That's a 10-4 good buddy.
And welcome to another rip roaring episode of Fried Rice Podcast.
I'm your pilot, your driver Andy Rice and this here is Fried Rice Podcast.
Let's get fried.
With me as always is of course Michael.
Lucky to be alive.
We tried to kick him out of a...
We fired a bullet through a window, caused just enough suction to get his ass stuck up
on it and then right before it was about to sandwich him into space, he somehow got out.
Is Michael lucky to be alive, Lawrisson?
That's because you can't kill me, motherfucker.
Oh yeah, and why is that?
Is it because you're wearing a Deadpool shirt?
I'm becoming Deadpool.
I'm going to pause real quick.
That was a planned bit from Michael by the way.
If you think here, and I'm going to let that shit...
I'm just kidding.
Anyway, and he took a space truck.
It's Austin.
He took a space truck about a galaxy and a half, took about four and a half hours.
He got his load here up on time.
It's a ferrel.
Check me out on Vine.
You're going to run out of fucking...
You're going to run out.
Yeah, you're going to run out.
Hello everybody, welcome to another episode of Fried Rice Podcast.
This was a...
I was going to say you kept the action.
I did.
I'm not going to.
No, no, no.
I will stop that now.
Man, what a fucking...
What a fucking week it's been.
It's been nuts.
I have a couple of things I'll get into, but how are you guys?
Oh dude, interesting.
I found a box of my grandpa Gary's old slide.
He passed away in 2012 right after high school, right before I moved out here.
I found a box of all of his old slides that you need a projector to look at.
They're all dated like 68 to the 70s, and they're all from when he was in the Navy traveling.
There's a box labeled Portugall.
There's a box Pompeii.
All the cool places he went to.
Have you looked at them?
I've looked through a few of them, and I found somebody online who can digitize the slides.
Hell yeah.
I'm paying her to put them all on a flash drive for me so I can actually look through
all of them on my big TV.
I didn't look at all of them, so I'm going to find out.
Hopefully it's all just nice pictures of jets and ships and Navy places.
Oh no, there's 100% lady boys on there.
Your grandpa was banging lady boys in one of those countries.
Show me a veteran lady boy.
He's like, yeah, in the war.
I'm going to find out if he was a good lady man.
What war was he?
Caitlyn Jenner?
That's not a lady boy.
That's a trans woman.
Lady boys?
Trans woman is the same.
Lady boys are the same.
You were in the military, right?
Yeah, but not there.
I was not over there.
You were invited to Bangkok, so that's why you don't know what a lady boy is.
I've never been to Bangkok.
No.
See, I'm not even saying lady boys are offensive.
I thought they were trans.
No, no, no.
They don't identify as women.
A lady boy is a... From what I can gather, it's male prostitutes who appear to be female.
They get breast implants and stuff, but for the express purpose for that kink, there are
people that want to have sex with boys that look like girls that have penises.
So you're saying other times they're like, I play football, just regular guys, and then
they go, just because of the kink, they do that.
I don't think they're playing football.
But whatever.
I'm saying they're just... They're being made as soccer?
They present as men otherwise?
No.
You're educated.
No, I don't think you can... This wasn't supposed to be an education about lady boys.
It's just a culture in these foreign... In some of these Asian countries, there are lady
boys.
You go to certain bars, you find them.
There's a trope in movies where you don't know if it's a boy or a girl when you're hooking
up with them.
They do it in the hangover movie, the third one, where they go to Bangkok.
It's an old trope, but no, I don't think it's the same.
Caitlyn Jenner is a man who transitioned into a woman, but not to be a prostitute or a stripper.
So specific to prostitutes.
I think so.
It would be like if a woman does a lesbian porn scene, I wouldn't necessarily assume
that she's lesbian.
To anyone who might be offended by this, this is not from a place of hatred out of our hearts.
We just don't fully know.
No, not at all.
But anyways, back to my dead grandfather's photo.
Yeah.
Come on, Mike.
It's not as if I brought it up.
I didn't look.
Michael.
I was going through them and I was just counting them all, and every now and then I would pick
one up and look through the light through it.
And it'd be like one of like some old race that he was an audience member of or like
a jet taking off or Pompeii ruins.
But I didn't look at all of them.
So I just dropped them off at this lady's house.
He's going to digitize them.
And I'm going to find out if he was either just a regular Navy guy or a serial killer.
Maybe.
Who knows?
Maybe he was in cahoots with Dahmer.
Who knows?
What?
Okay.
Was Dahmer in the Navy?
No.
Many wishes.
I guess that would be it'd be interesting because like maybe in his mind, he took these
pictures.
He's like, no one's going to see these but me.
So maybe he like he's got some weird stuff on there.
Maybe.
But but also, you know, the times.
A lot of them are like really nice pictures.
I've always had an affinity like an eye for photos, especially like old cameras like the
old Polaroid I have the old Kodak extra light 10 that I have.
And I was taking all these pictures and then I found these and I'm like, oh, it was rough
and I'm like, oh, it's cool.
That's cool.
That's I mean, yeah, that's awesome.
I hope I someone did that for my for my grandmother after she after she passed my I guess cousin
in law.
He digitized a bunch of old pictures and we and he presented it to us in like a slideshow.
It was very cool because we got to see my parent, my mom and her sister when they were
like little kids and like all the stuff, you know, that we did old like old pictures.
Right.
So it's like it was cool.
I had an interesting day the other night early.
An interesting night.
I there was an unfortunate accident that happened here where a somebody ran over a body like
somebody.
I guess somebody was was in the road laying down and the driver hit him like ran him over
and then that that guy, that body was later taken to the hospital and died.
So the only reason I'm bringing this up is because I was delivering that night for my
job and I was about probably less than a minute, maybe even 30 seconds after it happened in
the same lane behind the guy.
And so the guy gets out of his car and he starts waving me down and I hit my hazards
and there's other cars now.
So everyone's slowing down and stopping right.
But I see the body.
I see this guy holding his like his head and just going, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, like like
crying like having like a like a like a panic attack because he just ran over a body.
It was horrific.
So I know the guy wasn't dead when I saw him.
So technically I didn't see a dead body, but I did see an unmoving body of someone who
died very shortly after.
So I'm going to count it as having seen one.
Not that I'm trying to make a list of seeing dead bodies, but just for the fact that in
my brain it's like there's so many things that are going on.
If I had left my delivery 30 seconds earlier, right, that could have been me the same lane
and you could have known how that goes.
A lot of times somebody will stop and say a sentence to you when you're leaving and
you get held up 30 seconds and it would have been you.
And your customer is like, Hey man, you said 30 minutes of rest.
You know what just happened.
Yeah, well I will say this.
So the, well actually the truth of it all is, is that I stopped at my house to, well
for whatever reason, on the way or on the way off after my delivery, because the delivery
I had was in my neighborhood.
And so like, I was like, okay, there wasn't any deliveries on the board when I left.
So I have an extra five minutes I'm going to give myself.
So I stopped here and then I went.
Now here's the thing.
If I hadn't stopped at home, I would have been five minutes ahead and I don't know if
I would have probably been way ahead of this ever happening, right?
I would have seen this, but I then just chose when to leave.
And it was like a matter of 30 seconds of my own choosing of whether or not this could
have happened.
I would imagine.
Not to dismantle that, but that guy could have been just standing there holding his
head for like 30 fucking minutes.
Just like, Oh my God, Oh my God.
Now you're right.
That could have been the case.
He probably still was.
Well, except the only evidence is that this is a very busy road.
And even though it was 11 o'clock at night, it's still highway 95 and it's still very
busy like by the time I slowed down, there was already two or three other cars.
What was it?
What core?
It was thunderstruck and highway 95.
I know I played that.
I played that once.
It was just organically came on while I was driving.
I stopped at the light and I was like, I'm going to turn it up.
And I saw some high school kids walking by and I rolled up my windows because I was like,
that's so fucking lame.
And I turned it down.
I was like, that's, that's the lamest thing you could do at thunderstruck fucking road.
That guy's body got thunderstruck.
Oh, it definitely did.
He probably would have appreciated that joke.
I mean, he's a guy who goes and lays out in the road.
So I looked at on Facebook and they said that according to a woman who spent time with his
girlfriend at the hospital, this guy was not homeless.
So it was an article said he was homeless.
That's what I saw.
Yeah.
No, the article I read just said is transient.
Well, it said transient homeless.
Yeah.
Oh, I got accused of being a transient once.
You look like a transient.
We're not going by looks.
I was, no, I was walking home and I was like, I'm going to go to the hospital.
I was like, I'm going to go to the hospital.
I was walking home from work and a cop just stopped me and said, I need all your information
right now.
And I'd give him my ID.
He goes back to the car and he's like, all right, you're good.
I'm like, what was that all about?
He's like, oh, you just matched the description of a transient that stabbed somebody a few
minutes ago.
Oh shit.
He's like, oh, jeez, thanks, dude.
Well, that's all.
Wait, wait.
How did the ID help with that?
Like it's like, oh, this guy matches the, the, I guess did they run your ID?
They're like, oh, he's not a transient.
He has a home address.
I hope, I hope.
We're good to go.
I hope among other things, like, oh, this guy is employed.
He lives in a house, most transits don't have, have driver's licenses.
It's yeah.
Yeah.
Unless they live in their car.
I guess.
Well, it's got, I mean, I didn't, I, I know that bringing up a dead body isn't the best
way for a comedy show to get started.
I mean, it just, but it has been, I just, it's been sitting heavy with me because it's
just like one of those what ifs that's just been sitting with me and having like seen
the, because it's like, no matter what that guy who ran over that body is going to go,
he's going to go to court.
He's going to have to, he's going to have to go through so much shit over what probably
wasn't his fault or might've been because let's say he was checking his phone at the
time.
That was the one time he checked a text message and didn't see a lump of, he didn't see something
in the road.
Right.
Or maybe the guy jumped in front of the car.
We never know.
It happens a lot here.
Unfortunately, I had someone jump in front of my car.
I dodged it and the chick who did it, and I think it was supposed, I think she was trying
suicide by car because I was, it was on a road that like no one was going slow on and
she timed it almost perfectly where it was around a corner.
So it was a blind, it was like a blind turn and she then ran right out and then, but it
wasn't like as she was trying to cross the road.
She ran and turned to face my car.
And so then I, thankfully there wasn't anyone that lay next to me in the fast lane.
I dipped out and I didn't hit her.
And that saddened me.
I was like, what the fuck?
So like it happens.
People just, that's the worst way to fucking kill you.
Okay.
Well, let's not get into this.
Cause it might not work.
Right.
My dad had a close one like that.
They, you remember that big biker fight in Laughlin?
Oh yeah.
That big, people died and shit.
For the people.
Okay.
Yeah.
We had a big, there's a huge biker like gang.
No one knows about it.
Oh, okay.
It was pretty big.
Nationwide.
It's security camera footage of it everywhere.
Like about my, my dad was there the night before.
He was supposed to be there that night, but they ended up going the night before.
So the night after they left, it just chaos.
People died and shit.
My dad was going to be in New York for some reason.
Like for, I think he was visiting someone, but it was the week of 9-11 and he was, and
he was going to be there on 9-11, but then he, he just wanted to come home early.
Is your dad Seth Macarthur?
No.
That's exactly what I was asking.
Was that about to bring that up to Seth?
He left early too?
No, he changed planes.
He was supposed to be on one of those planes.
I thought he slept in.
I don't know.
Something like he was supposed to be on that plane.
Whatever, there's a reason though he didn't make his flight.
He was supposed to be on one of those planes.
I don't know if my dad would have been in any danger.
I don't think he had any plans to be in that area, but I have no idea.
It's just he came home and then, and then there was.
I, one of the more interesting things to like, you know, it's like one of those, my buddy
and I, when we went to, we went backpacking across Europe.
My buddy Sean and I, when we were 19 or 20 and, whatever, 2009, whatever that was.
So we, but when we get, we're on the plane, we land in Ireland and we're walking around
in every fucking place we go to.
Every restaurant, every bar, every club is just playing Michael Jackson, right?
It's just like Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson.
And we're there for about a week.
I don't know what is going on.
We're there for a week and we just leave Ireland going like, man, the Irish love Michael Jackson.
Just a takeaway that we wrote in our like our little notes and moved on.
Then we noticed in Scotland, they were playing a lot of Michael Jackson and then we found
out that he had died while we were on the plane.
And we just know what, but our flight was so long and we didn't have social media really
on.
So we were, cause we were trying to just, yeah, we literally, our phones didn't even
have service really.
We just went and explored the countries.
And so it took us probably a little over a week and a half to find out that he had died.
Up until that point though, we just thought, man, Michael Jackson's so popular even in
2000 and a fucking night when he hasn't come out with like a song and who knows how long,
but yeah.
So where did you go?
Where'd you get this?
Give us a little backstory.
So my mom was at this, she joined this book club.
I don't know where it was.
It was like, she said it was like a weed shopping center.
It was a picture of strip mall, but everything's weed themed.
It was like a weed restaurant.
Where is this?
Yeah.
Somewhere in Surprise.
Surprise.
She just said, oh, I'm going to my book club.
And I was like, okay, cool.
That means I can listen to music loud now.
And she comes back and she gives me that this comic book.
She's like, yeah, I met the guy who does this comic book and I got it signed by him.
So here you go.
You're welcome.
And I looked it up on Instagram and after reading the comic, I was like, oh cool.
Stoner comics.
And I was like, I was like, oh, this is probably like the one stoner comic that exists or something.
But apparently there's all different kinds.
And it's from this company, Cali Chronics Comics.
Yeah.
And it's called Indica Boy.
It's like this, he's wearing all purple and yellow and green.
He's got a big pot leaf on his chest.
He's got like a mass with pot leaves all over it.
You'll put a picture up on the gram of the cover or whatever they can.
Yeah.
The arts, the arts pretty cool in it.
I like it.
It's a comic book signed by Jeffrey Peterson.
Yeah.
I was looking through it.
I read it and the, some of the, so this is this he's from Phoenix.
This is Phoenix, Arizona.
Yeah.
Like this is where this takes place.
And I love it.
Phoenix, Arizona, Valley of the Sun, home of Indica Boy, super stoner, one of the most
many powerful heroes fueled by cannabis.
These unique individuals devote their lives to helping each other's in need.
Get it?
A friend in need is a friend with a weed here.
I'm assuming.
And then it's today's a Tuesday.
So yeah, I'm a, yeah, they are working.
I was looking, they got the desert in there.
Yeah.
So it's all very, so we're all out here in the desert.
Here's some of his friends just so that like, you have an idea of like how desert oriented
it is.
There's cactus man and he looks like an angry cactus.
I love it.
It looks like a man wearing a cactus suit, which is great.
Uh, Javelina, which is a thing out here.
I'm assuming Javelina.
Yeah.
Javelina.
Okay.
So there's a road runner, firebird and Wren.
Oh, I think that's one, I think that's one thing.
Road runner, firebird and Wren, I think is a, is the name of a character.
And then, uh, you have sun, then you have sunstroke.
Uh, that's fucked up.
I hope it's a sunstroke is that's fucked up.
This is the killer of old women everywhere.
Oh God.
Just go to any Walmart on a typical July or August out here and at almost any point
in time in the middle of an afternoon and you will find an old lady being tended to
by paramedics.
Uh, that was almost every day when I worked at the R bar is like this dive bar where it's
like always a bunch of old people and paramedics have been there like so many times while I
was working for some old guy.
It's just, yeah, such a, be careful.
The ER bar.
It's Arizona.
So a place like Arizona in the middle of the middle of the summer hydrate for one, just
keep drinking water.
What are you doing?
Just always be drinking water.
Every, every hit of weed, you have to drink a cup of water.
Yeah.
Well, not every hit that would be too much.
Would that be too much water?
No, no, your brain, your brain gets too wet and you die.
I don't know if that's, I thought it was like you, is that it?
Let's not for your brother.
Sort of.
That's kind of a simplified explanation.
I'm going to go get a 20 pack of Great Value water and drink 20 of them and see what happens.
Don't do that.
Don't ever do that.
Never.
You thought I was about to go drink 20 of fucking water.
There was a radio show where this lady was doing a drinking water, drinking water challenge
and she died.
Oh shit.
And it was so she could win her son an Xbox 360.
I'm almost willing to put this out.
I'm almost willing to put this out in the world.
I believe that I'm the only human being that can drink a gallon of milk straight without
puking.
Oh no, you cannot.
I'm pretty confident in myself too.
I think I could.
Oh, I'm bringing gallons to the show then.
No, I don't know if I want to do it at the live show.
In front of a bunch of people.
I might do it here on camera.
Oh, do a show, yeah record it.
And if you think you could do it too, we might just go, we just might go challenge.
A couple weeks from now, a couple three weeks before the challenge.
I'm not a, I'm the judge.
What were those things you smoked on the way the gun episode, the leaf.
Oh God, the leaf.
Oh my God.
Loser has to do three of those in a bell ringer.
Are you willing to put yourself up to this?
If I can sleep here, yes.
Oh man, that's an extra.
That's another punishment for me.
So I lose.
It's a lose lose for Andy.
I'd almost, you know what I'll do is I'll, we'll get to the last few sips.
I'll let you win and I'll finish it just to prove I can do it.
Leave this much in the bottle.
You can fuck off the whole like you normally would.
I'll be super high smoking leafers.
It's a win win.
That's a win win is if I lose that contest.
Anyway yeah, this is a, I mean yeah, this is an independent comic.
It's great.
It's got a bunch of weed puns.
It's got all the stuff.
The artwork's fun.
She's got a Mjolnir.
Mjolnir.
No one notice could say that.
Thor's hammer.
Thor's hammer yeah.
Meow meow.
I see the girl calls it in Thor.
The cute, whatever her name is.
She's a super, super baddie.
From Two Broke Girls.
What's her name?
Oh wait, Lady Sif?
No?
No, not Lady Sif.
Are we talking from Thor the movie?
Lady Sif.
Now if we're just gonna do a full 360 back to last week, Lady Sif was in Kyle XY.
That show that I brought up with the guy.
It's just she plays another no belly button person that they send to go after him.
But then they end up.
Wait, wait, wait.
Now who is they?
The company that makes these clones.
Okay, I haven't seen the show.
Look, again, if you're looking for some really early 2000s just.
That's by weird.
Fox family appropriate.
Like, yeah, it's Kyle XY.
That's where you go.
Anyway, he's got yeah, he's got a Thor's hammer type thing.
It's just a huge nug on the end of a stick.
Like it's pretty great.
I think one of the villains towards somewhere towards the end.
I think one of the villains is Cicada.
Oh yeah, no, it's it's yeah, it's right here.
I think that's funny because those Cicadas are those annoying.
That would be the villain to a stoner.
Yeah, it's the infuriated.
This infuriated Cicada.
He tried to be a superhero, but society rejected him.
His appearance was frightening to the public at large.
They hated him.
Well, anyway, oh, here's so.
Cali Chronics has a bunch of different weed comics and I'm looking at them.
They need to make their.
Wow, they need to work on their Cali Chronics.
If you're listening to this, I hope you are the page that you put on in the in the first
on the inside of the comic book.
It's too small a print.
I have great eyesight and I'm struggling here to read some of these.
How is like Mike?
This old son of a bitch over here.
He just sees a color.
A blur, like you need to put like a few pictures of the best covers and then underneath it
have just a cool list of all the names of all the different comics, because that's what
people want to see, because now I'm struggling.
But here I am.
I'm going to read the ones I can get to.
Alice in Bud land.
That's funny.
I would love to have read that clearly.
Cali Chronics comics.
But again, I want to read these.
So you're I mean like you're doing something good.
Just do it just do it better for us.
The consumer make it more user friendly.
We have blunt one.
That looks cool.
I like his design.
He's like a three colored person.
We have power of attorney.
That's cool.
I hope he fights weed related cases.
Puff the parrot.
That's yep.
And is he saying hi, but it's H I G H.
But that's how he says hi.
But I mean, that's great.
That's some for whoever wrote puff the parrot.
That cover alone, I think is as good of a pun as good to see visually as a visual pun
as the Roger Rabbit books.
When you if you ever read any of those, the like who plugged Roger Rabbit, that's a there's
some really good visual gags in there that you have to of course visualize.
But I think that's on par with there.
So whatever that means to you, good for you.
We have man something.
He learned me.
I'm looking over your shoulder.
I know the I'm thinking something healing Chronicles.
I don't think you have good eyes, but maybe with your glasses on your glasses because
they're just magnifiers.
They're just readers.
Oh wait.
Yeah.
Okay.
We have jam healing Chronicles.
We have higher education.
That's funny.
It's two professors.
We have Panda.
All right.
Highway 420 and it's an alien.
Oh, that sounds cool.
Highway 420 does that especially here.
And there's it has an alien.
Oh my God.
These glasses are going to blind me.
This is hurting my head.
Then we have heckler and it's a jester indica boy, which when we have a signed copy.
Also indica boy is a real guy.
Like he goes to events and he's like in full costume.
Is it him though?
The dude that wrote it that does it or did he hire a guy?
I think he got the Cali Chronicles to like make a comedy.
He could like put this all together for himself.
There's one called NP Armageddon and that is very clever.
And I don't know.
Like, I mean that, that deserves to be a way bigger picture.
That's on the bottom right hand corner of this whole thing.
All right.
Marketing wise, this is marketing stuff.
Oh my God.
This is hurting my head.
There's one more.
I just, I can't read it.
I'm so sorry.
Whoever that last one is.
And I'm going to be honest.
It's the only black character on the front cover is the one I can't read.
So I feel like that if you're good, if you have a copy of indica boy in front of you
and you look at the inside cover, you'd be like, why didn't you say the black guy's name?
God.
Here.
Do you need a light?
I want to read it now.
I know.
I just, I feel like this is, I didn't mean to, it just, it's so hard to read.
It's the hardest one.
It's, it's something of love.
Cancer cannabis of love.
Maybe can a boy of love can, because it looks like there's an R at the end.
All right.
This is going to kill me.
Let's, uh, here, hold on.
Let's do this.
Let's take a picture and zoom in.
Zoom in.
That's what we should have done in the first place.
But you can find all these comics on, uh, from Cali chronic comics with an X on Instagram.
As you say, or maybe they have a website where you can buy them.
And then look at other works by Jeffrey Peterson.
Oh my God.
That doesn't help.
Carpenter of love, canister of love.
Canister of love.
I think it's canister of love.
It's like those plastic canisters you have from the, or no, or canisters of Levi with
a heart.
No, that's gotta be real.
Let me see.
It's coming soon.
So we'll go, we'll revisit this in a future episode and be like, Hey, they released that
comic.
Oh, wait, no, I've got a different one.
It's gangster of love.
Gangster.
What?
Yeah, I got it.
I found a better one up here.
You just made it more racist.
No, you just made it more racist.
How dare you on black history month do that?
Mike, all I did was read the title of a, of the comic.
You're the one that then implied that because what, it's a black character, the word gangster
makes it more racist.
The only word gangster in all of those characters is the black guy.
Well, there's also actually an Asian woman it looks like next to him.
So the gang is multiracial.
So you fucking made it racist.
Oh, this one is a hemp father.
Oh, I didn't see that one.
Oh, Ja Healing Chronicles.
Ja Healing Chronicles.
J-A-H Healing Chronicles.
Okay, I think we got through this.
Was this riveting for everybody at home?
Did you enjoy this?
Cause that, oh, there's more.
There was Dan the man and.
Oh, there's a little trading card in here of Indica boy.
Oh, wait, is that a sticker?
Oh, is that a sticker?
I hope it's a sticker.
It's a sticker.
You get an Indica boy sticker.
It has him and like tells you what all his, all his gear does.
We'll find, we're going to find a place of honor for that.
I'm putting it on my thermos.
Okay.
My Stanley, my poor people Stanley code.
You didn't bring us copies of the comic?
No, there's one.
It's signed.
It's mine.
Oh, well then I guess we're going to have to go on to what's the website again?
Cali Chronic Comics on Instagram.
They probably have a website too.
Why didn't we just go there?
Yeah, we probably could have read all this on the site.
Yeah, Cali what?
Cali Cry?
Cali Chronic Comics with an, comics that has an X at the end.
Cali Chronic Comics.
Mainly for Indica boy because he's the one who hooked me up with a signed copy and a
dope sticker.
Yeah.
You should go there first as Indica boy.
And if they don't have a website, they should get one.
They get a website.
And blow up the pictures of those other comic books.
Yeah.
Anyway, great.
That was fun.
I got a question there that just a real quick question for you.
Actually for you, you could being from California, that's Arizona people.
There's all these, is it the same here when we go to the, when I go to the weed store
here, I'm one of the youngest people there.
What?
When I go to the weed store, you go to jars.
The average age of customers at jars has to be 60.
Well, we live in an area where the average age of people who live here are 60.
That's what I was asking is that here, but they all smoke weed here.
That's what's, is what I'm saying.
Everyone smokes.
I'm telling you, if weed is legal, if weed is legal, wherever, whatever states weed is
legal, everyone smoke a weed.
I don't think, I think it's like everyone wants to smoke weed.
Not everyone, everyone.
No, why don't you mean everyone?
But like once it becomes legal and there's no, and there's no reason why you can't just
go to the store and go buy some.
Like I think it opens up like, of course old people, they're the ones with the most pain.
They have the ones that have the most time to fucking kick it.
They have the most disposable income.
Some of them.
Sure.
So fucking yeah.
If I was in a good position in my late 60s, 70s or whatever, right?
I, well, look, look at me now.
I'm spent, I smoke all the time anyways.
Yeah.
This isn't going to stop.
This is just going to be.
Yeah.
So look at me.
That's what I was saying.
Cause I was, my attitude about it though, because I've been a weed smoker all my life,
but then my attitude is now when I'm, I think my 70th birthday, I'm going to do heroin for
the first time.
Okay.
That's a, all right.
Let's get into that.
It just seems to me.
I was about to get into the, what are we smoking section, but now we're going to get into the,
what hard drugs do you plan to abuse when you're an old man?
I just want to.
The section.
Heroin.
You're going to try it once.
Try it once.
That's a terrible idea.
Why?
I'm not going to shoot it up.
I'll smoke it.
I actually have a joke, a little gag that I wanted to do on stage next week where I'm
like, I was going to be like, why did the heroin add across the road?
Cause I just feel like this.
Like a sock.
Hey man.
Have you ever heard of fried rice podcast?
Fried rice podcast.
Yeah, man.
There are podcasts that reviews movies and a new one comes out every Saturday on YouTube.
They're sponsored by bell ringers.
Bell ringers.
Yeah.
Bell ringers.
It's a adapter for your bong or hookah and it holds three joints, three blunts, three
bowls or three dabs.
Three tabs.
Yeah, man.
Three dabs.
Check us out every Saturday on YouTube at fried rice podcast sponsored by bell ringers.
I know it just, Mike stops talking and then a bell ringer at place.
Yeah.
Maybe.
What's the?
What are we smoking?
Yeah.
What are we smoking?
Well, not much.
It looks like this week.
That's okay.
It's just you and I.
Not every week has to be an insane smorgasbord of weed.
I think here's the thing, guys.
We're filming this on the, or we're shooting, we're recording this on the ninth.
And the live show is next week.
It's next Friday.
So I think a lot of us right now, this is sort of like a preamble.
This is a-
We're planning.
We're getting ready for next week.
We hope it's going to be a huge, big extravaganza.
By the time this airs, it'll already be done.
So we won't be able to talk about what happened until, well, I mean, until you listen to the
episode.
You might hear an ad for it in the pre-roll of this video, or this podcast.
No, not this one because this one's going to air after it already comes out.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
So anyway, that's some stupid whatever.
I forgot how time works.
Yeah, exactly.
We don't understand time.
The one guy who doesn't smoke forgot how time works.
We're smoking a Baby Jeter right now.
What was in the-
Peaches.
What was the bottle?
Oh, that's-
How many come in a jar, those?
The same this in the jar?
Five.
You get five Baby Jeters.
Because not going to lie, I went to your bathroom to take just the gnarliest diarrhea
shit and I get up to wipe my ass.
Oh.
And I turn around and next to your giant Mandalorian statue, there is just dozens of Baby Jeter
jars.
Yeah.
Five in a jar.
First off, I have a bidet.
Why would you wipe your ass?
I'm not using that bidet.
Is it warm water?
Well, no.
No.
Then I'm not using it.
Oh.
You're going to be bougie about the bidet?
It's bougie bidet.
Wow.
Have you ever used one?
Yeah, once and I did not like it because it was cold water.
That you get used to.
In fact, I'll tell you, when it gets hot enough outside, you learn to appreciate the cold
water days because those pipes get on 110 degree day here, you know how unbearable it
becomes?
You prefer cold.
Every time over too hot to handle.
Andy, my butthole does not need to get used to anything besides shitting.
Okay?
That's it.
Shitting and getting wiped.
That's it.
I don't need my butthole getting used to anything.
That's a gateway.
Listen, you'll always be my friend, but you disgust me that you don't use a bidet.
Anyone who doesn't, I just imagine is walking around.
I just imagine every person is walking around with a little bit of shit in their ass and
I'm just like, oh God, this is gross.
We live in a world where there's just a little bit of shit in everyone's ass.
So I was going to share this.
I'm going to sit on every chair in your house.
Every other side of me is sitting somewhere different.
I was going to share this.
By the time this already airs, I've already done this on stage.
So I can share this in the pod.
But a friend of mine recently told me, because we were talking like we were going nostalgic,
and she tells me that she's like, well, I used to wear a full blown Britney Spears fedora
when I was in fifth grade.
I unironically wore it every single day and I was like, wow, that's bad.
Then it became like a topping each other off kind of thing.
She's like, with that I would wear suspenders because I thought that it was really cool
and I was like, oh, okay, cool, cool, cool.
Then she's like, but then every day at recess I would laugh so hard during tag that I would
piss my pants and I would do nothing about it and I would sit for the rest of the day
in my own urine.
At that point I couldn't win.
I couldn't win the battle.
If you did, you would never admit to winning the battle.
So I had to stop there and think about that answer for a minute.
I laughed my ass off because I was like, this is one of the most just brazen admittance
of just like who would just not do that?
First off, if you knew you were going to pee your pants laughing so hard, then have an
exit strategy towards a bathroom.
At the very least.
Can't do it?
Fine.
Here's the second thing.
If tag makes you laugh so hard that you piss yourself every day, stop playing tag.
Maybe find something that doesn't make you laugh as hard.
Even if that, so then you're like, no, tag is life, right?
I can't not do that.
I'm like, fine.
Go pee before you go outside.
But you're going to piss yourself.
You can pee before going to recess.
That's a great idea, Mike.
You can pee before tag or wear a diaper maybe.
Or if you're going to pee your pants, have backup underwear.
I don't know.
But so many things about that.
It wasn't only once.
So yeah.
No, she said every day for fifth grade.
And I'm like, nobody said anything.
Their friends never once said, hey, you have a wet pants and you smell like that.
It's every day after recess.
What's going on?
The fedora and the suspenders probably like kept them.
They're like, okay, that's three things.
I'm not approaching this person.
If they didn't have those two things, we can help this poor girl out.
But she's fucking weird with the fedora and the suspenders.
So they started thinking.
Now I could maybe, I don't know if I could top that.
I don't know if I could top that.
Don't tell us if you can.
Do not tell us if you can.
I had to walk a mile after shitting my pants.
Let's go there.
I was on that carnivore diet.
And when you do that, it gives you like hella diarrhea.
Like in the start.
And then I'm at this bar after a show that we did with Mojave Comedy.
And my friend's there.
We're drinking.
She wants to go on a walk.
And so I walk with her.
We're walking down the channel in Havasu.
And something's brewing.
And eventually I'm like fighting this battle while talking to her pretending to care.
And she's telling me all these things that her boyfriend that she broke up with was doing
that he was like gay, cheating on her with dudes and all this shit.
And I'm like having to poop.
And that's an interesting story to walk away from.
Eventually, I lose the battle.
And usually there's like a porta potty on the channel I could go use.
But it wasn't there tonight.
They just knew I was walking there and had the shit.
So they took it out of there.
And then she almost asked to go on another lap.
But then I just eventually I walked her to her car and she drove off.
She was none the wiser until I told that joke on stage.
Was she there?
It was at Jeremy's Duke Joint where she worked at the time.
Then she rethinks that whole night she's like oh he didn't dislike me.
He just had to shit his pants.
Yeah, he had shit in his butt.
And he probably didn't really like it.
Just churning it, just churning it in my pants.
This is why I keep paper towels in my car at all times because that's happened to me
driving.
You're in the car and you just have an urge and you can't go anywhere.
We literally pull on the side of the road.
The first time it happened to me 10 years ago, nothing with me.
I would have helped me in my car.
It would have helped me if it was in my back pocket or better in my underwear.
But I'm saying that's the thing.
You can't wipe your ass after.
We need to invent a portable potty.
Super portable potty.
That has a built in bedette.
So think about this for just a moment.
Just a water bottle, a squeeze water bottle.
You mean a colostomy bag?
Yeah, a bag.
Sort of.
In a way.
I know this is gross and I hate to go here.
I don't really want to do these gross things.
I guess it's going to be gross for a minute here.
Wait, is this from you or the AI?
No, this is me.
You said it made of stupid inventions.
Well, no, I have that.
I've been asking.
Stupid inventions after shit like this?
What was the pea thing?
Oh, yeah.
Well, okay.
This could fall in line with the tube thing.
Yeah, what did I call that?
We called it the Her Peas collection.
Yeah, the Her Peas collection.
This would be the He Poos collection.
Oh, this would be the He Poos collection.
Yeah, yeah.
What story gave you those original inventions?
I don't know, but I know that this invention, what I'm thinking is, it's something that
you open up like a basket.
You suck it around your ass, right?
You go full steam.
You just shit in this bag, and then there has to be... Wait, no.
Shit in a bag.
Hold on.
No, no, no, no.
Shitinabag.com.
I see myself walking with that girl and just...
Shitinabag.com.
It would be shit in a bag, and you're walking with this girl.
You're like, excuse me, excuse me one second.
One moment.
It's really sad about your boyfriend and the dildos and everything.
Hold on one second.
Yeah.
Just shit in a bag.
And then you turn to me.
I'm buying it right now.
It's shitinabag.com.
I'm going to find out.
I'm buying that fucking right now.
Okay.
I didn't think this through.
I just finished a whole baby jr. pretty much by myself because Mike's being a little bitch
today.
Okay, so no.
Hold on.
Shit wherever you're going to shit.
But a portable bidet, I think we have something going on.
So Sand Concept, it goes around your ass, but then yeah, it just shoots water, but it's
also a self-contained little system, right?
So it's pouring on... I don't know.
You pour water from the sink.
There's going to be a tube.
No.
If I walk into a public restroom and see a guy filling up a bidet in the sink, they're
going to be so...
You know what?
This doesn't work for my invention.
My other ones though, actually did, are kind of good.
Like the herinol is pretty good, which is just basically it's a suction cup on a wall
attached to a tube.
It's pasted by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So don't steal that from me.
It's for women.
If they want to have a quick little pee and they're wearing a skirt or something.
God, this got uncomfortable.
Let me tell you, because I've been real nostalgic lately, I thought about... there's this... okay,
when I was younger, there's this two mile road that was behind a private school and
it was really, really steep.
What are you looking at?
ShibdaBag.com.
You can do that later.
I'm going to buy it live here.
Okay.
Mike's buying a website live.
He's buying shitinabag.com where we will have bags you can buy to shit in.
Hey, you better not use our fried rice bag technology.
Jesus.
But yeah, there's this two mile road.
So we all take our...
Well, somebody already bought it.
Okay.
I'm glad.
Let's see.
What do they have?
What's on that side?
They haven't built it yet.
Oh.
That's just... yeah, someone else is like, yeah, that's a fun... that's a fun... that's
a fun idea.
Okay.
I'll give you the next Twitter.
Yeah.
Twitter is shit in the bag.
So am I.
That's why I had to say no to the end of that yeeter.
Sure.
But what we're smoking, which is where this all started...
Well, yeah, but I was... okay.
You never got to me.
Yeah, yeah, but I was going to finish this little... this cute little story about my
nostalgia.
I'm in the mood.
Don't ruin my vibe.
I'm going to be paranoid for a second.
Keep going.
No, no, no.
It's just my name.
Don't worry about it.
Okay.
I'm just hanging outside.
So do I.
That's okay.
That's not going to be my car.
No, that's fine.
He's banging his head on the wall over here.
No, no, no.
He can hear you, probably.
Okay.
No, he's probably just tinkering with his car.
What's he going to do?
Punch me?
I don't know.
He's my neighbor.
I'm trying not to start a war here.
Is he going to not bring your trash... he's going to actually put them out when it's not
trash day?
Okay, guys.
Hey, guys.
Hey, you get to both leave in an hour or so.
I live here, so maybe just fucking...
Actually, I talked to him outside.
He seems like a really nice guy.
Okay.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
Okay, so I hate everything about this.
Okay, so... I'm losing my... I'm not even... Fine, yeah, what are we smoking?
We're smoking Stardust.
It's an Indica grade.
It's 35%.
Perfect.
Let's talk about the movie.
Space Truckers.
45 minutes in.
Yeah, fuck it.
Now I've lost my shit.
Yeah, let's talk about Space Truckers.
Woo.
When did this come out?
Who gives a shit?
When were you watching?
I wish I was high like I am now.
Oh, 1996.
1996.
Which is when I would have enjoyed it is when it came out because I was two years old.
1996, Space Truckers.
Well, you were... Yeah, you're a young boy.
Okay, so this was literally everything I thought it was going to be, but more.
Well, didn't we say the AI did the picture that you used?
You're going to... It'll be on this episode's background.
Oh, yeah, I did say that.
So if you look at the background episode on this, that was a first take before I'd even
watched this movie.
I just typed in a trucker in space with the typical with our logo in there, and it gave
me exactly what this movie fucking is.
So the background is exactly...
This movie is trucking in space.
This is convoy in space mixed with I guess pirates and... You know what?
It's pirates.
Robots.
Robots, assassins.
There's a little bit of everything for everyone to enjoy.
So what did you call them?
Lot lizards?
Lot lizards, yeah.
Yeah.
Lot lizards.
Which are prostitutes specifically for truckers.
They hang out at truck stops.
I don't know specifically.
I think if you're a regular Joe Schmoe, if you had the right car or place to get a lot
lizard, keep it as an option.
I think in the prostitution world, you go to a fancy restaurant to go pick up a regular
hooker, and then you go to lot lizards, that's like McDonald's.
Got it.
Which hey, McDonald's is delicious sometimes when you're hungry.
That wasn't even a metaphor.
I think that's just I'm a little hungry.
I didn't eat before this.
So we were talking about McDonald's.
Okay, so let's start this thing out.
First off, this movie is ridiculous.
There's no way around it.
This is a silly movie.
It's just but that being said, I kind of low key loved it.
And because it's okay.
So it stars Dennis Hopper.
It's got Dennis Hopper.
It's got Stephen Dorff.
And it's got who's the other chick?
Dennis fucking Hopper.
That was Dennis Hopper.
Debbie was, you talking about Cindy?
Debbie Mazer.
Yeah, Debbie Mazer.
Debbie Mazer.
Oh, the girl?
Yeah, those are the three of them.
Vicky Valencourt you mean?
Was that Vicky Valencourt?
No, that wasn't Vicky Valencourt.
That's Vicky Valencourt.
No, you're actually mixing them up.
It's not.
Is there a twin sister?
No, no, no, no, but they-
Vicky Valencourt?
No, you're thinking of-
Waterboy.
It has to be her.
No, no, no.
No, I, but I see the-
Or, okay, then who's the-
You're thinking of Farooza Balk.
Who's the girl in-
Farooza Balk and-
American History Act.
She's the girl that he's banging with.
Debbie Mazer.
Mazer, Mazer.
She's from Twin Peaks.
I do not know how you pronounce it.
Right?
She's in Twin Peaks, right?
Or am I mixing up?
No, God.
Okay, so here, look, she's not in Twin Peaks,
but she looks just like-
So there's three of them.
Sherrilyn Fenn.
Yeah, there's three of them.
Yeah, so-
There's three of them.
So you get Sherrilyn Fenn, you get Debbie Mazer,
and you get Farooza Balk all walking-
All in one.
All walking to a bar, and they order-
They're threesome.
I want to add those three put together
and see if it's the perfect woman.
It's like just-
Yeah, hey, listen, for all three of you women,
very hot, just like three bags from across different times,
you know, whatever.
But yeah, no, they are different women.
But yeah, so it's got her-
Sorry, it's got Debbie Mazer from, I guess,
this is one of her most well-known movies,
but this isn't what I know her from.
She's a friend of Madonna's?
I don't know.
That's not how I know her.
No, she must be a-
Look, how many Madonna videos has she been in?
At least one.
Entourage?
Oh, yes, that's where I know her from.
Yeah, the publicist.
Yep, she's the publicist.
Anytime I can mention entourage,
which seems like every week,
that and Kyle X Y, if you haven't started watching those.
I like that accent she has, but I also don't like it.
Like, it's kind of hot, but it's also like a dude is talking to you,
like, oh yeah, hotter.
I'll tell you this.
Let's kind of start with the fry voice, that whole fry.
This is going to be, spoiler, a little bit for the end,
if you haven't already watched Space Tuckers, which you should have.
I think you should typically,
this is a PSA just for general fried rice listings,
if this is your first fried rice or your 10th or your 35th,
you know, watch the movie before we get into it,
because we don't necessarily review it.
I feel like we should even stop using that word.
I feel like we get high, we just talk about a movie.
I don't know if that's even-
It's kind of is a review, because we've seen it and everything.
We put it all together.
All right, yeah, but we're not like authorities on anything.
No, we're not.
We're not doing actual-
This particular dynamic of Friends and Stoners,
we watched this movie and we all talked about it.
It's what we liked about it.
It's a review, but we're not fucking Movie Gallery
or fucking Cinemassacre or anything like that.
We're not Roger Ebert or you know-
We tell you if you want to watch this high or not.
Right.
Exactly.
And you know what?
This is definitely worth watching high.
But okay, but she's well known for, in Entourage,
she plays one of the agents or publicist chicks.
She's great in that.
She's in Goodfellas.
I remember her from that.
I think she's a prostitute in Money for Nothing,
if I remember that correctly.
And she's that big girlfriend thing.
And of course, Meet Wally Sparks, that Rodney Dangerfield movie.
Was she in Loveless?
L.A. Law?
No, she wasn't in Loveless.
That was-
Oh yeah, Amanda Seyfried.
Amanda Seyfried, yeah.
Oh yeah.
Okay, this is just a pervy episode.
I don't want to- come on.
Let's not just talk about-
She's hot.
All right, let's move on.
Okay, so-
Your point about her was-
The- no, nothing.
She's in the movie.
That was the whole point.
We just got carried away.
So this movie is literally, when it says Space Truckers, it is exactly that.
It is a big rig.
It's a big rig like your standard fucking- what's a company that makes big rigs?
Peterbilt.
Peterbilt, yeah.
Peterbilt.
Here we go.
Peterbilt 389.
Yeah, there we go.
Peterbilt 389.
It's a Peterbilt 389.
Oh, is it really?
I didn't- well, you really looked-
No, I didn't.
I'm just guessing.
This is just- this is the iconic, is what I'm saying.
That's what you're saying it is.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Looks like it, yeah.
It's a Peterbilt 389 just flying through fucking space.
But what makes it kind of cool is because of how space works, which is one of the few
things, the few times when I say how space works that it actually works correctly, sort
of, in this movie.
In a movie, right.
Oh, God.
You know what?
This isn't even tough to say right now, but like it's a long, super long, almost freight
train style tube that hangs off the back of it because it doesn't need wheels and there's
no friction.
So it can go like a snake through space, which I kind of like the concept of.
That being said, I wrote this down later, just if we're going to go off of the space
mechanics in this space truckers movie.
If for a space movie, I've never seen a movie care less about the physics of space in my
fucking life.
You will never know if they're in zero gravity or not until somebody gets punched and then
fully wires.
You could see the wires a hundred percent.
Could you see the wires?
Oh, somebody off the wires.
So many times.
And almost, almost every single time, almost every single time somebody flies through the
air, you can see the fucking thick black wires pulling them through.
But you'll never know that they're in zero G. There's a moment where everyone's just
kind of walking around, just hanging out, sitting down, enjoying their food, blah, blah,
blah, punches a guy and the guy flies through fucking space or whatever.
Oh, God.
They don't get the airlocks right either.
Like every door that closes and they go through an airlock, you can just see right through
the cracks of the door.
I would love to know the budget of this movie.
I have no idea.
Oh, we can't be.
It's got to be.
They got Dennis Hopper, man.
I know.
They had to spend it on Cass.
That's what I'm saying, man.
They got fucking Dennis Hopper.
Dennis Hopper somehow.
Who was just fucking, he's supposed to be a great actor, right?
He's so good at this.
Not in this.
No, are you kidding?
Dude, he sounds like he's just, he's out of table read doing it.
But that's because it's on purpose.
This movie's made like that.
It's not a 25 million.
They made, yeah, they made one point.
They made one point six.
The director was making as an homage to B movie.
So it's, it's what it is.
It's supposed to be.
Nope.
I'm not buying it.
I know.
I never ever buy it when a director makes a shitty movie.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, because Dennis Hopper would not sign up to do a B movie.
He would not do that.
Dennis Hopper would not be like, Oh, you're doing an homage to B horror movies.
Let me sign up to do a shitty movie.
That's going to make no money whatsoever.
Just as somebody who was actually there in 19, when this movie was made, I was alive,
but go ahead.
Okay.
Who was an adult when this movie was made.
It's Dennis Hopper was not that famous at the time.
He's gotten more famous over time.
That he was famous, but he was looking at his own movie.
I'm going to look him up.
The movie's from that time.
I'm going to look him up.
Look at the stuff.
I'm going to look at Dennis Hopper.
Why is he not popping up?
He's down there.
Go down.
Oh yeah.
He doesn't want to be associated with this shit.
No, up, see?
On the right hand side.
He wants to be buried.
That's what his part was.
No, he's the main guy.
He can't be underneath building commander, Olin Flawali, who's you've never been in.
You think he gets the choice of where he's listed in the cast back then?
Yes.
So he knew what he was making.
He was a featured guy.
He was Dennis Hopper in this fucking movie.
I think anytime a director makes a piece of shit movie and then says, oh, this is an homage
to B movies.
Let's go back to the time though when he was in there.
You're there.
You're in there.
All right.
So he had done Super Mario Brothers, which was a bomb.
I get that.
Yeah, he did Waterworld.
He did Waterworld, which is another bomb.
Which was a horrible bomb.
He was a wonderful movie.
But then he was in Basquiat, or however you say that.
But that's an Oscar-winning movie, I think.
I want you to take all of those movies together and do the box office and you'll see what
I'm talking about.
It's a box office problem.
Okay.
I'm not saying that he didn't sign up to do Space Truckers for whatever financial reasons
he had to do Space Truckers.
And The Last Days of Frank of the Fly.
But there's no, but you started us off saying, saying like, well, it was an homage to B movies.
Like that's an excuse.
No, this, there's no excuse.
What a director makes, when you get $25 million, you can do.
Not enough money to do what you're.
1996, $25 million.
You could do a lot.
Kevin, we found out that indie movies can do so much with.
Just click on Waterworld's budget.
Go to Waterworld.
It was on the same page.
Oh, you're not there anymore.
I see you just click on Waterworld.
Tell me it's budget.
And I loved this movie.
Yeah, I understand.
But I'm not going to let the director get away with saying that it was an homage to
Dick.
Like, this was, this was a fucking, you could have done better.
There's so many, you could have gotten the wires out of those frame shots.
You could have done better choreography for the fights.
You could have done better space physics.
You could have paid a bit more attention to fucking science class.
You could have done, no, no, no, none of that is a director going, a director going, oh,
it was an homage to B movies.
That's why I decided to make it bad.
You can see the wires.
It's all inside Joe.
Such a cop out.
Dennis actor, Dennis Hopper, bad acting in this movie.
And I don't want to hear, oh, he did that on purpose.
Or, oh, it's, you know, it's the thing in the fucking movie.
He did right thing.
Here's the thing.
I liked his acting in this, but now I agree with you.
It's over the top.
It's cheesy.
It's hammy.
And I think he was giving it his all and it's bad, but it works so well in this fucking
bad movie that I genuinely loved watching that like every time I saw him, because here's
the thing.
Here's the Dennis Hopper character fully.
And I absolutely love his character because he has no arc whatsoever.
He's a sorta good guy when it starts.
He's a sorta good guy when it ends.
And it's great.
Like he, you meet him at first and he's like, oh, I love you, babe.
You're going to marry me if I take it earth.
He makes it.
He makes a contract with her, right?
Which is kind of a shitty thing to do.
He sees that she's vibing with Stephen Dorff and he like gets up in there and he's like
kind of a creepy old man vibes.
But then he totally saves, you know, saves the day sort of, you know, gets him out of
there.
And he is totally appeasing to everybody.
Every time he meets anybody, he's like, all right, yeah, it's fine.
It's cool.
We got this.
No worries.
Like we're not a threat.
I love him.
He's not an action hero.
He's just a guy trying to just get through his day, trying to do his job.
He's the hero and Debbie Mazor plays the villain in this.
Oh, here we go.
Way of the fucking gun.
Here we go.
What do you mean, Debbie Mazor?
Again, I would say a victim in all of this was the villain.
Fucking oh.
So the start, just the start alone, I was like, what am I fucking in for?
Maybe we should have chose Covenant.
Yes, I will say.
Or Forbidden Planet.
I almost don't want to watch Forbidden Planet anymore now just because this movie tries so
hard to be Spaceballs and it can't.
Oh, you're thinking Spaceball vibes.
See, I know not bad.
No, they want to be Spaceballs so bad, but they can't.
Okay, I have to disagree with that.
I agree with that.
That's my point.
I was making that's what they were trying to do.
Okay, this is where I disagree with you guys.
I think the director and crew got together and tried to genuinely make a fun convoy style
space movie with not a spoof of anything together and not call it a spoof.
You can't say what's convoy and really you can't say space opera and get started.
You can't say Star Wars.
You can't say space western and get firefly.
You can't say space convoy and get space truckers.
All I'm saying is you can put space in front of any subcategory of the genre and get yourself
a relatively cool space movie.
You put space.
Space water.
I think yeah.
Space water, absolutely, is that amazing scene in Interstellar.
Have you seen it?
Real cool.
That's space water.
It's a whole 20 minutes of the movie and you lose it.
It's very important.
In fact, you could say space water is the whole reason a lot of the conflict of Interstellar
happens.
There's a lot of weird wordage in this too.
Right when it starts, you're slipstreaming into Darth Vader's castle where there's starship
troopers fighting off this robot.
There's a guy on the intercom that says sector perimeter, which I mean, was there anyone
in your command named Lieutenant General or fucking anything like that?
It's just two terms.
This is the future.
I love it.
And then the robot slaps words together, right?
The robot comes out and he has a fucking straight up Iron Man laser.
Wait, what was the beginning?
You know what?
Here's the thing.
The robot's breaking in.
I'm going to be honest.
Last night I tried, I started this movie and the beginning I was falling asleep during
and I woke up and I see, now am I wrong that that's John Hurt?
That's not John Hurt.
No, that's not John Hurt.
Who is that?
Richard.
Who's the, who played the villain?
Who played?
Oh, the villain, I got it.
Hang on.
He's very famous.
Mr. Sags.
It's Charles Dance.
Charles Dance.
There we go.
So Charles Dance, just side note.
Wait, wait, wait.
To play, to play Sags?
No, not Sags.
No, like the guy with the burnt off side.
So Charles Dance is such a beloved British actor.
Like, I mean, like he's a BAFTA award winning, like super, like he's one of those Shakespearean
trained fucking like he's been on, he's been on like classically trained theater.
He's so well respected, especially over in Britain that during their pub, during like
one of their quiz shows called Big Fat Quiz of the Year, which by the way, again, side
note, side note, side note, I'm so sorry.
But if you are a Anglophile, which I think is the right word for people who like British
culture, if you're someone who enjoys that kind of stuff and you like Jimmy Carr, he
hosts something called Big Fat Quiz of the Year, which there's so many on YouTube and
they're a few hours long a piece that just type that into YouTube.
They're freely available.
It's so much fun.
It's just a panel of comedians that you might recognize even from stuff over here like Richard
Ayoade and then a few other people.
Martin Freeman, I think, has been on an episode or two.
It's so fucking good.
It's so funny.
They cover like the year's events.
It's just sort of a popcorn of like trivia and it's a lot of fun.
I love it so much.
So backing up, why did I so backing up to the villain?
Oh, during Big Fat Quiz of the Year, they have a segment where you have to guess the
autobiography of a famous celebrity that came out that year and they have Charles Dance
read a passage from it.
And typically what they'll pick is like a girl that was on their British version of
like a Jersey Shore.
So it's like some like if the situation came out with a thing and with an autobiography
and he was talking about a night where he was doing jelly shots off of like some stripper's
asshole or something, they'll get Richard Dance to read that particular page.
And it's very funny because he typically wouldn't degrade himself like that.
Or so I fucking thought.
I'm just kidding.
But seriously though, this is a pretty degrading role for Richard Dance.
Not Richard Dance, Charles Dance.
This is a movie for people that watch NASCAR.
As soon as I saw the beer floating through space, I'm like, oh yeah, this is NASCAR.
Fucking get your nachos and your Mountain Dew.
And you can sit around with your family and watch this.
Mr. Sags, the guy who plays Mr. Sags is just in this movie for a sag check.
The acting is just ugh.
You think so?
Even at the end?
The only good actor was that one villain, the Nazi pirate rapist Gimp.
Oh, you think, yeah, okay, Charles Dance.
The beloved BAFTA award winning British actor.
Yeah.
He's classically trained.
Super famous actor.
Oh yeah.
He's known for being the controller in Superman 2, which I actually do think he's well known
for.
I think it's that flight controller guy.
He's the older Gotham water board technician.
Ooh, God, is he not well known?
No.
No, he is.
I recognize his face, right?
Sort of?
No?
Do we?
Is he somebody?
No.
Did he do anything?
What's going on?
He was in Love Lord?
What the fuck is Love Lord?
Come on, come on, he's been in something.
Did he die?
Is he alive?
He died in 2019?
He was in what?
He was in Batman.
He's just a face.
Yeah, just a face.
He was in Roll Ball.
Yeah, the spy who loved me.
There he goes.
He's Commander Carter, if you ever watched the spy who loved me, which of course it's
James Bond.
It's the Roger Moore one.
So maybe that's why no one recognizes him.
Good line.
Oh yeah, I also called this movie The Room in Space.
The Room in Space.
Okay, that's not fair, I don't think.
I don't think that's entirely fair because The Room was so poorly acted.
Okay, so other than of course the atrocious special effects and the atrocious-
Actually the CGI wasn't that bad for its time.
For the time.
Okay, I am forgetting-
For the time.
And the practical miniatures effects?
It's 1996.
It's just, yeah.
So the practical, the special effects for the time were good.
I get it.
But they're still shitty to watch now.
But the practical effects, which by 1996 we figured out how to hide wires in movies.
That's just money.
That was just some bullshit.
So shame on them for that.
Now kind of the crux of this movie is you have Dennis Hopper's character as a big rigged
trucker in space.
And what he has on board are square pigs, which I think is the most-
This movie predicted the future in a way that I think is going to actually exist.
Because right now, of course, when you look at the way we treat pigs, cows, chickens across
like the way that they're raised, quote unquote, where they're just put in stacked on, stacked
on cages and fed until they're too fat to fucking walk around.
I mean, it's horrific.
I love nuggets too, like chicken nuggets.
Don't get me wrong.
It's tough to back away from that kind of culture.
But the way we treat animals is horrific.
This is the next step of that.
This is we're literally just going to breed pigs so that they can fit into boxes.
So we're going to make square pigs.
So it's easier to put square pigs and shove them in cages than it would be to create circular
cages, I guess, maybe just for stacking reasons.
And then they feed them up as fat as possible.
We literally would just faces with just fat, gelatinous bodies behind them, which is gross.
But I also think 100 percent if we're when we're space there, when we are a space faring
people, it's going to be that bad.
No, it's not.
I think they're already cloning me and they're not making brains and it's just me.
There's no, there's no people.
I'm not going to point fingers, but probably nationalist Christian people are going to
start fighting the whole cloned meat thing because they're going to be like, that's not
what God wants us to eat.
He didn't put anywhere in the Bible.
He wants me to make a big square.
Exactly.
So I don't know.
They win everything.
And Lewis CK has a good bit about that.
Like Christians are the main one.
And the Lord goes like, why?
He's like, let me tell you why.
What year is it?
Yeah.
Oh, that's yeah.
What year is it?
But if that ever came up in our future, it's like, look, you can either have no abortion
or no cloned meat.
You fucking pick one.
Yeah.
Well, shit, I would rather actually not have them.
Let's not get into that.
So I put, I put, yeah, the pigs are all are the most realistic part.
That's basically doing that anyway.
I actually, okay.
So I love the costumes.
I love the set design and the way I love that the diner is a circular track kind of thing
that you get from those like, from the futuristic movies, like the, you know, talk about where
it's like, it's a ring.
So it's like a ring system.
But the way they must've shot that, I was just thinking is like crazy because there
are scenes where Dennis Hopper, Steven Dorff and the, and the girl, I wish I knew their
names, John Frank and Susie or whatever.
Right?
Like they, they're doing their scene standing, like sitting up straight and standing up straight.
But if you look in the background, it's curved upwards.
And what I'm thinking is it would have been easier for them to just build a set that curved
upwards and then put the tables at an angle and then just have the actors lean back to
make it look like they were sitting up straight.
Then it would be to like CGI some effect that made it look like it warped or bent or whatever.
So I think that's what they did.
I think that they did it pretty.
There's some good camera trickery in there.
They did a good job to make it look like.
They did miss a few gags that they could have done in that scene where it's like the trucker
diner and they're eating and stuff.
They could have thrown like a gag, like some kind of meal, some kind of like, you know,
envelop you in the world a little bit more.
Rather than thinking, oh, this is just a cheesy like movie.
They're at the diner, a fight breaks out.
But I did like the one line where the, they're talking about a guy that died and all that
was left was his dick.
And they were like, yeah, we put it in a tennis, they put it in a tennis ball container and
like shot it in his face.
That's pretty great if you think about it.
And there was, it almost made me super happy because like when the fat guy gets sucked
out through the window, I thought when he went up and his ass went up into the window,
I thought I was going to suck all of his guts out of his ass and like shoot it in his face.
And be super gory.
I was like, I was excited for that and then it totally didn't happen.
No, see, I'm glad that it didn't, I'm glad it didn't happen.
I'm glad it didn't get gory.
No, I was trying to keep his rating to you.
Yeah.
I, but speaking of, yeah, the gags, you're right.
They should have done like a, you want your regular, you want the usual is what she should
have said, right?
And then the usual should have been some futuristic version of greasy diner food.
It should have been like a, like a, not a cheeseburger because like maybe cows, maybe
cows are extinct by then.
Yeah.
Give us a tentacle or something.
Give us like, but I do like that she has to recycle all the, all the leftovers.
That was like a, so there's a few little clever, whoever wrote this was thinking about futuristic
stuff who the director let the vision of the writing down.
Because I think the direction oftentimes he yada yadaed a few critical things.
Like if you're going to at some point take what I would have loved to have been more
of a Clint Eastwood with a primate trying to get across the country vibe of space truckers
is what I'm sort of vibing.
And that is the beginning.
A hundred percent is him punching the, is that the guy that played, well anyway, punches
the employer in the face gets into a roadhouse style brawl gets up on the road and leaves,
but then gets attacked by pirates.
You're thinking, Oh, okay.
Here's an adventure type thing.
And then at some point it just turns into here's killer robots.
We got to turn this into the last 15 minutes of Armageddon sacrifice, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
It's such a, it's like such a lazy way to tie this movie together.
I hate it.
If they put anything, anything in that cargo that wasn't killer robots and it would have
made for a better movie at the end.
If it was just like, Oh, this is a bunch of drugs we're transporting a knot on our watch.
And then they just are trying to outrun the fucking company.
That would have made a fun movie.
The robot had a Southern accent.
Oh yeah.
Did the onboard computer.
Remember the end of slipstream where the Mark Hamill's.
Mark Hamill's partner like gets with, uh, what's his fucking name?
Bill Paxton.
Bill Paxton or, yeah, you just killed my best friend.
I'm going to, you're, we're together now and you fucking drugged me and like forced a kiss
on me and all that shit.
There's like a lot of attitude like that in this movie.
Like right after Dorff or Steve Dorff Charles did the young guy.
Oh, Stephen Dorff, Stephen Dorff.
The main villain of blade of blade tries to fuck, tries to fuck the chick, even though
she has a marriage contract.
And then he comes in and he's all like aggressive with him.
Like, and then later they're just like, Oh, Hey, uh, you know, we might all die.
Let's all have like the secret stash of beer.
It's like, yeah, you just try to fuck my future wife.
Cheers.
Like we're just going to hang out.
But okay.
Now to that point, I would argue that John that's Dennis Hopper's character.
I do know that.
Yeah.
I'm just going to look at the list of the names.
I can start calling them by the names.
Um, even though they're not listed or, okay, John, Mike, and Cindy.
There we go.
I was really close with Susie and whatever the fuck I said earlier.
Uh, but anyway, yeah.
So John, he, I think at that point when he, when he came, even admits later that he was
jealous the way they saw that they were vibing.
Right?
So I think when he, when he came in and saw that they were mostly naked and he got angry,
of course he got angry because in his mind he's thinking, Oh, she'll probably, and listen,
he really was kind of taking her away from a shitty life.
He was trying to get her to earth and what he was asking in return was that he marries
her.
But I do think that he probably would have taken good care of her.
Right?
Like I wasn't like a nefarious, just horny old man vibe.
I didn't get necessarily, I got like he genuinely was, he had a crush on her.
He loved her.
She didn't vibe on him the same way because he's an older man.
Right?
Uh, and she meets this hot young guy and you know, like that's more of her, that's more
of her vibe.
No, he's hot.
What do you say?
He's the best person for blue cigarettes.
He's super, he's a big Stephen Dorn, Stephen Dorn, uh, or at least he was, I don't know
what he's into now.
He's been in a few really good movies.
Nope, we're not going there.
Just fuck everyone.
It's my brain.
Stephen is Stephen Dorf is, is he worth?
No, he's not war from Star Trek.
That's what you think.
Stephen Dorn, this guy, he's from blade.
He's the main villain in blade.
He was also the Nick, Nick Cage, world trade center movie.
He's in immortal, which, which immortal is like, but then he's also, no, righteous Jim
stones.
I watched that show.
The Marvel one or, uh, or no, those are the eternal.
Yeah.
No, immortals was that 300 style kind of cool, whatever the fuck movie that came on a little
while ago.
Uh, 2011, I liked it.
It's got some really cool scenes.
Uh, anyway, we're not going to go down this road, but hold on.
Wow.
Space truckers and blade were like two years apart.
What are his producer credits?
I just wanted to see, there is something that I, I, I know him from that.
I think he's great.
What was it?
Uh, blossom?
No, no blossom.
It was, uh, there's like a movie.
I fucking love that he's in it.
He's like, he's like, uh, it might be deuce is wild.
I haven't seen blade in such a long time.
Is that the one where he's like blade ready to die?
Yeah.
He turns into super bad CGI blood or at least he was going to anyway.
Deuce is wild.
This is an underrated classic 2002.
It's just like a, like a kind of a gangster type movie.
I loved it.
Um, anyway, moving on, whatever.
Who cares?
So this is a bad porno with no sex.
I wish there was more.
Wow.
This is the one time you get a little bit of titty, a little bit of titty by accident
by accident.
You do get a little bit.
I would say, I would say you're absolutely right.
This is the one time I would agree with Mike's general position on life that there should
have been a little bit more nudity in this.
You get a little bit of nipple accident.
You do get it.
I've seen it.
It was that one scene and it's where she's, he's trying to get his robot dick to work
and then she fucks him up.
Charles dances character is trying to get his robot dick to work so that he can rape
this woman.
Uh, just so that, just, just so that we're very clear BAFTA award winning Charles dance.
Uh, beloved British actor was trying to get his robot dick started, his half cyborg robot
dick started so he could rape Debbie Mays character.
Sometimes I think we watched not the same movie and that's something we don't.
You didn't think that that's a rape?
No, no, no.
I didn't mean that.
I'm just saying the overall views of this movie.
And at what point was she okay if she did?
The three of us are so different.
She is the villain.
No, yeah, I was going to say just real quick.
At what point when this poor girl was about to get raped, did you think, man, I hope this
villain gets what's coming to her.
What were you thinking at that moment?
They better show what this dick looks like.
Honestly, I was rooting for tits and one dick just to see, cause she knocks him down and
you see his whole body and there's nothing there.
I know.
I was like, they're not going to do the rave.
They're trying to make money.
I was picturing something like cyborg.
They know what it was going to lose to them.
I was picturing something like cyborg from Teen Titans is like shoulder.
Like that's like.
No, this was way worse.
I will say that whoever did the special effects on his body did a great job because he looked
grotesque.
It looked like pulsated.
It had hydraulics.
It had like a, again, a real retro futuristic vibe to it because I feel like especially
the way that the computers and all that, everything worked is like 1996 futures a little bit weird.
But what are your thoughts?
You were saying we have a different opinion.
Just like in the, he was talking about the woman villain and the same thing, different
opinions.
We're just saying this movie, there's three totally different opinions on this movie.
You didn't like it much.
Sounds like you liked it for the same reason.
I thought it was really well done for what it was, but cause, but you don't do that.
You don't do it for what it was.
You don't, you look at every movie as if it's a kind of $200 million budget, the same as
a $25 million budget.
Nope.
And, and that's not true.
What you, you're putting words in my mouth.
All the things that you've said, but go ahead.
But the things that you've said should be improved in this movie, I've been adding them
in my head as you went and you've, you've said $50 million worth of additional expenses
that they asked for.
Hold on, wait.
It's not expenses.
Saw, the first Saw movie was filmed in 21 days with almost no fucking budget and now
it's one of the biggest horror franchises.
Dennis Hopper.
You have a lot here.
That's what I'm saying.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Dennis Hopper.
Yeah.
Could have done an Oscar worthy performance in this movie.
It would have been the same movie.
It would have been a fit with the rest of it.
But no, what?
Okay.
Hold on.
I think any fucking actor in any movie.
Your job is to fit.
No.
That's what you said was so great.
Mike, Mike.
It was perfect for this movie.
You're putting words in my mouth.
Let me finish.
I'm saying I think that Dennis Hopper could have done, like he could have taken this, this
role and given it, and given it an Oscar worthy performance.
He didn't because, because he didn't, because they probably didn't pay him enough to do
it.
Right.
And I wrote down the note, the room in space was his acting.
Yeah.
And that's what I'm saying.
And I'm telling you that that is on purpose and that is acting.
It's just as much acting.
In other words, it's like when a female, to go back, we were saying plays a bimbo versus
playing a smart person.
They can do both.
But playing a bimbo, you got to act stupid.
You got to act a certain way.
He's playing a bad actor playing fucking this guy.
Kind of, yes.
That's exactly kind of the point.
No, he's playing, I get that he's not, I get that he's not a Shakespearean character
in this.
Right.
So no, no, no.
I get that John Canyon written for the movie space truckers is not a elegant part full
of nuance and fucking all this bullshit.
But I'm saying Dennis Hopper showed up to set on space truckers and phoned it the fuck
in is what I'm saying.
He did not show up going, I'm going to make this the best cheesy low budget bullshit movie
that I've ever made and really fit my acting.
And why are you so angry about it?
What?
I don't know, because you're putting words in my mouth, which I didn't appreciate.
I repeated your exact words back to you.
What words were those?
I don't even remember now because I'm high.
You're paraphrasing.
I think you're doing it incorrectly.
But continue your point.
Okay, my point.
I'm just going to tell you what I thought about the movie.
You don't, well let me get something in today.
Okay, I'm waiting, yeah.
Okay, this is what I actually wrote about it.
From the neon lit space force to the cramped confines of the cargo hauler, every frame
is bursting with charm and personality.
It's supposed to be retrofuturistic and it is.
And then I talked about the acting, but the whole point of it, it's not Shakespeare.
I wrote that.
What you were just saying, I wrote, the point is, let's be real, this isn't Shakespeare.
Space Trekker is a B movie through and through with a plot as ludicrous as entertaining,
dialogue that's equal parts cheesy and quotable.
Okay.
So none of that works if he puts in the performance you're talking about.
So that's your opinion.
Right.
And then I put, this is actual what I wrote in my article, but therein lies its charm.
It's a film that doesn't take itself seriously, inviting viewers to sit back, relax and enjoy
the ride through the cosmos.
So we have a completely different, that's what I'm saying.
We're viewing you, when we viewed this movie, I just said back, hey, this is fun.
Yeah, I had a lot of fun watching.
I'm not saying that I loved the super fun movie that I watched.
But you take all that out of it that you're saying.
No.
It's not that movie anymore.
It's a different fucking movie.
That's all I'm saying.
They could, no, no, no.
To do all the changes you've said, it's not the same movie.
It's the same.
That's the whole point of making the changes.
Okay.
I'm forgiving a lot of bullshit of this movie because the premise of it is so insane.
And the fact that they got Dennis Hopper to be the main character is mind boggling to
me.
And Steven Dorff in a weird, in a younger role, pre-Blaine, it's just weird.
So that's what enveloped me.
It's not that the director did an amazing job making a deliberate B movie.
I think a writer wrote a cool ass space trucker's movie.
They got Dennis Hopper on board.
They got Steven Dorff on board.
Then a director fucked a lot of it up because the fact that you can see the wires, I'm going
to bring this up again, the fact that you can see the wires, that's not deliberate,
Mike.
That's not a deliberate choice.
Well, honestly, I don't know if it is or not.
That is bad.
No, that is bad filmmaking.
We could go into the fight scenes later on when the robots come up.
The inconsistency of what those robots can do is not deliberate B movie bullshit.
That is bad filmmaking is what I'm saying.
And that takes the movie down.
And I know it wouldn't be the same movie if they didn't have all those mistakes.
You're absolutely right.
It would be a better movie.
But you're making a parody.
You're supposed to do those things.
It's not a parody.
What's it parodying?
Is it parodying Convoy or is it parodying space movies?
Okay, I'm going to quote you, Early.
Tell me if I'm wrong on this because I've listened to what you're saying.
Did you not say that this movie wishes it was another movie earlier?
Yeah, you said it wishes it was Spaceballs.
It wanted to be the next Spaceballs.
Exactly.
Like let's try to do it.
And they did a shitty job.
That's what they were trying to do.
And Spaceballs is a shitty movie too.
So I'm disagreeing with you guys.
I think that Dennis Hopper probably signed on for what he thought was going to be a cool
space movie.
A cool space Convoy.
And I think that he acted in a way that was consistent with that.
I think it was cool.
But I think the director fucked it up.
I don't think this is a deliberately bad movie.
I don't think it's parody of other things.
It might contain jokes.
Like because they didn't even, the jokes that they make aren't even like laugh out loud
funny parody jokes.
They're more social commentary jokes.
It's like when you get to the very end of the movie and you look outside the hospital
and there's just a mass of fucking poor people waiting to get in.
That's not like a parody.
That's like a strong social commentary on what the future is going to hold.
And I think they did the same thing with the pigs.
I really do feel like the writer wrote a solid fucking space Convoy movie.
I think they added robots in and stuff.
Which I feel like, and the robots.
And then whoever directed it did not give a shit about the space stuff.
Like didn't give a shit about how zero gravity works.
Didn't give a shit about how.
I think you're right about all that.
Yeah.
It could have been more immersive if they put those things in there.
But in Spaceballs they didn't do that either.
That's my whole point.
But no, but that's what I disagree.
Spaceballs is a deliberate Star Wars parody.
They're going shot for shot, frame for frame, making like, it's a scary movie.
It's a.
Gravity doesn't work right in Star Wars either.
So what?
Star Wars gravity doesn't work right either.
So it doesn't.
But we forget that.
We forget.
I was actually going to bring that up earlier.
I was going to say, we forgive Star Wars for their, for their bullshit when it comes to
gravity too.
People didn't forgive the bomb drop in that, in one of the more, the trilogy.
There was a, there's a controversial bomb drop.
It's either last Jedi or Rise of Skywalker.
Yeah.
Where they dropped the bombs.
And that's not how fucking space works.
Star Wars does it badly.
But Star Wars also isn't parodying anything.
Star Wars is just bad.
They just got space wrong in the seventies and had to stick to those rules.
But that also makes it not like, you know, but then we can argue the Star Wars at another
time.
This could have been a better movie.
I think they fucked it up.
I think I love it, but I really strongly disagree because there's been so many fucking movies
we've watched where you've come at me and said that the act, the director has said this
was a deliberate choice to be a bad movie.
And that cannot be the case for every movie that gets made.
You don't throw $25 million at a movie to make a shitty parody movie that makes no money.
You make, like you throw $25 million at an idea to make a cool space convoy movie.
I buy that.
Like, I'm just saying this, this movie for all the reasons I love it, is a, is, it could
have been way better.
The director, I think fucked it all up.
I liked the writer, Ted Mann, whoever this is.
Ted Mann, what else has he written?
He wrote N. White, P.D. Blue a few times, I guess.
No, those are producers, writer.
Yeah, Hatfields McCoy, Deadwood, fuck yeah, dude.
Total Recall 2070, the TV show, Millennium, all right, well I don't know.
Disco Beaver for Matter Space motherfucker, he wrote that.
Not a parody at all.
Whoa.
Ted Mann, not that bitch.
National Lampoon Guy.
Yeah, you're right, Andy.
Okay, the National Lampoon Guy wasn't trying to write a parody.
All right, well, that blew up in my face a little bit, but let me just say, Dennis Hopper
Thanks for yelling at me for 30 minutes about it.
Dennis Hopper did not sign up to do a parody.
Okay, Andy.
No, that's what I'm saying.
Dennis Hopper didn't sign up to do a parody.
I'd stick to it if I was you, too.
No, I'm not wrong.
Dennis Hopper, when he signed up for this movie, there's no way he's, he's, you're
just calling Dennis Hopper stupid because you're not going to tell me that anybody who
signs up from a writer from National Lampoon, one of his first projects, thinks they're
going to some Oscar winning bullshit.
He needed a paycheck, but I don't, I don't think he.
You need a paycheck or an alibi or something.
Yeah, so whatever.
Whatever Dennis Hopper does.
He knew what he was signing up for is my point.
You're saying he didn't, and there's no way he didn't know what he was signing up for.
Dennis Hopper.
He's not that dumb.
You're calling him an idiot.
I don't think he could have done that.
Oh, I am calling him, I'm calling him a bad actor in this.
I think he could have done a better job.
I kind of hate that he phoned this in.
This could have been a really, really fun, a really fun fucking thing.
But anyway, we have drastically different opinions on this.
Yes.
The ending, towards the ending.
Oh, well, yeah, I have more notes, but.
Fucking Vicky Valencourt is about to, how do I say this?
Not being controversial.
Allow the Nazi pirate to.
Rape her.
She was willing to do that to save everybody.
Oh, what a great line from Dennis Hopper.
Is that what you were about to say?
No, no, no, no.
Oh.
Then they're like on the ship and he's like, hey, I'm sorry I did this whole thing for
you to marry me.
It weren't right and all that shit.
And then she's all like, it's all good.
You don't have to marry me.
And she's like, fine.
She could have, could have sucked him off or something.
Wow.
For his troubles.
Is that why she's the villain in your eyes?
No.
Because that's a really strong, strong stance to take.
You were going to marry the guy and have to suck him off forever.
I don't think she should have had to suck him off.
I think that choosing not to add that in was a great choice by the director.
I'll give him that.
For him to not be like, you know, I can at least get a blow job from all this.
So he gets into trouble with the company over this, over this bull.
He gets a controversial, in order to leave the station after getting in trouble with
this like kind of a big shot company man, he, John has to leave and they put, and they
give him an illegal cargo.
And that's why when he gets, when he leaves, people are, you know, trying to get it.
Just to keep people if they haven't seen it.
Oh, I like that his hat has no brim because why was it?
There's no sun.
It's a beanie.
No, no, it's a, it's a trucker hat where they deliberately cut the brim off of because
there's no sun to get in your eyes because you're in space.
Oh, I think one of those cops, I'm not entirely sure.
One of the ones that gets is Django Fett from Django Fett, but I might be wrong.
I don't think they just look alike.
When they, when that pirate ship gobbles up the ship, first off, I was turned on because
that was awesome.
It's just a long snake just going into a giant hole of a ship.
But, but there's a moment, there's a moment where, so we meet Charles Dance and Charles
Dance in the beginning, well we meet Charles Dance in the beginning and he's the inventor
of these killer fucking cyborg robots who can disintegrate you with just like.
It turns your insides into fucking a bunch of silly poy mixed together.
Yeah, and it just melts you and it just disintegrates you.
So he, he shows this off to the president or shows this off to this guy.
He's like the main guy, the main bad guy or whatever, and he goes, Hey, here we go.
Isn't this great?
It works under your command only.
This is awesome.
And the guy's like, wonderful.
And then without saying a word, the robot just knows that the next thing it needs to
do is melt half of Charles Dance.
And so he does that.
And then Charles Dance being, I guess not even half, like, like probably, no, about
half a bit, somehow over the course of however long it's been since that happened, rebuilt
himself with a fully functional robotic penis.
And this is beloved BAFTA actor, Charles Dancer, Charles Dancer.
He has a little like lawnmower pull start, like when it gets going, it lights up and
starts emitting a fucking mechanical noise.
It's been designed to make women, it pulses out certain emits of frequency that is irresistible
to women.
And she's looking at going, Oh my God, I'm going to puke.
And he looks fucking disgusting.
And then he proceeds to, but anyway, before that happens, he has the, the three heroes
tied up and there's people going through their ship.
They're trying to open up the illegal cargo.
It's very difficult because it's like this titanium fucking thing.
They're trying to keep these robots in check.
And he threatens to cut off Stephen Dorff's dick with a saw, circular saw.
And when he does this, Stephen Dorff's like, don't cut off my dick, man.
And John chimes in and he goes, listen, if you're going to chop off anybody's dick, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, says his little line.
And Charles dances reply.
If he reaches down and he grabs Stephen Dorff's dick and he goes, is this your dick?
Says it to John and John goes, no.
And Stephen Dorff goes, it's my dick.
It's just one of the weirdest, no reason scenes I've ever seen in a movie.
It had, I don't know if that was Charles dance method acting or not.
Cause again, he's a BAFTA award winning, beloved celebrity.
Did you catch the, the act, the coincidental social commentary in the middle?
Oh, what was that?
Which part?
They're, they're like talking about Asteroid Fields and he looks out the window and he's
like, black rock.
What's black rock?
Oh, like the company that's buying all people's houses and shit.
Oh shit.
It also used to be, they were like big in like the Iraq war back way.
That's what I was thinking.
Is that the company that has the security company that private military?
I think so.
That's what I thought it was.
It's a very spooky corporation.
It is spooky that they're buying up all houses.
It is kind of strange.
But the black rock thing is kind of, that was a cool twist on Asteroid Fields sort of
thing.
Where they, as they're, they're going through the radars picking up a bunch of asteroids,
they can't see anything.
And it's because it's all black rock.
It's this black invisible rock until it gets conveniently CGI graphics close to you and
then you can see it.
So they, I didn't write any notes after this movie doesn't care about the rules of space.
There's a lot of bad, bad, bad choreography in the stunt work when those robots, no, the
robots themselves, the way they move is fucking dope.
The CGI surrounding them is awful.
The blue screen effects when they're out in space are atrocious.
The blowing people up and having them fly again with wires exposed because the whole
fucking movie you see wires on people.
It's embarrassing.
That's awful.
It's like literally sparkly.
It's exactly what you think from like an 80s movie.
It's just like one of those sparkly explosions, not a real flame ball, but just like a firework
went off and then you see someone get pulled on a wire into a thing, into like an obviously
cushioned whatever.
Like it's, it's a lot of that.
And eventually I actually wondered when I was seeing that, I wondered in this, if they
ran out of money, you know, cause in all movies you can watch the pre done scenes like in
from Marvel movies and you can see the wires and the pre done things and then they paint
them out or something at the end when they're doing that.
Well, according to you it was a deliberate choice.
No, I told you then I didn't know if it was that the wire specifically, I don't know if
that's cause they ran out of money to pay every scene at the end or what, cause it just
seemed weird.
It was bad.
There were so much.
It was bad.
Yeah.
So fucking bad.
There's a, Oh God, there's literally so much that the fucking zero G stuff, there's a point
where they're literally just casually walking around on the, on the, on the like ship and
then someone needs to go somewhere.
So they just go whoop and then just jump.
They just start floating off into wherever.
And I'm like, what this whole fucking time it's been zero G how, but they know because
and I tell you this, if they went real zero G, if they tried to wire everybody up for
all the necessary zero G kind of shit that they needed to do, it would have looked so
bad.
But they did the one where they're like, they were there.
It's a girl and the dwarf and the chick and they're like, they're like there, you can
tell they're just laying on a blue screen, like on their sides looking at each other
and they're just rotating an image of the ship.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Yeah.
They're floating.
Yeah.
For their, for the sex scene, which did it wasn't the, like the random objects floating
every now and then.
Oh, foreground, the background is like a toothpaste.
Yeah.
Cause they want you to, cause it's zero G. Oh God.
Quote unquote.
So he, that's another, they spent the budget on miniatures.
Just so that, just so the director got to keep them all at the end, just like, I'll
get something from this.
I'll get a nice little space collection.
He dresses up as a Mabel's character with the robot dick.
He's got that whole costume.
He's got the real dick.
Didn't even put it in the movie.
Had them make it, didn't put it on the guy.
Just for him, this is mine.
Uh, I, so anyway, Dennis Hopper's character, uh, becomes a good human being, gives them
the blessing to get married, tells them to get married immediately.
Uh, like he gives up his, his, her obligation to marry him.
And then he says, uh, all right, go on the escape pod, get out of here while a bunch
of killer robots are, you know, about to kill them.
They got the space, the escape pod.
Now this is where I'm confused.
The whole movie I was following without missing a step.
This is where I got hung up.
The escape pod.
Did Steven Dorff intentionally use the afterburners to kill those robots that were attacking John,
or was that just a happy byproduct of the pre-established escape pod coordinate protocol?
They don't really explain that.
They don't go into, they don't go into detail.
He said he was going to the Palmdale space port, which I was like, he did say, yeah,
he's going to Palmdale space port.
At least they tried to, um, didn't seem plot specific.
I don't know the matter truly.
Well, I don't know if he was just hanging around, seeing what John was going to do and
then helped him or if he just happened to be like, Oh shit, John's in trouble.
Or he didn't even notice.
It almost looked like he didn't notice that he killed those robots is what I'm saying.
It looked like, and look, if that, if it's what I think it is, which is the escape pod
just happened the way the escape pod works to pull up, line up to the robots and then
wait, but nope, nope, nope.
I'm going to actually disregard my own theory and here's why.
No escape pod I think would be designed to launch off of a ship and then use its afterburners
to then damage the ship on its way out.
It would probably launch far enough away before activating its own thrusters.
So this had to be a deliberate move by, by DORF.
And so knowing that it actually changes my opinion about a lot of things about this movie
because I thought DORF was a pretty selfish character, but he actually put his life at
risk in that maneuver.
So that actually kind of a redemption that probably raised a letter of this entire movie
of grade wise for me.
Just that thank you for clarifying that my own brain.
Thank you.
So anyway, they, so Dennis Hopper blows up, disintegrates the ship in the earth's atmosphere
along with all the robots and this is his truck, right?
This is his bad boys, Peterbilt and they watch it blow up and then they do, you wouldn't
believe it, the old Indiana Jones trick, the old whatever movie we watched that did this
trick move where they think that he's dead.
They spent an uncomfortable amount of time on Steven Dorf and her and Sydney for like
that scene.
If you rewatch it, that's a good 30, 40 uncut seconds of them pretending to be sad that
Dennis Hopper just died.
And then lo and behold, there's a parachute coming down.
Softest parachute landing of all time I've ever seen in a movie.
They just filmed, they just threw the parachute up in the air and then had him run in front
of the camera.
Like that's what I would even think they did it in reverse.
They had somebody jump or no, because it's, no, I think, yeah, they just must've had somebody
because he did take the helmet off.
It was him.
So anyway, you would think, there we go, happily ever after they get home, but she goes and
sees her mom and this is where shit gets wild.
The last five minutes of this fucking movie are an absolute insane, just bullshit ride.
We have the hospital where Sydney is finally, so earlier in the movie, Sydney, who again,
Dennis Hopper, it tends to make his slave wife in a way.
She shows him a picture of her mom and she's a babe, like really hot.
And Dennis Hopper's like, God damn, your mom's hot.
I wish I would've loved to have met her back in the day.
I didn't know that was foreshadowing at the time.
I thought that was 40 old man Dennis Hopper again.
I didn't know, wow, real good foreshadowing, because at the end of the movie she's like,
oh, my mom's had a operation, blah, blah, blah.
Turns out the operation was they cryogenically froze her until there was a cure available
for her disease, cured her, and now she's the same age as fucking her daughter and she's
as hot as she was in that picture.
And guess what?
The first person she lays eyes on is Dennis Hopper and she has the biggest lady boner crush
on Dennis Hopper.
And that, wait, hold on, we're actually not there yet.
Then the president walks in.
The guy from, what?
Hold on.
Back to the mom.
Yeah.
I thought for a second there when the mom wakes up, she's like, oh, I was cryogenically
frozen and everything.
I thought he was gonna be like, oh, I fucked her a long time ago.
And she's my daughter and I was about to marry her.
That's the vibe that gave off.
No, no, he's not even wrong for thinking that.
I thought that too.
It's because the moment when they see each other, it's like they've known each other
for years and they haven't seen each other in decades and they've seen each other for
the first time, which let's be real real quick.
From his perspective, even if that was the case, if they had been old lovers or whatever,
right?
From his perspective, holy shit, it's my old lover and she hasn't aged a day.
From her perspective, ew, my old lover's now this old man with a half a trucker hat.
Trying to bang my daughter.
Trying to bang my daughter, right?
So that moment wouldn't work.
So them actually being just looking at each other, I don't know.
But anyway, the president comes in and he says, I need you all to forget about all this
bullshit.
I've got a truck waiting for you, brand new rig.
Here's a shitload of money.
Sorry.
And then of course, Dennis Hopper being literally the probably, I love his character in this.
He just goes, yeah, cool.
No, hey, hey, yeah, that's fine.
You forget all about it.
Thanks for the money.
Appreciate it.
Have a great life.
Cooperation.
Well, we'll cooperate.
Yeah.
Well, it's also what I would do.
And it's also what you would do.
They made me want to watch the Watchmen movie again.
The ending of that where they all have to keep quiet about it.
Oh yeah, that's kind of what it is.
This is as good as the end of Watchmen.
We've also said, we all have said we'd take the money and shut up.
Yeah, we'd shut up.
Except then the women, I will say if that's your, if you're going to say that the one
point where she could maybe be considered a villain.
Oh no, wait, actually, no.
Because it ends up being the money's a bomb.
But I want at the moment when they were like, no, we don't want the money.
I was like, oh, come on, you guys are being stupid.
Then they throw the briefcase out the window.
And here's my next thought.
This movie really has you double guessing yourself.
My next thought is, oh, briefcase full of money, shitload of homeless people.
What's going to happen?
It's going to break open next to the president as he's walking outside.
The money's going to start flying around.
He's going to get mobbed by homeless people trying to get the cash and he's going to get
like trampled or whatever.
No, I thought it was just going to bonk him on the head or bonk him on the head.
No briefcase had a bomb.
And when they threw it out at Lance right on top of his fucking limo blows the limo
up.
Now they're on the hook for killing the president and they got to get the fuck out of there.
So they run to get their new rig and they fucking fly off somehow convinced an air control
traffic center or whatever to launch their rocket off without any previous clearance
from anybody and now they're boom, they're gone and they get to fucking yeehaw out of
the sunset.
Now, the last thing is more bad CGI because you can tell they use footage from an actual
rocket launch and just impose.
Yes, and they just impose the truck onto it.
So, but this brings me to my mainest point.
Okay.
This movie is our second and I'm hoping, wait, first off, actually, how many civilians do
you think died when they threw that briefcase bomb out the window?
There's a lot of them gathered up next to the limo.
I'm just saying they're not only complicit in the president's death, they straight up
murder and what was the president's fucking, if he goes and visits the room and then a
whole floor of a hospital gets wiped out after and he walks out of the building, like, and
people wouldn't question that.
I'm just saying bad move on his part.
He's lucky he got blown up.
This is our second Barbara Crampton movie.
Barbara Crampton.
Who the?
Yeah.
So here's the thing.
What?
When Barbara Crampton came up on, Barbara Crampton plays Cindy's mother and when she
started talking, when she does the voice, it's hot again, right?
Because like she's, so I was like, who the fuck is this chick?
She's so hot.
Like I thought that was like, I was just like, I got blown away.
I was just like, she's a babe.
What has she been in, right?
Right.
Well, she's been in Reanimator.
She was the, she was the main chick in Reanimator.
She was his girlfriend.
So we've done Reanimator.
So then I started thinking, I was like, so I looked up Reanimator again.
I looked up From Beyond and she stars along with Jeffrey Combs, who is the guy from Reanimator.
It's directed by the guy who directed the movie we just watched.
So Stuart Gordon, this is our second Stuart Gordon movie.
He did Reanimator.
He's also done Space Truckers.
What else by the way?
I want anything, anything, I mean your previous as well.
We're going to go director.
Yeah.
So Reanimator.
Wait, no, is he a different?
Robot Jocks.
Oh, he did.
Robot Jocks.
No, we haven't watched Robot Jocks.
No, so he did Reanimator.
So he did Dolls, but I want us to watch From Beyond.
And the reason I do is because it's the same cast as Reanimator.
What?
The same cast?
It's the same, well not the same exact cast, but it's the main two, the main two love interests.
It's a, it's another H.P. Lovecraft movie and it's the same director and he reused a
lot of the same crew because they were back to back and he filmed it in a different country.
So then I started looking up.
And Dolls, that was back to back to back with Dolls.
So From Beyond, right?
So yeah, it says right here that they previously worked with these two people in Reanimator.
He cast them.
So then they also filmed, they were also in a movie called Castle Freak.
And so Castle Freak also is Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs and another H.P. Lovecraft,
I think.
Oh, Direct Video, yeah.
Castle Freak, Direct Video, I think they did.
It's like they made it in between making movies.
While preparing to work on Space Truckers, he received an opportunity to develop Castle
Freak and he made Castle Freak, which is a Quasimodo like man chained to a wall whipped
by a woman.
Well, there's a castle and there's a freak.
Put two words together.
Yeah.
I'm making, I'm making Space Truckers might as well make Castle Freak.
Let's go baby.
Just keep putting two words together.
Barbara Crampton played who in Truckers?
He's, oh, she's the mom.
She's the hot blonde mom at the end, but she's the main, she's the main chick in Reanimator
and she's the one who gets her lady parts.
She's the one that got an actor divorced.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
If you've listened to that, you've heard that one where she, where the movie Reanimator,
she's on a table and the, this guy takes his, this guy takes his head off of his body and
uses it to do cuddlingus on her against her will.
And the actor, this man who's in his like fifties or sixties or whatever when he made
this, didn't tell his wife about that part of the filming.
So when they went to the screening in the middle of that scene, they had a big argument.
She walked out later, divorced him because he didn't tell her that he was like, he was
eating out young.
He liked it a little too much.
Yeah.
So that's a little Barbara Crampton trivia.
And I feel like we can get more Barbara Crampton trivia if we watch From Beyond, which I'm
already 30 minutes into and I actually, I kind of like it.
It's H.P. Lovecraft again.
And it's also the Reanimator crew, which I was a big fan of.
And then we have Castle Freak, which I'm sure is going to not be great, but it's got Susan
Crampton, Barbara Crampton.
So anyway, I just thought.
Big old rabbit hole in this movie.
This is our second Stuart Gordon.
And not in any way related.
Directed by a movie.
Did you think?
Well, because Alan came up as because Tooby recommended it, so that could be why though,
because I watched the other on Tooby.
Well, sure.
But for the audience at home, before you knew any of this information, did you think that
we were going to tie space truckers into fucking Reanimator?
The same director?
No.
Yeah.
So anyway, let's get into let's get into grades because this is a tough one to grade.
I as much as I actually enjoyed sitting down and watching it, there were so many glaringly
bad fucking like everything about it.
But then it's like if you're high and you're watching it, it's totally fun.
So based on that, which is, I guess, primarily the goal, I'm going to rate this a C. It is
middle of the road in a lot of ways.
But it's also if if if honestly, if you like Dennis Hopper, hell, if you if just any of
this sounded at all entertaining to you, or if you hate Dennis Hopper, or if you're if
you live in Britain, and you love your Charles dance so much.
You know what?
I've been saying that he's a BAFTA winning actor this whole fucking time.
You don't have any idea you made that up?
I hope to God he's a BAFTA winning actor.
Let's let's see.
Awards like, hold on, I gotta find them space truckers, space truckers, and then Charles
dance.
I could just type in Charles dance.
Let's go Charles.
It'd be really funny if it wasn't.
I thought you'd already done this.
I was just taking your word for it.
I don't really know who he is.
No, he's been trust me, trust me for space.
Trust me, you know, he's Gosford Park imitation game.
He's a last action hero.
Game of Thrones duties tie with Lannister.
Okay, that's what I'm saying.
Everyone knows who Charles dances.
He's he's he's very respected actor.
He's in a movie called This England.
Yeah, of course you are respected BAFTA award.
Okay, hold on.
Let me make sure that's right.
But I also want to know.
I'm asked.
God, dude, we're we've only I've been scrolling for 10 minutes now.
It feels like and I'm only into 2018.
He's in a lot of stuff.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
Nice.
I liked that one.
He does a lot of small parts of a lot of things.
Or he does a lot of big parts.
We don't know important parts.
But well, he could be the lead actor in a lot of these.
So that's the animal like the Rob Schneider did it.
Where?
Oh, no, the Admiral.
Oh, the Admiral.
I can't read.
Dracula untold.
Yeah.
Anyway, again, this is where everyone loves when we just look on Wikipedia or whatever.
I just want to know if we really have to award winning.
Yeah, I'm gonna look at his awards.
Hold on.
Where are they?
Where are awards?
I do not know.
Trivia?
No.
Personal details?
There's usually a whole thing that says awards.
How about if I go back to Google and I type in awards?
There you go.
That's a good way to do that.
Order of the British Empire.
Okay.
Screen Actors Guild for Outstanding.
Critics Choice for Best Acting.
So that's Baft of Specifically.
Hold on.
Okay.
Shakespeare.
See, Royal Shakespeare Company.
Yeah.
Television and Film.
Let's go with awards.
Come on.
What video?
Wait, go out.
Bafta!
Bafta.
Nominated?
For TV.
Oh, shit.
He's a Bafta nominated fucking award.
Bafta TV counts as well.
It's still Bafta.
Critics Choice though is fine.
So he didn't win.
Screen Actors Guild.
So he's getting nominated for Best Actor.
I mean, he basically won.
We'll go up to his podcast he's been on.
It said Al Jazeera.
He was on an Al Jazeera podcast.
What?
That's it?
Yeah.
Hindsight.
Oh, yeah.
It was a hindsight.
He's talking about the whole.
That's weird.
What's he talking about?
No, the video.
I keep scrolling.
Oh, The Witcher 3.
That's what he's talking about.
Oh, he narrated.
Call of Duty.
Black Ops 4.
It's the butler.
Anyway, we're not going to just look at it.
Charles Dance.
Bafta nominated actor.
Charles Dance.
This is the movie I wanted to watch.
I'm 20 minutes into.
From Beyond.
The sequel.
The spiritual successor to.
To see these two.
And they look completely different in this movie than they did in Reanimator.
I'm a big fan of Stuart Gordon.
So, yeah, see.
All right, anyway.
How about you?
Go ahead, Mike.
Okay.
I am B minus.
I was going to.
I was C plus, B minus.
I'll say B minus.
Did what I wanted from a B movie.
Funny.
I had a good time.
I was a little high last night watching.
Great.
Even though it's got some of that weird stuff in it, my wife liked it.
It was just a fun watch.
It was just fun.
Austin.
This movie is the movie version of the game Big Rigs.
I don't know if you've seen that game.
Yeah, you know, Big Rigs.
The fundamentally broken game.
It's really fun.
If you watch gameplay of Big Rigs, it's broken in a way that like if you were to watch a
movie, it's broken in a way that like if you reverse, I believe it has infinite acceleration.
Yeah, it just keeps accelerating.
You leave the map.
You go.
You clip through things.
It's like it's an insanely broken, cool looking thing.
Racing against another truck that does not move.
Yeah.
So with that in mind.
Big Rigs, the movie.
So what's your grade?
C.
C. So this is going to be a C plus.
No, you are B minus anyway.
Yeah.
So it's fair on our scale because it's a B on another.
It's fine.
That's fair.
We'll go C. C.
We'll go C. C is better.
All right.
Space Struckers gets a C and you're lucky to have it.
Space Struckers, you know what you've done.
We're not.
We're not going to review a movie.
Sorry.
We're not going to.
Sorry.
We're not going to pick a movie to review for next week because next week's episode is
going to be the Fried Rice Presents Andy Rice's Birthday Extravaganza brought to you live.
Well, no.
Recorded.
In front of a live studio audience is how I need to start be phrasing it.
Need to start be phrasing it is not how things are said.
I'm going to open up a bunch of presents.
We're going to see how everything goes.
It's going to be great.
Hopefully that was filmed so you'll be able to actually watch it on YouTube.
And other than that.
Question of the week.
Go for it Austin.
Dude, let's try to pick one really quick.
We usually do them on the fly.
We've got Space Struckers.
What's in this movie that would leave a question.
If you know what a B movie is, what's a C movie?
What's a C movie?
Oh wait.
That's cool.
I know.
Okay, well.
Two movies that have similar.
No, no, no.
How about this?
Yeah.
How about take two words.
Take two words.
Put them together.
Give us a pitch for a movie.
Any two random words.
There we go.
Movie pitch.
Perfect.
Give us a two word movie pitch.
Yeah.
The title is two words.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Ambient Space Banjo is what this boat is called.
All right.
Well.
Looking forward to the live show.
Yeah.
Well, that's going to be hopefully not a train wreck.
We'll see how it goes.
Well, this has been a, it's been an episode of a movie of a podcast.
We've surely accomplished and finished our task.
You have been an audience member.
Also accomplishing your task.
You have accomplished your task of making as far as you've made it into this.
And I'll toss this mom for the great.
Oh yeah.
And if you want to win a beanie to travel in time to a few weeks ago, it's February 16th.
We had our love.
Blah, blah, blah.
You get it.
Um, with me as always is Michael.
Uh, you know, can't kill me.
Can't kill him because he bought a Deadpool shirt and he thinks it makes him invincible.
And he really planned that bit.
Really fucking loves it to death.
And I'm so glad that we did it.
Larson.
Have a good weekend everybody.
And we have Austin.
You know, he's a real space fucker.
If you know what I mean, Farrell with a robot.
See you at the show.
And I've been your host, Andy Rice.
This has been fried rice podcast.
We have been fried.
Have a good evening.