And welcome to a very special after school special.
Oh, right.
Right.
Podcast.
I'm your host, Andy Rice.
Let's get fried with me as always is Sean.
Hey, we've been friends for so long.
High school.
And then after high school, we traveled the world together.
We went to Europe.
I ran with the Bulls.
He watched me run with the Bulls.
How long this guy's nickname?
Jesus.
Yeah, we've been friends for years and years.
We've been playing horse and pool on an ongoing season.
I'd say pretty much tied.
I think you might argue with that.
Elmslie Britt.
Welcome.
Yeah, thank you, thank you for having me.
With us as always is Michael.
He looks like he's from Texas today.
You're wearing the most cowboy Hawaiian looking shirt
I've ever seen in my life.
Where's your 10 gallon hat?
Larson.
Hats at home.
Hey, everybody.
With me as always is Teresa.
But she likes to go by T. She's lovely.
She's smart.
She doesn't put up with my shit.
She will not put up with my shit.
She's already given me so much guff.
And we haven't even started the episode.
Albsley Britt.
Hello, Andrew Oliver.
OK, wow.
Holy shit.
Right to the Andrew Oliver.
With me as always is Brendan.
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Ship Lee out to Boston.
I wish I had the same energy you have.
And with me as always is Jesse Lee.
Shot through the heart.
And something, ah you've been stoned.
Three seconds.
I don't know the words.
Man, that is flattering.
That's overwhelming, thank you.
All right.
I'm done.
I put 90% of my energy into that.
That was it.
Oh man.
So straight to the movie review, right?
All right.
What do we do?
That's the thing.
Yeah, welcome everybody.
This is a special episode.
We got a full house again.
We haven't had that in a while.
It makes me happy.
I've got a few little games planned,
especially since when we have a couple on the show.
We like to test, don't even worry, T.
We're testing his knowledge of you.
So it's going to only make him look bad if he doesn't do well.
He'll be fine.
It's only an opera car ride later.
What's the big deal?
Yeah, we'll talk about it.
We'll hash it out later.
They'll be fine.
I'm going to take my hit because Brendan started us off
with a good shot.
Still filling it.
Shot.
You're ready for a shot.
Shot.
Sean.
What?
You got to get her a shot.
I know how your co-defendant relationship works.
Just the shot master over here.
She reminds me of that meme.
The girl in Parks and Rec where she's like, money please,
to her dad.
So instead of just, what are you smoking?
It's also, what are you drinking today?
Oh, yeah.
So because we have very special guests today.
Well, I mean, they're with us here every week,
but they don't often talk.
We have T likes to have a couple shots
to get loosened up, which hopefully we can
get her to play some games later.
But this is the, do we have music now for the what
are you smoking section?
Was it that cool hip hop thing I heard?
Oh, fuck yeah.
Roll it now.
["What Are You Smoking?" by The Bunch plays.]
All right, yes.
This is the what are you smoking section, motherfuckers.
Anyway, so today we are smoking.
I'll tell you my contribution.
Because actually, I don't even know if this is the right jar.
Is that what we just smoked the bowl up just now?
Yeah.
It's like jar contamination.
We can't trust it.
Yeah, I split my, I put my weed in different jars,
depending on whatever's closest and most convenient.
Anyone else do that?
No.
No, not at all.
You guys keep your shit separate.
It stays in the original container
until it's gone.
All right, well.
Mine is mystery weed, but it's pretty good.
I got it.
Oh, no, actually.
It was smooth.
Holy shit, it's all.
No, it's not that one.
It's a bigger container.
Not that one as he's going to his fourth or fifth container.
Fuck it.
I might throw it away.
Anyway, it's it's Mojave Reserve and it's pretty good.
It's fluffy.
It's green.
It tastes good.
It gets me high.
I like it.
No cough.
It's nice.
Well, I cough if I hit it.
We just heard Brendan.
Still cough.
Sean, what did you bring?
Read it out.
Straight from Cali.
Stizzy, Stizzy.
Not exactly sure what you really call it.
Let's make it.
Let's make an official ruling.
What is it?
Is it Stizzy or Stizzy?
I believe it's Stizzy.
Is it Stizzy?
Stizzy.
Yeah, I think they're radio commercials say Stizzy.
Oh, I've never heard a radio commercial for it.
OK, so Stizzy, we'll just go with that then.
Stizzy.
Anyway, it's just a hybrid, just one of their standard operated
standard issue, like Kiefer old deliciousness and testing.
We've already heard about it enough that we don't really
agree with testing anymore.
It's just good.
Yeah, Stizzy's interesting because it's
good about percentages around here.
So Stizzy, we got a Stizzy.
What's it called?
Oh, Gelato.
Yeah, Gelato.
Brendan, it's a table.
I love it.
Still coughing.
No, Brendan's starting to sound strong.
Yeah, he's starting to sound strong.
Because a little behind the scenes here,
when we do our opening bong hit, we'd
like to put all the mics forward so we get the cleanest sound.
It's a lot of pressure.
It looks like, and I'm not even kidding,
it looked like he was holding a little press
conference for the bong.
And the bong was about to make an announcement.
And there was a lot of pressure.
Most press conferences should start that way.
You know, just get the most honest response.
He'd be so much better.
It was kind of adorable.
I wish I had a picture of all the mics.
He said, I have an announcement to make.
Blubblubblubblubblub.
Yeah, fuck, it's warm.
So what are we smoking?
So I brought a Sativa, Jack Harare, just some flour,
and a XL Jeter.
This one is bubble gum.
All right, now, the last time you were, well,
the first time you were on here, our Sleep Walk Kill episode,
Sleep Smoke Kill, whatever we called it,
you brought one of these Jeter XLs.
We were very excited about it because a Jeter is a Jeter.
We all know it, right?
About how, like, we didn't even have one.
Everybody got, like, one hit.
Yeah, and then it clogged.
And then it clogged immediately.
So I'm hoping it doesn't happen again.
I salvaged it, like, weeks later.
Yeah.
You brought it over to my house.
I did.
Yeah.
I just cut the tip off, and then we hit it.
It was fine.
And then you brought it again.
I think it went four.
Yeah, we finished it off.
Yeah, yeah.
Four podcasts.
You got to circumcise it.
That's great.
Yeah.
That thing lasted about a minute.
Cool.
So we'll do that next after this next bowl.
Sean, take greens.
I did last time.
We passed that down.
No, he definitely did last time.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
Remember, famously, we were just talking about it.
Yeah.
It's the opposite.
That's right.
You rewind the tape.
Yeah.
Digital tape.
So this week.
OK, so that's the What Are We Smoking?
Done.
Roll outro.
I don't know if there is an outro.
How's everyone's week?
We don't normally ask that.
Doesn't seem like a very interesting question.
No, I do actually.
I'm sure it bongs me and pass around.
Yeah, hang on.
Let me skip this round so I can talk about this week.
This week was weird.
This week, something happened in a time warp for me this week.
Sunday night, I went to bed.
And we live in Arizona, so we don't change time here.
This is a week of time change, though.
So Monday morning, I woke up.
And my radio thing is set on my Alexa,
and it reads me off like the morning news and all that stuff.
And so it goes off when I get up,
but it starts telling me all the news.
And then every week on Monday, it tells you
what's the number one selling record.
And this week on Monday, after the time change,
it was the Rolling Stones had the number one record.
Oh, jeez.
OK?
And the number one single on iTunes this week
was The Beatles.
Because The Beatles did release a new song.
A new Beatles song.
So Monday morning, I woke up.
And literally, I'd already just hit my assistant when I got up.
And I'm like, time change?
How far did time change?
What the hell happened?
You had woken up.
And it was sunny and shares.
I got you, babe.
It was snowing outside.
Groundhog's Day.
That's what that sort of feels like.
Yeah, it was so strange.
But that's really happened this week.
Those two bands had the number one single and the number one
album.
It's like.
That's pretty weird.
That's a trip.
Yeah, that was a trip.
So that was my week, though.
It's like, that's how I started my week.
I got two tangents.
Nothing is here.
You locked and loaded because of that now.
One, here's my alarm that I've been listening to lately.
And it's been working.
I found it.
To wake your ass up?
Yeah.
Hold on.
So you can be on time to things now?
Yeah.
OK.
Mark.
It's time to get up.
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
It's time to get up.
Yeah.
Wake up, bitch.
Time to get up.
Oh, yeah.
I'll be on TikTok.
Yeah.
Female voice.
Yeah.
It makes you wake up, though.
It does make you wake up.
No, no, no.
Leave the mic here.
What do you mean?
Because it's a female voice.
You're saying a woman's voice is so irritating to me specifically
that I would wake up.
Because there's a female voice, you're like, oh, gotta get up.
It's mom.
Oh, you're saying because it's you.
It's mom.
Trust me.
All of us wake up.
You hear a female voice, you're up.
It's totally different.
Oh, I didn't know there was a psychology behind that.
Yeah, no.
I don't think that's what T meant.
I think T just thinks I'm such a horndog that the idea of a woman's
voice is enough to arouse me out of sleep.
Absolutely.
So you're being aroused from sleep rather than aroused from sleep.
That is exactly what I meant.
I'm not arising from the bed.
I'm arousing from the bed.
I'm taking the day hard on, head on.
What is your first tangent?
Your second tangent.
Second tangent was, I might have forgotten at this point.
Oh, if we were just going to go off of Groundhog's Day
because I mentioned it earlier.
I love it.
Really?
OK, real quick.
You tell me why.
Because I have ADHD and it's just repetition.
And it's just like, oh my god, the same thing is happening over and over
and over and over again.
And we've turned off movies because we found out like 30 minutes into it.
Like, this seems to be repeating the same situation over and over.
She's like, turn it off.
Have you ever watched the movie Living in Oblivion?
Let me tell you about the first fucking five minutes of that movie.
No, I'm not going to.
You need to listen to that podcast.
Like, my brain can't do it because any time I watch it,
I'm like, oh my god, we've just watched it.
I like the repetitive.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
OK, now, that's interesting.
You must have hated the butterfly effect, huh?
Yeah.
Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.
Butterfly Effective, we're just touching back to episode one.
Which is what I brought up.
I love that movie.
It's definitely not repeating the same shit over and over again.
Because he changes individual.
I don't even think they repeat a single memory.
Yeah, but he repeats like going back to school to change the thing.
He has to go back to some point to get going back to the future.
Every single time.
It's time warp.
What's funny about that movie is that I saw the pre-screening
before they were done editing it.
So it was.
Of what movie?
The Butterfly Effective.
Tell us you illegally bootleg movies without telling us
you illegally bootleg movies.
So it was kind of fun to watch it.
Oh, you went to a pre-screening.
Yes.
You were like a test audience?
That's awesome.
Well, she worked in a movie theater, right?
That was the reason.
That would be a more logical reason.
I only say that because I got a pre-screen of Rob Zombie's
Halloween from 2007.
That was an illegal bootleg.
It was in another lifetime.
That was more me being guilty about my own piracy.
Turns out I would download a car.
We're not for piracy.
We're for Tubi.
Yes, we're for Tubi.
Tubi sponsor us.
Or if Tubi, you're not listening, Pluto, Sling, what's up?
Yeah.
What's up?
What are you guys doing?
We're listening to you.
If you are listening, we're just kidding.
Yeah.
All right.
But hey, but.
We know we love you, baby girl.
Tubi, you listening?
You listening, Tubi?
Hey, Tubi, are you there?
Don't make us go to Pluto.
Pluto, you listening?
I wasn't.
I didn't mean it.
Tubi doesn't mean a thing to me.
Come on, Pluto, what's up?
Sling, you can help our broken podcast.
Just put us in your sling, right?
We'll make you planet sized Pluto.
Tubi, we don't mean it.
You're showing your anus right now, sir.
Yes, yeah.
But Butterfly Effect, love that movie.
Very good.
When I was, I think, 15 or 16, probably 16,
Butterfly Effect came out in the theaters.
And I was in the theaters with a girl.
And I kid you not, her name was Regina George.
That was my high school girlfriend's name.
And just legally, legitimately, Sean can back this up.
He's one of the people that came.
She legally existed.
Her name was Regina George.
My high school girlfriend, high school sweetheart.
Shout out to her if she's ever listening to this.
And no, so the thing is, we're watching.
You got to put the mic more in the middle.
Because she's talking a lot.
Can we get her a mic?
No.
Is there an extra?
OK.
Anyway, those are all pre-production things, sir.
We're watching Butterfly Effect.
We're making out during the trailers beforehand.
And we hear an evil comes in a female form, Regina George.
And we both, middle of making out, stop.
And we're like, no, we didn't.
That didn't just fucking happen.
And it did.
And we look up at the screen.
And I still enjoy Butterfly Effect.
But I think for her, she was having an existential crisis
through most of it.
And that movie deals with existential crisis
a little bit anyway.
So maybe not the best time for her.
To me, still classic, loved it.
Maybe she was worried you were going
to try to come in an evil form of her.
You know what I mean?
Oh, well, 16 probably.
That's what we were.
I don't want to throw it out there to anyone out there.
We don't really go into this.
We don't go to my love life.
As we're again going into your love life.
Pass is fine.
Pass already happened.
Well, yeah, that's way past 2.
That's like statue of limitations.
Andy, you earlier threatened to cut all talk of your love life
out.
It's going to be this podcast.
This is going to be half as long.
You never talk about my love life.
I'll talk about it.
No, no.
Hey, hey.
Speaking of, OK, well.
Speaking of.
Why don't we play the round of the newlywed game?
Just get it over with.
Let's go.
I know.
I can see you with the pen and paper.
You're like, OK, so.
Sean.
AKA Andy drives a wedge between his friends.
Go on.
Sean, I will not be mad at you one bit.
No matter what.
I'm so sorry if I get this wrong.
Just wait till you see the questions that Andy has ready.
It wasn't me getting it wrong.
It doesn't matter.
I'm sorry.
I feel like, yeah.
It should probably work both ways.
I need you to leave the room.
Yeah, you have to go outside for like three minutes.
At least it's not hot out.
Yeah.
71 or 2.
A balmy 71 or 2.
Oh, it says it's 63, but I don't think that's right.
And windy.
That's probably not.
That's probably for Phoenix.
Or wherever my VPN thinks it is.
Goodbye.
I said, good day, sir.
Said, good day.
Good day.
I think I'm nervous.
I didn't really have too many questions.
Because I can't think of them.
You don't have questions?
My little key brain can't think of things when I'm drinking.
OK.
Where would you like to go on a dream vacation?
OK.
Don't yell it out.
You're going to write it down.
Baltimore, Maryland.
Baltimore.
I should probably write this down
so I can remember what the questions are later.
Yeah.
Dream vacation.
All right.
Do the same ones as you do for Desert Island.
If you could stop one animal from being food moving forward
in the future.
That's racist, though, right?
Racist?
I don't think so.
Please don't make it.
Please don't make it racist.
No, I don't know.
That was racist.
Oh, shit.
OK.
I'm sorry.
It's.
No, no, no.
It's not really.
It's not true.
It's not racist.
I get what you're saying.
If an entire country eats an animal
and you want that country to stop eating that animal.
India, the answer would be freaking cows.
So you can't really.
Yeah.
They don't want the world to eat cows.
Yeah.
Well.
Were you going to put dog?
Yes.
I wrote dog.
There's nothing wrong with dog.
There's nothing wrong with the answer.
It's fine.
He's going to guess that.
It's not.
It's racist to think that.
Yeah.
OK.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
Whatever.
Just go.
Don't make it sound good, right?
Right?
Just make it new.
It'd be fine if you didn't explain that.
We're just going to put an asterisk right here
to just make that dog sound racist at all.
Even though it wasn't.
We have the power of editing.
I don't mean to be racist, but won't that
starve an entire nation?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Are you trying to kill all the Asians?
What are you doing?
That was a weird question.
That was a big question for me.
It's not her fault.
OK.
If the thing was a dog that was here and it just left,
who do you think would be the thing out of all of us?
Oh.
Who would be the thing?
Out of all of us here, who's the thing?
Who's the thing?
And why?
I mean, there's no way.
It's just messing with you.
You won't.
Nobody will be offended.
Nobody gets mad about anything.
No.
That's the beautiful thing about hanging out with stoners.
We don't get mad very easy.
This one might be a little tougher.
And actually, he might be able to answer, but it might.
You're still writing.
How long would the answer be?
Oh.
I mean, I guess it's going full name.
She's writing why.
Oh, and the why.
And the why.
I got it.
OK.
What video game world would you want
to live in for the rest of your life?
Me?
Yes.
OK.
I'm done.
I'm just making them up on the spot.
Let's see.
That's one, two, three, four.
Let's go one more.
Do you know Desert Island?
Well, we're going to actually do Desert Island in a bit.
That's why I'm not trying to tread on any of those.
So let's go with OK.
If you could have relived your life knowing what you know now.
Oh, this is deep.
I don't like it.
What occupation would you have followed?
Is this all also supposed to be on the podcast?
Or is this a bet it?
OK.
This is fun.
People like this.
When I was a kid, he doesn't know this.
Oh, you haven't shared that with him?
Nope.
Got it.
Done.
That's fine.
You can change it.
OK.
So it's like dream occupation.
Yeah, dream.
Before I knew it, I had extra school.
Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying.
According to it.
Like, yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
All right.
Fuck it.
Cool.
I think we got it.
Let's bring Sean back in.
Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean.
Oh, I'll do that.
Closest to the door.
Don't let him in.
Don't answer the door, Andy.
Don't you?
Last time, that did not work out so well.
Sean, I'm sorry.
That door's open far too long.
You're welcome.
Yeah.
That's why I rushed in like crazy.
He's trolling you already.
I love him coming right in and trolling you.
He told the story, and he has to start trolling right away.
He started.
There wasn't a way to walk in.
I got real shocked.
What?
Like, tangibly bad?
No, no, no.
When I picked it up, even Brenda, it was like it was an audible pop.
But that's because my house is a Tesla coil.
Well, everyone answered the door and walked on the carpet.
Trust me, it's all carpet.
All right, Sean, here, let's go.
Are we going to get a letter?
Sean, here, let's go.
Wait.
Also, it's not 63.
It's easily in the 70s.
I want to get some backup music.
Let's start the round.
OK, OK, it's the one-on-one podcast, A. All right.
With us today, contestants, we have Sean, Seanathan Elmsley Britt.
The one and only.
Sean, how has it been married to this beautiful young woman over here?
Oh, it's been an absolute pleasure.
Now, let's see how well you know her, because while you are out of the room,
I'm going to be asking you.
We asked her five bizarre
questions. Those are very I
don't know. I was out there a
while. Five makes sense. Yeah,
I I don't know if they're
bizarre questions or bizarre
answers but we don't know yet
but T are you ready? Wait a
minute. First of all, did you
plan these five questions? No,
prior in time? No, no. Okay.
No. Alright, good. So, I can
think. Yeah, that wouldn't have
been a really good thing to do
right before. You know, on top
of my head. Yeah. That'd be
more that pre-show stuff,
right? Um the fact that I wrote
down the words play the newly
wed game. It was already a big
step. That's steps. That's me
planning to do something. Then
I then it would then they need
to be a script. Are we not?
Yeah. And we're following up.
Look, I got a sound guy that
makes this not sound like ****
anymore. Yeah. So, like, I can
only do so much, man.
Okay. Uh so, question number
three. If you were in the world,
where would it be? I mean,
we've already been on quite a
few dream vacations quite
honestly but at the end of the
day, I mean, I'm just going to
pick where I'd want to go.
Okay. Which would be like the
Maldives or something along
those lines like in the beaches
with the little huts over the
water. Okay. Teresa. Don't show
everyone. It's just say it.
Just say it. Can I say it? I'll
say it. Oh **** That's a good
answer. Yes. Yeah. What point
is Sean? Alright. No, don't
show. Don't show. God, your
guys' love is eternal for now.
Right? Question number two.
This is a weird one but if if
if she could stop one animal in
the entire world from being
used as a food source moving
forward, what animal would it
be? I mean, I guess I would go
with dog. I would go with dog.
Teresa. Dog. Dog. Perfect.
Because um especially the movie
we just watched. Oh yeah. Oh
god. And that is completely why
you said that answer. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah.
When Teresa last night when we
were watching uh we were
watching the thing did not like
those dogs getting hunted.
Movie starting with a 20 minute
uncut shot. It feels like a
movie. Question number three.
Okay. Yeah. Question number
three. You want to go to question
number five? No, we want to go
to three. Sort of. Okay.
Question three is the best one.
We definitely want to go to
three. Out of everyone here,
who's the thing?
It's not you. And why? I'm just
giving you that hint. It's not
you. Why? Well, you can't give
him that hint. Unfortunately,
he's not. I'm intrigued. He was
here a little later than the
others and he had more time to
get and he's also dealing with
a lot of dangly wirey things.
So, you know, it kind of fits.
Her answer is so much better.
Oh, Teresa. Okay. Even though I
liked his Michael Meyer pin on
his jacket, it has to be the
old white dude because he
has to be the old white dude.
My which old white dude? Me.
That's why I was laughing. I'm
saying I love this answer. Oh,
yeah. Okay. I got one wrong.
Cuz I cannot tell you how many
times I wish I was the thing.
Got it. Got it. Nice.
Well, we can't win them all.
So, turns out I'm not the
thing. Question number four.
Now, question number four. If
if T could live out the rest of
the day, I'm going to put a
pillow real quick for getting
the wrong. I don't know. No,
those are my those are my
sleeping pillows. We don't we
don't they don't go anywhere
other than like anyone else's
face. There's repercussions.
You can get her a shot for
they get me on the game. You
gotta pull a shot. I can I can
manage. Someone has to take
that hit. Right in. He's like I
just recovered. I'm just. He
just recovered from the opening
hit. What is it? Where'd you
get that? Alright, this random.
He's on it. He's on it. Wait,
he's up on a shirt tangent now.
He's up on a shirt tangent. It
was in your lap. Okay, Mike's
going to read her answer for
her. Is this your answer? No,
she. This is something randomly
in my lap. Oh, wait, let me see.
Oh, no, wait, wait. It's it's
question number six. Oh, wait,
wait, I'll ask. It's question
number six. Fine. We'll ask
because I did. I did use the
okay. Started with five
questions. Now, let's do that
one live at the end. Yeah, it's
fine. Oh, yeah. Okay. Live at
the end. Yeah. You both have
the answer. So, what the
question is? He has an answer
that he's not. What video game
world would she want to spend
the rest of her life in if she
could? Okay.
It's a good question. I
probably guess go with the
Harry Potter world because he
really did enjoy that. Oh,
we're talking Hogwarts.
Legacy. Yeah. Yeah. What's the
answer? It's well, no, you have
to read it the way you have it.
I wrote Mario Bros. I was going
to say Mario Bros. or Harry
Potter. Yeah, she wrote down.
She wrote down. She wrote down
because I was because I was
thinking in my life, in my in
my head, I was thinking Mario
Brothers. You sit here and
Potter. I was like, ooh, that
makes sense. Yeah. Okay. So,
that was really cool. Cool.
Cool.
Uh doesn't know this one. Half
a point for that one. Half a
point for that one. Yeah, it's
half a point. And then this
next question was weird. I
don't know where I was going
with it but if if she could
start her whole life over
again and and and be not choose
you. What would happen? No, no,
no, no, no. Yes, that too.
That's a good question. If she
could, if she could go back in
time and and live out the dream
occupation that she had when
she was a child, what would she
be today? That's a better way
of phrasing it.
You know what? I probably,
she's right. I don't really know
this one but I would maybe go
with
veterinarian or something like
that. Any answer? I wrote that.
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I
had to play the odds. You know,
everybody wants to care about a
animal. Yeah. And it ties into
the dog thing earlier. And you
know which one you got wrong?
The which one of us is the
thing? Yeah. So, so all the
ones that prove you know her.
You got right. Oh, remember?
All through the movie, I said,
who is the white dude? Cuz they
all look the same. She did say
that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And for
the last one, they were all
white bearded dudes. They were
all white bearded dudes because
of the situation they were in
right? Yeah. Okay. Oh. Bonus
bonus. No, no, no. Bonus
question. Write down your
answer to this. Yeah. Oh, right.
You're going to reverse it. Okay.
She's going to do the last one
to see if she can get this.
Here. Here's the. No, you don't
get to read this question. I
didn't. That's the idea. It was
in my lab. I didn't read it. My
answering this question as if.
So, what does she want? What
does she want? What does she
want when I'm driving home?
Right? No, no, it's her. You
know what I mean? Like, it's
her. Your answer should be her.
It's the newlywed game. Yeah.
Yeah. Pick me up something on
the way home. Well, now she
knows. Yeah, but it's fine. Go
ahead. It's fine. What do you
mean now? It doesn't matter if
she knows. Yeah, she's going to
get you something. She's good.
But you're telling me to answer
this. So, I need to get her
something. It's going to be
something completely different
than her. Yeah, you should
reverse the order of the game
when you're doing the final
question. Yeah. I meant, what
would you get? I'm going to ask
you. Alright. Cuz then that
makes that makes either way
works, right? I mean, you're
buying for him. Okay, because
now that you know that the cat's
out of the bag, if if you if he
asked you to pick him up a
little treat on the way home,
what would you get him? What or
where? What?
Oh, okay. Wait. Wait. Stop.
Hold on. If you if you give it
away now, T, but it gives it
away. How do we save the clue?
Oh, okay. I know exactly. No
pound thoughts with Andy. If
you give it away, it'll give it
away. That's it. That's it.
That's it. Those are my three
answers. Is this entertaining?
Podcasting? Yeah. You have
three. Are we? You're very
hungry. He has to go all three
places? We're doing it. Yeah,
for me. If I'm picking up for
him. But he you gotta go to
three places. No, these are the
three places. You don't get
three answers. You get one.
You don't get three. You get
and not an item, right?
An item.
What? What?
She actually has both written down.
Let's just let's just answer both.
What did you what did you put?
Del Taco. You put Del Taco.
Did you put Del Taco?
Her three answers.
Oh, yes, sort of.
So her fourth answer was Del Taco.
I feel like the ending of this sucked.
But hey, but but but but
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oliver answers fairly or completely valid, right?
You sure? Oh, yeah, we did.
We all think. Good job.
It's successful. Still be married.
Yeah. Yeah.
You got four and a half or four and three quarters out of six.
You know, the last one was bullshit.
Anyway, it was rigged rigged question.
Also, I don't know if you like people.
Oh, because.
When we lived in Ontario, California.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
What are you? What are you about to wait?
I want to hear this because for the longest time, I thought he didn't like anything
because that's what Andy used to be like.
I don't like that. I don't like that.
I don't like that. Even doggies and pizza rolls.
Yeah, exactly.
He doesn't like rice.
She started without.
Yeah.
He doesn't like rice because his name is Andy Rice.
And I want to feel like a cannibal. Got it.
Not even back.
It's I've never said your dad said maggots.
I never said maggots.
I don't like the texture of most rice in my.
Who cares? Anywho.
You don't eat any fruits or veggies.
I eat tons of fruits.
I've expanded my veggie line.
Broccoli, kale, spinach, peas.
You just started shoving baby carrots in my mouth once raw out the gate.
You've left them in a dish outside.
They once I came to their house and they had a dish outside their house.
Were five baby carrots.
And they said, you got to eat these fucking baby carrots before you can.
Just one. I said hours.
Just once you had to eat a carrot or a tomato.
No, there were tomatoes.
I would say there was two.
Oh, there was two things, though.
I gave you a bag of baby carrots and you just had to eat one fucking thing.
He spit it out as soon as he got in the house.
I swallowed it.
They have a camera.
I had to open my mouth and go, oh, I don't even care about the camera.
No, I don't care about the camera.
We were sitting inside.
We were watching you through the screen door.
These are the friends I have.
You had to eat one we were communicating the whole time.
Oh, they're just concerned about your rough vegetable.
How nice of them.
Yeah. All you had to do is just eat one little little little.
And it was like a 30 second minute.
You're like, really? Are you serious?
Yeah, I did question it.
My mother did that to me in 1978.
You were alive in 1978, Mike.
You must have been what? 30, 40.
Yeah, you're the new old bitch.
My old coot.
But yeah, that was the most I've ever felt like a dog.
The photo where you have documented evidence of Andy eating a carrot.
You need a carrot. Oh, boy.
Through a screen door.
There is green door. Wow.
This is what you get when you bring on long friends.
Yeah, you get canceled.
Yeah. All the bullshit comes out.
You're your wily coyote this week.
You're our version of Wiley Coyote.
Oh, that's a little bit like what I like.
All the time. No, you don't like steak.
You're just making shit up at this point.
I like steak.
And did you just say I don't like mashed potatoes?
No, no, no, no, no.
You eat spaghetti. You eat pasta all the time.
So we don't want to serve you pasta.
You said on your last podcast that I watched or whatever.
Differently. You're holding.
Yeah, you're getting right there.
She's holding you right by the wire.
Like that, too. Yeah.
You don't like steak.
I just like steak.
You said you take it or leave it.
Yes. Take it.
It's not a thing. Leave it.
But also, we don't want we don't want to do pasta
because he eats pasta all the time here.
So any time he comes to our house, what are we supposed to make him?
He doesn't eat vegetables.
He doesn't eat fruits.
We do. We pretty much just get pizza.
Turns out Andy is a Ninja Turtle.
We had pizza last night.
We had D'Angelo's.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, man. Right. Oh, man.
Well, fuck.
First off, if anything, I've expanded my.
Yeah. What I eat.
I give you some credit.
Yeah, as long as they're on a pizza.
You're circling back.
This all started back with seafood.
So he's now eating seafood and things like that.
Now we.
OK, I think the sushi is what threw them off.
I think it's because I eat rice, but you eat sushi.
That's different.
A little bit. It is.
I understand. But it's not.
It's not the same.
Look, there's a different.
There's it's literally 80 percent rice.
And yes, first off, 80 percent.
What kind of you can go to a better sushi.
OK, 65 percent. Whatever.
I forgot I was talking to literal Andy.
Yeah, I know.
I don't I don't I'm not figurative.
Some bullshit.
It literally literally made.
I don't know what the fuck I was doing with that.
What was I? What am I defending?
Oh, yeah, I eat shit.
Listen, your intake of seafood.
Yeah, right.
This isn't the Andy Rice show.
He'll eat anchovies on pizza.
So like that kind of counts, maybe.
Let's talk about a movie that he'll eat anchovies on pizza.
Maybe that'll count.
Yeah, yeah.
Actually, just yeah, this this kid that doesn't eat seafood eats anchovies.
Yeah. The look on T's face right now.
He hates his speaks multitudes.
She's disgusted with me because she thinks I'm not the same person that she once knew.
I just yeah. And you're not.
Yeah, we none of us are really.
Yeah. Every year, you're a different person.
I feel a little bit.
No, everybody is it every seven years, you literally are a different person.
I think that's all your molecularly like you're all yourselves.
Seven years to replace your body.
That might be one of those things like might not be true.
It was 10 percent of our brain, which is like probably some bullshit.
You know, we probably use all of it.
Yeah. And it's just we're just you just have increased capabilities.
It sucks. You're not smarter.
Different spots at different times.
But I think you should.
What about this movie?
Oh, we watched the movie. That's right.
Back on track.
Now it's time for the movie music that Jesse has.
OK. Yeah. Cool.
Hit it. Now we're going to talk about the movie.
Fuck it. I don't know. We'll do it anyway.
So what's the rating system?
Oh, yeah. Well, we're at the end.
We'll get into it. We'll get into it.
But the movie just starts at B. Yeah. B through W.
Yeah. Well, you said if it was a bad you don't do good movies.
So there isn't an A rating.
That's kind of where the bad movie started.
Yeah. There's no A rating.
Mega hits like no a super duper.
Well, we even do old ones, really, kind of.
We did do Dacia.
Yeah. That's probably the highest here.
Multi-million dollar, you know, Jamie Foxx.
Well, this was and what we just watch wasn't exactly a B movie.
This was but this is not a B movie at all.
I don't know why we pay this because this doesn't fall into our wheelhouse.
But now we can expand and start watching whenever we better things.
As long as they're on TV, this is the pilot of better movies.
You know, this this this movie. Yeah.
And the movie is
the thing.
Can you do the suspense?
Go for it. You don't have to. You want us to pause it?
No. OK.
Don't do it there.
I'll do it there.
You made no move to move after you said I got a P.
Just cross like you need to move
more of a declarative of what's happening now.
Yeah. So the movie is the thing.
It's 1982.
It is directed by, of course, John Carpenter.
It stars Kurt Russell.
We pulled the cast.
We got Kurt Russell, a Wilford Brimley.
Did that not blow your mind? Wilford Brimley.
He does not. That's not who you think of as Wilford Brimley.
I don't even know. I need to see the white bearded guy.
Yeah. Diabetes guy. No, he's the he's what?
Diabetes guy.
No, he's the white bearded guy. I said, yes.
Could be a diabetic guy.
No, diabetes commercials for years for the Quaker Oats.
Yeah. Quaker Oats, right?
Yes. It's the Quaker Oats dude. Do you?
Oh, shit. Yeah. Quaker Oats guy.
He looks so different with the mustache.
He does. He looks completely different.
No. No. If you look at him in the movie, he's he doesn't look anything.
He's right there in the middle in the movie.
See him right in the middle.
The middle right picture right there.
That's him in the movie kind of.
It's going to give us more.
Oh, yeah. Right.
It goes. Yeah.
See, he doesn't even look anything like him.
Yeah, yeah. It's crazy.
We got TK Carter as the cook.
And his his Wikipedia is not long.
It's just his his is an actor.
Oh, he was on two episodes of Good Times.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's not going to be actor.
Yeah. He was in Ski Patrol and something called Southern Comfort.
He's been in a lot of stuff. Yeah.
Kind of a background guy.
It says is what else has he been in?
Oh, I mean, that's him.
Oh, he has been in shit since that movie.
I guess they did.
OK, well, TK Carter, I hope you get more shit.
David Glennon, Keith David.
Now, Keith David, if you're listening, is the president on Rick and Morty.
Right. He's also the voice in like, I think, not Halo.
Well, he's been he's been a voice in a ton of shit.
A lot of stuff, a lot of stuff.
He's amazing voice acting.
Anyway, we've been doing this.
You could look this up on. Yeah.
Anyone can look this up.
You got a little distracted.
The thing starring Kurt Russell and a bunch of other dudes.
I get down that I go down that fucking is Kurt Russell still alive?
Maybe if Andy got possessed by the thing, the thing would be more on track.
You know what I mean?
And that's what we get.
So distracted by every food source.
If it's spent any time with me, right.
And it would be like that if they were trying to replicate me,
it would just sit here and just be like, Hey, did you guys hear about
it would just be this.
It's be a loop.
Kurt Russell was also in Soldier and Soldier was a good movie about a soldier
who cut his finger while cutting potatoes and didn't feel the pain.
The soldier with Kurt Russell and Soldier.
But I mean, yeah, Snake Plissman.
I want to light Andy on fire.
What's that? So we should light you on fire.
We should light.
I mean, I like that.
We're lighting up the Jeter XL.
Don't don't.
I'm calling it the time to get back on track.
So see, how does this movie open?
I want you to describe it from from your perspective,
because this was the thing that got you the mic.
You got to put a mic in front of her face or.
Nothing special, but it was very 80s to me.
It was very 80s to me regarding the slow.
Scene, slow pan, slow pan, slow scenes, very.
What's it called? Twilight. Ask.
Very well. Twilight, the movie.
No, what's like the time of day?
No, not twilight.
Twilight Zone. Twilight Zone.
Yeah, Twilight. Twilight Zone.
Yeah, twilight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, it's very just slow.
And the music was very.
80s, 80s, but the graphics were pretty good for the 80s.
However, hold on.
Wait, don't give me your whole impression of the movie.
Oh, I thought that's just I want right now.
Right. We're going to we're going to break it down beat by beat.
What is what was the opening like?
Well, I want you to describe the opening because you did not enjoy.
You did not enjoy the opening scene.
That it was just slow. No, no.
OK, there was a dog. Yeah.
My God, the dog.
Any movie with the dog?
I was like, I'm out. I'm out.
I'm not going to watch it. The dog. I'm out.
I knew something was going to happen.
The dog, the dog was part of the story and I'm out.
I can't watch it because of the dog. So.
Because you knew something bad was going to happen to the dog.
Yeah, absolutely.
That bubble gum Jeter XL tastes really fucking good.
OK. Oh, my goodness. OK.
Thank you, T.
So it opens up with a helicopter hunting down a fucking dog
with a sniper rifle.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Jesus.
They couldn't even just slow the freaking helicopter down
to shoot at the dog.
Like, yes, they were shooting at the dog. Horrible.
I don't like it.
But they could have slowed the helicopter down.
I didn't like that they were shooting at the dog,
but they could have been a better shot.
Yes, exactly. Like mine as well.
Just do it well.
With what we know now having.
Now I know now.
Now what I know now.
They did shoot the dog.
I think they did shoot the dog because the dog had an injury on his hip.
And I was like, why does why does nobody
care about the dog injury?
I don't know, because it can replicate itself and heal itself.
But also, I was.
Why did those humans care so much about shooting this freaking dog?
But you don't learn until later.
Yes. So exactly.
Exactly. This is just pure chaos, which I love.
And then the freaking dog graphics.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
I know that was horrible.
OK, so I watched with my wife, she had the same problem.
So it's not that's not an easy.
Helicopters chasing down.
Worst shot of all time.
That helicopter guy.
But you know what? Hey, let's be fair.
He's probably just a scientist who picked up a sniper rifle
that they use for real extreme emergencies to scare off polar bears,
probably, or other or other vicious.
Yeah, these are expeditioners.
Crack shot. Yeah.
Yeah. So they didn't have already a difficult shot.
So maybe you know what? I think probably accurate.
Sure. Oh, yeah.
Like, you know, hey, do your best.
They didn't have a Kurt Russell type character at the other bunker.
There's only one of those.
There's no Norwegian Kurt Russell.
So we can hear Russell.
They were Norwegian.
So. Anyway, what happens next?
Oh, the dog runs into the US Antarctic
research team.
Bunker thing. Bunker. Yeah.
It's a group of a bunch of bearded dudes and one non bearded guy
to two nonbearded guys.
As you said, white bearded, white bearded dudes.
Full of them. No, no.
I mean, against white people, against white people.
I'm trying to get white people.
It's like a bunch of damn white bearded dudes.
Yeah. OK.
I told you.
Did you watch the movie?
Yes, we watched very different movies. Yeah.
Well, there was a black dude.
Cool. He had a headband on.
He had those two. One of them is T.K.
Carter. Yeah. The freaking roller blades or whatever. Right.
The other one's Keith David.
Half of the movie.
I said, oh, my God.
Oh, wait. Yeah. Black dude.
She didn't. Yeah.
She got confused because I guess they didn't show enough.
They were. They also want to get they.
They weren't in the same scene very often till the end.
Till way later in the movie.
I hate to steal jokes, but my friend Anthony, it's very funny because he was
his his wife is Filipino and he watched Crazy Rich Asians with her.
And he couldn't tell anyone about our parties.
Like, is that the sister or the aunt's like, I'm not sure. Right.
And then it's like they all kind of look alike.
And she's like, OK, that's racist.
But then they watched Tombstone together and she had no idea
who the fuck any of the white guys were. Is that the brother?
No, that's the other brother.
The other brother. Yeah.
It's just so.
Yeah. And I got that that with this movie, a bunch of white dudes with beards.
You know, this room isn't a lot different from that.
Yeah, it's not a lot different.
Just variants of the same old.
But what's not like the others teased the thing. Yeah.
But and then just the real Mr.
Potato Head of mediocrity.
No, and then we get too high to talk about the movies.
What happens? There's always a stop.
We got to we got to stop. Slow down for a second.
It's fucking high.
Shit. Yeah. OK.
I'm going to do two more.
But I'm high as fuck.
I better keep smoking.
Update. No, I don't know.
So like, oh, we're fine.
Ten minutes left. Yeah.
No, no, we're fine.
Of the podcast.
How much I could continue to drink.
Yeah. As much as you want.
No, as much as you want.
What you want is whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. There is a show later.
That's in five hours.
You're fine. Yeah.
All right. Yeah.
Listeners at home, we figured out he's playing the show.
Oh, yeah.
There are a lot to do it.
I don't know. I don't want to fuck it up.
It's burning out. There's a lot.
I think you can actually put it in one of the holes.
We're out here. What's that?
How much is Pessler out here?
Fourteen nine nine.
Oh, I don't know.
I didn't even it was part of a bigger bill.
Don't know. I know.
I this I I know a lady had to come over and she gave me the look.
She's like, you just got to open your wallet.
And I was like, I was like, you don't want to see my ID.
She's like, no, just open your wallet.
And I think I'm getting closer and closer to the
this customer's under 40.
And she keeps and they're hitting no.
But I think they're hesitating a little longer.
And I think certain and I think soon they're going to just assume I'm over 40.
I got a lot of gray in my beard now.
Anyway, moving on this dog
runs into the camp, gets, you know, he gets protected by the people there.
The crazy Norwegian guy who gets out of his helicopter,
starts shooting at the dog, even though it's next to people and actually shoots a guy,
which is still shot for the rest of the movie.
Do they ever touch up on that again?
Yeah, I guess stitches and stuff.
Yeah. Sort of just said instant heal and movies, you know,
he did get instantly healed. Right.
Did you watch it, Jesse?
I like years ago.
OK, so sort of is the answer, sort of.
We don't need to do. I watched all the thing showing scenes on the way up here.
So that was like 10 minutes that I watched.
I've just like the thing showing up.
Yeah. So there are moments where I'll come in and be like, oh, I remember that scene.
Got it. OK. You know.
So I'll let you know when that happens. Mostly.
I didn't mean to call you out.
I was wondering how long it was going to take before.
Let me just get back into the 80s.
Russell was also in fact, right.
So, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, the Norwegian, they kill them, whatever.
The helicopter blows up.
They immediately put the fire out, a theme you'll see in this movie a lot.
They like things on fire and immediately putting it out.
Yeah, immediately.
And then it's and it's hard beyond recognition instantly after that.
Flamethrower. Two.
Seconds later, get it and then put it out.
And it's burned for hours.
They had a 12 gallons of kerosene in that helicopter.
They say, no, they threw something on fire.
They were like, oh, put it out on fire. Put the.
This is an audio medium.
No, that's why she tapped the paper. Yeah.
That's the international sign for putting a fire out.
Yeah.
They put the fire extinguisher out.
Yeah. Before the actual thing is done.
Oh, I know. That's what that's over and over and over again.
Yeah. I would argue that it's a theme that runs throughout the throughout
the whole movie where they put out fires immediately after starting.
It's insane. I mean, even in the movie, they make reference.
The doctor says that even though they're dead, they're not really dead.
Like the organism is like still. Yeah. That. OK.
Yeah. So we get the dog.
It spends time roaming around.
It meets a shadow and goes into its room.
You want to see from a shadow who is that person?
Yeah. Who could it possibly be?
Is it the only one with curly hair?
And no beard?
Is it positive on the scene when all the characters were there?
We stopped it.
We paused it when we lined them all up and we're like,
it's that guy, right?
And then as we're watching it, it's like, oh, it's the one not saying anything
throughout the whole time.
It's that guy. It's learning how humans work.
It's that guy. So that twist wasn't very twisty, though.
I don't I think they could have removed that shadow scene or not
or picked one person with a beard because then you're like,
oh, who is it?
Any of the bearded dudes?
But anyway, there was a guy with anyone in this room.
Yeah. Variants.
Yeah. And they put the dog in the dog pen and then the movie takes off.
Yeah, it doesn't.
I mean, yeah, it has.
That's the opening.
It's maybe 15 minutes, 30, 45.
It feels like. Yeah, it does.
Feels like it drags, but it's not actually that long
before the dog turns into a horrifying monster.
I will say, let's just say this right now.
What do we all think of the spectacle, the practical effects?
They were fantastic.
Yeah, for the for 1982 in HD.
You know what I mean?
Like that's always my weird thing when I watch like older movies
and newer technology.
Well, I remember seeing Star Wars for the first time in HD,
like just passing by a Walmart and I'm like, fucking God damn it.
Like that was bad. I lost everything.
Sure. You know.
But yeah, the practical effects are fantastic.
They were they were very good practical effects.
It reminded me of, you know, how like they'll put those praying mantises
inside of like water and then like the thing will come out of their butt.
What? Yes.
Yeah, I'm talking about the parasite. Yeah.
The repair site.
Like it's spindly, tingly things that come out. Remind me of that.
We. Everybody says this is Kurt Russell's movie.
I would I use this.
This is the director's I pray mantis parasite.
Pray mantis parasite. Yeah.
OK, continue to do do do do do do do do.
No, we're all distracted now.
It's everyone's distracted.
We. Yeah, that.
Oh, what the fuck? Yes.
Oh, this isn't too up.
OK, wait, I just want to see.
Yeah, it was there.
The first one. Yeah, right there.
Oh, God, dude.
It's good.
That's terrifying.
Never mind the silence on the podcast as we watch a praying man.
I will commentate a praying man is eating a thing.
Looks like another head.
Another dangerous situation and it really doesn't leave mantises
any chance of survival.
Oh, OK.
That specifically isn't it?
But they're going to show how it gets out.
No. Yeah, you'll see this is real.
Yeah. So, oh, I don't know if I want to.
Sites can live and pray mantis.
And then eventually this weird thing will come out of them.
That reminds me of the thing.
Oh, it's a creature called a hairworm.
This is a hairworm.
Notice they said an alien movie.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's entire body.
Well, before this happens, the hairworm makes a rather difficult journey
to get to the final destination and carry out its plan of the button.
It all starts with eggs laid in a river on a pond.
OK. All right.
That could be inside you, Andy.
You just get a new fear unlocked.
No, I welcome all worms because they typically lose weight.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. So funny when they said alien movie,
because that was my whole experience watching this movie.
Was that you thought it reminded you of the alien franchise?
It's the opposite because of my age.
It's just weird. I miss this movie.
This is the first time I'd seen this movie.
When did Alien come out?
So Aliens after this, I actually had to look that up.
What did Alien come out?
Eighty six, I think, or somewhere in there.
It was this was eighty two.
No, Alien is seventy nine. Seventy nine.
So this came out before Alien came out before.
So this is but but but I've seen Alien and I hadn't seen the thing.
And so I had seen all the other movies.
I'd seen all the alien movies, all the other bug chasing people movies
I've seen, because that's what my wife describes.
Is they're all the same movie.
They're just it's a bug jumping out of somebody and then killing people.
Yeah. And then you got to kill the bug.
That's the movie.
And this movie is the same as Aliens.
They're all the same movie. Any.
Well, there's there's better.
There's better special effects in some than others.
There's better storylines in some of the others.
But it's they're pretty much all just Harry Potter.
They're just the same.
The same real slapstick.
Yeah, they're all you can't just they're all slapstick.
What the fuck? You mean they're all Harry Potter.
Explain that in a way that makes sense.
Or they're all the same movies, too.
That's all. What?
Wait, you're saying Harry Potter is the same as the thing.
No, no, no. I'm saying Harry Potter.
One and Harry Potter two are the same damn movie.
And Harry Potter three is the same movie and Harry Potter four is the same.
If you're OK, they're in general the same.
There are differences in storylines.
There are differences.
No, I know what I'm going to see when I go see a Harry Potter
movie. I know what I'm going to see.
Did you know after watching Harry Potter three
that the next one was going to be a whole ass extra?
Yes, because there was a whole books about them.
And sure, sure that.
So I knew what was going to happen.
That's the whole point.
Casual fan of Harry Potter.
I guess they all look the same.
But if you're if you're a hardcore into the lore, if you're into it,
then each one has its own nuances that make them dress.
It's different directors, different budgets.
I believe you're making exactly my point, Andy.
That's what this movie and aliens and all those other bug movies are.
They're all the same movie with subtle differences.
Yeah, like Kurt Russell, like Kurt Russell.
Kurt Russell versus who was an alien.
So Gordon, we were right in 2016 with his appearance at San Diego Comic Con.
The point being, I just being that because I hadn't seen this
before, this felt like a sequel to those.
That was the whole point is that I had not seen the thing.
To me, the thing feels like a ripoff seeing it now after all these years,
even though it really isn't.
It was before most of them.
82, I think this is like a pioneer for a right test.
A lot of CGI, but versus alien.
You put alien in this movie together and what do you have?
I think they're different movies.
Really? What's the substantive difference in these two movies?
They're both isolated places where you're hiding from bugs
trying to kill bugs. They're the same damn movie.
I'm not a very foundational level.
I guess I can understand that.
Sure. And you can do that with a whole bunch of movies.
And that's what I'm saying.
You're saying that's how it felt to to to a yes.
Watered down, watered down.
They are in the aliens attack genre, which you could start your troopers in there.
You could put well, but that's a much different movie.
And once again, Starship Troopers is a much different movie.
Aliens in this aren't that much different.
But then I don't think but this is any different than
than the blob or a Dracula movie or scream.
I feel the same way about the scream movies scream one and scream to pretty
much the same guy.
No, but I'm just talking about you're talking about if I get I don't even know
is it is it the genre of space alien versus no someone fighting back against
space alien that makes it so bugs coming out of the chest is the difference.
There's one. OK, there is.
Yeah. Well, no, this chest opens up and eats his arm with teeth.
That's way different than a bug.
You know what? No, I disagree.
And here on Andy Rice podcast, I mean, the fryer is like it doesn't even
fucking matter little. I win.
I win all arguments.
I have a defacto. You win.
I don't disagree.
You know, I'm saying a lot of it is because I never saw it when it came out.
I wouldn't feel that I didn't see what it came out.
Had I not seen these other 30 movies before I saw I didn't see what it came out
either because I weren't alive.
Well, yeah, obviously.
But I didn't I didn't see it when I was younger at a time where it probably
would have like given me nightmares and shit because it's some horrific.
Oh, no. Yeah.
The special effects are great.
Right.
OK, so I'm like speaking of traumatic childhood movies,
the Vent Horizon was one of those movies as like where I was growing up,
where I was just like, you know, 12, 13, 14 years old.
And my dad rented it from Blockbuster or had it on laser.
You don't even know what it was.
It was very traumatizing.
And we watched Starship Troopers as a doubleheader that night.
And I did not sleep very well.
Now, Starship. Oh, I guess there are some gruesome.
Oh, it's pretty gross. Yeah.
Yeah. With the mantises going right through the eyes.
You know, what I just found out about Starship Troopers is,
you know, the nude shower scene.
So they everyone was killed feeling kind of like
getting nude in front of everybody would be kind of whatever.
So the director and the director of photography both got naked during that scene.
Yeah, because the whole point of that scene was that they didn't
it wasn't really supposed to be titillating at all.
It was just. Yeah, it didn't matter.
But that's why they got it was it didn't with the crew, which I didn't know.
Which is interesting.
Anyway, so now we got these dudes with flamethrowers right off the bat.
I thought that was going to be like an end game weapon.
They just all up immediately and they're three or four of them.
And they're just using them throughout it.
Literally, that would be the immediate thing to go for.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
You don't build up suspense.
You just fucking like that shit on fire.
Yeah, it's a fucking it's a bunch of scientists.
Why won't this machete work?
Yeah, well, these bullets are not doing the trick.
Flamethrowers and dynamite this whole movie.
Yeah. Yeah, the dynamite.
Oh, yeah. Dynamite played a big role.
Magically, quite honestly, at one point.
It was always magic.
No, there's a scene specifically where he takes a roll of like dynamite sticks
and throws it down a tunnel, throws it down a tunnel and it rolls
so perfectly to go blow up this makeshift alien spacecraft
that a dude made in like 20 minutes.
What's going on there?
Yeah. So was he trying to go?
I got your parts.
It was completely burned up from their previous five.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's like, yeah.
I will agree with Mike that the helicopter blowing up in the beginning
is kind of slapstick.
Yeah. You thought the explosion of it?
And well, the fact that they put it out.
Yeah. Yeah.
And then there's all the parts left.
Did you notice it was completely gone when they walked up to put it out?
Completely gone.
There's like one little doorframe there and they're like putting it out.
And then it goes to him building the giant thing out of the spare parts
from the fire.
We're hold on.
If you go, you got to go.
Is that a phone call?
Hey, you're on the you're on the podcast.
Hey, and with us as always is
as always is Ryan
sounds like a tiny little virtual digital dude right now.
Con.
Tiny Con.
I feel like I'm like.
With the speaker more.
So what's up?
Hey, so we have that show tonight, yeah?
Yeah.
OK, I'm very poor because I spent all my money on Burger King.
Can I ride with you?
Is it all for sure?
I could pick I could pick you up on the way I got.
Is it just you? Because I got room for only one more.
OK, then, yeah.
Mike, you miss you a lot.
You miss, right?
Yes, of course. I miss.
Right. Yes, he does.
OK, I also miss Mike.
OK. Do you.
Not established for the podcast that I like Mike.
OK. I like my heart, but I also like my heart.
Yeah. There's a multitude of reasons you want to be like this.
Many today that shirt he's wearing today is one of them.
It's like a cowboy Hawaiian shirt like it's
it's it's looks like two face.
It's like looks like two face woke up
and needed to go to a to a casual barbecue restaurant,
like a business casual barbecue restaurant.
It's like if a reservoir dog retired to book a return.
What was it?
It's like if a reservoir dog retired to book a return, Florida.
Yeah. Yeah.
He looks like he's he looks like he's about to go buy some land
like for ranching or or
or it looks like he runs a you know, whatever.
You get the point.
I enjoy I enjoy all of your breakdown.
Yeah. Yeah. OK. Well, then cool.
I'll give you we're going to leave a little early.
What time we're leaving?
I don't know. Six.
Sure. You're the one with the show.
Yeah. Yeah. We're going to leave around six and we're going to get burgers beforehand.
So that way it can be nice and late, as always.
OK, great. Then we're going to an hour away.
And with this, as always, has been Ryan,
you know, there was probably a burger king is gone.
Gone.
It's been a pleasure to be on the podcast once again.
This is Jesse.
Jesse Ventura. When did he get here?
I see the body. This is not Bob.
I think people mistake me for Bob.
I'm not off the podcast.
I'm not on a Bob.
OK, well, I'm glad we ended that on a high note.
Good job following Canon, Ryan.
All right. Bye. Bye.
All right. That was the quality of that call.
I only have two options.
There's no medium.
It's like good, good or not good.
It was in the middle.
A little bit. Are they asking you?
Give me a one to ten. Yeah, I've never been.
I've never been asked about the quote. Who asked you that Facebook?
Face. Oh, it was a fake.
It wasn't Facebook Messenger.
Ryan's so weird about how he communicates.
It's not calling you. He calls on Facebook.
He's got a different name on Facebook.
Oh, yeah. And he and he only uses it to communicate.
Fucking whatever.
The fun thing to do is to cover your camera and say, dude,
everything looks right on my end and then have him try to figure his shit out
because he can't see you.
We don't really video very often.
We should. We should.
That's the fuck with them.
And that ends our commercial for Facebook video chat.
Yeah, it's a seven for me
on some days. Yeah.
So yeah, I mean, look, it's it's a this is a who done it
like a who's the who's the thing who's the thing.
The thing can like become anything.
Yeah. And it becomes somebody
and you're trying to figure out who it is before it infects more.
So because it has to learn, though, that's why you get clues,
because it has to learn how to be whatever it is.
Steve, I guess my question a little bit in this movie is the thing is only one thing.
But it breaks apart, breaks into two becomes more things.
But then it kind of morphs back into one thing again.
I don't know. I don't think it's like I think it's supposed to give you
like a hive mind thing that it can separate and come back to you.
Yeah, because at the end of the very last explode.
Well, I don't know.
You can't go in the last explosion thing.
And the amount of power that it was portraying while ripping through the
four boards was not I mean, he had three at the same time, right?
Because he picked up the dock.
He picked up the, you know,
I don't know, maybe the more time he's the it's the thing,
the more powerful it gets or the same levels, you know.
Yeah. Well, yeah.
And as it's absorbing more more multiple people, you get stronger.
So the Norwegians, they they almost got rid of it.
Yeah. Let's face it, Norwegians are weak bastards anyway.
Oh crap. It's hot take from Mike.
No racism on this show.
That includes I'm not sure.
I'm not sure you can be racist against Norwegians.
They'll find a way.
It's just that was just a bomb.
Don't do that. Yeah. That's what.
Don't do what the beep or the.
Yeah. You just got the buzz.
You got buzzed. Be nice to the Norwegians.
That's a that's a universal shut.
Yeah. Like no more.
Make it for the region. Stop Norwegian hate. Yeah.
But it just feels as though the entire thing wasn't like
its goal was to obviously continue to replicate and recreate, but survive.
Survive. Yeah, ultimately.
But it knew it had to.
I mean, when it was the dog,
it splooged up a version of itself into the roof. Yeah.
And that was the one that got away, right?
Well, they torched the the weird dog one. Yeah.
Is the thing rusty in the beginning?
Like it's trying to learn personalities.
It doesn't get too good because like it.
So it may it might not have gotten far enough in the process
if it was still a dog or maybe wasn't very good at being a dog.
Maybe it was a human at one point with the Norwegians.
I mean, we have to think at one point it was a dog
and also the curly head we do at the same time. Yes.
Well, it was the Norwegian that was what they brought back in the helicopter.
And I thought it was funny that they brought it back in the helicopter
and they put it on a table and it's like smoking like it is just smoking.
Yeah. I thought I did.
I was like, why is it still smoking?
They brought back. So it was still alive.
That was the one they brought back.
They brought it back a second to the thing. Yeah.
From the it was dead.
I think that one was dead. Allegedly sort of.
No, but then it started.
Didn't it then start moving underneath the fucking bag?
I think so.
I think after a whole concept in the beginning, and that's why I was stealing
and stalling about sludge and stuff because they found it in it.
In the all their shit was open at the Norwegians place.
It was all frozen in there.
Remember that even the blood dripping down from the guy's wrist was.
That was a cool, really neat, really neat.
What a cool like how cold is it to be for your blood to freeze as it's as it's
as you're like a claw bar.
Look in the drip. It was kind of sad.
And yet they weren't quite dressed for that weather the entire.
I felt like they were a light jacket.
I felt like they were most sweating on set.
I don't know. At one point, the guy says it's going to be negative 100 later.
I'm like, what?
Yeah, that's negative 100.
What? It can't be negative 100 Fahrenheit.
No, Celsius.
Usually they would use Celsius.
Mostly in another country.
Even is that that's extremely cold?
60. Yes. No.
Pretty close.
No. In Fahrenheit.
Yeah. Yeah.
How the fuck is something getting to negative 160?
The Antarctic is a movie.
That's the right temperature.
Yeah. Pretty.
I know this is not honestly.
I don't know.
But I'm pretty sure it's below.
And he's Googling.
Antarctic temperatures.
How Antarctic is cold is it?
Well, I mean, it's probably not.
We'll see.
Let's find out in the winter.
Just negative 45.
So negative 46.
That's that's average.
But it gets as low as for the average.
No, that's still the average because of global warming.
We got to remember this is 1972.
The world was not as warm back then.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah. This was even colder.
Antarctica is much warmer than it was.
Antarctic is like cold extreme.
Antarctica. Coldest.
Yeah. Very cold.
Negative eighty nine point six.
And then integrate.
Yeah. So it's negative.
Three. Yeah.
OK. Yeah. So it's pretty.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's 11 degrees Celsius.
So they're being a little bit exaggerating by saying like it's kind of.
You're right. Maybe there's bullshit.
It's like.
I'm glad we did. I'm glad we figured out that giant plot.
Oh, yeah.
That 11 degree plot.
Yeah. We don't give a shit about your time.
Thank you for listening.
But yeah. So cool.
They were being a little hyperbolic, but they you know, but it was very cold.
We got negative 100 later.
Yeah. OK. Probably in the 70s, bro.
Yeah. I like that he destroys a government computer, probably worth thousands of dollars.
Oh, yeah. Because of the chess game.
Yeah. Actually, that's the thing.
That's the only thing I actually wrote about this movie is why is this crazy dude just destroying shit?
I lost a chess game.
Oh, tricky. We had an idea.
We didn't follow through on it, but everyone drinks heavily in this movie.
Yeah. It's Antarctic.
Except maybe the thing.
Yeah, we thought that maybe the thing was so we didn't we didn't follow through on this.
But like we didn't check to see a curly head guy or if when the other guy
and they were drinking, if they stopped drinking.
Because everybody is handed drinks.
Wasn't the wasn't the old guy?
What? Didn't he end up being the thing?
He did eventually. Yeah.
The diabetes guy. Yeah.
So Wilford Brimley bottle still the right amount of vodka left on the table.
Right. Well, that's a deep cut.
I don't know. Yeah.
So well, that's what you know, that's we had that we had the we noticed how much was in it
when it was given to go back and check.
No, no. So I'd be worth the late comments.
Let us know. Yeah.
We're listening.
Comments in your head. Let us know.
Does the thing not drink alcohol?
Yeah, exactly. So organic.
Well, I probably couldn't because of the flame thing.
You would think if it's based on something, they got to burn it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Inflammable means flammable.
It doesn't want to have a bunch of alcohol.
Yeah. Yeah.
This movie was well acted.
It was the the body go.
The horror is grotesque.
Like there's not a lot of it, but it is grotesque.
When you're just like staring at it when it's there.
You're like, right. I'm out.
It gets right up in your face.
Sometimes just a nightmare fuel.
Well, even though even though it's old and you can tell it's cold,
it still gives you the creeps.
You know, it's still a good job.
I think the dogs helped with that so much because like my wife was so freaked out
by the dogs, I felt bad for the like when the dog's head did the thing
and when the dogs got killed.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, that was such a fucked up scene.
Yeah. That's not naturally in that scene was like really like, what the fuck?
Yeah. And it's a that wasn't dog.
I wasn't acting. That was not dog.
I was pure reaction.
I don't I don't think it says at the end of the movie, no dogs were harmed
in the making of this movie.
We didn't we stopped right then.
They were they were legally required to.
Yeah, they might not have.
But that might have been why they started doing that.
Yeah. This movie was a movie.
They didn't they didn't use Milo and Otis as an example.
You know what I mean? They
last I haven't seen that.
That's too too classic for me.
Supposedly they killed like over 150 cats making that movie.
Did they fucking just tabby after tabby after.
Or the fly off a cliff.
Whatever you wait, what's it called?
Milo and Otis.
No fucking way.
Those Milo's.
Yeah. The Adventures of Milo and Otis Wikipedia.
It's Japanese adventure comedy film about two animals.
Milo and no, this is not real.
This is definitely real.
This is it's shot over the year.
Four years reception.
OK, animal welfare allegations.
When it was released, some animal welfare organizations
alleged that a number of complaints from people have seen the film were concerned
that it was made with that, not without cruelty.
I had no idea it was a Japanese movie.
OK, doesn't give us numbers, but yeah, well, it's hard to tell from the dubbing.
You know what I mean? There's not a lot of yeah.
The animal dubbing. Yeah, you can't tell.
But good God, this is what you see.
This movie is not the this is like a yeah.
So look up like Milo and Otis English English, I guess.
Oh, is this not the right thing?
I mean, it's called the Adventures of Milo.
Yeah, that's the one.
A remake, probably a.
Oh, OK.
Look at this. I've been Milo and Otis.
Oh, it was a movie.
Animal deaths, I guess would be.
Where are we going with this?
You I just I mentioned it.
Yeah, you had to look at it.
Actually, literally the next animal animal.
Yeah, OK.
It's on snows. People snows.
You got a snows. Yeah, about 30 kittens or 30.
I was a little off my number, but shooting of deliberately.
Do you suppose that's true?
They were killed deliberately.
Go to the snow. We read the Wikipedia.
It was unfounded.
See in Hatton and Hannibal Holocaust gets a bad rap.
They only killed four animals in that movie.
You know, they only killed four.
Oh, a snuff film for kids.
That's the description.
Oh, God.
It's a great movie.
Tragic filming before tragic.
When you find out 30 kids have to separate the art from the artist.
And he always.
That is pretty brutal.
You know, you love that, Albert, growing up.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby painted up the paint.
Is it OK?
Is it OK to watch that, Albert?
Now? I don't know.
That's like fat shaming.
Yeah, it's all about that movie.
Also, Bill Cosby.
That's why I said you got to separate the art from the artist.
There's a lot of problems with it.
I don't know.
Can you separate the art from the artist?
Yeah, it's real sleeper.
I can and I can't sometimes.
So it's like sometimes an artist's personality just annoys me so much
that I don't want to watch them in movies. Michael Jackson.
Is that one for you?
No, music. I'm saying that.
Can you separate the art from the artist?
Oh, I don't know. I think an example.
I'm not. Well, he was in the way.
Jackson fan.
But you can't.
If the music comes on, you don't go turn that off.
That's Michael Jackson. We know Michael Jackson.
I know that he was some better than others.
Alleged stuff. Right. Never know.
O.J. Simpson. Just those kids.
Yeah. Probably watch roots again.
Because I know he's a one of football fans, but I'm not a big football guy.
So I'm not going to watch highlights.
Yeah. Oh, so fun thing about roots.
I'm going to go with Jesse Tangent. You ready for roots?
This is a fun roots thing.
I was dating a gal who was like 26, 20, 24.
And I mentioned Lamar Burton
or whatever from Roots as reading Rainbow
because she said she watched Roots and she didn't know who he was.
And I realized that she watched the new version of the roots
that came out in like 2011, not the 1970s version.
And I felt a little she on the new route.
She's on that new route.
That new dude. Yeah. Yeah.
So that's when I that was awkward when I realized like, oh, yeah,
that's all right. I didn't even know they made a new bridge in a gap.
They did. They did.
Why? It's a perfect show.
Could we? Yeah. You know what?
I had this conversation with my this is actually some we could talk about right
now. Perfect timing in the middle of this movie. Right.
It's a perfect idea.
But I had this conversation with my friend yesterday.
He told me that next year.
Would you mind?
I'm sorry. Thank you.
He told me that next year was, OK, unrelated.
I'm tangiting my own team.
We were talking about remakes or whatever.
We were whether to remake it, right.
Reboots, whatever. Right.
Oh, we were talking about Marvel movies specifically because he thought that I
was having superhero fatigue, which sure, like I think we all do somewhat.
Right. Yeah. I don't necessarily jump on every
Marvel movie that comes out immediately.
I usually wait for streaming now and I enjoy it at home at my leisure.
Right. I don't go to the theaters and whatever.
But but you still don't hate them like a lot of these people.
So I so I don't hate any more.
Right. Any Marvel anything? Right.
Movie or show or whatever.
It's just some I like more than others.
Sure. Anyway.
But then he says, but so he thought I was having, you know, superhero fatigue.
But I I'm the opposite.
I want to live in a world where constantly there's reboots and remakes.
I am down for another trilogy of Back to the Future starring different people.
Because here's the thing.
We have the originals.
They exist at any point in time.
You can watch the originals, enjoy perfect movies and move on with your day.
But why not have.
Twenty different variations of it, so it doesn't bother you when they screw them up either.
No. OK. Because sometimes I think out of all those screw ups, you'll get something gold.
Sure. They're going to be good and bad in anything you do. So there's what?
Yes. There's always going to be good or bad.
It doesn't matter. Remake or not.
I haven't seen the ten Fast and the Furious movies.
I've watched the first three. Right.
But I'm sure I want them to make 20 more
because I know that there's fans right now of Fast and Furious
that love them every single movie. Right.
There's what? Ten Mission Impossible's.
I stopped watching after maybe like three, you know, and I'm sure that those are my parents.
Love those. They look forward to them every year.
Everyone just leaving.
After. Oh, sure.
I didn't watch the one with Philip Seymour Hoffman.
I stopped after four and then watched like seven randomly.
It was good. You know, it's fine.
It's but that's the way I feel.
That's like whatever. Keep going. Who cares?
Right. Some people are going to introduce my parents.
Love the mission because they grew up on the show back in the day.
And oh, there's some gnarly stuff.
I like it, too, because I like seeing the stuff.
Yeah, I like seeing the next Mission Impossible stunt.
Yeah, he might even do them like, yeah, you can see those outside of seeing the movies.
A lot of times I watched like we've all seen that jump he did for this last one.
That was epic. Yeah.
Tom. Yeah. Oh, was it from the building?
The building? No, this is a jump off a ramp out in the middle of nowhere.
And it's crazy.
You should you should do Tom Cruise Canyon motorcycle jump.
It'll blow your mind. All right.
If you've never seen it, it's an amazing.
The most 80 watches YouTube episode of fucking Tom Cruise.
Is it? Go down one motorcycle motorcycles right there.
Yeah. All right. Because it's listening to us.
Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah.
It's amazing. Oh, whoa.
They say this job, it's it's it's insane.
So I'm looking at a giant rib.
He did this stunt, though, without.
Not a stuntman.
And this is why this makes sense, because it's still the Norway.
Yeah. Yes. Non tangents.
I mean, is this you have to respect him for his.
But it just it just looks like he's.
Oh, no, you haven't seen the job. You haven't seen the job.
All these experts.
That's some other.
OK, I'm going to skip forward to the job.
Yeah.
I are jumping out of the helicopter.
He's going to chase me.
That's where he's going to be.
Look where he gets most popular on the thing.
Yeah.
OK.
Thank you, you two, for the most replay.
Yeah. They get to the point wave.
You got a drone over him.
Fucking insane stunt.
You know, he pulled the line.
He pulled the first time.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, look, the directors are so relieved they didn't kill.
Oh, we didn't kill Tom.
They're the only ones.
The science.
This would be so bad.
All right, listen, they get somebody to sit in front of shit on the stunt.
But have you ever seen like wingsuit people jump?
Oh, yeah, but they're not just actors, Tom Cruise.
They practice that their whole life.
This is not the same.
I don't think this is as impressive as holding onto the side of a plane with suction cups or climbing up the burst cleave.
Those are way more impressive.
This is also because you would skydive.
I would not.
I have skydived.
Yeah, I will not skydive.
I would tandem, but I want to go solo.
But so you could do the first pull cord when it doesn't go.
Yeah, that first time was cool.
He wasn't able to pull off a sexy face with the wind and like rippling everything.
Yeah, I mean, this is it's cool.
I mean, I would.
The thing is, I would do I would want to do this if they offered this as an experience to ride a motorcycle off a ramp.
And then parachute on.
Andy, can you even ride a bike?
Of course I can ride a bike.
I don't know.
I'm a wait.
Let's ask you.
Can he ride a bike?
I've never seen him.
I do.
You've never seen him.
You don't know how long.
I mean, I've known him a while since what age?
At least high school.
High school.
So in high school, since high school, have you been on a bike since high school, since junior high?
Yeah, just go to the gym.
You're saying yes was such a big.
Yeah, sure.
I was on a bike once in Madagascar.
Are you trying to win an election, Mike?
Because what's with these attack ads right now?
Just out of fucking nowhere.
It's just you even know how to ride a bike.
Are you upset at Mike from going off a subject?
So back to the thing.
Back to the movie.
Basically, we get it.
It was let's let's let's get our general impressions and we'll rate this thing.
Yeah, it's probably our least in depth review, but everyone's seen the thing.
We some of us have it.
It was my first time.
It's my first time.
Yeah.
So anyway, I let's get started with you, Sean.
Just a quick synopsis of how I felt about it.
Yeah.
And then you're out of the way.
The ratings because they the ratings, they want to be CD.
Oh, yeah.
T. Well, no, no.
How do the ratings work?
She wanted to know how the ratings work.
So we start with B, which is, you know, pretty good.
It's better than most.
Second place is a B plus.
And then we got that we got C.
And then we got B minus B minus.
So we got to before you bounced, I wanted to get B minus.
OK, the overall feeling of the movie, I was actually I enjoyed it very much.
It was it wasn't that slow.
It kept it going.
I think that realistically, this entire scene was only like filmed in one area,
you know, aside from the offshoot of the spaceship UFO stuff.
But in general, I like just it was just well compacted.
And it definitely didn't lead you to believe that there are aliens still exist,
but kind of did it again.
Are you the alien?
One man ever known.
Have a drink.
That ending that ending where they're just sitting there, the two of them.
Right.
And I was like, maybe even they just wait this out.
Yeah, because well, there's no way they knew they were going to die.
I mean, it's just the way to die.
OK, because because when the thing about it, you know, yeah,
the thing about it, the thing about the thing is, yeah,
at least it's easier to Google than it.
Google it.
You're trying to find out.
Have you watched it?
Watch what?
Exactly.
You know, the thing.
Throw.
I've seen the thing.
I love sketch there.
A little bit.
Yeah.
But anyway, I get that ending was fucking brutal because like they're going to die.
Yeah, they know they're going to die.
They're just waiting.
Wait, did I?
Yeah.
Do you hear?
Yeah, I thought maybe it was a cat.
That's good.
Well, that bedroom door open and shut.
And I just wasn't sure.
It did sound a little bit like hitting dying.
No, I can see the children from your window.
Milo.
You can see the children from your window.
Not sound right.
There's not children on the golf course.
There is one.
There is one blind that's a little more yellow than the rest of the blinds.
Yellowed.
It's yellowed.
Why?
Perhaps from like finger grease or something, just from hearing the children through the
blinds.
No, wait, you guys are making it sound like I'm a playground.
So it's a golf course and it's typically old people anywhere.
It could be a playground if you're brave enough.
Yeah, I think I think my neighbor, it's veterans day.
My neighbors are, you know, having people stop making me sound like a pervert.
Your neighbor would be so defensive about being a pervert.
I always get defensive about pretty much any attack.
Yeah, someone did just run into the house.
Just move.
Just toss or are they calling to get out of one of your rooms?
Yeah, she just checked out the murder room.
I mean, yeah, did you see the puppet?
And she can keep a secret.
What grade?
So yeah, I didn't actually give it a grade.
Yeah, I would agree with T. B minus is just a really good solid grade for that.
That's where I'm at to be minus.
Well, like I said, it was a strange watching experience because I felt like I was watching a sequel, even though it was like way before all that.
But because I hadn't seen it and it's but it's very well done.
I mean, there's no there's you just can't tear the movie down like anything like that.
It's just enjoyment wise.
I was like, oh, I've seen this before. It's great. You know, whatever.
It's good movie. Well made.
B minus.
B minus also.
He said B minus and you said B, Sean.
Sean, you said B minus.
You're all on B minus.
I enjoyed it.
I mean, turn only maybe it still holds up for you.
Some parts were kind of silly because it's over, but at the same time, it still had the creep factor.
So it still got its point across.
So I'd give it a B.
Oh, it's all a B.
Yeah, it's all a B.
There was a fainting.
There was one scene where like they were all it was we had to replay.
It was so funny. But there was like it was when the doctor went mad.
The doctor went mad and they were all restrained from diabetes.
Yeah, diabetes.
So they were straining him, right? His feet were tingling.
I think two of the actors just sort of I didn't know.
I probably they didn't know what they were doing, but they just sort of like fainted away.
Like, oh, like at one point like a soap opera at Windows.
He's against the wall and he has the most overacted.
Like I'm falling into a concussion, like eyes rolling to the back of his head kind of thing.
And then one of the other guys just goes like sort of fades off.
It's so silly.
With the back of his hand on his head.
Yeah. Did what are you going to give this?
Solid B. Solid B.
I think I'm going to go with B plus because I really liked the I didn't know that was an option.
Yeah, it's the highest rating people.
I really liked the best movie he ever saw.
What B plus would be like the best movie you ever saw.
Yeah, one of those.
If I break anything else, it'd be plus than I put it up there as a not big horror fan.
You like that a lot?
I like I think horror.
It takes a lot to scare me in a movie.
Yeah, well, I said I didn't get scared by this movie was horror.
I know it's the genre of horror, but it's more that sci fi horror that you would not show this to kids because they would know.
I would let my kids see this movie.
My granddaughter was a cartoon.
I mean, there's puppets.
My granddaughter would watch this movie with me and not be scared.
She's 10.
She'd pick it apart.
I went to the days to the kids today are so much more the blood and shit doesn't bother them.
Yeah, once they're like old, old enough, like 10, I would say 11.
They just don't care.
But I went to rewatch it last night to take notes.
And my four year old woke up.
Oh, four year old would be too much for this is 10, 11, 12.
I had him take some notes.
Depending on their maturity.
He takes some notes.
Yeah, but Junior High, Junior High, this is every junior I would love.
It's a scary movie, though.
Yeah, it's a horror movie classified as horror.
It's scary movie.
Yeah, I'm saying it's classified, but it's not that it's not.
Here's some.
It's not horror.
It's disgusting.
The thing trivia that still doesn't give us the point.
Does it?
Is it a horror movie?
No, I'll go back.
Right.
It's sci fi.
Fun trivia would be that horror.
Horror mystery sci fi horror mystery sci fi.
Right.
Boom, motherfucker.
I don't know.
The genre is just bigger than a lot of people were given.
When I think of a horror movie, I think of something that makes me kind of sick.
I don't really like them.
Yeah, I this is a disgusting movie.
If you really look at all the grotesque stuff, it has a disgusting part.
The movie's not around on the floor.
It's not.
What did we watch that was split in the girl and it's not terrifying.
Yeah, it's not terrifying.
That's a fucking horror movie.
Yeah, but so scream.
It horrifies me.
This is a horror movie.
Did this movie horrify you?
So it has to horrify you specifically to be a horror movie.
Yeah, does it have to?
Well, no, but that doesn't mean it's not a horror movie.
If it doesn't horrify you specifically, it's still a horror movie.
Did it horrify you?
You were horrified.
Change it.
OK, if I anyone if I watch a family, Mariah Carey's Crossroads horrified me.
You know what I mean?
Crossroads, I think it was called Glitter.
Sorry, Glitter.
Crossroads.
Mariah Carey's Glitter.
Glitter.
Spears also was in Crossroads.
Yeah, I make them up.
I love scary.
Also scary.
That is if I watch a movie made for children, is it then not a children's movie?
Because I as an adult watched it.
You're talking about if you watch a horror movie, but you're not horrified by it, is
it then not a horror movie?
You're adding things into what I said.
I never said any of that.
You just said this is a horror movie.
Because it doesn't horrify you.
To me, it doesn't horrify me.
To me, I put it in more the sci-fi than the horror category.
In other words, it's not to me that cutting the girl in half, that's a horror movie.
That's horrifying.
I do not want to see it.
I don't want a horror movie.
Did you watch an edited version of this that didn't have people really watching it?
Didn't have people mutilated together like in a...
Yeah, what about the guy with the tummy teeth?
Yeah.
A dog rips open and fucking guts pop out of it.
It's great.
They do an autopsy scene where they're pulling out guts from a fucking...
Did you at any point feel like that's real?
They did real practical effects.
I thought it all looked amazing.
So is Child's Play not a horror movie?
Is Child's Play not a horror movie for you?
Because it's kind of goofy?
I'd have to re-watch it.
Horror comedy? No, like Scream is not horrifying to me.
I don't get scared.
I never argue with IMDb.
Horror movies make me scared or they don't make me scared.
John Carpenter stated that this of all of his films is his personal favorite.
I would too if I were you, John Carpenter.
Because this is probably your best.
Spot on assessment, John Carpenter.
About yourself.
It has become a tradition in British Antarctic research stations to watch The Thing as part of their
mid-winter feast and celebration held every June 21st.
That's cool.
That's great.
Brendan, read the next one.
Which one?
This right here.
Unused music composed before the film was later used by Ennio Morricone.
Hard words.
Quentin Tarantino's The Hateful Eight.
Ironically, Morricone's Thing score was nominated for Razzie for Worst Film
while his score for Hateful Eight won him an Oscar.
That's insane.
That is pretty cool.
Huh.
Very cool.
Look how they cheated the breath.
I love that one.
Jesse, let's get your velvet.
The film is considered a benchmark in special makeup effects.
The effects were created by Rob Botton who was only 22 when he started the project.
It sounded like you said bitch mark.
And then Mike, this is your favorite.
Kurt Russell took a drag on a cigarette at the beginning of certain shots in order to
make the breath appear more so the cold.
That sounds like such a fucking I just want to smoke on set.
It will make you look like a fucking cult.
How long was he holding it in between cut?
Ready?
That's some like.
Shut.
He just throws away the cigarette.
That's why you never see his hand in any of the scenes.
Hey, listen, we should be drinking the whole time and I need to smoke a cigarette to make
it look like it's cold.
But it is interesting.
It is interesting because now they would do all that with CGI.
Back then they had to figure out a way to do that.
Yeah.
So we watched.
Oh, no.
OK.
A lot to give the illusion of an icy Antarctic conditions.
Interior sets on the Los Angeles soundstage were refrigerated down to 40 degrees Fahrenheit
while it was well over 100 outside.
That sounds like paradise.
Yeah.
Well, because everyone's cold or you get there.
If you're an actor on set, but there's a lot of lights that probably warm it up pretty
quick.
I mean, but you even you got to think like, do you think how do they get to 40 degrees?
Even if you're in a soundstage.
Yeah.
Even if you're indoors, do you think that like filming in a hundred degree in a hundred
degree house versus the same house in 40 degrees would feel and look a little bit different?
Yeah.
You're wearing a lot of clothes.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, especially if you're wearing jackets and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Fuck it.
It was the L.A. summer.
And they're like, we need you to put on this parka and these pants that show off your butt
a lot.
Kurt Russell.
Yeah.
So we watched last night.
Let's get off this.
This kid is not.
I know.
I know this fucking after the thing that everyone dies on.
What was it going to type in the thing from 2011 from another world?
Oh, yeah.
Nineteen fifty one.
So we watched this.
We watched this last night.
We didn't really watch it.
We zoomed through.
But what's crazy is this.
No, no, no, no, no.
So so this serves almost as if they weren't American, if oh, wow.
If you wanted to not know the twist ending, when you Google this, it literally says James
Arness is as the thing.
And then everyone else gets their character names under the original more like body snatchers.
No, it's it's a U.S. Antarctic research station.
And they do fight off of the thing.
But there's a chick there and only one person turns into the thing.
So it's more like a giant Frankenstein looking monster at the end that attacks them like a big zombie
looking thing that they know flamethrowers in this one.
Ladies and gentlemen, they because they're a bunch of scientists, they come up with a way to Jerry
Rigg in a bunch of electrodes to electrocute this thing to death as it was attacking them.
Big the big finale.
But if you were to make them Norwegian, this serves as the prequel to our original
the original 10. Right.
Because yeah, because we would just imagine that the electric electricity doesn't work.
Right. And now the thing has gotten all of them.
And then she goes real dark after that.
And to be fair, in the movie, there were dogs there were there were dogs all over the place.
So because there is you could definitely see the influences that John Carpenter, who probably
watched the shit out of this movie, took.
I mean, it's not beat for beat at all.
But anyway, did John Carpenter write the sequel?
The thing we watched, who wrote it?
The successor? No, I don't know.
John Carpenter wrote the thing.
Because who wrote? Yeah, that's what I'm wondering is who wrote it?
Well, John Carpenter is the thing.
The writers? No, he's not a writer. Not a writer at all.
Bill Lancaster, who wrote Bad News Mayor.
All right, cool.
Bad News Bear and the other guy wrote The Thing from Another World 1951.
Oh, no, they're just using his.
No, it says known for the thing for another writer in 1951.
But they're referencing his work.
Yeah, he's the source. It's based on this one.
So he died before this one.
And then the other. Oh, yeah, he died in seventy one.
He was born in nineteen ten.
So he wrote it. John Campbell wrote the original and then the other guy was born pre movies, I think.
Right. No, not pre.
Wait, when did movies come out?
What about the Nickelodeon something? Yeah.
We. Yeah, it's amazing.
It's amazing how now we can just look all this up.
Used to be used to try and find this in 1894.
Public screen, public film screening. Well, OK.
But not the earliest movie.
So I'm sorry that I was all fine.
Parlers.
Now, when did movies become available?
Very fascinating.
Eighteen ninety five.
Edison's Kinetoscope.
Yeah. And however, it wasn't until eighteen ninety five that what are we doing?
Nothing. Nothing.
I'm so sorry.
Although it's relevant to the entire segment in the sense that it is about movies and when did we get the first start watching them?
Right. Yeah.
You know what? It would make sense that the one time we pick a good movie like The Thing is one where we get a little bit more more into the culture or in the in the history of movies.
Well, yeah, it's just doing that in the years and the I heard that they when they showed the train coming at the screen that people got up out of their chairs and screamed and ran because they thought it was real because they'd never seen anything like that before.
Yeah. And it's just so completely silent.
They're just like, oh my god, do you hear that train piano starting up?
His piano engine.
Dolly, we got to get out of the way.
Yeah.
Or a business suit and a dress way too big.
Every movie, everybody just points and looks and stares when I'm running.
You know, speaking of. Oh, wait, let's wait.
Yeah, it's B minus.
Oh, yeah, we're good. So I guess it's a B minus.
It's a B.
No, it's a B.
I don't think it's a B.
I gave it a B.
Yeah, he had a B plus two Bs.
A B plus two Bs and three B minuses a B. Solid B.
Solid B.
Of course, The Thing should get a solid B.
Yeah.
All right, great.
Well, it would be stupid if we said anything otherwise.
It's incredible as an audio podcast about movies.
Let's make our suggestion.
I had OK now who has one locked and loaded.
Raise your hand.
Sean, I mean, I kind of do.
OK, well, then, Jesse, did you have one locked and loaded?
But we can't have seen them before.
Right. That's the idea.
Well, we you can't not know.
Wow.
The idea is I haven't seen it in five years.
I want to rewatch it.
It's so good.
I know Mike's got one locked and loaded.
He's very passionate about idea.
But I got to remember the name.
OK, so you look that up already.
So we're going to start with.
Mike, we're going to get OK.
We're going to start with me because you were saying that this is the one you saved.
It's the last one I saved for last in our winter of cage, winter of cage, which people have been following.
We have big winter cage.
Mike's been referencing the whole he's recommended a Nick Cage movie the last three or four.
Yeah, it's five.
Yes, yes.
Try and get through through Christmas because then we'll switch to two of them got picked.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Yes. Well, we're going for the big three and my pick is Mandy.
Oh, winter of cage continues with Mandy when a nighttime nightmare cult attacks red and Mandy.
It leads to a bloody rampage of vengeance.
What could be more cage than that?
Well, Mike, you son of an old bitch because you're not not your mom.
That actually I like your mom.
She's not an old bitch.
I want to I was going to go somewhere.
I want to go somewhere else with that.
Right. Old son of a bitch.
And again, when I say son of a bitch, you know, I just mean you're yes.
You bastard.
Right. Not again.
Not your dad. I've never met him, but much closer.
OK, but if he is a bastard, he's closer.
You bitch. That's a great.
That's a great choice.
What do you got?
Mandy.
It's it's I will say this from on Mike's behalf.
That fucking movie is the one Nick Cage movie that we should have covered on this fucking podcast a long time ago, because that's like perhaps it'll be the finale of the winter cage.
It's the finale.
It is like right in our wheelhouse of like Nick Cage and his most like crime.
Yeah, but we also did just do two Nick Cage movies like they were both great.
I mean, I think I was like, oh, I'm going to go.
But then I also made you all watch future sports.
We're in a world of make believe.
It'll work.
Sean, it's just kind of normal categories.
And I was just kind of looking at movies and kind of older that I don't know.
It couldn't have been a big budget movie, in my opinion.
But it's a little different.
Tales from the crypt.
Oh, yeah.
Which one?
Bordello's or the 1995 version.
I think it was the original feature.
Probably Bordello blood and Demon Knight.
I haven't even really watched.
I just know that I mean, it just seems like that.
Yeah, we could do two main movies aside from which one's the better one.
I saw Bordello blood in theaters and it was a good time.
A lot of it.
We could do more about there you go.
He might even change his own fucking boat.
OK, so you got a double blood tails from T.
Did you have one?
OK.
Brendan.
So I went a little different than you guys, I guess.
I don't know.
It might be a chance.
I don't think there is, but it's a movie from 1999 starring Russell Crowe.
It's called Mystery Alaska.
Oh, residents of a small town get overexcited about their hockey team, their pond hockey team.
And then they challenged the New York Rangers to a game.
You have to realize he's he's a hockey guy.
But I but it's a good movie.
Yeah, it's a good movie.
You watch The Mighty Ducks, right?
Yeah, it's a great lead up into Christmas time.
It's a nice hockey movie talking about winter.
OK, all right.
I'm just saying that's a great alternative to maybe.
Jesse.
Hey, hey, how's it going?
Oh, you're Jesse.
Jesse Lee.
That's a strange movie.
Fucking weird.
But it's a good time during such things called Bavarium.
Bavarium.
Is that what Jesse?
Jesse Eisenberg and Emogen Poots.
That's that movie's fucking bizarre.
I know.
Gene Boots.
Boots are damn.
That's such a good weird movie to talk about.
So it's hoping to find the perfect place to live.
A couple travel to a suburban neighborhood in which all the houses look identical.
But when they try to leave the labyrinth like development, each road mysteriously takes them back to the place that they started.
So basically, it's like they're in unit nine and they just can't get the fuck away from unit nine.
And then the same old kid.
It's all thing.
It's a kid.
So if you've all seen it, maybe I've no one has.
I haven't seen it.
It just sounds interesting.
I haven't seen it.
But it's good.
Is it ground?
No, it sounds like it's there.
I hate it.
No, no, because it's like he is not going to like really Groundhog Day because there's like there's a plot that happens where like a thing has to be completed.
I guess.
Yeah, right.
You know what I mean?
There is a thing.
But it's something.
Yeah.
It almost feels like a black mirror episode.
Yeah, it's really, really bizarre shot.
Really cool.
Yeah.
Real interesting.
I like Jesse Eisenberg.
Yeah.
This is how we're going to do mine.
T. Give me a number between one through twenty seven.
So it's going to be.
Oh, he's back to the random crap.
I thought we weren't doing anything random ever again.
The volume I don't believe is on a.
No, because he has a list.
Oh, it's Christmas.
Oh, God.
So he's trying to start Christmas.
I'm going to count the seventh one in one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
We're going to.
Why are we watching fucking Christmas twister?
Chris.
I know.
Wait, Chris, can you pick six instead?
No, you're going to cheat your own.
You cheater.
Christmas.
Cheater.
Stick to the rules.
Where's the where's the info on this one?
It's a heartful action drama holiday movie.
On Christmas.
Yeah.
Action drama holiday.
You don't have enough of those.
On Christmas Day, a city is struck by a massive storm sprouting several deadly tornadoes and leaving a meteorologist to try and save his family.
Casper Van Dime, we're talking about fucking Starship Troopers.
He's the one that stars in it.
Victoria Pratt, Richard Bougie.
You know how bad this is just by looking at the look at the look at the related.
You may also like trucks, just trucks.
You know, you turn you die.
You know, you're going to die.
Based on a short story by Stephen King.
But then didn't he also write Maximum Overdrive?
Yes.
Yeah.
Wow.
Today, the day after tomorrow is today in Arctic Apocalypse.
I don't think you're allowed to do that.
Oh, Tornado Valley.
Yeah, you're just because it has a tornado.
We can see these are bad.
OK, well, that's my Christmas twister because.
I made an agreement I'll go this is the last week where we're not going to do.
But they will be able to suggest a Christmas the next two weeks.
Right.
Christmas movies because they were going to have they're going to be Christmas episodes.
And I like the season of Christmas and we didn't do much for now.
We can do that every fucking episode.
But Halloween with all the fucking horror.
Let's take a vote.
If you want to vote for Christmas twister, raise your hand.
Oh, Jesus.
I'll put my vote down.
OK, who wants to vote for Tales from the Crypt?
Actually, I would do that one.
Or Dullablood. OK.
That's pretty good.
Stay with Mandy.
OK, who wants to vote for Mandy?
He's voting on every movie.
It's like this gets tough.
OK, we got oh, we got five on Mandy.
OK, I do want to watch that.
Mandy and he was both from Mystery Alaska.
I just voted for Mandy.
Yeah, I do want to ask it to.
Oh, my God, I win.
Yeah, I just well, actually third.
Three times.
Don't worry.
I'll capitulate to your Christmas movies next week.
I'm sure I can find a Nick Cage Christmas movie.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely.
I know.
It's probably Nick Cage meets Christmas.
The opening scene of the movie is like the best.
Why are we watching Mystery Alaska right now?
What are you doing?
I'm going to watch Mystery Alaska on my own.
You watch whatever you want.
But Mandy won.
All right, we're going to watch Mandy.
That's the thing.
I forgot we were doing a podcast.
We watched the thing.
We already watched the thing.
That's the movie we're going to watch.
I'm going to watch it.
What are you doing?
She's going to bed.
We're about to wrap this up.
We're about to wrap up here.
We're wrapping it up right now.
OK, good.
Yeah, she had a great time.
She's ready for the cow.
She must be feeling with the audience is feeling right now.
She grabbed that.
Yeah, actually, you know what?
No.
Yeah, why I bought doughnuts for everybody.
No, I'm going to have it.
Did anyone want a candy cane?
It's next week, Christmas.
Yeah, it's really you already got prepared.
Wait.
I'm going to have to close the podcast.
Not until I have to close the podcast first and then deal with the doughnuts.
I don't know.
Fucking anyway.
Oh, that's you.
Do you have anything else on your list today, Andy?
No.
No, I don't.
You are so high.
Yeah, well, I should get higher.
Anyway, guys, this has been well, yeah.
As he goes to sleep in the corner, trust me, you will not be the first person to sleep on that couch.
At least say goodbye before you say goodbye to you.
Goodbye to you.
OK.
Can you throw me that blanket right there, please?
Well, half a blanket anyway.
Well, OK.
This was.
I.
Oh, yeah, I didn't know if you want to bring that up, but a few of you podcasts ago, we talked about how it was chances birthday and that teammate him a gourmet five star meal.
He did just pass away.
OK.
What?
I think he passed away.
Yeah, it's her dog.
Yeah, it is very sad.
What was the five star meal?
Just curious.
You were part of the episode, I think of the third episode.
Yeah.
Where was the steak?
All the fruit.
See this gray hair?
It was the steak.
I'm very old.
She made the steak.
It took the.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's OK.
Yeah, dog food and like made it look.
Made it look that way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK.
Well, she's her.
I do know.
She's.
We all deal with grief in our way.
That's very sad.
She's not normally this flippant about.
That's very sad.
I think you should take a nap.
Yeah.
OK.
She's hurting.
But anyway, but.
Oh, wait.
Here's my right.
I guess.
Oh, my.
Cocoa is fine.
She loves it.
We like.
I can't forget the music.
Yeah.
Everybody, everybody close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Well, it doesn't matter.
I'm just going to pick the next one.
All right.
Here we go.
Here on.
When I end this, when I end this show, I like to.
I like to.
Hmm.
And then when I end this show, I like to edit was some copyright free karaoke.
I think so.
That's a like.
Yeah, well it was.
Give it to us.
It was copyright free.
Oh.
I'm fired up.
He's tired.
I say I want it that way.
Tell me why you want it that way.
What?
Two words apart.
It's four?
Yeah.
I can't reach to your heart.
Just four.
Well, because she's reading it, not because she knows it.
I want it that way.
Tell me why ain't nothing but a heartache.
Tell me why ain't nothing but a mistake.
Tell me why I never wanna hear you say that I want it that way.
Ladies and gentlemen, this has been Fried Rice Podcast.
With me, as always, has been my backstreet boy, Sean, probably,
he'd be AJ, what's his name?
Who are the members of this?
Hold on.
We'll be tight here.
Tangentine the Owl.
It's unprecedented.
Let's see.
Never before done.
Let's see.
Tangentine the outro.
I think that should take 10 seconds.
He's making it 20 minutes.
Sean, AJ, McLean, Delmsley Britt.
We have Mike, Nick Carter Larson.
We have Brennan, Kevin Richardson.
We have Jesse, Lee, Howie, Darrow, Hart.
With me, as always, is Teresa, Britney Spears, Delmsley Britt.
That's right.
And I, of course, am Andy, Justin Timberlake Rice.
And I've been your host.
This has been Fried Rice Podcast.
Thank you so much, everybody.
Have a wonderful night.
Thank you.
Have a wonderful night.