Hey man, have you ever heard of Fried Rice Podcast?
Fried Rice Podcast?
Yeah man, they're a podcast that reviews movies and a new one comes out every Saturday on
YouTube.
They're sponsored by Bellringers.
Bellringers?
Yeah, Bellringers.
It's an adapter for your bong or hookah.
And it holds three joints, three blunts, three bowls or three dabs.
Three dabs?
Yeah man, three dabs.
And check us out every Saturday on YouTube at Fried Rice Podcast, sponsored by Bellringers.
It's always better when I do it myself.
And welcome to our first ever documentary edition of Fried Rice Podcast.
I'm your host, Andy fucking Rice.
Let's get fried with me as always.
I tried to hire a crew to follow me as I planned each and every meticulous murder attempt.
And yet they didn't capture the heartbreak and frustration that goes into the fact that
he cannot die.
It is Michael.
He's so fucking, fucking, fucking, he's so fucking lucky to be alive, Larson.
Hey everybody.
With me as always, it's our boy.
He drives, you don't even know, I always say three and a half hours, it's probably closer
to four.
So every time I've lied and I've underplayed it, but it's really a four hour commitment,
it's Austin.
He's looking a little better each week.
I don't know if it's his confidence, if he's getting more money somewhere, if he's just,
maybe he's meeting the right women out there, but he's just something about him.
It's treating me right this week.
It's Austin Farrell.
Check me out on Friendster.
Okay.
You're going to run out of obscure websites one day.
Okay now, before we even get into the fucking episode, ladies and gentlemen, I had to stop
an argument with Mike to get this episode recorded.
Mike is under the impression that Saturday Night Live does not air live.
And when it does air live at 1130 PM in New York City, you have to wait on the West Coast
until 1130 PM to watch it.
But I've been trying to tell this guy that if you're over here, it's 830 PM because they're
three hours ahead.
They're three hours behind, but it's still a live show.
So Mike, what is your defense on this?
My defense is that I watch the show every week.
Louder, because we got it.
I watch the show every week at 1030 PM after I watch the local news like everyone else
in the free world.
This is going to be one of the most controversial episodes of all time because if I'm, I just
looked up, I looked up Phoenix SNL airtime, all right?
I went to TVGuide.com.
I look at what time does it air tonight?
Says it airs at 1130 PM Eastern Time, 1030 PM Central Time.
We're not arguing that.
830 Pacific Time.
We are on, well, we're technically on Mountain Time, oh, 930 Mountain Time, sorry, so 1030
Central.
But it should go on at 930 here.
Right.
And you're arguing saying it doesn't.
Right, because here's the TV, actual TV listings like you get in the paper, what time does
that say?
It says repeat.
Yeah, because it's always a repeat here.
That's what I'm explaining to you.
It's repeating the episode that aired at 830 because right there, 830.
You're looking, no, go back, because that's also a repeat, I think.
I'm proving you wrong right now.
Go back to 930.
I'm going back, I'm trying to.
If you go to 930, you're going to see the start of Saturday Night Live.
No, the wall is what's on at 7 and then a vintage set.
8 o'clock.
What does that say?
It says.
Vintage, it's a replay.
You clicked.
No, I did not.
Okay, this is bad podcasting.
Yes, it is.
But ladies and gentlemen, in the comments, call the voicemail.
I'm not wrong.
Trust me, you are.
No, I'm not.
This Saturday Night Live airs at 930 here.
And then what time, Jake?
I'm turning it on.
I don't even watch Saturday Night Live live.
So when we get our weird time thing, does it come on at 830 you're saying?
No, always mountain time.
We're not always mountain time.
Well, we are always mountain time.
That's what I'm saying.
Anytime something says mountain time.
But time changes everywhere else.
So then it comes to 830 here?
No, because when time changes in New York, it's still 1130 over there.
But time doesn't change here.
That just means it's a two hour gap instead of a three.
So then it's four or whatever it is.
No, it'd be two because we never, we don't change.
So it goes from 830 to 930 you're saying then?
It would go from 930 to either 1030 or 830 depending on if they went forward or back.
So 930 now because they haven't had any sort of daylight savings.
But anytime, because this has been the way that TV has scheduled always.
If you have anything that airs, like if it's a live thing, they always put all of the different
time zones next to the times that it airs like this.
So SNL is a live show.
They have a lot of pre-recorded bits.
But it's still live from Saturday night.
It's you know, right?
And I do understand what you're saying.
We're live from New York.
It's Saturday night.
Sorry.
But also you can actually watch the news, which by the way was what I actually do for
a living is watch the entertainment news.
And you'll see that sometimes there's things that happen on the show on Saturday night
live.
And it will even tell you on the bottom of the screen while you're watching it that this
was recorded, was added in because something happened in the live recording.
Like one time a girl showed her titty.
Sure.
But there's I think a 30 or second or one minute time delay.
They replaced a whole sketch.
Leave it to Mike to remember the lady showed her titty.
Mike has the most obscure titty knowledge history of anybody in this world.
If there's been a titty show, any live segment, Mike not only knows it's been cut, but he's
found the cut footage.
The New York specifics, he found some guy who recorded on VHS.
But it says replaced for West Coast right on it because they re-air a different time
for the West Coast.
Well, I'll tell you this.
That's all I'm telling you.
If you're watching your Saturday night live on the second run through every single time
after the 8 31, because if you're not watching it when it airs live, which you're not because
you're watching the news at 8 30.
No, it's not.
At 10 30.
No, you just watch it on, you watch it live.
We're going to agree to disagree.
OK.
I'm watching it every Saturday night.
This has been the most contentious fucking argument of all time.
Please.
About nothing.
A contentious argument about nothing.
If there's a comment section on this video, on this recording or whatever the fuck we're
doing, please for the love of God, if you live in California, anywhere, anywhere West
Coast and you watch Saturday night live.
At 8 30.
At live, when it's airing live in New York at 8 30 our time.
And they do do episodes, by the way.
They do do weeks where they do that.
And it's a big deal when they do.
I think it's every week.
But they don't do a West Coast.
You know what?
Just when Saturday Night Live comes on, tag Fried Rice Podcast on Instagram with your
time zone and what time it is.
What time do you watch Saturday Night Live?
I'm right here.
This is going to be my last nail in the coffin.
The Reddit r slash live from New York.
The SNL Reddit.
Does SNL air live on the West Coast on the regular NBC?
Yes.
It airs live here in LA at 8 30 p.m.
Then at 10 p.m. we get usually one hour vintage SNL.
Then news.
Then the new SNL is shown again.
We're not arguing that channels don't have their choice to carry it live.
But I'm telling you the Phoenix channel does not carry it live.
That's what I'm watching on.
Nope.
That is a completely.
No, you're not straw man.
You're not.
I don't know.
You're not what about is.
No, no.
I don't even know what the argument you're doing right now, but I'm not allowing this
bullshit in the court of law.
You cannot after all of this time argue that SNL does not air live on the West Coast at
8 30.
And then.
When I point out it does say, well, I just met Phoenix.
No, I said I watch it at 10 30.
I'm sorry.
Nope.
This is I'm going to leave this.
I'm going.
This is going to be my favorite episode of all time because he's going to be concrete
proof that I destroyed you in a debate about time.
Austin, you're the ref.
You pull my arm up like I won.
Did you pay him enough?
This has been my redemption arc, which is going to go greatly into our, into a movie
that we're going to talk about today.
But I don't know how we can get into what are we smoking?
Yeah.
Because why not?
Because mostly it's you.
Tramadol is what I'm smoking.
Yeah.
So Mike's on some heavy, heavy painkillers and he's not going to really be smoking.
You know, Austin, he's a.
He had his fill last week.
I'm still, as technically it counts as what am I smoking, I'm still high from that giant
bell ringer with the three 10 grand blunts.
So if you haven't listened to last week's episode because it's hard to listen to because
it is, it's a little rough.
It's a live.
It was a recording in front of a live studio audience to be played at any time anyone wants
later.
Just like Saturday Night Live.
That's what started this.
And that is what started this whole conversation.
And that was it went on a good 10 minutes before we started recording.
I could.
Anyway.
So what are we smoking?
The weed we're smoking right now, the weed I'm smoking that you're going to have to take
one hit.
You're just reading random jars that has nothing to do with anything.
That's just some shake that I had prepared for a joint rolling contest for last week
that never happened.
So my buddy comes over, Sean, and he brings this Stizzy weed and it's.
We can just pretend like the bell ringer guys here.
I'm going to start to get a little bit of a sense of it.
Well, at least there's a layer underneath.
That guy just went bare ass chested back on my couch.
You know, nothing against him.
I think I would do this with anyone who decided to just come in and take their shirt off and
sit on my couch.
I have this like fabric cleaner and I sprayed it on there and I gave it a good rinse.
So feel comfortable sitting there is what I'm saying.
That was probably the funniest episode.
Just funny to us anyway.
We got to watch you lose control.
We haven't even talked about that was a fucking train wreck of a of a experience.
Are we talking about the one where he came here?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Ghosted on Mars, man.
It just hit actually this week.
That was a I mean, I feel like I should retroactively apologize to our listeners for all the homophobic
content and gay jokes and stuff.
I did try to put a curtail to it.
I tried to stop it.
I don't know how successful I was, but it was a it was an episode that happens.
It was an experience.
And then we went into the live episode, which we'll get into in just a second.
So what I'm smoking, Sean comes over, he brings this dizzy weed and he's like, you got to
you got to smell it.
And I don't really have a good sense of smell, but I could smell this.
It smelled fruity.
And I was like, oh, what the fuck?
And it was this white powdery almost breaks apart in your hand kind of weed.
I have it in here.
There might still be a little bit left if you want to smell that.
And I took a hit and it is the most just fruity, delicious fucking tasting weed.
I absolutely love it.
It's like I don't I don't often like weed that is pungently like like perfumey because
like I feel like there's something in there that I'm not that's not just weed.
And I kind of like organic stuff, whatever they did, whatever they rolled it in, whatever
keef, whatever powdered, whatever.
It's really yummy.
It's great.
It's been getting me high.
And then so then I put the bag down and then I pick it up the wrong way and dump about
half of this fucking quarter ounce or not.
I don't know if there's a quarter.
It might have been like two couple eights.
I don't know.
Whatever.
I I dump half of it on the ground and he's like, well, fuck, I don't want any of your
dirty carpet.
So what we're smoking is the weed that I have dirty carpet weed for my buddy, Sean.
He's very kind, very generous.
He's treated me well our whole lives.
He's a good guy.
Speaking of treating treating me well, we're going to talk about some shit about the presents
that I got last last week.
But OK, so that's what we're smoking.
Cue music.
I don't know if there's music.
I also got a bunch of joints specifically as a present from this last live show.
I got pumpkin spice latte.
Free row.
Right.
And we got my buddy Bobby gave gave me three eighths of urban blaze.
L.A. grown.
Pretty good shit that I've been smoking.
I got some baby jeeters, different varieties.
I found a random.
Eighth I think.
Mojave legendary red.
I don't know how old this is.
I found it in my backpack when I was cleaning it out and been smoking that.
It's been pretty good.
There's something about smoking retro weed sometimes.
It's like where you find a you find a little bit of rolled up whatever in your trunk when
you're cleaning it out after like years.
And it's like it's old and it's it's just powder.
You know, like you touch it, you dry.
It's just whatever.
But you smoke it and and I don't have a sense of smell, so I don't have that sensory.
They say that that's the best way to experience memories is through smell.
Like when you smell a certain thing, it can bring you back to a certain point in your
life that visual and auditory and even touch can't.
So the closest I can really get as as getting close to that experience is smoking old weed
because I could smoke something from a year or two ago and get transported back to taste.
The smoke coming out of my like filling my lungs up.
Maybe, maybe it's enough for me to smell because it's coming out of my nose, too.
It's great.
And I. I'm a big fan of that.
Sorry, your your watch distract.
I mean, I lost my track of thought or my train of thought.
Damn it.
I'm so good.
But I didn't bring mine this time.
Thank you.
OK, so let's talk about last week.
What do you guys general impressions?
Yes.
So this was the Andy Rice birthday extravaganza.
Recorded in front of a live studio audience because it wasn't aired live.
None of our episodes have aired live.
They never will.
Well, no, that's not true.
I do think this is just just a little bit of maybe this will happen in the future.
But I do want to set up some sort of twitch or some sort of live aspect where maybe once
or twice a month you can catch us maybe playing a scary video game like one of the dark pictures
anthology games, which are choose your own adventures.
I think we could have some fun with those.
Teaming up on Mike on Super Smash Brothers.
Well, yeah, it's always two versus one.
No, we always do free for all, quote unquote.
It's just we never hit each other.
Why can't I ever win?
No.
Yeah.
So maybe we will have live shit in the in the future.
But not right now.
It's just recorded.
So the comedy show was I was blown away by James Michael.
Like everyone did good.
This guy is like true showman, like Wednesday through Sunday, every fucking night doing
comedy, just killing, just blowing people away.
And I pick up one of his cards and get his autograph on it.
Like that's how impressed I was.
That's cool.
He's the one I missed the one.
I was outside getting trying to get the the redneck magician.
He's just like, I got kicked in the head by a cow.
Now she's my wife.
Just silly little jokes like that and just he had a million of them.
We're just doing magic tricks and shit.
And yeah, constant popping.
He was cool.
I missed the set, but I met him now a couple of times and seen him after the show.
I invited him to join us for the probably the bit that worked the worst out of our live
show, which was the Mystery Science 3000 ripoff where we're watching a live where we're going
to make fun of America 3000.
Yeah, it was just playing on the screen.
We're just staring at him.
What is going on?
We left a group of people in my car, hotboxing and just had a little corner of the screen
dedicated to them.
We couldn't hear them.
They couldn't hear us.
It was like they were lost in space.
Yeah, that was I will say the bell ringer challenge is one of our biggest successes
that night.
Yeah, that was pretty dope.
So our sponsor face bell ringers, he showed up and talk about sponsor.
He showed up with three 10 gram blunts and put it in a bell ringer that's fit to hold
three 10 gram blunts.
And that's 30 guys more than an ounce of weed that was on one contraption that we then lit
and we put three people in a car.
They got halfway through.
They were out there for at least 15, 20 minutes.
Maybe even longer.
They got through about half of that fucking thing.
The last person, our undisclosed winner Bobby still undisclosed.
Oh shit.
He said undisclosed.
My bad.
Our anonymous friend.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It was like not even halfway done when he won the challenge.
They were in there for a while.
They went around for a while and I was like, you know what?
Fuck it.
It's a live podcast.
So I hit it.
Yeah, you hit it.
That was good.
Then it went through the whole crowd pretty much.
As soon as I got it up on stage.
Then they took it apart and everybody started smoking just the blood.
Oh, and there was a guy.
There was a guy dressed like a cowboy kind of looking dude.
And it was like him and his girlfriend I think.
And the bell ringer was done.
I was high.
I had a few beers and I hadn't drank in a while.
So I was feeling, I was like, I need to go stand over here and chill for a minute.
And this lady's trying to give me this bell ringer.
She's like, it's a prize.
We're fighting not to take it at this point.
And I'm like, give it to the winner bitch.
I'm fucking high.
And then I just took it and put it on the desk where you were sitting.
I'm like, this is the bell ringer prize.
And then I walked away.
I'm like, I don't want this responsibility right now.
I'm no longer the producer.
You cannot be responsible.
I didn't even know.
I was so, I don't think there was a moment that people were just handing me blunts or
joints the whole fucking time I was there.
The moment I stepped in that back area, it was just like, all right, here we go.
And I just blunts and joints.
So I was sufficiently fucking high.
So I didn't even know we had a prize for the bell ringer contest.
I thought the winner was just, you survived the bell ringer.
Congrats.
But the prize was fucking sick because it included one of your mom's beanies, which
by the way, folks, do we have a link yet for on our website?
No, she's got to make an Etsy and do all that stuff.
But we'll link it on our website.
Maybe we even sell it exclusively on fried rice podcast.
Good.
Dot com.
I mean, if she wants to do Etsy too, but like we could, it could be a one of our featured
things.
Do you mind if I, do we talk about what she did?
Yeah.
She made a bunch of the fried rice podcast beanies, the ones that say FRP, but she also
had ones that had little pot leaves on them, little eyes on them.
Everyone was just buying them up.
I was like, Oh, should I have all this?
The hell is money?
And then I was like, Jess and John, I was like, Oh, is there like something I could
donate some of this to?
So it's not like we just came in your backyard and smoked a bunch of weed and just had a
party for free.
They're like, yeah.
And then I was going to do that.
And then I was telling my mom and she was like, no, I need to buy yarn.
Now I'm going to have her make a bunch.
We also have those little nugs, emotional support, emotional support.
I think are the, the bread and butter.
The beanies are phenomenal.
They're going to always sell.
So those little, she needs, she does whatever she wants cause she's wonderful and she's
your mom and everything she's done.
She definitely does whatever she wants.
Cause I told her just make a bunch of the little, make a bunch of those nugs, but make
them little and then we can put QR codes for the broadcast on the bottom.
Oh my God.
Brilliant.
And then she's just kind of, well, I'm going to do this.
And I'm like, okay, I guess.
Well, Austin's mom, if we could have three sizes of emotional support buds, tiny, probably
the five to $10 range.
We could sell them out of Ziploc bags.
Like, that's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
I mean, shit, if you're a, just a avid pot smoker and you're listening to this episode
late, this is going to be some rip off a bowl stuff.
This is like shark tank without any of the security that shark tank offers you the exposure
here.
It's patented, patented, emotional support.
If you try to copy that, I will send face to your house.
Oh, you do not want that.
Listen with the shirt off to sit on your couch.
He is a force of nature.
This guy, I don't know how else to describe him.
He's, he's it's like, he was only serious one time on during, not during the live podcast,
but that day he was serious one time because he had the giant bell ringer and somebody
brought up that they kind of look like butt plugs.
And he was like, yeah, we can't really design them to not look like butt plugs.
They just end up looking like butt plugs.
And that was definitely, that was like the one time he stepped back from his persona
and really addressed an issue.
And then he said he was, and then immediately after that went right back to being himself
and then was asking the bartender at the bar for chocolate milk very aggressively.
Aggressively over and over again.
When I say aggressively, I don't mean he was angry when he said it.
I just mean his insistence on getting chocolate milk was borderline aggressive.
What do you mean you don't have chocolate milk?
Give me some bar.
I mean, if you, if you cut out about 80% of the gay jokes, then honestly, he's one of
the most magnanimous people I've ever met.
It's just like he's a presence.
You want, he walks in a room, you fucking know he's there.
He demands your attention.
He could be a force of good or evil.
But I think he's chaotic neutral.
And that is, I think in the world of D&D, this is the most chaotically neutral person
on planet earth.
I would say steer clear or fucking lean in, whatever you want, but be careful.
He could not have described it better.
I forgot about that ranking system.
Cause he's not a bad guy.
He's certainly not a good guy.
But goddamn, is he a presence when he's around?
Too much so maybe.
He was part of the show.
I was up on stage hosting each time going up and I'm like, well, I can't help Andy now.
What's going on outside?
Lost Austin.
And then, and then, and then, and then face, um, Bellringer himself, he just fucking, he's
there trying to get chocolate milk and then right before the show starts, right when we're
about to air, all right guys, we're going live.
He's where is he?
Where is he?
Gone.
Just fucking disappears in the middle of the night.
Haven't heard from him since.
He was in that chocolate milk one way or another.
He's just at a CBS or a fucking Walmart.
Just buying a thing of chocolate milk.
Never came back.
Just left an ounce of fucking weed.
Oh, what a sponsor.
Considering what a, what a crazy first time live podcast we did, we did okay.
I mean, but we started and then immediately had to turn the volume down on everything.
We had four mics, two of them didn't work.
The producer got high.
The sponsor disappeared.
Everyone's talking really loud.
Oh, and then throw in the, uh, the, the, me opening up a shitload of presents, which
I enjoyed was maybe interesting to the people in the audience.
I think you guys were enjoying it, which is important.
Oh yeah.
All the Barbies.
The Barbies were great.
Oh God.
Those Barbies.
Which by the way, most of the Barbies, other than the custom weird baby one that Bob made,
which I feel like should not leave this.
I feel like that's a, uh, Annabelle sort of thing.
I don't want to pass it on to anybody, but all the other Barbies have gone to a good
place.
Uh, I gave a couple of them out to a friend of mine who has a, who has a young daughter.
And then I gave the rest out to my coworker who has a four year old daughter who loves
Barbies and I've already found out that she loves the one, um, when you press the chest
that it makes it, it sings the song, has a little button on her chest.
She's obsessed with it.
And I'm sure he hates me now because he's probably heard that friendship is magic or
whatever song fucking 20,000 times.
But um, I kept, so thank you if you thought I was going to keep all of these Barbies somewhere,
uh, like some, like I already have a room that people have dubbed the murder room because
I keep a fucking weird just puppet sitting alone in the corner.
Uh, you know, that no one goes in.
So we don't need to have a box of Barbies is what I'm saying.
But all the other, all the other gifts, I, it's amazing.
You know, Randy would have liked those Barbies.
He's all alone in there in the corner.
God, Randy didn't even fucking, he didn't make an appearance at the show.
We were supposed to have a blunt rolling, a joint rolling contest.
Like man, when you're doing live, live shows, there's a lot of moving parts and I'm, I'm
glad we got it done.
I'm glad it's, it's about an hour and a half.
It's not one of our longer episodes.
So it's a more manageable chunk to get through.
Uh, but I will say the overall experience of it was fucking awesome.
Oh, it was great.
It was fun.
Like, like I'm, I apologize to the listeners who, who maybe won't, it's going to be difficult
to kind of replicate the, the kind of fun of it all.
But being there and having it be my birthday show, it was one of my bet.
It was like one of my best birthdays, I would say.
Like hands down, you got to think like getting to host a birthday podcast.
Plus you had a good show before.
Oh yeah.
So that, yeah, that I actually, yeah, my, I had a solid eight minutes to open.
Uh, I don't, I haven't opened in a while.
Oh, good call.
I touched the table and he checked the, to see if we were still recording.
This is why you're the producer, man.
Hosting and producing in the same night was fun.
It was just also very exhausting.
Sure.
You all know I drive three hours to beat a, beat a few things.
And then big, also Jesse edited the episode.
So he had to listen to all that so we don't have to.
Yes.
So if Zach improv quality is God slash devil, then that means Jesse is Jesus slash Lucifer.
You know what?
We have to steer clear the, the, the religious things.
I, in the metaphor of, in the way, no, no, in the universe we've built, that's an apt
metaphor.
I'm not, I don't want to give you any, any less props than you deserve for coming up
with that.
Yes.
He would be our Jesus, our Messiah, our Muhammad, whatever you want to call it.
Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever profit slash relative of God in whatever book, whatever
book.
Right.
That says.
What about demigods?
We'll just call them superheroes.
See, that's the thing.
I think what we should be doing is maybe just taking a religion that nobody gives a shit
about anymore, like Greek mythology or, or whatever, and then just start, but then what's,
what am I going to call them?
Call them Zeus?
That's so stupid.
It's like, oh yeah, Zach Qualley, our Zeus, our lightning god.
No, I hate, no, that was a dumb idea.
So I don't know, but I, I don't want to alienate our religious listeners.
Like I have repeatedly in the past and maybe aggressively.
So at times, I don't know, maybe I'm trying to be a better person.
I've had a, I almost wanted to just call the season three, episode one.
So I'm trying a new tact.
I don't want to be as, I don't even know the right word for it, but I don't want to be
as, as mean as I have been.
I think I'm turning over a new leaf.
That show.
Mike though, right?
No, he didn't eat my poisoned cake.
You son of a bitch.
I spent $3 on that slice.
And I threw it away.
Yeah.
We had a bit planned for it.
I can tell it because now it won't happen.
You had a lot of things.
I think you had a whole outline with like 30 different steps.
We probably made like five of them.
There was a whole lot.
Yeah.
We had schedules.
We don't know why.
I printed 100 copies of, and I used 20 of them.
There was what?
There was a good chunk of people actually for the first part.
We probably had 50 people at the first.
Yeah.
50 or 60.
And then, but it was so late.
My mom and sister and best friends from when I was a kid all took the first opportunity
to go, you know, we have to get back to the hotel.
It was late.
It was 730 when they left.
Yeah.
It wasn't like they were cutting out super early.
But then my real friends, the ones that I drove, they had no choice but to stay there.
They stayed the whole time.
You know what?
My buddy Tomas, God bless his soul, he's a great friend, but he was nodding off a little
bit towards the end.
And it's because I don't think he gives a shit about weed.
And the movie aspect that he would probably enjoy talking about, it was America 3000 and
nobody was talking about it.
That's what he was probably watching the whole time.
He was probably watching the movie.
He's probably pissed I didn't turn on subtitles.
But there might not have been any, you know, I think he even told me afterwards.
He's just like, yeah, there wasn't really much going on in the movie.
But yeah.
Which reminds me, I had a shitty little tablet that I actually like stuck in the awning corner.
Oh yeah, I remember, yeah, to record.
So it looks like it was filmed on a Fisher-Price potato.
But I do have footage of most of that.
I think I have like an hour and 15 minutes of that whole podcast.
I think like the first 15 is just us setting up.
I set it up a little too early.
And ladies and gentlemen, we are, this might be the first part of that put on YouTube.
Yeah, fuck it.
Why not?
Yeah.
We'll find something to fill the gaps after, but we'll put it on YouTube.
You get whatever Austin recorded with his potato in a weird angle.
Which I didn't know about.
So I don't know if I cheated out to the camera one bit.
I was climbing on a chair to get it up there.
Sean's like, what are you doing?
I'm like, setting up a camera.
Oh yeah.
And John just being one of the people in the audience, he was just, I think, protective
of the equipment.
Nobody particular or, and because this did take place at an undisclosed location at my
house in the backyard, if that's what we're going with.
Works for me.
It's weird having to move all those people from the comedy show over to my place, but
we did it.
I said contests and giveaways and I was like, yep, they're coming.
We got to give away some things.
Some, but most came away a lot.
Everything was in front of you.
I gave away all the bigger items that I thought I brought, except for the bottle of wine,
I guess.
We had found a bottle of wine that said, um, cock.
Well if you changed the letter, it said cock.
And then from, from Andy's, like the mountain.
And I was like, yeah, cock from Andy's.
Who wouldn't want this wine?
Who wouldn't want cock from Andy, right?
And I did nothing with it.
So I still have it.
And I don't know if I should self-filate myself and drink the wine.
Just popping my own cork off my cock.
But no, when we do it again, we'll do it earlier.
We'll do it earlier.
It'll be dedicated.
Actually, no, the next time we do this, it's going to be at a Comic Con.
Oh, our next one will be Comic Con.
Yeah.
Well, no, that is our next one.
I should tell you, I should have told you guys about this already.
That's a few weeks from now.
Anyway, we'll talk about this after the podcast.
Thanks Andy.
There might even be a promotion before this.
There might even be an ad.
We might talk about the Comic Con.
We might talk about the Comic Con on the previews.
But yeah, we're going to be at the Kingman Comic Con.
It's going to be fucking dope.
We did it last, the first one they did.
Is this the same Comic Con or is it that other one?
It's the same.
Okay.
Same one.
They were doing it like a spring.
They wanted to do a, they did an end of the year one.
Now they're doing a spring one.
It was super fun last time.
It was a legit fucking cool little Comic Con for, especially for the area.
And when I say little, I mean it's, it's, it's big for the area.
It's like, it's not San Diego Comic Con, but thank God because how expensive is fucking
San Diego Comic Con and what can you actually experience there?
You know, at this point, the bigger the event, the less likely I want to go.
If there's an event that's going to have 50,000 people going to it and any of the lines are
going to take longer than fucking 20, 30 minutes to get through to do what?
Take a picture with somebody or, or have a comic book signed or whatever.
Like I get the, seeing all the people in, in, in cosplay and costume, that's what it's
all about.
I understand being there is a whole thing.
I just don't know if I want to like wait that long.
You can go into amusement parks now, unless you go like on a weekday when it's raining
and you go to Universal Studios in California and you go early enough with a plan to hit
all the Harry Potter shit immediately and then go do something else and go back.
I found a guide to get me through that once.
Well we're doing, yeah, we're actually planning a Disney vacation right now and on their site
there's actually a thing that basically says if you're going to ride stuff and all that,
you better pay this extra $250 because otherwise you can't.
It's like too crazy.
So we're paying like 250 extra for a fast pass thing.
But that fast pass is, is I think it's now like timed stuff.
So it's not like you can just go pick a ride and then go ride it quicker.
You get to the front of the line.
I think it's instead it schedules you like, oh, you want to ride Space Mountain.
They're at two, right?
Your ride is at seven 30.
Right.
So there are, there are some rides that you still, even with fast pass, you still have
to pay extra to like for that fast pass, for that specific ride.
There's like at least two of them.
Well, I know probably the Star Wars stuff.
The Star Wars stuff.
I'm not sure about Smuggler's Run.
I think that one's normal, but definitely the Rise of the Resistance ride, which fucking
well worth it.
That is the most amazing like ride.
It has all like the newest technology.
I've never actually been to those rides.
I don't even like the sequel trilogy, but that ride is so much fun.
It looks amazing.
I have a friend on Facebook and she posts all the time.
She's one of the Imperial guards.
I think either on that ride or one of the other ones at Disneyland.
So she's like one of the ride operators.
Oh yeah.
And she's in full like full black.
She's in the cool, she's in the cool black one with the hat.
And they're mean to people.
They're mean to people.
Oh yeah.
She looks bad ass dude.
She's a, but man.
The waiting.
Well that's what I hear about Disney.
That's what I said, but that's why we're trying to do the fan.
I guess if you lived out there and you had an annual pass, it's, I did that once and
I was able to, at the time, the girl that I was with, we would go like once a week because
why wouldn't you?
And then it's free parking for three hours at California Adventure.
And if you have a pass, just spend three hours at Disneyland and then come back another day.
And then you can kind of get everything just done over time.
And it's, I mean, but I mean, that's a luxury living out there, being close enough for it.
If you're going to have to smash it all in like a couple of days, three days, you're
doing three days, but you have three days pass, both parks.
Yeah.
Oh, then you'll be able to crush it.
You'll be able to do everything.
We used to live like a five minute drive from Disneyland and we had the passes.
So we did get to go all the time.
That's pretty good.
Passes are expensive as fuck now.
I think they're, why do we look so, why are we recording so loud?
Are we just having a quiet conversation?
We're not as loud as usual.
Yes.
All right.
The most real few minutes of podcast.
Yeah.
We're actually in actual conversation.
That's what I'm saying.
Season three, episode one is what this feels like.
I don't know.
Maybe it's just me feeling this way, but I just, maybe it was the fact that we were,
we watched a documentary and not just a shitty B movie or something, which I'm not, we watched
a bunch of cool shit, but I don't know, just watching.
And maybe it was the fact that the movie was so inspiring in a way.
Oh, really?
In a way, but we'll get into it.
Yeah, we'll get into it.
That I want to maybe improve my own life and maybe a way to do that is to make it an easier
listening experience for our listeners.
What was the best present you got?
Oh, yeah.
So it's make, make a bunch of people feel bad.
I need to pack another ball here.
Why don't you let it spark a joint and I'll, I'll take one of those out.
Perfect.
So, uh, just real quick, some of the best gifts.
I'll start with the one that that resin plate with the fried rice podcast logo is beautiful.
That is so cool.
I love it.
I couldn't wait to put it somewhere prominent that people see everywhere.
And look, your little Star Trek thing is there too.
Yeah, that's my, I guess that's my little Austin table now.
I tried to plug that when you opened it, uh, for my friend who designed that custom by
request.
She doesn't even do stuff like that.
So it's a one of a kind.
Wow.
Sunshine Spirit Creations on Instagram and Facebook.
My friend Lindsay did great work.
Fuck.
Yeah, it's very cool.
It's one of the prettiest things.
Did you get a picture of that and put it on, we're going to get a picture of that and put
it on the, yeah, we're going to, yeah, we're going to, I have a picture of all the gifts,
but we're going to do, yeah, I'll do individual stuff, um, after this.
But yeah, I need to make this joke or my brain is going to explode.
All my Austin stuff is on the table.
It's Austin-tacious.
Uh, okay.
Sorry.
Uh, and then I also got, oh God, it's, there's some sick ass stuff.
I got a movie slide.
I think it's, it's, it's a movie slide.
This is a Stephen King.
It's like a still, it's like a signed, um, there is a word for that.
Yeah.
Is it a cell?
I don't know if it's a cell from a movie.
If it's, um, no, it's an art print.
That's not, yeah, but it's signed.
It's sick.
Yes.
Um, the Darth Vader speaker phone and I'm going to, you know, what's going to suck right
now is that everybody just wrote, if they wrote who it was from, they wrote it on the
wrapping paper itself.
And if they, and if they, uh, so I don't know, I'm not going to be able to tell you who gave
me most of these.
A couple of these, a couple of these, like, like absolutely one of the coolest fucking
things I got.
Oh, that fucking fart is from Papa Mike himself.
And that is the Dragon Ball Z fucking dab ball.
This is beautiful.
I almost don't want to smoke out of it because I don't want to fuck up, uh, Goku and Vegeta
up there in the top.
Like, it's almost like, it's like a decorative piece.
But then at the same time, all I want to do is smoke out of this because I want to see
them with the vortex of smoke around them powering up while I'm powering up with dabs.
So I know it wasn't a present, but who brought the terrifier, uh, clown thing that we all
saw?
That was a giveaway.
Oh, that was a giveaway.
Yeah.
Do we know who got it?
Papa Mike.
Yeah.
So there we go.
I got a cool Dragon Ball Z bug.
He got a poster I found on Temu.
Not a lot.
I got some comic books from Zach, which are awesome.
It's two Raider comics.
So I think one of the absolute best gifts is the, okay, so we're out there in the back
and I go back there and I think the show's maybe still going on or just, or, you know,
the comedy show part and there's this young woman and she, she goes, Hey, I liked your
set.
And I was like, Oh, thank you so much.
You're like, Hey, and she's like, um, I'm not going to be able to stay for the podcast.
There's some health issues.
I was like, okay, that's a bummer.
And she's like, but I did bring you a gift.
And I was like, Oh, you didn't have to do that.
She's like, well, it's Harry Potter themed.
So just keep an eye out for that.
And then I think her husband, you know, some guy he came and took her, he came back and
in the show, do you remember I get this box that has a Harry Potter on it?
And the moment I pulled the top off, it fucking exploded with a bunch of fucking butterflies
and shit.
And that was, that was very cool.
How fucking cool was that?
That was like one of the best, coolest surprises.
Like, um, as you said, though, who has never met her before, right?
Don't know her or him.
Don't know them at all.
Or if I have dollar box though, I wasn't going to share how much it costs on the podcast.
Mike, you bastard.
I looked, cause I looked it up to see what, what the song was that it was playing.
It was, what was it?
Um, I couldn't, I still haven't found it.
It's Harry Potter, but I just don't know from what scene or movie, whatever, but it's, it's
cool.
You could tell it's a Harry Potter song.
It's just, I don't know what, from what part.
Um, it's very, but oh my God, what a cool gift.
Uh, my buddy, Tomas, he gave me a bunch.
He gave me some books, ass eating for dummies, living with an unusually small penis and then
how to tell her you're gay.
So all things you needed.
That's good.
You should always get things you need.
And then he gave me a geek, uh, gaming magazine that has, um, Aerith from Final Fantasy 7
rebirth on there.
And I don't know if that's some sort of dick move because he knows I hate spoilers and
the game is coming out and there's something in there that if I were to open his gift and
read it, but it's not going to fucking happen to us.
That shit's staying in the plastic.
I'm going to flip over the, I'm not even going to look at it until after I beat the game.
You son of a bitch.
He keeps sending me mysterious links that have not a spoiler and then it's just a YouTube
link.
Like I'm going to click a YouTube link with not a spoiler this close to fucking Final
Fantasy 7 rebirth.
No, thank you, sir.
I'm sure he knows you're smarter than that.
So he just knows that something crazy is going to happen in the game and just making you
more anxious to play it.
Well, it makes me crazy right now with you not watching trailers because I want to talk
to you so bad about borderlands.
I don't even want to know who stars in borderlands.
But here's the thing.
Actually I was talking to, I was talking to Tomas.
Okay, man.
Okay.
Now we're bouncing around.
What did you just say?
Bring that up in a second.
What did you just say?
Oh, he's sending you those things that you think are going to be spoilers to make you
like want to play the game more when it comes out.
Got it.
Okay.
He's, he loves looking shit up and I absolutely want to put my head in a hole, right?
And not know anything about, oh, I was going to say for Final Fantasy 7, because we don't
really talk about video games too much on here.
This they remade Final Fantasy 7, which came out in the nineties, right?
I don't know.
Why don't you explain the...
No, I'm not going to go full blown.
I'm not going to get into the whole spiel.
But the new one is coming.
I don't know if I probably already went into this, but Rebirth, which is part two of a
three part project to remake Final Fantasy 7 comes out in five days as of recording.
And I'm excited.
It's everyone's excited, but there's a very big part that is going to take place during
this chunk of game that the way that they've been telling the story so far, which has had
a lot of dramatic changes to it, could potentially be way different than it was in the original
game.
So I don't want to give away any spoilers, but...
Well, this is going to come out after, so it really is way after.
Mild spoilers for a game that's 25 years old.
Okay?
Well, major spoilers for a game.
So just if you're a fan of Final Fantasy 7 and you haven't played the original or Rebirth,
then just skip ahead a couple minutes.
So all zero of you.
Well, no, but skip ahead, okay?
Is that a valid enough spoiler?
I hate spoilers, so this is me really just skip ahead a couple minutes.
Just go back and watch the Final Fantasy clip I made.
Exactly.
That'll catch you up.
But anyway, in the original game, one of the main characters gets killed.
I'm not even going to say who it is, but just one of the main characters gets super killed
by the bad guy in a very dramatic cut scene that's very shocking.
You don't expect it.
It's like, holy shit, right?
But the first game that we've got of the three-part project, part one, changed so much from the
original game of that section that we're thinking there might be the fans online or speculating
that there could be someone else that gets drastically murdered instead of this other
character and that could change everything.
Well, we've seen that happen in other series, yes.
But this would be, because that death is probably the most, one of the most infamous deaths
of all time in video game history.
It's like it's a girl on your team.
Well, the Walking Dead did that same exact thing.
But don't ruin that for me because I haven't watched Walking Dead.
I'm not, I'm just saying they did the same thing.
Don't spoil that for me, Mike.
We just had a conversation.
This is the spoiler section.
But anyway, when that, so I don't know what's going to happen.
One of the best aspects of the upcoming part of the game is it's opening up the golden,
oh god, what's it called?
The golden corral.
The golden saucer.
It's the casino.
Not the casino, but it's like a mini-game place.
So in the first game, it had a snowboarding game.
It had a fucking little boxing game that you could play at the arcade.
And they were really just on their own fun games.
And so they've already shown, I've seen like one screenshot of Cloud on a Segway going
through the golden saucer because it's so big you need like a Segway to go around.
I'm excited.
The amount of mini-games that they might potentially add to this.
Oh, they could do unlimited.
If they've upgraded the snowboarding game, for instance, to be like an SSX game or whatever
or even just, I mean, I'm so excited.
And I just can't hide it.
Mike, do you want to finish that?
No, I can't.
Come on, finish it.
No, I can't finish it.
It triggered something from when you were in high school or some shit.
You're about to lose control.
No, it triggered me the same way.
I'm always triggered.
That's why I get triggered by Andy a lot with spoilers because you can bring up something
eight years old and Andy says, don't spoil it.
And you're like, wait a minute, Andy, if you haven't seen it in eight years, you're probably
not planning on watching it.
Not true.
I have to be in the mood to watch things.
So I've played The Last of Us, I've played The Last of Us Part II, some of the best video
games of all time, right?
Haven't watched the show because I've played the games, right?
And I need to be in the mood to either want to replay the games and realize I don't have
time so I should just watch the show instead.
That's all great.
I understand that.
And that's all fair for the first year, two, maybe three years.
I think once you pass the statute of limitations for felonies, you should be able to spoil
something.
Seven years ought to be enough.
I like what you just said.
That was very clever.
Yeah, there should be statute of limitations on spoilers.
And I also think that, okay, so say you stab someone and seven years have gone by and they
can't prosecute you for it anymore.
But I know that you stabbed someone, I could choose to not associate with someone who has
stabbed someone, correct?
So what I would say is, yeah, there should be a world where you could freely talk about
spoilers all you want for movies older than eight years or whatever.
But me, I could freely walk away from that situation and choose to spend less time around
people who choose to spoil things for me.
But you don't walk away.
You do with someone, there'll be a three-way conversation and two of them will give us
something to spoil there.
And you say, stop, that is not walking away.
No, that's because-
That is you imposing your will on others.
I feel like that's an attack on me.
Am I wrong Austin?
You're very quiet over there.
But I feel like-
I'm just holding back to spoil the Last of Us story.
I want to, but I won't.
Oh yeah.
No, but I've played the games.
I know the story.
Have you played the sequel?
Yes.
Okay.
So we could actually really spoil some shit for Mike.
Yeah, for real.
Because he hasn't played the games.
Except for that's the whole point is the shows don't always follow the storyline.
Oh, this is going to follow the storyline.
But it should.
It should.
I actually can't wait for 3 to come out.
That's going to be good.
Didn't they sort of barely announce a 3 sort of recently?
They're working on it.
Sort of.
Did they recently say, hey, we're going to make a multiplayer?
We were going to do the multiplayer thing, but we're not anymore.
Now we're going to maybe work on a 3 that'll come out in like 5 to 10 years.
It's the Sonic the Hedgehog effect all over again.
Everyone's like, fuck your multiplayer.
We want a third part.
Speaking of Sonic, I'm just waiting for a reasonable price drop to play Frontiers, but
that has been on my list.
It looks cool.
It's like a third world, third person open world kind of game.
And I like the environment.
And I've got to admit, there's been about maybe 8 or 9 tracks off the soundtrack that
have worked their way into my casual for you mix on YouTube music.
Because I really enjoy classical style orchestrated music.
Not classical.
I don't listen to a lot of classical.
I like orchestrated music.
I like scores from movies and video games and shit.
And Sonic Frontiers has a really, really pretty soundtrack.
I just want them to remaster the Xbox 360 Sonic game.
It was so bad that it's good.
Sonic 06?
Yeah, Sonic 06.
There's just so many weird things about that game.
That has a following though.
The story, there's this princess that just has some weird romance kind of hinted at.
Sonic makes out with a human.
Between her and an anthropomorphic hedgehog.
Yeah, they make out.
Let me grab you and put that in the movies.
Okay, calm down.
I actually liked the Sonic movies for what they were.
I liked the Mario movie too.
What did you mention?
You wanted to talk about Borderlands.
I don't want to talk about Borderlands because I don't want to have it spoiled.
The trailer, whatever.
But I was, when Tomas again, when he brought this up to me, he's like, oh, they're making
a Borderlands.
He's like, this isn't a spoiler.
Well, it sort of is.
They're making a Borderlands movie.
I'm like, okay, that's fine.
You can tell who's movie is being made.
And then I was like, but I don't know how excited I am.
Because it's probably just going to be what?
Jack Black, Chris Pratt, who else?
Who else is in everything now?
I started just naming Chris Evans, the kid who played Spider-Man.
Just put them all in there.
And he's just like, well, one of them.
And I was like, fuck.
And he's like, Jack Black is in it.
And I was like, of course he's in it.
He's in everything.
He's in Mario.
He's in that.
He's in, yeah, what else has he done?
Lots of voice acting.
No, but he's done a shitload recently.
Jumanji, Jumanji 2.
Yeah, he's on a roll.
I'm not mad at it.
I like Jack Black a lot.
But I can even get fatigued on the people that I really like.
If you see too much of, and it sucks because these are years apart, these movies.
But it doesn't feel that way to a viewer.
Well, because a lot of times you're watching them a month apart, not years apart.
Sometimes you're watching movies years after they've come out and you watch them together
and it just feels like, oh, it's just a lot all at once.
I watch the two Jumanjis back to back.
It can be overwhelming.
This feels like a therapy session.
Has anyone watched the Halo show?
I haven't.
But I had been working my way through the Halo series.
I heard the first season they just don't like it and then the second season is just a little
bit better.
Yeah, that's kind of the vibe I've gotten too from what people have said.
Well they've tried to bring in people, not gamers.
So it's like a lot of the other shows.
Sometimes they go too far trying to get away from the story.
They make him take his helmet off and then already like, okay, I don't want to watch
this.
And then I watch a review of it.
I'm like, because I'm not going to watch this.
Let's see what the act man has to say about it.
He's like, butt ass naked master chief.
Alright, master chiefs dude.
But that's like with Mandalorian.
I was about to think, which is weird because I mean Halo is an adaptation of a series where
the character doesn't take his helmet off.
Or if he does, you don't see what he looks like.
And if you do, it's in like a CGI movie that nobody watched or whatever, right?
And you see him as a kid.
But whatever.
But what did you just mention, Mandalorian is a series that no one established other
than Disney themselves that Mandalorians can't take their helmets off.
So they broke their own rules.
And not one character, all of the Mandalorians.
The Mandalorian, Din Djarin broke his own code.
He was in a specific sect of Mandalorian and they were the ones that were not supposed
to remove their helmets or let anyone see their face.
And that was the whole point at the end of the season that he finally takes it off and
reveals that it's Pedro Pascow.
But also all the shots of the Mandalorian in the helmet, it was actually John Wayne's
son.
He's the body guy.
Pedro Pascow just showed up for that last part and did the voices.
Okay that's cool.
But yeah, all the other Mandalorians, they could totally take their helmets off.
Okay, so I was about to say, I mean you're right, that is a good moment.
Just in case you were wondering if I'm fucking Star Wars or anything.
That was a good moment in the series.
I would say that they shouldn't take, Halo's helmet off or John's helmet off.
Master Chief, yeah, of course not.
Because in the show, or sorry, in the games, which I had never played as a kid, but now
I'm playing the Master Chief collection, which is all one through four and the little side
ones.
And we just beat four, my buddy and I.
So I just beat Master Chief collection, which is like six or seven games.
Now I'm going to play five and now there's infinite, right?
And now I think they're working on maybe a new one.
I don't know.
But never in those games is it cut to villagers in village having kids running around.
I did try to watch the first episode and it literally opens with just these alien kids
like, oh, let's go run around in the forest and get in trouble.
And then they stumble upon something they shouldn't.
And then, you know, then I guess aliens invade, which is cool.
But then it's just a lot of boring talking.
It should be a half hour show with Halo just kicking ass or Master Chief just fucking popping
in and kicking ass.
And not taking his helmet off and not talking about it.
Because that's the whole cool thing about Master Chief in the games is that you don't
see his face, but it's not like reference.
It's not like, I can't take my helmet off.
No, no, no.
It's just he just doesn't.
You know what would have made the Star Wars, what are we referring to the sequel trilogy?
Sequel trilogy.
Yeah, OK.
What would have made the sequel trilogy better is if Kylo Ren never took his helmet off or
if he took it off after getting it broken in like the second one or whatever.
Like, but they did that in the first movie.
You're just watching it.
You're like, oh, he's one of the coolest bad guys I've seen.
He takes his mask off and he's like this long haired just guy, skinny guy.
And then he's just whiny.
He's just a whiny guy after that point.
And I'm like, I don't.
It's not.
It wasn't very threatening.
Darth Vader never took his helmet off.
I don't know.
Adam Driver did a good job.
No, Adam Driver's.
He also hates the sequel trilogy, which makes me like him even more now.
He did a great.
He does a great job.
He's a good actor.
Right.
And I saw a recut recently of the final part of the sequel trilogy with the all the ships
pop like where he's going off to fight the those people down in the cave or whatever,
like his Inquisitor dudes.
Yeah.
The Knights of Ren.
Knights of Ren.
They changed the music to Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Taylor.
Tyler.
And it just worked so hard.
I mean, you could put that song on anything.
I do one for that and when him and Rey fight off Snoke's guards.
Oh, hell yeah.
And they put Don't Stop Me Now by Queen.
Oh, yeah.
That's great.
I would watch a whole movie if it was super cut with better licensed songs or whatever
that would just hit harder.
I don't know why there isn't a sub community of people that do that.
Just take entire movies and recut them.
There is.
There's a guy.
Well, they cut this guy cut all of the Breaking Bad show in all six seasons.
Yeah.
Cut them down in all of the episodes, all the important stuff, put it into a two hour
movie.
Oh, fuck.
So it's the whole show.
But it's a two hour movie.
I would watch the fuck out of that.
Just Breaking Bad.
One of the things I hate about it is it drags.
There are parts that drag there.
It's just they're trying to fill time.
They did that with a whole episode where he's trying to kill the fly.
You know what?
I think that which is my favorite episode.
And it's a bottle episode, which is where you have to fill in one location to save money.
And it's just usually it's a it's a it's a budgetary thing.
Sometimes it's deliberate.
I know that community makes a whole episode referencing the fact that it's a bottle episode.
To like even even odd that he's just like, this is a bottle episode.
We can't leave a library.
It's just like they have to and they do stay in the library the whole episode.
Fun fact here.
I did learn there's this movie.
I hope we can figure out what it is.
It was or it was a show show or movie.
I forget.
But Vince Gilligan, Vince Gilligan worked on it.
It was a pilot episode of the show and it involved corrupt cops and a plot to fly a
plane into the World Trade Center.
Oh, pilot episode of the show aired one hundred and ninety days before and a lot of God.
And now years later, Vince Gilligan writes one of the biggest best shows ever.
He's super rich and happy.
You have to talk louder.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
Maybe it's good.
I said that quietly.
Well, it's interesting because this this episode is so mellow.
We're having mellow real conversations today, which is interesting because our theme is
wrestling coming up on the movie.
It's so opposite.
We're just still exhausted from Fried Rice Live.
Yeah, that might be it.
We're just all recovering.
Yeah.
But anyway, I would say let's move on to the movie because why not?
We're an hour in.
So the movie we watched was You Cannot Kill David Arquette in 2020.
And it was a documentary is a documentary starring, I guess, Dr. David Arquette, how
they listed Courtney Cox.
Of course.
Why wouldn't you?
She's in it for like five minutes.
Coco Arquette, which I guess is his daughter.
She gets more credit time than the mom.
Oh, within the step.
Christina McClark.
And Patricia was in here for two minutes.
That was a weird part.
Is the sister the sister's like an artist or something?
No, she's a show.
Have you heard of the show?
Well, I heard of the show.
I just saw they went to her house and there's just like dicks and vaginas on her wall.
Yeah, she's a weird lady.
Have you heard the show Medium?
No, I've heard of it.
She's Medium.
Yeah, she's OK.
So that was just hearing of it.
It was a popular show.
Yeah, well, like maximum weird.
She was also true romance.
Oh, OK.
She's true.
Well, I've seen that a long time.
Yeah, I remember.
Yeah, very hot when she was young.
I need to learn character names.
But she's only in it for a couple of minutes, too.
And no, she well, yeah, she's a pretty.
Well, it's important.
It's an important two minutes.
Yes.
Why does he look like Dr. Phil in that photo?
Who?
David Arkadiev.
David Arkadiev because he does now.
So let's get into it.
We had we previously reviewed Ready to Rumble 2000 and we gave it a pretty high rating because
we loved it.
And that's fun.
Despite Mike pointing out.
Mike saying it was homophobic.
Yeah, despite.
Yeah, Mike saying that there was some homophobic content, which maybe in hindsight there was
that we put some chair, you know, rose tinted glasses on and we ignored.
But whatever.
It's it's it was it's a fun movie.
I don't even think I don't think the gays are mad about it.
No, I don't think it's one that they bring up.
It's like, you know, fuck this movie.
And people genuinely like David Arquette.
And Scott Conn was also in the movie.
I don't know why I'm shitting on him, but.
When David Arquette was promoting this movie, he went on to win the WCW World Championship.
What?
When is a interesting term?
Well, he did.
He was gifted.
Well, but he technically pinned a guy and won a world champion championship and the
fans of wrestling from from 2000 to their 1999, 2000 that time to basically 2018 when
he was doing this documentary.
Fucking David Arquette for doing that.
They're like, yeah, that was the that's when wrestling died is what they said.
They blamed the entire attitude era just ending.
People stop giving a shit about wrestling.
David Arquette.
And so.
Poor guy.
He and then and then his current wife, Christina McLarty, she points out that when he was younger,
he had all these really cool roles.
And one of them was John's.
The other one was from Kill from Wild Bill.
And he had like these he had like these cool parts and he was doing like he was considered
an up and coming actor.
He was on the thing was People magazine or Time magazine.
One of them was like this one where they had Will Smith and Leonardo DiCaprio and Stephen
Dorff and I've actually visibly gassed and went.
I remember all of those guys when they were young, all as a group, becoming kind of famous
together.
The new Brat Pat, maybe I don't even I don't even know if they called it that, but I'm
going to call it that.
But anyway, he was he was up and coming.
Then he did scream and he was Dewey Cox.
I think his name is in that.
But he became Dewey Cox in the world.
Was he Dewey Cox?
Am I just looking at Courtney Cox and I can't get that out of my head.
Let's see if his name is.
Cock Heavy episode.
It is a Cock Heavy.
Well, this was the movie.
Dewey Riley.
He played Dewey Riley.
No, but here's the thing.
I love him and Never Been Kissed.
He's great in A-Legged Freaks.
The screen movies would be nothing without him.
Right.
We'll see the next one without him if he's not in it.
I don't want to spoil anything.
But if you've seen, you know, you know what's up.
And then.
Producer rules.
No, I mean, I'm an actor.
The first one was producer, but he produces a lot of stuff.
I don't know.
It sucks because he he's done so much that we like.
Yeah.
But the screen moves are great.
And then, but then he did.
Yeah.
But then he did scream and people started treating him like typecasting him as a goofball.
And his career never really recovered from that.
And Ready to Rumble was was this was sort of a nail in the coffin of like his respectability
both in the wrestling world and maybe as an actor.
I don't think people get too much shit about it.
Not as an actor, but as a Leo DiCaprio type.
Yeah.
Like a leading man type.
So here we are.
Now he has super hot wife.
Seems like a mansion full of oversized oversized furniture.
And I don't know.
At one point, he's also small.
He sits.
No, he's not so small that the giant chair built to make people look like they're like
he he basically has furniture from when Jack got up all the way up to the top of the bean
stock and walked into the Giants house.
He would see like a chair in there.
That's what for some reason David Arquette has.
That's what I wrote down for.
I was like the producers like let's get some shots of him with comically large items.
But he must have owned them already.
But he you know he doesn't fuck around with the giant tennis racket very often.
But he has an enormous tennis racket that he brings out and hits enormous tennis balls
with.
But you remember his sister's house and the artwork and they're just not there's kind
of artistically strange.
I would say that with great wealth comes great eccentricity.
Yes.
And I think that you can be a normal human being and then when presented with a shitload
of money how cool could some things be.
Exactly.
If I had the if I had David Arquette money I don't know what kind of house I would live
in.
I do actually think about it all the time.
I would have it I would have absolutely a Batman style underground Batcave that is a
home theater.
Yes.
But when I say home theater it could fit like 20 people.
But my seat in the middle would be on its own way better than all the other seats and
it would be in the perfect position to watch things.
Everyone else is just next to me.
Would I have a dungeon that you keep Mike in?
I would keep Randy in there and then when Mike's being bad I'll put him in there and
spend time with Randy.
It's a time out.
But I don't know.
But I would that's the thing that's the dream I would have.
Underground subterranean it would always be cool temperature wise.
It would be a fun game.
What would you do with David Arquette money?
Yeah.
David Arquette money right?
I'd have a David Arquette kind of wife for sure.
And we all like David Arquette that's the thing.
He's a nice guy.
Although.
Alright so this documentary then gets into him 2018.
He's out of shape.
He's it's been a while since he's had the significant role that he could really sink
his teeth into.
Sort of dropped off the mat and he's thinking he's avid wrestling.
Oh he's a drinker.
He's getting drunk all the time partying right.
Openly going to the strip clubs and having strippers trying to make out with him and
his wife's cool with that.
And then.
That stripper was fucking gross by the way.
I gotta point out that too.
I was like god damn.
You got David Arquette money.
What about that time where we saw him fully naked except for just the little dick sleeve.
And the Russian run off.
Yeah we could have done without that many ass shots.
We could have done without the dick sleeve thing.
And the girl just openly flirting with him while spraying his balls with the spraying
tin stuff.
There's a few.
Ok.
There's some strange choices.
I'll say I liked the artistic direction that the directors took.
I think it's entertaining as far as documentaries go.
Well I think part of that was to show you that weirdness we're talking about what you
get when you get that kind of money.
Because if you think about all the different things they did throughout the movie.
It's her artwork, Patricia Arquette's artwork.
It's him showing his dick and balls all over the place.
It's his over comically oversized furniture.
They kind of focused on some of the weirdness.
He did mention that his dad was a clown.
Right.
And that he used to play a little ukulele around them.
And that their whole family was performers or whatever.
Yeah they lived in a commune.
They lived in a commune.
So yeah.
David Arquette grew up in a commune with Patricia Arquette.
She became medium and severance.
And he's Dewey Riley from Scream.
I will not say what my wife said about that whole relationship.
But it was not pretty.
It would get her banned from the show.
Oh.
Yeah.
So I guess if you want to be successful be a communist.
Take from that what you will.
I don't.
Wait.
Sorry I threw you under the bus honey.
I'm going to trust Austin's instinct to move forward past what you just said.
But then a really part of me wants to dig in.
We'll talk about it after this.
And maybe I just write down a moment where I edit this out.
No.
Just.
Okay.
Let's just.
Austin.
This.
It started out like a conventional documentary.
And you know like sometimes you see when you're like oh yeah let's watch that.
And then you put it on the documentary and it like has a really cool intro.
Like it has that Brogan guy that just hates.
Yeah.
And then it just cuts.
It goes to Rick Flair sitting down and I was like oh god this is going to be a snooze
fest isn't it.
And it wasn't.
No.
Absolutely not a snooze fest.
Exciting to watch.
The whole way through.
There's a moment.
And then it gets real.
But not to the point where you're weeping.
Like there's documentaries that you'll watch and there's no way to stop yourself from
tearing up because you're watching something truly absolutely tragic.
I would say that there's maybe one or two moments in this that are hard to watch.
Like when he's taking his ketamine supplements.
Right.
I think looking back on it.
Looking back on it.
That's what I was saying earlier when I said before we ever started.
I said my take on this movie is a little different.
It's always different.
You always.
You go against the grain.
You're a contrarian.
It's not even being contrarian.
No.
I love the movie.
I'm not talking about that.
I love this movie.
I'm looking back on it.
I don't know if I can watch it because I feel so bad for David Arquette in a way that's
visceral.
Did you get to the end?
Yes.
I watched the whole thing.
He's badass now.
He's good to go.
He's badass now sort of.
That's not.
I'm not going to look anything past what his future, what his life is now.
I'm just going to pretend that the end of the documentary is how he's lived the rest
of his life for the rest of his life.
But I'm saying even that, this movie was such a cry for help.
The whole thing.
The whole, from him for attention for.
You can see his mental illness in this movie when you think back of this movie.
If you really paid attention to this movie, this movie paints him as so mentally ill,
crying for help even in the ending.
Sure.
There's a moment where he's just, I'm a mess.
Yeah.
I'm a piece of work.
I didn't see it that way.
But as you're watching it, it's enjoyable.
That's my point.
That's what I'm saying.
I love the movie watching.
From the start, if you're informed, if you're informed, if you watch Ready to Rumble, everything
that happened between Ready to Rumble and this movie, you kind of already know where
he's at.
But you see him, he's got a hot wife.
He's got David Arquette money.
David Arquette money.
He seems to have cool kids.
And he's not happy.
But he still has something inside of him that he wants to prove.
He's still not happy.
Which makes you like, okay, let's go on this journey.
He's not happy.
He's still not happy.
I wouldn't say he's not happy.
That's the part that I say is depressing about it.
He has all of this stuff.
I wouldn't say he's not happy.
I think he's happy.
I think this wrestling thing has been eating at him.
I think that's what this is about.
No, he does have a drinking problem and a partying problem.
And there was like him at that wrestling con where he was just laying on the ground and
looking fucking wrecked.
Yeah, he has to take ketamine as a-
Because he's fucked up.
Yeah, ketamine.
Sure.
Yeah.
That's my point.
But at the same time, hot wife, David Arquette money-
It's great.
Wouldn't you be happy?
He's very happy.
He's sitting alone at that convention and nobody's getting his autograph or anything.
Also no one's finding him.
He either destroys him-
Right, though.
He still doesn't like-
But at the same time, I feel like that might have been an editing choice because yes, there
was him not getting any autographs, but then they sort of showed a quick little him taking
a picture or him hugging a guy on the way out.
Now I thought the altercation with those two goons from the beginning when he meets him
at the bar, that was sad.
Because then he was just like, hey, what's up guys?
I was thinking maybe I could come up on stage and say what's up or whatever.
And you disrespect a little shit.
They got on him.
Sure.
Listen.
Now I have a friend, Shane, who is an independent wrestler and he's in the indie scene and
he is a diehard when it comes to the wrestling continuity, the K-fabe of it all, the fucking
all of that stuff.
And I don't know, I didn't ask him how he feels about David Arquette, but I would imagine
that he would understand that promos got a promo and that celebrities, they showed Donald
Trump taking out a fucking dude at one point and we know that that would never happen.
He's too old.
So yes, maybe winning the title was a little too much, but at the same time, who gives
a shit?
Well, now that's the way it would be.
David Arquette really wants to make fans of wrestling respect him fun.
But I really think this was just a cool vehicle for us to get some more David Arquette.
I think he was smart.
He's like, what would be a good documentary?
How about me trying to be a wrestler again?
And then it gives me a chance to get in shape.
I can show off my hot new wife, my David Arquette money, my oversized furniture, my super big,
all my costumes, my warehouse of costumes, all my storage.
So basically the whole thing was method then.
And so he's just taking ketamine because he's method acting.
Starting from the bottom to like backyard.
He meets that guy that looks like a trailer park boys character and goes to the backyard
wrestling, gets fucked up.
Yeah.
So he goes on a journey.
This is a three part fucking journey.
You see him at his lowest, fat, overweight David Arquette, maybe not fat, but overweight.
Unhealthy.
And then you get him sort of not giving too much of a story.
He like sort of getting into it and he goes to backyard wrestling and he gets destroyed.
He gets fucking the lights broken on him.
You know, the stage, the stage broke prior to him even going on.
They had to rebuild the stage and some jackass on the sides like, you tell me this whole
time the stage been there, you didn't have a bolt in there.
You guys are crazy.
And they kept that in there to show like this is for some fucking backyard shit.
Yeah.
So he does that.
He gets the respect of Hillbilly Joe and Hillbilly Jack.
Great.
Sure.
Right.
But then the best part of the documentary maybe is he goes to Mexico and he meets the
luchadores.
And he gets popular.
That was after the weird little puppet scene, right?
No, I think the marionette scene happens later.
But yeah, dude, the Bob Barker's marionette theater, which I've never been to, which I
want to go to now more than almost anything in the world.
What a hauntingly beautiful little scene that was with David Arquette where it's just him
alone other than the cameras, I guess, but just alone in the Bob Barker marionette theater.
There's a little marionette of himself and he's just having a conversation with himself
and it's very deep.
And then he starts wrestling the devil because the devil comes up and starts talking to him
trying to get into his head.
And then he literally as a marionette wrestles the marionette, the devil.
They cut it in a way that looks like a real little wrestling match.
What a fucking great scene that was.
Thanks for pointing that out.
I forgot about that, but that's a great one.
And then Diamond Dallas Page.
Yoga.
Yeah, DDP Yoga.
So DDP Yoga, which is a great way to lose weight, especially if you're a man and you're
older.
It's the way because DDP is like just a jacked guy in his fucking 60s it looks like.
And he does yoga all the time.
And it looked like that's all he taught David Arquette was some yoga.
For what the scenes they shot, they went to the beach, did some yoga, did some yoga at
his compound in Cancun, Mexico.
Good for you, DDP.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Or they said, hey, DDP, do you want to go to Cancun, Mexico?
David's going to be down there for some lucha training.
So like, what do you think?
He's like, yeah, fuck yeah, let's go.
Then David meets up with the luchadors.
They're awesome.
Performing in the street was the cool.
That was the moment.
Why can't our street, American street performers do that?
People would fucking lose their minds.
Are you kidding?
Especially if it took longer than, longer than the light took.
Like if the luchador guys, like if we had in our streets one second longer than the
red light lasted, people would be killed by the, if we ran over.
The road rage is too real.
But yeah, in Mexico, it seems probably near Cancun, but in Mexico they had these, the
luchador, I keep saying luchadors, I think that's correct, but it's the lucha wrestlers.
All my knowledge comes from that cartoon like lucha lucha.
Or Nacho Libre.
But they're the masked Mexican wrestlers.
And their masked culture, speaking of a culture where taking your mask off ruins everything.
This is, I'm fucking tired now guys.
This is exactly what they do.
Which is you never see them without their mask.
They even blur out the one time that the guy, they catch one of the dudes.
But most of the other guys, most of the other time they film it in a way that you only see
the back of their heads if they're maskless.
And so- And that's basically them trying to pull the
mask off.
That's what they do.
Oh shit, crazy.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
They try to take your mask.
So David Arquette trained with them without a mask, because he's not a lucha.
And they taught him that really cool black widow move that she does in every movie that
she can do it in.
Yes.
Where she wraps her legs around the head and does the spinning katana move, I don't know
what it's called, but it has a name.
He does it.
And you see one of those things where it's like, I don't think I'd ever be able to actually
jump that high, trust a guy to fucking work with me, catch me, whatever.
But he does it.
And he doesn't.
He freaks out a couple times, bounces on the road, freaks out a couple times.
It's a real moment.
Yeah.
Where he's just, the guy's like, look, I got you.
Just fucking do it.
And he's like, my leg up there by your fucking neck.
He's like, just fucking do it.
And then when he does it, there's a visceral moment in me where I'm just like, fuck you,
David Arquette.
Good for you, bro.
When it gets to the actual match they performed for all those people, I was like thinking,
if this camera cuts to these two kids eating chips one more time, I'm gonna lose it.
It does, like three times.
I saw another good move there too, because there was one guy, these two guys have this
guy in the corner and they knock him down and they both slide out on the court and they
pull his nuts into the bowl.
And he can grab a leg and use the turnbuckle to smash his nuts.
That was a great move, absolutely.
So after-
Is that where he goes from there to the-
Well, no.
So, oh, well, we'll get there.
No, no, that's later.
So after training with the guys, they go and do street performance, which we just talked
about a little bit, but it's at a busy intersection in downtown Mexico at the crosswalk.
They do these absolutely amazing fucking mini wrestling matches where they're not slamming
each other to the ground.
Every single move is almost a reversal.
It's all the aerial type stuff.
Yeah, exactly.
So if someone's about to do a suplex, it's not a suplex where they slam him to the ground.
Instead the other guy wraps his legs around the dude's head and then does a spin-off,
but then that guy does a backflip and lands.
So they're always on their feet.
Yeah, it's cool.
And then there's one little, they do like a little victory, right?
And then David-
They go on the top of the mountain.
What's that?
Oh.
They go up to the top of the mountain and it's like they're all just screaming all the
way around.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But before they, they climb up there and then they're just like looking out and it's like
a, kind of like a deep, like quiet moment.
And then it just cuts this fat guy in a mask.
It's one of the top dudes.
And he just starts screaming primally.
And then all the other dudes start doing it as well, including David Arquette's weird friend
who was a Sandy Hook first responder.
We didn't really get into that, but they briefly go over like, yeah, David Arquette five years
ago met this guy at a, or outside the Super Bowl, I think, and saw a Sandy Hook first
responder hat.
And he's like, do you have a ticket?
The guy's like, no.
He's like, well, you do now.
You're going with me.
Which is very cool.
Yeah.
Absolutely a David Arquette thing that I would expect him to do.
He gives me those vibes.
Yeah.
He seems like a very fucking cool dude.
I feel like if you met him in real life, if he wasn't having an episode, if he wasn't
drunk or whatever, which I feel like if the end of the documentary taught me anything,
he's clean, he's sober, he's buff.
So this is David Arquette that I want to meet.
Where is Scott Conn this entire time?
During the promotion?
During the whole that and this whole documentary?
They didn't even mention it.
They didn't even bring him up?
Nothing.
I wonder, we don't have a little laptop, but can you look up Scott Conn's thoughts on David
Arquette?
Scott Conn's thoughts on David Arquette.
Yeah.
Sure.
So anyway, they do the street wrestling and the street wrestling is amazing and then David
Arquette goes out and he does a round and he sort of half asses it and he doesn't collect
any money from any of the cars.
And when he half asses it, one of the other dudes in Spanish says to the other guy, I
thought you said this guy was cool.
What the fuck?
And so then after David Arquette watches some more, you see him go like, no, I can't half
ass this.
This is for real.
He goes out there, does some cool shit, like has a good match, not as good as theirs, but
like pretty decent and goes and collects some money from them, some dinero.
And it's pretty cool.
Then they go to the mountain top to have their primal scream and then we're back in the States.
And oh, they give him, so they give him his own mask, a pink one, so now he's Lucha and
he goes and does a show where we see them nut smash and that show is attended by those
kids eating chips.
You're right.
And the show is great.
He does a good job.
He does like, he does them proud.
And at the end, one of the dudes signs and gives him his mask and David Arquette is crying
and he knows it's a big deal and he turns to his big Sandy Hook friend and he goes like,
hey man, they gave me my mask.
And the guy's like, yeah, that's pretty big honor, isn't it?
He doesn't give a shit.
You can tell his friend is just there to hang out and be a support system for David, which
I get and it's fine, but he doesn't give a shit about wrestling.
I don't think he's a wrestling guy.
I don't think he's a fan.
I think he's just a fan of having his buddy and having his buddies back, which is nothing
wrong with that.
He gives me very Truman shows, best friend vibes.
If that was a real relationship and not an actor, whatever Truman's perspective of his
best friend was, is the vibe that I get from David Arquette's best friend.
We don't want to compare people involved in Sandy Hook to actors.
There's not really.
Oh shit.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
we don't talk about that.
We don't get into that.
But actually, no, but I do want to be clear.
There were no actors involved in Sandy Hook.
That stand very, very firm on that.
That's a fucking weird conspiracy theory.
I have no idea where it came from and what the fuck are people even on?
He gets that Lucha tattoo.
Oh, he gets Lucha tattoo underneath Macho Man and his wife.
Which we should know because it comes up later.
Roxanne or whatever.
No, what is her name?
Oh my.
Melinda.
Oh, she's wearing a red dress.
Where whole cluts are in the ring.
I didn't know who that was.
No, that was Macho Man.
Yes.
Was it Macho Man?
Yes, Macho Man and his wife.
There's a very famous red dress moment where Macho Man brings her on and they have a moment
and so at the end, spoilers for this documentary, he brings his wife out in a red dress that
she looks stunning in and it looked like they killed it.
Like that was such a cool moment.
Like he got to recreate.
Interposing the two of them together.
Yeah, it was a really cool moment.
That was awesome.
So he comes back to the States and then he, so is this like the third part of his journey?
Where does he go wrestle again?
Is it the, it's not the legend one because this is right before he has a drop off again.
Yes.
Oh, this is the one where he gets fucked up?
Yes.
Okay, so.
Real death matches.
He goes to the, he goes to a match where it's pretty shady and already when he's standing
outside they're carrying a boy out that looks like he's 16 and he's just, they're, they're
like these big dudes are carrying him out going and I hear that you can overhear people
go like he didn't even finish this match.
Like he got too fucked up and you can see David Arquette nervous.
Okay, fuck.
And so he gets in there and they start just beating, this dude's just beating the shit
out of him, right?
Hitting him with lights, hitting him with this, cutting his face, cutting his whatever.
You think he knew going in that that, that that death match shit is real, that they're
not fucking around?
Well, here's the thing, to a degree, you don't cut a guy's neck.
You cut a little bit on the top of their forehead to cause the bleeding to go down their face.
Right.
You cut maybe on their arms if you're cool with it.
I know that like.
Razor blades, right.
But Mankind would be the kind of dude that, that was Mick Foley's character, one of Mick
Foley's characters.
He did Cactus Jack, Mankind and Doo Love.
But I'm saying this isn't WCW stuff.
This is different.
No, this is, yeah, this was the, I don't know if it was the, the one that he got rejected
from at the start or this was his first like sort of next step.
Because remember he, he has an ongoing feud quote unquote with this other younger wrestler
guy and then they end up being like tag team partners or whatever.
But yes, he goes on to do this thing and they beat the shit out of him with all these different
things and they're cutting him up and shit.
And he gets his throat fucking cut.
And we don't mean cut, we mean jugular.
And there's a scene in the hospital where they finally do show it.
They hide it pretty well throughout it.
But I don't, you know.
Right when that rag comes off and you see it bleed for just two seconds and it's just
bloop bloop.
You're like, oh shit, he got fucked up.
Like death fucked up.
That was bad.
But I will say this, right when his neck got cut and he realized how hard, how heavy he
was bleeding, he steps out of the ring, he's about to leave.
And then there's a moment where he was like, no, fuck.
And so he goes back in the ring and we're talking like his neck is heavily bleeding.
He should fucking get to the hospital as soon as possible.
He goes back in the ring, gets defeated immediately.
Just like the guy pins him quickly because they need to get him out of there.
And then he bounces.
But people cheered him on for it.
I think that's where he got real redemption.
But it also broke his confidence in wrestling because after that he started drinking again
because of the pain of it all, the recovery.
He started doing drugs and I don't know what he was doing, drinking or whatever.
But he dropped off the wrestling thing and then it cuts that lonely part where he's at
the wrestling convention.
Not the one where he's signing stuff, but where he's at the wrestling convention and
he's just in that hallway and he's just laying on the ground fucked up or whatever, depressed,
whatever it is.
And that was sad.
And you're like, God damn, all that for nothing.
And then we end up just getting disappointed in David Arquette.
It cuts to him in his fucking ass going like, you know, this is the cycle, broken or whatever.
It's really relatable.
And then you cannot kill David Arquette.
This motherfucker starts training again.
He starts working out again.
He gets back in fucking rib shape.
He gets back out there.
He wrestles Tyler, is it Tyler Perry?
No, not Tyler Perry.
Who's the, who's his friend that passed away?
Luke Perry.
He wrestles Luke Perry's son, you know, like a legit kind of pro wrestling match.
And they have this, and he has like this cool redemption.
So I mean, I honestly, this is, I can't say it's the best documentary I've ever seen because
I've, you know, Fog of War with Robert McNamara.
I've had to kind of hard to use a documentary though.
The way they did it, it's almost like his story, but almost like a biography more than
a documentary.
But it's a documentary.
It's, I mean, it has to be classified as documentary.
That was such the bummer part of the movie.
Like he gets cut, he's in the hospital, and he's watching Joe Rogan and, scroll down just
once.
Tony Hinchcliffe?
Yeah, Tony Hinchcliffe and Jake the Snake Roberts.
Jake the Snake's like, get a day job David.
Can you just imagine?
Man, in the recovery process and they're talking shit.
Like that's fucked up.
No, you're absolutely right.
But he recovered and he, and I think he's, I think he kicked ass.
I think he's doing, I think he's.
He looked great on the thing and even at the end he says, at the very, very end when they're
running the credits and they're showing all the stuff going down, oh yeah, he wrestled
Jack Perry.
That's the wrestler that he wrestled who's Luke Perry's son.
And at the very end it just cuts to him.
And this is like healthy, you know, David Arquette money, David Arquette hot wife, David
Arquette, the one we want.
And he's like, I'm never going to be a great wrestler.
But and then it just kind of cuts out.
I'm like, yeah, you're not going to be a great wrestler.
But you've redeemed yourself, I think, in the eyes of the wrestling community, at least
to mine, if that meant anything to you, David Arquette, if you're listening to this.
Because how many people have reviewed You Cannot Kill David Arquette?
I'm hoping no one.
And I hope you have a Google search ready to pick up on reviews of your documentary.
Because we love you, buddy.
Even though Tim, or sorry, not Tim, Mike thinks you have a mental illness.
Oh, he thinks he has a mental illness.
I just agree with him which makes me feel bad for him.
And whatever Mike said, or Mike's wife said.
Oh, God.
And also what Mike said about your movie last time.
Yeah, man.
So let's rate this thing, unless you had more notes.
No, I got through them all actually.
Yeah, this was a great conversation.
I'm going to give this a strong B. Can't give it a B plus because, you know, it's, you know
what, I feel like B's a little high but I really enjoyed it.
Like just the visceral enjoyment of it all.
Ranked it higher.
The importance of it as far as like documentaries go, there are more valuable documentaries
you can watch with your time that address more relevant issues, you know, that like
are more prevalent to like the problems of the earth, like climate change or, you know,
or like what's happening in other countries that you're unaware of or even then there's
some animal ones that are interesting enough just to know how the world works.
So in hindsight, David Arquette's Redemption of the Wrestling World and of their fans,
I don't know how high that ranks as far as importance scale but I enjoyed the hell out
of it.
It's a great one to watch while you're high which I think is important for this particular
podcast so I give it a B. That's my justification for it if you're wondering why it went so
high.
Okay.
I'm going to give this movie, I'll tell you, I'm going to give it two ratings, one for
me and one for my wife.
My wife watched this with me.
I don't know if I'll allow it but be louder.
Okay.
I'll allow it.
You can say them both but I don't know if I'll allow it to adjust the system.
I don't care what you do.
I'll tell you this, if you want to think about a movie, if you're watching it, once again
not high, I'll tell you, I did not watch this movie high.
It's a great redemption arc story as a movie and making you, I think one of the things
I like about a documentary type movie, biographies, that they make me think that they're not just
like a regular movie.
If I want to see that kind of movie I'll go watch Guardians of the Galaxy.
This I want a documentary to make me think about things and this did that.
So for me it's a B plus.
My wife was a B. Same reasons.
We discussed, we talked about this movie for two hours after this movie and then this morning
she brought it up again.
That's it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I like that.
I don't watch a whole lot of documentaries but I have a top two and that's through the
gift shop.
Okay.
Really good one about strigth feeding stuff and then Steve-O Demise and Rise.
Oh, about Steve-O?
It's almost, it's kind of similar.
Similar, yeah.
I feel like it sort of feels that way, yeah.
This one I think is probably my third favorite documentary and I gave it a B.
Awesome.
So this is a strong ass B.
Yeah.
So we here at Friday Night's Podcast are giving it a B. I love it.
Great job.
Let's go to what we're going to watch next time.
I had to write this down.
I'm kind of coming up with my own little tropes for this show.
It's like another, not to say that we're going to do this but like each movie we have three
things.
Is it a Christmas movie?
Is the woman a villain?
And after this episode is it live?
I will say no part of this took place through Christmas so that eliminates that.
His wife seems lovely.
Even his ex, Courtney Cox of course, she seems great and his daughter is cool because she
flips off to wrestlers during, when he's getting his ass kicked.
So I think all the women characters on this are great.
And is it live?
Now it didn't air live but it wasn't done in takes so it is a live slice of life.
So I would argue that we're seeing a slice of live life shown to us later on in our choosing
unlike Saturday Night Live which is aired live everywhere all at once across the world.
They don't just hold on to it in New York to let us peasants on the west coast watch
it later.
We all get to watch it universally at the same time.
New York everywhere in the world.
People in Japan could technically watch Saturday Night Live Sunday morning or Sunday afternoon
or whatever the fuck time it is over there.
Live.
Is there a country where Saturday Night Live you're not allowed to watch it?
China?
Oh I'm sure.
North Korea, China.
Most of the Middle East probably.
So Mike is technically right if he's in North Korea.
Yeah was that your, is this the whole thing at the end you were going to say I've been
in North Korea the whole time.
So what are we recommending?
PXC Bullhead City.
I'm recommending going kind of back to our roots Night of the Comet.
Night of the Comet.
Okay.
It's Comet stuff south most of humanity a pair of 80s valley girls hits the mall and
battle hordes of blood thirsty zombies.
Okay now I'm just going to use this little zoom bar to see how quickly it takes to get
titties.
I don't know the algorithm is choosing.
I found titties.
Okay so it took about 10 minutes in.
Okay 18 minutes in there might I saw maybe another titty.
Okay so Night of the Comet 1983 sci-fi when a passing comet snuffs out most of humanity.
Did you already read this out?
Yes.
Okay gotcha.
Alright.
Zombies in a mall.
Austin?
So this movie is called Steel.
Oh with Shaq?
Yeah I just saw that.
Oh buddy hell yeah my dude you might have got my vote.
I'll talk about Steel all day long.
1997 to stop terrorists from using lethal technology he invented a weapons developer
transforms himself into a hammer wielding superhero.
I mean but this is so interesting because Steel is like a Superman character and I don't
even think they reference Superman inside this whole movie.
Is Shaq that name basically?
It's not the character kind of.
Shaq he's more Iron Man that can't fly with a hammer.
That's an app description.
He's Master Chief with a grab hammer.
And no helmet.
Well no he has a helmet I think sometimes.
Sometimes.
I didn't even know this movie existed I knew the one where he's a genie existed which if
that comes on TV I'll be recommending that one time.
Yeah but what about the one with instead of watching the one with Shaq as a genie we should
watch the one with Sinbad as a genie.
Kazam or Shazam.
Shizzy.
No I'm just kidding.
You belong in a different universe.
Jutt Nelson's in this bitch.
Okay so we got Steel who's writing these down?
You got a pen?
No there's only going to be three I think we can keep up.
Oh thank you.
Steel.
That's a good one.
Living comment.
Night of that's not going to win Mike.
I'm just telling you right now because already there's one that's beaten yours if he doesn't
vote for mine which I was going to pick I just saw Boondock Saints is up there.
That was the last movie.
I'm allowed to recommend it twice.
I was going to think I think we're alone now was the one I was going to pick.
It's a weird choice but.
There might be some trigger words in that review.
I think we're alone now?
Yeah.
It's got a little dinklage in it.
Oh well never mind I'm going to change mine.
Little baby peter dinkwitch.
Wow.
What the fuck.
I don't know I used to think he was cool then I just heard him complaining about a bunch
of shit online and I'm like okay fuck you dude.
Oh but you have to attack him differently.
You can't make fun of his stature.
That's ableist.
You have to attack his opinions.
It's okay I can say that because I am ableist.
It's very good.
Well shit I don't know how to argue with that.
If you just openly say you're ableist then I have to make the decision whether or not
to allow the content but I think I'm going to just say that it's a free world and free
market and you know you can listen or don't listen.
I've already blasphemed so much in the last 40 episodes.
Alright so fuck it.
We're watching Steel with Shaq because I don't even have a real contender right now.
Maybe Heathers?
Okay we're not going to just pick from the algorithm here.
No I added these all to my list last night.
I was even going to pick Batman.
Six days I looked.
Oh okay.
Or Studio.
Okay well.
Wouldn't that be more of an A movie?
They are.
We eliminated that a long time ago.
You can pick whatever you want if it's on 2B.
Fair enough.
I want to watch this one.
Fuck it.
Alright we're watching Steel.
That was just a good choice.
Yeah.
Solid choice.
Well I mean what do you vote for?
I would vote for Steel.
Okay.
I'd rather watch Steel than that other movie.
God I hope this movie is good.
Mine I always use from the movies we've watched to be recommends and I just pick one out of
that six or seven that are there.
I don't know if it's searching.
I think I only got to pick two movies and one of them was fucking slipstream.
Yeah.
Well now your other one is Steel.
Steel I think you're going to make a comeback.
I remember Steel.
You're going to make a comeback.
Did you mean this one the 2015 Steel?
No Shaq.
Shaq Steel.
So people listening at home watch the 1997 Steel.
You're more than welcome to watch the 2015 Steel but we're not going to talk about it.
What is that one?
Which one?
The 2015 Steel.
I like it.
When the life of a successful journalist is suddenly sidelined by panic disorder he copes
by creating an alter ego that explores his past drama.
Romance, drama, mystery, LGBT.
Yeah but does he fall in love with his own alter ego?
That'd be interesting.
Oh I don't want to get copyrighted.
Yeah you're always going to say what are you doing Andrew?
Hold on.
If you're looking for the titties again.
I guess but in a different way.
I just want to know if he creates an alter.
Oh no I don't know that guy.
I thought I knew him.
I've seen him in something.
Chad Connell.
What else has he been in?
You're pretty high.
No I'm just curious.
Oh interesting.
All of the other movies he plays like a straight guy.
Yeah it's acting.
One of them.
One of the two.
I have no idea which.
Sure it's just like I was maybe expecting more LGBT content because maybe they were
you know famous for that.
You see how many Christmas movies he's made?
I love Christmas movies.
Maybe that's where I recognize him from.
A lot of Hallmark stuff.
He's a Hallmark actor.
Which I don't mind.
I like a good crappy Hallmark movie or whatever.
You know what I like is when they combine my favorite sub genre of movies which is repeating
time loops.
So Groundhog's Day all the way up to Looper.
Right.
Edgard Tomorrow.
Edgard Tomorrow is one of my favorites.
I love the book too.
I read the book after watching the movie because I was like that's dope.
It's cool.
But yeah repeating time loops.
Oh Time Crimes.
It's a Spanish foreign film but there's not a lot of dialogue.
Well there's some dialogue.
When they're doing the sciency stuff.
But that's a great time travel movie.
Fuck I shouldn't have recommended that.
Is that too big?
I don't know but we've already chosen.
We're watching Steel with Shaquille O'Neal.
This could be your time to do research for next week.
Yeah it's not on here.
High Crimes.
Alright.
Okay so yeah we're going to watch Steel.
I know it's a mistake.
I'm just high and I allowed it to happen.
But Steel is going to be a just a really fun fun time to talk about.
And that is not the LGBT movie.
That is the Shaquille O'Neal one.
Yeah just to be clear let's do copyright free music and we will get out of here.
Unless there's anything else you guys have on your mind.
Oh we got our show next week.
Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Next week's show will be all different.
It will be kind of fun.
So yeah this is actually going to be like a weird.
This is going to calm in between two stormers maybe actually.
Bringing back the SNL story again.
This episode might be the calm between the two storms.
It is because you're going to get that crazy live episode last week and you're getting
this one now in between.
And then next week we're going to.
If we don't do.
I mean it's again a production manager meeting kind of thing.
But like if we don't do a double episode where we cover this movie that we just steal.
Or we talk about Steel at the Glitchcade Glitch.
But anyway we're doing a special on location Fried Rice episode.
Which is going to be at the Glitchcade Arcade Bar.
Glitch Barcadians.
That's a cool name.
I've never been there.
Have you been there Andrew?
No.
But it looks dope.
From all the pictures I've seen it's a full blown arcade.
It's a bar.
We're going to be there partying on March 2nd if you're in the area.
But this is not a.
This is not an open event.
This is going to be.
We're going to do the comedy show at the Heat Hotel March 2nd at 8 o'clock.
Then after that we're going to go up to the Glitch Hangout.
Do a little after party thing.
Or go around.
Whatever.
Once we got to get to the Glitch at 1.
They're going to start closing down.
They're going to kick everybody out except for us.
And then we start recording.
VIP after our cocktail mix Fried Rice podcast special.
It's going to be next week.
And then after that we should have some normal episodes.
And then there will be live at Comic Con.
And then we should normalize out.
So if you're a fan of regular episodes you'll get more of these.
And if you're a fan of live episodes you're going to get a couple more of those.
So buckle up buckaroos.
Anything else?
Anything you guys want to plug?
Sunshine Spirit Creations.
Thank you so much for the resin.
I didn't even get through all my presents.
I'm so sorry.
We started.
I got to the Harry Potter one.
Just a quick shout out to my mom for the She Got Me Christmas Story leg lamp lights which
are cute.
I have a Darth Vader speaker phone from like the 80s that you plug into an actual landline.
It makes a great speaker.
Yeah.
The box does.
I got a full Darth Vader with a voice activated.
You press a button and he talks.
That's pretty cool.
My buddy Tomas gave me, again not smoking weed, not being a weed smoker, he gave me
a pipe that looks, if you cover up the bowl part, exactly like the Hulk's penis.
It's just a thick, veiny, like I just real quick I'll hand this to you.
I'll hand you this thick veiny.
The right way.
That's just full blown Hulk dick.
Am I wrong?
Yeah.
With like three slits.
Yeah look, Hulk dick.
It's just a veiny, thick, green, just bulbous hand.
But if you look at it from the back and you hold just the sides of the top, it's a huge
throbbing Hulk dick.
And he got me that and I don't know if it's because he's like, oh Andy likes Marvel, it's
the Hulk.
Andy likes dick.
Whatever.
Well I don't know if he, I don't think he, I don't think dick was on his mind when he
bought that.
I think he legit thought it was a cool pipe because it was the Hulk hand, which it is.
I don't think he, when he grabbed it in his hand.
It just happened to you later.
Yeah.
It's just when I grabbed it.
Anyway.
You got a couple, you got a Hulk dick, a cock wine, and a bunch of Barbies.
A bunch of Barbies.
I got a cool skillet for Cinnamon Bond, like brownie that I haven't used yet.
Probably tonight maybe, I don't know.
Comic books, I got a beanie.
And then that one girl, well I guess she told us her name.
Kara, if you listen to the episode, she stopped by, gave me a fake number.
But her, the gift she gave me is very cool.
It's Melophosaurus fossils and a beanie.
And then this, like a coyote.
It's a coyote.
A coyote made of, it's gotta be glass right?
Or clay.
I don't know.
I think it's clay.
Well whatever it is, it's very cool.
Well clay and glass are kind of the same thing.
I don't think clay and glass are anything alike.
And I'm willing to extend this episode another 30 fucking minutes to talk about the differences
between clay and glass.
I'll get down to the scientific fucking measurements.
That they're both sand?
No.
Wait, okay, no.
Just because they come off the same.
The elements are the same?
No, clay is not sand.
I'm sorry.
Clay is not sand.
Clay, just because you found clay, you found glass.
Clay, just because you find clay in the same general area that you find sand, does not
make them the two same things.
If you melt clay, it becomes glass.
If you do not, no.
If you melt clay, it does not become glass.
We're finding that out.
China powder is absolutely considered glass.
If you melt clay.
If you melt, okay.
Why does clay harden when heated instead of melting?
No, that just makes it like the, we're just talking about it hardens clay up.
Just talking about it's China clay glass.
Wait, no, what is China clay?
It's just a kind of clay.
I'm looking at it.
It's clay, it's white clay.
Okay, well what about it?
Is it glass?
No, is clay sand?
That's what I'm going to put.
Is clay sand?
You're letting him get to you Andy.
You won the SNL argument and now he's fucking with you on clay.
Salt, silt and clay.
Three distinct separate things.
You have sand, silt and clay.
Are they really?
Yeah, I'm looking right here at the difference.
You want to know what the difference is?
Here's the three differences.
We have particle sizes.
If you're going to get into sand.
Let's talk about the molecules.
It's 0.05 millimeters to 2 millimeters, but then you get into fucking silt.
Right.
And silt is 0.002 millimeters to 0.05.
And if I buy Crusher Run.
If you get to fucking clay though, bro, it's 1000X.
Oh no, that's the amount of their zooming in.
It's under 0.02 millimeters.
So Crusher Rock Run is not rock.
Look at the fucking picture, sand, silt.
I know the difference.
Clay, loam.
There's a fourth one.
It's loam.
How far does the rabbit hole go of dirt?
And when I toss a pot.
But here's the thing.
Yeah, it could be.
Not once are they mentioning glass.
That's what I'm saying.
It doesn't go sand, silt.
No, you felt sand in my glass.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
You used to gring with me in a roundabout way.
Why did I put his clay sand?
Aren't we trying to find his clay glass?
What was the argument?
What did we start this on?
Anyway, well, Steel just started.
I don't want to miss any of this.
We're 12 minutes in.
I need to know the fucking complex.
Pack it up.
Hold on.
That was the LGBTQ one.
That wasn't even the fact one.
It gets so many suggestions for movies like that.
The algorithms got you now.
Riff tracks.
It's a Wonderful Life.
I might want to watch that actually.
Just because we were talking about Christmas movies.
All right.
Well, let's get out of here.
This sounds good.
All right, everybody.
You know what?
I had a more chill one earlier.
That's the kind of vibe that I was feeling.
Here we go.
Nope.
I wanted it.
This is the best part of the whole podcast.
There you go.
Is this pretty?
All right.
Yeah.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what was different about this week.
Maybe a little more chill than usual, but I think we had a good time.
With me as always is Michael.
I mean, just the odds you'd think I'd have better luck.
Something would take him out by now.
Luck would be alive, Larson.
Have a good week, everybody.
With us as always is I wish I never really wanted this before so badly, but I wish I
had a little teleporter pad that just connected Austin and I's house so that he didn't have
to travel so far to be here.
He could just pop in and we could work on the podcast together and all sorts of fun
things.
It's awesome.
Peace out.
And I'm your host, Andy Rice.
This has been a Fried Rice podcast.
We've been fried and we've been respectful.
Thanks so much.
And have a good night.
And of course, we would never forget to do the question of the week.
So this week's question is, is Saturday Night Live airing live?
Everywhere.
Everywhere?
Can you watch it where you live when it airs live?
Or is Mike somehow fucking right in the fact that it only airs live in New York and not
at the same time everywhere else in the world?
So for our listener from Trafalgar Park, please let them know it's not showing their live.
Oh wow, way to really.
Trafalgar Park in Nelson, New Zealand.
Yeah, we know you.
You're running around the track.
You're listening to our fucking podcast.
It's just weird that the little pin shows that he listened to it and it says it's in
the river.
He listened to it.
Next to the park.
He listened to it and then threw his phone in the river.
If you're that guy in New Zealand that listens to the, please call our number and let us
know that you're okay.
Or you like our podcast.
It's not your car in the river.
It's just your phone.
Also it's S&O Live.
Yeah, and also it's S&O Live.
And let us know why you threw your phone in the river.
All right, that's the question.
Call us.
The number is located, oh jeez, I should have looked this up.
On the website.
No, yeah.
It's on our website, friedricepodcast.com, which it says is not secure.
Oh fuck, anyway, just go to our website.
There's a number.
Bye.