Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi!
Hey babe!
How's it going?
I'm good, how are you?
I'm good!
Happy New Year!
Are you excited?
I am excited!
It's... Merry Christmas!
We kind of picked...
Yeah?
Well, I don't know, we passed over Christmas.
We passed over Christmas.
Listen guys, we took a week.
It was Christmas, it was family.
We took a vacation, holiday.
Yeah.
Gave everybody a break.
Yeah.
Had the most amazing conversation with... what's wrong?
I'm laughing, you're like, gave everybody a break, like we have a big staff working
on our podcast.
Gave everybody the time off to celebrate family.
I mean, the two of us, hello!
We work hard.
We do work hard.
I think it was just funny, the way I heard you say it.
We gave everybody... we gave the team the day off.
I mean, it sounds kind of bougie.
It does, a little bit.
I like it, I like it.
Listen, one day, maybe, I don't know baby, it might just be you and me for the rest of
our days.
Yeah, who knows?
I'm not mad about that though.
I'm not mad about it either.
I kind of like the fact that you and I just get to be in here by ourselves.
Yeah.
Yes.
It was... but the last time that we were in here, we had Patti and Stuart, and that was
so much fun.
That was fun.
It was different having so many bodies in here.
Yes.
So you got to play with all of your toys.
I did.
And you got to see exactly what you are able to do.
Yeah.
And that was good.
I mean, I know we said it after Heather, and definitely now after Stuart and Patti, we're
definitely going to have more guests.
As weird as it sounds, I know we heard a message recently about not making resolutions and how
that's based in paganism and all, but it's like, I think goal for 23 is to have more
guests.
And it's on the books.
It's on the books.
We just don't know specific dates yet.
Right.
I know that it's just, yeah, we're kind of just, okay, father, how do you want to do
this?
How do you, because the reality is we also have a couple of other, what are they, the
things in the fire.
What are they called?
Irons in the fire.
Thanks, babe.
So I was like the pokers.
Irons, I was in branding irons.
The little pokers.
The little, ooh.
That's what it's from.
Is that really?
Yeah.
Okay.
So we've got quite a few things going on.
So let's give you kind of just a quick update overview of what's going on, and then we're
going to jump into what we want to talk about.
Yes, we will.
So one of the things is, you know that we've been, I mean we kind of have been, I've been
subbing and I have very sweetly declined the extension of my time there.
You're still subbing.
I am still subbing.
It's not full-time subbing.
Not full-time subbing, which ultimately made me a teacher.
I mean a full-time teacher.
And so the moment I declined, I say the moment I declined, what, within 24 hours?
I get a message from some friends of ours.
They have a nonprofit organization.
It's 10, 18 strategies for those that are interested.
And they help with exploited children.
And that is a huge umbrella for a lot of kiddos.
And it's not just, because immediately people think exploitation.
They think, oh, it's a sexual situation or it's something of that nature.
No, it's not.
It's abuse.
It's not just any kind of abuse, any form of abuse, mentally, emotionally, spiritually,
physically.
Exploitation.
Not just abuse, because there's more to it.
Yes.
So yeah, it's a huge organization.
We're still learning it.
Yeah, we are.
But we've been asked to walk in, kind of bring our two cents with it.
Luke and I were talking about, we're doing some training, learning how to do some...
How to watch out for it and all that.
It's called the Watchful Eye Program.
Yeah.
It's about how to watch out and how to see things.
And then me bringing in the teaching part of it, being able to maybe bring in some teachers.
And hopefully we hope to get some stuff into people's hands so other people can see too.
We shouldn't be afraid of the enemy.
No.
Okay?
We need to be wise as serpents, gentle as doves, and we need to have wisdom.
And one of those things with wisdom is asking God to give you knowledge.
And when he gives you that knowledge, then you are now accountable for it.
And on a tangent, I think that that's one of the reasons why people kind of push back
on it because they don't want to be accountable.
No.
No, they don't.
That's my two cents.
So we've got that going on.
We're going to start doing our relationship journal.
Yes.
Yes, we will.
Possibly start walking out the book that we're talking about writing because we are going
to be writing a book.
Yes.
It's just kind of a whole lot of different things.
I mean, you still have your woodworking thing.
You've got your amazing podcast.
It's called The Equipped.
The Equipped Man.
Yeah.
Yes.
I was going to say just do your plug, baby, because for those that don't know, Luke has
his own thing going on.
For those that don't know, it's a man's podcast.
I'm basically exploring what does it mean to be a man of God in the 21st century.
I've got about a dozen episodes out there now.
And again, just like this podcast, I'm planning on interviewing some men and finding out some
strategies.
And again, it's like, how do we walk this out?
As much as we on Upfront and Undivided talk about walking out all these really great communication
and relationship strategies with my side project, I'm talking about how do we walk out these
manly, masculine principles and how do you do it under the umbrella of the kingdom of
God?
Right.
So, yeah.
23 is going to be an exciting, exciting year.
Yeah.
And I keep prodding you to start your own podcast.
Not really sure what it's going to look like or what it's going to sound like yet, but
I know it's been a bug in your ear, not just from me, but from others.
Well, and it's the reality.
Okay, guys.
So, all of our listeners are friends that actually have a chance to have conversation
with us.
The reason I'm stuck, I'm stuck on what do I even call it at this point?
I've got the concept.
I figured it out.
I've had different friends that have really kind of mentored me through it or just talked,
just got that sounding board for me.
And it's kind of like you.
It's just what is the practical life and what are some things or just bringing things to
the forefront.
I've got some amazing friends, fierce women of God that have passions and that have certain
God things inside of them that stand up for righteousness, that stand up for justice,
that give voices to the voiceless, that give people that opportunity and to be something
that otherwise they wouldn't be able to be.
And so it's like I want to talk to all of my friends.
It's like basically all of you guys coming in and having conversation with us.
Like we sit down, we have coffee.
It's not so much girl talk because it's not gossip.
It's not backbiting.
It's women uplifting, it's women of God lifting up other women of God and giving each other
a platform and giving each other that space to say, listen, this is something that's really
heavy on my heart and I want to share it with people because ultimately we're all created
to do something.
It's what is it?
It's not that one is greater than the other.
It's giving space for everybody to come alongside each other and say, you're really good at
this.
I want to gleam from you or hey, I have a friend over here that's interested in this.
I want to introduce you.
So it's that kind of thing, which actually kind of brings us into what we want to talk
about today.
Yes.
Because it is the new year.
It is now 2023 for those of you listening live or listening in the future.
And a lot of times people say new year, new year.
We don't like that.
New year, new you or whatever.
Yeah, new year, new you.
Yeah.
So yeah.
We're not a fan of that.
So we're calling this new year.
Now what?
Yeah.
Because that is always a good question because it is.
Like I said, we learned recently that sometimes resolutions are sometimes based in pagan traditions
and worldly matters.
And really it's like, what is a resolution even?
Because so many times resolutions lately over the past several years have become a punchline.
They're just a joke.
Because we go to a gym and the running joke is the gym is really busy for January and
maybe half of February when all the people are like, I'm going to the gym.
That's my new year's resolution.
Which is awesome.
It is awesome.
Yes.
Get healthy.
Be wise.
Be productive.
Yeah.
And it is by mid to late February, all of these people that were all going, oh, it's
like they're gone.
I think last year I made a comment of, I wonder how much with this whole, the resolutions and
the whole stuff, it's like, I wonder how much the fitness industry, not gyms and all that,
but the clothing, the shoes, the accessories, it's like how much money gets spent between
December, January, February, or at least December, January of sports clothing.
I'd be curious to see those two months compared to the rest of the year.
Wow.
So now this in my mind is like, do I go, do I, you want me to go Google that?
No.
I'm just going to keep you out of me, speaking and questioning the air.
Rhetorical.
Yes.
Not rhetorical.
Yes.
So again, it's this whole, because we don't like that whole new year, new you.
Because it's kind of pointless.
Because I don't know.
I don't know if it's because of my age or what, but I know we were talking the other
day.
It's like, it's just turning the page.
It's celebrating the new year.
We're just turning the page.
One of the thoughts I had was just because the calendar changed doesn't mean that you
changed.
Shoot.
It is.
I'm still Luke.
I'm still the same person on December 31st as I am on January 1st.
Nothing has mystically changed.
Yes, I can give myself to God.
I can set goals and all that.
But if I'm not walking it out, if I'm not actually acting on the change that I want
to see or making the changes I want to see, it doesn't matter what the calendar says.
I think that is.
Like I said, maybe just realistic of my age of we don't need to party anymore.
I don't need to party anymore.
Well, I mean, what did we do for New Year's?
I actually had some friends at church because we went to church New Year's Day.
Yeah, because it was Sunday.
It was Sunday.
And number one, I mean, how much cooler to go into the presence of the new year than
to be in the presence of God.
So a whole bunch of friends are like, what did you guys do?
Y'all up late?
I was like, no.
1030.
In bed, turn and look at you and you go, babe, we got like a whole hour and a half.
And I was like, uh-huh.
I love you.
Happy New Year.
Give you a kiss.
Rolled over.
Went to sleep.
It's so romantic and so awesome.
Oh, yes.
But it's real.
It's real.
And it's and what I did, I did find myself and it was so sweet because you and I said
it, you know, both said it because like we woke up in the middle of the night.
I woke up in the middle of the night, number one, to check on her daughter because she
had gone to a youth lock in with the young adults.
And I was like, just want to make sure you're still there all as well.
Excellent.
She's still good.
And in the process, I remember vaguely just standing and just I say standing, I was laying
there laying there and just simply saying, I just said, Father, thank you for another
year.
Yeah.
Thank you for another year because I trust you in this year.
I trust your will.
I trust your ways.
I trust you.
And two of the things that kind of even spurred our conversation on this one today was I told
you how I read something and it says, it's never too late to start, but it's always too
late to wait.
Yeah.
And it's like, so we talk about resolutions, we talk about the journey.
And a lot of times people go because they'll say, well, if I start something like a diet
and it's like, stop saying diet, it's a lifestyle.
If you choose to have a healthy lifestyle, choose, choose the lifestyle, not depriving
yourself or completely stripping yourself away.
That's a completely different conversation.
But the other thing that came to the forefront was this.
And this is what, cause you and I always talk and say, we want to bring practical application
to people's lives because walking this world with Christ, with the principalities and the
powers in the air and the pushback of the enemy and all of this stuff that comes with
it, what can we do as people?
What can we do as men and women of God?
What is father, what is your word say?
Number one, his word says his mercy is new every day.
Okay, man, I blew it.
Sometimes that's what somebody needs.
They need a reset, right?
We talk about resets.
We talk about our, again, beautiful friend, Patty, right?
She's doing her thing.
But one of the things that she said is, Hey, mama's cause she's big into the mama's.
She ministers to the moms.
She said, reset, give yourself a time to reset.
And I'm like, okay, so instead of resolution, let your body have a reset.
Let your body say, Hey, I'm gonna, I'm not, I screwed up.
God, I screwed up.
And he's like, okay, but my mercy is new every morning, every day.
It's not to say that you get to go out and you get to party and you get to live like
hell and do your thing.
And then the next day say, I'm going to repent for everything that I did.
It's that preemptive of, Oh, I'm going to do it, but you know what, God will forgive
me.
Right.
That's when he says in his word that his grace no longer has power.
Yeah.
I don't know where it is.
We'll find it.
We'll put it on the website.
But basically it talks about where the grace that God has given us to walk this world and
screw up and fall down is no longer current at that point.
Because you decided, Oh, I'm going to use this as an opportunity and as a tool for me
to go and do whatever I want to when I want to, but that's okay.
God will still, dad will still forgive me.
Right.
No, you can't come with that kind of attitude.
So when I said, yes, his mercy is new every morning, but habits have to be broken and
disciplines have to be structured.
Yeah.
So one of the things that we come in contact with a lot with people walking this out, man,
I can't seem to be feeling God right now.
Man, I can't seem to be this, man.
I can't seem to get pushed past this.
I can't seem to do that.
And the whole time we want to look at them and say, what are you changing?
What are you doing?
It's true.
What, what, what have you chosen?
Because I'm going to go, I wrote, I actually wrote stuff down guys.
You did.
So you're going to hear pages.
Yeah.
And one of the things it says, instead of constantly finding things that are wrong,
which is a critical spirit, look at what is right.
And if you can't find something right and you're still in it, then you need to pray
and see where God will help you be part of the solution.
Yeah.
And a lot of times they're like, but I prayed and I'm a Christian and everything's supposed
to be great and all is well.
Right.
And I learned yesterday or yeah, yeah.
Yesterday during the sermon where it's talking about like, you know, the circumstances, God
changes circumstances, change all the stuff around me.
And the whole time God's going, how about you step into the authority that I've already
given you?
How about you walk in the Holy spirit?
How about you walk in the gifts of the spirit, the fruit of the spirit?
How about you walk in love?
How about you walk in the things that I have created inside of you?
Oh, but that's really hard.
Really?
Because like I literally laid my life down, died for you, came down to this earth, did
all this stuff for you, showed you how to do this.
And then you have the audacity to tell him it's too hard.
He literally gave you the same spirit and you're saying it's too hard.
No, it's because your flesh.
You don't want to kill your flesh.
So for 2023, if you want to start seeing changes in your marriage, if you want to start seeing
changes in your body, in the way that you eat, in the way that you think, in the way
that you respond, you've got to kill that flesh.
Yeah.
Because I mean, how many times, you know, if somebody has, you know, an issue or a disagreement
with their spouse, you know, they're like, you know, and they're like, well, pray about
it.
Oh, dear God, change her mind.
I'm going to back up from the mic.
You know, it is.
It's dear God, change her.
Dear God, you know, it's never give me wisdom.
It's I mean, once in a while it is, but it is, you know, how often is it give me wisdom?
You know, let me understand their way of, you know, help me to understand their way
of thinking, you know, not the whole man, why are they thinking this way?
But let me let me let me try to understand their point of view.
Let me understand where they're coming from.
Yeah.
You know, again, we talk so much about, you know, we talk a lot about communication and
that is our that is our main thing.
And it is it's, you know, whenever something goes on, you know, whether it be in the world,
whether it be in your marriage, whether it be at work, you know, talk, talk it out.
You know, it's you would think in the mid 40s we would be good at it.
We're learning.
So, you know, we're trying to encourage our kids to do it.
Yeah.
And granted, it's at times in our minds, it's easier for our kids.
It's like, you know, they, you know, our daughter has questions at school, at college.
It's like, we'll talk to your professors.
Good, but it's like, just ask a question.
They don't care.
That's what they're there for.
Yeah.
You know, and it is, you know, it is it's, you know, I know we're going to have a lot
of conversations coming up and a lot of conversations about, you know, communication.
I mean, we were asked at church to be part of a marriage group and it's, you know, we're
going to be talking about communication in February.
We're going to talk about sex.
Yeah.
Sex.
Yes, we're going to talk about sex.
It's not, you know, it's literally created by the creator.
It really is.
Genuinely, you know, and it is.
We focus on communication because communication isn't just for moving forward.
It's for moving past.
Say it again, babe.
You know, it's communication doesn't just help us move forward in our lives and in our
circumstances, whatever you, you know, wherever you're at in our marriages, relationships,
whatever it's, but it helps us move past the misunderstanding.
It helps us move past the hurt.
It helps us move past whatever's going on.
You know, it even helps us move past the celebrations.
Yes.
So you can go forward and build onto that because you don't want to sit there and say,
you know, because as much as when there's a hurt, when there's a struggle, when there's
a complication, you know, oh my gosh, our car got repot.
Okay, our car did not actually get repossessed.
I'm just using this as an example.
You know, oh my gosh, our car got repot.
You know, it's like, yes, you want to move past that.
You want to forget that as much as possible and move on and learn from it.
But also at the same time, it's like, oh my gosh, I just got a raise at work and I, you
know, got a 50% raise at work.
That's awesome.
It's like, you know, great.
Now you can pay for the car and you don't have to worry about it being, yeah.
But you also, you don't want to stay on that.
You want to move past and build on that.
You want to learn from that because if we're not, I know I've said it before, you know,
if we're not growing, if we're not moving, we're dying.
Yeah.
You know?
Because one of the things that you keep saying, I mean, I know you're good, but you're like,
you said there's even the celebrations moving past the celebrations.
Okay.
So one of the things in the word of God, I believe it's Paul or somebody, is it Paul
where he says, um, I, you know, even the things that are good, I count it all as not.
Everything that's bad, everything that's good, everything I count it all as not.
So in a relationship, cause immediately when you said it, I flipped to our wedding.
Number one, my, you have a picture, one of your favorite pictures of me and Gabriel from
our wedding are right over your shoulder.
If that was literally the very, very most special, that is the best day of my whole
life.
Yes.
Was when we got married.
Oh, what we've been doing for 10 years.
10 years.
You haven't had a good day.
What have we been doing for 10 years?
I probably just stepped on some toes.
It's possible.
Or the birth of your son was the, was the absolute best of your whole world.
Yep.
Really?
Cause like, like what have we been doing for the last like seven, almost, almost eight
years, almost eight years.
You know?
And so it's, it's not to say that these aren't wonderful things, but like, I want to reiterate
what you said because man, that's so good.
Literally it's building.
You're doing a building block.
We talk about foundation constantly.
Again, trying not so much plugging it, but seriously, listen to me.
Anybody that's local, anybody that please on Friday nights, we're starting to open it,
open up to the point where we have marrieds group at our church.
You want information, let us know.
We will absolutely send you information.
We'll put some links up on with our stuff, but it is a thing of, these are tools, whether
you're having a good marriage, whether you're having a bad marriage, the, you, I'm going
to say what you told me the other day.
Yeah.
Strategies and tools for improvement.
Yeah.
Your, your marriage doesn't have to be falling apart in order to come.
It doesn't have to be bleeding out.
This is strategies and tools to improve.
It's home improvement.
Yes.
Is your home.
Yes.
Your marriage is your home.
And where men get to grunt.
Too many jokes.
See all the little 13 year old boys and the 12 year old girls.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It is.
It's true.
And so it's like, if you let's circle back because if you want to see differences changes,
yes guys, it's the beginning of the year.
Yeah.
It's good to have a reset.
Sometimes we have to have that, but you don't have to wait for January 1st for the reset.
No, you don't have to wait for, I don't know what date, right?
To have a reset.
What you do is you stand back and you say, I'm going to take now because I don't want
to wait till later because later may never come.
Yeah.
We can't wait.
We can't start this on Monday and we can't start this tomorrow.
Right.
Why not?
Those are the two days that never come.
Shoot.
Shots fired, babe.
Yeah.
I have never heard.
Did you just make that up?
I've never heard that.
Sort of.
It's like I've heard.
Tomorrow never comes.
Bits of that, yeah.
I mean.
I've seen the joke about-
Let's start on Monday.
The diet.
I'll take diets or gym or I'll start improvements tomorrow.
That day is never going to come.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
But again, it is.
It's like, I'll start this on Monday.
It's like, really?
You're putting it off.
Yeah.
It's kind of like when we were joking with some of the stuff for the pandemic and it's
like, oh, starting on Friday.
It's like, really, you're going to wait a week?
I thought this was an emergency.
If this is really-
Outside of jokes.
Yeah.
If it's truly important, if it truly matters-
Come on, babe.
You are going to start now.
Come on.
If you want to improve, if you want help, if you want the reset, you're going to start
now.
Yeah.
Even if you're not prepared, you're going to start now.
Yeah.
Because you've realized that this is a step you want to take.
This is a step you need to take.
Yeah.
Through prayer, through listening to your spouse, in your relationship, in your family,
you realized, I need to get better now.
Yeah.
And all I heard in my head when you're saying that was, I literally heard I could hear different
voices.
Okay?
So whether it's... But you don't understand this is who I am.
Yeah.
But you don't understand this is what I've always done.
Yeah.
And I want to squash that voice.
Yeah.
Okay?
So if you are one of our listeners, listen to me.
I said it myself.
I've literally said these words myself.
I have too.
God, I don't want to come so close to you, God.
If you heal me in this place, who am I going to be?
Yeah.
I'm so familiar with the familiar, even if the familiar is killing me.
Yeah.
I'm familiar with it.
And all along, here's God with his hand open saying, but I've got literally life.
I want to give you life.
I want to give you freedom.
I want to give you joy.
Hey, guess what?
I want to give you joy.
Prosperity.
Prosperity, abundance, and not just your finances, but in every single area of your life.
When the trials and the tribulations come, because why, babe?
They're going to come.
You live in this world, it's going to happen.
But you don't have to respond like the world does.
You can respond with perfect peace that if your car gets reposed, God's going to give
you the wisdom.
If you have nothing going on and all of a sudden hell and high water break out and you're
just like, I don't know what's going on.
I have all these bills.
I have all this stuff.
And God can give you wisdom.
He can give you peace.
Death starts happening.
Sickness comes.
He can give you healing.
He can give you joy where there's a death that happens.
You know what I mean?
Life.
It's heavy.
It's hard.
It doesn't mean that we can't mourn.
It doesn't mean that we can't feel the pain.
It doesn't mean that we know me.
You even got me a towel.
I love Jesus, but I cuss a little.
It doesn't mean that when hard times come and you get angry that he is right there in
the midst of it saying, listen, you're allowed to get angry, but don't get, don't be sinful
about it.
Don't sit here and don't tear somebody down.
Don't get critical minded, Dina.
Come on.
You need to stop.
Stop with your thinking.
Stop with your stinking thinking because what this is doing is the enemy is trying to snuff
you out right now.
He's trying to divide you.
He's trying to pull you out and separate you from the rest.
So stop it.
So listen to me.
That's a word for somebody, maybe for you and me, but it's for somebody.
Stop it.
Stop with the critical crap.
Stop it.
Allow the Holy Spirit to come and move on you.
Let him direct you this year.
Starting now.
Now.
Stop.
I almost said it.
Am I allowed to cuss on here, babe?
If you have to ask, probably not.
Stop.
Stop griping and complaining and murmuring.
In the word of God, he will not do anything with you.
He will toss you back and forth.
You're tossed back and forth.
You have absolutely no faith if you're complaining and you're griping all the time.
That means that your faith is in the circumstance and not in the one that has the circumstance
in his hands.
If you're tuned back and forth, you're going to be lukewarm and you're going to be spit
out.
That's it.
Yeah.
So it's.
Holy Spirit come.
Yes.
Holy Spirit come.
Don't be double minded.
If God has told you to do something, if you feel that he's moved you in a direction, stay
the course.
Stay the course.
And guess what?
You're going to have an enemy that's going to come and battle against you because you
know why?
Do you know why?
Because now you are a weapon.
That's right.
You are a weapon in the hand of the one true holy God and you are making a difference and
the enemy doesn't want anything to do with that.
No, he doesn't.
So stand firm, follow the word, know what he says is true and he's not going to leave
you in the midst of this.
He's going to give you wisdom when you ask.
You have to ask though, guys.
You have to ask.
He's a good father, but this good father likes to be asked too.
Yeah, all fathers like to.
Yes.
Because it is.
It is.
It's such a perfect example because it is.
We need to, God loves to be asked.
God loves to be approached.
God loves to be recognized.
And that's how he designed us fathers.
To a degree, even moms.
Moms love to be wanted.
Moms love to be needed.
The constant, I know there's all sorts of jokes out there.
I know you saw a joke about it earlier about some young adult male calling his mom about
...
All I could hear was Gabriel.
And it's so funny because kids ask parents questions and it's like if they only knew
that we were making up the answers...
Half the time.
Seriously.
I'm like, I don't know.
It's coming.
We're throwing answers out of our butt.
We are.
That's... Sorry.
But it's true.
So, go into this year.
Go into this day.
You know what?
One day at a time.
And I'm going to repeat this last part, okay?
Yes, his mercy is new every morning, but the habits have to be broken and disciplines
have to be structured.
This is going to take effort.
Yes.
Anything good is going to take effort.
It's going to take discipline.
Walking this life.
But that's where the Holy Spirit comes.
He gives you strength.
Where you're weak, God becomes strong.
But you got to depend on him.
And then when he tells you to do something, hey, do it.
And know that he has nothing but good for you.
That's right.
All right, guys.
Have the best week.
Enjoy the journey.