Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided.
Hi, I totally blanked on what I'm saying.
You're Luke and I'm Dean'na.
That's it, yes.
That part, yes.
So I'm going to be honest with you, I think the reason why it threw you is because you
had eye contact with me.
And I'm sitting in a different space than I usually am when we are recording.
And I genuinely do think that that threw you just enough.
Because I'm sitting where I usually sit with the girls when we record.
But I'm cocked just enough to where I can see you because usually I can't see you very
well.
I do my best to hide.
I do my best to hide when I'm just sound engineer.
Yep, separates us.
And so I move myself around just enough to where I'm like, okay, I can see you.
And then I started to move back the other way and you're like, no, don't do that.
And I was like, oh, I'm moving back now.
And you're like, no, let me finish my sentence.
I was like, I'm already here.
So here I am.
Yes.
Because you're trying to figure out where to put cameras and things of that nature.
Because we still have audience people and listeners that still want to see our sweet
faces.
We have a mama Karen that's asking, when's that going to start?
When's that going to happen?
And we have one so far and we probably might need to get one more before we start getting
really moving.
Otherwise it's going to be kind of a-
I have a list.
A static shot as far as just the videos on us.
And so sorry guys, I was snapping at Sparks.
So yeah, so the first thing that you said before you hit record is I just have a lot
on my brain because we have not recorded and we have not been heard from since Christmas
Eve.
Yes.
So happy new year everybody.
Happy new year.
Happy new president.
Happy new everything.
New chapter.
New everything.
Yeah.
And I think that that's what's been going on in our world.
A lot of it is just you've got a lot on your brain.
I have a lot on my brain.
Our book is now officially ready to be-
Yeah.
Taking your vitamins is we're like one step away from officially having it out on an internet
website so y'all can just purchase it.
Yeah.
We had to tweak it just while I say you got to tweak it just enough because it looked
a little, just a little enough wonky.
There was like a printing, yeah, like the trim marks were showing up on the pages.
So we had to tweak that.
But now that I know what to tweak and how to tweak it, I'm going to do that with our
next book.
And so that should be, I'll be working on that this week.
And then we'll upload that and then go through the process and then-
And that's going to be a devotional.
It's a six week to reduce?
Eight.
We did get it up to eight.
Okay.
We kept going back and forth.
That's why you hear a little bit of our confusion.
Yeah.
Mine mostly.
But eight week devotional and it's called, we have it titled, Enjoying the Journey.
Yes.
And it is a play off of what Luke says all the time, but it's true.
And it's going to be just fundamental truths and some things that we've learned along
the way on our marriage journey and being a family.
And I will say for those tracking goals, all of the writing was done by the end of December.
All the writing was done by the end of December.
Because that was it.
It's now just the formatting and uploading it.
So yeah, so probably in two, three weeks, we'll be able to announce, hey, here's a link
that you can buy these books.
Yeah.
So yeah.
That'll be exciting.
That will be exciting.
It's really cool.
I mean, I like that every time we revamp taking your vitamins, we add just a little bit more,
a little bit more.
And so for those of y'all that have gotten the head start copy, it doesn't look too,
too much different.
But there is a...
We added some note pages.
We did because I don't know.
I think I was just in my brain.
The way that I read, I mean, you watch and you see, literally have a book on our bed
right now with a notebook.
And I take notes as I'm reading things.
And it takes forever for me to read things because I digest it.
Like I chew on it.
I work it out.
I figure it out, think it out, talk it out, tell you what I'm reading, what my thoughts
are, get your opinion.
And then it's like, and then start writing things down again.
And so it just like, eat the meat, but spit out the bones kind of thing.
Because again, not everything is worth consuming, but it just seems like it takes me a little
bit longer.
And I was like, that would be kind of a cool thing to do with our book.
And it is a fairly small one.
It's a booklet or whatever they call it.
But we wanted to create a space where people could actually just write in the book while
they're...
Even with their spouse.
Almost kind of like a little mini devotional, but not really.
But yes.
But it's more of a, what are your thoughts about this chapter?
What are your thoughts about what you just read type thing?
We...
I am a visual learner.
I'm somebody that writes things out.
And I know that I'm not the only person like that.
And I've learned through time, through practice, through my own experience, that as I write
things out, as I take the time, I have a tendency to consume it more.
Not just consume it, but put it into practice.
And it starts becoming the tapestry of who I am.
And so I think that that's our big thing.
We want people to be able to pull things from our stories, from the wisdom that we believe
that God has given us and that we've learned over almost 13 years.
And being able to help people apply those in ways that...
Okay, you don't have to look like Luke and Dina, but here, maybe gleam this nugget or
two, so that way we can help patch up your boat so you don't capsize.
Or even if it's, you take this idea that we put and you're like, hey, I could tweak that.
Or that makes me think of this other idea that I can really incorporate into my marriage,
into my relationship.
And it's like, okay, cool.
If our books, if our podcasts, if our thoughts, what we put out there, if that serves as a
jumping off point for somebody else, I'm excited about that.
I know we've said it from the beginning.
We don't wanna be the authority.
We don't wanna be the end all be all.
We don't wanna have the answers.
But we wanna get people starting conversations.
We wanna get thoughts started.
If we can hand out advice, I mean, granted, we're to a degree giving unsolicited advice
because nobody's asked us to do this.
It's true.
I mean, people have, but nobody asked us to pry.
But again, it's like, if you can take...
If what we're saying, if what we're writing, if what you're seeing, for those of you that
see us, if we can just get the process started, if we can get your mind thinking, and it's
just...
Again, I had somebody just this past weekend look at me and say, hey, I'm thinking about
starting a podcast this year.
Oh, no way.
I might tap you for ideas.
Yeah.
Because we've done it.
Yeah.
That's like, okay.
I love that.
Yeah.
Because it's...
If we can help people, let's do it.
Absolutely.
I mean, we helped Cecil and Marcia get started.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I think it's kind of funny because it's like, I wouldn't so much say that we get to be people
that inspire other people.
I mean, that's a really sweet way of saying it, but I think it's more of...
I like to think of it as, oh, it must be pretty simple if the wances are doing it.
It's not that hard.
It's really not.
We're the equivalent of Mikey?
Yes.
Yeah.
I'll take it.
Because by golly, that's fine.
But yeah, it's like, if we can do it, I mean, anybody can do it.
So it's just getting the stuff together and then just go.
Yeah.
And it's like one of the things that I've heard one of our pastors will say every now
and then is, especially when it comes to talking out of the Bible and stuff, or biblical concepts,
or relationship concepts and stuff like that, it's like, yes, what you're talking on could
have been said by other people, but it hasn't been said from your point of view, from your
experience.
And it's like, again, in my mind, we are not breaking ground and, oh my gosh, look at this
world-changing revelation on communication and marriage.
We are world changers.
We discovered this knowledge that nobody has ever heard of.
Because we follow quite a few other couples that we go, ooh, I really like you.
Oh, I like what you guys...
I found a new couple.
I found a new couple that I don't know their names.
And I apologize.
So I even shamelessly plugged us on their Instagram.
I was going to say, this is online.
Yes.
Well, no, I haven't seen it.
OK.
But I tagged you into it.
OK.
Yeah.
There's a lot of stuff I haven't looked at today.
I noticed.
It's fine.
You worked, not like you don't actually work.
But I went into the office.
But you went into the office where you can't tinker on your phone as much.
But he's English.
She's American.
I don't know where they met.
I'm just now learning this couple.
And they're big fashion people, like influencer kind of people, right?
Which is funny to me because I was like, how did you come across my feed?
Except that you're a married couple.
And I like solid married couples.
We like the tattooed couple, the husband and wife.
And then we have got quite the slew and array of colorful talkers and colorful people.
Colorful people?
Wow.
My mouth didn't want to do that.
So but yeah.
Your mouth doesn't want to be colorful today.
It does not.
But this guy literally, baby, he's literally tatted so much that it looks like he has a
shirt on.
Wow.
And it's intricate, like intricate work.
It literally looks like a shirt with just like sleeves.
Anyway, neither here nor there.
They'll like talk to you while they're getting clothes on.
Yes.
Do you know who I'm talking about?
I think I shot you them.
You might have.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Because like they were like, I want to say they were like not sober.
And then all of a sudden through sobriety, they found Jesus.
And then they found each other.
They found God.
Yes.
And then they found each other and they were celibate.
Yeah.
Because like I think they were both married or something.
I'm going to look.
Okay.
Keep talking.
I'm going to look.
But yeah, they went through while they were dating, they decided to be celibate and all
that.
I think they even talked about they would spend the night at one or the other's house,
but like one would sleep on the floor or the couch while the other would sleep in their
bed.
You know, type thing.
And you know, so it's like not that full separation, but they still saved themselves for each other.
So I know we sent something to you.
But yeah, every now and then I get kind of thrown by the, you know, get dressed with
us date couple.
Yes.
But it's like, I'm not sure how much I want to watch of this, but you guys really, you
guys have fun fashion.
And yeah, it is.
His tattoos are fun.
So anyway, I'm not seeing it.
Okay.
It's fine.
We'll find it again.
But really, really neat couple.
So yeah, they were talking about like first time that they were, you know, today's episode
on their Instagram while they were getting dressed and they have their Gucci and they
have very, very posh.
Oh yeah.
Very nice.
Like I'm looking at their outfits going, um, if this was important to you and I, I think
this is, this is how you and I would dress like very, oh yeah.
Very, um, yes.
Like old school.
Yeah.
But with a new twist, it's almost like the like almost like forties.
Yeah.
Like tweed and all the things that you love.
Okay.
So, um, anyway, he's, he's talking about like, he goes, yeah, I haven't, you know, first
time I ever saw her was in her birthday suit was on our wedding day.
Yeah.
And you know, everybody.
And so I went on and on about, I gave a quick, like it was roughly that big.
I'm showing like three inches worth of my finger space, but I wrote out probably a paragraph
of how we did things.
That's awesome.
And to say that it was really encouraging for me to, and that was why I was like, I'm
going to pull my husband into this conversation and I'm going to do a shameless plug about
our podcast.
And it's not even a shameless plug.
It's just, this is the reason why we started this podcast.
And it was, it was so breath, a breath of fresh air.
I am having, I'm on the struggle bus.
It's fine.
Breath of fresh air today.
Um, to just go, we're not in an anomaly.
So as much as people make us feel like that at times, Oh my gosh, I could never do that.
Like that's crazy.
Like you guys did what?
And it's like, or the, I didn't even know that was an option.
I didn't even know that was an option.
And I thought how beautiful to be able to encounter different people from different
walks of life with different backgrounds, but very similar redemption stories.
Yes.
And, and so anyway, I will, I will have to find, I am.
I'm desperately looking for it.
I can't seem to find it, but that's okay.
Um, because I wanted to, I wanted to say, Hey guys, if you want to follow this couple,
they're really, yeah.
I mean, if they love God, tag them on our stories or something, I will do that.
I will try to, yeah, I will find them and say, you can share their story and journey
with other people because people need to know that we are not the only ones.
Yes.
Like we are not, we are not a magical unicorn.
No.
This is genuinely the way that God designed things from the, from the get-go.
And we, we came a little bit later to the party and be, but because we saw the fruits
and we, because we've, we've seen the benefits of us living our lives like this and starting
our lives like this, like that's, I think that's why you and I are so loud about it.
Yeah.
I think so.
I think that's just simply cause we, we know what we are and that's what I get from this
couple.
Like they knew, they know who they were versus who they are.
And it's like, in, and then having God, and they know who they can be, which is absolutely
beautiful.
So anyway, that was, um, that was a really long, yeah.
And I'm thinking it's the gummy worm that I ate that's making my tongue weird.
Oh, okay.
You know that film?
Yes.
I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Cause my mouth does not want to.
Oh man.
Yep.
She's doing, she's doing weird mouth works.
So we've got a lot going on.
We've had a lot on our plate.
We have missed you guys very much.
Every time that we've thought about, um, coming down here and recording just something else
has been kind of taking precedence.
Um, we're walking into a new season.
Yes.
Um, you are getting back into the groove.
You've got a couple of projects now with woodworking.
Yep.
It has become incredibly blasted cold here.
Yeah.
This morning when I drove to work, my car said it was negative one.
And you, and the fact that you, you said that we, um, cause again, we're in the Kansas city
area.
Yeah.
Uh, we broke a record today.
Yeah.
And this morning the, the low, it w it got down not counting wind chill.
It got down to negative seven.
Insane.
And it has not been that cold since 1935.
And that was not the wind chill.
No.
Yeah.
Negative seven.
And it literally felt like it was like negative 20 something.
Yeah.
To the point where our, our tiny human got, yeah.
Which I do not like, thank you Jesus.
Cause I cannot imagine.
Could you imagine waiting for a bus?
No.
The answer is no.
I mean, just me walking across the parking lot this morning.
You said it literally froze your mustache.
Not even five steps away from my car and like my mustache felt like it was frozen.
That is, it's no joke.
And then I stepped out just long enough to grab some groceries for the rest of the evening
and for the next couple of days.
And it's not anywhere close to as cold as it was.
No.
But I'm like, well, even, no, you said even when you just popped your head out the door
just to grab Amazon boxes off the porch.
Yeah.
I had an Amazon thing on the front porch and I was like, I'm going to grab it.
And it's so funny cause we have a ring camera.
So like you see it.
Yeah.
You're seeing me firsthand and I'm like, oh, literally watching it as it freezes my brain.
Yes.
Like I'm like, why are my eyes?
Why don't my eyes feel like they're ice now?
Why do we live here?
Cause we like it.
We actually do like the cold.
We like the snow.
It's fine.
And then you are going to start a new adventure.
Yes I am.
I'm really excited.
And you came home last night very excited about this.
Yes, I am.
For multiple reasons.
It's been suggested to me, gosh, what two, three years ago, at least.
And I'm finally putting steps and taking action towards it.
But it was suggested to me to try Brazilian jujitsu.
Yeah.
So last night was my trial class, my free class, my free try it out, check it out.
Yeah.
See if you get your butt kicked.
Yeah.
It was interesting.
Yeah.
It was, but it was fun.
And I, yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.
I'm ready to see where this is going to take me.
I discovered, I knew I was out of shape.
Last night revealed to me just how immensely out of shape I am.
But then again, it's like even doing, even when I did go to the gym or, you know, go
for walks and even brisk walks, you know, going at a good clip, you know, even with
with sparks, it was like, I don't, that's a new level.
Cardio is not something that you do a lot of.
No.
But even-
I mean, that's my jam.
Yeah.
You've always been the strength guy.
But it's like, it's like more than cardio.
Oh yeah.
You know?
So it's just, it is.
It's-
It's basically scrappy wrestling.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
And they call it grappling, right?
Yeah.
Grappling.
Well, some of it, yeah, some of it, grappling.
But it's-
But apparently they, when they do their workouts and they're trying and doing, they call it
rolling.
Okay.
Yeah.
So when they, you know, you roll on the mats and it's like, okay.
And you literally on one of your warmups, you were rolling on a mat and trying to push
yourself around and you had to get up because-
I did.
Yeah.
It was a little much.
Yeah.
But that's okay.
I genuinely thought I was going to throw up.
It was awesome.
It was interesting.
You get to start from a new space though.
I do.
But the beautiful thing is, is back on Christmas Eve when we did our podcast, and I want to
say it was that episode, if not that episode that, no, it was the episode before because
our Christmas Eve episode, we had Sebastian with us.
Yeah.
And the episode before, you had said, we need to get to a point in our lives where we wrestle
things out with God.
Yeah.
And then eventually he wins.
Yes.
But you wrestle it.
You don't just lay down on the mat and just let him just pin you.
Yeah.
You literally like Jacob wrestle it out.
And I saw it on your face.
And that is when you said, after we got off the mics, you looked at me and you said, I
think that, babe, I think that's what I need to do.
Yeah.
And then you have gotten a chance to, and I apologize.
I'm just kind of taking your story.
Yeah.
But I'm showing, I want to see it from my point of view because you come home and you're
telling me about the main gentleman.
Yeah.
They have 22 on one of their flags, which is basically, you want to tell them what the
22 is?
Yeah.
And some people say it's like the 22 until none, but the general statistic that is quoted
is 22 veterans commit suicide per day on average.
Yeah.
That's not good, but.
No.
Yeah.
So there's always a lot of awareness.
I mean, I know there's always a lot of awareness around mental health and suicide prevention.
Totally unrelated plug.
I am super excited, regardless of what other people say, that they changed the hotline
to 9-8-8.
Yeah.
So it is something simple that people can remember, but especially veteran suicide awareness,
because that is a community that has really hit hard with mental health struggles and
suicide and just a lot of stuff that happens because they're veterans, because they have
seen and done stuff that a whole lot of normal people will never encounter.
Right.
So yeah.
And so you walked into the arena.
You were able to see that upon the wall.
You were able to communicate to the gentleman and let him know where you were, even mentally
with your mental health and with your physical health, why you were there, because that was
the last thing I said to you before you left the garage.
Very, not sternly, but very loudly and not volume.
Baby, make sure that he knows where you are.
So that way, when the day comes and you are on that mat and the break does come, the breakthrough
does come through the breaking, then he will be aware and able to get you to the other
space of safety.
And when you were telling the story and you said with this gentleman, he says, I do not
understand how men go through life without something of this nature.
And I know that you and a handful of your friends, solid men of God, very strong men
of God, have all come up to the plate and said, we've got to find something for men
to do physically, not just spiritually, like absolutely, let's pray, let's absolutely get
into the face of God, let's absolutely like Jacob.
But something with Jacob, he didn't just bow and hit the floor.
He said, I need you to get something out of me because this thing is going to destroy
me if it doesn't go away.
It is, it's something about men being men of action.
You know, it's that.
And you know, to kind of get the train back on the tracks, if men aren't men of action,
then we can implode or we can explode.
And I mean, I know we have seen it multiple times.
I don't know if we've necessarily talked about it much on this podcast, but a lot of, oftentimes
when men don't have an enemy to attack, don't have a plan of action, don't have an objective
to go towards, to fight towards, they will either implode and attack themselves or they
will explode and they will attack the person closest to them.
That's right.
We've seen, unfortunately, we've seen couples, families almost fall apart.
We've seen couples fall out of church and, you know, almost turn their backs on church
because of this conflict that comes from, you know, and again, it's through no fault
of their own.
You know, this is the amazing way that God designed us, you know, so that we can battle,
so that we can do these hard things and that we can take the fight to the enemy.
I think, unfortunately, in our society, too many people have deemed that bad and now all
of a sudden it's like, well, what are men supposed to do now?
Right.
That's why the enemy wants to emasculate you guys in such a rapid pace.
Yeah.
Why we have seen such an onslaught on men.
You know, we talk about the onslaught of women, like, you know, that just side note, but like
just kind of the, unfortunately, the men wanting to be women and they talk about like how women
are, you know, their sports arenas and different things and the attack on that.
So, once you said that, like all of a sudden, like I know this, but like something dropped
into my spirit and said, no, it's the attack on men.
It's ultimately the attack on men.
When this man is in such a space where he has not fought and wrestled things out in
a healthy manner in a way that deems him worthy to be male.
Like what deems you worthy to be male is you're born male.
I mean, it's just that simple.
You don't have to be, you don't have to be six, three.
We are born with a mandate on our lives.
You're born with a mandate on your lives and however that looks.
And so the enemy literally coming in and stripping that mandate off of you.
And then, and then ultimately when the man doesn't step into the arena in the, in the
capacity of how he was created and who he was supposed to be, it, it literally deems
the woman.
It forces them to get out of them, outside of themselves and step into a role that they
are not designed for.
That we weren't designed for either.
Yeah.
It's just, it's just horrible.
Yeah.
It's just horrible.
And so I applaud you, babe.
Thank you.
I applaud you.
I applaud you for stepping into the space and not letting it take you out.
Yeah.
I know you and I talk really well, I talk more gruff than you do.
It's so funny.
Was it the first, one of the first months or two you and I were walking somewhere and
you lovingly turned and looked at me and said, if anybody even had a clue.
Yeah.
Between the two of us, but it's like, I, I know that I speak aggressively with you when
it comes to certain things.
Yeah.
And I know, and guys, please, before anybody comes at me, understand that I, I, you can
attest or you can tell me or you can correct.
I do it respectfully as best as I can.
And I'll interject real quick.
I like the way you said it.
Yeah.
You speak aggressively with me.
Yes.
Not at me.
Not at you.
Yeah.
With you.
Yeah.
I talk to that thing that tries to take you out.
Yeah.
Just like you do it with me.
Yeah.
Just like we do it with our children.
Right.
It's, I'm going to speak to that thing and it's going to sound like I am coming at you,
but I want you to understand I am for you.
I am for you.
I'm not against you.
What?
It's, because again, it's, my mind goes, I think you're rubbing off on me all the things
that you see in words.
I love it.
But again, we want to cultivate this and we want to, you know, we, I, all of a sudden you're
talking about, you know, you're talking gruffly at that thing that's trying to sit on you,
the enemy that's trying to drag you down.
And I pictured preparing a garden, you know, like tilling and breaking up the hard soil
before you plant or ripping out weeds, you know, between plants.
It's like, that's not gentle.
No, you got to be aggressive.
I'm being aggressive near the plants that I want to save.
Yes.
You know, I'm not harming the plants that are bearing good fruit, but I'm ripping out
the weeds or before I can even, you know, as I'm getting ready to put seed, good seed
in the soil, in the good soil, I'm taking a machine or an implement of some kind that's
wood and metal and stabbing and destroying and breaking up the hard ground.
That's so good.
That's good.
Yeah.
So that's where my mind went.
No, I love that.
I love that.
And so what it does is it helps provoke, it helps provoke change.
It helps provoke.
It helps cultivate an atmosphere in a space where you are able to say, all right, babe,
then this is what I'm thinking I want to do.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's not me forcing you to go work out with me in our workout room anymore.
It's not forcing you into a space of, hey, you know that I have to work out.
Like I have to for my mental health, for my sanity, for my physical wellbeing, my body
craves it.
It has to have it if it doesn't.
We see what happens to me.
And you are not built the same as much as you get in there, you throw weight, you're
good at it.
You're consistent with it, but it's like, I see where God is taking you into a deeper
level of something and he's ready to cultivate something even greater inside of you.
And it's going to look different and sound different.
Like rolling around on a mat, wrestling with people, with men, because you, I've already
said to.
But it's like, that doesn't sound fun to me.
Like a little bit, a little bit.
And I just think it's my personality.
I used to say it's because I was raised with brothers, but I just think it's my personality
though too.
But I want to do hard things.
I like to do things that are physically challenging.
It's like, but this doesn't seem like something that I, that would be in my wheelhouse, but
this is where you are.
This is a new part of the journey that you get to do and you get to go do it kind of
on your own, you know, and then we get to watch what happens.
We get to watch what happens.
We get to see you pushing things up and out and making space for the next space that God,
for the next thing that God wants to do.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
I am too.
It's been a second since I've seen you get, like, you're literally sending me things.
Babe, what about, you're gonna buy this?
What do you think?
But it's going to be good.
So that's a lot of, that's a whole lot of stuff.
That is a whole lot of stuff.
And that did not go anywhere near what I thought this episode was going to go.
And what my original idea, I think we might have to save it for next.
Okay.
Just, I mean, we're already 35 minutes in.
Are we really?
Yeah.
That's funny.
Yeah.
That's funny.
I mean, we could end it right now and this just be an episode, but it's like, I almost
want to, it's like in a way, I almost want to flesh this out just to touch more.
Come on.
But I don't, it's like, I don't know how, but it's, it is, it's that, you know, it's,
it's that thing that you were just saying about how, you know, with, with me going into,
you know, BJJ, the, the jujitsu and all that, and the, the grappling and all the basically
fighting.
Yeah.
I mean, that's literally what it is.
Yeah.
You know, but it is, it's like, don't let, don't let them mess up your moneymaker though.
Yeah, I'll do my best.
But it's like this, you know, this could be my thing that, you know, helps unlock and
move and propels me forward.
Yeah.
You know, and, and it's like, you know, whereas with you, it is, I could see you getting this
kind of relief, release, pushing forward.
I'm trying to grab the right word or words and it's, it's, but it's like, if I know you've
talked about doing like half marathon and like doing like, Oh, you know, what about
this 5k?
What about that 5k?
It's like, I could see that.
I love doing the obstacles and the things like that.
Yeah.
And, and see, and I almost mentioned that earlier, you know, the obstacle courses, that's
like, that's, it's like, I could see that as you're like, that's my fight is the obstacles.
I remember distinctly when you and I did the Tough Mudder, right?
And then we were, we were running with our sweet, sweet front.
Yeah.
And 12 miles in the freezing cold.
Seriously.
It was insane.
It was beautiful.
The day before a storm blew in and it literally dropped.
It went from like what, like seventies and sunny.
It was like overcast and low 40s.
It was insane.
And drizzly.
My lip is turning blue.
My lips are turning blue.
They're chattering where the one that was head over, just like I jumped in one thing
of water.
I come out.
He looks at me and goes, you are not getting any more water.
We're done.
Cause there was 13 of us, roughly about 13 of us that were doing it together.
And I felt bad cause I was like, we're the ones that get, Oh, we're the gym rats.
We keep doing the things.
And I was like, this is a completely different space.
Completely different space.
Like this is, I am, am I strong at all?
I do not feel strong at all.
But it, it was so funny because it's like, you know, here we're doing these obstacles
that are pushing you past your limits, not to your limits, but past your limits.
And they're pushing you in places where you can't get there by yourself.
You have to have somebody help you.
And even though you are fighting in this ring by your, by yourself, you're fighting against
somebody else that is also trained to work something out in their own way.
And then you've got somebody that's overseeing you to making sure that everybody is safe,
but everybody's getting what they need.
Right?
And so it's like, with these obstacles, I'm, I'm standing back going, I am not equipped
for this.
I did not, I did not train in the proper way that I needed to.
Yeah.
Neither one of us did.
You're just wicked like strong and you can just pick me up and throw me wherever you
need to put me.
Or there was that one obstacle.
It was like, you know, from here to, from point A to point B, carry your partner halfway
and then switch.
And then your partner carries you.
And I looked at you and I'm like, I'll just carry you point A to point B.
And it was through the mud.
It was through the mud.
It wasn't even like on bare ground.
Almost ankle deep mud.
Yes.
It was no, it was no joke mud.
And, and you were like, I am not, I am not going to have you.
The reality is this, if you popped on my back and even if I could carry you, your feet would
be dangling in the mud with us.
I mean, it just, that's because guys listen, he's literally 11 inches taller than me.
I don't know what else to say.
Like you're almost a solid foot.
And I have over a hundred pounds on you.
And you have over a hundred pounds on me.
And it's like, and this is why I work out.
So it's like, I need to be able to, you know, sustain and be healthy.
But it is, it's, it's, and then when we did that one with Heather, you know, as far as
the mud and then Heather and me and Marsha and a whole bunch of us did it all together.
And it was a muddy princess.
And it was literally trudging through the mud.
And it was beautiful because it was like, it was, it's, it pushes you, it pushes you
in places and it causes you to put yourself in situations that in everyday circumstance,
you would not, you won't be here.
Now, even on your probably absolute worst day, probably won't have something of this
nature.
But the fact that it takes you, your mind into a space of saying, I may never have to
ever use this, but I can, right?
I know I can.
Yeah.
I'm capable.
Yeah.
I, I, I can do it's cliche, but it is, I can do hard things.
Yeah.
And I mean, in a way it reminds me, I think it's a, I think it's an old Japanese proverb
that talks about it.
And, and I know I have, I think I've said it about other things because, because again,
it's the, whether it's the training for an obstacle course or doing hard things or the
BHAJ or carrying a firearm or whatever it's the old proverb is it's better to be a warrior
in a garden than a gardener in a war.
Yes.
I mean, everybody just sit in that for a second.
Say it again.
It's, it's better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.
Cause I mean, it even talks about that in Nehemiah.
I mean, to it, to a degree, you know, it's, it's the whole, you've, you've got a weapon
in one hand and a tool in the other.
Yes.
You know, the, the walls of Jerusalem were broken down.
Yeah.
Nehemiah says, you know, Hey, give me permission to go rebuild the walls.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know, and the enemies of Jerusalem were watching them rebuild the walls and you had
people literally standing in the gaps of the walls, literal gaps of the city walls and
people standing there while they're trying to fix it.
Yeah.
But also having a sword ready in case they decide, Hey, let's attack.
They're just, they're, they're throwing mud and mortar right now.
Let's go.
That's crazy.
But, but, but I think that that, I think that that is what we are stepping into right now.
Yeah.
Because that's what you physically, cause again, you're going into a new arena, literally
an arena.
Yeah.
You're going into a new space.
You're learning new skills.
You're doing things that are outside of your comfort zone.
Yeah.
You're, you're mentally having to wrap your brain around certain things.
And then there's other things that you get to let go.
And those that follow us at all or follow me individually see that I on Instagram say
road to 50.
Yeah.
I've been doing this road to 50 thing.
Right.
And it's like, if we do not cultivate out a space every day that says, I've got to do
better.
Yeah.
I've got to be better.
I'm not, I'm not competing against the girls.
I'm not competing against you.
Yeah.
I'm not competing against the other 50 year olds that are around me.
I'm competing against me.
Right.
I, I want to see, it's like the sweatshirt that I had made that says, I want to see what
happens if I don't give up.
Yeah.
I want, I want to see what happens.
You want to see what happens when you don't give up.
You want to see what happens when you stand in the gap for the 22.
You want to see what happens.
You want to be able to stand in front of the possible 22 and say, grab my hand.
It's going to, we're going to make it to the other side.
We're going to grapple this out and we're, and we're going to be better.
And we're going to, we're going to annihilate those demons that keep trying to come.
Yeah.
And I think, like I'm listening and I'm, I'm also like trying to split my brain because
I'm like, Oh no, like the logistics part of logic and all in was like, Oh no, what are
we going to call this episode?
It's like, uh, we'll figure it out.
But it's like, but in my mind, it's like, I'm, I am, I'm, it is, it's that road to
50.
It's that competing against our ourselves.
You know, when, when we're in a marriage, we're, we're not comparing and competing
against other couples.
It's how can we do better as a couple?
How can we do better as parents?
You know, again, not trying to think, Oh my gosh, you know, I mean, we had a conversation
the other day about, you know, Oh my gosh, you know, why, why is it that that couple,
you know, has such a better house than us?
Or how come that couple, you know, our daughter's friend, you know, how come they always want
our daughter's clothes and stuff?
It's like, you know, we can't, we can't, you know, it's what are we doing?
And as I was thinking that I was, I was, I was thinking for some reason I'm going back
to Nehemiah, but that's what we get to do for our marriage.
And I want to figure out how to make a t-shirt out of this or something or some kind of design.
Are you writing this down?
I'm not writing this down.
Okay.
Um, cause I know you're going to listen to this tomorrow morning and you'll write it
down.
But what we get to do is as a married couple, we get to carry that weapon and that tool.
We get to fight off the attacks of the enemy that are trying to drive a wedge between us.
We get to fight off the enemy that's trying to whisper and take us down at our ankles
and our knees by finding our buttons and finding our weak points.
And we get to use that tool to build each other up, to help build the wall around our
marriage, not necessarily to keep other people out, but to strengthen our bond together.
Right.
And I think, I think, I don't know, I think that would be like, if we could figure out
like, especially with firm footing.
I have something in my head.
Yeah.
No, I know.
Yeah.
That's why I'm like, babe, t-shirt idea.
No, that's good.
So yeah, but it, but it is cause cause that's, that's what we get to do for each other.
You know, it's, you know, those, those moments where I'm weak and maybe don't have the strength
to pick up my own sword.
Right.
You can help me pick up my sword and, and in a way, watch over me with yours while I
take a couple of deep breaths.
Right.
And get back up on my feet and I do the same for you.
Right.
You know, when those, when those voices and those things come into attack you, I'm there.
I can see them coming behind you so I can tell you, Hey, behind you, or I can just go
ahead and step there.
Yeah.
And at the same time, it's like, Hey, I see the enemy put a pretty good crack right there.
Yeah.
Let me, let me, let me back load up for you so you can be solid so we can march this out
together.
Right.
So yeah, no, that's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
So yeah, I have it in my head.
Yeah, no, I see it.
I know.
It's like, I knew you would.
It's like, I just, I just need to talk it out.
It'll be there.
We don't need to write.
Yeah, like a very, a very loose interpretation of what I see in my brain.
Yeah.
No, that's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
I think that that's, that's who we need to be for each other.
Yes.
When it comes to this new year.
Yes.
This new part of the journey.
Yeah.
Because again, like we said at the very beginning of this, we are not an anomaly.
No, we are not the only ones that are dealing with any of these things.
We're not the only ones that are standing back and saying, there's something, there's
something going on right now.
Like husbands and wives are looking at each other right now.
And if you guys are being honest, you're probably going, hmm, yeah, there is something that
is like deep inside me that I can't seem to quite.
Yeah.
I can't quite seem to get it.
There's a nagging thought that I can't quite.
And if I don't, and if I don't do this properly or if I, if I can't hash this out in a productive
way that's healthy, this is going to destroy me.
Yeah.
And then ultimately us.
Right.
Yeah.
And so take this time this week.
Yes.
And sit with each other and say, like, I know people talk about the new year's resolutions.
Our family is not a resolution family.
We are a declaration family.
We are a family that declares, we are a family that prophesies.
We are a family that speaks the word of God in truth.
We are a family that gets at the feet of Jesus in the throne room of grace and says, father,
what new thing are you doing?
Yeah.
What do we get to do this year?
Yeah.
Cause like we had a snowstorm that literally locked us in kind of for like almost a week.
Yeah.
And the moment that we got a chance to break out, you took me to go get paint.
Yeah.
And I proceeded to paint our kitchen.
Yeah.
Paint the other half of our living room.
Cause one half was already painted, but the other half of our living room and then-
Actually just a wall.
Just a wall.
Yeah, just a wall of the living room.
And then, which is the other half of the living room, which is funny.
It's just the way that our living room set up.
Anyway.
And then our half bath.
Yeah.
But you did it not just because, oh, it's my wife.
She's just decorating again.
Yeah.
You did it because you saw that there was something inside of me and all I could say
was, babe, this is what I feel like I'm supposed to be doing right now.
Yeah.
And you know that I've been sitting on this for a while.
Oh yeah.
But you also know that I wouldn't have felt like I was supposed to do it if I didn't feel
like I was being led.
Yeah.
And so even if it's in those small things, like we were talking about your coworker and
him and his wife and their project going on.
And after I made my very quick comment, and again, I apologize if he listens to us at
all.
I am sorry.
I talk, I kind of spoke out of turn.
But what if your spouse is trying to work something out?
Yeah.
Understand that we're built differently.
Yeah.
Understand that what your husband, how he works out things, his salvation with fear
and trembling is going to look different than your wife's.
Like maybe that's just the way that it silences the noise.
Maybe if that's the way that creates the peace that seems to be trying to literally knock
on the front door of your home.
Yeah.
And I was, I'm really glad that you said that because I was almost, I was like, hey, I need
to add this.
Nobody out there listening to us needs our permission.
No.
I want to say this as kind of a, I'm going to put it out there just because.
Yeah.
Take that time.
No.
Sometimes equipping and training needs to take place individually.
That's good.
And that's okay.
That's good, babe.
But again, it's like you running and going to the gym or working out in our home gym
is different than me going to hitting the mats and grappling.
Those are going to be different things.
We are not always going to train and equip ourselves in the same arena.
Right.
There are going to be things that we do together.
Yes.
But not all of the equipping and not all of the training and not all of the prep work
to strengthen your marriage, to strengthen yourself is going to take place side by side
with your spouse.
That's right.
And don't, I know I'm guilty of it, but don't feel guilty if when those times come, it's
like, hey, I need to do this on my own so that I can be better for us.
That's it.
So and again, it's like I don't need nobody needs our permission, but it's like I want
to say this as a way of yes, do this.
This is okay.
This is a good thing.
Yeah.
Because it is sometimes we did like, yeah, yeah.
No, that's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
Yeah.
So this is a good episode.
I did this completely not where I thought it was going to go.
This was awesome.
This turned out fun.
It's going to be good.
Yeah.
We are not going to promise you when you're going to hear from us again.
Yes.
You will hear from us.
Yes.
But we are going to do our best to stick to an every other week release calendar release
schedule.
Yes.
Just be patient with us because you heard what's going on.
And we are now learning how to lean into a new rhythm.
Yeah.
And it's good.
Yes.
And it will make us better for the kingdom of God.
It will help make us better for each other, for our children.
And it will ultimately will also help us be better for you guys.
Yes.
So just stay tuned.
Yes.
Stay sharp.
Yes.
Grapple it out, guys.
Figure out what it is that God's doing.
Not all irritation.
Not all dissatisfaction.
Yeah.
Is of the enemy.
Yes.
A lot of times it's God putting that pebble in your shoe and saying, let's talk about
it.
Yeah.
All right, guys.
Have the best week.
Have a good journey.