1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:13,200 Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na. 2 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,200 Hi babe. 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,200 Hi babe. 4 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:16,200 How's it going? 5 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,200 It's good. 6 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,200 How are you? 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,200 I'm good. 8 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:26,640 Do you want to tell the at home audience how you're feeling? 9 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:27,640 Not well. 10 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:28,640 Okay. 11 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:35,120 I do not feel well, but I am here. 12 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,120 Yes. 13 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:47,040 And you summed it up beautifully today because I'm looking at you and I'm desperately like 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,680 trying to have a conversation with our children. 15 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,960 The beautiful thing is literally everybody but you had the day off today. 16 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:55,960 Yes. 17 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:02,000 But even with you having the day off, it's like you're down here in your office and so 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,840 everybody's home. 19 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:04,840 Yes. 20 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:12,200 I've changed my clothes, but I think for the most part, everybody's still in their PJs. 21 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,200 Everybody's just still kind of, you know what I mean? 22 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:21,720 And I had great ideas of grandeur. 23 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,600 Yes. 24 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:25,600 Started off really strong. 25 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,920 I woke up like I was ready. 26 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:28,920 Let's go. 27 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:29,920 Let's do things. 28 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,640 I was going to say, I remember. 29 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:36,640 I didn't get started as early as I wanted to, but I still like, it was like almost 730 30 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:37,640 when I was getting moving. 31 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,640 We were rested. 32 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,640 Yeah. 33 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,440 You're like, yeah, I'm ready to get up. 34 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:42,440 Go ahead. 35 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,440 Turn on your side of the light. 36 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,440 Go ahead and turn off the fan. 37 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,440 I'm like, all right. 38 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,440 Yeah. 39 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,440 Let's go. 40 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,440 Let's go. 41 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:56,800 So I get maybe an hour into the day, which I always get frustrated because I'm like, 42 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,800 I need to just, my workout needs to be my very first thing because I'm like, it just 43 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,480 needs to be. 44 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:03,480 Yeah. 45 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:13,480 Because within an hour of being awake, like all of a sudden I'm going, what is that? 46 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:18,000 What, like you hear it in me, but I've been sounding like this for a couple of days. 47 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000 Yeah. 48 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:25,680 And I'm looking at you going, I just, it's that space where you like, I just want to 49 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:26,680 throw up. 50 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,680 Just let me throw up once. 51 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,680 I'll be all right. 52 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:35,600 But it just, it's like, and you, you said it's like, what do you say? 53 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,400 It's like a battery powered car. 54 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,400 Yeah. 55 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,960 It's like a remote controlled car where the, you know, when, when the battery is fully 56 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:46,000 charged, you can zip and you can turn and you can do all the tricks. 57 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:51,080 And when the battery gets low, you get in spurts or you're just sluggish. 58 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,080 Yeah. 59 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,840 Like I was like, okay. 60 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,200 Because I had Christmas cards I was going to do and I had, I was going to help with 61 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:00,560 you finishing the devotion. 62 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,360 And then I was like, Ooh, I want to make Christmas cookies. 63 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,560 I want to get creative and I want to learn how to do things. 64 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,200 Like I was all excited. 65 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,200 Yeah. 66 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,080 I got two Christmas cards done. 67 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,080 Good job. 68 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,640 Thank you. 69 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:18,440 I think that's it. 70 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,440 Yeah. 71 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,840 Oh, I, our dishwasher has broken. 72 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:22,840 It's broke. 73 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:23,840 It's officially broke. 74 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:29,120 Um, I discovered that the dishes that were in the dishwasher today were not clean, that 75 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,240 apparently it broke before it could do the last load. 76 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,640 And I think that's on me. 77 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:34,640 It's okay. 78 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:35,640 It's okay. 79 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:44,200 Um, so I opened it to mold and penicillin like stuff. 80 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,440 So that should have helped heal you. 81 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,480 You know, you would have thought. 82 00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:55,960 And um, so I, I had enough energy to, to the dishes cause our girls like, what are you 83 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,160 making for dinner mom? 84 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:02,520 And I was like, I will cook if you wash the dishes knowing that we are our dishwasher 85 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:03,520 is kaput. 86 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,520 Yes. 87 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,280 And it's like, Oh, I'll make tokyo. 88 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,200 I'll just go ahead and make some toketos mom, which basically that pulls them out of the 89 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,800 freezer, throw them in the oven and then you're done. 90 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:14,800 Which is fine. 91 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,640 It's like the Brown and serve roles for Thanksgiving. 92 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:17,640 It's fine. 93 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,280 So, um, so yeah. 94 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:24,320 And then, uh, I tried eating a little bit more. 95 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,120 Uh, you've been very good to me. 96 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:31,640 You made me some protein today, made myself and Gabri some protein today. 97 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:40,840 And um, Sebastian does his ramen and his stuff, but like I, I started eating, telling you 98 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:47,320 about like some of the stories from Gabri's world and just from just stuff that I was 99 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,320 thinking about. 100 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:52,160 And you were like, this would be a really good podcast. 101 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,520 Let's talk about that. 102 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,800 And so here we are here we are. 103 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,640 And I'm trying to do my best to have all the energies, all the energies. 104 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,520 I'm like, I will get on the treadmill when we get done with this. 105 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,520 Yes. 106 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,520 No. 107 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:12,200 And I, I have just determined that probably some of what's going on. 108 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,040 Cause I talked to my besties, right? 109 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,040 Talk to some of them today. 110 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,040 They're like, you're right. 111 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,040 How you doing? 112 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,040 What's going on? 113 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:29,280 And, um, for those that listen to in the real, um, know that I last Tuesday I had my MRI 114 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,280 for my breast. 115 00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:36,320 I, Heather and I made all the fun comments and cracked all the jokes and talked about 116 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,000 eggs, like all the things. 117 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,280 And then tomorrow is my followup. 118 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:46,880 And so I can't be not feeling good, but at the same time I'm like part of me goes, I 119 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,120 wonder if maybe part of this is what that is. 120 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:54,320 Just not that I picked anything up from the hospital, but you and I have both learned 121 00:05:54,320 --> 00:06:01,760 that I have a certain thing about me that when my body even remotely stresses, I'm not 122 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,800 stressed in a space of there's a fear. 123 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,200 Even if they did find something, you and I would be fine. 124 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,280 We would be like, it's no big deal. 125 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:11,280 What do we do next? 126 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,280 What's the next step? 127 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:16,600 But I think that there's always just that little thing inside me that just goes, cause 128 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:21,600 my body kind of starts running down about the time that these things kind of show up 129 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:22,980 on the scene. 130 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:29,680 And I think it's one of those things that it's not necessarily to kind of go on the, 131 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:35,400 it probably is stress, but it's one of those things that it's not, it's kind of back to 132 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,400 the not all stress is bad. 133 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,760 No, no. 134 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:43,760 Because stress is what helps keep us alive in some degrees. 135 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:48,120 And it helps with that fight or flight response and all. 136 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,120 And so it's like, but it is. 137 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,120 I'm just going to say I don't have fight or flight. 138 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:55,880 I just have a lay down and just, I'm going to take a nap. 139 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:56,880 Fight flight or nap. 140 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,880 Oh yeah. 141 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:58,880 Yeah. 142 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:04,800 You know, but it is, it's that, you know, again, it's, you know, because even if it 143 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:10,800 is it's that, you know, that degree of holding your breath. 144 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,000 That's a good analogy. 145 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:17,760 You're coming up with, you really are being able to explain me better today than me explaining 146 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:18,760 me. 147 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,840 But, but it is. 148 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:26,400 It's that degree of holding your breath because I mean, we could break down the physiology 149 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,680 of, you know, if you're not breathing right, you're not going to be living right. 150 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:35,760 And you know, at times like this, when it's just, you know, even, even though we know 151 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:40,360 that the test results are going to be negative, you know, they're, they're not going to find 152 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,640 anything, but it's just, it is, it's that I know everything's fine. 153 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,840 I'm just waiting for them to say everything's fine. 154 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:47,840 Yeah. 155 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:52,600 And, and even that pause, you know, because again, it was, you know, Tuesday was the MRI. 156 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:53,720 Yeah. 157 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:58,200 This upcoming Tuesday, which is tomorrow while we record is going to be the reading of the 158 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,200 results. 159 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,200 Yeah. 160 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:04,920 And so it is, it's that, you know, because nobody will tell you at the MRI, oh yeah, 161 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:05,920 everything looks fine. 162 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:06,920 I didn't see anything. 163 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,920 Right. 164 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,920 They can't say that because, you know, they have to wait for somebody special that has 165 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,480 been, you know, the anointed one to read the results of the MRI. 166 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,480 Right. 167 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:20,400 And then they pull out the scroll of truth and oh, yes, we found nothing. 168 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,400 Okay, cool. 169 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,400 Thanks. 170 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,440 And then we're in the midst of holiday season. 171 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,240 We're trying to do the Christmas stuff and get this. 172 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:27,240 It is pre winter. 173 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,240 It is pre winter. 174 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:31,240 That was the best reel ever. 175 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,240 It is pre winter. 176 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,360 It is not winter yet, but it is pre winter. 177 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,120 And we're just getting ready for that. 178 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:43,280 And we're in, in like, you, like I kind of alluded to, like we, we are in the, in the 179 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:47,640 space of finishing up the last of that devotional. 180 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:52,480 And now we're in the process of how do we go about it? 181 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:53,480 Who do we go through? 182 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:54,480 How do we price it? 183 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:57,240 All the things, the stuff that just. 184 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,920 It's like the business side. 185 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,120 The business side of the world of the things. 186 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,120 But it's good. 187 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,120 Yes. 188 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,180 So, but it's good. 189 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,180 It's really good. 190 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:13,560 And I, and all I can think of is in these kinds of moments, especially when I do not 191 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:21,340 feel good, I always think how much I appreciate you just simply because you, you are, you're, 192 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:23,400 you take very good care of me. 193 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,520 And there's days where you're like, I didn't do anything. 194 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:29,600 I'm like, I think you don't understand when I say, when you take care of me, you don't 195 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:35,520 insist that I take care of everything else and do all the things you, you're not a taskmaster 196 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,600 whenever like, oh, you're fine. 197 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,040 Just get up and know you're fine. 198 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:46,120 I really know I don't feel good, but I will. 199 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,000 So you don't do that to me. 200 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,520 You actually do let me rest and I do appreciate that. 201 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,520 You're welcome. 202 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,480 Appreciate that. 203 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,240 So what are we talking about today? 204 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,240 You're going to do a lot of the talking. 205 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,240 I will do my best. 206 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,240 This is wearing me out. 207 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,240 Yes. 208 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,240 I hear you. 209 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,600 It's probably going to be a short one then. 210 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,600 And that's okay. 211 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,720 Because, because, because again, it could, it could be a single bite or it could be a 212 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,960 full meal. 213 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:19,080 Our goal is to have a filling experience at the table. 214 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:20,080 That was cheesy. 215 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,080 That was cheesy. 216 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,080 I like you though. 217 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,080 That's cute. 218 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,080 She used to sound good. 219 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,400 But we're going to talk about transparency today. 220 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,400 Yes. 221 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:33,080 Because sort of a backstory to this, we were, we were talking and because again, we, we 222 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:38,320 talk about this a lot and we talk about relationships a lot. 223 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:45,000 One of the things that we were talking about one day was in a way it kind of has to deal 224 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,280 with your past. 225 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,280 Yeah. 226 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,240 And I was trying to write this out. 227 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,800 I was, I was going back and forth about, you know, we were going back and forth about putting 228 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,320 this as a, as a week of the devotional. 229 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:59,840 And I, I think I want to scrap it and we'll just, we'll just talk about it as a podcast 230 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,520 episode and not put it in the devotional. 231 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,520 Or maybe surprise, surprise. 232 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,520 Yeah. 233 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:10,240 Or maybe surprise, you know, always looking forward to feedback. 234 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:15,320 But I think, but what, what this was, what this started off was, was everybody's got 235 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,320 a past. 236 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,320 Yes. 237 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:23,480 You know, you know, some people before they get married, they, they've had, they've, they've 238 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:29,760 had the experience of, you know, they've always known Jesus and they, they've, they've never 239 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:34,920 been with anybody else and you know, the person they marry is, is they're one and only forever 240 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:35,920 and always. 241 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:36,920 Yeah. 242 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:43,400 You know, there are others that have lived through all the ups and downs of life's craziest 243 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:53,520 rollercoaster and you know, and not that one is better than the other, not that, you know, 244 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:58,000 you know, cause, cause a lot of times it's like, I hear these stories of people that 245 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,640 have gone through the wringer in life that have, you know, lived all the crazy experiences 246 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:08,760 and you know, been in the bottom of the bottom and it's, you know, it's like, I always want 247 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:13,000 to hear that as a cautionary tale to people that have not gone through that. 248 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,000 Yeah. 249 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:19,760 Especially when it comes to walking in faith, because I don't want people that are feeling 250 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:24,400 mediocre in their faith to hear those stories and think, Oh, I have to go down this tragic 251 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,240 path in order to walk closer with God. 252 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,160 It's like, no, no, you don't. 253 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,160 You really don't. 254 00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,160 I promise. 255 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,160 Right. 256 00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:36,920 I mean, we've, we've got people, we've got people in our lives that have lived that. 257 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,200 Like I always think of Papa Charlie and Mama Karen. 258 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:47,520 Like they, you know, like I know that they, and Mama Karen, if I have this wrong, please 259 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,520 correct me. 260 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,520 She will. 261 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,520 Yeah. 262 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:57,280 And I think that my understanding is like, Charlie wasn't raised in like a Christ-filled 263 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,560 church or Christ-filled family. 264 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,560 Yeah. 265 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:01,560 Yeah. 266 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:06,400 I think either one of them were, but they found Jesus like at very young, kind of early 267 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:09,560 on or at least teens, twenties. 268 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:13,280 And then that's when they finally kind of came together. 269 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,880 One of the horse riding people that were with them was like kind of a pastor mentor person. 270 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:18,880 I love hearing that story. 271 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,720 Isn't that the sweetest story? 272 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:21,720 We got a chance to see her. 273 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,920 We're just going to go hang out and ride horses together and fall in love. 274 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:25,920 And fall in love. 275 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:26,920 That's so sweet. 276 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:27,920 It's the sweetest story ever. 277 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,120 But they're each other's one and only, right? 278 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,200 Like kind of situation. 279 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,280 There might've been dating. 280 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,280 I think, I think that was correct, right? 281 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,280 Yeah. 282 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:41,760 They both had dated somebody before, but not anything like to hear from Karen. 283 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,800 Like, she's like, yeah, she completely blew a guy off and like, no, I like this guy. 284 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,800 Yeah. 285 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,440 And then the pastor like set her up with some guy and she was like, yeah, he's okay. 286 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,440 Yeah. 287 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:52,440 Like, yeah. 288 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:56,960 So, so if we embellish that or if we got it completely wrong, Karen, we're sorry. 289 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:02,080 But it was, the fact is that they were together for so long, like literally just kind of their 290 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,360 one and only. 291 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,680 It's the same story that like our daughter will have. 292 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,800 That's what she desires and that's what she will have. 293 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,520 Our son will have that also. 294 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:18,080 And we are very blessed with people that like in our church, some of the young adults, different 295 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:23,560 ones that have literally lived that, which is a blessing. 296 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:27,600 We have not, you know, like I, or I think of Kayla and Hunter, right? 297 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,280 Like they are like each other's one and only. 298 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:34,880 And there's these beautiful, beautiful stories. 299 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,800 I know that you said one isn't better than the other. 300 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,240 I will actually disagree. 301 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:44,600 I will say being with Jesus constantly is always going to be better than the other. 302 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,600 It just is. 303 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,480 It just is. 304 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:54,640 I do hear what you're saying, but man, like to know that you didn't have to go through 305 00:14:54,640 --> 00:15:04,720 the same rigmarole and the heartache and the drama and the stuff like that we did. 306 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:10,080 And then our favorite joke all the time being, but it's serious. 307 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:18,720 We're serious when we say it, of the reason why our marriage is so good now is because 308 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:25,480 we learned fairly early on in our previous lives how to do marriage badly, how to do 309 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,540 relationships badly. 310 00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:33,640 At the beginning of our marriage, it was a little rocky, but like we had a good, I think 311 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:39,920 we had enough sound footing that helped us get through the rocky to where we could get 312 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,920 onto the solid ground. 313 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,360 Yes. 314 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:50,200 And I think kind of that part is what I really wanted to talk about today. 315 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:59,400 Because again, it's one of those things that... And people could take this kind of what 316 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:00,400 I'm going to go at. 317 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:06,840 People can take it to outside of relationships and outside of marriage and just normal walk 318 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,680 with God. 319 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:21,080 But it's like with that past in mind, I think it's very important that we do have that transparency 320 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:27,400 at the beginning of a relationship, preferably before you get married. 321 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:32,960 Or if it has to wait until after you're married, that's fine, that's how it happens. 322 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:41,160 But it's that level of transparency of here's my past. 323 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:47,560 It's kind of like the here's what you're getting when you get me type thing. 324 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:53,880 You know, again, not to... And I know some of the stories, some people could be intimidated 325 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:59,160 by it, some people could feel embarrassed of, oh my gosh, I'm telling this person my deepest, 326 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,400 darkest secret. 327 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:12,320 And it's like it's not what that is for, but it's similar to how we want to expose everything 328 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,600 to the light of Jesus. 329 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:18,000 And we want God to cover and wash us with his blood. 330 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,880 And so it's like, so everything is made news, everything is made clean. 331 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:28,920 And it's like, in a way, that's what we're doing with our spouses, with our future spouses, 332 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:35,200 is we're sitting here saying, I want there to be no secrets between us. 333 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:40,480 I want everything to be out in the open. 334 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:49,280 But there's also that level of, I can tell you all the dark that I've been through without 335 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:52,560 showing you all of the dark that I've been through. 336 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:57,240 Because I think back to some of our stories, especially some of my stories, it's like, 337 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:05,680 I'll tell you enough of what I've been through, what I've done, what I've seen. 338 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,480 And it's like, I don't have to... Go into the major details. 339 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,960 Yeah, I don't have to paint all the details. 340 00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:17,880 I don't have to be that, like when you're looking at a picture of something, the photorealism, 341 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,160 it's like, it's not abstract, but it's not photorealism. 342 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,480 So it's like, but it's... It's enough. 343 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,480 Yeah. 344 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,480 Yeah, it's enough. 345 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:32,320 And it's like, that's what you want to do. 346 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:38,280 Because there's two illustrations that I had in my mind when we were talking about this. 347 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:45,040 Originally the concept, kind of the idea I had of this was, for people that do have a 348 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:50,280 lot of stuff in their past, or even just a little stuff in their past, it's almost like, 349 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:55,800 the stuff you've done is all put into a file cabinet. 350 00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,760 And I think there's a lot of people that what they try to do is, they have this file cabinet 351 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,520 of stuff that they've done, especially if they weren't Christian. 352 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:08,600 It's like, here's the stuff that I did in my past life, before I knew Jesus, here's 353 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,600 what I did. 354 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:14,280 And I'm just going to shove a bunch of Jesus stuff into this file cabinet. 355 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,240 So the Jesus stuff will cover the bad stuff that I did. 356 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:22,080 And I'm just going to shut the file cabinet and know that that's my Jesus covers. 357 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,320 There's a bunch of Jesus stuff in there, and there's some other stuff in the back that's 358 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,520 crumpled and covered, and it's okay. 359 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:40,320 But I think what's not good with that, not best practice, if you will, is, yes, you're 360 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,800 putting a bunch of Jesus in there. 361 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,600 You're filling your head with a bunch of Jesus. 362 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:50,840 You're filling your heart with a bunch of Jesus, but you're not actually dealing with 363 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,840 the stuff that you did. 364 00:19:51,840 --> 00:20:03,360 You're not dealing with the multiple partners you had, the paganism, the junk, the trauma. 365 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:14,920 And then the other illustration that I had was, we are meant to, with our past and all 366 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:22,440 that, and what we've done in our lives, we're meant to clean it with the blood, not cover 367 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:26,480 it with the wool of the lamb. 368 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:33,340 Because when I was doing an illustration, it was like, I can sit there and I can put 369 00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:37,280 it out on the table and I can show you and say, here's what I've done. 370 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,440 Here's who I was. 371 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:43,960 Or I can say, well, everything I did was on this piece of paper and I put it under this 372 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,520 box that has Jesus stuff and it's there. 373 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,240 It's on the table. 374 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:55,480 And it's like, because we're not dealing with it. 375 00:20:55,480 --> 00:21:02,360 I think that there are some things that do just kind of go away. 376 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:06,840 Like, we know that there, we know the power in the blood. 377 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:14,400 We genuinely, you and I genuinely know the power of the blood of Christ. 378 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,480 Our lives are a testimony. 379 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:29,920 That being said, I would also say the reason why we know to such gravity and to such depths 380 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:36,480 is because we have opened up our file cabinets, literally flip them upside down, let them 381 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:43,280 hit the floor and say, okay, so this is what I did. 382 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:45,960 This is who I have been. 383 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,200 This is what I have done. 384 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,680 These are the players in my story. 385 00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,600 This is all this stuff. 386 00:21:53,600 --> 00:22:01,840 And then allowed the Holy Spirit to not just the forgiveness of our sins, the forgiveness 387 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,780 of our failings, our shortcomings. 388 00:22:05,780 --> 00:22:14,560 It's been the Holy Spirit coming in and saying, let's cut away the soul ties. 389 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:18,880 Let's disentangle your thought system. 390 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:23,360 Let's go ahead and heal those holes that are in your heart because you've given pieces 391 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,720 away of who you are. 392 00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:31,560 Let's go ahead and start washing off those fingerprints of all the people and the partners 393 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,760 and the things and the trauma. 394 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,200 Let's start dealing with some of these things. 395 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:45,920 And he's so gentle and he's so kind and he's so good, but he's also, he's a jealous God. 396 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:55,880 And it makes me think of what is that line in Narnia where he's talking. 397 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,880 What is it? 398 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:02,240 When they're asking, when one of the children is asking about Aslan and he's like, is he 399 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:03,240 good? 400 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,240 It's like, he's dangerous, but he's good. 401 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,400 Or is he gentle or kind or something? 402 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,640 But they're asking about the line. 403 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,760 He's dangerous, but he's good. 404 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,240 But he's good. 405 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,960 And that's what I think of when it comes to the things of God, because a lot of times 406 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:24,960 people go, well, dangerous, dangerous is horrible or aggressive or whatever, just ferocious, 407 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:25,960 fierce, right? 408 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,920 These are very intense words. 409 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:29,920 They're like, oh gosh. 410 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:34,920 And I'm like, no, the lion of Judah, that's like who you want into your space. 411 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:39,000 You want somebody that is going to fight for you because he knows the adversary that's 412 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,560 coming for you. 413 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:44,180 He knows the one that's wanting to literally still kill and destroy. 414 00:23:44,180 --> 00:23:49,600 He knows the one that wants to keep you in your file cabinet and keep you covered in 415 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,640 your chaos and in your sin. 416 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:58,040 He's not going to pull punches. 417 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:03,600 He's going to go after the jugular of the enemy of your soul. 418 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:12,460 And when we as the people of God, especially when it comes to our spouses and the relationships, 419 00:24:12,460 --> 00:24:20,920 even with our children, when we step into that space and we say, you will not have, 420 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:25,140 you will not have my family, you will not have my marriage, you will not have my children, 421 00:24:25,140 --> 00:24:28,880 you will not have my friends. 422 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:37,400 Sunday I think of when we had the sermon and I was talking about the bio dome and this 423 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:43,200 kind of ties into what you're talking about because if we stay in a shallow space, if 424 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:48,960 we don't allow the roots to go deep because the reason why the roots aren't going deep 425 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:52,920 in a relationship, well, why can't we seem to hit, we keep hitting a certain space guys, 426 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,040 like we can't seem to get really deep in our relationship. 427 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,600 Well, what have you been covering under the surface? 428 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:04,280 What is underneath the surface that might be keeping you from going into those deep 429 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,840 spaces because you got to do some digging. 430 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,480 You got to go in and say, why do I respond the way that I do? 431 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,920 Man, every time you say this, babe, this seems to trigger me. 432 00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:18,120 Every time you do this, babe, this seems to, right? 433 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:23,720 And it's like, maybe find out what it is. 434 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:30,320 Get it exposed so that way it can be dealt with and so that freedom can start coming 435 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:34,160 and your relationship can become stronger. 436 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:48,000 And I think back a lot to my walk with God now versus how I was raised because I was 437 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:53,680 raised Catholic and there are like, it's like, I don't want to sit here and say it's like 438 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,400 there are different rules, but there were different rules and there were different ways 439 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,680 that we did things. 440 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:07,320 Because I know that now I can go to God and I can be like, God, I sinned, I messed up, 441 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,320 I want to do better. 442 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,320 I truly am sorry. 443 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,320 Please forgive me. 444 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,320 I want to move on. 445 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:13,520 Let's move past this. 446 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,640 And God's pretty much like, hey, you asked for forgiveness. 447 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:18,640 Cool. 448 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,640 Done. 449 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:20,640 Books closed. 450 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:21,640 Let's go on. 451 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:22,640 Let's go forward. 452 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:30,360 And it's like, the way I was raised was when you asked for forgiveness, you actually had 453 00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,840 to go to a priest and it was called confession. 454 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:39,560 And it was, side note, that's why it was always really confused because they're like, make 455 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:40,560 a confession of God. 456 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,680 And I'm like, but that's what you do when you sin. 457 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:49,720 Why are we talking about sitting when declaring what God is to you? 458 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:56,520 So yeah, I always have trip up on that word. 459 00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:03,780 But yeah, so in confession in the Catholic church, it's like, you are encouraged to name 460 00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:08,000 all of your sins and how many times you did it. 461 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:13,040 And it's like, if you didn't, it's like you're almost taught. 462 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:16,920 And that it is, it's basically how you're taught, raised, whatever you want to call 463 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:17,920 it. 464 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:24,200 If you name that specific sin in confession, then you're not going to be forgiven of that 465 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:25,560 sin. 466 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:30,120 So it's like, you're almost taught of when you're listing your things at the very end 467 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:36,720 of, well, that's all I can think of, but I might have forgotten something. 468 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,920 You know, I poked a badger three times. 469 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,880 I had 16 lustful thoughts. 470 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:47,120 I punched my sibling 14 times and, you know, yeah. 471 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,320 So it's very different. 472 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,680 But yeah, yeah. 473 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:57,800 So it's like, but again, it's just, I say that to say, you know, with all of this, you 474 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:05,520 know, again, it's not that we have to be specific when we're talking to our spouses, our future 475 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:11,400 spouses or to God with, I've messed up in my life. 476 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,800 I want to do better. 477 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:13,800 I want to be better. 478 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,640 I want to go forward being better with you. 479 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,640 Yeah. 480 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:22,320 And it's like, boom, blank slate, let's go. 481 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:29,440 You know, you don't have to sit here and, you know, again, when we got together and 482 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:34,760 we were talking about our past, we weren't recounting every single episode of every single 483 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,040 bad thing that we've done with each other. 484 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:41,840 We probably would still be having that conversation and probably wouldn't be married yet. 485 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:42,840 Possibly. 486 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:52,440 But I know that we also exposed a lot of things that we did to be exposed. 487 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,560 We did talk about a lot of stuff that had to be exposed. 488 00:28:55,560 --> 00:29:01,000 There were definitely things that needed to be talked about. 489 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:09,840 And I think that that's the part that we're getting at, that allowing yourself to be transparent 490 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,960 enough with your spouse to say, this is what I'm struggling with. 491 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,240 This is what I'm dealing with. 492 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,200 You know, even things that don't even quite make sense. 493 00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,920 Like, well, why are you thinking that right now? 494 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:24,920 I don't know. 495 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,120 It's just, this is what I'm dealing with. 496 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,120 It's weird. 497 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,400 I don't, there's nothing there. 498 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:35,360 I don't even understand, but this seems to be the battle that I'm battling right now. 499 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:41,360 When what we get to be as spouses and as each other's helpmates, we get to come alongside 500 00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:43,260 and say, well, guess what? 501 00:29:43,260 --> 00:29:46,340 You don't get to battle it by yourself now. 502 00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:56,400 This is now something that we get to come together and we get to speak the name of Jesus 503 00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,400 over. 504 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:04,080 This is something that we get to pull down the strongholds and call down heaven and ask 505 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:07,720 God to give us direction, give us wisdom. 506 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,040 How do we handle this father? 507 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:17,240 How, you know, because we've got friends, we've had people that have even come on here 508 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:23,320 and like we've had people that have talked about like battles with pornography. 509 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:29,280 We've had other people that are battles with, you know, lust, but battles with other, right? 510 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,640 Like just other things. 511 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:39,680 And it wasn't dealt with to the capacity that it could have been dealt with until the other 512 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:40,960 spouse knew. 513 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:41,960 Yeah. 514 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:46,520 Until it was brought to the light, until it was brought out of the filing cabinet. 515 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:47,520 Yeah. 516 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,640 Until, you know, it's like you could, the one spouse could claim Jesus and cover it 517 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:52,960 with Jesus all day long. 518 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,800 And again, thank you father for your blood. 519 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:56,800 Thank you for that, right? 520 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,800 Thank you for the covering. 521 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:07,320 Ultimately, it's like, do you want to be healed or do you want to be made whole? 522 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:08,320 Right? 523 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:09,800 Like, do you want to be healed of this? 524 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,280 Yeah, I want to be healed of this. 525 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,280 Okay. 526 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:13,280 But do you want to be whole? 527 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,960 Like, do you want to be restored? 528 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,720 Because being healed is one thing. 529 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:18,720 Like it's still there. 530 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:19,720 The evidence is kind of there. 531 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:20,720 It's still, it has residue. 532 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:25,640 Like, okay, well, I've been healed of this, but I still have that. 533 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:30,920 When you become whole, like your whole being becomes restored, your thought process, the 534 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:38,240 way you respond, your actions, your reactions, like those buttons that the enemy has had 535 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:44,360 play in for so long, they start becoming disengaged. 536 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:52,560 It's walking in that kind of freedom, not having a fear or a concern that when your 537 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:57,840 spouse is out of your presence, that they may be doing something or thinking of something 538 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:02,320 or talking to somebody or whatever, all of the things. 539 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:09,280 Like there is a genuine freedom and a wholeness and a healing that comes to everybody involved. 540 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,280 Yeah. 541 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:11,280 Yeah. 542 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:12,280 That's true. 543 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,720 That's so true. 544 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:20,280 Because it is, it's, you know, even with the filing cabinet and trying to shove all the 545 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:25,560 Jesus, you know, it's almost like you're trying to do all the Jesus knowledge and you're trying 546 00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:29,880 to check off all the boxes of, look at me, I'm a good Christian. 547 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,560 And you know, I've done this and I've done this good deed and I've done this good deed 548 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:37,160 and I learned this and I went to this class and I got this certification. 549 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:42,360 And it's like, but did you talk to God about it? 550 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:49,560 You know, did you, I appreciate that you took your notebook and you wrote all these really 551 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,600 great, really, really great things. 552 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:58,440 But did you show God the inside of the front cover of here's how I grew up. 553 00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,520 You know, here's what I was called when I was a kid. 554 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,420 I don't want to be called that anymore. 555 00:33:05,420 --> 00:33:10,720 You know, and because God can do that, you know, God can do that restoration. 556 00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:12,720 God can make you whole. 557 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:18,760 You know, it's like, I don't know why I'm going off into this tangent, but I am. 558 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:23,920 It's like, God did it. 559 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:27,320 I'm going to mess it up. 560 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,200 God did it for Jacob. 561 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,200 Okay. 562 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:37,200 You know, and you know, cause, cause, you know, they, they said Jake, Jacob was, you 563 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:42,000 know, trickster and fraudster and tricked his brother out of his inheritance for a bowl 564 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:49,160 of soup, you know, disguised himself with the help of his mother to steal his, his brother's 565 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,920 birthright. 566 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:58,760 You know, and, and had a dream where he was wrestling with the angel of God and said, 567 00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,320 God, I can't beat you. 568 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,960 I'm not going to give up. 569 00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,640 I need you to change me. 570 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,360 I need you to change my name. 571 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:08,600 Yeah. 572 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,680 And so, I'm not leaving here until you touch me. 573 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:16,400 You know, it's, it's like, I want to fight this out with God. 574 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:17,400 Yeah. 575 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,800 I'm not going to give up. 576 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:20,800 Yeah. 577 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,920 But I need you to beat me. 578 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:24,720 I need you to win. 579 00:34:24,720 --> 00:34:25,720 Yeah. 580 00:34:25,720 --> 00:34:34,280 And he said, okay, from now on, you will walk with a limp and you will now be called Israel. 581 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,440 And people will know that you have been in my presence. 582 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:38,440 Yeah. 583 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:39,440 You know? 584 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,440 Yeah. 585 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,440 Yeah. 586 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:42,440 And we hear all these stories. 587 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,560 We celebrate all these stories. 588 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:45,760 Yeah. 589 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:50,960 And then we sit here and think, I was too promiscuous in my past. 590 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,680 I could never be great. 591 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,140 I could never, not even great. 592 00:34:55,140 --> 00:35:00,840 I was too, I was too much of a sinner when I was a teenager, when I was in my twenties, 593 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:05,680 that I can now no longer be good in the eyes of God. 594 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,400 I will never be able to have a healthy marriage. 595 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:09,400 Yes. 596 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:10,400 Yeah. 597 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:11,400 Because I have too much stuff. 598 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,400 Right? 599 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,400 Right? 600 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:14,400 And that's... 601 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,400 It's a lie. 602 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:16,400 It's a lie of the enemy. 603 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,400 Yes. 604 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:18,400 It is. 605 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,520 It's a lie of the enemy. 606 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:26,520 And I do, I hear all these stories and I do my best to read all these stories. 607 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:33,400 And it's like, it's so, the Bible makes it seem so simple. 608 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,400 Yeah. 609 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,400 And it really, really is. 610 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:37,400 You know? 611 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,400 Yeah. 612 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,400 It really is. 613 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,400 It really is. 614 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,600 God, I don't want to give up. 615 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,600 Yeah. 616 00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:46,600 But I need you to win. 617 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:50,760 Man. 618 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:58,080 And we're so, we as humans are so afraid to say that. 619 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,080 Man. 620 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,080 Man. 621 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,080 Crap. 622 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,080 Man. 623 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:10,680 Yeah. 624 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:14,200 Don't know where that came from, but there you go. 625 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,160 It's good. 626 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,320 So it really is that easy, folks. 627 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:25,480 It really is that easy to just say, God, I was a bonehead. 628 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:26,700 Yeah. 629 00:36:26,700 --> 00:36:30,120 I want to be better. 630 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:36,920 Don't just cover my sins, my past, my flaws with your blood, but wash me clean. 631 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,400 Yeah. 632 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,400 Replace my blood with your blood. 633 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,400 Yeah. 634 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:42,400 Yeah. 635 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,400 I need you to win. 636 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:46,400 Yeah. 637 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,400 God, I need you to win. 638 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,400 Yeah. 639 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:54,640 I'm not going to give up, but I need you to win. 640 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,600 Because I think it's that first part that's important, because how many people are like, 641 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,240 I'll just give up and I'll just sit here and I'll let God win. 642 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:04,800 It's like, no, you have to be an active participant in this. 643 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,760 You have to, have to, have to be an active participant. 644 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:08,760 Yeah. 645 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:09,760 Wrestle it out with him. 646 00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:10,760 Yes. 647 00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:11,760 Yeah. 648 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:12,760 Go deep. 649 00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:13,760 Find out the reasons. 650 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:19,080 Like, I'm sure the reason why he was, he's like, I do not want to be the same person 651 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,840 when I leave here. 652 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,200 I do not want, and I don't, and that's going to look different for everybody. 653 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:29,600 Every one of us has got some sort of different something, but it's, even those that have 654 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:38,000 walked this life literally from birth, literally walking the golden streets and doing the things 655 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:46,440 and being with Jesus, you have to, have to battle this out. 656 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:53,280 It's like, it's an easy thing, but it's not, but it is, but it's not. 657 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:59,480 Because we have flesh and we have an enemy, but when we know, when we know that we know 658 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:06,600 that we know that we can trust the one that we're battling this out with, it is easier 659 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,680 to stand and say, you want me to change this? 660 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:10,680 All right, good. 661 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:15,280 Then I'm going to trust you, but I'm going to trust you to help do it. 662 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:21,600 Because I can't, we've already proven, I can't, I can't do this without you. 663 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:29,720 And then just be raw and transparent and real and then let him win. 664 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:30,720 Yeah. 665 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:35,240 Bottom line, does it? 666 00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:36,240 It's really good, babe. 667 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:37,240 Thanks, babe. 668 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:42,480 It's like, I almost want to say that was a fun one. 669 00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:43,480 Man. 670 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:47,480 Did not know that was coming out. 671 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,920 I watched your face. 672 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:52,080 That's good. 673 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:53,080 That's good. 674 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,080 Yeah. 675 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,080 All right, guys. 676 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,080 Have the best week. 677 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:21,040 Enjoy the journey.