WEBVTT 00:00:07.629 --> 00:00:10.390 Hello and welcome back to another episode of 00:00:10.390 --> 00:00:14.330 Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na. Hey 00:00:14.330 --> 00:00:18.010 babe. Hi babe. How's it going? You know, it's 00:00:18.010 --> 00:00:22.829 good. It's good. It is good. It's really, really 00:00:22.829 --> 00:00:25.289 good. I'm doing my best not to be completely 00:00:25.289 --> 00:00:27.429 stressed. I know. I know. And I know we were 00:00:27.429 --> 00:00:29.109 just talking about that. But it's like, you know 00:00:29.109 --> 00:00:31.929 what? Let's tell those wonderful folks at home 00:00:31.929 --> 00:00:35.670 that I'm stressed. Because we missed last week. 00:00:35.789 --> 00:00:37.969 We missed last week. And that's okay. It is okay. 00:00:38.049 --> 00:00:43.590 Because we've been busy. Yes. And do you want 00:00:43.590 --> 00:00:46.100 to tell them what we've been busy with? We have 00:00:46.100 --> 00:00:50.979 finally built a website. Yes. Yes. It initially 00:00:50.979 --> 00:00:54.920 was built through Canva. Yes. Predominantly by 00:00:54.920 --> 00:01:00.380 me. Yes. And then you tried to lovingly upload 00:01:00.380 --> 00:01:05.060 it to a host site. Yes. To carry said website 00:01:05.060 --> 00:01:09.340 and it wouldn't take it. No. It was not something 00:01:09.340 --> 00:01:13.120 we could just copy paste or very simply drag 00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:18.230 and drop. And so some of it was involving, yeah, 00:01:18.349 --> 00:01:25.829 it's a work in progress. It creates stress. Listen, 00:01:26.129 --> 00:01:29.890 guys, I am going to tell it like it is. I already 00:01:29.890 --> 00:01:32.010 told one of our sweet, sweet friends of ours. 00:01:32.810 --> 00:01:36.670 Listen, if you want to see how solid your marriage 00:01:36.670 --> 00:01:42.329 is. Try to sit there and build a website together. 00:01:42.650 --> 00:01:47.890 You had to talk me off the ledge. I did. You 00:01:47.890 --> 00:01:51.209 were about to break stuff. A lot of stuff. You 00:01:51.209 --> 00:01:53.709 were about to destroy my computer. You know, 00:01:53.930 --> 00:02:00.560 I'm just saying. It was that whole... I have 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:02.939 wasted all this time. I've wasted all this energy. 00:02:03.040 --> 00:02:05.120 What have I been doing for the last however many 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:07.959 weeks to build this thing and do all the things? 00:02:08.099 --> 00:02:10.000 Oh, I didn't turn off my phone. Oh, no, you didn't. 00:02:10.840 --> 00:02:20.280 And how do I do this? Right. So that stuff. So 00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:22.879 I literally had to get up out of the chair and 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:26.520 walk away for a second. And me and Jesus, we 00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:31.240 had to work it out because. I think that's what 00:02:31.240 --> 00:02:35.300 it was because it's like I'm texting literally 00:02:35.300 --> 00:02:39.319 with my oldest brother, with Bobby, and listen, 00:02:39.620 --> 00:02:45.199 guys, get yourself somebody that cheers loudly 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:51.039 for you because between Luke going, I'm sorry, 00:02:51.259 --> 00:02:53.500 I'm sorry, babe, I'm sorry. We can figure this 00:02:53.500 --> 00:02:55.000 out. We got it. We're going to figure this out. 00:02:55.120 --> 00:02:59.120 Which light do you want to start building? you 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:03.080 know, kind of thing. And I wasn't that aggressive, 00:03:03.180 --> 00:03:07.680 but I, I was very, I saw it on your face. You 00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:10.080 were, um, to the point where I even looked at 00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:12.479 you and I said, I promise I'm not mad at you. 00:03:12.599 --> 00:03:15.479 I'm not yelling at you. Even though I'm raising 00:03:15.479 --> 00:03:20.259 my voice right now, it's not, it's not, ah, it's 00:03:20.259 --> 00:03:26.539 not at you. Um, I, I'm grateful because like, 00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:31.219 And he's cheering loudly for us. He's so excited 00:03:31.219 --> 00:03:33.039 about everything that we have accomplished so 00:03:33.039 --> 00:03:38.520 far. And even today, you know, we're sending 00:03:38.520 --> 00:03:41.539 him the website address and all the things and 00:03:41.539 --> 00:03:45.280 him shooting back. You know, we're getting ready. 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:46.819 You and I are getting ready for church. Yeah. 00:03:47.180 --> 00:03:49.800 And then he just sends that sweet text that just 00:03:49.800 --> 00:03:51.599 says, I just want to tell you how proud I am 00:03:51.599 --> 00:03:56.930 of you. Yeah. And it's like. thanks big brother 00:03:56.930 --> 00:04:01.969 so have people strategically yes that will tell 00:04:01.969 --> 00:04:06.210 you the truth yeah that will also yell louder 00:04:06.210 --> 00:04:09.710 than the naysayers or clap louder than the silence 00:04:09.710 --> 00:04:14.710 and it's like because that is everything it is 00:04:14.710 --> 00:04:17.470 that's kind of everything and as much as you 00:04:17.470 --> 00:04:21.800 and i are so good at encouraging each other When 00:04:21.800 --> 00:04:25.500 you and I are in the same space, you're doing 00:04:25.500 --> 00:04:29.740 your best to learn. You now are learning a completely 00:04:29.740 --> 00:04:31.839 different web design. Because it was frustrating 00:04:31.839 --> 00:04:38.889 for me. Because it's not... The website I was 00:04:38.889 --> 00:04:41.490 using to build our website was not something 00:04:41.490 --> 00:04:43.990 that is just like, oh, yeah, just click and drag 00:04:43.990 --> 00:04:46.910 and click and add. And you can quickly add this 00:04:46.910 --> 00:04:50.709 and readjust this real quickly. And I'm like, 00:04:50.769 --> 00:04:55.990 yeah, that's not good. Like you cussed probably 00:04:55.990 --> 00:04:59.149 or tried to or almost did a couple of times. 00:04:59.430 --> 00:05:04.250 But I think what we did is we walked away. And 00:05:04.250 --> 00:05:09.279 now that we can look at this. And I'm standing 00:05:09.279 --> 00:05:12.360 back and I'm like, all right, Father, nothing 00:05:12.360 --> 00:05:15.939 is ever wasted. Number one, we're now honing 00:05:15.939 --> 00:05:20.120 into skills that we do need, that we get to grow, 00:05:20.300 --> 00:05:25.899 that we get to polish. We also got to see a web 00:05:25.899 --> 00:05:28.980 design to where we're standing back and going. 00:05:29.560 --> 00:05:31.519 Okay, well, that's really actually pretty cool. 00:05:31.779 --> 00:05:36.519 Yeah. Not that our first one wasn't good. Right. 00:05:37.500 --> 00:05:40.579 But there is something a little bit extra. Yeah. 00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:43.540 It's very polished, very professional. Yeah. 00:05:43.980 --> 00:05:46.879 Still a couple things. I'd say it's probably 00:05:46.879 --> 00:05:51.199 85 % to 90%. So we've already got it launched. 00:05:51.339 --> 00:05:52.939 Yeah, it's live. So when you guys go. Live, live. 00:05:54.250 --> 00:05:58.170 and peruse through the website, just know that 00:05:58.170 --> 00:06:00.350 you might hit a couple of places where you go, 00:06:00.449 --> 00:06:02.149 well, this doesn't quite look right, or maybe 00:06:02.149 --> 00:06:05.069 it looks like it's... It's using filler words. 00:06:05.810 --> 00:06:10.230 Or it looks like it's stock stuff. Just know 00:06:10.230 --> 00:06:15.810 that we are still in the process, and there are 00:06:15.810 --> 00:06:21.050 only so many hours in a day, and we have children. 00:06:21.800 --> 00:06:24.560 We have jobs. We have lives. We have family. 00:06:24.699 --> 00:06:27.600 We have each other that we need to pour into. 00:06:27.920 --> 00:06:33.779 And so that was why we missed last week. It gets 00:06:33.779 --> 00:06:39.500 to be a lot, but it's a good a lot because it's 00:06:39.500 --> 00:06:43.930 like... I feel like we're seeing the light at 00:06:43.930 --> 00:06:45.750 the end of the tunnel. I think so, yeah. On this 00:06:45.750 --> 00:06:47.709 one. As far as this project, yes. As far as this 00:06:47.709 --> 00:06:51.470 project goes. Because... Because ultimately, 00:06:51.649 --> 00:06:55.449 we've talked that this is just the very beginning 00:06:55.449 --> 00:07:05.769 of this journey. It is. Yeah. It is. But I think... 00:07:05.769 --> 00:07:12.649 I think that that's... I think the reason why 00:07:12.649 --> 00:07:16.430 you and I are staying, for the most part, fairly 00:07:16.430 --> 00:07:21.569 peaceful through it all is because we're like, 00:07:21.810 --> 00:07:24.730 Father, we're going to do it the way that you 00:07:24.730 --> 00:07:27.350 tell us to do it. Yeah. We're going to do this 00:07:27.350 --> 00:07:31.089 best in the timing that you allow us. He never 00:07:31.089 --> 00:07:35.389 gives us really a time frame. No. There's a... 00:07:35.389 --> 00:07:38.439 Hey, you should do this. Yeah. There was going 00:07:38.439 --> 00:07:40.680 to be a word I was going to use. Oh, sorry. It's 00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:46.779 okay. A prodding? Yeah. I was about to say, not 00:07:46.779 --> 00:07:49.800 quite an urgency. Yeah, not quite an urgency, 00:07:49.819 --> 00:07:51.839 but enough of a prodding. Yeah. It's like... 00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:56.399 Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. I need you to do this. 00:07:56.540 --> 00:08:01.199 Right? And he's... Man. You know, when you walk 00:08:01.199 --> 00:08:04.339 this out with God, it just... It really is a 00:08:04.339 --> 00:08:08.740 lot easier than what... what it seems. True. 00:08:08.839 --> 00:08:11.959 Yeah. You know, I get that scripture where it 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:14.839 says, my yoke is easy. My burden is light. Yeah. 00:08:14.899 --> 00:08:18.980 If we walk with him and he's like, I have a task 00:08:18.980 --> 00:08:23.860 that we, we, we, we need to accomplish. I'm not 00:08:23.860 --> 00:08:25.980 going to leave you. I'm right here with you. 00:08:26.019 --> 00:08:30.759 I'm plowing along with you and I'm going to share 00:08:30.759 --> 00:08:36.450 with you in this. To where it's not just me doing 00:08:36.450 --> 00:08:40.570 all of it, but you get to do your part and get 00:08:40.570 --> 00:08:43.909 to grow in a space. And I think that that's what's 00:08:43.909 --> 00:08:47.149 so beautiful about walking this progress with, 00:08:47.169 --> 00:08:51.309 you know, the coaching and then the books and 00:08:51.309 --> 00:08:55.409 the podcast and just life. And it literally does, 00:08:55.669 --> 00:08:58.889 it literally bleeds into every space of our lives. 00:08:58.970 --> 00:09:02.210 Standing back, even teaching our children, hey. 00:09:02.830 --> 00:09:05.210 Just take a deep breath. Take a deep breath. 00:09:05.389 --> 00:09:08.330 It's going to be okay. There is no time frame 00:09:08.330 --> 00:09:13.929 here. If God says do it, you do it. Don't let 00:09:13.929 --> 00:09:18.190 the pressures of this world be the determining 00:09:18.190 --> 00:09:21.350 factor on when and when you don't or if you do 00:09:21.350 --> 00:09:27.110 or if you don't. It's one step at a time, trusting 00:09:27.110 --> 00:09:33.240 the process, enjoying the journey. All of it. 00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:40.080 It bleeds into our marriages. Life becomes a 00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:44.519 lot more peaceful. It does. That's the second 00:09:44.519 --> 00:09:47.659 or third time you've said that. We had talked 00:09:47.659 --> 00:09:50.799 about some of the frustration and some of the... 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:56.940 that we went through with this. It was something 00:09:56.940 --> 00:09:59.460 that you and I talked about the other day. When 00:09:59.460 --> 00:10:02.139 I was at work and walking sparks, it was like, 00:10:02.159 --> 00:10:05.539 because you were talking about joy. And then 00:10:05.539 --> 00:10:10.240 it made me think of peace. Yeah. You know, because 00:10:10.240 --> 00:10:13.919 peace doesn't necessarily mean the absence of 00:10:13.919 --> 00:10:17.820 conflict. Correct. You know, and I think a lot 00:10:17.820 --> 00:10:20.460 of people need to know that and remember that. 00:10:20.620 --> 00:10:24.879 Yeah. Because your home can be full of peace. 00:10:25.139 --> 00:10:27.860 Yeah. Even though there is sometimes conflict. 00:10:27.940 --> 00:10:30.820 Yeah. Or even a little bit of chaos. Right. Yeah. 00:10:30.919 --> 00:10:35.379 Because it's that comfort. It's that stability. 00:10:35.559 --> 00:10:40.799 It's that security. It's that knowing that even 00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:43.480 if there's conflict, we're not going anywhere. 00:10:43.759 --> 00:10:48.480 Right. And it's just like when we were talking 00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:52.139 about joy. Joy is not happiness. You can have 00:10:52.139 --> 00:10:55.960 joy even if you're sad. Right. Again, it's back 00:10:55.960 --> 00:11:03.850 to that. How filled are you with the Holy Spirit? 00:11:03.970 --> 00:11:06.250 Or how are you filled with the Holy Spirit? That 00:11:06.250 --> 00:11:09.389 helps determine your peace. That helps determine 00:11:09.389 --> 00:11:15.049 your joy. And so even if you are having a conflict, 00:11:15.169 --> 00:11:18.750 even if you are both tearing your hair out through 00:11:18.750 --> 00:11:21.529 frustration of trying to build a website or trying 00:11:21.529 --> 00:11:28.399 to build furniture from Ikea, it's like... That 00:11:28.399 --> 00:11:31.679 happens. Life happens. But again, it's where 00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:34.580 is your source and where are you leaning into 00:11:34.580 --> 00:11:40.299 when that happens? Because again, we are going 00:11:40.299 --> 00:11:42.539 to have disagreements. There will be frustration. 00:11:42.779 --> 00:11:45.740 There will be struggles. There are going to be 00:11:45.740 --> 00:11:49.860 obstacles. Again, we have an enemy that's out 00:11:49.860 --> 00:11:54.399 to trip us up, to take us out. take our eyes 00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:57.039 off of each other take our eyes off of god right 00:11:57.039 --> 00:12:00.820 so it's like okay we know the struggles and persecution 00:12:00.820 --> 00:12:04.139 and all this stuff is going to happen right what 00:12:04.139 --> 00:12:06.840 do we do in the meantime or what do we do when 00:12:06.840 --> 00:12:10.600 it comes right right you know because again it's 00:12:10.600 --> 00:12:12.919 you know i know i love to say you know again 00:12:12.919 --> 00:12:16.919 it says you know when you know when the struggles 00:12:16.919 --> 00:12:19.759 come when the persecution comes you know no no 00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:23.659 weapon formed against you not Oh, if a weapon 00:12:23.659 --> 00:12:25.960 ever gets formed, it's like, no, it's been formed. 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:29.519 Yeah. They are being formed. Yeah. Yeah. You 00:12:29.519 --> 00:12:32.700 know, so it's like there are weapons. There are 00:12:32.700 --> 00:12:35.980 struggles. There is persecution. What are we 00:12:35.980 --> 00:12:38.820 going to do about it? That's it. That's it. Because 00:12:38.820 --> 00:12:41.960 there's like you keep saying it's like standing 00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:45.440 in a space of where's your foundation? Yeah. 00:12:45.500 --> 00:12:47.860 What is your foundation like? Because I know 00:12:47.860 --> 00:12:50.480 a lot of times when we do some of the relationship 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:54.860 coaching. Um, you know, like you and I will look 00:12:54.860 --> 00:12:59.559 at the spouses and say, do you still want to 00:12:59.559 --> 00:13:02.360 be married to this person? Yeah. Do you still 00:13:02.360 --> 00:13:05.940 want to be here? Do you love them? Are you willing 00:13:05.940 --> 00:13:10.200 to fight for them? It's funny because sometimes 00:13:10.200 --> 00:13:12.639 it's like, oh, of course. Of course they do. 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:15.240 Of course they're going to say yes. Actually, 00:13:15.320 --> 00:13:18.740 not necessarily. Not necessarily. We've had people 00:13:18.740 --> 00:13:21.179 that paused and I'm thinking, holy crap, we're 00:13:21.179 --> 00:13:26.740 in trouble. Do you want to be married? And you 00:13:26.740 --> 00:13:28.419 want to go, no, the answer is yes. The answer 00:13:28.419 --> 00:13:32.379 is yes. Hello, the answer is yes. But it's... 00:13:34.909 --> 00:13:36.990 I explained it to our beautiful brown -eyed girl 00:13:36.990 --> 00:13:38.529 one day, and I just looked at her and I said, 00:13:38.549 --> 00:13:41.029 listen to me. You're going to be stepping into 00:13:41.029 --> 00:13:43.289 this arena one day. You're going to be married. 00:13:43.870 --> 00:13:45.990 You're going to have conflict. You're going to 00:13:45.990 --> 00:13:48.350 have arguments. You're going to have disagreements. 00:13:48.350 --> 00:13:49.769 There's going to be things that you will not 00:13:49.769 --> 00:13:51.629 see eye to eye on. You just won't because you're 00:13:51.629 --> 00:13:52.129 not the same person. You're going to wake up 00:13:52.129 --> 00:13:54.009 and be like, I do not like you. I do not like 00:13:54.009 --> 00:13:56.700 you. Again, I love that my brother and sister 00:13:56.700 --> 00:13:58.899 -in -law were so, so candid. Yeah, there was 00:13:58.899 --> 00:14:03.360 a whole year. Whole year? 365 days. That is a 00:14:03.360 --> 00:14:07.720 lot of effort to say, I don't like you, but I'm 00:14:07.720 --> 00:14:14.720 not leaving. I have chosen to be in this space 00:14:14.720 --> 00:14:20.860 with you. I have chosen to grow in this space 00:14:20.860 --> 00:14:25.460 and learn in this space with you. And when we 00:14:25.460 --> 00:14:29.460 take the time to say, I choose you. I choose 00:14:29.460 --> 00:14:33.120 you and I will never change my mind. I may not 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:35.879 like you today. May not like this moment. May 00:14:35.879 --> 00:14:38.259 not like how you responded to that. But I'm going 00:14:38.259 --> 00:14:40.360 to choose you because you're mine. And you're 00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:42.960 going to know that I'm on your side. I'm on your 00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:45.340 team. You were a bonehead. Did not like that. 00:14:45.679 --> 00:14:48.820 Let's communicate that. Let's say this in a way. 00:14:49.139 --> 00:14:52.710 Like even learning how to say it in a way. That 00:14:52.710 --> 00:14:55.490 is more encouraging as opposed to discouraging. 00:14:55.629 --> 00:14:58.269 Yeah. That you're not tearing your spouse down 00:14:58.269 --> 00:15:01.429 telling them that they're an idiot or that whatever. 00:15:01.909 --> 00:15:09.389 Yeah. It's the learning how to speak truth in 00:15:09.389 --> 00:15:14.750 love and even sometimes just being okay in the 00:15:14.750 --> 00:15:19.789 silence. Yeah. And I think also speaking the 00:15:19.789 --> 00:15:22.919 truth. Not just in love, but also speaking truth 00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:27.240 in the hard. In the hard. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Because 00:15:27.240 --> 00:15:30.200 again, it's... I love you enough to tell you 00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:32.279 the hard truth. Right. Yes. You know, it's like, 00:15:32.360 --> 00:15:35.139 I love you. This is really bothering me. Yeah. 00:15:35.340 --> 00:15:39.360 I love you. It upsets me when you say this, do 00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:43.120 this, act like this. Right. You know? And so 00:15:43.120 --> 00:15:45.600 it's like, oh no, I can't ever say that to my 00:15:45.600 --> 00:15:48.870 spouse. I love them. It's like... then tell them 00:15:48.870 --> 00:15:52.470 what's wrong yeah yeah if this genuinely bothers 00:15:52.470 --> 00:15:56.370 you you know again we had similar conversation 00:15:56.370 --> 00:15:58.629 i mean something similar to this kind of brought 00:15:58.629 --> 00:16:00.929 up earlier when we were talking with some friends 00:16:00.929 --> 00:16:03.669 you know and the our one of our favorite subjects 00:16:03.669 --> 00:16:06.950 of you know laundry came up again yes if this 00:16:06.950 --> 00:16:11.429 upsets you the way i fold your shirts then you 00:16:11.429 --> 00:16:15.159 do then then you please do it yeah or please 00:16:15.159 --> 00:16:18.860 say something yeah yeah you know or or teach 00:16:18.860 --> 00:16:23.179 me yeah i genuinely cannot learn this if i genuinely 00:16:23.179 --> 00:16:26.759 stop honey sparks is trying to kiss me yes um 00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.440 i just want to let our listeners know what was 00:16:29.440 --> 00:16:34.539 happening you're distracting me um i forgot what 00:16:34.539 --> 00:16:37.120 i was going to say talking about learning yeah 00:16:37.659 --> 00:16:40.039 Teach me. And if it's something that I genuinely 00:16:40.039 --> 00:16:43.000 cannot seem to get a hold of, cannot figure out, 00:16:43.039 --> 00:16:48.440 you, as the one requesting this of me, you get 00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:51.539 to say, okay, you get to love that person enough 00:16:51.539 --> 00:16:55.039 in that space to understand the limitations that 00:16:55.039 --> 00:16:58.639 they come with. Yeah. Or, you know, again, it 00:16:58.639 --> 00:17:00.559 was like, you know, I had seen somebody else 00:17:00.559 --> 00:17:03.279 talk about it. You know, it was like, if you're 00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:05.259 requesting somebody do something, you know, like, 00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:08.960 let's say, because I think they're, The example 00:17:08.960 --> 00:17:10.839 that I heard was they were like redoing something 00:17:10.839 --> 00:17:12.980 in their kitchen. Yeah. And it was like, you 00:17:12.980 --> 00:17:15.099 know, they were changing out the hardware on 00:17:15.099 --> 00:17:17.279 their cabinets. And it was like, you know, hey, 00:17:17.440 --> 00:17:20.380 can you go ahead and do this? Or, you know, hey, 00:17:20.500 --> 00:17:22.140 when are we going to get to it? And it was one 00:17:22.140 --> 00:17:25.079 of those things of like, you know, the one spouse 00:17:25.079 --> 00:17:26.980 was asking, when can we do this? And the other 00:17:26.980 --> 00:17:28.859 spouse was like, okay, well, I don't have time 00:17:28.859 --> 00:17:34.680 right now. How important is this to you? Is it 00:17:34.680 --> 00:17:39.599 like... I can do it at this time later, or if 00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:43.220 this is important to you now, you can do it now 00:17:43.220 --> 00:17:46.819 because I unfortunately don't have the ability 00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:49.279 to do it now. I don't have the bandwidth. Or 00:17:49.279 --> 00:17:51.900 if it's important, even though if it's, you know, 00:17:51.900 --> 00:17:55.920 quote unquote, my job, you know, if it's important 00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:00.240 to you of how it gets done, then please, by all 00:18:00.240 --> 00:18:02.779 means, I am not going to be offended if you do 00:18:02.779 --> 00:18:08.200 it. I almost used painting a room as an example, 00:18:08.259 --> 00:18:09.940 but you're really good at painting a room. So 00:18:09.940 --> 00:18:11.740 I'm like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going 00:18:11.740 --> 00:18:14.400 to touch that. Seriously, when our friend was 00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:15.859 telling us that they're painting their house 00:18:15.859 --> 00:18:18.960 right now, I wanted to go, can I come? I was 00:18:18.960 --> 00:18:21.920 like, don't do that. You're going to absolutely 00:18:21.920 --> 00:18:25.440 stretch yourself. But I was like, I'll come help 00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:29.339 you paint. I saw it on your face. I love to paint. 00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:33.039 I mean, there might be some opportunities coming 00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:36.359 up for you. It's true. It's true. But it is, 00:18:36.420 --> 00:18:38.460 you know. So it's like, you know, again, it's 00:18:38.460 --> 00:18:41.579 back to where are your strengths? Where are your 00:18:41.579 --> 00:18:45.099 spouse's strengths? And not just where are your 00:18:45.099 --> 00:18:49.400 strengths, but what is important to you? Yeah. 00:18:49.500 --> 00:18:51.900 You know, again, I know there are some things 00:18:51.900 --> 00:18:54.880 that it's like because of how I was raised, it's 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:58.019 like this is how it needs to be. And this is 00:18:58.019 --> 00:19:01.579 the quote unquote right way inside of my brain. 00:19:01.619 --> 00:19:05.440 I know. I'm mature enough and I'm smart enough 00:19:05.440 --> 00:19:08.680 and I'm wise enough to know that what's the right 00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:11.200 way in my brain does not mean that it's the right 00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:14.180 way for everybody. But I know that in my brain, 00:19:14.240 --> 00:19:17.079 that's the right way. And that's the way I have 00:19:17.079 --> 00:19:20.299 to do it. for it to be the right way in my brain. 00:19:20.380 --> 00:19:22.799 And everything that you guys just said is everything 00:19:22.799 --> 00:19:25.740 that goes across his face. Anytime that I'm doing 00:19:25.740 --> 00:19:29.039 the dishes, or I'm trying to fold something, 00:19:29.319 --> 00:19:33.480 or I'm trying to move furniture, I'm trying to, 00:19:33.500 --> 00:19:36.700 oh yeah, like even putting Gabriel's bed up higher. 00:19:39.210 --> 00:19:41.170 Or it's like if we try to make the bed together. 00:19:41.309 --> 00:19:42.950 Oh, see, we can't do that. We can't make the 00:19:42.950 --> 00:19:44.450 bed together. We can't do that. Just like we 00:19:44.450 --> 00:19:47.390 can't load the dishwasher together. No, no. But 00:19:47.390 --> 00:19:50.509 again, you have in your mind, this is the right 00:19:50.509 --> 00:19:52.849 way. In my mind, this is the right way. Baby, 00:19:52.930 --> 00:19:55.150 can I tell you something? Yeah. There is no right 00:19:55.150 --> 00:19:57.950 way in my brain. Oh, see. That is the thing. 00:19:58.230 --> 00:20:00.109 Wow. That is your trick. My brain is just weird. 00:20:00.250 --> 00:20:02.049 That is the trip of me. My brain is weird. No, 00:20:02.190 --> 00:20:04.710 I'm probably weird. Because there is no right 00:20:04.710 --> 00:20:07.210 way in my mind. But I can see where people will 00:20:07.210 --> 00:20:10.609 go. But if there was a right way in my mind for 00:20:10.609 --> 00:20:13.809 the dishes, it would constantly look the same, 00:20:13.829 --> 00:20:16.250 chaotically, but it would still look the same. 00:20:16.549 --> 00:20:19.450 Yeah. There is no right way. That's true. It's 00:20:19.450 --> 00:20:23.349 like our fridge and our pantry. This fits here. 00:20:24.049 --> 00:20:28.269 Sweet. We're going to put that there. And I literally, 00:20:28.549 --> 00:20:32.740 I can feel you. From across the room. That's 00:20:32.740 --> 00:20:34.400 why I have to leave. You have to leave. I do. 00:20:34.539 --> 00:20:37.259 I have to leave. When you load the dishwasher, 00:20:37.500 --> 00:20:39.319 I have to leave the kitchen. Because, listen, 00:20:39.400 --> 00:20:43.240 guys, beforehand, before we mastered this, we 00:20:43.240 --> 00:20:45.900 mastered the walking away. We mastered the walking 00:20:45.900 --> 00:20:48.220 away. Yes, we did. Since we've mastered this, 00:20:48.519 --> 00:20:53.619 it would be bad. I would turn and say, what? 00:20:54.119 --> 00:20:58.369 Yeah. I would just twitch. What? Do you want 00:20:58.369 --> 00:21:02.410 it here? By all means, sir, you do it. Like I 00:21:02.410 --> 00:21:04.710 would be snarky, guys. You would. It would be 00:21:04.710 --> 00:21:07.750 bad. But then you're hovering over it. You're 00:21:07.750 --> 00:21:10.509 6 '3", I'm 5 '4". Y 'all do the math. He hovers. 00:21:10.769 --> 00:21:13.930 Yeah. And like looming over me, I'm using all 00:21:13.930 --> 00:21:16.589 the words, but the words are correct. Looming 00:21:16.589 --> 00:21:21.710 over me of like, babe, the water's not going 00:21:21.710 --> 00:21:25.589 to get to that. Do you want to do this? Yeah. 00:21:25.609 --> 00:21:32.799 Okay. And so here we are. Yeah, here we are. 00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:35.220 Here we are. Here we are. And it's like... Teaching 00:21:35.220 --> 00:21:39.279 people what... Encouraging people, hey, if it's 00:21:39.279 --> 00:21:43.579 right in your brain, here's what you do. This 00:21:43.579 --> 00:21:47.299 is the right way to do it. I don't... I have 00:21:47.299 --> 00:21:49.140 never been diagnosed, guys. Never, never, never, 00:21:49.259 --> 00:21:51.440 never, never. And I do not claim this over me 00:21:51.440 --> 00:21:55.500 so much. Right. But I am a personality. That 00:21:55.500 --> 00:22:01.420 looks very, very similar to ADHD. And with the 00:22:01.420 --> 00:22:04.359 way that my brain is wired, now listen, it's 00:22:04.359 --> 00:22:08.579 not that I can't do other things in other ways. 00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:12.579 If I'm following someone else's lead, I am really 00:22:12.579 --> 00:22:16.579 good at following leads, I think. Yes? Yes. Oh, 00:22:16.579 --> 00:22:20.920 yeah. But it's like if you leave me, thank you, 00:22:20.980 --> 00:22:24.940 if you leave me to my own devices. Yeah. To myself. 00:22:25.220 --> 00:22:31.859 Yeah. I will start cleaning in a room and then 00:22:31.859 --> 00:22:34.900 I will go put something away in another room 00:22:34.900 --> 00:22:38.160 that was in said initial room. Yeah. And then 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:40.180 I'll end up going and starting to clean in that 00:22:40.180 --> 00:22:44.059 next room. And then I'll get distracted and then 00:22:44.059 --> 00:22:46.700 maybe like, okay, I need to do something a little 00:22:46.700 --> 00:22:49.660 bit more like instant. So I'll go vacuum. Or, 00:22:49.660 --> 00:22:51.880 oh, wait, hold on. Like, I need to go maybe do 00:22:51.880 --> 00:22:54.759 a load of laundry. And then it's like I get the 00:22:54.759 --> 00:22:57.440 laundry going and then it'll sit in the basket 00:22:57.440 --> 00:23:00.400 as it is sitting in the basket upstairs for a 00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:05.059 week. And then it's like, but because you see 00:23:05.059 --> 00:23:10.240 how my brain moves, because we have, that's one 00:23:10.240 --> 00:23:12.140 of the big lessons that we want to teach people 00:23:12.140 --> 00:23:16.339 is study your spouse. Like, study your spouse. 00:23:16.519 --> 00:23:19.349 Find out. what it is that they need. Because 00:23:19.349 --> 00:23:24.069 it's like, when I am working on a project, it 00:23:24.069 --> 00:23:27.750 might take a little bit longer, or it might take 00:23:27.750 --> 00:23:31.430 a second. But it's simply because my brain is 00:23:31.430 --> 00:23:33.710 going in a different way to move to the next 00:23:33.710 --> 00:23:35.569 subject, and then I gotta, oh, and then there's 00:23:35.569 --> 00:23:39.430 a squirrel, and then it's... Mom. Mom. Mom, see, 00:23:39.509 --> 00:23:42.150 and then you throw that factor into it. Or the 00:23:42.150 --> 00:23:45.210 dog who's biting her nails. Yeah. And I'm trying 00:23:45.210 --> 00:23:48.049 so desperately to stay engaged with you right 00:23:48.049 --> 00:23:51.869 now. And it's like where you are like, let's 00:23:51.869 --> 00:23:56.089 get this. I always go back to when you and I 00:23:56.089 --> 00:23:59.049 were cleaning together. Oh, yeah. When we would 00:23:59.049 --> 00:24:01.509 do house cleaning. Yeah. And I had my own business. 00:24:01.789 --> 00:24:04.890 Yep. And at the beginning of our marriage, actually 00:24:04.890 --> 00:24:06.710 while we were dating, but at the beginning of 00:24:06.710 --> 00:24:09.170 our marriage. I was cleaning houses and you would 00:24:09.170 --> 00:24:12.369 come with me. Yeah. Mostly because right after 00:24:12.369 --> 00:24:14.849 we got married, I was out of school and I had 00:24:14.849 --> 00:24:17.069 no job. You had no job. Yeah. And so you would 00:24:17.069 --> 00:24:20.289 come with me. Yeah. And you would clean what? 00:24:20.549 --> 00:24:22.450 I would clean the kitchen. The whole kitchen. 00:24:22.630 --> 00:24:25.369 Yep. It would be sparkling. It would be amazing. 00:24:25.650 --> 00:24:27.549 I'm really good at cleaning kitchens. I would 00:24:27.549 --> 00:24:29.450 clean what, baby? The whole house. The whole 00:24:29.450 --> 00:24:37.799 house. A, you're a lot better at cleaning than 00:24:37.799 --> 00:24:41.420 I am. But because, thank you, babe. But because 00:24:41.420 --> 00:24:45.180 I believe the reason why my, because my brain 00:24:45.180 --> 00:24:48.700 is fueled in the way that it is. Yeah. I am able 00:24:48.700 --> 00:24:54.480 to multitask on a level. Yeah. That kind of supersedes 00:24:54.480 --> 00:24:57.960 other spaces. And it's like when you learn your 00:24:57.960 --> 00:25:00.359 spouse, I'm not going to, that sounded kind of 00:25:00.359 --> 00:25:02.240 haughty. I didn't mean it that way, but it just. 00:25:03.149 --> 00:25:06.029 I'm a multitasker. Yeah. Like on a constant. 00:25:06.529 --> 00:25:09.049 And so, because like once we get done here, I'm 00:25:09.049 --> 00:25:10.250 going to get on the treadmill. I'm going to be 00:25:10.250 --> 00:25:11.930 carrying some weights. I'll be listening to maybe 00:25:11.930 --> 00:25:14.630 something. Yeah. And then like, and you're going 00:25:14.630 --> 00:25:17.369 to go game. Yeah. With Sebastian. Yeah. And it's 00:25:17.369 --> 00:25:21.650 like, it's figuring out what the other person. 00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:26.039 figuring out how the other person thinks, understanding 00:25:26.039 --> 00:25:30.200 that your thinking can shift and can grow and 00:25:30.200 --> 00:25:37.099 can change, that you can compromise, that you 00:25:37.099 --> 00:25:44.180 can... It's like, I keep saying learn, but it's 00:25:44.180 --> 00:25:50.480 like, it's... It's knowing the limitations. Yeah. 00:25:50.539 --> 00:25:53.180 And you said the strengths, but I also want to 00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:55.619 say it's important to know each other's weaknesses 00:25:55.619 --> 00:25:58.480 too. It is. Because when you step into those 00:25:58.480 --> 00:26:02.619 places of weakness, you have a tendency. It's 00:26:02.619 --> 00:26:04.160 not that you can't grow in those weaknesses. 00:26:04.180 --> 00:26:06.960 I think what it does is it helps you be more 00:26:06.960 --> 00:26:11.460 gracious. Yeah. While they're growing. And it's 00:26:11.460 --> 00:26:16.589 also recognizing. Because I like the learning 00:26:16.589 --> 00:26:18.950 that you say, learn your spouse, but I think 00:26:18.950 --> 00:26:23.329 it's also the recognizing. Recognizing that this 00:26:23.329 --> 00:26:26.150 is how my spouse behaves. This is how my spouse 00:26:26.150 --> 00:26:30.710 acts and responds and operates. And it's like, 00:26:30.789 --> 00:26:36.009 again, a lot of the stuff you figure out while 00:26:36.009 --> 00:26:37.990 you're dating, while you're courting, while you're 00:26:37.990 --> 00:26:42.349 engaged, stuff like that. But there is some... 00:26:42.940 --> 00:26:45.019 curveballs that come after you get married and 00:26:45.019 --> 00:26:47.779 all of a sudden when you are sharing a home and 00:26:47.779 --> 00:26:50.480 you're living together every day and going to 00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:53.480 bed together every day it's like oh this is oh 00:26:53.480 --> 00:26:56.779 this is this is how you do that okay cool um 00:26:56.779 --> 00:27:00.559 you know i mean even some people you know their 00:27:00.559 --> 00:27:02.420 morning routines or their nighttime routines 00:27:02.420 --> 00:27:06.339 it's like that's wow that's that's really set 00:27:06.339 --> 00:27:09.769 you have to do that okay cool I have to shower. 00:27:09.910 --> 00:27:12.670 You do. Yeah. And, you know, again, and it's 00:27:12.670 --> 00:27:17.089 like there was something I noticed about you 00:27:17.089 --> 00:27:19.390 and I, and I was thinking about something. You 00:27:19.390 --> 00:27:21.029 know, it was one of those things. It was like, 00:27:21.069 --> 00:27:23.789 you know, how you do your morning routine versus 00:27:23.789 --> 00:27:25.970 how I do my morning routine. And it was one of 00:27:25.970 --> 00:27:29.710 those things. It was like in the morning, like 00:27:29.710 --> 00:27:33.069 as soon as you get up, like the first thing you 00:27:33.069 --> 00:27:36.430 do is brush your teeth. Yeah. Like that's the 00:27:36.430 --> 00:27:38.289 first thing, you know, before you do anything 00:27:38.289 --> 00:27:40.650 else. You might take your vitamins first thing 00:27:40.650 --> 00:27:42.470 in the morning, but like the first thing. I go 00:27:42.470 --> 00:27:44.609 pee. Yeah. I take my vitamins. Yeah. And then 00:27:44.609 --> 00:27:47.569 I brush my teeth. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas me, my 00:27:47.569 --> 00:27:53.009 morning routine, I have to be dressed. Yes. And 00:27:53.009 --> 00:27:55.210 then I brush my teeth. Like my brushing teeth 00:27:55.210 --> 00:27:56.990 is like almost the last thing I do. It's the 00:27:56.990 --> 00:27:59.210 icing on your cake. Yeah. Yes. It's like the 00:27:59.210 --> 00:28:02.349 last thing I do is I brush my teeth, then I comb 00:28:02.349 --> 00:28:05.569 my beard. Yeah. And then I'm ready to go. Because 00:28:05.569 --> 00:28:07.250 when I brush my teeth, do you know what happens? 00:28:07.470 --> 00:28:10.410 What? Something in my brain triggers. Yeah. And 00:28:10.410 --> 00:28:14.029 then I come alive. Okay. Like, which is funny 00:28:14.029 --> 00:28:17.690 because, like, my little herbal tea, like, vitamins, 00:28:17.829 --> 00:28:20.430 like, help, like, just kind of give me that, 00:28:20.490 --> 00:28:23.869 like, good morning. And a shot of caffeine or 00:28:23.869 --> 00:28:28.089 whatever it is. But it's, like, something about 00:28:28.089 --> 00:28:33.519 getting the junk of the night off of me. So I 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:36.859 can be refreshed and ready and set for the day. 00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:41.700 And so, um, it's funny. I want to say one of 00:28:41.700 --> 00:28:44.700 our friends, Christy Carmen, um, she does a workout 00:28:44.700 --> 00:28:47.660 program and it's, she does hers first thing in 00:28:47.660 --> 00:28:51.599 the morning. She said, um, I, instead of like 00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:53.480 whenever they get up and it's like stupid early, 00:28:53.680 --> 00:28:57.799 she was, when she brushes her teeth. she works 00:28:57.799 --> 00:29:00.880 out harder and more effective. Interesting. Isn't 00:29:00.880 --> 00:29:02.779 that interesting? So there's like, I don't know 00:29:02.779 --> 00:29:04.000 if there's science behind any of this. I mean, 00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:06.700 there might be. But something about getting the 00:29:06.700 --> 00:29:11.019 gunk and feeling fresh kind of energizes you 00:29:11.019 --> 00:29:13.960 in a space. Yeah. And see, and I was thinking 00:29:13.960 --> 00:29:16.299 about that. I'm like, why is it that I like, 00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:19.720 you know, again, this is the first time we've 00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:21.900 really talked about it because you're like, wow, 00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:23.500 this was on your brain? I'm like, yeah, this 00:29:23.500 --> 00:29:25.140 was on my brain. This is what happens. Welcome 00:29:25.140 --> 00:29:27.779 to my brain. But it was like, I was, I was like, 00:29:27.859 --> 00:29:29.539 oh, that's really cool. It's like, but why is 00:29:29.539 --> 00:29:32.960 it that I wait? And then I think I realized it, 00:29:33.019 --> 00:29:35.259 you know, because again, it's not a big deal, 00:29:35.259 --> 00:29:38.519 but like growing up, my sister and I shared a 00:29:38.519 --> 00:29:42.579 bathroom. So it was like, she would take longer 00:29:42.579 --> 00:29:45.480 to get ready. And so it was like, for the most 00:29:45.480 --> 00:29:47.859 part, it was me. It's like, okay, well, I got 00:29:47.859 --> 00:29:51.420 to get ready for school. I'm in my room. So get 00:29:51.420 --> 00:29:54.339 fully dressed and get everything. And then it 00:29:54.339 --> 00:29:56.119 was like, okay, fine. Before we walk out the 00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:58.380 door, it's like, oh, I now get to go in the bathroom 00:29:58.380 --> 00:30:02.259 and brush my teeth. Okay. So I think, I think 00:30:02.259 --> 00:30:04.180 that's what it was. And that's just something 00:30:04.180 --> 00:30:07.140 that's blood over. Interesting. Cause we share 00:30:07.140 --> 00:30:09.140 a bathroom and we both have our own sinks and 00:30:09.140 --> 00:30:12.059 we have our own space. So interesting. But yeah, 00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:14.480 I think that's the only thing I can really think 00:30:14.480 --> 00:30:19.589 of as to why it happens that way. I love that. 00:30:19.789 --> 00:30:23.410 But yeah, that's. Yeah, I love that. But yeah, 00:30:23.450 --> 00:30:26.730 just randomness. Again, just randomness. It's 00:30:26.730 --> 00:30:30.309 just it's interesting to see the different patterns 00:30:30.309 --> 00:30:32.910 because it is it's like you you are that person. 00:30:32.930 --> 00:30:35.190 And then because immediately when you were like, 00:30:35.269 --> 00:30:37.269 like, I immediately get dressed and I'm like, 00:30:37.309 --> 00:30:40.190 OK, hearing your explanation, I like. And then 00:30:40.190 --> 00:30:42.309 my other the explanation that was playing in 00:30:42.309 --> 00:30:45.670 my head is because you like to be prepared. You 00:30:45.670 --> 00:30:48.130 like to be prepared. If something were to happen, 00:30:48.269 --> 00:30:52.970 you prepare. And where I, once I brush my teeth, 00:30:53.130 --> 00:30:56.009 then where do I go, babe? I usually make my way 00:30:56.009 --> 00:30:59.829 out into the kitchen. I go feed the fish, say 00:30:59.829 --> 00:31:03.369 good morning to Pez. I open up all the blinds 00:31:03.369 --> 00:31:06.809 in the living room to let the sunshine to come 00:31:06.809 --> 00:31:09.609 in to get everybody ready for the day. Then I 00:31:09.609 --> 00:31:11.869 make my way up to that cute little guy of ours. 00:31:12.049 --> 00:31:15.160 Our girl is usually... already up or moving or 00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:20.279 starting to stir. And then get his clothes out, 00:31:20.339 --> 00:31:23.440 do all his stuff, make my way back down, make 00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:26.900 his breakfast, make their lunches, and then I 00:31:26.900 --> 00:31:30.400 get to go. But it's like, as you get prepared 00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:32.880 to say, I'm going to get prepared just in case 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:37.700 something, whatever, you're working on the kitchen 00:31:37.700 --> 00:31:40.099 while I am working on the rest of the house. 00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:46.339 That's crazy. That's good. Yeah, it is. That's 00:31:46.339 --> 00:31:48.880 good. And then we had our revelation today as 00:31:48.880 --> 00:31:51.859 we're driving. Yeah. And we see where the girl 00:31:51.859 --> 00:31:54.740 about walked into the road if it wasn't for the 00:31:54.740 --> 00:31:57.000 husband or boyfriend or whoever. And you were 00:31:57.000 --> 00:32:01.380 laughing and you said, it's because, you know, 00:32:01.519 --> 00:32:04.859 like. Oh, I'm with my man. I'm with my man. I 00:32:04.859 --> 00:32:06.619 can shut off my brain. I don't need to think. 00:32:06.940 --> 00:32:09.339 And because I did that to you in the grocery 00:32:09.339 --> 00:32:11.299 store. You did. Literally yesterday. I mean, 00:32:11.299 --> 00:32:13.660 you called yourself out. I did. I just was like, 00:32:13.700 --> 00:32:16.380 just do, do, do, do, do. I'm literally like a 00:32:16.380 --> 00:32:18.299 little puppy just walking behind you. Do, do, 00:32:18.359 --> 00:32:20.859 do, do, do, do, do. Not a care in the world. 00:32:21.420 --> 00:32:24.059 Not even focusing. Like, you know how you like 00:32:24.059 --> 00:32:25.980 look around, you see things, but you don't see 00:32:25.980 --> 00:32:27.519 things because you're just like, do, do, do, 00:32:27.519 --> 00:32:29.599 do. And the store was packed. It was so packed. 00:32:29.680 --> 00:32:31.980 And maybe that's why I wasn't focusing because 00:32:31.980 --> 00:32:35.440 I was not trying to get like anxious driven. 00:32:35.819 --> 00:32:38.500 But it was like, do, do, do, do, do. Fine, fine, 00:32:38.539 --> 00:32:40.519 fine. And then I turned and looked at you and 00:32:40.519 --> 00:32:43.549 I said, ah. babe listen i totally forgot what 00:32:43.549 --> 00:32:45.450 our list was i don't even remember why we're 00:32:45.450 --> 00:32:48.789 here i'm with you and you get to drive this ship 00:32:48.789 --> 00:32:51.950 and you're like okay and then just we're walking 00:32:51.950 --> 00:32:53.789 through we got the stuff that we needed for our 00:32:53.789 --> 00:32:55.930 tacos because that was a request from our children 00:32:55.930 --> 00:32:58.829 and then we went home yep and then i was like 00:32:58.829 --> 00:33:01.869 but then today i said i think i figured it out 00:33:01.869 --> 00:33:05.349 babe and it's again these are generalizations 00:33:05.349 --> 00:33:09.910 these are not absolutes that when women are out 00:33:09.910 --> 00:33:13.019 with men Out in public, we have a tendency to 00:33:13.019 --> 00:33:15.640 be a little bit more lax just simply because 00:33:15.640 --> 00:33:18.920 we do feel safe with you. You are on high alert. 00:33:19.019 --> 00:33:21.019 You are looking around. You're making sure that 00:33:21.019 --> 00:33:23.660 everybody is safe. But the moment that you hit 00:33:23.660 --> 00:33:28.440 house and you're home. then you get to shut down 00:33:28.440 --> 00:33:31.799 and then we get to take over. And we get to provide 00:33:31.799 --> 00:33:34.819 a space that is safe for you. And we get to say 00:33:34.819 --> 00:33:37.819 this is, hi, honey, here's dinner. Hi, honey, 00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:40.180 you get to go game now. Hi, honey, blah, blah, 00:33:40.299 --> 00:33:42.359 blah. Not that you're getting permission, but 00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:46.180 just that. You now have permission to kind of 00:33:46.180 --> 00:33:49.200 shut off your brain. You get to just be. This 00:33:49.200 --> 00:33:53.019 gets to be your place where you get to come and 00:33:53.019 --> 00:33:58.910 rest. Yeah, and I did. I liked that. I really 00:33:58.910 --> 00:34:03.950 liked how you did... You're like, this is what 00:34:03.950 --> 00:34:05.750 it is. It's like outside the home, it's this. 00:34:05.890 --> 00:34:10.349 Inside the home, it's... Yeah. Yeah. And it's 00:34:10.349 --> 00:34:12.590 not that you're not... It's not that you disengage. 00:34:12.750 --> 00:34:17.289 Right. Because I think too many times... I don't 00:34:17.289 --> 00:34:19.949 want to say men in general, but just unfortunately 00:34:19.949 --> 00:34:22.840 that... A majority of the time it happens to 00:34:22.840 --> 00:34:25.300 men. It does because you guys are usually the 00:34:25.300 --> 00:34:27.780 ones that are outside the house. And unfortunately, 00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:30.900 when you do come home, that peace that you feel 00:34:30.900 --> 00:34:35.260 can almost disengage you. Like you go on to autopilot. 00:34:35.280 --> 00:34:37.159 I'm just going to sit here with my lazy boy and 00:34:37.159 --> 00:34:40.059 I'm just going to zone and watch TV and do nothing. 00:34:40.480 --> 00:34:44.280 Where the wife is like, hi, the house is on fire. 00:34:44.619 --> 00:34:48.000 I really need you to re -engage, activate. I 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:52.460 need you to, like, I need you. Johnny is having 00:34:52.460 --> 00:34:55.019 a problem. Yeah. Gabriel is having a crisis. 00:34:55.219 --> 00:34:57.980 Yeah. Like something's going on. I need you to 00:34:57.980 --> 00:35:00.500 reengage. Yeah. It was almost, it's almost like 00:35:00.500 --> 00:35:04.579 I heard, I heard about a study that they did 00:35:04.579 --> 00:35:08.300 once about fathers and mothers. Yeah. And that 00:35:08.300 --> 00:35:11.199 kind of goes along with this. And they were looking 00:35:11.199 --> 00:35:14.159 at, they were doing a study of like new parents. 00:35:14.719 --> 00:35:18.000 And what they did was they, when, when the parents 00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.289 were sleeping, They played a noise of like a 00:35:21.289 --> 00:35:24.769 child crying or something, you know, like that. 00:35:24.889 --> 00:35:27.650 And they noticed a vast majority of the time 00:35:27.650 --> 00:35:31.710 the mother would wake up. The father would continue 00:35:31.710 --> 00:35:36.670 sleeping. And they did that like almost every 00:35:36.670 --> 00:35:38.849 time. That's what it was. The vast majority of 00:35:38.849 --> 00:35:40.909 the time, mother woke up, check on the baby, 00:35:41.070 --> 00:35:44.349 father kept passed out. No idea what was going 00:35:44.349 --> 00:35:48.559 on. But when they did that again. And instead 00:35:48.559 --> 00:35:50.940 of a baby crying, it was a noise outside the 00:35:50.940 --> 00:35:53.960 house. Yeah. A vast majority of the time, it 00:35:53.960 --> 00:35:57.340 was the dad that woke up and the mom remained 00:35:57.340 --> 00:36:00.340 sleeping and passed out and had no idea. How 00:36:00.340 --> 00:36:03.699 beautiful is that? Yeah. Genuinely. Yeah. Like 00:36:03.699 --> 00:36:09.280 just to see the natural dynamic that God has 00:36:09.280 --> 00:36:13.440 placed in us as men and women. Yeah. And so we 00:36:13.440 --> 00:36:18.179 need to be. aware of those things and and and 00:36:18.179 --> 00:36:21.900 also be aware of which which position of those 00:36:21.900 --> 00:36:25.500 do you hold again majority men majority women 00:36:25.500 --> 00:36:28.219 yes there's natural things that we do have but 00:36:28.219 --> 00:36:33.079 sometimes we've said it before it's you're You 00:36:33.079 --> 00:36:35.179 may not be good at finances. I might be good 00:36:35.179 --> 00:36:39.320 at finances. I might be the one that gets to 00:36:39.320 --> 00:36:41.199 do the mechanics and you're really good at the 00:36:41.199 --> 00:36:45.940 laundry. We cannot put certain things on certain 00:36:45.940 --> 00:36:48.340 people just based off of their gender. We have 00:36:48.340 --> 00:36:52.519 to say, hey, what is it you gravitate to? What 00:36:52.519 --> 00:36:55.960 is your talent? And celebrate those things as 00:36:55.960 --> 00:37:00.019 opposed to insisting that somebody tries to fit 00:37:00.019 --> 00:37:03.679 into a box that they... that they were not designed 00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:08.840 to be in. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. So do you want 00:37:08.840 --> 00:37:11.179 to tell everybody the name of our website, and 00:37:11.179 --> 00:37:13.179 then we're going to go away? I do, because I 00:37:13.179 --> 00:37:14.780 was. I was like, we didn't really say that. We're 00:37:14.780 --> 00:37:17.159 going to have to close with that. Yep. So our 00:37:17.159 --> 00:37:21.320 website, which is live, again, it's about 85%, 00:37:21.320 --> 00:37:23.659 90 % complete. So if you see something that's 00:37:23.659 --> 00:37:26.820 weird, you can either let us know, or you can 00:37:26.820 --> 00:37:28.960 just know that it's going to get fixed really 00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:32.000 soon. Yes. Within the next... couple few days 00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:40.519 so yeah firm footing dot coach because if we 00:37:40.519 --> 00:37:43.739 have or haven't told you the name of our relationship 00:37:43.739 --> 00:37:48.579 coaching is firm footing yep so that's that's 00:37:48.579 --> 00:37:50.639 the name we chose that's what we're rocking with 00:37:50.639 --> 00:37:56.579 because again we we believe that communication 00:37:56.579 --> 00:38:00.139 and and understanding and and a lot of what we 00:38:01.190 --> 00:38:05.550 talk about and believe in is really good for 00:38:05.550 --> 00:38:09.250 a good, solid, firm foundation for marriages, 00:38:09.389 --> 00:38:12.269 for relationships. And so we wanted to do that 00:38:12.269 --> 00:38:16.210 for our relationship coaching business, but then 00:38:16.210 --> 00:38:20.409 also our website. So it's firmfooting .coach. 00:38:20.809 --> 00:38:24.469 We did get the .coach because we are going on 00:38:24.469 --> 00:38:30.269 that in that vein. But it's going to have a section 00:38:30.269 --> 00:38:31.989 there for merch. It's going to have a section 00:38:31.989 --> 00:38:34.829 there talking about our coaching business. If 00:38:34.829 --> 00:38:36.809 we want to do small groups, stuff like that. 00:38:38.150 --> 00:38:41.969 It's going to have connection links and all there 00:38:41.969 --> 00:38:47.070 for our podcasts. So, yeah. But, yeah, it's out 00:38:47.070 --> 00:38:50.369 there. It's live. Like I said, it's almost done. 00:38:50.469 --> 00:38:52.469 If you see some errors, just either let us know 00:38:52.469 --> 00:38:56.059 or be patient. But yeah, we're doing it. We're 00:38:56.059 --> 00:38:59.119 moving forward. We're doing it. Yeah. And there's 00:38:59.119 --> 00:39:02.739 a page that you can fill out if you and your 00:39:02.739 --> 00:39:06.599 spouse want to look into relationship coaching. 00:39:06.860 --> 00:39:11.219 We are going to be setting up times where we 00:39:11.219 --> 00:39:14.360 can give somebody a free consultation to see 00:39:14.360 --> 00:39:17.860 if we're a fit for you. And you for us because 00:39:17.860 --> 00:39:20.579 it's not just us for you, but we also need to 00:39:20.579 --> 00:39:22.280 know that we have the confidence to where we 00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:24.920 can give the tools to you in the capacity that 00:39:24.920 --> 00:39:26.639 you need them because we definitely don't want 00:39:26.639 --> 00:39:29.019 to try to give you something if we don't believe 00:39:29.019 --> 00:39:34.659 that we're the right people. And then also, I 00:39:34.659 --> 00:39:40.019 do want to say with firmfooting .coach, We have 00:39:40.019 --> 00:39:42.619 picked up a slogan and our slogan actually came 00:39:42.619 --> 00:39:45.380 off of a sticky note from our daughter that she 00:39:45.380 --> 00:39:48.340 picked up. Yeah. And it just simply says, don't 00:39:48.340 --> 00:39:50.800 trip on what's behind you. And that is one of 00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:52.539 the main reasons why we're like firm footing 00:39:52.539 --> 00:39:56.730 because too many times we're having this. looking 00:39:56.730 --> 00:39:59.750 in our rearview mirror kind of mentality as opposed 00:39:59.750 --> 00:40:02.570 to looking forward on the things that are ahead. 00:40:02.849 --> 00:40:07.190 So know that if that is something that you're 00:40:07.190 --> 00:40:09.090 wanting, something that you're looking towards, 00:40:09.389 --> 00:40:12.530 that will always be one of our number one goals. 00:40:12.610 --> 00:40:14.849 It's not trying to fix what was behind per se, 00:40:14.869 --> 00:40:18.429 but it's helping you obtain the tools that can 00:40:18.429 --> 00:40:20.929 help you be successful in the future. And isn't 00:40:20.929 --> 00:40:22.869 there a Bible verse about that? Isn't there a 00:40:22.869 --> 00:40:25.050 scripture out there about once you put your hand 00:40:25.050 --> 00:40:27.190 to the plow, don't look back or something? Do 00:40:27.190 --> 00:40:30.550 not look back. Yeah, don't look back. Learn from 00:40:30.550 --> 00:40:33.489 the mistakes. Learn from the situations. Learn 00:40:33.489 --> 00:40:36.630 from the things. We get that. But let's start 00:40:36.630 --> 00:40:38.510 equipping each other with the tools to where 00:40:38.510 --> 00:40:41.010 we're not making the same mistakes over and over 00:40:41.010 --> 00:40:43.570 again and so we can grow and then be better. 00:40:43.690 --> 00:40:46.920 Yeah. So that is where we are. And then if you 00:40:46.920 --> 00:40:50.760 are in the KC area, one more time, 9900 View 00:40:50.760 --> 00:40:53.860 High Drive starting Tuesday, this coming Tuesday, 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:58.239 April 8th at 630. The very latest we're going 00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:00.340 to try to get everybody out of there is by 8. 00:41:00.440 --> 00:41:02.159 Everybody will be walking out of the building 00:41:02.159 --> 00:41:07.139 by 8 o 'clock. And we will be doing a four -week 00:41:07.139 --> 00:41:11.619 marriage thing basically called Marriage Supplements. 00:41:12.400 --> 00:41:14.980 And a lot of what you guys get to hear here is 00:41:14.980 --> 00:41:16.980 what we are going to be sharing there, but we're 00:41:16.980 --> 00:41:19.059 going to be doing it on more of a one -on -one 00:41:19.059 --> 00:41:21.320 personal basis. Or small group basis. Small group 00:41:21.320 --> 00:41:24.579 basis, which will be really nice. Yes. I am really 00:41:24.579 --> 00:41:27.719 looking forward to this time. Yeah. So if you 00:41:27.719 --> 00:41:29.719 guys don't catch us this time, know that we probably 00:41:29.719 --> 00:41:32.280 will be coming back around. But if you are a 00:41:32.280 --> 00:41:34.579 church or if you are an organization that is 00:41:34.579 --> 00:41:37.059 looking for somebody to come out and speak to 00:41:37.059 --> 00:41:40.090 your group. We are also available to those kind 00:41:40.090 --> 00:41:44.130 of things, too. Yes, we are. So, guys, have the 00:41:44.130 --> 00:41:45.989 best week. Enjoy the journey.