Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi.
Hi babe.
How's it going?
It's good.
How are you?
I'm good.
I think we're cute.
Again, these are times where we need videos.
We need the things, but it's like you're looking, double checking, are you in the right
space, all of the things.
And then we hear scratching at the door because your dog wants in and all this stuff.
And it's like, but we make eye contact of, we've got to stay silent until you start talking
and do the eyebrows and the things and the stuff that, you know, a lot of times married
people do.
It's the nonverbal communication of, do you hear that?
I do hear that, but we're going to keep moving.
That's right.
Because when we came down here, she was eating and drinking.
She was.
And we didn't even know that we left the room.
Nope.
Like, yeah, and then it's all of a sudden it's like, where's dad?
Which I got to admit, it's like, I wish she would realize that her food exists outside
of when she's standing right in front of it.
Okay.
Because it's like, especially days I'm working, she'll like hang out down here in the office
with me all day and not eat or drink.
Yes.
And she'll be like, oh no, and it's like, I could see this look of panic.
Like I want to eat, then go eat.
Go eat.
Yeah.
You don't have to stay here.
Go eat.
But she's being trained to eventually just be with you and not leave your side per se.
Yes.
But yeah, but she's doing really good.
Because today, so first of all, the time that we're recording this is Veterans Day.
Yes.
And when we release it, it'll be the day after.
It'll be the day after Veterans Day.
So happy Veterans Day.
Yes.
Thank you for your service.
You're welcome.
And all of our friends that are veterans, just everybody just cringed all at the same
time.
Yeah.
But we had the most beautiful morning into the afternoon spending time at the World War
I museum.
Yep.
And with all of your friends, your veteran friends and their doggies.
Yes.
And I was so incredibly impressed with our fearless leader's husband's dog.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Maxine is amazing.
Yeah.
I'm going, what?
Yeah.
Like he had to correct her once.
Yeah.
And that was because of sparks.
Yeah.
But we're not going to talk about that.
No.
But it was one of those things like all of a sudden she's like, oh, we're dogs.
And oh, nope.
Sorry.
I thought we were taking a break.
We're actually working.
Here we go.
And he's like, oh, I'm going to use a leash.
But he wasn't holding it.
No.
It was just, she's following right there all the way.
Yeah.
So incredibly impressive.
I think I've seen him use a leash once or twice.
Yeah.
Mad skills.
Yeah.
But I mean, and again, he's had her for years.
Yes.
But the, just the dedication, the commitment, just all of what you see, I'm just going like
she's right with him.
Yeah.
And then she's like, do, do, do, do, do, here we go.
And everybody was so respectful and kind to you guys, to the dogs.
We are in a, probably a building full of what?
75% at least of veterans, if not more.
Yeah.
And I was telling our daughter today, like when we got home and just chatting about the
day and just, you know, she's about to leave and I was like, Hey, let me, you know, well,
what happened?
What, you know, how'd your day go?
And I was like, I think my favorite part of hearing of today was just the honor, the respect
you have people from different walks of life, backgrounds, genders, ethnic groups, all of
it.
And it's just in different and even different branches of the military.
But you had this common feel of honor of thank you for your service.
Hey, good morning.
Good morning.
How are you?
And I was like, it was, it just felt really good around everybody today.
I was like, this is nice.
This is, this is literally how the world should be.
Yeah.
And it's so funny because it's, it's like, it's something about veterans.
You know, again, it's, I, I joke there so often where it's, it's like, there's so many
times where veterans don't have to admit or announce or, or, you know, say, Hey, I'm a
veteran or wear a shirt that says, Hey, I'm a veteran.
Yeah.
I know I'm being super obvious and weird.
But it's like, there's something about vets.
We recognize each other.
Yeah.
It's, there's a common, it's familiar.
There's a familiar something.
Yeah.
And it is, it's, it's not like, you know, some people are like, Oh, it's cause you all,
you know, have that military barrier.
And it's like, not even, it's not even that.
It's, you know, it's because it's not like you walk around standing at attention and
marching everywhere, you know, but there is, there's something about veterans.
We can smell our own.
It's like, I hate to say it like that, but we can smell our own.
But it's like, even when we go to the VA, right?
The hospital and you're, you're getting blood done or you're doing something and all this
stuff and it is, it's just that, and you've got spouses, you have family members that
go, hi, I am your, we joke.
I'm your support human or your service human, whatever.
But it's like, um, you know, who is who, you know, the players.
And it's funny because I would say even being a supporting spouse, being a supporting person,
veteran person, I don't know, I'm a supporting player.
We can see each other.
The supporting cast can see who's taking care of who in the equation, right?
So it just, I just, it's beautiful.
I mean, it's just beautiful.
I, I, I love it.
I love your little motley crew of people that you get to go and you get to learn this new
space of life with.
And um, and it's just, yeah, it's just good.
And today just felt really good too, cause you know me, I'm the talker.
I'm the one that wants to know all the things about the people.
And I, I'm really grateful for, um, the people that God has placed us in the middle of because
it, it, it feels like a very mixed matched family, but it's, everybody's looking out
for everybody else.
Nobody, nobody like we were kind of spread out.
We're walking through this museum.
Everybody's at their own pace, but nobody left anybody.
Like you would see everybody casually circle back just to make sure that everybody was
still with the group.
I loved that.
It was, it was just, and I don't mean to go on and on about it, but it just, it was really,
it was really neat.
And so today as the civilian of the group, I do, we, we honor, we honor our veterans.
We honor those that have chosen to give a portion of your lives, literally a portion
of your lives, um, to keeping our, our nation free.
So thank you.
Thank you, babe.
Thank you for being one of those people.
And I was thinking about that because thank you.
Thank you for saying that.
Um, I appreciate it.
I was also thinking earlier because I know we have friends and there have been talks
of, you know, there are some veterans that don't always appreciate being thanked for
their service.
And there are, you know, a lot of veterans that, you know, oh, thank you for your service.
And it's like so awkward.
It's like, do I say thank you?
Do I say you're welcome?
Do I say have a nice day, enjoy the next 24 hours?
You know, it's, what do you say?
You nod your head and yeah.
Cool.
Um, but I was, I was thinking about that.
It's like, you know, because there are, there are a lot of veterans that are like, well,
that was my job or, you know, I did something really horrible.
So you wouldn't have to, and I don't really want to be appreciated for that.
Or I don't want to be thanked for that because then that really brings up everything that,
you know, so it's like, you know, it is, it's like, but it is, you, you want to say thank
you, but it's like, thanks for putting your life on hold.
That's it.
Thanks for willing to sacrifice yourself and your mind.
You know, even parts of your body, potentially, right?
Just like you, you, you did something so I didn't have to.
Yeah.
And what did you say when we were leaving the property?
Oh, I mean, I, it's, I would love to take it, take credit for it, for, for mine, but
it's, it's not, I've seen it so many places.
But it's, uh, veterans and soldiers and warriors and all that they don't fight because they
hate what's in front of them.
They fight because they love what's behind them.
Yeah.
Like, I know you said you didn't, like you didn't coin that, but that was literally the
first time I'd ever heard it.
And I said, in my mind, I'm thinking, even said it out loud to you.
I was like, I think that is genuinely the absolute best way I think anybody has ever
said something of that nature to have a greater understanding.
Cause one of the understandings that we even talked about was watching history.
Like we're watching these videos and we're watching the things.
And then someone leaning over and saying, like, we're literally repeating history or
we're seeing different things of history that are just constantly on a repeat.
And uh, and then speaking to another one of your vet friends and just looking at them
and saying, I think us as a nation, and I'm going to say nations.
Okay.
So cause again, other people from other countries do listen to us, but it's like, it is okay
to say, I love my country and still hate some of the stuff that happens with it or in it.
It is, it is absolutely possible to have two different mixed emotions there and still be
very stable and steady in the fact that I love this even though I don't like this.
And so, um, yeah, I love that.
I loved that.
Yeah.
It's like, I've heard people say, it's like, I love my country.
I don't like my government.
That's it.
That part.
Like, I mean, we do, we say it, our house says that a lot.
Like it's just like, we love our country.
We just, we don't like the government.
We don't like our government.
And it's not even as the whole, like I'm sure there's good things that are there too, but
just under recognizing, understanding that there are flaws and that things need to get
better.
And it is okay for you to still stay in that space.
So anyway, that has absolutely nothing to do with anything that we're going to be talking
about, but for the most part, for the most part, for the most part.
So what are we going to talk about, babe?
Well, I know we are going to talk about a couple of things, um, that, uh, we did.
I, it's like, I want to say publish, but it's, it's not like published.
Like you can go to Amazon and get it, but we have, we have completed our booklet.
Yes.
Um, based on our episode one, 109.
Good job with your, take your vitamins.
Come on baby with your research over there.
Well it's, it's open to the page and I have, I have a, I have a, I have a notebook full
of all of our episode numbers and titles.
Um, because I'm weird that way.
Um, I'm glad you do.
Thank you.
It's one of us has got to keep us on track and you're really good at it, but it is, it's
a, it's a booklet that you and I created and, um, like you said, based off of taking your
vitamins, we've already had a good handful plus of people that have bought it.
We are going to be, um, doing a couple of little tiny revisions and then we're going
to reorder it again.
And so it is available if you guys want to order it by all means, please contact one
of us, DM us, whatever you got to do.
Um, if you live in the area and you know who we are, come find us or you probably have
a phone number.
So text us, but it's one of those where, um, whether you are married, I believe that I
put this in our, um, in, in the very front of the book, but it's whether you, whether
you have been married for five minutes or 50 years, this is absolutely something that
could help tweak the foundation of your marriage and just help continue.
And if it's a good marriage, it's going to just make it better.
If it's, if you're, you're struggling, then this is going to help make it better.
And it's called taking your vitamins.
And um, basically we broke, broke down the acronym of vitamins and what that looks like,
what we believe that looks like as far as in a, um, as far as a marriage is concerned.
So, um, we are also going to be starting, um, we've already started working on our devotional.
We're going to continue moving on that.
Um, we have, uh, named our, we're not, we're going to be very quiet about it, but we've
named our working title, our working title as far as, um, oh, as far as the book, one
of the books.
Yes.
But I was just thinking, um, we're in the process of doing the relationship coaching.
Yes.
We're getting that.
I'm certified.
Yes.
I'm working on my certification.
Yeah.
Um, so we're working on a website for that.
Yeah.
Um, just getting all that lined up and, and then start figuring out how we can best help
everybody.
Yeah.
Um, because you know, it's, there's days where I want to stand back and I want to look at
people and say, would it be nice for us to make money off of this?
It would.
I mean, ultimately, um, in my mind, I think a workman is worthy of his hire.
So if, if this is something that you see, oh, wow, okay.
They, they're really trying to pour into us.
Yeah.
Um, and you want to either bless us or if you need help, if you, if you need a little
bit of just, um, guidance in some stuff, you know, we would absolutely love to be available
to people.
Um, that's not our, our end game though.
I mean, ultimately the end game is just, you get healthy.
If we get money off of it, that'd be fantastic if we get paid for our services.
That would, that is, that, that is something we would like to do.
Yeah.
But it's, we're not trying to get rich off of it.
We're not trying to.
No, we want, we want, um, we want relationships to thrive and to be healthy.
Yeah.
I mean, if, if this could, you know, I mean, between my woodworking and relationship coaching,
if that could be our primary full-time jobs, I wouldn't be upset.
That would be beautiful.
Yeah.
Um, we just got real transparent with you guys.
There's our hearts, you know?
Um, but we know that God's ultimately got the last say.
He's going to do whatever he wants to do.
We're just doing our best to be obedient to every step that he tells us to do.
And so where this gets to land, um, we have ideas, but ultimately, you know what?
We can make plans all day long, but God, you're the one that makes them happen.
So we are going to be obedient.
We're going to continue to move forward and, um, and just know that God's got, uh, good
for us and good for y'all.
Yeah, that's right.
Okay.
What else?
I think that's it.
I mean, as far as our like projects, in addition to the other projects that we've been planning
and teasing and it's like, I do, I feel bad because I know there are some people out there
that like they have a never ending timeline on their projects and they don't have a really
an end date and they'll like announce, you know, Hey, we we're working on this.
And five years later, we're still working on this.
And it's like, can you make the progress?
I think like, I know, like, I know one of the things is like one day we're going to
get cameras in the studio.
Yes.
It's like, I almost want to sit here and say January 1st.
Let's do it.
Let's just say it.
January of 2025, we will have cameras in the studio.
Let's, let's just say that.
Yeah.
Let's just say that.
It's like, part of me gets nervous that I'm going to have to figure out like really cool
backdrops.
So it's not like, look at all the Luke Star Wars collectibles.
But trust us when we talk about relationships.
I think it'd be fine though.
No, I think it's fine because it is.
It's nice in here.
It feels good in here.
Every time we have it, a guest or even my friends, right?
My, my girlies with our podcast, everybody is incredibly comfortable.
It's a good space to be in.
Yeah.
No, it's a good space to be in, but I think January is a good, that's solid.
That's absolutely solid.
We could, we could absolutely do that.
Our goal is also to kick out another book before the, before the end of December.
I would love to try to shoot 25 of like, of like in a month.
Oh, that's my goal.
Okay.
I've, I've already, I mean, that's my goal.
Yeah.
I mean, that's my goal.
Okay.
That's that, that's literally what I heard in my head and that's what I'm going to go
with.
All right.
Cool.
You already know is what we're going to do.
It is, it's, it's, it's knowing that things are moving in the right direction that we're
going to, I think, I think another book and whether it's a booklet or a book, but it's
going to be something.
And then, and then the video cameras come January.
Yes.
I think that all sounds good to me.
Yeah.
That sounds really good.
Yes.
Okay.
I know I kind of came to you with a quick idea.
Yes.
How long have we been talking?
Almost 20 minutes.
Okay.
I think that's going to be very, very long, I don't think.
So we had some amazing friends that we had lunch with the other day.
Yes.
And she and her husband are newlyweds, like very fresh.
And when she's been talking to us, like he is a lifelong, well, I say lifelong friend.
He's a really good friend.
He's a good friend of yours that's been there for quite some time.
And then, and then it's like, she's, we don't know much about her at all, but she's incredibly
precious.
So we're sitting here having a conversation.
She says, there's something different about you guys.
Yes.
And I was like, okay, like, what do you mean?
And she says, now I've been around a lot of married couples, but something about you guys,
like, and she goes, and I think what it is, is this.
She goes, when I'm around married couples, and even if they seem very happy or seem fairly
happy, there always seems to be this underlying feeling of resentment.
Something is seated inside of them that there's like this, this thing of resentment that's
on them.
I don't feel that with you guys.
And so when she had said that to me, I immediately like almost went through a Rolodex in my head
of all the different couples that we know and the people that we've encountered.
And I remember distinctly a friend of ours from church talking to me.
And I said, can you tell me kind of like, what is, what is one of the number one things
that you see people whenever they come to talk to you women, the wives, what is the
number one thing that you see?
And she says, they come to me angry at their husbands because they did not keep them safe
before they got married.
And I was thinking, we were intentional.
Like a lot of people know our story.
They know how we were very intentional.
And I told her, I said, that's one of the number one reasons why we did the things that
we did the way we did it.
Why we didn't sleep together.
We didn't do the things we did.
We kept ourselves very upright and all of this stuff.
And it was because we needed to know that the other one was safe with not just our hearts,
but with our bodies, with our minds, with our thoughts.
And so in my mind, I'm thinking there's going to be some listeners that are going to be,
I know that you and I talked about the ripple effects.
We talked about the ripples and the things like that.
And in my mind, I'm thinking, my prayer is this, and like I said, this might be very,
very quick, but my prayer is this, that if you guys see that there might be something
that you keep hitting, or if you are teasing with each other and you tease in a way to
where it kind of like, almost like you're gut shooting each other, like gut punches
or you're just kind of poking at each other and not really like backhanded compliments
almost, too.
If you find that you're doing this with your spouse, if you find that you're doing this,
even maybe with some family members, right?
Just like, again, we're rolling into the holidays, the things are happening.
We're about to encounter people.
If you see that these kinds of patterns are starting to happen with those that you are
around, specifically your spouse, but like other people, then I would encourage you to
maybe try to figure out maybe where the deep seated, and it can't, it doesn't always have
to be resentment itself, but just the deep seated, there's something that's there that
somebody, disappointments or anger or it is resentment, but it's just maybe start,
maybe walk into the holidays, but then into the new year with a mindset that I'm going
to be completely honest and transparent, because again, the people that listen to us, most
of them are married and I want them to not go, well, you know, well, Dina, Luke, we didn't
do it like that.
We didn't like this and it's kind of too late for us.
It's never too late.
One thing we've always said is it's never too late, but my prayer is that your communication
opens up and that you start getting really real in the conversations that, and the feelings
that you're having.
Well, why do you, why do I always feel like you're slamming me?
Why do I always feel like you're whatever in this space?
And then, and then ask God to really help you heal that space, bring it to light.
Man, this was like, however long ago you still keep, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Like you can still heal that so that way there isn't an undertone.
That way you know for better or for worse through all of the things that you are absolutely
on the same page and you're going to be making it all the way till death do you part.
Yeah.
Cause that, that is, that's the important part because it is, you know, I think it's
especially I've, I've seen it especially where, you know, people maybe got married before
they were Christians or before they got really a hundred percent committed in their faith.
You know, it's like, you know, and they got married and they thought they were doing the
right thing.
They thought they were doing okay.
And then it's like, as they dig deeper in their relationships, as they get further in
their walk with God and it's like, well, this doesn't, this didn't line up or this doesn't,
you know, it's, you know, a lot of questions, a lot of, you know, what's going on.
And you know, in the past we've talked about, you know, the fingerprints and stuff like
that.
And I think it's, it is, it's one of those things that, you know, the, you know, especially
if you weren't as committed to following Christ when you get married or when you were dating
and it is, it's the whole, it is, it's, I don't want to say regret and I don't want
to say those kinds of things, but it is, it's, it's, it's almost the, it's almost
like the woulda, coulda, shoulda's.
Yes.
It's the man, we should have done it so much better, man, we could have done this a different
way, you know, Oh, if we, if we had done it that way, would we be in a better spot today?
You know, and it's, it's those kinds of questions.
You know, it's, it's so like in my mind, a lot of it's not so much the questions of regret
or doubt, you know, or, or the resentment, but it is, it's the, it's, it's, it's those
questions of the woulda, coulda, shouldas, you know, but it's, but it's even sometimes
with us, you know, well, if, if, if we had done, you know, if we had met each other and
done it right before we met our exes, you know, would this have been, would this have
been so much better, you know, would we be so much better people?
Yeah.
You know, and it's, it's those kinds of questions that it's, it's, it's that thinking, it's
that attitude.
I think that we really want to talk against today, you know, and, and it's, because it
can get you in a trap.
It can get you in a trap.
Yeah.
And it's, it's not necessarily a bad thing to, to sit there and say, you know, oh, I
wonder if it would have been different, but it's, it's when you, when you sit in that,
you know, it's, it's when you dwell on that, it's when you, when, when that kind of thinking,
when that kind of attitude, when those kinds of questions are all of a sudden consuming
you or maybe not consuming you, but they're interfering enough where it's changing your
heart or it's changing your mind.
Yeah.
You know, because again, I mean, we could sit there and say, oh man, you know, if I
had, if I had taken this job instead of that job, you know, if I had been working over
there now, instead of working here, you know, oh, our, our finances would be so much better.
Right.
And it's like, would they?
Right.
I mean, you don't know.
I mean, would your finances be better, but would your mental health be trash?
Come on, babe.
You know, and so it's, you know, so it is, it's, it's those kinds of things.
It's, it's, we can, we play the what if game, we play the what a shoulda, coulda game.
And we always think of it would have turned out so much rosier, prettier, fancier, wealthier,
more prosperous.
You know, we don't, we don't think, you know, when we, when we do these daydreams or we
get wrapped up into this spiral of thinking, we don't think of the, well, our lives could
end up in trash, you know?
And I think that is, that's, that's, that is, that's almost the trap of this, of think
about it, but don't get wrapped up.
Don't sit in it.
Yeah.
You can think about it and say, okay, well, what's the solution?
That part.
Yes.
That part.
And I think that that's one of the number one things, the takeaway, the, because again,
we have words and we have sayings all over our house, all over our house.
And one that is right next to our bedroom is it's, it's not always necessarily what
happened to you, but how you respond in the midst of it.
Right.
And it's like, okay, so this, this happened to you.
Okay.
So you, maybe you had sex before marriage.
Maybe there was infidelity that came somewhere along the way.
Maybe, maybe you were living together before you got engaged.
Maybe you lived together before you got engaged.
Right.
All of, all of the things, right.
All of the things.
And it's one of those, you stand back and you go, but if, who could we have been or
what could we have done?
It doesn't matter.
The fact is that it's done.
And this is where you stand back and you say, okay, so what do we do now?
What do we do now?
Okay.
So if we, if you have done something that you know is against the word of God, then
okay, father, we repent.
And I thank you that you're going to restore what the enemy has stolen from us.
I thank you that you're going to bring back beauty from, from ashes.
I thank you that we're going to learn from this, that we get to, we get to gravitate
and go higher as opposed to saying, well, you know, we're never going to be able to
be part of something because we've messed up.
No, it says who says who?
Because we have a redeeming grace, we have a good God that, that says, Hey, like just,
like just cross, you know, what is it?
The cross correct or whatever.
Am I course correct?
Thank you, babe.
The course correct.
Just, just course correct.
You're, you're going to be okay because here's the deal.
You're now, you now have a muscle.
You now know better.
You now have a situation and you, you can say, no, like you, no, like you don't want
to do it like this.
I promise.
Tell me what, ask me how.
Ask me how I know.
Right.
And it, it, what it does is it keeps the enemy from coming in and literally stealing any
forward progress, any kind of joy that you might be trying to, you know, walk through
any kind of, um, I'm not, I'm not this person anymore.
I want to, I want to do better.
I want to be better.
I want to strive higher.
I know I can because a lot of times you and I have said it over the years when, if it
wasn't for the grace of God, and if it wasn't for us identifying and understanding that
we are more of who God has created us to be as opposed to the past that we came out of,
if, if we, if we did not have people supporting us and if we just didn't have God supporting
us in the midst of it, then we would be throwing our hands up in the air going, what's the
use and just continue.
Yeah.
And nothing's going to change.
So I might as well just keep going down this path.
And it's like, no, eventually you have to say, this isn't who we are.
We, we, we, we get to, we, we get to forgive each other.
We get to ask for forgiveness.
We get to make right what's been wrong.
And then, and then we get to pursue that path together so we can become stronger.
Yeah.
So, so, so we can become stronger.
Yeah.
That's where it is.
And so it's like, we're all going to hit stuff in the middle of our marriages.
Like stuff's going to happen, right?
Whether, okay, yes, you and I started this amazing story.
Like our marriages is, we've got a very, very solid foundation, but we've been hit hard
over the years, over almost 13 years, different things have tried to come alongside and, and
chip away or hurt that foundation.
What do you do?
You go right back to, okay, I choose you.
Yeah.
I choose you and I'm going to continue to choose you and I'm not changing my mind in
choosing you.
Yeah.
And we're going to get through this together and it's going to be okay.
And we're going to have a greater understanding and we're going to love each other.
And we're going to be honest and we're going to be raw and we're going to be real.
Yeah.
But ultimately, we're going to, at the end of the day, choose each other.
Yeah.
Because that's who we're supposed to be and that's what we get to do.
Cause at the end of the day, it is, I joke about it.
It's talk about it, pray about it, date about it.
And if we embrace those three things, if we talk about, hey, I'm feeling this way.
Hey, this question came up into my head.
A, it brings it out into the light.
And we admit this is how I'm feeling, this is what I'm thinking.
Or when you said it, this is how I interpreted it.
And it's like, oh no, it's not at all.
But it's A, talk about it, you bring it out into the light and it takes away its power,
so to speak.
And B, pray about it because God can fix, God can rearrange.
God can give us the wisdom of, oh, maybe I should be taking this step instead of that
step.
So, and then date about it, reconnect and remember why you are you.
Remember why you're married.
Remember why you're together.
Remember why this person makes you smile that way that nobody else can get you to smile,
that special spark.
And that's what it is.
Embrace those three things.
Embrace those concepts and it can.
It can.
At the end of the day, you want to be married.
Yes.
Hopefully, I pray.
So again, taking those steps ensures and guarantees that you stay married in good terms.
Yes.
Or on good terms, not in good terms.
But yeah, so that's what it is.
And again, we're not saying that these kind of thoughts and these kind of questions don't
pop up in marriages because they do.
We're human.
Yes.
There's an enemy.
It happens.
Yes.
But again, it's the, what do we do with it?
You know, again, I know you're a lot of times with our children, you say, our feelings,
our emotions, God gave us our feelings and emotions.
It's what do we do with it?
That's it.
You can be really mad and angry about something, but what do you do with that anger?
That's it.
At the end of the day, that's what matters.
Yes.
You know, even joy, you know, joy.
What do you do with that joy?
Yeah.
You know, I mean, we, I've, I've seen the joke, totally unrelated, but I've seen the
joke of, you know, people that get so excited that their sports team wins a major championship
that they riot and they destroy things in their own city.
It's like, how does, how does, how does happiness turn into burning and flipping cars?
It's so weird.
It's like, uh, hold on.
No, no.
Yay.
I'm so excited.
I'm going to burn my house down.
Woo.
It's so dumb.
I don't get it.
What?
Yeah, I don't understand.
Okay.
So weird.
But it is, it's like, be productive with it.
Yeah.
Make it, make it something, make it work for you.
Be productive.
If you're going to be mad, okay.
Like I'm pretty certain.
Like I've looked at you at times and been like, if you're going to be mad, like, like
be mad at the enemy.
Let's be productive about this.
If you're going to be mad, then fight for your marriage.
Don't fight with your spouse.
Fight for your marriage.
Use the fuel.
You're ticked.
You're sad.
Then y'all you're crying.
You're crying.
Okay.
If you're going to cry and get upset, then cry out out of a desperate as out of a desperation
out of a praying as opposed to, you know, crying and whining and God forbid, please
do not go running to somebody else and all the things.
Right.
Like be-
Unless you're going to run to a pastor for advice and counsel.
Come on.
But you hear it, like that part.
But outside of somebody like, oh my gosh, he's just such a horrible human being, you
know, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Take that time.
Just breathe.
Just take a deep breath.
Breathe.
You know, and then be like, man, like this isn't okay.
Okay.
But not, yeah, you're right.
It's not okay.
So what are you going to do with it?
Yeah.
What are you going to do with it?
Did you, did you say for better or for worse or was it just for the better?
Yeah.
Richer or for poor?
Oh, just when you have money.
Right.
Come on now.
Like I, how suck of a marriage to be in if babe, if you only wanted to be married to
me when things were good, that, how suck of that?
Like that's not okay.
So you don't want that done to you.
Don't do that to your spouse.
Right.
Be somebody that's in the game that's in it.
I'm in it to win it.
We're going to do this.
We're going to get to the other side and it's going to be even better than when it was before.
But, but whatever it is, if there are some speed bumps, if there are things and it does
every so often, I'm like, I feel like we repeat ourselves a lot, but it's okay because I,
but these are the things that we genuinely, it seems like on a weekly basis seem to be
hitting.
It's like someone comes to us on the, like on a constant and it seems like it's the same
four things.
Yeah.
And it's like, okay, okay, okay.
If we can master this, okay, maybe let's try to go out at a different angle.
Okay.
If we could, it's, it's fight.
Or again, you know, I mean, I, I joked that we're boring because we keep saying the same
thing, but on the bright side, we're consistent.
We are consistent.
You know, it's, you know, it is, it's, it's that, you know, we are the same people that
talk on this podcast versus go out to a meal and talk with friends or hang out around a
fire pit and talk with friends or, you know, wherever, you know, at church, it's not like,
well, you know, the person you portray on your podcast is not the person that I see
at church.
Well, yeah, that's cause I doctor myself up when I'm on my podcast.
So I sound better.
Yeah.
And it's like, no, it's, this is, this is who I am.
Is it, you know, this is it.
What you see is one of those things that I'm going to have to work on it because sometimes
I look grumpy.
Mostly thinking for the pod, for, for video, for cameras.
Oh dear.
Yeah.
Sometimes I look grumpy.
That's okay.
It works when I'm at church and on security.
Hey, you look grumpy.
Yes.
Cause I want to look scary.
I want to look like security person.
Hey Paul, I want to look unapproachable.
Why do you keep coming up and saying hi to me?
Oh, hey, how's it going?
Oh, thanks.
I want to look unapproachable and be on security so I can protect people.
Here you are.
Side note.
So a coworker who loves to give me a hard time and wants me to look scary, he said kind
of what you say to me.
He's like, Luke, I want you to follow me around, but you're not allowed to talk.
You just, you just, just stand there.
Just stand there and look like you do.
Don't talk.
He's like, cause as soon as you talk, it's over.
It's over.
You smile and it's like, it's over.
It is.
You, you are so, you're, you are incredibly kind.
You're a good human being, babe.
Thank you.
You really are.
So this week, you know, let's see the elections are over this week.
The all the stuff, the veteran's day is now over.
Brain core celebrated their birthday.
All of the things.
Okay.
All of the things like life can already be hard.
Life is lifing.
Things are happening.
You know, be, just be a good person and start with your spouse.
Start with your spouse.
If, if things are rough at work, if things are heavy, like in our world, we already told
you guys how in our world, just things were rough for a second.
Just figure out what is causing the roughness.
Okay.
Oh, it's this, this job.
It's this, you know, it's these people, it's this thing.
It's that stuff.
It's like, and just name it, find what the source is, get at it.
And then remind yourself that you've got somebody that's on your side.
Remind your spouse this week, today, tomorrow, next day, you're on their side.
And even if things look a little hard, if finances are a little tight, if, if the kids
are going a little cray cray, whatever it is, just remind your spouse, listen, I got
you.
We're here.
We're doing this together.
I don't know how it's going to go.
It's like, what is it?
We're going to hurt a lot of people.
Whatever they say.
You can't ask me any questions.
I'm just kidding.
But that's, it kind of feels that way.
It's just like, just know that I have got your best interest at heart.
Because the enemy in the world is doing its best to trip us up and distract us.
So why should we help?
So with that, we're going to end.
Period.
Yeah.
All right, guys.
Have the best week.
Enjoy the journey.