Hey man, have you ever heard of Fried Rice Podcast?
Fried Rice Podcast?
Yeah man, they're a podcast that reviews movies and a new one comes out every Saturday on
YouTube.
They're sponsored by Bell Ringers.
Bell Ringers?
Yeah, Bell Ringers.
It's a adapter for your bong or hookah.
And it holds three joints, three blunts, three bowls or three dabs.
Three dabs?
Yeah man, three dabs.
And check us out every Saturday on YouTube at Fried Rice Podcast, sponsored by Bell
Ringers.
Good.
episode of fried rice podcast I am your host Andy Rice let's get fried with me
as always it's Michael this time I tried to kill him in about a dozen
different fucking video games and not once could I take his old ancient
fucking ass out he grew up on these video games it's not fair it's in his
blood for somehow he got to wave six on joust but he's still an old bitch and I
wish you would die Larson with me as always is Austin he drove actually
maybe less time than normal no three hours like always the fucking be here
he's my producer he's my right hand which means yeah I do use him to touch
myself at night barrel check me out at blockbuster with me as always is Kevin
the owner of glitch bar cadmium he's he also somehow invented the airplane right
Orville was a great great asset to my family tree buck buck yeah yeah buck
buck yeah yeah with me as always is Cory I didn't I I didn't want to make an
obvious cock joke with your last name it's too easy I know it's like it's like
you have the if Green Lanterns power was willpower yours somehow involves dicks
because it's willcocks but I have no willpower yeah I'm part owner with Kevin
here at glitch and I also have a little sticker company called tech rap tech
rap honestly is more than a sticker company let's not lie you want anything
done get it done over there graphic design straight up yeah we know all the
first design and all the stuff rare right now that's all that's all tech rep
oh yeah dude these are fucking sick these hats and everything you guys made
these yeah we did them all yeah oh on the inside all the design I noticed that
this little glitched out dude I'm like that's an extra personal touch glitchy
boo from much our brewery here in Lake Havasu City mark Morrison and Luke
Portugal obviously Scott stocking huge big shout out to them for helping our
seltzer line we have the glitchy poo great and also orange dream sickle
flavors that they do and they just kill it and that's where you get it on the
hat right there on that so a little water drop these are you come into town
and see them in the bar just look for the tap handles that look like spray cans
basically okay fuck yeah it was really skeptical we first made it because it
has word poo in it we're like Scott you gotta trust us it's gonna be a killer
let us roll with it you know against his will but it's paid off everybody's been
enjoying it but yeah when you said it I didn't think shit when you said poo it's
a cute thing it's like one of those kind of things yeah I love it yeah so we
that's a legit business owner gets like so you know we don't fuck around
fried rice podcast with me as always is Tristan his name is misleading when you
read it so you have to ask him how it's finesse say it but uh he looks like if
we had a friendlier more cuddly version of our our Lord and Savior's Zachy
improv who's on the on the on our team you just look like a more adorable
version of him you look like a wish version yeah you look like a wish
version of the the closer on kill Tony
I don't know man I always perceive you as Ludo from fuck of the labyrinth
you would never leave me wrong you even down the wrong path he's like you look
like you look like a woman in the in the mountains in Switzerland and made love
to some sort of ape creature and came out with some sort of Sasquatch or yeti
have you seen a very really you don't know with us as always is she's a
bartender it's Ida the bartender by night and what do you do by day
Barton and that's funny because I never let it is there enough room on the
license plate for that what's not just get your label don't you make stickers
right in the back office see what I do I never let anybody do their own
introduction and yet she did so she really does whatever the fuck she was
and then very special with us is a is a joint collaboration symbiosis synergy as
they say in the corporate world with a with with the completely compromised
podcast we have and I am NOT making up these names ladies and gentlemen we have
I mean this is one of those things where it's like how old are you guys in your
20s young 20s yeah yeah okay so your your parents are like millennial age
right and those were people were trying to get real fucking creative with their
kids names right like that's you couldn't just get Michaels and Shawn's
and Corey's right you got Keegan and his last name is perfect for a podcast
about weed it's snod grass but then we get a name that just no one's ever named
anybody they just made it up on the day you were born because they were stoned
on fucking whatever meds they give women while they're giving birth it's Javin he
looks like he chases grateful dead concerts around the country in his
favorite spare time he looks like he's that he took a time machine for some
time in the 60s to be here today crucial
and I think that's everybody did I forget anyone I feel like I feel like one
person got a and then someone got a couple and by the time we ranked up to
the end the crucial got the full hand well that was great we can end it there
no no because all of you well okay well first let's get into the what did we
smoke because of course everything was smoked at an undisclosed location that
because you know we're at a bar you don't smoke inside here so but what did
we smoke I'll tell you one thing that we were smoking is a baby Jeter Barry
white infused little half grams these things are fucking gnarly I love them to
death I buy them all the time we spoke and constantly on the show we can't
really bring the bong out you know to a to a roadshow that's not very polite
that's not really smart you know and there's a there's an art there's an art
there's an agricultural checkpoint on the way back home and it's I don't ever
take fruit home I mean unless it's been a really good night at a gay bar no wait
am I allowed to say that no that's whatever pickle challenge pickle
challenge but okay so homophobic I feel like since we're doing what are we
smoking I figured I would give you this my mom made it it looks like a thing
that you wrap around your slums like your jerks it's actually a bomb cozy oh
so it wraps around the bottom it has a little clippable thing so you can
adjust it looks like flea took up crochet your mom is amazing tell oh
thank you Austin's mom you're so sweet and if it's not a bomb cozy she thinks
really highly and it's just enough for the rest of my dick I'll tell you this
if I was blessed with this if I was rocking this rocking around just like
no I wouldn't know a podcast I'd be just fucking all the time and you'd be lucky
to be one of my partners I guess down the line I watched a whole I watched a
documentary about there's a dick museum in Iceland or and it's got a dick from
every animal on display you know just just so you can look at what what picks
from all the different animals like the one thing they don't have is a human
dick and so because there's two guys in Iceland that are trying to be the guy
that give up their give up their dicks it was about and they're both like
sword fight sword fight they're both like seasoned fuckers like they've
they've fucked everyone in Iceland it's like it's like they're talking they're
talking about like they're talking about like myth myth mythologically like three
generations from others to be 2% of this dude you can go visit the dick that's
responsible for your ancestry at a museum at this fucking Iceland museum but
we're sorry we know you hate Iceland but oh yeah but okay so that's our what are
we smoking thank you so much throw out because a shameless plug to Lake Havasu
City and all the great businesses yeah in this community I'm currently smoking
an Ashton Sinder Rida cigar from Lake Havasu cigars right down here on the
Colick right next to legends another great establishment so if you are
looking for something that is non THC dare I say the old-school smoke yeah go
down there and grab a cigar great place great staff can I ask you I'm not a big
cigar guy when you do a cigar do you just put it in your mouth and blow it out
or do you smoke it all right you're not Monica Lewinsky in it you know here's
more of a leave Monica Lewinsky alone she's been through enough find another
target for your abuse Harvey Weinstein is available we can pretend that he
fucks cigars in prison why does it got to be poor Monica Lewinsky isn't it
enough that this poor young woman you got seduced by a president and then
became the laughing stock of the entire fucking world
yeah you could be the chick from way out of gun she's way worse oh she could be
the new Betsy Ross if she's took up crochet who wants experience
yeah I can't argue with a woman about women's rights I can but I don't want to
I don't want to cancel myself on my own show but there are there are more how
about Caitlyn Jenner woman of the year woman of the year no what she did for
time it wasn't a fucking no match for humanitarian of the year which is a
member of the show yeah we have one of our rice presence was we call our fans
and people that have been on the shows which is great because then I can
consider anyone that's been on the show a fan now that I think about it yeah the
rice presence for the friars but oh no I can't thank you all right so let's do
some more shameless plugging this of course we're in the beautiful Lake
Havasu we had to unfortunately they were supposed to be I feel bad for Mike so oh
shit yeah if you're an arcade machines are gonna tell you yeah play me let's
talk a little bit about the glitch bar Katie when did you guys open this thing
up we open this up two years ago January 11th so we're just over two years on our
third year now we truly believe 2024 is gonna be our best year ever we've been
bringing in more arcades more machines more focus on gaming more literally a
place to be no matter what age you are if you're of course 21 and over that's
where we're at where the word you are those 20 year olds literally you know
just hang on tight but yeah it really is a place that it's like a living museum
the way I word it is a place that people come in and touch nostalgia it's the
artwork it's the sounds it's the graphics it's the things that people
don't even know like imagine people like watching an episode of Roseanne and they
have the old little like pigtail phone in the kitchen they had to like jump
rope over it to get through a scene those kids growing up now don't
understand that kind of idea and I'm not even going back to the rotary phone
which I fucking had so I'm dating myself but that concept is it's it's not like a
car show where you say don't touch it don't look at it don't put your we want
you to we love when people tell us oh shoot something broke we got to get that
fixed Tristan's awesome at that all the time keep me in the loop when I'm not
here eyes on scene because again it's living art it's functional art it's down
to the science of the design the mechanics the math the sound the
graphics and again look at it man when it's flashing in your face it takes you
back you pair that with some good music some good friends and a couple good
cocktails you're in for a great time I like that the cocktails are all themed
which is great this is our first time down and we had a blast today I mean I
don't know if Andy did as much blast just kicking the shit out of you who
doesn't I mean I met Andy five minutes ago and I've been kicking this shit out
of I feel like I feel like first off rude second I feel like we established
that earlier I gave you your due credit so you don't need to bring it up rude
it's about letting your friends boost their ego yeah I will say Mortal Kombat
knowing is gonna beat my ass and telling me what moves to do just so you can
deflect them and both my ass I think what makes this place stand apart in my
mind is the attention to detail it almost feels like you've seen that
commercial on Facebook for that place in Vegas the fake grocery store that's a
mega mark okay this feels like video game Omega mark it's like you go into
the bathroom and it's got a full-blown Mario mural on all four walls it feels
like you're pissing in a Mario level you know if only it'll get bigger yeah yeah
how'd I get the micro mushroom but yeah no they their individual the individual
fucking arcade tokens have their have their logo on it with their with their
like in God we trust but whatever the their version it looks like the Bitcoin
logo but with the G yeah and you guys put like fake so it's pure which way
literally peer-to-peer of Arcadia yeah I have a new city Arizona with our
literally our address it's mocked off the Bitcoin Corey did an amazing job
again over at tech wrap that just really really captured the idea that you have
your own currency when we have people even here that they come in town maybe
they spend a little extra and they're like well what do I do with these can I
change them in you know we're like no but they're a stable coin I'm like
Bitcoin it's a stable coin it'll always be for what you bought it expires and
it's always good for fun and if nothing else we specifically even made them
gold because if you're walking around the street and you see copper you see
silver you know you might overlook it you see a gold coin you're gonna like
double-check that and it reminded me of growing up in arcades and trust me I
have and I'm that big of a nerd I have a token collection I didn't have that
growing up I wish I would have kept on growing up where I've been but since
being here I've literally seen tokens from 1980 from Chuck E Cheese and I've
kept that in my collection I also have seen from a start bar in st. Louis
Missouri my hometown where I'm from actually show up in my bar I did the math
on Google of math distance I guess it's math but anyway and it was 1506 miles
bar to bar that this token showed up in our bar that warmed my heart so much
because I'm just like it's something again like you said the nostalgia of
having that token and that means something so when people like you know
they like my bill won't work can you exchange my bill for a crisp one I'm
like hell yeah I can because that's part of the experience if you're not doing it
that way if you're swiping the card you're beep and you're just getting
credits on the machine numbers from the same passion I walked in because that's
what I grew up you go to the mall you throw your five in and you get your 20
token you go play I like the way I like the way your brain that went away and
this is the first time I've done that in 20 years I feel like everything is
nostalgic to you though like I feel like I feel like you're one of those guys you
step outside you step and gum just like the old days it's like you get your
piece of shit car doesn't start oh boy I just turned on Adam Sandler it's like
you one of your nostalgic moments right now forgive me was my fucking dollar
bill won't go in the machine right can you exchange it you're like I got you
broke in your mind it's a it's what it's like the arcade music hitting just right
you're handing over that Chris dollar bill you're winking at him it's like a
Mentos commercial he's taking it it's one of the most nostalgic fueled moments
of his life I mean I wish that much I love it man you're full of the stall just
spirit if there was a like a if we were to ever do a video game Christmas Carol
adaptation I would make you the ghost of video game present or past future well
you don't want to be the grim you wouldn't be the grim dark one I cast
Austin's fucking all those asses there's no death arcades in my mindset I died so
many times wait what you said what was that very cool Tristan you work here
your bouncer slash how about jump man instead of bouncer see how gracefully is
though how do you not see Ludo Ludo says leave but on the other end I honestly
know and I love that we hiring a bouncer is easy hiring a host is hard Scott our
first guy I mean absolutely I mean it's God you know Scott had been in the
industry for years led the way in Vegas I mean he had a lot of great stories been
with us and again Robert Scott Brock if you hear this you're listening to it
right now I know thank you hopefully he's actually writing some strip work
that's gonna get approved by prime or Netflix he does screenplay work so you
guys might if you need an overweight underachieving lazy self-centered
fucking person to star in something here I am but honestly you know yeah a host
having somebody that is not afraid to greet you from the parking lot somebody
that actually like you know just wants you to be here and makes and then on the
way out make sure you get home safe carrots happy to see you return back you
know so Tris you feel the you feel the role well met for oh yeah and then Ida
one of the coolest things about this place I always love when there are
themed drinks and you poured some great drinks neither very tasty the what was
that spicy shot I had when I got here first scorpion stick very good what's
your favorite drink that you serve here I had a mark Mario Rita
so do you do you think that ask the is an astrological signs have anything to
do with how person is do you think it has anything to do with how their
day-to-day stuff is gonna go do you think the horoscopes sorry I'm just
gonna kind of get that away so I'm waiting for you to pass the fucking
go by the whole shit but I do know over the years as I've grown older you can
start to see people's characteristics and they start to show out and people as
you get notice them they stand out but you do have to take into consideration
culture life experiences you know we're all more than just one thing I agree one
moment yeah it's Aquarius they'll go to a knife co-presentation and almost by
the fucking briefcase full of knives okay and he'll be he'll do he'll do
primarica for about a year well yeah I do get a cool song and I share my
birthday with Bob Marley which is kind of fun Bob Marley Alec Baldwin right
killer from and and the woman and what's crazy is the armorer the one who's in
trouble is in Bullhead City from and lives in Bullhead City where we were I
was no surprise it's really not yeah you guys are have a shoe snobs but you're not
so religiously mad at Parker today I drove three hours to be here as most
people know but I was driving through Parker because I was expecting to do our
comedy show at the heat tonight and then the wind started picking up I'm driving
through Parker I'm like it's a little windy it's a little dusty and everyone
starts calling me telling me I don't know if we're doing the show tonight but
I'm in Parker driving through the wind so it's like keeps cutting out a phone
phone calls keep hanging hanging up like I'm getting so mad about those why
why does everybody decide to call me when I'm driving through Parker like all
the time when it's cutting out in a dead zone like if I'm ever fucking feeling
lonely all I have to do is drive to Parker and somebody will fucking call
that stop there's nothing going on in Parker anyways bro the dust bowl never has a funny story about Parker on a gas station
the dust bowls are you saying the dust bowl from like the Great Depression is
still going on
you want to do a sequel on you know the Graves of Rapture go to Parker
see what's going on there. I'd be more depressing actually. I used to do social work on La Paz County if that helps.
Anybody been to Cebola Arizona raise your hand.
Cebola. Get the fuck out of here.
That guy from Star Wars Episode 1.
Two down the river. Cook Math.
Yeah raise dogs dog fighting ring.
That happens there too.
Parker South!
So just speaking of Mojave comedy.
We did an open mic once out here at Finney's or no no I might have been in Kingman and this guy comes out and his whole open mic bit
he's a guy that's probably in his 50s he tells a story about him and his buddies going down to Mexico Tijuana and now him and a couple of friends went and watched the donkey show
and then he explained in full detail every aspect of this donkey show and where he's just like he's talking about how she's just getting covered with it you know like like drinking some of it and like all this stuff right and I'm just going like fuck this is so gross
and then he finishes he goes alright oh god then I get back to the hotel room and I'm like thank God and he goes and then I find my buddy and I'm like you'll never believe what I just did I went to a donkey show we gotta go back man
and so he then does he explains again the differences between the second night he went and the first night he went and he went on for a good almost 10 minutes it was a 3 minute open mic and nobody could stop this just this man on it he was having so much fun I think his wife was in the audience and she was just like embarrassed you know like he didn't plan this he's like oh open mic let me go up there and tell him the donkey show story
don't mind me I'm just pulling up Expedia over here just my trip
yeah it's the first time I don't feel sorry for your 3 hour drive today though
oh I'm about to make a 6 hour drive buddy
so we were supposed to Mojave Comedy was supposed to be doing a heat hotel show tonight it got cancelled due to wind which is bullshit because it's not even fucking windy but Mike here his daughter granddaughter had to do what
track meet
had a track meet at 9am so he's like alright I'll come out at 9am I'll take a nap maybe explore the town a little bit and then at 8 I've got a comedy show and then Amy will be there we'll all get to hang out and I know I call him and I go comedy shows cancelled I'll be there about 9, 9.30 and he's like fuck he's just asleep in a park he's like shit what am I gonna do
now it's 2 o'clock in the morning
I went around exploring Havasu it's an interesting
wait till it's summertime you'll be on the lake time even worse
it's hard to explore
oh yeah
they like turn that way
yeah exactly the streets are all surface streets
it's all surface streets
all the streets look the same
if you really really really want to explore this town you need an uber and it needs to be a Friday or Saturday
yeah
well you just need to go to Disneyland a hundred times dude because it's the same creators that did the park in Disneyland
is it really
yeah that's true
yeah so where's Frontierland is that Bullhead
wait wait wait so guys from Disneyland designed the place
and then he took it and turned it into BJ's
I don't see that
it's more like Epcot Center
alright now let's talk about the completely compromised podcast
so Javin Keegan
we got a listener here
what's the main focal point of your guys's
cause it sounds so interesting when you told me that one of your first episodes was you black casted the Lord of the Rings movies
I'm like I'm listening to that maybe on the way home tonight cause I'm like that sounds great
and I love you two already cause like you seem like you shouldn't exist in this time period
and there's just something about you you remind me of one of my best friends so it's just you're getting a pass
like you can be a piece of shit it doesn't matter you can do nothing wrong you just remind me of one of my best friends so you get a pass
yeah
so what do you guys do on your podcast just the two of you
we generally try to discover the depths of
the depths of how
do you guys talk about Dante and the inner circles of hell and all the different
what circle are you in what are you in six five
that was very big but deep
you guys make 10 minutes of an episode just screaming at the mayor
having sidewalks in my neighborhood
oh yeah
sounds like it deserves it
you gotta suck off the mayor for a fucking sidewalk
or take him to a donkey show
maybe then we'd get somewhere
you might get more than you bargain for there
yeah no we just go
what is Space Jam 3 about
Space Jam 3
yeah that's the episode of one of your titles
I think it was Looney Tunes goes back in time to stop 9-11
yeah that's what we were on about
what about the was it fuck you Gordon Ramsey what was that
oh yeah
I have such beef with Gordon Ramsey I hate that guy
what's your beef with Gordon Ramsey
he's a fucking hack dude
well
but have you had his food
okay cause here's the thing I've been to Hell's Kitchen
and I've had a beef Wellington
and I have to fucking tell you
he can do whatever he wants
he makes a really good fucking beef Wellington bro
to be honest though he did not beef you with beef Wellington
he did it but
no no no but I
he just yelled at the guy making it
he fucking doughnut
so I started just real quick we'll get back to you
this is the tangent filled
your tangent filled host it says on the intro
to all of these fucking episodes
but I watched an episode of
cause I like
what's the MasterChef Jr
I like the kid version I like both versions
but the kid version they did a holiday
they did a holiday version
and he called a kid a doughnut
and I've never seen he's like
what are you doing you doughnut
and they look at him and they're like Gordon you can't say
he's like well he's a doughnut
he knows it like cause the kid did something stupid
I think he like didn't turn his
was that like a bleep out edit
no
he called him a doughnut
and it was the fat kid too
he called the fat
he called the fat kid a doughnut
I love Gordon Ramsay
it's a major pain asking for a
Anthony Bourdain is so much better
they don't do the same thing
but my whole beef with Gordon Ramsay
is like okay his whole
career has been like oh fuck
you have frozen food this is garbage
blah blah blah blah blah and then recently
he puts out a fucking frozen TV dinner
and I'm like you cogsucker
he is the capitalist there's no doubt
it's a whole line at Walmart
and I've had the Guy Fieri one
I've had the Gordon Ramsay fish and chips
I've had the Guy Fieri fucking
Mexican throw up bowl
or whatever it is
what the fuck
what do you think it would be
now if it was a little beef Wellington
would you trust a beef Wellington
that was microwaveable
absolutely not
after this podcast probably
I just like to think
like you know
try to get the freshest ingredients
you can and then he turns around and does this
I'm like I get that for Guy Fieri
that makes sense
he looks like shit
but have you
but have you watched
Gordon Ramsay just going buck
wild on YouTube
he just reacts to people making food
so it's just like he's he just
goes oh what the fuck are you doing
oh you fucking donut
no no no wait wait
wait no
holy shit
that looks amazing like it's just like
he gets his mind blown by fucking wackos
on YouTube doing his shit wrong
and it ends up being right so he's willing
to admit mistakes
I feel like they edited it and it's just his reaction
to porn scenes
you fucking donut
that's what he calls vaginas
right in the donut
just like tip-tocking their food making
they're like hot dogs and mac and cheese
no fucking way
you can't put a whole brick of cheese
and ground beef
you don't
you can fucking donut
but he almost
contradicts himself depending on
what you're watching like he will be like
yeah you can't put a whole block of cheese
and a whole thing of milk
and blah blah blah but then on another episode he's like
this is how you make mac and cheese
it's a whole fucking block of cheese
it's all of that shit
I did see one of those
yeah I can explain the grilled cheese thing
this guy he's like in the middle
of like
Australia he's like we're gonna
make a fucking Australian
delicacy he gets his cheese
from like a cave
three miles away cheese is
no one's ever heard of he puts the shit
on doesn't butter it on the grill
and by the time he's done he burns
it but doesn't melt the
cheese wait at the same time
first off let's circle
back to what is cave cheese
and did the cave
produce the cheese is there someone
in the cave selling cheese that they
made from cave cows
in the cave just like
what do you like to buy
he got one of his
milk at cave room and then they turned it into
like green
I mean not litter I mean it's just two random
I recently
shouldn't incorporate that into your
Lord of the Rings retake
kangaroo cheese wait
first off who's black legolas
that's your crappie
remember who we casted for black legolas
Donald Glover
oh Donald Glover would be a dope
maybe I don't
really see it as elf like but
I don't see it
hold on so real quick I just have to go
back to this because I'm just thinking
you guys are reviewing food over here
you have a lot
of hatred
people who like
that's the opposite of this guy
uh Uncle Roger
have you ever heard of Uncle Roger
he tells everyone
alright I'm gonna let you take this
if you know who Uncle Roger is
I'm just gonna say Uncle Roger is the only other competition
we have on YouTube
for fried rice podcast
so the thing
is he doesn't
really have a podcast called fried rice
podcast but he has I think he named
a video fried rice podcast or something
so anyway it's out there
have you watched him?
I haven't watched his podcast but I've seen his videos
he's very funny
so his thing is
how to make chicken fried rice
and again it's a very
simple household recipe
I travel myself through
Southeast Asia and I know
this is a very common household
dish no matter Japan
Korea, Cambodia, Vietnam
Malaysia
you're preaching to a podcast called
fried rice podcast
you're looking at me
we're a staple in every home across
all over China
but no he literally critiques
people making fried rice
like imagine him going to a
Panda Express
oh that's why I think you guys would
like him a lot but at the same
time like
I like Shoguns fried rice
where they make the butterfly and they throw it at you
whatever
Yup well done, not gonna lie
Teppanyaki
Damon over there at Shogun
Badass job
oh yeah they do the volcano
and they do like a little light show for you
egg in the hatch
anyway
for some reason
you give Keegan
Uncle Ryder
Javin gives me the vibes
that you would not have fun at Teppanyaki
that you would sit there and be like
I get it, the butter flew
you made an egg spin around you said
egg roll haha
just give me my food please
I'm over here
give me 12 more Sake bombs let's go
Sake bomb
there was a place when I was in high school
I was hanging out with this dude
and his friends in college
and we went to this place
that just didn't check ID's
and every Friday we would just go and it was sake bombs
all night long and you would just put them
on the little chopsticks and you hit the table
and it would launch them in, love it
is that how you guys do sake bombs here?
actually what I love
I love doing sake bombs
what I do love about our sake bombs here
is like you go to a Japanese restaurant
obviously it's kind of that flair
and honestly when we first
again being a beer and wine only joint
we had to be very creative
we do a lot of craft beer, we obviously do
all your classics, domestics, etc
but we also had to operate
underneath what we call
kind of what they say the loophole menu
in the industry where we're using
fermented spirits
not necessarily a wine based spirit but
with that came sake
and so sake coming into our lives
we got a lot of play with that
how do we kind of incorporate that?
well honestly my heritage
thinking of video games was
Japan, Japan made
most of these video games that I'm looking at
I mean like everything that I grew up with
SquareSoft, Square Enix
that's my jam
wait by the way we can't talk about Rebirth
not everyone has played it
all the way through and so we just gotta not talk about
Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth
why are you talking about that?
I just was saying I need to preface that
Ida, I swear to god if you ruin
Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth for me
I don't know if I can be your friend on this
I won't kick your butt, I can't
you just keep your mouth shut
about the plot details of Rebirth
we'll go back to Saki Bonds
the other thing that brings in our Saki Bonds
which is really special
Kory
Kory our man here
also brought in our gong
we have an official gong when we do
what?
can you?
yes Mike hit the gong
should we cheer it on?
yeah
gong, gong, gong, gong
gong
that was a real gong
yeah
it's a legit
I'm gonna go work at it
gong
I'm Austin Farrell here
don't worry nobody left you behind
I'm here with Javin and Keegan
as you can hear us hitting the gong
go ahead and shout
as many slurs as you want
gong
I don't think Andy's ever heard the gong before
I heard it one time and I'm like
sick
that was dope
that was a good investment
going back to the socket downs real quick
and I'm glad Idalyn
brought up the gong
it was really funny we were actually on our way to Phoenix
and we're trying to get our
liquor license all settled out as we're buying the place
and getting into it and Cory's like
what if we had a gong
well Cory's a
god damn genius
that's what I'm picking up from this is
you were lucky to partner up with Cory as I was to partner up with Austin
as you were
to partner up with Keegan
everybody knows somebody
you're all connected guys
you're so worthless but I like you
poor poor Javin
one thing I can say for sure about
I see you bro I see you
I see what you guys are putting out
there's like
one thing I can say
for sure
one thing I can say for sure about completely compromised
podcast is that I love it
when it comes on when I'm door dashing
because that's all I listen to is podcast
it's also something when I get out of the car
I have to turn the
volume down
because I hit pause but if I walk too far
away from my car and then walk back it starts playing
yep
that does it with my audiobooks
and sometimes I listen to Stephen King
all the time I listen to Stephen King but
sometimes
he
there's like a straight up
like in it right
there's a straight up child orgy
towards the end of that book right
we all know about that
I'm sorry
my bad we have to go back
he predicted Stephen Hawking's conundrum
what's that
he predicted Stephen Hawking's conundrum
Stephen Hawking's what
conundrum like on the island
who did
which island ours
you're losing this bit
wait
I forgot that Stephen Hawking
was implicated in Epstein's Island
so cause I don't really follow
but
oh yeah that's what you say
what did you say
hey good by the way
what was that
oh yeah
yeah wait fucking stop it what are we doing
we don't talk about politics
I'm taking back control
I am the captain now
I was about ready to kick you out of my bar
because of who's on the list
what kind of fucking podcast is this
no no listen
no politics in my bar everybody out
here's the thing is that
I've lost control
I will say this
the podcast did get compromised by completely compromised
it's fine
but to answer
but to answer the question
I asked
I asked chat GPT something about
Jeffrey Epstein because someone asked
me at work to ask chat GPT about something
and it was like
and it immediately was just like
nah we're not gonna
chat GPT was like nah
let's do something else
that's like the modern day hacking
it's like I don't want to
Google it but if I ask
somebody on a forum to Google it for me
and report it I won't get in trouble
no I literally asked
did Jeffrey Epstein
get murdered
and it was just like
it was just immediately
it was like
shut the fuck up
and she lost it
she lost it
chat GPT is not Google
I don't know
Google just unveiled
a new AI
and it's super woke
it's super woke
when you say generate me a picture of George Washington
it generates a picture of George Washington
anything but white
yeah
no slave teeth, no horse teeth
none of that
give me wood teeth
or slave teeth
that might be a new thing
wait what do you mean a new thing
new information
maybe because I wasn't taught about
slave teeth when I was a kid
it was all wood teeth you know that kind of bullshit
but now
where did you grow up
you said you weren't taught to grow
I was
that's one of the
he chopped down a cherry tree
told people about it
he crossed a river very handsomely
on a boat
handsomely
like Dean Neumann on the windski
great picture
great photograph
they were super yes
is George Washington
wait hold on we're getting more into politics
and history
the movie we watched
I'm taking back control let's get into this
the movie that we watched we're finally going to talk about the movie
can I go pee really quick
I can prolong this a little longer
how old are you
you know what
I identify as a princess
princess is getting old
cross your legs
is it the same design
in the princess design
there's only one way to find out princess
there's only one thrown in one rim bro
oh
it would be identical
I want to go in there though
is there more peach stuff on the wall
princess peach
you can put a part back
do you guys ever do cosplay stuff here
like cosplay nights
we do
we do theme nights
yes
we do cosplay for sure
Corey have you ever been to a comic con
yeah we're actually
be quiet
I love you but
in two weeks
fried rice podcast is doing another live
show at the kingman comic con
if you're not dressed up
I'm going to be highly disappointed
last time I did
last time I did a red stripe down my face
kind of scared me a little bit too
like Chris Hemsworth S. Thor
and everyone kept calling
me Kratos the whole way
old man Kratos
well they didn't know them right
they didn't know them I kept telling them
and showing them pictures and they still were like
I'm not going to lie I've lived in
Lake Havasu City for 10 years
10 years
living in Lake Havasu City
and I never heard that Kingman
had a comic con it was just the first one
just in December
so I miss it yeah but the next one
the next one is in two weeks
16 they're really like
going hard
they're going to make me do another one
I'm going to be there we're doing the podcast
so just meet us
I love to see you there
Kev I wasn't going to mention this to you guys
but I thought that would be cool if you guys showed up
to Kingman Comic Con as like
a vendor and like roll out
one pinball machine or something
bring your Avengers
show them the glitch coins
give out some glitch coins
instead of the red light licking
I don't know what the game abilities were but
Kingman is a wholesome community
this is all the nerds from around the
Tri-State area coming
I didn't lose any from Kingman last time I went
my mother lives in Kingman
hey let's not talk shit about Kingman we're going to be on there
in Comic Con today
I'm trying to defend it
it's ok this episode will be released
after we left
we're literally
talking about how we want to go see Superman
with one tooth what that would look like
so the movie
that we all
were forced
to watch thanks to fucking
Austin
slipstream to steel
steel stream baby
terrifying tune
oh my god
was steel 1997
starring
Shaquille O'Neal
and oh
it's not steel 2016
which we watched about 25 minutes of before
realizing it was a gay porn
basically
I mean we thought the first gay porn scene in the
very beginning was just tone
like setting a general fucking
setting
typical military action
I literally watched a rockumentary on Steely Dan
for about 30 minutes
Annabeth Gish
we're all familiar with her
she plays Susan Sparks Sparky
the best handshake
in all of cinema
those two
we had Judd Nelson
from
the Breakfast Club
can we see that music
hey hey hey
don't you
forget about me
don't
don't don't don't
don't you
that character that's Judd Nelson
if he never did Breakfast Club
if he just didn't show up and skipped it
that's what happened
he got shipped away to
military school
what's the best part
of Breakfast Club
and why is it the part where she needs
snow for her picture so she just shakes
out her fucking dandruff
and just calls it a fucking day
the best part is when Molly
doing anything is special
but when she makes the sandwich with the
chips in it
that's just
real nostalgia
that probably gets your nostalgia boner going
how do you know any
because it's sandwich and chips
that's like
that's all I see going on in your brain
your brain is just a sandwich
just in a comfy 90s
television
it wasn't even the punchline
I hate it
you're right
man we should have reviewed
Breakfast Club Austin
we are we're doing it right now
anybody who watches
off the show is going to get a
sandwich apology it's a Breakfast Club apology
plus you have to make that sandwich and eat it
can I make
real quick
I didn't know that we were going to do a cast
intro to this but I did actually
make in my notes that
obviously Judd Nelson
playing Lieutenant Nathaniel Burke
being Breakfast Club
the intro scene did you not know
he could not keep his eyes off the redhead
who does like
never appear in the movie again
I was like dude he has a thing for redheads
I will say
answer the question
that is the most
subtle reference to anything
in this movie that is the
light touch I wish they would have put
on all their other
very blatant
fucking things that they
the references that they make if all
of it was like oh did you notice Judd
Nelson was checking out the redhead that
could be in relation to Breakfast Club
or if it was like oh shaft
the guy that played shaft is really
admiring the shaft on fucking
hammer
how
what a subtle light touch
that could have been
can I just point out the very beginning of the movie
after that really long
foundry intro
I'm so sick at
looking at machines do things
and then it cuts to a forest
and you just see trees coming down like
something is coming and in the beginning I thought it
was Shaq but it turned out to be a tank
I wrote and then the first
line is my ass is on
fire
that's how you know you have a good movie
hold on real quick
let's not lie okay so you see this movie
coming in it's right after Batman
obviously really topped the charts
with actually returns
Tim Burton, God
coming in with those two sequels
two movies back to back
and then you have this coming
in and the music hits so damn
hard and you already know you've seen
the trailer hold on
but do you not think that they were like
it's Danny Elfman and they're like
can we just add a little shaft to that
because it gets so
funk it's like
it's like
it sounded
it got real sexual
I was hoping
this would open with how steel is
made
and then followed up
oh great set to a fucking
70s porn soundtrack is what I wrote
literally Danny Elfman
but Shaq
I was like great, steel
let's see the literal creation
steel set to
fucking porn soundtrack and see
what happens
when we got to the factory I was like what are these models
doing at a factory
checking out Shaq
what's up babes
that was not Oshas standard equipment of where
by the way
we're not allowed
to do that
and then it cuts to
the guys who run the
arcade no foreshadowing
here
there's arcade
machines R&B
and RPGs
within
one minute of each other all those things
there's R&B playing
they're rolling in arcade machines along
with RPGs hidden inside
the arcade I don't even think we got through the cast
we got through two people in the cast
and then we're already talking about
how about Mr. Jared
yeah so Richard
Roundtree who plays Shaft
he is Shaft and is
Shaft also in the Shaft reboot
he's just older Shaft and
also makes a mention of the Shaft
of the fucking hammer
god damn man you caught that
well no I don't think anyone
alive at the time when this movie came out
could have missed
that's the most
even as a kid I think I knew who Shaft
was and I knew that that guy was Shaft
and then we had Ray J
Ray J
the guy that fucked Kim Kardashian
in that porn tape and made her
famous before she got
with Kanye played that little
kid who I apparently
was his brother
I thought
four fucking shirk little cousin
or something because the age difference
between Shaft and that fucking
kid
that kid gave Kim Kardashian the Shaft
yes it's all connected
you haven't seen the video
wow
and then Ima P Hall
which sounds like a fake name
you would give a bar when you called
him to see like is Ima P Hall
there
she played the grandma who couldn't make a souffle
well Ray J's got an album
called Radiation so he's the true artist
real quick going back to cast
I have a question who
was the shitty version of Dr. Drey
also in
Thunderdome from Mad Max
are we talking about the one eyed fucking gangster
the pirate dude
that was Hill Harper
this motherfucker
this has to be him
what is he from we don't play the IMDB
game anymore but
he's from CSI New York
he did just name drop him though
he's from 1982
oh the skulls fuck yeah
remember that movie I didn't notice
right away I mean we're gonna get into
the movie it's like Paul Walker and Joshua Jackson
skulls there's some serious vibes
and I was like man you really miss
NWA don't you
have we talked about the director yet
are the director and writer? no
yeah fuck
every time
every time we bring up IMDB
Mr. Kenneth Johnson
oh he was in this
he made like the incredible hole
yeah no no so Kenneth Johnson
he did the Bionic
Woman TV show which is more
known for than fucking
Steel I think not
The Curse of Dracula
1979
TV show Alien Nation
he did the V
reboot which
V for Bandera?
no V the oh and he did the original V
V's not bad
it was a TV mini series about
aliens kind of they live
mixed with
it's pretty good
it's not bad V is pretty good
nostalgia you like V?
alright man I can't wait until you wrap
this up because I got a little piece on
I did my research on this director
and then I said Short Circuit 2
did he do the Short Circuits?
Short Circuit 2
guess what Mighty Duckie did?
the third one
so apparently
this guy is not good
they were like hey jump
that shark for me and he
was like I'll direct that
he literally like lost up
everyone shut your
mouth because he did Xenon Girl
of the 21st century
and that was my 1999 jam
I would have been
12 at the time which is probably
the exact age Xenon and all of her
girl problems when she was going through
I wanted to be part of that boy band
that she was obsessed with and I wanted to go to the moon
at the space station that they
were on and I wanted to be her intergalactic
you know be my intergalactic
girl like that was zoom zoom zoom
you make my heart go boom boom
supernova girl
I'm over here watching
Heavy Metal
oh he did Short Circuit 2 you're absolutely right
he did the incredible Hulk
he did some of that
he had a lot of Lou Ferrigno time
wait Jennifer Connelly? Jennifer Connelly?
no no Lou Ferrigno
oh no no Jennifer Connelly
then he did Steal, Xenon
and Don't Look Under the Bed
I think he got better as he went on as a
director and then
Mighty Ducks 3 dude
they increased how much cocaine he had in the right of Mighty Ducks
I love how you just instantly skip over Mighty Ducks 3
you're like think about the cocaine
now is Mighty Ducks 3 the one where they go against the Russians?
I think that's the one where they go like fucking like street skating right?
don't they like go hit the hood?
they all open with an element of street skating with rollerblades
they're either going through a mall
or they're getting up to some shenanigans
have you watched the original?
tell me if there's a part of it
I've watched it
tell me if there's a pair of rollerblades in the first movie
yeah
doesn't he meet the bash brothers
while they're playing outside
with rollerblades in the alley?
Jamie?
Goddamn
don't they meet Keenan Thompson?
don't they meet Keenan Thompson playing street hockey?
no no that's definitely the second on the rooftop
okay okay
I'm just gonna go through my notes really quick
it's really short
just so I can get through
we're taking our time with this
it's a process
I will say this he said the first
the first line of the movie was
my ass is on fire
and the response to that I actually wrote down which was
I can smell nuts roasting
so we know we're in for a
is this movie made for children
or is this movie made for adults
there's a few things throughout here
like the introduction of nazis halfway through
I was like oh
yeah
yeah the skinheads out of nowhere
that was interesting
I was like holy shit no way
they want to get those RPGs
within the RPGs
thank god they didn't go to the arcade
they have the lamest
handshake of all time
the E.T.
it borderlines demolition man
what's the demolition man one
B-Wa
you really don't know movies do you
okay
you run a podcast
for movies
nice to see you
and everybody that's Ida
Lynn
love you Ida
see me
see you again my guy
so I do know movies
I don't remember the handshake
I remember the seashells
that's what everyone
yes they had the handshake which was
you put it up
and you did that
there we go
did you feel the energy though
I don't believe any of that holistic bullshit
I wanted to wait till we were
I wanted to wait till we were low
demolition man
where Taco Bell rules the world
after the franchise wars
sorry
continue
I got notes
we're not done yet
I just put the
oh
okay
this is what I didn't understand throughout the whole
motivation of this movie
you have breakfast club
Judd Nelson
he takes the senator lady
and he leans her down underneath the tank
and he's like guess what
we made this shit way better than we're letting on
if you put it to the max it's like
super powerful and she's like
that's fucking awesome
and then put it to the max and then so he
secretly does it right
instead of just openly just telling
any of the generals there hey by the way
this thing goes even higher we haven't
tested it yet maybe we should focus on that
this shit's amazing it's super powerful
he doesn't have to hide shit but he did
and then he was sneaky and that's the whole fucking
the whole channel since movie
could have been avoided had he just been a little bit more
patient like it just never tested it
I mean it pretty much blew a guy's eyeball out
I mean is that right
when he was when he didn't have government resources
he was a way the government
was better having him on their side
there's something you don't hear
very often
so it's basically Elon
Musk he's better if he's
on the government side it's better if
the government has control over him
instead of him then go working for
some arcade arcade owners
especially the talent man
they were shitty arcade owners
and I'll speak from experience
yeah
oh
when it's like
when he left the army
and he's going
leaving to go
and he's in his civvies and he's going to go live somewhere
I'm like sweet
somewhere DC is he gonna go to Gotham
is he gonna go to star city
and then it's just I'm surprised
they didn't do the California
but it's like he gets the fucking LA
and I'm like fuck
there's too many super heroes in LA
no there's the west coast avengers
but that's Marvel
Hancock's it's own
thing
in DC I don't know who's
rocking the west coast I don't know who's in
LA or and I also don't
know what the LA DC city is
like metropolis is
well yeah
well New York and Chicago is
Gotham and if they were way closer
to each other if they were just across the river
from each other and according to the Lego
game if they were just right next to each other
which I'm okay with
Gotham is Detroit and then
metropolis is Vancouver
different country
okay not like that
that does explain a lot
of the Dr. Dory references though
to the California song that you heard
yeah they made so many
fucking California references
it was a very much thunderdome situation on some of those
scenes so why is
so much leather for gangsters
oh god that purple gangster
gang and eye patches and shit
wallet check I'll tell you exactly what happened
that main guy
with the eye patch lost his
eye somehow probably a disease
something he's not proud of like
pink eye they had he didn't he didn't
he was too gangster to go to the hospital
so they had to scoop his eye out or something
just real fucking weird and he's embarrassed
about it so he's like fuck it you join
my gang bondage leather
we just go the whole pirate theme
yeah
oh shit
the pirate guy that shagged like
intersets
that's the one where they scoop out their left eye
the one dude
his lazy eye is
the left eye or the right eye
so he's like can I scoop
out the right eye instead they're like
no
oh that was fucked up
the pirate henchman he goes into
where'd you get these guns
everything shag says in
this movie is like where did you get these
guns I want these guns and then
he's like holding BDSM
Morpheus like by the neck
where did you get these guns
and then he
in real life he would have been killed
right there
we got them from the arcade
I don't know who Kodiak Bear is
Kodiak Bear
a big black bear
it done better
the whole scene where
they do their first
bank robbery with Shaxx weapons
crazy with Shaxx weapons
to say that
the first thing you see is that
bad ass fucking Humvee
that holds up that's a bad ass Humvee
it comes around the corner
and it's coming at the screen but then
in the background you just see a guy in a wheelchair
wheel and bod
did it look like
I noticed that too
that's a preamble to the
disability vibe of this whole movie
that's not live
I thought that was a weird thing
oh my god
they just nearly missed that girl in the wheelchair
oh my gosh
I noticed that too I didn't write it down
because I thought
why would I bring that up
I noticed that the fucking wheelchair guy
but you're absolutely right the way it's shot
they just they couldn't do another take
they couldn't do a take where it didn't look like
when the van came around and whipped a homeless guy
in a wheelchair out
behind it it looked like that guy was like
skidding behind the car
and when he made the corner just let go
and he just zoomed on us
you know how many takes it took to get that shot
sure yeah one
that's what we were going for
when Shaxx starts coming home
and his brother in the street there's a guy wearing
the exact same clothes as Shaxx behind him
and I was like they literally just like were like hey
get your stunt double and have him walk across the street
to make it look good
it looked like a shitty version of San Andreas
if you look the clothing
yeah that's exactly what it is
we had purple gang we had
just bright
just neutral color
that Shaxx no logos
nothing just ripped
oh god the free throws
the fucking free throws
was it not yellow and purple
Laker colors from the gangs
I don't think it was you did have the man of steel tattoo
there was purple I don't know if there was a yellow one
because Nazis went with the typical Nazi
regime
which one?
I forget the name of the movie but Tyga was in it
they all dressed in yellow
I forget what that's called too
they only have like one scene of Tyga
is that drum line?
I put
at one point Shaxx says
oh they're going to
hang and I'm like is that okay?
for heaven's sake
is that okay?
even if it's a black dude saying about other
black dudes are you allowed to make hanging
jokes about black dudes?
I was disturbed
one of the ones that I had one and again like being from
social work background everything is like alright
right out of the gate they're like where do we
find her? Obviously talking about Sparky
like they relocated her
to St. Louis I'm like shut up that's where
I'm born and raised by the way so then they
show a shot of the arch then they show
a shot of the
shittiest
it's like here's St. Louis
hallelujah
hallelujah I love Jesus
it's kind of like that
the whole soundtrack is gospel music
mixed with porn music
other than the intro with Danny Elfman and Shaft
it's porn music
meets fucking gospel music
from a choir I even wrote my next note is
love the gospel music
they show up at this nursing
home and there's this
it's a VA
yeah
have you been to St. Louis and seen the VA
wait we're talking about
the one armed guy playing ping pong
and she was sitting there looking at the
window? That was a VA hospital
cause he's a VA
I was like what is this place?
well they cut his arm off cause he was too good
Shaft just came in here
and told Sparks I need you for something
and she's like no and he picks her up
and just carries her out
he smashes window
everyone cheers him on
he smashes a window, kidnaps a woman
she's screaming no
no put me down
he's a big black guy
it's the 90's and you're telling me
a capped white woman in front of you
a seven foot
black guy
and you're saying that's a tripled white woman
he's a famous basketball player
a perfect example of Shaq privilege
is that you can do that shit if you're Shaq
like just being
Shaq chasing the guy in the beginning
is just like being chased
by Shaq must be absolutely terrifying by the way
this guy has a laser gun and he
decides to run away from Shaq
he doesn't shoot him till the end
there's something about running
from Shaq that the closer he gets
I bet the size of him doesn't
really register until he's right up on you
and he looks like a giant
you know what I mean?
you see the video of the knife where it shows Shaq's eyes
and it has bullet holes
and they built a whole knife and saw Shaq
I don't know like 13 inch blade on it
that fits his hand with the handle
I saw MTV Cribs where it showed
his regular car that they had to
fucking move his seat
the whole person length back just so he could sit in it
they cut a car in half and add it
yeah, it's nuts
I think the original voice of the arcade guys
that one guy just like as a
the long haired blonde guy
was his name Dan by the way
cause I was trying to figure out what the name
of the arcade was all about, Dan-tastic
oh is that what it was? Dan-tastic?
the name of the arcade was Dan-tastic
the whole arcade cover story was a little weird
hear me out on this
we all watched Ninja Turtles
yeah
and that was one of the coolest scenes in my childhood
was watching the foot clan
have a fucking half pipe
playing narc on the arcade
asking them does he want
a carton of Marlboro
or does he want a menthol or regular
and I'm like Jesus dude
this is like, I mean again
this is basically like child labor in America
China is way different
you just have half pipes and arcades
and right away when I saw the
arcade I was like okay this is very
very more New York than like
I was expecting
well I'm sorry
LA versus New York
New York was more of the turtles sorry
New York was turtles, sewers
gritty on the streets
exactly like what I was thinking
from Ninja Turtles 1
this one was like straight up like
Silicon Valley
this long haired blonde guy was taking
potential at risk gang youth
and giving them employment
at his arcade
which they all seemed to really enjoy
because at one point
Shaq's brother was like
hey remember that prototype game
I got over there? He's like yeah that's really neat
I think it's really cool that it runs on processors
why don't you go check it out
hell yeah
yeah, hell yeah
I know that he was doing it to be
evil to get
Shaq's brother under his control
but at the same time the other kids seem
to be doing fine
maybe he shouldn't have been smuggling weapons
the weapons were in the computer
now is that the most practical
in 1997
is it a practical way to ship weapons
via arcade machines? Are you moving
enough product that
you'd be able to push
thousands of guns across the country
hold on
I'm going to jump in here
hell yeah
absolutely I think that would have been
absolutely a great way to
smuggle drugs, contraband
weapons, whatever back in the day
you got to look at the industry of
arcades from the late
70's and early 80's
all the way even to when it entered
where actually
pinball machines were outlawed
did you guys know that?
I didn't know about that
I didn't
thank you Oscar
we can
we'll bump this to the top
because it's a pinball
joke, bump
isn't that the bump thing?
alright
is there a thing called bump in pinball?
bumpers, pop bumpers
no, oh tilt
tilt is what I meant to say
now I see the error
your way
so anyway
here's the real deal though
being a coin op just like
anything else is always under the scrutiny of the government
everybody's always looking at like how
can we profit, monetize
etc. from all angles
and you know it's not
just a gumball machine where you put a quarter in
you get something out of it
so when they started going into some of them
they literally thought, you know the original
pinball machine by the way is more like Pachinko
had no, I mean
they were set up just like that
flat table, set it vertical like in Japan
but they had no flippers
you would plunge the ball and hence
the term
tilt, hey
don't patronize me
continue with your
history lesson, but don't you
patronize me
you would budget the shit out of this machine
you would try to make it do what you wanted
it was like plinko with like manipulation
and then eventually they added flippers to it
and then but that was the term tilt but
it became illegal, they thought it was a form
of gambling
they actually had a
couple court cases that went on through
Chicago which is where Stern
pinball is out of and still resides
and it's kind of the mecca
and hub because eventually yeah they
had to put this in a supreme court ruling
and a guy was like, we call it
the Babe Ruth shot, the guy
basically convinced a
pure of his, their jurors
and everything like that
this is a game of skill, if I do this
it'll light this shot
if I hit that lit shot it'll
warm me that many points and if I do
this next then there you go, it's very
different than gambling and so
get into the supreme court
yeah absolutely, there's actually a pinball
documentary on it, I can't remember
I think it's called Pinball Wizard
there's a song about that though
let's not talk about
the wizard
how did a deaf dumb blind kid
play pinball?
he said he played by sense
of smell in the song
and I don't think that's possible
I would say feel before smell
I can smell that ball coming
but anyway so
just off the tangent
cuff there, going back to the
idea of having the arcades
when Austin picked this movie I'm not
going to lie I was a little bit like
I'm down with the 90's
but then when I saw there were smuggling
weapons and arcades I was like I'd believe it
there was a mass
movement, think about how many arcades
you had, you had them at bowling alleys
you had them at every mall, you had them at
every laundromat
I mean back in the day
they were
everywhere, they were like
more than phone booths
so this was actually as far as movies go, a genius plot
then my next
note is
I especially like the shaft
because I guess that was in my mind
we had the whole secret building project
where somehow shaft built a whole
8 foot tall
iron suit
they didn't know about
they built a whole electromagnetic
super hammer he didn't know about
and yet the whole time they're all working together
for like a week, they're literally
meeting up every single day, they're just working
on shit, not talking to each other about what they're
working on, and yet somehow
come up with a perfect combo
where like one of them is like, I made a weapon
sick, I made a suit, let's go
but they do a lot
of head nodding and pointing to each other
oh yeah, that's a montage
and what's sick is
more steel making
I was really hoping in the middle of
the...
that helmet really squeezed his face like
awkwardly, right?
it looked so bad
it still looks better
did you guys see any, did any games
catch your eye in the arcade? I know NBA Jam
NBA Jam, yeah
NBA Jam was a big one
also Batman Forever
an atrocious machine
actually
ostracized from the whole arcade
community before the cabinet
built itself, and then the other one
that I did see, and I had to
do like three glimpses, and I was like
it sucks on your phone to try to be like
three seconds
but was WrestleMania
they had WWF WrestleMania on the main entrance
before they get in the elevator
that's dope
can we talk about the look of the arcade now?
I mean, when I think of an arcade from the 90s
I don't think of like, where you'd meet
an office space arcade
what the fuck? I said New York
mistakenly, but he corrected me, he's like no
in LA
no, that's an arcade in LA
we're arcade games, but it did not look like that
no, no, no
I was just making fun of LA
not you, god, I'm hugging
by the way, for the people listening, I'm hugging him
I'm not trying to pick on Andy
and for the people listening, I've said repeatedly
I have a big germaphobe thing like
Howie Mandel, and I hate being touched by other people
so
that's okay
do you want me to do it again?
I thought Bell Ringer Guy
broke you of that
Bell Ringer Guy walked into my house, took his shirt off immediately
and just sat down on my couch bare chested
and broke all my comfort zones
immediately
and then he just was a gravitational
force that was inside my house
what a power move
I wish this was a telethon
I would beg people to pay me right now
he's nuts
you started your new only
oh yeah, but how did they do this project
without anyone seeing
so, was this movie made for kids?
I don't think so
at some point he's like
sometimes something's down
you gotta turn it up
and then at some point she's like
oh shit
and then they introduce Nazis at one point
this is rated PG?
they're talking about jerk it off
porn at the computer
they do!
how are we gonna get these parts
the same way we do any other
how are we gonna get the information
the internet
it's better for just porn you know
it's more than just porn
and that was like
Etsy, I mean that was like the original
Etsy for like firearms apparently
they're like I made this
so they're like someone's gonna crochet
this and this and that
I think it was made for kids whose parents
are just discovered spice
I think that's kind of their target
spice the thing you smoke?
yeah
or the channel, cause it's the 90's
yeah spice like the battle-eyed TV stuff
oh shit
I want to go back to that though
when I first saw the
title and me and
Gory even going into this
watched the trailer and were like alright
what are we getting into
I thought I was watching like
Air Bud with Shaq
with like maybe
maybe like a superhero vibe
and it was not
you're right
you brought that up there was a lot of profanity
this is not
this is not a made for kids movie
this is a solid
PG-13 project
that is made for kids
this was also an era when we smoked
in McDonald's
pretty much
this is the same
in doing this the burger thing
I know dude
wait wait I'm taking control again I'm the captain now
we're all getting crazy
I do need to get away
so then
so then he does his first night of crime fighting
okay he goes out there he stops that
bank robbery or
oh oh is this the
electromagnetic scene
no this is where he operly just backs onto the escalator
he's like
he's like here's your shit
y'all have a nice night
and then like
they save him later on in the movie and the police
but then the police chase him
down and the amount of damage
that he does to I don't know
if it was his first one or the second one
the second part where he's running from
the cops he drops about
ten thousand nails on the fucking street
which is going to
damage so many cars
especially the guy in the wheelchair
those are called the how trucks
10g2
playstation taught me that
he used a laser
he used a laser to just destroy a
city work truck to get the water
to come out
the guy ducked the city worker
with a hat on his head
he was like ducking
I wrote down this is the first
this is the first superhero movie
that makes me glad
that vigilanteism is illegal
in real life because I wouldn't
want a steal running around
yeah just destroying your city
to save it
I think it was San Francisco or whatever
he was running around
there's a whole
he has a league
he has a league of real life superheroes
where they dress up like
not like cosplay
they dress up in like
tactical body armor or whatever
are you talking about Phoenix Jones?
yep Phoenix Jones
and his league of fucking
shout out to Phoenix Jones
are we allowed to say that?
no wait yeah we can
because they're not gentlemen
well they might be
but didn't he get his ass kicked a lot?
yeah
he was like he based his whole life off this movie
oh you think it was steel
that got him poked on it?
was it really though?
his suit looks fairly similar to steel
like you know Batman kind of ass
I'm glad you bring up the Batman thing
oh yeah I wrote this down too
because here's the thing
it says the one cop turns to the other cop
and he goes where do you think he went?
the bat cave?
and I'm thinking alright here we go
let's stop I paused the movie
because I had to think about this for a second
how the fuck one does a cop in LA
why is he thinking about Batman?
does Batman exist in this
universe?
so this is now canonically DC
we had the Superman tattoo
or was it the steel tattoo?
because he is steel
it played into it
it was a weird like did they not have the
rights to any
DC shit other than
I do want to say though before he went
in the cave this is the most confusing part
of this whole movie for me
he gets backed into an alleyway and literally
runs into a pile of trash to hide
and then he comes out with his fucking
motorcycle
like it just appeared
they didn't build a motorcycle he just rode out of a pile of
trash
how many cc's is the motorcycle the
power shack?
it's a stunt guy on the motorcycle
is this a motorcycle made for ants?
I know
but literally the bike comes out
of the trash
and that was the most confusing part
maybe he rode it everywhere
just out of your ass
here's the motorcycle
dude you'd be surprised how fat people can ride motorcycles
I mean you'll see like some guy the size of
Pluto and he'll get on this tiny moped
and he remains bound
I was like get his fucking world records
the largest swans in the world rode the
tiniest rockers
so going back to the
the whole Batman vibe
and I've always had this beef and again
like you know
Bruce Wayne badass
persona and I see where they were trying
to mock it obviously from the get go
my first comment was Danny Elfman doing
the music so
but
this moment
they fucking show it
he can get hurt in the face
he gets a scuff on the chin
and then there's a scene him taking fucking
crotch shots with fucking AKS
and fucking Supernatural
and I'm like
wait a minute you know
where you like scuffed him with your like
knuckle
you could have shot him in the face
the worst part of the whole movie
battle with DC
shoot him in the face
well you could shoot Batman in the head
I'm pretty sure and kill Batman
we don't know what his cow is made of
do we?
but I will say this
Shaft the fact that
he has that one vulnerable weakness
which is the bottom half of his face
the fact that they had to damage
him up somehow and they gave him
just a little tiny cut on his chin
was so fucking horrible
you're gonna have to roll the tapes back
at this point but I love that we've all
called him Shaft
multiple fucking times
you just did it, I did it earlier
and you're gonna have to count
and that should be a drinking game
call our voicemail
go to friedricepodcast.com
our voicemail is down on the bottom
leave us how many Shafts versus Shaxx
versus Shafts have there been in this
in this podcast
so how the cop
did he know that? I put deterrent
nails in the fucking road are you kidding me
I'm a delivery driver
I actually drove over a bunch of nails once
they fell off the back of a truck
I'm assuming
but there was just a bunch of nails in the fucking road
it's the worst
they came out of his bike somehow
just hiding on to him
oh I was driving
James Bond on a
jigsaw you know
James Bond on a jigsaw you know
but
so much
stupider
then we get the free
infomercial which I thought was pretty smart for the bad guys
but it shows
all the various
oh here's some Asian dudes
and then Nazis
and then just fucking Nazis
full blown Nazi flag
skin heads at the computer
ready to go, I'm like
holy shit
this is our only home front of our own terror
everybody else is foreign terror
wait what
there are people from other countries
wait
there's just too many conversations going on
what did you say Austin?
I said I was watching this movie not expecting to see
a swastika in it
oh no, that's when you knew it was not
a children movie
this isn't Air Budwist with Shaq
this is now a fucking complicated
complicated
commentary on war
with Nazis
completely a Shaq vehicle
it was some movie, if you casted this movie
say there's no cast
and you shove the script in a desk somewhere
and bring it up 30 years later
Shaq needs a vehicle, what do we have?
we have steel, okay put Shaq in there
that's what this movie was
yeah, someone wrote it in the
70s when the concept of
steel was introduced
lasers are crazy
I'm pretty sure it was Bionic Woman
whatever, fuck I'm the director
no, he did Bionic Woman
the reboot series I think
that was like 2000 something
that was bad
I don't think he did the original
he had Luke Farigno in his background
back in the 70s
I don't know man, he had a lot of quiver
we all watch that Hulk show
I know that one of the funniest
bits in this entire movie
oh so funny, was the 3
or 4 times that he tried to make a free throw
yeah
like holy fucking shit
which time? The time where he had the
longest grenade fuse ever made
that's what I just wrote
grenade throw was
fucking awful, but
first confirmed
Shaq kill
he straight up murdered whoever he dropped
cause that guy's like
oh, and he's probably about to say the F-bomb
he's like, oh
and then just blows up
however, have you ever played the
video game Sega Genesis
Shaq-Fu
that's a whole different fucking ballgame
what the hell was Shaq
saying
in the first 10 minutes of the movie they almost
drop an N-bomb
how?
when they get to the argument after the court hearing
like the little
the evil guy
he's like, Shaq, you dirty
and he just almost says it
and then he rips his teeth and he just
walks away
I was like, no way
did we get any N-bombs from any of the
any of the characters talking to anybody
no
I was gonna say
yeah, I had that
she was about ready to drop
N-bombs
that's why I called it
it was what the guy was typing on the computer
just over and over and over again
just the N-word
alright, here's my 1000 N-words for the day
that'll get me through my
like Bart Simpson on Chalkboard
can we give some props to the director though
for going with John Henry
as a stretch to being
his hammer was his weapon
we can give that credit to the people that
created Steel, the character
the DC Comics character
his name is John Henry
and his whole thing is he has a hammer
and he's a...
so this is based on a comic book
this is based
so this is
based on an actual
he's a Superman
character
is your phone background?
it looks cooler there
I'll show you an even cooler picture
this one
this is probably one of the coolest pictures of Steel and Steel
wow, they did not do it justice
no, that's what I'm saying
Steel is actually pretty fucking badass
if he's allowed to be
it's like Superman built the railroads
Aliumium, man
what was that?
it's like Superman built the railroads
oh, I guess that works
yeah, cause with the hammer
so this was supposed to be based on a comic book
that's why they make the Batman reference
so that's why it's not just
a reference to Batman
it's like
it's establishing that this exists
in the DC universe
which is just fucking weird
and it happens again because someone
else says Batman or something
and so when he shows off his Superman tattoo
again
that's not just he has a Superman
tattoo that they decided to show
for one receipt
it's literally he's the man of
Steel, it's what his name is too
I know that
like a nickname or not
he does
they didn't pay him enough to get rid of it
he has a tattoo
they don't touch it up even
but, so anyway
Steel is one of the three or four
I think people that help
take over Superman's role
after Superman gets killed by Doomsday
in the original comics
Doomsday kills Superman
you get Superboy
who's a clone made by Lex Luthor
you get Cyborg Superman
you get Steel
and you get, I think there was another one
another weird
Superman, but there's like
there was a bunch of ones, Steel of course
wasn't like a copy
he was just trying to take
he was trying to do good because Superman was gone
the other ones were trying to like
take over as the next Superman
they all thought they had a stake to it
Steel was actually just the one that was just like
hey man, I'm just here to fucking rescue people
because Superman's not around
yeah, I'll shut you
so, Steel is cool
but this movie
but this movie was
so it's one of the worst
superhero movies
is it worse than Man Thing?
oh god, no, it's not worse than Man Thing
I would watch Steel
you did not miss Man Thing, Mike
yeah, this movie did not make you miss Man Thing
the most American made movie of all time
shot in Australia
shit
in the Florida swamps of Australia
in the swamps of Australia
yeah, the Florida swamps of Australia, wherever
I don't know if this is
like traditional, like part of the
podcast, but I
thought it would be fun
favorite quotes of the movie
because I've got two of them
okay, alright, let's
go for it, let's hear yours and then we're going to go around the table
just know the first two, let's go
first two
dipped in shit and rolled in breadcrumbs
yeah
I think that's everybody's
come on, because they referred to grandma's cooking
even, I was like wow
dipped in shit and rolled in breadcrumbs
very motivational
eat the hot dog
don't be one
eat the hot dog
I feel like that should be like the cat hanging on a clothesline
you're like
that should be a hot dog hanging on a clothesline
I was like more like on the grill
yeah
when did
at what point in the conversation when it was
when it was eyepatch and
I guess Judd Nelson
when they were talking on the park bench
did he say something about pork
because I missed that
so it was what the hot dog was made of
did the guy say is this pork
he said it was a turkey dog instead of a pork
got it, and then at the end
the big bird was, it was pork
and then he kills him or tries to kill him
and then, yeah
definitely lays him to waste
oh so they poisoned him with a hot dog
he's a vegetarian
he said I didn't want to eat pork
no, it might be religious reasons
maybe he's Jewish
so he was probably Jewish
the eyepatch guy
this show can't be what race is
I'm just going to say
it was kind of just a nod
fuck you
yeah, but the fuck you
it was pork, and he didn't want to eat pork
so that's a pretty good bird, that's a pretty sick bird
the only other one that I have
and I don't know if you guys have done this movie
I'm not going to spoil it
but from the Punisher, the original one
Thomas Jane
oh, when he's sitting there
and he's like I'm going to get my
applesauce back
that was a very very raw
reference, I don't know
maybe I should have just watched the Punisher
to really feel the applesauce line
because it's almost like if you haven't seen
There Will Be Blood, how about that scene
where he's like I'll take your milkshake
remember that?
the straw with the milk in the milkshake thing
am I wrong?
There Will Be Blood with Daniel Day-Lewis
I guess you do watch movies
everybody else is fucking in the dark
yeah, fuck you, I don't know movies
yeah
he's giving his baby like Jack Daniel
I was like it's awesome
they arrest him and put him in jail
and then they use voice AI
to like pretend to be the prosecutor
or district attorney
to release him
Jack's in jail
but they arrested him
and he had the fucking laser gun
and like C4 detonator
wasn't that the smoking gun
they found the gun in his apartment
they're like alright, we got him
here's the gun, he's in jail
everyone just doesn't notice him
which I kind of like, that's the sort of Spider-Man moment
where he takes off his mask in the subway
and they all got his back, right
so like I like that
not Family Matters cop
also
not Carl Winslow
but close enough
no, that's also Carl Winslow
and it's not him
well that earns me a bathroom break
I was saying
not Carl Winslow
it's not
it's not that actor, it looks just like him
it's not him before or after he shot that kid
in Die Hard
no, okay
no, this is not him
a very problematic part of Die Hard
but we
where were we going
we were on favorite quotes
what was yours
I don't remember exactly what he says
before the final fight he like wheels out
the wheelchair girl
and he's like I could just be done with this crippled bitch
or whatever and just be done with it
whatever he says
this crippled bitch, I remember that
he's like I would just be done
I'd throw away this crippled bitch and move on with my life
what are you doing Shaq
that's yeah
that's great
at the end of the final fight, it's not like a quote
I don't remember what she says, but when she like blasts off
in the wheelchair
and she's got the rockets
oh my god
when she's doing the whole Roman Candles spin around
blowing shit up move
and then she speeds off
oh no I wrote that down, what was it
that's the one you can't read
she's just gonna throw rockets on her chair
it is, it's the one I wrote over
but she says
is this quick enough for you
and then she hits the nitro
and barely goes any faster
I'm like no
not much faster
and I'm glad we're bringing this up
into the wheelchair part at the end of the movie
because again, my background was
we didn't even get to the end part of the wheelchair
where her special modification
that lets her stand up
well that's what we're getting
what the fuck
my background again, having a little bit of social work
I'm like I know ADA law
and there is no way they're opening a fucking
restaurant covering a fucking
walkway right there on a main street
in Chicago, or I'm sorry LA
with a girl who's
actually operating a wheelchair
like that does not seem awkward
there's an entire block
entire walkway
down the city block
but the girl wearing the wheelchair
has got the new modifications
that does not make any sense to me
that's, they're literally
no she stands
hold on, hear me out though
the Clinton administration, they put the ADA
law in it, it didn't even exist then
that's why, I'm just kidding
how about the more pressing concern of
so Shaq 100%
robbed a few of those banks
when he went to go help, right?
because where the fuck did grandma
what's her face get the money to open up a restaurant
she was just working on soufflés
in the ghetto
just fucking doing shit, right?
whatever, and then all of a sudden
Shaq saves the day a few times
near some banks
and then all of a sudden she's able
to open up a
which no bank would ever greenlight
a soul food
french cuisine fusion
cafe
everything she said
sounded great
I was down, what's at the end she said
something about, it was like
lobster served out of the shell
with a sweet potato
puree, cream
and a something
and I was like, that sounds fucking good
what was the name of the restaurant she wanted to own?
black and blue
beer
and cheese
I mean, you're talking shit
but that is a good name for a fucker
I'm all about puns
that's not a bad name
the best example of Shaq privilege
is that the gang gets to open a restaurant
and then did you guys have lines?
Tristan?
I'm trying to forget the lines
did you have any lines
you wanted to share your favorites?
my favorite line
he gave me some
insight about other movies
some of my favorites, like kind of go in the bed
having some drinks
mucking some bowls, having fun
he falls and they check on the scanner
when he first gets his suit on
and they look over at him
and look back at him
getting his vision and everything
and they're like, oh are you okay?
I feel like trash
I instantly felt like kick ass
kind of deal, you know what I mean?
where they get fucked up in their first fight
he falls in the dumpster
and he goes, oh
I got trash or something like that
what are some kick ass vibes
right there
I feel like I'm watching a scoop
of kick ass
this movie might not be
a well written movie
but there is one part
that is absolutely
genius fucking script writing
and it's so fucking good
it's
not Carl Winslow
points the gun at him, puts your hands up
and then he does the whole grappling hook
and leaves
and next time he sees him he goes
put your hands down
is what he says to him
and I was like, that's so good
that's such good writing
that's like a follow through
but I heard it and I was like, oh
brilliant
I thought you were going to talk about the weird grappling hook fight
our film got us lying
shooting a fence
going straight up like 10 feet
12 foot shy of the
ledge
that is great
one of the movies we just reviewed was Space
Truckers
so I will forgive any bad wire work
for any movie moving forward
because Space Truckers
just wires everywhere
you can see the wires
in Space Truckers it's a space movie
where they're just
walking around, just regular shit
and then someone will punch someone
and all of a sudden they'll fly across
the spaceship because apparently it's been
zero gravity the whole time
but it'd be just like, we're hanging out and all of a sudden I'd hit you
and you go flying off
because zero gravity kicked in just for you
just like that
it's really bad
so it's like Dragon Ball Z
maybe worse, maybe better
in some ways, but it's
Stephen Dorff
and what's his name?
Dennis Hopper
Space Truckers, but anyway
so what we do
on the show is we have a rating system
and we go from B
being the highest because we don't really watch very
many A movies, so B is
our absolute best, B plus
it goes down to F
being just absolute bad movie
but at least there's some redeeming quality
to at least check it out for
how bad it is, and then we have
W, which is a waste
of fucking time, not even worth it
for the shits and giggles
so, we'll start
with Kevin
and your final thoughts too, so it's not
if you have any final thoughts, but I feel like we've
covered this thing with that
not gonna lie, I started this off
thinking we were watching Terrifier
but I made a mistake by watching
Terrifier 2, so then I
went back and watched Terrifier 1
and then I was later
informed by Austin that we were watching
a movie with Shaq in it
so that changed dramatically
my outlook on this, overall
though with the movie
a lot of really good
superhero references
thank you for informing that, it did have a good
backbone with the DC
community, those were references
those were cultural events happening
inside the own universe that this
movie existed in, okay those are called facts
if you want to be down to it
this is them referring to other superheroes
we didn't meet, I understand
them, you get what I'm saying
I would actually
have to, let's just throw it out
there at
probably a C+, my
biggest thing on it
is being that
again
it's not a lie, go back and watch the original
Michael Keaton Batman's
none of that wire work went well
none of the acting went well, but man
holds a place in my heart, also
shouts out to Cincinnati
for my boy Corey
and then also as well St. Louis
so I think that hits home, and they had
arcades, smuggling guns
I felt like Austin picked it just for us
I had no idea
I know you haven't watched it yet
but there's an arcade in it
we have a C+, Austin
so this movie
like I said earlier is
there was a movie they had
called Steal, they didn't have anyone
casted it, you could have fancasted this
to hell, and then they were like we can't make
the movie right now, so they put it in a drawer
and then
Warner Brothers, whoever the fuck
put out this movie
was like we need a vehicle for Shaq
and they reached into a drawer and they were like
we have Steal, he's the man of Steal
give him that movie
cast this hot chick
as the wheelchair girl
cast Shaq as Shaft
and
honestly it's one of those movies
that's so bad that it's good
but given the problems it has
I'm giving it a C+, as well
Keegan, I would like you to black cast this movie
Oh god, it's already black casted
I want you to black cast this movie
reverse everything
white cast Steal
yeah, if this was made by the same producers as
what's that movie with Scarlett Johansson
where she plays the Asian chick
Ghost in a Shell
if this was by the producers of Ghost in a Shell
and they wanted to do Steal
with a bunch of white people, how would they make it
the ruining movie
Dolph Lundgren as Steal
yeah
I don't know
just because I don't want this movie to get buried
and I'm stabbing a knife into Shaq's back here
S tier
S what?
alright fine, Keegan Gibson in S tier
which doesn't even exist on our fucking scale
you're breaking it
it's going to get an A somehow
I don't want this movie to rise to the top
I don't want Shaq to be in the movie
if he turns into an A on this test
Shaq has to live with the shame
Jesus Christ, so S tier
alright, Javin
Shaq's probably better as a photo printer copy salesman
than an actor
I agree
he's a better mascot for salesmen
makes better pizzas
however, one of the costume designers
name was like Julia Sexhilda
which
that bumps it up a bit for me
there was a costume designer named
Sexhilda?
Sexhilda
she did the
costumes for the mask
which
anything sex related
so what's her Instagram by the way?
I mean she's like
probably dead now
she's a hashtag
you know a lot about her
maybe she's going to search for Sexhilda
I don't know
maybe
put me in touch
I'm going to find Sexhilda
so what did you give it as a
as a great
out of respect for Sexhilda
we've got to give him a B
that's the top grade
alright, Cory
I had no expectations
for this movie whatsoever
I'm not even a movie guy
I'm just here to drink beer and hang out with you guys
there we go
but man if you really don't want to be challenged
at all
you don't want to have to think at all
and you want to watch this guy fumble through a fucking
movie like he does from the pre-co line
this is your fucking jam
it was full of stupid fucking quotes
the guy looked like a fucking
I really had to say retard still
he looked like a handicap guy in a metal suit
like it was entertaining
I didn't fall asleep until the last 10 minutes
and I had to rewatch the last 10 minutes 10 times
I had to go back and rewind
to watch the chick stand up on her fucking wheelchair
great fucking finale
I want to give it a W but because
I watched the whole thing and I was entertained
I'm going to give it a fucking B-
Oh my god
what the fuck
I was going to give it a W
but since I finished it
it had a B-
it meant the bare minimum
it was finished
it took me 10
it took me 10 attempts
to get through the ending
and yet because I finished it
I got to the top of that mountain
it gets a B-
it's just like when I finish my girlfriend's not impressed
but it was a good night guys
Tristan, go
Tristan
Tristan Tristan Tristan
going right into the movie
I texted Austin
actually right when I first started going
into the movie and I was like wait a minute
I looked at it and the movie goes back to
97 and I was like this
shack could ever have hair honestly
I kind of thought that I was like he looks really
young right there and I didn't
really keep up on the age of the shack
the second off the tank came in
I looked at the tank and I was like could you
use some of the little more cardboard when the
tank rolled up and I thought about that
I'd judge it right off the bat from there
and then just the four
parts of it you know
later 90s but I felt like I was
watching Frank when picture came in
with color
you know beer
I'll probably give it a round with
D plus
I'm not really fond of it
if shack
wasn't making a free throw
he'd smack that shit on it
why did you give my friend a free throw
on this
always miss a free throw
like really
yeah that was
cringy
that whole free throw thing was cringy
this has
been one of our funnest ones to do
because of
this because of tonight
talking about this movie is like
a B plus plus plus
the actual movie sucks
it's a horrible movie
but you get to have a lot of fun making
fun of it don't tell me that's going to affect your
score like it's a C minus
it's a C minus
C minus
I didn't turn it off
can I change my vote I feel like I came in
way too high
oh really a B minus
just slightly less
than what we consider our best movies
Goody's got a B
yeah
Goody's got a B
and you're putting steel in 1997
it's just slightly under the
Goody's
you are gonna be
I might even get a rain again movie now
Die Hard, Goonies and Steel
and Steel
who rank the Goonies
a B
these are high
B is our max
so steel
my grade is a
is a
well D plus
it's a D plus because
it's shitty it's fun to watch
there's some laugh out loud moments
there's that put your
hands up put your hands down which is brilliant
screenwriting
love it
so with the S tier
two B's, two high C's
two high D's and a C minus
Steel gets an
A
see it is up there with Goonies and
because here's
the problem
S isn't on our fucking scale
so I had to
Rise Podcast by a milestone that cannot be topped
account for S
S so somehow Steel
is now our best rated movie
no other movie we watch can beat
Steel legally
through our own system
alright everybody get the fuck out of my bar
there's a scientist at MIT
it's impossible
I think it's working
it's impossible
I think it's working
so one of our
the only fan we have
it's probably Kaylee
this girl Kaylee
she's probably just at home
and she just sees E it's like that moment where
the brain everything clicks together
E equals MC squares floating across
you know what I'm talking about every movie or TV show
it's just like
it doesn't measure up
so the last thing we do on the show
is we recommend a movie
for next week
so we go toby
i pick a movie off
i pick a movie off recently added
it's big movie everyone knows what it is
I haven't seen it though and it's called platoon
oh shit
I started platoon the other day on toby
so i saw there was a fucking movie
that's another good choice alright
this might be the most like
i just watch all of these
Oh, shit!
That was a good one, man.
Fuck, that's a good, that's a fucking great joke.
What do you think about Friends?
Somehow with Platoon and Boondock Saints on the table, I think Mack and Me might win.
Where are we filming? I'll be there.
Shout out to Ruba.
Shout out to Completely Compromised Podcast.
Oh, God. Shout out to Paul Rudd and Conan O'Brien for the Mack and Me.
That's the only thing I know about it, so it would be cool to have this story.
The dance-off and the McDonald's and the representation of commercialism is so good.
All right, Austin, do you have one?
Oh, you said you weren't going to do it.
Oh, also, do you guys want to feel what a pinball feels like?
No, I don't want to feel it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh!
Ooh, that's exactly what I thought it would feel like.
It's heavier than a pump.
Which shows how powerful those plushes are.
That's actually, yeah, and how powerful the bumpers are.
And when you tilt.
And when you do the bend.
Okay, Jamin, did you have a movie?
Oh, yeah, you guys should watch Knock Knock.
Knock Knock.
I think that's going to be on Keanu Reeves.
Oh, come on.
I mean, I've seen selected scenes from Knock Knock.
Here's the challenge. You can't watch it on Pornhub.
You have to watch it on Pornhub.
I have seen it on Pornhub.
I'm not even lying to you. That's a go-to.
You guys are scaring me. Do I see Keanu Reeves' dick?
No.
You see the two hottest actresses in Hollywood naked.
The whole fucking movie.
You know what the plot of that movie is?
Keanu Reeves, his wife's out of town, I think.
He's hot and alone. It's raining.
And two just super college babes, the hottest fucking women on Earth,
just come up there like, excuse us.
It's raining. Our car broke down. Can we just stay here for a second?
And of course, the amount of fucking that goes down in that movie.
Oh, boy.
You're just like, I get hurt.
So another movie.
But if you got to...
What movie is that?
Knock Knock.
I say I'm watching it when I get home.
I can't wait till I get home.
Cory.
Can I borrow his sock?
Hey, this is a bong. This is a bong, Cousy.
I thought that was for the movies.
That was communal.
I'm going to go with Team America.
Oh, okay.
Little Puppet on Puppet X.
That's on Tubi?
Oh, man.
I don't know.
Okay.
Another wild card maybe not on Tubi.
It was. It was.
Is yours on Tubi?
If you can't pump it, you fuck it.
Did you find one on Tubi?
Oh, I did.
What is it?
Oh, buddy.
Okay.
And I just logged in and I scrolled down.
Yeah.
And I scrolled down about three swipes and we got to what is that?
Oh, okay. Well, he brought it up earlier.
It's called The Descent.
He was mad at me that I hadn't seen it.
It's a horror movie.
I hear it's a pretty horrifying horror movie and it's all about claustrophobia.
Why didn't we bring it up?
Is that the one that we were talking about?
I don't know.
Review the tapes, dude.
Michael, I thought you had a job around here.
Review the tapes, dude.
Were we talking about Terrifier and the split in half scene?
Oh, yeah.
That was the...
That was Bone Tell-A-Hot.
What movies did I start to bring up?
No, it was, but we were on the same roll.
We were on the same roll.
It was more about the whole idea of when you're in that moment of, oh shit, this did not go right,
and it didn't go right because of not what you were expecting.
XYZ, it just unfolds.
The plan literally is just not going good.
And I think that goes with why we were talking about Bone Tell-A-Hot and Terrifier,
because we were...
What did we call it?
Crotch splitting?
Crotch splitting.
I guess we did call it that.
I'm not proud of that, but I guess we did earlier today.
We had a good name for it.
I need a...
There's a trilogy for it.
Okay, Tristan.
So, my movie, I've been obsessed with this movie for the longest time because I love
watching D-movies.
Human Sympathy.
Tired of watching the same thing over and over again.
It's called Hansel and Gretel Get Baked.
It's a horror comedy, and it's literally about Hansel and Gretel and the Meek and Stoner.
What's like Evil Bong?
Oh, yeah.
It's not like Evil Bong, but it's way better.
It's all good, Brandon.
Like, way fucking better, and it's kind of the B-movie that I keep finding myself back
to.
Okay.
And I wish my other B-movie is such a bad one that it's even hidden on YouTube, but
it's not on TV.
What's the other one?
It's called Growing Up, and it's them growing weed and their parents keeping it in their
house and everything, all the plants, and them getting raided, because the kid wants
to go to an actual public school.
I love that.
Okay.
I like Kikush, too.
That's a good one.
And then, Mike, what's your choice?
Well, I'm not going to be here next week, so I don't know if you want to...
Mike, put it in.
Most of these people aren't going to be here.
All right, I got it.
It's The Man.
The Man?
Mismatch do of an ATF sp...
The Man is what it's called?
The man is what it's called. It's Sam Jackson and Eugene Levy's wife.
Oh my god.
I've never seen...it's 2005.
That is in the back of my mind is just bad.
It's just a horrible movie. I'm sure.
It's just not even worth discussing bad.
I have no idea.
Do we get at least one motherfuckin' algorithm so I don't...
Jesus Christ.
Okay, so I was going to put all of these into the chat GPT and give us a random algorithm.
But because of that fucking movie, we're doing a vote.
Because I can't leave it to...I can't...
I don't want us to watch that ever.
This is like when we had Summer...or we had Winter of Cage.
He decided to just make up Winter of Cage.
It became his whole fucking motto for the whole winter months.
And he just started going like, alright let's watch Season of the Witch.
Let's watch Wicker Man.
And I'm like, if we're going to do fucking Nick Cage, at least let's do some good ones.
So we did do Mandy and...
Did you do Face Off?
No.
What other?
That's not a 2B.
So, with your hands, let's start with Boondock Saints.
I love that movie.
It's a tough one.
Yeah.
I'm going to say the Boondock Saints.
Three.
This is...
Platoon.
Fuck you guys.
I think we've just all seen it.
Mack and Me.
I'm giving up my own vote on my own vote on Mack and Me all damn day.
That's four.
I can see the cover of it in my head right now.
Oh god, it's so good.
Knock, knock.
We're all going to watch that on Pornhub, yeah?
It's up.
Team America?
We got three for Team America.
We can vote for more than one.
The dissent?
I like them all.
No one for the dissent?
I'm going to make my mom and grandma watch that together.
Hansel and Gretel get baked?
I'm going to raise my hand for that one.
Yeah.
I think I was very unclear on the rules when we get to vote.
I'm going to count that as four.
I see five hands.
It's a color of me and...
Yeah, but some people are voting twice.
Andy, Kevin's confused that we...
And that is all of them.
Yeah.
Andy?
No, and the man.
Is there a tie?
And the man with Samuel Jackson and Eugene Lemmy.
What is it between?
Zero.
Okay, let's just cross that out.
All right, so it's down to Boondock Saints, Mack and me, Team America, and Hansel and Gretel.
Although it's really down to Mack and me and Hansel and Gretel.
How many votes do we get?
You guys should idiot like Russell for it.
Andy, how many votes do we get?
I'll play and you give him a pinball.
Well, no, I was giving...
He gave him a pinball.
Oh, shit.
Any different votes?
Yeah, but it's quite jowse for it.
No, we don't need to play jowse.
Well, no, we can do a fair vote.
This is now fair, one vote per person.
Oh, yeah.
Iowa caucuses.
Let's do Hansel and Gretel.
It's between Hansel and Gretel and Mack and me.
Let's do Hansel and Gretel get baked.
Let's do Mack and me.
Oh, good Lord.
Come on.
All right.
Show the fuck up.
The movie is Mack and me.
Holy shit.
I made a movie with a person in the movie.
Andy, Andy, you have to be a spoiler.
And like Joe Rogan with the mic be like, how do you feel about this test that you lost?
I'm really wondering if you guys will watch that movie because it's like pure center comedy.
It really fucked me up.
I mean, I might put it on in the background.
Have you seen Time Traveling Bong?
Time Traveling Bong?
She puts all the votes, all the votes when we vote and bring them up.
OK, wait, wait, wait.
Social media.
All right, everybody.
Let's we're going to wrap this up.
So let's just curtail the other conversations.
We're almost out of here.
OK, well, we don't need.
No outro?
Do you want it?
If you have it loaded.
Somebody just has to turn it up.
And the one guy that doesn't want to go take a shit just now.
I can turn knobs.
Wait, he can't wait three minutes.
So is he.
Well, shit, Cory.
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Your pressure sucks.
What?
Wash, wash, wash, wash your hands.
Yeah.
No, no, nobody did it.
Well, fuck, I kind of don't want to end while he's in there, but I sort of feel like we've
Yeah.
Oh, there he is.
All right.
So wipe his own ass.
Do you want to give us a little bit outro music?
Outro music?
Yeah, I got it.
You think we can plug?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So let's hang on one second.
Let's do some plugs.
Let's do some plugs first.
All right.
We're going to start.
We were tight.
We're going to start.
So, if you're watching this, you know, check out the completely compromised podcast on
Spotify.
What else are we on?
We're on everything.
It's everything.
Dark web, tour, whatever.
Multi-task.
Buy your drugs and listen to the show.
It's going to be sick.
Actually, they carved their initials and also their phone number in our bathroom.
So they're going to pay us dues on that too.
So I'll be looking out for them.
This is Kevin and Cory over here at the Glitch Bar Acadium with Tristan.
Hang out with us.
And again, thank you also, Farrell, for introducing us guys.
And if you're over the Lake Havasu area and hanging out here in Lake Havasu City, please
come check us out.
And again, thank you so much to Andy.
It's great to have you guys here, man.
Oh, yeah.
This was fucking awesome.
We had a blast.
This was so much fun.
It's I hate getting places early because I don't like waiting around for things, but
this was a lot of fun getting here early because it was just fucking just playing fucking games
and hanging out with cool people.
So this was awesome.
So let's get some intro music.
DJ Casale.
Hell yeah.
This has been the Fried Rice Podcast with me as motherfucking always.
It's Mike.
I'm surprised he lived long enough to get to the end of this episode.
It's 3.30 in the morning.
He's an old bitch had a heart attack last year.
He's on borrowed time.
What can be a live Larson?
How are we going to make it?
With us as always is he's not a bouncer.
He's not a jump man.
They didn't like that joke earlier.
It's Tristan.
He will host his way and all of us out of here at the end of the night.
Arvai with us as always is co-owner and just cool dude.
He's made a bunch of art.
I love these hats.
I love everything.
Thank you for the hats.
This has been a great time.
One of our gracious hosts, host Cooley Mocax.
We have Keegan.
I can't wait to listen to his podcast.
He's going to lower it a little bit.
He's got a funny last name, but he's got one of those looks where he's going to steal your
girl, the thin mustache and the kind of vibe that he doesn't give a fuck.
Yeah, hell yeah.
Snodgrass.
With us as always is Javin.
He looks like you can buy acid off of him probably.
He just has that vibe.
He's got gross psychedelic mushrooms in his fucking, his shagglish is like bad.
You know?
Paper, paper, especially green.
Crucial.
Sorry, I was like, wait, we're supposed to take acid.
With us as always is Austin.
He drove three hours to be here.
His mom made me the most beautiful crochet dick sock in the world that I'm going to use
to warm my bong at night so it stays nice and cozy.
Thank you so much Austin's mom for not only making Austin my producer, but also for making
me all these super cute cozy gifts.
The emotional support dogs are a big fucking hit.
Everyone loves them.
Hell, Shaggotton 8.
Fuck Shaggotton 8.
With us as always is Javin.
It's time to go.
All right, we're going to end the show.
We're going to end the show.
You might have been thinking, I can just sit the whole thing, I just can't.
No, you can do whatever.
Yes.
Amen.
And you know what?
You're barely bald.
Always right.
You're always right.
He's the owner of one of the most fun places in fucking Havasu, probably the most fun place
in Havasu.
Maybe the most fun place in Arizona.
It's the Glitch Bar Dam.
This place is sick.
When you're out, come check it out.
Wait, just a little more.
We've been fried.
Thank you so much.
Have a wonderful day or night or whatever you're doing.
All right.
Fuck off.
aura