1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Okay, so welcome back to another episode of the Say Less Pod. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,840 Sorry it's been a while. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:13,320 I think like the last episode I posted was not last year, but it was kind of close. 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:18,560 Okay, yeah, January 17th of 2024. 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:24,600 So it was like this year, it's just now you get one like anyway. 6 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,720 I don't know what's life has been like. 7 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:29,720 Let's just put it that way. 8 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:42,720 And honestly, haven't really been able to like just pick it up and then just like start recording. 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:46,720 Also like hanging out with friends, doing a lot of different things. 10 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:50,720 You know, life has been life, but not like necessarily in a bad way. 11 00:00:50,720 --> 00:01:03,720 2023 was a rough year, mental health wise, like everything, just all these emotions kind of got bubbled up to the surface. 12 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,720 Because I am not a crock pot. 13 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:13,720 I am a pressure cooker and then it just kind of like blows up. 14 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,720 I try not like it doesn't blow up on people. 15 00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:26,720 It just blows up on myself and then because I promise I'm not going to let anybody else get wet from my storms in my life. 16 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:34,720 So, you know, but anyway, that's long story. 17 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:45,720 We're going to go into this week's episode and kind of I know this is a long time coming because when did 18 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,720 Bird Box come out? 19 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,720 Let's see. 20 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,720 But that's what we're going to be talking about today. 21 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:58,720 Like Bird Box, one of my co-workers, they were actually like, you need to go watch it. 22 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,720 And I was like, okay, oh, 2018. 23 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:05,720 So 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24. 24 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,720 That's like six years. 25 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:20,720 The reason why I did like, I know it was a challenge like do like the Bird Box challenge where you blindfold yourself and like walk around your house and see if you can do that. 26 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:26,720 Did not participate in that trend because one, I am clumsy. 27 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:33,720 Two, yeah, you really wouldn't have wanted to see me do that challenge. 28 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,720 So here's like the breakdown of the movie. 29 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:41,720 Like I say, one of my co-workers told me, hey, you should watch it. 30 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,720 I think you would enjoy it. 31 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,720 I was like, oh, isn't that like a dystopian movie? 32 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:50,720 Kind of is dystopian. 33 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,720 The break that down for you a little bit. 34 00:02:53,720 --> 00:03:00,720 It's basically like the opposite of utopia like Divergent and all those movies back in the day. 35 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:10,720 It's like, but yeah, like Bird Box, great movie, pretty good message. 36 00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:19,720 Like probably like a solid nine and a half out of 10. 37 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:24,720 The reason why I can't give it like 10 out of 10 is because I do not. 38 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,720 The only problem I had with it. 39 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,720 And yes, it was rated R. So what did I kind of respect? 40 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:38,720 But was like the blood gushing like when people have like the puddles of blood that I could deal with. 41 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,720 That was no problem. 42 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:51,720 But it's like when people like when people come at you like with an axe or something and they're just like kind of like not a grappling. 43 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,720 It's not a grappling hook. 44 00:03:52,720 --> 00:04:00,720 It's some type of like grappling hook is something totally different Caroline, but it's something like that. 45 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,720 And I was just like, I can't with this. 46 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:11,720 So for me personally, I'm and I'm not one of those people that like visibly screams. 47 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:16,720 I'll just like kind of like when someone like that's that's that's gross. 48 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:25,720 And like, you know, I'm just not that person. I'm not the person that's full on full on screens. 49 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,720 I just don't find that interesting. 50 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:37,720 But so here is what Bird Box is basically about from what I can gather. 51 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:50,720 It's how like there's always something that we need to be fearful and or like like fearful in life and and you know, 52 00:04:50,720 --> 00:05:06,720 these worst fears that people had imagined their whole life or kind of become manifested like when they look at into this light or they look into this screen. 53 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:12,720 Not like an actual screen, but like into the brightness. 54 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:20,720 They're seeing how life is truly like what life is truly about. 55 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:32,720 And I will say that while there are definitely a lot of things in life that we need to be fearful of, we don't need to be fearful about everything. 56 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:39,720 Because I know some people and I mean this in the nicest way possible. 57 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:44,720 But I've even had some friends who would like see like the storm clouds and I'm not talking. 58 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,720 We're not talking storm clouds here. 59 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,720 We're talking about like people in their life. 60 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:55,720 They have like a storm rolling about bound you around you. 61 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,720 If I can English. 62 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:06,720 So maybe I set it up completely for this episode when I was talking about like my mental health not being so great last year. 63 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,720 Like when you have like different things going on around you. 64 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:16,720 Sometimes you can only see like this rain and the storm and that's all you feel. 65 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:26,720 You know, some people can learn the dance in the rain and some people only feel the effects of the rain and they're like, oh, it's raining. 66 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,720 Now I got my coat wet. 67 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,720 Now I'm all like messy and muddy. 68 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,720 And it's just like, yes, this is true. 69 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:42,720 Like, but honestly, there was so much better to look forward to. 70 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,720 So there were a lot of things to be fearful in this life. 71 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:50,720 And that's what it kind of brings out to me with this whole like movie. 72 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:56,720 Like the one person Sandra Bullock's character. 73 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:02,720 I feel like she is afraid of and this may just be me personally. 74 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:09,720 I feel like she's afraid of actually turning into her dad because she was like, my dad was never there. 75 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:18,720 And like in the very, very beginning of the movie, when they're kind of like talking about the character development. 76 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:23,720 She's like, I'm not going to have an emotional connection with this child. 77 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,720 And they're like, well, when it's your own child, it's something different. 78 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:33,720 Like you have that instinct to protect and she does want to protect them. 79 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:40,720 She does appreciate them, but it's kind of like more of a survival mode. 80 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,720 She doesn't want to get attached to them. 81 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:49,720 That's why it's boy and girl for like half the movie. 82 00:07:49,720 --> 00:08:06,720 Because it's easier than that actually get them names and be attached to someone to sometimes it's easier to disassociate, disassociate, to suppress those emotions and pile them down. 83 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:12,720 That's why even when now this is just my personal hot takes. 84 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:29,720 So even when what's the person, the name Tom, it wasn't that long ago that I watched the movie, but sometimes I forgot. 85 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,720 Like, I think his name was Tom. 86 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:45,720 Anyway, so he's telling like the kids the story about like how they would climb trees and how they were living life just doing the most. 87 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:51,720 And she was like, you can't set them up with those types of things. 88 00:08:51,720 --> 00:09:02,720 You can't have them believing that this world that life is going to be good and that they're going to be able to experience those things. 89 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:08,720 For one, she had to be tough when she grew up. 90 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:17,720 Because her dad was emotionally abusive. 91 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:30,720 And she even is reminded of her dad when that one person is kind of in this kind of safe house environment. 92 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:50,720 So she has like a mental capacity and a mental strength that not a lot of the other individuals possess, I think, in a lot of ways, because it's like, okay, I had to protect myself from certain things. 93 00:09:50,720 --> 00:10:07,720 I'm going to protect these children from the things that I wasn't protected from when I was a kid. 94 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:20,720 And sometimes it is very crazy when your worst fears are kind of manifested. 95 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:37,720 Some people would say that you kind of bring these things onto yourself with the way that you grew up or the way that you were raised. 96 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:50,720 Sometimes even like the environment at Udalland. 97 00:10:50,720 --> 00:11:05,720 Because the one person, and he's willing to like kind of risk his life for it all, risk his worst fear. 98 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:10,720 In order to actually protect and save the other individuals. 99 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:15,720 And you see that timing time happen in life. 100 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,720 In all actual life. 101 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,720 And I'm like, I know the bird box is just a movie. 102 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:29,720 A lot, a lot, a lot of you can't really judge most of it off of that. 103 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:37,720 But it goes back to, I don't know if that's the right saying. 104 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:42,720 I'm just going to say it's kind of like the devil that you know is better than the devil that you don't know. 105 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:48,720 I might have completely messed that up. 106 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:59,720 But like sometimes it's like it is easier to kind of like live life, just kind of breeze through it. 107 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,720 And put your head to the grindstone. 108 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,720 Not really thinking about life. 109 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:12,720 Like I say, disassociating, walking through the tresses. 110 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:17,720 Versus actually tackling it head on. 111 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:34,720 And so like some people, I think like Tom, one of his like main things was kind of like finding love. 112 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,720 But it was like kind of like he found love in the wrong places. 113 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,720 I believe. 114 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:58,720 And like, you know, once we have kind of like that safe space in our minds, we can kind of let all go down. 115 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:01,720 And that's like at the very, very end of the movie. 116 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:12,720 Like they even though they are safe, they are out of the woods, there is nothing that can hurt you anymore. 117 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:21,720 We are still kind of like in the back of our mind, we playing everything that could go wrong and that did go wrong. 118 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:25,720 So she is still afraid to remove the mask. 119 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:35,720 And if you've ever been in those like situations with maybe a friend or like even if you're meeting someone for the first time and they're like, it's a safe place. 120 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,720 You can tell me anything. 121 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,720 And I'm like, is it really though? 122 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,720 Because I cannot just like tell you anything. 123 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,720 I don't know you like that. 124 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:52,720 You know. 125 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:57,720 I'm not going to tell you my full life story and they're like, but I'm not going to judge. 126 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,720 You might after you hear it. 127 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:08,720 I'm not going to give you like the opportunity to kind of have that insight into my life. 128 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:13,720 Also like offer like unsolicited advice. 129 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:24,720 But yeah, there's a lot of things I mean some people like have, you know, basic fears and people call them like irrational fears. 130 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:31,720 But some people like fear, maybe like home invasions. 131 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:48,720 Some people like fear like heights and like spiders and things like that. Those are like normal like every day like fears that you would encounter. 132 00:14:48,720 --> 00:15:11,720 There was some there were some fears that have already been kind of have happened and have been paraphrased over and over again. 133 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:21,720 Like maybe they just happen one time. But in the back of your mind, you're always thinking, you know, like, okay. 134 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,720 Those daddy issues that I have. 135 00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:33,720 I'm not saying like me personally, I'm saying just in general, like. 136 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:46,720 They cause me to have trust issues to go through this to fear abandonment to all of these different things, you know. 137 00:15:46,720 --> 00:16:02,720 That's something like with trauma. I feel like we sometimes gravitate and we hold on to that because we're like, what if that's why we can't really move forward and we don't ever know that was safe. 138 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:15,720 Because we're like, what if it happens again? What if someone lose me because I'm not enough. I'm not worthy of being enough. 139 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:31,720 And when sometimes your worst fear ends up happening to you, sometimes you're just like, I really hope that it doesn't happen again. 140 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:38,720 So you do everything that you can to try to prevent it. 141 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:48,720 That sometimes I find and I feel like even with the movie, it kind of like brought this out. 142 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:55,720 Like Sandra Bullitt's character, I feel like she's like the main character and everybody else's side characters. 143 00:16:55,720 --> 00:17:01,720 You can kind of let me know what you think with the movie, but I feel like she's the main character. 144 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:11,720 And with like these two children, one of them was her child boy. 145 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:32,720 And then the girl was actually belonged to one of her friends that she met in this kind of like, it was kind of a safe house until someone from a psychiatric facility got into the house. 146 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:56,720 That's, yeah, that's if you haven't watched the movie, go watch the movie. But anyway, she's trying so hard to protect them that I feel like sometimes we kind of unknowingly make people afraid. 147 00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:03,720 Okay, so I feel like there's difference of like opinions, probably with that. 148 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:23,720 But what I mean by that is when we unknowingly make somebody afraid, you see this all the time, especially, I will say especially like kind of with parents, I've seen it because they're like, I don't want my kids to go through anything that I've gone through. 149 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:29,720 And it's like that I have mad respect for that. I do. 150 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:43,720 But you can't in some ways you can't protect your child from everything. You have to let them know that, hey, there are some dirt bags. There are some f boys. 151 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:56,720 There are some ways they will whatever you want to say. There's some people out there who will try to hurt you. 152 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:08,720 And if I could protect you from everything and all like the horrible, horrible, nasty that I could. 153 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:16,720 I mean, there probably is. If I could protect you from all that, I would. 154 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:25,720 But I can't protect you from every single thing. I will try to protect as much as I can. 155 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:38,720 Like if you have someone coming into your house and you know what they are capable of and you have them under your roof, I have some questions for you as like a, like individual. 156 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:46,720 Like why you knew what they were capable of. 157 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:55,720 That's something totally different than if like you didn't know anything about this person. You didn't know them from Adam and then something happens. 158 00:19:55,720 --> 00:20:01,720 Okay. Yeah. Should that have happened? Absolutely not. 159 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:13,720 No. Okay. But be there for like your children. Be there for like people 160 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:18,720 who might be going through like a similar situation or whatever. 161 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:35,720 I mean, I've seen this played out in multiple situations like people who don't have a good like relationship with their spouse or like their boyfriend. 162 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:49,720 Sometimes try not to have other people be involved in relationships. And it's like, yes, yours maybe didn't turn out the way that you hoped. 163 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:54,720 I'm sorry for you. I really am. 164 00:20:54,720 --> 00:21:01,720 But that doesn't mean that their joy is not wanted. 165 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:16,720 Yes, do you need to tell them maybe about like the concerns maybe about the statistics that hey, like this amount of individuals, this X, Y and Z happens. 166 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:31,720 Maybe you need to like alert them of the situation, but don't allow them to live in fear like make them aware of it. 167 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:44,720 But also like let them know that there is good in the world because like I say some people sometimes I noticed that we are so focused on the rain. 168 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:50,720 That we don't really see like the sunshine like moments. 169 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:56,720 I'm not saying like, hey, I'm not like a toxic positive person. 170 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:02,720 I'm like, just drink some coffee and everything will be okay. 171 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,720 Like we're going to have a great day today. 172 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,720 Like it's like, no, that's that's not the story of life. 173 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:23,720 That's not how things go. But like it's okay to like romanticize certain parts of your life and be like, this is this is totally fine. 174 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:30,720 I don't have to be fearful of life and fearful of what could happen. 175 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:44,720 Do I need to be aware of it and even okay, you're walking home late at night. Do you might want to not be on your phone and be aware of your surroundings? 176 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,720 Yeah, absolutely. Case in point. 177 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:58,720 But are you going to be fearful that something could happen? 178 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:06,720 I can honestly tell you like time and time again, usually it's not worth the panic attack. 179 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:25,720 It's just at least for me, it's like if I can spare a panic attack every once in a while, I'm going to try. 180 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:32,720 Honestly, there's nothing wrong with panic attacks. 181 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:45,720 But they are scary and they do kind of they tell you that something is about to happen. Sometimes. 182 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:51,720 Sometimes it's just your mind going off from either like past trauma 183 00:23:51,720 --> 00:24:10,720 And the best way that I can describe it is if you've never had like a panic attack before, it is like about like all these fears, like just kind of going off in your brain. 184 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:16,720 But the best way to describe it is kind of like a smoke detector just like going off and like beeping continuously. 185 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:32,720 And I have this happen recently. So I know it is annoying. And it's like you can either change the batteries, see what's going on, see if you have a fire in your house, or you can just ignore it and hope that it goes away. 186 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:39,720 But sometimes it's going to come back if you don't address it. 187 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:49,720 If you don't address that fear, hit on and say, okay, these are what this is what's happening. Why is this happening? And kind of getting to the bottom of that. 188 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:58,720 Okay, so I need to I need to change the batteries in this smoke detector because it is chirping and keeping me up at night. 189 00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,720 I can't ignore this problem anymore. 190 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:14,720 So yeah, panic attacks for me, like it's your kind of put your hand on your chest, try to like help it. 191 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:34,720 I don't know exactly why it is that you like kind of I don't know what but it's like I know that I do that too. Like it's like I put my hand on my chest, but kind of like whatever like we people trying to stop it. 192 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:46,720 And but yeah, they're basically like the fears that are just kind of like coming up and bubbling to the surface. 193 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:59,720 Like it's like your stress, your anxiety, all these different things that is like I had shoved down for so long and now they're finally coming to the surface. 194 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:05,720 So hopefully that explains that point too. 195 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:25,720 For you, if you're not not familiar with it, that's I know that's a super weird analogy of how to explain like mental health, but that's just kind of the way that my mind works sometimes. 196 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:45,720 I would definitely love to hear anybody's like kind of thoughts or like hot takes on like either like bird box or like your fears, what that kind of like means to you and maybe how do you like resolve these fears? 197 00:26:45,720 --> 00:27:04,720 I would say if it's like, honestly, I find that like talking to someone just kind of like getting those fears out and knowing who can truly be your safe space. 198 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:19,720 If like if someone who is like you are 911, like when you're going through a hard time, who's your 911 that you call? 199 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:34,720 Now, if I'm going through like a certain emergency, I have people that I contact with that. 200 00:27:34,720 --> 00:28:01,720 But like honestly, not that you want to make this person your entire position like life or but you want to know how people in your corner and not just the people that's going to be like hyping you up or the ones that tear you down, for instance. 201 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:09,720 But someone who can be with you through thick and thin and also the individuals that okay. 202 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:23,720 So case in point, I some of my friends in the past and like that's why 2023 was also a rough year. 203 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,720 I've had some fair weather friends. 204 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,720 Okay, not even gonna lie. 205 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:34,720 Now, do you want to like put a disclaimer on this? 206 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:41,720 Probably both of us did not handle things the way that we should have. 207 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:50,720 So it's like it's not necessarily on any body like one particular. 208 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:58,720 So that's that's that's cool. That's whatever. 209 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:16,720 But you see, sometimes people are like fair weather friends like when life is kind of like sprinkling when you know, or it's like completely sunny and you're like, okay, let's hang out by the pool. 210 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:35,720 Let's do that. But when like tornadoes and hurricanes come and it's like natural disaster type things, like I said, I will never ever try to like make anybody get wet from my storm. 211 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:51,720 I used to like in for the longest time in my life used to think that I had to like if someone else was like drowning, I would try to rescue them send them off to shore all the while while I would be drowning. 212 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,720 But I was like, well, I got to time my drownings better. 213 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,720 We can't be drowning at the same time, right? 214 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:10,720 And then I realize, wait, that's that's not a thing. Sometimes life doesn't necessarily play an oh, your friends going through something hard right now. 215 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:16,720 Sorry, you got to be going through an easier thing. Yeah, I forgot. 216 00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:24,720 Life it's like, no, life's not like that. I'll give you a pass like, life doesn't always do that. 217 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:53,720 I realize that. And so sometimes it's like you have to like, no, okay, these people are going to be there for me, like when times are good, when times are great even also when times are kind of like, mid or they kind of like it's like I can deal with the mid too. 218 00:30:53,720 --> 00:31:02,720 Like when I am completely completely in my feelings and I'm like, I need a hang out. 219 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:18,720 I'm not usually the best person at now if you need someone to be your cheerleader or to talk you down from like doing something, I will be there for you 100%. 220 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:38,720 Like it's like, you know, don't have to worry about that. If I'm going through something though, I'm like, I am okay. Am I going to be a burden? What do I do? 221 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:53,720 And sometimes like it breaks me out. But like it's like, like I said, with that being said, know who you actually have in your corner. 222 00:31:53,720 --> 00:32:22,720 Because there may be some people who might pretend to be in your corner may pretend to have you back, like all the time. But one thing that I would like ask you, ask yourself if something, if something happened, like, 223 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:43,720 to you, would they even, like, let's say, let's say you were on the side of the lead and this is how you know someone's in your corner. 224 00:32:43,720 --> 00:33:06,720 Would they try? Would they be the one calling 911 if they catch and do with blood? Would they be the one that's doing CPR? Or would they be the one that would just walk away and not even care if anything happened to you? 225 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:18,720 If they were like, you know, I don't do well with blood. I will, as you can tell from like the movie, like it was really a great movie. 226 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:41,720 I don't mind the rating as much. I just don't really enjoy blood scenes. But it depends on the blood. If it's like some movies, they look like they got stabbed with grape juice and I'm like those movies I can deal with. 227 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:54,720 Some movies it's just like, oh, okay, we're doing that. Like, you know, when they come at them and they just like stab them and it's like a blood water fountain. 228 00:33:54,720 --> 00:34:13,720 I was like, oh, blood fountain, maybe? I was like, first of all, I'm not a doctor and honestly could never be a doctor. But is that supposed to happen? 229 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:32,720 Like, I don't know. Was that just like Hollywood? Like saying, this is what happens? Like, it's like, not that I want to like, but it's like, does that happen? Anyway, that's like besides the point. 230 00:34:32,720 --> 00:34:49,720 I just can't really deal with those types of scenes. So I've even told people, I'm like, you know, we have like this training at my job. It was like a tourniquet training. 231 00:34:49,720 --> 00:35:05,720 And I was like, you know what, if you need someone to comfort you emotionally, I will be there for you. If you need me to put on the tourniquet, you better ask someone else because I can't do that. 232 00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:24,720 Because also, one, I am super awkward. Second, I don't know if I would get it tight enough, like around, because like how I know that people say there's good Samaritan laws that will protect you. 233 00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:43,720 But how far does the good Samaritan law go? Because it's like, I will literally check on you, make sure that you're okay, call the ambulance, sit with you, and I will try my best to hype you up in that situation. 234 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:57,720 And if I have to lie to you, what I mean because people's like, does this look bad? Like when they have like blood on it? I'm like, nah, no. 235 00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:10,720 What? You're not even looking at it. Yes, exactly. Because I can't look at it. And because I have a horrible poker face, like I just, I can't. 236 00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:19,720 But I will try. I will try for your mental safety and your mental stability to be there for you. 237 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:35,720 But if someone is in your corner, they're either going to be the one calling 911, doing the CPR if you need it, grabbing the tourniquet, 238 00:36:35,720 --> 00:36:46,720 they're not going to be the one that's like walking away. At least they tried something. 239 00:36:46,720 --> 00:37:03,720 And so I would just encourage you to like kind of check on that and evaluate your friendships, evaluate your relationships to see if hey, would they even care? 240 00:37:03,720 --> 00:37:21,720 And then also like when you are fearful, like sometimes what helps is kind of like doing, what helps me personally? 241 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:41,720 Now if you are like, so meditation helps if like your faith based, if you're spiritual, if you're like, you know, not so, like it helps like anyone, 242 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:55,720 even if you're like doing like, I mean the statistics, you can check on the statistics on that. It does actually help like your mental stability a lot more than you would actually think. 243 00:37:55,720 --> 00:38:12,720 So sometimes what, if I feel myself like zoning out and like having like a panic attack, I will like literally focus on like an object. 244 00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:28,720 Now don't stay too long because this has gotten me in trouble before, but don't like, like look at something where, and if you can look in a least populated area, 245 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:38,720 that's what I'm saying it's got me in trouble for because I'm like, oh my gosh, no, I wasn't staring at you, I was staring at like the wall or something. 246 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:58,720 Anyway, so funny, funny thing, that's a story for another time. Anyway, so like just, you know, look at a wall, also, see, counseling, 247 00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:13,720 you're always like here, probably me, so that if you ever, also like some grounding techniques of like the three. 248 00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:30,720 So it's like three things you see, what you feel, what you hear. Now some people do like the five, four, three, two, one, some people blow blow out candles. 249 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:47,720 Basically, what that means, like five, four, three, two, one, it's like five things you see, four things you hear, three things you smell, two things you can taste, and one thing, it's like the five senses, but one thing you feel. 250 00:39:47,720 --> 00:40:07,720 I might have got that like completely messed up. It doesn't necessarily matter if you're like doing like five things that you see or like five things that you hear, it mainly matters of okay, because some people will get like more focused on like, oh, I did mention four things that I, whatever. 251 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:28,720 And it's like, it's not so much on that as much as like looking at, okay, and this was actually from like a licensed therapist that I've learned this from, of going through the technique itself and just saying, okay, this is what, these are the different things that I'm focusing on. 252 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:48,720 And it helps you to focus your attention elsewhere versus not necessarily like on your fear. So any type of distraction is always like helpful. 253 00:40:48,720 --> 00:41:01,720 Like, some, sometimes I know that sounds like really crazy, but like one time I was, I think I was having like a, like I was anxious like all day. 254 00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:17,720 And like one of my friends was like, hey, you want to talk about it. And I was like, you know what, maybe later, but right now, and they're like, well, we're probably going to go like, I don't know what we're going to do, but like we're going to do like 255 00:41:17,720 --> 00:41:37,720 some type of like fun activity, like maybe like bowling or like watching a movie or something. And so I was like, okay, let's, let's do that. And they're like, really? But don't you, I was like, I really just need to get my mind off things. I really don't want to think right now. 256 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:47,720 And so sometimes that's like helpful, like in the moment to keep yourself busy. And then like later you can deal with it. 257 00:41:47,720 --> 00:42:06,720 So that's, like, if you ever find yourself like kind of getting worried, and like you know, like a friend who can kind of like talk you out of that, always talking with them one on one. 258 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:18,720 Or like maybe they even see you. So you make you like actually heard. 259 00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:47,720 I know it is sometimes very hard to find friends that you can't lie to. But when you find those friends, I promise you is like one of the best things possible. Like it's like whether you're having a good day or you're having like a midday to not so great day, like finding the friends that they're like, no, something's off about you like today. 260 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:58,720 Because then you can kind of talk them through and know that they'll listen, know that they'll hear you, and that they'll respect you. 261 00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:27,720 Like I say, that is sometimes very, very rare to find. But say it's sometimes fun to lie to people about those types of things. Because we're like, I'm fine. We both know what not. But we'll be okay. 262 00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:56,720 And then last of all is like kind of something is too is like finding maybe like if you listen to podcasts, if you listen, if you watch like movies, or you like read books, like find some like self help books about like the specific topic. 263 00:43:56,720 --> 00:44:05,720 Like maybe like fear, anxiety, like how to kind of like work through that. Like one on one. 264 00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:21,720 Or like even like making a playlist, because like music is completely like one of my like main like therapy forms, or like even like some type of like creative like project creative outlet. 265 00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:37,720 But I always find this helpful, like for specific specifically for me, why can I not English? I'm like some days I am fine and some days I fumble my words. Anyway, 266 00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:57,720 like finding that type of space, we can just kind of like look into different outlets avenues or if you find that like, okay, makeup is kind of like your outlet. 267 00:44:57,720 --> 00:45:19,720 Like, I've known that sometimes what I've had to do, especially when like the fear, the fear comes, and then the depression comes and you want to switch back to some of your old coping mechanisms. 268 00:45:19,720 --> 00:45:48,720 Like that was so healthy. Like maybe just like picking up a pen and kind of like writing out your thoughts. Like, if you're not like so much into like journaling, but like, let's say, maybe you like poetry, you can do like poetry, like slam poetry, written word, or like spoken word, I guess. 269 00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:58,720 There were like some really good like spoken word like poetry out there that could even like get you started with that. 270 00:45:58,720 --> 00:46:13,720 But like, I've written some like poems down and I even have like, I've recently started getting back to poetry, because for some odd reason, like writing my thoughts down like journaling used to be kind of easy. 271 00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:30,720 Now it's like, from the time I was like maybe like, I want to say like I started like actually writing poems when I was like a teenager. 272 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:55,720 I do like regret that I like threw away some of like my journals, but I didn't want anybody to kind of like see them and kind of like write about them and then because some of them were like really dark and probably should have sought therapy then. 273 00:46:55,720 --> 00:47:15,720 But I'm like, I still they're all in my head. Right. Like, I remember like certain ones that I put in like the certain topics that I wrote about, because they're just like so ingrained in me. 274 00:47:15,720 --> 00:47:43,720 I remember like topics like the power, really, really weird. And what kind of what journals I wrote them in. But I like threw my journals away just because I was like, I don't want anybody to like, maybe read them, even if it's like a future like relationship that like they kind of like 275 00:47:43,720 --> 00:48:04,720 picking up and it's just like, what were you going on? Like, I don't want anyone to have that unsolicited advice. So I'm just like, I just, I just, but I have like started getting back into poetry. 276 00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:18,720 Now, even now, some of my poems, it's just a way of like me kind of like processing my emotions. 277 00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:47,720 Because poetry, it has like a lot of like symbolism. And so it's easier to kind of like grasp the concept a little bit more for me, specifically, other people like reading it, they might have to have like a translator, but it's like, to me, like those, everything kind of like makes sense. 278 00:48:47,720 --> 00:48:54,720 When I'm writing poetry, doesn't have to make sense for everybody. 279 00:48:54,720 --> 00:49:03,720 So that's like one avenue. If you are into like art, because art therapy is a thing. 280 00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:17,720 Like maybe like kind of drawing like different pitches of kind of like what you're feeling like at the moment. 281 00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:34,720 One, like I say, even like making a musical playlist, I have like a musical playlist when I was going through like friendship breakups kind of. 282 00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:54,720 I have like a playlist for that, because it's like it kind of like helped me like process. Even like before I knew what was kind of going on with that situation, I was like, I should not kind of relate this song every time that I hear this song in the radio to this, this situation. 283 00:49:54,720 --> 00:50:05,720 But like it kind of like helped me process my emotions, understand kind of what was going on at that particular time, and even like help me to heal. 284 00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:11,720 Because like, it's like this therapy in different ways. 285 00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:28,720 I mean, definitely know yourself with maybe getting like a, you can get like a, there's like a self love book that you can get on Amazon. 286 00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:45,720 So like even like working through that, what encourage you to do it with someone, but you can look into that. 287 00:50:45,720 --> 00:51:03,720 Kind of getting out of like your house, getting out of like your mind and just kind of like going maybe for walks and different things around like your neighborhood. I'm like trying to like even like figure out like what is the best. 288 00:51:03,720 --> 00:51:18,720 Like what's the right word? Like what are the best things to do in my area? Because there's something around like every single place. 289 00:51:18,720 --> 00:51:38,720 And just kind of like figuring out different events. I'm trying to be better about that because right now I don't do that enough or as often as I would like because I'm like, I get healed by that type of thing being out and about being with people, like just tapping kind of like a fun time. 290 00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:59,720 And like I said, that's kind of why like I haven't even like posted on the podcast because I've been like pretty busy and it's not like a bad busy. It's like you have you have something with this friend one week and then you have something with this one. 291 00:51:59,720 --> 00:52:11,720 And then that's the person and you know, it just kind of like happens that way. And like I say, nothing, nothing bad. 292 00:52:11,720 --> 00:52:38,720 But because of that, I haven't been able to kind of like do the podcast. But honestly, it's like it's one of those things where it's like I'm in like, I'm not saying like 2024 has been like, you know, all cracked up to be some people's like, 293 00:52:38,720 --> 00:52:56,720 this is your year, the change do better and just all this different things. Yes, joining it, still kind of like figuring out the routine and getting into the rhythm of 2024. Yes, and do you still need to like build out those daily habits and those routines? 294 00:52:56,720 --> 00:53:15,720 I think so. I'm like, you know, there was some things that I would have never expected would have happened in 2024 but also some like great unexpected things. Like I say, 2023 was a wild ride for me mentally. 295 00:53:15,720 --> 00:53:31,720 So 2024 actually doesn't seem that bad. Like, you know, I heard this one and I think it was like maybe on a podcast or something like a podcast snippet. 296 00:53:31,720 --> 00:53:52,720 But it was basically like this one person was saying how they just wanted things to be level and not really any highs and lows and then I think it was like a therapist I told them, hey, like, it's the highs and lows of like that kind of make this life all like worth it. 297 00:53:52,720 --> 00:54:16,720 Because, you know, when you look at the flatline machine, if you're lying, it's straight across your, you're not really like moving nothing. I mean, that's putting a lively but like, you know, but with the waves on the machine. 298 00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:28,720 That's how you know, like, to your life. Life is lifing, maybe not in like the best ways, like possible. 299 00:54:28,720 --> 00:54:51,720 But I will say if you stay and like if it's like a wave, that's, that's okay. Because you will eventually make it over like the next high point. We can actually like fully like come like be okay in that moment. 300 00:54:51,720 --> 00:55:07,720 But I will say if it like transgresses like it did for me, like, and they kept going down would on like kind of, I guess it's not like like a bar graph. 301 00:55:07,720 --> 00:55:30,720 Anyway, so if it keeps going down before like you reach that like higher point where you can be okay. I would I would encourage you to seek professional help even so 988 is always available. 302 00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:42,720 It's like the mental health helpline. So I would definitely definitely encourage you to look into that. 303 00:55:42,720 --> 00:56:09,720 If you have not been able to yet. Just please, please, please don't stay there. I do know what that's like. And I would rather rather stay on the phone with you for hours, like kind of like just, I know sometimes people like say that. 304 00:56:09,720 --> 00:56:20,720 And it's sometimes seems like a cliche with how many people would kind of say it. It's like, you can always talk to me you're not a burden. 305 00:56:20,720 --> 00:56:41,720 But no, seriously, like if you are going through something like reach out to someone like anyone that is your life is worth so much more than you probably even know. 306 00:56:41,720 --> 00:57:03,720 Okay, like you will with way more than that. And I'm really sorry if other people I'm kind of going on a tangent, but I will get the carrot and come back from that bunny trail. 307 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:14,720 I promise you, just talk to someone, someone who may understand what you're going through. 308 00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:35,720 And like know what your worth is. Because for one, you never really know. 309 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:51,720 Maybe you are the reason that someone like kind of wakes up every day like with a smile on their face. But like people need in their life. 310 00:57:51,720 --> 00:58:12,720 I know sometimes people might not say that. Sometimes people make you feel otherwise. But don't kind of let these like fears overwhelm you and like kind of distract you from like the main goal, who you are meant to be. 311 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:35,720 What your purpose is, who you are. Yeah, I just, I can't stress that enough. I'm like, I do, I know what it's like to kind of go through that and just not feel like you have anyone in your corner. 312 00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:59,720 I just, you know, but I promise you, like it is always something that you can kind of hold on to or someone. 313 00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:19,720 So I would just definitely encourage you like to seek out some help if you don't have that. And if you like remain in fear, maybe like, even if like the panic attacks have gotten too much where it's like, I cannot function anymore. 314 00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:37,720 I will tell you like straight up I'm like on meds right now because of that. It's not, it's not anything to be ashamed of. 315 00:59:37,720 --> 01:00:05,720 Mental health is no joke and it, but I just want to encourage you that there's like always like better out there for you. 316 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:17,720 Like even like with life and like with some, yeah. 317 01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:35,720 Well, that's like a really big tangent and maybe some of it doesn't really make sense probably towards the end. But like, you are worth it. You are loved, you are respected. 318 01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:53,720 And someone, someone does need you. Okay. I know sometimes it's harder to see the bigger picture now, but there's always something worth living for. 319 01:00:53,720 --> 01:01:09,720 So find your purpose, know you're worth. And also like, yeah, if you need to seek help, seek help, seek professional help. 320 01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:25,720 Okay, that was clear. I, well, that is the end of this episode. Again, sorry for like the bunny trail towards the end, but thought that it might need to be mentioned. 321 01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:41,720 Until next time, peace and see you on the next one.