Hello and welcome to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi.
Hey baby.
How's it going?
It's good.
How are you?
I'm good.
Happy Sunday.
It's been a good day.
It is.
It's almost spring.
It is.
Oh Jesus.
Tomorrow.
At least in the Northern Hemisphere it is almost spring.
It is almost spring.
Tomorrow gets to be the first day of spring.
At like 4.30 in the afternoon.
You're so funny because I keep saying it's going to be tomorrow and you're like, but
at 4.30.
You said that to me three times on the way home.
I did.
And I was like, no babe, I get it.
No, I heard you.
It's that part of my brain that it's like, it's that technical nickel knowledge.
It's like, ooh, but it's, because it just, it amazes me that they're like, oh no, it's
at this specific time when spring starts.
I'm like, really?
Are you really that level?
Yes.
Yes, you are.
It's like, what is it?
Our sweet boy is taking bass lessons and he corrected his teacher.
And what did he call him?
Pedantic.
Pedantic, which we looked it up and it's not a nice thing, but he didn't mean it in a mean
way.
It can be meant as an insult, but it describes somebody that focuses on the smallest of details
to make sure they're correct, which he gets that kind of from me.
So that's okay.
That's okay.
It's something I get to bring to Jesus.
Sometimes, but that's okay.
I'm getting better.
You are getting so better.
You're getting so better.
But periodically I just go, yep.
Like the literally again, this is where we need video.
I'm just, I like stare a hole in your head and just go, you're cute.
I am.
You're lucky you're cute.
And I can reach things on the top shelf.
Oh, because you did that.
We went to the grocery store after church today and you did that for that sweet little
lady.
Yeah.
And I was like, I'll let you borrow my husband and you got to be careful about who you say
that where you say that.
Listen, he's six, three.
I will let you borrow him to go grab something off a top shelf.
Yes.
That's about it.
That's it.
That's as far as it goes.
So we draw the line.
That's it.
We're not those people.
No, we really, that was like, we didn't need to go down that rabbit hole, but that's fine.
That's okay.
It's good.
What else has been happening this week, babe?
So you got a car.
I mean, you've had a car.
Yeah.
That's kind of weird.
And it's like, you want to say, you got a new car, but it's not a new car, but it's
new to you.
And it's fun.
It's a fun little-
Our son has given it a name already.
Yep.
Yeah.
Which is funny because I'm not a huge fan of giving cars names.
And I know when he said that, I went, oh, your dad is not going to be okay about this.
He calls it Zippy.
Zippy.
But from what my friends have told me, even our daughter, mom, oh my gosh, that looks
like you.
And one of our sweet, sweet, Tori and Dustin, our friends, we saw them Friday night.
They spoke at our Marrieds group, which went so beautifully.
The first thing she said is, if Dina was a car, this would be the car.
Yep.
Yep, pretty much.
It is a Mini Cooper.
Clubman.
A clubman.
So it's not the Mini of the Minis.
It's the crossover.
It's close.
And you fit, which is so beautiful.
In itself, I was like, oh, Jesus, if he doesn't fit, we're not getting it.
But I laugh though because it's like we've seen... I've sat... I've been in small
American cars.
Yes.
And I don't fit and I'm not comfortable.
No.
I get into small European cars and I fit.
And you fit like a glove.
Yeah.
It's so bizarre.
They're tiny on the outside, but big on the inside.
But they somehow configured it.
It's not like me.
That's like me.
Sort of, yeah.
I got a lot of love inside.
Yeah, you do have a lot of love inside of you.
It's fine.
Yes, yes.
But yeah, it's interesting how they configure the space of... But yeah.
Because we've seen videos of these huge... When you went to Poland, this huge grown man unfolding
himself coming out of this car and thinking, where...
Into like a Soviet era Fiat or something like that.
Something crazy tiny.
Tiny, tiny.
And he was fine.
It's literally you have your own little roll cage and that's it.
Yeah.
It's beautiful.
But it's a fun car.
It's a fun car and it's a classic.
Years ago when I was going to move to England, those were the kind of cars that...
That's what you were going to get?
I mean, not necessarily a Mini, but I was.
I was looking at all these little cars that it was basically just a roll cage on wheels.
But I mean, they're safe, they're sturdy, they're fuel efficient.
Back then I was a single guy looking to move to England.
I didn't need a grocery getter, I didn't need a minivan, an SUV.
And again, when I was in Poland, I mean, a small SUV is the biggest you see on the road.
You don't see large SUVs, you don't see third rows, you don't see the Suburbans, the Excursions.
Americans are pretty extreme.
You don't see pickups.
You saw delivery trucks, but even all their Uber Eats people in DoorDash, they were on
scooters.
I love that.
It was awesome.
See, I think that's neat.
One day.
Yeah, one day.
One day, Europe, we're coming for you.
Yes.
Because that is on our bucket list.
Yes, it is.
But I think the very, very favorite thing, and then we'll start talking about what we're
talking about is the reason why we did what we did as far as getting me a car, a new car,
a new to me car, is the fact that our beautiful brown eyed girl needs her own vehicle.
She nannies.
She doesn't have much of a paper trail, and we were like, you know what?
You really like my car.
You feel safe in my car.
We feel safe with you in my car.
And it's paid off.
So you get to pay mom and dad a small fee every month.
So she's going to do herself some car payments, which number one, moms and dads, people out
there, it's nothing what we're talking about today, but here is our extra nugget for the
day.
In our brains is this gets our child into a space where she starts getting used to paying
bills on a regular basis.
She gets to do this with mom and dad.
She gets to do this on a just a regular.
And then it gets to be something that belongs to her because it's like it's a win-win.
Ooh, I just had a fun idea pop in my head as far as this.
Tell me your thought.
Because again, it's with us.
It's her.
It's safe and all.
It's a financial greenhouse.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
I like that.
We should expand on that one day.
I think that's really good.
Like see, I want to dive into it now.
What is a financial greenhouse?
Just give us a, what does that mean?
So just really quick, it's like it's where she can learn.
It's where she can grow.
She's safe.
Yeah.
She's still kind of under our protection and under our advice and counsel.
Right.
But yet she can still kind of like grow and do her own thing, but still in that safe space,
safe from predators, safe from bad weather.
I love that.
I mean, not that bad weather would affect her.
I mean, it could affect her.
But again, if you think of a greenhouse being a safe place for plants to grow, this is,
yeah.
Well, they're still maturing.
Yeah.
Babe, that's so good.
That's an extra little nugget.
That's a good nugget.
Like seriously, you should write that down.
I should write that down and we should expand on that one day.
That's really good.
But she gets to buy her own insurance.
And so that's where she gets to kind of do something solo on her own, but it's going
to be, it's just good.
It's good.
So we said all that to say, I now get to have a brand new zippy car, which Sebastian is
super stoked about and even Gabri, cause she drove it today.
Today was the first time that we saw her in a week cause she's been out going goofing
and having spring break with her buddies.
And she did the moment we drove up to the house, she just goes, mom, it is just so cute.
So it was nice to get the green light approval from our beautiful brown eyed girl.
So, yes.
So that's kind of what's new in our world.
Yeah, that's our world.
Hopefully your world is just as exciting.
Yes.
And it's positive and full of the kingdom of God and the blessings overflowing prosperity
and favor to all of your families and all of your homes.
Amen.
And that you guys are learning how to grow your kiddos because that's, that is the vein
that we're in.
Cause you can ask my sweet hubby, I've been crying for however many days now, mostly today,
just God dealing with me and teaching me how to, it's been good stuff.
Yeah, but teaching us how to maneuver and to help, help our children grow.
Yeah.
Help each other grow.
Yes.
Which is kind of what we're going to be talking about.
That leads into today.
Yes.
And so today.
Yes, it is more Q and A.
Yes.
Cause we're going to be on this vein for a little bit.
Yeah.
I think we have maybe about.
Maybe one or two more after this.
Something like that.
Yeah.
And then, and then we'll get back to rambling about whatever we see fit.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this was from one of our listeners.
What do you do in a marriage when you disagree on how to walk out a calling and then they
continued with, or when you have the same goal and can't figure out the same route to
get there.
And then they followed up with another question, which ties into this one.
How do you combine your spiritual walks in a marriage or are they supposed to stay separate?
So let's start with the first one.
Yeah.
So what do you do in a marriage when you disagree on how to walk out a calling?
I mean that, that is, that is a huge question.
And especially, especially I'd say, especially when you're newlyweds, but this, this can
happen at any time.
I mean, we're knocking on the doors of, of 11 years of marriage.
And I mean, in a way, some of this podcasting stuff and, and you know, even some of the,
the, you know, getting involved with the marriage group at our church, it's in a way that's
almost like walking out some new things in our, our spiritual lives, you know, and in
our marriage.
And it is, it's, and, and we were talking about this beforehand and you know, a lot
of times, yes, you're, you're not going to have the same calling on your life that your
spouse does or, you know, or again, it might be the two of you have the same calling or
similar callings, but all of a sudden seasons change.
And all of a sudden it's like, you know, you're, you're not going to, you're, you're never
going to go your separate ways.
You know, as, as a married couple, as, as a partnership, as, as, as joined at the hips,
emotionally, spiritually, we, we are never going to, you know, go our separate ways.
Yes, there are going to be times that we do different things.
Yeah.
But as, as a married couple, we should always be supporting each other.
And you know, I, I kind of gave the, the, the, the example, you know, when we were kind
of talking about this and kind of prepping for the recording of, you know, let, let's
say, you know, let's say, Dina, you, you go and you have a really big heart to, you know,
pour out and minister to women, especially single moms.
Because I know that was you for a season and that's, that's your heart of how can I help
them and get them to, to grow and explode and, and be all that they can in the kingdom
of God.
Yeah.
And it's like that can't, I, I'll say that can't be me.
Yes it could, but, but for the most part that cannot be me.
That can't be my walk.
That can't be my calling because I have no idea what that's like.
Yeah.
But what I would do as a husband is I would support you in every way I can, you know,
knowing that I'm not going to be able to really say anything or, or really, you know, if you're
doing meetings, running meetings or anything like that.
But again, I'm, I'm here to support.
I'm here to encourage.
I'm here to, you know, are there other resources that I can help you provide or help set up
to, to ensure that you're as successful as you can be in this?
Yeah.
And so it's like that's your calling, you know, that's something that you're walking
out, but yet I'm in a way it's like, I'm still involved even though it's not me.
And you know, the, the same would be, you know, for me, if let's say I had, you know,
grasping at straws, let's say I decided that I want to, you know, spiritually administer
or spiritually minister to, you know, people with PTSD, you know, especially vets that
they have PTSD.
Yeah.
You know, again, that's, you know, yes, you can speak into their lives, but that's not
your, that might not be your calling, that might not be your interest, but you can give
me the space to do that.
You can help and support me.
You can give me the encouragement.
You could maybe, you know, if we're talking through things, you could maybe say, Hey,
have you thought about it from this angle?
You know, so it's like, we're always going to be a team.
We're always in this together, no matter what it is, no matter what it looks like.
And it's, there are, there are going to be times where we're going to be walking out
things differently, you know, even if it's, let's say we're, we're at a marriage group
and it's like, you're ministering to that table and I'm ministering to this table.
You know, it's, we don't always have to be ministering together.
We don't always have to be walking together in all that we do.
Right.
And in saying that, I will also say that there will be seasons where we need to, where we
need to walk together.
We need to be focused on the same project or the same ministry.
You know, and, and again, it's just, how do you, it is, it's that big question of how
do you walk that out?
And you, what you do is you talk it over, you know, what's, what's the most complicated
thing we could do?
We talk about it.
Yeah.
And, and at times that sounds so simple, but at times that's also really hard to sit there
and talk about it because I think I almost feel that like sometimes in a Christian marriage,
it's like, you almost feel guilty if you don't have the same calling as your husband or as
your spouse.
You know, I say you and your husband, cause I'm, I'm looking at you.
I'm not pointing you out.
You know, but again, I, I do, I almost feel like there's this, you know, well, we have
to be on the same page with everything.
Yeah.
You know, and it's, it's like, no, you don't, you don't, you don't have to be on the same
page.
You know, you don't have to agree on everything.
Yeah.
You know, that's, that's the beauty of, that's the, that's the beauty of, of marriage.
That's the beauty of relationships.
That's the beauty of God creating us in his image with free choice.
Yeah.
We're not going to agree.
We're not going to have the same calling, you know, cause again, it's where is your
identity?
You know, what is your identity in the kingdom, in God, and how do you walk that out?
Yeah.
You know, I mean, again, you could, you and your spouse could be, we could be involved
in completely different things.
Which at times we are.
But as long as we come together and we're that married couple and we're coming back
together, you know, again, even if it is, you know, we, hey, Monday we have like a couple
hours before we go to bed where we can, we can come together.
We can be a couple, we can be a family.
And you know, because of the way we're going right now and the stuff we're doing and then
involved in, that's what we've got.
Yeah.
You know, but we know it's a season.
Yeah.
So yeah.
I would also say, cause you, you keep talking about like having the callings and the different
things and kind of like, let me, what do you do when you disagree on how to walk out a
calling?
I think the first thing before anything is you always have to take it to God.
Oh yeah.
I mean, just, you know, and I'm not at all, but I think that that's the number one.
You'll always have to say, Holy spirit, is this something that you even want me in?
Is this a vein that I need to be, you need to be talking to your spouse, babe, this looks
like like today I was offered a position, right?
To help out in our ministry at church.
And I don't think I even asked you, are you okay with me doing that babe?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
So I mean, we kind of talked about it.
To be on a team.
You're going to be on a team.
I'm going to go be on a team.
So it's one of those things where, okay, talk, talk to God, talk to your spouse.
Like you said, keep coming back to each other, keep coming back to each other, having conversation.
The last two weeks at our marrieds group, we divided the men and the women and you're
in one room with the fellows and one room with the women.
We're both having conversation over the same topics, but it's going to be in different
ways.
Guys are going to communicate different than the girls are.
And it's one of those where each time after in the evening, we spent the next however
many hours just discussing what it was that we talked about, what we learned, maybe some
things that we got out of it, maybe some things that we tried to pour into people.
And I think if you make sure that your priority is always God first, your marriage second,
then everything else is going to start falling itself into place.
If you start seeing your calling and I'm making quotation marks with my fingers, your calling
ultimately is the kingdom of God.
Your calling is ultimately, that's it, right?
So there's certain things that you have to make sure that there's the priority.
If you feel like certain things are taking precedence over the majors, then you need
to just lovingly come sit down with each other.
Hey, this seems to be taking more time than what I'm thinking or what is it maybe that
I can do?
How can I help you?
Because there's times where you're over security, you'll come home and you're like, it's something's
heavy and babe, do you want to just talk it out?
Can we just talk it out?
I'm not on the security team, but kind of like what you're saying, is there any maybe
some advice that I can give you or maybe I can just be your sounding board?
You know, and it's doing those kind of things, but I think the follow up was, or when you
have the same goal and can't figure out the same route to get there.
I want to touch on that because I think we kind of have hit that first question.
Number one, talk to God, talk to your spouse, make sure that you're staying on the same
page.
Kind of like what you said, as far as walking it out, I think walking it out and having
the same route, okay, I want to hit this, I want to hit this part of it.
Here's the deal guys.
One of you is the husband, one of you is the wife.
You're going to think completely different on a lot of stuff.
You just are, because guess what?
You're designed that way.
This is the way that you're wired.
I'm wired in a different capacity that you are.
I think from a different angle than you do.
It's not just because I'm short or you're tall.
It's literally we see things from different perspectives.
Instead of saying, oh, you're doing this wrong because you don't look like me and it doesn't
sound like the way that I would do it.
See how arrogant, that sounds horrible, doesn't it?
That's genuinely what happens at times.
It's like, well, you're not thinking the way... Your favorite example is always you and
I are in a road trip.
We have several different ways we could go.
Ultimately, we have to figure out a way to get there together.
Here's the difference there.
We're in a vehicle.
We can't be driving two different cars and stay in the same vehicle.
That just is not physically possible.
When it comes to your calling, when it comes to... I want to say it correctly, the route
or you have the same goal.
I want to hit that part.
You're saying you have the same goal.
We have the same goal.
We have the same destination.
We want the kingdom of God to expand.
This is ultimately... What is your goal?
Is your goal to have a microphone and to be famous?
Is your goal to rescue people's lives and to make things better?
What is the goal?
What is your end result?
Is it ultimately that God be glorified and Jesus become on his throne?
What are we doing?
Because if you figure out what your goal is, you might come at it in different areas, but
the fact is that you need to give each other space in order to do that.
You need to say... You need to respect each other's strong strengths.
What is it that you have underneath?
The strength finder.
You need to respect each other's strengths and enough to give each other space and to
listen, to stop getting in such a space where you think the other person has to look like
you, sound like you, be like you.
You're married to an individual.
Are the two become one?
Yeah, but listen, what makes this marriage beautiful, what makes it something for people
to behold is that you literally have people that are walking in unity.
Unity doesn't mean... What am I trying to say?
It's not like... We're not all the same.
We're not all uniform and... Yeah.
But you're walking in unity, which means we're in step with each other.
We want nothing but the best for each other.
We're after the same goal.
We want to advance our marriage.
We want to advance our kingdom.
That's it.
I think if you start there, continue with these conversations, have that open dialogue,
I think you'll already start getting into that space.
I think I said this last week.
I could be wrong.
I think I said it last week on last week's episode, or we just had the conversation ourselves.
But instead of looking for compromise, look for negotiation.
I think you said that last week.
I loved that.
Yeah.
So again, it's not thinking of Dina's way versus Luke's way, but try to find what is
the Holy Spirit?
What way does the Holy Spirit want you to go?
And then try to, how can you work together towards that?
And then I also thought, as far as trying to figure this out, and I know this might
sound simple and it might sound basic, but there's a lot of stuff in marriage and in
the kingdom that when you boil it down, it really is simple and basic, even though it's
hard to do it.
But I had an idea, and for some people, this is going to work for some people.
So take a piece of paper and flip it sideways so it's a long triangle, not a tall triangle.
And on one side, write, this is where we are.
And on the other side, write, this is where we want to be.
This is our goal.
And then in the middle, write, here's a way to do it.
Here's a way to do it.
And write those out in the middle of just different ways of getting from point A to
point B.
And I think for some people, seeing that visual of here's a possible solution, here's a possible
solution, here's a possible solution, and actually write those down, A, you actually
can visualize what are the possible solutions.
That's good.
I know some people are better able to get their ideas on paper in writing versus out
of their mouths.
I know it sounds weird because here we are in a podcast, but I'm actually one of those
people.
When I text, when I send emails, I'm able to put my thoughts out better that way versus
talking.
But again, like I said, for some people, this is going to work and this is going to be a
really great strategy of even if it has to look like a five-year-old drawing a map of
the United States, write, here's where we are on one side, here's where we want to be
on the other, and just list possible solutions.
Then if you have to do stick figures and draw some kind of a fake map, do it.
And then find out the things that you agree on.
Maybe even like, oh, this seems like a really great solution.
Okay, well, maybe let's go with that.
Just the common ground.
What I heard from you, if I understand correctly, what I just heard from you is if you find
a common ground, then you're going to... a common ground for your common goal... common
goal, am I saying?
Why did that sound weird?
I don't know.
That's fine.
The common ground for your common goal, then you're going to start naturally start finding
the direction and the trajectory of where you can go.
And also, if you put your ideas on paper and kind of a side note, something else that might
help, sticky notes on a wall.
Ooh, I like those.
Yeah.
But that way, when you write it out on paper or do sticky notes on the wall, and you as
a married couple, you sit there and talk about it and you talk these things through, you'll
actually get to the point where you'll realize, okay, this one, this sticky note here, this
is really what's important for me on this journey.
I like that.
Versus this other sticky note, I thought this was big deal, but it's really not, and I can
throw it away.
Love that.
I love that.
No, I love that.
See?
Because too many times we have too much noise in our head.
Yes, agreed.
Too much noise.
And the noise comes either from these expectations, false expectations.
I had to repent to our daughter today about that.
I apologize for my false expectations of you.
That's one of the reasons why I'm crying today, guys.
It's good.
We need to release each other from the false... Let me just say that for everybody, because
I felt that one.
False expectations will kill your marriage.
They will kill your relationships.
They will kill your friendships.
They will kill anything that's around you.
It'll kill yourself.
You will walk... Because I got dealt with today on the prayer floor, and one of the
things was the Holy Spirit just basically dealing with me, and it wasn't just the false
expectations because he said, you need to start speaking to her the way that you talk
to Luke.
You need to treat her the same way.
I'm like, okay, what does that look like?
It was.
You're walking with this false expectation.
When we put false expectations, when we think that our marriage has to look a certain way,
when a ministry, even the way that we worship... Well, babe, you don't worship the way that
I do.
Well, something must be wrong.
Nope, nope, because that actually... That kind of takes us to the next question because
I want to keep moving on this.
How do you combine your spiritual walks in a marriage, or are they supposed to stay separate?
I'm going to say, no, they are not supposed to stay separate, but you do have to have
your own individual walk.
You cannot go off your person's salvation.
You can't go off your person's worship.
You've got to have a solid relationship period with you and God, and you are God alone.
You have to have that moment.
You have to have that time.
You have to take the false expectations off of yourself, and that's something else that
he was dealing with me about.
You are expecting so much from everybody else, and what it's doing is it's putting a false
expectation in you, to where I'm expecting even stuff from myself that God's like, I
did not require that of you.
That is not what I said.
All of my tears today have been freeing tears.
Trust me on this one.
When we release people and we genuinely open our hands up to God and say, I trust you,
like God, I like literally I've got to trust you, I know that their walk is not going to
look like mine, that the way that they respond is not going to be the way that I respond,
that this is literally your creation.
This is your guy or your girl, and I need to let them grow in whatever capacity you
want them to grow in and trust you and trust you on that walk.
When I'm supposed to say something, I say something, otherwise God shut my mouth.
Dear God, let me stop talking because otherwise I'm going to destroy this person.
I would say you want to come together spiritually, worshiping together, praying together, reading
the word together.
Man, babe, what did you get out of that sermon today?
Oh my goodness, what did you see?
Or even in the moments of the callings, the ministries, the times that you do get to minister
together, can I tell you, oh my gosh, let me tell you what God did.
Let me show, oh my goodness, did you see?
These are beautiful moments when you get to experience them together.
They're so, so good.
It is okay though to have those moments where you're going and you're doing these things
by yourself though.
Like you said, you don't have to be constantly joined to the hip.
If that's where God's got you, by all means, that's where you stay there.
Our God parents are prime examples of people that literally they minister together.
They're 24 seven together and it's beautiful to watch.
I do not say it lightly.
That is phenomenal when people are able to do that and it's beautiful.
It's also one of those things where that's not the only way to go about it though.
Because it is, it's like, but God's got me over here and God's got you over there, but
you got to come back.
I think that's the whole point.
You got to come back.
It's almost like that figure eight interweaving of take that time to reconnect together, talk
together, recharge in the spirit of God together, and then allow him to do whatever he wants
to do.
It's almost kind of what I was saying earlier of, yes, this is you walking out your calling,
but I'm helping and supporting and I'm right there with you even though I'm not actually
doing it.
Right.
And again, it's with all of this and you're absolutely right.
It's going to look different because again, we're different people.
Not only is it man versus woman, but my personality is different.
Your personality is different.
My identity in Christ is different than your identity in Christ.
I love that you said that we can't be each other's savior.
We can't be the salvation of the other.
I know that's something that you had to get dealt with from God early in our relationship
before we got married because I was so new to being a Christian and didn't know anything
about all of this.
To this day, I'm still like, I have no idea what I'm doing, but all of a sudden they're
like, hey Luke, talk.
Really?
You're asking me?
Do you know what I just heard?
What?
In my head.
What?
Because anybody that knows our story, I know I've told this story before, but whenever
I was laid out on the floor and I'm just having a conversation with God and he's dealing harshly
with me.
It's always fun when he does that.
Like a good solid dad harsh.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh yeah.
He's like, if you try to change him, you will destroy him.
We know that part of the story.
What I just heard, I am squishy today, babe.
What I just heard was if you were to try to change him, you were going to show him religion
and I wanted to show him a relationship.
Shoot, babe.
Shoot.
And I think that that's what we want to say to you guys today.
It's like, just pour yourself into that relationship with God.
Get into that space with God.
Trust God enough to, he loves your spouse.
He loves your children.
He loves your friends.
He loves your coworkers and anybody else that you're having to interact with.
He loves them more than you do.
He loves them more than you could ever love them.
And when he says, let me have the boy, let me have the girl, you've got to trust me.
But God, if I let them go, they're going to fall.
Yeah.
But I'm not going to let them.
Yeah, they're going to fall, but they're going to fall into him.
They're going to fall into him.
Let them.
I'm like done.
I'm done today.
He's dealing with me hard today and I'm so glad.
But just, we've got to love the people that are in our lives enough to let God do what
he wants to do.
Because I did.
I all of a sudden, again, it's with God dealing with us or interacting with us, depending
on regardless of how we walk out our spiritual life.
For all the parents, I'm sure you will be able to relate to this, but no kid is the
same as your other kid.
No.
And you're always going to be the parent.
You're always going to be the loving, supportive parent.
It's like God is the loving, supportive parent, God, master, king that he is.
And no matter what we do and how we act, again, some of us he's going to have to have a little
heavier hand.
Yeah.
Others, he's going to need a sterner, softer voice.
But it is.
And it is.
I feel like I keep trying to go back to the question, but it's like my brain doesn't want
to.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why.
I think because I'm having just, I think part of my brain is just sort of having a hard
time trying to figure out exactly what the question is.
It's like at first I was like, yes, this is a great question.
And then it's like, I guess part of me is like, again, we talked about walking out a
calling, walking out like a spiritual calling and stuff like that.
It's like, I guess part of my question now, I mean, I know we've been in this for half
hour.
No, keep going.
But what would somebody, if I'm talking about a spiritual, like walking out a spiritual
calling, how is that different or compared to a spiritual walk?
Again, does it go back to how do we go to church?
How do we worship?
How do we pray?
Because in my mind, all of a sudden it is, it's not just walking out your spiritual calling
like, hey, I feel like I need to minister to this group or I feel like I need to pour
myself into this area.
But now it's all of a sudden I'm wondering, is it the, hey, I feel like when I pray, I
need a dark room with two separate candles on different levels and I need it to be dead
silent and just me in the corner with an old school paper Bible versus, well, when I pray,
I can have notes scattered all over, worship music blaring, I've got my Bible on my tablet
and it's just me and God and we're just we're just messy and dirty and whatever.
I got torn sweats on and an old t-shirt and I'm just ugly crying for God because that's
what I do versus the, I need to sit in my special chair and I need to look proper and
reverent because I'm approaching the king and I need to come with that quiet reverence.
Wow, I saw both of those pictures.
Beautiful.
I know, right?
Good job.
Thanks.
Beautifully.
So again, I guess that is, that's part of, all of a sudden in my mind, I'm like, what
does it mean when somebody says, mentions their spiritual walk?
I think you nailed it.
I think I genuinely think you nailed it exactly how you said it.
And I do, I believe it's a thing of where just literally what we just said, that you
need to make sure you have that alone time with God, but you also need to make sure that
you're, if you, this is your spouse.
This is the person that you have vowed your life to and vowed your life with.
I do believe that you need to get into a space where you do have that time where you prayed
together, you speak the word of God over each other.
You get into worship with each other, whatever that looks like, kind of like just going to
church together.
Or like you said, just blare that music and just worship a lot.
You know what I mean?
Let me say this because this is what hit me.
Speak your expectations out.
Yes.
Okay.
Speak your expectations out.
Find out what it is that your spouse is.
How do they worship?
What does their walk with God look like?
How does that?
And then again, like we talked about with the calling, find those common grounds.
Babe, can I come with you?
Babe, this is kind of just me and God time.
I got to work this out right now by myself.
Okay, cool.
But once you're done with him, can you come and work some stuff out and talk some stuff
out with me?
Yeah.
You know, and I think your expectations, again, those expectations, talk out what it is that
you're desiring.
What is it that you're desiring from your spouse?
Is it something that they can do right now?
Is it something that they should be doing?
Or is it something that they need to grow into and build into?
It's okay.
If we've said this before, I believe we're like you guys are almost on different levels.
I do believe that there's a different level, but as we keep going back to, we keep coming
back to it and keep coming back to it and we're going to keep coming back to it.
That you guys are coming at it, maybe not necessarily different levels.
You're coming at it from different angles and you need to know the difference.
So that way, again, if you're not doing iron sharpens iron, if you're not doing a space
where you're allowing your spouse to grow and you are encouraging them and helping skyrocket
them into the presence of God, then maybe back up a bit and figure out what you need
to do.
Your face did something there.
It did.
Because all of a sudden, because you're talking about instead of thinking about it coming
at different levels, coming at different angles, I had two images thrown into my brain.
A, I remember your friend talking about the different levels of the kingdom almost like
a ladder.
Instead of that ladder going up and down, just grab it and turn it on its side.
But then I also thought of God is three dimensional.
God is more than three dimensional.
So when you're coming at something, especially with God, there is no up.
Oh man.
Man.
My head just went tilt.
Yeah.
I mean, think about it.
You're dealing with something that the God of the universe knows about.
And he has created you as a spiritual being.
So imagine yourself in space.
And let's say you're on one side of, I'll even say the solar system.
And you need to get to the other side of the solar system or you need to get to where planet
earth is.
Are you going up?
Are you going left?
Right?
Does it matter?
It just matters that you're hitting your mark.
Go in the direction of the mark.
Yes.
We're just full of all sorts of stuff today.
Wow.
Okay.
It was a good day at church.
I will just say that.
It was a really good day at church.
And apparently this is what happens after a good day at church.
We need to do this on Sundays all the time.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's so good.
I think as long as just keep moving.
Just keep moving.
Keep trying.
Yeah.
Keep trying.
I mean, I said that to the guys a week and a half ago when I was talking to them.
I was like, the fact that you're here, the fact that you're asking questions, you're
trying.
Yeah.
Never stop trying.
Never stop trying for your spouse.
Never stop trying for the kingdom.
Because I know I've said it before, but it's like whenever you have those questions of,
man, am I enough, man, have I gone too far, that shows that you care.
That is proof right there that you have not gone too far away.
That you are not too far lost.
It is not too late.
So do keep trying.
Keep trying.
Keep pushing.
Keep asking.
Keep talking.
Don't stop.
Yeah.
Because about the time that you think you've mastered it, then there's going to be a new
season.
Yeah.
And then God's going to go, okay, I want to take you to a different space.
Yeah.
I want to use you into a different capacity.
You said it.
I'll just repeat it.
Just don't stop talking.
Don't stop talking to God.
Don't stop talking to each other.
Even if it sounds muddy, if it sounds incoherent, if you are laying on the floor and all of
a sudden you get up and half your makeup is gone because by golly, whatever it looks like,
whatever it sounds like, as long as you're calling out and crying out and moving towards
Him, then just like that triangle that you keep talking about, it's like you're at one
space, I'm on the other corner, God is in the middle, as long as we're both going towards
Him, it's going to bring us together.
100%.
And you guys will get there.
Yes, you will.
So good, babe.
That was good.
Shoot.
Okay, guys, we're going to go blow our noses and wipe our eyes and have an amazing Sunday.
Yes.
And you guys are going to have the best week.
Yes.
All right, guys, have the best week ever.
Enjoy the journey.