I
fuck
in
the
pad
with
it
the
that's the smallest resident
of so much louder than i thought picking on this thing of so sorry
uh... with us
as always
is
michael larson
here
alright
as i did and figure all the way through god i thought looked at i'm so sorry
but this is new equipment so that was picking your system whatever i hope
this leveled out a lower p dot
we got a soundboard everybody
here
this is a new up hopefully better sounding season that it's ever been
before
i'd like to welcome you all to the season two finale which i totally
surprised by producer with uh...
and michael host
that's the nature of uh...
right right now
i guess you know looks like a fairly talk
dot i don't understand how much work
jesus christ it's it's
the other might be so much easier okay
uh... i have to turn up your stereo just in case
yet if i'm so sorry everybody and then but
probably don't turn it up because because then i see that there's some
so aggressive loud
because it's just seeing walls of volume on the screen
i don't know if i could i'm sorry everybody but hey listen we're trying
or it's it's hard out here for a pimp
do you remember that movie
it's that the one who are out here for a pimp no it's called a
also also
my mom
saw that movie
and when she left
she begged us kids to go on what i think
like pre app store
but like go on to the ring store like the ring the ringtone store
on her flip phone
you know like her early two thousand like go to that specific thing and get
her the uh... that's hard out here for a pimp
uh... ringtone and she had that for years
and she fucking
loved it
she thought the beat of it's hard out here for a pimp just hit different
and the thing is is like
ever since then i i know that she'd secretly probably be into rap but i
think just like
she never listens to it she's always listening to you know that classic uh...
not even
classic rock we're talking
beetles uh... be it like like fifty sixties rock
like i even think eighties hair metal is a little too little too much maybe
maybe she was a pimp and you never knew
and that song just resonated with her
or it's about my dad
maybe your dad was a pimp and my mom's is bottom bitch
yeah i'm sorry mom your dad's a mac okay
i never meant to say that
i feel bad immediately
took the one person i don't wanna make fun of remember which ringtone side it
was was the one with the crazy frog that you can never unsubscribe from
maybe uh... i
on us
i know that i had to use
type in the name
hard out here for a pimp
so i had to hit
for a bunch of times for the h
it once on the two or the one for the eight you know
so that was
that was fun remember call tones where you would call someone else on
apps of what the fuck happened that was the best
i don't know that
all that
this is
i'm almost at the positive just make a million dollars but
the fact that there's not an app right now where we can do call back
like just easily right now in the app store to be like
so you're saying
right now i could just install an app it'll it'll
like one eight two all the small things every time somebody calls
is of course that was a
that was a bigger or the phatel
six-year-old
you can do that now
i'm six feet from the edge
you could say you're going to a song
in your phone you can do that talking about
when people call you
they hear instead of
they hear instead of ring ring ring they hear a music
when they're calling your name is a really good set it up but you got it
when you're calling them or when they're calling you they call you when
that can do that now okay
right now
change your phones that the next time i i call mike
and mike has it on his phone i call mike instead of hearing ring ring ring i
hear the i'm an old bitch song like whatever
absolutely change your income anything you want
nobody does it anymore
i'm not saying it really work to look we're having a
like we're having a gen x versus millennial discussion right now
i'm not saying that yes when what when austin calls you your phone is going to
emit the ringtone
that you chose
i'm talking when he calls on his phone
what he's here
is a song
instead of ring ring ring
that's what we need
i think that's the
you're not claiming you could do that now okay
i'd knew that there was a miss a miscommunication here
we all know ringtones exist that we can put
mike's looking at us like we're fucking morons how did i master technology over
these younglings
it doesn't have to be just
you can change it to whatever you want
it would raise we know you old bitch
we're talking about from his phone
it would ring for one second and then it would switch to whatever song they
chose oh i know my mom had i hate everything about you but i like what was
that
hey
everything about you
you
uh... continue uh...
uh... that's by uh... three days grace
period great which is
great
you know what them and uh... i was just buck ross shabelle
it's just one of the ship held i
just
it's the second to show that up
you know what
great too
you know what outside
it's all side
what even is like it's all side notes
side note of mike what what my favorite
uh... books to read is it was a child
uh... as a team or
whatever young young kid
what i see and i recommend the state any young person listening if you have kids
is um...
animals right as we all remember that
k a apple gate
the author to go
kathryn aplegate her husband
wrote
those books
also wrote a series called ever world
it's it's either one world one word or two ever world it's one of like
pronounce it right
and it's
absolutely
one of like the coolest
like book it covers like all different sorts of like ancient god
it doesn't matter
like so far right
but um...
the reason i bring this up
is uh...
when i was reading those books and loved them
they released a cd
called uh...
ever world experience
and it had three
it had a shit
a chavelle song
a a song by uh...
by uh... fast
you know that song uh... touched by fast
what am i doing this just
we're all wondering that ever world there's no audio books uh... i was more
of a zoo books kid
zoo books
i never had to go never got to have a i'd just watch the commercials i was my
zoo books all that's fucked up my parents had national geographic
and i did see
we had sports illustrated
swimsuit edition so i mean
i feel like you're trying to bring us into your book club andy
just a little plug for wednesday night book club
i'll go i'll go if there's pictures
okay gotcha pop-up books
speaking of which just a little sneak preview of
a future what's in it
i
aim going to
to listen to all
fifty one hours of
the entire htp
collection
for you guys the audience kiss no one asked me to are you gonna stream it live
to fifty one hour straight
just just use it in your chair
yet
it was used on the couch
edges my reactions is while shouting he will not divide us
it
i don't understand the reference
that was the child but you're the one who brought up the child of a thing i
don't know if i've seen it
i just knew about it as you about it like
that whole i watch the whole thing you'd like
he did that right like
there's a lot of the movie theater
what they know he's going to sell
that mean two episodes we watched him get murdered camera yeah
that's pretty great
you know what i want to do
we can't we can't do a youtube child of a p dot right now
but as much as i want to as much as it's calling out to me we just can't do that
right
yeah we really do
uh... but
i bought a tiny spinner
on my quest so i have this
i've a quest to find the world's tiniest boys
that that were
pictures of my childhoods
like of my childhood did you already find that like that was one of your jokes
yeah i know
thank you
i don't get your guy like that let me let me do the joke now
yes i did
well now that i can't
the five-star uh... i but i did
what i've been i'd
i was on a quest to find the world's tiniest stretch arms are i think i've
talked about
pockets that's what i want to do it
it up it unblocked
obsession with
it's so i thought
world's tiniest person who wants to first
we're not going to put this on film but who wants to do what's happening is what spin
art
andrew s
will let you go first
what do you explain what it does what i did if you remember spent our when you
were a kid
it's a little disk you put a
paper on and spent in you spent around and you put
it makes a little art
that are spent our
was very popular
chill lose all the little bottles
so it goes to okay so also
grab this little violent but what what color do you want you pick a color blue
okay i want blue that's green
so if we mix green and
the purple you know i felt like that was a stupid
okay stupid they are yes you got to perfect pop the pop those bad boys off
brennan you wanna grab the mic
uh... commentate on this a little bit
this is this is yet that
so that you small here for
it was a lot take a little take a little top
you very careful
okay don't let the in
you sure this must be a kid's toy it is now
i'm gonna spin this and you're just gonna drop in the ready
is that led-based
all my god so cool now wait
now you put the purple
says a little but you press on it yet
uh...
yet looks
will all right
you ready for your summer
the guy that does this on you too
yet what you want to have
that you really put a lot of purple
it's very pretty though i would be trying to get out there
it'd be
they look like little hippie
will we have to make sure
okay well great that was a place to
nine ninety nine
he didn't even have fun playing with it
you spin it again
it yeah i mean we can hear you what all of the thing up in
it'll attract you know it's but i think it might be another people in it
that's it's a one-time use nine ninety eight didn't even use the red
uh...
it's due to
at that time
adding all
it went all the way through
uh...
well i have copies of the same art
so
so we're supposed to
we're supposed to take off the sort of soaking that shit group
over one hundred original
all on our page
we're going to come over an exclusive recall the tiny spinner
here
collection
it's going to be the same tears every other tear
price-wise five dollars but the first one to claim it gets a tiny little
spitting next week we're going to do tiktok challenges
reprobate bands around a watermelon while we're talking about the movie
so it explodes
we do that
sure will be the ice bucket challenge
i did that
i did it too
i don't know if i spoke challenge i've been taking it away what am i doing
this is the longest i've gone through an episode without that place been art
before fifteen minutes
what are we fifteen minutes i have a smoke a fucking thing
all my dot what are we smoking anyway
this uh... or smoke right now is
that we've from the syndicate
it is uh...
the week's call the strains called obama
uh... and the dominant hybrid
dot
now i can finally get to look for you
what we do
spit
literally
i've had so i've so much to say about the movie that like i'm i'm just
thinking like why are we talking about anything
but the movie but uh...
uh... this is our season two finale but one of the people
listeners
uh... you know being on this journey with us
the last couple of seasons you know uh... season one was brought
we're gonna move that over to peter
uh... it's not
uh... we're gonna fix up our picture
remake it better
but uh...
we're gonna work you know work work make changes
buckle up
rice rice bands press presence
right as i can't people
sparkle up
season seven by twenty twenty six six six seven twenty twenty six
and a movie twenty twenty five
and a movie
all pocket
now not to not to discredit um... doctor god in any way
that improv
of very talented
have the opportunity to make a move
i don't see why
at some point down the line
last up let's get we've already had some great ideas
if mac and me let's just do a sequel
and i if mac and me i should have done the whole thing where i'm talking about
fucking like a flashlight but if we if mac can meet let's just do a seat by all
means dream big andy were more of a sh are confusing short film bunch of
people if anything
uh... yeah
we're like what the beetles tried to do a couple times when they got together to
make movies
just for drug addicts with the camera who was the was this
uh... i got shot
yellow submarine
after watching this movie i feel more confident that we can make a movie
that's what i'm saying
we just gotta get signed tallied involved
we might be able to convince them to make a sequel
uh... look listen i'm actually thinking
if we came up with a good enough adaptation of one of elron hubbard's
other stories and like in
and like really gave it a bit effort
and i'm not even
i'm not even saying
we'd be speaking about i'm saying we just make it
scientology
sci-fi
well if we had a result of a fine shelly first
okay we are going to maybe have to maybe not air this episode because we're gonna
have to
his of
she like that but there is going to be more shit like that so
uh...
this is going to be well we'll see but a site all of you
if you could take a joke
and you trust me you want to show
the world to take a joke right now
people are great
your scary organization but if you want to show
you could take a joke
union guys
duet uh...
battle filter
trust me by the end of my twenty pages of notes that i wrote for this fucking
movie
i have some ideas of what we can do
and i want it more than
i want it more than a mac and me too i want it more than a no escape to
back to the island
more than the mac flashlight
oh yes i want nothing more than a flashlight for the creators of the mac
flashlight battlefield earth to the starting will smith tom cruise and
john travolta
but yeah
uh... then you know what i'm afraid
just like i have a proper stick around my car
people can see my life
so they see me
drive around
i'm just afraid that someone's gonna actually listen to like just someone out
here's listen one of the episodes
it's here that should act
it just
i don't know attack me
with how much i drive in phoenix door dashing and how much chaos i cause on
the road i'm afraid to put the sticker on
that were finally in a start getting calls to be a
you'll you book drive like ship other booker get off the road i would kill for
some calls
if you can get us to get us some angry fucking calls broke i would say cut
people off on purpose
because then we have some voice mail to show
listen guys
i promise you
if you call the number of our website
you will not know what's gonna answer
it doesn't even rain it's just gonna go to a voice mail just leave a funny
voice model care
if it's anything just
were desperate
this is like
uh... i chose to put sauce video
of this
on on on someone's finger
it was just kind of twiddling its legs back and forth so it's it's like someone
second girl talking or love on the phone
just kind of laying on the couch into a leader to the pier p
that's what i want
well as near voice mail i want a little bit of that
that's what we got
what we spoke at home
uh... l a confidential no
oh bomb
i brought that one and then uh...
and then more
it will work okay
limit your lemon cherry gelato
cycle mike
you like that
cycle mike
your your tall
and you look like you walk around on stilts
he doesn't he doesn't have enough here to be a cycle
well that's true they all they all like you look the most like one of the uh...
dudes that one of the humans trying to survive the site yes
then they've been all the aliens look like
corn aliens like new metal took over the world
yeah
ready to set a ship of a background johnathan davis from corn
but yet
before you get all the way before we get
all use son of a bitch
that's great
look what he found so ladies and gentlemen if you are
uh... panipatia when you listen to couple of sorts go we talked about from
when we were kids
ice cream
which is to hand us out these little lemon packs
among other things like glass part bombs remember those are here
glass shit
the best ones were the ones that inflated
and it pops
my wrong oh yes yeah you
pop up like you saw it
it's all that
if that would feel like a
time release mission impossible style
situation
as a kid you're like and then you threw it
and as it's as it's going to start to
wait and then like you know they'll set formula eighty
i don't know if anyone remembers that one of the it was like a to and it had
this gel that was really sour
now i do not know what these are
like a class
i'd i'd i'd do it on the bus to and their girls started crying
we are we did that we threw marbles like cars out of the process
i think one of the worst
uh... we throw out
and eighty
into a
one of what was called up in california though
for the
sewage
sewage uh... those big
yet the oculus because big
submit
submit late
roll through california talk you know it's about right
they're huge right at the l at the l a river like a huge kind of version of it
all but like
where we were
yet the river i don't but that's what they call it but uh...
the uh...
this tastes like medicine i think you
brought drugs are you trying it
i don't think you're supposed to just eat it outright i think that's why i was
yesterday may give me but i was not a choice so you put in your hand
what that's that wasn't the ice cream and that was the ice cream
it all is these two boys from l a told me that the ice cream and give it to us
and i'd never heard of it
okay and then i'm walking through the mall in san diego
there's an outdoor ball
and i'm walking through the ball
and there's a cart
and they had like a giant display
so
all my god now it's more used for like beer
like you are not supposed to just like this but it's from a candy company
it's literally made by a case you saw all use it
assault
just post-pocket on its own
be more cultured andy or report on the like that another sucker no i could
yeah when you're a kid
totally see this in my michellotta
or your hand and just try it
so kinda like it's like though how they like the super sour candy and they like
looking at it
this is triggering something if you want to make five bucks line it up
snorted
you know what
not that let me do it
uh... i'd yet i i was gonna say
did you said that like we all did it
i would be like none of us did that i don't think it was stored i did sort of
pixie sticks
stick what i think they're i'd ever like to have lunch
ice ice book day uh...
i spoke to you
rolled up piece of uh...
computer paper what's being was a joint
and it was just
it's just a birth paper
birth of paper by a some
i watched a girl smoke and now and later rapper
nothing in it
rolled it up and spoke to the next black seat that's that's you
that's black see paper
that's gross paper
by wrong
that not like some of the worst paper you could burn and it's so small yet i
mean she's a still alive and she's married and has her own house house
and well jobs that's a great that good for her
it works so if you're out there kids listening
finally there's now now later
now or later
later you'll be successful it
it now the lady of the success of the
that was the joke i was searching for that you nailed
don't know anything different from the world
or other kids
it's okay
i
so that i think there's a difference between the middle of the world and we
didn't send it to the other
yet yet the yellow pack
that
it's a straight limit but that the people
this is hard to this would be really good like that the car there are
ex-con so here
i show you a lot of the world so much on my hand
there's like i can't finish this amount of salt right there's so much on here
and i don't know what to do with it about it
said i don't want to go over my shoulder
all god i hate it
it's reminding me of what
and not the all-con looking like a horse on a salt
that's what it is
i feel like a horse of the solid i'm so glad because i didn't believe you guys
that i didn't believe you guys when you told me that it gave you these packets
of stuff so i found a man this is the same name they said layman seven-day
because they thought it was home they thought it was seven up or something
i'm loving it right now it's pretty good
it's pleasant it wakes you up though
that's when i graduated from other stuff
god i can only imagine snorting this
i feel like i could clean dishes with this like they're really hard to scrub ones
why god
so it takes another day
all my god everybody he just went full-packed he's with full-packed he's
got a mouth open
he's got a mouthful of salt right now
he's a little bit yeah
see kids you don't have to
do drugs to be cool
you just gotta have the beer helps though
and
the beer
i can't now i look like a pussy
because i'm literally taking ginger little licks off the palm of my hand right now
and hey listen if you're a freak out there listening stop it
just stop it there's nothing weird about what i'm doing just ginger little licks
on the thumb my palm
just little tongue kisses on my palm
salty little tongue kiss you pervert stop thinking about it you freak
oh god
we're not following the mic rule uh...
uh... but
but he said how does it taste in your hand
he was adding to the uh...
whatever we were doing right now
this is reminding me of childhood in a weird way
i feel like if i
i feel if i go any further i'm gonna get trauma
and if i uh... if i go any further back i'm not gonna remember anything it's
that perfect little sweet spot
this is
fuck sake
this is awful
oh my god i should
this is killing me right now
this is fucking killing me i need to get this is awful one more just think about
clear mints cheese while you're eating it
no i'm talking
pretend you're in battlefield earth and you found some clear mints cheese in the in the wreckage
somewhere
and it's all disintegrated and that's what it that's that's all you got left
this is
hurting me
in like uh... like internally
this is my body's physically just being like what are you doing
what's happening you sicko why are you slicking salt
like my brain is telling me yes but my body
my body
is saying fuck you
i'm gonna talk oh my god
it's a good thing that wasn't a total trigger i could imagine just like you're
suffering physically eating it and then also reliving childhood trauma
your childhood nightmares
no i remember what the ice cream man did to me
stop it uncle ray ray
that's you guys are sick
i told you it stopped just shy of all that stuff so
the old lemon seven days are uh...
are i think a sweet point my child but i think that's when we get received art art
art dog rosie
she she was a puppy from a litter next door
which is a championship golden retrieving uh... retriever breeding
so they say
and they gave us a puppy
she was great
wonderful dog
shout out to her
everybody give it up for rosie
thank you
and then just i'm not gonna talk about rosie without bringing up dot
because dot of course
was my second but we do
alright uh...
the salt
fucked me up
you assaulted me right now
and i was lame and i know it
but the fuck you
i think you had a tangent without salt
i'm so sorry for wasting this
fifty-second
action
yeah i'd just tiny amount and it's like
now opera
you did a whole pack i can only imagine
uh... it says it's distributed by
or the address it's lapoma avenue in your belinda
let's go assault
on show it's made in mexico
there's a very heavy company
distribute by
uh...
and who walk
that's fancy
and what's up
same noise andy makes me eat it
that's great
that was a fun distraction
uh... we're smoking joey what are we smoking
uh... read it
okay i just said give me something with high
austin brought a joint
it's called
uh...
that is the name
was gonna smoke it though
it's free we'd so it's good
yeah always
thank you austin
alright guys
enough chitchat
we need to talk about
holy shit
a movie
i'm straight bangers every time i get it's a great book in the movie
a lot of people
chosen some
well let's say polarizing movies
for progress podcast to say that
i hate to mention it but dot dot dot
or if you don't stop dot dot dot you'll go blind which is
the worst movie of all time
that was bob's pick
we have sleepwalk kill
also bob's pick
we had that anime movie
world's here
there's been some polarizing movies but i think this movie is going to be the
most
divisive and polarizing
to rise
well movies battlefield earth the years two thousand or is it
star george revolta
forest wittaker
berry pepper and others
the german title is called
who date
uh...
it's a sign tallah g science fiction movie
starring
elron hubbard
where shelly crew
and uh... miss
gava who gives a shit
i don't know being super offensive fuck you sign tallah g
or do you want to see what your bullshit
as you know out there
science all these a bunch of kuku wackos that listen that
we're there than most
type of shit right they believe aliens came down from who gives a shit
and landed in a volcano
and then unfroze and then
flew into each other and you know and now that's that's we can you know
that's where we're at
a bunch of them got together to report to be one of three spain
dot on that car in greece
who write up in a crazy bill
believing in
but
let me talk
look who's talking
uh...
it's a this is a story
about
a uh...
one thousand years into its conquered
status
man is defaulted to man animals and they are being run by dominant force the
cyclos
uh... from planet cyclops
or cyclops
uh... beautiful purple
like super high
futuristic planet that they come from
they've conquered hundreds of thousands of planets
their soul
drive as a species
as a corporation that they call themselves
profits
precious metals
so is the main caveman guy is that jay from jane and silent bob because the
whole time i was thinking that that's very good descendant from from
one of the war movies is it saving private ryan yet it's it's very pepper
receiving private ryan also maybe the knock around guys
i didn't look at it
he's great
and then we've got
take from sons of anarchy
all yet course did you have to be a day yet that was great
of course force with a career who has force with a car i even as an alien
yet
i don't know
if the contacts in the makeup fixed it a little bit but i noticed this is
trippy i wasn't as noticeable maybe the the hair distracted from it
i think there's a lot going on with like that i just sort of like all right
whatever
i still like him in phone booth a lot better
the couple times i did all i did is it all one way
so
right at the time so did mine so right
right off the top
i have an issue with the opening text
so i so ok here we can hear it's a year three thousand
once mankind's home
it's been ruled for the past one thousand years by a cruel alien race
from the planet
as they've done on countless other planets across the galaxy
the cyclops
mine earth's metals and teleported back
gold
is the most
that valuable
is not
rodeo
is the most valuable metal on earth
you can maybe say palladium
if you're trying to get
uh... a little bit into the rarity of it all
so no gold is probably third or fourth down the break of precious metals that
they should be mining now
the time frames also
two thousand it's the movies made in the year two thousand it's the year three
thousand that's just our has been ruled for the past one thousand
which would be two thousand
here the movie was made is the year they came of course that's how
a lot of
movies that take place
have you ever noticed like
here's a movie that takes place a hundred years from nineteen from nineteen
eighty seven
and it's a movie made in nineteen eighty seven
and it's just
hundred years from now eighties
you know like like a really
they do this all the time
like all the time that's it that's a trope
so yeah i'm sorry that it's they should have been yet no actually mike
i'm so sorry i'm not discredit
that's a great critique
you don't have to hold the mike torsos coffee you can hold it towards you uh...
it talk into it if you want
but you're right it should be the years three thousand fifteen
uh... it's been one thousand three hundred and twelve years since the uh...
cyclops have taken over right it really should be some random numbers this is a
little clean
unless
i mean no
no you're absolutely right
that's lazy
that's lazy story
that's lazy
i'm not gonna forgive that
you're absolutely right
what a debacle
so okay
we have
uh...
i've wrote
that the green font
was unawful choice
just right off the bat i did not like that green font it was too bright
it just
was ugly
it looked cheap
first rule of fucking podcast fight club
is you turn your phone off bro
or at least put it on the easy option of vibrate which everybody has on the phone
you click a few volume down buddy
but the list by the breaks once you said
i won't even say who did that cycle
also with that
that green text explaining everything then you go into the cave with the
caveman and then you just get all the exposition again
well of course
they are he tells the whole story that's like yeah we've been living this for a
thousand years we know we know the story dot the policy get
why are they in animals
i was there man animals
even if a thousand years have passed
why would we forget the basic understandings of how to but they were
wild made animals
so like the
were smart enough to make clothing they were smart enough to make clothing
why is it always
strips of animal flesh
why wasn't there a loom
and maybe yes why would it be a loop
we okay fine maybe they've kind of default a little bit but
even if there isn't a loom
they would
still why do why
strips of animal
flesh around why not make it look is there no fashion sense as humans we lost
the the the
the desire ability to look good for our partners as the mating ritual died off
in this areas about just political
and you guys but no i think
you want to look pretty and so i don't think that just right over height to do
the trick
well how many women did you see
there was a black chick and i did put had this small group of people get so
racially diverse
one thousand years in the future
what happened there
i'm just saying it's like it would make sense i don't care if they're all white
they're all black if they're all just one color but they need to all be pretty
consistent like why did homeboy have a british accent
where the fuck did that come from
it's not like they took him from britain and dropped him down
no he grew up his whole life in that little fucking
uh... that little age of empires to
uh... split the wall village that they constructed in the mountains the same
reason that john travolta read all his lines like he was doing shakespeare
and no i'm quieting myself to restrain years to smack you for talking shit
about jt's performance but we'll get into this at just a moment
uh...
i put each the greens the green screen mountain scene just a huge
nothing you know we all know it's fucking bad
graphics are bad we can forgive it
right it's just limited budget maybe
i've looked it up
it's signed all the money we talked about strew but they had nineteen
it early two thousand side talk
post tom cruise jumping on a couch cytology money which is different kind
of money
it looked like a episode of power
i think they used the guy for power they had tax exempt money
they had they had seventy three million
two thousand dollars
it'll be i thought this was at least a hundred
you know what don't they stretch that seventy three
the two thousand
seventy three million today's like two fifty
you know what this is a total fifty million dollar missy
most of the money went to the actors
our cytology
that's right you know what most of the money went into the went into the
celebrities
they all the money went to the actors and the cg i and then they had us right
it
the cg i
well okay yes so it's it's it's a little rough but i can forgive it very pepper
uh... i got excited when i saw him and then i was like
pictures to slow motion when he cried
after finding out that his dad
so his dad guys
and then he does the worst reaction to it like that
just slow motion slow motion transit they extended artificially
just a second or two
and then transition out
probably with one of the many many many
start in the middle
pan outward transitions that they do
i put all i put these transitions and a dot dot dot uh... was my next note
uh...
how does such a small group of people such a diverse racial makeup uh...
i need to smoke some wheat so at this point
i'd realized that shit that bullshit
and i didn't smoke any weed and i realize i need to smoke some wheat
and i think exactly
and i thought
i think from this moment on though because my next my next notice
and i love this music
i start to i start to have a different vibe about this whole
experience so buckle up
that was a little negative to start with that i'm so
sorry
to even put a little bit of mustard on this otherwise
fucking brilliant asked me
need to smoke in order to enjoy it
some nice earthy
some would say battlefield earthy all
i figure you have weed math coke i don't know what all you did enjoy this movie
or sleep
okay
so they
very pepper runs away from his little village whatever uh...
that he's a greener he likes things that are green on the other side right what a great line
what great little thing
also in like sort of a post-apocalyptic
am i wrong
is that not like something that the title that somebody would get
right like all he's just a he doesn't want to stick around just a greener man
but he just likes things green on the other side bro
that's but that's a reference to the grass is always greener though
that's what
i know
did you guys think i didn't understand the reference of
he likes
uh... we were clarifying for the audience other people here
i don't think that i have more respect for my audience that everyone is for
expression grass yeah just turn on the that's okay
for on this thing would
and so with the most respect
old that ever ever ever let me get
so they get
so
but your vital to the to the thing
i don't put down the mic
i need you to talk otherwise this is sounds like silent abuse pick up the
bike mother fucker
people here creek you did that wrong
face-up one of my early notes you
one of my early notes was uh... why why is the camera always angle
like why why is it always an angle at a tilt
like i don't understand dutch
i think that will touch it dot that's a great every single every shot you know
what though that's like
that's you know what that would be like using any other movie of
is like that
there's no pocket away
there's no pop
that you can turn that shit on by break after after after what we've been
thrilled
are you playing a game is it on like just get open up a little box
uh...
cherry-blossom
tripping uh...
cycle like
turned off just three not to get out of the volume but you said it would be
listen with the most of the broke up most respect the love i didn't have
someone to turn on my
but it feels like deja vu is the matrix broken
just abusing my so that you're a perfect
i got my ex-lover left to be
jokers on the right
larry shirter old man earlier you were saying you did want to be in the matrix
so they're just
there's give me a taste of it
yeah which we recorded that but it was a really good
tell everybody
dot i
this whole
talking i hope this worked out of so sorry this is an unusual so that i
hate my favorite part of this movie
is when he shoots the cow
it's a couple of
all yet we're not even there
uh...
so i think he has twenty pages
yeah i'll go i'm trying to go quick i'm trying to go quick i had to get that in
there that i don't know where get there will get there so very pepper goes to a
mini golf park
k so very peppers and me all part
now my issue with the mini golf park
is that there's no way
that you could actually build holes around how close that those exhibits
were to each other
i know that they were trying to cram in as many
fun shit into that one shot
the tiki head was too close to the parking uh... night or whatever like the
bridges to close to the other thing
like where are the holes but unless the holes are literally three people's
and then where's the challenge
this is stupid many part uh... unless
now let's say okay
i'm i'm willing to compromise and say that right before the aliens attack
that mini golf owner
decided to move
the more expensive exhibits
into one central location
so that
expect them better
so
i don't know what more credit that it deserves i don't know how i feel
necessarily about the mini park but other than that i really
when he shows up and he gets scared by the big dragon
he's like those you're the one it's like this entire group of people just scared
by this
golf course get statue i do like that
i do like that
i thought that was funny
first i think real genuine haha of this otherwise classic workplace comedy
uh...
so
so i really like that date the way that they've default i like that they are
scared of everything but that dot like i feel like
he's very
is a little bit too afraid of things later on which but i'll get to put on
uh...
some of the cinematography
in this uh... in this
actually pretty good
was it the greater the brown you like better it now i didn't say the color
palette
i said the cinematography
which may be is the same thing
as far as the shots were shot
now i know you said there's a lot of dot jingles okay
a couple of them what
these the established and shot of the dystopian mall
when he's discovering class for the first time he falls to like twelve of them
it has been saying slow motion
yeah after being shot
later on started stand out
uh... that i will say this
the relationship that this movie has to class
that i'm gonna tell way deeper into later but i just that's a little like it
was spent on
this is a little kids of this a little all seventy three million dollars i was
page dedicated to the class mechanics of this movie but right
when he discovers glass for the first time
unlike
that's a weird way for someone to interact with glass for the first time even if they
do it even if it is class for the first time
you could see that so like a
is there is that there was
grimy glass right it was see-through whatever but um...
so i'd be like that
i'd be like that
the aliens
better have a more effective weapon that a laser handgun beam
or laser beam handgun because this mother fuckers having a hard time
hitting the fat dude
like they were like
out so it's like one versus three is difficult
so i guess when the cyclos came down they must have came down
overwhelming numbers and as we do see later they do have
transportation technology
so like i do believe they
popped in a bunch of space ships and we don't have space ships so like
we're fucked right
they said it took nine minutes to take out
they said it took us nine minutes
and yet later on we get a bunch of fucking primitive people that
somehow
item off
there's one issue maybe with the movie but i'm not gonna talk shit i like this
movie uh...
uh... all
i personally
i personally eight-seem-broke
uh...
i shattered my stuff like broke my shin bone when i was like eleven years old
and that was the most painful moment of my life
it happened at lunchtime
uh... at school
playing that one game with an
with an offensive name where you uh... throw the ball in the air and you catch
it and someone just tackles you for no reason
they uh...
well anyway my foot was in a hole
i fell one way foot stayed one way it just snapped in half
it was awful
and so anytime i see
especially
a fat dude with a beard
jumping off a high distance and then shattering his leg
terrified
that just
shook me to the core so director
good job
putting a little bit of fear into otherwise at the light for
workplace
uh...
a little bit editing
the word in their picky but uh...
it's otherwise strong movie but i don't want to be a picky
the horse does rear up
for the laser beam hits it
so otherwise i mean i could
theoretically by that the horse was scared for another reason and then
reared up and that's what he took a shot
but i think otherwise he would have missed the force didn't rear up so i do
think he's either
a bad shot and got lucky
or bad
any thoughts on the any thoughts so far
we're just amazed by your uh...
i wish i had here
rose glass that you watched this movie
i'd i'd just had point glasses harkin's just watch it
as soon as i see the cyclos show up for the person like
feeling like a freak on a leash
he does look a lot like jonathan davis
they all they all do you even though women even force with your people
women
so what are the rules of this uh... the stupid guns that
fire upside down
apparently is their only weapon to yet it pushes park bench uh... obliterates
street sign
stuns man
kills man
blows up through bricks later we see like these things are capable so i i'm
thinking
phasers phasers but with with
with with the with the do you see the dial but it only look like that two
options
and unless stun
and obliterate street sign or the same fucking option
but that is switching is dial-out mid fight i don't think that's that piccolo
being that he does she's been a little bit of a candidate
special becannons
so i had i had a little bit issues with the physics of the gun uh...
uh... for it
it's also sorry buddy
uh... terrible graphics terrible graphics again
uh... this whole transport scene terrible graphics
uh... okay
controversial thought
if the cyclos dominator
you
and humans are banned
like like humans are second-classes their main animals
cycles of
cat animals animals manuals manuals their manuals are getting my head
if the cycles of taking over not only hurt
countless other planets
they win
they are the dominant life form
what are we doing as animals trying to
buck up
order of things
like that would be like right now
if kangaroos started picking up
bucking machine guns and started killing australians that we'd be like wait a
minute
this isn't right we'd have to put an end to it
from this from that perspective which is what i took for this whole parking movie
is i am not rooting for very it at his buddies in one
at all what i will tell you are rooting for is that the white
can i think it's steaming
over the top john travolta comedy
battlefield or were him and his bumbling hogan's hero body force
wittaker
go on a little really fun adventure windows pesky animals
bucket club up
that try to stop up
will he succeed
who knows it's one arm blowing off of a good top of the movie
it's battlefield or
so so
but on a serious note i would say
if a really did come down and they said hey we pretty much offered everything
were taking you guys over
you're gonna basically have to do it i what we say
i'm not gonna go die in some for fucking with it took nine minutes
to take out humanity
and now you're just figuring this all out
by the way first book he picks up declaration of independence
he should have picked up a harry potter
that would have been more realistic
i'm just saying
you would have gotten the same ideals but he would have dealt with i think uh...
john travolta in a more bold a more
the area
that could have been more fun but continue
what we can say might take nine minutes to conquer
i'm gonna be like
payment
i feel like the cyclos take the same amount of car conquer planet as it does
for me to political conquer sexual exploit
just nine minutes and uh...
network
why would they want you to see that she's tongue
uh...
i can get over the forehead
i said the denver
damage also denver
which is where they were the whole time
looked
the graphics with the show denver destroyed ever
were worse than the fucking original croat
remember when you see that that the opening of the quote careful they're
talking about the croatian opening to the croat
the one where it's it's
the city
rate of fire
looks bad
uh... i'd like i'm all all day long with the croat watch that guy just keep
heroin cocaine in space
mountain of drugs
loved it
love the croat
can't wait for the the reading
so many
kitchen they're just there they're tearing apart the or it like it's it's
supposed to be are like okays
is it not eric dravens and it is like it is eric draven that i was like all it
is eric draven it should have been a different croat if you talk about that
the other ones they they was different guys it was different guys in the other
one here they're okay they were great movies but it's not
they should have absolutely got a different croat hundred percent agree
with you should have been like
here's andy writes the croat
you're trying to connect to like a younger audience
okay well maybe i'm not excited
uh...
let's see jesus these fucking
creatures
walking around
on those boots stills that they had
yeah most obvious
bad call that any movies ever made when it comes to like costume design like i'm
a part but
that's what that's
delightful workplace comedy
uh... because of course think about what cogan's heroes
uh... which i've never really actually seen but i know that might be an upset
this one if you watch that right
you can hold the bike
have seen hoagie
you see no good here
and it was a bunch of public not seats
right and like what was like a fat dot c who's like
you know whatever right
kind of the same things like we're supposed to like you
do you ever feel bad for the dot he's been moved in that show
honestly now
no they never picked up a light works it's like
their their shenanigans get them like in trouble with the boss and
you kind of feel bad for them
i've never seen it
who's the heroes
hoagie it's in the title
hogan's not a cannot see
hogan's heroes are at a different i was wondering why people watched
watching a show
about a bunch of not he's doing stuff like
it's not about the nazis it's about the
for
all-time
all good is their leader that change your whole idea of your daily of what
hogan's heroes was that
i thought
that someone made a spoof the
not see workplace comedy
and called it all good
and for some reason
and listen you think what you think all that's that's unrealistic
you think that's all the same time all of the family and the guys back in his
life and they cut over to do to have to think that the fucking
generally with the confederate flag on it
you know what i'm talking about there's some of that shit
is all of us
anyway thanks for teaching me that's been a
you don't want
the dot all special to do with it
dot
all i was saying
back that
yes even back then they did not look at things from the nazis point of view
there enough uh... but but but that way but now back to the group
it look like a kind of wet
video like
i don't know if that's what you got the idea from with the movie or what but
but i think that big-ass
i was thinking more like early two thousand like goth
pdm
i was thinking the same thing too
i was thinking about one video of those kids that in that little uh...
underneath the bridge or whatever the just did to get the back
yet the whole time with the reds and but have you seen those
you know change your mind
i believe they were made for walking i'll look at that
you guys are talking about the park in my
please for the love of god we got a little bit of this
i got back to get that she would have it
okay in kardashian where we don't wait you to leave the family
now he's your today
did you really first time did not like it
they hate
get that one of team or two
uh...
that's pretty funny okay i'm seeing the connection now okay yet that's that's
pretty good the con everybody just google kanya big boots and you'll be happy
uh... he looks
but it looks like a child
he doesn't like a little kid where he's wearing his dad's
it's close for the first time
it for you little funny way dot but you can't get like pro hitler uh...
well that's what you know how good to hear of this guy
this bucket kanya
uh...
well shit out to address your concern no i it's not from team it's actually quite
a nice but they at the at the year that i bought it and it was fine
did you use it
where do you have a hope so that's all
weights it looks like it's just gonna spray everywhere the weights like so
that's not the u s talk to your asshole i was
i said wait to
my hopes up as well as looking at your part
well listen i know it's threatening
it it's a little holes that shooting upwards but
sitting on it
it just let it rip
i promise you
after
the discomfort of maybe the first time
someone please cut this out
i'm not gonna you know what i i spent so much time on my soapbox arguing
the days
for people to have them in their homes
maybe i just want to live in a world where
i want to live in a world where people have
cleaner assholes
and i know it
like i i can look you in the eyes and know your fresh my boy
you know i
i'm looking at you austin a year stronger man for using a bidet
i'm stronger
amazing
back i'm gonna close
on you with the
so distracting
uh... okay
that we get into it uh... jonathan triple test character who i i don't even
died in right is named out it didn't matter to people to take the whole time
which
that's just what i'm gonna call the whole time
so
okay
so captures the mammals i've no problem with that part of his job he's head of
security it's how it's like the it's like the opening to any good
workplace comedy structure of how the work
roles you know what you mean is probably co-workers
uh... there's that i mean
if you don't think this is a comedy
just wait till we get to the part where that the minimal picks up a gun and
shoots somebody
and he any terms of the selectors the fucking way that happened and it happens
again
pocket hilarious
or the rat
what he's like
what he's like let's see what their favorite food is
and that they eat the rat
this is one of the funniest fucking movies i've ever seen not for being bad
for legitimately being a comedy and being good
uh...
so
so that's like i get it
the mankia
the animals
so
exactly
science all of you might have some points
so the animals i get it they've been there they got captured their unfamiliar
with uh...
unfamiliar with
what spaceships are stuff they're obviously freaking out i understand that
they were getting sprayed with like a hose that didn't seem that powerful
and they were still acting like they were
in a spaceship for the first time
they're not familiar with what water is and the concept of clean
i don't buy that for one second
and so
i had an issue with the shower in part where they're spraying down the post
appointed that
like i said mike i know buckling
it's twenty pages in the first six through or get through this
uh...
does it look like they really needed to shower
and so from a
cycle point of view
i'm like
shower those fucking things they're gross
like you just got there from out in the wild haven't showered they have no
concept of anything
beat them bush
that bush
book nutrient rich that matrix group the matrix group looked hella nutrient rich
it was like or
and other like oatmeal and shit that's all you need
it looks like some yellow
but movie uh...
biggest occasion
what about it that he
well
all of it
all year
except yellow
at least is chicken you know you know you know you know
i have actually thought for a long time
you know what the perfect diet for me would be
uh... to lose weight
is if somebody came out with white
like one of those futuristic kind of slurms like it just a go-gurt
too
that you eat three times a day
everything you need you don't need to do anything else food was at all ever
it's called so you can buy
no because so it is made out of people called here we've seen the movie
it right
there's an actual product called
what's probably expensive
some people about here when i worked at
that restaurant have a sue
uh... as the headman can i get you anything
like i'm at food is like
you have a of course like
i was like i met food is like that is my food
that's a good life i don't think you really survived off of your office
all of us use our dog
in real life that guys
dead in a week to survive here alone
or irish
don't bring don't bring that fantastic old bullshit into an otherwise
serious discussion about
so uh...
there's an editing choice i'd like to put out another was great movie uh...
very
at that when he gets his necklace ripped off
by one of uh... jt's group of co-workers
and thrown into that fire pit
and was thrown down his head was down
when the necklace went into the fire pit
but that would be looks up
immediately focuses at least if you can believe what the cameras in on
on the necklace in the fire pit
first look should have been the guy
wears the necklace
then maybe focus on the other on the thing
if the or shoot from a different shot
and maybe he's he's because he's a stupid minimal
he doesn't know any better he doesn't aware where
do a magic trick on your dog or whatever right like
all behind the plate is a no
but where the necklace go
you stupid
like they're like stupid
monkey language that they had
dot they were so annoying
the man
planet
this podcast more than any we've done
her needs reaction shots because all i'm doing is watching him and me
when you discuss this movie
roller on
for it back like what in the
but did this guy what
uh...
the funniest part of this entire episode is watching them react to you
loving this movie
this andy smoking that cyclocush cycle
dot you that they came that here
he is going full sign tallied here
a high-fives
a a a if you compare science and a i sound like they go together
it yet they they they have a section for you at all and all the people at
what what brought you to our lives and i watch battlefield or all right through
this door actually
let me do i have a podcast can we just turn it back and i can recruit
now they get you in the door than they listen to the podcast
he's calling it a comedy
but in the whole
no no no i'll tell you what
when they find out that i knew it was a comedy i'd get level-a instantly
did like your application you don't even have to take the you don't have to take
the personality test
actually when i was a swan i was a teenager sixteen
uh... my dad took my
a couple buddies and and me
paintballing
and it was a little bit past l a
and when we were on our way back
it was early enough
that we stopped in l a for food
it to go to the wax museum
it or i think that the blacksmithing with the ripples believe it or not which
is next the wax
boat anyway
when we were done
we were walking back to our car we got stopped
a group of people and they asked do you want a free personality test
and this was
way before
anyone was talking about site all to get a big way online
south park and covered
so i don't know so we were like you know let's do it so we all went in we were
there for like
an hour and a half
and my dad was pocket
pissed and miserable because he's sitting in a little jerry what take a
stupid personality test
but we're taking the test and at one point there's a question and i could
tell that my buddies were answering everything deliberately wrong i first
was taken it legit
they collect all of you
and i look over to see my buddies like
have you ever committed a violent crime yes
what was it like to kill dogs in my spare time
uh... second alright uh...
and uh...
and then like one of the questions was like uh... have you ever been abused
and adult
and like uh... i think michael my buddy turned to my dad and just like hey
mister rice i can't remember did you
sexually molested all today or anything
and i just got a check with the thing and like that
i think that they kicked us out at that point
i didn't ever got to find out if i what my personality was but i'll tell you
man
if michael had asked that question actually people both sides all just
well especially if they show me battlefield earth immediately after
the best workplace comedy of all time
the andy's andy's the level is over nine thousand for fucking sure dude
it
i feel so acts i feel so sad for john t
he works so hard for this promotion
if he had even in inkling
that that was the senator's daughter you know he would not have hooked up with
her
but because of that one mistake
he's gonna be stopped on a miserable scummy planet like earth
for the rest of his fucking fifty cycles are you kidding me
with a contract for unlimited options
what i think theoretically be at birth
for the rest of his career in the corporation
the corporation kind of sounds like what they call their alien species and i feel
like when you get fired or retired that's pretty much death
in their corporation in their system
he's gonna be a per
thus gummiest of all planets
for what the rest of his life all because he
presumably fuck the senator's daughter
or had her lick his dick with her huge tongue
and
but whatever it is
like it's like what it would be and here's here's a note i have a note about that
in movies
how are all these fathers finding out about their daughters in discretion
how did the senators
find out
that j t dot is
does ball sack licked by a nine inch tongue
all their are
thank you brenda that was actually sitting on my pocket
i don't wait
their entire planet is like uh...
what's that guy geiger the artist that makes all the
machinery are their whole planet is just that so yeah cameras everywhere
if they so i would imagine that they'd like the poor to a certain extent
from star trek
when they uh... takeover planet they sort of adopts some of those uh...
like technology whatever if
if it's not so pretty fucking animals like us and they don't need our shit
or
but what or or or or
okay uh... all and then this is what i wrote down
page seven a reading project for john t
this is a workplace i really felt that this moment
uh...
the food handoff
the bushy you like we all eat together fine i get it he beat up the bully from
three o'clock high
any gets the coup
subject walking by just getting a coup he had
gross
just parking gross she should have walked by got her own coup
but taking it
from his hand was the next level
of just made me honestly think of animals at the sick disgusting parking
creatures that don't
was seen
this movie really really makes you feel from the cycles perspective
about wrong
one hundred percent no i don't even hear that right now
i will say that i didn't write this down
i did write out about the language pot which will get the language alien pot
which i love of cycloheavonix machine yeah yeah which is
so fucking cool
but um...
what it didn't cover was uh... what i what i did write down was
not since antonio bandera says
thirteen
have i seen
not understanding
language to understanding the language better than in this movie
that was so well done
when j t picks up barry
it is a or i understand
but what does that mean or i don't feel like that whatever so good i can't even
do it i'm trying to replicate it
he did a way better job
is like the jake good
and so
but then i also like the cunningness of barry
by tricking him by not saying yes at that moment and then getting unlimited
time in the learning machine
that was a blunder
to feel j t
workplace whoops accidentally left the animal in the fucking machine
and i was learning all of our side
how fucking wacky
so at this point i i
i'm on your
at this point in the movie or this point the movie i was like this is terrible
but at this point i don't know about the same
i don't know if i was just too high at this point or what but i was like okay
there's kind of a plot
but it's all there's absolutely a plot it's getting there
so j t wants off the planet
the only way he's gonna do it is by finding that uh... rich vein of gold
right uh...
which
how brilliant was that for knock stop
with barry
uh... we're not even there
we're getting out of here
brilliant idea for john t
to use manamals to mine that's immediately what i thought when i
started seeing that that group of like they need to slay these fuckers and use
them for
fucking manual labor
that's one thing
that one big building that's all they have to mind the entire planet over
and they chose their just they're just gonna mind denver and leave right
so
book okay at the end i did have issues with like when they blew up and somehow
systematically killed all of the
cyclos
and not
the humans that last little like blowing up
that don't think
that's like what i would imagine one mining facility one like city
that that's like most of the people's you know it's like the mining
there's probably more but at the same time
would you need more than one mining camp
it had all the storage
needs necessary and you teleport shit at will
so you gotta think
you could teleport for one look so maybe there are other more like smaller
mining
facilities around town around the world
alike if you get the gold you can immediately teleported to planet cyclops
cyclops you'd like you know they're teleporting the gold so it does work so
teleportation you but
but that
thing is if you were an alien species
figure the signs and all the stuff out
denver makes the most sense of for all the gold mines work
but they were introduced that were introduced to the bill of the movie
uh... which is quadruple chip
and uh... with two split
with two sold patches yet
so quadruple
quadruple chin comes in and the reason he's the bad guy
is because he actually goes directly against the culture of cyclops
cyclo is a corporation
alien based directly on three
and the assumption uh... and likely the consumption of gold right like the
requirement of it right
what he wants to do
is he wants to uh... like when he's brought up with the idea to like let's
use animals
to mine
and they even say to force what occur stand up this is according to our bylaws
mother fucker
profit
outweighs
the otherwise law of letting per se say uh...
lowly animal use our machines
we can make profit off that we should do that
that sounds like a
element of their society
so in quadruple jins
knocks down the idea he's forcing j t to go behind his back
that's not on him
that's really not a great idea
but if you're going to work place comedy
you're going to need some foibles
so of course
that's what j t's got a get creative so he's got a little camera system which
is cute
he presses the little but many guys do be stupid force with a good side
if the cyclops had
whole but handful planets
and then by sheer force and numbers they deserve to be the alphys i wrote that
that much
pro-cyclops
propaganda
in my book uh...
and then i made so so i i'm like all
it did some transition i was like all it's look at my first i phone movie
transition
uh... which is what i thought that they
so one of those stupid wipes
so then they
there was a bad at it and i don't know
no no there was a there was a moment where there was a chimney snap stack
that gets hit
tickets clipped bias ship or whatever
and then falls so slowly takes two cuts back to the same falling shot
and that was pretty much the opposite of heart pounding
i put that was
heart-napping action
i put up
i was on the complete inside of my seat
the bad graphics by that point
like at that point the movie i realize like it's been a few talking seems to
get to see both sides
there's so much here in this movie
so much so much like
that's where some of the budget went to hair extensions
sit what two million dollars was wakes
i'm having fun watching my career
i put pesky
minimal
man-animal running away
just sit in a cage
uh... like if you lose a hamster just annoying it just adds to the
but it did it did it did it do kind of aspect of the movie
uh...
so these graphics these fire graphics
my first ms paint movie
as well
uh... j t smart spot
great job making uh... lisa left i love has been the patty
commit force with a crack remembers name
so
my bad
so that
that's the that's where he like catches them
like i did i did it all one person
but yeah comes around is like
or friendly bartender that was so far as hanging out in that office you didn't
see a fucking head in the box what's in the box
you know that the whole lot of why would it be at the bar be like where's
cyclotron is one job is to be the bartender here where you go
you know what's out of the bar earlier they wish that it was a close to sign
it said
brb can't find the bartender
nobody's but every he's guilty
so he's like barely
he's three steps behind
j t
at every at every instance but
he's kind of hearing the right force with occurs character
uh... we even he's becomes a
if you're rooting for the humans he becomes a good guy at the end but i mean
uh...
but if you
whatever following the workplace copy plot
that he really becomes uh... the plot twist it goes from public assistance
it's easier about force with occur
because force with occur whatever someone's mean before switaker you know
about more
just like in phone booth
he's like ask him if you wax off now that his wife is gone he says that the
force with occur it's like that
force workers a good guy
he's the cop trying to negotiate
and then they've got the guy with the sniper telling colin feral to ask if you
wax off out of life
it yet so and you're like all four four with her saving a bit of single tear
comes out of his stupid eye
uh...
so i put why you screaming bro uh... stupid very alike as he runs to some
cages in your life
uh...
against the cages i was like stupid
bucking
uh...
the rat scene
is the
i'm not kidding
funniest
john travolta
and force with occur
in that computer room
be like
they have a need three days they're waiting till they get something good
they're looking at it
they're just like this is great and i think that rat
and they're eating it you can't help by the actors dot single word
just how bad they're just like but i'm so hungry yes i'll eat a frozen rat
which no one even in post post post apocalyptic times is going to work you
cold rat
but that
but
but there was pretty much the sheep if he's holding right are you hungry
are you talking died i had to pause it and i'm just like but how
the fuck it don't work
i was so fucking happy with it
if they prefer rats that that's what will pop up for
and i don't know
whether deciding that this rat scene is so fucking funny if they prefer rats
that that's what will offer
i'm actually excited to see how they hope in heroes themselves out of this
one
with the rat
that's what i came up with it
and he says so
move your fat ass and let's go to forest with a girl one point
it immediately hit his head on the park ceiling public
it's not
consider
off-key comedy
how is this not
how is this side by action
this is so party
party
kitchen
that's up a little
that that's the fact that all
what we're talking to take a care of it
i just don't want to have you with
i love it
so um...
only wait mike so
it's basically
yes
the
uh... because it's not
basically slapstick
all
it's the most slapstick i'd love this book
there's an interesting side that said welcome to a stop i don't know if that
meant anything if that's something that exists
that's it a stop
uh... shit
it's actually in denver
i thought maybe there was a
kind of illusion a soft spade walls that maybe it's a little more
maybe i should have done all that extra research under the stuff tables
i was like wow the correlations really are there
so this book
so i wrote i wrote
i wrote to you
a like language alien
that's so
fucking cool
conquer that daily is like on so sorry
please i'm a language guy
i will tell you what you need i will teach you language right is like very
in peace like if you're listening to me
chances are i are societies been destroyed but i've been preserved in
holographic technology to do my spot purpose throughout the time right
whole
bucking shit that's cool
if they
are able to take over a society and then
preserve their consciousness allah maybe some movies will talk about uh...
inside inside like a holographic technology to keep that alive for
ever
very cool sign me up
the what a cool
alyssa take a soul right like will these people's earth forever they're gonna
have some record of us will last longer than our own stupid
decided
for fuck's sake
just every little things care this man
the chair
auto turned around at one point he freaks out at that point i'd literally
wanted him to die
at some point this movie
i wanted him to be
by one of these fucking creatures
i was like
the main character
yet very
who's very very sitting at the very sitting in a chair talking to the
language alien
and that it wrote a group of me and the characters or
uh... that
right it's so stupid because there's no
what's that biggie but there's not
they haven't been exposed to take out
it till now
but at this point
he just saw a language alien pop up in a hologram
uh... chair turning would not that like if i was that you go like a pencil
lot shit
this is a lot going on at that the chair starts moving of like
what's next what's happened
like god let me cut my hair
uh...
that i put uh...
broke you hungry little fellow
get them
offering the rap
that's right that's what he said
you're going to be the political that's okay i like that little language alien
who's
the
rinsed
and the only one that we are destroyed
but i will teach you their language and culture
i love it it's so interesting isn't it
they can be a whole movie about the cyclops taking over that
fucking
like species
you know what uh...
well i don't know
okay
so i put jt is patient
which i love i love that
use patient up to let them go out and find out their favorite food was
uh... patient enough to
to like let them
because he leaves up for two weeks
unattended
which is i think
management
skills
right is like animals are good pocket
they just need a mind
various part
i'm supposed to feel sympathetic
towards him
he's only spark as he's j t allowed it
uh... yeah that's what i thought
still be a dumb animal
j t didn't give them that be so really that's artificial intelligence put it
is that which i'm not a bit of so really
again
what a blunder from her comedic hero
shot
triple talk
of course he gets one of his minimal experiments too much too much smartness
now we got a peak yet a pretty ready for a call over the place
what is jt
if i could do about it uh...
so cool
so that put it
and thirty four seconds i laughed at this dude walking up the stairs
here it is for you guys so sorry podcast
just watch this do walk stairs
uh...
it's so bad
it's so bad uh... they could have a better choice this
it looks like he's
kids
uh... yes we pick up the declaration of independence really
they are set up
like he goes into the congress
but that it's really good
uh...
every go like okay we're we're
so like this
be like it
i think that's like you know they play like a little bit of the yeah it would
just be so good up this right here oh yeah
it's this
this part of it
it
right here
here's all the easter eggs you could say you might have missed
the greatest comedy ever
bucket
i'm getting it now my feet and they're going all bad so so very funny i think
that's an intentional
i think that's just slapstick uh...
jt
that
there
well-aided on a boots
no way to help that's that's that's j t from uh... from the distant shot like that
they got a professional
uh... so i put ha ha ha shooting the fucking cows legs off your right
that was fun
he's like like all
you need incentive he's like what it is she took a look at how to wake up
clean
no blood
they really wanted that pg thirteen
uh...
i had to do that
all my god might be like like people like father but they had a lot of
interesting properties of those bullets of
okay there is a moment
where uh... jt
it's not down by all those filthy animals
but the one led by three o'clock i
you know to talk about the the savage ones
they uh...
whether
attacking
and they get on the ground
berries got dot besides not kill
the way they shoot it is jonathan taylor dot
dot the trouble to is uh... people j t it's stuck in my head but anyway uh...
jt is
is laying down but only because it's absolutely no
bucking away
that he'd be able to either a sit up
or
bucket stand up
so if you watch that cna which i fucking wrote the wrote the thing down but it
works seat just
him laying down
any and he starts to sort of like
up top his head lunch
and that literally the next cut simple the standing
but the real it happened in real time
yet watches the little bit of it is like all my boots my only week this year
uh...
but i said how they cut it standing up i was what it was good uh...
how did the how the fuck it
okay
how the fuck did king of scotland find uh... i still don't know his name for
split across the spot but how did king of scotland
fine
homeboys girlfriend
out of all the
she's really good at drawing no
but she's not
that was a toddlers drawing of what a human might look like that there's no
way that fucking
force would occur
with that with uh...
with that i'd just a bit
it's what i
without visual impairment it's gonna be a little bit of a little filthy
mandible out that
out the fucking wild
anyway
point one
fair enough yet
go for what not the blackwood
uh...
why not
he turns to take
why the fuck
hoagans he rose with that's not what i'm looking for
uh...
you become a very is actually very heard
the real name
i've been going like that the leader of the the wild
caveman guys that like show up there in the scene i called him uh...
and the book of actual rose
uh... and then
the very i call him in the book of j
okay what would you take
well i'd like baryon in three o'clock i
then i think it helps me
no who the actors for her helps me
uh...
on the sniper
they all are there we go
uh... so
so
very feels dejected because
off-screen dot his head blown up at the demonstration which
if they played the right music
pretty funny uh...
and uh...
so very good
there gets back to the field rejected
somehow
these state like the animals like get the message out to all the other animals
that's like
this guy's gonna save us
and then they all start climbing their cages so stupid and annoying
he cut his hair
all he did that's right
fucking god about this stupid ritual
stupid animal ritual that's when the movie went from
newt new metal to industrial like the talent in their
okay i didn't know where the bar was the bar was
i'd i'd you know if they were accused transporting back to cyclos not but it
makes sense for was down there because at some point
he says like
uh... put on my tab you don't have a tab
he looks at dirties like i do now
and i was like
he's never been here does he not drink
if he doesn't drink
if you select pretty much like it
if you ask me
it sounds like
jonathan travolta's character
has put in
very good work
on the shithole of a planet
he's done some great mining
done some really great head of security work right
he's kept everything in line he's had innovative ideas about animals working
for money it sounds like he's it like for the cause he's like for the
corporation i want
like he wants
the success of his brothers as much as he does for himself
there's a lot of things getting his way
asking animals you got quadruple chip and then you also have for split it for
trying to steal a job that's just cute on the side
it's just funny
i
widened the bar
guy like
no like okay so that the only thing that i would imagine is that he didn't
know
that the uh...
at the bar was
he didn't drink before that
is what had to be the case he's actually
back to the song drink get really drunk which makes sense to the drinker
anyway
uh... for time
i just put a few exclamation points
uh... oh yeah a lot of the things that j t was fighting for this movie
that quadruple chin was truck so quadruple chin
one of his main philosophies for profit was one way you can profit
profit
one way
that you profit is by
taking away from the work
uh... if you limit their pay you don't pay people much that that's how you can
profit
as much work done
and you don't pay as much
that's pretty much slavery that's the most profitable way to work not trying
not pro-slavery but you know what i mean
and so but j t well are you know i'm not but j t the whole time is pro
back to hogan t roach
right
now i know better
but i i will say that uh... j t the whole time trying to get everybody paid
he's pro
uh... union it feels like he really is a pro union worker
he's a head like he's he's a great security leader
good hero for a movie
uh... i'm totally invested in the minutiae of this world
and the corporation
and the scheming
in the backstabbing and i like the alien race should i
should i read the book is what i wrote and then i put my respect club
i just looked up the book
and holy shit that cover here we go
which
hold us up everybody
that's the cover to battle for the earth
a saga
of the year three thousand by elrond hovard is jacked blonde man with a gun
front of all
burning volcano probably for the souls from aliens
and uh... there's a look at that all that is the look at that proper gun as
opposed to their upside down guns yeah that was a that was a choice the
director movies should have ended when barry got a hold of the gun and sits
like it's all jack that he just shoots himself that would be that would be a
funny
yes
now you're cooking with gas gas barry actually
but that's how to take should have died immediately
uh... right off the bat
so i looked at the book cover holy shit screaming read me i'm cheesy fun sci-fi
stuff
oh so
but the point there is full-time actually name
johnnie
good boy tyler
so
uh... he's actually the real j t
that that's the whole this whole time
i've been referred to john travolta that has to take the
this characters named j t board is good at i put how confusing it's notes
immediately after
uh... should call very
this book is over one thousand pages long
forty five
bucking hours on audible
that is all
you are short of the stand by steven king
that made an entire many series that to cover it all
holy shit
that would be if i were to read it
it would be probably the second or third longest book i've ever listened to an
audible
longest beat sixty hours
what was the like this movie
thirty six hours
you just michael but such as i wish there's more left you wanting more
side notes
i've attained in my own notes side note
i just found something called here were sonal tople them book
they're like these little thirty to forty minute long
re uh... sci-fi story
but if you look at it
why is the flights in what book in a hard boat when he's trying to teach
barry had a fly the ship he gets one try it very crashes or the most complex
looking fucking star fox sixty four bullshit i've ever seen
of the things like you do it again i kill your peculiar trooper all right i'm
better now
and then he's just
i'd be mad to because he could that's i mean the twenty-six-hour i don't know
why over everything what's the where's he going
i think it's he's supposed to be able to
mine in
like destroyed cities
take a take a spaceship into uh... into destroyed cities
giving very autonomy to get the job done
without micromanage
the plot that's a good job for j t i was happy with that
that was fun let's get it
title plots i get probably role
that the meanwhile he goes back over tries to do it all those political
shenanigans going on with quadruple chin
uh...
okay
come on it's not a comedy you guys are saying and get their flight the ship
we would have passed over the line
whether whether it's going from state to state
i didn't see a pocket line
that was so funny
they must have paid it
it's a good
so good
uh... how is he smart enough to read the declaration of independence and not
though i had a book read it back
is where
is the leader of the wild of the wild tribe the bully three o'clock high i
think we've established it is
is that what
or not looks like
i killed an image yes
except it does support noxie that had me cracking up that they exploded the first
or overcut it open
and then the state was cracked
pulled it back
all like
where behind the cold where the cold was it was already open
i didn't notice also someone else had already been in there but it was full
gold still it was just open
at the door back
well conduit here
also that the cyclos couldn't figure out that that's where the cold was like
they have like
satellite imaging that although there was just a landslide that reveals in
golders like
well we just read like one book about others just a building full of gold
that's the beauty of the cycles as comedic
characters
is that
they don't see the force they don't see that the force through the trees is that
the expression like
this it's like right under their no
if they just like google bucket where the cold is
though here's the gold where's the gold right
i'd love when he gives them
both you had time to stop it down to put it in bars
that you have seven days that you have less time with the fucker what a watch
move
thank you
what up baller decisive fucking management move
that's why j t get shit done
that's why j t shouldn't be stuck on this bullshit planet
for the next fifty cycles with unlimited contract
like he should be on planet cycle running to show do we ever get like a
read on like what their lifespans are to be a little longer the same as humans
no that's one of the wanting more things that it leaves you with
well yeah they they talk about fifty cycle fifty sacks of oil no five hundred
cycles whatever yes so so whatever cycle is they didn't really say
the part that left me questioning is why
why did j t have a body in a freezer that he covered with gold
but it's cool
all your j t has not survived i think it is cool i think he hit the f
site all of you know
uh... and shelly
there's a show is underneath a bunch of fucking britsical
don't know he just hit his goal of more
uh... i think that he's smart
knows that it's a more body and think that that's what the both
and you probably would have run your gold skaters over what's known
that's probably what's
bucket cycles do if they want to like why what because
think about it you'd be like
tried to find that that for
well you know what the that's that were all
pro-corporation profit might be picked a great cycle that's what i thought you
cycle mike
from the beginning i knew this was gonna happen
uh...
very rescues his girlfriend and she says i've always known this is your destiny
and i'm thinking what
but it's no you did not you don't even know that cycles existed before ten
minutes ago
this is the one time austin i will allow female being the main bill
if you really want to do your sexist slant if you want to go this check
cause but you know what though i will say this
she's not really because
she doesn't really do anything
or accomplish anything or help anything or get away with it
yeah mike
the that's it
what mike would say uh...
uh... also
why is she not
why should not have any
default idiot with it
he didn't put her in the thinking
dot into the
other that there are my my role is just there he's the so i think he was
sneaking them into it too
that's what i thought that i don't think he was i think what
it's trying to say is that humans
we are intelligent enough to understand certain concept like when he went with
with uh...
made the triangle
right like it showed
it showed understanding
and so
shows understanding
i could see that he was teaching them
i'll buy that
but man if you give a man a little cookies and what's up
fucking milk right
uh...
so animals can't fly the deleted c absolutely pocket love if you're
watching the person i watched that had german subtitles
uh...
that uh... it didn't have this beautiful scene in which john triple
that it was with her at the conversation
and they have a group of animals
it picked one up at
force workers like well
you don't want to let them outside the fly away it's like you know
you have you ever see what flight no
that you know
it's a prosaic lipids wonderful
uh... it's just like
it's body and that's what you want i wish they incorporated i wish they added
up up
you know face the to it
for like laughs
uh...
what will get their
can shut up
it feels no pain
and i like that's a party choice to take
as that like it's for these guys feel paid
it's so funny
or anger is just like all of all of you
that happened
the whole you
should not play
will probably regrow or whatever
no blood
stop it i have a note that i don't remember what it was
but it was a
it was right after caveman learned jets in seven days
uh... a walk
okay adult that's probably what they were saying to each other was it when he
was like
passing some between the gates that uh... force would occur once
uh... it's a big a look
they were playing keep away
from uh... force from fw
uh... from uh... yeah
they completely gave up on showing the uh...
a really good laser
will see that at some point in this movie
the beams
that fire out of the guns stop demon
you don't maybe didn't notice
but at the very beginning you see the beams and i think at some point that
seventy eight billion right now
and they're just like listen noises will have to do
and you just gonna have to a bad to be just straight up no peace
they had to put it into the spaceships or something at the end
we took the earth at nine
minutes he said way earlier i don't know i wrote that down
all that's why
so
a fully trained military of all the earth
full capabilities and everybody fully trained in their positions and at their
battle ready station
they took him in nine minutes
i put uh...
i like okay but some
primitive stupid small-brained animals
what the fuck are they gonna do it
and what are they technically
that was another thought i have primitive would mean before we were around
or can't somebody primitive today
and just grow up primitive
and if someone exists the future from
us now with even a limited amount of
shared knowledge that we have at the world
would that make them primitive
or what it just have evolved in a different way we find still primitive
tribes they call them on islands instead but i guess what i'm saying is this
we have knowledge today that people thousand years ago
that that makes them primitive enough stop
even if the knowledge that
humans that animals would have a thousand years
which is that
and that
you know certain that laser technology
does that that make them
more advanced my dot but there's no buck
there's no way
that that just went off again
the real battle for the earth is your fucking phone broke
scientists calling in thomas stop this podcast now and stop but what i'm sick
it's little tom
sorry
but what i'm saying is
the fact that they know knowledge that we don't
with that make them more
advanced that even if they've lost the majority of the information we have now
homeboy doesn't know what what what sega genesis
but he knows that aliens exist with
hovercraft
well it's possible because if you go back to even caveman drawings we go see
there are like aliens drawn in
thousands of years
the wild dog sees a car doesn't make the dog less
or more
does because if there's a dog that exists in
the wilderness and i'll never see it
well then i guess
well it just has different information that i guess right there's no
communication
i think of it like this you said took nine minutes with our full military
might
nine minutes white the cell
they're still the same the cycles are still the same
and now it's just caveman it's just on a smaller scale
but they know even less so that would take like nine seconds in reality
what about
that they i agree with you that it would take a lot less
so uh...
okay but even though they're done with it so they technically ball
anyway that's just that
leave it comments uh...
it
so now they're just to shoot through concrete and yet
pushed park bench
get started to band
broke street side
one of the physics of these guns figured out people still very funny with your
try to get out of that have consistent
that's why i like
very because just do whatever is to whatever they need to do a lot
bullets
nine minutes that's not i wrote again
nine minutes
that's how long it took it's the entire party world
at these pretty bit
dot i wrote that twice because i've just
i was so angry with the concept that they think that they could pocket deal
with the cyclist were replaced
when barriers in in the control room
and the two pursuing cyclos walk it
and they're speaking alien oh yeah
so at some point after very little language
there's a scene where there is a lot of the room
it to cyclos walk in and they're talking to each other in cyclone
and
didn't understand that exchange
i think that was a bit of a bad here he should have they should have walked in
speaking english
i think they just didn't do that right post
uh...
but still
so
he just threw away his breather
at some point like you didn't need anymore
uh...
all of his now we're getting into like the final
the final
he started breaking things open with it
bringing it like
but still
stupid animal uh...
now we're our fighting back
three o'clock high
took the three hour flight simulator
and now he's ready to fuck and fly these
jets that
that defy all
yet but
we they don't just
you don't just hover
yes out of drop like on a time you think that's what i call that
okay well don't think ever make me feel stupid to get on my own show that might
i like out take warned them all in the plane
he's like there's a bunch of them heading to your position
heavily armed i'm like
that they're using the same guns that they have the same
that you are the info
i put it before the break three o'clock high literally scared to the point of
his debt so one point
he's flying the jet
ever keys literally i think load up a shipper to buy this point and yet
he sort of barrel rolls
feels like you get off out of the window
it that's so
it body
like it's just like like it
really is slapstick
i'm not kidding you that was a slapstick only get three o'clock high
if you know
what a great
what all it was your rating
but this was by by the way
by twelve angry men moment trying to change each of you
with the double
so i hope that over the next two more hours of notes that uh... we
that i think that i can't recognize that that we have to go to get to more hours
uh... i
yeah i i i did not watch the movie the same rose-colored glasses you did
had to read i had to
watch the ending of it today
you change me a little bit you change from a w two and a
uh... all
so this is the this is the
beginning of the arc of my twelve angry men i'd just turned it up you to adapt
can i turn it up to a study
character to be a touristy
that's what i see it will be
let's fucking go you got two more hours i had two hours
twenty five more pages of the
uh... might you might sway some votes but
yeah that's at the
i want to see the recap when you just changed it to be
that's a
uh...
all hospital recording collection looks like he wants to talk to you now
the fact that
so
now it's a some
uh...
certainly
i don't the
勝利
and i
word
a
my light
street
Yeah. Okay. Okay. So my next note. Sorry. I'm almost done. I'm willing to believe that
aliens came to Earth. I'm willing to believe that John Travolta graduated top of his class
and yet still manages to get outsmarted by a stupid man. I'm even willing to believe
in Scientology itself before I can believe that a bunch of partially trained primitive
people could operate complex military jets and outsmart and outmaneuver those trained
cyclos in their way more advanced aircrafts and their way more training and their regiment
training. These are fucking guys that went to military school or corporation or whatever
it is and learned how to fly these jets. And yet you want me to believe that these primitive
dumb brave heart painted three o'clock high bullies are going to somehow fucking do it.
Give me a break. They got lucky. Maybe they wore the wrong size Kanye boots that day.
They couldn't work the foot pedals on a jet-set. They were tripping over rocks and shit. There's
no way they would use their feet to operate anything. I would bet if they got... The reason
their ships are shaped like their feet, which I think is to accommodate their awkward long
big boot bodies. I put terrible graphics. I don't know why, but who needs to know why?
Lamest explosion ever. My first flash animation. When they blow up the planet? Yeah, probably.
There's that one little piece that... No, not the planet blow up, which I actually like.
Oh yeah, yeah, here. So I'm so sorry, dude. Here. You're going to hit it twice? Hit here
twice. When it vibrates. When it vibrates, you're going to put the finger over that hole.
Pass it over to me, please. I don't know. Happy hunting, he puts. Okay. I had a problem with
this. So I did like that he said happy hunting. I do like the idea that he's trying to encourage
his workers to enjoy their life and enjoy their work. But surely not every cyclone wants
to kill animals. And then I put, there's no way that given the physical resemblance that
we have to cyclones, which there is a physical resemblance, that there isn't some cross fucking
going on. So I would refuse to believe that they would all be so willing to kill. I mean,
I would smash one of those big four headed women with the fucking tongues. So why wouldn't
it go the other way around? Hold on one second, I'm going to take this hit. Thoughts? Thoughts,
okay. Wait, are you going to let me go into my notes? My notes are way shorter than yours.
I'll let you finish your notes first. Because my thoughts aren't exactly the same as yours.
However, I would say, I will say that I would enjoy a recut of this movie done by Andy Rice.
I would give anything to watch this movie if you could recut it and do the voices and everything
and change it into what you're saying it is. I think that might be a good movie. However,
that's not what we fucking watched. I could already see him with the soundboard with like
programming it. Like there's one that's like, Exactly. I would like to see that. It'd be
when he threw him off the. Right. I would like to see that recut, but I'm pretty sure
that's not what we've watched. Okay, back to my notes. Although, although if I were,
I continued my notes. Although if I were to smash one of those aliens, I doubt that she
would get much enjoyment out of it. Because as a manimal myself, two thirds the size of
what she's used to, dot, dot, dot. I swear if any of these homeless people put up a fight
in any kind of way, I wrote that while they were all fighting. And then they did. And
I put, God damn it. Lamest explosion ever. My first Mario paint movie. And then I put,
okay. So the, Oh man, we got to watch this one. One 44. This is, this is, this is the
worst one. There's a scene where everything. Exactly. But hold on.
Watch. Watch these cyclos. The most. That was so bad. I mean, oh wait, no, actually
there's more, but you don't have to. Okay. There. This is, this is important. You know
what? Actually I can even wait a little bit longer. These twin tower footage. That is,
Oh Jesus Christ. This was the year 2000. Okay. That's another one. They're just flying out
of fucking windows for no reason. But here's the class. Look how chunky that glass is.
Now you just wait one second. I put, okay. So I put the bodies jumping out. Bad, bad,
bad, bad, bad, bad. Is that supposed to be skyscraper glass? Why does it look so chunky?
It looks like ice. This is the second time that they have fucked up the concept of glass.
The first time they fucked it up was when he picked up that other chunky piece of plastic
that they said was glass that he's been using to cut shit with this whole time. And then
he licked it and nothing happened. It's like, that was weird. And I sort of just let it
go cause I was like bad prop design, but whoever propped design this movie doesn't know what
glass is. Like no windows are made out of the crystals that Superman used to make his
fortress of solitude. That is what they look like. There is no fucking skyscraper made
of that. So. Although it fits in well next to Darth on your screen. A little bit. Yeah.
Actually it does kind of work. It looks like he's looking at some like ice crystals or
whatever. It's like the second time they fucked up the concept of glass. The shard he had,
yeah come on. So chunky I wrote again cause this popped up. I wrote that on the first
chunky. I paused it. These chunky boys popped up and I'm like what's happening here? Why
make a movie with graphics if you can't graphic? I wrote. Well, losing limbs means nothing
after John Travolta gets his arm shot off or gets blown off. Oh, so I like to, I like
a good I'm going to die moment. So spoilers to speed. If you haven't seen that movie,
but in speed Keanu Reeves partner finds the bomb maker's house, but unbeknownst to him
and the rest of the SWAT team, there's it's been rigged with explosives and he realizes
it and right before he dies, it cuts to Jeff Daniel's face and it is one of the best of
all time making peace with fucking everything scared that you're going to die, accepting
that you're going to die, knowing what got you here, knowing you're proud to be there,
knowing you were doing a good job, hoping that the job still gets done, knowing that
you did your part in it. It's all conveyed one look. I don't know how many takes it took,
but holy shit, what a scene. And I, I look nothing maybe can beat that. Maybe there are
some movies, but the little redheaded kid who loses his brother, his dad, whoever the
fuck at one point, the one who decides to take the bomb to blow up the planet. When
he goes onto their teleportation deck with the most nuclear bomb that's ever existed
in the world, he had, he had, he's crying and you could tell that's like, fuck, I need
to do this. And that was beautiful. That was like, well done. So in any good comedy, when
you can add a little bit of emotion to kind of take away from just the ha ha ha ha ha.
That's why like when you watch a great comedy like good luck Chuck, you really got to look
at something like Dane Cook being in a predicament where he might not find love because women
often just fuck him to find the next person that they're going to fuck. When you look
at a movie, a classic comedy like Mean Girls and Regina George, you know, it doesn't even
matter. JT getting stuck at Fort Knox, what a comedic comeuppance. Like if that's not
how you end a fucking comedy is the main character where it's all about gold getting, if Austin
Powers, one of them didn't end up with the fucking, I love gold. If he didn't end up
trapped in some room with gold, that's exactly how I would think it would end. Then I don't
know what we're doing. And I think that's exactly what they did with JT's character.
I love it. The wigs were a choice. They were comedic. It's like it's the same reason that
they make they made James Franco look crazy in Spring Breakers. It's all just for the
shock value just to get you thinking. It's to get people talking at the water cooler.
Oh and then Butler, Forrest Whitaker. Oh I put and the butlers, I put the butlers from
the movie The Butler, so the butlers, Forrest Whitaker, becoming head human cyclone, I absolutely
love. That's funny. Well no but it's funny because he's like they made me head cyclone
and he fucking loves it. He's just, he's a real Uncle Tom to the humans. I don't know
if I'm allowed to say that. I don't really know what that means. Maybe I'm too white
to be using the word Uncle Tom. But I think I used it correctly. Hilarious end to a workplace
comedy. Womp Womp I wrote. Maybe the next, maybe in the next episode you'll get those
pesky animals. That's how I wrote it. And then here's my final thoughts. I've never
thought more about the inner workings of an alien species in any movie as much as in this.
Trade negotiations and Star Wars, forget about it. I don't care. The alien of the week in
any given Star Trek episode, whatever. It's just plot device. You know like who, what
did I put? Shit. Star Wars is space politics. This is more space corporation. It's all politics.
So that sets there. I just wrote this but I put another one is who is ET and why does
he have limited English? Why were his people here? I'm a little bit interested in that,
but nearly as interested in the corporation of cyclos. You could go back to any point
in the last thousand years of their human reign and I would love to see what was going
on. I would love to see the shenanigans that people are going into. Is JT from this movie
going to get his promotion through scheming? I love it. That's like I'm super interested
in that. Like the whole like, the whole like him trying to, I'm not even, unironically
I absolutely loved his ambitious goals to become that the, you know, to get out of there.
Barry Pepper and JT both crushed it. I forgot to put Forest Whitaker. He did an amazing
job with his limited vision. I give this and I'm 100% mean it a B plus. And now my notes
are done. Thank you so much for the last hour and a half I think of, I said 20 notes that
you picked a fucking hell of a movie Austin. Oh, I don't know if you thought picking
Battlefield Earth star John Travolta was going to unlock something in me. Was it a troll?
But like, no, it was there. I know I just picked it. That movie, it's going to sit with me for years.
I'm going to watch it every year on my birthday. Okay. Now I'm going to take my five minutes.
Jesus. We are running out of time. The first note I took is, and this is like right when the movie started.
What the fuck am I watching? Why the fuck did you make us watch this? Because it starts out as a melodrama with a melodramatic soap opera.
They're all on the horses going through the thing. It's just, yeah, it's melodrama. It's very melodrama.
Like the music. Like the opening to Braveheart? You know what? Yeah, kind of. Cinematography on point.
Yeah, yes, that part was. Great horse riding skills. That part was. Beautiful. I'm like, what is this sci-fi bullshit supposed to be?
Great wigs. Why don't you just take my five minutes too. I'm just saying, you're going to say something about the horse riding.
It's good. No, continue. I'm answering back. I like your note so far. If a bit melodramatic.
The next one is Kim Coats. What the hell? What's he doing in it? Kim Coats.
Oh, okay. Then it's like the hair starts and it's like Predator had worse special effects.
It is like it is very Predator. Then it's my eyes. I've seen better effects on YouTube student films.
That was a good one. I wish I thought of that when I was doing my MS Paint stuff. Tan gray, brown and black everywhere.
The color in this thing sucks. You didn't like that? What the fuck? This is unwatchable. Okay, that answered that.
We should let Bob take your next pick. Only Bob.
You did put in the chat how fucking pissed you were. We can't talk about it. We have a secret.
Eight season long. We're going full deep. We made Mike watch an eight season show so that we could all talk about the movie based on that show.
That I'm liking. I'm six seasons in. I'm six seasons in and had to stop to watch this shit.
A really good show. You should be pretty even right now. You have a really long show. That's good. And then a movie that's bad.
The last note I took before my title of my actual review was 73 million dollars. Where the hell is it? Every penny shines.
Miskivich stole a bunch of this fucking money. 73 million dollars in 2000 is like 250 million dollars today. It's more than the Marvel movies. It's more money than a Marvel movie.
You know what? Better than some Marvel movies. I would say every penny shined. I should have said every penny was unlucky.
Really? I didn't look up any trivia because I didn't want to ruin the effect it had on me. I'm not going to go through my whole written review but I'll give you just the first paragraph.
It's a bendoverflix.com. I put up the full reviews. They're helped by AI. You need to say it a lot more confidently. It's a bendoverflix.com.
It's a weird AI old man that he made that's angry and he watches all the same movies that we watch. It's a weird kind of black mirror universe that's going on over there online. If you want to delve into the weird mind of what Mike is doing on his own outside of what the weird shit he's doing with us, then you go to bendoverflix.com and look at his weird AI shit.
He puts the pictures up that he prints out on paper. Do you have one today with a picture? Oh, not an AI one. I had to stop. I had to clear my mind after watching this and go to the movies and watch an actual movie.
We here at Fried Rice Podcast do not condone anything at bendoverflix.com. I know he might claim it's a sister website or some sort of... It is not under the FRP umbrella.
It's not. So I'll just tell you the title of this one. Battlefield Earth, an unprecedented amalgamation of cinematic feces. Oh, battlefield earth, you lumbering, grotesque affront to every tenant of competent filmmaking and basic human dignity.
This unholy 2000 abomination, ostensibly adapted from the certifiable ramblings of L. Ron Hubbard. And it goes on from there. And that's the good part of the movie. That's like Shakespeare wrote a fucking insult.
Battlefield Earth, an unprecedented amalgamation of cinematic feces. So what you're saying is this is a movie unlike any other. It is a mishmash of all the worst things that movies have ever given us previously thrown together in this Frankenstein's sci-fi monster of bullshit.
And that is... Wow, it's almost like you've read this entire review. That's pretty much it. I will say this. You could be further from the truth. When people talk about great comedies like Groundhog's Day, they focus on the memorable moments.
Like when Needlenose Ned Ryerson steps into the puddle each time. Oh no, sorry, when the main guy steps into the puddle, Needlenose doesn't stop him or says, oh, that's a doozy. Remember that one? How memorable it is. I fucked it up three times trying to say what it was.
I'm contacted. I don't know what we're talking about. Okay, fair enough. You lost me. Yeah. No, there's actually... I'll give you the positive out of this review. There's a positive spot in here. You ready? Yet even when assessed purely as a so bad it's good folly, Battlefield Earth fails miserably by virtue of being a stupefying endurance test.
For every microsecond of unintentional high camp brilliance imparted by the Cyclos ludicrous designs or Barry Pepper's peck busting hero turn, there are several eons of soul sucking monotony.
Did you say peck busting? Say that line again. Say that last... Say that unexpectedly sexy line about Barry Pepper that you wrote with your AI, Mike. Say it slow. Say it like you fucking mean it. You titty hiding bitch.
Barry Pepper's peck busting hero turn. I didn't enjoy it. I regretted asking you to do it. Then you said it. Now I just violated our listeners is what happened. Anyway, it's just it's too long. It's horrible. It's a torture session.
I went afterwards. My wife was like, we have to leave the house. I cannot even sit here anymore. That's funny. We went and watched Fall Guy, which is great, by the way. Go watch Fall Guy because you talk about a nice palette cleanser. Oh my gosh. Fall Guy. Fall Guy is like it's like a masterpiece in comparison.
I think it's hilarious that you thought this movie, that you and your wife thought this movie so bad, got out of the house to physically go to a different location, put a completely different movie in your brain to then just come back.
And I swear to God, I, I loved this movie. I paused. It took me a little over three, maybe three and a half hours to watch this movie because I kept pausing. I kept laughing and writing down. It's just such so enjoyable.
The point is you can't change my mind. It's a W. Oh, come on. I did 12 A and you did an F. No, nothing I said. W plus. W's don't even have plus.
You're saying it's worse than Slipstream.
I'm saying we should let Bob pick the next movie you should never be allowed to pick again. What the hell's what I'm saying? Bob picked better movies.
Wow, a W with no wiggle room. That's a low score. Got a B plus, a D and a W. Hold on, let me read.
Okay.
Psych.
You're starting a war with that.
That really is a bummer.
Okay.
Did you skip my rating? Cyclomike. We'll get you less. Oh. Cyclomike.
I really don't have much to say about the movie. I'll be honest. Other than it was the greatest movie ever made since Waterworld.
Oh, hell yeah. That's how much money made. It's a great movie. That's about all I have to say about that.
God damn, I hate when this happens. But yes, we're getting an M from Psychomike.
For Masterpiece?
Oh, yes, which is way higher than even an S maybe. I don't know. We'll see what happens with this. We got an M from Psychomike.
Austin, you're the lynchpin in this whole operation. What's going to happen?
I feel like I'm about to get lynched by Mike later. If you let me pick the movie when it circles back to me.
I saw this movie a long time ago as a kid. It was on HBO or something. Battlefield or if that sounds cool.
I liked all the decay of society thing going on. The mini golf course. It's all degraded. It goes to the old city. People don't really know.
They thought these cars were chariots for the gods. I was just into it.
The John Travolta Alien was like, forget about that part. I enjoyed it. Going back and watching it. Right after Tig blows up the dome.
I went to Google something about the movie. Battlefield Earth based on the book by L. Ron Hubbard. I was like, oh, did not know that.
I was going to give it a P plus but the Scientology thing brought it down to a C. Really? What about the Scientology thing?
It's not that bad of an organization as we've all learned.
Where's Shelly? Some people say that the whole aliens thing is kind of like goofy but don't focus on that.
Focus on when you're talking to somebody and you're having one of their auditing sessions. How much it can help you in your daily life.
Find your local Scientology center near you and take a personality test today. You know what? You're right, Andy.
Dianetics. Hey, what have I got? Someone help me. Save me. It's two or Dianetics for me.
I'll be your spokes boy. I'll jump on a couch. I'll marry Katie Holmes. Whatever you need. I'll star in Mission Impossible.
Do I have to suck? No, I'm not even going to. I'm not even going to go there.
You know what? I'm going to go C plus then. Hell yeah! I 12 angry men are going to do a C plus. All right.
Okay. This is how we're going to do this.
And you're not taking away my fucking pics. This is a banger episode. Every time I pick a movie, whether it's great or terrible.
No, great for the pod. Great for the pod. Horrible to watch.
Okay. I'm going to talk to Chad GPT. We're going to figure this out. Legit.
Okay, Chad GPT. Here's the thing. I have a rating system for movies, for my podcast, Pride Ride Podcast.
Let's get Pride Ride. Okay. That's great. We love it. But the rating system is from B or B plus, technically B, the highest rating system.
It goes B, C, D, and then F for being the lowest. But then we have an even lower one called W for wasting time, which is as low as it gets.
But we have a new rating thrown in called M, which stands for masterpiece, which is the highest possible achievable fucking thing that's ever been said on the show.
So this is better than an S rating. This is better than a gold star. This is better than anybody, anything ever said.
So with all of that, what rating does the movie Battlefield Earth get when the ratings are a C plus from Austin, a B plus from me, a D from Brennan, a W from Mike, and a M for masterpiece from Cyclo Mike.
It fits. Dude, come on. Let's go. What a diverse set of ratings for the movie Battlefield First.
It seems like opinions are spread across the spectrum. Here's how you might summarize the overall rating.
Given that the ratings range from W, the waste of time, to M for masterpiece, it suggests a highly polarizing fill. In scenarios like this, highlighting the mixed nature of reviews could be.
What does it give me? Give me a grade. Do the math. The calculated. Oh, M is a six, a B plus is a four, a C plus is a three, a D is a two, a wasted time is a one. Austin.
Okay. So average grade is a three point two, which that's not right. You broke. He broke chat. You know what? Battlefield Earth gets an M for masterpiece.
I'm done fucking around that in season two on a note, doesn't it? Yeah. Season two ends with Battlefield Earth and masterpieces. One of the funniest workplace comedies ever made.
Better than office space. I can't wait for the season three finale and we get to look at back. What was the fun? Was the season finale for one die hard season?
Season two Battlefield Earth. What was the rating? Oh, die hard gets a B. Battlefield Earth. Oh, an M for masterpieces.
Yeah, okay. So, uh, before we go, Mike, you are picking the movie for this next week for the season premiere of season three, which, hope to God, we're going to be filming by then. But we're definitely going to figure out the kinks of this whole recording. So as much fun as we had here today, I think I hope to God this recorded well. You guys are enjoying this.
Mike's going to Mike went at three a.m. after getting off of the chat went and looked for the worst fucking movie possible to try to punish me. I make my grandma watch all these mics. The joke's on you.
No, I actually went and thought palette cleanser. But we've been well, this being such a great workplace comedy that we should get off comedy, even though I still wanted Robin Williams.
I did Robin Williams. I started looking at Robin Williams movies and there's old Robin Williams movie that hardly anyone's seen. It's like a almost like a not a student film, but just an indie before his fame. He was famous or his 2004 is coked out Robin Williams.
This is coked out Robin Williams. It's really a dark sci fi comedy. I don't know where they get comedy out of it other than situational comedy. I haven't seen it in a long time. It's called the final cut.
And it's about a dude whose job is to watch people's they have chips embedded in them when they're little babies. And then he makes the cut that they show at your funeral of your whole life.
It's messed up. This is a movie I have seen probably in 2004. Yeah, and I think I forgot it. Oh, look, it's free on Tubi. Yeah, that's our whole requirement. That's how I looked it up. Yeah. Perfect. So next week's movie.
Next week's movie.
The final cut 2000 2000 brought to you by Mike, that's gonna be the season premiere. You're the one to start off. But I'm okay. That's the nature of the show. One week it's fucking goonies. The next week, it's the funniest movie of all time.
Battlefield Earth. It's decent comedy up and smoke. Are we doing IMDB for Battlefield Earth? Oh, look, trivia. I did one. I haven't looked at any of it. I haven't looked at a single trivia fact. What the director produced.
I don't know. The only thing I looked up was the was the. Oh, it is one of the most awarded movies of all time. It did get like 11 awards. For us would occur. They're all razzies. Yeah, they were all razzies. That's fucked up.
Yeah, it says force Whitaker expresses regret for participating in the movie. I that's so stupid. That's such a piece. It's so good. Quentin Tarantino. JT initially offered director seat to Quentin Tarantino that would have been funny.
He would have done a better job. Less editing errors. Barry Pepper said he had known he was going to win were supporting actor at the Razzies. He would have shown up to if he had known he would have shown up.
That's cool. Cinematographer has gone on record saying that he the overuse of color filters and Dutch angles wasn't his idea and that he was given the smallest lighting budget he has ever worked with. OK, all right. Whatever. That's the budget.
What are you going to do? Only 78 million. Barry Pepper blamed the film's failure. What failure? On a weak script and a poor production values, he claimed JT's paycheck took most of the budget. Oh, I guess that makes sense.
What failure? This movie was a starter. Openly apologize for the film. What the fuck? This is the saddest trivia I've ever seen from a movie I genuinely fucking love. Oh, the original plans for sequel be produced would be based on the second half of the book.
This is only half of the book. Oh, your God. There's going to be a Wednesday Night Book Club all about Battlefield Earth, the 45 hour fucking journey. I'm going to have to go on to get through that shit. Forget H.B. Lovecraft. I'll get there.
Oh, my God. Fuck. There's a second half. No, you know what, though? If the second half follows more of the stupid manamul. John Travolta referred to this film as a like a Star Wars A New Hope, but better.
And the Schindler's List of a science fiction films during publicity. All right. But listen, listen, you know how often I have to separate the art from the artist. You know how many times I got to be like, all right, I'm going to listen to 808s and heartbreaks, even though I know Kanye West is pro Hitler. I just love that album. How do I not listen to some of my favorite music? It's like, have any of the did John Lennon ever beat his wife? We'll never know. Like, do you listen to the Beatles? Have any of them done any savage shit? There's bad people. They do bad stuff.
But the music still kicks Michael Jackson. You're going to stop listening to Michael Jackson just because he might have done some weird shit, might not have. I don't know. So, yeah, JT walking around saying this is the Schindler's List of science fiction. OK, a little bit weird. Fine. Schindler's List of science fiction. A little bit fine. Maybe he was Saturday Night Fever coked up, man. I don't know. Yeah, that's probably John JT. Best movie since Verbal Cowboy. Oh, wait, you're saying this is his best movie since Verbal Cowboy.
No, no, listen, I did say it's a masterpiece. You're putting it OK. Yeah. Overpulp. OK, yeah. Let's see. Until I Know Who Killed Me, 2007, exceeded their record by winning eight Razings in 2008. This was tied with Showgirls.
Which I almost picked. Oh, wow. For the most raspberry awards in a year. Seven. While Showgirls received almost twice as many nominations, the film won in every single category, which was nominated at the 2001. Oh, there's only seven categories. Four stars.
For the most raspberry awards in a year. Seven. While Showgirls received almost twice as many nominations, the film won in every single category, which was nominated at the 2001. Oh, there's only seven categories. Forrest Whitaker, the only nominee to escape without a Razzie.
Good. You did great. This film went on to win a special Razzie for worst drama of the first 25, worst picture of the decade. There's no fucking way that people hate this movie so much. I'm afraid to look at it's Rotten Tomato.
I'm afraid to look at it's Rotten Tomato. If this is sub. Listen, I know people are savage, but if this is sub 40, I'm going to be pissed. If this is sub 40, I'm going to be pissed. Oh, are you fucking kidding me? Read it. It's a three percent and a 12 percent.
That 12 percent all every one of them. Scientology and Andy. I think slipstream did better. A lot better. No, did it.
Definitely the worst movie we've watched. Oh, my God. It's been way better. 43, 23. I like how it's just degrees of that. Wow.
Wait, OK. If this is worse than if you don't stop dot dot dot, I'm going to kill myself. Oh, OK. Oh, no. Wait, what's happening? Oh, it's fine.
You don't stop. Oh, 33. It doesn't even have a tomato. No, it's got a bucket and that's 33.
If you don't stop dot dot dot, you'll go blind, which literally has a rape joke as no. Sorry. Not one is a ongoing series of rape jokes is somehow more highly regarded than the best sci fi workplace.
Better than that one with Tim. Terrifier. What's the one with Tim Allen? The one that everybody loves. That's Snape. Come on.
Snape from Harry Potter. Tim Allen. I only know Tim Allen of Santa Claus. This is the most. Come on. Come on. This is no. No, it's not zoom. It's Galaxy Quest. How did that take us so long? Here's the juicy one at the bottom.
Read that. The investor entertainment with an E sued producer franchise picture for fraud. Franchise claimed that the budget was seventy five million instead of the actual budget of forty four. Franchise.
Franchise was ordered by the court to pay intern entertainment. Well, one hundred and twenty one million. That doesn't seem right. It damages it with bankrupt entertainment only finance the film. Package deal with the art of war in the whole nine yards. Oh, I love the whole nine yards.
What's the art of war? Is that the one with Jet Li? Oh, Wesley Snipes. Oh, and this guy who just turned 95 years old, James Hong.
Yeah, he's been he's been. Well, shit. But only on fried rice. Our ratings. This is a masterpiece.
Rice the rice. Don't worry, guys. We're going to be making a count on all of these rating sites and there's going to be reviews somehow. We'll get the transcript of these and put them up there.
Anyway, yeah, I mean, this is forty four million dollars that if you take that into consideration, then this movie really stretched that budget and looked good for what it is. It's only the equivalent of Deadpool and Wolverine today.
As long as that movie looks like this movie, you'd be right.
I don't like that. Is that what you're shooting for? Wait, hold on.
When did I say you could be aggressive to me? Forty million dollars in two thousand.
Three point. No, that's pounds. OK, no, it's not three point four trillion pounds.
It's seventy nine point eight one eighty million. OK, that's a hundred million dollars. Yeah, it's like a low budget.
But that's the well, I don't know where the forty four came from, because everything I've seen says seventy three.
If you go on IMDb, it says seventy three because they stole thirty. Right.
Yeah, there was going to be a battle for the two thousand three. You're so disappointed.
John Travolta defends the movie still. Where? At the bottom.
Despite the film's critical financial failure. Fine. Yeah.
John Travolta has gone on public to defend it, even though it made less than thirty million at the World Box Office.
That's a shame and received seven raspberries. He claimed not every film can be critical in box office success.
It would have been awful only if Battlefield Earth was nine.
That's not the case. It's edging towards the hundred million mark, which means it found an audience, even if it didn't press credit.
He stated, I have people around me whose job is to tell me about the raspberries. They're obviously doing their job.
For years, he remained adamant that the film would become a cult classic. Fuck. Yes, my brother.
And a sequel to the work he said, he even said that they were to make it again.
He would do it. Some producer blame the critics for not giving the movie a fair chance, saying they're waiting for us to chop our heads off.
Everyone hates Scientology for some reason. I don't know why people are so prejudiced. I get that. If you were looking where Shelley.
OK, yeah. The word made animals said twenty eight times. It really got in my head. Yeah.
When the first when the book was first written, John Travolta wanted to make the movie and star as Johnny Goodboy.
Oh, the young hero. However, he couldn't get any investors.
So by the time it was made, he had to be the evil. Wait, villain. He had to play the villain.
When did he play? What villain was he? Well, Terry. Wait, the final shooting screenplay was rewritten by someone brought in by Scientology's inner circle.
Oh, shit. Fuck yeah. But when we who's the what villain?
Who's Jonathan Travolta in the movie Battlefield Earth?
Bulls. OK, that's fun trivia. Cool. Here's the whole nine yards. Great.
Just comments, just fact after fact about just shitting on it.
Great. So this is Mike, would you mind putting your mic up to the thing and we'll exit this way.
The final cut.
That was aggressive. Oh, that's dope. Hey, I can make some sick fucking beats, bro.
I don't have to pay anyone for this. Thank you so much, everybody.
This has been so far, maybe my favorite episode ever.
A fried rice podcast. We reviewed one of the funniest and best workplace comedies of all time.
Thank you for joining us next week. We're going to watch a weird, strange, awkward Robin Williams movie where he cuts people's furals together.
It's going to be dark. It's going to be twisted. It's going to be obscure.
What a way to start a season with me, as always, is Cyclow Mike.
Mike himself.
Bye.
Thank you. With me, as always, is he not only learned from a language bought to speak my language, but then he fucked the hologram afterwards.
It's he. He. I don't know. Austin. Austin. He flew three hours to be here.
He's the fuck out. And with me, as always, is Michael Larson.
Have a good week. All right, everybody. Have a great night. Thanks a lot. Bye.