WEBVTT 00:00:07.790 --> 00:00:10.410 Hello and welcome back to another episode of 00:00:10.410 --> 00:00:14.250 Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na. Hey 00:00:14.250 --> 00:00:18.510 babe. Hey babe. You're busy playing on your phone. 00:00:18.629 --> 00:00:22.570 I'm not playing, I'm looking up scripture. And 00:00:22.570 --> 00:00:24.710 the next thing you start talking and I'm like, 00:00:24.750 --> 00:00:27.609 I was not. You even asked me, babe, are you ready? 00:00:27.730 --> 00:00:31.370 I'm ready. And now I'm like looking and I, oh, 00:00:31.489 --> 00:00:36.890 see, it's the video. It's coming. Yeah. We are 00:00:36.890 --> 00:00:39.450 even closer now to video than what we were before. 00:00:39.609 --> 00:00:44.049 Yes. Because, babe, what did you put in Amazon 00:00:44.049 --> 00:00:49.310 cart and I bought? We got computer components 00:00:49.310 --> 00:00:53.770 and lights. So, yeah. So we've got two cameras. 00:00:54.670 --> 00:00:57.530 We got the cables. We've got the computer set 00:00:57.530 --> 00:01:00.450 up. We got the cameras. I already said cameras. 00:01:01.210 --> 00:01:03.450 You got another camera, though. Got another camera 00:01:03.450 --> 00:01:05.909 for Sebastian. Yeah, got another camera for Sebastian. 00:01:06.230 --> 00:01:08.390 Because you guys have a project that you're going 00:01:08.390 --> 00:01:09.069 to be working on. Because that's going to be 00:01:09.069 --> 00:01:11.469 an interesting little project, yeah. I'm very 00:01:11.469 --> 00:01:14.510 excited. Thank you for turning this down all 00:01:14.510 --> 00:01:17.530 of a sudden. Yeah, earlier we were talking, and 00:01:17.530 --> 00:01:19.209 it's like, wow, that's really awesome. Yeah, 00:01:19.290 --> 00:01:21.209 let's hear each other. And I'm like, that's really 00:01:21.209 --> 00:01:23.010 loud. It's really loud. I feel like I'm yelling 00:01:23.010 --> 00:01:24.890 at you. Why are you screaming at me right now? 00:01:26.540 --> 00:01:28.659 But you and Sebastian are going to be doing a 00:01:28.659 --> 00:01:32.239 project soon. Yes. Because one of our amazing 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:37.140 friends gave him an amazing idea. And he wants 00:01:37.140 --> 00:01:41.620 to run with it. And so, okay, let's run with 00:01:41.620 --> 00:01:43.659 it. Let's see what happens. We're going to see 00:01:43.659 --> 00:01:46.500 what happens. I'm stoked. Yeah. I'm personally 00:01:46.500 --> 00:01:48.420 stoked. We're just kind of watching all of these 00:01:48.420 --> 00:01:50.680 things just kind of, okay, God, what's up to 00:01:50.680 --> 00:01:54.480 you? Like, congratulations, you have a new car. 00:01:54.739 --> 00:02:00.319 Yes. Congratulations. We have business cards 00:02:00.319 --> 00:02:04.620 coming. Yeah. I don't know why I say congratulations, 00:02:04.840 --> 00:02:08.199 but I think it's just in my mind, I'm like, we've 00:02:08.199 --> 00:02:11.919 had a lot of y 'all and friends and family, different 00:02:11.919 --> 00:02:16.360 ones that have been kind of. uh, keeping up with 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:18.319 us, finding out what we're doing. We've got some 00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:20.639 friends that are like, come move this way, come 00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:23.180 move this way, be closer to us. Other friends 00:02:23.180 --> 00:02:25.900 are like, no, you will never move. You will always 00:02:25.900 --> 00:02:30.360 be here. It's like, I almost, I almost want to 00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:33.340 say we have friends that are passively cheering 00:02:33.340 --> 00:02:37.280 us on. And the reason I say that is because they're, 00:02:37.280 --> 00:02:39.060 they're, they're encouraging, they're cheering 00:02:39.060 --> 00:02:43.080 us on, but they're not like, because we're not 00:02:43.080 --> 00:02:46.219 a hundred percent there. at the starting line 00:02:46.219 --> 00:02:50.860 i mean we are but like i don't know it feels 00:02:50.860 --> 00:02:54.340 like the excitement's there the anticipation's 00:02:54.340 --> 00:02:57.979 there the the encouragement is there but it's 00:02:57.979 --> 00:03:04.060 not like full -throated like it's not like you 00:03:04.060 --> 00:03:06.180 know it's like all the excitement of like getting 00:03:06.180 --> 00:03:08.860 ready for the race and then all of a sudden it's 00:03:08.860 --> 00:03:10.780 like the starting gun hasn't gone off so it's 00:03:10.780 --> 00:03:14.870 like So it's like all that preparatory encouragement, 00:03:15.009 --> 00:03:18.110 if you will. Yeah. No, I hear what you're saying. 00:03:18.370 --> 00:03:21.409 I think it's how you look at it. Ooh. I think 00:03:21.409 --> 00:03:24.050 it's all in the perspective. Because in my brain, 00:03:24.169 --> 00:03:30.860 that gun went off a long time ago. Yeah. Way 00:03:30.860 --> 00:03:33.120 back here, like, hey, I want you to start this 00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:35.960 podcast. Now I want you to go get your certifications 00:03:35.960 --> 00:03:38.979 for relationship coaching. Hey, I want you to 00:03:38.979 --> 00:03:42.000 go and I want you to speak and I want you to 00:03:42.000 --> 00:03:47.460 be part of this event. And then it's like, hey, 00:03:47.500 --> 00:03:51.400 I want you to even sit in front of couples and, 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:57.280 you know, give advice. You apparently have. pulled 00:03:57.280 --> 00:03:59.819 back the curtain now to your new co -workers 00:03:59.819 --> 00:04:02.180 because you have moved positions yeah change 00:04:02.180 --> 00:04:05.539 teams same position change teams yeah and so 00:04:05.539 --> 00:04:08.479 you have pulled the curtain back and let them 00:04:08.479 --> 00:04:11.240 know what we do and now yeah now they're like 00:04:11.240 --> 00:04:13.479 soliciting me for advice everybody wants to know 00:04:13.479 --> 00:04:16.680 like to the point where yeah to the point where 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:18.920 one one co -worker was like you need to fix my 00:04:18.920 --> 00:04:22.829 husband i'm like no No, I know. I'm like, I know 00:04:22.829 --> 00:04:25.269 your husband. He's a cool guy. Yeah. No, that's 00:04:25.269 --> 00:04:28.350 not how this works. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Which 00:04:28.350 --> 00:04:31.250 is, which was funny. Cause when you were working 00:04:31.250 --> 00:04:34.689 with him, he's like, fix it. Yeah. Fix it. I 00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:37.149 mean, he didn't so much fix it. It was more of 00:04:37.149 --> 00:04:39.589 just, why? Yeah. Why is this? Why is this? Why 00:04:39.589 --> 00:04:41.269 does this happen? And then you would get me involved. 00:04:41.370 --> 00:04:45.050 Well, I say you get me involved. I would. I would 00:04:45.050 --> 00:04:47.589 share how my day went and some of the conversations. 00:04:47.769 --> 00:04:52.269 And he was gracious enough to hear what I had 00:04:52.269 --> 00:04:54.389 to say and go, I don't think I even thought about 00:04:54.389 --> 00:05:01.850 it like that. So it's encouraging to know that 00:05:01.850 --> 00:05:08.490 there has been enough groundwork done. Again, 00:05:08.790 --> 00:05:13.980 the... The gun that has gone off and you're like, 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:15.660 you know, cause we're not like running hard. 00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:19.959 I literally feel like the tortoise and the hare 00:05:19.959 --> 00:05:24.579 and we are the tortoise and we are just, we are 00:05:24.579 --> 00:05:30.379 steadily intentionally moving forward and taking 00:05:30.379 --> 00:05:36.180 ground by doing the little things to build the 00:05:36.180 --> 00:05:40.279 foundation, to do this stuff. We're being obedient. 00:05:40.500 --> 00:05:42.639 We're just being obedient and doing what it is 00:05:42.639 --> 00:05:45.319 that we feel that God is telling us to do each 00:05:45.319 --> 00:05:48.139 step of the way. And each step of the way, he 00:05:48.139 --> 00:05:49.939 meets us. And each step of the way, it feels 00:05:49.939 --> 00:05:52.800 like just a little bit more. He goes, okay, nope, 00:05:53.259 --> 00:05:55.660 nope. Do you trust me? I know this may not make 00:05:55.660 --> 00:05:58.259 sense or nope. do you trust me? I know you don't 00:05:58.259 --> 00:06:00.279 see the big picture, but Oh, do you trust me? 00:06:00.300 --> 00:06:02.980 And it's like, no, I do trust you. I do trust 00:06:02.980 --> 00:06:05.660 you. And it's like, sometimes you and I will 00:06:05.660 --> 00:06:07.800 sit there and look at each other and we won't 00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:09.560 say a word. And then there's other days where 00:06:09.560 --> 00:06:11.379 we look at each other and we'll say the quiet 00:06:11.379 --> 00:06:15.680 parts out loud. And then there's other days where 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:18.759 it's like, I have absolutely no idea. No idea. 00:06:19.120 --> 00:06:22.420 None. When are you guys doing bubble? No idea. 00:06:22.500 --> 00:06:24.899 No, that is not something he has told us today. 00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:28.379 Yeah. Well, well, are you seeking him out? Okay. 00:06:28.480 --> 00:06:29.879 I want to punch you in the throat now because 00:06:29.879 --> 00:06:33.060 like, yeah, totally seeking him out. But yeah, 00:06:33.139 --> 00:06:37.339 it's, it's, um, it's, it's, I like it. I like 00:06:37.339 --> 00:06:40.500 the journey he has us on. Yeah. It's, it's building 00:06:40.500 --> 00:06:43.420 the momentum. It's like being in the gym where 00:06:43.420 --> 00:06:46.819 you do kind of this, the warmups, you do the, 00:06:46.879 --> 00:06:52.699 you know, the, the PT, the stuff before it's 00:06:52.699 --> 00:06:58.089 like you start running. yeah and it's even like 00:06:58.089 --> 00:06:59.990 when you say that like it's like it's in the 00:06:59.990 --> 00:07:03.350 gym even when you when you are at the gym and 00:07:03.350 --> 00:07:05.170 and even if you're faithful you know it's like 00:07:05.170 --> 00:07:08.569 you've been it it feels like you're not going 00:07:08.569 --> 00:07:10.490 anywhere because you keep lifting the same weight 00:07:10.490 --> 00:07:15.050 but yet you're secretly getting stronger not 00:07:15.050 --> 00:07:18.750 secretly but quietly yeah getting stronger yeah 00:07:18.750 --> 00:07:21.329 you know and and it's like you don't realize 00:07:21.329 --> 00:07:26.740 that you are and all of a sudden oh maybe I am 00:07:26.740 --> 00:07:29.620 yeah I mean something comes in front of you either 00:07:29.620 --> 00:07:32.579 it's an opposition or an opportunity and then 00:07:32.579 --> 00:07:36.019 you go from second guessing like do I even have 00:07:36.019 --> 00:07:39.899 anything to whoa I don't think I realize that 00:07:39.899 --> 00:07:41.720 this whole time I've been building my stamina 00:07:41.720 --> 00:07:45.720 and this is yeah here we go yeah yeah I love 00:07:45.720 --> 00:07:47.910 that Okay. Well, that was just kind of a weird 00:07:47.910 --> 00:07:51.069 randomness of stuff. Not really. But here it 00:07:51.069 --> 00:07:52.910 is. I was going to say it wasn't really random. 00:07:53.009 --> 00:07:57.649 It was like, here's where we're at. Yeah. Yeah. 00:07:57.850 --> 00:07:59.970 It's good. Yeah. So what are we talking about 00:07:59.970 --> 00:08:03.009 today? So I'm going to call today no changing. 00:08:03.790 --> 00:08:07.230 No changing. Right. Okay. So. What does that 00:08:07.230 --> 00:08:11.870 mean? Because it almost. It's kind of tongue 00:08:11.870 --> 00:08:14.490 -in -cheek for me because I know a lot of our 00:08:14.490 --> 00:08:21.189 talk. We talk a lot how change is good, how change 00:08:21.189 --> 00:08:25.389 is inevitable. Growth is good. Being uncomfortable 00:08:25.389 --> 00:08:29.129 in those seasons, that is good because you want 00:08:29.129 --> 00:08:33.809 growth. Again, it can be uncomfortable to lift 00:08:33.809 --> 00:08:38.250 heavy weights. It can hurt. You know, and it's 00:08:38.250 --> 00:08:40.649 there's that growth. There's that change. There's 00:08:40.649 --> 00:08:44.610 that, you know, that that process. So change 00:08:44.610 --> 00:08:47.389 is good. Change is a welcome thing. Right. But 00:08:47.389 --> 00:08:50.750 I wanted to call it no changing. Kind of kind 00:08:50.750 --> 00:08:52.970 of like I said, kind of tongue in cheek. But 00:08:52.970 --> 00:08:57.549 I wanted to say, no, you can't change your spouse. 00:08:57.970 --> 00:09:01.129 Right. Because that's kind of what I wanted to. 00:09:02.169 --> 00:09:04.669 I mean, not just me. I mean, we've been talking 00:09:04.669 --> 00:09:06.350 about this a little bit off and on for the past 00:09:06.350 --> 00:09:12.309 week or so. Right. And so it is. That's what 00:09:12.309 --> 00:09:15.169 I wanted to call it because I think that's the 00:09:15.169 --> 00:09:20.809 best thing to remind people is you can't change 00:09:20.809 --> 00:09:23.370 your spouse. Who your spouse is when you meet 00:09:23.370 --> 00:09:26.029 them, that's who they are. That's who they're 00:09:26.029 --> 00:09:28.990 going to be. You can't change them. Only they 00:09:28.990 --> 00:09:31.570 can decide to change themselves, and truly only 00:09:31.570 --> 00:09:34.629 God can change them. Right, right. So it's that 00:09:34.629 --> 00:09:44.029 little fun reminder. Yeah. So I know that there 00:09:44.029 --> 00:09:45.990 was a couple of scenarios that came to the surface 00:09:45.990 --> 00:09:49.029 that made us even have this conversation. Yeah. 00:09:49.070 --> 00:09:54.929 And one of them was hearing a couple basically 00:09:54.929 --> 00:10:01.919 fight. over a scenario. And with the scenario, 00:10:02.120 --> 00:10:06.179 this is something that the wife got very upset 00:10:06.179 --> 00:10:08.759 with the husband. And we're standing back and 00:10:08.759 --> 00:10:11.620 we're watching this and hearing this and going, 00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:14.799 wait a minute, this is something that you've 00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:18.500 known about this person for the whole duration. 00:10:18.500 --> 00:10:21.259 Yeah, and we could say this about so many couples 00:10:21.259 --> 00:10:25.659 that we don't know because this is a... It is 00:10:25.659 --> 00:10:29.659 more common than not. Right. And I know that 00:10:29.659 --> 00:10:32.980 I literally even put something on Facebook, two 00:10:32.980 --> 00:10:35.159 different things, actually. And it was talking 00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:40.519 about the argumentative wife and that there's 00:10:40.519 --> 00:10:43.399 no man that wants to be with an argumentative 00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:45.720 wife. And I know that we in the past have heard 00:10:45.720 --> 00:10:49.960 it said and have said it ourselves that no man 00:10:49.960 --> 00:10:53.100 wants to sleep with his mother. Because if you 00:10:53.100 --> 00:10:55.200 are somebody that is constantly bickering and 00:10:55.200 --> 00:10:59.120 griping and harping on your husband, you're basically 00:10:59.120 --> 00:11:03.019 becoming his mom as opposed to his counterpart, 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:05.620 somebody that he can come alongside with and 00:11:05.620 --> 00:11:10.960 grow something with. And so too many times we 00:11:10.960 --> 00:11:15.840 have seen where the very thing that this person 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:20.600 is trying to change is the very thing that you 00:11:20.600 --> 00:11:24.039 fell in love with. Because I know time and time 00:11:24.039 --> 00:11:28.200 again, like even in our own story, me stepping 00:11:28.200 --> 00:11:32.639 back and having to pray and ask God to give me 00:11:32.639 --> 00:11:34.879 wisdom because there were certain things, qualities, 00:11:35.220 --> 00:11:44.379 personality traits that you have. And I remember 00:11:44.379 --> 00:11:47.720 literally Holy Spirit like really pressing on 00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:52.539 me and basically saying, if you try to change 00:11:52.539 --> 00:11:55.860 him, you will destroy him. And I think too many 00:11:55.860 --> 00:11:58.419 times, and this goes both ways. It's not just 00:11:58.419 --> 00:12:01.200 a husband to a wife or a wife to a husband. This 00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:07.500 goes both ways. A lot of times, what happens, 00:12:07.539 --> 00:12:11.000 the thing that changes when you become man and 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.779 wife is now you are with this person on a greater 00:12:14.779 --> 00:12:19.159 basis than you were before. If you were not like... 00:12:19.340 --> 00:12:21.399 together before if you weren't living together 00:12:21.399 --> 00:12:25.100 before but even then i believe that something 00:12:25.100 --> 00:12:27.700 shifts in the atmosphere something shifts in 00:12:27.700 --> 00:12:30.080 the spirit realm to where it's like when you 00:12:30.080 --> 00:12:34.000 go from boyfriend girlfriend even engaged to 00:12:34.000 --> 00:12:38.139 husband and wife like all of a sudden the certain 00:12:38.139 --> 00:12:44.360 little nuances and the the quirks of who your 00:12:44.360 --> 00:12:47.740 person is the things that you found enduring 00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:51.759 almost become a little bit more amplified and 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:54.200 can potentially grade if you're not careful. 00:12:54.419 --> 00:12:57.700 Yeah. And I think also part of it is that whole, 00:12:57.820 --> 00:13:00.980 as much as we talk about, you know, don't read, 00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:04.620 you know, nobody's a mind reader, you know, how 00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:09.779 much of their, or how much is it out there that 00:13:09.779 --> 00:13:13.799 people are like, well, now that we're married, 00:13:13.820 --> 00:13:17.769 they should know. Well, now that we're married, 00:13:17.889 --> 00:13:19.730 they should stop that. Right. Now that we're 00:13:19.730 --> 00:13:22.009 married, they should now start doing that because 00:13:22.009 --> 00:13:23.090 we're married. They should know that this absolutely 00:13:23.090 --> 00:13:25.429 irritates me. No, that's not how this works. 00:13:25.429 --> 00:13:28.870 That's not how this works. If they didn't do 00:13:28.870 --> 00:13:33.070 this beforehand, if you knew that they never 00:13:33.070 --> 00:13:35.789 separated their laundry, their dirty clothes 00:13:35.789 --> 00:13:38.309 before tossing them in the washer, just because 00:13:38.309 --> 00:13:40.389 you're magically married now doesn't mean that, 00:13:40.429 --> 00:13:42.110 oh, they're now going to sort their clothes. 00:13:42.330 --> 00:13:47.850 No, no, that's not how that works. Are you secretly 00:13:47.850 --> 00:13:49.549 trying to tell me something? Nope, not at all. 00:13:49.710 --> 00:13:52.450 I am not secretly saying anything because I will 00:13:52.450 --> 00:13:55.570 tell you that doesn't bother me because I'm the 00:13:55.570 --> 00:13:57.610 kind of person that I'm like, look, they're all 00:13:57.610 --> 00:13:59.909 dirty. Throw them in the cold. They're all the 00:13:59.909 --> 00:14:03.110 same. They all get washed the same. Unless it's 00:14:03.110 --> 00:14:04.610 something that it's like, oh, this has to be 00:14:04.610 --> 00:14:06.889 washed separate or this has to be washed special. 00:14:06.970 --> 00:14:11.490 It needs bleach or something. like with my bjj 00:14:11.490 --> 00:14:14.230 my gi it's like okay that has to go in the gentle 00:14:14.230 --> 00:14:17.129 and it hangs dry by itself right so it's like 00:14:17.129 --> 00:14:18.809 okay we're obviously not throwing that in with 00:14:18.809 --> 00:14:22.110 my underwear and socks okay cool but i don't 00:14:22.110 --> 00:14:26.049 i don't i don't care all i came thinking is good 00:14:26.049 --> 00:14:28.110 to know yeah i did not know this that's good 00:14:28.110 --> 00:14:32.610 yeah um but again that's kind of why i i take 00:14:32.610 --> 00:14:35.700 care of it i toss it in but um You know, but 00:14:35.700 --> 00:14:38.740 again, it's those things that, you know, how 00:14:38.740 --> 00:14:41.120 many spouses are out there and they're like, 00:14:41.200 --> 00:14:44.440 they'll quote unquote put up with something, 00:14:44.600 --> 00:14:49.240 behavior, attitude, personality, and just they 00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:51.580 have it set in their mind that, well, as soon 00:14:51.580 --> 00:14:53.940 as we get married, this will stop. Right. This 00:14:53.940 --> 00:14:55.879 will change as soon as we're married. Or I can 00:14:55.879 --> 00:14:58.059 change them. Yeah, that too. If I'm hanging out 00:14:58.059 --> 00:15:00.759 with me and if I nag them enough or if I gripe 00:15:00.759 --> 00:15:03.679 enough or if I, you know, if I show them the 00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:07.080 way. If I show them the way enough, then they 00:15:07.080 --> 00:15:11.120 will be better at this. And it's like, I think, 00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:17.840 can some of that happen? Yeah. Is it better to, 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.039 number one, have a conversation? Yeah. Hey, babe, 00:15:22.299 --> 00:15:26.179 guess what? This kind of grates my gears a bit 00:15:26.179 --> 00:15:29.580 when you do X, Y, Z. Yeah. And it's like, oh. 00:15:30.220 --> 00:15:32.039 I'm sorry, I didn't realize that that even bothered 00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:34.120 you. That didn't seem to bother you before. Well, 00:15:34.220 --> 00:15:38.120 again, A, we weren't living together. We weren't 00:15:38.120 --> 00:15:40.360 married, doing all of the things. So I didn't 00:15:40.360 --> 00:15:43.059 know how you squeezed your toothpaste. Or I didn't 00:15:43.059 --> 00:15:48.700 know that, oh, you don't close the lid on the 00:15:48.700 --> 00:15:52.639 toilet bowl. And could you do this for me? Because 00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.039 this just helps. And I am speaking out of my 00:15:56.039 --> 00:15:58.639 space because that is. was my thing. That was 00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:00.399 the conversation we had. Yeah. I was like, would 00:16:00.399 --> 00:16:03.419 you mind closing the toilet seat and the bowl 00:16:03.419 --> 00:16:06.379 or the lid for me? And it's like, okay. And I 00:16:06.379 --> 00:16:09.000 said, you know what? It just looks nicer and 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:11.240 it doesn't have all the weird germs and the things. 00:16:11.299 --> 00:16:13.639 Yeah. No problem. Yeah. And it's like, cause 00:16:13.639 --> 00:16:15.940 ultimately I didn't care. You didn't care. And 00:16:15.940 --> 00:16:18.279 it was like, and I think too many times it's 00:16:18.279 --> 00:16:20.559 like nine out of 10 times your person probably 00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:23.379 is not going to care. Yes. You know? And if it's 00:16:23.379 --> 00:16:27.009 something that is very. It's just ingrained in 00:16:27.009 --> 00:16:29.110 them. Number one, it's going to take a second 00:16:29.110 --> 00:16:33.570 to break a habit. Or number two, this may be 00:16:33.570 --> 00:16:36.230 something that they just go, this is just honestly 00:16:36.230 --> 00:16:39.450 who I am and it shouldn't be that big of a deal. 00:16:39.909 --> 00:16:43.789 It's like I would almost say start with not even 00:16:43.789 --> 00:16:47.529 so much the things that get on your nerves or 00:16:47.529 --> 00:16:49.730 bother you, whatever. Even just if it's something 00:16:49.730 --> 00:16:53.110 like asking in a polite and respectful way of, 00:16:53.149 --> 00:16:57.720 why do you do that? You know, without being weird. 00:16:57.820 --> 00:17:00.620 Hey, can you explain why do you fold your shirts 00:17:00.620 --> 00:17:02.419 like this? Maybe that was our first conversation. 00:17:02.419 --> 00:17:06.500 It was several of our first conversations. Why 00:17:06.500 --> 00:17:11.380 do you do that? What possessed you? You know, 00:17:11.420 --> 00:17:15.299 but it is. I think, A, you need to sometimes 00:17:15.299 --> 00:17:17.900 have the conversation of why do you do this or 00:17:17.900 --> 00:17:23.380 why is this? But also, for some of these things, 00:17:24.299 --> 00:17:27.279 hey is this important to you that's good you 00:17:27.279 --> 00:17:30.319 know like the toilet lid yeah it's like oh this 00:17:30.319 --> 00:17:33.480 you care about this yeah i don't yeah i could 00:17:33.480 --> 00:17:35.680 do this yes yeah you know it's like it's not 00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.859 a thing in my world right you know i mean you've 00:17:38.859 --> 00:17:41.420 you've been to my parents house it is it is not 00:17:41.420 --> 00:17:45.220 a thing that i grew up with no no but i love 00:17:45.220 --> 00:17:48.460 how funny side note since you said that yeah 00:17:48.460 --> 00:17:52.059 i love that Since that is a thing in our world, 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:55.099 it has bled over and it's become a thing in your 00:17:55.099 --> 00:17:59.140 parents' world. Is it? Yeah, because I will walk 00:17:59.140 --> 00:18:03.799 in and that toilet, all the lids are... I was 00:18:03.799 --> 00:18:08.099 just there yesterday cleaning. Everybody's toilet, 00:18:08.339 --> 00:18:11.740 except the downstairs downstairs one, all the 00:18:11.740 --> 00:18:15.539 toilets were closed. Nice. And they bought soft 00:18:15.539 --> 00:18:20.599 closing toilet seats. Because that's what it 00:18:20.599 --> 00:18:23.319 is in our world. And they were tired of hearing 00:18:23.319 --> 00:18:26.839 their grandson slam the toilet seats. Because 00:18:26.839 --> 00:18:29.920 that's what we do. And our children do that. 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:33.220 You close the toilet seat. That's just what you 00:18:33.220 --> 00:18:38.359 do. But it is. But it does. I think that's a 00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:42.059 big part of it. Is this important to you? Again, 00:18:42.980 --> 00:18:46.160 another one of our favorite examples is my shirts, 00:18:46.259 --> 00:18:50.099 my t -shirts. It's like, it's enough important 00:18:50.099 --> 00:18:53.859 to me. Will the world end if it doesn't happen? 00:18:54.019 --> 00:18:56.579 No, not at all. It is not that life or death 00:18:56.579 --> 00:19:00.579 changing important to me. Right. But it's a preference. 00:19:00.819 --> 00:19:03.940 Yeah. And it's like, yeah, I have no problem 00:19:03.940 --> 00:19:10.799 doing this. Yeah. And it's enough of an importance 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:16.519 to you to where you want to do it. If it doesn't 00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:19.660 get done the way that you like it to be done, 00:19:19.799 --> 00:19:22.779 you'll just redo it and get it done yourself. 00:19:23.380 --> 00:19:27.660 And that's not you trying to be slighted with 00:19:27.660 --> 00:19:29.940 me, not trying to be rude. It's just like, this 00:19:29.940 --> 00:19:32.880 is important to me, baby. See, I'm having a struggle. 00:19:33.259 --> 00:19:37.140 I mean, we've talked about this before. My hands 00:19:37.140 --> 00:19:42.240 don't do that. I literally, my mind is backwards 00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:47.579 on this. I can't do that. um another thing that 00:19:47.579 --> 00:19:50.660 I know that like even conversations that our 00:19:50.660 --> 00:19:54.480 daughter has had in in past and even for future 00:19:54.480 --> 00:19:58.509 spouse like Well, Mom, there's some things that 00:19:58.509 --> 00:20:01.309 I don't want to have to explain, like why she 00:20:01.309 --> 00:20:04.450 will have a certain pillowcase because of the 00:20:04.450 --> 00:20:06.230 texture of her hair, things like that. Well, 00:20:06.269 --> 00:20:08.430 I'd rather not have that conversation. I'd rather 00:20:08.430 --> 00:20:10.529 have somebody know. And in my mind, I'm thinking, 00:20:10.650 --> 00:20:13.269 sweetheart, even if somebody has the same textured 00:20:13.269 --> 00:20:16.730 hair as you or comes from the same similar background 00:20:16.730 --> 00:20:21.089 as you, it's not a guarantee that somebody's 00:20:21.089 --> 00:20:23.650 going to know. Military background, it's not 00:20:23.650 --> 00:20:25.740 a guarantee that somebody's going to. to know 00:20:25.740 --> 00:20:30.279 you know it it's it's having you keep saying 00:20:30.279 --> 00:20:33.660 it why why is this important to you yeah why 00:20:33.660 --> 00:20:36.900 why do you deem this something that that seems 00:20:36.900 --> 00:20:39.400 to bother you if it doesn't get done a certain 00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.480 way yeah why is this and it's like if we if we 00:20:43.480 --> 00:20:47.880 just take the time to understand a regardless 00:20:47.880 --> 00:20:50.240 of somebody's background their culture their 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:54.059 history even female their gender whatever the 00:20:54.059 --> 00:20:57.180 fact is that this is you know well that should 00:20:57.180 --> 00:20:59.579 be important to you no it's not i'm a person 00:20:59.579 --> 00:21:02.660 i'm an individual you know i'm not i'm not just 00:21:02.660 --> 00:21:06.440 this one thing yeah and i think when we come 00:21:06.440 --> 00:21:11.460 into that space and give people people license 00:21:11.460 --> 00:21:17.259 and permission to to ask questions to be able 00:21:17.259 --> 00:21:20.440 to say oh, I didn't know that, or, well, that 00:21:20.440 --> 00:21:22.940 might be important to you, but not to me, you 00:21:22.940 --> 00:21:25.819 know, to give them permission to be who they're 00:21:25.819 --> 00:21:30.140 created to be or who they are, then I think that's 00:21:30.140 --> 00:21:32.299 when you get to come into the world of compromise 00:21:32.299 --> 00:21:36.220 and learning. Like, babe, why do you do this? 00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:38.859 Oh, well, I do this because this is how I was 00:21:38.859 --> 00:21:41.819 taught in the military. Okay, well, I have enough 00:21:41.819 --> 00:21:45.180 military people in my family to know that that's 00:21:45.180 --> 00:21:51.210 not always the case. I do not believe that my 00:21:51.210 --> 00:21:56.049 brother does stuff like that. My brother, according 00:21:56.049 --> 00:21:57.849 to my sister -in -law, and I'm not throwing you 00:21:57.849 --> 00:22:00.569 under the bus, Bobby, I'm really not, but it's 00:22:00.569 --> 00:22:02.589 like, according to my sister -in -law, my brother 00:22:02.589 --> 00:22:04.769 doesn't even do laundry, so it's like any part 00:22:04.769 --> 00:22:08.089 of it, and that's their dance, and that's cool 00:22:08.089 --> 00:22:13.529 with them, but in my mind, I'm like, it's a preference. 00:22:14.220 --> 00:22:19.359 It's a personal preference. Because I think also 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:24.039 I want to kind of come back to like some things 00:22:24.039 --> 00:22:27.319 that I know I started to steer away from it. 00:22:27.420 --> 00:22:31.420 But it's like I almost want to go back to, you 00:22:31.420 --> 00:22:33.799 know, behaviors, personalities, stuff like that. 00:22:33.880 --> 00:22:36.759 And it's like, you know, if this isn't something 00:22:36.759 --> 00:22:40.640 that you think you'll get along with. Come on. 00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:43.559 if this is something that it's like it really, 00:22:43.660 --> 00:22:46.759 you know, and this is why, you know, when we've 00:22:46.759 --> 00:22:50.759 had conversations with, with young people that 00:22:50.759 --> 00:22:53.380 have come into our, our sphere of influence and 00:22:53.380 --> 00:22:56.539 they're like, you know, and we talk about, you 00:22:56.539 --> 00:23:00.480 know, go ahead and, and work out your, your list 00:23:00.480 --> 00:23:03.039 of like expectations, your list of standards, 00:23:03.140 --> 00:23:06.660 you know, don't list. My perfect spouse will 00:23:06.660 --> 00:23:09.559 look like this and talk like this and do this 00:23:09.559 --> 00:23:11.259 for a job and earn this much money. It's like, 00:23:11.299 --> 00:23:14.140 no, no. Set the expectations of how you want 00:23:14.140 --> 00:23:16.000 them to act, how you want them to treat you, 00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:20.180 their character, stuff like that. Because at 00:23:20.180 --> 00:23:24.140 the end of the day, that's the stuff that really 00:23:24.140 --> 00:23:25.859 matters. That's the stuff that's going to get 00:23:25.859 --> 00:23:28.140 you through the day -to -day. And if they don't 00:23:28.140 --> 00:23:32.500 have those things when you're courting, when 00:23:32.500 --> 00:23:36.119 you're dating. When you're engaged. It's like. 00:23:37.259 --> 00:23:39.720 Are you sure you want to be with this person. 00:23:39.819 --> 00:23:43.140 If they don't have. If they're not up to your 00:23:43.140 --> 00:23:46.279 standards. Or they're not. They don't have the 00:23:46.279 --> 00:23:48.079 kind of character. That you want them to have. 00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:51.559 Are you sure you want to spend your life. With 00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:53.900 this person. Thinking well I can change them. 00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:57.980 Or I'm sure they'll change. Once we get married. 00:23:58.180 --> 00:24:00.759 It's like they won't. Or even if I just give 00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.380 them enough time. Right. In some case scenarios, 00:24:04.660 --> 00:24:07.980 I would say, yes, there's time. Okay. When you 00:24:07.980 --> 00:24:10.319 and I got married, I had my own little cleaning 00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:12.099 business and I was working at a news station. 00:24:12.460 --> 00:24:15.240 You were a full -time college student. Yes. You 00:24:15.240 --> 00:24:19.160 did bring something to the party. You weren't 00:24:19.160 --> 00:24:21.619 just a deadbeat person at all. You weren't. You 00:24:21.619 --> 00:24:24.500 were working towards something. Yeah. Right. 00:24:24.599 --> 00:24:30.180 But to have that understanding of even the conversations 00:24:30.180 --> 00:24:32.829 of, hey, babe. Where do you see yourself in the 00:24:32.829 --> 00:24:36.170 next five years? Yeah. What's your goal? What 00:24:36.170 --> 00:24:41.170 is it that you desire right now? Not like you 00:24:41.170 --> 00:24:42.890 have to have your whole life planned out, but 00:24:42.890 --> 00:24:45.450 what is it ultimately? What direction do you 00:24:45.450 --> 00:24:47.589 want to go in? Yeah. Where are you trying to 00:24:47.589 --> 00:24:51.150 go eventually? Or where would you like to land? 00:24:51.789 --> 00:24:56.690 And I think when you have character and you walk 00:24:56.690 --> 00:25:01.559 in integrity and you're consistent. Yeah. in 00:25:01.559 --> 00:25:05.039 certain spaces, potentially in, in like the, 00:25:05.099 --> 00:25:07.539 the spaces that really matter. Like, you know, 00:25:07.559 --> 00:25:09.660 you are somebody that you're, you're a person 00:25:09.660 --> 00:25:12.019 of your word. What you say, you do, you do, you 00:25:12.019 --> 00:25:16.079 say, okay. Um, you, you did not have a job, but 00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:20.680 you came and you worked with me and we, we got 00:25:20.680 --> 00:25:22.480 things taken care of and we built a business. 00:25:22.559 --> 00:25:25.339 You helped build that business with me too. Right. 00:25:25.420 --> 00:25:28.880 And do the things. And it's like to see the potential. 00:25:30.190 --> 00:25:32.250 I know that we've said don't marry the potential 00:25:32.250 --> 00:25:35.970 of the person, but when you see what this person 00:25:35.970 --> 00:25:39.170 is capable, there we go, what they're capable 00:25:39.170 --> 00:25:42.710 of doing based off of what they've already done, 00:25:42.930 --> 00:25:45.849 not what you think that they're capable, what 00:25:45.849 --> 00:25:48.470 their potential is to do. I think maybe there's 00:25:48.470 --> 00:25:51.009 a difference there. Well, I think also it's, 00:25:51.009 --> 00:25:53.670 in my mind, what it sounds like you're trying 00:25:53.670 --> 00:25:57.769 to say is it's almost like you recognize the 00:25:57.769 --> 00:26:01.089 character. Yeah. And it wasn't the potential 00:26:01.089 --> 00:26:04.170 of, oh my gosh, if I marry him, one day he'll 00:26:04.170 --> 00:26:06.609 make six figures or one day he'll have this kind 00:26:06.609 --> 00:26:08.569 of job or we'll have this kind of house. But 00:26:08.569 --> 00:26:11.509 it was, you saw the character, you saw the work 00:26:11.509 --> 00:26:16.430 ethic, you saw the willingness to get dirty and 00:26:16.430 --> 00:26:20.329 do the work. So it's like, okay, if he does this 00:26:20.329 --> 00:26:23.450 now, when we're not pulling in a whole ton of 00:26:23.450 --> 00:26:28.460 money, this is the kind of character. That's 00:26:28.460 --> 00:26:31.700 going to get us through those lean times. The 00:26:31.700 --> 00:26:35.839 hard times. The hard times. Yeah. For sicker, 00:26:35.839 --> 00:26:39.420 for poorer. Yep. The cold nights. We've been 00:26:39.420 --> 00:26:43.059 through all of them. All of them. You know. Yeah. 00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:46.680 So I think that's kind of what you were getting 00:26:46.680 --> 00:26:49.180 at. Yeah. Like I said, that's what I heard. Yeah. 00:26:49.180 --> 00:26:52.079 Because if you're somebody that feels like you 00:26:52.079 --> 00:26:56.859 have to harp on this person in order to get things 00:26:56.859 --> 00:27:00.970 done. Yes. Um, and in it, there's a difference 00:27:00.970 --> 00:27:04.490 between a babe. Would you mind helping me around 00:27:04.490 --> 00:27:09.069 the house a little bit? Yeah, sure. Or they see 00:27:09.069 --> 00:27:12.309 that I'm my favorite scenario, right? At the 00:27:12.309 --> 00:27:14.569 very beginning, like I'm vacuuming around you, 00:27:14.609 --> 00:27:16.990 I'm cleaning around you and you're just, you're 00:27:16.990 --> 00:27:18.769 sitting, you're, I think you were watching TV 00:27:18.769 --> 00:27:20.529 or playing a game or something and you're just, 00:27:20.549 --> 00:27:23.509 you weren't doing anything. You're just, you 00:27:23.509 --> 00:27:27.170 weren't doing anything. And I was like, just. 00:27:28.139 --> 00:27:31.000 increasingly getting more and more angry as opposed 00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:33.779 to just, could you help me? Would you, would 00:27:33.779 --> 00:27:36.079 you mind helping me? Yeah. What would you, what 00:27:36.079 --> 00:27:41.859 do you need? Not realizing, you know, like there's 00:27:41.859 --> 00:27:45.240 a difference between realizing and understanding 00:27:45.240 --> 00:27:50.119 because it's like, I feel like I'm throwing you 00:27:50.119 --> 00:27:52.420 under the bus. That's fine. That's fine. No, 00:27:52.500 --> 00:27:54.359 no, no. But it's just a good, it's a good example 00:27:54.359 --> 00:27:56.579 because it's like, I had a cleaning business. 00:27:57.339 --> 00:28:00.819 You did not come from a family that, that. That 00:28:00.819 --> 00:28:02.720 wasn't a high priority. That is not a high. I 00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:04.220 think that's a good way of saying that. Yeah. 00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:07.220 Because they're not filthy. No. Like nobody in 00:28:07.220 --> 00:28:09.700 your house is filthy. Yeah. It's just, it's, 00:28:09.700 --> 00:28:15.019 oh, okay. Like. And, and I'll, I'll say I grew 00:28:15.019 --> 00:28:19.319 up on the weekends, like one day of the weekend. 00:28:20.980 --> 00:28:23.160 That's when my mom would clean the house. Yeah. 00:28:23.299 --> 00:28:26.769 It was just my mom. So it wasn't taught. Right. 00:28:27.069 --> 00:28:31.970 Yes, my sister and I were told to make sure our 00:28:31.970 --> 00:28:33.910 rooms were picked up so they weren't a total 00:28:33.910 --> 00:28:37.950 pigsty. Hey, at least make sure I have a path 00:28:37.950 --> 00:28:40.230 from the door to your bed. Okay, cool. There 00:28:40.230 --> 00:28:43.289 will be a path. I was the same kid. I get it. 00:28:43.569 --> 00:28:48.129 But it was my mom that cleaned the house. It 00:28:48.129 --> 00:28:50.089 wasn't, hey, we're all going to get together 00:28:50.089 --> 00:28:53.029 and clean the house. My mom would put on her 00:28:53.029 --> 00:28:56.789 ABBA or her carpenter's record and she would 00:28:56.789 --> 00:28:59.910 clean the house. She would water the plants and 00:28:59.910 --> 00:29:02.730 that's what she did. That would be either Saturday 00:29:02.730 --> 00:29:08.049 afternoon or Sunday afternoon. That was it. Here 00:29:08.049 --> 00:29:12.490 I am, an adult now, and that's not where my brain 00:29:12.490 --> 00:29:14.509 goes. My brain doesn't go, oh, it's Saturday, 00:29:14.650 --> 00:29:17.759 it's time to clean the house. It was never taught. 00:29:17.960 --> 00:29:21.240 Right. And so I think that that's the whole point, 00:29:21.319 --> 00:29:23.059 right? Like we stand back and we want to look 00:29:23.059 --> 00:29:27.619 at some of our listeners and say, find out these 00:29:27.619 --> 00:29:31.319 answers to these questions. You know, like, is 00:29:31.319 --> 00:29:35.480 this who, hey, just out of randomness, when you 00:29:35.480 --> 00:29:37.960 guys cleaned the house when you were growing 00:29:37.960 --> 00:29:40.980 up, what do you mean we? My mom is the one that 00:29:40.980 --> 00:29:43.599 did it. Right. Oh, see, that should tell you 00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:46.180 everything, right? Like those things. Our house 00:29:46.180 --> 00:29:49.039 was, I cleaned the house when I was a kid growing 00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:51.039 up. I was the one that cleaned it, and my mom 00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:53.119 and my dad would be the ones that would be outside 00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:57.319 doing the lawn. Okay, yeah. And so it's like 00:29:57.319 --> 00:30:02.099 after I finally got broken of having an atrocious 00:30:02.099 --> 00:30:05.900 room and everything. So funny. My room was always 00:30:05.900 --> 00:30:08.400 trashed, but the rest of the house, everything 00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:12.920 had its space and place. But it's one of those 00:30:12.920 --> 00:30:17.539 things where... have these conversations. And 00:30:17.539 --> 00:30:20.240 if that is not something that is high priority 00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:27.299 for your spouse, don't expect it to become a 00:30:27.299 --> 00:30:31.519 high priority. If it's something that you see 00:30:31.519 --> 00:30:35.240 like, okay, you know what? This isn't your forte. 00:30:35.460 --> 00:30:37.900 This is not something that you're good at. You 00:30:37.900 --> 00:30:41.880 don't seem to have an anointing for doing this 00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:46.029 particular project. Yeah. But you know what? 00:30:46.069 --> 00:30:48.609 If, if you could just come and you could be in 00:30:48.609 --> 00:30:52.349 this space with me or if you could just help 00:30:52.349 --> 00:30:55.289 me in. Okay. So you don't want to clean the house. 00:30:55.390 --> 00:30:58.109 Could you at least put your socks in the laundry 00:30:58.109 --> 00:31:02.549 basket? Could you, could you at least do you 00:31:02.549 --> 00:31:05.529 like to do the lawn? Sweet. Can you go do mow 00:31:05.529 --> 00:31:09.339 the lawn for me? Kind of, you know, just. And 00:31:09.339 --> 00:31:11.359 I know that we keep hitting the same things because 00:31:11.359 --> 00:31:14.319 in my mind I'm struggling to even find out what 00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:16.839 other things would be. But it is that simple. 00:31:17.180 --> 00:31:21.819 It is. And before you go too far down the train 00:31:21.819 --> 00:31:30.980 and then loops. Sorry. I think part of it, though, 00:31:31.059 --> 00:31:34.480 is, you know, again, that recognizing of, well, 00:31:34.500 --> 00:31:37.849 that's not how I am. And so I had a conversation 00:31:37.849 --> 00:31:41.829 with a couple of people and it was the, oh, my, 00:31:42.069 --> 00:31:46.230 you know, my spouse, you know, I've tried to 00:31:46.230 --> 00:31:50.369 do the, I've asked them to do this. And it becomes 00:31:50.369 --> 00:31:53.829 the, well, I asked them, I vocally asked them. 00:31:54.349 --> 00:31:57.089 And then I, a few days later, I text them a reminder 00:31:57.089 --> 00:31:59.730 or I write them a note and then I text them a 00:31:59.730 --> 00:32:01.630 reminder. And if, you know, a week and a half, 00:32:01.650 --> 00:32:03.369 two weeks later, if it's still not done, then 00:32:03.369 --> 00:32:07.250 I just do it. And it's like, I think that needs 00:32:07.250 --> 00:32:10.509 to be a conversation. Yes. Because something's 00:32:10.509 --> 00:32:14.369 not clicking in one or both of you. Because what 00:32:14.369 --> 00:32:18.829 was that one couple? Phenomenal. You know which 00:32:18.829 --> 00:32:22.750 ones I'm talking about. And she said, when you 00:32:22.750 --> 00:32:26.009 ask your spouse to do something, you need to 00:32:26.009 --> 00:32:29.390 follow up with, could you get this done for me 00:32:29.390 --> 00:32:34.000 within such and such amount of time? And I think 00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:37.279 also, yes, you know, not necessarily give like, 00:32:37.380 --> 00:32:39.980 you know, here's the schedule. But again, you 00:32:39.980 --> 00:32:42.519 know, hey. This is kind of pressing on my brain. 00:32:42.559 --> 00:32:44.799 Could you? Could you get this done by the weekend 00:32:44.799 --> 00:32:46.980 because we've got something coming up? Yes. You 00:32:46.980 --> 00:32:49.319 know, hey, we're planning a 50th birthday party. 00:32:49.460 --> 00:32:52.059 Hey. Can we make sure that this gets done beforehand? 00:32:52.339 --> 00:32:55.400 Right. Sure. Let's do this. Right. But I think 00:32:55.400 --> 00:32:58.680 also because I thought of another couple that 00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:05.019 we had a conversation with. And it was the, what 00:33:05.019 --> 00:33:09.980 are you doing or what are they doing when you 00:33:09.980 --> 00:33:12.539 ask them to do something or ask them for help? 00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:15.759 That's good. Because if you're just in the same 00:33:15.759 --> 00:33:19.779 room together and you say, hey, can you get this 00:33:19.779 --> 00:33:22.519 done for me? Right. You know, hey, babe, can 00:33:22.519 --> 00:33:26.660 you do this? Yeah. You know, if I don't, I'm 00:33:26.660 --> 00:33:29.539 notorious because I do not have the best ears. 00:33:30.700 --> 00:33:34.339 So we have had several conversations. And you 00:33:34.339 --> 00:33:36.440 have a soft -spoken wife. I have a very soft 00:33:36.440 --> 00:33:39.079 -spoken wife. I grew up in a loud household. 00:33:39.299 --> 00:33:42.099 I played a lot of loud music, and I worked around 00:33:42.099 --> 00:33:44.839 a lot of loud jets. And that's why Jesus is Lord. 00:33:44.900 --> 00:33:48.200 That's why Jesus is Lord. Amen. Shout out from 00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:52.779 the rooftops. But there are times if you don't... 00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:55.319 Like if you don't get my attention first and 00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:59.160 like, yeah, it's like, get my face, look me in 00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:02.640 the eyes and okay, now we start the conversation. 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:05.980 Yeah. You know, because it, how many times it's 00:34:05.980 --> 00:34:08.579 like, you know, I had a conversation with somebody 00:34:08.579 --> 00:34:12.340 and he, you know, he was like, my, my wife thinks 00:34:12.340 --> 00:34:15.639 that I'm ignoring her because I didn't listen 00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:18.920 when she said this and she said it, we were in 00:34:18.920 --> 00:34:21.840 the same room together, but she did. She didn't 00:34:21.840 --> 00:34:25.400 say it directly to me. Right. So I didn't realize 00:34:25.400 --> 00:34:27.699 she was talking to me. And now. Because there 00:34:27.699 --> 00:34:29.300 was another person. Right. Because there was 00:34:29.300 --> 00:34:32.099 another person in the room. And so he's like, 00:34:32.280 --> 00:34:34.800 now I'm the bad guy because I apparently don't 00:34:34.800 --> 00:34:36.760 remember that she said this. Right. And it's 00:34:36.760 --> 00:34:39.900 like, yeah. I was like, unless you just have 00:34:39.900 --> 00:34:42.039 the conversation of, hey, grab my attention. 00:34:42.320 --> 00:34:48.380 Yeah. Yeah. Say my name. Say my name. Yeah. Because, 00:34:48.539 --> 00:34:51.039 I mean, especially. I mean, I know women can 00:34:51.039 --> 00:34:54.360 do it too, but I know guys are more famous for 00:34:54.360 --> 00:34:57.940 it. Guys are really good at just zoning out. 00:34:58.860 --> 00:35:02.519 It's a gift. Yeah. I've determined that it is 00:35:02.519 --> 00:35:05.139 a gift. And I think that, whew, that's a whole 00:35:05.139 --> 00:35:10.460 other topic in itself. Just the... the differences 00:35:10.460 --> 00:35:13.420 of how we communicate, the way that we go about 00:35:13.420 --> 00:35:16.920 things, the way that we're wired even. I know 00:35:16.920 --> 00:35:19.079 that there was that one comedian, Christian comedian 00:35:19.079 --> 00:35:23.920 guy, talking about how you guys can compartmentalize 00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:29.559 your thoughts where ours are high. Hardwired. 00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.239 Interconnected. And it looks like something a 00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:34.460 cat coughed up. Or like a bowl of spaghetti. 00:35:34.460 --> 00:35:37.920 Yeah. Like it's just everything is interwoven. 00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:42.460 That's why it's so easy for us to start telling 00:35:42.460 --> 00:35:45.760 you a story, but then veer off and tell you 14 00:35:45.760 --> 00:35:49.159 other subject matters. Or you start the story 00:35:49.159 --> 00:35:54.070 in act two. In act two. We have no intro. that's 00:35:54.070 --> 00:35:57.130 it right like you oh babe and so and this is 00:35:57.130 --> 00:35:58.969 what happened it's like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa 00:35:58.969 --> 00:36:01.630 what happened i missed the and after that what 00:36:01.630 --> 00:36:05.369 we'll do is we'll go to the store what and and 00:36:05.369 --> 00:36:10.469 i think are there exceptions to the rules absolutely 00:36:10.469 --> 00:36:17.210 absolutely but majority rules on this one that 00:36:17.210 --> 00:36:21.710 this is how men and women think and and you've 00:36:21.710 --> 00:36:26.179 just got You just have to stop insisting that 00:36:26.179 --> 00:36:29.199 your spouse be you. Yeah. Like, like I think 00:36:29.199 --> 00:36:32.559 that part is what I want to shout from the rooftops 00:36:32.559 --> 00:36:35.820 because it's like, I'll get nailed. I'll just, 00:36:35.940 --> 00:36:40.320 I'll, I will. send this the sweetest post i think 00:36:40.320 --> 00:36:43.980 something just something so simplistic and i 00:36:43.980 --> 00:36:46.780 will get hammered against the wall usually by 00:36:46.780 --> 00:36:50.139 the wives because it's like oh well you know 00:36:50.139 --> 00:36:53.019 if they if if if my spouse if they're going to 00:36:53.019 --> 00:36:55.679 put in the same amount of effort then i'll do 00:36:55.679 --> 00:36:58.659 and i'm like oh honey like that's not the word 00:36:58.659 --> 00:37:00.780 of god that's not what it says because here's 00:37:00.780 --> 00:37:02.579 even you see where i have something pulled up 00:37:02.579 --> 00:37:04.239 this is what's pulling up whenever you scared 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:10.480 me So 1 Peter 3, and it's talking about, hold 00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:16.579 on, let's see. It's talking about husbands and 00:37:16.579 --> 00:37:19.860 wives, right? And it's like, maybe is this the 00:37:19.860 --> 00:37:24.500 right one? This may not be the right one. We 00:37:24.500 --> 00:37:26.500 need to find it later. We're going to find it 00:37:26.500 --> 00:37:29.599 later. But the scripture that I'm talking about 00:37:29.599 --> 00:37:33.119 is where it's talking about the wife. being able 00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:35.400 to win over her husband that is not a Christian, 00:37:35.480 --> 00:37:37.980 that doesn't believe in God. And the way that 00:37:37.980 --> 00:37:41.760 she does it is not harp about Jesus and not harp 00:37:41.760 --> 00:37:45.619 about who he is. She serves him. Yeah. She lavishes 00:37:45.619 --> 00:37:49.840 her love upon him. She's a good and a faithful 00:37:49.840 --> 00:37:52.440 and amazing wife. We're not talking about like 00:37:52.440 --> 00:37:54.880 a doormat, but we're talking about somebody that 00:37:54.880 --> 00:37:58.039 just exudes and exemplifies the character of 00:37:58.039 --> 00:38:00.719 Christ. Yeah. Living out loud. She lives this 00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:05.059 out loud in front of him. And he's like, kind 00:38:05.059 --> 00:38:07.579 of like you with Tyler, right? Yeah. Next door 00:38:07.579 --> 00:38:10.500 neighbor. I don't know what it is that's so different 00:38:10.500 --> 00:38:12.340 about you, but I want whatever it is that you 00:38:12.340 --> 00:38:15.960 have. Yeah. Like, when we live our lives in such 00:38:15.960 --> 00:38:19.300 a simplistic manner where we're serving each 00:38:19.300 --> 00:38:21.300 other, that we're not taking care of each other 00:38:21.300 --> 00:38:23.519 based off of what we can get out of the deal. 00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:26.420 We genuinely love this person enough to where, 00:38:26.539 --> 00:38:28.940 I just want to take care of you. I just want 00:38:28.940 --> 00:38:31.940 to, what's going to make you happy today? Yeah. 00:38:32.039 --> 00:38:34.420 Right? Like, what can I do to make your life 00:38:34.420 --> 00:38:38.889 easier? And it's like. And insisting that that 00:38:38.889 --> 00:38:41.650 person thinks like you, acts like you, talks 00:38:41.650 --> 00:38:45.110 like you, responds like you, has the same mental 00:38:45.110 --> 00:38:48.269 capacity and the same thought process as you. 00:38:48.429 --> 00:38:51.429 Dear God, why did you get married? Yeah. Like, 00:38:51.429 --> 00:38:54.329 why would you do that? You're narcissistic at 00:38:54.329 --> 00:38:57.130 that point in my mind because like you might 00:38:57.130 --> 00:38:59.110 as well just have married you. You're looking 00:38:59.110 --> 00:39:02.489 for somebody that is like you. And you know why? 00:39:02.889 --> 00:39:07.019 Because that's easy. And guess what? Marriage 00:39:07.019 --> 00:39:10.980 isn't easy. The beautiful thing about marriage 00:39:10.980 --> 00:39:14.260 is you get to go into this covenant relationship 00:39:14.260 --> 00:39:17.639 with a person that has different thought processes, 00:39:17.800 --> 00:39:21.420 that has a different, like, just way of going 00:39:21.420 --> 00:39:24.599 about life and seeing things perspective -wise. 00:39:25.400 --> 00:39:28.119 And instead of insisting that they see things 00:39:28.119 --> 00:39:31.159 from your lens, you need to, you have been gifted. 00:39:32.300 --> 00:39:36.300 this this amazing ability to now see life through 00:39:36.300 --> 00:39:39.340 a different point of view with somebody that 00:39:39.340 --> 00:39:44.519 you know that loves you that you love there's 00:39:44.519 --> 00:39:47.880 nothing cooler yeah oh yeah there's genuinely 00:39:47.880 --> 00:39:53.460 nothing cooler and if you insist that this person 00:39:53.460 --> 00:39:58.179 comes along and does the same things and responds 00:39:58.179 --> 00:40:01.780 the same way and all of this stuff We all like 00:40:01.780 --> 00:40:04.159 the same food. We all like the same restaurants. 00:40:04.380 --> 00:40:06.440 We all like the same movies. We all like the 00:40:06.440 --> 00:40:07.619 same books. See, that sounds incredibly boring 00:40:07.619 --> 00:40:10.920 to me. Incredibly boring to me. As much as I 00:40:10.920 --> 00:40:13.320 say that now, at the beginning where I'm going, 00:40:13.420 --> 00:40:16.460 dear God, we have nothing in common. And I was 00:40:16.460 --> 00:40:18.860 genuine about it. I don't think it was more so 00:40:18.860 --> 00:40:21.460 like, dear God, we have nothing in common. But 00:40:21.460 --> 00:40:25.099 I think it was honestly more of me standing back 00:40:25.099 --> 00:40:27.280 going, do I even have anything to bring to the 00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:31.239 table? I feel very... Out of sorts here. Babe, 00:40:31.239 --> 00:40:35.639 when you and I first got together and you're 00:40:35.639 --> 00:40:43.559 showing me how incredibly... What am I trying 00:40:43.559 --> 00:40:46.059 to say? How I came from a world that valued book 00:40:46.059 --> 00:40:51.599 smarts. All the things. Yeah. And I'm... Why 00:40:51.599 --> 00:40:57.000 am I about to cry? I literally stood back and 00:40:57.000 --> 00:40:59.150 said, what do I have to bring to the table? Yeah. 00:41:00.670 --> 00:41:03.050 And I think that that might just, that just might've 00:41:03.050 --> 00:41:05.389 hit one of our listeners. See, because all of 00:41:05.389 --> 00:41:07.210 a sudden you go, what is it that I have to even 00:41:07.210 --> 00:41:11.730 bring to the table? Like I inadvertently, whether 00:41:11.730 --> 00:41:13.949 you realize it or not, it's like, you're not 00:41:13.949 --> 00:41:18.289 trying to, but subconsciously somehow it's like, 00:41:18.329 --> 00:41:20.949 if I could just bring this person back down to 00:41:20.949 --> 00:41:24.510 this kind of level, then I won't feel so inferior 00:41:24.510 --> 00:41:28.989 or I won't feel so. out of place or it may, or 00:41:28.989 --> 00:41:32.969 it won't stretch me as much. Yeah. I'll stay 00:41:32.969 --> 00:41:35.710 comfortable. There it is. In where I am. Yeah. 00:41:35.769 --> 00:41:38.590 Like all of the above. Yeah. Because it wasn't 00:41:38.590 --> 00:41:40.670 so much that I wasn't wanting to grow with you. 00:41:41.030 --> 00:41:43.949 My thing was, I genuinely didn't think that I 00:41:43.949 --> 00:41:45.829 brought something else to the table for you. 00:41:45.909 --> 00:41:48.469 Yeah. Because in my mind, you had, you were so 00:41:48.469 --> 00:41:51.369 cultured in so many different spaces and places 00:41:51.369 --> 00:41:54.369 that I'm like, I'm just a little girl from Missouri. 00:41:54.510 --> 00:41:59.579 How can I stretch him? Oh, look, look what I 00:41:59.579 --> 00:42:05.539 did. Look what God did. And I think, too, it's, 00:42:05.539 --> 00:42:08.360 you know, kind of part of that is, you know, 00:42:08.360 --> 00:42:11.840 yes, they do. They always say opposites attract 00:42:11.840 --> 00:42:14.219 and so on and so forth. And, you know, if you're 00:42:14.219 --> 00:42:16.159 not the same person, you always have something 00:42:16.159 --> 00:42:19.119 new to discover and all that. But I think also 00:42:19.119 --> 00:42:22.300 there's that fear of what if we're two opposite? 00:42:23.739 --> 00:42:26.599 What if we really have nothing in common? Yeah. 00:42:26.780 --> 00:42:30.000 You know, and, you know, people can work it out. 00:42:30.119 --> 00:42:33.739 Absolutely. I've seen several success stories. 00:42:34.019 --> 00:42:36.719 Yeah. Of people that are complete total polar 00:42:36.719 --> 00:42:40.840 opposites. Yeah. And they have an amazingly successful 00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:43.940 marriage. I immediately flashed to, back when 00:42:43.940 --> 00:42:47.199 I was at the news station, there were two journalists. 00:42:47.519 --> 00:42:51.239 Yeah. One was hardcore Republican. One was hardcore 00:42:51.239 --> 00:42:54.340 Democrat. Yeah. And they were. happily married 00:42:54.340 --> 00:42:56.920 yeah and they learned how to do this they learned 00:42:56.920 --> 00:43:00.420 to put their politics aside and they're just 00:43:00.420 --> 00:43:02.619 who they were yeah but they also brought things 00:43:02.619 --> 00:43:05.380 to the table for each other and said have you 00:43:05.380 --> 00:43:07.940 considered this yeah have you considered that 00:43:07.940 --> 00:43:10.699 i think that's a big portion of it yeah is because 00:43:10.699 --> 00:43:14.900 when you and i first sat down at the table wish 00:43:14.900 --> 00:43:17.420 we had video like i really do wish we had like 00:43:17.420 --> 00:43:21.460 yeah videoed that because it was it wasn't a 00:43:22.090 --> 00:43:26.969 When I genuinely say, because I did, what possessed 00:43:26.969 --> 00:43:30.889 you to do that? It wasn't me trying to. tear 00:43:30.889 --> 00:43:34.690 you down. It was me trying to understand what 00:43:34.690 --> 00:43:38.769 frame of mind were you in when this happened? 00:43:38.969 --> 00:43:43.110 Where were you in your walk? Not even your walk 00:43:43.110 --> 00:43:44.869 with Jesus, because you were a brand new Christian, 00:43:44.929 --> 00:43:48.030 but just your walk in life. Where were you in 00:43:48.030 --> 00:43:50.389 that space? And are you going to go back there 00:43:50.389 --> 00:43:52.530 even though you've got Jesus? That part, right? 00:43:52.670 --> 00:43:56.750 While you were making these decisions, what provoked 00:43:56.750 --> 00:44:00.769 this? to come to the forefront, to the scene. 00:44:00.929 --> 00:44:04.570 Because it's the same with me. Like, you have 00:44:04.570 --> 00:44:08.070 never really flat out asked me. I'm the one that 00:44:08.070 --> 00:44:09.889 will come to you and go, babe, listen to the 00:44:09.889 --> 00:44:11.989 revelation of why I did some of the stupid stuff 00:44:11.989 --> 00:44:15.610 that I did. Dear God, babe, babe, ooh, babe, 00:44:15.710 --> 00:44:22.469 let me tell you why. I was such a jerk. Let me 00:44:22.469 --> 00:44:24.329 tell, you know. I've got a banner for you. Check 00:44:24.329 --> 00:44:27.280 it out. Read this banner. Look. I was this because 00:44:27.280 --> 00:44:31.920 of this, you know, but it's, it's like, I think 00:44:31.920 --> 00:44:33.559 that that's, what's so cool. Cause you get to 00:44:33.559 --> 00:44:37.699 like, start spinning it, spinning it in a way 00:44:37.699 --> 00:44:39.239 to where it's like, when you're looking at this 00:44:39.239 --> 00:44:42.780 person, you go, I get to learn something different. 00:44:43.900 --> 00:44:46.159 Not just about you, but I get to learn something 00:44:46.159 --> 00:44:49.059 different about life. And you're a child of God. 00:44:49.119 --> 00:44:52.260 You're created in the image of God. I get to 00:44:52.260 --> 00:44:54.340 find out something different about God because 00:44:54.340 --> 00:44:57.159 you get to hold a piece of the puzzle that I 00:44:57.159 --> 00:45:04.699 may not even have. Like, stop. stop like i understand 00:45:04.699 --> 00:45:06.800 the the birds of the feather want to flock together 00:45:06.800 --> 00:45:08.940 and i understand that sometimes it's just easier 00:45:08.940 --> 00:45:10.800 because you're like oh man we got all this history 00:45:10.800 --> 00:45:13.320 sometimes like i even heard like people say you 00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:16.360 know from this generation here and age wise and 00:45:16.360 --> 00:45:19.039 just these are your people and these are your 00:45:19.039 --> 00:45:20.679 people over here because based off the music 00:45:20.679 --> 00:45:23.559 genre and the way that you've been raised and 00:45:23.559 --> 00:45:25.900 grown up and stuff and i want to go no that's 00:45:25.900 --> 00:45:29.719 cool yeah are you going to bridge the gap right 00:45:30.119 --> 00:45:33.440 Are you going to take the next step to bridge 00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:36.320 the great divide? And that just might happen 00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:39.039 to be your spouse. Yeah. Or if it may not be 00:45:39.039 --> 00:45:41.039 your spouse, that might happen to be your in 00:45:41.039 --> 00:45:43.400 -laws. Or even if you are the same generation. 00:45:43.619 --> 00:45:46.219 Yeah. The fact that y 'all are two different 00:45:46.219 --> 00:45:48.800 personalities. Yeah. From two different sects 00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:51.699 of the place, of the planet. I was raised over 00:45:51.699 --> 00:45:54.360 here. I was raised in Texas. Yeah. You were raised 00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:58.269 over in Nebraska. Yes. Like, that's... As much 00:45:58.269 --> 00:45:59.889 as people go, well, it's not much different. 00:45:59.949 --> 00:46:03.769 Oh, it's a lot different. A lot different. And 00:46:03.769 --> 00:46:05.949 I'm not even a Nebraskan. You're not a Nebraskan. 00:46:05.949 --> 00:46:09.230 You're a Virginian. Yeah. But you're an Air Force 00:46:09.230 --> 00:46:12.469 kid. As a baby, baby. You're like an Air Force 00:46:12.469 --> 00:46:16.530 kid. Yeah. You're actually European. I am. You 00:46:16.530 --> 00:46:20.570 are UK all the way. I really am. And that in 00:46:20.570 --> 00:46:24.929 itself. Is a trip. It's a trip. We're not even 00:46:24.929 --> 00:46:27.690 on the same continent at that point, maybe. But 00:46:27.690 --> 00:46:31.429 people make it work all the time. They do. They 00:46:31.429 --> 00:46:36.789 do. People make it work all the time. I want 00:46:36.789 --> 00:46:40.510 to teach this to our family, to our friends, 00:46:40.730 --> 00:46:46.250 to our children. Stop running after the things 00:46:46.250 --> 00:46:51.550 that are easy. Stop insisting that things... 00:46:51.849 --> 00:46:55.289 constantly be easy. And stop thinking that as 00:46:55.289 --> 00:46:57.210 soon as you get married all things are going 00:46:57.210 --> 00:47:00.789 to fall into place. Like that part. You get to 00:47:00.789 --> 00:47:04.329 spend the rest of your days growing and learning 00:47:04.329 --> 00:47:09.650 this person. And whether this is a thing of you're 00:47:09.650 --> 00:47:12.730 in a marriage or in a relationship or this is 00:47:12.730 --> 00:47:15.190 your friendships. Even the people that God has 00:47:15.190 --> 00:47:19.579 placed in your life to do life with. You get 00:47:19.579 --> 00:47:22.679 to literally stand back and just go, I get to 00:47:22.679 --> 00:47:25.420 learn something different about you. I get to 00:47:25.420 --> 00:47:28.539 learn something even different about me based 00:47:28.539 --> 00:47:32.119 off of how I respond to you and how I see this. 00:47:32.639 --> 00:47:36.860 Because it's like, at my birthday, everybody 00:47:36.860 --> 00:47:39.300 was so kind and said so many beautifully amazing 00:47:39.300 --> 00:47:42.920 things, right? And I'm standing there and I'd 00:47:42.920 --> 00:47:47.179 even said it. I was like, you guys helped make 00:47:47.179 --> 00:47:52.099 me, me. Because it's like, I think of Heather 00:47:52.099 --> 00:47:55.179 and Marsha in particular when it comes to people 00:47:55.179 --> 00:47:58.880 that I encounter and women that might be going 00:47:58.880 --> 00:48:01.039 through certain parts of their life or certain 00:48:01.039 --> 00:48:04.400 journeys that are similar to some of my best 00:48:04.400 --> 00:48:08.219 friends. And I can, because of who they are and 00:48:08.219 --> 00:48:10.599 the relationship that I have with them and the 00:48:10.599 --> 00:48:13.000 relationship that I know that God has with them, 00:48:13.119 --> 00:48:17.289 that they are able. I'm able to look at this 00:48:17.289 --> 00:48:20.269 person that's standing in front of me and be 00:48:20.269 --> 00:48:22.849 able to, without a shadow of a doubt, say, I 00:48:22.849 --> 00:48:25.429 absolutely know what God is capable of. Yeah. 00:48:26.110 --> 00:48:29.690 Because have you met my friend? Yeah. Because 00:48:29.690 --> 00:48:34.849 it's possible, right? And it's like having a 00:48:34.849 --> 00:48:36.929 greater understanding of your spouse and looking 00:48:36.929 --> 00:48:40.250 at your spouse and saying, oh, I recognize this 00:48:40.250 --> 00:48:42.670 personality because this is my husband. Yeah. 00:48:43.159 --> 00:48:47.719 Okay, so that means I'm going to use the tools 00:48:47.719 --> 00:48:51.300 that I know to use in how I can communicate with 00:48:51.300 --> 00:48:55.639 him in an effective, respectful manner. I can 00:48:55.639 --> 00:48:59.019 now use these tools to help hopefully, respectfully, 00:48:59.239 --> 00:49:01.800 and effectively communicate with this person. 00:49:01.980 --> 00:49:04.619 Because you have told me you have people at your 00:49:04.619 --> 00:49:07.440 work that you go, yeah, it's just like you, babe. 00:49:07.539 --> 00:49:10.800 Yeah. This person is you. Yeah. And now you know 00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:13.849 how to communicate. Yeah. As opposed to, why 00:49:13.849 --> 00:49:18.570 are you an idiot? Yeah. Or, hey, there's this 00:49:18.570 --> 00:49:20.550 person at work that reminds me a whole lot of 00:49:20.550 --> 00:49:22.210 this person that we know at church. That's it. 00:49:22.269 --> 00:49:24.369 That can rub people the wrong way. Come on. If 00:49:24.369 --> 00:49:28.849 X, Y, and Z happen. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, 00:49:28.969 --> 00:49:31.210 okay. Well, once you learn to talk that language 00:49:31.210 --> 00:49:35.300 and you know, okay. oh, he's not really a jerk. 00:49:35.320 --> 00:49:37.679 He's just a jerk to people that are pretentious 00:49:37.679 --> 00:49:40.119 and conceited and think they know everything 00:49:40.119 --> 00:49:42.880 even though they don't. Oh, okay. If you actually 00:49:42.880 --> 00:49:44.659 go up to him and say, hey, I want to learn and 00:49:44.659 --> 00:49:47.480 I genuinely want to learn, I want to know. Oh, 00:49:47.639 --> 00:49:49.659 they're the kindest person in the world. Oh, 00:49:49.659 --> 00:49:54.539 sweet. Cool. Yep. Yep. Shout out. Yep. That's 00:49:54.539 --> 00:49:58.260 it. But that's it. It is. It's that space. And 00:49:58.260 --> 00:50:04.769 so it's no changing. Yeah. No changing. Like 00:50:04.769 --> 00:50:07.829 I like that. Yeah. It is. It's a no changing. 00:50:07.989 --> 00:50:11.590 It's stepping into the arena with this person 00:50:11.590 --> 00:50:15.869 and saying, if there is something that needs 00:50:15.869 --> 00:50:18.170 to be taken care of and there needs to be something 00:50:18.170 --> 00:50:20.449 that needs to be addressed, we understand those 00:50:20.449 --> 00:50:24.510 kind of things. Yeah. Right? But do it out of 00:50:24.510 --> 00:50:29.030 a spirit of humility, out of a heart of love, 00:50:29.170 --> 00:50:36.719 and out of... An attitude of, hey, we are going 00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:40.300 to make it to the other side. Yeah. It just may 00:50:40.300 --> 00:50:43.840 not look the way that I think it is. So what 00:50:43.840 --> 00:50:48.360 way can I help better serve you to make this 00:50:48.360 --> 00:50:53.119 better? Yeah. That's what it is. That's what 00:50:53.119 --> 00:50:58.260 it's about. Yep. I love that. That's good. Is 00:50:58.260 --> 00:51:00.960 that good? Yeah, I think so. I love that. You 00:51:00.960 --> 00:51:04.820 keep yawning. I'll just call it out. You keep 00:51:04.820 --> 00:51:06.860 yawning. Yeah, I do. I do keep yawning. I do. 00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:09.400 It's been a big day. It has been a big day. It's 00:51:09.400 --> 00:51:15.739 been a big week. It's been a big month. I know. 00:51:15.820 --> 00:51:19.000 We're still starting off of May. Yeah. Because 00:51:19.000 --> 00:51:22.380 it did. It started at the beginning of May. Yeah. 00:51:22.460 --> 00:51:25.699 End of April. The very end of April. Dang. Yeah. 00:51:27.480 --> 00:51:29.619 We've just been running. It feels like we've 00:51:29.619 --> 00:51:31.840 just been running so hard for the past like 45 00:51:31.840 --> 00:51:36.659 days. Yeah. I mean, some of it's been good. I 00:51:36.659 --> 00:51:38.300 mean, yes, we went to a funeral. That was not 00:51:38.300 --> 00:51:40.980 good. We went to a funeral. We went to a wedding. 00:51:41.139 --> 00:51:43.199 Yeah. The wedding was good. Wedding was good. 00:51:43.639 --> 00:51:46.780 We had a birthday. Yeah. Celebrated Mother's 00:51:46.780 --> 00:51:49.900 Day. Two birthdays. Two birthdays we did. Yeah. 00:51:50.619 --> 00:51:52.579 Celebrated our anniversary. Celebrated our anniversary. 00:51:52.579 --> 00:51:54.000 I was like, there's one more thing. Quiet celebration. 00:51:54.199 --> 00:51:58.079 Yep. it was a quiet it was the end of school 00:51:58.079 --> 00:52:01.619 you subbed for almost two weeks straight yeah 00:52:01.619 --> 00:52:07.679 changing job positions yeah or job duties yeah 00:52:07.679 --> 00:52:11.739 yeah it's I'm telling you the past 45 days got 00:52:11.739 --> 00:52:14.739 a new car I mean this is and it is it's like 00:52:14.739 --> 00:52:17.340 you're like okay our friends are like you know 00:52:17.340 --> 00:52:22.239 waiting for the the gun to go off and I'm thinking 00:52:22.239 --> 00:52:27.190 listen guys it went off 90 days ago, like we've 00:52:27.190 --> 00:52:31.809 been nonstop and it doesn't seem to be letting 00:52:31.809 --> 00:52:37.309 up anytime soon. And that's okay. It is okay. 00:52:37.429 --> 00:52:40.449 I think, I think what's happening at this point, 00:52:40.489 --> 00:52:42.969 and it was really sweet because today you and 00:52:42.969 --> 00:52:47.170 I, when we went to the grocery store and literally 00:52:47.170 --> 00:52:51.750 we're doing this, the paired app and answering 00:52:51.750 --> 00:52:54.820 the same questions. basically the same way with 00:52:54.820 --> 00:52:57.820 the same answers and just turning and looking 00:52:57.820 --> 00:53:00.739 at each other and going, the fact that we recognize 00:53:00.739 --> 00:53:06.920 it is, is massive. Now it's time to put ourselves 00:53:06.920 --> 00:53:10.219 on a schedule, actually write these things down, 00:53:10.320 --> 00:53:15.400 get it out on paper. And then I think once it 00:53:15.400 --> 00:53:20.039 gets out of our heads and actually out onto whatever, 00:53:20.199 --> 00:53:24.480 I think things will, Become a little less noisy. 00:53:25.440 --> 00:53:31.139 What hit me. Yeah. Was we're learning a new stride. 00:53:31.639 --> 00:53:36.179 We're learning a new pace. I like that. Yeah. 00:53:36.360 --> 00:53:40.000 The stamina. Yeah. Yeah. Growing our stamina. 00:53:40.059 --> 00:53:44.099 Yeah. It's like, okay, this was your stride. 00:53:44.099 --> 00:53:46.139 This was your pace. Okay. It's time to, it's 00:53:46.139 --> 00:53:48.699 time to change things up and increase it. Yeah. 00:53:50.440 --> 00:53:54.050 So. We should go take a nap first before we do 00:53:54.050 --> 00:53:56.769 that, though. Yeah. I would appreciate that. 00:53:57.150 --> 00:53:59.829 Okay. All right, guys. Have the best week. Enjoy 00:53:59.829 --> 00:54:00.170 the journey.