1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,520 Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na. 2 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:14,520 Hey babe. 3 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:15,520 Hey babe. 4 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:16,520 How's it going? 5 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,520 It is wonderful. 6 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,520 How are you? 7 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,520 I'm good. 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,520 It's been a rollercoaster of a day. 9 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,520 Dang. 10 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,520 All of a sudden. 11 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:23,520 Is that bad? 12 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:24,520 All of a sudden I'm going, what did we do today? 13 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:33,960 So before we get too far into this, we have special guests. 14 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,960 We do have special guests. 15 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,040 Would you like to introduce the special guests? 16 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:43,040 I'm going to cry. 17 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:44,040 Aww. 18 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,040 Okay. 19 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:50,040 So our special guests, we have Bob and Dawn Cates. 20 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:53,640 Two of my absolute favorite people in the whole entire world. 21 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:56,080 Dina's brother and sister-in-law. 22 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,080 Say hi y'all. 23 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:58,080 Hello. 24 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,080 Hello. 25 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,080 Glad to be here. 26 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:06,760 That's my clap machine. 27 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,920 We are stoked that they're here. 28 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:09,920 We are. 29 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,400 Not the reason why they're here. 30 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,400 Exactly. 31 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:19,840 And so that's today we on an untimely, I don't know, how do you even explain it? 32 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:26,640 I'm looking at my brother, like unfortunately our stepmom passed away and we buried her 33 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:34,080 today and that's why you guys are here for the weekend. 34 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,080 So you get to hang out with us. 35 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,800 Y'all are the happy part of my day. 36 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,200 It's a good part of my day. 37 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,040 And Dawn's here under duress. 38 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,040 I'm just kidding. 39 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,040 Under the weather. 40 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,040 Under the weather. 41 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,040 She's here under the weather. 42 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:56,800 She is under the weather, not feeling good, but I am super stoked that you get to be here. 43 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,600 Thanks for having me. 44 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:02,400 And we were, pull it towards you a little bit more. 45 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,400 There we go. 46 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,400 No, you're good. 47 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,840 Yeah, you're gonna look like you're eating it. 48 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:06,840 It's gonna be all right. 49 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:11,400 I feel like it's across my eyes. 50 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,200 So my big brother, he's my big brother. 51 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,200 I am the baby of the family. 52 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:22,080 He is my big brother and my sister-in-law has been in my life since I was 13. 53 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,080 I didn't realize that until you said that the other day. 54 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,560 I was like, I guess I have been in your life a long time. 55 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,920 You've literally watched me grow up. 56 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:30,920 Grow up. 57 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:31,920 Yeah. 58 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:32,920 Yeah. 59 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,960 Through some hard and really dumb things. 60 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,600 My sister-in-law knows stuff she will not tell you. 61 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,960 It's just that simple. 62 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,800 We have worked through things. 63 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:41,800 We've cried together. 64 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:42,800 We have cried together. 65 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,920 We've always been very honest with each other. 66 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:46,920 Just honest to a fault. 67 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:47,920 Not even a fault. 68 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:48,920 But just like... 69 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:54,160 Oh, I'd say it's a good way to say it. 70 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:58,640 And so anyway, you guys have been married for how many years now? 71 00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,000 You just celebrated... 72 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 36 years. 73 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000 36 years. 74 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000 Congratulations. 75 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:12,080 And my brother's over there just sitting very quietly, which is not him. 76 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,080 Can you hear me, bro? 77 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,080 Yes, I can hear you. 78 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,080 Okay, good. 79 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,080 36 years. 80 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,080 That's cool. 81 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,080 It is. 82 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,240 Do you guys want to tell us a little bit of background history? 83 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,760 Tell us how you guys met, all the things. 84 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,560 Tell us who you are in your phones. 85 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,560 That was cute. 86 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,440 Well, I'm in my phone. 87 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,440 He's my love. 88 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,680 And in his phone, I'm my sweetheart. 89 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,800 I love that. 90 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,160 She's been my sweetheart for 36 years. 91 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,160 That's sweet. 92 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,720 So we met in the military. 93 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,660 He was a backslidden Christian. 94 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:44,200 I wasn't a Christian at all. 95 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,880 I can't even say backslidden because I was never there. 96 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:48,880 Right. 97 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,880 But I was looking for something. 98 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:51,880 Yeah. 99 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,440 Which we won't go that far back. 100 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,320 Anyway, and so... 101 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,920 We were two broken people. 102 00:03:58,920 --> 00:03:59,920 Very broken. 103 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:03,280 We were a hot mess. 104 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:09,960 And then he worked in the motor pool and I worked in service and repair in Germany, Bamberg, 105 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:10,960 Germany. 106 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,760 And I started dating his friend. 107 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:14,760 Oh, yeah. 108 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:15,760 Wait a minute. 109 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,880 Did I know this? 110 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:17,880 We met at a club. 111 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,880 Did you not know that? 112 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,320 No, I'm sitting in that... 113 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,440 I'm learning stuff today. 114 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:28,080 We met at a club and it was a guy named Dave. 115 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:33,720 Well, I was sitting in this room with the cooks and we were all just sitting there having 116 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,400 a beer. 117 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,240 And so they had a plan. 118 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,480 And Dave walked in and was sitting across the way here and I was sitting like in a bean 119 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,960 bag. 120 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:48,400 And Bob walked in from behind and said, Hey, we're getting ready to go. 121 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,400 And that was the plan. 122 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,160 I did not know there was a plan. 123 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,240 But I never turned around. 124 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:59,000 But he tells me that this day, he said, Dave said he was gonna get me and he did. 125 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000 Oh, okay. 126 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000 But you know, it is what it is. 127 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Yeah. 128 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,800 And we dated for about a month. 129 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:09,320 And he said, God put in his heart that he was supposed to take care of me, even though 130 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,760 he had never even seen me or met me. 131 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,760 Wow. 132 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,760 Wow. 133 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:16,480 And so and then I was like, that's weird. 134 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,720 I always think to this day, I still think that's weird. 135 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,720 Yeah. 136 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:20,720 Yeah. 137 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:21,720 But he... 138 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:22,720 Oh, go ahead, Dave. 139 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,440 During that period of my life, I was like, I was really heartbroken, didn't know what 140 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,360 was life was about. 141 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:33,680 And I remember me crawling out to God saying, God, if all life is, is a bunch of heartache, 142 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:38,220 I'll go to the arms room, go to 45, put it to my head and fulfill my destiny and save 143 00:05:38,220 --> 00:05:39,560 a whole lot of heartaches. 144 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,720 This is when I was in the army. 145 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,120 And so I started praying for a friend. 146 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,040 I said, Lord, do you see me a Christian friend? 147 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,680 Because I was going out to the bars every Friday, doing all the things that I wasn't 148 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,280 supposed to be doing. 149 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:55,200 And I knew the Lord growing up raised in church and I couldn't have fun, you know? 150 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,440 So I was struggling at that time. 151 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,440 So but so go ahead. 152 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:04,720 Oh, and then so we and we actually went so Dave, I left the room and then Dave came up 153 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,720 to me and says, Hey, you want to go to this club? 154 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,240 Well, then I got to the club. 155 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,240 That's actually when I met Bob. 156 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,240 I couldn't remember his name. 157 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:18,920 Tell you, he was wearing a red and red, blue and white and red, white and blue ugly shirt. 158 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:19,920 Crew cut. 159 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,920 I was not attracted to it. 160 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:28,920 But the first time I did notice him was he but he would always come to the room like 161 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,840 me and Dave would be like in the back room. 162 00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,920 And because he was big in a jazz. 163 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:37,360 So he was always playing, showing me these records of jazz and he would always come down 164 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:44,360 to the room and visit and he tells me he goes is to make sure you all were doing this is 165 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,320 live and personal, right? 166 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,320 That's good. 167 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,240 But during that night when I was asking the Lord about that, I said I was going to go 168 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,800 to back to the arm to get 45. 169 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,480 I actually had a literal vision. 170 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:58,720 I hear people say that all the time, but I had a literal vision of a harvest field that 171 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:02,320 was on the wall and this harvest field caught on fire. 172 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:07,280 And I sat up and I started pounding on my bunk bed and I said, God protect the wheat, 173 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:08,600 protect the wheat. 174 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,320 And I went and got a Bible that mom sent me before I went to the army and set my wall 175 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:13,640 locker for three and a half years. 176 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,320 I never picked it up and I went and got it and I opened it up. 177 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:21,360 And then the first thing I saw was the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. 178 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,500 Pray to the Lord of the harvest that has sent forth laborers. 179 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:30,320 And so I started praying and I had some other visions where I saw myself on a fire escape, 180 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,560 reaching to multitudes in the city. 181 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,280 This is things that God was showing me about my future. 182 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:39,400 But during this time, I still had this personal struggle with sin and alcoholism and all this 183 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,400 stuff. 184 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,400 And God spoke to me and he said, what if I sent you one? 185 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:49,480 I said, well, Lord, would there be an equal reward to win the multitudes or to win one? 186 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:50,900 And that's when he sent me Don. 187 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,480 So I knew that I was supposed to take care of her. 188 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,440 He really put that on my heart. 189 00:07:55,440 --> 00:08:02,120 So we started going to church and started doing Bible studies in our own home. 190 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:08,760 The non-spiritual side. 191 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:13,240 So he lived with conviction and I did not. 192 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:20,000 And you can be as real as you want to. 193 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,240 And I didn't have conviction. 194 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:22,240 Well, I wasn't raised with conviction. 195 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,240 I was like, what are you talking about? 196 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:31,400 So when we met, he would start calling me names when we would cross the line. 197 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,320 And I was like the worst person on the earth. 198 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,320 And I was like, I don't need you. 199 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,320 You stink anyway. 200 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,320 And so because literally he did. 201 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,320 I worked in the motor pool. 202 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:46,320 He worked in the motor pool and his clothes would literally be full shoved. 203 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,480 I'm like, how do you anything going to move in here? 204 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,360 His clothes and his uniforms stuffed. 205 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:56,000 How is water supposed to get in here? 206 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 But anyway, no. 207 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,320 But then I don't think mom ever taught you how to do laundry. 208 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,720 I'm not sure she taught any of it. 209 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,720 Wait a minute. 210 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:04,720 It's fine. 211 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,720 We're not going to throw them all under the bus. 212 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,720 It's all right. 213 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:11,960 Anyway, but I just, but then, and then I thought, cause he tried to break up with me several 214 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:12,960 times. 215 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:15,720 He broke up with me broke up with me on my 20th birthday. 216 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:16,720 He sent me. 217 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,440 Yeah, I was struggling. 218 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,320 I was just struggling, you know, but then he wouldn't leave me alone. 219 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,320 Yeah. 220 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,600 And then I would tell my roommate, I don't understand this guy. 221 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,600 Right. 222 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,360 Cause he was like, but what it was is like, well, I can have fun by myself. 223 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,520 I've never had a problem with that. 224 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,000 I'm like, I'm going to go watch a movie. 225 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,040 I'm going to go to, cause all we had was Burger King. 226 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,560 I went to Burger King. 227 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:40,560 I have my car and I was like, you're deuces, you know, no problem. 228 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:44,760 But then he, he was like, maybe I don't want to break up. 229 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,600 Make up your mind. 230 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,600 But he had already asked me to marry him before that too. 231 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,600 He asked me to marry. 232 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:58,920 We were in reforger and, but that was when I knew I loved him. 233 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,760 He was, he got very, very sick. 234 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,560 He got like 106 fever. 235 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:06,240 Well, and he was laying in the back of his deuce and half and he's just sitting back 236 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,360 there and he's just shaking. 237 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,560 And I'm trying to tell the captain, make him go, make him go. 238 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,320 And the captain's like, he's a, he's a grown man. 239 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,840 He can go and he wouldn't move because he was just not feeling good. 240 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,120 And then they made, he finally decided to go. 241 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,760 And so, and they got him, they had to like put three IVs in them. 242 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,120 They got the, it got his temperature down, then back up. 243 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:30,800 Well, I could never talk to him cause it was like trying to go to a phone with enough Deutschmarks 244 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,440 to talk, you know, anyhow. 245 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,400 And he came out to the field about a week and a half later. 246 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,080 Cause we were out there for about four weeks. 247 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:39,080 Yeah. 248 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,600 I think that's three, four or three weeks, something like that. 249 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,160 And like two o'clock in the morning, he came out. 250 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,880 He's like, my maiden name is Push. 251 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,480 He's like, Push, Push. 252 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,600 I could hear him. 253 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,760 That moment I knew I loved him. 254 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,320 I was like so happy to hear that he was okay. 255 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,760 That was the moment I knew I loved him. 256 00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,760 That was in September. 257 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,760 And then he broke up with me in November. 258 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,760 And then we got married in February. 259 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:02,760 And so, but anyhow, so that's our beginning story. 260 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:03,760 Hot mess. 261 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:14,760 I like it. 262 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,400 Yeah. 263 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:22,160 It's like, part of me is like, I don't know if I want to say, you know, well, what's the 264 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:26,360 secret or what are some, some nuggets and jewels that y'all have learned? 265 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:32,440 And then I also want to say, I think it's hilarious how y'all ended up getting married 266 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:36,360 in the first place or, or, you know, just getting married. 267 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:42,160 Cause I recently heard that within the past, I think the last six, nine months, I heard 268 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,040 the whirlwind story of how y'all got married. 269 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,040 Oh yeah. 270 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,040 Cause of his mom. 271 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,040 Yeah. 272 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,960 That's the only reason we got married. 273 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,840 Cause she knew that if he didn't do it, we were, and it was like that. 274 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:59,720 But now I have learned though, he was raised, not able to make a decision on his own. 275 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,700 They were not allowed to make their own decisions for anything. 276 00:12:02,700 --> 00:12:07,360 So for him to make a decision, because I had paperwork, cause in the military you kind 277 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,640 of have to get approved to get married. 278 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:15,040 And, and the only reason I had even gone back to this, we were getting ready to go back 279 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:18,280 to the stage and my sister was supposed to get married. 280 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,480 And then when she decided to get married, we already had tickets to go back to the States. 281 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,840 I already got our leave, you know, approved. 282 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,160 I'm like, so that's what his mom said. 283 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,100 Hey, while you're here, why don't you get married? 284 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:31,600 We were two young, broken kids. 285 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:37,000 I say that the key thing, I think just keep working through it. 286 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,520 Keep talking, keep dating. 287 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:43,640 Cause there was a period of time, there was one year he says he doesn't remember it, but 288 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,360 I remember it like yesterday. 289 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,860 I didn't even like seeing him. 290 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,920 I didn't want to be in the same room with him. 291 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,520 We just weren't getting along. 292 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,640 And we would go, but we still had date nights once a week with a friend. 293 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:59,360 We would trade off and they would have, we watched their kids, they watch our kids and 294 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,360 that was important. 295 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,560 And I remember thinking I was going to cancel it because we just weren't getting along. 296 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,520 And I was like, I didn't want to be in the same room with him. 297 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,360 And then I remember we were getting ready to go on vacation. 298 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:12,400 I thought, Oh, we have to sit in this car with him. 299 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:20,080 We took a trip to like Grand Canyon and we just, I 40 over to California. 300 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:24,080 And we just weren't getting along anyway. 301 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,400 But we kept on the dates. 302 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,560 We weren't talking on the dates, but we were still sitting there. 303 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,720 You know, we would go to the lake. 304 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,240 We wouldn't talk at the lake. 305 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,960 We wouldn't do anything, but we were still trying. 306 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:36,960 Yeah. 307 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,320 We were laying a foundation. 308 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,320 Yeah. 309 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,520 I can being consistent in a foundation. 310 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:49,680 And it's like, even if you're not, I immediately think of like, you're, you're trying to create 311 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:53,240 a harvest eventually, but you got to sow some seed in there. 312 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,120 And it's like, even if you don't want to be out there and doing the thing, it's, you're 313 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:02,600 still consistently putting something you're depositing. 314 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,400 I think you guys are really good about that. 315 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,720 You say that to me a lot. 316 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:10,040 Like you can't withdraw something out if you haven't deposited something in. 317 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:15,680 And if you guys are depositing even that time, even if you're having a hard time communicating, 318 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:21,640 you're depositing something and it is going to come back in a good measure as opposed 319 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:22,640 to. 320 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:27,840 I think as a kid, or we were young, we thought we knew what love was, but we really didn't 321 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:29,440 know what love was. 322 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,440 Right. 323 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:34,400 You know, and it took us a while to get there, but you're right. 324 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,960 We were consistent in that. 325 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,460 Keep dating, keep dating, keep dating. 326 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,800 And we would talk even though we weren't getting along, we were still talking. 327 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,920 So that was something that we just had to work through. 328 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:48,200 My mom used to tell me that she said, even if you're screaming, you're still talking. 329 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,200 Yeah. 330 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,840 I think that sometimes we've actually used your mom's quote. 331 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:53,840 Oh, you're not here. 332 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:54,840 We've used it in here. 333 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:55,840 That's a good one. 334 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:56,840 Yeah. 335 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,040 We're like, cause people are like, well, I just can't do this. 336 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,840 Or I just want to yell at them. 337 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,160 Okay, then yell. 338 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,160 Keep talking. 339 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,160 Yeah. 340 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,160 Yeah. 341 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,160 Don't belittle them. 342 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,160 Don't berate them. 343 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,240 But at least as long as you're having a conversation, that's all that matters. 344 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,800 So you said that you didn't, Bobby, you said that you guys didn't know what love looked 345 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:14,800 like, right? 346 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,800 Yeah. 347 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,880 So tell me what you would, how you would describe that to somebody now. 348 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,280 Like what does that mean? 349 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,920 Well, I can fast forward into 15 years of marriage. 350 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:25,920 Okay. 351 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:31,400 Uh, Dawn went on a trip to Mexico for missions and, uh, I knew something was going on in 352 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,400 her heart. 353 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:35,440 I just, you know, just like, I didn't have all of her heart. 354 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:41,000 And so I started reading through the book of, uh, uh, I read it was the shack and there 355 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:45,960 was a part in that book where God took this man to a garden and he started plucking things 356 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,520 out of his heart. 357 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:53,520 And so I was, Lord was showing me that she went to Mexico and on her trip to Mexico, 358 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:57,040 that he was going to start pulling things from her heart, start plucking things from 359 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:03,120 her heart that, and, and so, uh, I asked her one time, I said, I said, Hey, Dawn, do I 360 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:04,280 have all your heart? 361 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,240 Is something going on within your heart? 362 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,160 And uh, I'll let you go from there. 363 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,080 She's over there in a little bit of tears right now. 364 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,200 I got a tissue right there next to me. 365 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,200 Can you? 366 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,200 I'm all right. 367 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,200 Uh, he didn't have all my heart. 368 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:23,680 You know, there was a time he just didn't have all my heart, but we got through it. 369 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:28,840 You know, I'd gone a straight, I didn't have an affair, but I had an affair of the heart. 370 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:29,840 Yeah. 371 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,760 And I was telling you all that last night, but I had an affair of the heart. 372 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:42,960 But he said, when he said that, when he told me, um, he says, I want to know everything, 373 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960 even if it hurts. 374 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,960 I love that. 375 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,360 When he said that to me, I'm like, Oh wow. 376 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,360 He loves me. 377 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,360 Who loves someone that much? 378 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,360 I love that. 379 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,360 They're willing to go through that. 380 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,360 Yeah. 381 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,360 Yeah. 382 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,720 You know, you're going to love me even if I tell you something horrible here. 383 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:56,720 Yeah. 384 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,340 You know, I mean, I never, you know, I really never, you know, and so. 385 00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:04,240 It could have turned into something had it not been dealt with. 386 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,240 Right. 387 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,240 Yeah. 388 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,240 Yeah. 389 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,400 And so, but I'm glad I, yeah, but we worked through it. 390 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,400 Yeah. 391 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,320 We worked through that, but also during that time, love is patient. 392 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:15,460 Love is kind. 393 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:17,800 Love doesn't keep it a record of wrongs. 394 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:23,680 You know, and I thought, well, to have purity, just pure love in my heart doesn't matter 395 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:24,680 what she did. 396 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,000 I chose at that time. 397 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,560 I was going to walk with her through it, whatever that might be. 398 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,360 And no matter how much it hurt, because that's what God did for me. 399 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:38,720 And it was real easy for me to say, but to really to have that in my heart saying, hey, 400 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,280 no matter what it is, I'm going to choose to stick this out and walk with her through 401 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,280 this. 402 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,280 Right. 403 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,280 So that was. 404 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,760 It wasn't an overnight thing. 405 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,360 We cried a lot. 406 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:52,840 Two o'clock in the morning, a lot of working through it. 407 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:53,840 Yeah. 408 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,840 Like say that part again. 409 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:55,840 What's that? 410 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:59,280 Like say that part again, because I think too many times, like our listeners are just people. 411 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,280 They have it in their brain. 412 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,920 We absolutely can pray and we believe that God can absolutely restore and renew. 413 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,920 Right. 414 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,720 But we know that it takes time. 415 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:15,760 A lot of days it's, it's breaking the, the mental gymnastics or whatever. 416 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,760 Right. 417 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:21,600 Just those, those preconceived ideas or the expectations of what we think something needs 418 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,280 to be looking like. 419 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,680 And the whole time it's like, God's just like, I just need you to get me right in the middle 420 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,680 of this. 421 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,280 I need you to be in the middle of this. 422 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:34,400 I need you to be honest and open and know that you are on the same team and I will get 423 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,400 you to the other side, but it's going to take time. 424 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,400 Yeah. 425 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,560 Well, when I went on this trip, I just felt like I was supposed to go on this missions 426 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,560 trip. 427 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:43,560 It was a woman's thing. 428 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:44,560 Yeah. 429 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,720 And I was so dry in my heart. 430 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,480 Like, and I remember being down there, we're supposed to be ministering to women and praying 431 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,480 with them. 432 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,480 And I just didn't have it in me. 433 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:53,480 Yeah. 434 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,880 I'm like, I'm not going to pray for you if I don't feel that. 435 00:18:54,880 --> 00:19:00,280 And I just was like, and I remember the pastor's wife came up to me and she goes, I'm supposed 436 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,560 to pray with you about something, but not now. 437 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,560 And I didn't say anything. 438 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,560 Oh. 439 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,840 And then they asked like all these, we were, so we were having this conference and they 440 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,920 all start moving forward. 441 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:16,120 And I kind of stepped back hoping I would just like, like, you know, disappear and then 442 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:19,040 we'll never all become a flower. 443 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,560 But anyway, so I was like thinking that. 444 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,400 The next thing I know, I don't even know where she came from. 445 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,120 The pastor's wife comes over there, starts praying over me and puts her hand on my heart. 446 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,120 Everything in me broke. 447 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:37,000 And the whole time Bob's saying, he's texting me because I was in the middle of nowhere 448 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000 how we got that. 449 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,680 And it was back in the day with the flip phones, his waypoint iPhones. 450 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:45,040 And I'm like, you know, and he's saying, God's taking you to the garden. 451 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,440 He's telling me all this. 452 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,920 And I'm just not feeling the spiritualness, you know? 453 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:56,240 But when that lady put her hand on my heart, I broke and she prayed over me and I just 454 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,240 broke. 455 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,120 And if you, I even have pictures of the, you can see those pictures. 456 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,120 Yeah. 457 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:05,960 I was like, you can tell I'm just drained because I was just so, I cried so much that 458 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:06,960 day. 459 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:12,680 And I think that was the day that my love started growing towards us. 460 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,280 It became us again. 461 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,480 My heart was starting to become his again. 462 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,480 Yeah. 463 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,480 You know? 464 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,320 And so, but it, but it took that. 465 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:24,160 And so, and then even one lady goes, I never seen that before. 466 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,960 And she was an older lady too. 467 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,440 So it was crazy. 468 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,480 I look back at that. 469 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:34,480 I think that's a vital thing in marriage too is it's really, it's really important that 470 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:41,200 we not keep things in the dark, you know, because I think the word stronghold is not, 471 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,680 it's not only like you have a stronghold on something. 472 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,320 It's a fortified dwelling place. 473 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,640 It's a, it's like a foxhole. 474 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:47,760 It's camouflage. 475 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:48,800 People can't see it. 476 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:53,880 It's fortified and that's kind of when you don't share things with your spouse, it's, 477 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,400 it's really, it's fortified. 478 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:56,400 It's in the foxhole. 479 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,160 It can't be seen and the enemy's at work. 480 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,880 So when you go to them and you say, Hey, is there something going on in your life? 481 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:06,080 And she just had enough to say, yeah, there is. 482 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,280 It, there was no longer a stronghold there. 483 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,840 It was no longer fortified. 484 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:10,840 Right. 485 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,280 He had to press and press and press. 486 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,880 And I remember laying on the bed, getting almost into a fetal position because he would 487 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,480 not leave me alone. 488 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:20,480 Yeah. 489 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,480 Not an abusive way. 490 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,480 Yeah. 491 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,080 He was like, there's something going on and I don't know what it is. 492 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,080 Do you remember that? 493 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,080 Yeah. 494 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,080 Yeah. 495 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,280 And then, and then finally I broke and I told him. 496 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:31,840 And so, yeah. 497 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,720 And then it was brought to the light and then I could start healing. 498 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:35,720 Right. 499 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:36,720 The Holy Spirit got to deal with it from there. 500 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,720 Yeah. 501 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:42,560 And I also think, you know, you think about your kids, you say, I'll run into a burning 502 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,280 building for my kids. 503 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:47,720 You know, I'm willing to be consumed by the fire for my kids. 504 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,520 But a lot of times when even in our own marriage, we got to say, am I willing to be burned? 505 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,780 Am I even willing to be wronged? 506 00:21:53,780 --> 00:21:56,040 Can I keep going forward with my marriage? 507 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,600 Even if I'm wronged and the Lord was showing me, that's what I'm calling you to. 508 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:03,080 Even if she burns you, I want you to love her that much. 509 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,000 I want you to be willing to put yourself on the cross like my son did for you. 510 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,000 Yeah. 511 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,440 And so that's, I think that's when our marriage started going forward. 512 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,440 Yeah. 513 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,440 That's true. 514 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:17,360 Because I think at that point you have, when you have that kind of mentality, your spouse 515 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:18,360 knows it. 516 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:19,360 They feel it. 517 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,840 Like, oh, you're in this, thick or thin. 518 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,360 It doesn't matter. 519 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,320 And then it almost shifts something, doesn't it? 520 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:33,040 Because it's like, I think of Hosea with Gomer, right? 521 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,560 He kept going back and going and grabbing her back and pulling her back because God 522 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,320 said, no, you go take care of her. 523 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,160 No, you go take care of her. 524 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,440 You make her righteous. 525 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,720 You make her better. 526 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:43,800 You make right. 527 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:50,400 And it's like when you have somebody that loves you in spite of, who loves you, you 528 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,240 know, through the, right, just all the things. 529 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:59,040 And it's all of a sudden something like there's a drive. 530 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:00,400 There's something inside you. 531 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,040 You have, you have all my heart because I can trust you. 532 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,040 Yeah. 533 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:09,920 Now with, with this part of me that apparently like I've been holding back and you're like, 534 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:10,920 no, I'm willing. 535 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:11,920 Like we'll do whatever I can. 536 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,080 I am here. 537 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:16,080 It's good. 538 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,080 Yeah. 539 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,720 Well, he, and he had a trust issue before this. 540 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:20,720 Yeah. 541 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,640 I mean, it was bad when we first, I have no idea why I stayed with him at that time because 542 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,640 he would literally think I was as stoned as Jesus. 543 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:28,640 Yeah. 544 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,560 Well, I would be going to the bathroom and he would follow me because he thought I was 545 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:32,560 going to go do something. 546 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,560 I'm like, what do you think I'm going to go do? 547 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,280 He just had a really bad trust issues. 548 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:41,480 But then after this happened, he started healing in that area. 549 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:42,480 Wow. 550 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,480 That's so good. 551 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:44,480 Yeah. 552 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,480 That's good, Don. 553 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,480 Yeah. 554 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,440 Because it was then that I knew that love, you can't hurt me. 555 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:50,980 I love you that much. 556 00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:55,360 It doesn't matter because I'm going to choose to love you no matter what happens to me. 557 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:57,200 So we're going to choose to work it out. 558 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,560 That's what it came to. 559 00:23:58,560 --> 00:23:59,560 Yeah. 560 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:00,560 Yeah. 561 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:05,600 So tell me some things, some things, cause you keep talking about the garden and I love 562 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:06,600 that. 563 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:11,160 And all I heard in my head was how do you till your garden? 564 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,520 How do you guys till your garden as far as your marriage? 565 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:20,360 Because again, I've, I have not been in your marriage, but I get to be one of the, these 566 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:27,600 people that gets to sit on the sidelines and watch the amazingness of what God has done. 567 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:36,240 Because this is the part where I, I honor you guys. 568 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,520 You guys are an example in my life. 569 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:48,680 Like who you have been to who you guys are now to see the things that you guys have overcome 570 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,920 physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, like all of it. 571 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:56,400 Like you've given me two amazing nephews and beautiful niece and then all the grand babies 572 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,640 that you guys, you know what I mean? 573 00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:06,280 Like God has so blessed you guys in spite of some of, in spite of some of it, right? 574 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:07,280 That's true. 575 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,400 And it's like, how do you guys, how have you guys tended to the garden? 576 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,400 What are some of the weeds? 577 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,640 Tell me some of the things. 578 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:18,440 For me, I think the Psalms 139, it says, search me, Oh Lord, and see if there be any wicked 579 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:19,440 way in me. 580 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,440 Yeah. 581 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,720 And to genuinely do that, you know, and then just sit alone with him and you look inward. 582 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:29,000 Like I remember one time I said something sharp to Don one day and the Lord said to 583 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,800 me, how dare you say, I giving you that. 584 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,160 I giving you, she's your gift. 585 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,840 How would it, it's something that simple. 586 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:35,840 Yeah. 587 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:42,040 And then was it John 15, it says, if you abide in me and my work, you know, I'm the vine, 588 00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:43,420 you are the branches. 589 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,800 So it's really just abiding in Christ. 590 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,760 And if you abide in Christ, he's the one that does the pruning in your life. 591 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:52,240 He cuts those, Hey, I shouldn't have said that. 592 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:57,480 Or I was offended by something today and the Lord just bring those things back into your 593 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,480 remembrance. 594 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,640 That's really tending your garden, just presenting yourself to him every day, every day. 595 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,000 That's how it works for me. 596 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,000 Yeah. 597 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,120 And I've just learned to appreciate for him. 598 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:11,280 I don't know if I'm going to answer your question, right? 599 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,560 For me, I remember this lady said this to me. 600 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,560 I sometimes just those little bitty things. 601 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:16,560 Yeah. 602 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,520 And I know, and I'm not saying be a doormat. 603 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:19,520 Right. 604 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,760 I'm not saying, cause he doesn't treat me like a doormat. 605 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:22,760 I can testify. 606 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:23,760 Yeah. 607 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,760 Yeah. 608 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,760 But this lady told me, she goes, she says she, she, she, she, you could complain about 609 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:33,240 the shoes on the floor or the laundry that lays there, or you could just go pick it up. 610 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:34,240 I love that. 611 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,320 And you can argue for 45 seconds or you can argue for 45 minutes and yell at each other 612 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:38,920 and gain nothing. 613 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:39,920 Right. 614 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,400 And ever since she told me that I was like, that's true. 615 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,400 Yeah. 616 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:44,400 It really isn't a big deal. 617 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,400 Yeah. 618 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,560 You know, you're making small things big. 619 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:48,560 Yeah. 620 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,720 And like, why didn't you do this or why? 621 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,680 Cause Oh, I know. 622 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:54,680 Okay. 623 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,560 So I also heard this one time. 624 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:57,560 Okay. 625 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,200 I might make sure if I say this right. 626 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:00,200 Love. 627 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,200 What is it like? 628 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,520 I love something without anything in return. 629 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:05,520 Okay. 630 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,560 I'm saying it wrong, but it's something like that. 631 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:08,560 Yeah. 632 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:13,560 I love him and serve him without expecting anything in return. 633 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:14,560 Yeah. 634 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,360 You know, that's not the right, I remember the words. 635 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:17,360 You know what I'm talking about? 636 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,360 Yeah. 637 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,360 That's good. 638 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:20,360 You're saying that good. 639 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,360 Yeah. 640 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:22,360 And so I do that. 641 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:25,640 And I think that people say 50 50 it's 100, 100. 642 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:30,640 And let's see when, but I think you women, what are we? 643 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:34,200 We're kind of like, I don't know if I'm, I don't know. 644 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,560 I feel like I'm just fumbling over my words. 645 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:37,560 You're doing great. 646 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:38,560 Okay. 647 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:39,560 No, you're doing great. 648 00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:40,560 So, but we're responders. 649 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:41,560 Women are responders. 650 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,560 Yes. 651 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,560 You know, but I think if you, but if you're treating him right, they're also the same. 652 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:46,560 Yeah. 653 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:47,560 I feel like I'm falling over myself. 654 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:48,560 I think you did good. 655 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:49,560 Yeah. 656 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:50,560 Okay. 657 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:51,560 Yeah. 658 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:52,560 That's making sense. 659 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,640 But I like that. 660 00:27:54,640 --> 00:28:00,560 There's another scripture, James 3 16, I think it says where, 661 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:04,480 uh, there's envy and selfish ambition. 662 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,600 There's evil work that's present. 663 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:12,400 And so when we start getting our eyes on ourself, there's a little bit of selfish ambition. 664 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,960 And I think that's one way we can tend our garden. 665 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:20,920 If I'm, if I'm more concerned about me instead of serving her or loving her as Christ loves 666 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:25,080 the church, then there's, there's some selfish ambition. 667 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,680 And that means God's going to have to pluck something from my life because where there's 668 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:34,240 selfish ambition, there's every evil work and man do, I don't want that in my life and 669 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,960 I can be selfish. 670 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,800 So in order for me to get rid of my selfishness, I got to go to God and say, God wash me of 671 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:45,640 my selfishness, you know, and that way it can help me wash her as my wife. 672 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,640 Yeah. 673 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,080 I think there was a, there's a story. 674 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:52,720 I remember when the kids were little and of course he would come home about what five 675 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,800 o'clock ish, you know? 676 00:28:54,800 --> 00:29:00,000 And we would always be in the middle of baths and food dinners and whatever else, but it's 677 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,240 always chaotic that time of day we have small kids. 678 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,880 And he, and I would be like, can you pick a kid and help me? 679 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,880 And he just got off work. 680 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:13,480 So, and then I think we sat down one day, we just sat, we're like, and a friend of his 681 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:18,520 was speaking to his life and his wife was speaking into my life, two really good people. 682 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,200 I wish I knew what happened to them. 683 00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:26,200 We, they moved away, but he tells Bob, this is halftime. 684 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,160 So on your way home from work, this is halftime. 685 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:33,360 And then I had to come to respect, okay, he just needs a little downtime. 686 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:34,360 Yeah. 687 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:39,600 So both of us had to come to a respect level, you know, like, so he, you know, to try and, 688 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,120 I mean, and I would say, I'm tired. 689 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:46,240 I've been doing, I'm, I don't get a minute from these kids, you know? 690 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:49,760 And I'm like, could you like just take one and wash them, you know, help me here? 691 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,200 But at the same time, I had to respect. 692 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,600 And I think when I approached it, more like serving him, try to have dinner on the table 693 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:57,600 when he got home. 694 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:58,600 Yeah. 695 00:29:58,600 --> 00:29:59,600 I'm not so good at that now, but. 696 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:00,600 We're empty nesters now. 697 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,600 We're empty nesters and half the time, I don't even know what we want. 698 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:10,600 I have lots of fish in the fridge and I don't know how to cook it. 699 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:11,600 And he's out most nights. 700 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,600 He works a lot. 701 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:13,600 He does. 702 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,860 And so that's what I just try to keep. 703 00:30:15,860 --> 00:30:20,240 And then I also, I always think in my mind, I want him to have a soft place to land at 704 00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:21,240 the end of the day. 705 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:22,240 That's so good. 706 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:23,240 Yeah. 707 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:24,240 So I learned to be that for him. 708 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,640 And he, so we came together that that was a good, yeah. 709 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:27,640 Yeah. 710 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,640 And a lot of times a man can come home and find everything wrong or she didn't do that 711 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:32,640 one thing. 712 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,040 I mean, he can do 99 things right. 713 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:39,600 That one thing you didn't do, I can sit there and focus on that one thing or I can say, 714 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,840 wow, I came home, look, she, she washed my clothes. 715 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:43,840 She did the dishes. 716 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:48,200 She, whatever that thing might be is to really, to focus in on that. 717 00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,640 Don't focus in on that one thing they did wrong, but focus in on the 99 things. 718 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,320 And there were some times you might've done 99 things wrong, but I had to focus on the 719 00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,400 one thing that you did do right. 720 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:02,840 You know, and to, and to focus on that and to build from there on your marriage. 721 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,120 And I think that's what that was. 722 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,680 The bricks that build the, build the house is to be thankful. 723 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:08,680 Yeah. 724 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,160 That lady had told me she's like, try to have a safe. 725 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:11,640 And I did try to do better. 726 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:15,720 Like have the kids bathe before he got home, have dinner ready. 727 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:20,600 And I, and I got, and it actually does when you cert, when you put your, your heart off 728 00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,040 of yourself and onto them, it, it does it somehow. 729 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,040 It makes it better. 730 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,040 Yeah. 731 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,040 It's not about me. 732 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,040 Yeah. 733 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:33,120 And, and some, and sometimes it is, it's that reminding of, you know, what, what do we focus 734 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:37,680 on or can I shift my schedule in a little way? 735 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,320 You know, like, like with bathing kids, it's like, could I do it a little earlier? 736 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,600 Could I maybe do it a little later? 737 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,040 You know, it's, it is, it's that, you know, what, what can I shift? 738 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,720 What can we shift to, to help make things go smoother? 739 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:51,720 Right. 740 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:56,160 You know, and, and also remembering that this is the season, this, this is the season and 741 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,160 it's true. 742 00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,840 And I didn't know that at the time that you think this is my life. 743 00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:04,520 These kids are never going to grow up. 744 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:10,680 I know they've grown up and I'm like, oh, I have leaves in my front door. 745 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:15,240 I always think of this one picture and I had, you know, when we lived in Texas, we had this 746 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,560 lot, that long hallway. 747 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:17,560 Yeah. 748 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:22,280 It was always full of books and projects and cause my kids never hung up their jackets. 749 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,160 They end up in that hallway. 750 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,280 Within one day it was just leaves. 751 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,280 Yeah. 752 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,080 And those kids grow up and they leave and one time. 753 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,560 She's gonna make me cry through this whole thing. 754 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:33,560 Yeah. 755 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,840 And the leaves are when you open the front door and the leaves are blowing the house, 756 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,080 but there's no more, there's no more books there. 757 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,080 There's no more projects. 758 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,960 There's no more jackets on the ground. 759 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,400 You know, it's just now it's back. 760 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,920 I remember people saying that, you know, make sure you put your marriage first because it 761 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:47,920 comes back to you guys. 762 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:50,920 And I thought that's never going to happen. 763 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,680 And here we are. 764 00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,360 And now I'm glad we've built that. 765 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,400 We did the hard way. 766 00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,640 Well, we just didn't have a lot, you know. 767 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:05,200 So yeah, we were hot messes, but I'm glad I'm very thankful. 768 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,200 It was worth it. 769 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:07,200 Wasn't it? 770 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,200 Yeah, it was. 771 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,200 It still is. 772 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:14,960 But I know with you guys, because again, you know, Bobby's my brother. 773 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,600 We lived in the same house. 774 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,800 He's seven years older than me, but still. 775 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:26,960 And knowing firsthand that this was not something that was example in front of us. 776 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:27,960 Right. 777 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:33,480 And understanding that you're having to learn this in like, you're going to have to learn 778 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,480 this the hard way. 779 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:42,600 You have to figure this out yourself on top of breaking off just patterns that are not 780 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:48,000 healthy and learning how to be a man of God and learning how to be a father and all of 781 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000 the things. 782 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:58,920 And so it's like, what would you say to somebody that is coming from a space where they didn't 783 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,920 have that example? 784 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:07,800 I would say surround yourself with other men who are willing to speak into your life and 785 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,800 be teachable. 786 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:14,680 And this might sound like a spiritual answer, but it's a truth. 787 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,560 Fall in love with the Holy Spirit. 788 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:21,800 I mean, and somebody that doesn't know Jesus or know the person of the Holy Spirit, that 789 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,640 might sound like a little off the wall. 790 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:28,520 But that's really my answer. 791 00:34:28,520 --> 00:34:33,240 It's because all the things I've done wrong, the Lord would prick my heart. 792 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:37,160 The Holy Spirit say, no, you're not loving your wife as you're supposed to. 793 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,160 You're not- 794 00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,160 And I'm not serving my husband as I'm supposed to. 795 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,160 Yeah. 796 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:42,520 Or, hey, you're making your kids angry. 797 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:45,160 You shouldn't taunt them to get them angry. 798 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,480 Just little stuff like that. 799 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,040 And open up your heart to people in your life. 800 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:54,600 Like Luke could come up to me, hey, Bob, man, you shouldn't have said what you said. 801 00:34:54,600 --> 00:35:00,000 And then I would love Luke even more for that because he was walking with me through life. 802 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,000 So that would- 803 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000 Yeah. 804 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000 Dawn, same question. 805 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000 Yeah. 806 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:10,840 Build yourself around people that you trust that are going to know that you can share 807 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,280 your dirty laundry and they're not going to judge you for it. 808 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:14,280 Yes. 809 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,280 That's what you know. 810 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,800 But yeah, at the same time, tell you the truth. 811 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:18,800 Yeah. 812 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,880 It's like, be honest with you. 813 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:25,240 Find those women, godly women that can speak into your life. 814 00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:26,240 Yeah. 815 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:27,960 And find older women and listen to them. 816 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:28,960 Yeah. 817 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,920 Learn from their, you know, that's like I say, that one couple that came into our life, 818 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:33,920 that was a turning point. 819 00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:34,920 I love that. 820 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:35,920 And that was where it's safe and I. 821 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:36,920 Yeah. 822 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,920 I love that. 823 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,920 Find people that will help you sort your laundry. 824 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,920 That's a good way to put it. 825 00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:45,920 I like that. 826 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:46,920 Yeah. 827 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:47,920 Help you with your dirty laundry. 828 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,920 So you don't have to shove it all in at once. 829 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:51,920 Yeah. 830 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:52,920 Are you better now? 831 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:53,920 Have you taught him how to do laundry? 832 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:54,920 He doesn't do it. 833 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:55,920 It's fine. 834 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:56,920 And it's okay. 835 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:57,920 And it's fine. 836 00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:58,920 It's fine. 837 00:35:58,920 --> 00:35:59,920 It's our dance and we're good. 838 00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:00,920 Yep. 839 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:01,920 Where did that term come from? 840 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:02,920 A friend of mine told me that one time. 841 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:03,920 She said, every marriage has their own dance and only they know the steps. 842 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:04,920 I love that. 843 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:05,920 I'm like, like somebody wouldn't put up with the things I put up with Bob. 844 00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:06,920 Yeah. 845 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:07,920 But that's okay. 846 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:08,920 That's our dance. 847 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:09,920 Yeah. 848 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:10,920 You know, that's our dance. 849 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:11,920 Yeah. 850 00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:12,920 And that's our dance. 851 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:13,920 Yeah. 852 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:14,920 And that's our dance. 853 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:15,920 And that's our dance. 854 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:16,920 And that's our dance. 855 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:17,920 And that's our dance. 856 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,920 And that's our dance. 857 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:21,920 Yeah. 858 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,920 You know, probably people look at you guys, how could they do that? 859 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:24,920 You know, but that's their dance. 860 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:25,920 We do get that a lot. 861 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:26,920 Yeah. 862 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:27,920 Yeah. 863 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:28,920 But it's your dance. 864 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:29,920 Yeah. 865 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,920 It doesn't matter what, you know, but a friend of mine said that one time I thought that 866 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:32,920 was a really good saying. 867 00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:33,920 Yeah. 868 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,920 And I remember thinking that about this one lady. 869 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,920 One time I was watching her and I wouldn't, I could, it drove me crazy. 870 00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:43,920 The things that she would let her husband do to her or like put up with. 871 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:44,920 But I was very young at the time. 872 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:45,920 So it was very judgmental. 873 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,920 But I look back and go, well, it's her dance. 874 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:48,920 I mean, they're still married to stay. 875 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:49,920 Yeah. 876 00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:50,920 But it's their dance. 877 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:51,920 That's okay. 878 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,920 I mean, as long as it's not causing abuse or harm. 879 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:54,920 No, it wasn't abusive. 880 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:56,920 It was just something I wouldn't, you know. 881 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,920 I'm just kind of reiterating it for some of our listeners. 882 00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:00,920 Oh yeah. 883 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:01,920 As long as there's not. 884 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:02,920 No, yeah, not abuse. 885 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:03,920 Any harm. 886 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:04,920 That's good. 887 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:05,920 Yeah. 888 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,920 I know some dances, I don't even know the steps, right? 889 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:08,920 Right. 890 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:09,920 But Dawn does. 891 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:11,920 So she'll step up and she'll feel that step for me. 892 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:12,920 Wow. 893 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:13,920 And that's, that's our dance. 894 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,920 There's some things that Dawn may not know the steps to, but I know the steps to. 895 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,920 So I'll go in there and I'll feel those steps for her. 896 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,920 It's what works within us, within our marriage. 897 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:23,920 Yeah. 898 00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:24,920 It's our dance. 899 00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:25,920 I love that. 900 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:26,920 I love that. 901 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:30,920 And now you guys are setting an example for your children and then your grandchildren. 902 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,920 And they're seeing these things. 903 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,920 And so tell me, do you have any questions? 904 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:37,920 Not yet. 905 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:38,920 Okay. 906 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:39,920 I mean, I've tried to ask it. 907 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:40,920 I want you to ask a question. 908 00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:45,920 No, I know. I mean, I've tried to ask when they come up in the past, like, I just, yeah. 909 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:46,920 Okay. 910 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:48,920 But yeah, I don't have anything pressing right now. 911 00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:49,920 Okay. 912 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:50,920 So it's fun. 913 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:51,920 It's fun to listen to them. 914 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:52,920 It is fun to listen to them. 915 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,920 Because as much as I've been around for, you know, 14 years. 916 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:56,920 Yes. 917 00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:57,920 And I met them. 918 00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,920 It was, wow, that was quite the weekend. 919 00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:00,920 Do you want to tell that story? 920 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:01,920 By all means, tell that story. 921 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:06,920 A weekend where I felt attacked. 922 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:07,920 I liked you. 923 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:08,920 I know you did. 924 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,920 I appreciate that. 925 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,920 I just, I just didn't, I just thought, how's Deena going to afford him? 926 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:15,920 We had to go buy. 927 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:16,920 My husband likes to eat. 928 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:17,920 Yeah. 929 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:18,920 He likes meat. 930 00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:19,920 Yes. 931 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,920 And I was like, oh, we have to go buy more hamburgers and hot dogs and whatever we were 932 00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:24,920 serving. 933 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:25,920 Yeah. 934 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:26,920 It was, yeah. 935 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:27,920 It was, it was the weekend. 936 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:28,920 It was your daughter's. 937 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:29,920 It was a whole week. 938 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:30,920 Oh, was it a whole week? 939 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:31,920 It was a whole week. 940 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:32,920 Yeah. 941 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:33,920 That's why you got expensive. 942 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,920 That's why I got expensive. 943 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:39,920 It was an entire week because we had her birthday, two graduations. 944 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:40,920 Yeah. 945 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:41,920 That's right. 946 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:42,920 Yeah. 947 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,420 And, and when we were recording, she prayed that I would have a good job so that I could 948 00:38:46,420 --> 00:38:49,920 feed myself and I got a good job so I can feed myself. 949 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:50,920 That's good. 950 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:58,920 But it was, it was, yeah, it was, it was that weekend and it was, I think I had met Jan 951 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,920 already, your guys' mom, but I had never met the boys. 952 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,520 Well, I had met Michael because he was going to church with us at the time, but I had never 953 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:10,760 met Randy and Bob and I had never met you and all of a sudden you're like opening your 954 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:16,400 home and, you know, we stayed there and I'm meeting all these people and I'm like, I don't 955 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:17,600 know what I'm getting into. 956 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,920 I was still kind of a brand new Christian at the time. 957 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:20,920 Brand new Christian. 958 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,040 Yeah, because you told me you thought you were going to come and drink, drink beer the 959 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,040 whole time. 960 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,040 Yeah. 961 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:26,040 Because I was like, I was like, well, it's a graduation. 962 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:27,920 We're going to Texas and this is what I'm used to. 963 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:32,040 And everybody, you know, all of a sudden, like at the time, Bob didn't like alcohol 964 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:33,040 in the house. 965 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,040 We were in a dry house. 966 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:35,040 Yeah. 967 00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:42,120 I'm getting all sorts of dirty looks. 968 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,120 And the hundred piercings. 969 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,120 Oh yeah. 970 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:48,400 All the piercings and the tattoos and the weird thoughts on life. 971 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:49,400 And oh yeah. 972 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:50,400 Yeah. 973 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:51,400 It was all sorts of good times. 974 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:52,400 I have grown to love you, Luke. 975 00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,400 I appreciate that. 976 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:54,400 Thank you. 977 00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:59,400 And you don't have to give me $20 later for saying that, but you're a genuine man and 978 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:00,400 that's what I love about you. 979 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,400 I appreciate that. 980 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,400 Yeah. 981 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,400 I did pretty good. 982 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:04,400 Yes, you did. 983 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:05,400 Yeah. 984 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:06,400 Yeah. 985 00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,400 He's good people. 986 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,400 Yeah. 987 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:16,720 But it's, it's, it's that, um, it's that seeing you guys being consistent again, it's, I'm 988 00:40:16,720 --> 00:40:22,800 giving honor where his honor is due because it's like, I had come out of a really rough 989 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:23,800 marriage, right? 990 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:27,360 And then Luke actually coming out of something very similar. 991 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:34,960 And then me sitting him in front of again, two of my favorite people and saying, okay, 992 00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,840 so here's the deal. 993 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,160 Like this is what I am looking for. 994 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,640 I need somebody that love that loves me. 995 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:47,720 Like this guy loves her like that kind of, cause he gets doe-eyed over you. 996 00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:48,720 It's just so cute. 997 00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:49,720 He does the lip quiver. 998 00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:50,720 His little lip quiver. 999 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:51,720 It's been quivering this whole time. 1000 00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:52,720 It's just so sweet. 1001 00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:53,720 When he talks about God or his family. 1002 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:54,720 That's it. 1003 00:40:54,720 --> 00:40:59,400 That's it. 1004 00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:06,560 But then it's like, you guys have also, because again, I'm not trying to be all mushy, but 1005 00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:14,960 I it's you speaking over Michaela, me speaking over Gabri, you going, hi, gorgeous to get 1006 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,400 you to Michaela all the time. 1007 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,200 That's how I learned how to speak to Gabri. 1008 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,880 I'm glad I was there for you. 1009 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,440 You know, it's a hot mess on this side. 1010 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,720 I guess I was kind of good. 1011 00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:31,080 You know, so it's like, but it, but it's that consistency. 1012 00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:32,920 You guys were consistent in the things. 1013 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,640 I do not want my kids to have a bad self. 1014 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,880 I have a low self-esteem, so I did not want my kids to have a low self-esteem. 1015 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:40,880 Yeah. 1016 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,880 Cause I do not. 1017 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:42,880 Yeah. 1018 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:43,880 No, they don't. 1019 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,600 And I'm glad they don't because I had, and I still do fight that. 1020 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,600 Yeah. 1021 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,400 That is still one of my battles and he's always spoken life into me, which I always very much 1022 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:52,400 appreciate. 1023 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:56,080 He's like, stop saying that because I struggle being dyslexic. 1024 00:41:56,080 --> 00:42:00,080 I struggle with my, I'm stupid, you know, things like that, you know, and he'll go, 1025 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,080 don't do that. 1026 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,080 He doesn't. 1027 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:03,080 He's always encouraged me. 1028 00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:04,080 Never. 1029 00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:05,080 Everyone's put me down. 1030 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,080 Yeah. 1031 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,040 But no, no, that's good. 1032 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,040 Yeah. 1033 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,040 What other questions do you have? 1034 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,040 Like keep rolling. 1035 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:15,040 Yeah. 1036 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:16,040 I think that's it. 1037 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:17,040 No, it's just. 1038 00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:18,040 Yeah. 1039 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:22,320 What, what, what husband would want to put their, their wife? 1040 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:23,320 Come on, sir. 1041 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:24,320 Talk to that. 1042 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:25,320 You know what I mean? 1043 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,320 Yep. 1044 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:27,320 Why would they want to do that? 1045 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:28,320 Yeah. 1046 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,320 That's foolish. 1047 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,320 Yeah. 1048 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:35,880 That's like, I don't know how to say it, but like put manure on, on your, on your spouse. 1049 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:36,880 Come on. 1050 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,320 When we're not supposed to do that, we're supposed to wash them with the words that 1051 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:43,920 we speak with the encouragements that we say, who would want to do that? 1052 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,320 You know, but once in a while, something will happen. 1053 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:47,320 He'll go, was that a big rock? 1054 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:48,320 I thought that was a big rock. 1055 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,320 Tell me what that means. 1056 00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:57,800 Like, um, I can't think of a, sometimes I'll get tired and I might say something a little 1057 00:42:57,800 --> 00:42:59,720 sharp or something like that. 1058 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:03,920 And it's like, I threw a little pebble at her and it, to me it was a pebble. 1059 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:08,760 And then I'll look at the her facial expression and I'll say, that wasn't a pebble. 1060 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,680 That was a boulder. 1061 00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,560 So now I've got to turn around and say, honey, how big of a rock was that? 1062 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,320 She'll say that one hurt. 1063 00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,880 And I'll have to say, would you forgive me? 1064 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,880 You know, then I go, I understand it, but it's still hurt. 1065 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,440 You know, I know you're tired. 1066 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:25,560 I know you're hungry or whatever it is. 1067 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:29,880 And I'll look at him and he'll, but he does, he'll try to, he'll like, I've pleased for, 1068 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:30,880 you know, which. 1069 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:31,880 Yeah. 1070 00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:32,880 That's probably another thing. 1071 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:33,880 That's not him. 1072 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:34,880 Yeah. 1073 00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:40,320 You know, it's humility when you mess up, say I messed up, you know? 1074 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:46,240 And the quickness, the recognition and the quickness of, you know, I mean, again, as 1075 00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:50,180 you're said it, you know, as you're saying it, you can feel it like leaving and you see 1076 00:43:50,180 --> 00:43:54,680 her face and it's like, Oh, I want to take that back, but I can't. 1077 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:56,280 It already hit you. 1078 00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:57,280 So yeah. 1079 00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:01,440 But yeah, that, that instant recognition of, you know, don't wait until, don't wait until 1080 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:05,640 after dinner to have this conversation of I'm sorry I hurt you, but you know, right 1081 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,120 in the moment of. 1082 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,120 Yeah. 1083 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,120 Yeah. 1084 00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:10,120 Yeah. 1085 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,120 Yeah. 1086 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,560 I like that. 1087 00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:15,840 But you know, 36 years is a long time. 1088 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:21,640 So we've, we've learned a lot, you know, on how not to do things. 1089 00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:22,640 That comes with time. 1090 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:27,120 A lot of that comes with like, okay, you're going to still throw rocks here and there. 1091 00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:28,120 Sure. 1092 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,880 You know, because sometimes something just didn't hit you right or whatever. 1093 00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:35,160 I mean, they're very far, very rare, far and few between a lot of our fights. 1094 00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,880 I think we realized have come with misunderstandings. 1095 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:38,880 Yeah. 1096 00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:43,040 I, you hear me say blue, blue, blue, but I was meaning red or vice versa. 1097 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:44,040 What did you hear me say? 1098 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,040 Yeah. 1099 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,720 I was like, what do you think I was meaning? 1100 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:49,320 Cause and I was like, well, I thought you were saying this. 1101 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:50,320 Yeah. 1102 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:51,320 That's not what I meant. 1103 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:52,320 Yeah. 1104 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,400 You know, and he goes, my heart and it means for it to come out that way. 1105 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:56,400 I like that. 1106 00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,400 So. 1107 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,920 And then when my heart did mean it for it to come out that way, I had to be quick to 1108 00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:01,920 repent. 1109 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:02,920 Yeah. 1110 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:03,920 Vice versa. 1111 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:05,920 I mean, we're both, we're in this together. 1112 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:06,920 Yeah. 1113 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:07,920 That's good. 1114 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,320 No, I love that. 1115 00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,360 Tell me nuggets. 1116 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:17,840 Tell me, tell me one or two nuggets that you guys would want to leave with our listeners. 1117 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:18,840 Keep talking. 1118 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:23,960 Don't even if you're mad, keep talking, work through it. 1119 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,760 Listen, listen to each other. 1120 00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:27,760 Yeah. 1121 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:28,760 Someone's saying something. 1122 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:35,840 Be, you know, make sure you're hearing them and have a servant's heart without expecting 1123 00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:36,840 anything in return. 1124 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,840 I like, I wish I could think of that exact first, that little thing. 1125 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,040 I can't think of it. 1126 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:45,040 I'll think of it after this podcast. 1127 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,040 You will. 1128 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,040 Yeah. 1129 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,720 As soon as I hit stop, you're going to be like, Oh. 1130 00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:55,960 I would, I would probably say the nugget for me would be, uh, don't get offended. 1131 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,080 Don't get offended about anything. 1132 00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,360 I can walk in the house and begin offended. 1133 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:01,360 Other kids are screaming. 1134 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,480 You want to kick the dog, had a hard day at work. 1135 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:05,480 Don't be offended. 1136 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:06,480 Just, just love. 1137 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,480 Cause love doesn't take offense to anything. 1138 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:17,200 Love gives it gives, it gives, it gives, it gives, it gives, and it never takes. 1139 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:23,760 And that's hard to do when you're tired or, you know, or sick or whatever you're going 1140 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:24,760 through in that life. 1141 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:25,760 It's hard. 1142 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,120 You say, how can I make my home better? 1143 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:29,980 Just go with that mentality. 1144 00:46:29,980 --> 00:46:35,480 So I think that would probably be one of my gold nuggets is don't be offended and love, 1145 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,680 love, love, love, love. 1146 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,400 When you are tired, you just express it. 1147 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:41,400 You have the conversation. 1148 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:42,920 I see it again. 1149 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,880 It's like, I watch you guys again. 1150 00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:50,280 I've had the privilege of watching from the sidelines and I see how very gentle you guys 1151 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:51,280 are. 1152 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,800 I also see how very, um, Nope. 1153 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,300 This is what we're going to do. 1154 00:46:55,300 --> 00:46:57,080 You guys can be, you know what I mean? 1155 00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:06,240 Like being able to say, like, instead of just assuming something of another person, you 1156 00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:12,480 guys are very gentle and very, I just watch how you, how do I want to say it? 1157 00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:17,500 It's almost like I, I watch you guys command a room, but at the same time, when it comes 1158 00:47:17,500 --> 00:47:24,800 to the two of you, I watch both of you kind of just very gently like bow to each other. 1159 00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:25,800 Do you know what I mean? 1160 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:29,400 Like just service on purpose, service on purpose. 1161 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,400 That's a good one. 1162 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:31,660 Like a service on purpose. 1163 00:47:31,660 --> 00:47:35,320 You know, it's, it's, I'm going to take care of you. 1164 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,360 You, she, she takes care of you. 1165 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:44,880 You walk in, it's not like you're expecting, but it's at the same time knowing that, Hey, 1166 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,600 this isn't getting done. 1167 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,920 Don, are you okay? 1168 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:50,240 What can I do for you, sweetheart? 1169 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:56,840 I've watched you, you know, it's like if something, so it's like understanding. 1170 00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:04,320 I watch you with my brother, like going through the cancer, going through the stuff, right? 1171 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:11,840 Like he's not okay, but like you going, okay, something you said it, you may not have the 1172 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,280 steps for it, but she does. 1173 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:18,000 And you allow her the space to come and step in. 1174 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,560 And I think that that's beautiful. 1175 00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:26,000 That's that is what has been, uh, whenever the 36, you know, and he's going and doing 1176 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:31,680 his ministry and the things and, you know, you're like, Tina, we were such a train wreck. 1177 00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,720 And I said, but that's what's so beautiful about your story. 1178 00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:35,720 Oh yeah. 1179 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:42,880 Because you guys, because God made such beauty from ashes and watching what he's done in 1180 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,880 your lives. 1181 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:49,560 And it's like, because I believe you guys have allowed each other to grow. 1182 00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:54,440 You've allowed each other to, um, let go of stuff. 1183 00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:56,520 You've you've been humble enough. 1184 00:48:56,520 --> 00:49:01,600 And I, it's like, I'm repeating everything that you guys have said, but I, I, I, I, I 1185 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:05,960 do, I want to honor you guys and just say like every, you guys are who you are. 1186 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:06,960 You are true blue. 1187 00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,200 What you say is what you get. 1188 00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:10,240 This is who you guys are. 1189 00:49:10,240 --> 00:49:16,200 And my prayer is that people take and glean from you guys. 1190 00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:17,880 Like it's time for you to write a book. 1191 00:49:17,880 --> 00:49:23,000 It's time for you to write a book about the journey that God has taken you guys through 1192 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,760 because you're not an anomaly. 1193 00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:33,320 Like there's others out there that need to know how to get through, even if it's, you 1194 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:40,880 know, like a, an emotional affair to get through the, the anger, the stuff, right? 1195 00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:44,840 Like to get through the trust, the trash. 1196 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:45,840 That's it. 1197 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:46,840 Right? 1198 00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:48,680 Like they, what is like, what does that look like? 1199 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:49,680 How did that? 1200 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:53,720 And we, and we don't have enough time to have that big conversation, but it's like, I believe 1201 00:49:53,720 --> 00:49:59,240 with everything in me that you guys have these jewels and that's who we need to be as the 1202 00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:02,240 people of God in the kingdom of God. 1203 00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:09,320 Because I was telling Dawn, like we got literally people divorcing in churches more so now than 1204 00:50:09,320 --> 00:50:10,800 any people out in the world. 1205 00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:11,800 Like it's crazy. 1206 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,640 The divorce rate, the divorce rate is like off the chart. 1207 00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:19,840 And it's, and I believe it's because they're going after the symptoms as opposed to the 1208 00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:20,840 root. 1209 00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:21,840 Let's deal with the root. 1210 00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:22,840 Let's figure this out. 1211 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:24,480 Like that grass is not greener anywhere else. 1212 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:25,480 It's not greener in you. 1213 00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:26,960 You need to tend to your garden. 1214 00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,560 Man, I loved, I love that. 1215 00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:34,240 Like tend to the garden, you know, figure this out. 1216 00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:39,000 Don't stop and then stay consistent and then do the hard. 1217 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,360 I love that you're, you guys are telling, you know, like we're up till two and we're 1218 00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:44,580 just, we're talking about the hard. 1219 00:50:44,580 --> 00:50:51,400 Get into the hard, know that it's only hard for a minute, but it'll start getting easier. 1220 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,120 Bringing it to the light. 1221 00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:54,600 You can't keep things in the dark. 1222 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:55,600 Yeah. 1223 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,520 Cause as soon as I did, it was like, as soon as we started talking about the dark, yeah, 1224 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:01,760 that I was bringing to the light, it did. 1225 00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,800 It started, it just started blooming. 1226 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:04,800 Yeah. 1227 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:05,800 We were started healing. 1228 00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,520 It allowed me to, it allowed me to trust again too. 1229 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:09,520 See? 1230 00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:10,520 That's awesome. 1231 00:51:10,520 --> 00:51:12,520 And that was a two sided cooling. 1232 00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:15,800 What happened with her helped, like come on. 1233 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:20,080 How much are we leaving each other bound if we don't deal with the things inside of us? 1234 00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:25,480 We're, we're literally binding the people around us by, by our own insecurities, our 1235 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:31,000 own faults, our own failures, our own stuff, as opposed to just, man, let me just get this 1236 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:32,540 out. 1237 00:51:32,540 --> 00:51:36,040 You know, because once you bring it to the light, like you said, Dawn, like it loses 1238 00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:37,040 its power. 1239 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:38,040 Yes. 1240 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:39,040 It's the stronghold starts. 1241 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,040 It's like, Oh, I've been found out. 1242 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:42,040 Shoot. 1243 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:43,040 You know, I got, Oh crap. 1244 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,040 Okay. 1245 00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:45,480 Well, I'm going to scurry off now. 1246 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:49,680 Well, it hurt me that I would, for me, I was like, 1247 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:50,960 I didn't want to hurt him. 1248 00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:51,960 Sure. 1249 00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:56,480 I mean, I remember just like, I didn't want to, cause I felt like if it came out, I would 1250 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:57,480 hurt him. 1251 00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:01,080 Matter of fact, I was like going to church and I was like worshiping and I was trying 1252 00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,080 to every, I was trying to fight it myself. 1253 00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:04,080 Yeah. 1254 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,680 And he was like, something's not right. 1255 00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:09,480 We were going to CFNI on Friday nights, like worshiping. 1256 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,720 And I was, I was trying to CFNI is Christ for the nations. 1257 00:52:12,720 --> 00:52:13,720 It was a Bible school. 1258 00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:14,720 We went to in Dallas. 1259 00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:15,720 Yeah. 1260 00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:21,280 But yeah, and then we, I was trying everything to do it myself and it wasn't working. 1261 00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,520 It was just heavy on my heart. 1262 00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,240 I was trying to, God helped me. 1263 00:52:24,240 --> 00:52:30,360 I was trying to go through a book that it was the one that you took with Jason. 1264 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:31,360 Every man's battle. 1265 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:32,360 Oh yeah. 1266 00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:33,360 Every man's battle. 1267 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,360 They have an every woman's battle book. 1268 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:35,360 I love that. 1269 00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,800 And I was trying to go through that book by myself and you, and you do, you need people. 1270 00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:39,800 Yes. 1271 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:41,160 You need positive people in your life. 1272 00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:42,160 People that can, yeah. 1273 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,160 Keep your feet to the fire. 1274 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:46,200 But I was trying to do that still all by myself. 1275 00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:47,200 Yeah. 1276 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,200 It wasn't working. 1277 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:49,520 You can't do it by yourself. 1278 00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:53,520 I was fighting this battle thinking I can make, I can figure this out. 1279 00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:57,480 But, and he knew, he knew something was going on, but he just didn't know what, and this 1280 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:58,480 went on for months. 1281 00:52:58,480 --> 00:52:59,480 Yeah. 1282 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,080 I said about three or four months, maybe even a year. 1283 00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:03,080 I don't know. 1284 00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:04,080 It was a long time. 1285 00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:05,080 Yeah. 1286 00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:09,080 And then finally it then went, but sure enough, soon as it came out, sorry. 1287 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:12,080 We got through it. 1288 00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,200 And it's so worth it. 1289 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,200 It is. 1290 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,200 It's nice when you're on the other side. 1291 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:17,200 Yeah. 1292 00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,200 It really is. 1293 00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:19,200 I don't say that to be mushy. 1294 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:20,200 No. 1295 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,200 It's good. 1296 00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:22,200 We're in a good place. 1297 00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:23,200 We're in a really good place. 1298 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:26,440 It's a love that I've never experienced before and it grows more every day. 1299 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:27,440 And it really does. 1300 00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:28,440 Yeah. 1301 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:29,440 And that's a true statement. 1302 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:30,440 Yeah. 1303 00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:32,440 You make his heart pitter patter. 1304 00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,440 He makes my heart pitter patter. 1305 00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:36,440 I truly do. 1306 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:37,440 I love him more and more every day. 1307 00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:40,440 If you can love another person more and more every day, you can. 1308 00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:41,440 I do. 1309 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:42,440 I don't know what happened, but- 1310 00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:47,480 There's some days I want to put a knot on her head, but most days... I'm sure it's 1311 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:48,480 vice versa. 1312 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:49,480 Yeah. 1313 00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:50,480 I don't have that feeling to do it all. 1314 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:51,480 Probably more vice versa sometimes. 1315 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:52,480 There are days. 1316 00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:53,480 No, it's good. 1317 00:53:53,480 --> 00:54:00,080 You guys are away from each other a lot. 1318 00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:04,360 My big brother has a really cool business that unfortunately gets you on the road a 1319 00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:05,360 lot. 1320 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:09,960 So out of the 20 plus years that you have been doing this business, how do you guys 1321 00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:14,200 keep this really great, mushy love alive? 1322 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:15,200 We flirt a lot. 1323 00:54:15,200 --> 00:54:16,200 I love that. 1324 00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:17,200 We do. 1325 00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:18,200 We flirt on the phone. 1326 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:19,200 Yeah. 1327 00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:21,360 So we'll call each other and stuff like that. 1328 00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:22,360 We still flirt. 1329 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:23,360 Yeah. 1330 00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:24,360 Yeah. 1331 00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:25,720 And when we're together, we make it count. 1332 00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:26,720 Yeah. 1333 00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:27,720 I love that. 1334 00:54:27,720 --> 00:54:30,640 We make sure that, yeah, we do. 1335 00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,280 She truly is my best friend. 1336 00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:33,320 I can truly say that. 1337 00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,920 I always say the worst thing and best thing about us is that we like being around each 1338 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,440 other because we get nothing bad together. 1339 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:45,040 One of your listeners right now might be saying, I can't say that about my spouse right now. 1340 00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:46,400 They're truly not my best friend. 1341 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,520 In fact, I don't even like them right now. 1342 00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:49,520 Yeah. 1343 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,520 And they're doing that. 1344 00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:52,320 And that's what we had a journey through. 1345 00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:55,280 I mean, there's times I didn't like her at all. 1346 00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:56,280 Yeah. 1347 00:54:56,280 --> 00:55:00,080 But you got to work through it and you got to choose not to be selfish. 1348 00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:01,400 You got to choose to serve. 1349 00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:05,480 You got to choose to keep speaking life over them. 1350 00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:06,680 That's the thing that'll make it grow. 1351 00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,360 You got to water the tree. 1352 00:55:08,360 --> 00:55:11,280 You can't take an axe to the tree and start hitting it. 1353 00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:12,280 You got to water it. 1354 00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,680 You got to water it by God's word. 1355 00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,280 You got to water it by words of affirmation. 1356 00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,640 Just even flirting. 1357 00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:21,200 That's watering the tree also. 1358 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,280 And praying together, even praying together. 1359 00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:29,480 They say that praying together is even stronger than intimacy. 1360 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:30,480 I agree with that. 1361 00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:31,480 Yeah. 1362 00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:35,560 I remember at CFNI, they would say, be careful when you're praying with the opposite sex. 1363 00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:36,560 I agree with that. 1364 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:37,920 Because that is almost stronger. 1365 00:55:37,920 --> 00:55:40,040 And I love it when we pray together. 1366 00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:41,040 I really do. 1367 00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:44,360 It's like, take my hands every morning and pray with me. 1368 00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:45,360 We try to. 1369 00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:46,960 We're not always good at that, but we try. 1370 00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:47,960 Yeah. 1371 00:55:47,960 --> 00:55:48,960 I mean that. 1372 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:50,960 And I even put it out, we have a room now. 1373 00:55:50,960 --> 00:55:52,960 We try to make it our prayer room. 1374 00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:53,960 Yeah. 1375 00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:54,960 And so, but that's true. 1376 00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:55,960 I love that. 1377 00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:56,960 That's awesome. 1378 00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:57,960 Do you have anything else? 1379 00:55:57,960 --> 00:55:58,960 No, that's it. 1380 00:55:58,960 --> 00:55:59,960 I like them, yeah. 1381 00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:00,960 They're cool. 1382 00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:01,960 We should keep them. 1383 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:02,960 We're cool. 1384 00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:07,960 Did you say we're cool, baby? 1385 00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:13,800 I thought we were old. 1386 00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:14,800 Old and cool. 1387 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:15,800 Old and cool. 1388 00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:16,800 Yeah. 1389 00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:17,800 I appreciate you guys. 1390 00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:19,800 Oh, well, thank you for having us. 1391 00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:20,800 Yeah, this was fun. 1392 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,560 This was fun. 1393 00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:24,160 I'm looking forward to their book. 1394 00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,160 Yes, their book's going to be amazing. 1395 00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:27,160 It's going to be a bestseller. 1396 00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:28,160 Yes. 1397 00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,160 They're going to change so many lives. 1398 00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:31,160 Listen. 1399 00:56:31,160 --> 00:56:33,160 They're going to be the same thing they already have. 1400 00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:34,160 Sir. 1401 00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:35,160 All right, guys. 1402 00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,400 Have the best week. 1403 00:56:37,400 --> 00:57:04,200 Enjoy the journey.