Let me know...
and welcome to a scanner Darkly episode of Fried Rice Podcast. I'm your host, high on
drugs, there's bugs all over my skin, Andy Rice. Let's get fried with me. As always is,
he's been around the block, he's old as fuck, it's Michael, he's done all the drugs in the
world and still doesn't kill him. Larsen.
Cellios, motherfucker.
Jesus Christ, and that is actually, I should have called you Cellios because that is a
guy that does all the drugs and still doesn't kill him. So that's one time that's an accurate
time to be called Cellios. With us, as always, it's Brennan.
Shipley up to Boston.
Hello everybody.
With us as always is Austin Rode, those bugs that were crawling all over my skin on just
a tidal wave of paranoid feeling on your skin. Three hours to be here, Farrell.
Check me out on ZooBooks.
Oh my God. You know what? You surprise me every week with those. And I don't think,
it's like, how's he going to get me this week? And then you say ZooBooks and it unlocks,
it literally just a key, unlocks this little door that just opened and a flood of just
90s nostalgia just hit me like a comfortable wave. And I love it.
I will run out. I really will. Especially with this project that we're doing with a
bunch of episodes. I felt like you only did that just to see if I could run out.
To see if you can get through it all. Well, here we are again, another wonderful week
with my friends. This was a, well, just interesting right now, just before you guys got here is
someone packed into my, into my speaker here and started blasting, I think the most egregious
form of music, which is country Western music through my speakers at full volume, mind you.
He danced his way over to the soundbar and turned it off.
I did. It was, it's tough because with line dancing, you go forward like four steps, then
you got to go to the right four steps and then back four. I had to cheat a little bit
and go five on the four. It took me about 10 minutes to get over to the soundbar. And
then I realized I needed the remote and not the soundbar itself. And so I just danced
another 10.
You really don't like any country music at all whatsoever.
I, we've gone over this before. We're only roll. I don't know what a jelly roll. That's
a donut. That's a cop. I've seen, I nevermind. He's got tattoos on his face. He's a fat dude.
Yeah. I've seen pictures. I don't need to hear him. Uh, he looks like that, uh, that
who's that name? Uh, four, um, four geo blow. Uh, who's the Trump rapper? Uh, oh, oh, fuck.
He's got all the tattoos on his face. So he looks like one of the guys from a matrix reloaded.
It looks like a turtle from our garage, but like, uh, a little bit, but like a stupid
version of them at any wraps. Is he the guy that's like, I, I produced myself, I'm self
produced and like, that's why the music industry doesn't like me. There's no way. I don't know
who that is.
There's no way about anybody produces him. So he's gotta be the fucking, uh, what's his,
oh yeah. Uh, four, four G auto blow. It's his name. Uh, let's see if we can find a picture
of his real name's Kurt. Yeah. See, look fat, uh, fat, ugly turtle from you see it. It's
like turtle. If turtle from on to us was like fucking Vince left me and people say my beard
is Amish. Yeah. Oh God. He's got, he's got a face tattoo. He's got a chin tattoo. It's
just on the part where his beard doesn't grow. That's fucking so stupid. He's I'm not mish.
Well, anyway, whatever you want to feel about politics, he's a bad rapper. Uh, he was the
one that did that, uh, did that fuck target song after they came out with their inclusive
swimwear or whatever it was. Um, yeah, I didn't even know who he was. He's like, fuck target.
You're grooming your children. No, they're not dumb ass. They're trying to make money
off of pride month. It's just like every other fucking business. They don't give a shit about
gay people or trans people. They're like, Hey, we can make swimsuits specifically for
one demographic of people that desperately want to spend money on shit. Here you go.
Yeah. Like that's what fucking it is. That's all it is. That's all. My mind is a marketing
ploy for companies every holiday, every American holiday. Yeah. Fucking Halloween. No one gives
a shit about whatever the fuck Halloween's origin was. Well, except for the Covens. Yeah.
Who? So I wickens. Yeah. So about that, the small group of, of lesbian women out there
that, that they don't know they're all lesbian. Hey, leave my people alone. They're not all
lesbian, but every wiccan I've met has been a lesbian. Every movie I've seen. Yeah. Okay.
The craft. Yeah. But it's all bullshit, dude. It's every part of it. Every holiday. There,
there's a few that are like, okay, fourth of July. I get it. That's one where it's like,
but it's still turned into marketing. It has because that's big flag, dude. They get you
every year, fourth of July. I lived next door and I, this is not, uh, this is not a lie.
We lived next, we live next door. I lived next door to the guy that won every single
year for 15 years in a row, the fourth of July house decorating contest. He would start
at the end of, uh, or he started probably like the beginning ish of June and he would
just start planting hundreds, hundreds, maybe a thousand or two American flags. He did what
Clark Griswold did with the Christmas lights with American flags all around his house.
And he even had one of those like 45 foot flag polls right in the, so easy to tell people
where I live park next to the fucking weird house with the giant flagpole in this little
suburban neighborhood where nobody else has a giant fucking flagpole. And they had to
tell him that he's not allowed to compete anymore. Like they told him because he had
won so many times or they just made him a judge, even though they didn't want to be
around him. They didn't want to like, he's kind of a honorary old man. And so no one
really wanted to be around. Anyway, that's nothing to do with anything. This is not going
to do fucking shit. That's okay. You got it out there. Fuck that guy. You hated him.
Well, it's been in your mind. You wanted to win that competition. He beat you every year,
but it's like our one flag we put up looked pathetic. Looked pitiful, man. It's like,
it looked like we were Saudi like Saudi Arabia, like terrorists or something like, like people
drove by. They're like, oh shit. These chat on tour listener, these one, oh, one listener
at a, oh shit. I still had the map pulled up. Fuck. Ladies and gentlemen, we have one
guy in the middle East that listens to our podcast. Um, and he's, he lives near a park.
I have a map of where all you guys are. Motherfuckers. It doesn't, it shows me where all of you live,
what addresses, but I will say this to our listener in God, where is it? Where is it?
The guy lists living near national guard, di reb in wherever the fuck that is. Um, we
got to find one of the Pacman. There we go. Um, you live near sod bin Maz Mazeed and there's
a little symbol of a Pacman eating a star above it. So if someone could explain what,
what the Pacman is, cause they all say Maz Mazeed on it. So I think that's probably a
thing. Yeah. Give us a call. We'll use AI to translate. Yeah. Call us at fried rice
podcast.com. Our numbers on the bottom. Uh, great. What are we smoking? What did I pack?
I just packed some jar stuff that Austin gave me last week and it's been wonderful. I've
been smoking it all week and it is dream green. No, that's the company. Um, whatever. It's,
it's the stuff Austin got me and I love it. And I also have, since it's June, I have a
pride month baby Jeter surely temples. So I had one last night with Dario area and it
is cherry seven up flavor, cherry Sprite flavor. They're amazing. Uh, we will definitely have
one before we go because they're hybrid. So we're going to stick to Sativa's to keep this
train moving. Cause we have realized, ladies and gentlemen, that we get way too high and
we don't, it's not even like critical to what this podcast is because it's like, we just
get high and then not talk about the weed or anything about the weed or how the weed
makes us feel or how the weed influenced the movie or anything to make this a weed cultured
pod, you know, show in the fucking slightest other than we can't, what other than we, other
than we're high as fuck. When we do this, we announce what you guys announce what you're
smoking. It's like, Hey, here's what we're getting high on. And then we just, uh, my
favorite thing about the movie was the aliens looked like a comedy. Like it's, that's me.
It's stupid, but whatever. I got a long fucking day ahead of me today. So maybe I've started
off a little bit on edge, but, but for Austin and I, we got sober though. I mean, I did
smoke weed this week. I took two puffs off a joint and went to the museum of illusions
in Phoenix. Fuck. Yeah. Tell us. I did not enjoy any minute of it immediately. Every
time I'm like, Oh yeah, I'll smoke some weed. I take a hit. I start to feel hot. I'm like,
that was a bad idea. I'm not enjoying myself right now. And the museum of illusions was
like for it's it was for kids. Really? They had like a couple of cool things where you
stand over this mirror and there's a mirror above you. So it looks like you're in a big
tunnel. Oh, that's cool. And then they had a thing where it's like, you're on a catwalk
in the rooms spinning around it. And I literally almost ate shit and fell down. Like it was
sensory overload and overload to me. That sounds awesome. You live near Phoenix. Yeah.
Yeah. Pretty close. Like 30 minutes away, 45 minutes. Yeah. I think the next time we
do a little road trip out to Phoenix, we should all go do something like that. I know they
have a lot of stuff out there. Maybe we should try to find a man of vines. We're just, there's
four guys looking for a man of vines. We're just talking like, the way I see it. This
week on Netflix. Yeah. Four men find a man. I just see us like the witches from Hocus
Pocus. We all link arms and we just do the, we just do that little, that little walk down
the street as we're looking for a man of vines in each street. I feel like if we do that,
she'll find us. She'll find us. Yeah. She'll be like, that's what I need. That's what I
need. She might be like packing now. You see the tattoo on her face, dude. She might be
like Angus right now. She's for Jodi, for Giotto's blows a cousin, bro. Yeah. Fried rice murder.
What did you bring Brendan? I also brought baby Jeter's. I brought a sativa. It's called
high tide. Guy said it was one of their new flavors. I haven't tried it yet. So sounds
good. I'm excited. We also found, I was thinking about busting one of these out because it's
sativa, but we, I found baby Jeter cannons. That I'm excited for it because they didn't
have any of the regular cannons when I went last. And so I found three packs and since
at jars on Fridays, it's buy one, get one. I was able to, uh, I got two of the baby cannon,
two different types, but they're both sativa. Oh, this one's high tide. This one's, oh,
I'm excited. These are, I think are the gold tip ones, right? That's elegance right here.
Just, Oh, a mini gold tip. Little mini gold tip. Dude, those are fun. Okay. Let's get
this party going. I remember last week's gold tip. Yeah. This, this one hopefully is, is
because it's smaller. Hopefully it's, it's, we're going to go make some size. Yeah. Hopefully
it's easier to handle. Exactly. Yeah. Well, this is, this is maybe more our speed. Yeah.
I don't think we're ready for the big ones yet. You want to start it? Oh no, you can.
All right. Uh, so that's what we're smoking. Oh, you brought something. Yeah. This is a
joint of a Moroccan peaches and it's a 25%. There you go. Yeah. And you keep bringing
these little, yeah. Keep keeping them out. I like the one that you brought last time.
That was good. The Cypress Hill one. Oh yeah. Yeah. That one was dope. Dr. Green thumb.
Sometimes it's just like a natural thing. You want to pick it like a cigar or whatever.
You want to pick it up and try to smell it. I did get a bit of an aroma. These things,
I like these jobs too. They're cool. All right. You can keep them every time I make a coffee
table out of them. I don't care. I mean, yeah, if I was, I mean, maybe I could do something.
I could do something with these. These are fucking dope. We can even give these away.
You know what I mean? Like at a empty. Yeah. I mean, they're cool little containers. They're
a little weak in there. Anyway. So, uh, the movie we watched this week, what a doozy.
Well, we, we, yeah. Scanner Darkly 2006, Richard Linklater, the director of school of rock
dazed and confused, waking life, slacker and a bunch of weird day slice of life movies.
No one, or maybe I don't know. He's one of those weird indie. Oh man. Yeah. Oh my God.
Yeah. We're, yeah, we can still put these out halfway through. Right. Sorry. Scanner
Darkly stars Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Robert Downey Jr. A few other people, Woody Harrelson.
There we go. He was the big one. Uh, yeah. Iron Man and carnage all in one movie. That's
dope. Anyone else? Not a bad description. Is Steven Chester Prince in any of the, oh,
and the guy from zombie land. Come on. Woody Harrelson. Yeah. Didn't you just say carnage?
Is he carnage in that too? Wait, who did you say you? I watched a little fact video, so
I didn't, I didn't remember seeing carnage. Who did you just say? You said Iron Man. Iron
Man, Neo and Carnage. Yeah. Woody Harrelson is carnage. I'm just not going to speak again.
Woody Harrelson is carnage in what? And let there be carnage. Yeah. The carnage movie,
the venom too, right? He was great. Yeah. I have not seen it. Cause it's funny. What
you just said, just to, just to clarify, you said Neo, Iron Man and carnage all in the
same movie. I said, yeah, that's great. And I recognized all three people in my head.
And then we went down, you're like, oh, and look, there's the guy from zombie land. And
I'm like, do you mean Woody Harrelson, carnage, the person you just said? And then you said,
yes. So what happened there? Listen, motherfucker, listen, motherfucker. I watched, I liked, I
read the book. I watched the movie. I watched a fact video about the movie after I was done.
And it listed a bunch of actors in the movie. And then the guy like summarized, uh, oh yeah,
it's got, so basically it's Neo, Iron Man and carnage all in the same movie. I never
saw let there be carnage. I did not know Woody Harrelson was carnage. I knew he was the dude
from zombie land. I didn't know who carnage was. They said a bunch of other names. That's
it. That's, but, but, but what I'm, well, my question is going on two minutes now with
this conversation now, you had, you chose to say the word carnage right now in your
mind, who was carnage? I have no fucking clue. Why'd you share the information? Cause carnage
is bad ass. Just like iron man and Neo information. And you said, Oh, I know who iron man is.
I know who Neo is. And then you said carnage and you said, fuck it. I don't need to know
any more information about who the actor I just saw a video on playing carnage, who it
was. It could be anybody. Did you think Chamblis Ferguson medical deputy number two was carnage
in some production of a spider man? Maybe he did the animated voice of carnage. You
had no followups whatsoever. None. Not a fucking single thought went through your head after
reading that three facts that you would think to follow through on your car. Dad, just stop
a little bit of more Andy. And usually you're yelling at Mike. Mike didn't even know. And
you just let that fucking slide. You're like, Oh, I love you, Mike. Even though he got his
cellulose in there, Mike didn't start his fact off with, Hey, did you know that there's
iron man, you know, fucking Neo and carnage, but I don't know. I will say that. That's
what I wrote. I wrote those three actors and one other writer. This is going to be good.
Isn't it? Cause I hadn't seen this before. This is the first thing I wrote the literal
first note I took the scene who's in it and went, Oh, this is going to be good. Isn't
it? So as someone who hasn't seen it before, what did you think of the animation? Like
both, I guess both of you. I love the animation. Uh, as a matter of fact, I another note, this
is cool. I like this animation. Yeah. Um, but yeah, but what you referenced earlier,
I wondered how you were going to feel about that scene. The minute I saw it, the bugs
when it opens up, the I took, I said, I said, Oh, fuck this opening with the bugs. I don't
like it. How about you, Andy? Yeah. I mean, that is a nightmare. I knew he was, I knew
they were mental bugs because drugs, right? Like I knew it wasn't real, but it was in
the opening. So you really didn't. If I had not having seen it, I didn't know that. I
didn't know what the movie was about. Oh, this wasn't my first time watching it. Maybe
the first time I watched it, I was like, who the fuck? Like what the fuck are these bugs
doing? I felt bad for the dog, but my only, I took two notes on this movie because I just
sort of sat back and watched it. It's this guy's is bugging out. I felt real proud of
that. And then I watched him take a shower and I was like, that's exactly how I take
showers. So whatever this dude's doing, this is who I am in this movie. I'm frack. I'm
Charles Frick. I was so excited for this movie when I saw, I was scrolling through Tubi just
writing down all these movies that I wanted to pick and I saw that they had a scanner
darken and I'm like, oh shit, it's my pick. That's what's going to happen. Cause I was
like toxic Avenger, Boondock Saints, Silent Hill Revelations, Vampire's Kiss. My favorite
documentary ever, American history X, um, AKA Tommy Chong. Like he just went, yep. V
for vendetta, uh, demolition man and saw scanner darken. I was like, fuck, that's my pick.
And I, and I remember seeing the commercial support eluded of what you might be picking
in the future. Well, thank God though, because his, his picks kind of match up our picks
kind of match up. If you notice that our picks kind of match up good movies, good movies
and it's to break up all of those are in my list. We didn't change our order. What would
it kind of is? Cause he goes, you then him and me. So we get it broken up with our crap
movies, but be careful. I chose one movie you didn't like. Be careful. I'm, uh, wait,
are you talking about this season? No, just in general, just over the last year. You picked
Mandy, you picked Mandy and you didn't even show up to watch it. I'm sorry. I had a heart
attack. And I, the first, the first rice ball was born through Mandy. Yeah. It was just
the two of us. Um, but, oh Jesus. Uh, no, you got me distracted with Mandy. I'm too
high for this. Uh, what did you say right before then? Oh, just about, we were talking
about the book. No fuck. After the bug was you. No shit. It's gone. I just wrote when
this started another day in bull head. This is the original. This movie is on drugs. Uh,
this is adult swim with an infinite budget. Yeah. And then I saw tits and I was like,
oh, this movie is good. I wrote reaper madness. I wrote the modern reaper madness. That's
it. He found your titty. He'd marked it down for you, Mike. 13 minutes and 30 seconds.
I have photos. Whoa. Those are the later titties. Wow. You do. You have a photo. That's one
hour and nine minutes in. Is it weird? It's not weird. I guess, cause it's just a cartoon.
I don't know. That makes it weirder, but you have multiple. Yeah. Holy shit. Man. Uh, okay.
So bugs. Yeah. Uh, freaking so Frank, um, I'm so lost. I had a thought and then you
guys fucked me up. Austin was talking about his list of movies that probably. Oh yeah.
Oh God. Thank you so fucking much, Brendan. Just be careful motherfuckers of what you
pick because if you pick demolition, man, it's a double feature with motherfucking judge
dread. If you pick, uh, if you pick Dante's peak, if you don't think we were watching
volcano, you're out of your fucking mind. If you pick, um, what I was going to say,
I was going to pick this week, maybe. Oh wait. Yeah. Maybe don't say pick it. I'm going to
have to throw something. Just, I'm just saying, I know we have a lot on our plate. We've been
doing a lot for you, the audience. We love you. There's your, there's your finger point
for the people at home. We haven't uploaded any of these videos. I'm so sorry. Listen,
we're figuring it out. I'm trying to rotoscope it like Richard link later. So then that way
it's all fun to watch instead of just what it is, which is just four dudes having a great
time entertainingly. Uh, but yeah, just be careful. I will throw doubles, double features.
I love it. Like this one should have been a double feature with waking life, like because
it's the double roto scoped Richard link later shit, right? Like he did waking life prior
to scanner darkly five years and he it's way worse animation wise. It sucks. I was just
watching it. I don't know if it was a choice to make it really bad, but like this, like
scanner darkly, there's like some parts that are the left, the very last shot, the very,
very last thing you see where the farm looks like a flash animation. Yeah. You just see
county. They just took the top of his head and just sorta did this through the fucking
farm. And I'm like, that's the cheapest shit I've ever seen. This and Goonies worst fucking
example of like, like outdated bullshit graphics to end a movie. I liked when they hopped on
the freeway when they were doing the part when their accelerator got stuck. Yeah. That
animation looked kind of choppy, kind of looked kind of funny, but it was cool as well. Like
it was 2005. It was pretty good for the time. Yeah. But it's also a technique that has been
going on since the beginning of Disney. Yeah. It could have tightened it up a bit. Yeah.
Which, what did they do? Well, the rotoscope animation where they draw each frame. Yeah.
And they had computers do it this time. Well, cause it looked like they that scene snow
white snow white. That's they draw every fucking frame of it. Yeah. Oh, okay. Interesting.
That's why Snow White looks so fucking weird. Right? That's why it's so smooth, like animation
because someone drew paint. It also looks, I think I've seen something where like it's
just the face looks weird for Snow White. I don't know what it is. I think it's cause
it's just for me, it just, I never liked the animation. I'm not against classic Disney
cause give me a beauty and the beast or a little mermaid, you know, or any day. Right. Cause
those look, I think phenomenal, but those are all post rotoscope. That's the thing.
That's what maybe I don't like rotoscope. Here I am. I'm so sorry. You like claymation?
I like claymation. They're very similar in film. Yeah. But it has to be good claymation.
I'm talking Nightmare Before Christmas or one of those. Well, it's all about the amount
of frames. I think it's about the amount of frames. So when they, when they put more frames
in movement, it's smooth. Well, yeah. When they put more frames, more frames is smoother.
So you get that choppy look when they're using less frames. That's where they're saving money.
I've seen Max Payne, the movie, right? They used a camera that like, what was it? Like
a million frames per second or something like they got like one of the most slow motion
slow motion cameras. And then they shot a shotgun, I think, right? Like a real one.
I would imagine, right? Cause it like, that would be the whole point is buy a super slow
motion thing and then shoot, have a really cool shotgun scene with a real shotgun, right?
But it was cool. It's a cool slow motion sort of Max Payne jump. So yeah, there's a story
to this, uh, where Keanu Reeves is an undercover cop investigating Keanu Reeves, who is a drug
pusher while his roommates trying to throw him under the bus. Well, yes, exactly. And
while his other roommate is just there, just having a creepy RDJ, RDJ is the perfect creeping
me out. Great. I loved it. If you read the book, you would know that RDJ is like the
perfect cast for this for his character, Baris. Well, yeah, cause in real life that was his
character right before that. Yeah. Was he out of his, uh, that was after just out 2005.
So what had he done right before this? Like, are we talking Sherlock Holmes or Iron Man?
So 2004, well, that came out in those six. So let's look at the ones that just came out
right before it. Okay. Shaggy dog. That one in a brought him back. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
is great. Uh, Gothica. I loved it. Did anyone else? I don't know. I don't think so. 5.8.
So it's before everything. You know what? I'm going to say something super controversial,
right? It's a hot take. All right. And the movie got Halle Berry, Robert Downey Jr. Limp
Biscuit covers the who's behind blue eyes and it's great. Yeah. Fuck anyone else that
says anything else. You can hate Limp Biscuit all you want, but God damn, when that song
comes on, I will never change it. It's so good. I even like the weird little DJ break
in the middle. It's fucking awesome. So go right now and find the Gothica soundtrack
and listen to Limp Biscuit's first and a behind the lights. That might be your least controversial
controversial take. Really? Do you think other people? Yeah, that's a great song. That's
a good song. Yeah. Like, is that going to be your pick for the battle of the sound that
just died out? We just never went back to it. We added, I think more substantial things
to our plate and maybe we could put the thing that never happened. The first, well, you
know, we'll get that's a that's a that's business talk. So he did. This came out right before.
I think it got real popular for him again. Yeah. Before Iron Man. Yeah, right. Yeah.
Yeah. Iron Man is. Yeah. Iron Man was was two years later. Charlie Bartlett, one of
my absolute fucking favorite movies. It's got the guy that passed away. Unfortunately,
I don't know if you know, he was one of my favorite. I never give a shit about any up
and coming actors like Timothee Chalamet. I wish him the best of luck. And if I see
a movie that he's in that I like, cool. I don't have anything against them or for him.
But for some reason, man, Anton Yelchin from like Alpha Dog and Star Trek moving forward
and Charlie Bartlett, I was like, this is the guy, dude. I can't wait to see him in
more things. And then he has to die tragically young. It always happens, right? Like that
River Phoenix was another like up and coming due to people a lot of people like, right.
And Bruce Lee. And it just goes on and on to Brandon Lee. Is there a conspiracy? Yes.
Everybody looks right at Austin. He's the only one here that watches conspiracy videos.
But I don't watch conspiracy videos. I watch like true crime and like morbid shit. And
comedy. There's a weird combo. I just break it up. I go true crime comedy, morbid, weird,
creepy internet shit comedy. Sometimes a movie, sometimes a video game video. This kind of
felt like one of those video games that was LGBTQIA+. What's that? I just saw that power
couples of that. What's the high LGBTQI? Yeah, I heard they know it's LGBTQIA+. Maybe. Where
was it? Go down? LGBTQIA+. Why is asexual? I know that's asexual. Why is asexual in there?
You just you fuck yourself. I don't think you fuck anyone. No one. You're just A for
Andy right there. I don't think the plus could have an anti sexual and I'd be all for a sub
sect of people. Why is it constantly changing though? LGBT plus. Plus means everything right?
I think it just depends on whoever. They added a two in there for two spirit people. But
again I think this is also IMDB just trying to exploit pride month to get clicks and followers.
I don't know. Maybe they care about this. But I'm just saying let's see if next month they
have all the identifiers on there. I'm just saying they might next month decide to take
it a step back from highlighting you know gay culture or I don't even know if you can
call it the whole umbrella gay culture anymore. I think you like what's the umbrella term for
all of the identifiers? I believe it's that LGBTQIA+. No, no, I know it's LGBTQIA+. But
there's someone has 100% come up with a way to not have 20 syllables when you want to
identify the whole group. Because if you're looking at like right there we see it as a
label. How would you refer to that label as a whole? I don't know. Trying to find a good
way to say it. Put it in the comments if you can. You know what? Don't. I was going to
say that's asking for trouble. Let's actually not go into the comments and try to label
things. Everybody just fuck off. Especially not that one guy in the Middle East. Definitely
not. Yeah, yeah. I don't. Well, you're welcome to your opinions, but keep them off our fucking
comments. Keep to yourself. Right. Yeah. Everyone's welcome to what however they feel about whatever
the fuck they want to do. Everyone's an independent human being and I don't give a shit about
any of you. I'm the most self-centered human being on the planet. You could be gay. You
can be any of those letters or anything else. And I do not give a shit. I just don't want
you to overstay your welcome in my home. Give me too much physical contact. Don't give me
eye contact if I'm not asking for it. Just generally let me be OCD and don't fucking
mention it. Let me have a podcast. Listen to it without me putting any effort into it.
I have very small demands. I don't care what you identify as. Just leave me alone when
I need to be left alone. You guys understand? Don't try to share my food. If I have french
fries, don't pick from them. Don't make me go to the movie theaters. I've got a list.
None of it includes your sexual identity. But I will say, just don't touch me. Anyway,
back to the movie. He's an undercover cop. He has a couple of roommates. They're trying
to throw him under the bus. Robert Downey Jr. He's this fucking mental, creepy, just
sicko. But thank you for teaching me how to make coke. Does that work? I doubt that. Once
again, why did you look right at him? He's got the book. Does it work? He's got the book.
I'm referring to him for like... Yeah, because they didn't touch on it in the movie if it
worked or not. It's basically a play by play from the book. Most of the scenes in this
movie. They are. Down to the dialogue. It's rare that a book and movie sync up. The only
one I've seen that comes close is Fight Club and they change one little thing. But in Fight
Club, one of the things they change, actually they change two things. They don't start each
scene with a different way to make napalm. But this dude starts a lot of his chapters
or a few of them off with like, all right, if you just mix, you know, read the chapter
if you want to know how to make napalm. I'm not just kidding. Especially with some of
our audience. Where they are. I don't want to give out directions for napalm. You know
what I mean? What I'm so confused on is in the book and the movie, I just don't get it.
They hired him to be a cop, gave him this super advanced scramble suit that you could
do so much evil in, but they don't know that he's Bob Archer. And he's he's only using
the scramble suit when he's in the office. He never like uses it to help him in any situation.
I'm like wondering how did they hire him not knowing who he is? I just knew he read Ayn
Rand. How do you say that name? Ayn Rand. I almost feel like Winona Ryder kind of knew
for a while who he was and was like, this is like I felt like that was kind of the plan
was to get him basically to that point to where he went and worked on the farm. Like
that's what she says in the very end. It's like it's all kind of screwed him over. The
whole thing is a psychological thrillers even in the book is how you make you read it and
you feel like you're losing your mind along with the character. But like the things that
are clear in the beginning is like they hired him to spy on himself. Yeah. So like how does
he know he knows who he is? They his job does not know who he is. They just hired an anonymous
guy off the street. They knew who he was the whole time. It looked like Winona Ryder who
was behind all of it with that other dude. But there's a bunch of other guys in scramble
suits too. So what's what's their deal? Yeah. That's what kind of throws me for a loop.
I don't know if I missed something. Maybe it's more of the same shenanigans. Maybe it's
like because it looked like Winona Ryder who's who's the mastermind behind all of this. Right?
Like that's I guess maybe why she can't fuck him is because she it's a case and she he's
one of her like dudes right that she that she's working. And so she's keeping an eye
on him in his scramble suit keeping an eye on him. When they're really keeping an eye
on Robert Downey Jr. They really want him to come in to try to bring Keanu Reeves in.
So this it like Keanu Reeves and what he thinks doesn't really matter. Like they needed
him to be a inconspicuous undercover cop for Robert Downey Jr. to be suspicious enough
to try to make him. But you never know what you're seeing is what they're really happening
or if it's just drugs. Let's see that was just the front which I mean I'll give away
the ending right now because we've all seen is that they want to Keanu Reeves to go completely
bonkers and just completely forget who he was so they could send him in a new house.
How soon did that happen? So how much of what you're seeing is just not really happening?
It's all just brain stuff. Yeah. I took it all at face value. I mean I get all that just
the logic parts of it. The things that should make sense to me don't. Like they should know
who he is. They should have. Yeah. Did he fill out an application in a ski mask like
when he first started? They don't just give you expensive technology brand new technology
that they unveiled. They do bring him into a room with doctors. That's just to evaluate
like and the doctors know they see his face. They say his name they say but they call him
but the whole time he's Bob Arter or he's Frank the cop or he's Bruce who at the end
I think is who he really is. Like we needed Bruce to go to the farm. So they're all characters?
Are they all in his head the whole time? No I think Bob. Maybe what I'm thinking is Bob
Arter is the undercover cop identity that he has. Frank is the body suit undercover
cop guy. Maybe hired same time with him but Frank is just a code name just a one name
but Bob Arter is the undercover drug name that he is. So he's an undercover drug guy
who got addicted to the drug and then they hire and then using this information that
they have where they have an undercover cop implanted with a guy that they need hooked
on a drug that's going to make him crazy. They can put him in one of these suits give
him another alias Frank. That'll help fuck him up. Frank and Bob Frank and Bob Frank
and Bob. He's watching himself day and night. He's watching his friends day and night. It
makes him fucking paranoid. He's on this fucking drug that fucks his brain up. The guy they're
looking after he's getting fucking paranoid because he lives with an undercover cop who's
going fucking insane being another undercover cop on top of it and at the very end they
fucking finally use it to put him over the edge so they can eventually put him in that
fucking car. I don't know. That's my thought. He just never uses the scanner suit. That's
the thing. He's still Keanu Reeve the entire time. The same face. No he's in the suit.
We see him in the podium talking to people. He's out there doing shit in the suit. Did
the book expand on any of who he was before? Just that he was married with kids and he
was like you know what fuck this. He bonked his head. He was like you know what fuck you
guys and they left. Is that real? Or is that just the dreams of a junkie? I don't know.
Or was this whole thing just the Alex Jones story? I'm definitely going to re-read the
book because that was really fun reading. Alex Jones story? Alex Jones the crazy radio
guy? Yeah Alex Jones is in the movie. He's in this movie. So it's all a fever dream of
Alex Jones. Outside of a Taco Bell or something. They're going to get us all. The substance
deep. I'm telling you right now. He's in this movie being Alex Jones. We have the documents.
How do you miss that? He's being Alex Jones in the movie. Oh wait two times speed never
mind. No 1.5 times speed. Listening to Alex Jones at two times speed. Fuck. It's more
tolerable. It's more tolerable. The frogs get gay a lot quicker. But what I'm thinking
is Keanu Reeves man. So think about the family. Wife, two kids. Maybe he doesn't bonk his
head. Maybe the bonking the head is symbolic of him being a cop with a family. He gets
the call. He has to go undercover. Now he's Bob Archer. He gets addicted to substance
deep. And then all of this shit happens. Does that make a little more sense? And then if
you have Winona Ryder who both knows that he's a married man and is part of an operation
to make this guy go insane plus send him to an organization that he doesn't want to go
to. And won't have sex with him until he gets really woke. Well no but she won't have sex
with him period. But she does. When? I think those photos are probably. That's when he
was fucking that blonde chick. See there was a chance I was thinking that when she reveals
that she was Hank the whole time and she was in the suit. I thought maybe when he's watching
the scanners of himself sleeping with that one chick that she's like I'm going to go
into kevin and fuck him. Maybe. As somebody else. Some junkie bitch. I mean we don't know
if the suits can just pick an identity and stay there. But. Can you have sex in the suit?
Why not? I think he's able to literally throw food into his mouth. He ate. He just tossed
food into a mask. Drugs yeah. He took his drugs through his mask. In the middle of the
office. You know what nanotech. Think about it. Just nanotech for a second. If you've
got a suit like that and we're in the technology stage we're at to make a suit like that. I'm
willing to buy nanobot mesh like Iron Man suit sort of in like one of the later Iron
Man movies. So yeah you throw popcorn out your mouth it literally just goes. You know
like it opens up and lets it in. And then if you need to fuck does the same thing for
your dick or your other parts. Again I don't care what you have or identify with. Doesn't
matter. Just don't fucking touch me if you see me in public. I don't want to handshake.
I don't want to hug. High fives. A fist bump. Let's go fist bumps. I don't know. Safe.
Just. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay. There we go. Because that one time. Yeah. Six months
ago. It sticks with you. Yeah. You're right. You're right. The lost episode. What movie
was that? I think basically the moral of the story. Okay drugs are bad. Really the whole
thing. Because Philip Dick wrote this about his own experience. Oh yeah the in memoriam
at the end is fucked up. Yeah. It was just like. Those are real people. Yeah that's all
in the book too. At the end of the book he does the same exact thing. All of my friends.
All of my friends that got addicted to drugs and got permanent brain damage or fucking
died. Or died yeah. And Phil is him. Oh. That list. Yeah. Phil is. Wait what was his symptom?
I don't remember what it was. I just know that Phil was him. I don't remember the symptom.
You guys just coming up with facts but no follow up. Well I mean he wasn't wrong. Tarnage
is in the movie. Who gives a shit who it is. Phil's in there but what was his what was he
suffering from? Now when you were reading the book were you picturing these actors as the
characters or? No I read the book first. OK. So I had no idea who the actors were. I only
knew that when I saw the movie on Tubi I'm like oh fuck there's a movie. Oh yeah Keanu
Reeves is in it. I didn't know anyone else who was in the movie until I started watching
it. So when I see Robert Downey Jr. show up as Barris I'm like boom perfect. That's the
best you could have done. What do you think is Keanu Reeves is Bob? Perfect. Great. Keanu
Reeves I mean it's stuck it sticks with you. Usually that image of his face is what you
think of when you think of this movie because I just remember seeing a commercial for it
a really long time ago and I just I didn't watch the movie. I think everyone did great.
Keanu Reeves is dope. I love the trifecta between Woody Harrelson and Robert and Keanu.
It was like a little mini trailer park boys for a good moment. That bike scene is my favorite
scene. I love that scene. There's more to that bike scene. They cut out of the black
dude. They bring it to the black guy next door with a shitty car and they're just like
do you see like how many gears do you see and like he figured it out right away. Well
how many gears is it's 18th speed right or how many gears was it? Well it's a 10th speed
and there's two back chains and then five on the front so you have 10 gears. So it's
a 10th speed. So it goes one two three four five and then that changes and you got five
more. Because they which total 10. He said there's eight in the back two in the front.
He said it was eight he said it was 18th speed to start then he was said it was a nine speed
then he said it was. But see that's that's the whole point in the book there's a part
where that's all caught on the scanners and he has to go see the medical guys again. They're
like you're you couldn't figure out this simple fucking bicycle mechanic. You're fucking addicted
to drugs dude. It's fucking you up. But we only had their information to go off of right.
So what did the black guy end up finding out the gears. He just he looked at it. He did
simple math. Yeah it wasn't an astounding feat. He just did simple math for all these
tweakers. I'm not surprised that someone figured it out. I'm right now asking how many fucking
gears were on the bike. I only have what the movie's going off of which is three drug addicts.
Ten speed ten gears. Ten speed. It's because there's two and five. It is a multiplication
two and five. Listen I had Robert Downey Jr. Woody Harrelson going like yelling 20 different
numbers. I was great. How am I supposed to know how many gears are on that bike. The
choking scene also in the book. Very good. Very very good. They let it run long too which
I was like fuck yeah this is great. This is so good. I mean I could see the warrior in
your eyes. You're looking at Austin like I'm spending the whole day with you. No no that's
what. He's gonna let you choke. I was. Enjoy it apparently. It's like I just sit here let
it happen. You did mention you wanted sushi after this. So I'm like perfect choking food
size foods and adjust the place. I love the scene when they're working on the car and
they start fighting and he goes and gets the hammer and comes back out and they immediately
turn on Breck all three of them. Yeah. And then just kick him out. Which is weird. Tosses
the hammer. Because Freck in the book was supposed to be Jerry Fabin. That's the guy
in the beginning and he goes crazy and gets sent to New Pack. And then this Charles Freck
is supposed to be a different guy. So they kind of combine them into one guy and nobody
goes to New Pack. OK. OK. They just put it in the soup. Are they plants from the government?
No the butt guy. He's just a regular dude and the whole thing where he goes home and
tries to kill himself and the demon's just reading off his sins and it's like you're
a million years on he's on sin number four or something. That all in the book which is
awesome. That scene too at one of the trivia facts was that that was one scene that the
author read on like a radio broadcast and they were going to use that for it but the
audio was so bad that's why they just had someone just read the book. Which would have
been cool as shit. That'd be like if you were watching War of the Worlds. That'd be a horrible
trip though. Listening to him? Yeah. Laying in bed listening to all of your sins. It's
an interesting construct. Yeah. An interesting construct though how they refer back to the
author so much in this movie. That's not normal in most movies they kind of push the author
away. Yeah. You know what I mean? This is like really kind of an homage. Like they're
like really. So now that you put there's a few. So I'm thinking there's that one with
who's the guy from Lady on the Water. He's got a long he's got a weird name. He's the
short he's the dad in Percy Jackson I think. Oh come on. Can you get some more obscure
shit? Oh bringing it up and not knowing who the fuck it is Andy. Major star from Percy
Jackson. What's up Carnage? Ah no you're right. You're right. Funny part in this movie the
bow with no arrow when Donna shows up. Yeah. Beautiful. Oh yeah that's great. Beautiful
piece of comedy. They know how to piece in little bits of jokes in there. It's great.
And they really had to cherry pick what they wanted from the book to be in this because
there's so much more outside of it. I mean I was less engaged with the actual story than
I was with just the individual performances and their like monologues and their interactions
with each other. And I was looking at this dude's the director's tomography and a lot
of his like it more low budget stuff is like just slice of life. He has a movie called
Slacker where you're just following a dude around and just doing nothing. Just talking
to people. Just catching on the ride basically. I mean but less like it literally well I mean
yeah it just catching the rise it's just a bunch of conversations with people. I just
finished that book yesterday. Is it just him going around having a bunch of conversations
with people? Just him going around just being a fucking dipshit loser. Okay. Yeah so. Yeah
but there was a really funny passage. It's like my favorite passage I've ever read where
he's just like you know what I think I'm going to do is I'm going to go pretend to be one
of those deaf mutes and nobody will ever have to talk to me. They'll have to write it down
and they'll get bored of that and they'll never have to speak to me. I don't have to
talk to anyone. I can just do my thing and then maybe I'll meet another girl who's also
a deaf mute and we'll have a kid and we'll live in a cabin in the woods and raise the
kid ourselves. It was just like the best. I just oh it was it was worth reading all that
bullshit for that passage. Do you have the overwhelming urge to kill the president or
anything? Just John Lennon but some other. Oh John Lennon there it is yeah. I forgot.
No I had to look up what is the stigma for Catcher in the Rye and there wasn't I didn't
really get a definitive answer and then there was that whole South Park episode about it
and then I just read it I'm like this is just some fucking dipshit kid. Yeah it feels like
a like a PG-13 of Tom Sawyer sort of vibe. Yeah he's not that smart though he's kind
of a weirdo. I've never read it. He goes on tangents a lot so this is your kind of book.
I mean everything you're saying sounds like me and this dude could get along because he's
like. He'll start talking about one thing that he's doing and then he'll trail off for
a page sometimes a page and a half about something else completely unrelated. Did I read it?
And then he'll be like anyways I was standing at the train station. Oh I love it. I'm probably
going to read that shit. That's how my brain works. And you were just giving me shit for
reading all these obscure books that I've just kind of heard of. I don't even remember
because I've already moved on Austin in my brain. I'm on a new tangent now. We're talking
about uh serials which one's our favorite. Let's go I like Reese's Pops. Just kidding
back to the movie. So we all know the big twists and turns. I mean I thought every individual
performance was excellent. Every character every actor fucking crushed it. Winona Ryder.
I've been sort of on the not like on the not Winona Ryder train because of the first season
of and this is another super hot take but I hate the first season of Stranger Things
because it's just a lot of her like where's my son. That's what it is. That's what it
is every single time and it's not her fault it's the director's fault of being like I'm
going to give her one thing to do for an entire season and I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
And it makes me and I was just like ugh I don't want to see her. In this movie the moment
I saw her even though she's a lot younger and everything I was like ugh god she better
not be missing a son. Like and I just feel like that every time I see her now I was like
ugh god if she's missing a son I'm not going to watch this. It's just that she's typecast
forever in my head because of Stranger Things. I haven't watched season two because of that.
Speaking of Winona I have this note I don't know what it means but it says Donna's house
didn't age well. I think the whole scene where he's in her house with her. Oh yeah because
he wants to fuck. Some questionable problematic events occur. Well maybe. Let's see he wants
to fuck. He like tries to touch her she says no I do a lot of coke man I do a lot of coke
don't touch me. What a little. I mean look listen no means no. You don't need to come
up with an excuse but I get it men are grabbing. Do what you got to do to get out of the situation.
But if you're a man no means no. She doesn't have to tell you I do a lot of coke. You try
to touch her she says no you do that. That's common sense. In this situation it was weird
though she was like I do a lot of coke man. I do those weird weird weird weird ways. Yeah
whatever I can stand it makes people. It's a weird way to say no to say no. Like it's
like no I told you I don't want to be touched. I do a lot of coke. Yeah I do a lot of coke.
I don't like being touched. I got aphids. But then he's like he's like fuck this shit
and he leaves and then. Oh yeah the in cell. Fuck you then I'm out. Fuck you and then
he goes and finds just some some. Trampy blonde. And not all blondes are trampy sorry. A trampy
blonde and then he takes her to his house apartment and fucks her. I think it was I
think it was actually a prostitute. Oh yeah. That's that's why I got you here. I think
he bought her. I think he was a prostitute. Oh yeah. Well there's this whole weird part
towards the end. Donna drives off and she sees a coke semi truck and she shoots open
the fucking back of it and steals a crate of coke. Coke. Just did not fit anywhere in
the book. I'm like doesn't make believe. Did you see that. You know you've got to read
the notes. Did you see the note about why not a writer being her dad was like best friends
with Kurt Vonnegut who was friends with Philip K Dick and like there's all these connections
in this movie. Yeah. So she's doing a movie based on a book of like her like an uncle
figure. Yes. In her life. Yeah she brought a letter to Richard Linklater from Philip
K Dick. That's to her. I feel like you need connections to make a movie like this because
they're just book good book movies are hard to come by because a lot of people ain't reading
books unless it's fucking Hunger Games or fucking something like that. Corporations
know they can milk a bunch of because that's like a young adult book right. Oh yeah. So
they're just like cool get them while they're young and just milk them on this franchise
for a whole lot of that point for just one second before I forget. I'm not going to lose
my train of thought. Does it really matter that Richard Linklater got a letter from Philip
K Dick. I get that school trivia and I'm not blaming you for bringing it up. Thank you
for bringing it up. But the reason I'm even saying does it matter is like how much of
this like what the actors do outside of the film really matter. Like I kind of it doesn't
like like a war chose. She wouldn't have made it otherwise because this is a nine million
dollar movie that's a it's like a passion project not a that's how they get these actors
to do these things for not the same baby. It's a passion project. I get that. I get
that. But it's why it matters. Yes. Makes it matter. Yes. Heonor leaves his Medellin.
That's what makes it better. A better movie is they put more care about. Yeah. The history
of the movie in my mind makes it a more enjoyable experience. I think it takes it away. I've
been in the mindset lately of like when I'm watching a movie the more I know about the
behind the scenes the less I enjoy the movie because it takes me out of the movie because
it's like watching a Fast and Furious movie now is ridiculous because it's part of an
ongoing joke of a franchise that everyone shits on all the time. Sure it's going to
make the money it needs to make but they literally go to space like they don't give a shit. It's
like here's some popcorn fun. Have some fun. It's fast and furious. You know what you're
getting into who gives a shit. But then you see these behind the scene feature or whatever
and you're just it just takes you out of it. So even if I wanted to go and watch a Fast
and Furious movie to lose myself in the Fast universe whatever the fuck that means I would
still be thinking about Vin Diesel doing stunt work or having a stunt double do his thing
or whatever like you know you know what I mean. My point is that you can tell from the
act. It's a good example because you can tell from the acting they don't give a fuck about
the franchise. So that is sort of the point. That's why it makes the movie better because
I'm not saying to learn all this before you watch the movie. You've already watched the
movie when you find these things. Why did they put so much effort into it? It was a
passion project. But sometimes it retroactively takes enjoyment out of a movie I've watched
as much as that is. I watched the movie. I enjoyed the movie. You watched the movie and
you enjoyed it. So you're like I like that. I would like to know more about the movie
and how it was made. Who were they going to cast instead of Keanu Reeves? They probably
had a few people. I like knowing that shit. Could you imagine we're going to get into
that about Beverly Hills cop later today? Who could have been Keanu Reeves then? Who
was on the list? I don't know. I didn't look into it. But pretty much every movie they
were like okay if we can't get Keanu Reeves we'll get XYZ. They've got a list. All I'm
saying is that sometimes, often, most of the time, every time I see behind the scenes footage
of something, it takes me out of it. I think it started with The Matrix. I think it was
like I watched. I see those wires. I'm ruined. No, not the wires. It's not the wires, man.
No, man. What it was is I watched The Matrix. I see the coolest fucking, you know, when
he's dodging bullets scene, that 3D scene, the one that we all loved. Oh, you saw the
guy with the green screen. Then it cuts to, then I literally, like at the end of the VHS
that I bought or whatever, it had a behind the scenes after the credits. I was like oh,
that was a special feature. I bought this, you know, I have this special one. I watch
it and it shows them filming the big room with all the cameras and shit. It just takes
me out of it. Because now every time I see that I'm just thinking of that green screen
and those cameras. And I can't in my mind differentiate it from. I like that. We talk
about making a movie all the time. Well, how are we going to do that if we don't know any
of the behind the scenes? Exactly. No, listen. I would only make a movie of something that
I wouldn't want to watch. Mike, just say you want him to scroll down to trivia for fuck's
sake. No, no. But what I'm saying is like if they asked me to make another something
I'm very passionate. If they told me to make a Batman movie, I don't know if I would, if
I would direct a Batman movie because I'd be like shit. First off, I would want to watch
the next Batman movie. I wouldn't want to direct it. I wouldn't want to take the enjoyment
out of viewing it. I'm sure the director of the Batman cannot watch the Batman and not
think of every painful second went into every like, you know, every moment that went into
every change. Like everything I can just see that letter. Greetings, Warner Brothers. Thank
you for your polite offer to direct Batman. But I'm too busy making the sequels to Mac
and me and battlefield Earth. I have a good look on your future endeavors. Battlefield
Mars. It's the earth. That's the last remnant of humanity on an Atlas ship made it to Mars.
Go. So they've had Mars. Yeah, exactly. And they have a secret. They have a secret colony
going on. And then the, the, and there's little Mac and he's a little cyclops show up. The
margins are like that. It's worth it. We can throw everything in there. Ghosts of battlefield
Mars. Ghosts of Mac and battlefield. No, just ghosts of battlefield Mars. Mac's just in
it. It's just Mac's just in it as people. They, they, they accepted humanity. But right
when humanity showed up, there was this like betrayal, like a red wedding type situation
where they showed up with like 50 vacuum cleaners and just suck up all the Mac and me's and
hold them prisoner inside those little fucking animals. Stars animals. You fucking animals.
Stars Mark Hamill in his slipstream costume from his planning of the apes costume. Cause
we've covered that too. So Mark, Mark Hamill. Mark Walbert's there too. Fuck it. Mark Walbert
can come. Just all marks. We hire all marks. We get all the marks. Mark Bob. We can put
Bob in it. Mark Cuban's funding it. Bob, a movie you're actually in. Yeah. Manicube
2 on the moves. Robert Pilar's story. Yeah, we put that in. He's our lead. We put Bob
in as the lead no matter what. Going back to your point about. I had a point. Yeah, young
adult novels and why they're so popular. And they can't make like good movies of older
books because people just aren't going to be interested. Well maybe you can. The Great
Gatsby with Leonardo DiCaprio is pretty cool. They've done some good Monte Cristo stuff.
I like anytime they do a Three Musketeers. Anytime a Robin Hood comes out it's worth
a watch. I mean there's a lot of like royalty free old shit that we see constantly that
we could right now go make a, you know, whatever. But then there's like of course shitty ones.
I'm not going to go see Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey. You can make a fan movie of anything.
Well yeah, but you can make a legit movie of recognized properties. Yeah, you can do
any Shakespeare's. You can do any. Yeah, the original Mickey Mouse just came out of a
Steamboat Willie one. They're already making a horror movie with it. I know. They have
Winnie. It's always horror. They have Winnie the Pooh, Blood and Honey 2 has come out.
There's a sequel to Blood and Honey. Yeah. Which is ridiculous. What's the Abe Lincoln
one? Actually was a vampire killer. Yeah. That was good. He needs a few of those like
Sharknado and stuff. Yeah. Do you need a few of those floating around? Well, but there's
a bit of a difference. Sharknado is like just a cheesy thing that they made. Abraham Lincoln
Vampire Hunter is a book that they adapted into a movie. It's I think by the same author
who did Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. And it's just, did they make a movie? Yeah. Did
they make a movie of Pride, Prejudice and Zombies? I don't know that. I don't think
they did of that one. That would have been I think a bigger. That would have been cool.
And around when 21 Weeks Later came out I think is when you could have released that
and I think had a hit on your hand. Now we've had too much zombie saturation. It's got to
be an interesting take. What about 28 years later? Oh. It's coming out. I didn't even
hear about it. Not too much. I don't think there's too much. I'm getting ready to see
that when it comes out. I'm actually for my next book I'm debating whether I watch or
read a Cell. Stephen King. Hey, Cell's on. Yes. Another Zombie. Or Chain Gang All Stars
which is like critically acclaimed new book that everyone's freaking out about. Read Cell.
Chain Gang All Stars. And just about halfway through just stop. I don't know who the author
is. Just stop. And then what? Read Cell and halfway through just stop. No, don't. Okay.
Hang on. Just real quick. You mentioned that there's like different kinds of zombies. Listen,
there's a couple things to address here. Yes, and I will get back to you just one second
Austin. But real for the people at Fucking Hope. Stephen King. Mike, every Stephen King
book in his mind, he thinks the ending sucks. He thinks to stop halfway through. He says
to not read the last third of it. He just says to give up on the ending of Stephen King.
I say you're a fool if you stop halfway through Stephen King book. His endings maybe not be,
they're not for everybody. There's a scene in it that doesn't need to be in there. That's
the only book that I would say if there's an abridged version that doesn't have the
orgy. Yeah. Get that one. Because like, I don't know what was happening there. But every
other book I've read, his endings are not as bad as people say. Like some of them are
silly, but how else are you going to end shit? It's like you, I don't want to give away any
spoilers because I could spoil a lot right now. But like, like under the dome, for instance,
I'm not going to give away the ending, but under the dome, which, which is a dome falls
over a city. No one knows how to get rid of it. Now the city is in this like little microcosm
of like it's self governing itself. It's so exciting. They made a four or five season
long show based on it. The ending is, is a little bit over the top. Okay. And it may,
it takes a little bit of a stretch of imagination to believe why that dome is there, but the
book's phenomenal. It doesn't matter. Read self the whole thing. They are interesting
zombies there. It's a complete, it's a, it's the, it's King's take on zombies and his take
on zombies is interesting. It's funny. Cause I have the paperback and it has like a, a
touchscreen phone instead of my grandma has the original one where it's an old fucking
flip phone. They changed the photo. Oh, she has every Stephen King book, like all, like
she's been all the shit. So she has all the old versions of things and now they're all
paperback and like they updated the covers and shit, but she has the old one. I'm like,
I actually want to read the whole, I just want the old hard cover with the original
image on it instead of the little touch screen. How long did it sell come out? 20 years ago
probably. Maybe, maybe. You're about right. Around the same time as this movie, a scanner
darkly. Yeah. Holy shit. This is almost 20 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't look 20
years. They, the rotoscoping on this is way better than for the budget. It's only like
an eight point something million dollar budget. Yeah. By the way, his other one, waking life,
which is done in a very similar way, but a lot worse. It stars the kid from Dazed and
Confused, the little skinny kid with the long hair who's going into school, right? He's
literally the whole movie is just him walking around talking to people. What are you doing?
I'm showing that that's a AI rotoscope photo that I just put in the movie stuff and popped
out that AI rotoscope photo. They combined RDJ with cameras. Yeah. They get some weird
shit out of there. That's cool. It gets some weird shit. That first guy's pretty cool looking.
Cover up this part. Looks like a partnership or something. It's like they took all of them
and combined them together. The only ship that sinks is a partnership. Tell me that
doesn't look like a quote thing that some in cell post. Fuck bitches, get money. Yeah.
So a lot of twists and turns, a lot of cool moments. The back and forth between the three
of them was the dynamic between them is great. Winona Ryder, she did play off a cool... She
played, I think now looking back on it, when you realize that she was Hank the whole time,
I think the don't touch me, I do a lot of coke seemed like a shitty excuse because it
was. It was just an in the moment, please don't touch me for a myriad of reasons that
we can't get into because I need you to be continuing this psychological fucking downward
spiral that you're on. Or she was wearing two scramble suits. Or she was wearing two scramble
suits. It was really a man the whole time. Oh shit, named Hank. It's just at the end
... Because I will say that their system of walk into a room and then walk out a different
door, it's pretty ingenious maybe, depending on where those doors come out. But all someone
has to do is set up and watch someone walk in, but at the same time... You're right,
that doesn't make any sense. It's like someone would know. If you wanted to know who he was,
you could find out easy enough. Are you talking about the albino shape shifting lizard bitches?
That's just my favorite quote in this movie. Come again? That's my favorite quote for this
movie. Who says that? They call him... It's Baris. He calls the cop things in the suits.
This is the only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape shifting lizard
bitches. I love that quote. I don't know why. I will say, if there was a suit, if the suits
really exist, because okay, we can really go into is this just a guy who lost his family,
started doing drugs, lives in a fucking trap house, does a bunch of drugs, and is losing
his mind to the point where he thinks that there's some technology that exists, that
in this movie there's nothing else that would indicate that they have fucking shape shifting
technology. Even that's not real you're saying. Yes, I'm saying because in this movie, not
a single thing other than the shape shifting suits are super technology advanced, or technologically
advanced. Maybe he's insane, and he's doing all these drugs. He thinks that he's... He's
watching his life from an outside perspective, thinking that he's a shape shifting human
being. He's just a shape shifter moving through his own life, addicted to drugs, with watching
it from an outside perspective. Maybe he too was there when Woody Harrelson choked, and
he did nothing to save him along with RDJ. Maybe all of it-
Because maybe none of it happened. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. He
could just be just a guy losing his fucking mind. Then even the-
That's kind of Philip K. Dick's take on it, is the story, isn't it? You've read the book,
and isn't that really what it is? You don't know what's real and what's not.
There still has to be a baseline of somewhat kind of truth to it.
I think there is. I think the bikes-
But then it sets up things where like, oh fuck, even that could be not real. This suspended
like disbelief. It's kind of done to make you not know.
I think we see a lot of his real life. I think we see that as he's getting progressively
more paranoid, I think we see the bike scene. I think that's real. I think the bike scene
outside is real. If you're that kind of crazy, you're going
to take things that are real and just put them in a story. Listen, I've known some drug
addicted people that are harder drugs, and that's what they do. You'll go fix their bike
or whatever, and then later there'll be some whole story to it that never happened, but
it was never any of that other-
Yeah. Exactly. Hard drugs can make you think. He could be thinking that there's a secret
organization that's watching everybody, and he is watching his own life. At the end of
it all, maybe he overdoses. Maybe as he's overdosing, his last thoughts are go to a
garden and then he realizes that his girlfriend was behind it all the whole time. The ultimate
paranoid fantasy conclusion would be, and my girlfriend who wouldn't let me touch her,
the reason behind it all was that she... Maybe it was because he's disgusting, because when
he was even trying to fuck that prostitute, she told him to brush his teeth because he's
gross. Maybe he's just this gross. Maybe he lost his wife because he's just these drugs
that made him a fucking disgusting human being.
This could all be in the mind of some homeless dude on the side of the road. Listen, I've
known a drug addict.
Yeah, it's like Smiley Face.
Yeah.
This is Dark Smiley Face. It's Sad Face. This is Sad Face, the movie. I love it.
Things from real life, I know a guy who heroin will do that specific thing to you. I know
a guy who has called me on the phone, literally called me and said, you've got to come get
me. They're after me. Nothing that exists, no one exists. Literally running through a
field, scratches his legs off on the cactus here and shit, just all fucked up. You go
pick him up and take him to rehab because he's so fucked up, he thinks all this shit's
real, that's not. To him, it is so real.
Mike, when you had your heart attack, they had you on some heavy drugs.
Right.
You called people. You got your phone. You snuck it and you started calling people and
you started going, hey, listen, I'm at the hospital. They're trying to kill me. They're
trying to harvest my horny. They're trying to kidnap me.
Listen, no, this is how bad those fever dreams were in those drugs in the hospital. I called
my wife one night to come get me. I told her I was in, what is the little town halfway
between here and Phoenix? Wikia.
Wikia.
At a Chinese restaurant and they were draining my blood and selling me as Chinese food.
Whoa. That's some deep-seated Chinese racism there, Mike.
That's my way home, Mike.
It literally happened.
That's my way home. I have to drive through that.
That's from whatever they give you in the hospital when you have a heart attack.
You realize I'm going to think of that every time I drive by that little rocket with Snoopy
and Woodstock on it.
Wait, why is there Snoopy and Woodstock?
That's a weird sign they have.
But what I'm telling you-
Is there a Woodstock and Snoopy thing in the town?
No, just some, I don't know, someone-
That shit is real though to me. That's what I'm saying. In my mind, still to this day,
even though I know that's all bullshit and it didn't really happen, in my mind, it did.
It's like a fucking movie in my head. Still to this day.
Bro, I've done salvia, which is the hardest fucking drug I've ever done. Salvia is the
most illegal shit that you can go to some places in California and buy just from a guy
at a smoke shop.
You pack one bowl of this shit. You take one rip of this shit. You exhale. The moment you
exhale, it takes about 30 seconds and your entire body goes through an out of this world,
out of body, complete acid times 2,000 style trip.
I have done it a handful of times. There have been times where my body was just split into
a million pieces vertically and then each one just fell elegantly forward. Really, if
you just look at me, I'm just like-
I'm just falling forward ever. But in my mind, it's this beautiful magical giant multicolored
just ribbons just falling off my body. It felt cool. I was just melting. I loved it.
Is it like a movie like this stuff? That's the way it is for me. I can look back. It's
like it really happened.
That's what I'm saying. Every single memory I have is as real as- it's like in that moment
of my life, that's what I experienced. Really, here's the kicker. With memory, we exist of
just memory. That's all we are. We're just meat sacks with a bunch of memories fueling
us forward. We can only go off of what we remember and what we've experienced. That's
all we are. We're just like any other animal. We just have access to the internet and shit,
so we're allowed to dump information to our brain to give us more informed decisions moving
forward. But we still go off of what we've experienced.
If you go back and you replace memories in your head with these insane drug-fueled fucking
fantasy things and they are legitimately memories in your head, then who's to say you didn't
actually do those things? Because in the brief snapshot of time, that's what happened.
You experienced it, right.
And your consciousness transcended to an outer world experience. I once did salvia with some
friends and my whole body disappeared. It was replaced by water and on each one of my
feet, land sprouted and land started popping up all across my body until I was like a world.
And then on each leg, like life, primordial life started from the oceans. I saw little
fish crawling up onto the land. I saw them evolve into humans. I saw the humans make
like villages. I saw the villages become colonies and cities and countries. And then they all
met and started full blown war on my chest. And anytime somebody said the word spy, I
felt stabbing daggers in my ears because I knew that there were little CIA bases building
up in my ear canals. And I fucking until like there's no, in my mind that happened. In
my mind, my body disappeared, became an entire world that evolved. Nukes went off, wiped
out everybody. And then it all just kind of disappeared. I got back to my body because
salvia only lasts 10 minutes. So for 10 minutes of my life, I was a fucking God like hyper
being experiencing something that no other human in the existence of humankind has ever
experienced in that capacity. And who's to say that didn't really happen because that's
all I just exist from memory. What's weird about that one is it's really happening all
over your body right now. Another weird thing is that that's also an episode of Futurama.
I saw you at a level, I mean, that's kind of like real. I was going to ask him if he
just watched that episode of Futurama before that trip. You were doing so good until everyone
died. Maybe it could have been, but it doesn't fuck you for taking a shower. Even if I was
and it all leads back to final shower. Oh, you killed everything. Oh, no. I mean, it
was it wore off by then. I mean, the first time it doesn't matter. We can go all day.
Well, this is what skater darkly is. Just talking about hard drugs and like, but yeah,
I mean, like the very first time when we heard it was when I had met a friend, like just
a dude the night before the hookah bar, just some guy, we hit it off and like, you know,
like we spoke some hookah together and it was cool. I was like, oh, yeah, cool. Nice
to meet you. He's Shane's. He's a great friend of mine. And the next day, though, I had heard
that Salvia was legal. And so I called him up and the first thing I said to him was,
hey, man, it's Andy. We just met the other day. I just found out some drug was like legal.
Would you like to go buy some and do it with me? And he's like, yeah, because he had like
a like a house. So I was like, cool. And so we bought some Salvia. We did it right there
in the parking lot because we're like, hey, it's legal. How are we going to get in trouble?
So we pulled a little ball and smoked it. I straight up just disappeared, became a drop
of ketchup on a little conveyor belt and just just listening to music. I just went into
a giant drop of like a giant bottle of ketchup and got squirted onto a hamburger and then
woke up. So it's so interesting to me that you try it a second time because after my
heart attack, thinking the experience I'm talking about, I would never again want to
go through that. That's the thing with those kind of drugs is I don't understand how people
get hooked on them because it is not pleasant. You don't get hooked. What do you mean? I'm
not done it. I've done it. I'm not speaking specifically. I'm talking about like this
movie like the deep. Oh, so when you do that, once you go, oh, shit, I want some more of
that. Well, I think with this one. Yeah, I think with this one, it doesn't start like
that. Like I think it starts. It gets progressively worse as your brains get fucked up from the
drug because that's like there's like more on meth or speed. Yeah, like once. Once those
signs start to come and appear, you're already fucked. Well, that's what I'm saying. You
meet these meth heads around, you know, and you're like, why would you continue the first
time? I understand what you're addicted. I understand the addicted part of it. I'm saying
everybody tries once. Almost anything you do once isn't going to take you unless you
continue. So the point is why would you try it once and you get and you turn into a fucking
ketchup drop? Would you try it again the next time? That's where I have the trouble. So
that's why I don't. That's what I'm saying. It's like me choosing to go back to being
bad. I can tell you, I've done, no, I've done, I've done salvia probably 12 or 13 times.
Right. I, and the thing is, is that, and I won't do it again because just, I mean, I
don't think I need to maybe one more time when I'm older. But it doesn't sound pleasant.
What are you talking about? Did you not hear me when I said I turned into a drop of ketchup
on a conveyor belt? And when it's, how is that not just an insane thing to have to go
through? Like that's my point. It's insane. And it makes you, it made me feel like I'm
losing my mind. That's the thing. That's okay. Why watch Alice in Wonderland? If you don't
want to experience the trippy nightmare of a girl going through a rabbit hole, why watch
a movie like what dreams are made of? If you feel what I'm watching it, what it's, what
it's happening to you, it feels real. Hold on. Listen, listen to me. When you watch a
movie like Alice in Wonderland, what dreams are made of, any movie that has a big fantasy
element, what are you trying to do? Lose yourself in the movie. You want the suspension of disbelief.
You want as much as humanly fucking possible to be inside the movie. That's what everyone
wants when you watch a movie. There are levels. Hold on. Well, then fine. Then I guess, let
me finish. For me, when I want to watch a movie, I want to experience the movie full
force. That's why I have a VR. I bought the VR specifically so that I can immerse myself
in the most possible way where I could do the void blackout screen, where it's just
blackness and a move and a screen and nothing can distract me. The problem is, of course,
when you go to the movie theater and you're around people and they just, they distract
you. That's why I don't want to go to movie theaters, right? I want to have a full experience
the right way. So what's the next level of watching a movie in VR? It would be taking
a drug that lets you experience what these directors would love their fucking viewers
to experience. When you watch a movie like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, or you watch
a movie like this, or you watch a movie where it has these psychological fuck you trippy
moments in them. Like the director wants nothing more than to make the viewer feel like they
themselves are the same drug as the character. So doing the drug yourself in real life is
the closest thing you can get to experiencing what that is. So when I do, when I did Salvia
and I got a 10 minute out of body, absolute insane, like few moments, 10 minutes, few
minutes, whatever it was, I once did it alone in my room. And it was in my boxers and I
smoked and I started sweating and I was like, okay, I laid down on my bed and I immediately
started riding a drop of sweat from my forehead like a roller coaster down my entire body
to my toes. So I was just like going down my nose over the lips and I was like going
around my chin. It was fucking insane and exhilarating. And when I got to like chest
hair, I was like weaving through trying not to fucking hit like like chest hair. I went
around my own dick. My own dick was a mountain to me as I was fucking going down on a bead
of sweat. Do you have any idea what kind of like that's why you had to keep chasing that
feeling. Exactly. The self confidence it gives you when you're in your own dick is like the
Matterhorn. You're going past it like we're at the root of it. Salvia addiction. I just
want to see my dick as a mountain. But I'm saying like that is something that I would
never trade for anything and that nothing but a drug could make me experience. So why
not try it? But there are stories out there and they're real. Obviously we've met all
met people who never come back from one of those trips. For fucking sure. And that's
the problem. No, the drug is insanely terrifying. My buddy and I did it once at a cabin and
our girlfriends were with us at the time. Right. We did it at a cabin. We just both
did it right. And we both like without saying a word, we're just drawn to jumping off the
balcony and we started like heading towards the balcony climbing up it to jump off a second
story roof into some snow. And like it was a terrible idea. And I don't know if it was
suicidal or if it was we wanted to be with commune with God or whatever. I don't remember
that one as well. I think it's because we were drinking. So I don't think you should
drink and do salvia because we were doing some shots and then we decided to smoke salvia.
And then we literally tried to kill ourselves. But our girlfriends had to pull us off the
back. No, Mike, I'm telling you, we were on the balcony looking at each other about to
jump and they, they pulled us up. But that's my point. There's a risk reward that you have
to balance. Okay. And what I'm telling you is the risk is not worth the reward of that
10 minutes that you get in your brain. That's there. Now that memory is now worth the risk
of going back and trying again. I understand the first time because it's a curiosity thing.
But then when you go catch up, wasn't enough if I got stuck in that world. But here's the
thing. Catch up wasn't terrifying. Catch up wasn't enough. The body Futurama thing was
awesome. Braver than me. Dick Mountain loved it. The I should stop saying I love Dick Mountain.
Have you guys have any of you guys seen our ship here talk about his little salvia trip
that he did it live on the Joe Rogan podcast? No, he smoked salvia live on the podcast and
he's just like, wait, when did you do it? Ten minutes. He's like, this is a long time
ago. But he comes out of it and he explains that he went to the bottom of the ocean and
he was like a fish person and he met other fish people. And for three years he lived
there and like had relationships and friendships. He had a wife, he had little fish people kids
and then and then he came back up out of it. And it took 10 minutes, but in his brain it
was three years. Yeah, 10 minutes. Yeah, it's terrifying. Mike, no, no, no. Do you ever
fear you're still tripping? What? You ever fear you're still tripping? What if you're
still tripping? I would love to wake up 20 years ago. I think this may have solved something.
The nines is a salvia trip. The whole movie is a salvia trip. No, but I did I did one
my buddy. I'm Ryan Reynolds. I'm a Mormon friend and he plays a guitar and he was this
was like in between him going back to being a Mormon. It was like during his like his
rumspringer. I had a Mormon friend and it's salvia with one. No, no, no. He he was on
his like rumspringer of Mormon and they don't have one, but he just sort of quit being a
Mormon for a while. He's got his own rumspringer. He has his own rumspringer. During his rumspringer,
we did some drugs and he we did salvia and we went up to this cabin that his family owned
and it was like a little rundown. There's like wild animals there because they had sort
of sold it a while ago and it hadn't been sold like it hadn't been removed in or up
there. It was a good spot to do drugs. It's all I'm saying. And we we go up there and
he starts playing the guitar. He starts playing the Beatles. I think Bluebird or Blackbird
is a Blackbird. Blackbird. He starts playing it as I'm doing my salvia. The entire cabin
is cartoonified. I'm talking Disney level quality animation. I'm now on a log going
down a beautiful sunny like like a river. There's I mean I'm literally getting full
blown animated like trees and shit. I went full cartoon, full cartoon for 10 minutes
of my life. Full cartoon, Mike. Can you tell me you've ever gone full cartoon? You haven't.
You haven't gone full cartoon. You haven't gone full cartoon if you could. Now here's
the thing. It's just like any one of those. No I don't want to amble on my head. What
if you in that world uh your life is then having a bad trip it's like, Dan I've worked
this fucking. This podcast. You just watch the worst fucking movies all the time. There's
this guy Mike. He always says he's Cellios. What No it would be more than that. You'd
it would be, and it still sucks.
I'm just kidding.
No, but it would be, yeah, I mean, I'm just saying
that doing, it's like when it's like,
would you take a superpower if it was a randomly,
a lauded superpower?
I would say yes, because even, as long as it doesn't,
you don't get one of the shitty ones like Toad,
and it turns you, and you have to now walk around
like a Toad, and like, you know, like, that's a gross one.
I wouldn't necessarily, but Toad in the bedroom, right?
Someone has to kiss you to make you turn human
for like an hour.
Oh no, I meant Toad from X-Men with that tongue.
If Salvia is like a random slot machine of like,
it's like, you're literally just pulling a slot machine,
and you're getting 10 minutes of completely,
100% out of body experience.
Now, I've had people take it and feel relatively nothing.
That's me.
You've taken, yeah, there is people that take it.
Every time I've tried it, nothing.
Nothing, and they get, and there's absolutely.
Not even like weed, nothing, just like a mild buzz
for like five minutes. Absolutely nothing, right?
It's insane, but then on the other hand,
I have people who, like me, when they take it, it is,
so you might not even be programmed mentally
to be able to receive Salvia, but if you can,
it'll fuck your shit up for 10 minutes
in the most extreme way.
That's the closest I can think of to anything
where you would think bugs were actually
crawling over your body, because when I say
that I was riding, when I say dick mountain,
I'm riding down that sweat roller coaster,
it was, I could feel right now, the wind in my face.
I could see my legs, it's like, oh man,
I need to tan my upper legs more.
Did you get to your toe and fly off into nothing?
No, I think what happened was,
just like any other Salvia experience, it's like.
What's that? Stuck on dick mountain.
Just like all stuck. Just after the pubed forest.
It sounds like you smoked an episode,
like a deleted scene from Osmosis Jones.
Or a movie.
Dick mountain the movie.
Hold on, hold on, I love what you just said,
but what did you say?
Or I, what do you mean what did we say?
Dick mountain the movie.
No, it seems like all these trips are just like,
you watched a movie or a show.
It's like, this sounds, the first one was that episode
of Futurama, and then dick mountain sounds like
you just watched Osmosis Jones.
Yeah.
Osmosis Jones and Honey I Shrunk the Kids
all together.
Escape from dick mountain.
Two twins separated at birth, my balls.
Rotoscope it, we have to rotoscope it, right?
It has to be rotoscope.
My two balls separated at birth meet and get superpowers.
And they meet at dick mountain.
Fried Rice Podcast presents Escape from Dick Mountain.
Sequel to the rock, specifically the rocks
that spring from which mountain.
From the creators of
Ghosts of Battle Earth.
Yes.
Ghost of Battle, wait what is it?
Ghosts of Battle Earth.
Or I thought it was Ghosts of Battlefield Mars, no.
Ghosts of Battle, Battle Mars, Battlefield Mars, yeah.
It feels about, it's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
Well anyway, thanks for letting me reminisce about.
Dick Mountain.
And yeah, about Dick Mountain specifically I guess.
Dick Mountain, the ketchup factory, and the vendor rice.
I mean I had more but it's just like that's when I,
when I think of why people choose to take drugs
that alter their mental state, I get it.
I get it because experiencing,
it's like the closest thing you can get to superpowers.
That's why I liked Adderall so much.
Adderall was the closest thing in the world
to the Limitless pill.
You take, if you've seen the movie Limitless,
Bradley Cooper takes a pill and all of a sudden
he starts writing books and he's super fucking focused
and he becomes the like president or whatever,
like a governor or whatever.
It's like, holy shit right?
Adderall, you take one of those and your whole world
just lights up and everything slows down.
It's like you've got clock stopper watch
and you've just slowed the reality around behind you
and you're just moving slightly faster than everybody else.
You got a speed boost in real life
and it does, it's like mentally you're speed boost.
Physically you feel faster.
It's like just everything.
But we already live that way.
I mean if we talk about that all the time
it's kind of how our, so if you,
it makes you like three times for you or I
because like we talk about the other idiots at work,
you know they're moving at half speed all the time.
Whoa, hey listen, they might listen to the podcast.
So let's not mention names.
I'm sure they already hate Mike.
No I'm just kidding.
It doesn't matter.
But Mike doesn't care.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I mean I don't know.
I would say kids.
Do drugs is a.
Adderall makes you feel like you're fucking,
the mental equivalent of God
and salvia will make you feel like you're,
I don't know, just salvia is a random slot of
if it works you're gonna experience something
that no one else in the history of humankind
will ever experience.
You will have an experience truly to your own
and it will be a memory imprinted in your head forever.
You heard it here first.
Andy Rice says children make sure you do lots of drugs.
Yes.
Just don't do coke, heroin or meth.
Just do Adderall and salvia.
You'll be fine.
Adderall, salvia and weed.
You wanna be like Andy.
Do too much Adderall then stop.
Do too much salvia then stop.
You wanna surf on your own body and have
a civilization grow on your chest.
Be like, I wonder when people listen to this
they're gonna be like wait a minute.
Okay, this weed, these guys didn't smoke a bunch of weed
then they watch an anti-drug movie
and they go about how good drugs are.
Welcome to Fried Rice Podcast.
We don't care what you identify as, what drugs you do.
The good guys into the bad guys and the bad into the good.
Wait till fucking.
The guy in the Middle East is like,
I cannot relate to this at all.
This episode is terrible.
They kill us for doing drugs here.
Our one Middle Eastern guy.
Hey Middle Eastern guy, hit us up
if you're still listening.
Give us a call.
Call, leave a voicemail.
Friedricepodcast.com.
We'll call you back, we'll get you on the show.
This is why we hate these imputas.
If you call us we will give you a movie pic.
He's probably gonna have to dial like 11208884455-
then our number.
Yeah, whatever the country code is.
And I once saw a movie in a different country,
in Belgium, and they had two different subtitles in the bottom.
And I hated it every second of it.
So I don't know if that has to do with anything.
Yeah, I'll add one to that.
I was looking at my Snapchat and I found the Snap map
where you could just go look at Snapchats
anyone posted for the whole world to see.
I went over to North Korea
and there's just one little,
it feels like a little clouds all over the map
where a bunch of people are posting snaps.
So like you click on like one area in New York,
maybe there's something going on at Madison Square Garden,
everyone's posting it to Snapchat, so you'll see all those.
But there is just one little clip in North Korea
and it's just some guy watching 30 Rock.
Oh, which is probably like some fucking
baller ass thing to do out there.
I think he was trying to brag somehow.
Dude, he's like, hey, listen bitches,
I got fucking 30 Rock throwing, did you say 30 Rock?
30 Rock.
Yeah, he's like, I thought he said third Rock
from the Sun for a second, I love that one too.
But he's like, yeah, I got 30 Rock playing motherfuckers.
He's the most badass person in North Korea.
It's just five seconds of like a hotel room
and you see it moving and you see the TV
and the 30 Rock on the TV.
I'm like, that guy's just trying to fucking.
He's dead.
He's fucking dead now.
He's dead now.
Shout out to 30 Rock North Korea guy.
Dude, 30 Rock North Korea guy, that five seconds
is the most brave thing that anyone's
ever done in that country.
But fuck, he's dead.
They found him, they killed him.
They made a public example of him,
that's not gonna be on TikTok.
I think the only people with social media
are the people in the government, like in the main thing.
Too bad your nukes can't hit fucking Arizona bitches.
They'll get, you know, right?
I'm challenging him like Trump did
before they hit the ground.
Come at me, bro.
Didn't Trump do that when North Korea was like,
we're gonna do nuke techs.
Well, we might nuke you and then Trump's like,
yeah, fucking try it bitch, we'll fucking destroy you.
Hey, let's go play some golf.
Yeah, and then.
Game buddies with him, yeah, yeah.
It sucks that now like Putin and Kim Jong-un
are like buddies now.
And then Trump's like gonna be going to jail
and he's just like, aw man, like,
I wanna hang out with them, like my two favorite people.
Those are my friends.
We could do something, like all together.
You know, if the Chinese president gets involved
in that little trifecta.
Pooh?
Is that his name, Pooh Bear?
Yeah, let's just piss off everybody.
If Pooh Bear and Kim Jong, whoever the fuck,
and Putin, poota, poota little bitch.
Your words, not mine.
If they all get together and start sucking each other off
and fucking doing all that stuff.
Wait, but that's another South Park episode.
I'm just saying, I don't care what they do
behind closed doors, as long as they don't touch me, right?
Because that's my rule as a human.
But that's scary, that's like an axis forming, isn't it?
Like an axis of evil, who said that?
That's what I'm saying, like it looks fucked up.
This is some World War III shit.
Yeah, Bush started, talked about that.
George Bush Jr., the littler, the younger one.
George W.
George W, yeah.
I don't think he's littler.
Well, I guess he is littler, he's not as tall as his dad.
Yeah, but anyway, he actually called those three the axis
of evil years and years ago.
Well, he had a point.
He's throwing Saddam Hussein in there.
When Cheney told him to say that, that was very nice.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, anyway, this has been Scanner Darkly,
let's give it a rating.
So were they right to fuck up Keanu Reeves' brain
and put him in a new position?
Well, if it's all real, then he grabbed that flower
at the end and was like, I'm gonna take this
to my friends at Thanksgiving.
I mean, then yeah,
because then they're gonna take down that farm.
I like the meme of that.
I finally got figured out where that meme was from.
It's like when you find the most vile, disgusting, real,
and it just shows Keanu Reeves a present for my friends.
Yeah.
If it's, well, listen, you know me when it comes to-
Sequel?
When it comes to-
Sequel?
No, you know what this is-
He's the hero and he's all brained.
He's like, you did it, Keanu.
No, I think that the clip they're missing
is the end of that Black Mirror episode
where the guy does the play test.
Where, you know, it's like one of those type of things
where it's just like he's in that lab with those doctors.
They're trying to have him pick out the different things,
but he's really just a brain dead fucking vegetable
having like a episode where he sees these people
walking around like a well-known writer
and he imagines them as being part of a grand illusion.
I like your Black Mirror,
because I put it's like train spotting
by way of the Twilight Zone.
It's very close to what I was saying.
Yeah, it is a little train spotty,
a little Twilighty Zone, a little, yeah.
So here at Fried Rice Podcast,
we rate our movies stupidly.
We start with B, we don't have an A.
We got rid of it.
We said, fuck it, we're better than A.
We're gonna go one below it as our highest.
So B, B+, you get it, that's our highest.
And then we go all the way down to F.
Skipping E, again, just fuck it.
We don't want E's in here.
No E's, E's not for everybody.
And then we get A Special Place in Hell,
reserved for the very worst,
the absolute trashiest of movies,
which people often think are the ones that I pick.
Uh, and that's the W.
A waste of fucking time.
You picked Slipstream?
Oh yeah, that's, I will say, yeah.
Slipstream was awesome here, yeah.
So fucking W, it's a waste of time.
It's our worst grade.
Movie has to be a real fucking shit show
for you to pick it.
Saying that, we're not talking,
I don't think we're talking about a W movie whatsoever.
This is Scandered Darkly.
Looks great, well acted, all about drugs,
based on a book Austin likes.
Director's done some great stuff.
Who doesn't like School of Rock?
Who doesn't like Dazed and Confused?
He's great.
He's done some cool shit when he goes commercial.
He's done some cool shit when he goes indie.
Winona Ryder kills it.
Rory Cochran, who plays Freck, was awesome.
They're all great.
I give it, like a,
I was teetering B minus C plus,
but I think after talking about it
and thinking about more about it,
I'm thinking going B minus.
So B minus.
Or me.
All right.
So Austin.
Me, I just, I thought it was a great movie.
I'm not giving it a bad grade.
I did like the book a lot more,
just because there was more to it.
But I'm just gonna go C plus.
Nice little,
not mid, but not the best thing I've ever seen.
Got you.
I'm gonna balance his C plus with a B.
Straight B, because this is a thought provoking,
well done movie.
There's really nothing bad you could say about this movie.
It's not for the budget and for the things.
I mean, you just have to,
nine million dollar movie that holds up.
I mean, this is 20 years later.
We just watched it and had an hour long discussion
about all things it made us think about.
That to me is the sign of a good movie.
Visually holds up as well.
I think it'll hold up another 20 years from now.
I think you watch this movie at any time
and get what the director is going for visually.
I think it Bs, yeah, that's good.
Yeah, no, I definitely,
I was leaning on a straight B,
but after the hour conversation about Dick Mountain,
I'm gonna go B plus.
Nice.
Nice, Dick Mountain does it again.
Brings it up.
You carried the movie to the top of Dick Mountain.
The top of Dick Mountain has gotten me through a lot of shit.
Wait, hold on, that would imply some things.
It's the only safe place from Andy's chest war.
Yeah, I know.
That phrase alone, yeah.
No, but it's a hard,
I think that's why you didn't take very many notes.
It wasn't hard.
Look, it wasn't hard.
But it's a movie that you watch, you think,
and you obviously try to figure out what's real,
what's not real, and it still holds up years later.
B plus.
Fuck it, yeah, so we're at a strong B.
I think for sure a B.
Because we got B minus B, B plus, C plus.
Yeah, that's B.
Strong ass B for Skater Darkly,
which it rightly is deserved.
Before we get into recreational recommendations,
which we have awesome music for,
which I don't think I fucking put in the last episode.
I'm so sorry everybody, I'll do it on the next one.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Before we get into that,
Brennan is our movie pick of the week.
Next week is gonna be Mike.
Following that will be me.
So Brennan, I hope you pick what I think you hope you pick.
Yeah, you were talking about the double features.
Yeah, but there was one
that doesn't have a double feature that you mentioned.
There was one that I did mention.
That is what I picked.
So it stars Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss.
What about Bob?
I didn't have a double feature for that one.
No.
Okay, interesting.
He went with the.
I didn't wanna have too many movies to watch this week.
Is this the one with the question mark at the end?
Yes.
Yeah, yes.
Like there's another one.
Yeah.
So what about Bob?
Interesting movie.
Good.
You guys picked this one about me.
I have not seen this.
Oh yeah.
I wish Bob was in this episode.
I love this movie.
This is classic.
You all seen it?
I have not.
Because I have not either.
So it'll be us again.
Classic, funny.
Richard Dreyfuss, right?
Yes.
Richard Dreyfuss.
Bill Murray.
Pretty old movie, what year?
80s, right?
Yeah, it was.
91. 91.
Okay.
Yeah, it's very funny.
It's a Bill Murray movie.
A month long family vacation in New Hampshire
becomes a psychiatrist undoing
when his most dependent patient tracks him down
at his rental property.
Yeah.
Richard Dreyfuss is the psychiatrist.
Yeah, it sounds a lot like another movie I saw about like,
I'm trying to remember who it was.
There's a movie with.
What is it?
The Joker, my brain just went blank.
Joaquin Phoenix.
No, the real Joker.
Mark Hamill.
The real Joker.
Heath Ledger.
The real Joker.
The old school.
Or wait, what are you talking about?
The Lord from 66 back then?
Jack Nicholson or?
Yeah.
No, Jack Nicholson.
Jack Nicholson.
Yes.
The real Joker could have been any of them.
There's a movie from, Jack Nicholson movie.
It's like him and his female side.
Hi.
Oh, that's based on a book too.
Is it The Band?
No.
That's Robert DeWitt.
No, it's Danny DeVito's start is in it.
Christopher Lloyd is in it.
That's a classic movie.
Yeah, it's a classic movie.
I can't remember the name right now.
I just vaguely remember that it's kind of
the same storyline though, right?
Well, that's more dramatic.
This is comedy.
So there's a movie that I love where Halle Berry
is a psychiatrist.
Nurse Ratched.
And she's taking care of Robert DeWitt Jr.
But then.
Wait, say that again?
Halle Berry is a psychiatrist and she's taking care
of Robert DeWitt Jr.
That's the serious part.
Just Halle Berry is taking care of Robert DeWitt Jr.
In a psych ward and then Limp Biz gets behind,
Blue Eyes comes on and Gothica happens.
And it turns out that she's really the patient
the whole time or is she?
One flew over the cuckoo's nest.
Exactly.
That's the one.
That's what I was stalling for time for.
So we were doing a lot of what is this movie
the last few minutes.
So anyway, what about Bob?
Just get that old guy on.
What about Bob.
And now we got recreational recommendations.
recreate recommendations
Look
I'll go first
Same stuff
The boys.
Watch all four episodes in one night.
I'm going to watch them tonight when I get home.
Oh my god.
And there's a lot of internet crap about it being,
oh, it's all anti whatever.
Who the fuck cares?
It's the boys.
It doesn't matter.
It's been that the whole time.
It's just what it is.
It's the boys.
Super satirical.
Yeah.
I mean, if you don't like people making fun of conservatives,
then I don't think The Boys is for you.
Also, news alert.
Don't watch Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
Right.
Exactly.
Or fucking The Daily Show.
I don't know.
Or The Daily Show at this point.
He's what the?
OK.
Brandon, you got any recs?
Yeah, actually, I went and saw with my teenager this week
The Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
Oh.
It was great.
Even if you haven't seen all of the newer ones,
you could still go see this one.
And it does kind of stands alone, separate,
separate own story.
Does explain enough of what happened leading up to it
to kind of get you brought up to speed.
But if you've seen them all and you like it, I recommend it.
It was great.
My thought on the Planet of the Apes movies
would be that I haven't seen these movies,
but I know that we're starting on Earth.
And I've seen the first one, but I haven't seen past that.
Because I had a mishap where I was trying
to watch the second one.
And I'm watching it.
I just see these fucking monkeys running around.
And they're just doing a bunch of shit,
communicating with each other.
And I don't know what they're saying.
I'm like, man, this is like 20 minutes of just fucking
monkeys jumping around.
I'm like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is going on?
And I don't know what's happening.
And then it cuts to some humans.
I'm like, well, thank God.
But I'm like, I'm missing critical parts of the story.
And then I realized the whole time,
there were subtitles for what the monkeys were saying.
So I just went the whole front part just thinking,
what the fuck?
Just monkeys talking?
I'm just watching monkeys talk.
I'm going, this sucks.
I'm like, this fucking sucks, bro.
I didn't know I needed to know ASL for this.
What did that monkey say to the other monkey
to make him so mad?
Why is there shit going on?
And so I just probably got high, just sitting there going like,
wait, now there's manimals?
What the hell?
Yeah.
And so I haven't watched past that.
But what I'm hoping for is that we've
seen the evolution of monkeys turning
into the supreme overlords in these movies, right?
Like, I think this war for the planet of the apes
would be, presumably, humans' the last ditch effort
to try to get the monkeys.
And the monkeys pretty much win.
Whatever.
The apes win.
I don't know.
We don't have to rule it.
But what I'm hoping for is that from the perspective
of the monkeys that we already have,
apes that exist from this bloodline
that we've started through this franchise,
that we get a guy that crashes from the reverse of it.
Now, we get a guy that crashes from time travel
from back in the day.
And he lands, or whatever, on this planet.
But we see it from the apes' point of view.
So we pick an ape as the main character
that we follow as this human person comes in.
That would be so cool.
Because the way they've shot it is
every other planet of the apes has been humans land
on the planet of the apes.
This has been from the organic point of view
of we are the planet of the apes.
So having someone land on planet of the apes
would be dope from this point of view.
Well, that's what happened to that Russian monkey, right?
I don't know what Russian monkey.
First monkey they shot at the space never came back.
He's gone.
Yeah, he did.
He probably did.
He's just like that North Korean TikToker, bro.
There's no probably dead.
He's definitely dead.
Or he's on a planet with oxygen sand.
Launched him into the sun.
Or he lands back now, and he's all smart like these apes.
Here's our movie for that one.
That monkey comes back to Earth.
He's been on another planet with aliens that made him smart.
And he comes back.
And he starts taking over.
So if you go by Ender's Game, the sequel logic,
when you travel faster than light speed, you travel.
So the time that you, the 40 years it takes you
to go light years, the place you just left,
by the time you get to your 40 year destination,
you will have aged hundreds of years, if not thousands.
I don't know what the exact date is.
And the opposite is also true.
So you will, yeah.
You, no, no, but you won't, you'll age 40 years.
You don't age.
No, you'll age 40 years.
You'll age the amount of time that you live inside the time
that you're existing in.
No, you don't.
Scientifically, you don't.
That's the point.
No, no, no.
What they're saying, when they say that, when the twin
experiment, which I think they're referring to,
where they have two twins, one living on Earth and one in space,
I think the one in space is traveling less.
He's moving so fast that he's, the time that we have experienced
is longer than what he is.
So what I'm saying is, if you travel faster than light speed
from Earth, and you go one light year, let's say a hundred years
on Earth has passed in that one year.
So you've experienced one year of growth, while everyone on Earth
has experienced 100.
So they did the experiment with the twins where they launched
them into space, and he was just far enough out in space,
where he went just fast enough to experience just enough less
aging than his twins.
So when he got back, there was an age difference between them.
So if you go off of that logic, then I mean, I don't know what
we were talking about initially.
You got me stuck on things.
The monkey that went to space.
Yeah.
So if he launched a monkey into space, and he went at light year
speed, and there was like a matrix style code in there where
he plugged it into the back of his head, and he gave him X
amount, well, he would still only have the same amount of time
that everyone else had.
So being in the spaceship, you don't really experience, the
only thing you do, it's time travel is what it is.
It is time travel.
So time travel exists.
A hundred percent.
If you want to time travel to the future, you can.
It takes X amount of years at light speed travel to time
travel to the future of a destination you just left.
So you would have to plan the trip to be like, all right, I want
to time travel a hundred years in the future, so I got to go
.5 light years this way,.5 light years back, and by the time I
get back, I've experienced a year of life.
It's now a hundred years later.
Right.
I can now play PlayStation X or whatever the fun is.
Yes.
So you could theoretically do that.
Yes.
Now, if that's possible, is it possible to somehow go
backwards?
Like, is it possible to somehow travel fast enough?
Well, you don't have to.
Then you are, the other people are going backwards.
The people on earth are going backwards in that.
The people on earth are not really going backwards.
Whoever you leave behind just experiences a hundred years of
regular growth.
Right.
But so like Ender, for instance, in the Ender game's
book, if you didn't read the book, sorry, or watch the movie
or whatever, but he ends up saving.
So he ends up destroying the aliens.
Sorry.
He ends up destroying the aliens at the end.
But there's one pod that he finds, like one alien that he
saves because he doesn't want the species to go extinct.
He knows that he destroyed them.
He feels real bad about it.
And he had a connection with this bug.
So that, him saving the last queen and bringing this bug
with him to go find a planet that would be suitable for this
alien existence to begin again with the hopes that they don't
become a warmongering race because the beginning of it is
going to have a more peaceful start.
And him and Ender had like a connection.
The fact of doing that starts a religion that by the time he
makes it to X amount of light years later, 20 years of
travel, 10 years of travel, whatever, it's been thousands
of years.
And that religion has now sparked people who routinely go
and pray to the god of like Ender or whatever in order that
he might visit their planet one day because they know that it's
possible for him to visit their planet because they know that
he's traveling at the speed of light, so he can do time
travel.
So he can, theoretically, your god in this situation could do
it.
Right?
So are we maybe on the, so like think about a god maybe.
If you take us, right, and we maybe are just billions,
hundreds of billions of years, right, of universe happening.
Well, you look at like the drawings in the pyramids and
stuff of like space travelers coming to them that know them
and stuff.
So like their gods were that.
So theoretically what you're saying is all like happened.
We could have had anybody passing through, dropping by,
giving us whatever the fuck and then bouncing on.
But now because of what they've done, they've created a ripple
effect behind them and we're just all, and always are, but now
we're all just advancing.
But at the same time, if they came back towards us to visit
what would happen, like reclaim what they've, so yeah, maybe
they came back, dropped a few holy books to see what would
happen and then fucking bounced, right?
Gave us technology, gave us the idea of consciousness.
Because you start thinking about like technology, no matter what,
if you really think about some of that shit, you're like,
where did it, okay, like Einstein.
That shit just popped up out of nowhere basically.
It wasn't like they were slowly working to get there.
Here's Einstein all of a sudden and all of a sudden,
E equals MC squared and everything from it all is different.
I think E equals MC squared stands for energy equals mass
time, the constant speed of light squared.
I don't know what that means, but I know that it's like.
The point is neither did anyone else.
He has the Rosen, he created the bridge, the multiverse bridge
or whatever, like I think that was part of his, somewhat that
people have expanded on.
I'm all for multiverse.
I'm all for every time we do something, it splits off and
starts something new.
We did, this is a weird recreational, what did you
recommend right now, what the fuck just happened?
I think we're hot.
What just happened right now?
You're becoming self-aware, Andy.
That's what happened.
I said kingdom.
What did you just say?
I put my microphone down like 10 minutes ago.
Here we go, we're going to go over two hours.
What the fuck happened?
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
My recommendation is the book, A Scanner Darkly,
read it, you'll like it.
I think probably a lot more than the movie and that's not
being mean to the movie.
It's not even a diss, right?
You're saying it's just that much, just that good.
There's more in it, there's more stuff.
If you like the movie, read the book and you'll get more out of it.
I think that's the thing you should do all the time.
If you haven't seen either, I would say read the book and
then watch the movie because that was a fun experience.
That's my rule and everything.
If there's a book.
I'm not reading the Fast and Furious books.
Are you kidding? It's called Toyota Camry Manual 2003.
I don't want to read Auto Trader either.
But I will say the One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,
that is one that I read the book of and then watched the film.
Different endings, different endings.
Yeah, but it's good.
I'll put it out there, the different ending.
In the movie, Donna is not Hank.
Hank unzips and it's a guy named Mike.
Then Donna takes him to New Path and he's like kind of
seizing out on the side of a highway somewhere and a cop rolls up on them.
But Bruce Keanu can't hear what they're saying and he's just like,
oh fuck, you're a federal agent?
She's like, shh, and then tells him to fuck off and then she brings him in there.
Then pretty much all the same stuff happens.
They have the meeting.
It's like, and then at the end,
the worst flash animation you've ever seen done by the guy,
gerbil in a microwave where it's just the top of Keanu's head
just fucking bobbing down some fucking bullshit. Credits.
Thank you, Richard Linklater.
All right.
Great. That was fun. So you recommend the book.
You recommend Monkeys.
You recommended the Bullies.
Salvia.
I recommend drugs. I recommend Salvia.
I recommend Adderall.
I recommend whatever gets you fucked up and high and what takes you to a new world.
Just go have fun.
Do it responsibly. Do it at home.
Ride your fucking dick mountain anyway you want.
Whatever takes you to dick mountain.
That's what we all said.
I think that's the new one at Six Flags, right?
Yeah.
Oh yeah. They do new rides all the time.
They did have a dueling roller coaster. It doesn't matter.
We've been fried. We've been rice.
We've been podcast.
With me as always is Michael.
He, you know, he's a good guy.
We all like him.
You know, he's a grandfather.
We pick on him a lot.
That's because he's an old ass little bitch.
Larsen.
Cellios motherfucker.
With me as always is Brendan.
Shippley up to Boston.
Have a good night everybody.
With me as always is Austin came up with a bunch of obscure websites three hours ago to be here today.
Feral. Peace.
And I've been your host Andy Rice.
This has been Fried Rice Podcast.
Thank you so much. Have a wonderful night.