Music
That's why I have this one beer and the one earlier and that's it.
Cause I've got to drive back.
Yeah I've only had a couple beers.
But I'm sorry was it rude?
No I was just fucking with you.
Okay well then don't ever fuck with me again.
I don't like people fucking with me.
And welcome to another just bickering who knows how this is supposed to start.
No reason bullshit episode in a hotel room with four beds and there's three of us and
yet we're staying in the smallest room right now.
Episode of Fried Rice Podcast.
I'm your host Andy Rice.
Let's get fried with me as always.
You know him as the man that travels more than any other man to be on this show.
It is Austin.
He will rock you.
His beard is as long as his hair.
His hair is as long as his beard.
His face is as long as his chest and his arms are as long as his legs.
Whatever that says about him, whatever it means to you, whatever that means in the grand scheme
of things that's just who he is.
He did a great job tonight.
Farrell.
Check me out on Radio Shack.
He gave me the fucking hurry up sign.
And with us as always is Michael.
We drove him out to a deserted mining town because no one in the world is going to look
for his body out here and yet despite the fact that we riddled him with bullets and hit him
over the head with a shovel, he's still fucking here in a Lilo and Stitch Hawaiian shirt with
a pocket full of Melk Duds Larson.
That'll be cellios to you.
Oh my god.
New rule.
If you call yourself cellios one more time, I get rid of your ability to vote for movies
for like a bomb amount of time until you have some ridiculous stupid thing you have to do
to make up for it.
So just remember that.
Okay, I'll remember that.
This is on the books.
Happy 420 everybody.
Mike, I just wanted to show you.
You know how Andy always says like, oh, you're going to run out of like things like for each
episode.
Just don't say anything out loud.
But I mean, there's a whole bunch of them.
Never going to run out, baby.
Okay.
It's my favorite thing if you're talking about what I think you're talking about.
So a little bit about where we are.
We're in Cloride, Arizona.
We just finished a family friendly sold out event in front of the all the senior citizens,
I think in the 50 50 mile radius, which is great.
Because a lot of a lot of my humor is old person based.
I've got a whole bit about hitting on older women.
It was a clean show, which is not usual for everybody.
And they did great.
I think it was better.
I think it's a good exercise.
It was elevated.
It felt good.
It was nice.
It was a challenge.
I didn't realize how much clean material I actually had.
And I got really mad when this show first.
Hey, remember Cloride we're going to do.
I was like, fuck.
I'm not fucking good.
You want to be fucking clean.
Yeah.
And then as time came, went by, I was like, okay, I do actually have some clean material.
I'll do it.
Yeah.
No.
I've tried to be.
I've tried to clean up my act in general over the last maybe year or two to get less vulgar.
And I've found shortcuts where you can have a dirty joke.
Like tonight I did my did I shit my pants joke.
Right.
Dominoes.
But I did it in such a way that was like I did it.
I don't even think I said the word poop once or maybe once.
Maybe once at the end.
I just, you got an applause break for a story about a time you did not poop your pants.
Yeah.
God damn right.
I think people looked at me and they're like, you know what?
Any day this guy doesn't shit his pants.
That's another tag for another.
Yeah.
I love the classic Andy jokes.
I mean, I love seeing them.
I hate it when they go away.
I hate when people have a good joke and they just stop telling it.
It's like, we're not doing clubs on the rig.
It's not, nobody's going to call you that guy who does the same five minutes every time.
If you tell the same joke a few times, there's nothing wrong with that.
You have, you know, I tell a lot of the same jokes and it's because I like those jokes
and they get a good reaction every time.
It's not like I'm, oh, it's not like I don't have new jokes.
I had a bunch of new jokes I did tonight and, and don't stop, don't stop telling those Andy.
I get it.
I forget them.
And I don't want to.
What I said to Anthony, who's, who's been on the show before and he is the leader of our group,
Mohamed Comedy, which you can go to mohamedcomedy.com and check us out or book us.
We love doing shows.
All of we were laughs made locally.
We're a group of standup comedians, like a traveling comedy troupe.
And we can be dirty or clean.
Dirty or clean.
And it doesn't matter.
Yeah.
Well, we've done corn fest, which is like a complete family friendly event, like a,
like a family fair.
Yeah.
And we've done the raunchiest clubs ever.
I mean, like, yeah.
So, uh, honestly, we, we got it covered.
So I told Anthony that these last two shows that we've done where I did do my old material,
but my, my best material probably.
And I did it well.
Like I delivered it with punch lines and it was punched up and just a little tighter and better
and cleaner.
Like I felt good about it for the first time doing old jokes.
I felt good.
But then I got the experience now to get the timing in those jokes.
And the thing is that even then there's been just this, this, this thing in my head for
the longest time where it's like, you know what?
I never want to do the same set twice.
I never want to tell the same joke twice.
I want to go out on stage and I want to do brand new, uh, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, every
single time I go up.
Right.
Yeah.
But professionally, if you think about that, that's not how it works for any of you.
You learn how to work the same set every night for six months, perfects it.
Exactly.
And then does a special and then starts a new.
You also organize the jokes you want to play with and connect to them.
You know, like a lot of my jokes, like I just, when I first started the first year, so I
just joke after joke after joke, you know, connection, nothing.
And then I'm like, well, this joke kind of relates to that one.
And then I had a whole section that was just sets and then being fucked up and then just
fucked up observations and then, and then it blossoms new jokes.
Anthony's great at that.
He literally sent me a text.
He's like, Hey, here's a set list.
You might want to consider.
And he named all of my jokes and put them in a good order because he's just like, Hey,
if you start with this, you can lead into this, this bully joke.
The bully joke leads into the gang joke.
He does that for you too.
Like for you, he sent, he tells me like things like, here's a good tag for this joke.
Tell this one, then tell that one.
So Anthony's this guy and maybe we don't give him enough credit.
I feel like he's not just a guy.
He's a fucking scientist, dude.
No, I'm not shitting on him.
I know, I know, I know.
He's great, but he's, he's this guy that goes really out of his way to help our craft
because he cares about the company.
He cares about Mojave company.
He wants us to show up to shows and have us all do great.
Turn the mic a little more towards you.
Oh, is it not picking me up?
No, it is.
It just looked kind of low.
Oh, okay.
So, um, still learning this podcast.
Yeah.
And ladies and gentlemen, if you're listening and you've been a fan or if you're new, um,
and it's your first time listening or whatever, we don't have the best equipment right now.
And we like to, we're rogue, man.
We like to do this on the run.
Right now we're currently in this cute little hotel that is attached.
So chloride Arizona is the longest, oldest active running mining town in Arizona.
And Arizona is a mining fucking state.
So, uh, it's an old tiny sort of ghost town looking town.
They have like a little replica town that does, you know, um, it's a lot like Oatman,
which we've been before.
We've talked about, um, without minus the donkeys, the cows out here, cows, but, uh,
yeah, but they, it's, it's the restaurant really good food.
It's called yesterday's and they had us completely sold out every chair, uh,
which was amazing to see attentive audience.
Not a single person left the entire show and that was even after, uh, Austin set.
Wow.
Yeah.
Two applause breaks.
Yeah. No, seriously.
Awesome.
No, it wasn't three applause breaks, Austin.
What the fuck?
Yeah. You counted one as an applause break.
This was probably, I've been to 15 or 20, Mavie County comedy shows, Mavie County shows.
And, uh, this is probably the best one I've been to as far as every individual
doing what no one bombed bombed.
Yeah.
It was actually, this was one of the better shows.
And I think it's because people had to think about everything so much to be clean.
It, I think it's harder.
Yeah.
I think it's harder and it makes you sit and look at what you're doing.
It's easy to throw in profanity to artificially extend something or to get a quick laugh.
But I think when you got to keep it all family friendly and it was adult situational stuff.
Yeah, there was situa- it wasn't, it wasn't clean as far as like kid jokes.
Anthony certainly pushed the plug.
Right. They pushed the-
Yeah, but if anyone can do that, it's the booker of the show.
Yeah.
And the last one.
Yeah. It doesn't matter at that point.
It was so funny cause he's like, all right guys, be clean and we're all clean.
And then he goes up and he's like, oh, pedophiles this and blah, blah, blah.
Put a maxi pad in my butt crack.
Yeah. Maxi pad in my butt hole.
But yet never cussed, never, you know, he didn't ever cross the line.
That was his interpretation of clean shows.
Yeah.
As long as they don't say fuck.
It was more gross out.
My favorite like dirty joke of his is where he talks about, well, with his wife and how
it's like she's laying on her stomach.
On a starfish.
She's on a bean bag chair.
She's trying to eat a little shrimp off the carpet.
Oh, it's so funny.
It's physical that one.
So let's get into what are we smoking.
It's weird because we're not, I'm smoking my pen inside the room.
I bought a Jeter's blue ZKZ cart and it's an indica and it's so far it's pretty powerful.
But before we came in, we smoked with one of the restaurant dudes.
Was that a Jeter?
Was that a baby Jeter?
A Tropicalli.
Which is, I think it's what's called Tropicalli.
And it's a sativa.
And you know, baby Jeters don't fuck around.
Jeter doesn't fuck around at all.
That's a great brand.
I recommend it so much.
I mean, like Jeter's probably my favorite weed brand so far.
Unless there's any other weed brands that would like to sponsor us.
And literally sponsor, I will put, I'll put 20 commercials at the front, 15 at the back.
And all we'd want is what?
An eighth a week?
Just a few joints?
Come on, you can afford it.
Weed companies.
And then I have a, I have a, also a vaporizer pen that I got.
It's the oldest thing you've ever said.
It is vaporizer.
It's a vape pen.
Disposable.
But it's a disposable, but it's kind of not.
Because it has a charger.
Because it has a charger on it, but it's also weird because I found this in my couch cushion.
And it's a USB-C.
Micro USB.
Oh, yeah.
It's, but it came from Jars.
It's just their Jars brand one.
It's a weed jewel.
It does look like a jewel.
But what's weird is it's old.
It came out of my couch because I found it in my couch.
Well, let me try it.
But it's almost like it's wax now instead of weed.
So when you smoke it, be aware, it doesn't take a lot.
It's quite enthickened.
Aged.
It's aged weed.
When you smoke it, you can't die.
Apparently it worked.
It came out of Mike's couch.
The funniest thing I've seen on YouTube lately has been this guy's like,
if the balloon touches the floor, you die.
And then he takes the balloon and he goes,
it was like a guy on Death Row.
Anyway, they try to kill him.
And it doesn't work because the balloon hasn't touched the ground.
Now you're invincible because you're holding the balloon.
And there's this back and forth and eventually the...
Oh, God, I'm butchering this.
This is just me being fucking high.
I was so into it too.
I wanted to know what happened.
It's so interesting.
Oh my God.
I've been recording at 17% this whole fucking time.
Oh, so turn the volume up.
I did.
For the first time ever, I think I accidentally saved everybody's ears in the beginning.
Yeah.
But only 12 minutes.
So sorry, everybody.
Hopefully this is louder.
It can be turned up post if you have to.
We'll just run that bell ringer ad.
For the first time ever.
The volume change.
No, no, right when the volume changes.
And we're back.
Welcome back.
Yeah.
I mean, I could do that, but I'd have to pause.
It can be fixed in post.
Whatever.
And we're back.
That's what we're smoking.
I'm already pretty stoned.
I had a few beers at the restaurant.
So I mean, I feel great.
This is a good day.
It's 420-2024, which backwards is 420-2024.
And our special is called Rice Ball Special 420-2024.
And then backwards.
Backwards is the same.
Wait, actually I did it wrong, didn't I guess?
If it's the same frontwards and backwards, it would be the same.
No, because then the 420-2024 should have been in the front, right?
I don't know.
Well, then I fucked it up.
I'm too high for this.
I am too.
I'm too high to figure that out.
It checks out.
I read it.
I thought it was like, oh, is Andy doing the podcast in Espanol now?
It looked a little Spanish.
No, it's just backwards.
It's just backwards.
That was with Brendan and I.
It was about Up and Smoke.
Oh, you did Up and Smoke?
Yeah.
I don't know if you guys have had a chance to listen to it yet.
But it's pretty good.
I had never seen that movie before and I really enjoyed it.
It was a great stoner movie, which I think...
That's the first Cheech and Chong movie.
That is the first...
No, it's the first movie in which Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong star together in a movie.
That's how they meet.
You pick them up.
He ties his shirt up.
But as Pedro and Man, the first Cheech and Chong movie is the next one.
Cheech and Chong's next movie where they play Cheech and Chong.
And then from then on out, they're Cheech and Chong.
So yes, the first Cheech and Chong is Up and Smoke, but it's not.
They're not.
Cheech and Chong.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen the movie called AKA Tommy Chong?
No.
It's a documentary about how the government arrested Tommy Chong.
Oh, the whole thing.
On some bullshit.
He had his own glass company.
His son was running it.
This guy that was an agent was like, hey, man, I know I live in this state where you
can't ship a bomb or sell a bomb to me, but please, man, come on.
They're just like fucking fine.
Whatever.
Here you go.
And then they just arrested Tommy Chong.
For mailing a piece of glass.
Yeah.
Tommy Chong recounted it so well in the documentary.
They were like...
He's like, I entered my door, man.
And there was a guy, a government guy.
He's like, get down to the ground.
Do you have any drugs on the premises?
He's like, yeah, man, I'm Tommy Chong.
Drugs everywhere.
That's great.
Yeah, man.
That's so great.
It was a really good story about how he was in, him being in jail and his trial and everything
led up to it, everything that happened after it.
And it was one of my favorite documentaries.
But his take on it's very interesting.
He's like, now fucking I broke the law.
It's like he literally, I've heard interviews with him.
He's like, nah, I fucking broke the law.
You know?
What about a ship to fucking bomb now?
Yeah, there's this guy with chainsaws out there.
Stupid law, yeah.
The Afro man, like maybe, I don't know how many years ago, but relatively recently, got
his house swatted and raided and they stole shit from him and all this stuff.
So he made a song about it.
The whole album.
It's an entire album.
But the music video I saw is the security footage.
Did you find anything behind my couch or something?
It just shows them looking behind his couch.
Yeah, so good.
So we were talking about Up and Smoke being a perfect little fun flashback of a stoner
movie.
I think it's a good segue into this week's movie, which is Smiley Face, 2007 starring
Anna Faris.
She's a sweet angel.
Anna Faris.
You will pronounce her name correctly.
And if they say it, we can put the song on it.
Oh my God.
Mike made it.
So we weren't able to do it because of, I'm so sorry Mike.
I remember you telling me to download it before coming at her.
So Mike has been making AI music, which I love.
It's been fun.
But he made one recently about Anna Faris and about this movie with AI pictures of her
and made it into a little music video.
And it is.
It's Innocence.
It's Innocent.
Yeah.
It's Innocent.
Hey, we do a podcast about movies.
This one's about Anna Faris and Smiley Face.
But if somebody like her agents or publicists, her herself watched it without context, you're
like, we need to get a restraining order against this man.
Absolutely.
What a creepy on its own piece of media that exists.
It is just out there on the internet.
Did you private that video?
No.
Alright.
So what's it called?
I think it's called Anna Faris Tribute from the Movie.
Yeah.
Anna Faris Tribute, Smiley Face 2007 by Michael Larson.
You will find this weirdest music video that's ever been made.
Oh yeah.
And Mike, your profile picture for your YouTube channel does not help you at all.
Oh, I know.
I know.
It's just like bad.
It's an up-flose.
That was really high.
He looks like an old man who's never seen the internet before.
Yeah.
Mike's happily married with children and grandchildren.
He's not a murderer.
He's not a John Lennon killer.
He's not a murderer.
He's been like that.
Well, that's what he has to be.
So Smiley Face, I had never seen...
Oh yeah.
No, I don't need to see it again.
That weird tweaker picture of Anna Faris.
So wait, did the AI actually let you type in her name and make a thing of her?
Yes.
That's like a big thing right now.
I didn't do any of that.
I'm starting to work with the AI now.
There's a big likeness thing right now.
There's this Dudezy podcast made a George Carlin special.
Oh yeah.
George Carlin, AI.
And his daughter or maybe his family member who controls his estate sued them so now they
have to scrub it from the internet.
That was true copyright infringement though.
They were saying this is his stuff and it was not.
No, no.
They said it was AI George Carlin.
It was an AI generated thing.
They just don't like it.
Right.
It was called AI George Carlin.
I listened to it and it was pretty good.
I liked it.
It was decent for what AI can normally write.
But they were doing it as his persona I'm saying versus doing it like they used his voice
and all that versus doing it as a tribute or whatever.
They didn't do it as a parody because if it was a parody they couldn't do anything about
it.
It felt more like a science experiment.
They were like what if George Carlin was alive today what would he make jokes about and that's
what it was supposed to be.
I haven't been able to listen to it.
It's pretty good.
But for what AI can do.
Normally can do.
It's pretty good.
He talks about religion of course.
He talks about him being dead.
Isn't it weird I'm dead and I'm up here talking about religion.
That kind of stuff.
People would like to hear that.
Comedy fans would like to hear that.
But the even bigger bummer as opposed to not being able to hear that is I was saying this
for a long time.
I hope that AI gets so good that you could have AI make a movie exactly how you want
it.
Yeah.
I mean you could die hard but instead of Bruce Willis it's Keanu Reeves or something like
that.
I want that to be a thing but now with all this likeness shit it's going to be harder
to do that stuff.
Because here's the problem.
Is that you can't pay the actors right.
I mean so.
Well that's in the new contract thing is supposedly.
If there was a future in which we could type into AI give me this movie but with these actors
or whatever I could see some sort of service you'd have to pay.
So like maybe you can rent the likeness of Keanu Reeves for a month for a monthly fee
and now you can use you can put AI into your own AI projects.
And then you just have to buy likenesses or rent likenesses to use.
So that way.
Very expensive.
But then think about Keanu Reeves.
Every time somebody wants to see him in Die Hard he makes 20 bucks or 40 bucks or whatever.
That's the thing I would want to make is like make a Die Hard movie but the way I want it.
Not just change the actor in this same exact movie.
I want a Die Hard movie where John McClane stops 9-11.
Okay but you can do that now because that's a parody.
Yeah but I wanted a full length two hour movie.
No I get it.
It doesn't have to be great quality.
But it has to be like a show band that's good.
But you can do that now.
I'm saying there's nothing that stops that.
The likeness things don't stop that.
See but the likeness things stop as you're trying to pass off.
Remember when this AI thing was like a big deal and then this show was like oh the rock
eating rocks.
And it's just like this nightmare fuel just like I'm not even solid.
I mean it's come a long way and I feel like people are getting too scared and they're
kind of being like don't let people do that anymore kind of thing.
And now it's like well okay well I get that but you're kind of preventing a bunch of awesome
shit at the same time.
But you're also preventing some nefarious shit that could happen.
I mean they can do porn with it.
They could do.
Well so here so there's a YouTuber named.
You can affect people.
There's a YouTuber named Sweet Anita.
She has Tourette's.
She's a gamer on Twitch.
And she's attractive.
Right.
She's cute.
And someone made very convincing deep fake porn of her.
Where she's like masturbating.
Like trying to sell it like she actually did it or just like oh I like her so much.
No like Sweet Anita came out with new porn.
Here it is.
A lot of people thought it was real.
And she is super upset about it of course.
And so she's making she's helping like at least on the content creator side she's like
because think about it.
You have hours and hours and hours and hours of footage.
Like right now someone could theoretically take my voice and make a convincing podcast
of me doing talking whatever because they have hours of me talking.
Not you but somebody else.
No they could make they seriously could make an ad that you would not be able to tell of
Andy doing.
Well no what I'm saying is that we talked about doing making AI make a podcast of us
and like make an episode of us reviewing you know fucking yeah American History X or something.
That would be great.
And that would be great for us to use it for but not if someone else uses it to say do
a podcast of them trying to create the next Holocaust.
Yeah so see that's the problem is that someone else then can do that and then they just say
gnarly shit.
Yeah.
I got some.
Do you have some in there?
Yeah.
No someone named Barb just sent a photo and enjoyed with a thumbs up.
So I'm sure she was from the show.
I mean I don't remember someone introducing.
Name Barb.
Maybe they.
Thanks Barb.
Shout out to Barb.
Let's see if I recognize her.
Let's see.
Barb.
No I think it's her.
You think I have the internet to pull up a picture.
Okay.
For what I can see right now it's an American flag with a star.
Okay.
An extra star added and I don't know if that's the like star of David or the star of whatever
but let's oh real quick so since we were talking about something AI they basically I mean I
don't know if this is confirmation confirmation but James Gates a professor recently kind
of proved that we are in a matrix and the way that he did it was by discovering these
and dinked our codes which are at the hadron hadron super collider they're finding these
little particles that when you 3d print them they are become these code their code that
fixes other code.
So basically I guess it's showing that on a on a molecular level we have self correcting
code that's built into the universe which is basically like matrix shit.
Sounds like it's just the laws of physics or something.
Well no but if it's if you go down to the.
I'm not trying to shoot down.
No no but what I'm saying is if you go down to the atomic level and you find something
that when you print it it's a the same thing that we have in our codes on computers and
shit and it's built for a reason then that leads me to believe that this is a simulation.
Now I don't think if this is a simulation I'll put this out there I don't think that
we are plugged in on the other side.
I don't think this is matrix where we're physical husks existing somewhere else I think we're
NPCs I mean if we're gonna be if I'm gonna be honest I think you're all NPCs and if from
your own perspective you'd have to think that you're the same thing because not not not
that I am but that you would be from your own perspective.
I have something to say when you're done but go on.
Oh I mean I'm trying to done but I was gonna say.
It's just a science skit.
Just kind of seems like a reverse version of like seeing like a physical motion of something
mechanical and then thinking it's like the natural world like when you see pistons like
moving you're like oh it's like fucking like it just seems like a smart guy version of
that it's like.
No no no because okay I guess what I'm saying it's almost like binary code if you think
about it like binary code somehow.
Zeroes and ones how it does it's amazing.
Zeroes and ones somehow is all this what my computer is doing right now.
All of it.
Somehow we tapped into the universal tech language to take zeros and ones a binary and
the crazy thing is binary existed long before we were ever around like we didn't invent
binary.
That's the real thing right.
I mean like think about it.
Zeroes and ones make up everything.
What's your coding of your even your DNA is coded in binary.
So it's interesting really that.
We're made of binary code.
This dude's finding on a molecular level things that are code.
He's just finding little pieces of code that if you made it three of you become code.
I don't think that that's the same as like you know pistons and fucking.
Again I think it's more like I don't know I think it's because I've already said almost
like an ant farm though that almost like okay you put these instructions in and let it go
and see what happens.
That's why I don't think it's that complex.
I think if anything we're probably I mean I've said like I think we're like probably
like a live wallpaper on someone's phone right.
They're checking the time.
I think we're all just corrupted files at this point.
Well no that's what our AI is though our AI is literally just takes everything and matches
it together and matches it together and matches it together.
After seeing some of the unreal.
Hundreds of millions of times in speed the speed computers can work at now and comes
out like a picture that you see on AI.
It's not really a picture.
It's just zeros and ones randomly.
It's the most common thing strung together to get to match those letters and that you
put in.
It's not.
Well.
It's also why it's different every time.
But I do want to point that out.
We're all in the simulation.
Just deal with it.
Whatever religion you're part of I guess just hold on to maybe the faith that our creator
is the one running the simulation.
Then you pick the right one.
And then also.
You fall a certain amount of time.
But all those other people pick the wrong one.
Everything.
It's all the right one.
Everything that you think say and do is also documented in that case.
Yeah.
If it's all simulation every thought you have.
You're at the grocery store.
You see some chick with some tits and you're just like damn she got some fucking nice milk.
That's all documented.
All documented.
There's a script somewhere.
Remember that file cabinet in Bruce Almighty where he opens it.
Yeah that's there.
But see you're thinking of it like sure it's all recorded and maybe there's a ton of.
I think it's more like.
No if you play a game you can go back and watch it.
I think it's more like The Sims 4.
Maybe like the thing you like The Sims 1000.
Right.
We like the SIF.
Someone made The Sims.
A thousand years from now.
The amount of.
Look at where we were two thousand years ago.
Right.
Technology wise.
Look where we're at now.
Look where we're at in the last hundred years.
Don't dash my dreams.
If I die and I want to look at a crystal ball of my life so I can see that Kilimanjaro I
got on Halo 3.
OK.
I just I.
You know I didn't hit record.
I didn't have it recorded.
You know don't take that away from me.
Don't don't explain that away from me.
I want to go back and look at all the cool.
How cute.
I didn't have it recorded.
A simulation playing another simulation.
Just like we make our Sims.
What's really crazy is if you play The Sims you're a simulation playing a simulation about
a Sim and if you make him play games he's playing a simulated version of Sims.
When I used I already talked about this once I'm looking into it again but I've been I've
abused my A.I. making it do stuff like way to outshine my meat brain thought with your
very like.
Well sorry I just I thought about the kinder codes today and I just said what was the movie.
Yes.
Smiley face 20 2007 opening with a conversation with Rosco Lee Brown who I'm sure you're more
familiar with than we are because I've seen him in a few things.
I looked him up on IDB.
I didn't really do much research on this movie because I just love.
I just enjoy the experience.
I actually did some if you could hand me a beer out of that fridge from my hotel room
fridge.
Yeah.
I'm staying in the hotel room after the comedy show because none of the other comedians really
want they got families but apparently I'm a fucking loser so I'll take the free hotel
room and I'll crash here tonight and I'll drink.
Ladies from two or three weeks from now if you're in the area.
I get free hotel rooms.
Yeah.
So this is a movie about on affairs playing a lovable ish stoner getting higher than she's
ever been in her life and getting into shenanigans.
We've seen it before in other movies but not quite like this.
She so it opens with her on a Ferris wheel which coincidence on a Ferris on a Ferris
wheel.
Now here's the quick because I even mentioned Ferris wheel I sort of set myself up for this.
Do you know where the Ferris wheel came from.
On a Ferris.
Can somebody open this beer for me please.
Yeah.
Oh no.
I don't know if I have a lighter on me.
Shit.
Yes.
I have a lighter on me.
Just for that I'm going to go outside to fart now.
Is this a fucking twist off?
Would you open this twist off for me?
It was not.
So 1893 Chicago it's the World's Fair.
Now about seven years previous Paris had the World's Fair and what they debuted at the
at that World's Fair was the Eiffel Tower.
It was a huge hit and everyone's talked about it and talked about it and talked about it
and still are still huge right.
Can I guess what happens next.
Someone unveiled the Ferris wheel and everyone's like fuck the Eiffel Tower.
Sort of.
Ferris wheels lit.
I just told you the expression.
Don't steal my thunder on this one Austin.
So the commission for the 1893 Chicago's World's Fair was trying to come up with their own
Eiffel Tower type thing and they interview everybody around all these famous architects
and eventually they interview even Eiffel himself and he proposes this design for them
and it's another Eiffel Tower and they're like maybe but then meanwhile there's a guy
named George Ferris and he comes up to me he's like I've got this idea.
I need the finances to do it.
It's a strange one but I'm thinking of a building that moves when you're in it in a circle and
they're like that's fucking crazy George.
We're probably just going to do another Eiffel Tower.
People loved it in Paris.
Then I guess better heads prevailed or I think maybe Eiffel bailed out or whatever didn't
happen and so Ferris gets the go ahead.
He builds the Eiffel Tower.
It's sorry he builds the Ferris wheel.
It's the very first Ferris wheel.
It gets ridden over one million times in the course of the Chicago's World's Fair because
the World's Fair is visited by so many people and it was the most like viewed attraction.
I think he said that like a million people rode it.
Yeah.
Okay.
You say a million times like I feel like it went on a full cycle one million times.
No sorry a million people at least a million people rode it.
Yes.
Which is crazy for the time.
This was the same World's Fair by the way.
I was going to ask that.
Is it the same one?
Well yes but it also went well.
Okay yeah.
And there's a few things.
Yeah.
One it's the debut of Cracker Jack.
Really?
The company.
The peanut popcorn mix.
I think I ate those once.
It's also the most notorious serial killer that's ever lived in America.
His entire spree went on through that World's Fair.
Have you heard of the devil in the white city?
H.H.
Holmes.
Oh wait.
H.H. Holmes built a murder hotel in his oh you don't even have to look it up.
No no no I just want to see if my favorite YouTuber Simon Whistler has done a video on
it.
H.H. Holmes built a murder hotel that had like rooms that he could gas people through.
Rooms that he could do whatever.
He had a furnace in the.
Oh he pretended to be like a doctor or something?
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
So they said that anywhere from like hundreds to maybe thousands of young women because
he would be like he would find a young woman traveling alone and be like hey I've got
a hotel room I'll let you stay for free you know.
No traveler should be alone at the night.
And then boom.
Hey that's not sketchy at all alright.
Well it's the.
What are you trying to say?
1893.
What are you trying to say?
Are my organs going to get harvested tonight?
Is that what you're trying to say?
A free hotel room?
Is that how you're immortal?
Is that how you're immortal Mike?
He harvests his limbo isn't he?
None of these movies were out there so nobody knew what happened.
Anyway they said for years that they're going to do a Martin Scorsese Leonardo DiCaprio led
version of a movie of that.
Which I think would be wonderful.
Oh Leo in that part of the movie.
You know what's even crazier about the World's Fair in Chicago in 1893.
It's the alabaster city.
Every single exhibit in there was painted this alabaster white.
So when you went onto the fairgrounds which was this massive thing it was this bright
shining like white everywhere like kind of thing with the Ferris wheel in like the middle.
Here's one more thing.
How did the World's Fair connect to A.K.
Holmes?
He just did it.
So he had a hotel in Chicago right next to the World's Fair.
And so what he did is when this happened.
Sounds like a fire sale for him.
It was like great for him.
He planned for it.
When he heard the thing was happening he put his money into building the hotel like getting
it all whatever.
Or he did it himself.
Whatever he had to do.
Like he had looking glass like it was like the creepy kind of shit you'd see in movies.
And also how am I building this trap door?
Oh it's for laundry dude.
He might have even killed some of the workers.
That might have even been a thing.
Like honestly he's a fucking psychopath.
And then there's a cop that's chasing him the whole time.
I've read the book The Devil in the White City.
That's where I get all this information.
So that's my source of history.
I'm hoping that the guy that wrote an entire book about it did his own work and decided
to not embellish too much so that I actually have a pretty good view of the history.
You're sure it's a history book.
Oh yeah.
The Ferris wheel exists.
These are all real facts.
And I've looked up the individual things since.
I've looked up George Ferris and I've looked up H.H. Holmes.
I'm going to send you the casual criminalist YouTube video of that and just see if anything
matches up with it.
With what you know versus what he might have.
It's like two hours long.
Sure.
I mean if it's two hours long and it's focusing just on H.H. Holmes and it's just facts.
I'm sure I will learn maybe even contradict maybe whatever that I already know.
I get that.
He doesn't need our shout out.
He's such a big channel.
He has like eight different channels about so many different things.
But just for love like yeah casual criminalist if you love that serial killer shit and want
like really good detailed stuff on it.
Plus he also has like personal takes like on it like where the fuck are the books.
Like he's a British guy so he's like where the fuck are the police.
Like what the fuck.
Yeah how do you not kill somebody who kills that many people.
But it's also mostly serious.
But like something gets gnarly.
What the fuck.
Speaking of where the fuck are the police.
Remind me of that in just one second because I need to finish this thought because I'm
autistic.
But there's one.
Sorry.
Buffalo Bill.
Wild Buffalo Bill.
The famous cowboy frontiersman.
That's American Psycho right?
Or no?
No well they named the killer after Buffalo Bill.
But Buffalo Bill.
Wild Bill.
No sorry.
Wild Bill Hitchcock.
Not Hickok.
Not Buffalo Bill.
Wild Bill Hickok had a traveling cowboy show where he would fight Indians and do horse
stuff and all sorts of stuff right.
There was a 50% or 25 or 30.
It was like a high ass percent of tax if you went at the Chicago's World's Fair to be at
one of the events.
He opened up I think three or four hundred feet outside the grounds of the thing.
You have to keep 100% of the profits and add the most successful run he's ever had because
of course people are going to go to the show.
Taking advantage.
And he took complete advantage of it and then he took his show.
He opened up multiple wild bills and stuff like.
But okay why aren't the police there?
Look at Pulp Fiction.
And I like the theory that in Pulp Fiction the reason that the police never show up is
because you know how some of Tarantino movies, all the Tarantino movies connect.
But we don't know what's a movie that the characters that are in the Tarantino movies
are watching or what's a real historical fact.
So I'm pretty sure Inglourious Basterds is real and Pulp Fiction is real.
And I think the reason that I think this is because they made the condition.
You were saying a character could go in the universe could go watch Inglourious Basterds
or Django or something.
The characters would go in and watch Django.
And I think Hateful Eight was real.
I think Hateful Eight real, Inglourious Basterds real, Django's a movie, Reservoir Dogs might
be a movie.
I think I don't think you want to say Inglourious Basterds was a movie.
No.
And that because then if.
But he's confirmed that.
That's like the oldest timey movie.
Well besides Django, Hateful Eight yeah.
But then you would be saying that like oh so if the Holocaust never really happened then
you know it doesn't matter the world's still the same.
Which might be a problem.
First off I've been to France they don't call it a Royale with cheese.
So that's already a parallel universe.
Secondly and that might have been a 90's thing.
But I've been there and it's not called that.
I literally went there to get a Royale with cheese to fill myself eating a Royale with
cheese.
No no I looked at the menu and it's not called that.
Oh but you didn't ask them.
It would be great to walk in and ask them.
You mean they quote a pound of.
Exactly.
What the fuck.
Well they have different math but yeah.
So if you take that.
So Tarantino himself said.
What did they really call it though?
I forgot.
We're discussing the real issues here.
The important part of this is what it's actually called.
I wrote it down in my little travel notebook.
But he Tarantino himself confirmed that one of the characters in Inglorious Basterds is
related to one of the characters in Pulp Fiction.
Is his grandfather.
That's all he let out.
Like he said that.
He confirmed that.
Because he's confirmed that his movies take place in the same things.
But if you assume that Inglorious Basterds really did happen.
Instead of Hitler killing himself in a bunker via suicide.
Hitler got super publicly extra murdered along with a bunch of Nazis.
That would have made front page news.
That would have sensationalized hyper violence to the point that if you flash forward to
the 90's people walking around and just shooting each other in the street would not elicit
the same amount of panic that it would in a world that we live in today.
Because since Hitler went and got fucking destroyed.
Extra publicly murdered.
You got to assume that since then people have just been extra violent.
Ultra violent you can say.
That's an ultra violent world.
So Tarantino's world is an ultra violent parallel universe.
Like a Resident Evil because Resident Evil is like a Bizarro world kind of thing.
Yeah Resident Evil is if.
What are we watching right now?
Smiley face.
No not the movie from this week.
The show we're watching on.
Oh Fallout dude.
The Fallout world.
The Fallout world is a different world but similar.
You probably already binged it if you haven't you need to you fucking loser.
I haven't watched it all.
It's fantastic.
Fuck no I'm just kidding.
Oh but Andy did you hear Quentin Tarantino has scrapped the movie critic?
Scrapped what he means?
His tenth and final film.
He's like actually I'm going back to the drawing board.
That's not the final movie I want to make.
What was it called?
The movie critic?
It was called the movie critic originally.
I think that's all the information we got.
But I guess.
He scrapped it.
Which means that we're going to get something really really good and it's going to mean
a lot to Quentin Tarantino.
You have to go in knowing that and not be like oh well it's not Nazis or slavery or
Leonardo DiCaprio saying the N word.
Who knows?
Wait I've never.
But who goes into a Tarantino movie like that?
I go into a Quentin Tarantino movie.
I want a bunch of very subtle nice scenes followed by a shocking ultra violent scene.
You don't even want subtle nice scenes.
What you need is quick talking people making a shit load of references to Kung Fu, 50's
pop culture, 80's pop culture and a bunch of shit we'll never know.
Then ultra violence.
Kicked up with.
And then some humor.
That's Tarantino.
And then the N word.
A lot of the N word.
I loved Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
But if you had Brad Pitt beating the shit out of Bruce Lee.
So I think he wants to go back and be a little more subtle like this is a Quentin Tarantino
movie.
Subtle?
No.
What?
Subtle?
No no no.
Calculated like there's a bunch of parts where there's not a whole lot going.
It's a lot of talking.
And then there's just a few minutes of fucking awesomeness.
Is what I mean.
Just take it down.
He once said.
I'm not an intellectual.
He said he was going to do a rated R Star Trek movie.
And that would have been the best thing in the world.
Maybe he'll work on.
I hope that Star Trek, Gene Roddenberry's estate or whoever's in charge of it right
now.
I hope that they just if Tarantino passes let James Gunn make a fucking rated R. Let
someone who's good at making good rated R content make a.
The guy who did the equalizer.
Fuck it.
Have him do a one.
I don't care what the tone they set is.
I don't care if they go lower decks and it's like a it's a funnier harder comedy one and
I would be OK with that.
I think most people would prefer a more hardened action flick.
But we sort of already get that with the reboot trilogy.
Right.
The ones that are harder.
You know what though they just don't cuss.
But there's some pretty intense scenes and there's a lot of fighting.
I think this is that's about as rated R as that's going to get action wise without like
murder.
I'm notifying people.
I want I want them to do.
Earth bound stuff though.
Like I want them to do what do you do the Academy but make it real.
I want Sherlock Holmes rated R in space.
I want a detective from Starfleet going on a one man like no no not did not shock homes.
I want basically taken in a star race.
I want so I want a Liam Neeson type starch a Federation officer going on a hell bent
revenge.
After some like the Obi-Wan Kenobi series.
It is but I want him to but I want him to go against the Starfleet at some point like
but even the new Picard series is pretty dark.
You know like I haven't watched all the way through.
I've only seen a few episodes but it's that stuff too.
So the thing is is what I'm seeing is Star Trek's always dealt with heavy subject material.
Sure.
Here's what's crazy.
Since we just brought up Star Trek organically I watched that movie.
I started that movie all the maids in a row all the pretty maids in a row which we referenced
last week for some fucking reason it had it had rock.
Who's that guy's name famous rock Hudson Rock Hudson.
That rock Hudson hooking up with high school kids and look like from the from the trailer
whatever but it starred somebody that it starred the funny face chick from Up and Smoke which
I guess you guys weren't there for.
So that's a little bit whatever.
But I started it just to see what it's about.
It's not about a coach hooking up.
It's about a high school kid trying to get laid which is like almost any funny thing
directed by or at least produced by Gene Rodimary.
I just started up and it's like Gene Rodimary presents as there's a bunch of just like the
kids walking through high school and there's just a bunch of just focuses on titties like
no this is 1978 or whatever.
This is way post-Star Trek.
He just made a pervy film about a kid trying to hook up.
Gene Rodimary trying to get some trying to get some.
We're 47 minutes in and we have not talked about the movie.
I did say I liked the conversation with Roscoe Lee Brown and then somebody.
Me. me. got us off track.
So we've got like so she's on a Ferris wheel.
Oh that's it.
It was the Ferris wheel.
Yeah.
We figured it out.
Ferris wheel.
Okay.
I'll take over for a second.
It cuts into just her just like.
I love it.
I just love how that's how she looks so high throughout this movie.
Yeah she did.
So she doesn't doesn't she look like like I wouldn't say hot just she's hot as fuck.
She's hot as fuck but in a non sexualized way.
She's like oh my god I love her.
I want to be her best friend.
She's more girlfriend material than she is sex icon in this.
Yeah she's not sex bond at all.
It's very.
Yeah.
It's very.
Which makes the Brevin scene very funny.
I don't want to talk about that scene.
We're going to leave that scene out.
This is the only slightly derogatory thing related to Anna Ferris that I will ever say
because she's a sweet angel and I love her.
Are you listening Anna?
But she's married.
She's married I don't care about that.
But in any fuck marry kill situation no matter who you put as the other two she's always
married.
She's always married.
Always married.
Doesn't matter.
And here's the thing Anna if you are listening whoever Austin does have to fuck or kill just
know his heart's not in it because he's going to come home to you he's going to be happy
to marry you.
He'll treat you right.
So y'all are worried about my song.
I read it.
Oh I'm not Brevin.
I'm not John.
I read an article where she said that when she was married to her husband she then worked
with Chris Pratt and while she was still married to her husband she just wanted to fuck Chris
Pratt.
She was so jealous that he was fucking background actresses and then she she told her husband
about it.
He thought it was just a passing thing.
She's like nope and she leaves him and then she's so she said the first night her and
Chris Pratt fucked it was amazing.
It was the best fucking she's ever done.
She told that interview she did.
She's so there's a little bit for you.
Yeah go go go Anna Farris.
Also go Chris Pratt.
Yeah go Chris Pratt.
The story I understand is that he was living in a van in Hawaii just surfing and then someone
told him you should act and then he went and did it and now he's fucking Star Lord.
So I mean although as much as I love Chris Pratt and I do he doesn't need to be the voice
of everything.
He doesn't need to be Mario and Garfield this closely behind each other.
I was okay with Mario.
You did a good job with Mario Chris.
Are you listening Chris?
Good for you about the Anna Farris.
Anna Farris thing.
She wanted to fuck the shit out of you.
But if you're also listening love just Mario.
Also Andy Dwyer.
Andy Dwyer is my spirit animal.
Oh I love Andy Dwyer.
Good name.
Loveable goofy guy.
Less autism than I think.
While we're here Bill Murray too did a good Garfield honestly.
That was a decent choice.
I feel bad for him because he sort of got tricked into Garfield.
Even though you also are not telling us about this secret cell phone thing which I'll let
Andy take it from here.
Are you talking about the man who knew too little?
Yeah he had an iPhone or something.
Dude if you guys watch the man that knew too little which probably came out in 1998 or
95 maybe even 1984 he straight up pulls out an iPhone, opens up Uber and gets Ubered somewhere
and then he orders Door Dash and someone delivers it to him.
It's such an anachronism that it's insane.
You have to go look it up.
I might be embellishing a bit but I swear to God that guy pulls out a fucking his brother
says here take my cell phone hands him a non-slip phone just a perfect little Motorola razor.
You said I got this big brick on my ear.
Yeah.
Bill Murray got that secret take out.
Anyways a little bit of lore before this movie.
The director, producer Greg Akai I think is his name.
Right before this he made a movie that was like heavily about like child molestation
and like just gnarly shit.
And then they were like why did you make this?
After that crazy shit I just wanted to make something happy.
Yeah.
So this is a product of pure just like let's be bright and funny and happy and fun you
know.
And it totally comes, it's called fucking smiley face for God's sake.
Call it smiley and you know actually there's a piece of trivia since we don't have internet
I looked it up on the IMDB's is that there's no title card for the movie.
Is it just the time she puts it in the clouds?
There is that Adobe flash intro that we saw.
Oh yeah.
But there's no like words that say smiley face.
In the beginning and at the end of the credits there's just a smiley face.
A smiley face right.
And also what fucking game is she playing in the beginning?
What game is that I put?
Is it zoo sims?
That's the best I could come up with in my fucking brain.
No it was too complex.
It had too much, I think it was a game made for the show.
It wasn't.
And one more problematic thing to bring up is that her roommate Danny Masterson.
Isn't it funny now that Danny Masterson is called a creep and scary in this is what I
put in hindsight.
It's very funny that he'd be fucking skulls and shit because Danny Masterson's a pervert.
I have ideas floating around in my head for a sequel to this movie.
Where it's her living in the modern day and she's been sober ever since the end of this
movie.
Okay.
So how do we write out her roommate Steve was actually killing the people for the skulls
that he was fucking.
So that's how they write him, he's in jail.
Brevin I'm not sure where to go with him but it's like she's normal.
She's like normal Anna Faris.
Like happy, like she's not stoner anymore.
And she's just been sober for a while.
Something happens, maybe a kid maybe not, but she just like something happens she has
to go get a job and she's having trouble because she gets arrested at the end of the movie
and like all that and that's preventing her from getting a job.
And she's like been at home all the time.
She doesn't go out because that crazy experience has just kept her at home.
And now she's going back out into the world.
She hasn't kept in touch with anything or anyone and weed's legal now.
She was all worried about getting busted and cheated and now there's dispensaries.
There's people just smoking weed out there.
It's all in your face.
And then at some point she is brought down, she goes to maybe a bunch of different shit
like crazy and then she just finally decides to smoke weed and we're right back to fucking
smiley face fucking Anna Faris.
And she just fucked and we just go through all the same shit again.
And at the end she's back in prison again.
Yeah.
And at some point she needs Brevin's help again and we pray that John Krasinski accepts
this role to be that guy just one more time.
I mean he's Mr. Fantastic now.
He'd have to do another jerking off in the shower scene.
Oh yeah.
There's got to be a reference.
I mean did you see SLC Punk and then the sequel to SLC Punk?
No.
Okay.
Well they kind of did it right.
An old cult classic movie getting remade.
Like Boonock Saints and then Boonock Saints 2.
I feel like smiley face deserves that for being what it is.
Yeah.
So she...
I took way too much audio time.
I'm sorry.
No.
You're fine.
No.
What the fuck?
I just love this fucking movie so goddamn much.
Yeah.
You turned me on to it.
I wrote a bunch of notes.
So she, Steve, her roommate played by Danny Masterson tells her very creepy, it puts a
bunch of notes everywhere, do not eat these cupcakes.
They're for an event later.
Pay the electricity bill.
It's going to go off if you don't.
And so she makes her list of things to do, which I love her list, her ongoing list of
things to do that kind of changes and it doesn't really have an order.
And she eats and she smokes some weed and then eats all the cupcakes and those cupcakes
are loaded with weed.
Which goes, lends to your idea that he is killing people, drugging people against their
will because she said she's never seen him get high ever.
We don't have to go into detail.
It's just like he killed chicks.
Like he...
Oh no, but I think that if, you got to think why does he have 13, 14 just drugged up cupcakes
if he doesn't get high himself.
So and she gets really fucking high.
She's small.
Yeah, she could just be like, walking around like, yeah, it turned out Steve was drugging
people with his cupcakes.
I got lucky.
I mean, a little bit of spoilers for happy death day, but it ends up being a poison cupcake,
which I kind of liked.
Have you ever seen that one?
Happy death day and then happy death day to you.
It's one of the best, you know how, you know me, you know I like me some time loop and
time travel.
And this is one of the best, one of the more creative and best interpretations of the time
loop genre I've ever seen.
It's girl repeats the same day every time she, but she dies every time she wakes up.
So it's like that episode of Supernatural.
I mean it's there's 20 seasons Supernatural.
I've never seen any of them.
The one where the one brother has to win.
It's like Groundhog Day, but his brother dies at the end.
He's like, I tried to save you so many times.
I have to keep...
I'll watch that.
Did you see Russian Doll?
No.
But that's also another one.
HBO series and HBO series and it's good.
That's on my list.
It's a time travel.
Same amazing time travel day.
I've only seen two episodes of Supernatural that I remember.
It's the one where his brother keeps dying over and over again.
He has to keep reliving it and repeating it.
And then the one where they like travel through TV land or whatever.
Oh, that sounds cool.
They go to like Scooby Doo.
I think they go to their own show.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, it's like a multiverse kind of thing.
See Supernatural is on my list, honestly, to get into.
The only reason I don't want to is because of all the filler episodes.
I think it's...
You're trying to get me to watch every episode of Entourage.
Yeah, but that...
No, but none of every episode is actually important to me.
None of them are filler and there's not 26 episodes a season.
I feel like there's only...
No, there's only 12 for 12 seasons.
No, it's like Breaking Bad just not as much...
Breaking Bad only has one bottle episode and that's The Fly.
And Entourage is just not a lot of murder, death, meth selling or making.
There's a lot of cool shit that happens in Entourage.
Trust me, you'll like Entourage.
Everyone shits on it because the way they shit on it is they always go like, oh, it's
degrading to women.
Oh, it's not very well written.
Oh, whatever.
We live on the fucking West Coast and a bunch of hipsters drinking special fucking coffee
say that it's fucking...
There are a bunch of guys from New York.
It's based around Mark Wahlberg and his life.
But there's some genuinely dramatic moments.
You can also just sit there and be like, man, wouldn't it be fucking awesome?
Me and all my boys were rich and famous.
This is how we would live.
This is exactly how we would all live as guys.
But then there's also dramatic moments.
Bad shit happens to him.
It's not all fucking yours.
That's what Eric is for, all the drama stuff.
Yeah.
Who also in the show dates Anna Faris herself.
That's right.
He does date Anna.
He becomes her agent or producer.
Not a producer.
Something like that.
Her agent, I think.
And then they date.
I think maybe they just date.
But she is great, but it's also hard to see or be serious because you just...
She's so fun.
She plays herself pretty well because they have a meet-cute where they get into a little
car accident.
And then she gets out and they're a little mad, but then, are you Anna Faris?
And she's like, yeah.
But it's a cute little...
Oh my God.
Who wouldn't want to be the guy?
And then it's Anna Faris.
And then also, what's her name?
She plays the daughter from Sopranos and she dates Turtle.
Yes.
Jane Lynn Sigler.
Yes.
She dates Turtle, which...
Turtle.
Good for him.
Look, we don't want to ruin this for you.
No, that's fine.
Yeah.
Entourage is going to be...
No, honestly, we're not.
We're not at all.
By the way, the reason we were talking about Entourage is because we...
And this will come out later, but we're getting ready for a very special rice ball, which
is going to be the Entourage movie, but we're also going to heavily talk about the show
because Mike is going to be watching it for the first time right now.
And Austin and I...
I know that I've at least seen it probably two, three, maybe four or five times all the
way through.
Yeah, same here.
And I've bought whatever seasons I can.
Whenever I see them at Goodwill, I bought one.
I may have bought two of the seasons...
One of the seasons twice.
So I will just give you that, Mike.
Your gift from him.
I'm sure it's available somewhere on one of those services.
I think it's on Amazon right now.
Yeah, that's fine.
I have all of them.
But we're going to do that.
So just look forward to that.
Just bear through it, Mike.
It gets better and better with each season.
It does.
Oh, dude, and you're going to love Ari Gold.
No, I know Ari Gold.
I know some of the stuff from you.
You've seen memes and the different stuff.
Dude, when he goes and shoots up the agency and shit?
Yeah.
Okay, we'll save it for the rice ball.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For the five hour long rice ball.
So she eats all the cupcakes.
Then she realizes, oh shit, I have to make new cupcakes.
Which is very funny.
Very funny scene where she puts the butter... that butter in that pan looks so good.
And then she threw the wheat in and started stirring it like, oh, this is great.
And then the dumbest mistake she makes in the whole movie is she turns around to answer
her phone and stays turned around the whole time while answering it.
And then turns around while her butter shit's burning, throws the phone into it, fucks all
that up.
But then she has to call Adrian Brody's character.
And I put Adrian Brody in that hair.
I love it.
Adrian Brody.
No, Adrian Brody.
Is that my wrong?
Or is Adrian Brody the guy from The Jacket and Predators?
Wait, Adrian Brody, that's her dealer, right?
Yeah.
The new metal looking like...
The Rastafarian hair.
Is that Adrian Brody?
It's Adrian Brody, yeah.
I think it is.
Wait, did you guys see King Kong, the Jack Black one?
That's Adrian Brody?
Is that Adrian Brody?
Because this is the guy from the OC.
This is not having internet.
It's tough on us.
This is the guy from the OC.
We are disarmed.
One of those other...
Well, fuck it.
We're just going to have to move on.
Anyway.
If it's the same, the main guy character from the Jack Black King Kong, that's not Adrian
Brody?
It's the guy in this movie that might be Adrian Brody.
We're not sure.
This guy's name might be Brody something or Adrian something, but we'll figure it out.
You guys will figure it out.
That doesn't really matter.
Might be a rice ball to fix this episode, dude, without internet.
So after she wrote out her plan, I put her plan is perfect, no notes.
Her plan is perfect.
What a believable stoner movie so far.
She eats too much weed and is fucked up for the day.
That is something that I can absolutely fucking relate to.
I love the low high stakes of not paying Brody back.
Furniture and telling Steve on her.
It is high stakes, but she's not going to get...
You're going to kill me?
No, I'm not going to fucking kill you.
You're going to break my legs.
She also gets to a point where she has to go through a jewelry box and she could just
take that top part out and just scatters everything.
A lot of this is her from Scary Movie running away from ghosts.
There's a lot of that acting in here where she's so freaked out that she just...
And runs off and does something.
Did anyone else see the percentages on that?
12.2%.
That's what I wrote, right?
TAC.
And she's trying to charge people 200 bucks for what looks like a few grams of shake at 12.2%.
Stored in a sealed bag below 25 Celsius.
And I put, what's the Celsius for?
Is this non-American weed?
Why would they put it in Fahrenheit?
It's a German movie.
Is it really?
Yes.
Dual production, actually.
It also got nominated at Con on Film Festival.
Shout out to Greg Akai for making such a great movie.
Make a sequel, please.
She needs to get to Hempfest by 3 o'clock.
She needs to make her audition.
And she needs to get money for the electricity.
So she gets into her car, ready to leave.
And probably my favorite scene of the movie is her trying to back up.
The poster moving around.
The poster moving around, the devil pops up at the end perfectly.
Just a little...
It's subtle enough and then bam, you get the things moving, the devil.
The unnecessary roll when she got out of it.
And the slow roll out was just perfect.
Like how I set up the camera for this.
She just gets out of the slowest roll.
That's just great comedic.
She's so fucking comedically funny.
Like physically.
She's physically super funny.
You ready?
I'm also ready to cut this.
What?
This movie's basically slapstick.
Oh my God, Mike.
I know it's your fucking catchphrase and everything.
I'm going to overshadow this by saying...
But it is.
No, that's what the movie is.
They're making a new scary movie.
They're trying to make a new scary movie.
Start with all the original cast.
Hell yeah.
So even guys like, take my strong hand.
Like that guy.
I just saw the first 20 seconds of the trailer for...
If it doesn't have Anna Faris and Simon Rex in it, I'm not watching it.
I'm sorry.
Oh, we're talking about the scary movie.
The scary movie.
Yeah.
It's got to have Simon...
The one with Simon Rex where it was like making fun of signs and all that shit.
One of my favorites.
Okay.
And they pretty much all have Anna Faris in them.
And they're all great.
Yeah, she's great.
And then he went on and did like paranormal, the paranormal activity, spoofs.
But you don't see that shit anymore.
No, we don't.
Like airplane.
Yeah, no.
RIP Leslie Nielsen.
The spoof movie genre has kind of died down.
And I think a new scary movie would do well because people are kind of missing it.
I think they want that funny, that funny like...
I'm wondering if it's either retracted on purpose.
Michael?
You tried not to say it.
I could see you thinking it and you didn't want to say it.
I hate saying the word slapstick in the same room.
You will never say the spring of slapstick.
So then she gets on the bus and I love that she talks to Brian Poussain.
Is that his name?
Yeah, Brian Poussain.
Brian Poussain, yeah.
And he's funny.
But then it's the weird... it's Lewis from Suits.
You guys ever watch Suits?
I've seen Suits.
So in Suits there's this annoying, weasely, aggravating just dude who works there.
He's the guy on the bus playing the aggravating, weasely dude with the sun.
Oh, that guy.
I know I've seen him around.
I was like, that's funny.
She's a bad stoner though.
I'll give you that.
She's... I know that she's incredibly high.
But she's got no chill.
No chill whatsoever.
So... oh, I think he's going to the bathroom.
I could have paused it.
I'll pause it.
Just pause and we'll...
The bathroom, the one with the bathroom attached to it.
It was also connected to this room.
It was.
We have a door leading to the bathroom.
Wait, is Mike using the restroom now?
Oh, for fuck's sake.
I'm going to pause it again.
You know what?
I'm going to let it run.
I'm going to let the other...
Yeah, I don't know why you paused it for me.
You could have heard...
That would have been a fucking exchange, Andy.
Sorry, Mike.
You were not YesAndy-ing right now.
I wasn't.
Mike?
Yes?
What did you think of the Dean from Community being in this?
What did I think of?
He's peeing everybody right now.
I thought it was funny.
He had a small little part, but I liked Executive Jane Lynch.
Yeah, I was like, oh, you know, you skipped somebody.
You skipped somebody very important.
Oh.
When Anna Faris walks into the building for the first time, guess who calls her out?
Joey motherfucking Diaz, baby.
Yeah.
That's the...
Mike knows.
Mike?
Yeah, I hope you heard Mike go, yeah, like way far away.
Joey Diaz.
Joey motherfucking Diaz, baby.
Is he the one with the security guards?
That's coked out Joey Diaz.
Yeah, coked out Joey Diaz.
You know, he talks about being in Spider-Man 2, and he was all coked out that day.
Being an ass, he's like, hey, you want to go through him, you got to go through me.
That whole scene.
Oh, that's...
Yeah, he's like, that's the guy who says that.
Oh, that's funny.
And he goes into the time, he's like, yeah, I was fucking coked out that day, cocksucker.
Yeah, that's great.
So, she gets up there, she does her great audition.
Love it.
A little bit of inception there.
What do you mean?
An actress in a movie trying to be an actress doing an audition, who also has to be stoned
and like trying to do...
That's an actor.
She has to act as a stoner who's trying to act...
In any stoner movie, it doesn't get enough credit, basically.
It's like, oh yeah, she's trying to be an actor.
Do you realize all the different angles to this, right?
In this few seconds, you know?
And just so much can mean.
She's so good.
I hate it when Jane Lynch...
I bet Jane Lynch is such a nice lady.
But they always make her so mean.
Like, role models, she's so mean.
She's not mean on Hollywood Game Night.
Is she super nice, makes you want to be her friend nice?
Or is she just not mean?
She's just kind of normal.
She's just not mean.
She doesn't give off maternal vibes, she doesn't give off friendly vibes.
Kind of a big sis to the other contestants.
She gives off comedian vibes.
Good actress, lover.
She gives off comedian vibes.
I can't think of any other comedians that...
I feel like, yeah, comedians.
But I could see she'd be funny to hang out with, but you wouldn't want to tell her...
She'd roast the fuck out of those.
She wouldn't be there for you.
You wouldn't want to tell me your deepest, darkest secrets.
Who am I?
What am I going to do?
You ready?
No, I'm sorry.
You ready?
That's why we have this little room.
Actually, I actually could unload some drama on you guys.
For real.
Well, let's not.
Let's get back into this.
Yeah, wait until the case is closed.
So, she runs into the bathroom after she offered Jane Lynch some weed, which was great.
Which I still don't understand why she called the producer.
Who has stickers that say I heart LAPD?
That's funny.
But she calls a man who's by the jacuzzi or by a pool, which they cut to later on in the movie at the end, when it's showing everybody.
That guy, he went like, what?
And then that's it.
We don't see him again in the entire movie.
She goes to that bathroom and she flushes the government weed.
I thought that was the funniest scene because she's freaking out.
We almost glossed over that, but she's just like, that was one of the, there's like three really good parts to it.
Oh, I know.
I wrote it dumping the weed in the toilet scene.
But she's like, I'm shitting.
I'm shitting.
Hold on, I'm still shitting.
I'm still shitting.
And she's shitting.
Oh my God.
Just say occupied.
And the maid's like, I don't give a shit.
But she's like, you know, things are weird.
I'm still shitting.
Yeah.
I put the payphone.
What was the?
Oh, the payphone scene.
Is very funny.
Like when she calls her clarinet teacher.
Yeah.
I don't remember you.
I thought she's just freaking out.
She just thinks I'm a father.
Well, that's like the third one.
Her friend loaned her $350.
Oh, yeah.
The loaner's still waiting repayments.
Went on a trip to Tahoe together.
So good.
And then it came down to Brevin, which I was going to strongly equivalent to you, Andy.
But I think in this case, we're all Brevin because we all love on a phone.
That's true.
But clarinet lessons because she was depressed and thought it would rekindle old childhood
memories.
I love it.
What it says.
This movie also honestly is like perfect for this show because we also go on many tangents.
If you look at the title cards of the episodes that I create and match it up with the guy
making the title cards of Smiley Face, him and I were all the same feather flocks on
a feather, whatever, because there's a few where he just goes deep.
He just goes deep.
I love it because it's like too much and it's great.
Brevin Erickson.
Best love montage ever in a movie where he not the one where he's jerking off.
I'm talking about.
Well, no, it ends that way.
No, when they're sitting at the table to do with some nerd shit and then he sees her just
like snoring with some.
But like, honestly, it makes you think like, oh, he's weird.
Like what that's like supposed to appear unattractive.
It's like, honestly, yeah.
I did that.
It would be kind of cute.
Cute little snore.
Yeah.
She likes her chips.
She's having her chips and jam is on the couch and she doesn't care about sleeping.
Who cares?
I'm the open.
Yeah.
And then he just sees her four or five more times as well.
She's eating chips, being stoned out of her mind, just walking around with 10 love.
And he and of course I think they're making the joke that like he doesn't even know her.
He's in love with her just because she's hot.
That's all it really is.
Like I think that's the joke.
But honestly, yeah, I get it, man.
Does that scene in with him jerking off?
He jerks off in the shower thinking about beating her at like table hockey.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
You're feeding me.
So good.
She's naked.
He's not.
Which is just a weird little note.
That's that's Mr. Fantastic.
You see jerking off in the shower, which is another thing that makes me believe that the
sequel will never happen.
John Kaczynski would have to come back.
He's like, well, I'm kind of Mr. Fantastic now and like the best part of the office besides
Have you ever seen have you ever seen Ryan?
What's it called?
Jack Ryan?
Jack.
Jack Reacher.
No, no, Jack.
Right.
Do he plays?
He plays a CIA operative and he plays a serious role.
Yes.
And what is Mr. Fantastic?
No, no, no.
Jack Ryan is one of the coolest shows ever.
Yes.
He's right.
Right.
He plays a he's a numbers.
He's an ex-marine who did some badass stuff in combat back in the day.
But now he's a number cruncher for the CIA.
And when he finds the numbers that lead him to some Middle Eastern terrorist activities,
they send him overseas to kind of help with the operation.
And he totally gets fucking sucked in in such a cool way.
And then the next season is all about the Mexican cartel.
It starts out.
I haven't seen the third season.
It starts out as him being this number cruncher who slowly builds into this.
He becomes a badass.
A badass.
So it's like a positive Heisenberg in a way.
Well, well.
He's just a normal guy who gets into the numbers.
Nobody's not a normal guy.
There's like 30 of these books.
No, but he's the president in the books.
Have you ever heard of the movies Fear and Present Danger or Patriot Games?
I've heard of both.
Those Harrison Ford movies.
Air Force One?
No, that's actually Jack Ryan.
I've looked this up.
Is it not?
It's not.
That's the one that I've seen.
Okay, it's not?
But Fear and Present Danger, Patriot Games are Harrison Ford's take on Jack Ryan.
Then there's a Brendan or then there's a Ben Affleck version of Jack Ryan that came out, a movie.
And then they did a Chris Pine, two movies, I believe, where it's Jack Ryan.
I think they just called it Jack Ryan.
It's his younger days.
And now we have the Jack Ryan show.
So it's like a very, very, very expensive popular series that people have been making movies and TV shows about since the 80s or 70s or whatever, when it very came out.
It's like Jack Ryan goes from, and you follow him in the book series, from I think Marine all the way up to President of the United States.
And so it's very cool.
He does cool shit.
And John Krasinski's probably the best version of it.
And I'm including Harrison Ford.
Love him.
I think it's Prime, isn't it?
I'm not sure.
It's one of them.
I got all the things.
So this scene ends with Brevin jerking off in the biggest shower that I've ever seen, which I like.
So, so, okay.
I like to think it's a, it's a gym group shower type thing, which opens up some questions.
Okay.
One, is he doing sports and jerking off in the shower of a, like a public YMCA type thing or a tennis club?
If not, is that a personal shower?
Is he rich?
His car would leave me, believe me.
No.
We got to remember this is a German movie.
So maybe they just had, they just have better showers than us.
Maybe.
But this is take, this takes place in America.
They have Uber showers.
They go to Venice Beach.
So, but, but I said, so if he, if he is rich, then why is Danny Masterson's character not spending time at Bevin's big old house,
as opposed to Bevin coming over all the time and then all those other nerds watching movies at Danny Masterson's place?
So obviously he's not that, he doesn't have a lot of room for people or he's super reclusive or he's spent all his money.
Maybe him and Danny Masterson are in it together.
In what together?
Danny Masterson stuff.
Okay.
Yeah, they could have just had Danny Masterson.
Also, they were drugging the women.
Also, it's weird watching Jim from the office jerk off.
I will just put that there.
And treat wizards poorly.
They do a one second flash of Danny Masterson's character fucking a skull.
They do more of that later.
But at the first appearance, I was like, whoa, because the Adrian Brody's character, it's not Adrian Brody, not Adrian Brody's character.
Can I say something about Adrian Brody?
He's great in the jacket.
He was great in King Kong.
He looks a lot like the main character from Jaws.
So I always had this idea is like, what if Adrian Brody played one of that guy?
Because I'm pretty sure the actor is dead that played.
Sure.
But he had kids.
Maybe it's his dad.
No, no, no, no, no.
But if it is, that's gonna blow me away.
But that Adrian Brody should play one of those kids all grown up and the shark is still fucking alive.
Oh, and you just they wanted to revive Jaws.
You have to use Adrian Brody.
I would watch a reboot.
He was if you told me it's his son, I would totally believe it.
You think it back to it.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen the jacket?
Full metal jacket?
No, the jacket.
The jacket.
The Jackal, right?
With Bruce Willis, the one who tried to get voted on.
You guys all said I like the Jackal.
Just fine.
But Bruce Willis looks weird in a blonde wig.
But no, I'm talking about The Jacket, which is a weird movie with I think Natalie Portman or Keira Knightley.
Because they're the same person in my mind.
It's like it sounds like it's starting to get real close to like Sisterhood of Traveling Pants.
Not in the slightest.
The Jacket with Natalie Portman.
It's this guy, Adrian Brody's character, the one that we're actually thinking of, the guy from King Kong.
He goes to this mental institution, I think, to deal with his PTSD from war.
And part of the treatment is they put him in this morgue sort of slab, like the frozen locker thing, in a straight jacket.
And they leave him in there.
Like all sensory deprivation, can't move or whatever.
And because of that, he starts mentally going back in time.
And we don't know if he's reliving his memories or if he's physically actually traveling back to his younger self.
Because he's able to affect the future somehow.
It's just an interesting kind of dark psychological thriller movie in which Adrian Brody I think really does well.
And I also think he plays the pianist in which he won an Oscar for.
Did I pronounce that better?
Because it sounds like the penis.
I said it right.
Pianist.
No, it's the pianist.
Pianist.
That's how you say it.
That is, yeah.
Pianist.
I said it right.
I just clarified it.
No, you said it wrong trying to correct me.
Andy, your dryer is a character in this movie.
What the brrr?
Yeah, that brrr.
It sounds like, I felt like I was at your house again.
Because I was watching this movie for the podcast.
Whoa.
And also apparently the laundry room is in the parking lot.
That was another weird one.
The parking building.
I don't know.
You lived in Orange County, Andy.
Did you like, when you...
There was a lot of weird laundry situations in the places I lived.
Before you ended up here, where we live now.
When I lived down, there was a lot of, yeah, they would put laundry rooms wherever they
were going to put laundry rooms.
Well, yeah, the parking lot of a parking garage.
I don't know much about your lore, Andy, but of course at some point you moved out of your
folks' place.
I don't know if you moved around a lot or...
Since moving out of my folks' place, God, I'm...
In Orange County, right?
No, they didn't live in Orange County.
That's where I bounced around a lot, is Orange County, after I moved out of my parents' house.
Where was the parents' house at?
Inland Empire.
Okay.
Which, from your perspective, would be, it's a little hard to explain.
Did you ever go to the Inland invasion?
Yeah.
Nevermind.
You did.
2009.
From your perspective, it's Mesa.
2006.
I saw Weezer, Beck, Cake.
I saw Oasis.
I saw Travis Barker and DJ AM.
And then, who else was it?
Modus, no, Modus Yahoo, Arcade Fire.
And who else was there?
That was a pretty sick one.
I went to the 2006 one.
So I got to see Cypress Hill and Foo Fighters, Kid Rock, Kid Rock, or no, it was Dave Grohl
was a special guest.
He came out and he was like, whatever you think goes on in Kid Rock's dressing room
goes on in Kid Rock's dressing room.
That's funny.
I met Kat Von D, kind of, she was a bitch.
I saw Kat Von D, she hosted.
I was a little kid, and I was like, Kat Von D, come here!
And she just kept walking.
I was like, little kid's fucking, you're lucky a little kid knows who you are.
Son of a bitch.
I also got to see Smash Pumpkins there.
Also got to see Velvet Revolver, which is just Slash and those guys behind him.
That's cool.
When we went, Weezer, who was the main act, but even though there was like bands after him
and before him, they were just right in the middle, like the big one.
And they come out, they do their set, when they finish, they close up, everyone's yelling for an encore,
like the whole, everywhere, right on the field, everyone's.
So then the lead guy comes out, River Como, is that his name?
The lead singer, and he comes out and he goes,
So we put away all of our instruments, I'll do another song,
but does anyone out there know how to play any of our songs on the guitar?
And so they just pull a dude out of the pit, hand him a guitar,
he starts playing Island in the Sun, and River starts singing,
and then about, I don't know, quarter of the way through the song,
the curtains open up again, the whole band kicks in for the rest of the song.
That was just one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.
And this was before people were really taking cell phone videos, 2009,
you didn't really have good video quality, I think I took a few, but they sucked.
But, oh, we saw Live, the band Live.
I saw somebody, first time ever saw somebody smoke weed was during Cypress Hill concert.
I was a little kid, well you had floor seats.
For some reason, I was completely unsupervised, I saw Linkin Park in 2004.
How did you get floor seats? I was 10 years old, my mom had floor seats,
and I was on the floor by myself.
I ran to the front to see Linkin Park in 2004, at the height of their popularity.
And I was getting fucked up.
And this big, strong old Steve Austin guy picked me up and put me on his shoulders,
and it felt like I was commanding a tank. I was like, that guy, that guy.
Like, fucked up Ratatouille. That's so good.
When I went to go see Danzig and Lacuna Coil, which is a fun concert,
this dude, it was an inside venue, it was big, there's multiple stories that led off.
You'd have the pit, and then a half story up, there'd be the main sort of floor,
and then there'd be a balcony that also held probably a few hundred people,
and then another balcony.
One guy jumped off the balcony and landed on a chick and broke her neck.
Oh, shit.
And they had to like paramedic her out of there.
Wow.
He ran off. And here's the thing, what had happened, I didn't see it, I wasn't there.
I saw her get paramedic out of there.
But then as we were leaving, my buddy and I, this guy's just tweaking out,
he's like, man, I jumped off the fucking balcony, I landed on some chick, I broke her neck.
I was like, what? And you're just out here just running around?
And he was just right outside the venue.
He didn't even leave to stay there.
Just telling anybody who came by.
Okay, so if I was ever on the podcast, Are You Garbage?, I would just open with this
and be like, we don't have to ask me any questions, I'm garbage.
2006, we went to the K-Rock Weenie Roast, and it was like so many bands.
If I listened it off, people would get so jealous.
I saw Atreyu before they were famous.
They were playing on a not the main stage by the Porta Potties.
But me and my brother took turns pretending to be in a wheelchair so we could get orchestra seating.
I got to see him, AFI, Angels in Airways, Red Hot Chili Peppers, him,
which was a big thing at the time because I was a big Viva La Banda fan.
And oh dude, so many, so many, the whole time taking somebody's spot.
Wait, no, there's enough room.
There were empty seats I remember.
You think that Austin pretending to be in a wheelchair took somebody's seat?
No, I think that put him further back.
Also, I was 12, and when him came on, I stood up out of the wheelchair.
And some people were looking at me like, wait, what?
It's a miracle.
I'm partly, partly something.
I took a picture with the Budweiser girls and I had a sombrero and a little mustache.
I was 12, okay?
I was 12 years old.
It was him.
It was the Viva La Banda height of that.
Okay, you know, Rob Zombie was there.
And also we went and walked through the festival after Rob Zombie,
and we saw the way that this festival was set up,
there was a whole festival going along the side of the stage.
You could see everything going on backstage.
And we saw Rob Zombie, the band, walking to their van to leave after they were done playing.
And I was the kid that pointed out, like the robot or whatever in that movie,
like, and everyone else, like, the band had to go through the festival
and everyone was just like going, like, and I was the one that started that.
You started that shit.
So, sorry, Rob.
When she sees the picture of the corn inside the professor's...
Oh, brilliance.
I love it.
Corn.
That's where corn chips come from.
That whole monologue was so funny.
And then I stopped taking notes because I was just fucking high and watching it.
Yeah, there's a big gap on mine.
That's Mr. Fantastic and then Andy's dryer is in this movie.
Then we get to the end.
She misses Hempfest.
They take her furniture.
She doesn't pay the electricity bill.
All she cares about is her bed.
It fucks over her roommate.
And then she gets arrested.
Everything that you would think and should have happened to her totally happens.
And I love it.
You forget who's in this movie?
Harold from Hell and Coupar.
And also, Andy, I feel like you should know this, Sulu.
Oh, I know.
Yeah, of course it's Sulu.
That's what I would have called him instead of Harold and Coupar.
She goes and works at a meatpacking plant with machete.
And we see the pink slime.
And Sulu.
Sulu and Machete.
Take her on a...
Oh, and then the boss from...
No, the jump to conclusions guy from Office Space is the guy that tells her to fuck off.
Am I wrong?
Is that the guy?
He's the one that makes the board game that...
We don't have the internet.
We're disarmed.
Yeah, we're disarmed.
We're creating internet rumors.
But when I did a deep dive, I was like, what does Anna Faris say about this movie now?
And I found out she's like, oh, I love making that movie.
It warms my heart when people say it.
Page three on Google is jerk off instruction video where it's Anna Faris in the car with Sulu.
And he has this daydream where she's telling him to fuck her.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
How dare you?
Wait, wait.
This is the only part of this movie.
And that was right after writing an article about...
The mic got out of bed for her.
No, I was sitting.
I was watching a horror movie.
Did your wife walk in and be like, what the fuck are you laughing at?
Exactly.
It was on my computer.
I was watching.
She was already in bed.
And I was like, I'm watching on my computer.
She woke.
She was like, what are you doing, Michael?
And she's like, fuck me, Mike.
And my wife goes, I would have better get some water.
And she goes, what in the fuck is going on out here?
Watching a cam girl or something.
Good Lord.
Oh my goodness.
Fuck you, Mike.
And it was not a short scene.
It was a good 60 seconds of that.
Can you have Mrs. Larson just write a summary of her experience of dealing with you being
on the phone and have her as a guest?
Maybe she doesn't even have to be here.
Maybe she's very busy keeping you alive somehow.
It's a weird mystical way.
Can you just write a thing?
And we're just like, yeah, that has to be a part of it.
Holy shit.
I love it.
My note for that was we don't got to talk about the truck scene.
My notes are over.
OK.
Those dickhead stoners when she gets to Hempfest and she's like, hey, do you guys know Steve?
He's the guy with the head and the legs and the arms, bro.
Like, so stupid.
What a fucking dickhead.
Be nice to the poor stoned girl.
She has the daydream where all the police are taking all her shit and they just slap
a thing on the bed.
She's like, no, not my bed.
I love my bed.
And then just Marxism everywhere.
I will say, Marxism is all that was all great.
I thought it was great that Adrian Brody.
Wait, wait, wait.
Take that back.
Marxism's not great.
You know, Andy, can you hand and open me my last beer?
Can you open and hand me the.
Oh, there it is.
Is this even cold?
And the funny part is I like the movie, but I wouldn't say it's the best movie ever.
The best stoner movie.
I don't know.
It's the best stoner movie ever.
But it's it's in the middle of it's good.
It's not bad.
Honorable mention, at least fresh in your mind.
You're learning, Mike.
You're getting better.
It's fresh in your mind.
So this movie, it was it was Harold and Kumar with a female.
It was not sexualized.
No, not sexist.
Fuck me.
And yeah, not sexist.
It was if it made smiley face now without an affairs, they put fucking Sydney Sweeney
in there just showing her boobs to people.
Oh, yeah.
Like, fuck.
Yeah, Jesus.
Fuck.
But it was sexualized in quite a lot of it.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it, though.
She's not like dressed all sexist.
Every guy in here except for it's because she's just beautiful.
She's a beautiful blonde.
By the way, if you think it's one of one would have to do with it, I think it's realistic.
I'm not.
I think it's very realistic that that would be what she would have to deal with.
If we were in the room with her, we'd be thinking that shit.
Now, you say it's like Harold and Kumar.
That's why I have to disagree.
I think it's unique in a lot of ways.
I think it's because Harold and Kumar is fantastic in the way that it's fantastic.
Cool.
Like, there's a lot of fantastic elements to it.
Like, Harold and Snoop Dogg fucking lugging a giant blunt around.
Yeah, and then you have them riding a cheetah.
You have magic.
You have robots and stuff.
This is more realistic, yeah.
George Bush getting high with them.
Yeah.
This is 100%.
It's just depending on if you're from her perspective or if you're from the outside
perspective, it could just be a normal day where she's just sort of just...
Well, I hope not.
What I'm saying is nothing felt forced necessarily.
The only time I'd feel forced that was like the will of the writer making the scene happen
would be like she passes by her old professor's house as they were driving to where they were
going.
That was a little coincidental because when they...
There were a lot of tropes, though.
A lot of tropes.
But that's okay.
That's fine.
I'm not saying that's bad.
You see tropes...
That back, that car backing up scene is unique.
The payphone scene was unique.
I'm in stoner culture tropes.
I didn't mean tropes, movie tropes so much.
But these are such unique scenes that I have not seen in a stoner comedy.
So when you say Harold and Kumar or Pineapple Express...
She's getting busted by that cop or not busted, but...
That was so funny.
She's like, my name's something...
He just called you Jane.
He's like, I don't know why you keep doing that.
He turns to the cop and he goes, I don't know why she's doing it.
Jane, Jane, what are you doing?
And she's freaking out, but I like that she gets away.
She can't even remember her fake name.
He's like, Jane.
The point of that being, at the end of this movie, I was genuinely questioning, I still
question in my mind, and I don't think you guys either one caught this or thought the
same thing about it, but I'm not sure this movie ever happened.
What?
I'm not sure.
She's just picking up trash at the end of the movie.
Right, exactly.
And they're like, stop daydreaming.
The cop says to her, stop daydreaming at the end of this goddamn movie.
Yeah, but then why is she in jail?
Was the whole thing, she got busted for weed and this all was in her head?
No, I don't think this is all her head.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
She ate the brownies and...
Right, never did this...
Something completely else, after that point, something completely else happened and now
she's in jail.
And she was so high, she just did these whole stories in her head.
At the end of this movie, they do that and I don't know if that was on purpose or not.
Mike, I don't know who the fuck you think you are coming in here and trying to come
up with some parallel universe theory for this movie.
I'm asking the question.
That's insane.
Then why is that scene, Matt?
Dammit, I was hoping that that would get a better reaction.
You know what?
Because literally every movie I've ever argued has been, it's a parallel universe, but no,
no, this is, no, I don't think it all happened under her fucking head.
As producer of this show.
I'm going to reach out to...
Anna Faris.
Anna Faris is people, because I just, I want to ask her three questions.
Looking back after almost 20 years, what do you have to say about this movie that so many
people loved?
Two, if ever possible, probably not, Greg Akai wanted to do a sequel, would you be down
to do it?
And then three, do you still smoke weed?
And if the answer to the last one is yes, would you like to join our podcast?
No, no, you can't do that.
I'm sure there's a lot of stuff involved in doing that.
But then I would want to reach out to Greg or Kai about, okay...
Let's say I've got a question.
Let's make a sequel to Smiley Face.
Also, I had some ideas for a sequel to Smiley Face.
Okay, what do you got?
I told you at the beginning of the episode.
This is a longer one.
This is an interesting thing about this movie, a different one.
The critics love this movie, 66%.
Okay, on Rotten Tomatoes?
Audience though?
Fuck you, 40%.
44.
Well, I think the audience doesn't get it.
But that's strange, that's usually the other way around.
You know that the entire 44% is people that absolutely love the fucking movie?
Sure.
Yeah, that's just interesting how this kind of movie usually is the other way around.
The other 60%.
Usually the other way around.
It's usually the critics.
56%.
Yeah, they're people that just watch the fucking Irishmen or some bullshit.
It's odd.
It was just an odd, interesting thing.
They hate women-led comedies.
You think that's what it is?
Other than Bridesmaid.
Honestly, I feel like that is one that is just done fucking right.
I was dragged by a girlfriend to see some movie starring fucking J.Lo, I think.
And she wants to start a beauty company.
Glitter?
I don't think it's that.
Sparkle?
You're just naming My Little Pony characters now at this point.
Moonbeam?
Moonbeam.
And she's trying to find her mom or dad?
I don't know.
It's just chick-led comedy movies.
I saw the one where, what's her face?
Steals jokes.
Kind of big.
Chelsea.
No, not Chelsea.
Chelsea.
Not Chelsea anything.
She had a show on fucking Comedy Central, god damn it.
Yeah.
Chelsea Hammond.
I don't even remember the movie or the person who started it.
That's how bad it was.
Smiley face.
Chelsea Hammond.
Smiley face.
Anna Faris.
Love her.
Love it.
That's all you gotta say.
Is a woman-led comedy, like name another woman-led comedy.
Ghostbusters 2016.
I'm gonna, I hope the ghosts of Chloride haunt you for the rest of your fucking life.
Wait, did you say name a good one?
Yes.
You said name one.
Name one.
I did.
That's one you could remember because everybody fucking hated it.
I'm just name, I'm not saying name one.
Bridesmaids.
Give my big fat Greek wedding.
Yeah.
The girls.
All back in the day.
And like what happened?
You can't make, what is happening right now that you can't make a smiley face now with
a hot girl that doesn't even dress hot, it's not sexualized at all.
You don't want me to answer that.
I can't answer that on this podcast.
You wouldn't want me to apologize.
It's a porno.
It's a porno, Mike.
Mike got super into jerk off instruction videos after this.
Yeah, we all know.
Okay.
His wife knows, she hears it all the time.
He isn't a repeat.
Fuck me Mike.
Good thing we don't have internet because we'd be getting the FaceTime.
This is what you want Mike.
You guys ready to rate this thing?
I'm rating this movie.
Are you ready for me to yell that again?
I'm rating this movie a big fat smiley face.
Oh.
Oh god.
Here we go.
She's throwing away your vote.
Yeah.
P plus.
Okay.
I'm doing a B plus as well Mike.
Smiley face equals B plus.
Fine.
I wrote that on my notes.
Smiley face equals B plus.
Here's the difference.
It's very simple.
The difference is you guys watch this stoned out, watch this sober.
Why?
I just did because I watch it.
But we're supposed to be reviewing a movie so I watched it.
Okay.
Let me ask you.
Does Mrs. Larson smoke?
Mrs. Larson does not smoke because she has bad lungs but she eats.
Okay.
But she gets high.
She can get high.
She didn't watch the movie.
No.
She did not watch the movie.
Okay.
Here's the experiment I'm going to offer you is to.
Have her watch it.
I'd like to get her opinion.
I would like.
With the premise and we need to have her on a call on the podcast so it's not interpreted
by you.
Right.
Oh, she backed up my claim 100% you guys.
Get her high and have her watch the movie.
Oh, get her high.
How about sober also?
Don't make her watch the movie too time.
The point is we want to know if it's a good movie or we want to know if stoner's like
the movie.
There's a difference.
Stoner checks.
You should both get high and watch it.
Right.
I'll see it for a second.
I'll see it from a different perspective.
Right.
And if Mrs. Larson.
I'm not saying I didn't like it though.
If.
My grade's a C. I'm not saying it's a bad movie.
It's a good movie.
Oh, C. If Mrs. Larson likes it.
I will have my mom give her.
Hey, it's your rating system.
It would be a B on a normal rating system but you cannot tell me this is die hard.
You got it rated B plus.
It's just not.
It's just.
I'm rating it on stoner.
It slaps.
What were you saying?
Exactly.
I was going to say if Mrs. Larson gives this movie a good rating I will personally give
something to you guys from my jars connected mother.
You hear that Lisa?
So.
Yeah Lisa.
Lisa?
Yeah.
Alright so.
B minus.
Probably.
That's probably right.
Only because of Mike.
Only because of me.
You guys say it would be plus.
I can.
We gotta add that in there.
Because of Mike.
Only because of asterisk.
Mike.
Yeah.
B. Okay.
If it's getting closer.
Because of Mike it's an asterisk.
Like what was the other movie?
Oh Ready to Rumble.
Another asterisk.
B minus asterisk.
Oh by the way we should probably preface this at the fucking start of all our ratings.
I know if you're a fan you know this but if you're not we typically review B movies which
we haven't been doing lately.
But this one was kind of a B movie.
Yeah kind of.
And the way that it was like.
It's not a huge one.
It was a B movie.
And so we don't want to give As to Bs.
So we start at B.
We go to F. Did you look at the gross?
Or any of the.
No I did not.
I swear it said worldwide like $9,000 or something.
And then W if it's a waste of time.
So we're going to change that rating system.
I almost came up with a new.
I was envisioning a new system.
I suggested Ls.
Because Mike is a good gatekeeper of what becomes an L. What becomes better than a B
plus.
If everyone gives it a B plus we have to give it something special.
Everyone who watches like yeah great.
And then I thought maybe a tier system based on the first season.
Which I mean I'm pretty sure there was a movie that everyone gave a B plus to at some point.
And a movie that everyone gave a W to at some point.
And so you just call it that movie.
Whatever if you don't stop you'll go blind.
So like is it you don't stop you'll go blind or is it die hard.
We could even start ranking the movies.
If someone could go back and look at all the movies that we had given the scores that they've
had and put them into tier systems that we've already built.
Somebody like Tomas?
Somebody like Tomas.
Yeah.
Well actually that's more of a social media thing.
He just edited that out.
And that.
But yeah if we could do that I mean that would be kind of cool.
Then we just.
It's difficult because we started out weird.
I might just.
I might just do.
And that's one of the problems is when you have a movie B plus you're really giving it
an A plus.
Like it's fucking the best movie ever is what y'all are doing.
And this is not that.
But if any of the people that.
I think I'm the only one sticking to the rating system is the problem.
People are going to look at our die hard rating of B.
Yeah.
And think we're fucking morons.
Yeah.
So.
Exactly.
You might even have to just go with something simple like a five gen system.
You guys both say this movie is better than die hard.
Austin Tangent you sent that video into the group chat of RoboCop shooting off everyone's
dicks.
And it became like one of my favorite things I've ever seen.
I didn't send it.
That was Zach that sent it.
Zach.
But.
We wanted.
He wanted to know what the unsolicited just your take on that would be because we were
talking about RoboCop.
Dude.
I was like oh yeah.
This is the scene in RoboCop where he shoots the guy's dick off.
And I'm like what's so special about this.
And then another guy just walks up and it looks like it was filmed then.
And.
It's a dick shot.
And then another guy.
And then.
And then it's just RoboCop spinning around just shooting a bunch of guys dicks off.
Wait.
Does he actually shoot a dude's dick off in the actual movie?
In the actual movie.
Yes.
But doesn't show it like it does.
He shoots through the thigh gap.
And then shoots a guy's dick off.
Yes.
That's the actual movie.
That's the only part.
Got it.
That's it.
Everything after that is done.
And then.
They did such a good job.
These guys CGI or whatever.
I don't know what they did.
They did great.
Something.
They did something so good they made it look so fucking god damn real.
It was so real.
Those dicks getting blown apart looked fucking surreal.
Somebody send that to Joe Rogan.
Yeah.
Joe Rogan needs to see the Rogan.
When they're doing the Protect Our Parks things with all those guys.
Just put that on there for them.
Yeah.
Please.
Oh.
Speaking of Joe Rogan.
Can't look it up.
No.
But speaking of the one.
So the Joe Rogan that just aired about two days ago.
Michelle Dowd?
Yeah.
Is that like the Dowd guys?
Michelle Dowd.
He knows Michelle Dowd.
Michelle Dowd is my.
Is a good friend of mine.
Yeah.
I'm gonna go take a picture of her and Joe.
Yeah.
I'm seeing Michelle on Friday.
We're gonna go see a movie and go to Jazz Club.
Are you sure you want to broadcast that on this podcast?
Well no.
I've shout out her book before on here.
Okay.
Forager.
What's up Michelle?
Yeah.
Hey Michelle.
This is the.
That's.
Okay.
She's very innocent.
Yeah.
I'm guessing she's very busy.
She can't be a guest on this.
Of course not.
And I don't want to blast our personal history on here.
But we're good friends.
And I.
We text almost every day.
That's so sick.
All the time.
I just.
I would want to know like off the record like what it's like.
You get the email or whatever.
I know.
Somebody tells you you're gonna be on that.
She's been extremely busy.
I haven't.
She just.
You get helicoptered in and parachuted down into this compound that it's shaped in a big
J for Joe Rogan.
And then you.
And who.
You go through like a chamber that like sprays you for contaminants.
I wouldn't.
And then it's just a gym.
And then Joe Rogan like arises like.
Yeah.
Out of a sensory deprivation slash crowd chamber.
And he's like hello.
You are going to.
Here's a cigar.
Is that the picture you showed him?
The one with the cigar?
Is that what you showed him?
There's two pictures.
I need.
I need 30 burpees out of you right now.
I'm not done with my fantasy yet you guys.
I know.
Yeah you're cutting him off.
Yes here.
Here's.
Here's the ghost of Mitch Hedberg and several other dead comedians.
Talked about this at all.
This is young Jamie.
He's actually an alien.
And.
You're going deep in the general sphere of fantasy.
And then the whole time you were being sprayed with DMT and you don't even know.
And then he makes you eat elk meat.
Of course.
And then you sit down.
And then you sign an NDA.
So you can't tell me anything.
I can't tell you anything.
But yeah she.
I mean she I think she did great on the episode.
I think it was a good episode.
I guess.
I have to look because I saw it and I thought Dowd.
There's this documentary.
There's a documentary called The Seven Five.
And it's about like these crooked cops that were like in the eight seventies eighties.
And like all the fucked up shit they did.
They would just steal the money and steal the drugs and sell the drugs.
And there was a guy Mike the cop Michael Dowd.
So I thought like.
He was on the show I think already.
Yeah he was.
He was.
No she's not related to him.
She's she wrote a book called Forger Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult.
And she grew up in a doomsday cult and escaped it at 17.
And you met her after this.
Well yeah.
She didn't try to recruit you.
No no she's older than I am.
So she when she was doing all this I met her.
This is a cover story and he's trying to get us into this fucking cult.
I'm not going to go.
It's she's fooled Joe.
She's not going to fool me.
The cult is still alive.
See I'm not I'm not going to put our.
No but the age.
I listened to the episode.
It's interesting to listen to the episode.
I don't know.
It's interesting to listen to the episode.
I don't know.
It's interesting to listen to if you do get a chance to listen to it.
It's interesting because she's not.
So she survived a cult.
But it's not as.
I'm not trying to put it that simply.
That title sounds undercut.
Well no you have to read the book.
Yeah because it's not.
Well no because here's the thing.
I think you're about to say it so that doesn't sound as bad as it was.
But you need to read the book.
It's worse than you think.
She doesn't go into the nitty gritty details like Joe does.
No why would she?
They were having like a pleasant kind of fun talk about religion most of the time.
If you read her book it deep dives into the.
She touches on the more traumatic things that have happened to her.
But like it's it was absolutely not a good place to be growing up.
It was like a bad cult.
Oh I got that feeling but I didn't get the feeling that it was a.
Could she.
She said she would have dragged the Kool-Aid basically.
Obviously she can't be a guest but could she pick a movie?
I could.
When I see her on Friday she could pick a movie.
Then we can have tangentially a Joe Rogan guest help our podcast.
And then we'll have we'll have Bob read whatever I don't know something.
It's like let's I mean.
Oh yeah I'll bring it up to her.
Like look we're not going to say she's on it or featuring her or anything but we'll
plug the book.
She let me she let me talk about her book in my stand up once because I was like I was
like yeah my friend just came out with a book today.
But at the same time today I ate some veggies on my own.
So everyone makes their own accomplishments.
But yeah so let me listen to that.
Shout out to Michelle.
You did great.
I've been telling her that all week.
No she held her own.
Yeah held her own.
Really cool.
So did Joe like challenge her?
No no no no.
I'll listen to it.
Knowledge wise it was just it was a good back and forth.
Did you listen to the episode?
Yeah I watched it.
Did he mention how Joe Rogan's club like the original location that he picked he had Ron
White come down and Ron White was like oh yeah this place used to be owned by a cult.
I perform there and they're really nice.
And so he decided not to buy that location and chose where it is now.
No he did mention he did mention he watched a documentary about a gay dancer guy that
led a cult.
Yeah he was just fucking dudes.
It's been covered.
That's funny though.
But yeah no they when we say she held her own it's just like she like it was an interesting
conversation everything he threw at her she had something cool to throw back and like
it was good it was good back and forth.
As long as she did better than Michael DeLong.
I've never seen him.
The Wink 182 the guy that's he's all obsessed with aliens now.
Oh yeah.
Yeah he kept selling Joe all this crazy shit and then Joe was like asked him some serious
questions like oh I can't tell you that.
I can't tell you that.
So now I just picture him floating through space going where are you.
That's good.
All right so what movie are we going to watch next week.
Well I guess I picked this one so it's up to Mike.
My vote for this week was going to be Battlefield Earth.
Oh Jesus.
That's good.
Yeah because we can talk about Scientology.
No it's kind of bad.
Honestly when I was a kid and I saw it for the first time my dad was like you like Star
Wars so much why don't you watch this.
It's your week to pick.
It is my week.
Yes.
Battlefield Earth.
That happened last week was an anomaly.
OK Mike but it is definitely you 100 percent.
Next week right.
Yeah next week.
Yeah.
We've changed our rules.
I want to see a Mike movie and maybe the start of Summer of Statham.
Oh boy.
Because I might just tag along with you it's only interrupted by Andy once out of two.
Battlefield Earth.
Wow.
So you decided after having the one that we all went oh yeah dude just when you mentioned
it.
You didn't like Battlefield Earth?
Well I've never watched it.
Dude it's not.
It's never seen.
No OK.
Visually speaking.
Bro I'm not even against it.
I'm not even against it.
It's one of those movies that everyone says is notoriously bad.
I get it.
I've seen some movies.
It's just because John Travolta is an alien.
That's the only thing.
And it looks weird.
And Forrest Whitaker is an alien.
And they look weird.
Everything else.
It's also.
It is also based on the religion.
The movie.
I haven't seen it in a very very long time.
I think that's part of the problem.
So I can talk about it a little bit based on my very fringy memories of it.
It's really cool to see Earth as it's been destroyed.
As it's been destroyed a long time ago and all the people that are alive now don't know
fucking shit about the Earth.
They're ruining this for me.
I hate spoilers.
It's not a spoiler.
You're giving me the plot.
I don't want the plot.
I'm going to watch this.
You know what?
If we had internet we could go look at the whatever for this movie.
And it would be the description.
The back of a DVD.
That would be the description.
Nobody knows what the fuck happened.
They refer to us as gods and shit.
Wait you're from LA.
Just go back to your Scientology.
You'll know the story.
Well I was actually.
We'll get into it next week.
That's another thing.
It's like John Travolta's saying that.
And I bet he gets so much shit.
He's like yeah I'm Scientology.
He's like yeah you were in Battlefield Earth dude.
Shut the fuck up.
Isn't he a Scientologist?
Yes.
That's what they get.
The movie gets the hate from the Scientology connection.
Well sure.
Yeah.
But we'll get into my brush with Scientology next week.
Well this has been a on location in chloride.
Weird.
Internetless.
We're in a room with this giant weird bulb that we didn't even really address.
Yeah it's a giant light bulb in this studio.
Giant light bulb.
It's a cool light bulb.
It's about the size of my head.
It's about the size of your head.
There's a filament in there that's pretty.
Yeah.
Do that.
We also got it on camera maybe.
I don't know.
But uh.
Smiley face.
B minus.
We're watching Battlefield Earth next week.
God help us.
Or sorry.
Thetans help us.
Or whatever the fuck.
And I guess we'll do a personality test with you all next week.
With me as always is Austin's got a grumpy face feral.
Yo Ana get at me.
Michael's got an old face larsen.
Yeah he's just upset because we're deserting him in chloride.
And I'm your host.
Get the fuck out of my hotel room.
Why aren't your shoes on?
I'm your host.
I didn't tell you you could have my waters that are.
I brought this from home.
From the bar.
From the bar home.
I'm your host Andy Autistic Face.
Damn dude.
Rice.
I'm autistic.
I feel offended now.
I am autistic.
I am too.
Well then sorry I'll bring it back.
I'm Andy Ted Cruz Face Rice.
There you go.
This has been Fried Rice Podcast.
We've been fried.
We've been in chloride.
See y'all next week.
Peace.
Peace out.
Thanks for watching.