574
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:14,900
He noticed how many times she went to the bathroom.

575
00:21:14,900 --> 00:21:15,980
Wait, what'd you say?

576
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:17,660
He noticed how many times she went to the bathroom

577
00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:18,500
on the plane.

578
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:19,340
She went seven times.

579
00:21:19,340 --> 00:21:20,160
Yeah, she went seven times.

580
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,940
I feel like, okay, we're gonna execute this guy now.

581
00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:22,980
She was doing some cocaine.

582
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:25,380
Yeah, she was definitely doing cocaine.

583
00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:27,180
That's what you take away from that.

584
00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:29,820
Well, okay.

585
00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:32,260
First Jackie, so it's called first strike.

586
00:21:32,260 --> 00:21:37,260
It's called ging shat gu si four gan dan yang mo.

587
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:39,660
It's also called police story four

588
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:41,960
or Jackie Chan's first strike.

589
00:21:42,940 --> 00:21:43,780
Is that.

590
00:21:43,780 --> 00:21:45,340
I can't wait to see what the transcript says.

591
00:21:45,340 --> 00:21:46,180
What you just said.

592
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:50,580
Is super cop part of the police story?

593
00:21:50,580 --> 00:21:51,420
I think so.

594
00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:52,500
Is that the first?

595
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:54,300
Is that the first?

596
00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:57,500
Don't tell me super cop is the first of the police store.

597
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,380
No, there's a police story.

598
00:21:59,380 --> 00:22:01,640
A police story two first strike.

599
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,580
Oh, but there's also a super cop too.

600
00:22:03,580 --> 00:22:06,200
Okay, so super cops its own.

601
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,060
Oh no, it's police story three super cop.

602
00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:14,700
Okay, no, no, no, no.

603
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:18,340
So you're telling me there is a police story.

604
00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:23,340
A police story two, a police story three super cop,

605
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,780
a police story four Jackie Chan's first strike

606
00:22:26,780 --> 00:22:31,300
and a police story three super cop two.

607
00:22:32,260 --> 00:22:33,900
That's this is a common thing in the 90s.

608
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,260
I've watched breakdowns of it.

609
00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:37,620
It's kind of like a, if you look up armor of God,

610
00:22:37,620 --> 00:22:39,700
Jackie Chan, there's a whole, yeah, there it is.

611
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:40,540
Armor of God two.

612
00:22:40,540 --> 00:22:42,860
Oh, and there's also a new police story.

613
00:22:42,860 --> 00:22:47,860
There's something with the rights to the title

614
00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:50,500
or something from between China.

615
00:22:50,500 --> 00:22:52,380
It's China, Hong Kong is the thing.

616
00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:54,780
Part of it is that China, Hong Kong thing.

617
00:22:54,780 --> 00:22:56,460
So like when they released them other places,

618
00:22:56,460 --> 00:22:58,320
they have to have a different name.

619
00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,620
So even though it's the same movie,

620
00:22:59,620 --> 00:23:01,100
it has two names or three names.

621
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:03,300
I mean, I get all that, I guess.

622
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:06,540
But armor of God two operation condor.

623
00:23:06,540 --> 00:23:09,340
I remember calling this operation condor,

624
00:23:09,340 --> 00:23:10,300
but what is this called?

625
00:23:10,300 --> 00:23:13,460
Mission Adler?

626
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,300
Mission Adler?

627
00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:18,700
That's no one in there, no one's called it Mission Adler.

628
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,580
Different countries, different names.

629
00:23:20,580 --> 00:23:22,980
Oh, der Stark arm that got there.

630
00:23:22,980 --> 00:23:26,580
Okay, so that's a German title, who cares?

631
00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:28,200
I mean, this is a better controversy

632
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,700
for Jackie Chan than the other one.

633
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:31,540
Wait, it's a what?

634
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:32,940
What's the other one?

635
00:23:32,940 --> 00:23:35,580
Type in Jackie Chan controversy, people won't like it.

636
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,140
Not to defame Jackie Chan,

637
00:23:37,140 --> 00:23:39,140
but there's a reason he's not in anything anymore.

638
00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:40,820
With something with his daughter, isn't it?

639
00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:42,540
His son is gay?

640
00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:44,860
And he's like, I do not like son.

641
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:46,020
Yeah.

642
00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:49,200
Oh, well, way to bring this down.

643
00:23:50,620 --> 00:23:52,140
Well, hey, you're getting the work done

644
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:53,500
over his movie titles.

645
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:54,340
Well, I was about to-

646
00:23:54,340 --> 00:23:55,180
This is a lighter version.

647
00:23:55,180 --> 00:23:56,180
I was about to start talking about

648
00:23:56,180 --> 00:23:57,820
how much I love Jackie Chan.

649
00:23:57,820 --> 00:23:59,920
I still love him, I love him more now.

650
00:24:01,260 --> 00:24:02,580
I stand with Jackie Chan.

651
00:24:02,580 --> 00:24:07,580
That's a funky ass picture of Jackie Chan's face.

652
00:24:09,940 --> 00:24:11,340
Let's go to his controversy.

653
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:15,860
First of all, no, it doesn't even say anything.

654
00:24:15,860 --> 00:24:17,420
Yeah, it does at the bottom.

655
00:24:17,420 --> 00:24:18,940
Oh, an affair.

656
00:24:18,940 --> 00:24:19,780
Affair?

657
00:24:19,780 --> 00:24:22,540
It's an affair, despite regretting the results

658
00:24:22,540 --> 00:24:23,380
of the affair in Chancery.

659
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:25,420
Oh, he had an extramarital affair.

660
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:26,480
He has a daughter.

661
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,360
Yeah, okay.

662
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:33,160
Oh, okay, wait, no.

663
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,560
No, I think it's-

664
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,400
There's nothing, yeah.

665
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,160
Yeah, it's nothing for America,

666
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,840
but I think in Taiwan it might be

667
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:41,280
a much bigger deal than here.

668
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,200
Is there gonna be a Jackie Chan movie

669
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,000
where he saves Taiwan from China?

670
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,720
Political views and controversy.

671
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:52,840
It just needed a much bigger section

672
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,800
to talk about how fucked up he is.

673
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,240
So we're just scrolling through,

674
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,120
we're like, no, look, he's fine.

675
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,040
It's in under his legacy, it says, see, cultural impact,

676
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,480
he's really good, and then, no, no, no, here we go.

677
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,320
Here's the political views and controversy.

678
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,360
Just because of their country's political views.

679
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:11,960
Yeah, talking about Taiwan and Hong Kong, China.

680
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,720
Yeah, the CCP.

681
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,800
He's a country boy.

682
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,000
He was named in the Panama Papers?

683
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,760
Oh, wow, is this him in drag?

684
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,040
Wow, I did not expect to find just a picture.

685
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:30,040
In Supercop 2, which again, is Police Story 3's sequel

686
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,080
to itself.

687
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,960
Supercop 2 is Police Story 3.5.

688
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:38,800
Yeah.

689
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,280
Or if you are going Final Fantasy rules,

690
00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:45,640
they did, for the first, so, Final Fantasy 1 through 9

691
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:48,040
are just standalone on their own.

692
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,440
There was a Final Fantasy Tactics,

693
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,920
and you have like, Mystic Quest,

694
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,080
I think is like a Final Fantasy ripoff,

695
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,120
and then there's a couple of choke ball games, whatever.

696
00:25:56,120 --> 00:26:01,120
But, Final Fantasy 10 got a direct sequel,

697
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:05,200
and it's called Final Fantasy 10 2.

698
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,360
So it's the sequel to Final Fantasy 10.

699
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,240
So it's Final Fantasy 10-2.

700
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,280
Maybe that's X.

701
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,000
What?

702
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,040
Like Apple, maybe they just don't allow for 10.

703
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:17,920
Wait, oh, Apple doesn't allow for 10?

704
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:24,360
No, you get like, the iPhone went 6, 7, 8, 9, X.

705
00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:26,360
Well, that's Roman numerals for 10.

706
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:28,040
No, but you can't call it 10.

707
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,040
They get mad if you call it 10.

708
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,120
I will call it 10.

709
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:31,520
Yeah, well, don't call, don't walk into an Apple Store.

710
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:32,680
Who's gonna get mad at me?

711
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:33,920
I'm saying, you walk into an Apple Store

712
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:34,840
and ask for an iPhone 10,

713
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,000
they're gonna look at you like an idiot.

714
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,760
I'm gonna walk into an Apple Store holding an orange.

715
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,440
I'm gonna ask for a fucking Apple 10.

716
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,440
Not even a specific product,

717
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,440
I just want an Apple 10.

718
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,360
That runs Linux.

719
00:26:50,360 --> 00:26:53,240
I want one of those fucking computers

720
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:55,840
that were transparent, bluish,

721
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,280
you know what I'm talking about?

722
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,160
The all-in-one buddy that came with it.

723
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,000
Yeah, I want one of those.

724
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,120
We had it in school, yeah.

725
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,400
I want one of the, what?

726
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:03,960
We had it in school, Mike?

727
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:04,800
I had it in school.

728
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:05,640
That's right, I had it in school.

729
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,320
No, wait, you had it in school?

730
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,320
No, Mike, Mike, Mike, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

731
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:13,240
You might have been aware that your children at some point

732
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:14,880
had these in school.

733
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:18,880
Michael, the computer, when you went to school,

734
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,160
the computers were the size of gymnasiums.

735
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:27,160
They took, it took 40 people to have it do calculator math.

736
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,880
We're running 17 times 47.

737
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,600
And it's punch cards coming up.

738
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:36,240
And you have a special lady at the end

739
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,480
that could read the punch numbers.

740
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,400
Yeah, Mike, going to the computer lab for you

741
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,000
was going to another building.

742
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,240
That is the computer lab.

743
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,360
That's not kids, I know we're all upset about JFK

744
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:50,520
getting assassinated, but you know.

745
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:51,800
I was gonna say that the school nurse

746
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,720
was also a switchboard operator.

747
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,480
Yeah, Mike, when you had to,

748
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:57,920
I bet you had a party line, didn't you,

749
00:27:57,920 --> 00:27:58,920
when you were growing up?

750
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,760
No, my grandmother had it at her house still, but.

751
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,240
You know how crazy party lines is?

752
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,320
Do you know about that? It's insane.

753
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,440
So back, so like, when phones,

754
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,080
before we had cell phones, obviously,

755
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,040
but when it was just landlines,

756
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,600
there were like rural areas.

757
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,920
And also, it also-

758
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,240
Downtown Dallas.

759
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,040
But the thing is, is like they had,

760
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,520
you'd have to share a phone line

761
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,040
with the rest of your building,

762
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,000
the rest of the people either

763
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,240
in your neighborhood or whatever.

764
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,200
But like, it's all just connected.

765
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,920
So you'd have to wait for someone

766
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,560
to finish talking or whatever,

767
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,560
and then pick up the phone and dial your whatever.

768
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,240
But people could hear your conversation and shit.

769
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,080
Like it's-

770
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:40,920
Oh God.

771
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,800
You would pick up the phone at my grandma's house,

772
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,440
I would pick up the phone if I wanted to call somebody,

773
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,160
and there could be somebody just talking.

774
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,360
It'd be like, I need to make a call to them.

775
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,440
Okay, I'll be off in five minutes.

776
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,480
Same thing as if you picked up another phone.

777
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,320
Wait five minutes.

778
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,320
Can you imagine?

779
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,080
Get off the fucking phone!

780
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:58,560
It has happened.

781
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,560
It was the teenage girls getting in big arguments over

782
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,280
party lines. You're talking about nothing.

783
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,320
Get off the phone.

784
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,240
Thanks for calling the, is David Cassidy,

785
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:11,040
was he a popular guy?

786
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,160
Sean Cassidy?

787
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,000
I was trying to think of like,

788
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:15,680
who was a hunk back in the day when you were young?

789
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:17,520
Who was your, who would you have a big crush on?

790
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,520
Who was the hunky boy that you liked when you were a teen?

791
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:22,960
Sean Cassidy?

792
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:25,400
Talking 70, so.

793
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,960
Yeah, I mean, I'm just, the joke is,

794
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,240
I'm just trying to think you pick up the party line

795
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:30,440
and it's one of those hotlines to-

796
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:31,600
Marlon Brando.

797
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,440
Yeah, thanks for calling one.

798
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,360
Those did not exist then.

799
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:37,200
900 numbers or 800s?

800
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,840
They didn't cross over 900 numbers and stuff in party lines.

801
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:40,760
Oh yeah, what am I talking about?

802
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,480
When you were growing up,

803
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,520
phone numbers were still just seven digits.

804
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:46,200
They didn't even have area codes yet.

805
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,360
They didn't need them.

806
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,520
I am making an old joke, but then at the same time,

807
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,720
this might be real.

808
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,960
You might've been around before area codes.

809
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,440
Now, you didn't have to dial them, but they exist.

810
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,280
And now there's only the dial long distance,

811
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,600
but long distance cost a fortune back then.

812
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:02,800
Oh yeah.

813
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,560
What do I-

814
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,560
Give me a shot, please.

815
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:07,640
Yeah.

816
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,440
So, now that we've talked about,

817
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:16,080
I guess Jackie Chan, I don't even know what that was.

818
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,200
So, first problematic thing, hopefully,

819
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:20,800
we're going to Ukraine, y'all.

820
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:21,640
That's what this movie takes place.

821
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:23,480
Ukraine, yeah.

822
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,320
Yeah, I'm gonna be honest.

823
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:30,320
This, my note, okay, I didn't watch this for the plot.

824
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:31,480
I'm gonna be honest with you.

825
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:32,320
That's a good call.

826
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,880
You're not supposed to watch it for the plot.

827
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,080
Yeah, I didn't, I'm gonna be honest with you.

828
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,080
Very convoluted.

829
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:37,920
Yeah, there's this-

830
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,640
These Jackie Chan movies, it's a formula,

831
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,040
and then they just add Jackie Chan to it.

832
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,600
This is where you get the goofy costumes,

833
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:45,800
and we're going here, we're going there,

834
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:46,920
and put this funny thing.

835
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,080
The one I really wanted to pick wasn't on 2B,

836
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:49,920
Rumble in the Bronx.

837
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,800
Oh yeah. That's a much better movie.

838
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:52,640
Rumble in the Bronx is great.

839
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,040
And it's got that stunt, where he breaks.

840
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,720
So, in Rumble in the Bronx, he jumps,

841
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,720
I think it's like a hundred and something feet

842
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:04,040
from a cliff to a hover boat, to a hovercraft,

843
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,040
like an actual hovercraft that they built.

844
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:06,880
Got ran over?

845
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,400
No, no, I don't know if-

846
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,240
Later.

847
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:10,080
Well, oh, okay.

848
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,240
In this one though, the jump, he breaks his ankle

849
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,200
when he lands, like he breaks his leg,

850
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,000
and they put a cast on it,

851
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:21,880
and he has the department make a rubber sleeve

852
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,480
that looks like his pant leg and shoe

853
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,200
to put over the cast, so that when filmed

854
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,320
from far enough away, you can't tell.

855
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:30,440
And he did the stunt again,

856
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,120
and that's the one they used in the movie.

857
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:33,840
He's broken every bone in his body,

858
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:37,040
and he's broken a lot of bones multiple times.

859
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,200
And this was when, in the 90s, when I heard this fact,

860
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,440
that he's broken every bone in his body.

861
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,480
That was in a book that my babysitter,

862
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,080
when I was probably like five or six years old,

863
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:52,000
so now, think about, he's probably broken even more

864
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
since then, because he never slowed down.

865
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,800
The 90s was not, like that was just going up

866
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:57,640
and up and up from Jack 10.

867
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,960
Oh, he'd get fucked up, and like every blooper

868
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,320
after every movie just shows him just-

869
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,680
That's like the best parts of his movies,

870
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,080
like the end part where you see all the work.

871
00:32:07,080 --> 00:32:08,840
I only want Jackie Chan bloopers.

872
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:09,680
I don't want it.

873
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:13,000
I think he's been working with the same crew of stuntmen

874
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,520
like his entire career, too.

875
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:15,520
He trained them.

876
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,800
Yeah, like they're like his protégés.

877
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,040
His little protégés, yeah, I saw a ceremony

878
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,320
where they were honoring him.

879
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,480
I think they're called the Jackie Chan

880
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,600
film martial arts school or something like that.

881
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,440
That's dope.

882
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:32,160
He's, I mean, obviously I think what we all love

883
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,040
about Jackie, what's made him stand out the most

884
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:38,480
is that the comedy that he adds to his fighting.

885
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:39,320
The facial expression.

886
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,760
The facial expression, the fact that he gets,

887
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,640
I remember I saw an interview with him once,

888
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,280
and he's like, you watch a fight,

889
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,560
and people get punched in the face,

890
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:48,520
and they don't really react,

891
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,200
and that's kind of boring or whatever,

892
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:55,200
but I wanted to be a guy that actually showed pain.

893
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,200
Like I wanted to get hit and show that it hurts,

894
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:01,240
and like make it funny in the same time,

895
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,400
and that works 100%.

896
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,560
You see someone get, like, yeah,

897
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,120
you wanna see when the ladder closes on his fingers

898
00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,440
that he's like, ah, fuck.

899
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,640
Is it weird for a grown man

900
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,120
to still watch Jackie Chan Adventures?

901
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:14,960
That was a good show.

902
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:15,800
It was a good show.

903
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:16,640
One-watching!

904
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:21,520
You can even play the game, the little GBA game

905
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,920
or whatever, the Game Boy Advance game.

906
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,800
So first 12 minutes, I just put boring, bad,

907
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,200
unfunny shenanigans.

908
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,200
I didn't care what the fuck was going on.

909
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,600
It's Jackie Chan following around some woman on an airplane.

910
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:34,720
She peed seven times.

911
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:35,560
Great.

912
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,800
And some of the worst dubbing I've ever seen.

913
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,320
Yeah, the dubbing is, this is some bad fucking dubbing.

914
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:42,160
It was awful.

915
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,040
Now, here's the thing.

916
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,720
Not, normally I have a pretty, like when I watch a movie,

917
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,160
I have a pretty set opinion after it, it won't change,

918
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:56,640
but knowing now that this is Police Story 4,

919
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,880
this could maybe change my grade.

920
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,920
This might actually now go from what was a D

921
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:12,880
to like a C plus, because from the perspective of

922
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:18,000
the Jackie Chan playing Jackie Chan, the cop,

923
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,560
no, no, sorry, he's Chan.

924
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:24,000
No, he's Jackie, they call him Jackie the whole time.

925
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,800
No, he's Inspector Chancock Huey or whatever,

926
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,040
but I guess the Americans we get, hey Jackie.

927
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,320
So stupid.

928
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:40,120
Okay, so we have world renowned police detective,

929
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,640
Inspector, whatever, Jackie Chan.

930
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:47,640
And he is so fucking dope that every country

931
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:52,320
in the fucking world wants him as their boy.

932
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,560
So anyway, he follows some Ukrainian,

933
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,880
it really doesn't matter, like the story.

934
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,320
It's just another mission, another feather

935
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,280
in Jackie Chan's Police Story hat.

936
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:07,480
You know old Jackie boy, how he do in this Police Story.

937
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,760
He's always saving the world.

938
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,440
If there's a story in police, he's the one in it,

939
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,160
you know what I'm talking about?

940
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:18,440
So then it gets to like the snow, right?

941
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:21,040
And of course you get like the funny Jackie Chan's cold,

942
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:24,080
he didn't dress appropriately, which doesn't.

943
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,640
So he's almost like the anti James Bond,

944
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,600
and I know he even mentions James Bond a couple of times.

945
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,320
Mike right now is handing me.

946
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,040
That's what AI makes out of this movie.

947
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:40,120
It makes sense, so Mike handed me a piece of paper.

948
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:43,680
Just real quick for the people listening at home,

949
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,440
which is everybody, or wherever you're listening.

950
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:51,440
Mike physically prints out on actual computer paper

951
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,440
AI images that he makes online.

952
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,880
He's the only person in the world that makes AI images

953
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,000
and then takes his home printer and prints out

954
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:06,760
those AI images and then takes to share with people.

955
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,600
I don't have the heart to tell him

956
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,760
there's a share function on his computer.

957
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:15,240
And thousands of ways we could connect online

958
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,840
in order for him to get these images to us

959
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:22,840
without killing trees, but he's a gray haired angel

960
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:25,520
and we'd be lost without him.

961
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:30,400
So this papery hands me is a Jackie Chan

962
00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:33,680
with a very, very smushed face.

963
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:38,680
And he is fighting two great white sharks in the snow.

964
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,040
One of them is flying through the air

965
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,400
with like a maple leaf in its mouth.

966
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:46,400
And the other one is Jackie is pushing away from him

967
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:47,760
and he's got legs.

968
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,040
The shark has legs.

969
00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:51,200
Printed in full color.

970
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,600
Printed, oh yeah, full color printing.

971
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,200
The amount of money.

972
00:36:57,660 --> 00:36:59,340
Right now, and this is true,

973
00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:04,340
computer ink costs more per liquid than blood.

974
00:37:04,340 --> 00:37:05,900
Than blood.

975
00:37:05,900 --> 00:37:07,580
Yeah.

976
00:37:07,580 --> 00:37:09,820
For Jackie Chan, for the prompt for this, Mike,

977
00:37:09,820 --> 00:37:13,460
did you just type in severely Down syndrome Asian man?

978
00:37:13,460 --> 00:37:16,780
Because oh my, and why is he like putting his hand

979
00:37:16,780 --> 00:37:19,940
like essentially around the shark's mouth?

980
00:37:19,940 --> 00:37:22,780
Yeah, he's sort of fisting that shark's mouth

981
00:37:22,780 --> 00:37:24,740
a little bit, it's weird.

982
00:37:24,740 --> 00:37:27,060
Yeah, you added some extra little,

983
00:37:27,060 --> 00:37:30,500
it's like Jackie Chan, sharks, snow,

984
00:37:30,500 --> 00:37:31,780
and then you put parentheses,

985
00:37:31,780 --> 00:37:33,580
but I really want him to fist that shark in the mouth,

986
00:37:33,580 --> 00:37:34,420
do what you can.

987
00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:35,700
Honestly, the way I make these,

988
00:37:35,700 --> 00:37:37,700
the ones that I do for here, that one,

989
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,760
is always nothing but the description of the movie.

990
00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:43,420
Yeah. Off IMDB.

991
00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:44,740
That's what it gives you if you put

992
00:37:44,740 --> 00:37:48,140
the description of the movie off IMDB.

993
00:37:48,140 --> 00:37:49,180
Yeah, that's insane.

994
00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:52,900
Three, yeah, okay.

995
00:37:52,900 --> 00:37:56,980
Oh, sorry, I was about to give away your rating.

996
00:37:56,980 --> 00:37:58,820
You wrote it right there on the top.

997
00:37:58,820 --> 00:38:01,620
Okay, so where were we?

998
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:05,100
Oh yeah, so we get to Jackie Chan in the snow

999
00:38:05,100 --> 00:38:06,660
and he's being silly, he can't,

1000
00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:08,420
he's too cold or whatever.

1001
00:38:08,420 --> 00:38:12,880
And I finally, I was like, okay, so the snow stuff is fun,

1002
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,820
like the him, you know, flying around,

1003
00:38:14,820 --> 00:38:18,020
but then we get those hidden little snow goons.

1004
00:38:18,980 --> 00:38:20,780
The whole time?

1005
00:38:20,780 --> 00:38:21,620
Yeah.

1006
00:38:21,620 --> 00:38:22,460
The whole, how long?

1007
00:38:22,460 --> 00:38:23,340
They were waiting.

1008
00:38:23,340 --> 00:38:25,020
Underneath that fucking.

1009
00:38:25,020 --> 00:38:26,420
That was smart, I saw the ground move

1010
00:38:26,420 --> 00:38:28,900
and I'm like, is that a movie flaw or is there like-

1011
00:38:28,900 --> 00:38:29,740
I did too.

1012
00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:33,300
But like before that, there's a Swiss bank

1013
00:38:33,300 --> 00:38:34,660
where they catch that chick at

1014
00:38:34,660 --> 00:38:37,780
and the name of the Swiss bank is just Swiss bank.

1015
00:38:39,940 --> 00:38:41,020
I didn't catch that.

1016
00:38:41,020 --> 00:38:41,860
That's funny.

1017
00:38:41,860 --> 00:38:42,780
Just Swiss bank.

1018
00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:44,460
And when Jackie Chan's going around the place

1019
00:38:44,460 --> 00:38:46,620
like surveilling, it's like, yeah,

1020
00:38:46,620 --> 00:38:48,180
tourist attraction, Asian guy,

1021
00:38:48,180 --> 00:38:50,180
wouldn't suspect them at all.

1022
00:38:50,180 --> 00:38:54,680
And I think of this Russian store they're at

1023
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,500
or Ukrainian store or whatever,

1024
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,140
I'm just like, you know, they got everything

1025
00:38:58,140 --> 00:39:00,100
from A to backwards R.

1026
00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:05,100
Oh yeah, okay, I like that one.

1027
00:39:06,220 --> 00:39:07,140
That's a thinker.

1028
00:39:08,820 --> 00:39:11,900
Terrorists are messaging each other on AOL messenger.

1029
00:39:11,900 --> 00:39:12,740
Yes.

1030
00:39:12,740 --> 00:39:14,100
It brought me back to one ranger,

1031
00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:15,720
that not Western Western.

1032
00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:19,940
This guy, the leader of terrorism or something,

1033
00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:21,700
you called him the king of terrorism.

1034
00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:22,540
Yeah.

1035
00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:25,900
I love the seal hat.

1036
00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:27,500
Oh, the one he wore?

1037
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:28,620
Yeah, in the snow.

1038
00:39:28,620 --> 00:39:29,460
In the snow.

1039
00:39:29,460 --> 00:39:30,300
Yeah.

1040
00:39:30,300 --> 00:39:32,020
And then those guys pop up, they shoot everyone, right?

1041
00:39:32,020 --> 00:39:35,060
And then the one guy, the one main guy goes to Jackie

1042
00:39:35,060 --> 00:39:37,020
and is like, don't move.

1043
00:39:37,020 --> 00:39:38,940
And then Jackie Chan moves a lot.

1044
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:39,780
Yeah.

1045
00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:40,600
That's what I wrote.

1046
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,040
Don't move, moves a lot.

1047
00:39:46,740 --> 00:39:50,460
Is this when they start the snowmobile slash

1048
00:39:52,060 --> 00:39:57,060
snowboarding, skiing, helicopter, ice, missile,

1049
00:39:57,060 --> 00:39:58,900
fight scene, correct?

1050
00:39:58,900 --> 00:39:59,940
Okay.

1051
00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:03,060
A staple in the police story franchise.

1052
00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:03,900
Epic.

1053
00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:06,780
Can't go a police story without at least one helicopter.

1054
00:40:06,780 --> 00:40:08,060
Without shooting a guy off a cliff.

1055
00:40:08,060 --> 00:40:08,900
Yeah.

1056
00:40:08,900 --> 00:40:09,720
Yeah.

1057
00:40:09,720 --> 00:40:10,560
It was epic.

1058
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:15,560
Like whoever, like the stunts on this are amazing.

1059
00:40:15,660 --> 00:40:16,580
It's always Jackie Chan here.

1060
00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:17,940
I love practical stunts.

1061
00:40:17,940 --> 00:40:20,740
Get away from the plot and just watch it for the stunts

1062
00:40:20,740 --> 00:40:23,140
and the comedy, the stunts and the comedies.

1063
00:40:23,140 --> 00:40:24,220
The stunts and the comedies.

1064
00:40:24,220 --> 00:40:27,360
There's not a single frame of CGI in this, I feel.

1065
00:40:28,780 --> 00:40:29,620
You know what I'm talking about?

1066
00:40:29,620 --> 00:40:31,100
Like, this is all.

1067
00:40:31,100 --> 00:40:31,940
Some of the sharks.

1068
00:40:31,940 --> 00:40:34,900
I'm guessing the sharks are probably CGI.

1069
00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:37,500
The sharks that they keep right next to the seal tank

1070
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:38,620
were very cleverly.

1071
00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:44,180
Also, there's just randomly a koala in his room.

1072
00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:45,340
Oh, that was awesome.

1073
00:40:45,340 --> 00:40:46,860
I'm like, does that count as a stunt?

1074
00:40:46,860 --> 00:40:49,140
Because from what I understand, koalas are fucking mean.

1075
00:40:49,140 --> 00:40:49,980
Yeah.

1076
00:40:49,980 --> 00:40:50,800
Are they really?

1077
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,580
As a kid they're called drop bears in Australia.

1078
00:40:52,580 --> 00:40:54,660
Yeah, fucking drop down fucked you up.

1079
00:40:54,660 --> 00:40:55,500
As a kid that scene.

1080
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,060
Drop bears, I like that.

1081
00:40:57,060 --> 00:40:57,900
Drop bear.

1082
00:40:57,900 --> 00:41:00,260
That scene made me want to go to Australia, sadly.

1083
00:41:00,260 --> 00:41:02,220
Oh, the koala in the room.

1084
00:41:02,220 --> 00:41:04,020
I was like, I want to go to Australia now.

1085
00:41:04,020 --> 00:41:04,940
Like, that seems cool.

1086
00:41:04,940 --> 00:41:05,780
Like, it seems friendly.

1087
00:41:05,780 --> 00:41:06,620
He's so cute.

1088
00:41:06,620 --> 00:41:08,100
It seems friendly, you know.

1089
00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:11,660
But then you find out in reality they're not friendly at all.

1090
00:41:11,660 --> 00:41:14,140
And then that guy, the main guy, the son

1091
00:41:14,140 --> 00:41:16,020
that everyone thinks is dead,

1092
00:41:16,020 --> 00:41:19,520
he shows up dressed as fucking Asian domer.

1093
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,180
Oh, you mean the blonde wig?

1094
00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:22,020
Yeah.

1095
00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:24,980
I'm gonna put Asian, the bad dude?

1096
00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:25,820
I don't know.

1097
00:41:25,820 --> 00:41:27,580
And blonde wig is the funniest thing

1098
00:41:27,580 --> 00:41:29,980
I've ever seen in my fucking life.

1099
00:41:29,980 --> 00:41:33,140
Oh, shark girl is hot, where's lava boy?

1100
00:41:35,060 --> 00:41:37,260
I don't care about anything else in this movie

1101
00:41:37,260 --> 00:41:38,700
except for that koala.

1102
00:41:38,700 --> 00:41:40,680
I would take a bullet for that cute ass thing

1103
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:41,900
is what I wrote.

1104
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:44,300
Jackie under the ice was very funny.

1105
00:41:44,300 --> 00:41:47,440
Sea lion, that was a fun scene.

1106
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:48,280
I really liked it.

1107
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:52,380
I liked that they had a Sea World trainer show moment

1108
00:41:52,380 --> 00:41:55,100
after where he goes bye bye and then the thing waves

1109
00:41:55,100 --> 00:41:57,660
and then he, it's like so fucking stupid.

1110
00:41:57,660 --> 00:42:01,220
It's like they had a trained sea lion on set

1111
00:42:01,220 --> 00:42:04,620
and they were like, well what else can we do?

1112
00:42:04,620 --> 00:42:06,180
That's what, okay, so this is,

1113
00:42:07,020 --> 00:42:09,180
if you think about this as a police story four

1114
00:42:09,180 --> 00:42:11,420
as opposed to Jackie Chan's first strike,

1115
00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:14,300
that makes more sense because it's like,

1116
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:17,160
we've seen police story do so many things

1117
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,860
over the last three movies.

1118
00:42:18,860 --> 00:42:22,300
Like it would, like if you saw James Bond,

1119
00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:24,900
what's, if you saw like a goofy James Bond movie,

1120
00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:27,660
you would expect him to have like a little high five

1121
00:42:27,660 --> 00:42:29,220
with the sea lion on the way out.

1122
00:42:29,220 --> 00:42:30,380
You know what I'm talking about like that?

1123
00:42:30,380 --> 00:42:31,420
It just kind of makes sense.

1124
00:42:31,420 --> 00:42:36,420
It's like a, it's a weird choice for an on its own movie.

1125
00:42:37,060 --> 00:42:41,220
It's a solid choice for a part four of a franchise movie

1126
00:42:41,220 --> 00:42:42,680
is what I'm saying.

1127
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,680
I, okay, you watch the first Fast and Furious movie,

1128
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:47,740
they go to space?

1129
00:42:47,740 --> 00:42:51,060
No, if you watched Fast and Furious one

1130
00:42:51,060 --> 00:42:54,140
and at some point Paul Walker and Vin Diesel

1131
00:42:54,140 --> 00:42:56,540
have to go to space for some fucking reason,

1132
00:42:57,580 --> 00:42:59,240
I don't buy it.

1133
00:42:59,240 --> 00:43:01,060
You put it 10 movies in?

1134
00:43:01,060 --> 00:43:01,900
Why not?

1135
00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:02,740
Yeah, fuck it, why not?

1136
00:43:02,740 --> 00:43:03,560
I don't give a shit.

1137
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,900
You underestimate the power of family, dude.

1138
00:43:05,900 --> 00:43:06,740
Yeah.

1139
00:43:08,580 --> 00:43:11,380
And in this you underestimate the power of Chandley.

1140
00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:15,100
That guy shows up and makes them like get out of the car

1141
00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:16,860
and then strip down to Kuala.

1142
00:43:16,860 --> 00:43:17,680
Oh, yep.

1143
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:18,900
And then he makes them take those off.

1144
00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:20,500
I thought he was gonna like take them and like kill them.

1145
00:43:20,500 --> 00:43:22,900
But like imagine if he succeeded in killing Jackie Chan.

1146
00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:24,140
They go search the car, they're like,

1147
00:43:24,140 --> 00:43:26,220
oh my God, he must be dead.

1148
00:43:26,220 --> 00:43:28,040
And then they pick up the Kuala underwear

1149
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,740
and gig I think as well.

1150
00:43:29,740 --> 00:43:33,780
I think you didn't need that much Kuala to cover up

1151
00:43:35,020 --> 00:43:36,260
the Jackie Chan's.

1152
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,420
I'm just saying.

1153
00:43:40,820 --> 00:43:42,860
I did put it was very funny, the Jackie,

1154
00:43:42,860 --> 00:43:45,500
naked Jackie, I love it.

1155
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:48,180
I like that they then immediately go,

1156
00:43:48,180 --> 00:43:50,180
we have to go somewhere quiet and private.

1157
00:43:50,180 --> 00:43:53,320
So let's just go to this kangaroo zoo, I guess.

1158
00:43:54,540 --> 00:43:57,780
Three or four wild ass little kangaroos in front of them.

1159
00:43:57,780 --> 00:44:01,620
A whole fenced off area of hundreds of kangaroos.

1160
00:44:01,620 --> 00:44:02,460
Am I wrong?

1161
00:44:02,460 --> 00:44:04,220
There was a shitload of just kangaroos, right?

1162
00:44:04,220 --> 00:44:05,540
Yeah, but this movie does that.

1163
00:44:05,540 --> 00:44:07,140
It does that thing.

1164
00:44:07,140 --> 00:44:09,140
How they go everywhere.

1165
00:44:09,140 --> 00:44:11,860
They go everywhere in like 36 hours.

1166
00:44:11,860 --> 00:44:12,860
Well, it's great.

1167
00:44:12,860 --> 00:44:13,700
It's a police story.

1168
00:44:13,700 --> 00:44:14,740
That's what I'm saying.

1169
00:44:14,740 --> 00:44:18,860
As a franchise, I could see in China,

1170
00:44:18,860 --> 00:44:21,180
this playing out like you watch the trailer

1171
00:44:21,180 --> 00:44:23,820
and it's just like, you love from the creators,

1172
00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:25,660
police story one through three,

1173
00:44:25,660 --> 00:44:27,580
your favorite cop is back.

1174
00:44:27,580 --> 00:44:30,220
And this time he's going international.

1175
00:44:30,220 --> 00:44:31,660
And it shows him in Ukraine

1176
00:44:31,660 --> 00:44:33,500
and it shows them in fucking Australia

1177
00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:35,060
and it shows them wherever.

1178
00:44:35,060 --> 00:44:38,900
There's literally Jackie Chan holding a Kuala bear

1179
00:44:38,900 --> 00:44:41,180
is why half of the Chinese population

1180
00:44:41,180 --> 00:44:44,540
went to go see police story four in theaters.

1181
00:44:44,540 --> 00:44:46,740
That's why this movie made $10 billion.

1182
00:44:46,740 --> 00:44:49,180
You always hear about how the Chinese education system

1183
00:44:49,180 --> 00:44:51,580
is so good, but if they think you can travel the world

1184
00:44:51,580 --> 00:44:53,020
in 36 hours.

1185
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:58,900
Well, wait, technically, if you just hopped on,

1186
00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:01,820
no, you could go, no, you can take-

1187
00:45:01,820 --> 00:45:02,660
Not in a submarine.

1188
00:45:02,660 --> 00:45:03,740
You can't do this.

1189
00:45:03,740 --> 00:45:06,140
You cannot do what's in this movie.

1190
00:45:06,140 --> 00:45:09,260
I like how they landed from a helicopter to a submarine

1191
00:45:09,260 --> 00:45:12,260
to a boat's going to take them into town.

1192
00:45:12,260 --> 00:45:13,300
Yeah, I love it.

1193
00:45:13,300 --> 00:45:16,180
It's almost like if Jackie Chan did a move,

1194
00:45:16,180 --> 00:45:18,180
like did around the world in 80 days or something.

1195
00:45:18,180 --> 00:45:20,220
Yeah, in three days.

1196
00:45:20,220 --> 00:45:21,060
In three days.

1197
00:45:21,060 --> 00:45:22,420
Every time he gets to a big choreographed-

1198
00:45:22,420 --> 00:45:23,260
In three days.

1199
00:45:23,260 --> 00:45:24,080
In three days.

1200
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:24,920
Fight scene.

1201
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:26,740
Every time he gets to a big choreographed fight scene,

1202
00:45:26,740 --> 00:45:28,500
you kind of forget all the ridiculousness of everything else.

1203
00:45:28,500 --> 00:45:29,340
Oh, immediately.

1204
00:45:29,340 --> 00:45:30,620
Like, this is why we're here.

1205
00:45:30,620 --> 00:45:31,460
This is why we're here.

1206
00:45:31,460 --> 00:45:32,300
Immediately, cause then it's like-

1207
00:45:32,300 --> 00:45:34,140
That doesn't make it less enjoyable for sure.

1208
00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:37,140
No, for sure, but this is police story four.

1209
00:45:37,140 --> 00:45:39,380
The whole rooftop chase.

1210
00:45:39,380 --> 00:45:41,740
Yeah, I literally put big goon fight,

1211
00:45:41,740 --> 00:45:44,540
finally a good fight scene, sort of,

1212
00:45:44,540 --> 00:45:46,500
because he doesn't really fight them.

1213
00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:49,620
It's more of a really good runaway scene.

1214
00:45:49,620 --> 00:45:52,860
And he has another really good runaway scene later too.

1215
00:45:52,860 --> 00:45:54,580
He ruined those people's relationships,

1216
00:45:54,580 --> 00:45:55,420
those ladies taking up-

1217
00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:57,540
Yeah, oh my God, I wrote that down.

1218
00:45:57,540 --> 00:46:00,420
LOL, the husband asking who Jackie is.

1219
00:46:00,420 --> 00:46:03,620
Jackie ruined their fucking marriage is what I wrote down.

1220
00:46:03,620 --> 00:46:04,460
And then I also-

1221
00:46:04,460 --> 00:46:05,660
Done, because okay, if you're listening,

1222
00:46:05,660 --> 00:46:07,900
if you didn't see, if you haven't seen in a while,

1223
00:46:07,900 --> 00:46:09,900
Jackie Chan does the typical,

1224
00:46:09,900 --> 00:46:11,620
all right, I'm hanging off the side of a building.

1225
00:46:11,620 --> 00:46:15,020
I need to go through this window or whatever.

1226
00:46:15,020 --> 00:46:16,300
There's a woman in a bathtub.

1227
00:46:16,300 --> 00:46:20,100
She gets out, no titties, sorry Mike, this is for families.

1228
00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:25,100
And she, he, what does he say, I'm the decorator?

1229
00:46:25,860 --> 00:46:27,060
Yeah, I'm the laundry guy.

1230
00:46:27,060 --> 00:46:27,900
I'm the laundry guy.

1231
00:46:27,900 --> 00:46:28,740
She's like, who are you?

1232
00:46:28,740 --> 00:46:30,020
I'm the laundry guy.

1233
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:32,820
He takes the jacket and I wrote Jacket Jan.

1234
00:46:32,820 --> 00:46:33,820
Jacket Jan.

1235
00:46:34,860 --> 00:46:38,380
Jacking jacket, Jackie Jacking Jacket Jan.

1236
00:46:40,620 --> 00:46:42,260
So he, and then on the way out,

1237
00:46:42,260 --> 00:46:44,980
the husband comes in, who the hell are you?

1238
00:46:44,980 --> 00:46:46,900
Wait, what, it's Australian.

1239
00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:48,300
Who the hell are you, mate?

1240
00:46:48,300 --> 00:46:49,940
And he goes, I'm the laundry guy.

1241
00:46:49,940 --> 00:46:52,220
The laundry guy, Karen!

1242
00:46:52,220 --> 00:46:54,020
And I like turns to her, yeah.

1243
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:55,380
Beats her, beats her ass.

1244
00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:56,220
LOL, war!

1245
00:46:58,460 --> 00:47:01,300
So okay, realistically, if you're that man,

1246
00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:02,340
let's just be for a second.

1247
00:47:02,340 --> 00:47:04,260
Let's all be that Australian man.

1248
00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:07,420
Let's say, I guess he was coming home from work.

1249
00:47:07,420 --> 00:47:08,660
That's not the vibe I got.

1250
00:47:08,660 --> 00:47:10,140
The vibe I got is like he was going

1251
00:47:10,140 --> 00:47:12,620
from like the kitchen into the hallway.

1252
00:47:12,620 --> 00:47:16,260
So let's assume you're in your apartment.

1253
00:47:16,260 --> 00:47:18,540
You've been in your apartment now for several hours.

1254
00:47:18,540 --> 00:47:20,140
Your wife has taken a bath.

1255
00:47:20,140 --> 00:47:22,420
You're in the kitchen getting something to eat.

1256
00:47:22,420 --> 00:47:24,060
You then hear a commotion.

1257
00:47:24,060 --> 00:47:25,660
Your wife is startled.

1258
00:47:25,660 --> 00:47:27,140
She comes out in her towel.

1259
00:47:27,140 --> 00:47:30,140
Then you see a fully dressed Asian man

1260
00:47:30,140 --> 00:47:32,060
running out of your fucking,

1261
00:47:32,060 --> 00:47:32,900
you go, who the fuck are you?

1262
00:47:32,900 --> 00:47:35,220
And he goes, I'm the laundry guy.

1263
00:47:35,220 --> 00:47:38,140
I wouldn't then accuse my wife of cheating.

1264
00:47:38,140 --> 00:47:39,340
Not my first move.

1265
00:47:39,340 --> 00:47:41,860
I would, jokingly.

1266
00:47:41,860 --> 00:47:44,500
And I would tease her about it for the rest of her life.

1267
00:47:44,500 --> 00:47:46,300
I would, well, because of course she'd be like,

1268
00:47:46,300 --> 00:47:47,740
no, they came in through the window, right?

1269
00:47:47,740 --> 00:47:50,340
And I would believe her because I'd be like, wow,

1270
00:47:50,340 --> 00:47:53,740
it's a weird move to try to cheat on me

1271
00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:55,060
while you're in the house.

1272
00:47:55,060 --> 00:47:56,100
And I'm home.

1273
00:47:56,100 --> 00:47:59,340
I'm home and the guy's fully clothed.

1274
00:47:59,340 --> 00:48:01,060
Like weird move, Karen,

1275
00:48:01,060 --> 00:48:03,060
but I guess if that's how you wanna do it,

1276
00:48:03,060 --> 00:48:06,780
I'll go fuck your sister, I guess.

1277
00:48:06,780 --> 00:48:10,700
You know, like when we're at your next family reunion

1278
00:48:10,700 --> 00:48:11,980
on the table, I guess.

1279
00:48:11,980 --> 00:48:13,540
I don't know, what are we doing, Karen?

1280
00:48:13,540 --> 00:48:16,420
Nah, then those goons came in and just murder both of them.

1281
00:48:16,420 --> 00:48:18,780
Oh yeah, they came out, no witnesses.

1282
00:48:18,780 --> 00:48:20,060
Just snap, snap.

1283
00:48:21,140 --> 00:48:23,180
Fucking raped their corpses.

1284
00:48:23,180 --> 00:48:25,540
This movie's dark when Jackie's not around.

1285
00:48:25,540 --> 00:48:28,220
Jackie just leaves a trail of fucking destruction

1286
00:48:28,220 --> 00:48:29,060
in his wake.

1287
00:48:29,060 --> 00:48:31,660
That's the real police story legacy.

1288
00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:33,860
It's all these countries Jackie visits.

1289
00:48:33,860 --> 00:48:35,540
He just fucking ruins.

1290
00:48:35,540 --> 00:48:38,620
That ski resort that he fucked up with his snowmobile

1291
00:48:38,620 --> 00:48:41,460
or whatever, all the damages he caused.

1292
00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:42,940
All those people lost their jobs.

1293
00:48:42,940 --> 00:48:44,140
All of them lost their jobs.

1294
00:48:44,140 --> 00:48:47,020
The guy that owned that ski resort had to sell it

1295
00:48:47,020 --> 00:48:48,140
to the Chinese government.

1296
00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:51,100
Why were there signs at the ski resort that says,

1297
00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:53,420
we'll fucking shoot you if you come over here?

1298
00:48:53,420 --> 00:48:54,740
It's just for kids.

1299
00:48:54,740 --> 00:48:56,780
Just for kids, I forgot about that.

1300
00:48:56,780 --> 00:48:58,660
Children with murder.

1301
00:48:58,660 --> 00:49:00,620
Hey, I've got a sign that says I'm gonna get shot

1302
00:49:00,620 --> 00:49:01,900
if I go through here.

1303
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:03,460
No, just tell them to go through.

1304
00:49:03,460 --> 00:49:04,460
It's just for children.

1305
00:49:04,460 --> 00:49:07,260
Yeah, that means that, okay, if you...

1306
00:49:07,260 --> 00:49:10,380
If you're over four feet tall, you don't get shot.

1307
00:49:10,380 --> 00:49:14,020
But there's one month, there's a sick, sick motherfucker

1308
00:49:14,020 --> 00:49:14,860
out there.

1309
00:49:14,860 --> 00:49:16,700
There's just sharp shooters out there.

1310
00:49:16,700 --> 00:49:18,980
There's a guy at the ski resort that's like,

1311
00:49:18,980 --> 00:49:21,060
if you see any fucking kids, shoot them.

1312
00:49:21,060 --> 00:49:23,060
You see any adults, it's fine.

1313
00:49:23,060 --> 00:49:24,740
It's a private property.

1314
00:49:24,740 --> 00:49:26,940
There's a group of gentlemen.

1315
00:49:26,940 --> 00:49:29,780
They're legally allowed to shoot anyone that trespasses.

1316
00:49:30,620 --> 00:49:33,260
I guess technically we're not allowed to tell them

1317
00:49:33,260 --> 00:49:36,380
that they're allowed to discriminate who they shoot.

1318
00:49:36,380 --> 00:49:39,860
So they've taken upon themselves to only kill children.

1319
00:49:39,860 --> 00:49:41,100
We put up signages.

1320
00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:42,580
I don't know what you want.

1321
00:49:42,580 --> 00:49:43,900
Like, this is the world we live in.

1322
00:49:43,900 --> 00:49:44,740
We warned them.

1323
00:49:44,740 --> 00:49:45,820
Welcome to Ukraine.

1324
00:49:48,020 --> 00:49:53,020
Okay, so then it goes to, oh, the homeless scene

1325
00:49:53,260 --> 00:49:55,100
where he has to spend the night.

1326
00:49:55,100 --> 00:49:57,180
And he's in that little cubby.

1327
00:49:57,180 --> 00:49:59,700
That guy goes, get the fuck out of my cubby.

1328
00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:00,620
How about this one?

1329
00:50:00,620 --> 00:50:01,460
Is this free?

1330
00:50:01,460 --> 00:50:02,620
Yeah, the guy's on vacation.

1331
00:50:02,620 --> 00:50:04,700
And he falls asleep in there.

1332
00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:06,380
It's pretty funny.

1333
00:50:06,380 --> 00:50:11,380
Then they have a really good fight in the museum dojo.

1334
00:50:12,900 --> 00:50:14,500
Oh, with Asian John Wick?

1335
00:50:14,500 --> 00:50:16,020
Yeah, what is that place?

1336
00:50:17,460 --> 00:50:20,420
Museum, dojo, warehouse?

1337
00:50:20,420 --> 00:50:21,260
Is it though?

1338
00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:22,100
Hideaway.

1339
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:24,260
It's a hideout, yeah.

1340
00:50:24,260 --> 00:50:25,100
Is it though?

1341
00:50:25,100 --> 00:50:26,820
They were like a gang.

1342
00:50:26,820 --> 00:50:28,660
No, no, no, guys, I really want you to like-

1343
00:50:28,660 --> 00:50:29,780
They're like an Asian gang.

1344
00:50:29,780 --> 00:50:31,580
No, I get that they're an Asian gang.

1345
00:50:31,580 --> 00:50:33,740
Maybe it was their sweatshop, I don't know.

1346
00:50:33,740 --> 00:50:34,900
The kids were just off that day.

1347
00:50:34,900 --> 00:50:36,380
I think-

1348
00:50:36,380 --> 00:50:37,220
That's gay.

1349
00:50:37,220 --> 00:50:38,940
If this is their sweatshop, no, no,

1350
00:50:38,940 --> 00:50:40,980
because like, seriously.

1351
00:50:40,980 --> 00:50:42,620
Oh, wait, oh, no, copyright.

1352
00:50:43,820 --> 00:50:46,300
Ah, copyright, all right.

1353
00:50:46,300 --> 00:50:48,700
Just real quick, this-

1354
00:50:49,940 --> 00:50:51,460
The stilt scene was great.

1355
00:50:51,460 --> 00:50:53,180
Oh yeah, the fucking stilt scene.

1356
00:50:53,180 --> 00:50:55,740
Just kicked the two guys, that was awesome.

1357
00:50:55,740 --> 00:50:56,580
Is it this?

1358
00:50:56,580 --> 00:50:57,940
No, it's after this.

1359
00:50:57,940 --> 00:50:58,780
Okay.

1360
00:50:59,980 --> 00:51:01,780
This whole fucking, all right.

1361
00:51:02,620 --> 00:51:03,540
Where is this?

1362
00:51:03,540 --> 00:51:04,380
Please tell me.

1363
00:51:04,380 --> 00:51:05,580
Their house.

1364
00:51:05,580 --> 00:51:08,220
Okay, no, look, that's a huge property, right?

1365
00:51:08,220 --> 00:51:09,180
There's horses of shit.

1366
00:51:09,180 --> 00:51:12,540
There's like, this is, see, okay, it's got a sign,

1367
00:51:12,540 --> 00:51:13,860
but it's not telling us what it is.

1368
00:51:13,860 --> 00:51:15,900
It's got huge, big double doors that you open up.

1369
00:51:15,900 --> 00:51:18,380
There's a Chinese dragon strewn apart.

1370
00:51:18,380 --> 00:51:19,220
The sign might-

1371
00:51:19,220 --> 00:51:20,420
There's chairs everywhere.

1372
00:51:20,420 --> 00:51:21,980
I might tell you what it is, we just can't read.

1373
00:51:21,980 --> 00:51:22,940
We can't.

1374
00:51:22,940 --> 00:51:25,540
This looks like a, okay, it looks like a convention hall.

1375
00:51:25,540 --> 00:51:26,380
Like a-

1376
00:51:26,380 --> 00:51:27,300
Yeah, it looks like maybe they're getting ready

1377
00:51:27,300 --> 00:51:28,260
for something. A banquet hall.

1378
00:51:28,260 --> 00:51:30,980
This is something you would rent out for Chinese parties.

1379
00:51:30,980 --> 00:51:33,300
They're planning the wake for the, you know,

1380
00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:34,900
soon to be here.

1381
00:51:34,900 --> 00:51:37,660
Got it, and they're counting all their money out?

1382
00:51:37,660 --> 00:51:39,620
Like, so, that's what's throwing me off,

1383
00:51:39,620 --> 00:51:40,620
is like, this looks like a-

1384
00:51:40,620 --> 00:51:42,460
Open door with the money on the table.

1385
00:51:42,460 --> 00:51:43,300
Yeah.

1386
00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:48,300
Hi, we'd like to rent out hall B for a gang meeting.

1387
00:51:48,700 --> 00:51:49,660
A money laundering operation.

1388
00:51:49,660 --> 00:51:51,900
A money laundering operation, please.

1389
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:54,100
Oh, you'd like the Chinese dragon room, okay?

1390
00:51:54,100 --> 00:51:56,340
That's perfect for these sort of illicit affairs.

1391
00:51:56,340 --> 00:52:00,060
Like several ladders and weapons strewn about.

1392
00:52:00,060 --> 00:52:00,900
Yeah.

1393
00:52:02,900 --> 00:52:04,340
The mop head, don't please.

1394
00:52:04,340 --> 00:52:07,580
Some cranes in the background, would be nice.

1395
00:52:07,580 --> 00:52:10,860
And then just some random fucking dude in the background.

1396
00:52:10,860 --> 00:52:12,260
I don't think he fights Jackie.

1397
00:52:12,260 --> 00:52:13,100
He's the accountant, he's like,

1398
00:52:13,100 --> 00:52:15,060
I think he's like, why do I do this?

1399
00:52:15,060 --> 00:52:16,380
This guy's not gonna come fight Jackie.

1400
00:52:16,380 --> 00:52:17,660
My daughter needs to go to school,

1401
00:52:17,660 --> 00:52:19,500
I gotta keep doing this.

1402
00:52:19,500 --> 00:52:22,420
Why couldn't I just be a straight, regular accountant?

1403
00:52:22,420 --> 00:52:24,020
Why do I gotta work for the mob?

1404
00:52:24,020 --> 00:52:26,580
Why'd I have to say yes?

1405
00:52:26,580 --> 00:52:27,900
My wife's friend?

1406
00:52:27,900 --> 00:52:29,300
I don't know, it doesn't matter, all right.

1407
00:52:29,300 --> 00:52:30,700
That's the dude from Ozark.

1408
00:52:32,340 --> 00:52:34,260
He's trying to figure out that whole sign

1409
00:52:34,260 --> 00:52:36,580
and you crane thing for the kids.

1410
00:52:36,580 --> 00:52:37,420
Yeah.

1411
00:52:37,420 --> 00:52:38,740
He's the sign maker.

1412
00:52:39,900 --> 00:52:44,900
So, we get a very cool fight, iconic, the ladder fight.

1413
00:52:45,100 --> 00:52:46,980
I think this is the one that stuck out of my head.

1414
00:52:46,980 --> 00:52:50,660
I remember once he got put in the yellow suit.

1415
00:52:50,660 --> 00:52:51,500
Black and yellow.

1416
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:53,740
Black and yellow, and then once he picked up that ladder,

1417
00:52:53,740 --> 00:52:56,100
I was like, yeah, I have seen this as a kid.

1418
00:52:56,100 --> 00:52:57,100
I remember this now.

1419
00:52:58,100 --> 00:53:01,380
I say that, but then he's probably wearing,

1420
00:53:01,380 --> 00:53:03,820
you know what, now that I think about it,

1421
00:53:03,820 --> 00:53:07,020
I think he replicates that scene in another movie.

1422
00:53:07,020 --> 00:53:08,700
I think he puts on yellow and black,

1423
00:53:08,700 --> 00:53:11,460
and I think he fights a group of people with a ladder,

1424
00:53:11,460 --> 00:53:17,460
and I think he does it as an homage to Police Story 4.

1425
00:53:17,460 --> 00:53:19,260
I don't know, is it Who Am I?

1426
00:53:21,260 --> 00:53:22,100
I don't remember.

1427
00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:22,940
I remember that.

1428
00:53:22,940 --> 00:53:26,020
Another sequel, Police Story 5 by Fred Rezmock.

1429
00:53:26,020 --> 00:53:27,780
Well, I wouldn't do a Police Story 5.

1430
00:53:27,780 --> 00:53:30,980
I would do a Police Story 4, First Strike 2.

1431
00:53:30,980 --> 00:53:31,820
There we go.

1432
00:53:31,820 --> 00:53:32,660
So.

1433
00:53:32,660 --> 00:53:35,380
Oh, and the subtitle, the subtitle is Super Cops.

1434
00:53:35,380 --> 00:53:36,220
Super Cops.

1435
00:53:37,380 --> 00:53:38,400
Super Cops.

1436
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:42,000
Because then I would want a Police Story 4,

1437
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,080
First Strike 2, Super Cops 2.

1438
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:45,280
Yeah, they should have just added an S

1439
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:46,840
when he went to the buddy comedies later.

1440
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:47,680
They should have just added an S.

1441
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:48,840
Should have been Super Cops.

1442
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,000
Everybody should do that.

1443
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,160
If you're listening and you're a movie producer,

1444
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:57,160
follow what Alien did, because Alien, the first one,

1445
00:53:57,400 --> 00:54:00,000
and then Aliens, the second one,

1446
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,360
is the smartest fucking titles ever.

1447
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,400
You know what's the dumbest fucking title ever?

1448
00:54:05,400 --> 00:54:09,160
You know what the dumbest sequel title of all fucking time

1449
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:10,000
is?

1450
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:11,900
They come out with a movie called Now You See Me,

1451
00:54:11,900 --> 00:54:14,080
and then you know what they don't call the second one?

1452
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,440
Now you don't.

1453
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:16,280
You know what they call it?

1454
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,320
Now You See Me 2.

1455
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,600
Who the fuck came up with that bullshit?

1456
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,280
That wasn't magical.

1457
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:25,260
The magic was ruined with that.

1458
00:54:25,260 --> 00:54:26,640
Like, stupid.

1459
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,960
And Aliens is still doing it.

1460
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:29,800
Yeah.

1461
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:30,960
Maybe someone trademarked that name

1462
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:32,640
and just didn't do anything with it.

1463
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:35,200
The new one that's coming out next year or whatever

1464
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,800
is still Aliens.

1465
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:37,920
That's coming out in a couple weeks.

1466
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:38,760
Oh, whatever.

1467
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:43,000
You know Nick Swartz's website is nickswartzson.net,

1468
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,560
and that's because somebody took nickswartzson.com

1469
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:47,160
and they're not doing anything with it?

1470
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:48,640
That's cool.

1471
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:50,960
He probably didn't offer enough money for it.

1472
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,280
You can probably get it from him for like $30.

1473
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:54,440
I'll give you a, yeah.

1474
00:54:57,840 --> 00:54:59,080
Don't steal our website.

1475
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:02,320
I think we've got both comment in it.

1476
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:07,320
So we have the Museum Dojo Conference Hall B fight.

1477
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,080
We have the Iconic Ladder fight.

1478
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,360
And then yeah, Chinese funerals in Australia

1479
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,160
sure are weird looking.

1480
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:18,000
They're lit.

1481
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,200
They're fucking lit, bro.

1482
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:22,680
Like hey, Australia, do you happen to have a bunch

1483
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:26,440
of Chinese dragons, a bunch of Chinese decorations?

1484
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:27,880
Great, do you have stilts?

1485
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:28,800
You got a lot of stilts?

1486
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,520
We need stilts.

1487
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:31,360
What's that?

1488
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:32,180
White umbrellas.

1489
00:55:32,180 --> 00:55:33,440
White umbrellas, perfect.

1490
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:37,160
So we have a bunch of weird fucking scenes.

1491
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:41,360
It looks like a circuit delay, what's it called?

1492
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:42,440
Cirque de Soleil.

1493
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:43,560
Cirque de Soleil.

1494
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:46,120
I call that scene the Chinese standoff

1495
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:48,080
because that's exactly what it is.

1496
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:50,600
There's so much China around you

1497
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,200
and there is a standoff with hostages and shit.

1498
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:54,440
Oh, I thought you were calling it a standoff

1499
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,840
because he's standing on the stilts.

1500
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,240
Another reason why it's a Chinese standoff?

1501
00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:04,240
He literally kicks a motherfucker on a second story balcony

1502
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,680
with his stilt kick, amazing.

1503
00:56:10,680 --> 00:56:12,980
I just put stilt kick, so good.

1504
00:56:14,620 --> 00:56:17,080
Then there's a bunch of snipers on the roof

1505
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:23,000
and he's talking to the Asian guy that wore the wig

1506
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:24,960
or he's talking to the Russian dudes.

1507
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:28,480
Anyway, there's a bunch of guns trained on him

1508
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:33,480
and he somehow got everyone together previously

1509
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:38,900
and is like, when I give you no signal whatsoever,

1510
00:56:38,900 --> 00:56:41,400
I need you guys to just be ready

1511
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:43,880
to block bullets with your umbrellas.

1512
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:45,720
And people are like, what, what was that?

1513
00:56:45,720 --> 00:56:46,600
No, no, I just, no, no, just,

1514
00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:48,440
I need you guys to open up your umbrellas.

1515
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:49,440
But why?

1516
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,880
Because.

1517
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:52,400
Bulletproof umbrellas, you know?

1518
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:53,240
No, that's what it'd be funny.

1519
00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:54,880
It's like, why are we gonna do this, Jackie?

1520
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:57,560
We'll follow you into the ends of earth.

1521
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:00,400
Your police story for Jackie Chan.

1522
00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:01,560
Put these stilts on.

1523
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:06,560
Yeah, put these stilts, stilted Jackie just walks over

1524
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,400
to him hovering above them and he says,

1525
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,680
I need you guys to just, when I wink at you or whatever.

1526
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,560
And then, yeah, bulletproof umbrellas.

1527
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:16,640
There's, yeah.

1528
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:19,880
If those guys just opened up fire, right?

1529
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:25,560
Is the blonde haired Asian guy,

1530
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:26,720
I know he's not blonde at this point,

1531
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,880
but I can't ever not see him with that fucking

1532
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,320
Dr. Wig, Dr. Costume.

1533
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:32,160
Is he the bad guy?

1534
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:33,000
No.

1535
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:34,840
I still don't know what the fuck is happening.

1536
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:38,920
I know that Jackie Chan followed a Ukrainian woman around.

1537
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:40,960
She peed seven times on an airplane.

1538
00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:44,120
And then I know that the Australian government,

1539
00:57:44,120 --> 00:57:48,840
with help of Russia, with the okay of the Chinese government,

1540
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,440
allowed Jackie to go to Australia

1541
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:56,640
where he meets Shark Girl and Lava Boy.

1542
00:57:56,640 --> 00:58:01,640
And her dad is someone.

1543
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:06,320
And he lies to her and says, and then he goes, I'm a cop.

1544
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,040
And the dad dies a little bit later.

1545
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,480
I think Asian Dahmer had the uranium core

1546
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,240
for some kind of nuclear missile or whatever.

1547
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:17,080
And-

1548
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,000
I must have missed all that.

1549
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,600
He wanted the money.

1550
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:22,680
Everyone thinks Jackie Chan killed him,

1551
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:26,240
but he's just been hiding, disguised as Jeffrey Dahmer.

1552
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,360
Yeah.

1553
00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:30,360
After that fight scene at the museum hall, B, whatever,

1554
00:58:31,360 --> 00:58:33,160
they all thought that he killed him.

1555
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,040
And then he's like, wait until the fight's over

1556
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,400
to be like, hey, he didn't kill me.

1557
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:38,240
I think the best-

1558
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:39,080
Well, it was the dad.

1559
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:39,920
Yeah.

1560
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:42,160
I think the best analogy though is what you said earlier

1561
00:58:42,160 --> 00:58:44,080
about Fast and the Furious.

1562
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:45,280
That's what this is.

1563
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:46,520
It's just Fast and the Furious.

1564
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,680
It's just, the plot doesn't matter.

1565
00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:52,840
Yeah, and trust me, as an avid police story fan,

1566
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:56,320
because look, I'll watch police story.

1567
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,240
I watch police story one every,

1568
00:58:58,240 --> 00:58:59,640
when I wake up every morning.

1569
00:59:01,160 --> 00:59:03,720
And if I don't get through super cops too,

1570
00:59:05,360 --> 00:59:07,000
by the time I go to bed at night,

1571
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,080
I haven't done my day's service.

1572
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,160
You know what I'm talking about?

1573
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:14,080
I live by the Chan and die by the Chan.

1574
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:16,120
I don't care.

1575
00:59:17,040 --> 00:59:17,880
But anything else?

1576
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:21,080
The news report after the whole fiasco

1577
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,000
at the Chinatown, whatever,

1578
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:28,840
she says, this is marking the biggest gang war

1579
00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:31,560
in Chinatown in Australia.

1580
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,560
And I'm like, wait, there's other gang wars in Chinatown?

1581
00:59:36,760 --> 00:59:38,720
Always gang wars in Chinatown.

1582
00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:42,800
You know, just going back real quick

1583
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:46,480
on the fact that I watched nothing but Jack Chan movies.

1584
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:49,720
I wanna give you one guess

1585
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:51,400
what I like to watch at lunchtime.

1586
00:59:52,800 --> 00:59:53,760
Shanghai Noon.

1587
00:59:55,760 --> 00:59:57,800
And then when I get ready to go to bed,

1588
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:00,680
I watch Shanghai Nights.

1589
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,560
And then when I really, really wanna get introspective.

1590
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:05,760
It's actually police story five and six.

1591
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:06,600
They are.

1592
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:07,440
Yeah.

1593
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:09,760
When you're stuck in traffic, do you watch Rush Hour?

1594
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:10,600
Yeah, I do.

1595
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,960
When I'm feeling introspective, I watch Who Am I?

1596
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:18,680
When I'm in New York, it's Rumble in the Bronx.

1597
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:22,480
And then when I'm...

1598
01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:24,440
Drinking Drunken Master.

1599
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:25,280
Yeah.

1600
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:28,160
Drunken Master 2, one, four.

1601
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:33,000
And then when I'm going to a formal occasion,

1602
01:00:33,000 --> 01:00:34,440
I'm the tuxedo.

1603
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:37,960
Forgot about that one.

1604
01:00:40,960 --> 01:00:41,800
Or...

1605
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:43,440
Kung Fu Panda, I don't know.

1606
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:45,720
I blocked out Around the World in 80 Days.

1607
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,520
Yeah, that's what I said earlier.

1608
01:00:47,520 --> 01:00:50,840
That movie was a race for my brain.

1609
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:51,680
Remember that one?

1610
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:53,840
He did Around the World in 80 Days.

1611
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,000
Oh God, I don't even think I watched that one.

1612
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,760
Yeah, that was such a bad movie.

1613
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,200
I mean, we love you, Jackie.

1614
01:01:02,840 --> 01:01:03,880
I wish we did more stuff.

1615
01:01:03,880 --> 01:01:06,800
Well, real quick, who's better, Jackie or Jet Li?

1616
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:09,160
I would say I like Jackie way more.

1617
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:10,720
Jackie's way more likeable.

1618
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,800
But Jet Li, I think, is a better martial artist.

1619
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:15,800
He can do more serious stuff, too.

1620
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:17,200
Was it any of The Matrix?

1621
01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:18,040
No.

1622
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:18,880
Was that not him?

1623
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:20,000
You were thinking of The One.

1624
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:21,920
Yeah, Jet Li.

1625
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:23,080
Jet Li has more serious movies.

1626
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:24,920
That's the one with Sean William Scott, wasn't it?

1627
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:25,760
He's The One?

1628
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:26,600
No.

1629
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:27,440
Jet Li?

1630
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:28,280
Yeah, I think that was the medallion.

1631
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:31,200
You're thinking, okay, wow, racist motherfucker.

1632
01:01:31,200 --> 01:01:32,520
You're thinking Bulletproof Monk.

1633
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:34,600
But that was Donnie Yen?

1634
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:36,880
No, that's Chao Young Phat.

1635
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:39,720
So Chao Young Phat is...

1636
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:40,560
Chao Young Phat is...

1637
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:44,800
Sorry, I'm not up to date with my martial artist movies.

1638
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:45,640
Hold on, real quick.

1639
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:48,720
And I'm sorry that somehow that is all in your head.

1640
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:50,160
He's not looking any of that up.

1641
01:01:50,160 --> 01:01:55,160
Some of us don't watch the police fucking franchise,

1642
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:58,240
police story franchise when they wake up.

1643
01:01:58,240 --> 01:01:59,080
I don't watch it.

1644
01:01:59,080 --> 01:01:59,920
No wonder we're not getting anything

1645
01:01:59,920 --> 01:02:01,800
uploaded to YouTube, dude.

1646
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,320
I live it.

1647
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:04,960
Watch a fucking police story all day.

1648
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:05,800
It's police story one.

1649
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:07,120
And every other kung fu movie ever made.

1650
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:11,120
Police story two, and then police story three, first strike.

1651
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,520
Then I watch police story four, super cop.

1652
01:02:16,080 --> 01:02:18,080
And then at some point, Operation Condor,

1653
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:19,080
just for a break.

1654
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:21,840
But anyway.

1655
01:02:21,840 --> 01:02:26,080
Then we get to the, what is it?

1656
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:27,600
Toxic spiky things.

1657
01:02:27,600 --> 01:02:29,440
Oh, yeah.

1658
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:30,280
The sea urchins.

1659
01:02:30,280 --> 01:02:32,640
The sea urchins, that's what they are called.

1660
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:34,760
Okay, I wrote it down, but then I was unsure.

1661
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:35,600
Spiky things.

1662
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:37,320
Yeah, I didn't know what the edges,

1663
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:38,320
I was gonna put sea urchins,

1664
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:39,160
but I didn't know if they were,

1665
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:40,320
and I wanna sound like an idiot.

1666
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,520
So I wrote toxic spiky things instead,

1667
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:48,160
which makes me sound like a career biologist

1668
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:49,480
or marine biologist.

1669
01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:54,840
But that was funny where he kicks Jackie into that toxic.

1670
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:56,560
Where the fuck are they?

1671
01:02:56,560 --> 01:02:59,760
Where there's a bathtub full of just toxic,

1672
01:02:59,760 --> 01:03:01,640
another sign for the children.

1673
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:06,080
Toxic, do not go into this water.

1674
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:07,120
Toxic.

1675
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:10,480
He kicks Jackie in, Jackie gets a couple stuck to his butt,

1676
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:12,160
he's sort of like, whatever.

1677
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:15,200
And then you get the most,

1678
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:18,160
this guy's been waiting his whole life for this moment.

1679
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:20,960
The actor, for police story four,

1680
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,480
he falls in there and they're like,

1681
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:26,480
we need you to act like you're high on sea urchin.

1682
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:29,160
He fucking delivers.

1683
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:34,160
He overacts the fucking shit out of the fact that he's high.

1684
01:03:34,760 --> 01:03:36,360
Is that just me or am I wrong?

1685
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:40,520
Should there have been like birds

1686
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:42,880
flying or tweeting around his head?

1687
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:43,840
It felt cartoonish.

1688
01:03:43,840 --> 01:03:46,640
It felt super cartoonish, but again.

1689
01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:47,480
Basically slapstick.

1690
01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,320
Jackie Chan.

1691
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:49,280
Yeah, my.

1692
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:50,120
Basically slapstick.

1693
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:51,640
It's basically slapstick.

1694
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:52,480
It's basically slapstick.

1695
01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:53,320
Bing, bing, bing, bing.

1696
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:57,440
And then the underwater scene is awesome,

1697
01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:00,120
but did that shark just burp?

1698
01:04:00,120 --> 01:04:01,680
Are you fucking kidding me?

1699
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:03,600
The shark.

1700
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:08,320
As I said, I love the sound effects of the fight,

1701
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,360
the underwater fight, the punching sound effects.

1702
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:16,360
I like the shark that is presumably sort of in a like a cave

1703
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:22,840
that he siren calls a fucking scuba diver man or whatever.

1704
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:23,680
Into his cave.

1705
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:26,680
And then it cuts to the perspective of the shark.

1706
01:04:26,680 --> 01:04:28,520
You hear a burp.

1707
01:04:28,520 --> 01:04:29,360
Yeah.

1708
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:32,840
And then the shark knows to spit out the scuba gear,

1709
01:04:32,840 --> 01:04:34,880
but eat the rest of the guy.

1710
01:04:34,880 --> 01:04:39,880
He one gulped this man and then spit out the.

1711
01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:41,880
Oh, their shark physics are about as good

1712
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:44,440
as the space physics from space truckers.

1713
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:47,200
There's no security at this fucking zoo.

1714
01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:48,040
Yeah.

1715
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:48,860
I mean, it's like a

1716
01:04:48,860 --> 01:04:53,040
space truckers there's no security at this fucking zoo.

1717
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:54,760
That sea lion.

1718
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:56,280
The fuck are you talking about?

1719
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:59,440
The sea lion stops people from going into the shark.

1720
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:00,480
It's for the kids.

1721
01:05:00,480 --> 01:05:01,800
It's for the kids.

1722
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:02,840
It's for the kids.

1723
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:03,920
Shark tank for kids.

1724
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,640
Shark tank for kids.

1725
01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:08,200
This is the most dangerous.

1726
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:10,240
Australia is fucking wild.

1727
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:14,480
There should have been a scene with like a giant spider

1728
01:05:14,480 --> 01:05:17,920
that he finds like just running away from people.

1729
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:20,240
And he throws it at him or something.

1730
01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:21,960
I can just totally see it.

1731
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,520
Like the web's getting in his hair and he's flipping out

1732
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:25,520
and there's a spider on him.

1733
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,360
And oh yeah, Jackie would sell this shit out.

1734
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:28,360
It's such a good scene where like,

1735
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,960
if he's trying to like find somewhere

1736
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:32,200
and he's talking to an Australian guy

1737
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:34,000
and he can't understand what they're saying.

1738
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:37,400
Oh, that'd be so good.

1739
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:39,640
He's at the Macoss.

1740
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:40,880
The what?

1741
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:41,840
You know about the servo.

1742
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:42,680
What?

1743
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:43,680
I don't understand what you're telling me.

1744
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:45,360
They just don't understand each other,

1745
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:48,240
which would be just fucking great.

1746
01:05:48,240 --> 01:05:50,360
The koala should have made more appearances.

1747
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,080
I think.

1748
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:57,080
Oh, what was in that pink CO2 container?

1749
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:00,680
Why was it so important?

1750
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:01,520
Why was everyone fighting for it at the end?

1751
01:06:01,520 --> 01:06:04,920
It's the uranium core for the missile.

1752
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:05,960
What missile?

1753
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:07,720
The missile.

1754
01:06:07,720 --> 01:06:09,720
Did they show a fucking missile at some point?

1755
01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:11,840
This is why you shouldn't watch at 1.5 speed

1756
01:06:11,840 --> 01:06:13,000
or two times speed.

1757
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:13,840
Listen, listen.

1758
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:14,680
Missile lot.

1759
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:16,520
I didn't miss anything.

1760
01:06:16,520 --> 01:06:17,360
Missile.

1761
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:20,400
You know, you missed most of the plot.

1762
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,280
No, I know the plot.

1763
01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:23,120
It's Police Story 4.

1764
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:25,520
You know I watch everything we're supposed to watch,

1765
01:06:25,520 --> 01:06:28,200
like the night we record,

1766
01:06:28,200 --> 01:06:31,280
or if not, then I pick up the rest of it on Sunday.

1767
01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:32,520
Oh, that's great.

1768
01:06:32,520 --> 01:06:34,200
I'm the opposite.

1769
01:06:34,200 --> 01:06:35,280
At full speed.

1770
01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:37,000
I watch the night before. At normal speed.

1771
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:40,200
I watched some of Police Story 4 on the way here

1772
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:41,720
from California this morning.

1773
01:06:41,720 --> 01:06:44,760
I was like, maybe the part where they were talking

1774
01:06:44,760 --> 01:06:46,440
about missiles, and then I realized,

1775
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:47,960
I can't watch a Jackie Chan.

1776
01:06:47,960 --> 01:06:49,760
I have to actually watch a Jackie Chan movie

1777
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:51,120
because it's all physical.

1778
01:06:51,120 --> 01:06:52,960
I can't just listen to a Jackie Chan movie.

1779
01:06:52,960 --> 01:06:53,960
Can you imagine that scene?

1780
01:06:53,960 --> 01:06:55,320
That car accident?

1781
01:06:56,520 --> 01:06:58,960
And he's just blah, like hanging out the side

1782
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:01,080
of his fucking Jackie Chan.

1783
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,000
Only thing in the corner is just Jackie Chan.

1784
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:05,360
It's just hand sanitizer everywhere.

1785
01:07:06,840 --> 01:07:10,320
And like, Clearman's cheese spread all over his face.

1786
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:12,120
I did buy some.

1787
01:07:12,120 --> 01:07:14,720
And then there's just the Police Story 4 movie

1788
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:16,920
just playing on a phone like 30 yards away.

1789
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:19,000
So that's actually, that's a great point.

1790
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:20,880
I've always had this morbid thought.

1791
01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:25,880
So if you were to get into a car accident and die,

1792
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:31,360
with modern technology, I bet if they can pinpoint

1793
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:34,400
the time you died, they can pinpoint it,

1794
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,760
and know that the music was playing while you were dying.

1795
01:07:36,760 --> 01:07:37,960
Let's just say it's one of those car accidents

1796
01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:40,360
where the music is still playing and you die.

1797
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:43,720
You could reverse, like look at the phone,

1798
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,600
look at whatever, if you had the present mind

1799
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:48,320
to be like, the presence of mind or whatever

1800
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:49,960
to take note of it.

1801
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:52,000
Find out exactly what a person would be,

1802
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,360
what the song they were listening to

1803
01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:54,520
when they died would be.

1804
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,280
They do do that because they found a couple,

1805
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:59,360
like a couple of the Tesla accidents have known

1806
01:07:59,360 --> 01:08:02,680
they were watching a movie when they died

1807
01:08:02,680 --> 01:08:04,760
and so the insurance didn't pay off.

1808
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:05,600
Okay, but I wouldn't want to know.

1809
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:08,000
You have your watch history on YouTube,

1810
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:09,360
you can go to someone's Spotify

1811
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:11,320
and see what they're listening to right now.

1812
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:15,360
Okay, but I wonder if you could pinpoint exactly

1813
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,880
where they were in the movie when they died.

1814
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:19,000
Yes, it'll show the time.

1815
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:22,120
Oh yeah, he was driving, he was going 95,

1816
01:08:22,120 --> 01:08:24,400
he was eating clearments, and it was that one part

1817
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:27,960
of that song, doot and doot and doot do.

1818
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:28,800
Ah!

1819
01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:33,360
That's when he crashed, head first, into a semi.

1820
01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:35,800
Yes, they can recreate to that level, yes.

1821
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:37,920
Wait, what were you just seeing?

1822
01:08:37,920 --> 01:08:39,800
It also would depend on what you were driving.

1823
01:08:39,800 --> 01:08:42,640
Now that's a Tesla or your car has a computer

1824
01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:45,800
and it'll pinpoint exactly, but older cars,

1825
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:50,160
my car will tell, yours maybe not,

1826
01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:53,800
but in the last 10 years, the cars all have computers

1827
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:56,640
that track speed, distance, all that stuff.

1828
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:58,840
They can match that with your phone.

1829
01:08:58,840 --> 01:09:01,960
Traveling 88 miles an hour watching Back to the Future.

1830
01:09:01,960 --> 01:09:02,800
I want to.

1831
01:09:02,800 --> 01:09:03,640
I want to.

1832
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:04,480
It could be.

1833
01:09:04,480 --> 01:09:05,320
It could be.

1834
01:09:06,640 --> 01:09:07,800
That'd be a fun one.

1835
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:08,640
Yeah.

1836
01:09:08,640 --> 01:09:12,520
That's a fun one, so if you are gonna suicide by car.

1837
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:13,360
Go 88 in one.

1838
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,440
Go 88 into a wall watching Back to the Future.

1839
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:17,280
That'd be a fun one.

1840
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:19,720
I'm gonna contract diabetes and then hang myself

1841
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:21,480
with a nerd rope is what I'm gonna do.

1842
01:09:21,480 --> 01:09:23,080
Ooh, that's.

1843
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:25,200
Either that or have a home alone set up

1844
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:27,040
and then call the cops and say I'm gonna kill myself.

1845
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:28,560
I.

1846
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:29,680
To get tarned feathers.

1847
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:31,880
Oh, that's funny, but it can't be dangerous.

1848
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:32,960
You don't want to hurt the police.

1849
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:34,600
No, just tarned feathering.

1850
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,280
Not like actual home alone where you're trying

1851
01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:37,640
to kill those people.

1852
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,520
Not heating up doorknobs.

1853
01:09:39,520 --> 01:09:40,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1854
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,320
Paint buckets swinging down.

1855
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:43,960
I think if I were to do a suicide,

1856
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,080
I would disguise it as something accidental.

1857
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:49,440
Like I would choke myself with some food

1858
01:09:49,440 --> 01:09:51,480
while driving in the middle of the desert

1859
01:09:51,480 --> 01:09:52,960
while no one's around to help.

1860
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:53,840
And then people would just think,

1861
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:55,120
oh, nothing to do about it.

1862
01:09:55,120 --> 01:09:56,720
Oh, I always figure we're gonna find you

1863
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:58,240
like Robin Williams once had.

1864
01:09:58,240 --> 01:09:59,360
No, I can't do it.

1865
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:01,000
I don't want a violent suicide

1866
01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:03,440
because I wouldn't want people to have to clean up.

1867
01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:05,640
I'd want it to be all taken care of.

1868
01:10:05,640 --> 01:10:08,560
Everything boxed up, ready to go, people's names.

1869
01:10:08,560 --> 01:10:10,600
Everyone gets an individual suicide video.

1870
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:12,120
If I was gonna do a violent one,

1871
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:14,080
it would be like all the forms of suicide

1872
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:16,360
you could commit all at once.

1873
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:17,720
You know what I mean?

1874
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:21,040
I would go somewhere public, tie a noose around my neck,

1875
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:23,680
swallow pills and alcohol, have a bomb strapped to me,

1876
01:10:23,680 --> 01:10:26,240
light myself on fire, shoot myself in the head.

1877
01:10:26,240 --> 01:10:27,080
Well, okay, so.

1878
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:27,920
Fall, swing, blow up, boom.

1879
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:29,600
So I don't know if this is real or not,

1880
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:32,120
but I read in the Darwin's Award book or whatever

1881
01:10:32,120 --> 01:10:33,840
that someone did just that.

1882
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:36,160
So they wanted to make sure that they died.

1883
01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:37,920
And so they went to a cliff.

1884
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:41,720
They hung themselves off the cliff after take,

1885
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:44,400
so they ingested a bunch of pills,

1886
01:10:45,280 --> 01:10:46,800
put a noose around their neck,

1887
01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:50,200
hung themselves off of a, hanging over a cliff,

1888
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:53,680
and then while they were choking, shot their gun,

1889
01:10:53,680 --> 01:10:55,680
which shot through the rope.

1890
01:10:55,680 --> 01:10:59,920
And they flew and they landed down into the water

1891
01:10:59,920 --> 01:11:02,680
underneath where the cliff was, survived the fall.

1892
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:06,440
The water, it caused them to throw up all of the pills,

1893
01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:08,840
and then they landed on the shore

1894
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:10,840
and then died of exhaustion.

1895
01:11:13,040 --> 01:11:13,880
So.

1896
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:16,600
You died every way possible.

1897
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:17,440
Yeah.

1898
01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:19,720
I saw one of the coolest ways in a movie,

1899
01:11:19,720 --> 01:11:22,000
which I think would really get it done,

1900
01:11:22,000 --> 01:11:25,680
which is you find a cliff that you can drive off of,

1901
01:11:25,680 --> 01:11:27,120
but it has to have a tree nearby.

1902
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:30,320
And what you do is you smash out your back window

1903
01:11:30,320 --> 01:11:34,760
of your car, you tie a rope around the tree,

1904
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,120
and then you try, then you put the rope

1905
01:11:37,120 --> 01:11:38,600
through your back seat of your car

1906
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:40,560
and you tie the other rope around your neck,

1907
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,440
and then you drive off the cliff.

1908
01:11:42,440 --> 01:11:44,440
So when the rope finally tightens up,

1909
01:11:44,440 --> 01:11:46,920
it just fucking straight decapitates you,

1910
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:48,440
or at the, you know, whatever.

1911
01:11:48,440 --> 01:11:50,920
But look, no one ever has to do that to themselves

1912
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:53,080
because you might miss Police Story 5.

1913
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:54,720
You might miss Police Story 5.

1914
01:11:56,240 --> 01:11:57,080
Yeah, I mean, I don't think-

1915
01:11:57,080 --> 01:11:59,200
How did Police Story get so dark?

1916
01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:00,040
I don't know.

1917
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:01,840
How did this become A Thousand Ways to Die?

1918
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:02,880
I don't know.

1919
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:04,800
I'm not advocating that you kill yourself.

1920
01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:05,640
I don't know your story.

1921
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:06,480
It wasn't a thousand ways.

1922
01:12:06,480 --> 01:12:08,080
It was several ways to die at once.

1923
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:09,640
Yeah, it was.

1924
01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:11,080
Yeah, exactly.

1925
01:12:11,080 --> 01:12:12,760
Yeah, we're not advocating you kill yourself.

1926
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:14,120
We don't know who you are.

1927
01:12:14,120 --> 01:12:15,360
But hey, if you're a piece of shit,

1928
01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:17,160
yeah, kill yourself, what the fuck?

1929
01:12:17,160 --> 01:12:18,680
Like yeah, if you're a real bad person,

1930
01:12:18,680 --> 01:12:20,960
if you're out there abusing your girlfriend every day,

1931
01:12:20,960 --> 01:12:22,600
if you've ever molested a child,

1932
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:24,320
if you fucking deal hard drugs,

1933
01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:26,520
yeah, go fucking kill yourself, you piece of shit.

1934
01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:27,640
No one wants you on this earth.

1935
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:28,640
You suck.

1936
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:29,480
You're the worst.

1937
01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,280
Yeah, all those feelings that you feel

1938
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:32,560
about how nobody loves you

1939
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:34,800
and that you're fucking scum to this earth, you are.

1940
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:36,080
You are that guy.

1941
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:38,160
Did you just hit your wife earlier this week?

1942
01:12:38,160 --> 01:12:39,240
You fucking scumbag.

1943
01:12:39,240 --> 01:12:40,280
You think you won't do it again?

1944
01:12:40,280 --> 01:12:43,040
You fucking will, you piece of shit.

1945
01:12:43,040 --> 01:12:46,160
Go fucking crash into a wall at 80-mate miles an hour

1946
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:47,360
watching Back to the Future.

1947
01:12:47,360 --> 01:12:49,320
At least we can get some laughs out of your fucking

1948
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:51,360
pathetic life, you piece of shit.

1949
01:12:51,360 --> 01:12:52,200
Yeah.

1950
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:53,040
All right, so.

1951
01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:56,040
Lay out, so we didn't find out,

1952
01:12:56,040 --> 01:12:57,800
oh, it was the uranium cores in the pink thing.

1953
01:12:57,800 --> 01:12:58,640
All right.

1954
01:12:58,640 --> 01:12:59,480
Yeah.

1955
01:12:59,480 --> 01:13:01,920
It was like, I'm bad at writing.

1956
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:04,480
We get the big fun fight scene.

1957
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:05,600
Nice transition.

1958
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:10,200
And then, literally, the most police story ending

1959
01:13:10,200 --> 01:13:12,760
you can get, now that I think of this as a franchise,

1960
01:13:12,760 --> 01:13:15,760
it just cuts back to his captain going,

1961
01:13:15,760 --> 01:13:17,960
you did it again, Jackie.

1962
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:20,360
Jack's like, all right, till next time.

1963
01:13:20,360 --> 01:13:22,880
And then we get bloopers, which is the only reason

1964
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:24,960
anybody ever comes to one of these fucking movies

1965
01:13:24,960 --> 01:13:25,800
in the first place.

1966
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:29,240
It's like, they were the MCU before anybody else was.

1967
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:31,360
People staying in the theater.

1968
01:13:31,360 --> 01:13:34,880
That, back in 1996, when this movie came out,

1969
01:13:36,040 --> 01:13:39,160
if you went into one of those Chinese theaters,

1970
01:13:39,160 --> 01:13:41,400
you know that there's a group that got up

1971
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:43,800
and started walking away before the bloopers started.

1972
01:13:43,800 --> 01:13:45,080
Even they start writing that in there.

1973
01:13:45,080 --> 01:13:48,080
Just, like, if there was maybe 10 seconds of black screen,

1974
01:13:48,080 --> 01:13:50,200
they're like standing up, and everyone else in the theater's

1975
01:13:50,200 --> 01:13:51,400
going, you fucking morons.

1976
01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:52,240
Don't you?

1977
01:13:52,240 --> 01:13:53,080
You never been to a-

1978
01:13:53,080 --> 01:13:53,920
Just did that yesterday.

1979
01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:54,760
Yeah, exactly.

1980
01:13:54,760 --> 01:13:55,600
Just did that yesterday.

1981
01:13:55,600 --> 01:13:57,720
I'm looking around, I cannot believe anyone is leaving.

1982
01:13:57,720 --> 01:13:58,920
Insane.

1983
01:13:58,920 --> 01:13:59,760
Insane.

1984
01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:00,600
Everybody left?

1985
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:02,280
Not everybody, but about half.

1986
01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:03,120
Wow.

1987
01:14:03,120 --> 01:14:06,040
Deadpool Wolverine, who the fuck gets,

1988
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:09,160
who the fuck leaves before the credits?

1989
01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:11,480
The end credit scene usually ends up on YouTube

1990
01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:14,360
pretty quick, so that, I mean, I guess that could be why

1991
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:16,000
they just got it there, like, okay, I sat here

1992
01:14:16,000 --> 01:14:18,200
for however long, I hate the bathroom.

1993
01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:20,960
I'm not sure when it released on-

1994
01:14:20,960 --> 01:14:21,800
Thursday.

1995
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:25,160
Thursday, at three o'clock for me, that's when I saw it.

1996
01:14:25,160 --> 01:14:29,080
And yeah, there was like, there was credits scene,

1997
01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:30,600
and then the end credits scene,

1998
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:32,480
nobody batted an eye, nothing.

1999
01:14:32,480 --> 01:14:34,680
Everyone sat right there, like,

2000
01:14:34,680 --> 01:14:37,520
as if the movie was still playing a crucial point.

2001
01:14:37,520 --> 01:14:39,400
Yeah, so you had actual fans, like, good fans.

2002
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:41,360
Well, yeah, opening day, he's opening day,

2003
01:14:41,360 --> 01:14:42,200
which is like, yeah.

2004
01:14:42,200 --> 01:14:43,360
Well, I will say, if you pay attention to the credits,

2005
01:14:43,360 --> 01:14:44,640
there's a few Easter eggs.

2006
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:47,080
Oh, like in-

2007
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:47,920
Actual physical, in the credits.

2008
01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:48,760
In the credits, yeah.

2009
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:49,600
In the credits.

2010
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:51,040
So, I don't know.

2011
01:14:51,040 --> 01:14:52,840
So when you are waiting for your,

2012
01:14:52,840 --> 01:14:54,400
I'll say this, if you haven't seen it yet,

2013
01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:55,680
which is, this is gonna be a couple weeks,

2014
01:14:55,680 --> 01:14:58,400
you probably already have, but at least for Brennan,

2015
01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:00,880
when you go to see it, just pay, I mean, there's some.

2016
01:15:00,880 --> 01:15:03,280
I'm not saying you have to glue your eyes to it,

2017
01:15:03,280 --> 01:15:04,120
but there's some.

2018
01:15:06,400 --> 01:15:10,240
Yeah, okay, so, Jackie Chan's First Strike,

2019
01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:14,560
Police Story 4, I mean, let's review this thing.

2020
01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:17,080
Or let's give it some, let's.

2021
01:15:17,080 --> 01:15:18,240
Is that what we were doing already?

2022
01:15:18,240 --> 01:15:20,880
We were, no, I mean, let's give it a grade, I guess.

2023
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:25,360
I'll go first, just cause I, now I was,

2024
01:15:26,480 --> 01:15:28,040
honestly, it was a D.

2025
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:33,520
I put a C, that I thought at the time, I was like,

2026
01:15:33,520 --> 01:15:36,400
oh yeah, here at Fried Rice Podcast, by the way,

2027
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:39,040
we have a different rating system than most podcasts,

2028
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:41,320
or most anybody, anyone really rational,

2029
01:15:41,320 --> 01:15:42,640
who does this for a living,

2030
01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:45,160
who gives a shit about audience participation,

2031
01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:48,000
who cares about you, would do this differently.

2032
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:50,800
But we have our own piece of shit system,

2033
01:15:50,800 --> 01:15:53,480
which where we start at B,

2034
01:15:53,480 --> 01:15:56,800
and then we go to through F.

2035
01:15:56,800 --> 01:16:00,360
So B through F, we're skipping E.

2036
01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:02,560
I feel like I need to point that out,

2037
01:16:02,560 --> 01:16:05,480
because we added W, and we got rid of A.

2038
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:10,480
So, just like the police story naming, police story names,

2039
01:16:10,640 --> 01:16:12,760
we don't give a fuck about how you're gonna,

2040
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:14,760
how you're gonna Google this.

2041
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:17,480
What it's gonna mean for every movie,

2042
01:16:17,480 --> 01:16:20,200
all the greatest movies we watch are having B ratings.

2043
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:24,200
And some of the worst ones have As for some reason.

2044
01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:27,000
Or M for Masterpiece.

2045
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:29,440
What do you mean by, what do you mean by the worst ones?

2046
01:16:29,440 --> 01:16:31,760
S tier, A, Masterpiece.

2047
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:35,440
First off, the A is only being given out to one movie,

2048
01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:39,920
and that movie was deservedly an A movie.

2049
01:16:39,920 --> 01:16:44,080
And that was 2010's King of the Avenue,

2050
01:16:44,080 --> 01:16:46,440
starring Little Dicky, or whatever the fuck his name was

2051
01:16:46,440 --> 01:16:49,080
from Little Dirt, whatever, no not Little Dirt.

2052
01:16:49,080 --> 01:16:51,120
Dirt Nasty. Dirt Nasty.

2053
01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:52,320
Put some respect on his name,

2054
01:16:52,320 --> 01:16:53,880
I tagged him in that episode.

2055
01:16:55,240 --> 01:17:00,240
This movie, in my opinion, gets a C plus,

2056
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:05,240
because it's, I'm judging it purely on it being

2057
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:10,560
another part of the police story franchise.

2058
01:17:12,280 --> 01:17:15,920
On any other metric, it's a D Jackie Chan movie,

2059
01:17:15,920 --> 01:17:19,080
not my favorite, not like by any stretch of the imagination.

2060
01:17:19,080 --> 01:17:22,960
But another police story fits right in,

2061
01:17:22,960 --> 01:17:24,720
and it's perfect for that.

2062
01:17:24,720 --> 01:17:28,200
So yeah, I'd say 3.5 Sea Lion Slaps,

2063
01:17:28,200 --> 01:17:31,320
3 out of 5 Sea Lion Slaps.

2064
01:17:33,280 --> 01:17:37,120
All right, I just went solid C minus,

2065
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:38,960
it wasn't anything really special,

2066
01:17:38,960 --> 01:17:40,440
but it wasn't necessarily bad,

2067
01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:43,120
it was a lot of the silliness made it good,

2068
01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:45,320
and it also had some good fighting scenes,

2069
01:17:45,320 --> 01:17:47,360
runaway scenes, and action and whatnot.

2070
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:50,240
Didn't care for the story too much,

2071
01:17:50,240 --> 01:17:53,320
so I just went C minus, which is what,

2072
01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:56,920
three pairs of koala underwear.

2073
01:17:56,920 --> 01:17:58,600
Okay, I like that.

2074
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:04,720
I pretty much am in agreement with everybody.

2075
01:18:04,720 --> 01:18:07,680
It's just, it's his James Bond take, basically.

2076
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:08,760
Shows throughout it.

2077
01:18:10,080 --> 01:18:12,600
Even the music is James Bond.

2078
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:14,040
Can you say it's basically James Bond?

2079
01:18:14,040 --> 01:18:16,800
It's basically slapstick James Bond.

2080
01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:20,320
I need all of your reviews to start with,

2081
01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:23,000
it's basically, every sentence is just,

2082
01:18:23,000 --> 01:18:24,160
it's basically James Bond,

2083
01:18:24,160 --> 01:18:27,240
and it's basically how I feel about this is,

2084
01:18:27,240 --> 01:18:30,560
I don't even need it to make sense grammatically.

2085
01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:34,120
You know, when you finally do your Ted Cruz impersonations,

2086
01:18:34,120 --> 01:18:35,920
I figured out how you can do the voice right,

2087
01:18:35,920 --> 01:18:37,720
just act like you're imitating Mike.

2088
01:18:39,040 --> 01:18:41,440
When I see you morph into Ted Cruz,

2089
01:18:41,440 --> 01:18:42,760
you mimic Mike.

2090
01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:44,040
Damn right, how do I?

2091
01:18:44,040 --> 01:18:45,840
Wear a suit and mimic Mike.

2092
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:47,120
I'm basically Ted Cruz.

2093
01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:51,880
Welcome to Texas, I'm basically Ted Cruz,

2094
01:18:51,880 --> 01:18:53,880
and I basically run this country.

2095
01:18:53,880 --> 01:18:56,480
I'm gonna basically throw basically in there the whole time.

2096
01:18:56,480 --> 01:18:57,320
Yeah.

2097
01:18:57,320 --> 01:18:59,120
Why is he doing basic,

2098
01:18:59,120 --> 01:19:01,200
does Ted Cruz say basically a lot?

2099
01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:03,400
No, my friend Mike does.

2100
01:19:03,400 --> 01:19:04,520
What does that have to do with Ted Cruz?

2101
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:05,720
Don't worry about it.

2102
01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:11,760
But I'd say I'm a C plus.

2103
01:19:11,760 --> 01:19:14,480
I look at it kinda like I look at Fast and Furious.

2104
01:19:14,480 --> 01:19:17,360
It's just, it's what it is.

2105
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:18,520
Three and a, all Jackie,

2106
01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:20,560
actually I look at all Jackie Chan movies.

2107
01:19:20,560 --> 01:19:24,600
So three and a half Bruce Stunt and RSC plus.

2108
01:19:29,080 --> 01:19:31,080
Yeah, this one is definitely,

2109
01:19:31,080 --> 01:19:33,800
got some nostalgia, I enjoyed it as a kid.

2110
01:19:35,320 --> 01:19:37,720
But yeah, it's definitely,

2111
01:19:37,720 --> 01:19:39,480
again, one of those turn your brain off,

2112
01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:42,480
just watch the movie to enjoy the scenes

2113
01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:46,040
and the choreography of the fights and all that fun stuff.

2114
01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:48,600
You know, you like picking a lot of turn your brain.

2115
01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:51,880
That's like the fourth time you said turn your brain off.

2116
01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:54,240
You turn your brain off a lot, dude.

2117
01:19:54,240 --> 01:19:56,600
They kinda need a break sometimes.

2118
01:19:56,600 --> 01:19:58,000
Yeah, that's true.

2119
01:19:58,000 --> 01:19:59,520
That's what movies are for.

2120
01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:02,440
Break from reality, break from thinking.

2121
01:20:04,040 --> 01:20:06,240
But I don't know.

2122
01:20:06,240 --> 01:20:07,080
Not always.

2123
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:07,920
Not always.

2124
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:11,360
Movies are a labor intensive thought process thing

2125
01:20:11,360 --> 01:20:14,360
that just, they're not fun to watch.

2126
01:20:14,360 --> 01:20:16,000
You have to watch them and pick apart

2127
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:17,240
every little fucking thing.

2128
01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:19,640
If you're autistic enough.

2129
01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:22,840
And if you watch it and you have to force yourself

2130
01:20:22,840 --> 01:20:24,280
to get the suspense of disbelief

2131
01:20:24,280 --> 01:20:26,720
so that you're not watching the camera movements

2132
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:29,040
and what the director's making things go

2133
01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:32,200
and the set design and costume choices and acting choices

2134
01:20:32,200 --> 01:20:35,880
and all the fucking little things that you have to forget

2135
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:38,920
are a movie in order to follow a storyline

2136
01:20:38,920 --> 01:20:41,880
that oftentimes doesn't make a lot of sense.

2137
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:43,240
So no, movies are not fun.

2138
01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:45,000
You can't just turn your brain off, Brandon.

2139
01:20:45,000 --> 01:20:46,560
You have to pay attention.

2140
01:20:46,560 --> 01:20:47,800
And.

2141
01:20:47,800 --> 01:20:49,800
Okay, but I mean by turn your brain off

2142
01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:52,200
is like just kind of focus on the movie

2143
01:20:52,200 --> 01:20:54,080
and just not really even think about

2144
01:20:54,080 --> 01:20:55,320
the behind the scenes stuff.

2145
01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:56,640
Like don't think about reality.

2146
01:20:56,640 --> 01:20:57,840
Just think about the movie.

2147
01:20:57,840 --> 01:20:58,840
So hard.

2148
01:20:58,840 --> 01:21:01,480
That's the most difficult thing about watching movies,

2149
01:21:01,480 --> 01:21:02,560
about watching anything.

2150
01:21:02,560 --> 01:21:05,960
I get, you know what I think the longer the thing is

2151
01:21:05,960 --> 01:21:09,520
that I'm watching, the harder it is for me to stay in it.

2152
01:21:09,520 --> 01:21:12,160
So I think that's why TV shows a lot of time I fall off

2153
01:21:12,160 --> 01:21:15,200
because like I'll watch even the boys,

2154
01:21:15,200 --> 01:21:18,800
but at some point I.

2155
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:19,640
You start seeing the choices.

2156
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:22,040
I start seeing the behind the,

2157
01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:25,000
I start seeing the seams, the lines, the cracks or whatever.

2158
01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:27,240
Not that there's anything wrong with the story.

2159
01:21:27,240 --> 01:21:30,880
But the moment I see bad CGI, even a little bit,

2160
01:21:30,880 --> 01:21:34,920
it takes me so far out of the fucking like movie

2161
01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:38,240
that I have to like force myself

2162
01:21:38,240 --> 01:21:39,600
to maybe get back into it.

2163
01:21:39,600 --> 01:21:40,440
It's tough.

2164
01:21:41,640 --> 01:21:42,480
So, okay.

2165
01:21:42,480 --> 01:21:43,680
So sometimes, yeah, I'm glad,

2166
01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:45,680
but yeah, you can pick.

2167
01:21:45,680 --> 01:21:50,240
If I want to think or movie, I'll pick a thinker movie,

2168
01:21:50,240 --> 01:21:52,760
but this is definitely not a thinker movie.

2169
01:21:52,760 --> 01:21:54,120
This is a movie.

2170
01:21:54,120 --> 01:21:56,120
Just turn on and just background noise.

2171
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:56,960
You can pay attention to it.

2172
01:21:56,960 --> 01:21:59,000
You can't, you don't have to watch the whole thing.

2173
01:21:59,000 --> 01:22:00,000
You could tune in and out.

2174
01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:01,600
If you miss the missiles, no big deal.

2175
01:22:01,600 --> 01:22:04,560
Yeah, like Andy didn't know the Russian was the bad guy.

2176
01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:05,400
You know.

2177
01:22:06,240 --> 01:22:08,480
Well, look, you can watch the movie at any speed.

2178
01:22:08,480 --> 01:22:09,320
Yeah.

2179
01:22:09,320 --> 01:22:10,400
At any speed.

2180
01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:11,240
What was it?

2181
01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:12,880
RGB that they call themselves.

2182
01:22:12,880 --> 01:22:14,720
Yeah, instead of the KGB.

2183
01:22:14,720 --> 01:22:15,560
Yeah.

2184
01:22:15,560 --> 01:22:17,920
Like it's something silly like that.

2185
01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:18,760
RGB.

2186
01:22:18,760 --> 01:22:19,600
He was the bad guy.

2187
01:22:19,600 --> 01:22:22,440
Who's the one, Ruth Bader Ginsburg?

2188
01:22:22,440 --> 01:22:23,280
Yeah.

2189
01:22:23,280 --> 01:22:24,120
Yeah.

2190
01:22:24,120 --> 01:22:24,960
Yeah.

2191
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:25,800
Yeah.

2192
01:22:25,800 --> 01:22:26,960
The notorious RBG.

2193
01:22:26,960 --> 01:22:27,800
Yeah.

2194
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:29,520
The notorious RBG.

2195
01:22:29,520 --> 01:22:30,360
Yeah.

2196
01:22:30,360 --> 01:22:32,520
But I give it a solid C.

2197
01:22:32,520 --> 01:22:33,360
Nice.

2198
01:22:33,360 --> 01:22:35,240
All right, so C, C minus.

2199
01:22:35,240 --> 01:22:36,080
C plus.

2200
01:22:36,080 --> 01:22:37,880
Oh, C plus, C plus, C minus, C?

2201
01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:38,720
C, C.

2202
01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:42,400
That's a solid fucking C movie, if I've ever seen it.

2203
01:22:42,400 --> 01:22:44,360
Yeah, so fuck, yeah.

2204
01:22:45,520 --> 01:22:49,520
Jackie Chan's first strike, police story four,

2205
01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:50,360
gets a C.

2206
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:56,560
Now, who the fuck wasn't this week's movie?

2207
01:22:56,560 --> 01:22:58,400
What?

2208
01:22:58,400 --> 01:22:59,240
Who's picking?

2209
01:22:59,240 --> 01:23:00,080
It's your movie.

2210
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:00,920
It's not my movie.

2211
01:23:00,920 --> 01:23:02,680
We just had this discussion the other day.

2212
01:23:02,680 --> 01:23:03,520
Yeah, it was.

2213
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:05,360
I just picked.

2214
01:23:05,360 --> 01:23:06,200
You're after me.

2215
01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:07,440
You just picked, so it goes to you, Mike,

2216
01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:09,400
and then it goes to Andy, then it goes to me, then Andy.

2217
01:23:09,400 --> 01:23:10,240
I asked you.

2218
01:23:10,240 --> 01:23:11,080
I asked you.

2219
01:23:11,080 --> 01:23:12,600
I asked you this on Thursday.

2220
01:23:12,600 --> 01:23:13,440
Hold on one second.

2221
01:23:13,440 --> 01:23:14,280
One second.

2222
01:23:14,280 --> 01:23:16,120
And you told me it was not me.

2223
01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:17,880
We're gonna, wait, we'll be right back.

2224
01:23:17,880 --> 01:23:18,720
I'm gonna pause this.

2225
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:20,000
I'm so sorry, everybody at home.

2226
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:20,840
Just one sec.

2227
01:23:22,000 --> 01:23:23,200
And we're back.

2228
01:23:24,560 --> 01:23:26,120
Sorry about that, everybody.

2229
01:23:26,120 --> 01:23:27,120
I don't even know what we're gonna put.

2230
01:23:27,120 --> 01:23:28,200
We'll put something in there.

2231
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:29,200
It'll be fun.

2232
01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:30,040
It'll be fun.

2233
01:23:30,040 --> 01:23:31,680
Hey, man, have you ever heard of Fried Rice Pockets?

2234
01:23:31,680 --> 01:23:32,520
Yeah.

2235
01:23:32,520 --> 01:23:34,240
Those Pockets are by Bell Ringers.

2236
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:35,560
Brought to you by Bell Ringers.

2237
01:23:35,560 --> 01:23:38,320
Brought to you by Bell Ringers.

2238
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:40,680
So yeah, Mike, it's your choice,

2239
01:23:40,680 --> 01:23:42,600
which you knew this whole time.

2240
01:23:42,600 --> 01:23:44,480
What movie did you decide to pick?

2241
01:23:44,480 --> 01:23:48,560
I have decided on 1989's original, Batman.

2242
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:50,800
Wow.

2243
01:23:50,800 --> 01:23:52,520
Is that the one with Michael Keaton?

2244
01:23:52,520 --> 01:23:53,360
Yeah.

2245
01:23:53,360 --> 01:23:54,280
Wait, what movie?

2246
01:23:54,280 --> 01:23:55,120
White Noise.

2247
01:23:55,120 --> 01:23:55,960
Batman.

2248
01:23:55,960 --> 01:23:56,800
Batman.

2249
01:23:56,800 --> 01:23:57,920
Wait, wait.

2250
01:23:57,920 --> 01:23:58,760
Batman.

2251
01:23:58,760 --> 01:24:00,600
We're such bad actors.

2252
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:02,400
It's Batman.

2253
01:24:02,400 --> 01:24:04,640
Could you tell that we all heard for the first time

2254
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:07,080
right now organically that he told us Batman?

2255
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,160
Was that the one with Michael Keaton?

2256
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:11,200
What movie did you say?

2257
01:24:14,840 --> 01:24:16,600
God, we suck.

2258
01:24:16,600 --> 01:24:19,040
Yeah, so fucking Batman, hell yeah.

2259
01:24:19,040 --> 01:24:20,000
Yeah, it's gonna be a good one.

2260
01:24:20,000 --> 01:24:22,360
I mean, it sucks that our rating system

2261
01:24:22,360 --> 01:24:25,440
only goes up to B, but here we go.

2262
01:24:25,440 --> 01:24:26,800
B for Batman.

2263
01:24:26,800 --> 01:24:28,120
B for Batman.

2264
01:24:28,120 --> 01:24:29,720
That's great.

2265
01:24:29,720 --> 01:24:30,560
All right, perfect.

2266
01:24:30,560 --> 01:24:31,400
So.

2267
01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:34,000
Wait, say B for Batman again?

2268
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:34,960
B for Batman.

2269
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,400
Sound like Cookie Monster.

2270
01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:37,520
B for Batman.

2271
01:24:37,520 --> 01:24:41,840
I sound like Cookie Monster probably a lot

2272
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:44,560
when I'm at home alone,

2273
01:24:44,560 --> 01:24:47,960
because I'll just go, mm, no, I do Robin.

2274
01:24:47,960 --> 01:24:51,280
Do Cookie Monster doing Batman doing Michael Larson?

2275
01:24:55,720 --> 01:24:56,760
Basically Batman.

2276
01:24:59,680 --> 01:25:02,000
It's basically just Batman.

2277
01:25:02,000 --> 01:25:03,440
It's basically Batman.

2278
01:25:03,440 --> 01:25:08,440
I am, I am the knight.

2279
01:25:11,120 --> 01:25:13,120
It sounds like Sling Blade.

2280
01:25:13,120 --> 01:25:14,200
This man thing.

2281
01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:17,200
This man thing.

2282
01:25:18,520 --> 01:25:19,360
I can't.

2283
01:25:19,360 --> 01:25:20,440
This man thing.

2284
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:24,440
Now it's Sling Blade.

2285
01:25:25,720 --> 01:25:26,560
Michael Larson.

2286
01:25:27,800 --> 01:25:29,720
I can't do the Cookie Monster's gun.

2287
01:25:29,720 --> 01:25:30,560
So it's Batman.

2288
01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:33,600
I'm so sorry, people at home.

2289
01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:36,000
Let's just forget everything I ever,

2290
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:36,840
just forget it all.

2291
01:25:36,840 --> 01:25:37,680
Forget that ever happened.

2292
01:25:37,680 --> 01:25:40,360
Forget everything that ever existed.

2293
01:25:40,360 --> 01:25:41,960
All right, so Batman, perfect.

2294
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:44,960
Here on the show, at the end, we like to,

2295
01:25:44,960 --> 01:25:47,320
we don't wanna just talk about just the one, you know,

2296
01:25:47,320 --> 01:25:49,720
our movie, we also wanna recommend other things

2297
01:25:49,720 --> 01:25:51,640
outside of that.

2298
01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:52,840
I lost my pen.

2299
01:25:52,840 --> 01:25:55,600
I'm not gonna remember what time this is,

2300
01:25:55,600 --> 01:25:56,800
if I don't write this down.

2301
01:25:56,800 --> 01:25:59,920
Recreational recommendations.

2302
01:25:59,920 --> 01:26:01,040
Beep boop, beep boop.

2303
01:26:01,040 --> 01:26:01,880
Beep boop.

2304
01:26:10,680 --> 01:26:11,500
Beep boop.

2305
01:26:14,440 --> 01:26:15,280
Beep boop.

2306
01:26:17,800 --> 01:26:18,640
Beep boop.

2307
01:26:20,840 --> 01:26:21,680
Beep boop.

2308
01:26:21,680 --> 01:26:23,880
It's funny, that's what I used to,

2309
01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:26,400
I wait for your little beep boop,

2310
01:26:26,400 --> 01:26:27,720
and then I throw it in,

2311
01:26:27,720 --> 01:26:30,220
It sounds fucking awesome.

2312
01:26:30,220 --> 01:26:32,100
The music I made, I'm so sorry.

2313
01:26:32,100 --> 01:26:33,260
It was so jarring right now.

2314
01:26:33,260 --> 01:26:35,220
I don't know how to really adjust the volume much.

2315
01:26:35,220 --> 01:26:37,460
But like, I know you were just listening to us being like,

2316
01:26:37,460 --> 01:26:40,100
whatever, then just, ah!

2317
01:26:40,100 --> 01:26:40,940
So fuck you.

2318
01:26:42,780 --> 01:26:43,880
Mike, what do you got?

2319
01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:47,060
Well, here's what we did this week.

2320
01:26:47,060 --> 01:26:50,620
When I got off work on Thursday, Wednesday,

2321
01:26:50,620 --> 01:26:54,780
so Thursday night, after a little recording session here,

2322
01:26:54,780 --> 01:26:57,700
we watched Deadpool 1.

2323
01:26:57,700 --> 01:27:01,260
Then we watched, went to dinner,

2324
01:27:01,260 --> 01:27:03,460
and then went back and watched Deadpool 2.

2325
01:27:04,580 --> 01:27:06,820
And then what do you suppose we did on Friday?

2326
01:27:08,020 --> 01:27:09,660
If you're in a loving relationship,

2327
01:27:09,660 --> 01:27:11,380
I would hope you fuck,

2328
01:27:11,380 --> 01:27:15,060
because you should always have as much sex as possible,

2329
01:27:15,060 --> 01:27:16,220
especially the older you get.

2330
01:27:16,220 --> 01:27:17,900
You're not gonna be able to get as much later on

2331
01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:18,720
when you get older.

2332
01:27:18,720 --> 01:27:21,980
But hopefully after you fuck, you watch Deadpool, Wolverine?

2333
01:27:21,980 --> 01:27:24,100
Deadpool 1. Deadpool.

2334
01:27:24,100 --> 01:27:26,220
My recommendation is that you go right now

2335
01:27:26,220 --> 01:27:27,740
if you haven't been, and if you have been,

2336
01:27:27,740 --> 01:27:28,820
go a second time.

2337
01:27:29,700 --> 01:27:32,260
And if you've been twice, go a third time.

2338
01:27:32,260 --> 01:27:34,580
I might go a second time, actually.

2339
01:27:34,580 --> 01:27:38,060
Yes, this movie is awesome.

2340
01:27:39,020 --> 01:27:40,340
I'm not gonna spoil anything,

2341
01:27:40,340 --> 01:27:41,700
but that's all I'm gonna say.

2342
01:27:41,700 --> 01:27:42,740
It's awesome.

2343
01:27:43,740 --> 01:27:46,700
Yeah, I mean, of course, the three of us have seen it.

2344
01:27:47,980 --> 01:27:52,440
Now Austin, he's giving it not an 11 out of 10, like Mike,

2345
01:27:52,440 --> 01:27:54,860
and I'm giving it a B plus on our scale.

2346
01:27:54,860 --> 01:27:57,260
But I mean, if you're going off anyone else's metric,

2347
01:27:57,260 --> 01:27:58,100
it's an A plus.

2348
01:27:58,100 --> 01:28:00,140
Well, let's wait until we record the episode.

2349
01:28:00,140 --> 01:28:00,980
We are, oh yeah, yeah.

2350
01:28:00,980 --> 01:28:05,980
Just if you want our thoughts about Deadpool, Wolverine,

2351
01:28:06,100 --> 01:28:08,980
listen to the episode that dropped like a week ago.

2352
01:28:08,980 --> 01:28:09,980
We'll have a short.

2353
01:28:09,980 --> 01:28:11,380
We're gonna have a little review about it,

2354
01:28:11,380 --> 01:28:13,180
so we'll talk about it then.

2355
01:28:13,180 --> 01:28:14,660
Austin?

2356
01:28:14,660 --> 01:28:16,860
So this is a book I just read.

2357
01:28:16,860 --> 01:28:19,620
It was from the Placentia Library,

2358
01:28:19,620 --> 01:28:21,740
which means it was from when I was in middle school,

2359
01:28:21,740 --> 01:28:23,220
and I never returned this book.

2360
01:28:23,220 --> 01:28:24,740
And I was like, all right, I'll read this.

2361
01:28:24,740 --> 01:28:28,180
And it's Ray Bradbury, The Martian Chronicles.

2362
01:28:28,180 --> 01:28:30,140
Oh, John Carter.

2363
01:28:30,140 --> 01:28:30,980
What?

2364
01:28:30,980 --> 01:28:31,940
John Carter, yeah.

2365
01:28:31,940 --> 01:28:34,980
Martian, no, The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury.

2366
01:28:34,980 --> 01:28:36,380
And it stars John Carter?

2367
01:28:36,380 --> 01:28:37,340
No, it's a book.

2368
01:28:38,260 --> 01:28:40,820
The book that was written that came out in 1950.

2369
01:28:41,820 --> 01:28:42,660
Am I wrong?

2370
01:28:42,660 --> 01:28:43,500
Yes.

2371
01:28:43,500 --> 01:28:44,320
I think.

2372
01:28:44,320 --> 01:28:45,780
Is this not about a Confederate soldier

2373
01:28:45,780 --> 01:28:48,460
who gets sent to Mars and becomes a super soldier out there?

2374
01:28:48,460 --> 01:28:49,300
No, no.

2375
01:28:49,300 --> 01:28:50,140
This is a.

2376
01:28:50,140 --> 01:28:51,140
I thought that was it, too.

2377
01:28:51,140 --> 01:28:52,780
Or maybe I'm thinking John Carter of Mars.

2378
01:28:52,780 --> 01:28:53,620
Is that what it's called?

2379
01:28:53,620 --> 01:28:56,460
No, that's the movie name, but I thought the book was.

2380
01:28:56,460 --> 01:28:58,740
No, this is the original,

2381
01:28:58,740 --> 01:29:01,260
one of the greatest sci-fi writers of all time,

2382
01:29:01,260 --> 01:29:03,100
Ray Bradbury's book.

2383
01:29:03,100 --> 01:29:05,380
It didn't even do Fahrenheit 451?

2384
01:29:07,400 --> 01:29:09,780
I'm sure there's been a million things named that,

2385
01:29:09,780 --> 01:29:11,380
but when there's The Martian,

2386
01:29:11,380 --> 01:29:13,280
there's Mission Impossible Mars, dude.

2387
01:29:13,280 --> 01:29:14,380
But.

2388
01:29:14,380 --> 01:29:16,860
Yeah, Ray Bradbury, he did Fahrenheit 451.

2389
01:29:16,860 --> 01:29:17,700
Okay.

2390
01:29:17,700 --> 01:29:18,540
It's a novel by him.

2391
01:29:18,540 --> 01:29:20,000
No, I mean, I believe you.

2392
01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:21,340
I found it.

2393
01:29:21,340 --> 01:29:24,260
Each chapter is like a different point in time.

2394
01:29:24,260 --> 01:29:26,420
It's like, it could be years, it could be a year,

2395
01:29:26,420 --> 01:29:27,780
it could be a few months,

2396
01:29:27,780 --> 01:29:30,980
and it's just all these different short stories,

2397
01:29:30,980 --> 01:29:32,780
but they're all connected.

2398
01:29:32,780 --> 01:29:34,340
Like, there's one where it's like,

2399
01:29:35,260 --> 01:29:37,100
they sent a ship, it never came back,

2400
01:29:37,100 --> 01:29:39,380
so they send another ship with four guys,

2401
01:29:39,380 --> 01:29:41,180
and there's Martians just hanging out, living there,

2402
01:29:41,180 --> 01:29:42,980
and they're like, hey, we built a rocket,

2403
01:29:42,980 --> 01:29:44,180
and we came here from Earth,

2404
01:29:44,180 --> 01:29:46,460
and the Martian just does not give a fuck.

2405
01:29:46,460 --> 01:29:48,380
Are they those little guys with those, they look like.

2406
01:29:48,380 --> 01:29:49,980
They didn't really describe what they looked like.

2407
01:29:49,980 --> 01:29:51,580
Well, they're brown with like gold eyes,

2408
01:29:51,580 --> 01:29:52,820
or whatever, or something.

2409
01:29:52,820 --> 01:29:55,540
But like, the Martians don't give a fuck

2410
01:29:55,540 --> 01:29:58,500
that they came all the way from Earth in a rocket ship.

2411
01:29:58,500 --> 01:30:00,860
And they're like, go to this guy, he might give a fuck.

2412
01:30:00,860 --> 01:30:02,700
And then they go to him, and he's like,

2413
01:30:02,700 --> 01:30:03,900
I don't give a fuck who sent you.

2414
01:30:03,900 --> 01:30:05,540
I'm gonna go kill that motherfucker.

2415
01:30:05,540 --> 01:30:06,620
And the Martian takes off.

2416
01:30:06,620 --> 01:30:07,780
So he's like, go to this town.

2417
01:30:07,780 --> 01:30:09,020
They'll appreciate.

2418
01:30:09,020 --> 01:30:11,180
All these guys want is for someone to say,

2419
01:30:11,180 --> 01:30:13,100
attaboy, thanks for coming to Mars,

2420
01:30:13,100 --> 01:30:14,660
and they're not finding that.

2421
01:30:14,660 --> 01:30:16,300
And they go to this little girl, he picks her up, he's like,

2422
01:30:16,300 --> 01:30:20,300
hey, we came all the way here on a fucking rocket from Earth.

2423
01:30:20,300 --> 01:30:22,140
Can we get a congratulations something?

2424
01:30:22,140 --> 01:30:22,980
Just give us some props.

2425
01:30:22,980 --> 01:30:24,100
She's like, yeah, go this way.

2426
01:30:24,100 --> 01:30:26,180
And they go to this guy, he's like, oh yeah,

2427
01:30:26,180 --> 01:30:28,020
we got a hall right here, it's a party.

2428
01:30:28,020 --> 01:30:30,140
Go on down there, we'll have your welcoming party.

2429
01:30:30,140 --> 01:30:32,340
And they go in there, and there's not much going on.

2430
01:30:32,340 --> 01:30:33,160
They're like, where are we?

2431
01:30:33,160 --> 01:30:35,540
And they're like, oh, this is an insane asylum.

2432
01:30:35,540 --> 01:30:39,260
And then, yeah, everyone thinks, nobody believes them.

2433
01:30:39,260 --> 01:30:42,180
Nobody believes that they're from Earth.

2434
01:30:42,180 --> 01:30:46,580
And then there's a psychologist Martian,

2435
01:30:46,580 --> 01:30:48,860
he's like, yeah, you guys are insane.

2436
01:30:48,860 --> 01:30:51,380
You guys are making up all this stuff.

2437
01:30:51,380 --> 01:30:52,820
And they're like, look, we have a fucking ship,

2438
01:30:52,820 --> 01:30:53,660
we'll take you to it.

2439
01:30:53,660 --> 01:30:56,340
And he's like, wow, you guys are so insane

2440
01:30:56,340 --> 01:30:59,260
that you manifested this fake rocket.

2441
01:30:59,260 --> 01:31:01,020
So now I'm gonna shoot you, and it'll disappear.

2442
01:31:01,020 --> 01:31:04,620
And he shoots one of the Earthling guys,

2443
01:31:04,620 --> 01:31:06,220
and he's like, wow, that's amazing,

2444
01:31:06,220 --> 01:31:07,980
it's all still here, all of you guys.

2445
01:31:07,980 --> 01:31:10,220
So he kills the rest of the three of them,

2446
01:31:10,220 --> 01:31:11,180
and they're all still there.

2447
01:31:11,180 --> 01:31:15,140
And he's like, wow, this is amazing how crazy they are.

2448
01:31:15,140 --> 01:31:17,140
Wow, that's nuts.

2449
01:31:17,140 --> 01:31:19,460
The ship is still here, their insanity is still.

2450
01:31:19,460 --> 01:31:22,220
So he sees the fucking spaceship,

2451
01:31:22,220 --> 01:31:27,140
and he goes, wow, you guys are so fucking crazy

2452
01:31:27,140 --> 01:31:29,060
that I'm even seeing the spaceship.

2453
01:31:29,060 --> 01:31:32,620
And then he kills all of them, and then he still sees it,

2454
01:31:32,620 --> 01:31:35,580
and he goes, that is some good craziness that you guys.

2455
01:31:35,580 --> 01:31:37,740
Yeah, and he starts shooting their bodies,

2456
01:31:37,740 --> 01:31:39,620
and he's like, oh my god, they're so crazy.

2457
01:31:39,620 --> 01:31:42,860
This is fucking crazy, you guys are fucking nuts.

2458
01:31:42,860 --> 01:31:45,460
Relos, you guys are so silly,

2459
01:31:45,460 --> 01:31:48,260
and he's just putting their faces

2460
01:31:48,260 --> 01:31:50,060
into bloody pulp against the floor.

2461
01:31:50,060 --> 01:31:52,860
And he's like, wow, they're crazy, and it's spread to me,

2462
01:31:52,860 --> 01:31:55,220
so now I'm crazy, and then it kills himself.

2463
01:31:56,180 --> 01:31:58,060
He's fucking their corpses, he's like,

2464
01:31:58,060 --> 01:32:01,820
you guys are so fucking silly, you silly little crazy,

2465
01:32:01,820 --> 01:32:04,100
you're just smashing, fucking going nuts.

2466
01:32:04,100 --> 01:32:07,140
And then he's like, oh, I guess I'm the crazy one now,

2467
01:32:07,140 --> 01:32:09,340
because their bodies are still here, the ship's still here,

2468
01:32:09,340 --> 01:32:11,700
and they're all dead, and then he kills himself.

2469
01:32:11,700 --> 01:32:14,260
Wow. And that's just one chapter.

2470
01:32:14,260 --> 01:32:16,900
Wow, in my mind, though, he looks like Marvin.

2471
01:32:16,900 --> 01:32:18,300
There's just no way. Who's Marvin?

2472
01:32:18,300 --> 01:32:19,620
Marvin the Martian. Oh, I'm the Martian, yeah.

2473
01:32:19,620 --> 01:32:22,220
I pictured a kind of skinny job of the hud,

2474
01:32:22,220 --> 01:32:24,860
the slug guy from- I was just thinking humans.

2475
01:32:25,900 --> 01:32:26,700
I was thinking- Was anyone else

2476
01:32:26,700 --> 01:32:28,100
just thinking humans?

2477
01:32:28,100 --> 01:32:29,740
Yeah. I was thinking brown skinned,

2478
01:32:29,740 --> 01:32:33,260
gold-eyed humans, human-like, human-like beings.

2479
01:32:33,260 --> 01:32:36,660
But there's a really dark one about,

2480
01:32:36,660 --> 01:32:40,660
so later in the book, everyone's settling on Mars,

2481
01:32:40,660 --> 01:32:43,820
so Mars is kind of like a gold rush kind of deal.

2482
01:32:43,820 --> 01:32:45,180
There's little settlements everywhere.

2483
01:32:45,180 --> 01:32:46,980
Sure. And then Earth goes to war,

2484
01:32:46,980 --> 01:32:49,020
so then everyone on Mars flies back to Earth,

2485
01:32:49,020 --> 01:32:52,180
except for a couple people, and there's this one guy,

2486
01:32:52,180 --> 01:32:53,540
and he was out in the mountains,

2487
01:32:53,540 --> 01:32:55,820
he didn't know what happened, and everyone's gone.

2488
01:32:55,820 --> 01:32:58,420
And he's trying to call numbers, and it's a chick,

2489
01:32:58,420 --> 01:33:01,500
and he's like, oh my God, there's only one woman

2490
01:33:01,500 --> 01:33:02,660
left on Mars, I have to go find her.

2491
01:33:02,660 --> 01:33:06,900
He finds her, it's a fat ugly bitch, so he runs away.

2492
01:33:06,900 --> 01:33:09,980
But yeah, everyone goes to Earth, Earth goes to war,

2493
01:33:09,980 --> 01:33:12,900
everyone on Earth dies, and then there's just a whole chapter

2494
01:33:12,900 --> 01:33:15,940
about an automatic house that's just operating,

2495
01:33:15,940 --> 01:33:17,180
like a smart house.

2496
01:33:17,180 --> 01:33:19,780
It's like making breakfast, it's cleaning the floors,

2497
01:33:19,780 --> 01:33:24,180
and then it describes outside, and there's just like,

2498
01:33:24,180 --> 01:33:26,260
radioactive shadows of the family

2499
01:33:26,260 --> 01:33:28,620
that got blown away outside,

2500
01:33:28,620 --> 01:33:30,020
and it's just this house just operating.

2501
01:33:30,020 --> 01:33:32,900
It's like a long drawn out version of,

2502
01:33:32,900 --> 01:33:34,620
you know how the Mars Rover sings itself

2503
01:33:34,620 --> 01:33:35,620
happy birthday every year?

2504
01:33:35,620 --> 01:33:37,300
It's like a long drawn out version of that,

2505
01:33:37,300 --> 01:33:38,140
but it's a house.

2506
01:33:38,140 --> 01:33:40,140
Oh, I didn't know that the Mars Rover sings

2507
01:33:40,140 --> 01:33:41,900
happy birthday to itself every year.

2508
01:33:41,900 --> 01:33:43,340
That's kind of creepy and sad.

2509
01:33:43,340 --> 01:33:44,220
Yeah.

2510
01:33:44,220 --> 01:33:47,180
That's weird, do we pay attention to it when it does?

2511
01:33:47,180 --> 01:33:50,220
Or is it just, or does it just shut everyone out,

2512
01:33:50,220 --> 01:33:52,060
and then it just plays, oh, it only plays

2513
01:33:52,060 --> 01:33:54,340
like the happy birthday tea noise.

2514
01:33:54,340 --> 01:33:56,140
Yeah, something.

2515
01:33:56,140 --> 01:33:59,220
Yeah, every chapter of this book is amazing.

2516
01:33:59,220 --> 01:34:01,180
It's all their own little self-contained stories,

2517
01:34:01,180 --> 01:34:03,580
but it's all connected, it's all in the same timeline.

2518
01:34:03,580 --> 01:34:06,460
It was like a collection that came out in 1950.

2519
01:34:06,460 --> 01:34:08,820
Short stories that are connected to each other.

2520
01:34:08,820 --> 01:34:10,580
Yeah, yeah, it's just going over time,

2521
01:34:10,580 --> 01:34:15,140
like, okay, August 2000, it starts in like 1999.

2522
01:34:15,140 --> 01:34:15,980
Nice.

2523
01:34:15,980 --> 01:34:18,860
And it goes to just past right now.

2524
01:34:18,860 --> 01:34:21,820
I think the last chapter is 2026 or something.

2525
01:34:21,820 --> 01:34:23,580
Did Prince want a party like it's 1999?

2526
01:34:23,580 --> 01:34:24,420
Yeah.

2527
01:34:24,420 --> 01:34:25,260
Okay, not Eddie Murphy.

2528
01:34:25,260 --> 01:34:26,580
In this universe,

2529
01:34:27,540 --> 01:34:28,780
Earth wanted to party all the time.

2530
01:34:28,780 --> 01:34:32,740
Earth got, Earth is like all weird and like super,

2531
01:34:32,740 --> 01:34:34,260
it kind of relates to now.

2532
01:34:34,260 --> 01:34:35,780
It's like they got rid of all books.

2533
01:34:35,780 --> 01:34:38,020
There's no books, there's no fantasy, nothing.

2534
01:34:38,020 --> 01:34:38,860
And there's a guy who was rich.

2535
01:34:38,860 --> 01:34:41,420
Ray Bradbury's got a theme going on with the,

2536
01:34:41,420 --> 01:34:42,260
he thinks that- Taking the books away, yeah.

2537
01:34:42,260 --> 01:34:44,700
He thinks the future of America is gonna take away books,

2538
01:34:44,700 --> 01:34:47,300
because he also wrote Fahrenheit 451,

2539
01:34:47,300 --> 01:34:49,100
which is about a group of,

2540
01:34:49,100 --> 01:34:52,220
about a guy whose job it is to burn books.

2541
01:34:52,220 --> 01:34:54,980
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, so there's a guy, a rich guy,

2542
01:34:54,980 --> 01:34:57,020
he knows all the books and everything.

2543
01:34:57,020 --> 01:35:01,340
He brings a ship and builds this haunted house

2544
01:35:01,340 --> 01:35:02,780
where he's gonna have a haunted house party

2545
01:35:02,780 --> 01:35:03,940
with all the creatures and everything.

2546
01:35:03,940 --> 01:35:04,780
This is fucking insane.

2547
01:35:04,780 --> 01:35:07,780
And one of the Bookburner guys shows up.

2548
01:35:07,780 --> 01:35:08,980
And- Oh, really?

2549
01:35:08,980 --> 01:35:10,380
Yeah, yeah, and he-

2550
01:35:10,380 --> 01:35:12,980
Does Ray Bradbury have a fucking multi-verse?

2551
01:35:12,980 --> 01:35:13,820
What the fuck?

2552
01:35:13,820 --> 01:35:15,260
He brings him in the house,

2553
01:35:15,260 --> 01:35:17,940
and he sees all these haunted vampire robots,

2554
01:35:17,940 --> 01:35:21,660
and robot this, and fairies, and all this horror stuff.

2555
01:35:21,660 --> 01:35:22,740
And he's like, oh my God,

2556
01:35:22,740 --> 01:35:24,540
we're gonna destroy this entire house.

2557
01:35:24,540 --> 01:35:25,620
And he's like, I bet you will,

2558
01:35:25,620 --> 01:35:26,860
but come take a look at it, you know?

2559
01:35:26,860 --> 01:35:27,940
And blah, blah, blah.

2560
01:35:27,940 --> 01:35:29,300
And he shows him this monkey.

2561
01:35:29,300 --> 01:35:30,140
He's like, wow, this is,

2562
01:35:30,140 --> 01:35:31,940
so you're still gonna burn it down, right?

2563
01:35:31,940 --> 01:35:32,780
He's like, yeah.

2564
01:35:32,780 --> 01:35:33,700
He's like, all right, go.

2565
01:35:33,700 --> 01:35:35,820
And then the monkey kills the guy,

2566
01:35:35,820 --> 01:35:37,860
and then they throw him in an incinerator.

2567
01:35:37,860 --> 01:35:39,460
And then his robot butler comes back

2568
01:35:39,460 --> 01:35:41,460
with a handful of nuts and bolts and cogs.

2569
01:35:41,460 --> 01:35:42,460
And it's like, oh my God,

2570
01:35:42,460 --> 01:35:44,780
he sent a robot instead of himself.

2571
01:35:44,780 --> 01:35:46,660
But we already sent a robot of him back

2572
01:35:46,660 --> 01:35:48,060
to say everything was cool.

2573
01:35:49,820 --> 01:35:51,660
Ray Donald Bradbury.

2574
01:35:52,740 --> 01:35:53,580
So, wait.

2575
01:35:53,580 --> 01:35:58,580
They sent a robot to the haunted house.

2576
01:35:58,620 --> 01:36:00,500
The haunted house people then dropped

2577
01:36:00,500 --> 01:36:03,500
secret assassin monkey on the robot

2578
01:36:03,500 --> 01:36:06,500
when they realized that he was gonna destroy their house.

2579
01:36:06,500 --> 01:36:08,260
When they're going to dispose the body,

2580
01:36:08,260 --> 01:36:10,100
they realize, oh shit, it's a robot.

2581
01:36:10,100 --> 01:36:13,500
Or they had already made another robot

2582
01:36:13,500 --> 01:36:16,940
and sent it back to where it's going.

2583
01:36:16,940 --> 01:36:19,540
So as far as that guy knows,

2584
01:36:19,540 --> 01:36:21,300
who gets his robot version back,

2585
01:36:21,300 --> 01:36:24,780
he might be confused that that's his robot version.

2586
01:36:24,780 --> 01:36:27,900
And then the real Bookburner guy shows up,

2587
01:36:27,900 --> 01:36:29,180
and he's already having the party.

2588
01:36:29,180 --> 01:36:30,500
There's a bunch of people from Earth

2589
01:36:30,500 --> 01:36:33,260
that are having a masquerade kinda,

2590
01:36:33,260 --> 01:36:36,220
like one guy's a vampire, one guy's a Halloween party.

2591
01:36:36,220 --> 01:36:37,820
Like a Halloween party kinda thing.

2592
01:36:37,820 --> 01:36:40,980
He brings the real Bookburner guy in,

2593
01:36:40,980 --> 01:36:43,800
and I never read any Edgar Allan Poe,

2594
01:36:43,800 --> 01:36:47,960
but basically he's like, okay, just go into this room.

2595
01:36:47,960 --> 01:36:51,420
And then he gets the guy chained up, chains him up,

2596
01:36:51,420 --> 01:36:54,220
and then he's bricking him up in the room.

2597
01:36:54,220 --> 01:36:56,500
He's like, oh, if you read,

2598
01:36:56,500 --> 01:36:59,660
you didn't actually read the books you were burning,

2599
01:36:59,660 --> 01:37:01,460
but see, if you did, you would know

2600
01:37:01,460 --> 01:37:03,020
that this is an Edgar Allan Poe thing.

2601
01:37:03,020 --> 01:37:05,500
He bricks him up in the room and then destroys the house,

2602
01:37:05,500 --> 01:37:06,980
kills everybody inside of it.

2603
01:37:06,980 --> 01:37:08,140
That's legit.

2604
01:37:08,140 --> 01:37:11,400
Okay, and I know because books and how they're written,

2605
01:37:11,400 --> 01:37:13,180
I bet you that was like kind of a really,

2606
01:37:13,180 --> 01:37:16,660
kind of a just, cool fucking scene

2607
01:37:16,660 --> 01:37:18,700
where the guy's like, if you had known,

2608
01:37:18,700 --> 01:37:20,800
if you had just read Edgar Allan Poe,

2609
01:37:20,800 --> 01:37:22,700
then you wouldn't be doomed to repeat history,

2610
01:37:22,700 --> 01:37:23,660
you fucking monster.

2611
01:37:23,660 --> 01:37:25,620
You're getting rid of our literature or whatever.

2612
01:37:25,620 --> 01:37:27,300
So now I'm gonna give you this poetic,

2613
01:37:27,300 --> 01:37:29,940
dark Edgar Allan Poe style death, right?

2614
01:37:29,940 --> 01:37:31,700
But the way you described it right now,

2615
01:37:31,700 --> 01:37:33,020
in my mind, he's just like,

2616
01:37:33,020 --> 01:37:35,020
you didn't even read Edgar Allan Poe, did you?

2617
01:37:35,020 --> 01:37:38,220
Now you're gonna die like Edgar Allan Poe, dude.

2618
01:37:38,220 --> 01:37:40,140
He's just putting bricks.

2619
01:37:40,140 --> 01:37:42,460
The guy's just like, what do you mean?

2620
01:37:42,460 --> 01:37:45,980
And he's like, I'm gonna Edgar Allan Poe you right now.

2621
01:37:45,980 --> 01:37:48,500
You just beat a douchebag about it.

2622
01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:50,260
This version I have of the book,

2623
01:37:50,260 --> 01:37:52,060
it's only like 180 pages.

2624
01:37:52,060 --> 01:37:53,740
So you could read this in an afternoon.

2625
01:37:53,740 --> 01:37:57,500
Oh, I'm for fucking sure gonna read that this week

2626
01:37:57,500 --> 01:38:00,100
because now I will say this.

2627
01:38:01,380 --> 01:38:05,380
Not often do I have to stop a book

2628
01:38:05,380 --> 01:38:08,440
because I need to be in the mindset to read it.

2629
01:38:08,440 --> 01:38:10,980
Like I'm very cool with reading

2630
01:38:10,980 --> 01:38:13,200
just about anything at any time.

2631
01:38:13,200 --> 01:38:15,320
But there's every now and then,

2632
01:38:15,320 --> 01:38:18,700
depending on like when I read my friend's autobiography

2633
01:38:18,700 --> 01:38:19,980
that she put out, her memoirs,

2634
01:38:19,980 --> 01:38:21,940
I had to be in the right mindset for that

2635
01:38:21,940 --> 01:38:23,940
because I didn't wanna rush through that.

2636
01:38:25,460 --> 01:38:27,500
I only put it on 1.2 speed.

2637
01:38:27,500 --> 01:38:29,740
No, I didn't put it, I wanted to hear it

2638
01:38:29,740 --> 01:38:31,220
as she meant for it to come out.

2639
01:38:31,220 --> 01:38:35,620
But the one that you recommended, the Flesh.

2640
01:38:35,620 --> 01:38:36,460
Tender is the Flesh.

2641
01:38:36,460 --> 01:38:37,940
Tender is the Flesh is one of those ones

2642
01:38:37,940 --> 01:38:40,820
where I got about maybe like five chapters in,

2643
01:38:40,820 --> 01:38:42,220
three or four chapters in where I was just like,

2644
01:38:42,220 --> 01:38:43,820
you know what?

2645
01:38:43,820 --> 01:38:45,660
I need to be in a better head space for this.

2646
01:38:45,660 --> 01:38:47,380
And then like a more-

2647
01:38:47,380 --> 01:38:48,580
What part did you get to?

2648
01:38:48,580 --> 01:38:51,020
I don't know, there's something coming.

2649
01:38:51,020 --> 01:38:53,700
Oh, I mean, he was still,

2650
01:38:53,700 --> 01:38:55,940
I think maybe it wasn't even three or four chapters,

2651
01:38:55,940 --> 01:38:59,220
but he was just showing like a foreign guy,

2652
01:38:59,220 --> 01:39:00,580
the process of-

2653
01:39:00,580 --> 01:39:01,740
Oh, okay, you're not that far.

2654
01:39:01,740 --> 01:39:02,660
Yeah, it's not that far.

2655
01:39:02,660 --> 01:39:05,780
But once he was describing the process

2656
01:39:05,780 --> 01:39:08,300
of what it would be like to work at a human meat factory,

2657
01:39:08,300 --> 01:39:12,620
I was like, hmm, this is something that I wanna feel

2658
01:39:12,620 --> 01:39:15,700
a little bit darker inside my head to really get into it.

2659
01:39:15,700 --> 01:39:19,220
I think I had just gotten done reading Something Light.

2660
01:39:19,220 --> 01:39:20,340
Like I know, you know what it was?

2661
01:39:20,340 --> 01:39:22,500
It was like, no, this is what it was.

2662
01:39:22,500 --> 01:39:24,340
You recommended that book, Tender is the Flesh.

2663
01:39:24,340 --> 01:39:25,180
I'm like, cool.

2664
01:39:25,180 --> 01:39:29,100
So I paused my Buffy the Vampire Slayer podcast,

2665
01:39:29,100 --> 01:39:31,320
just having a delightful time listening to these two girls

2666
01:39:31,320 --> 01:39:33,100
talk about Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

2667
01:39:33,100 --> 01:39:34,500
I'm like, oh, that was wonderful.

2668
01:39:34,500 --> 01:39:35,740
I love the romance of that.

2669
01:39:35,740 --> 01:39:36,780
And then it's just like,

2670
01:39:36,780 --> 01:39:39,340
I work at a human meat processing plant.

2671
01:39:39,340 --> 01:39:41,900
My name is something foreign.

2672
01:39:41,900 --> 01:39:45,980
And I refer to them as heads.

2673
01:39:45,980 --> 01:39:47,900
I refer to them as meat.

2674
01:39:47,900 --> 01:39:49,860
I refer to them as anything other than humans,

2675
01:39:49,860 --> 01:39:50,780
which they're not.

2676
01:39:51,820 --> 01:39:53,700
Oh, fucking dude, so dark.

2677
01:39:53,700 --> 01:39:54,900
One of the darkest books.

2678
01:39:55,940 --> 01:39:57,180
Okay, great.

2679
01:39:57,180 --> 01:39:59,140
That was a long recommendation.

2680
01:39:59,140 --> 01:40:00,740
You gotta catch up on some book episodes.

2681
01:40:00,740 --> 01:40:02,620
If you get Martian's done, I'll do that with you.

2682
01:40:02,620 --> 01:40:04,460
Oh yeah, no, we'll do Tender is the Flesh

2683
01:40:04,460 --> 01:40:06,820
and the Martian Chronicles.

2684
01:40:06,820 --> 01:40:08,940
And you know what?

2685
01:40:08,940 --> 01:40:09,780
Fuck it.

2686
01:40:09,780 --> 01:40:11,460
We should also do John Carter of Mars

2687
01:40:11,460 --> 01:40:13,660
and just do a double Mars episode.

2688
01:40:13,660 --> 01:40:16,180
Because I think that's also a very short book.

2689
01:40:16,180 --> 01:40:19,780
It's about a Confederate soldier, Confederate,

2690
01:40:19,780 --> 01:40:20,900
who ex-Confederate soldier,

2691
01:40:20,900 --> 01:40:22,700
like a retired-ish Confederate soldier.

2692
01:40:22,700 --> 01:40:24,420
I can't jump from book to book right now.

2693
01:40:24,420 --> 01:40:26,800
I'm about to read Amy Poehler's Yes, Please.

2694
01:40:26,800 --> 01:40:27,640
That's a good one.

2695
01:40:27,640 --> 01:40:28,940
So I'm gonna read, I'm reading that.

2696
01:40:28,940 --> 01:40:29,780
It's kinda long.

2697
01:40:29,780 --> 01:40:32,900
So Tina and Tina Fey's, the girl,

2698
01:40:32,900 --> 01:40:35,140
well, not girl, boss, that's the other one.

2699
01:40:35,140 --> 01:40:39,180
But Tina Fey's, I think it has bossy pants, is also really good.

2700
01:40:39,180 --> 01:40:41,020
So Amy Poehler's and Tina Fey's,

2701
01:40:41,020 --> 01:40:44,060
they both of course have excellent.

2702
01:40:44,060 --> 01:40:47,300
I also, you know whose autobiography I liked was,

2703
01:40:47,300 --> 01:40:48,140
what's her face?

2704
01:40:49,540 --> 01:40:51,340
The Hot One, Anna Kendrick.

2705
01:40:53,340 --> 01:40:55,060
Anna Kendrick, that's her name, right?

2706
01:40:55,060 --> 01:40:56,780
You know who I'm talking about, from Twilight?

2707
01:40:56,780 --> 01:40:57,980
Doesn't matter.

2708
01:40:57,980 --> 01:40:58,980
She has a great one.

2709
01:41:02,900 --> 01:41:04,440
Doesn't matter, but it's good.

2710
01:41:04,440 --> 01:41:09,060
Also, the guy who plays Wesley in Princess Bride,

2711
01:41:09,060 --> 01:41:12,180
Cary Elwes, As You Wish, that one about,

2712
01:41:12,180 --> 01:41:15,180
all about Princess Bride and him going on ATVs

2713
01:41:15,180 --> 01:41:17,620
with Andre the Giant and breaking his leg

2714
01:41:17,620 --> 01:41:20,220
and having to come back and lie to the director in ship

2715
01:41:20,220 --> 01:41:22,300
because he didn't wanna lose his job.

2716
01:41:22,300 --> 01:41:25,460
You know how long it took them to choreograph

2717
01:41:25,460 --> 01:41:26,380
that fight scene?

2718
01:41:26,380 --> 01:41:28,980
It was like eight or nine months of the actual shooting.

2719
01:41:28,980 --> 01:41:30,580
It was one of the last things they shot

2720
01:41:30,580 --> 01:41:34,500
because it took them every day after recording other scenes.

2721
01:41:34,500 --> 01:41:39,500
Like, Inigo Montoya and Cary Elwes would go practice

2722
01:41:39,780 --> 01:41:42,180
that fucking fight scene that they have

2723
01:41:42,180 --> 01:41:43,580
and where they switch hands

2724
01:41:43,580 --> 01:41:46,160
and the whole doing the Olympic,

2725
01:41:46,160 --> 01:41:47,740
like the spinning and doing a jump,

2726
01:41:47,740 --> 01:41:50,980
that was like thrown in sort of like last minute.

2727
01:41:50,980 --> 01:41:51,820
They liked it.

2728
01:41:51,820 --> 01:41:52,800
It's just cool.

2729
01:41:52,800 --> 01:41:55,580
So I recommend, because I didn't have one,

2730
01:41:56,500 --> 01:41:57,740
I was gonna say Deadpool Wolverine

2731
01:41:57,740 --> 01:41:58,900
because it is that good.

2732
01:41:58,900 --> 01:42:02,220
I just, yeah, I recommend picking up a book.

2733
01:42:02,220 --> 01:42:03,180
I don't really care what it is.

2734
01:42:03,180 --> 01:42:05,580
Just find a book that sounds interesting.

2735
01:42:05,580 --> 01:42:08,740
The way I like to do it is think of a,

2736
01:42:08,740 --> 01:42:11,340
if you're not an avid reader already,

2737
01:42:11,340 --> 01:42:16,000
a great way to start is pick a movie that you love

2738
01:42:16,000 --> 01:42:18,500
and read the book that it's based on.

2739
01:42:18,500 --> 01:42:20,500
And you can, that's the,

2740
01:42:20,500 --> 01:42:24,900
because it's a great way for you to like,

2741
01:42:26,820 --> 01:42:28,700
see the differences between a book and a movie,

2742
01:42:28,700 --> 01:42:29,540
which I think is-

2743
01:42:29,540 --> 01:42:30,860
Piss you off, yeah.

2744
01:42:30,860 --> 01:42:31,980
Either piss, I know,

2745
01:42:31,980 --> 01:42:35,980
I'm starting to try to find it to be more fun if I can.

2746
01:42:35,980 --> 01:42:38,720
Just a different interpretation of the same story

2747
01:42:38,720 --> 01:42:41,660
because I think that's what like threw off a lot of people

2748
01:42:41,660 --> 01:42:43,040
when the MCU started off.

2749
01:42:43,040 --> 01:42:45,540
They're like, Iron Man doesn't help,

2750
01:42:45,540 --> 01:42:48,060
he doesn't go to Iraq, or like whatever,

2751
01:42:48,060 --> 01:42:51,020
but it's like, no, this Iron Man does.

2752
01:42:51,020 --> 01:42:53,260
The MCU Iron Man is a different Iron Man.

2753
01:42:53,260 --> 01:42:55,660
I think it took a lot of people time to realize

2754
01:42:55,660 --> 01:42:58,860
that it's not gonna be comic accurate depictions.

2755
01:42:58,860 --> 01:42:59,700
They're not just gonna take,

2756
01:42:59,700 --> 01:43:02,860
that's what the DC animated universe is for.

2757
01:43:02,860 --> 01:43:07,460
If you want direct comic book to animated movie,

2758
01:43:07,460 --> 01:43:08,500
that's what you get.

2759
01:43:08,500 --> 01:43:10,180
And there's hundreds of them on,

2760
01:43:11,280 --> 01:43:12,980
they're so good.

2761
01:43:12,980 --> 01:43:14,660
So anyway, that's my recommendation, I guess.

2762
01:43:14,660 --> 01:43:16,980
Two things to take away from this episode is

2763
01:43:16,980 --> 01:43:17,980
if you're a piece of shit,

2764
01:43:17,980 --> 01:43:20,060
unalive yourself and read a book.

2765
01:43:21,740 --> 01:43:22,580
Pick up a book,

2766
01:43:22,580 --> 01:43:24,740
maybe you won't have to fucking unalive yourself.

2767
01:43:25,860 --> 01:43:28,860
I've been playing a Lego Star Wars Skywalker Saga

2768
01:43:28,860 --> 01:43:30,180
with my five year old.

2769
01:43:30,180 --> 01:43:31,020
Oh, that's a good one.

2770
01:43:31,020 --> 01:43:32,660
And occasionally the three year old

2771
01:43:32,660 --> 01:43:35,220
will kinda hop in too and play a little bit.

2772
01:43:35,220 --> 01:43:38,060
Those games are a lot of fun to play with your kids.

2773
01:43:38,060 --> 01:43:40,300
They've been having weird arguments with my five year old

2774
01:43:40,300 --> 01:43:42,900
about what really is Star Wars and what isn't,

2775
01:43:42,900 --> 01:43:46,060
and for some odd reason, he thinks he knows better than me.

2776
01:43:46,060 --> 01:43:49,220
And yeah, so that's what I've been doing.

2777
01:43:49,220 --> 01:43:51,900
What's an example of like,

2778
01:43:51,900 --> 01:43:54,940
what is Star Wars and what isn't Star Wars?

2779
01:43:54,940 --> 01:43:56,020
From a five year old book.

2780
01:43:56,020 --> 01:43:59,620
So four, episode four, you don't start with four,

2781
01:43:59,620 --> 01:44:02,500
you start with five, and then you watch six,

2782
01:44:02,500 --> 01:44:04,380
and then you watch four in his mind.

2783
01:44:04,380 --> 01:44:05,260
Yeah, I get that.

2784
01:44:05,260 --> 01:44:08,540
One, two, and three are kinda eh for him.

2785
01:44:08,540 --> 01:44:11,980
Seven, eight, nine do not exist, which I'm okay with.

2786
01:44:11,980 --> 01:44:13,700
Okay, what about the side properties?

2787
01:44:13,700 --> 01:44:15,180
Is he a Clone Wars boy?

2788
01:44:15,180 --> 01:44:16,460
He doesn't watch any of that.

2789
01:44:16,460 --> 01:44:17,300
And or?

2790
01:44:17,300 --> 01:44:20,580
His absolute favorite is Empire Strikes Back.

2791
01:44:20,580 --> 01:44:21,420
Listen, the-

2792
01:44:21,420 --> 01:44:22,260
Okay.

2793
01:44:22,260 --> 01:44:23,100
I've said this.

2794
01:44:23,100 --> 01:44:24,240
Yeah, okay.

2795
01:44:24,240 --> 01:44:26,060
It's not bad. When he's being bad,

2796
01:44:26,060 --> 01:44:28,340
do you make him sit and watch-

2797
01:44:28,340 --> 01:44:29,460
Watch him watch one.

2798
01:44:29,460 --> 01:44:30,680
The holiday, yeah.

2799
01:44:30,680 --> 01:44:31,820
The holiday special.

2800
01:44:31,820 --> 01:44:33,380
You make him watch the Acolyte?

2801
01:44:33,380 --> 01:44:34,220
Yeah.

2802
01:44:34,220 --> 01:44:36,460
This is your real punishment.

2803
01:44:36,460 --> 01:44:37,740
Is it that bad?

2804
01:44:37,740 --> 01:44:39,580
Yeah, I heard it's fucking terrible.

2805
01:44:39,580 --> 01:44:43,260
And it just shits in the mouth of all the lore

2806
01:44:43,260 --> 01:44:44,100
and canon and all that.

2807
01:44:44,100 --> 01:44:46,980
The key word there is, I've heard,

2808
01:44:46,980 --> 01:44:49,280
what's happening with the Acolyte is,

2809
01:44:49,280 --> 01:44:52,140
because it's female based, it's getting paid online.

2810
01:44:52,140 --> 01:44:52,980
Got it.

2811
01:44:52,980 --> 01:44:54,820
It's not as bad as what they say though.

2812
01:44:54,820 --> 01:44:55,860
Why is Mundy in there?

2813
01:44:55,860 --> 01:44:56,780
Why is he there?

2814
01:44:56,780 --> 01:44:57,980
Why is Mundy there?

2815
01:44:57,980 --> 01:44:59,540
He's not alive yet.

2816
01:44:59,540 --> 01:45:01,500
Like so many fucking things are just wrong.

2817
01:45:01,500 --> 01:45:03,980
It's just, and Craig, it's not the fucking girl power shit.

2818
01:45:03,980 --> 01:45:07,340
I love Padme and Ahsoka and Leia

2819
01:45:07,340 --> 01:45:10,780
and many, the bitch from Rogue One who gets obliterated.

2820
01:45:10,780 --> 01:45:12,500
I love all those, it's not a woman thing.

2821
01:45:12,500 --> 01:45:14,780
It's just bad storytelling, a bad story.

2822
01:45:14,780 --> 01:45:15,620
Things that don't make sense.

2823
01:45:15,620 --> 01:45:16,540
You have not watched it.

2824
01:45:16,540 --> 01:45:18,740
Mundy, the guy with the fucking cock for a head.

2825
01:45:18,740 --> 01:45:20,480
This is the only thing that drives me insane

2826
01:45:20,480 --> 01:45:22,700
is when people who have not watched something,

2827
01:45:22,700 --> 01:45:24,140
have an opinion on it.

2828
01:45:24,140 --> 01:45:25,740
I haven't watched that,

2829
01:45:26,980 --> 01:45:27,980
not, I get what you're saying,

2830
01:45:27,980 --> 01:45:31,180
but I also haven't watched that movie

2831
01:45:31,180 --> 01:45:33,700
that praises the KKK.

2832
01:45:34,580 --> 01:45:36,420
Remember that one, the,

2833
01:45:36,420 --> 01:45:37,340
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

2834
01:45:37,340 --> 01:45:40,640
but I'm trying to say is the one that was the,

2835
01:45:40,640 --> 01:45:44,780
up until the Sound of Music was the number one movie

2836
01:45:44,780 --> 01:45:45,620
in America.

2837
01:45:46,580 --> 01:45:47,780
It was the, what's it called?

2838
01:45:47,780 --> 01:45:50,380
The Great, the Great Nation,

2839
01:45:50,380 --> 01:45:53,140
the Great Nation Divided or?

2840
01:45:53,140 --> 01:45:54,140
Something of a Nation?

2841
01:45:54,140 --> 01:45:56,620
Something of a Nation, of a Nation,

2842
01:45:56,620 --> 01:45:58,260
Birth of a Nation.

2843
01:45:58,260 --> 01:46:03,260
Birth of a Nation, which is a pro KKK propaganda movie

2844
01:46:05,140 --> 01:46:07,820
that had a full budget that was made by like,

2845
01:46:07,820 --> 01:46:09,940
Purdue, like Hollywood level quality.

2846
01:46:09,940 --> 01:46:10,780
Like Disney or whatever.

2847
01:46:10,780 --> 01:46:12,020
Like yeah.

2848
01:46:12,020 --> 01:46:15,980
That was the number one played across the fucking country

2849
01:46:15,980 --> 01:46:18,300
nonstop, like they just kept playing,

2850
01:46:18,300 --> 01:46:20,420
go to the, hey, you want to go see Birth of a Nation

2851
01:46:20,420 --> 01:46:21,260
again this week?

2852
01:46:21,260 --> 01:46:23,540
Sure. I love the, I love the moving pictures.

2853
01:46:23,540 --> 01:46:24,380
It's great.

2854
01:46:24,380 --> 01:46:27,140
And those guys in the white suits look so great.

2855
01:46:27,140 --> 01:46:28,380
You know, that's what they're thinking of themselves

2856
01:46:28,380 --> 01:46:29,660
back in the day.

2857
01:46:29,660 --> 01:46:32,860
Well, I know what my pick next week's gonna be.

2858
01:46:32,860 --> 01:46:37,540
But I haven't seen it to know that I'm not gonna like

2859
01:46:37,540 --> 01:46:40,980
the subject matter, but does that mean it's a bad movie

2860
01:46:40,980 --> 01:46:42,340
because they don't like the subject matter?

2861
01:46:42,340 --> 01:46:43,700
Exactly. That's my point.

2862
01:46:43,700 --> 01:46:45,560
Is it well done?

2863
01:46:45,560 --> 01:46:47,080
I don't know.

2864
01:46:47,080 --> 01:46:49,140
I would hope not in my mind.

2865
01:46:49,140 --> 01:46:49,980
I hope.

2866
01:46:49,980 --> 01:46:51,020
The fight scenes are cool, I guess,

2867
01:46:51,020 --> 01:46:52,900
but it's just the story.

2868
01:46:52,900 --> 01:46:55,220
It's like not even, it's this shit story

2869
01:46:55,220 --> 01:46:56,540
with cool fight scenes.

2870
01:46:56,540 --> 01:46:58,180
Well, I think my point is that everything

2871
01:46:58,180 --> 01:46:59,500
doesn't have to be canon.

2872
01:46:59,500 --> 01:47:00,420
It doesn't matter.

2873
01:47:00,420 --> 01:47:03,860
We were just talking about that with otherwise the MCU.

2874
01:47:03,860 --> 01:47:05,900
If you wanted to take the MCU and compare it

2875
01:47:05,900 --> 01:47:08,460
to the comic books, it doesn't fit canon.

2876
01:47:08,460 --> 01:47:10,140
Well, no, that's the cinematic universe

2877
01:47:10,140 --> 01:47:10,980
in the comic book universe.

2878
01:47:10,980 --> 01:47:13,540
And this is the television universes versus the movies.

2879
01:47:13,540 --> 01:47:14,380
That's my whole point.

2880
01:47:14,380 --> 01:47:15,200
The movies and the,

2881
01:47:15,200 --> 01:47:17,820
well, but yeah, Star Wars is all connected.

2882
01:47:17,820 --> 01:47:18,660
Well, you just wanna say,

2883
01:47:18,660 --> 01:47:20,980
then why is it the MCU all connected?

2884
01:47:20,980 --> 01:47:22,380
No, because well.

2885
01:47:22,380 --> 01:47:23,220
See what I'm saying?

2886
01:47:23,220 --> 01:47:24,900
I'm just saying you're making different rules

2887
01:47:24,900 --> 01:47:25,740
for different properties.

2888
01:47:25,740 --> 01:47:28,300
No, no, but specifically for Disney.

2889
01:47:28,300 --> 01:47:30,060
Well, no, specifically for Star Wars.

2890
01:47:30,060 --> 01:47:33,540
Star Wars has always been, there's Star Wars,

2891
01:47:33,540 --> 01:47:37,860
the movies, the games, the books, the whatever,

2892
01:47:37,860 --> 01:47:40,900
they're all connected until Disney came in and said,

2893
01:47:40,900 --> 01:47:43,700
we're gonna retcon and make these ones not,

2894
01:47:43,700 --> 01:47:45,000
but now we have these books.

2895
01:47:45,000 --> 01:47:47,780
But according to Disney, who owns Star Wars now,

2896
01:47:47,780 --> 01:47:50,940
the Vader comics, the games,

2897
01:47:50,940 --> 01:47:55,820
like the Calcastus game or whatever,

2898
01:47:55,820 --> 01:47:57,980
those are canon to Star Wars.

2899
01:47:57,980 --> 01:48:00,060
The TV shows are canon to Star Wars.

2900
01:48:00,060 --> 01:48:02,940
The books that have come out recently,

2901
01:48:02,940 --> 01:48:05,820
the last whatever, 10 years, whatever, are canon.

2902
01:48:05,820 --> 01:48:10,820
But with Marvel, it's different because Marvel just has,

2903
01:48:10,940 --> 01:48:12,300
because with Marvel, it's like,

2904
01:48:12,300 --> 01:48:14,200
you have Amazing Spider-Man.

2905
01:48:14,200 --> 01:48:16,100
You have Ultimate Spider-Man.

2906
01:48:16,100 --> 01:48:19,140
You have Miles Morales' Ultimate Spider-Man.

2907
01:48:19,140 --> 01:48:21,580
You have Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

2908
01:48:21,580 --> 01:48:23,800
You have Sensational Spider-Man.

2909
01:48:23,800 --> 01:48:25,220
You have Mary Jane in Spider-Man.

2910
01:48:25,220 --> 01:48:26,980
You have Peter Parker and Mary Jane love stories.

2911
01:48:26,980 --> 01:48:28,900
You have, what is it?

2912
01:48:28,900 --> 01:48:32,340
You have Arachnia, you know, like the Spider-Girl, whatever.

2913
01:48:32,340 --> 01:48:37,180
You have so many things that can cross over sometimes,

2914
01:48:37,180 --> 01:48:39,420
oftentimes take place in their own whatever.

2915
01:48:39,420 --> 01:48:42,100
So there's a thousand little multiverses.

2916
01:48:42,100 --> 01:48:43,260
Maybe there's even a multiverse.

2917
01:48:43,260 --> 01:48:45,100
But that's why they do the Earth whatever.

2918
01:48:45,100 --> 01:48:48,860
So technically, MCU is canon

2919
01:48:48,860 --> 01:48:50,980
to the rest of the comic books in the world

2920
01:48:50,980 --> 01:48:55,980
because everything just, we, our Earth, is Earth whatever.

2921
01:48:56,540 --> 01:48:58,940
We are Earth 1,000 and-

2922
01:48:58,940 --> 01:49:00,140
I have another way to support your point,

2923
01:49:00,140 --> 01:49:02,820
but Brennan hasn't seen the thing.

2924
01:49:04,060 --> 01:49:06,180
But what I'm saying is I don't just hate everything

2925
01:49:06,180 --> 01:49:07,220
that's Disney Star Wars.

2926
01:49:07,220 --> 01:49:09,540
I like most of the Disney Star Wars.

2927
01:49:09,540 --> 01:49:10,780
Ahsoka was great.

2928
01:49:10,780 --> 01:49:11,900
Obi-Wan was great.

2929
01:49:11,900 --> 01:49:13,980
Mandalorian, spectacular.

2930
01:49:13,980 --> 01:49:16,140
Bad Batch, fantastic.

2931
01:49:16,140 --> 01:49:17,940
Even some of the new Clone Wars,

2932
01:49:17,940 --> 01:49:20,580
that new season of Clone Wars, great.

2933
01:49:20,580 --> 01:49:23,020
Acolyte is just not, not great.

2934
01:49:23,020 --> 01:49:24,340
Oh, it could be not for you,

2935
01:49:24,340 --> 01:49:26,340
but hating on something you haven't seen to me

2936
01:49:26,340 --> 01:49:27,340
is just the point.

2937
01:49:27,340 --> 01:49:28,460
I don't have to. It's just the point.

2938
01:49:28,460 --> 01:49:31,900
I watch so many reviews of everything

2939
01:49:31,900 --> 01:49:33,500
before I even decide, like,

2940
01:49:33,500 --> 01:49:36,500
I trust the people I follow that it's not good.

2941
01:49:36,500 --> 01:49:37,700
Same thing with Acolyte, like,

2942
01:49:37,700 --> 01:49:39,740
because I'm like, I don't want to form an opinion

2943
01:49:39,740 --> 01:49:42,460
until I see it, but I tried.

2944
01:49:42,460 --> 01:49:45,260
I watched like two episodes and I was just like,

2945
01:49:45,260 --> 01:49:49,140
this is just, it just, it felt, it felt forced.

2946
01:49:49,140 --> 01:49:51,460
Like it was like, this is, this is now Star Wars.

2947
01:49:51,460 --> 01:49:53,220
Like you could have called it something

2948
01:49:53,220 --> 01:49:54,900
completely different than, you know,

2949
01:49:54,900 --> 01:49:56,500
outside of the Star Wars universe.

2950
01:49:56,500 --> 01:49:59,260
It would have been, made some sort of a story,

2951
01:49:59,260 --> 01:50:00,740
not connected to Star Wars.

2952
01:50:00,740 --> 01:50:04,020
But it just doesn't feel, it doesn't feel Star Wars.

2953
01:50:04,020 --> 01:50:05,300
It just, it feels weird.

2954
01:50:05,300 --> 01:50:07,220
Did it feel the forced?

2955
01:50:07,220 --> 01:50:08,060
Yes.

2956
01:50:08,060 --> 01:50:12,300
If Dave Filoni or John Favreau have their name on it

2957
01:50:12,300 --> 01:50:14,540
in some place, it usually ends up being good.

2958
01:50:19,020 --> 01:50:20,940
Is it a Favreau?

2959
01:50:20,940 --> 01:50:21,860
Yes, it's Favreau.

2960
01:50:21,860 --> 01:50:23,460
He's my fave though. He's my fave.

2961
01:50:23,460 --> 01:50:24,540
He's your Favreau.

2962
01:50:25,860 --> 01:50:29,540
Okay. So that, that was a recreational recommendations,

2963
01:50:29,540 --> 01:50:30,380
I guess.

2964
01:50:30,380 --> 01:50:31,380
What was that?

2965
01:50:31,380 --> 01:50:32,220
Star Wars.

2966
01:50:32,220 --> 01:50:33,060
What was that?

2967
01:50:33,060 --> 01:50:37,780
Was the whole kill yourself thing,

2968
01:50:37,780 --> 01:50:39,660
was that like, was that during that?

2969
01:50:39,660 --> 01:50:44,340
That was half our episode was this recreational recommendations.

2970
01:50:44,340 --> 01:50:47,060
Every time we bring up new Star Wars, we just, no,

2971
01:50:47,060 --> 01:50:48,620
we don't talk about Star Wars.

2972
01:50:48,620 --> 01:50:49,740
We don't talk about politics.

2973
01:50:49,740 --> 01:50:50,580
We don't talk about Star Wars.

2974
01:50:50,580 --> 01:50:53,260
I tried going kid friendly Lego Star Wars.

2975
01:50:53,260 --> 01:50:54,100
Yeah, that's what it was.

2976
01:50:54,100 --> 01:50:54,940
It's pretty kid friendly.

2977
01:50:54,940 --> 01:50:55,780
We don't talk about Brugo.

2978
01:50:55,780 --> 01:50:56,620
Lego Star Wars is good,

2979
01:50:56,620 --> 01:50:58,340
except they took away the character creation.

2980
01:50:58,340 --> 01:50:59,180
I don't like that.

2981
01:50:59,180 --> 01:51:02,140
They did, but yeah, there's so many characters though,

2982
01:51:02,140 --> 01:51:03,540
that like, yeah.

2983
01:51:03,540 --> 01:51:06,460
And like on the PlayStation Plus right now,

2984
01:51:06,460 --> 01:51:08,940
like when you download it, you get all the character packs

2985
01:51:08,940 --> 01:51:09,780
and stuff like that.

2986
01:51:09,780 --> 01:51:10,620
That's cool.

2987
01:51:10,620 --> 01:51:12,780
So you have tons of different characters to play out,

2988
01:51:12,780 --> 01:51:15,580
but you have to make it through the story to unlock them.

2989
01:51:17,220 --> 01:51:18,060
That's cool.

2990
01:51:18,980 --> 01:51:20,460
It's hard to do with the Favreau.

2991
01:51:20,460 --> 01:51:22,980
Yeah, but have you gotten to Empire yet?

2992
01:51:22,980 --> 01:51:26,140
We're skipping through, cause it's the entire saga.

2993
01:51:26,140 --> 01:51:27,860
Did you start with Empire?

2994
01:51:27,860 --> 01:51:31,140
He wanted to, but I made him start with a new Hope.

2995
01:51:31,140 --> 01:51:31,980
And then-

2996
01:51:31,980 --> 01:51:34,380
You have to eat your veggies before, or your hummus,

2997
01:51:34,380 --> 01:51:37,820
before you can get the rest of your meal.

2998
01:51:37,820 --> 01:51:41,420
But late, like the next day he was playing by,

2999
01:51:41,420 --> 01:51:44,380
he woke up early and just started playing in the morning.

3000
01:51:44,380 --> 01:51:45,860
And he was playing episode one.

3001
01:51:45,860 --> 01:51:49,420
So he started one and he's working his way through.

3002
01:51:49,420 --> 01:51:50,260
That's cool.

3003
01:51:51,260 --> 01:51:53,020
Well, dope.

3004
01:51:54,780 --> 01:51:55,900
I think we're going to wrap it up.

3005
01:51:55,900 --> 01:51:57,860
This has been, it's been a hell of an episode.

3006
01:51:57,860 --> 01:52:02,860
I didn't, honestly, when I watched the Police Story 4

3007
01:52:02,980 --> 01:52:03,820
for the first time-

3008
01:52:03,820 --> 01:52:06,020
All your mind was not any of this stuff we talked about.

3009
01:52:06,020 --> 01:52:08,620
When I thought about what our episode was going to consist

3010
01:52:08,620 --> 01:52:13,260
of, nope, none of this fucking bullshit was in any of it.

3011
01:52:13,260 --> 01:52:16,420
So this is, that's how you know you've listened to an

3012
01:52:16,420 --> 01:52:21,420
episode of our bullshit with us as always is my good friend.

3013
01:52:22,180 --> 01:52:26,740
He's, it's Austin from Fried Rice Podcast One,

3014
01:52:26,740 --> 01:52:30,940
Fried Rice Podcast, the, oh God,

3015
01:52:30,940 --> 01:52:33,020
I couldn't think of a funny subtitle.

3016
01:52:33,020 --> 01:52:34,140
It's my super cop friend.

3017
01:52:34,140 --> 01:52:36,620
He's been drove three hours to be here, Farrell.

3018
01:52:36,620 --> 01:52:37,460
Hi.

3019
01:52:37,460 --> 01:52:39,420
But now we're going to get canceled.

3020
01:52:39,420 --> 01:52:40,580
That's what's going to do it.

3021
01:52:40,580 --> 01:52:42,940
With me as always is Michael.

3022
01:52:43,980 --> 01:52:47,580
He too has been at some political and controversial

3023
01:52:47,580 --> 01:52:50,500
viewpoints on his Wikipedia that are going to get him

3024
01:52:50,500 --> 01:52:51,820
in some controversy.

3025
01:52:51,820 --> 01:52:53,020
Larsen.

3026
01:52:53,020 --> 01:52:54,260
Chelyos, motherfucker.

3027
01:52:55,380 --> 01:52:57,980
I didn't even say you're close to death anymore.

3028
01:52:57,980 --> 01:52:59,460
Now you just, you got to come.

3029
01:52:59,460 --> 01:53:00,300
All right.

3030
01:53:00,300 --> 01:53:02,300
With me as always is Brendan.

3031
01:53:02,300 --> 01:53:03,740
We'll do it right this time.

3032
01:53:03,740 --> 01:53:08,740
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da

3033
01:53:08,740 --> 01:53:10,540
ship lay up to Boston.

3034
01:53:12,420 --> 01:53:14,940
Now I feel obligated to go to Boston.

3035
01:53:14,940 --> 01:53:15,780
At least once.

3036
01:53:15,780 --> 01:53:16,620
At least once.

3037
01:53:16,620 --> 01:53:17,460
Have a good night everybody.

3038
01:53:17,460 --> 01:53:20,100
Boston, Brendan's coming your way, ladies and gentlemen.

3039
01:53:20,100 --> 01:53:22,420
Shipley's going to ship out to Boston.

3040
01:53:22,420 --> 01:53:24,460
Actually they're probably going to beat your ass.

3041
01:53:24,460 --> 01:53:26,940
They're like, oh, you think it's funny, A?

3042
01:53:26,940 --> 01:53:27,780
A?

3043
01:53:27,780 --> 01:53:28,620
No, what is it, Canadian?

3044
01:53:28,620 --> 01:53:31,260
I'll go to a hockey game of Boston Bruins versus LA Kings

3045
01:53:31,260 --> 01:53:32,540
wearing a Kings jersey.

3046
01:53:32,540 --> 01:53:33,380
Oh.

3047
01:53:33,380 --> 01:53:34,580
Get into some fights, that'll be fun.

3048
01:53:34,580 --> 01:53:37,380
That's like wearing a Yamaha on the Gaza Strip right now.

3049
01:53:37,380 --> 01:53:39,540
Now I'm going to get fucking canceled.

3050
01:53:39,540 --> 01:53:40,380
Thanks, Austin.

3051
01:53:40,380 --> 01:53:41,220
Bye everyone.

3052
01:53:41,220 --> 01:53:42,060
See you tomorrow.

3053
01:53:42,060 --> 01:54:04,460
ج Szurek