1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,000
I like my music two notes at a time.

2
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:39,000
And welcome to motherfucking Fried Rice Podcast in front of a live studio audience.

3
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:52,000
I'm your host Andy Rice. Everybody say with me, Let's Get Fried!

4
00:00:52,000 --> 00:01:10,000
Without further ado, I'm going to bring out our guests. They're with us here every week. First and foremost, he's our most rare, our most rare guy.

5
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:22,000
He's like a big foot sighted. He comes onto whatever he sees. He only comes to the live one, I've noticed. The one that has the most exposure, I guess.

6
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:34,000
If you're a Star Trek fan, you'll like this next bit. It's Ryan Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn!

7
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:50,000
I'm so happy to be here! Up next, we have, he's a, I can't hear you. Up next, it's Michael. Now listen, here's the thing.

8
00:01:50,000 --> 00:02:04,000
I've tried to kill this guy with so many different and creative ways. I've shot him out of an airlock recently. We were space trucking.

9
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:12,000
I've shot him in the stomach. I've stabbed him in the throat. I've done everything. His mom is sitting right there and I don't even care.

10
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:22,000
I've done all these things openly. This has nothing to do with anything, but I did get him a nice piece of cake for him.

11
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:31,000
Just for him. It's Michael. He's really lucky to be alive. Larson.

12
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:42,000
It's your birthday! It's for you, buddy. It's your birthday. It's yours. Just take a bite.

13
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:53,000
Oh, God. You should slow down just right there to say goodbye to murderers. Just take a bite.

14
00:02:53,000 --> 00:03:01,000
This isn't real. Wait, wait. Just one bite.

15
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:11,000
No, it's not a trick. What are you doing? Where are you going? You killed me.

16
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:19,000
You fucking threw it away? You can't kill me! Why is he looking? I was... You cannot kill me!

17
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:25,000
I was kidding. It wasn't pleasure. You couldn't have enjoyed a slice of cake, you bitch.

18
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:31,000
You fucking hippie little bitch. All right, wait a minute. It's Michael Larson. Hey, everybody.

19
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:41,000
What this is always is the producer of the show initially. And now he just kind of pops in whenever the fuck he decides to work.

20
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:53,000
Cowboy Mac Publick. It's Zachary. Let's all give him a big amen. Amen, brother!

21
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:58,000
With me as always is Brendan.

22
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:11,000
Simply Out The Busters!

23
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:15,000
Fuck, dude. You got the most hype intro of any.

24
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:21,000
And then the music. That's everybody. Oh, no. No, shit. I'm so sorry.

25
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:28,000
And the most important person here tonight.

26
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:34,000
This guy's going to be my floating host. Whatever that means. He's going to be our man of the spot.

27
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:40,000
He's going to take you to the undisclosed location for the bell ringing challenge. He's our guy. He's my right hand man.

28
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:45,000
I couldn't be here without him. It's homeless head Siri. No one's gonna. No one's gonna. Just used that joke earlier.

29
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:51,000
It's Austin. He drove three and a half hours to be here today.

30
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,000
Feral!

31
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:58,000
Yo, check me out on MapQuest.

32
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,000
And then that's the music.

33
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,000
You want to cut it?

34
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:08,000
Sorry. That was. You are so demanding. I am.

35
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:16,000
Welcome to my podcast. I have a stage now. I had people build me a stage.

36
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:21,000
This is pretty great. You know, are you? Oh, fuck.

37
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:28,000
Music intro! Oh, shit. Oh, my God.

38
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:33,000
Yeah, just restart it so you can get your shit intro.

39
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:42,000
You forgot him. You fucking forgot him. We couldn't be here without the most important person on the podcast.

40
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:49,000
It's Jesse Lee. I don't want to hear it.

41
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,000
Do your fucking show.

42
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:59,000
Lee Hart. So give it up for Jesse. He's our sound guy.

43
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,000
There's a lot of people I should be thanking. Let's just give it up real quick.

44
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:10,000
This is their spot. This is just real quick. They had made a home for Mojave Comedy.

45
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,000
Are you cutting me off? Okay.

46
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,000
They made a home for not only Mojave Comedy, now, the Pride Rides podcast.

47
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:21,000
We're doing our first real big boy in person live event.

48
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,000
You know, not in a comic con. No shade to that one. That was fun.

49
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:30,000
But this is like, you know, we get the fucking smoke.

50
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,000
That's three!

51
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:38,000
Yeah! Awesome.

52
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,000
And then also, just I'm giving it up to you guys for actually coming up.

53
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:49,000
My family over here, my mom, my sister came out, my best friends from childhood came out.

54
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:56,000
They drove all the way from California to be here. Boo! California!

55
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,000
So anyway, I hope we have a fun show tonight.

56
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,000
Fuck it. This is... We'll see what happens.

57
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,000
I have prizes. All of you are going to walk away with at least something.

58
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:09,000
I got fucking stickers, pins. I got all sorts of fun shit.

59
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000
We got some really cool shit.

60
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:15,000
And then we also have, if you like our beans, let's just put this up front.

61
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,000
These are fucking awesome. Yeah, please do.

62
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:23,000
My mom handmade these beanies for the Friday's party.

63
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:28,000
And what do you call them?

64
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000
These are emotional support nuts.

65
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:35,000
Yeah!

66
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:41,000
I have two nuts left. Somebody bought them.

67
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:45,000
So that's five dollars. The two nuts. Those are fifteen dollars each.

68
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:49,000
All the proceeds go to help children get to travel.

69
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,000
Travel expenses for children to get to hospitals.

70
00:07:52,000 --> 00:08:00,000
So buy those. The beanies, those go to give my mom more yarn to make more fucking beanies.

71
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:07,000
I also have a beer token to whoever hands me my beer that is under this table right now.

72
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,000
Yes! Thank you.

73
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:16,000
What's your name?

74
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,000
True. You're a true angel.

75
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,000
Oh, that's so sweet.

76
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:27,000
Let's give it up one more time for Austin's mom. She is fucking awesome.

77
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,000
She's been doing all sorts of shit for us for this party.

78
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,000
Fun fact, Austin is single.

79
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:39,000
So you can go over there and watch him stare at his mom as she puts these things together.

80
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,000
That's where I was going.

81
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000
Something just splashed me. Explain yourselves.

82
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,000
That was my piss.

83
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:52,000
Oh, god damn. I was like, my face is wet now. What the fuck happened?

84
00:08:52,000 --> 00:09:02,000
Okay. Oh wait, we have a schedule. Thank fucking god. Mike decided. Mike over here is like, oh yeah, where is our sponsor?

85
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,000
Hold on, dude.

86
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,000
Where the fuck?

87
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,000
He went off into the night.

88
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,000
If you're not familiar with bell ringers, let's get into it.

89
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:15,000
Bell ringers!

90
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:28,000
Bell ringers is an attachment for your hookah or bomb that takes a standard bomb and turns it into three pieces that you can put a bunch of shit into.

91
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:36,000
I saw him earlier put a blunt, a joint, and a fucking dab rig into one and they just did all three.

92
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000
And now we can't find him.

93
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:45,000
He wandered off into the dark.

94
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,000
He fucking bounce bounced?

95
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,000
Maybe he gave somebody a ride.

96
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:52,000
He left 30 grams in a fucking bell ringer channeling challenge.

97
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:56,000
Okay, so we're going to get into this. I'll introduce you later. It's on our schedule.

98
00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:01,000
It's actually just great. Do you think he's outside of Circle K asking for a cigarette?

99
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,000
I think his mission is to find chocolate.

100
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:07,000
I'm so high. I could not do it.

101
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,000
And I don't have any regrets about that.

102
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:18,000
You know, one thing, inside joke, this guy is like if you took Lucky Burelli and put his brain into Vin Diesel's body.

103
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:24,000
For those of you not familiar, Lucky Burelli's a dumpster fire of a person.

104
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
He's got bamboo hair.

105
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:33,000
He's the only person I know that's been banned from performing here.

106
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:37,000
The place we're currently having a smoke session at in the back yard.

107
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:43,000
But of course, this is an undisclosed location because no one knows where we're at.

108
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:47,000
And I would never ever say the address or where we're at because that could get them in a lot of trouble.

109
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:52,000
So this is actually Andy's house. It's surprising how I fit all of you in here.

110
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,000
How many people did you have to pay to come?

111
00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:01,000
Over the years? Over the years? Six or seven?

112
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,000
What did you say?

113
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,000
How many tickets did you buy? I was guessing you paid for them.

114
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
Who'd you fucking bribe, motherfucker?

115
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000
I haven't seen any of these people and I've known you for five years.

116
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Well, some of them are my family and friends.

117
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,000
Everyone's my friend. Actually, I didn't buy them.

118
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,000
You know, so it's funny.

119
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:28,000
Hey, Suzy, Suzy, Suzy, Suzy, Suzy.

120
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:32,000
The guy that runs the place is where on the fucking camera I do so.

121
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:36,000
Hey, easy with the sauce.

122
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:40,000
But it's not jokes, people.

123
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:45,000
For the casual observer, which is all of you, this is real fun, entertaining shit.

124
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:51,000
Let's get into this. The what are we smoking? This is what we're famous for.

125
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,000
I'm deciding.

126
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Oh shit, oh shit, thank you.

127
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,000
We're not done yet, people.

128
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000
How much of this are you going to shit the bed on?

129
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,000
It's written right there.

130
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
Probably the most important person on our podcast.

131
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Could it be here without him?

132
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:14,000
I said there was going to be special guests. I wasn't lying.

133
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:20,000
If you are a fan of the podcast and you've been here from the very beginning,

134
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,000
there's a special person that's been missing for quite some time.

135
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:28,000
We left on pretty negative terms, I would say.

136
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,000
People thought maybe this man would never come back.

137
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Why? Probably because he was going to fucking die of old-ass age.

138
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:43,000
You're going to see this guy, like, dirt cold and it said it was nice learning from you.

139
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:47,000
Because you're way older than him.

140
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,000
I've had to pay for this.

141
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,000
Yeah, thank you.

142
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:55,000
This motherfucker was here from the beginning.

143
00:12:55,000 --> 00:13:00,000
He might not make it through the podcast because he's old as fucking shit.

144
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:08,000
It's Robert Bobby Polarski.

145
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:16,000
You thought you'd never see him again.

146
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:21,000
You hoped you'd never see him again.

147
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000
You might not.

148
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
I've got a question for Bob.

149
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
I'm back, baby.

150
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,000
You guys have to share mics.

151
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,000
I just keep getting hit in the head.

152
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
I've got a question for Bob.

153
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
Ask your question for Bob.

154
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,000
Bob, you moved here in the Philly World Series.

155
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:44,000
How does it feel to give them bad luck?

156
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Baby said, is this mic working?

157
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000
I think so. Is it working?

158
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000
Yes.

159
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000
I have to speak loudly into the mic.

160
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,000
You've got to speak loudly.

161
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000
I've got to speak loudly into the mic.

162
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
Speak into the mic.

163
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
I did not leave on negative terms.

164
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
You did not leave on negative terms.

165
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,000
You disappeared in the middle of the night.

166
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,000
You left a note underneath my fucking door.

167
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:11,000
Because the Phillies lost, the Phillies lost, and then the Eagles lost.

168
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,000
So I didn't want to see shit of anybody.

169
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,000
But now I am back and I don't give a shit.

170
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:23,000
You think me, Andy Rice, noted sports fan, was going to fucking give you shit

171
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:27,000
over whatever the fuck teams you just named in whatever sport we're talking about?

172
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000
No, I don't give a fuck, Bob.

173
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,000
I would have let you live your old ass life collecting dust and whatever it is you do over there.

174
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,000
You would never let me live my own life.

175
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
You look like you have hollow bones, motherfucker.

176
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000
And I don't know what the fuck you use.

177
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
You really put on some weight.

178
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
Yeah, I did.

179
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
But I did put on some weight.

180
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:50,000
It was due to depression from you leaving, you old sack of shit.

181
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Hey, what sports were those, Andy?

182
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
I don't know.

183
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,000
Take two guesses. You've got like five.

184
00:14:56,000 --> 00:15:00,000
Look, Eagles, it sounds like you've got to be able to fly.

185
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
So you're thinking MLS.

186
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
I'm thinking MLS.

187
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,000
Look, we're not doing this.

188
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,000
No one signed up for sports trivia.

189
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Since you fucked up the intro so bad, I can no longer tell our round.

190
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,000
We're right here. We're in the what are we smoking?

191
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000
Remember I said that 10 minutes ago and did nothing with it?

192
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000
Yeah, then you introduced Bob.

193
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000
That should have been number one.

194
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
It was up here. Yeah, I fucked everything up.

195
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,000
What are we smoking?

196
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000
What are we smoking?

197
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000
What are we smoking?

198
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000
What are we smoking?

199
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000
We're smoking a bunch of shit here.

200
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,000
I have a baby cheater that I'm going to light right now.

201
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:41,000
I think we're at the wrong caveman.

202
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000
I don't know what they're smoking.

203
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000
But I did.

204
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000
So what is that called over here?

205
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,000
Ask the giggling lady what that spinning contraption's called.

206
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:55,000
No, we were talking about these are VFDC.

207
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,000
Well, hey, hey, wait real quick.

208
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,000
Let's just back up.

209
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:04,000
I need one clear answer, not a drunken garbled mess of whatever happened.

210
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000
It's called dedicated.

211
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:12,000
No, I'm asking about that fucking bong thing that I did.

212
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
You got me.

213
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,000
It's a stun gun.

214
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000
Thank you. It was great.

215
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000
You're welcome.

216
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,000
I felt like I was getting angsty.

217
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000
I turned the vibe real quick.

218
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000
I don't want to do that.

219
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000
Because you brought me presents.

220
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,000
So, okay, don't worry about it.

221
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Are you ready?

222
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000
Yeah, okay, yeah.

223
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000
So what are we smoking?

224
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000
We're going to smoke a bunch of shit.

225
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000
So let's just, there we go.

226
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,000
You want to take your present.

227
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Number four.

228
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000
That's two, three.

229
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000
He's got to open a present.

230
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
Oh, Jesus Christ.

231
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
He's got to open a present.

232
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000
Andy opens some presents and discusses them.

233
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
We had to spit it into time.

234
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,000
This is the kitty table.

235
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:00,000
There's so many more presents than even in my life.

236
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Look how excited everyone fucking looks.

237
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I'm just jittery.

238
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
No, some people are excited.

239
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
Some people say, oh, I hope you enjoy your present.

240
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,000
I think there's some people that genuinely went out of their way to give us something good.

241
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,000
And I think there's three dildos.

242
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,000
I'm a liar motherfucker.

243
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,000
I feel like I'm a prisoner of Pee-wee's Playhouse.

244
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:24,000
And Pee-wee's going to fucking watch him open all these fucking presents.

245
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,000
I don't even like doing this for my kid at Christmas.

246
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
And you're asking me to do it for you?

247
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:36,000
Your own family looks sad about having to watch you open presents.

248
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Do I have to sing the open a present song?

249
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000
God, I hope not.

250
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000
I don't know.

251
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,000
It sounds like you would probably have one growing up.

252
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,000
You're exactly on time.

253
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,000
This is the perfect time to get in for whatever it's called.

254
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000
That's where you hang out with them and that.

255
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000
Right?

256
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,000
Andy, if it stays this loud, the cops are going to shut it down.

257
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,000
What do you mean, we have to?

258
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000
We have a noise ordinance after 11.

259
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
It's past 11.

260
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
It's past 11, man.

261
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
It's just now 11 o'clock in the dot, Ruby.

262
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:14,000
You made the perfect note for my mom to get out of here.

263
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000
Hell, man.

264
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000
You can get the cops.

265
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
The cops are going to show up.

266
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Baby's mom's got a little pee.

267
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
You should get her a cop.

268
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000
You're like, no.

269
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000
Good night, mom.

270
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000
Good night.

271
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Drive safe.

272
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Text me when you get to the hotel.

273
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000
I got wars.

274
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000
I got to go.

275
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
Michael, Amanda, I love you guys.

276
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,000
Sorry, Andy.

277
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000
You got to go.

278
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,000
I have two sisters in my favorite.

279
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:38,000
It's a real shame to miss all this great content.

280
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Is this not recorded?

281
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000
It's not recorded.

282
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000
They're getting it.

283
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
They're missing it.

284
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000
They're not coming out of here anymore?

285
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000
You are.

286
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000
We have to bring it down a little bit.

287
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000
You're fine.

288
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Can you guys hear me?

289
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Yes.

290
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000
Absolutely.

291
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Is this better?

292
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000
Yes.

293
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
I'm so sorry, John.

294
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000
It's OK.

295
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
You're a national treasure.

296
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000
You're a humanitarian leader.

297
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000
I don't want to be your dirty.

298
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000
It's a good thing you're not hitting him exactly at this location.

299
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,000
You want to go?

300
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Yes.

301
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,000
It's smart.

302
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,000
I'm going to use your presence because I think I fucked that up.

303
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000
I'm going to use your presence because I think I fucked that up.

304
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,000
I'm going to use your presence because I think I fucked that up.

305
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:11,000
I'm going to use your presence because I think I fucked that up.

306
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000
Happy birthday.

307
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Thank you.

308
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
So this is where you guys get to talk.

309
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000
Oh, goody.

310
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Oh, my god.

311
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000
I can't wait for this.

312
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Oh, he's going to do the bindings at the top.

313
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Oh, he's doing the bindings at the top.

314
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,000
He's having a hard time.

315
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000
He's having a hard time.

316
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000
This one's really hard.

317
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000
You want to do this one?

318
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:34,000
Just fucking rip it.

319
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Just bite it.

320
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:54,000
I'm so sorry.

321
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:59,000
So guys, this is funny that this is the very first present, but a few weeks ago, an episode

322
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000
dropped where we were talking about, and I put a note saying I need to edit this out

323
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000
so that this doesn't happen.

324
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,000
But I put that because we had some stupid thing about Barbies, and I was like, oh, and of

325
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:10,000
course I plugged the show right after talking about Barbies, so motherfuckers are going to

326
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:17,000
be Barbies, and I was like, I'm going to edit that shit out, and I didn't because I'm lazy.

327
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:25,000
So first present is Barbie in a little black dress, so let's see if she makes any friends

328
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
tonight.

329
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000
Next present.

330
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000
I don't need an upskirt.

331
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,000
You guys can get an upskirt.

332
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000
Oh, jeez.

333
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000
That'll go this way.

334
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Oh, they're not west of here.

335
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000
Hey, what's her name?

336
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000
Oh, does she have a name?

337
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000
I don't know.

338
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000
She might.

339
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,000
That's what you decided.

340
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,880
I don't like it when we have names.

341
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,900
I get too attached.

342
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,780
You just dehumanize it, Barbie.

343
00:20:46,780 --> 00:20:54,180
That's going to go towards the other Barbies you already own.

344
00:20:54,180 --> 00:21:05,860
Whoever did that, I bet you're very handsome.

345
00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:10,860
I swear to God!

346
00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:12,860
I thought it should have fucking ended there.

347
00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:15,860
We've never met, but I thought it would be like...

348
00:21:15,860 --> 00:21:16,860
Is this from you?

349
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:17,860
You're welcome.

350
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:18,860
Oh, God.

351
00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:19,860
Hey, Andy, it's another Barbie.

352
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:20,860
I don't think it's a Ken either.

353
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:21,860
I think is this...

354
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:22,860
That's a Ken.

355
00:21:22,860 --> 00:21:23,860
Is that a Ken?

356
00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:24,860
That's a Ken.

357
00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:26,860
You need a matching set of fucking Samoyeds.

358
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:28,860
He wants the Ken down to keep it.

359
00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:29,860
You can read it out.

360
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:32,860
Hey, you can read it out how like, learning hurts.

361
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:35,860
You're gonna need a one-new show.

362
00:21:37,860 --> 00:21:39,860
Hey, look, it's another Barbie.

363
00:21:39,860 --> 00:21:41,860
I can learn how to flirt.

364
00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:43,860
With Mermaid Barbie.

365
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:45,860
Hey, maybe you'll realize that they're fucking with you.

366
00:21:45,860 --> 00:21:46,860
Barbie Dreamtopia.

367
00:21:46,860 --> 00:21:50,860
Hey, Andy, you know these are all gifts, so you can't throw them away.

368
00:21:50,860 --> 00:21:51,860
No, I can't.

369
00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,860
I wasn't in on the joke.

370
00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:54,860
No.

371
00:21:54,860 --> 00:21:56,860
I legitimately got you cookies.

372
00:21:56,860 --> 00:21:58,860
Oh, no.

373
00:21:58,860 --> 00:21:59,860
My cheese.

374
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:00,860
You know what I mean?

375
00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:01,860
My cheese?

376
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:02,860
Did you really?

377
00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:03,860
Yeah, I did.

378
00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:04,860
There is a seal.

379
00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:05,860
There is?

380
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:06,860
I'm so surprised.

381
00:22:06,860 --> 00:22:09,860
Because we thought it was just a rewrap with a box.

382
00:22:09,860 --> 00:22:10,860
No, I'm...

383
00:22:10,860 --> 00:22:11,860
Yeah.

384
00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:12,860
Are these real Trouble cookies?

385
00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:13,860
Yes.

386
00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:14,860
Oh, fuck.

387
00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:15,860
Fucking right.

388
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:16,860
What a guy.

389
00:22:16,860 --> 00:22:18,860
Barbie's gonna have chocolate all over her mouth.

390
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:23,860
What's in there, Andy?

391
00:22:23,860 --> 00:22:26,860
Is that cookies or was I... or were you right?

392
00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:28,860
It's definitely not cookies.

393
00:22:28,860 --> 00:22:29,860
I don't want to.

394
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:31,860
I don't want to put this up in the truck.

395
00:22:31,860 --> 00:22:32,860
I got it.

396
00:22:32,860 --> 00:22:33,860
Let's see it, buddy.

397
00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:39,860
No chocolate on her mouth?

398
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:45,860
It was a rewrap.

399
00:22:45,860 --> 00:22:46,860
Are you all right?

400
00:22:48,860 --> 00:22:50,860
This is the worst thing I've ever seen.

401
00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:52,860
This one's really a rewrap, Andy.

402
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,860
That's all it does, but it is.

403
00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:55,860
You know what?

404
00:22:55,860 --> 00:22:56,860
I guarantee this one doesn't have a Barbie.

405
00:22:56,860 --> 00:22:57,860
It don't.

406
00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:58,860
It don't.

407
00:22:58,860 --> 00:22:59,860
So, my bad.

408
00:22:59,860 --> 00:23:00,860
That's genuine.

409
00:23:04,860 --> 00:23:05,860
Let's see, he's opening up a box.

410
00:23:05,860 --> 00:23:06,860
Be careful.

411
00:23:06,860 --> 00:23:07,860
Ooh.

412
00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:08,860
That's awesome.

413
00:23:08,860 --> 00:23:09,860
Wow, a real gift.

414
00:23:09,860 --> 00:23:10,860
I can't see.

415
00:23:10,860 --> 00:23:11,860
My bad.

416
00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:13,860
I wasn't in on the joke, bro.

417
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,860
You're a fucking asshole for not getting the box.

418
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:16,860
No, and there's more.

419
00:23:16,860 --> 00:23:17,860
Hey, there's more.

420
00:23:17,860 --> 00:23:18,860
Don't throw it.

421
00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:19,860
No, no, no, but just...

422
00:23:19,860 --> 00:23:20,860
Keep throwing.

423
00:23:20,860 --> 00:23:21,860
Can someone... okay.

424
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,860
Can someone please describe this fucking beautiful...

425
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:25,860
You motherfucker don't even know.

426
00:23:25,860 --> 00:23:26,860
No, no, I'm saying...

427
00:23:26,860 --> 00:23:27,860
I'm my bad.

428
00:23:27,860 --> 00:23:28,860
I'm going back in the bed.

429
00:23:28,860 --> 00:23:29,860
I'm having so much fun.

430
00:23:29,860 --> 00:23:30,860
I'm going to do it.

431
00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:33,860
If you're into anime, this is driving ball seats.

432
00:23:33,860 --> 00:23:35,860
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

433
00:23:35,860 --> 00:23:37,860
It's Vegeta, I believe...

434
00:23:37,860 --> 00:23:38,860
I don't know.

435
00:23:38,860 --> 00:23:39,860
That's a dirty word.

436
00:23:39,860 --> 00:23:40,860
Actually, I believe that's the same thing.

437
00:23:40,860 --> 00:23:41,860
It's Bajin Vegeta.

438
00:23:41,860 --> 00:23:44,860
Bajin Vegeta and Silver Hair Gouken.

439
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:45,860
It's a bomb.

440
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:46,860
But there's a bunch of mushrooms on it.

441
00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:47,860
It's a fucking bomb.

442
00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:48,860
There's a bunch of mushrooms on there.

443
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:49,860
Dude, that's beautiful.

444
00:23:49,860 --> 00:23:50,860
That is beautiful.

445
00:23:50,860 --> 00:23:51,860
It almost makes me...

446
00:23:51,860 --> 00:23:52,860
Hey, there's more.

447
00:23:52,860 --> 00:23:53,860
There's more.

448
00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:54,860
He's going.

449
00:23:54,860 --> 00:23:55,860
Kame Kame, hi.

450
00:23:55,860 --> 00:23:57,860
And then we go to some...

451
00:23:57,860 --> 00:23:58,860
There's some carbs.

452
00:23:58,860 --> 00:23:59,860
Fuck yeah.

453
00:23:59,860 --> 00:24:00,860
That's my...

454
00:24:00,860 --> 00:24:01,860
Keep going.

455
00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:02,860
Careful, there's a big manger in there too.

456
00:24:02,860 --> 00:24:03,860
Be careful of this other shit too.

457
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:04,860
Oh my God.

458
00:24:04,860 --> 00:24:05,860
Keep going.

459
00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:06,860
There's other shit.

460
00:24:06,860 --> 00:24:07,860
It's in the bottom in there.

461
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:08,860
Holy shit.

462
00:24:08,860 --> 00:24:09,860
Kame Kame.

463
00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:10,860
You know how I met this guy?

464
00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:11,860
I delivered pizza to him and he gave me weed as a tip.

465
00:24:11,860 --> 00:24:12,860
And it struck such a quiver in me that...

466
00:24:12,860 --> 00:24:27,860
Adra is famous for life.

467
00:24:27,860 --> 00:24:28,860
When I went to...

468
00:24:28,860 --> 00:24:33,860
When I did a stand up show and I was like, someone fucking tipped me in weed.

469
00:24:33,860 --> 00:24:36,860
This guy's like, that was me.

470
00:24:36,860 --> 00:24:37,860
We've been friends ever since.

471
00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:38,860
And I love this guy.

472
00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:39,860
It's Papa Mike.

473
00:24:39,860 --> 00:24:40,860
He's been on the show.

474
00:24:40,860 --> 00:24:45,860
And you justGülme bowman and my wife and I put together really big 같이 messi mens.

475
00:24:45,860 --> 00:24:46,860
Andh.

476
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:47,860
And we...

477
00:24:47,860 --> 00:24:48,860
God.

478
00:24:48,860 --> 00:24:53,860
You just exited my family.

479
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,860
euros

480
00:24:55,860 --> 00:24:58,860
It feels like you've seen the TV show.

481
00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:02,860
Is this gonna be good?

482
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:04,080
You remember our friend from the

483
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,080
Middle's World, I think.

484
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,080
Right?

485
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,080
And our...

486
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:08,080
I think New performo.

487
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,080
That's watercolor.

488
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,080
There's a color for watercolor.

489
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,080
You just set your own birthday party up.

490
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,080
I was actually thinking about this.

491
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,080
Hold on man.

492
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,080
Biggest scam of all time.

493
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:25,080
I guess this whole time I've just been calling the suicide hotline for my attention.

494
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,080
I guess I'll start throwing a birthday party for myself.

495
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,080
So here's the thing.

496
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,080
We all live in a fucking simulation.

497
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,080
You know, God's not real. Your religion sucks. Doesn't matter.

498
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,080
But here's the thing.

499
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:42,080
In simulation, all you have to do is learn how to fucking write the code.

500
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,080
And this is how you do it. You make a Facebook event page.

501
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:47,080
And you tell everybody it's your birthday.

502
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,080
Which it is.

503
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,080
And then you tell them it's one wrapped gift per...

504
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,080
And then you should edit out the Barbie shit.

505
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,080
And then you'll have a birthday party.

506
00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:01,080
And then just, you know, sit here and be the birthday guy.

507
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,080
So I think that this is wonderful.

508
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,080
Another gift please. One more.

509
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,080
Oh, the rest are bad.

510
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,080
Oh God.

511
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,080
I can't trust this bag.

512
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,080
Open it up. Open it right now.

513
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,080
So you never said you want...I like Barbies.

514
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,080
Oh, it's a Barbie.

515
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,080
This is a fucking Barbie knockoff.

516
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,080
Everybody knows it.

517
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,080
It's a Barbie box.

518
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,080
Is that the real Barbie up there?

519
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,080
In the box, I could put them on display.

520
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,080
I put this on display, I'm on a list.

521
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,080
I put this on display, I'm a weird daughter.

522
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,080
I think you're still on a list if you're not in the box or not.

523
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,080
I'm so sorry. He's being very ungrateful right now.

524
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,080
But being in the box is worse.

525
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,080
Holy shit.

526
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,080
Nerdy.

527
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:57,080
Oh, what's funny is...

528
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,080
A male Barbie.

529
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,080
I didn't realize there was a Barbie.

530
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,080
So from my perspective, I'm like, oh look, it's Darth Vader.

531
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,080
Did you get that, Ryan?

532
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:10,080
It's a...does it talk? You have to touch it.

533
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,080
You have to touch him where?

534
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,080
Please describe where you're touching the...

535
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,080
Yeah, it's fucking anywhere.

536
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:19,080
No word.

537
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,080
Welcome to Andy Doesn't Understand Micropods and I Can't Pick Up That Rage.

538
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,080
We're all real quiet.

539
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:28,080
Go ahead, do it again.

540
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,080
Stop that.

541
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,080
He's still touching it.

542
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,080
He's getting it all right.

543
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,080
Okay, you lost it.

544
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:45,080
Whoever got me this, if you've ever been inside my room, it feels like you have.

545
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:49,080
There's a lot of fucking nerdy Star Wars shit on my wall.

546
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,080
Okay, shut up Darth Vader.

547
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,080
We're having a little thank you.

548
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,080
I'm sorry.

549
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,080
So we have to watch you open all 30 tickets.

550
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,080
Yeah, all of them.

551
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,080
But we'll move on to another section.

552
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,080
Theresa, you might...

553
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,080
Jesus Christ, the bell ringer behind that is nice.

554
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,080
Good call, good call, guys.

555
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,080
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we're going to be doing...

556
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,080
You did it already.

557
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,080
Okay, shut the fuck up.

558
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,080
Hold on, dude.

559
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,080
Not you, I'm talking to Austin.

560
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,080
Somebody just stuck their finger up my ass.

561
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,080
What are you talking about?

562
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,080
Don't tell me to shut up.

563
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,080
What bathroom is that?

564
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,080
I'm going to put it on one.

565
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:33,080
Just, I guess, walk as sideways as you can.

566
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,080
Put your fingers inside your butt.

567
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:39,080
Credit card.

568
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,080
She calls it a credit card.

569
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,080
She thinks it's a cute way to sexually assault people.

570
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,080
Bell ringer.

571
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:48,080
I guess now you do insert a credit card, so it works.

572
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:49,080
It is.

573
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,080
Well, yeah, now it's inserting.

574
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,080
You're doing sliding.

575
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,080
You should just shove your fingers in.

576
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,080
That's not too broke.

577
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,080
That's right.

578
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,080
No, fucking no more roomy presents.

579
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,080
You need to talk about bell ringers.

580
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,080
So we're doing...

581
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,080
First off, by the way, we're always high, so sometimes it doesn't go smooth.

582
00:29:10,080 --> 00:29:14,080
Oh, they can't tell, Mike.

583
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,080
This is all right, we're off the fucking rails.

584
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,080
I'm so sorry.

585
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,080
So we are going to have a bell ringer contest.

586
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:29,080
And the challenge is really for some motherfuckers who think that they can smoke some motherfucking weed.

587
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:36,080
So is there anybody in the house tonight that thinks that they can take on...

588
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:40,080
I mean, it's 30 grams of weed.

589
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,080
Teresa?

590
00:29:42,080 --> 00:29:44,080
So that's it.

591
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,080
It's three?

592
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,080
Oh, there's two.

593
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,080
There's two.

594
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,080
Teresa's definitely in the room.

595
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,080
We got one.

596
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:58,080
We talked to Teresa, we talked to her.

597
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,080
We got two.

598
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,080
We got two?

599
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,080
Are you for real?

600
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,080
Yeah.

601
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,080
You gotta be in there.

602
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,080
No, no, I'm not.

603
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,080
I guess I could wait.

604
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,080
Hold every hand signal I'm giving off.

605
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,080
I'm not down.

606
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,080
I have to be up here.

607
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,080
I'll take the mic.

608
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,080
You guys are sitting in the microphone.

609
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,080
It doesn't go that far.

610
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:26,080
But we're going to zoom it.

611
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:30,080
So this is Austin's going to take three people out there.

612
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,080
And you guys are going to smoke.

613
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,080
If there's three people, ball's in.

614
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,080
We got two.

615
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:40,080
And we're going to zoom call it for the audio and everything.

616
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,080
How long did the last one take?

617
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,080
I heard an hour and 12 minutes.

618
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,080
That's what he said.

619
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,080
The practice goes until you tap out.

620
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,080
If you tap out, you tap out.

621
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,080
You said it took them an hour and 12 minutes.

622
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,080
Bullshit.

623
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,080
You guys can achieve that in about 10 minutes.

624
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,080
Right.

625
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,080
Hold on.

626
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,080
That southern broad over there can do this by herself.

627
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,080
I know that for a fact.

628
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,080
She has a problem.

629
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,080
Yeah, let's get you two involved.

630
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,080
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

631
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,080
Okay.

632
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,080
We need four.

633
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,080
Only four people can fit in our undisclosed location.

634
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,080
It's behind closed doors?

635
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,080
It's behind four closed doors.

636
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,080
It's nice, man.

637
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,080
It's in his weird room.

638
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,080
Yeah, because we're in my room.

639
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,080
This room is General Heels.

640
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,080
It's bad.

641
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,080
Can it move?

642
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,080
We got you two and we got Bobby.

643
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,080
So let's get your names.

644
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,080
Kentucky?

645
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,080
Yes.

646
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,080
Eric?

647
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,080
Why are you giving out names, bro?

648
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,080
Okay, fine.

649
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:50,080
Kentucky, Pennsylvania, and Oakland.

650
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,080
Yes.

651
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,080
Oakland.

652
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:58,080
Call me that 13 or 14 more times, I'm out of here.

653
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:00,080
Because he's really old, man.

654
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,080
Be careful.

655
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,080
That's 12, Mike. Stop fucking it up for the rest of us.

656
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,080
All right, so, uh,

657
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,080
Brian, you ready?

658
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,080
Are you guys testing?

659
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:12,080
I'm testing the sound.

660
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,080
Okay.

661
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,080
Do you want the fucking weed?

662
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,080
And then while they're

663
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:20,080
while they're heading out there.

664
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,080
Austin, keep talking.

665
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,080
That looks like the statue of Liberty torch,

666
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,080
not the fucking stuff we're supposed to smoke.

667
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,080
It looks like

668
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,080
For the listeners at home,

669
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,080
what I have, well, what Ryan's holding in his hand right now

670
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:34,080
is a

671
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,080
god, a fucking enormous bell ringer

672
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,080
that has

673
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,080
in it three

674
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:42,080
ten gram bucks.

675
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,080
This is the size queen.

676
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,080
And it's

677
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,080
the same person who tried to smoke this.

678
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,080
And we're about to send three people

679
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,080
into an undisclosed location.

680
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,080
And they're about to fucking achieve this.

681
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,080
And the last one to leave the car

682
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,080
wins.

683
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,080
Oh, sorry.

684
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,080
The last one to leave the other one is

685
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,080
the one with the shitload of barbies.

686
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,080
The one with the shitload of barbies.

687
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,080
The one with the shitload of barbies.

688
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,080
The one with the shitload of barbies.

689
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,080
So, we're fucking weird

690
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:14,080
and snitch nugs.

691
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,080
Do we need to go?

692
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,080
Do we need to hear them?

693
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,080
I want to hear the coffee. I want the coffee.

694
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,080
We just want them in the background.

695
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,080
Okay, great. So, awesome. You three.

696
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,080
Let's follow Austin. Let's give it up for our

697
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,080
three challengers.

698
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,080
I didn't agree to be in the camera though.

699
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,080
Austin doesn't smoke. He's about to get had.

700
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:34,080
I didn't know

701
00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,080
I was being filmed though.

702
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,080
That's what's good about a podcast.

703
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,080
This will be deleted.

704
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,080
Can I hold the camera?

705
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,080
Yeah, yeah.

706
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,080
That's awesome.

707
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,080
You're driving, yeah?

708
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,080
We're not recording.

709
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,080
It's supposed to be recording video, not video, guys.

710
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,080
We're not

711
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,080
recording.

712
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,080
Audio, not video.

713
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,080
You guys good?

714
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,080
You can't hear him anyway.

715
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,080
Does anybody want the fucking weed?

716
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,080
I know. Everybody's taking

717
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:08,080
out the weed.

718
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,080
Everybody.

719
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,080
They left the weed. They scared the fuck out of us.

720
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:14,080
They're so afraid.

721
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,080
Did you also

722
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,080
add up all the guys?

723
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:20,080
No, I didn't.

724
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,080
We're cutting.

725
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,080
We're cutting.

726
00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,080
How are you guys doing over there?

727
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,080
Listen, it's a fucking

728
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,080
live podcast.

729
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,080
You know,

730
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,080
technical difficulties.

731
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,080
We're smoking a lot of fucking weed.

732
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,080
They ran away?

733
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,080
We got one guy in the car.

734
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,080
We're right there.

735
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,080
Yeah, yeah.

736
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,080
We're going to hotbox the car.

737
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,080
You can do this every morning on the way to work.

738
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,080
You got this.

739
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,080
If you do it, it comes natural.

740
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,080
You can fucking film me every day.

741
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:56,080
This is a...

742
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,080
Let's give it up for the Valorant Challenge.

743
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,080
We already know who's going to win.

744
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,080
That's Kentucky already.

745
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,080
She's going to win.

746
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,080
I got three felonies right here

747
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,080
that Kentucky takes the WI.

748
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:10,080
That's fucked up.

749
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,080
You can plug your shit.

750
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,080
Don't plug your shit.

751
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,080
Plug your shit, Ryan.

752
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,080
What else is on the

753
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,080
itinerary that was

754
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,080
written up very beautifully by my friend?

755
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,080
I don't know.

756
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,080
I can't read it.

757
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:28,080
I can't read it.

758
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,080
I'm almost dead.

759
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,080
I'm almost dead, my friend.

760
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,080
This next part

761
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,080
sounds like a sex scene.

762
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,080
The first one is lit.

763
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,080
First one is lit.

764
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,080
First one is lit.

765
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,080
Second one is lit.

766
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,080
Third one is lit.

767
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,080
Third one is lit.

768
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,080
We need a little more light.

769
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,080
We need a little more light.

770
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,080
We need audio.

771
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,080
Let's get him flushed.

772
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,080
It looks like a fucked up

773
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,080
night machine goggles set.

774
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,080
It's like an alien

775
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,080
spaceship.

776
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,080
They're all over this area.

777
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,080
Troubleshoot on screen.

778
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,080
Austin looks like he's

779
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,080
stuck in a brain building.

780
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,080
Austin doesn't

781
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,080
smoke.

782
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,080
You know you're going to get

783
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,080
contact high like a bullet.

784
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,080
They don't really look fucked.

785
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:24,080
They don't really look fucked.

786
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:26,080
Get it Eric.

787
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,080
Get it Eric.

788
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,080
Yeah.

789
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,080
I only see two.

790
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,080
Is this your mic rack?

791
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,080
Probably.

792
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,080
If I hear some porno I'm in.

793
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,080
I'm out there.

794
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,080
This is

795
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,080
real entertaining audio shit.

796
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,080
They're smoking.

797
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,080
Austin looks scared.

798
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,080
They're smoking it out at once.

799
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,080
That's what I said.

800
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,080
Is that the fucking Barbie

801
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,080
girl piece?

802
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,080
Yes it is.

803
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,080
So I'm boring my audience

804
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,080
so much they're fucking dancing the Barbie

805
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,080
girl piece.

806
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,080
My mom got me

807
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,080
my mom

808
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,080
for some reason.

809
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,080
My mom got me a Barbie.

810
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,080
Lamp lights.

811
00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:16,080
Barbie lights.

812
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,080
Christmas story.

813
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,080
They're like little lights

814
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,080
in the bedroom.

815
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,080
Come on Barbie. Let's go party.

816
00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:26,080
Those are fucking awesome Andy.

817
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,080
What's that?

818
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,080
Hey the dollar store

819
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,080
has some cool shit.

820
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,080
Hobby Lobby.

821
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,080
What's it clearance?

822
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:38,080
Why is Austin still in there?

823
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,080
He's going to be

824
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,080
fucking crazy.

825
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,080
He's going to start pretending he's driving.

826
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,080
He's going to be like

827
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,080
a dog.

828
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,080
What's that?

829
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,080
It's a beard.

830
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,080
It's a beard.

831
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,080
This part

832
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,080
seems real sexual. We go on Skype

833
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,080
outside to Austin and contest it

834
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:02,080
and get his belt running.

835
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,080
How about we ring

836
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:06,080
the bell Andy.

837
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,080
I tried to do that every week with my wife.

838
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,080
That never goes over. He doesn't take 5 minutes either.

839
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,080
I get shut down in like 20 seconds man.

840
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,080
What do we smoke

841
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:28,360
I don't smoke weed but I feel like we just put a bunch of people in an airlock

842
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:31,720
and they're just like hang in there you're doing good

843
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:37,760
knowing that we're gonna hit the button and just launch them into fucking space

844
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:42,920
they're getting they got mad at me when I opened the door I have to go there's

845
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,960
no audio we can't hear them it's just like they're just like it's like seeing

846
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:51,040
someone in the airlock banging on the door you can't hear anything

847
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:58,000
yeah you see two of what was the challenge anyway we just got a bunch of

848
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:14,040
that's right yeah thank you

849
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:33,400
which is why it's so fun

850
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,600
it's on a schedule

851
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:38,600
I wasn't aware tonight

852
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:46,100
what was that toby lee jones movie where it opens up and the guy kills himself by sticking a bag in the gas pipe

853
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:48,100
That's what that looks like.

854
00:39:48,100 --> 00:39:50,100
They're going to fucking die.

855
00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:52,100
This is the opening.

856
00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:54,100
There's Susie.

857
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:56,100
They're going to join them.

858
00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:58,100
Susie.

859
00:39:58,100 --> 00:40:00,100
Susie.

860
00:40:00,100 --> 00:40:02,100
Susie.

861
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:04,100
You guys see her.

862
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:06,100
You see her.

863
00:40:06,100 --> 00:40:10,100
So did you prepare for all of them not to leave?

864
00:40:10,100 --> 00:40:12,100
Keep going. You're doing great.

865
00:40:12,100 --> 00:40:14,100
You're only going to die a little bit.

866
00:40:14,100 --> 00:40:16,100
We got to be shushing a little bit.

867
00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:18,100
I need him to open a gift.

868
00:40:18,100 --> 00:40:20,100
Oh yeah. Which one is it?

869
00:40:20,100 --> 00:40:22,100
I'll open it up.

870
00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:24,100
Can you guys hear her?

871
00:40:24,100 --> 00:40:26,100
I made a really funny joke earlier to her.

872
00:40:26,100 --> 00:40:30,100
Remember that thing I said earlier about seeing women hitting on me after the show?

873
00:40:30,100 --> 00:40:32,100
I made everything in this.

874
00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:34,100
Except for the things that were already dead.

875
00:40:34,100 --> 00:40:36,100
That's right.

876
00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:38,100
You didn't kill her.

877
00:40:38,100 --> 00:40:40,100
She says I didn't kill her.

878
00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:42,100
She says I didn't kill her.

879
00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:44,100
She says I didn't kill her.

880
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:46,100
She says I didn't kill her.

881
00:40:46,100 --> 00:40:48,100
Except for the stuff that was already dead.

882
00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:50,100
What the fuck is happening tonight?

883
00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:52,100
Look at that.

884
00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:56,100
Justin, you are so at home right now with this whole thing.

885
00:40:56,100 --> 00:40:58,100
This is like your type of weird fucking house.

886
00:40:58,100 --> 00:41:00,100
Justin, do you go to the audience convention?

887
00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:02,100
Shit.

888
00:41:02,100 --> 00:41:04,100
Do you go to the audience convention?

889
00:41:04,100 --> 00:41:06,100
No, I need to.

890
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:08,100
I'm in my life right now.

891
00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:10,100
Keep opening it. I'll find it.

892
00:41:10,100 --> 00:41:12,100
This is special.

893
00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:14,100
Oh my god.

894
00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:16,100
What? Okay.

895
00:41:16,100 --> 00:41:18,100
What happened to your body?

896
00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:20,100
What the fuck happened?

897
00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:22,100
We're having a video.

898
00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:24,100
We're having a video, Andy.

899
00:41:24,100 --> 00:41:26,100
Jesse, what are you doing over there, bro?

900
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:28,100
It says,

901
00:41:28,100 --> 00:41:30,100
Get off the pornhub, bro.

902
00:41:30,100 --> 00:41:32,100
That's a beauty.

903
00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:34,100
Hey.

904
00:41:34,100 --> 00:41:36,100
I'll go with you, but make sure you get the screen.

905
00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:38,100
What happened?

906
00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:40,100
Molcissor?

907
00:41:40,100 --> 00:41:44,100
Molcissor fossils and handmade stuff from Kara.

908
00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:46,100
We've never met before.

909
00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:50,100
This is such a thoughtful fucking cool ass thing.

910
00:41:50,100 --> 00:41:52,100
Thank you so much.

911
00:41:52,100 --> 00:41:54,100
I think she might be hitting on you.

912
00:41:54,100 --> 00:41:56,100
But he would.

913
00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:58,100
She's mad.

914
00:41:58,100 --> 00:42:00,100
Andy.

915
00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:02,100
Andy.

916
00:42:02,100 --> 00:42:04,100
I said fives and sixes.

917
00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,100
That's a really comfort zone.

918
00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:08,100
She's interacting with you guys.

919
00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:10,100
I'm a sod four.

920
00:42:10,100 --> 00:42:12,100
This is like Love on the Spectrum, but right in front of you.

921
00:42:12,100 --> 00:42:14,100
This is fucking awesome.

922
00:42:14,100 --> 00:42:16,100
Have that five or six.

923
00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:18,100
I have a live update.

924
00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:20,100
Don't move, guys. You're going to disturb them.

925
00:42:20,100 --> 00:42:22,100
Hello, everyone.

926
00:42:22,100 --> 00:42:34,100
I'm reporting to you live from an undisclosed blue Nissan Sentra in an undisclosed parking lot of an undisclosed building that we are standing outside of.

927
00:42:34,100 --> 00:42:38,100
There's two unicorns running back and forth here.

928
00:42:38,100 --> 00:42:40,100
Can you fuck off and just watch this interaction?

929
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:42,100
This is amazing.

930
00:42:42,100 --> 00:42:44,100
I swear right now.

931
00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:48,100
I didn't hear a word Austin just said.

932
00:42:48,100 --> 00:42:50,100
You can't find it wrong.

933
00:42:50,100 --> 00:42:52,100
I have an update.

934
00:42:52,100 --> 00:42:54,100
Is he still alive?

935
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:56,100
He's not really okay now.

936
00:42:56,100 --> 00:42:58,100
Now you don't know if it's a joke or it's not.

937
00:42:58,100 --> 00:43:00,100
You know what?

938
00:43:00,100 --> 00:43:02,100
The molussoid went down.

939
00:43:02,100 --> 00:43:04,100
That's a real number.

940
00:43:04,100 --> 00:43:06,100
That's a number.

941
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:08,100
That's not a zip code.

942
00:43:08,100 --> 00:43:10,100
I learned this from watching Love on the Spectrum.

943
00:43:10,100 --> 00:43:12,100
Say you like Legos.

944
00:43:12,100 --> 00:43:14,100
I like turtles.

945
00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:16,100
I like turtles.

946
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:18,100
Don't lose this.

947
00:43:18,100 --> 00:43:20,100
That's a very cool birthday gift.

948
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:22,100
This is the best gift.

949
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,100
That's called hope.

950
00:43:24,100 --> 00:43:26,100
I love the fossils.

951
00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:28,100
Hope for Andy.

952
00:43:28,100 --> 00:43:30,100
This is the best gift.

953
00:43:30,100 --> 00:43:32,100
Now it's your turn.

954
00:43:32,100 --> 00:43:34,100
Buckle up for the weirdest text of your life.

955
00:43:34,100 --> 00:43:38,100
This is where I lose it.

956
00:43:38,100 --> 00:43:40,100
I start texting, hey.

957
00:43:40,100 --> 00:43:42,100
Do you like fucking divas and putt?

958
00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:46,100
Did you know it spawned off King of the Hill?

959
00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:48,100
Did you know we also rubbed fucking office paper?

960
00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:52,100
Are you really into fossils?

961
00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:54,100
Is that something you're passionate about?

962
00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:56,100
I do fossils in open.

963
00:43:56,100 --> 00:43:58,100
We have a fossil over here.

964
00:43:58,100 --> 00:44:00,100
I love open.

965
00:44:00,100 --> 00:44:02,100
That could be the first date you guys look for fossils.

966
00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:04,100
You know how to call a donkey?

967
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:14,100
All I know about the donkeys is that if I buy food from one of you at the top of the street, I'm going to have to buy food four more times by the time I get to the bottom.

968
00:44:14,100 --> 00:44:18,100
Because none of the food from the guy at the top is supposed to give the donkeys.

969
00:44:18,100 --> 00:44:28,100
Either it's the one below it or the one below that or the one below that.

970
00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:30,100
But I love it.

971
00:44:30,100 --> 00:44:32,100
Look, they're like halfway, dude.

972
00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:34,100
Holy shit, they're still going.

973
00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:36,100
No one's quit yet.

974
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,100
They haven't even started.

975
00:44:38,100 --> 00:44:40,100
No one has quit?

976
00:44:40,100 --> 00:44:42,100
No one's quit.

977
00:44:42,100 --> 00:44:44,100
They're halfway through.

978
00:44:44,100 --> 00:44:46,100
Well, I'm going to have to buy food from one of you at the top of the street.

979
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:48,100
Well, fuck.

980
00:44:48,100 --> 00:44:50,100
There's more gifts.

981
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:52,100
Here.

982
00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:54,100
I will, yes.

983
00:44:54,100 --> 00:44:56,100
Absolutely.

984
00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:58,100
Do not lose that number.

985
00:44:58,100 --> 00:45:00,100
Should we get to, because we have two gift sections on this itinerary that's two fucking pages long.

986
00:45:00,100 --> 00:45:02,100
For what should be an hour on the podcast.

987
00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:04,100
It should be an hour.

988
00:45:04,100 --> 00:45:06,100
Can we just end with Andy one down low?

989
00:45:06,100 --> 00:45:08,100
You should end on that.

990
00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:10,100
You won.

991
00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:12,100
You actually won for one.

992
00:45:12,100 --> 00:45:14,100
I really should give the rest of the gifts to charity because I feel like God just intervened.

993
00:45:14,100 --> 00:45:16,100
I did.

994
00:45:16,100 --> 00:45:18,100
Okay.

995
00:45:18,100 --> 00:45:20,100
The rest of this is going to suck compared to that.

996
00:45:20,100 --> 00:45:22,100
That was going to be clips.

997
00:45:22,100 --> 00:45:24,100
Yeah.

998
00:45:24,100 --> 00:45:26,100
We're going to do that mystery theater.

999
00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:28,100
Oh yeah, let's do that.

1000
00:45:28,100 --> 00:45:30,100
We're going to do that.

1001
00:45:30,100 --> 00:45:32,100
How about we get an update on the people in the fucking...

1002
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:34,100
Yeah, we'll do an update.

1003
00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,100
We'll do an update.

1004
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:38,100
Which is what I came up here for and then just got fucking just berated by a fucking this guy.

1005
00:45:38,100 --> 00:45:40,100
Who only shows up like once every 60 episodes.

1006
00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:42,100
Who only shows up like once every 60 episodes.

1007
00:45:42,100 --> 00:45:44,100
Come on!

1008
00:45:44,100 --> 00:45:46,100
Somebody go get him.

1009
00:45:46,100 --> 00:45:48,100
Yeah, I went out there about 10 minutes ago.

1010
00:45:48,100 --> 00:45:50,100
And three of them are doing okay.

1011
00:45:50,100 --> 00:45:52,100
And one of them said help me.

1012
00:45:52,100 --> 00:45:54,100
So I'm going to go check on them again while we do this next segment.

1013
00:45:54,100 --> 00:45:56,100
And then I'll have another report at the end of that segment.

1014
00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:58,100
And then I'll have another report at the end of that segment.

1015
00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:00,100
I won't interrupt you again.

1016
00:46:00,100 --> 00:46:02,100
I'm sorry.

1017
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:04,100
Johnnie is running across.

1018
00:46:04,100 --> 00:46:06,100
He doesn't smoke but he put himself in a dangerous way to fucking get up.

1019
00:46:06,100 --> 00:46:08,100
Is this a whole lot of us?

1020
00:46:08,100 --> 00:46:10,100
Yeah.

1021
00:46:10,100 --> 00:46:12,100
This is a straight up kidnap.

1022
00:46:12,100 --> 00:46:14,100
I have your podcast hostage.

1023
00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:16,100
You won't ever see him alive again.

1024
00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:18,100
Can we get that on a t-shirt?

1025
00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:20,100
I want that on a t-shirt.

1026
00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:22,100
That's the creepiest photo of us.

1027
00:46:22,100 --> 00:46:24,100
That's the thumbnail for the episode.

1028
00:46:24,100 --> 00:46:26,100
Oh, yeah.

1029
00:46:26,100 --> 00:46:28,100
So, Brendan, why don't you introduce,

1030
00:46:28,100 --> 00:46:30,100
so probably the,

1031
00:46:30,100 --> 00:46:32,100
well he's introducing what we're going to be doing.

1032
00:46:32,100 --> 00:46:34,100
So, Brendan,

1033
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:36,100
you're going to be doing the

1034
00:46:36,100 --> 00:46:40,100
so probably the, well he's introducing what we're going to be smoking right here.

1035
00:46:40,100 --> 00:46:42,100
Oh, yeah.

1036
00:46:42,100 --> 00:46:44,100
Do we have any of what are we smoking music?

1037
00:46:44,100 --> 00:46:46,100
Oh, we have what are we smoking music live?

1038
00:46:46,100 --> 00:46:48,100
You tell me.

1039
00:46:48,100 --> 00:46:50,100
No.

1040
00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:52,100
We can't go back that far.

1041
00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:54,100
I have three music cues.

1042
00:46:54,100 --> 00:46:56,100
We got to get through this bad boy.

1043
00:46:56,100 --> 00:46:58,100
So, let's get it.

1044
00:46:58,100 --> 00:47:02,100
So, I brought a baby jeter cannon.

1045
00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:04,100
So, I brought a baby jeter cannon.

1046
00:47:04,100 --> 00:47:06,100
It's going to be a hybrid nebula.

1047
00:47:06,100 --> 00:47:08,100
So, it's a

1048
00:47:08,100 --> 00:47:10,100
pretty strong jeter.

1049
00:47:10,100 --> 00:47:12,100
I have my own microphone.

1050
00:47:12,100 --> 00:47:14,100
He's so fucked up.

1051
00:47:14,100 --> 00:47:16,100
He's got the other mic.

1052
00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:18,100
I'm just trying to take people's mics.

1053
00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:20,100
Hey, listen, I'm so happy.

1054
00:47:20,100 --> 00:47:22,100
Not just because of that

1055
00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:24,100
whole shit. Because that,

1056
00:47:24,100 --> 00:47:26,100
act of God, like I said, just stroke of like,

1057
00:47:26,100 --> 00:47:28,100
you know, whatever. But,

1058
00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:30,100
I'm just happy you all came out of here.

1059
00:47:30,100 --> 00:47:32,100
I feel real good.

1060
00:47:32,100 --> 00:47:34,100
Thank you.

1061
00:47:34,100 --> 00:47:36,100
What's our next thing?

1062
00:47:36,100 --> 00:47:38,100
The mystery image theater.

1063
00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:40,100
So, we're going to just talk shit about a movie

1064
00:47:40,100 --> 00:47:42,100
for like ten minutes. I think that'll be

1065
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:44,100
something. Let's do it.

1066
00:47:44,100 --> 00:47:46,100
What's a weird date you guys can do?

1067
00:47:46,100 --> 00:47:48,100
Look for Rox in my oven for a second.

1068
00:47:48,100 --> 00:47:50,100
Excuse me.

1069
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,100
For my sake,

1070
00:47:52,100 --> 00:47:54,100
just for the sake of anything, in case

1071
00:47:54,100 --> 00:47:56,100
it wasn't a sick joke on her part,

1072
00:47:56,100 --> 00:47:58,100
let's just stop berating the poor girl

1073
00:47:58,100 --> 00:48:00,100
and just let her enjoy

1074
00:48:00,100 --> 00:48:02,100
the show.

1075
00:48:02,100 --> 00:48:04,100
I'm already,

1076
00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:06,100
she's already

1077
00:48:06,100 --> 00:48:08,100
seen that planning isn't one of my strong

1078
00:48:08,100 --> 00:48:10,100
suits.

1079
00:48:10,100 --> 00:48:12,100
Like,

1080
00:48:12,100 --> 00:48:14,100
following a list isn't one of

1081
00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:16,100
my strong suits.

1082
00:48:16,100 --> 00:48:18,100
I know in the future that.

1083
00:48:18,100 --> 00:48:20,100
I hope she's not religious.

1084
00:48:20,100 --> 00:48:22,100
Because I definitely would have said something God

1085
00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:24,100
earlier in the book.

1086
00:48:24,100 --> 00:48:26,100
Fuck. Well, I don't know.

1087
00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:28,100
Fossils. Most people that believe in fossils

1088
00:48:28,100 --> 00:48:30,100
and are so religious.

1089
00:48:30,100 --> 00:48:32,100
They're not religious.

1090
00:48:32,100 --> 00:48:34,100
Alright.

1091
00:48:34,100 --> 00:48:36,100
Good job, Abbey.

1092
00:48:36,100 --> 00:48:38,100
One, two, three, one, two, three.

1093
00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,100
Right there.

1094
00:48:40,100 --> 00:48:42,100
Down. No, no, no, no.

1095
00:48:42,100 --> 00:48:44,100
Up, up, wait, stop, stop, stop!

1096
00:48:44,100 --> 00:48:46,100
Get out of there! No, what the fuck!

1097
00:48:46,100 --> 00:48:48,100
Hahaha!

1098
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:50,100
You better go in your book.

1099
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:52,100
Andy, did you just cover your screen?

1100
00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:54,100
Hahaha!

1101
00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:56,100
What was that saved one?

1102
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,100
Hahaha!

1103
00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:00,100
Now that girl knows a lot

1104
00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:02,100
about you.

1105
00:49:02,100 --> 00:49:04,100
What was that? Oh, no, that's

1106
00:49:04,100 --> 00:49:06,100
you, Barbie? What was that?

1107
00:49:06,100 --> 00:49:08,100
I bet it was just a file that was named a

1108
00:49:08,100 --> 00:49:10,100
here.

1109
00:49:10,100 --> 00:49:12,100
They're trying to hear file.

1110
00:49:12,100 --> 00:49:14,100
Whatever you guys got.

1111
00:49:14,100 --> 00:49:16,100
I don't want you guys to see my fucking

1112
00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:18,100
bookmarks.

1113
00:49:18,100 --> 00:49:20,100
You've got it with Barbie's already labeled.

1114
00:49:20,100 --> 00:49:22,100
Right?

1115
00:49:22,100 --> 00:49:24,100
So many of this one, so many of that one.

1116
00:49:24,100 --> 00:49:26,100
You know Mark Bansy Barbie?

1117
00:49:26,100 --> 00:49:28,100
You've got another Barbie.

1118
00:49:28,100 --> 00:49:30,100
You guys are going to find out my Barbie

1119
00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:32,100
is that what you're saying? My Barbie?

1120
00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:34,100
You have a Google doc of all

1121
00:49:34,100 --> 00:49:36,100
your Barbie things.

1122
00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:38,100
He's got a room for a one hour

1123
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,100
pose style.

1124
00:49:40,100 --> 00:49:42,100
I can already see Andy's birthday wishlist

1125
00:49:42,100 --> 00:49:44,100
next year is a podcast live

1126
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:46,100
project.

1127
00:49:46,100 --> 00:49:48,100
What are we watching here?

1128
00:49:48,100 --> 00:49:50,100
You're playing the fucking movie

1129
00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:51,080
of the

1130
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:54,080
American

1131
00:49:54,080 --> 00:49:56,080
three thousand from the year

1132
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:58,080
one.

1133
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,080
It looks like the 80s sometime.

1134
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,080
Nine hundred years after the great

1135
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,080
world

1136
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,080
he created he destroyed

1137
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,080
out of the darkness of

1138
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,080
radioactivity

1139
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,080
rubble emerged a new

1140
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,080
world

1141
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,080
and

1142
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:19,080
the

1143
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,080
world was

1144
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,080
amazing.

1145
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:25,080
I have to go return some video

1146
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,080
right now.

1147
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:29,080
Bye everybody.

1148
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,080
Bye everybody.

1149
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:33,080
Really?

1150
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:35,080
Fuck you Ryan.

1151
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:37,080
You're now in

1152
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,080
control.

1153
00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,080
I am.

1154
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,080
I am.

1155
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,080
I am.

1156
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:47,080
I am.

1157
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,080
I am.

1158
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,080
I'm driving the ship now.

1159
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:53,080
Well

1160
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,080
David Inglewold

1161
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:57,080
Pumpernickel

1162
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,080
So to be fair

1163
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,080
I found this

1164
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,080
today on

1165
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,080
I have no

1166
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,080
idea what the fuck this is about.

1167
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,080
I'm sorry.

1168
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:11,080
So far it's beating Swamp Man.

1169
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:13,080
It's already been

1170
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:15,080
man-fam.

1171
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:17,080
I have to be

1172
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,080
so I'm going to put it in the

1173
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,080
book and get out.

1174
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,080
Do you think this was a parody like

1175
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,080
Monkey Python or do you think this was a

1176
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:27,080
serious film?

1177
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,080
I think this is a serious film.

1178
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:31,080
Hey look, Bill Ringer.

1179
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,080
That was product placement.

1180
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,080
William Wallace is in here.

1181
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,080
That's

1182
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,080
the guy who

1183
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,080
played that.

1184
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,080
Yes.

1185
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,080
I just want to see

1186
00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:47,080
I feel like we can stop watching

1187
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,080
this once we understand what this movie is about.

1188
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:51,080
I just want to know

1189
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:53,080
it's about power.

1190
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,080
It's about power.

1191
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,080
Did you just say power?

1192
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,080
Power.

1193
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,080
In the corner.

1194
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,080
You hit the

1195
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,080
sun issue.

1196
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,080
Yeah, where they at?

1197
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,080
They're

1198
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,080
in the car though?

1199
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,080
Yeah.

1200
00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:15,080
They're in the undisclosed location.

1201
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:17,080
Oh.

1202
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,080
I hope I didn't pick

1203
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:21,080
the sun issue.

1204
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,080
It would be once you pick it up.

1205
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,080
I feel like this is a

1206
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,080
bowling alley.

1207
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,080
It's not having the power.

1208
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,080
Oh, god damn it. I got waxed.

1209
00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:33,080
Oh, shit.

1210
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,080
Hold on. Pause the movie.

1211
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,080
We got the belt

1212
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,080
and the TV's right there.

1213
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,080
Did you guys

1214
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:43,080
finish it?

1215
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,080
No, she looks like that girl in the picture.

1216
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,080
Who tapped out?

1217
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,080
Me first.

1218
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,080
She had a pee.

1219
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,080
Who's left?

1220
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,080
Just Bobby?

1221
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,080
It's Kentucky.

1222
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,080
It's Kentucky and

1223
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,080
Bobby.

1224
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,080
Bobby and Edgar?

1225
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:05,080
Keep it talking after

1226
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,080
closing the bar.

1227
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,080
They're all three in there.

1228
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,080
So how do you feel, Susie?

1229
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,080
I'm high as fuck.

1230
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,080
Just tell

1231
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,080
the audience how you feel.

1232
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:19,080
Go into the mic.

1233
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:21,080
She's like, I don't even know how to walk.

1234
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,080
She's like walking.

1235
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:25,080
High as fuck.

1236
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,080
I'll say wait a minute.

1237
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:31,080
She's not much for many words.

1238
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,080
That's the day.

1239
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,080
That's a light in the back.

1240
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,080
They're no longer

1241
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,080
responding.

1242
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,080
They're

1243
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,080
two left, right?

1244
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:45,080
They probably think you're some sort of deity.

1245
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:47,080
They're moving lots more.

1246
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:49,080
Just doing an open book presentation for me.

1247
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:51,080
I feel like I need to use

1248
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:53,080
this press play a minute.

1249
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,080
Oh, I just skipped all the way to the end.

1250
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:01,080
Oh, shit.

1251
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,080
She said how many rubies.

1252
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,080
That must be the chicken from

1253
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,080
Namor metal music.

1254
00:54:07,080 --> 00:54:09,080
I know, baby.

1255
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,080
Oh, they're getting there.

1256
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,080
They're getting there.

1257
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:15,080
They're still

1258
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:17,080
talking.

1259
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:19,080
They're boomeranging.

1260
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,080
Okay, they're

1261
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,080
disc golfing.

1262
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:25,080
Okay, yeah, so it's a bunch of

1263
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:27,080
hot chicks

1264
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,080
throwing frisbees at young boys

1265
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,080
running around the corner.

1266
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,080
Oh, that was Denver Brighton?

1267
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:35,080
It's still the credits.

1268
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,080
It's just jack of all the deal.

1269
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:39,080
The balls.

1270
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,080
You know, it's crazy.

1271
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,080
I just gotta provide

1272
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,080
another update.

1273
00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:47,080
I just gotta provide

1274
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,080
another update about

1275
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,080
the Ringer Challenge.

1276
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,080
I just realized I sent them in there with

1277
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,080
a 30 gram one, 330

1278
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,080
chicken.

1279
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,080
Chicken?

1280
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:01,080
Chicken?

1281
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,080
My car is fucked right now.

1282
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,080
That's why you're the most important

1283
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:09,080
person on the clock.

1284
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,080
Andy O's

1285
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:13,080
asking to vacuum out your car.

1286
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,080
This is circleism of you.

1287
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,080
This is shit.

1288
00:55:21,080 --> 00:55:23,080
I'm sorry, guys.

1289
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:25,080
I'm gonna open presents while they

1290
00:55:25,080 --> 00:55:27,080
look at it.

1291
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,080
Andy, you gotta raise your hand.

1292
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,080
Hello.

1293
00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:33,080
How do I get a beanie?

1294
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,080
I want your beanie.

1295
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,080
Your beanie?

1296
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,080
Hey, bro, you're flirting with me.

1297
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:41,080
It's not me, my you. It's Flurrie.

1298
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,080
How do we name your beanie?

1299
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:45,080
She made it for me.

1300
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,080
There's only one left.

1301
00:55:47,080 --> 00:55:49,080
Ha ha ha.

1302
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:51,080
Ha ha ha.

1303
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,080
Bobby wins!

1304
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:55,080
Woo!

1305
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,080
Woo!

1306
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,080
Woo!

1307
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:01,080
Bobby wins!

1308
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,080
This is Bobby.

1309
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,080
He's still staying in the car.

1310
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:07,080
He's like, get him out.

1311
00:56:07,080 --> 00:56:09,080
He's still in the car.

1312
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,080
That's what I'm talking about.

1313
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,080
He's still in the car.

1314
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:15,080
He's still in the car.

1315
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:17,080
He's still in the car.

1316
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:19,080
I had to pee.

1317
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:21,080
I was like, you know.

1318
00:56:21,080 --> 00:56:23,080
I think we're gonna let the audience decide.

1319
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,080
Oh, he already came out.

1320
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,080
He's in the car.

1321
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:29,080
He's in the car.

1322
00:56:29,080 --> 00:56:31,080
He's in the beanie.

1323
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,080
He's in the beanie.

1324
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:39,080
We have people that want to buy a beanie.

1325
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,080
We have people that want to buy a beanie.

1326
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,080
His mom was selling the beanie and the little nut.

1327
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:45,080
The nut guys.

1328
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:47,080
Do you take me out?

1329
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,080
I'm selling them, as I explained earlier, you fucking stoners.

1330
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:51,080
I would like to buy a beanie, sir.

1331
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:59,080
They're $25, but if you show me and Andy that you're subscribed to us on Instagram and Facebook, they're $20.

1332
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:01,080
What's your Instagram?

1333
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:03,080
What's your Instagram?

1334
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,080
Where are you right now?

1335
00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,080
That's the answer.

1336
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,080
Pride Rise Podcast.

1337
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:11,080
Pride Rise Podcast on Instagram and Facebook.

1338
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,080
I don't...

1339
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:15,080
We got three left.

1340
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:17,080
I'm gonna see Andy.

1341
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,080
Yeah, fuck.

1342
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,080
Let's give away some prizes.

1343
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:23,080
Beanie!

1344
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,080
First off, we're not giving away beanie.

1345
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,080
Where's Bobby?

1346
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:29,080
Where's Bobby?

1347
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,080
Where is he?

1348
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:33,080
He's got to get his prize.

1349
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,080
Oh, he still has it.

1350
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,080
I have prizes.

1351
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:39,080
Let's see.

1352
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,080
Over here.

1353
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,080
Big guy in the cowboy hat.

1354
00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:45,080
Come on up. You're the first prize winner.

1355
00:57:45,080 --> 00:57:47,080
Win, win, win, win.

1356
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,080
Alright, Chris.

1357
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:51,080
What's your name?

1358
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,080
Chris.

1359
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:55,080
That's me, Chris.

1360
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,080
Chris.

1361
00:57:57,080 --> 00:57:59,080
Fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah, fah.

1362
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:01,080
Hey, Bob's still in his fucking belly.

1363
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,080
Hey, hold it, Jack.

1364
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,080
Oh, yeah.

1365
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,080
I didn't hit this, too.

1366
00:58:07,080 --> 00:58:09,080
I didn't measure that there, Bob.

1367
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,080
I couldn't take no more after I picked him up.

1368
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,080
How's that feel, Bob?

1369
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,080
His arm is lit, bro.

1370
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,080
It's like a horse.

1371
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,080
Hey, Bob's a big energy.

1372
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:21,080
Yes, sir.

1373
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:23,080
Andy, do you have a ride?

1374
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,080
Give me the mic.

1375
00:58:25,080 --> 00:58:27,080
The mic.

1376
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,080
Andy, I don't even smoke weed, but give me that shit.

1377
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,080
No!

1378
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:33,080
Andy, the prize.

1379
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:35,080
What are you doing?

1380
00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:37,080
You don't even smoke.

1381
00:58:37,080 --> 00:58:41,080
I think the cowboy hat guy should get a hit, too.

1382
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:43,080
I shouldn't have done that.

1383
00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:45,080
That's part of the prize.

1384
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:47,080
That's part of the prize?

1385
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:49,080
Oh, shit! Pure pressure wins!

1386
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,080
Yeah!

1387
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:53,080
Woo!

1388
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,080
Oh!

1389
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,080
I should go to the bathroom.

1390
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:59,080
Where were you in the water?

1391
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:01,080
I fucked that up.

1392
00:59:01,080 --> 00:59:03,080
Thank you so much. Here's your prize.

1393
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:05,080
I bought it.

1394
00:59:05,080 --> 00:59:07,080
I went to Temu, and I spent way too much money.

1395
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:11,080
And so all your prizes tonight are basically crap.

1396
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:15,080
But this crap is a tiny little alien Lego toy from Aliens.

1397
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:17,080
It's like a xenoblurph. It's sick.

1398
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,080
All right, that's our first prize.

1399
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,080
Second prize. Rachel, come on up.

1400
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,080
Where's my Barbie?

1401
00:59:25,080 --> 00:59:27,080
Where's Austin?

1402
00:59:27,080 --> 00:59:29,080
Oh, my God.

1403
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:31,080
He's stuck in the car.

1404
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,080
There's Austin.

1405
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:37,080
I'm not buying it. It's going for whoever.

1406
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:39,080
Oh, announce it, then.

1407
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:43,080
So we got one beanie of choice.

1408
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,080
For who?

1409
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,080
For a guest.

1410
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,080
Here's your wrist of random two.

1411
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,080
Could be anything.

1412
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:53,080
It's a scroll of some sort.

1413
00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:55,080
Open it up and tell me what it is.

1414
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:57,080
Who would you put up a beanie with?

1415
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:01,080
Zach just bought a beanie for somebody, so he gets to choose who gets it.

1416
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,080
I'm not choosing it.

1417
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:05,080
Make it a game. Make it an AI game.

1418
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:07,080
Make it an AI game.

1419
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:09,080
That is really cool.

1420
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,080
How about we get this?

1421
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:13,080
That is fucking cool.

1422
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,080
That's a Beetlejuice.

1423
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:17,080
That's fucking cool.

1424
01:00:17,080 --> 01:00:19,080
I need the names of four.

1425
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:21,080
I see four of you back here.

1426
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,080
You can do...

1427
01:00:23,080 --> 01:00:25,080
You can...

1428
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:27,080
You can...

1429
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:29,080
Bride toss it.

1430
01:00:29,080 --> 01:00:31,080
We're doing a bride toss.

1431
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:35,080
First off, let's vote on the one we're going to do.

1432
01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:37,080
True?

1433
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:39,080
We're going to need to move that chair real quick.

1434
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,080
We're going to throw it in this open area.

1435
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,080
There are like three.

1436
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:45,080
I want the one on your head.

1437
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:49,080
The one on my head is for my head only.

1438
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:51,080
Who wants that?

1439
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:53,080
Get in this area real quick.

1440
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,080
I'm going to give them one of these.

1441
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:57,080
Get in this area right here.

1442
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:59,080
This small space.

1443
01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,080
It's a small space.

1444
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,080
It's like doing a Garter Band.

1445
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,080
I like that.

1446
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,080
I like that.

1447
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,080
Austin.

1448
01:01:09,080 --> 01:01:11,080
Cut.

1449
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:13,080
I like this one too.

1450
01:01:13,080 --> 01:01:15,080
Guys, get over here.

1451
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:17,080
In front of the heater.

1452
01:01:17,080 --> 01:01:19,080
Let's try not to knock over the heater.

1453
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:21,080
There's four contestants here.

1454
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:23,080
Just in case.

1455
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:25,080
Just in case.

1456
01:01:25,080 --> 01:01:27,080
Just in case.

1457
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:29,080
We want it away from the chair.

1458
01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:31,080
So we don't knock over the chair or any glass tables.

1459
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,080
No, no, no.

1460
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,080
We do that.

1461
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:37,080
Who's the four?

1462
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:39,080
We want it right here.

1463
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:41,080
That direction.

1464
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:43,080
If you want it in the four,

1465
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:45,080
it's not going to go very far.

1466
01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:47,080
If I have a right spot,

1467
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:49,080
I'm going to get in here.

1468
01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,080
It's right here.

1469
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,080
You don't want to listen.

1470
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:55,080
She's not fucked up enough.

1471
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:57,080
She's the only one listening.

1472
01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,080
It's right here.

1473
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:01,080
It's a beanie.

1474
01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,080
If you want it.

1475
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:05,080
If you want the beanie.

1476
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:07,080
One, two, three.

1477
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:09,080
Oh.

1478
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:11,080
Terrible call.

1479
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:13,080
Terrible call.

1480
01:02:13,080 --> 01:02:15,080
That's pretty good talk.

1481
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,080
You're the most dangerous thing you've done in your life.

1482
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:19,080
You got hit in the top block.

1483
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:21,080
You hit the rafters.

1484
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,080
Am I getting a bad throw?

1485
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:25,080
You hit the rafters.

1486
01:02:25,080 --> 01:02:27,080
But I want to buy one.

1487
01:02:27,080 --> 01:02:29,080
You want to buy one?

1488
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:31,080
That one.

1489
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,080
Thank you so much.

1490
01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:35,080
I think that's what charity Austin said.

1491
01:02:35,080 --> 01:02:37,080
So, charity.

1492
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:39,080
Like the Barbie's charity?

1493
01:02:39,080 --> 01:02:41,080
The Barbie Foundation?

1494
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:43,080
Take a bud.

1495
01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:45,080
What do you want?

1496
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:47,080
There's more prizes?

1497
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:49,080
There's more presents?

1498
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:51,080
There's the movies?

1499
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,080
The movie you want to watch next?

1500
01:02:53,080 --> 01:02:55,080
No, the next one.

1501
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:57,080
What about our other two contestants?

1502
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,080
What about our other two?

1503
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,080
Bobby, Bobby.

1504
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,080
Come on up.

1505
01:03:03,080 --> 01:03:05,080
You won the Bell Ring Challenge.

1506
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:07,080
Is this for you?

1507
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:09,080
Yes.

1508
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:11,080
Bobby, you won the big prize.

1509
01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,080
You won the Bell Ring Challenge.

1510
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,080
Open this up.

1511
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,080
Let's see it together.

1512
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:19,080
And while he opens that up,

1513
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:21,080
I'm going to open this one up.

1514
01:03:21,080 --> 01:03:23,080
Because I've already opened it up.

1515
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:25,080
Our contestants are going to open it up.

1516
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,080
Oh, yeah.

1517
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,080
Look.

1518
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,080
Get a good boy comic.

1519
01:03:31,080 --> 01:03:33,080
Suzy,

1520
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,080
get the comic for you.

1521
01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:37,080
Get the good boy comic.

1522
01:03:37,080 --> 01:03:39,080
It's a lava lamp.

1523
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,080
It's a lava lamp?

1524
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:43,080
Oh, you're on, D.

1525
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,080
Oh, look a beanie.

1526
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:47,080
And a lava lamp.

1527
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,080
And a lava lamp.

1528
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,080
Oh, yeah.

1529
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:53,080
Who's winner, Bobby?

1530
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,080
I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to have guns.

1531
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,080
Oh.

1532
01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,080
It's a little...

1533
01:03:59,080 --> 01:04:01,080
I'm not allowed to have guns.

1534
01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:03,080
Oh, that's a pipe, I think.

1535
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,080
Oh, give it back.

1536
01:04:05,080 --> 01:04:07,080
I'm allowed to have pipes.

1537
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:09,080
You're allowed to smoke.

1538
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:11,080
You're not allowed to have a gun as long as you don't have a pipe.

1539
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,080
Thank you.

1540
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,080
So we've got the pipe,

1541
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:17,080
or a butt plug. I'll open it up.

1542
01:04:17,080 --> 01:04:19,080
Anything about Rockets and Pets.

1543
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,080
I hear you can put some lead in that and smoke it.

1544
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,080
Holy shit.

1545
01:04:23,080 --> 01:04:25,080
That's sick.

1546
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:27,080
It's a hit.

1547
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,080
It's a whole in grabbing

1548
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:31,080
what I can only imagine.

1549
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,080
My ball.

1550
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,080
Well, just a white...

1551
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,080
I'm going to just say white ball, right?

1552
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:39,080
Thank you, whoever got me this.

1553
01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:41,080
Oh, wait, it had a name?

1554
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,080
Oh, Tomas.

1555
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:45,080
Tomas.

1556
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:47,080
You got me this?

1557
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,080
Tomas and I have been friends since 7th grade,

1558
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:51,080
and he doesn't smoke weed.

1559
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:53,080
I'm sorry.

1560
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:55,080
You had to deal with him for that one.

1561
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:57,080
Thanks, Tomas.

1562
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:59,080
You smoke it.

1563
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:01,080
I've been.

1564
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:03,080
That's from Tomas, too.

1565
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:05,080
I tried.

1566
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:07,080
That shit scared me.

1567
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,080
Hard to smoke it out.

1568
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,080
We got another one.

1569
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:13,080
I think we're done with this movie.

1570
01:05:13,080 --> 01:05:15,080
Hey, hey, hey.

1571
01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:17,080
Don't play it as it is.

1572
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,080
What?

1573
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,080
Is that a pipe?

1574
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:23,080
So, I don't know...

1575
01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:25,080
I don't know what this...

1576
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:27,080
I don't know what this is.

1577
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:29,080
It's body butter.

1578
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:31,080
Body butter collection.

1579
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:33,080
Body butter!

1580
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:35,080
Body butter!

1581
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,080
It's for the Barbies.

1582
01:05:37,080 --> 01:05:39,080
I don't know what you're supposed to do.

1583
01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:41,080
You rub it on your body in the shower?

1584
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:43,080
Oh, it's for shower time?

1585
01:05:43,080 --> 01:05:45,080
It is for shower time.

1586
01:05:45,080 --> 01:05:47,080
Living with an unusually small penis.

1587
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,080
The book.

1588
01:05:49,080 --> 01:05:51,080
We're going to set these up

1589
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:53,080
so everyone can know it's a penis.

1590
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,080
And not that last thing one more time?

1591
01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:57,080
Oh, oh.

1592
01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:59,080
Living with...sorry.

1593
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,080
Living with an unusually small penis.

1594
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,080
The book.

1595
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,080
You got that cut out, right?

1596
01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:07,080
No, I didn't.

1597
01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:09,080
How to tell her you're gay.

1598
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:11,080
How to help her understand

1599
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:13,080
and celebrate your new identity.

1600
01:06:13,080 --> 01:06:15,080
I would have no trouble

1601
01:06:15,080 --> 01:06:17,080
if we're being honest.

1602
01:06:17,080 --> 01:06:19,080
I'm not insane on these things.

1603
01:06:19,080 --> 01:06:21,080
If I invest the case...

1604
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:23,080
And I have body butter, so

1605
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:25,080
someone is crying at me

1606
01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:27,080
for a great time with someone else.

1607
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:29,080
I don't know if I brought that Barbie.

1608
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:31,080
We're just going to keep going.

1609
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,080
What's next on our list?

1610
01:06:33,080 --> 01:06:35,080
We're losing everybody. Let's just get through this thing.

1611
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:37,080
Hey, hey, I want one of your Barbies.

1612
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:39,080
Can she have a Barbie?

1613
01:06:39,080 --> 01:06:41,080
I want one of your Barbies.

1614
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:43,080
I'm going to my daughter.

1615
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,080
Can she have a dress one?

1616
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:47,080
Because he's proper.

1617
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:49,080
You want a star dog taking part?

1618
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:51,080
That's not a star dog.

1619
01:06:51,080 --> 01:06:53,080
My daughter needs a Barbie doll.

1620
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,080
Thank you.

1621
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:57,080
Alright.

1622
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,080
Hey guys, the movie is still playing in the background.

1623
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:01,080
And you know Chevy, don't even know him.

1624
01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,080
He lost interest about 10 seconds ago.

1625
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,080
It's horrible. You're not missing any of it.

1626
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,080
It's like a giant movie.

1627
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:09,080
It's like a giant movie.

1628
01:07:09,080 --> 01:07:17,080
So can we get your rating on this movie with our rating?

1629
01:07:17,080 --> 01:07:19,080
Oh, this is a...

1630
01:07:19,080 --> 01:07:21,080
Is it a W?

1631
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:25,080
This is a W.

1632
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,080
It's a waste of time.

1633
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:29,080
We're not even playing the game.

1634
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,080
Why?

1635
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:33,080
I'm surprised Top Hat survived.

1636
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,080
Exactly.

1637
01:07:35,080 --> 01:07:37,080
I didn't survive the 1800s.

1638
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:43,080
So somebody got me...

1639
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:45,080
It's a baby doll.

1640
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:49,080
And it's in custom packaging.

1641
01:07:49,080 --> 01:07:53,080
That says fried rice baby.

1642
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:57,080
Fried rice baby.

1643
01:07:57,080 --> 01:08:01,080
And it's a baby with a blindfold.

1644
01:08:01,080 --> 01:08:05,080
It's all in custom.

1645
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:09,080
At some point, who's the weirdo?

1646
01:08:09,080 --> 01:08:11,080
Is it the guy who made this shape?

1647
01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,080
Or is it the guy who's going to have to put it on display?

1648
01:08:13,080 --> 01:08:15,080
I don't know.

1649
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:17,080
It's fucking Bob.

1650
01:08:17,080 --> 01:08:21,080
It's probably you.

1651
01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:23,080
We'll tell you where later.

1652
01:08:23,080 --> 01:08:25,080
Right.

1653
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:27,080
Old baby.

1654
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,080
Bob, at least you got one.

1655
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:31,080
Baby son sitting on a bench.

1656
01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:33,080
Nice.

1657
01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:35,080
It's a wee podcast.

1658
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,080
Somebody brought a toy.

1659
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:39,080
Let's go.

1660
01:08:39,080 --> 01:08:41,080
No name on that one.

1661
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:43,080
I appreciate it.

1662
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:45,080
This one's for you.

1663
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:47,080
Hi.

1664
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,080
What's going on over there?

1665
01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,080
It's a live podcast.

1666
01:08:51,080 --> 01:08:53,080
I'm sorry.

1667
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:55,080
Top Hat's not crying.

1668
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:57,080
He's happy.

1669
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:59,080
You guys want to hear the rest?

1670
01:08:59,080 --> 01:09:01,080
Fuck, he's got a fucking...

1671
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:03,080
They just took the one.

1672
01:09:03,080 --> 01:09:05,080
It's better that way, bro.

1673
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,080
Fuck that Valerie.

1674
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:09,080
Actually, this is a perfect time.

1675
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,080
I'm going to open up more gifts.

1676
01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:13,080
This is great.

1677
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,080
You might need a little bit more attention.

1678
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:19,080
Ladies, this next part is going to be important.

1679
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:23,080
Before Bob left, he was writing...

1680
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:25,080
Austin.

1681
01:09:25,080 --> 01:09:27,080
You're part of our team.

1682
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,080
This next part is important.

1683
01:09:29,080 --> 01:09:37,080
Because Bob here, before he left, he used to do songs for us.

1684
01:09:37,080 --> 01:09:39,080
Or poems.

1685
01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,080
Or poems for us.

1686
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:43,080
He's got something prepped.

1687
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:45,080
I really want to hear it while I open up a couple of preps.

1688
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:47,080
Bob, you want to use the mic?

1689
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:51,080
I wrote this song as...

1690
01:09:51,080 --> 01:09:59,080
I wrote this song as a fine remembrance of our podcast.

1691
01:09:59,080 --> 01:10:03,080
We're ready to play.

1692
01:10:03,080 --> 01:10:05,080
Just a Bob could do a song.

1693
01:10:05,080 --> 01:10:07,080
I'm just giving it to Andrew.

1694
01:10:07,080 --> 01:10:09,080
We can't add a little vocal, bro.

1695
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:15,080
Under Arizona's skies, where an Andy's getting high.

1696
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:19,080
He yells at me every time that I smoke the bar.

1697
01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,080
Where's he going?

1698
01:10:21,080 --> 01:10:23,080
I wrote.

1699
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:25,080
It was like a poker ball.

1700
01:10:25,080 --> 01:10:31,080
I took the lighter home that you couldn't find.

1701
01:10:31,080 --> 01:10:37,080
So when I'm off, I thought that I'd forget the world.

1702
01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:43,080
Every time you yell at me, Andy, it hurts.

1703
01:10:43,080 --> 01:10:57,080
When the sun goes down and the podcast ends, I never even heard a word you said.

1704
01:10:57,080 --> 01:10:59,080
Andy's always right.

1705
01:10:59,080 --> 01:11:03,080
Ryan's picking fights.

1706
01:11:03,080 --> 01:11:09,080
And Zach and Gary row a row and round the floor.

1707
01:11:09,080 --> 01:11:21,080
Now Jesse wants to know and Austin wants to know why Mike is still pissed off and Sleepwalk killed.

1708
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:33,080
So when I'm all fucked up and I forget the words, every time you yell at me, Andy, it hurts.

1709
01:11:33,080 --> 01:11:47,080
When the sun goes down and the podcast ends, I never even heard a word you said.

1710
01:11:47,080 --> 01:12:03,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1711
01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:17,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1712
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:33,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1713
01:12:33,080 --> 01:12:47,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1714
01:12:47,080 --> 01:13:03,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1715
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:17,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1716
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:33,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1717
01:13:33,080 --> 01:13:47,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1718
01:13:47,080 --> 01:14:03,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1719
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:17,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1720
01:14:17,080 --> 01:14:33,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1721
01:14:33,080 --> 01:14:47,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1722
01:14:47,080 --> 01:15:03,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1723
01:15:03,080 --> 01:15:17,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1724
01:15:17,080 --> 01:15:33,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1725
01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:47,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1726
01:15:47,080 --> 01:16:03,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1727
01:16:03,080 --> 01:16:17,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1728
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:33,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1729
01:16:33,080 --> 01:16:47,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1730
01:16:47,080 --> 01:17:03,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1731
01:17:03,080 --> 01:17:17,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1732
01:17:17,080 --> 01:17:33,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1733
01:17:33,080 --> 01:17:47,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1734
01:17:47,080 --> 01:18:07,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1735
01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1736
01:18:21,080 --> 01:18:37,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1737
01:18:37,080 --> 01:18:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1738
01:18:51,080 --> 01:19:07,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1739
01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1740
01:19:21,080 --> 01:19:37,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1741
01:19:37,080 --> 01:19:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1742
01:19:51,080 --> 01:20:07,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1743
01:20:07,080 --> 01:20:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1744
01:20:21,080 --> 01:20:37,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1745
01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1746
01:20:51,080 --> 01:21:07,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1747
01:21:07,080 --> 01:21:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1748
01:21:21,080 --> 01:21:37,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1749
01:21:37,080 --> 01:21:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1750
01:21:51,080 --> 01:22:07,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1751
01:22:07,080 --> 01:22:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1752
01:22:21,080 --> 01:22:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1753
01:22:35,080 --> 01:22:41,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1754
01:22:41,080 --> 01:22:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1755
01:22:51,080 --> 01:23:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1756
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1757
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1758
01:23:35,080 --> 01:23:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1759
01:23:51,080 --> 01:24:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1760
01:24:05,080 --> 01:24:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1761
01:24:21,080 --> 01:24:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1762
01:24:35,080 --> 01:24:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1763
01:24:51,080 --> 01:25:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1764
01:25:05,080 --> 01:25:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1765
01:25:21,080 --> 01:25:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1766
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1767
01:25:51,080 --> 01:26:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1768
01:26:05,080 --> 01:26:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1769
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1770
01:26:35,080 --> 01:26:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1771
01:26:51,080 --> 01:27:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1772
01:27:05,080 --> 01:27:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1773
01:27:21,080 --> 01:27:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1774
01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1775
01:27:51,080 --> 01:28:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1776
01:28:05,080 --> 01:28:21,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1777
01:28:21,080 --> 01:28:35,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1778
01:28:35,080 --> 01:28:51,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1779
01:28:51,080 --> 01:29:05,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1780
01:29:05,080 --> 01:29:19,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1781
01:29:19,080 --> 01:29:39,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1782
01:29:39,080 --> 01:29:59,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1783
01:29:59,080 --> 01:30:19,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1784
01:30:19,080 --> 01:30:39,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1785
01:30:39,080 --> 01:30:59,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1786
01:30:59,080 --> 01:31:19,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1787
01:31:19,080 --> 01:31:39,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1788
01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:59,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1789
01:31:59,080 --> 01:32:19,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1790
01:32:19,080 --> 01:32:39,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1791
01:32:39,080 --> 01:32:59,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1792
01:32:59,080 --> 01:33:19,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1793
01:33:19,080 --> 01:33:39,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1794
01:33:39,080 --> 01:33:59,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1795
01:33:59,080 --> 01:34:19,080
I think that was negative towards me.

1796
01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:49,080
I think that was negative towards me.