Hello and welcome back to another episode of
Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na. Hey
babe. Hi babe. How's it going? You know, it's
good. It's good. It is good. It's really, really
good. I'm doing my best not to be completely
stressed. I know. I know. And I know we were
just talking about that. But it's like, you know
what? Let's tell those wonderful folks at home
that I'm stressed. Because we missed last week.
We missed last week. And that's okay. It is okay.
Because we've been busy. Yes. And do you want
to tell them what we've been busy with? We have
finally built a website. Yes. Yes. It initially
was built through Canva. Yes. Predominantly by
me. Yes. And then you tried to lovingly upload
it to a host site. Yes. To carry said website
and it wouldn't take it. No. It was not something
we could just copy paste or very simply drag
and drop. And so some of it was involving, yeah,
it's a work in progress. It creates stress. Listen,
guys, I am going to tell it like it is. I already
told one of our sweet, sweet friends of ours.
Listen, if you want to see how solid your marriage
is. Try to sit there and build a website together.
You had to talk me off the ledge. I did. You
were about to break stuff. A lot of stuff. You
were about to destroy my computer. You know,
I'm just saying. It was that whole... I have
wasted all this time. I've wasted all this energy.
What have I been doing for the last however many
weeks to build this thing and do all the things?
Oh, I didn't turn off my phone. Oh, no, you didn't.
And how do I do this? Right. So that stuff. So
I literally had to get up out of the chair and
walk away for a second. And me and Jesus, we
had to work it out because. I think that's what
it was because it's like I'm texting literally
with my oldest brother, with Bobby, and listen,
guys, get yourself somebody that cheers loudly
for you because between Luke going, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, babe, I'm sorry. We can figure this
out. We got it. We're going to figure this out.
Which light do you want to start building? you
know, kind of thing. And I wasn't that aggressive,
but I, I was very, I saw it on your face. You
were, um, to the point where I even looked at
you and I said, I promise I'm not mad at you.
I'm not yelling at you. Even though I'm raising
my voice right now, it's not, it's not, ah, it's
not at you. Um, I, I'm grateful because like,
And he's cheering loudly for us. He's so excited
about everything that we have accomplished so
far. And even today, you know, we're sending
him the website address and all the things and
him shooting back. You know, we're getting ready.
You and I are getting ready for church. Yeah.
And then he just sends that sweet text that just
says, I just want to tell you how proud I am
of you. Yeah. And it's like. thanks big brother
so have people strategically yes that will tell
you the truth yeah that will also yell louder
than the naysayers or clap louder than the silence
and it's like because that is everything it is
that's kind of everything and as much as you
and i are so good at encouraging each other When
you and I are in the same space, you're doing
your best to learn. You now are learning a completely
different web design. Because it was frustrating
for me. Because it's not... The website I was
using to build our website was not something
that is just like, oh, yeah, just click and drag
and click and add. And you can quickly add this
and readjust this real quickly. And I'm like,
yeah, that's not good. Like you cussed probably
or tried to or almost did a couple of times.
But I think what we did is we walked away. And
now that we can look at this. And I'm standing
back and I'm like, all right, Father, nothing
is ever wasted. Number one, we're now honing
into skills that we do need, that we get to grow,
that we get to polish. We also got to see a web
design to where we're standing back and going.
Okay, well, that's really actually pretty cool.
Yeah. Not that our first one wasn't good. Right.
But there is something a little bit extra. Yeah.
It's very polished, very professional. Yeah.
Still a couple things. I'd say it's probably
85 % to 90%. So we've already got it launched.
Yeah, it's live. So when you guys go. Live, live.
and peruse through the website, just know that
you might hit a couple of places where you go,
well, this doesn't quite look right, or maybe
it looks like it's... It's using filler words.
Or it looks like it's stock stuff. Just know
that we are still in the process, and there are
only so many hours in a day, and we have children.
We have jobs. We have lives. We have family.
We have each other that we need to pour into.
And so that was why we missed last week. It gets
to be a lot, but it's a good a lot because it's
like... I feel like we're seeing the light at
the end of the tunnel. I think so, yeah. On this
one. As far as this project, yes. As far as this
project goes. Because... Because ultimately,
we've talked that this is just the very beginning
of this journey. It is. Yeah. It is. But I think...
I think that that's... I think the reason why
you and I are staying, for the most part, fairly
peaceful through it all is because we're like,
Father, we're going to do it the way that you
tell us to do it. Yeah. We're going to do this
best in the timing that you allow us. He never
gives us really a time frame. No. There's a...
Hey, you should do this. Yeah. There was going
to be a word I was going to use. Oh, sorry. It's
okay. A prodding? Yeah. I was about to say, not
quite an urgency. Yeah, not quite an urgency,
but enough of a prodding. Yeah. It's like...
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. I need you to do this.
Right? And he's... Man. You know, when you walk
this out with God, it just... It really is a
lot easier than what... what it seems. True.
Yeah. You know, I get that scripture where it
says, my yoke is easy. My burden is light. Yeah.
If we walk with him and he's like, I have a task
that we, we, we, we need to accomplish. I'm not
going to leave you. I'm right here with you.
I'm plowing along with you and I'm going to share
with you in this. To where it's not just me doing
all of it, but you get to do your part and get
to grow in a space. And I think that that's what's
so beautiful about walking this progress with,
you know, the coaching and then the books and
the podcast and just life. And it literally does,
it literally bleeds into every space of our lives.
Standing back, even teaching our children, hey.
Just take a deep breath. Take a deep breath.
It's going to be okay. There is no time frame
here. If God says do it, you do it. Don't let
the pressures of this world be the determining
factor on when and when you don't or if you do
or if you don't. It's one step at a time, trusting
the process, enjoying the journey. All of it.
It bleeds into our marriages. Life becomes a
lot more peaceful. It does. That's the second
or third time you've said that. We had talked
about some of the frustration and some of the...
that we went through with this. It was something
that you and I talked about the other day. When
I was at work and walking sparks, it was like,
because you were talking about joy. And then
it made me think of peace. Yeah. You know, because
peace doesn't necessarily mean the absence of
conflict. Correct. You know, and I think a lot
of people need to know that and remember that.
Yeah. Because your home can be full of peace.
Yeah. Even though there is sometimes conflict.
Yeah. Or even a little bit of chaos. Right. Yeah.
Because it's that comfort. It's that stability.
It's that security. It's that knowing that even
if there's conflict, we're not going anywhere.
Right. And it's just like when we were talking
about joy. Joy is not happiness. You can have
joy even if you're sad. Right. Again, it's back
to that. How filled are you with the Holy Spirit?
Or how are you filled with the Holy Spirit? That
helps determine your peace. That helps determine
your joy. And so even if you are having a conflict,
even if you are both tearing your hair out through
frustration of trying to build a website or trying
to build furniture from Ikea, it's like... That
happens. Life happens. But again, it's where
is your source and where are you leaning into
when that happens? Because again, we are going
to have disagreements. There will be frustration.
There will be struggles. There are going to be
obstacles. Again, we have an enemy that's out
to trip us up, to take us out. take our eyes
off of each other take our eyes off of god right
so it's like okay we know the struggles and persecution
and all this stuff is going to happen right what
do we do in the meantime or what do we do when
it comes right right you know because again it's
you know i know i love to say you know again
it says you know when you know when the struggles
come when the persecution comes you know no no
weapon formed against you not Oh, if a weapon
ever gets formed, it's like, no, it's been formed.
Yeah. They are being formed. Yeah. Yeah. You
know, so it's like there are weapons. There are
struggles. There is persecution. What are we
going to do about it? That's it. That's it. Because
there's like you keep saying it's like standing
in a space of where's your foundation? Yeah.
What is your foundation like? Because I know
a lot of times when we do some of the relationship
coaching. Um, you know, like you and I will look
at the spouses and say, do you still want to
be married to this person? Yeah. Do you still
want to be here? Do you love them? Are you willing
to fight for them? It's funny because sometimes
it's like, oh, of course. Of course they do.
Of course they're going to say yes. Actually,
not necessarily. Not necessarily. We've had people
that paused and I'm thinking, holy crap, we're
in trouble. Do you want to be married? And you
want to go, no, the answer is yes. The answer
is yes. Hello, the answer is yes. But it's...
I explained it to our beautiful brown -eyed girl
one day, and I just looked at her and I said,
listen to me. You're going to be stepping into
this arena one day. You're going to be married.
You're going to have conflict. You're going to
have arguments. You're going to have disagreements.
There's going to be things that you will not
see eye to eye on. You just won't because you're
not the same person. You're going to wake up
and be like, I do not like you. I do not like
you. Again, I love that my brother and sister
-in -law were so, so candid. Yeah, there was
a whole year. Whole year? 365 days. That is a
lot of effort to say, I don't like you, but I'm
not leaving. I have chosen to be in this space
with you. I have chosen to grow in this space
and learn in this space with you. And when we
take the time to say, I choose you. I choose
you and I will never change my mind. I may not
like you today. May not like this moment. May
not like how you responded to that. But I'm going
to choose you because you're mine. And you're
going to know that I'm on your side. I'm on your
team. You were a bonehead. Did not like that.
Let's communicate that. Let's say this in a way.
Like even learning how to say it in a way. That
is more encouraging as opposed to discouraging.
Yeah. That you're not tearing your spouse down
telling them that they're an idiot or that whatever.
Yeah. It's the learning how to speak truth in
love and even sometimes just being okay in the
silence. Yeah. And I think also speaking the
truth. Not just in love, but also speaking truth
in the hard. In the hard. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Because
again, it's... I love you enough to tell you
the hard truth. Right. Yes. You know, it's like,
I love you. This is really bothering me. Yeah.
I love you. It upsets me when you say this, do
this, act like this. Right. You know? And so
it's like, oh no, I can't ever say that to my
spouse. I love them. It's like... then tell them
what's wrong yeah yeah if this genuinely bothers
you you know again we had similar conversation
i mean something similar to this kind of brought
up earlier when we were talking with some friends
you know and the our one of our favorite subjects
of you know laundry came up again yes if this
upsets you the way i fold your shirts then you
do then then you please do it yeah or please
say something yeah yeah you know or or teach
me yeah i genuinely cannot learn this if i genuinely
stop honey sparks is trying to kiss me yes um
i just want to let our listeners know what was
happening you're distracting me um i forgot what
i was going to say talking about learning yeah
Teach me. And if it's something that I genuinely
cannot seem to get a hold of, cannot figure out,
you, as the one requesting this of me, you get
to say, okay, you get to love that person enough
in that space to understand the limitations that
they come with. Yeah. Or, you know, again, it
was like, you know, I had seen somebody else
talk about it. You know, it was like, if you're
requesting somebody do something, you know, like,
let's say, because I think they're, The example
that I heard was they were like redoing something
in their kitchen. Yeah. And it was like, you
know, they were changing out the hardware on
their cabinets. And it was like, you know, hey,
can you go ahead and do this? Or, you know, hey,
when are we going to get to it? And it was one
of those things of like, you know, the one spouse
was asking, when can we do this? And the other
spouse was like, okay, well, I don't have time
right now. How important is this to you? Is it
like... I can do it at this time later, or if
this is important to you now, you can do it now
because I unfortunately don't have the ability
to do it now. I don't have the bandwidth. Or
if it's important, even though if it's, you know,
quote unquote, my job, you know, if it's important
to you of how it gets done, then please, by all
means, I am not going to be offended if you do
it. I almost used painting a room as an example,
but you're really good at painting a room. So
I'm like, I'm not going to do that. I'm not going
to touch that. Seriously, when our friend was
telling us that they're painting their house
right now, I wanted to go, can I come? I was
like, don't do that. You're going to absolutely
stretch yourself. But I was like, I'll come help
you paint. I saw it on your face. I love to paint.
I mean, there might be some opportunities coming
up for you. It's true. It's true. But it is,
you know. So it's like, you know, again, it's
back to where are your strengths? Where are your
spouse's strengths? And not just where are your
strengths, but what is important to you? Yeah.
You know, again, I know there are some things
that it's like because of how I was raised, it's
like this is how it needs to be. And this is
the quote unquote right way inside of my brain.
I know. I'm mature enough and I'm smart enough
and I'm wise enough to know that what's the right
way in my brain does not mean that it's the right
way for everybody. But I know that in my brain,
that's the right way. And that's the way I have
to do it. for it to be the right way in my brain.
And everything that you guys just said is everything
that goes across his face. Anytime that I'm doing
the dishes, or I'm trying to fold something,
or I'm trying to move furniture, I'm trying to,
oh yeah, like even putting Gabriel's bed up higher.
Or it's like if we try to make the bed together.
Oh, see, we can't do that. We can't make the
bed together. We can't do that. Just like we
can't load the dishwasher together. No, no. But
again, you have in your mind, this is the right
way. In my mind, this is the right way. Baby,
can I tell you something? Yeah. There is no right
way in my brain. Oh, see. That is the thing.
Wow. That is your trick. My brain is just weird.
That is the trip of me. My brain is weird. No,
I'm probably weird. Because there is no right
way in my mind. But I can see where people will
go. But if there was a right way in my mind for
the dishes, it would constantly look the same,
chaotically, but it would still look the same.
Yeah. There is no right way. That's true. It's
like our fridge and our pantry. This fits here.
Sweet. We're going to put that there. And I literally,
I can feel you. From across the room. That's
why I have to leave. You have to leave. I do.
I have to leave. When you load the dishwasher,
I have to leave the kitchen. Because, listen,
guys, beforehand, before we mastered this, we
mastered the walking away. We mastered the walking
away. Yes, we did. Since we've mastered this,
it would be bad. I would turn and say, what?
Yeah. I would just twitch. What? Do you want
it here? By all means, sir, you do it. Like I
would be snarky, guys. You would. It would be
bad. But then you're hovering over it. You're
6 '3", I'm 5 '4". Y 'all do the math. He hovers.
Yeah. And like looming over me, I'm using all
the words, but the words are correct. Looming
over me of like, babe, the water's not going
to get to that. Do you want to do this? Yeah.
Okay. And so here we are. Yeah, here we are.
Here we are. Here we are. And it's like... Teaching
people what... Encouraging people, hey, if it's
right in your brain, here's what you do. This
is the right way to do it. I don't... I have
never been diagnosed, guys. Never, never, never,
never, never. And I do not claim this over me
so much. Right. But I am a personality. That
looks very, very similar to ADHD. And with the
way that my brain is wired, now listen, it's
not that I can't do other things in other ways.
If I'm following someone else's lead, I am really
good at following leads, I think. Yes? Yes. Oh,
yeah. But it's like if you leave me, thank you,
if you leave me to my own devices. Yeah. To myself.
Yeah. I will start cleaning in a room and then
I will go put something away in another room
that was in said initial room. Yeah. And then
I'll end up going and starting to clean in that
next room. And then I'll get distracted and then
maybe like, okay, I need to do something a little
bit more like instant. So I'll go vacuum. Or,
oh, wait, hold on. Like, I need to go maybe do
a load of laundry. And then it's like I get the
laundry going and then it'll sit in the basket
as it is sitting in the basket upstairs for a
week. And then it's like, but because you see
how my brain moves, because we have, that's one
of the big lessons that we want to teach people
is study your spouse. Like, study your spouse.
Find out. what it is that they need. Because
it's like, when I am working on a project, it
might take a little bit longer, or it might take
a second. But it's simply because my brain is
going in a different way to move to the next
subject, and then I gotta, oh, and then there's
a squirrel, and then it's... Mom. Mom. Mom, see,
and then you throw that factor into it. Or the
dog who's biting her nails. Yeah. And I'm trying
so desperately to stay engaged with you right
now. And it's like where you are like, let's
get this. I always go back to when you and I
were cleaning together. Oh, yeah. When we would
do house cleaning. Yeah. And I had my own business.
Yep. And at the beginning of our marriage, actually
while we were dating, but at the beginning of
our marriage. I was cleaning houses and you would
come with me. Yeah. Mostly because right after
we got married, I was out of school and I had
no job. You had no job. Yeah. And so you would
come with me. Yeah. And you would clean what?
I would clean the kitchen. The whole kitchen.
Yep. It would be sparkling. It would be amazing.
I'm really good at cleaning kitchens. I would
clean what, baby? The whole house. The whole
house. A, you're a lot better at cleaning than
I am. But because, thank you, babe. But because
I believe the reason why my, because my brain
is fueled in the way that it is. Yeah. I am able
to multitask on a level. Yeah. That kind of supersedes
other spaces. And it's like when you learn your
spouse, I'm not going to, that sounded kind of
haughty. I didn't mean it that way, but it just.
I'm a multitasker. Yeah. Like on a constant.
And so, because like once we get done here, I'm
going to get on the treadmill. I'm going to be
carrying some weights. I'll be listening to maybe
something. Yeah. And then like, and you're going
to go game. Yeah. With Sebastian. Yeah. And it's
like, it's figuring out what the other person.
figuring out how the other person thinks, understanding
that your thinking can shift and can grow and
can change, that you can compromise, that you
can... It's like, I keep saying learn, but it's
like, it's... It's knowing the limitations. Yeah.
And you said the strengths, but I also want to
say it's important to know each other's weaknesses
too. It is. Because when you step into those
places of weakness, you have a tendency. It's
not that you can't grow in those weaknesses.
I think what it does is it helps you be more
gracious. Yeah. While they're growing. And it's
also recognizing. Because I like the learning
that you say, learn your spouse, but I think
it's also the recognizing. Recognizing that this
is how my spouse behaves. This is how my spouse
acts and responds and operates. And it's like,
again, a lot of the stuff you figure out while
you're dating, while you're courting, while you're
engaged, stuff like that. But there is some...
curveballs that come after you get married and
all of a sudden when you are sharing a home and
you're living together every day and going to
bed together every day it's like oh this is oh
this is this is how you do that okay cool um
you know i mean even some people you know their
morning routines or their nighttime routines
it's like that's wow that's that's really set
you have to do that okay cool I have to shower.
You do. Yeah. And, you know, again, and it's
like there was something I noticed about you
and I, and I was thinking about something. You
know, it was one of those things. It was like,
you know, how you do your morning routine versus
how I do my morning routine. And it was one of
those things. It was like in the morning, like
as soon as you get up, like the first thing you
do is brush your teeth. Yeah. Like that's the
first thing, you know, before you do anything
else. You might take your vitamins first thing
in the morning, but like the first thing. I go
pee. Yeah. I take my vitamins. Yeah. And then
I brush my teeth. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas me, my
morning routine, I have to be dressed. Yes. And
then I brush my teeth. Like my brushing teeth
is like almost the last thing I do. It's the
icing on your cake. Yeah. Yes. It's like the
last thing I do is I brush my teeth, then I comb
my beard. Yeah. And then I'm ready to go. Because
when I brush my teeth, do you know what happens?
What? Something in my brain triggers. Yeah. And
then I come alive. Okay. Like, which is funny
because, like, my little herbal tea, like, vitamins,
like, help, like, just kind of give me that,
like, good morning. And a shot of caffeine or
whatever it is. But it's, like, something about
getting the junk of the night off of me. So I
can be refreshed and ready and set for the day.
And so, um, it's funny. I want to say one of
our friends, Christy Carmen, um, she does a workout
program and it's, she does hers first thing in
the morning. She said, um, I, instead of like
whenever they get up and it's like stupid early,
she was, when she brushes her teeth. she works
out harder and more effective. Interesting. Isn't
that interesting? So there's like, I don't know
if there's science behind any of this. I mean,
there might be. But something about getting the
gunk and feeling fresh kind of energizes you
in a space. Yeah. And see, and I was thinking
about that. I'm like, why is it that I like,
you know, again, this is the first time we've
really talked about it because you're like, wow,
this was on your brain? I'm like, yeah, this
was on my brain. This is what happens. Welcome
to my brain. But it was like, I was, I was like,
oh, that's really cool. It's like, but why is
it that I wait? And then I think I realized it,
you know, because again, it's not a big deal,
but like growing up, my sister and I shared a
bathroom. So it was like, she would take longer
to get ready. And so it was like, for the most
part, it was me. It's like, okay, well, I got
to get ready for school. I'm in my room. So get
fully dressed and get everything. And then it
was like, okay, fine. Before we walk out the
door, it's like, oh, I now get to go in the bathroom
and brush my teeth. Okay. So I think, I think
that's what it was. And that's just something
that's blood over. Interesting. Cause we share
a bathroom and we both have our own sinks and
we have our own space. So interesting. But yeah,
I think that's the only thing I can really think
of as to why it happens that way. I love that.
But yeah, that's. Yeah, I love that. But yeah,
just randomness. Again, just randomness. It's
just it's interesting to see the different patterns
because it is it's like you you are that person.
And then because immediately when you were like,
like, I immediately get dressed and I'm like,
OK, hearing your explanation, I like. And then
my other the explanation that was playing in
my head is because you like to be prepared. You
like to be prepared. If something were to happen,
you prepare. And where I, once I brush my teeth,
then where do I go, babe? I usually make my way
out into the kitchen. I go feed the fish, say
good morning to Pez. I open up all the blinds
in the living room to let the sunshine to come
in to get everybody ready for the day. Then I
make my way up to that cute little guy of ours.
Our girl is usually... already up or moving or
starting to stir. And then get his clothes out,
do all his stuff, make my way back down, make
his breakfast, make their lunches, and then I
get to go. But it's like, as you get prepared
to say, I'm going to get prepared just in case
something, whatever, you're working on the kitchen
while I am working on the rest of the house.
That's crazy. That's good. Yeah, it is. That's
good. And then we had our revelation today as
we're driving. Yeah. And we see where the girl
about walked into the road if it wasn't for the
husband or boyfriend or whoever. And you were
laughing and you said, it's because, you know,
like. Oh, I'm with my man. I'm with my man. I
can shut off my brain. I don't need to think.
And because I did that to you in the grocery
store. You did. Literally yesterday. I mean,
you called yourself out. I did. I just was like,
just do, do, do, do, do. I'm literally like a
little puppy just walking behind you. Do, do,
do, do, do, do, do. Not a care in the world.
Not even focusing. Like, you know how you like
look around, you see things, but you don't see
things because you're just like, do, do, do,
do. And the store was packed. It was so packed.
And maybe that's why I wasn't focusing because
I was not trying to get like anxious driven.
But it was like, do, do, do, do, do. Fine, fine,
fine. And then I turned and looked at you and
I said, ah. babe listen i totally forgot what
our list was i don't even remember why we're
here i'm with you and you get to drive this ship
and you're like okay and then just we're walking
through we got the stuff that we needed for our
tacos because that was a request from our children
and then we went home yep and then i was like
but then today i said i think i figured it out
babe and it's again these are generalizations
these are not absolutes that when women are out
with men Out in public, we have a tendency to
be a little bit more lax just simply because
we do feel safe with you. You are on high alert.
You are looking around. You're making sure that
everybody is safe. But the moment that you hit
house and you're home. then you get to shut down
and then we get to take over. And we get to provide
a space that is safe for you. And we get to say
this is, hi, honey, here's dinner. Hi, honey,
you get to go game now. Hi, honey, blah, blah,
blah. Not that you're getting permission, but
just that. You now have permission to kind of
shut off your brain. You get to just be. This
gets to be your place where you get to come and
rest. Yeah, and I did. I liked that. I really
liked how you did... You're like, this is what
it is. It's like outside the home, it's this.
Inside the home, it's... Yeah. Yeah. And it's
not that you're not... It's not that you disengage.
Right. Because I think too many times... I don't
want to say men in general, but just unfortunately
that... A majority of the time it happens to
men. It does because you guys are usually the
ones that are outside the house. And unfortunately,
when you do come home, that peace that you feel
can almost disengage you. Like you go on to autopilot.
I'm just going to sit here with my lazy boy and
I'm just going to zone and watch TV and do nothing.
Where the wife is like, hi, the house is on fire.
I really need you to re -engage, activate. I
need you to, like, I need you. Johnny is having
a problem. Yeah. Gabriel is having a crisis.
Yeah. Like something's going on. I need you to
reengage. Yeah. It was almost, it's almost like
I heard, I heard about a study that they did
once about fathers and mothers. Yeah. And that
kind of goes along with this. And they were looking
at, they were doing a study of like new parents.
And what they did was they, when, when the parents
were sleeping, They played a noise of like a
child crying or something, you know, like that.
And they noticed a vast majority of the time
the mother would wake up. The father would continue
sleeping. And they did that like almost every
time. That's what it was. The vast majority of
the time, mother woke up, check on the baby,
father kept passed out. No idea what was going
on. But when they did that again. And instead
of a baby crying, it was a noise outside the
house. Yeah. A vast majority of the time, it
was the dad that woke up and the mom remained
sleeping and passed out and had no idea. How
beautiful is that? Yeah. Genuinely. Yeah. Like
just to see the natural dynamic that God has
placed in us as men and women. Yeah. And so we
need to be. aware of those things and and and
also be aware of which which position of those
do you hold again majority men majority women
yes there's natural things that we do have but
sometimes we've said it before it's you're You
may not be good at finances. I might be good
at finances. I might be the one that gets to
do the mechanics and you're really good at the
laundry. We cannot put certain things on certain
people just based off of their gender. We have
to say, hey, what is it you gravitate to? What
is your talent? And celebrate those things as
opposed to insisting that somebody tries to fit
into a box that they... that they were not designed
to be in. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. So do you want
to tell everybody the name of our website, and
then we're going to go away? I do, because I
was. I was like, we didn't really say that. We're
going to have to close with that. Yep. So our
website, which is live, again, it's about 85%,
90 % complete. So if you see something that's
weird, you can either let us know, or you can
just know that it's going to get fixed really
soon. Yes. Within the next... couple few days
so yeah firm footing dot coach because if we
have or haven't told you the name of our relationship
coaching is firm footing yep so that's that's
the name we chose that's what we're rocking with
because again we we believe that communication
and and understanding and and a lot of what we
talk about and believe in is really good for
a good, solid, firm foundation for marriages,
for relationships. And so we wanted to do that
for our relationship coaching business, but then
also our website. So it's firmfooting .coach.
We did get the .coach because we are going on
that in that vein. But it's going to have a section
there for merch. It's going to have a section
there talking about our coaching business. If
we want to do small groups, stuff like that.
It's going to have connection links and all there
for our podcasts. So, yeah. But, yeah, it's out
there. It's live. Like I said, it's almost done.
If you see some errors, just either let us know
or be patient. But yeah, we're doing it. We're
moving forward. We're doing it. Yeah. And there's
a page that you can fill out if you and your
spouse want to look into relationship coaching.
We are going to be setting up times where we
can give somebody a free consultation to see
if we're a fit for you. And you for us because
it's not just us for you, but we also need to
know that we have the confidence to where we
can give the tools to you in the capacity that
you need them because we definitely don't want
to try to give you something if we don't believe
that we're the right people. And then also, I
do want to say with firmfooting .coach, We have
picked up a slogan and our slogan actually came
off of a sticky note from our daughter that she
picked up. Yeah. And it just simply says, don't
trip on what's behind you. And that is one of
the main reasons why we're like firm footing
because too many times we're having this. looking
in our rearview mirror kind of mentality as opposed
to looking forward on the things that are ahead.
So know that if that is something that you're
wanting, something that you're looking towards,
that will always be one of our number one goals.
It's not trying to fix what was behind per se,
but it's helping you obtain the tools that can
help you be successful in the future. And isn't
there a Bible verse about that? Isn't there a
scripture out there about once you put your hand
to the plow, don't look back or something? Do
not look back. Yeah, don't look back. Learn from
the mistakes. Learn from the situations. Learn
from the things. We get that. But let's start
equipping each other with the tools to where
we're not making the same mistakes over and over
again and so we can grow and then be better.
Yeah. So that is where we are. And then if you
are in the KC area, one more time, 9900 View
High Drive starting Tuesday, this coming Tuesday,
April 8th at 630. The very latest we're going
to try to get everybody out of there is by 8.
Everybody will be walking out of the building
by 8 o 'clock. And we will be doing a four -week
marriage thing basically called Marriage Supplements.
And a lot of what you guys get to hear here is
what we are going to be sharing there, but we're
going to be doing it on more of a one -on -one
personal basis. Or small group basis. Small group
basis, which will be really nice. Yes. I am really
looking forward to this time. Yeah. So if you
guys don't catch us this time, know that we probably
will be coming back around. But if you are a
church or if you are an organization that is
looking for somebody to come out and speak to
your group. We are also available to those kind
of things, too. Yes, we are. So, guys, have the
best week. Enjoy the journey.