You fucking burger in front of me!
And welcome to the most fucking furious Nick, very fucking Nick Cage episode of the Fried
Rice Podcast.
With me, as always, is Brennan!
Simply out of Boston!
Hello everybody, let's go.
Oh yeah, I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it!
This gets me pumped.
I'll turn that off.
Well, I watched Mandy this morning, so I'm pumped.
Sorry, I'm not going to be able to figure out how to fix that audio-wise.
It posts guys, so fuck your stereo or whatever I just blew the speakers out of.
Might have to start the episode on low volume and make it as you go.
Good advice after we've already screamed into the microphone.
It's too late now.
Oh man, welcome to the Fried Rice Podcast.
Today is just, well, I mean everyone's here, obviously, but I think just Brennan and I
are deciding to be the ones to talk.
Yeah, we put tape over everybody else's mouths.
They're in the murder room.
It's not a murder room, it's a, well, if you keep the bodies in there after you've murdered
them somewhere else, is it still a murder room or a storage area?
I guess it's a shed.
Yeah, it's a storage area.
Yes, shed.
Yes.
So let's get into the, what are we smoking?
Just because I know that's what people care about, I guess.
The weed we're smoking is, and this actually has a label on it this time, it's Gas Stank
Number 4.
That's pretty tasty.
Yeah, it is pretty tasty.
It's got THC percentage, blah, blah, blah, 24.93, or total cannabis or cannabinoids is
29.6, so whatever that means.
No CBD.
I mean gas, yeah, I mean it's, why gas 4 though?
Why gas stank number 4?
It could be the fourth combination of those two strains to make it.
Okay, that makes sense.
Yeah, like the fourth generation of it.
It tastes good, it tastes, it's been doing good for me.
I'm already out of it already.
I had to go back and get, we're also doing some pre-rolls, but tell me about yours.
So as usual I've been bringing a Jeter's Baby Cannon infused with live resin.
This week I brought Northern Blue.
We haven't tried that one yet.
We have not tried this one yet, but every single one we've tried has been good.
Yeah, the bubble gum.
That one's really good.
That one was a fire.
They had that the other night.
It's 40% THC.
Oh, good lord.
And then I brought a, I don't know, it's Tumble is the brand.
I've never had it before.
It doesn't have any, it says it's infused with diamonds.
So, or I think it's infused with diamonds, so it doesn't have any, oh, maybe it was on the box.
I threw it.
It doesn't have any information on it.
Oh, here's all the information.
So, uh, Tumble infused 1G Cone Granddaddy Purple infused pre-roll with diamonds, THC diamonds cultivated in Sunshine Mix number 4 and soil.
That's going to be a lot for two guys to smoke.
You know what?
We got time.
We got this.
We got time.
Don't worry about us.
We'll be fine.
It's basically slapstick.
Apparently Mike got mad, or he looked like he was getting upset every time we were bringing up the slapstick thing.
I overheard one of the things he's like, he's like, I think it's getting a little overplayed.
He says to Ryan, when Ryan says basically slapstick, well, Mike, if you're listening to this, you're basically slapstick.
You just got to deal with it.
That's who you are now as a person.
You're just basically slapstick.
So this week's been, it's been a week.
It's been a hell of a week.
I got, I typically don't want to air my personal shit on here, but I was involved in a car accident last week and my vehicle got totaled.
And so I have, but thankfully I was able to procure a new car.
And walk away from the accident.
And walk away, yeah, if you guys want to fizz.
I'm in a wheelchair now, but I was able to get a new car.
Handicap capable.
No, yeah, no one was injured.
It looked like, yeah, no one was injured.
Just one of those stupid stroke of bad luck kind of things.
But anyway, the new car I have is, I like it.
I'm happy with it.
It's really dope.
And my dad came out here to kind of help me with everything just because he's retired now.
He had the time and he, it was only supposed to be up here a couple days, but we just extended it.
He was here a whole week and honestly, it was awesome.
He's 70 now and he's getting older and it's just being able to have all this, it's probably the most time we've spent together.
One on one since I was a child maybe.
You know, like really, you don't really get, I don't even spend, let me just rephrase that.
It's the most time I've spent with any one person in a week since I was like a childhood, a child and I had to live at home with my siblings and parents.
So yeah, but it was smooth.
We went to, God, he likes Perkins.
He likes Perkins.
We went to Perkins.
He tried the tomato basil soup and that first day he was like, oh my God, that's probably the best soup I've ever had ever.
We went to Perkins three times this week.
Oh, that's awesome.
And we got that tomato soup each time.
I'm a little tired of pot roast milks at this point.
You should tell him to get that skillet with the gravy, the chicken, the biscuit gravy or whatever.
He doesn't like chicken.
And the reason he doesn't is super sad.
I'm going to tell everybody in the world your sad story, dad, if you're listening.
But he told me he can't understand a word of the fucking sayings.
So yeah, when he was a kid, his parents, he had a pet chicken.
What he thought was his pet chicken.
There was a chicken on there, like in their ranch area, farm area that he adopted as his best friend.
And then one day he got home from school and they were eating chicken and he couldn't find his best friend.
Shit.
And when they told him that they had to eat them, because that's just, you know, times are rough.
They had to eat the chicken because that's what he was there for.
Or the chicken, that's what she was there for.
Ever since then, he's been kind of reluctant to eat chicken.
And that's an understandable reason.
I have a friend, Michelle, who doesn't like chicken because she, well, she doesn't eat chicken.
And it's not, I don't even know if it's a taste thing.
It's just she has five or six chickens at her acre of land.
And I love those chickens.
They're wonderful.
I've never been able to pet one.
They're not really like.
Friendly.
They're friendly.
They come up.
They coo.
They do their little chicken stuff.
But I don't think they want to be pet.
I don't think birds give a shit about being touched.
I think it's like uncomfortable for them.
I think like parrots and parakeets.
They like being on you.
Do they like being touched though?
I think so.
Maybe one of those little fingers down the chest thing I see some people do.
That's my retirement plan is to get a parrot that's going to outlive me.
Leave it to one of my children.
I haven't decided which one yet.
Really?
Yeah.
My wife hates that idea, but I love it.
You got to teach it all.
All of my phrases.
So that.
Yeah.
So they can experience dad afterwards in a bird form.
But what about if it picks up some weird ones?
I'm going to teach it all.
So it's like, hey hon, put your finger in my butt the way I like.
That's one thing it says every now and then.
So you're long and gone, but your kids are like, oh,
God, I'm hoping it learned that from TV, but I don't know.
Yeah, no, it's a, it's yeah, my wife doesn't like that joke, but it's,
it's more serious than a joke.
Yeah.
Parrots are great.
I just, I just got into super store and Dina, one of the characters who's the
delight of the show.
You've been talking about it so much.
I hadn't started over.
Oh, you did?
I have been talking about it a lot.
You know, it's, it's, I'm on season five.
I'm about halfway or nearest to the end of season five and there's one more
season to go.
And I honestly, there hasn't been an episode I haven't liked.
There hasn't been a character I haven't liked.
Matteo could be a little bit meaner than funny.
Yeah.
And I think that's what they're going for.
So he's doing it fine.
But like, I really like America Ferreira in this.
Yes.
She's not only do I like her as an actress, but she's hot as fuck.
Like there's something about her, her personality.
That's just, I don't know.
What am I doing?
The character?
Yeah.
This is just pocket.
I forgot they were recording.
You and I were just hanging out.
Yeah.
Anyway, America Ferreira, if you're listening and you're single, please go find
someone that'll make you happy.
I'm not the guy.
I'll fucking, I'm not a good...
You never know.
You might be the right one for her.
No, no.
I think I've realized that I'm not, I don't think I improve anyone's life by being in
it relationship wise.
Because friendship wise, I can dip in and out and you get me, like my best friends in the
world only see me like, you know.
Every couple months.
If, you know, and one of my best friends only sees me maybe once a year.
Yeah.
And I think from their perspective, that's probably enough A&D time.
I think that's just part of growing, part of getting older.
Like I haven't seen my best friends in a long time.
It's because we all live far away.
We all got life, we all got bills to pay and you know, some of us have kids, some don't
like, you know.
And I live vicariously through the ones that don't because they're always doing exciting
shit.
Lonely though.
Well, I'm not lonely.
I don't have kids and I'm perfectly fine with it.
But I do, you do talk about, you know, things that of course sound great.
Like when your kids are doing cool shit or cute things, you like it a lot.
They're funny.
They're a never ending source of entertainment.
I mean, perfect example, the movie that we watched this week.
Mandy.
I started it last night.
Got about 20 minutes in and then my wife decided to go check on my four year old because he
was sick earlier in the day.
And she walked in his room and he was just drenched in sweat.
He was wide awake.
He's like, I want to go sleep on the couch.
I want to watch, you know, I want to watch TV with dad.
I want to hang out.
Is he a fever?
Sweat?
No.
I think it was just he was bundled up too much.
Like he cocoons himself in his blanket.
Okay.
And it's like, you know, it's a comfort thing.
Cause you know, I did it when I was a kid too.
So I don't know if it's something he learned, but, uh, so he was super drenched in sweat.
So he brought him out, changed him real quick.
And then he did not want to go back to bed.
And, uh, my wife was trying to get, get him to go to bed with her and watch whatever he
wanted to watch in there, but he, he wanted to lay up, lay on the couch with dad and hang
out with dad.
So I turned the movie off and instead watched the original Superman with Christopher Reeves.
78 Superman.
Which I know I mentioned this at work the other day, but for the podcast listeners,
um, interesting side note about Superman 78, uh, and also Batman 66, if you're, if you
happen to be a fan or you have a parents or grandparents that is a fan of those, you might
consider going online and buying a copy of the comic books that have come out.
They've released, uh, Batman 66 comic books and they've released Superman 78 comic books.
So there, it's that universe, it's the movie universe that they've built.
They've also done it for like, I think Arrow continues like the Arrow universe.
I think he, like the show.
Yeah.
Universe.
Small, no, no, sorry.
Not Arrow, Smallville.
Smallville has a season 11, uh, through comics, but I think the most, and actually I'm glad
that this, we sort of, I interrupted you, but let me, uh, damn it, let me give him a
little notebook.
I just want, I wanted to talk about the, um, let me just write it down real quick and then,
uh, I'll let you continue.
Um, shit, I just lost my train of thought.
You did write down what you wrote.
I did write down the word, I'm, that's going to remind me of something later, but, uh,
but oh, the comics.
Oh, just while we're on the line of comic and it's literally, I wrote it down, uh, Buffy
the Vampire Slayer.
It had seven seasons.
Angel had five.
They both left, well, I think, well, they both left on cliffhangers for sure.
Like the, the ramifications of what happens in the last episode of Buffy is immense and
that's going to lead to something I'm going to bring up later, but Buffy has continued
up to like season 12 now.
So like they've done full blown comic seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which have you
ever watched?
I have, I've watched a couple episodes, I haven't finished it.
Like I didn't religiously watch Buffy.
Sure.
Yeah.
The movie is very fun.
Okay.
It came out before the, before the show.
Yeah.
Start that up.
We're getting into those Jeter, ladies and gentlemen.
By the way, I don't know, a lot of you, um, at home have asked to yourself, um, and then
I've picked up on it mentally, tele, tele, telepathy wise.
You're like, what does the setup look like here at the fried rice podcast?
And it's, and um, you know what?
I don't want to embellish, but it's pretty cool.
It's a nice bachelor pad.
That's for sure.
Oh yeah.
I mean, I was, I was not even talking about the whole, the whole apartment.
I was just talking about this table in our weeds.
Yeah.
I live in a little bachelor pad.
It's a nice bachelor pad.
It's a little golf course.
I like it.
Yeah.
Jesus.
That's good.
Yeah.
We got to smoke more weed now that Snoop Dogg doesn't smoke.
There's going to be a giant vacuum of, um, weed smoke not being smoked.
Uh, oh man, that got me.
Oh, anyway, this, we got, um, the way I have it is I always pack, we have a little silicon
tray thing and you know, I've got different bowls packed before we even start.
And then people bring pre rolls and shit and we set them all up.
Basically there's never not a moment where we're smoking.
Just very rarely.
I think it's just to catch our breath.
Yeah.
So anyway, so that explains all of the, all the bullshit that happens.
All the bullshit.
Behind the scenes.
That's why the last 16 minutes you've, uh, you've wasted your fucking life is what's
happened.
Or you've enjoyed conversation.
You freak if you have.
But anyway, Buffy comics are dope.
Batman 66 comics are dope and Batman 78 comics are cool.
Um, so you watched it with him last night.
What was his impressions of the movie?
Well, so I actually got my wife to kind of sit out there and watch a bit too.
She's never seen the original one and he's watched it with me before and he kind of makes
the same comments throughout, you know, and, uh, the first thing my wife liked was cause
he started with the scene and you know, they're on Krypton and she was loving the set design
of Krypton.
No, what is that?
How does he say it?
I think he does say Krypton.
Uh, it's, it's Krypton, but he, but, um, Mark, Marlon Brando.
Yeah.
He founded it.
100%.
Welcome to Krypton.
I don't know.
I can't just voice it.
Yeah.
Okay.
Starts on Krypton.
My wife loved the set design of it.
She thought it was amazing.
I mean, I do too.
It's great.
Like, you know, you could tell it's, you know, a small set, but for the time it was fantastic.
Yeah.
Um, and like we kind of get through all of that and like my son's just like, Oh, baby
Superman.
Like he's all half asleep, half awake.
And, uh, we get to the point where they are, we're like Krypton's, you know, uh, exploding.
Yeah.
Everybody's dying.
And my wife was like, this is kind of morbid.
Like all these people are kind of falling and stuff.
It's a little morbid.
And my, my four year old is like, yeah, they're dying.
My mom's like, or my wife's like, they're not dying.
They're jumping into a swimming pool.
And then just then the planet explodes.
And my son's like, no, they're jumping into lava.
Can't save that one mom.
Can't save that one.
No, it was, it was, it was pretty funny because right as she was like, yeah, they're going
swimming.
And then the planet explodes.
It's like, no, they jumped in the lava.
They're dead.
But we ended up watching the whole movie at two o'clock in the morning.
I saw a thing where they talked about how the movie played.
And there's a scene where I think he flies in and then changes into Clark or the other
way around.
I don't know.
They used mirrors.
If you go watch a documentary on it, if you're interested, that's the information I've had.
They used mirrors.
It was cool.
I know Marlon Brando was extremely lazy.
He was the highest paid actor at the time because of that movie.
And then like, he basically was like tricked the director into doing everything in one
take and then like didn't remember his lines.
One of the scenes they had, his lines were written on diapers, like kind of spread throughout
the scene.
So he was reading his lines off the diapers instead of remembering them.
It was like, it was fresher to me if I don't read the scripts.
Like you'll get a fresher reaction if I don't know what's coming.
That's some bullshit.
Marlon Brando.
Yeah.
Long dead Marlon Brando.
I mean, he still, even for phoning it in, he still did an okay job.
I mean, except for saying some things wrong.
But at the time, you know, they didn't know how to pronounce it or didn't, you know.
They knew.
He knew.
He just fucking didn't give shit.
He didn't care.
Fuck you Marlon Brando.
Well, I mean, you've done a lot of great stuff.
Or not.
You're an asshole.
You're not.
I haven't done enough research on Marlon Brando to know if he ended up.
He's been in a lot.
He's what?
He was in a lot.
No, but I was a person.
Oh, I think as a person, I don't know.
Actually, I can't speak to that.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
But I do love, you know, the Godfather.
And Arm the Waterfront.
I'm going to be controversial.
I do like on the waterfront.
I saw that in a film class.
But the Godfather.
Not a fan.
No.
Maybe it's because my dad loved it.
Maybe that's why I loved it.
Like my dad showed it to me when I was like 12 or 13.
Yeah, my dad never forced Godfather on me.
I did watch Total Recall when I was six.
And in Total Recall, if you're unfamiliar, which everyone should be, the only thing you
remember about that movie is there's an alien with three boobs.
And when I saw that as a six year old, I see this alien pull out three boobies, changes
my whole perception on what a human being can look like.
And up until probably 10, I was convinced women could have anywhere from two to fucking
five boobs.
Yes.
I was just like, I don't know, man.
The envelope was opened.
Inside was just an unknown amount, a quantity of boobs.
Anyone can have anything.
I was ready and disappointed later when I found out that it was just a two, one or none
deal.
Yes.
Two or less.
But come to think of it, I don't know if I really want to live in a three titty society.
That's too many.
I sound like a lot like Mike right now.
Yeah.
He would be, if I had to create a three titty society, I would make him president.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know where I'm going with that.
Mike.
I do think it's funny that a movie that he picked instead of having titties that had
full frontal male nudity.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
He's not even here.
He's not even here to talk about the movie.
I mean, he's always here.
He's just refusing to talk about it.
Anyway.
So, so yeah, this has full frontal male nudity in one of the most emasculating kind of scenes
of all.
I mean, yeah, we typically give movies.
This movie gets the most of thing and that would be the most emasculating moment I've
seen in a movie.
Yeah.
Where a fully stark naked cult leader is just standing there.
And I'm assuming it was cold outside.
He was just a trained actor.
He's like, no, you got to, I think you have to stay flaccid.
Yeah.
I think you have to.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know if, I don't know, like otherwise it's porn.
Yeah.
Like I don't know how that works in the movie industry, but you don't see a lot of erect
penises.
Yeah.
I think that it's too aggressive.
Yeah.
Which I think I'm okay with.
Yeah.
As a rule.
Yeah.
I'm trying to watch a movie.
I'm not one to censor things, but I'm okay with not seeing erect penises if I can help
it.
Yeah.
That even goes for me sometimes.
I just, I don't even want to see myself.
I'm just, what is this episode?
This is going to be an interesting one.
Yeah, fuck it.
I'm okay.
It's fucked.
It is fucked.
I'm fucking stoked.
Yeah.
I mean, this movie was weird and I just watched the whole thing this morning.
Yeah.
It felt like a bad acid trip.
Yeah.
And speaking to that, how much of the movie did you watch?
Well, by the way, since we're just going to get into it, ladies and gentlemen, we don't
like keeping you waiting longer than 24 minutes.
So here at the Fried Rice Podcast, so without further ado, let's talk about the movie.
Of choice, which is Mandy starring Nicolas Cage.
Let me pull up the stats.
That's synth music I played earlier was iconic.
By the way, if you're wondering why I was just screaming my whole shit, it's because
right before we started, Brennan, we'll get into this, but we replayed a scene.
I think the best Nick Cage acting I've ever seen in my fucking life was that bathroom
scene after Mandy, after the Mandy incident, which we'll get into.
But after that, bro, that would be, oh my God, if you see it, you see it at least.
It's just so.
That's how you would expect someone to react if they were hurt and angry.
That's, yeah, it was.
He was the only one acting, I felt.
Yeah, sorry, that was, fucking, this is such a good.
I'm surprised we've made it this far.
Into this.
Oh my God, we just keep going.
With just the two of us.
You could, yeah, you could put, we could save some for later.
Or we could just.
We're almost here now.
Fuck it, let's go.
Full set, ladies and gentlemen.
We're talking about Mandy.
Mandy, 2018, directed by Panos Cosmatos.
That's a cool sounding name, if that's how it's pronounced.
Even if it's not, I'm sure it's a cool sounding name.
I hope I didn't butcher that.
I should have looked it up.
But Panos Cosmatos is what it looks like.
Produced by Elijah Wood.
So he's in there.
It's kind of random.
Yeah.
She looked a lot like Andrea Riceboro.
Oh, she could.
Rice, that's cool.
We're almost related.
Almost.
In a way.
She's like, cause she's almost, she's the girl version of my first name.
Yeah.
And the fancy version of my last name.
So I'm Andy Rice, she's Andrea Riceboro.
Man, it's like if we were twins, we got parent trapped.
She's like, other second earth you.
That's what it is.
This is second earth me.
Are we the same age?
How old is she?
Why doesn't it show her age?
Oh, born.
No, it doesn't show.
It just says where she was born.
That's cool.
I didn't know you were allowed to do that on Wikipedia.
What the fuck?
All right, anyway.
Sorry guys.
Mandy, 2018.
It's.
I made it through all the slow parts and I didn't get to any of the good grittiness.
Yeah.
Look, the first 20, 30 minutes is just a first 45.
Yeah.
First 45 minutes is, is let's face it.
It's, it's, it's a bad acid trip.
It's a buildup.
Yeah.
It's, it's like you took acid and you're anticipating whatever's to come and it takes
some time.
It takes a while.
Sometimes it's quick.
It all feels.
Yeah.
None of it's good.
Like none of it feels like, no, no, no, no.
I mean, not like, not like quality was, but it's like, none of it feels good.
It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like not once it felt pretty good to
you know, getting to the hour so that it's important to keep that vision and
change after a first 45 minutes.
No, not once at all.
Yup.
Not like a, like no, it's like, no, no, listen to this.
No.
It's like.
Tell it to your mom.
Good Vis.
No, no.
Well, so this musher euchar constitutional scepticism is not something that's pretty
comedy.
We need to do this in the way that she needs to follow in the real show.
Right.
good god yeah uh... he
so it's basically just he's a
lumber guy
yeah lumber guy
so much necessarily he's got a helicopter back home like he's out in the
fucking woods right
83
or 87
is that what it was set? yeah it said eighty
it was sometime in the eighties i couldn't remember what year
i must have missed eighty three
the first i must have not seen the date but
yeah dude this
it's basically just a couple
the chick that looks a lot like uh... i think she looks like the girl from
the shining
in the shining
yeah
uh...
yeah the main actress from the shining
yeah i think they both look similar in this
yeah they kinda have that
the kinda big kinda buggy eyes
big eyes
like the hair was similar
like yeah anyway so she looks like that
like the girl from the
we shouldn't have smoked this whole thing
we're here now
oh we're so far i mean i'm so
past the
just
usually there's
other people we're sharing this with
anyway
there are a couple
a cult leader in a van
with his little cult
passes by
she's walking around
they see her
everything shot this dark heavy red light
and when they see here
he notices her she
she makes by contact with him
and he he he lost
yeah
he uh... uh...
yet
i'm just gonna say what this is one point five c
as they said i think that's the fucking way to go to show them
it's a slow movie it's two hours long it really should have been an hour and a
yeah
i mean look i'm sorry i've that's how i feel
it was a i know that a lot of people love this movie is uh...
it's a cult it's a cult classic
it's becoming a cult classic
i didn't watch it one point five
for any other reason that i was trying to rush it in this morning because i
that's what i should have done
had a rough week
and uh...
anyway
but look it's fucking i slowed it down for the uh... for the for anytime he
killed someone which so how is that part of the movie it's fucking awesome
anyways girlfriend gets brutally murdered in front of him in the one of
the most
one of the worst ways you can
i was thought that the braveheart one was pretty bad where they tire up and
slit her throat
that's a
way to watch your lover dot
also
the beginning of great part
right at the wedding where they take the bright away to go get raped
that
movie who
let's do
we seek and break would you do great
other rules against it
but we have to get a little bit of the plots
it's your show it is my show
i like your energy
i like this unrestricted
uh... work this guy's the fucking with which is not a lot of money for a moment
just let's go
let's just go on to teach and i got wikipedia
fucking right here
all the people holding you back
did something with fantasy art everything else is it's not a murder
room to store jerry we talked about that
but i just picked fantastic art it's a wikipedia link we could go tell us all
day it's broad and loosely defined art genre
so
this is a fucking picture called
the garden of earthly delight delights
in madrid
we could look at this thing
solutions
working
and
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yep
all
and you know bring the puppet out you know. Holy shit just for reference that
picture I clicked which was already a big super clear picture. I have I have
good internet yeah it it's right now feels like 1993 and I'm trying to
download a picture of Pamela Anderson's boobs before your parents before they
walk in I just heard keys yeah and I'm like fuck and now I'm trying to close
the tab but you know how it can be yeah it wants to finish that picture and then
I'm thinking monitor but am I gonna break it or what am I doing a hard turnoff
and then she's like what are you doing back here in the computer room with the
computer off getting paper computer paper I need to draw I'm drawing mom I'm drawing.
Yeah okay well this loads all right I'm just kidding that's well I wasn't we can do anything we want sky's the limit.
Sky's the limit. Fuck it all right well we'll get maybe we will okay we'll look at this later oh god
religious cult all right Ocarina he blows a mystical Ocarina known as the
horn of a Braxis I know that he asked for the horn of a Braxis yeah oh wait you
didn't get to that part oh yeah okay so you didn't finish it. I made it like
while I was while I was waiting for you to get home I made it to the point where
she died and that was that was where I made it to because I because I had to
stop it last night. I'm tempted to pause this recording and show you all the
gruesome killings and then come back in ten minutes you down okay ladies and
gentlemen real quick this would be cool because we're gonna have a there's gonna
be outro music shit I closed it for some reason what did I look up
free free use yeah there we go let's go baby
yeah yeah this is the one all right guys we're about to go no we'll do a
different song this is the intro music let's uh Knight of the Creeps
all right stranger things what's up we'll be right back with having done a better
job at this podcast
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
special alert broadcast from some sort of timey wimey thing to be brand new
service is it better than crackle you betcha is it better than Pluto that's
not even a planet anymore you've been listening to people watching to be who
said that okay before we left
we just got more stoned and watched did a proper breakdown so Brendan now has
more of an idea what this move so now different impressions more impressions
it's it's definitely like a bad acid trip of the movie I only watched the boring
parts and I missed you know all the fun but that's what this movie watch it in
1.5 oh yeah so so I oh my god I forgot we were watching it in one point so I
literally last I don't even know how long that was for you guys no time at
all but for for us you know whatever I should probably write down when that
break wasn't put some sort of buffer so it's not just an abrupt blah blah because
I don't know what Jesse's not you know contributing because he's here I'm gonna
put commercial break that would be a good time for if we take commercials
yes we're gonna pause for just a moment yes do a commercial come back oh man do
we should do a fake you know what we should do a fake ad all right ladies and
gentlemen you're about to know if we follow through on that but you would
already know because if you heard a fake ad before we came into this it's well
or we have to do a fake one first but then we could put real ones in this is
a fake buffer or real buffer anyway you'll figure it out or we won't and
this is gonna be pointless to even talk about so fucking Brendan you ripped my
shirt we had to play that three times to put subtitles on because that was that
that seemed better than putting it to normal time it would it's such a slow
movie I look I get it entire movie is supposed to be a cinematic fucking acid
trip in the worst way possible that scene that you made me rewatch or you
pointed out where the faces are transitioning I think I wasn't I think I
just drone I zoned out a little bit because it was the guy talking and I
think I was you know unfolding laundry whatever but that was a trip like if I
would man should you ever watch this on acid no no because no good can come from
that right yeah you probably end up killing someone if you if you watch this
and did acid because you get your head that everyone was like gonna kill your
your girlfriend or something like yeah just enjoy conversation fucking Nick
Cage rages out that's my that might be one of my top movies does allow him to
be his craziest self which is fun do you that's me yeah that's that's definitely
fun like he has some fun moments with his face covered in blood making some
awesome Nick Cage facial expressions oh yeah that last that last ending part
where he's in the car having his final drive-through and he's covered in blood
and he looks at the camera fully grinning yeah that's iconic I'm sure
that that's one of the pictures you Google this thing and it pops up so it's
a you guys know what this movie is it's a brutal revenge it's revenge in a way
that hasn't I haven't seen before which is just straight-up acid violence yes
and you don't know what's real the bikers look like monsters but I think
they're just probably big you know we probably even saw them in that now I
think about it in that flashback where we see him thinking about how him and
him and her met him and Mandy met they might have been at that bar they might
have been those dudes in the back we don't know I might be overthinking it
but oh I don't know if this is true point out in the comments below if it if
but the chainsaw guy at the end is he one of the dudes that he worked with in
the beginning we didn't go check that out okay so let's look at some trivia
yeah I like that let's go to IMDB they do all the work for us you could do this
yourself ladies and gentlemen but you're gonna listen to it for you this is on
Nick Cage describes his performances inspiration only just before shooting
his 14 year marriage to Alice Kim cage came to a sudden end which was a
shocker for me which I didn't see coming and those feelings had to go somewhere
so they went into my performance oh yeah they fucking did yeah what happened
there man do you think she cheated on it's always cheating whoa what this was
a okay I never I don't look at for I don't really look at paparazzi stuff
yeah I mean when I google image search to see what an actor looks like if I
recognize them I don't need to look at what they looked like at the Met Gala
2018 or blah I don't care right and I don't really care who people are married
to typically I'm never I've never seen this person before Alice Kim cage is she
an actress known for girl with necklace no well she's been in three things
grindhouse lead gong gong girl okay werewolf women of the SS and then lead
gong girl oh okay and then girl with necklace okay so no anyway back to this
the guy who plays the chemist Richard Blake revealed on Twitter that in an
early draft of the script the Bengal tiger was a lizard breaking counted that
when you arrived on set Panos Cosmonaut said oh by the way Lizzie's a tiger now
that's fun yeah you do the next one according to this one according to
co-writer Aaron Stewart when he paid when he and the director presented Mandy
at the Cain's Film Festival the director described it as a film about the death
of his parents Jesus I'm gonna give you all the dark trivia from now on oh yeah
the weapon forged by red was inspired by legendary metal band Celtic Frost logo
and now you do the next one the song Jeremiah Jeremiah sand plays in the
scene where he tries to seduce Mandy is called amulet amulet of the weeping
maze and was actually released in real life on the music site band camp
becoming a bestseller on the site shortly after the film came out also on
the single is a 17 minute track of the style of an interview called my journey
which details sans life and his views on the world and God
listen to this please be here we go
yeah oh boy I don't know if I'm legally allowed to play this but that was two
seconds of wait let's see if I can get that karaoke version this is good
podcasting for anyone oh here it's a cover we could probably do this yeah
alright well listen to that at the end ladies and gentlemen sorry to keep you
in suspense alright now we're not gonna do all the trivia that's the trivia for
Mandy there's probably more here's the how to do box office wise let's check
the stats Jack this is an IMDB it only has a six point five on rotten tomatoes
though hey how's that picture doing that a giant fucking do I have a different
browser I think it's this I think it's just blinks green that refuse or it's so
zoomed in I'm on a pupil of an eye yeah yeah okay well shit we'll just keep that
do its thing oh did you ever see brawl and night and cell block 99 if this
shit's on 2b I think I might want to do this but then oh no I think I broke the
internet with that picture look how slow it's fucking moving
all right I get it let me close this shit yeah I got my AI thing for the I've got
Mandy open for one thing oh by the way everybody pro tip if you're watching 2b
on your computer with chrome at least you can get the 2b speeder and it gives
you the it lets you adjust the speed so on your phone you watch 2b it has it
it's playback you can watch it on your phone one point you can all the way up
to right yeah but it's not on the not on chrome like not for whatever reason
it's a pro tip I'm not that guy I'm not the PC guy I don't know how box office
did but that looks good looks a lot like Andy Sambury anyway Alex okay yeah oh
shit here we go ladies and gentlemen the the most podcast thing of all time is I
loaded incredibly high resolution picture of some something it's oh wow
okay holy shit I like over here this section it's a painting somewhere this
is insane it's called the garden of earthly to delights by Bosch by Bosch and
it's pretty insane there's a bird holding a torch holding the hand of a
naked man leaving him around a little plate with maybe an onion on it oh my
god yeah the plate is bouncing on top of a man's head he's looking at something
but I literally can't I can't tell oh wait hold on oh shit look at that can you
see it
has a hole with the house in it I don't know what to fucking tell you but I mean
this is this yeah there's a lot to unpack this is one of the most intricate
that's probably why it's Wikipedia's first thing that they show you or
someone's being a dick where they're like they know that Graham grandma
there was no we went to fantasy art remember okay but I I think this is like
this is probably a prank I get it it's fantasy art right it really is there's
I mean there's so much going on this holy shit can I make this my background
can I save this shit how big is this fucking file let's see 223 megabytes for
a jpeg that's a big picture maybe I can open it up better in my in like the
computer processing powers better than the internet or about oh wait is this
better oh this is fuck way better okay let's close that that's gonna closing
this on Wikipedia's gonna fucking fix everything all right we're back on
Wikipedia tangents we can do anything we want let's spark up there smoke this hit
let's take a hit let's we'll start this fucking thing up let's go I just saw a
word called winter's flocking wetlands or world landscapes of northern
Renaissance that's where we're going next baby this will probably be the Andy
Christmas oh this might be this is a week before Christmas maybe with the way
we've been fucking really stable sorry for the listeners out there there was a
week this is what you were talking about continuity yes this is a apology way too
late for the listeners because this should happen in real time last week in
this week where the pod didn't upload in time I'm sorry there's just been you
know the scheduling where we got new people you know people in people out it's
a it's a business you guys get it so we're doing the best we can and anyway
here we are this is probably gonna be the Christmas special
I open it with actually no you know what we've done in the past is we've done a
double episode I don't know if we if we if we cut this one we can go straight
into just you and I Christmas special yeah because I don't think we can this
is some inside shit I'm so sorry guys let's like halfway through to make it a
Christmas episode fuck it let's no one's here
Christmas special all right here we go this is gonna change the fucking vibe
all right
Christmas man oh Christmas Christmas karaoke the magic sauce of how I find
these songs all right let's let's find let's find what I actually like I'm not
just gonna do you know what my favorite one is maybe you can help me it's those
it's like kind of a punky it's chick singing it's not like it's it's something
Christmas oh come on it's on the tip of my tongue it's it's like punky it's oh
boy I'm gonna sound like an idiot later fuck it I'll just click Christmas
karaoke rock I don't that'll at least narrow it down except all it is jingle
bell rock of course all it is what did I fucking expect when I type in karaoke
Christmas rock yeah all right fuck okay how about I do punk song punk song it's
not really punk though I'm gonna get a lot of shit for calling it punk if we
have any punk bands I just don't know what my kids are like in the Christmas
song from Guardians of the Galaxy right now that's they've been because we just
watched the Christmas special that's such a good special I just watched that
recently in the summer
yeah all right
here we go everybody Merry Christmas we're starting the episode jingle bells motherfuckers all right so it's
Christmas time episode within an episode what is that called in
Shakespeare they do it what play is that I think it's Midsummer Night's Dream or
is it Midsummer's Night's Dream I've always gotten that mixed up I should
know it a midsummer night's dream okay I think that's grammatically makes the
most sense but what is a play within a play called because we're gonna call
this I need a you know we need to add this did you start this please do it
doesn't have a name oh it's called a meta drama oh god this whole fucking
podcast is called a meta drama and then it's not a comedy it's just a sad drama
if you really just listen to the fine line of just yeah it's a it's a cry for
help from your friend Andy the 12 people that listen thank you for listening yes
indulging my fucking fantasies you're enabling me and whatever what are we
gonna do this is infused with diamonds the one we're smoking now so Christmas
time some Christmas tree all right so what's your favorite part about are you
a fan when you're done cop I'm a fan I like the season a lot yeah I like the
whole month after after Thanksgiving I mean I like lead up to Thanksgiving to
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday but as time goes on Christmas is becoming
more and more important kind of like kind of like when we were like a kid you
know the excitement comes back now that I have kids and I get to watch them go
through the joys that I went through and you know I end up spending way you know
more money than I should but it's it's fun I enjoy it right I've been on the I
don't know I haven't been flush with cash you know I'm survived I'm doing
good kids some kids toys are cheap you can my wife's thrifty she's a Ross and
stuff I have a niece and nephew shout out to them I don't know I don't want to
give out their names their minors I don't want to I don't want you weirdos to
stalk them I'm looking at you Brad I don't know I don't know anyone named
Brad so that's a safe name to fuck call out now but if we ever get if this ever
gets listened to by a bread talking you buddy stay off the internet so we
Christmas let's okay since we didn't necessarily want should we pause it and
watch a Christmas movie should we pause it and watch a Christmas commercial and
review that ladies and gentlemen for the second time ever second course we're
gonna have to do fake ads for this so a lot of work for us but here we go three
two and spring be be be be be be be be be sticking with it what from the from
the past no fuck it I don't like the old-timey thing anymore this is just an
ad for Reese's bitch it's Reese's take five their slogan is the best bar you
never heard of everything you love like nothing you've ever tasted I've never
had a Reese's take five who the fuck keeps interrupting me
we're on chain ladies and gentlemen here's another ad break what do you do
this game hey listeners at all this is Andy from the future the Andy Rice yeah
the one that you're listening to right now in the past I am sort of in the
future it's weird how time works so it's it's linear but it's not because you're
anyway February 16th 2024 at a well at a location that I can't put on air but if
you go to the fried rice podcast at Instagram or fried rice yeah you get it
if you go there I'm killing it if you go there you can find out the location but
it's gonna be there's gonna be a fried rice podcast live in front of a live
studio audience you heard us right it's gonna be stand-up comedy and then
directly after stand-up comedy with me I'm gonna be doing stand-up comedy you
can come see me it's gonna be in Arizona make some plans get on out here we're
right across from Laughlin go get yourself some rooms February 16th it's
gonna be a blast looking forward to seeing you there I'm gonna show my tits
there okay this is getting out of hand I asked for fucking silence when I was
making these and who the fuck keeps talking
every year as always fried rice special fried rice podcast whatever we do a
Christmas special midway through a Nick Cage movie starting a tradition that
will be carried on for every Christmas special to go I'd kick out most of the
cast I just pick one person we do a deep dive we pause and we do a lot more stuff
out I mean like we weren't going outside watching these dogs argue with each
other that doesn't sound exciting it was enough that I got a video of it I won't
share it because now that I'm thinking about it it's just two dogs barking at
each other but it seemed personal god all right so Christmas Christmas this is
a probably the best time of the year they say that all the time what's okay
so let's get into it best Christmas in my mind would be your Norman Rockwell
painting of just a middle-class home on a snowy street in the mid-east with some
you know the you just had a booming trick-or-treat economy going on because
the houses in the house is not a trunk-or-treat situation it's a it's
like trick-or-treat you and like you decorate your house and there's a lot of
fun and then you you know you had a great Thanksgiving the family came over
it was a little too crowded they stayed a little too long you're over it you're
back to your core family the ones you love the most and you know and then you
you you have Christmas it's snowing the family's inside you all come out in your
pajamas you know the kids you know running around I mean I don't have kids
but I'm just painting like this is like this is like the typical typical ideal
Christmas right and and then everyone gets the presents they want they get
some clothes they don't they grim that one present each that they they didn't
they couldn't care less for because they their parents misread the situation when
they looked at the commercial they're like oh that's that's so cool then what
they were looking at was the the relationship between the son and father
in the commercial not necessarily the the toy itself they just wanted you to
spend more time with them but you were at the store buying them things that
yeah you get it speaking of which um it wouldn't be fried rice podcast if we
didn't review things and so what Brandon and I did because we had a little bit of
a short notice thanks to me well thanks to me I fuck everything up if you're
one of my friends you're well aware of this you I have such a track record I
don't think there's a single person in my contacts on my phone that doesn't
have a story of me letting them down in some way you know what I mean yeah I
don't know what that says about me as a person but hey we're a 26 27 episode
strong but only now on an altered we've only missed one week you know kind of
my fault I should have been more proactive with getting the getting the
the file from from where it needed to get get from you know what I'm talking
about doesn't matter this is bullshit it's Christmas special all right so let
me take this hit tell me you're tell me is that's now that's an ideal picture
movie Christmas what for you is the specific the traditions that you like to
do set up the Brennan household Christmas what do you do starting in
December Thanksgiving just ended you had a wonderful time I'm gonna have a
cracker while you talk every year my wife earlier and earlier and trying to
bring the tree out earlier and earlier I've kind of convinced her to wait until after
Thanksgiving dinner especially because we host and we have some family over do
Thanksgiving I'm like we wouldn't really it'd be tight with the big tree in the
corner so let's wait until afterwards so she's agreed to that okay and so as soon
as Thanksgiving's done it's Christmas in the house there's Christmas sense in
everything and every single little air freshener in the house everything's
getting decorated some years my wife will have me you know hang up Christmas
lights and stuff like that but like we don't really have any outlets outside of
our house so this year I'm kind of like off the hook
okay yeah the one that way using the garage like the search broke and I haven't
fixed it yet are you gonna alternate any inflatables into the situation yeah
maybe like once we kind of once we find our kind of like you know more forever
home that's kind of when we'll start doing that bringing those traditions into
the household but I don't know my favorite is Christmas Day like Christmas
Day is always fun we wake up kind of whenever the kids wake up and I mean now
they're getting old enough to kind of get more excited about it and they're
kind of now they're both at like all three of my kids are you know my oldest
is kind of kind of fading out of it a little bit he's a teenager and then the
two young ones are now says he's fading out of it he loves it he still loves it
he still loves it you got to give him you got to let him give him space but
yeah let him let him just it will you know because I remember my parents used
to take me to Griswold's theater which was in Claremont which was a really
nice dinner theater and they did a Christmas play each year yeah it wasn't
like a wasn't always like a sappy you know 1950s thing or whatever it was it
was cool there were Christmas songs that were modern whatever okay I liked it so
they were all like the nutcracker no no you weren't watching um you're watching
Frosty the Snowman the play or whatever you're watching like Christmas time you
know Christmas time at the mall that's probably never something I should look
at it's always just like Christmas play I don't I never really you get there it's
fantastic they practice all I mean it's very well done everyone I saw it was
great but the point is at the end Santa comes out every time regardless of the
story I mean it's almost predictable I mean like what's the thrills if you're
going to play you know the ending is gonna be Santa saves the day yeah I wish
they changed it once to like Satan says you know like shake it up it's another
red red character magic powers that can appear anywhere on earth at any point
time and knows if you've been naughty or nice
dude I wish that they made that they had the balls to break the Harry Potter
universe like that and give us like a more mature rated in that universe
because wizards exist that's fucking cool yeah be an order be an order
solving a murder like a cool fucking magic related murder and you have to
follow ridiculous sets of clues traveling through London and the back
streets of London so you basically just building in a London and then you're
giving us like you're giving us wizard London in the back like you're giving
us like Diagon Alley you're giving us other London places because that's the
one we've all seen stuff that's iconic you can go in the back but you can also
go down to the more sketch one you would have to like interrogate people
yeah how I mean listen if you're listening W whoever makes these fucking
games that's a good idea go make that shit I'll help write it alrighty I mean
that's the groundwork we I mean we got it like some dark shits going on you got
cultists you got a or we think are just cultists but it's more than that it's
like a Moriarty motherfucker behind it all yeah but then he's getting his you
know you know he's he's just an illusion because really it's someone at Hogwarts
and it all brings it back to of course you got to have an iconic battle in for
in the front gates that leads into Hogwarts like he breaks open the curse
you see students running away you have to do everything you can to stop him
he's too powerful and he's fucking blowing through things or she or she I
mean I don't care I don't know how I don't know how I don't care this could
be in the this could be absolutely in the Hogwarts legacy universe spin off of
that game just like make it 1800s early 1900s just like this episode that'll
have a Christmas theme right in the middle of the game I would I love I'll
say that video games Christmas which is seasons I that was so good we had a
Christmas season yeah that was so wonderful listen guys if you haven't
played I don't care how much of a gamer you really are I mean I do leave in the
comments tell me all about it I'd love to hear it but if you game get that
Harry Potter game that Hogwarts one it's phenomenal like it feels you feel like a
wizard you jump on your broom you fly anywhere you want magic is easy to use
it's even if you don't play very many games you have to beat it yeah oh I mean
it has a good ending that's a good story like everyone wants a sequel it's that
good it's like people I just a buddy of mine just sent me a message again people
were off the fucking chains anything that happens to spread it in a tangent
city baby my buddy sent me a semi elite today it was a the WB they were saying
that they were gonna go more live service game aspect for the games that
they're developing but which is I'm not happy of but the Wonder Woman game that
they're making is going to be a single-player narrative action game so
people that's gonna be exciting Wonder Woman is OP like she's super powerful
she's fast like she's she's probably near superman yeah exactly yeah and she's
cool like we've seen Superman to death yeah Wonder Woman has Themyscira that
we can explore right like of course this I'm gonna watch this this is a this is
um what is it November 18th 2023 the Wonder Woman game is gonna open with it
almost identical to the fucking movies oh no it's probably gonna have you're
definitely gonna have flashbacks to Themyscira young Diana training that
might even be your tutorial on how the game works is gonna be God it's gonna be
a God of War clone and that's fine God of War probably 2018 style clone which
is cool or are you thinking more open world
maybe like maybe kind of like that because that's kind of how the Arkham games are and those are so
successful why would they branch out hmm you know why would they change I mean do
something like that style of action and gameplay but open world you know yeah
like kind of like how the Arkham series got towards the end well actually the
whole time it was pretty open world and you know what speaking of Arkham everyone shits on Arkham Knight
I love Arkham Knight that Batmobile alone yeah if they just built a batmobile game and charged me
$30 for it and it was that in that city I wouldn't have been pissed at all they
would have added more probably fighting stuff to do yeah that would be cool but
they said I read an article because the Arkham Knight came out on the newer
consoles from the previous ones yeah and I think like Arkham City came out on
Xbox 360 yeah I think you did I think X but it came out okay so it came out on
Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 and then the other one the previous ones came out on
the original Xbox that sounds right to me and we and stuff okay they said that
the Batmobile alone if in order for that to run they would need an entire Xbox
360 like worth of room data capabilities just to make it run and I
thought that when I read that I was like at the time I was like that's fucking
cool that this that that's how graphics that's how media moves forward how games
push forward is that one year it's here's an entire game and now it's like
that entire game would need to fuel just one fucking aspect of this new game
that's a big aspect of it it's pretty cool so while we took a break and got
more high for some reason we kept smoking instead of just doing what we
were fucking supposed to do Jesus Christ we have to do so many ads probably an
hour wow nice okay this is this might be the most manageable fucking episode not
from our perspective we've been there for hours but yeah anyway we reviewed
some fun Christmas stuff um you know what I didn't get to show you any
Christmas stuff that's true you know what let's pause it one more time on a
completely unrelated this is Andy again on a completely unrelated it's like if
you didn't already know because you've been listening to the podcast for a
while it's my voice is pretty stupid but in a completely unrelated note to the
last ad that you just heard nothing to do with the last ad whatsoever but I do
a lot of stand-up comedy at the Miracle Mile event center over here in Bullhead
City so if you want to maybe like look into events taking place there's a
stand-up comedy show actually taking place there February 16th on a Friday
night where you can yeah and if you want to get tickets use promo code
no I'm gonna let you sit in the awkward silence Mike you can't tell me what to
do on my fucking show Mike had this grand plan where I was gonna be his
little puppet but no Mike you sit there in it sit in the awkward silence that's
the ad that's gonna live on forever you son of a bitch use promo code your
fucking mom anyway Miracle Mile event center see you there this isn't even hey guys
hey how does Santa get to so many houses in one night who knows is he
watching you sleep is he watching you masturbate before going to sleep
creepy Santa's creepy welcome back ho ho ho and how do you do the bah-humbug
there we go that's the song I was thinking of earlier if that was
recorded welcome back to the last commercial we didn't make it two minutes
I think anyway we still have to do ads okay ladies and gentlemen we just
reviewed a lot of Christmas we're gonna give them quick little reviews yeah yeah
we were I've clipped them all up here that's why you have so many I know God
you and your windows let me close them all all right that one's going away that
one goes away so now I won't know what I was thinking about her yeah here we go
here we go we got we watched oh my god we started with I typed in Christmas
commercial and the one that popped up was this this this boy this dad and
they're listening to a song in like the 70s and then they listen again on like a
ring ring tone for another one and then like it's just real sad it's been super
famous it's got you know a few minutes called the seasons best holiday ad yeah
B-O-U-Y-G-U-E-S Christmas still awesome in 2023 it's still awesome and you know
what we both teared up we cried a little bit both of us because it's a sad you
know what you have young boys I just spent a week with my dad it's sadder
than that scene and Guardians 2 I'm your daddy right I didn't mean to look you
right in the eyes when I said your daddy I was totally focused over here the whole
time made direct eye contact said I'm your daddy you moved on all right I'm
not though I don't want to be your daddy if you needed a daddy this weird we also
recommend it we watched on your recommendation 12 days of Christmas by
Bob and Doug McKenzie from the great great white north that was funny had
beer and a beer very it's funny if you're just looking for things it's 12
days of Christmas Bob and Doug McKenzie you guys will like it and then Christmas
rapping is the song I was thinking of earlier it's that kind of punky girls
seeing it we watched we dropped dropping in the Yule log on YouTube which with KLS
who's what's the 98 point what was it
California radio show so I was on a talk show once like no I mean I like that I
called in a talk radio and the purse so when I called the question was what do
Americans spend like one week of their life doing and each year I was like oh
man that's a good one I thought waiting at red lights if you accumulate all the
time yeah and I called in and they said all right Andy hold on and then when
the guys like hey we got a caller on the line so what do you think and I said
stopping at red light and I heard an echo and the voice my voice sounded a
little different and I was like okay and then after the ladies like all right
you'll be up in just a moment and I was like wait what and it was someone else
said the same answer as me right before me and while I was waiting and then it
got to me and I didn't have an answer and I was like I was gonna say the red
light thing and then I look like an idiot so there's a select group of
people at 2 a.m. Monday Sunday night or whatever fucking think I'm a goofball
how old were you that's funny I was like grown man this is last week
oh you know what the coolest one of the coolest radio things besides I've won
tickets like three times calling in to K-Rock okay I was at that the traffic
Armageddon Carmageddon is what they called it that one day where they closed
the two biggest freeways we had and then they forced everyone in I got stuck in
that because my work ran late and I the ad came up about six times I called I
got through and I won backstage tickets to the offspring concert not offspring
yeah offspring those fucking bad religion
who else Pennywise bad religion they might have been offspring fucking it was
dope though it was really fun concert but anyway that's the kind of luck you got
yeah you know what's stopping me with these tangents now it's like I feel like
an old man in a retirement home just relaxing nostalgia and you're just my
buddy go like yeah you tell me all right and then we watched oh then we watched
goofy Christmas special just the beginning just getting a little bit of
the spirit then we watched more than we ever anticipated of the Disney Channel
original movie Christmas dot dot dot again yeah it seemed like you were
enjoying it so I was just letting go wow okay I mean I wasn't enjoying it I just
enjoyed roasting it yeah it was a fun movie to watch because it's a it's a
typical Groundhog's Day yeah style we meet yeah except it's like a genie
Friday yeah freaky yeah it's like your typical team has to relive but what the
important thing is it really none of this really matters there's hockey which
I thought Brendan would like but apparently I enjoyed it more than he did
I guess that was just he was indulging me for the last I was skipping through
his bad it was bad okay well it was just stunt people jumping into each other on
ice but there was a candy cane there was a candy cane scene where they asked the
she's walking by and some people win a thousand dollars and she's like how much
how many candy canes were in the candy cane thing and before she answered
Brendan I just took a guess based on I did it mathematically Brendan just wild
guess Brendan's guess 588 my guess even 1600 is again math and here's the
answer this number of candy canes in that snowman they won the raffle 17,000
five hundred and thirty six nine thousand red eight thousand five hundred
and thirty six agree so basically I won but you missed by zero yeah I missed by
a whole zero so yeah none of us were close please don't copyright strike me
for that fighting bullshit anyway review what do we think we don't have to
review them all we talked about we said what we watched we said they're all right we were there you don't have to watch
Christmas again that was a bullshit would not recommend would not you take
greens on this one it's bad it leads the leads hockey hockey first but I don't
mean the first 30 minutes are not hockey maybe she ends up on the she ends up on
the Santa versus elves team there's a grown man grown stuntmen playing you're
running into each other you're gonna huh I saw a comic recently say that not every
Rudy is a Rudy you know there's a thousand people just getting their asses
handed to them if they try to compete in football in high school they're like
tiny or college or whatever right fucking go with this but anyway
Christmas my I love we have ads to do we have to record some ads so um well
this is gonna be one of the shortest yet the longest produced we put so much
more effort into this we've added 20 minutes with an hour of us fucking
around causing this thing so many times I'm so sorry no we can keep talking we
have a little bit of time right yeah fuck I could do ads without you I guess
I'd rather just have you here present for the next 15 minutes if we can 20
minutes that's just what's your favorite Christmas movies outside the box of the
ones that are like yeah because Christmas story everyone loves yeah which
is great there's no reason not to love it yeah but like what's the one you go
out of your way to watch maybe won't everyone won't jump on board with I can
obscure yeah if there are any my wife's I mean Christmas vacation is my wife's
favorite and like I love it too but that's not I wouldn't say that obscure
so I like all the classics obviously all the classics are really good all right
well bad Santa Scrooge Scrooge oh I was taught by a when I went to an acting
camp by one of the guys in Christmas with the craigs he was the neighbor the
one gets frozen to the roof John short his small soldiers is
technically a Christmas movie right is it it's around Christmas time think that
at least I thought it was Christmas time whoo small soldiers now they made did
you see that red small soldiers fan made thing no I didn't see that oh my god we
can't pause we really can't really get those all just notes that you've taken
from oh yeah so we know it's oh yeah by the way I wrote notes for the shit that
we were doing that we just move back
what the fuck are we doing?
oh let's finish this joint I hope people enjoy listening to this as much as we've enjoyed making it
oh my god oh there's no way at least it's shorter for them
Oh man.
That's torture.
Oh man.
Ugh.
Okay.
Let's leave some cigarettes to your couch.
So here's some notes for that movie no one's going to watch.
Christmas dot dot dot again.
She had a list of her top five Christmas memories.
This will take place.
There's probably a significant plot in the movie.
But here they are in no particular order except at number five is Christmas Around the World
exhibit at the museum.
Number four is the pier.
Number three is the Christmas versus elves hockey game.
Number one is the Winter Rama, Winterland Festival, whatever the fuck.
But number two is the big platform thingy.
And I think what's the story about that?
I think that's a more interesting Christmas movie than her repeating the day and winning
some candy cane competition when she eats too many candy canes.
That space was too small for that many candy canes.
It was.
Write in the comments below if you're the prop designer or writer of Christmas Again
for Disney and let us know what the fuck you were thinking with that candy cane scene you
monsters.
What else?
Oh, Santiversary was a word I heard and I liked it.
Yes.
This is a test of the broadcasting system.
No we haven't.
We can do a Christmas movie.
Let's do a Christmas movie.
Fuck them.
We're going to look at this underrated, oh we have to go to Tubi.
Oh shit.
You can get straight off of Tubi for this week only.
As a Christmas present.
As a Christmas present I guess I'm going to yet again disenfranchise the poor but as a
Christmas present to all my affluent friends, affluent friends that can afford whatever
streaming site that we happen to pick.
Here we go.
What would you like to watch out of this?
These are actually maybe a little even too.
They're all good.
I mean Christmas movies.
Yeah Christmas movies.
These are maybe a little too well known.
They've been reviewed to death.
Maybe Tubi is the way to go.
Harold and Kumar Christmas.
I love the Harold and Kumar Christmas and that is so right up our alley.
Where do we watch that?
I don't know what it's on anymore.
Harold and Kumar Christmas.
It might not be on anything.
Probably Netflix.
Damn it.
That's right.
2011.
Are we that old?
Yeah.
We are.
Okay.
Fuck.
It's only fucking.
It's not on Netflix.
It says Netflix but it's not.
Remind Me.
What the fuck Remind Me?
Let me watch it.
No?
Alright guys.
This again.
You know how we do.
We have the most boring podcast in moments because it's just us Googling things and the
fucking thing.
We're going to go to Tubi.
We're going to do this the right way.
We're going to watch some fucking bullshit.
We love you Tubi.
You sponsor us.
You guys have great content.
I mean honestly there's a lot of really.
I'm looking at Eraser right now and you can watch Classic Doctor Who.
I'm looking at the top shit right here.
There's a movie called Flying Saucer Rock and Roll that looks amazing.
I'm about to add to my favorites.
We might watch that later guys.
Alright.
Let's type in Christmas.
Let's pick.
I mean it's going to force.
This is where we have the power now.
I'm not going to be here next week.
Oh man.
You have even more incentive to pick whatever the fuck you want.
Let's pick something that looks reasonably okay.
Yeah I'd rather not punish everybody.
Christmas time.
I don't want anything with kids and family.
Let's go with filters.
Is there a filter for this shit?
No.
I mean Tubi you're great but add a filter so I can take out.
Oh Christ.
Okay.
Good call.
Christmas break in we looked at.
That looked stupid.
I mean whoever made it I'm sure you did a great job.
But it's just not for us.
It's not our demographic.
Christmas cartoon Wonderland.
Oh.
I can take Christmas fucking.
Mama.
We're going to just let that ad go while we talk because trust me you guys have had enough
ads by now.
Christmas comes but once a year.
Jack Frost.
Jingle Bells.
Christmas night.
Oh little town of Santa Clara.
Lovely.
Okay.
This is something you watch with the family.
You literally watch this with your kids.
Well let's see the animation first.
Yeah I speak.
I get real excited about things.
Just by reading the description.
And then it's like I've got to see what it looks like first.
All right.
It's got to.
It looks old as fuck.
I don't know if I'm allowed to show though.
Whatever.
This almost looks.
Oh this is old.
Old.
Oh it's a Max Fleischer cartoon.
He did the first Superman cartoon.
Oh boy.
Really old.
I bet I could turn this up.
The copyright claims that people are dead.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
All right.
Let's.
This is back when that was the only animation style.
Oh Jack Frost.
He has a good design for Jack Frost.
I would have been impressed if I was a kid at this time.
I'd be freaked out by him you know.
Leave that bear alone.
What Satan comes by and fucks around?
So there's a bear trapped in a little ice prison and now.
Oh my god.
This is.
We're not doing this one.
To the top of the ports.
To the top of the walls.
Now dash away.
Dash away.
Wall their holes.
Wait is this.
Look at this chick right here.
This is terrible podcasting.
But look at this chick right here.
I don't know.
I don't mind this animation.
It kind of looks like the Iron Giant.
Okay fuck.
We need to get back on track.
What?
Some Christmas shit.
Is this why you need visual?
Yeah you got it.
That was good.
Good call.
How about this one?
No.
Let's stop getting.
Let's get away from cartoons.
I'm just fucking wrecked right now.
Christmas.
Dude do we stick with horror?
No.
Let's get away from horror for just one week.
Christmas on Division Street looks boring as fuck.
It's a good documentary.
What was the unlikely friendship between a bullied teenage schoolboy and the unhomed
American history buff he wants to help before Christmas?
So it's a bullied kid that homeless men become friends.
Is this them?
I think so.
Is that Fred Savage?
No.
That's Fred Savage.
Is that Fred Savage?
Yeah it is.
So this is a movie about a boy becoming friends with a homeless guy.
You suck my dick.
This looks bad.
This should not be meeting up with a man in the alley boy.
Give me a neuter.
I need both of you boys.
Oh he's going to help him figure it out.
That's actually a contender.
That's a contender.
Because it looks like a weird Christmas movie with a weird name that I've never heard of
that's just random.
It's got Fred Savage.
Michael hate it.
I'll call that out now.
He's going to hate it.
By the way, when I was thinking earlier of him being president of Tittyville or Tittyland,
I think he'd be a fair president.
A fair president.
I think he'd be good.
He'd rule with an even-titty hand.
You know what I'm talking about?
Fuck.
There's not a lot of Christmas stuff on here.
There really isn't.
It's not your fault, Tubi.
It's just these companies.
They know that Christmas is their money ticket right there.
It's all Hallmark stuff.
We could do Christmas twister.
It is there.
It's part of it.
This is so bad guys.
I'm so sorry.
We usually have this locked and loaded.
Shit.
Christmas on the block.
No.
Christmas for a dollar?
No.
Come on, man.
Help me.
I'm still saying straight out, Tubi, from this week.
All right.
Fine.
You're absolutely right.
We tried.
We fucking tried, people.
I'm so sorry.
We need to get going.
We only have 10 minutes.
Oh my God.
Nine eight.
No one last.
We got to fucking move.
Christmas movies.
Come on.
Let's go.
Christmas movies.
Let's go.
Come on.
We got too high.
Oh man.
Okay.
Popular Christmas streaming media movies.
Top picks for me.
Oh, Eight Fucking Crazy Nights is probably my favorite Christmas movie.
Where do we watch it?
Hulu.
Tubi.
No.
What?
There we go.
Eight Crazy Nights.
That's the movie, everybody.
Eight Crazy Nights.
It was Destiny.
Why didn't it pop up?
I don't know.
If I typed Hanukkah, would it have popped up?
Yeah.
If I could have spelled Hanukkah, I would have.
We could have put holiday movies, maybe.
You know what?
If this doesn't pop up, if I type in holiday movies, I'm going to, you know.
Yeah.
I'm going to sue.
Holiday movies.
All right.
How far do we have to go?
We're going to have to go to the movies.
We're going to go to the movies.
Holiday movies.
All right.
How far do we have to go?
How far do we have to go to get Eight Crazy Nights?
It's not there.
It's not even there.
All right.
How do you spell Hanukkah?
Does it start with a C?
No, it's an H.
No.
Wait.
An H?
Hanukkah?
I mean, that sounds right, but I think it's in... Don't tell anyone how to spell these
right now.
I'm not even letting it auto-correct.
There we go.
No, it is an H. Where's the C?
There's no C.
Yeah, there's no C.
How long was that thing?
Hanukkah.
H-A-N-U-K-K-A-A-A.
It's the K's that throw me off.
Yeah.
Oh, I always used to put a C in the middle.
In the middle.
Just for Hanukkah.
C-K.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
C-K-A-A-A.
Yeah.
Which is stupid.
Oh, man.
We're going to get copyright fucking strict for sure by playing Eight Crazy Nights.
I can't just have that playing in the background.
Tooby, work on your shit.
You can't just have that playing in the background.
Here, I'm typing Hanukkah into Tooby and it's still not popping up, yet it is available
on Tooby.
That is crazy.
That is nuts.
That's actually really crazy.
That is the one.
Oh, my God.
I'm in the mood to watch this tonight and just make my notes and talk about it next
week.
And just watch it again before.
No.
Maybe.
Because you already know it.
I know.
Back and forth.
I watch it every year.
It's a good movie.
It is.
Which, I mean, I don't want to get in the way of my thoughts.
You want to give Mandy a rating?
From here, the podcast, we go B to W. You get it.
That's our rating system.
W is a waste of time.
C-, maybe D+.
The beginning half is so boring with that.
I don't know if the craziness of Nick Cage is worth the payout.
If you watch the whole movie in 1.5, a C-.
If you watch it at regular speed.
A D-.
I agree that there's a full letter difference of what speed you watch this at.
I would watch the beginning at almost 1.75 speed and then switch to 1.5 once the killing
happens.
Once they get caught.
But yeah, I would give it a, I actually like it a little bit more.
I'm giving it a B-, or I'm giving it actually a C+.
Because you know what, a B- only because the acting from Cage was so good.
That's my favorite Cage movie now I think maybe.
I really like his performance in it.
But you're right, the first part's boring.
Nope, so that costs the B. So yeah, C+.
And then without the speed improvement, C-.
So with you being a C- and a D-, we'll even this out to a C-.
So C- is what we gave this movie.
Perfect.
The next movie we're going to watch is 8 Crazy Nights.
Excellent.
The notes I wrote down earlier was Buffy.
I read, did I talk about the audible book that I read that was Buffy?
I might have already talked about this.
I'm so sorry, but I'm plugging it in again.
If you haven't listened to it yet, there's a book called Slayers.
It's audio.
You don't have to be super familiar with the property to enjoy it.
You can just be familiar enough.
Maybe you've watched a season or two, maybe you've watched a couple episodes, get to know
the characters.
It'll explain what it needs to explain.
It's an audio drama though.
It's like reminiscent of one of those old radio serial kind of things where you hear
background music, you hear background noises, you hear people.
It's acting and it's got a lot of the original cast.
It's fantastic.
I love it.
I wrote down Buffy earlier so I'm just going to talk about that because if I anytime I
write it down, that's what's going to happen.
I'm so sorry about all the ads.
Brendan, did you have a good time today?
It's been a blast.
It's been full of tangents.
It's been fun.
I enjoy tangents.
Hey, not bad.
135, we did it.
We stretched this out into two episodes sort of.
We had to do Christmas.
I keep forgetting it's Christmas episode.
Let's get a Christmas song.
A Christmas song going before the last little bit of a l'accident.
Sorry guys.
We do everything in house right in front of you.
Christmas song carryover.
I've typed that in so many fucking times today.
Let's just do, oh gee, yeah.
We're doing I speak Jesus, whatever this is.
I can work with this.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you're doing good out there.
I hope you're stoned, relaxing, just vibing.
Why not?
We have.
This has been a lot of fun.
It's been a blast.
I hope you've had a blast with this.
Of course, I'll get to me.
With me as always is Brian Am I.
Da da da da da da da da da da da da.
Simply Out of Austin.
It's been a fun chaotic episode.
Yeah.
For just two people.
It's been great.
I love it.
This is giving me Christmas vibes. I hope this comes out at Christmas time the way we planned it and Merry Christmas
I hope you know just
I've been your host Andy Rice. We've been fried as fuck. Thank you so much. I hope you had as well
I did that I fucked that up. Good night everyone
I see them more screaming like I do a kick
You're so good
You're so good. I know I know I'm fucking high-fiving you.