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Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.

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Hi.

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Hey babe.

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How's it going?

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It's good.

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How are you?

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I'm good.

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Good.

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It's another beautiful day.

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I think it's a beautiful day.

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I have been enjoying our weather lately.

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It's overcast.

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It's gray.

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It's drizzly in the mornings.

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It was a sleepy weather according to our daughter and according to your mom.

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So I went and cleaned for your folks because that's what I do every other week.

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Excuse me.

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And so our cute little man decided to have a sleepover with grandma on pop pop.

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And it was spontaneous, had absolutely no clothes, all the things and stuff.

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And Amy got to go take him do some shopping because that's what they do and that's fun.

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But I asked Gabri, you know, hey, because her job isn't quite the most consistent with

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the time, but you know, in all the things.

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But I said, hey, how about you?

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You want to make some extra money?

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You're already on that side of the world.

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Just go ahead and come meet me grandma on pop pops.

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So her and I roll up probably within a couple of minutes of each other.

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I walk in Hank, which is their dog, is like barking like crazy, like high pitch hard bark.

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Right.

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And I'm going, why isn't anybody saying anything yet?

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Right.

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I walk in our little boy is his nose is stuck in a book.

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And your mom, bless her, is asleep in her chair and not hearing a thing.

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And then your dad's in the back of the house, you know, and just like probably with his

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ears turned off doing his own little thing.

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He was in his office and to the point where I pop in and I go, hi, dad.

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And he goes, hi.

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He goes, did Hank greet you?

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And I said, you heard him.

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So I said, but nobody else did.

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Mom's asleep.

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But he goes, she slept through that.

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And it was one of those things where she, you know, it's, it was spitting on me on the

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drive over and it's just overcast.

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And it wasn't until we left this afternoon that the sun finally decided it was going

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to come back out again.

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And then I think, I think it's, I think it's hiding again.

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I don't know, but I'm not mad about it because like we went out to lunch afterwards.

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Your parents took us out to lunch, me and the kids, and I think every one of us agreed

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and decided that we are so ready for fall, just bring on fall.

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Like we're, you know, summer has been nice.

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It can go now.

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And I haven't looked directly at our weather maps or our forecasts, but I think for the

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most part, it seems like we're pretty much done with the 90, 90, 90s, like high 90s.

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I think it's supposed to get low 90s like next week, I think.

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But only for like a day or two.

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High gross weird stuff.

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And then next week we start school.

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That'll be interesting.

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I have it.

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I have mixed emotions and the conversation that we had today at lunch was, I said, Hey,

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I want to let you know that Luke has a theory.

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We're like, okay.

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And we're watching kind of like Olympic stuff and whatever the highlights and stuff on the

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TV.

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What's my theory?

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The theory is the reason why people love summer so much is because of school.

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It's summer vacation because I looked at your mom and dad who both were Air Force retired,

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all the things, but then went into the school district and started teaching or counselors

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and things.

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And, and it's like, what, why are you so excited about?

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I'm excited about summer.

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Why?

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Because I get a break from school.

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And then I was like, cause you know, Gabriel turns and looks at me.

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She was, when is your favorite season?

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Mom.

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And I said, fall, fall all day.

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She was like, I would have guessed spring.

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And I go, Oh no, no, no.

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Like fall.

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Like I love fall.

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I love fall.

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I love the way it smells.

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I love the things that comes with it.

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All of that.

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You know, me, I'm a leaf peeper, leaf peeper, leaf peeper.

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I love that.

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Like watching all the leaves change colors and the beauty.

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And it's like, one of my favorite sayings of all time ever is, um, God created trees

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to show us how easy it is to let go.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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But yeah, it's, uh, you know, from kindergarten until you're a senior in high school and sometimes

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college years, depending on the college you go to and the classes you assign, you decide

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to take, but it is, it's, you know, so that's 13, possibly 17, 18 years of your life, especially

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your formative years where you are taught summer is break.

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Summer is when fun happens.

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Yeah.

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No, I'm good.

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I'm good.

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And so again, it's kind of back to our theory of if we went to year round school, I'm for

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it.

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We had that conversation today too.

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Would that attitude of everybody thinking summer is the greatest?

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I don't think so.

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Would, would that change?

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Yeah.

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I think it would change tremendously because it's like, I know that there's going to be

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people that naturally love summer.

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They just love them.

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The heat are our girls, one of them, but she, she's hard pressed on that fall.

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She loves her fall.

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And it's like, um, I'm, I'm in the space of what is it?

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Fall, spring, winter, summer.

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That's how they line up for me.

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And I'm like, and again, not that I'm against summer.

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I enjoy summer, but, um, no, I'd much rather go snow or snow, go snow, go ski and decide.

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I don't even know how to ski, but I probably would learn if I had a little bit more of

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an opportunity and all the things, but it is, it's, it's, it's enjoying the things,

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all of the different seasons of life, not just the one, you know?

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So I think, I think it would be a good thing.

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So I'm for it and if that bothers some people, sorry, but I, I, I've literally had this

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strain of thought since I was like junior high when they were even having conversations.

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Um, you know, they were doing polls in schools and ask, ask the students, you know, ask their

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opinion and I'm like, everybody's like, no, I don't want all year round.

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And I'm like, it's the same amount of time.

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And you actually, your brain gets a better break and you're able to retain things longer

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and things become settled.

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And it just, it's a natural kind of circadian rhythm that you just get to go fall into.

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Yeah.

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Let's go.

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Cause I do.

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I mean, I, I know there's, I know there's kids that talk about it, but it seems like

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more often than not, there are kids that just get bored of summer break, you know, because

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you're at two and a half, three months of just, you now have almost no structure.

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Right.

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It's like, I have Phineas and Ferb in my head now.

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104 days of summer vacation.

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Yeah.

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You know, and you're like, that's a long time.

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And what are you going to do with it?

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Yeah.

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You've already been spent out probably the first two weeks.

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Yeah.

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And then you're like, I'm ready to do something.

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And now it's no longer that many days of school of summer break.

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It's not.

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Yeah.

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See, sorry.

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Let's go on a rant.

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That is, that's our rant.

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That's kind of our rant.

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Not a rant.

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Just.

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These are our thoughts.

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It's legitimate thoughts.

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Yeah.

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We ever decide to homeschool, I think we should do the all round.

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Oh yeah.

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We probably would.

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I think that that would be the best way to go about it.

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I mean, especially because, I mean, I know there are people that are, that are experts

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in this and know a lot more than us, but you know, I mean, the fact that you, you know,

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especially if you break it up and spread it out, you can, you know, you can do just three,

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four hours a day.

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With that and it's like, you know, well, yeah, as long as I'm teaching my kid.

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Yep.

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And you can do like the non-traditional thing is to teach them stuff.

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Right.

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You know?

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Yeah.

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It's like we've got big, we actually got quite a few people in our pockets that have done

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this and are doing this successfully.

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So I need to just sit down and really have a chat and y'all know who you are.

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So when you hear this, just kick my chair.

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Please.

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Yes, please.

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Because we are, we're sincere.

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We want to, we know that God's got some things on the horizon.

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We know that there's some things that our family itself wants to do.

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We've got some desires that, you know, we've, we want to enjoy the journey.

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Part of that, part of enjoying the journey is, is the education of our children.

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And I'm saying children, Gabriel included, she is still very much in that vein.

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And we are too.

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We're still learning too and we never stopped learning.

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Yeah.

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But I do, I want to get on, I really want a sound situation that we can stand back and

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say, yes, that's it.

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That's exactly where we're going.

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And that's the way that we know that God wants to do it.

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So anyway, all right, babe.

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So speaking of seasons of life.

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Yes.

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I was like, I will segue.

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I will segue from one to another.

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Yes.

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Speaking of seasons of life, we were, we were thinking earlier, you know, I make this sound

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like, you know, there's this great big brainstorm that happens when we sit down and contemplate

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what we're going to talk about.

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It's not as big as you might think people.

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But we were, we were thinking of it kind of in my mind, I saw something and it made me

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think of what's something that we can do daily or weekly to, you know, be focused and kind

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of recenter ourselves, reprioritize our relationship, our marriage.

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And so for fun, I'm calling this take your vitamins.

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I like it.

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And I looked at you and I was like, Hey, wouldn't that be really cool if we came up with things

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that started that like the first word of all these things spelled out vitamins.

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And we literally busted it out within like five minutes.

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It was like, Oh, okay.

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I'll play this game with you.

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Yeah.

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So we're going to, we're going to break these down.

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We're going to talk about these, but really quick.

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So take your vitamins, vocalize, intentional time, admire, move, initiate, negotiate and

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sexy time.

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That's right.

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Yes.

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I like it.

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Cause you, cause you want to take vitamins, not just with vitamin.

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That was my cheesy line for the day.

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I mean, I, I, I take vitamins on a regular and my packet is probably about eight, eight

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different vitamins on, on top of like four or five others that I take just for.

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Actually, I think in your pack, it's only like four or five, but it's more, it's broken

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up into.

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Oh, is it?

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Yeah.

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Oh, okay.

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Cause I'm like, man, I am rough.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's your, your multi pack is only like four or five different vitamins.

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It's just for like a couple of them.

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That's like their multiple pills, like, like two capsules for this one vitamin.

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So it's like, you know, for those, it's like two a day type thing instead of one a day.

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I feel better.

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Okay.

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Well, that's fine.

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It's fine.

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So I take a lot.

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I take a lot.

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You do.

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I mean, like I sound like a maraca if I'm not careful, but I'm not mad about it because

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it keeps me spray, spray.

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Yeah.

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Sure.

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We'll go with that word.

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Spray.

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I'm almost 50.

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I say almost 50.

251
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000
I'm not almost 50.

252
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,120
I still have, I'm just now knocking into 49.

253
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,120
Let's go.

254
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,120
What?

255
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,120
I'm not almost 50.

256
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,120
I didn't say a word.

257
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,120
You're looking at me crazy.

258
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,680
I mean, you're almost 49 and a half.

259
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,400
Babe, stop talking.

260
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:32,240
That's enough because see what I did there?

261
00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:33,800
I have, baby, I just vocalized.

262
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,600
You see what I just did there?

263
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,600
Okay.

264
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,600
So V, so let's, let's, let's jump in it.

265
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,600
Yeah.

266
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:44,600
We had the opportunity and the ability to, and the honor to speak Wednesday night at

267
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:56,400
our church and we were gifted a time to basically give some fundamental truths of what we believed

268
00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:01,560
were some really good solid basis for our family and for who we are.

269
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:06,840
And I did, I kept thinking like, cause I went and I rewatched it and just because I was

270
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,400
wanting to pull some nuggets out of it too.

271
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:15,960
And I was thinking at any given time we could have said, and it, you know, it starts with

272
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:16,960
your marriage.

273
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,880
It starts with your marriage and this starts with your marriage and this starts with, and

274
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:24,200
so I was really grateful that our pastor, you know, one of our pastors had just basically

275
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:30,680
said, yeah, no, like, you know, they didn't specifically touch on, but this absolutely

276
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:35,780
goes into what your marriage should be, what you should be striving for.

277
00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:42,920
And so I would say one of the number one things that we, that you need to start off on anything

278
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:49,160
when it comes to relationships, marriage in particular here, but any kind of relationship,

279
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:53,000
specifically this is your vitamins because sexy time, you can only do sexy time with

280
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,440
your, with your married partner.

281
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,520
Right.

282
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,160
But vocalize.

283
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,160
You need to let them know what you want.

284
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,160
What's going on with your mind?

285
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,160
Yeah.

286
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,160
What's going on with your head?

287
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,160
What are your concerns?

288
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,160
Are you doing okay?

289
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,680
Hey, what's going on with you?

290
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,120
Like you and I have been away from each other all day for the most part.

291
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,640
You know, it's like, well, text kind of check in.

292
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:18,520
Hi, you know, like you and I are very, very good about letting each other know that we're

293
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:19,520
safe.

294
00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,520
Yeah.

295
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:23,960
We have arrived at the destination that we said that we were going to be at.

296
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:29,040
And then, and then what would you usually do is like, Hey, do you need anything while

297
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,040
I'm out?

298
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,040
Hey, are you good?

299
00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:32,040
What's going on with you?

300
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:38,280
Like when I got home, come sit down in my little chair in your office and then just

301
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,040
say, Hey, how are we?

302
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,040
What's going on?

303
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,040
How's our day?

304
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,040
What are we thinking about tonight?

305
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,040
What are our thoughts?

306
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:49,600
Do we have anything that we're, you know, like, what do you want to accomplish today?

307
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:56,080
But it's like, just every day that seems so silly and mundane, but like every day, check

308
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:57,320
in with each other.

309
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,320
Yeah.

310
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,320
Vocalize.

311
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:00,480
How are you feeling?

312
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,400
I feel a little, I feel a little stressed today.

313
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:07,640
I feel a little extra or, Hey, you want to go on a date?

314
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,000
You know, or just whatever it is.

315
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,000
Vocalize what's going on with you.

316
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,120
Vocalize what it is that you want.

317
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,440
Our last episode, we're talking about the things that we like versus the things that

318
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:22,480
we don't like, you know, and it just vocalize.

319
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,480
Be honest.

320
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:24,480
Yeah.

321
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:32,480
And in, in your making your requests known because it's like, I guarantee 99.9% of the

322
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:38,520
time your spouse wants to bless you or wants to be a blessing to you or, or, or genuinely

323
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,960
cares about what's going on in your head.

324
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:45,560
Even if it just sounds like you're rattling, cause I'm very good at rattling to you.

325
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:50,560
Like babe, just, I'm just going to just like word vomit right now.

326
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,560
And you're like, okay.

327
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:57,720
And so just vocalize like, do you want me to try to fix something?

328
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,760
Are you wanting me to come along and collaborate with you?

329
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,480
Or is this something that you're just sharing?

330
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,360
Do you want me to genuinely be excited?

331
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,600
How do you, what kind of energy are you winning from me in this?

332
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:15,040
So I think vocalizing is, is one of the number one keys to make a successful marriage work.

333
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,880
Yeah, totally.

334
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,160
Definitely.

335
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:26,200
And my next one I thought of was being intentional and a lot of it kind of goes hand in hand

336
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:33,200
with the vocalizing in my mind, because when we're being intentional, like 24 hours in

337
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,440
a day can go really quickly.

338
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:40,440
All of a sudden you're scrolling through Instagram or some of the socials or whatever social

339
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,720
media and the next thing you look up and it's like two hours later.

340
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:49,560
And so it's like, I think you as a couple need to be intentional.

341
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:51,960
Like we need to be intentional with our time.

342
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:57,200
We need to be intentional with our words, intentional with how we're feeling in the

343
00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,640
moment.

344
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,400
Live a life that is intentional.

345
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:08,800
I know one of the signs in our living room, it's, you know, live a life with intention.

346
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,820
Know that no, no moment is wasted.

347
00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:13,720
Your words aren't wasted.

348
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,440
Be intentional with even how you think.

349
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,460
What are you meditating on throughout the day?

350
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:24,200
If you're thinking about your spouse and you're wanting to have a date or you're wanting to

351
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:29,000
spend some time or maybe you had a fight or maybe something went wrong or something isn't

352
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,680
right.

353
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,620
Be very intentional with your thoughts.

354
00:17:32,620 --> 00:17:36,800
Make sure that they're not going off in a spiral in a place where they don't need to

355
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:37,800
be.

356
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:42,760
Be very intentional with thinking that are things that are just and true and holy and

357
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:49,080
of good report, thinking the best of the person, believing the best of this person.

358
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:54,120
You know, well, baby, you might've said something that cut me kind of wrong.

359
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:59,160
Well, I need to be intentional and say, number one, he made that hurt.

360
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:03,960
And then number two, being intentional of my forgiveness or being intentional of, I'm

361
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,760
sorry, my understanding wasn't as good there as it could have been.

362
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:13,480
But be intentional with your thoughts, with your actions, with your words.

363
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,240
And then that helps build onto that foundation.

364
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:17,240
Yeah.

365
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:21,400
And also it's, you know, when you're being intentional about stuff, it's like when you

366
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,120
are spending time together, you're spending time together.

367
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,120
Yes.

368
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,120
Yeah.

369
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,120
You're not looking at your phone.

370
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,680
Again, it's that you're doing it on purpose.

371
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,400
You're spending time on purpose.

372
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:38,000
You know, we're not just in the same room together, but we're spending time together.

373
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
Right.

374
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,920
Yes, there are times where you're going to just be in the same room together and be in

375
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,480
the same space together.

376
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,800
But it is, it's the times where it's like, no, we want to spend time together.

377
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:49,600
So we're going to spend time together.

378
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:50,600
Yeah.

379
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:58,880
Again, when I have sat in and talked to you about the devotional that you're building

380
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:06,080
right now, or, you know, if when we have conversations about what's going to happen with our podcast

381
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:09,960
or stuff like that, it's like, we're going to sit down and we're going to be intentional

382
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:17,840
about that meeting and that interaction because we have a goal or we're setting a goal.

383
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,240
What do we want the goal to be?

384
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,600
So yeah, so it's intentional.

385
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:23,600
It's on purpose.

386
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,600
I love that.

387
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:25,600
Yeah.

388
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,600
I love that.

389
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,600
Tea, babe.

390
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,400
So the next one is time.

391
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:35,400
And again, it's kind of like with the intentional, but it's, you know, you're spending time together.

392
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:43,200
You know, it's in a way, this is almost that quantity over quality.

393
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,260
I mean, you still want quality.

394
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:55,440
But again, there's that point where spending time together, you know, even if you are in

395
00:19:55,440 --> 00:20:02,640
the same room, you know, it's that you're still spending time together because when

396
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:08,140
you're together, I mean, yes, people can do all sorts of crazy stuff on their phones,

397
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:14,360
but you know, if you're together, you're going to have a tendency to be more mindful of each

398
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:22,360
other, you know, and it's those times of, you know, the time can be silly, the time

399
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:28,640
can be serious, the time can be long, the time can be short, you know, and I'll say,

400
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:33,600
you know, kind of as we talk these through, a lot of these will interact with each other.

401
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,600
Oh, absolutely.

402
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,600
Absolutely.

403
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:40,600
You know, but it is, it's the, you know, the time, it's not complicated.

404
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,800
It's just spend time together.

405
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,400
It's a go for a walk.

406
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,520
Yeah, go for a walk, sit down, have meals.

407
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:48,520
Yeah.

408
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,520
Her head just perked up.

409
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:50,520
It did.

410
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:51,520
Sorry.

411
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,280
She's in the bathroom, so she's like, she heard walk, what?

412
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,280
Or go cold.

413
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,280
Tick tock.

414
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,280
Yeah.

415
00:20:57,280 --> 00:21:04,720
But it is, it's that, it's the time, it's the, write it in your calendar if you have

416
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:05,720
to.

417
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:11,200
A lot of times people are like, well, that's just, there's not romantic or that's horrible.

418
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:20,440
We had the privilege to go and have some brunch with some friends and they told us like at

419
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:25,000
least once a week, they said every Tuesday, but if we can't hit it on a Tuesday, at least

420
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:31,200
once a week, we go on a date and we just, you know, and I was like, you and I say it

421
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:36,240
all the time and it's like, part of me goes, I feel bad because it's like we want to, we

422
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:41,320
want to do these dates and then just life, life's see what happens, life, life's and

423
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,200
you, but that shouldn't be your excuse.

424
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:51,440
It should be, Hey babe, at this, at this such, such and such time, you know, even if it,

425
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,720
what does your calendar look like?

426
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,600
I mean, Luke and I share a calendar so it's like, we can see each other's what's going

427
00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:00,820
on and things, but it's like, okay, I see right here.

428
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,360
We probably have two hours.

429
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,360
What would you like to do in these two hours?

430
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,200
Is this a two hour time of rest?

431
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,080
Do we go take a nap?

432
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,980
Because we have had those before.

433
00:22:11,980 --> 00:22:13,660
Do we go for a walk?

434
00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:20,240
Do we, I'm going to stop saying that word because she's like, Hey, do we create a time

435
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,320
to where we can get to go be intimate?

436
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,000
Is this, what is it that we need to do?

437
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:34,520
And it's like, always make sure that you are creating the time to make the time, make the

438
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,880
time to create, create the time to make the time or make the time to create the time.

439
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,520
What do you think it would be either way?

440
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,520
Yeah.

441
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,120
It could, yeah, it could go either way, you know, because again, it's, it's that, you

442
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,320
know, it's that being intentional.

443
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:46,320
Yes.

444
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,320
Being vocal about your time.

445
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:50,320
Yes.

446
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,320
Yeah.

447
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,320
So yeah, I like that.

448
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,320
Okay.

449
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:58,680
Uh, Hey, Ed Meyer, Ed Meyer.

450
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:05,280
During our talks, um, on Wednesday, um, I shared with, uh, the group that my absolute

451
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,840
favorite thing in the whole wide world is you.

452
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,080
And then it's like the whole room goes, Oh, you know, and then I actually had the time

453
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,280
had somebody come up to me afterwards.

454
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:20,800
Um, uh, the following time that we, yeah, a couple of days later, um, at one of our

455
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:26,840
services and they said, um, I've been practicing looking at my husband, the way that you look

456
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,840
at Luke and I'm thinking, I'm so glad.

457
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:30,840
Yeah.

458
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,520
I'm so glad if that's the only takeaway that you got out of that, which I don't believe

459
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,420
it was, but like, if that is one of the main takeaways you got that you literally look

460
00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:44,840
at your spouse and, and they can see how much you admire them, how much you desire them,

461
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:51,160
how much you appreciate them, how important they are to you when they can see that, when

462
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:58,840
they hear that, when you vocalize how important they are, what, what, you know, just not just,

463
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,320
Oh babe, thanks for taking out the trash or think those are nice too.

464
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,200
Listen, those are nice too.

465
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:11,600
Like drive home yesterday, um, I was telling you about the conversation I had with my mom

466
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:16,120
on the phone and how like, I was just buzzing around and I was getting all the laundry folded

467
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,840
and then not, not just folded, but actually put away.

468
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,240
Cause that's a big deal in my world.

469
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:26,380
Like I don't like that doing laundry is not a problem for me, but it's all of the other.

470
00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:28,800
And I was like, cause you know, and she's like, Oh, that's so good.

471
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,680
I don't have problems with laundry and I like laundry.

472
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,240
And I'm like, no, listen, mom, like, it's not that I don't like laundry.

473
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,600
It's I love laundry.

474
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,720
I love to do laundry.

475
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,040
My family does not go without dirty clothes.

476
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:45,400
And you immediately said, and I sure do appreciate that babe, you know, and you meant it.

477
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:53,000
And it was like, even if it's in the things that we do for each other, you know, speaking

478
00:24:53,000 --> 00:25:01,600
appreciation, um, that's another a appreciation, um, affection speaking, lavishing our love

479
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:07,920
with just the words that we say and the way that we treat each other with honor and admiration.

480
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,120
I mean, that looks different.

481
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:15,280
Yeah, it does.

482
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:18,000
So I'm going to, so as we move on, Oh wow.

483
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,520
I did not intend that, but so M is move.

484
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,000
I really did not intend to say it like that, but that's what it is.

485
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Uh, M is move.

486
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,280
You got to move it, move it.

487
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:33,800
Because again, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's that, you know, physical activity, but

488
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:41,520
it's also, you know, moving in, not just the physical, it's, it's moving in the spiritual,

489
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:46,840
it's moving in the emotional, it's the, you know, almost like the, the take action, you

490
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:53,160
know, we've had these conversations, we've, we've map map mapped out a goal.

491
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,720
You know, we, we've got stuff that we want to do, you know, now let's take action on

492
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:57,720
that.

493
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,720
Let's move on that.

494
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,720
Let's put some food to it.

495
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:01,720
Yeah.

496
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:06,600
You know, so it is, it's that, it's that, okay, you've talked, you've planned.

497
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,600
That's awesome.

498
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,480
But it is, it's like, well, what are you going to do about it?

499
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:11,480
Yeah.

500
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:20,560
It's the, it's the now what, if you will, of, you know, again, it's, we can pray every

501
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:27,680
day all day about stuff, but it's, you know, I, I'm a firm believer in, you know, there's

502
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:35,200
there's, there's a lot of stuff that we pray for that to a degree, God is waiting on us

503
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,200
to take steps about.

504
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:37,200
I agree.

505
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,200
Yes.

506
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,720
You know, it's yes, he wants to bless us.

507
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:41,720
Yes.

508
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:46,240
He wants to see us prosper, but you know, it's, there are things that it's like, you

509
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:50,240
know, again, I can, I can pray.

510
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:54,200
God helps me find the time to finish my woodworking projects.

511
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,200
Yes.

512
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,920
And if I don't actually go out into the shop and do stuff, come on, it's, it's not going

513
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:00,920
to happen.

514
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:01,920
Yeah.

515
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:05,600
You know, it's, you know, we can sit here and pray for things in our marriage, in our

516
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:12,960
lives, but you know, again, if we don't take action on those things, you know, oh, you

517
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,600
know, God, you know, work out my schedule so that I can have more dates with my wife.

518
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,840
Well, just schedule and go on a date.

519
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:19,840
Yeah.

520
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,920
You know, it really is that simple, you know, so it is.

521
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,040
So, so M is move.

522
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,040
Yeah.

523
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,040
Take action.

524
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,040
I'm going to add to that too.

525
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:30,040
Yeah.

526
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,400
Because whenever you were saying move, when we were doing, when we were popping these

527
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:41,280
out really fast, the thing that hit me when we said move was the times where people say

528
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,080
Luke and Dina, I'm stuck.

529
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,520
Like I'm stuck.

530
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,880
I feel like, I feel like I, you know, like I love my spouse.

531
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:50,200
I love my spouse.

532
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,200
Love them.

533
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,200
Adore them.

534
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:57,320
I wouldn't, you know, I've never do anything to harm them, hurt them, anything, you know,

535
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,320
like all of the things, right.

536
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,160
But I feel stuck.

537
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,840
Like I don't even know what to do.

538
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:11,720
And it, in what I immediately saw in my head was like somebody just like, they're just

539
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,600
kind of hanging out on the couch, right?

540
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:17,000
Just laying on the couch, just hanging out the couch, either watching some TV or scrolling

541
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:21,400
on their phones or just on their computer, whatever, just they're together.

542
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:26,200
But like stuck, right?

543
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:31,680
And I, like, I see somebody all of a sudden like hit play on some sort, like their tablet

544
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,640
or something, music starts playing and then the other one just grab, you know, gets up

545
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,040
off the couch, grabs the other one by the hand and they start dancing.

546
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,720
They start moving.

547
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,320
And it's like, well, you know, I mean, like some people might do that and other people

548
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,520
are like, well, I would, my spouse would never dance with me or anything like that.

549
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,520
Move.

550
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:51,040
Do something different.

551
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,840
Be intentional, you know, like, well, that's not our personalities.

552
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:57,000
This isn't really who we are.

553
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,520
It's not really what we do.

554
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,600
Sometimes you need to do something just a little extra.

555
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:08,080
You need to go a little more extreme to kind of like shift that pendulum to go the other

556
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,080
way.

557
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,200
So there starts to be kind of like a balance again.

558
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:17,360
There starts to be a good rhythm going again with your family and with your, with your

559
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,440
spouse.

560
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:25,200
And also kind of with what you said, you know, for the people that are trying to, you know,

561
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:29,080
better their marriage or they feel like they're stuck in a rut or something like that, it's

562
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:33,760
like, well, then yes, try something that you don't, well, that's not normally us.

563
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,160
That's not what we normally do.

564
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,800
Well, obviously what's normal is not working.

565
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,120
No offense, but what's normal is getting you into a rut.

566
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,920
So try something different.

567
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,600
Try something that's off the wall.

568
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:46,600
Yeah.

569
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:47,600
You know, go do some swing dancing.

570
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:52,040
Find a scavenger hunt around, around town or something.

571
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,040
Yeah.

572
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:57,280
But yeah, there's plenty of couple things that are good.

573
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:58,280
Yeah.

574
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,360
Like we did that meat box or whatever.

575
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,400
M E E T, wasn't it?

576
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:04,400
Was it meat?

577
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:05,400
M E E T.

578
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,400
I forget what it was.

579
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:07,400
I don't remember what it was.

580
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:11,640
There was some sort of something that we did that we ordered a box and they basically plan

581
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,640
out your date.

582
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,840
You do a quick little survey and they plan out your date.

583
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,360
So there are things out there that can help you.

584
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,880
If you're somebody that says, I don't even, that's not even the way my brain works.

585
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,560
Hey, get somebody else involved.

586
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:24,560
Yeah.

587
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,120
There's, there's people out there that do this.

588
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:27,360
This is what they do for a living.

589
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,240
They've created these things that makes it easier for couples.

590
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:34,680
Or if you have a friend like you have a, or a family member, that's like, they're really

591
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:35,840
good at the adventures.

592
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,380
Their marriage looks like, man, you guys look like you're happy and just doing stuff constantly

593
00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:41,000
and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

594
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,000
Yeah.

595
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,840
And then maybe get with them and just say, what would be something?

596
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,280
Well, our budget.

597
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,520
We'll be mindful of your budget because a lot of our dates guys literally genuinely

598
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,560
are, we head to the grocery store.

599
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:53,960
We hold hands.

600
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:56,520
Sometimes we dance in the middle of the grocery aisles.

601
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,280
I'll usually dance and he watches me or, you know, there's paddings of the booties, you

602
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:06,240
know, but it, but it's just being together and moving.

603
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:14,400
Then again, if, you know, if, if you go online and search, there are several, I'm, I'm sure

604
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:20,680
there are several things to do that are free in your area that you can just be like, you

605
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:21,680
know what?

606
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,400
Here, I'm going to go wander here for free, you know, and, and this is what we are going

607
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,400
to do.

608
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:27,400
Yeah.

609
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:32,080
You know, it's like, I hate to say it, but even if you go to like the mall or something,

610
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,680
wandering the mall is free.

611
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,240
People watching is free.

612
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:43,480
Um, jump in your car, go house looking, just go look around and, or go hit a lake, go for

613
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:49,880
a walk, you know, well, we're not really outdoorsy people or we're not just, or we're not physically

614
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,600
fit to do certain things.

615
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,960
Guess what guys, if you move, you will start getting better.

616
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:59,120
And then a couple of few months, there's, there's going to be Christmas lights, you

617
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,240
know, hop in your car and go scope out Christmas lights.

618
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,240
Oh, come on.

619
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,160
Not that I want Christmas, but come on, come on with the cold.

620
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:08,160
I like it.

621
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,160
I like it.

622
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,160
Okay.

623
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:16,160
I babe, the other eye, the other eye, the second eye initiate.

624
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:20,440
And this is, you know, again, this is on, on several levels.

625
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:25,520
Um, this could be taken, but again, don't be afraid to take the first step.

626
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:29,320
Don't be afraid to be the one that says, you know, Hey, I think this is a good idea.

627
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:30,320
Yeah.

628
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,920
Or, Hey, I think we might be in a rut.

629
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:33,920
Let's try this.

630
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:34,920
Yeah.

631
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:40,120
Or, I mean, not that we've done it, but I know one time you were like, Hey, I found

632
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:44,040
this place where you can go swing dancing, learn how to swing dance and stuff like that.

633
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:46,160
It's like, we will.

634
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:47,160
We will.

635
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,160
Yeah.

636
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:53,160
Or maybe this is your turn to, to just, you know, Hey, I said, I said a time we're going

637
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:54,160
to go.

638
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,160
I'm going to start looking.

639
00:32:55,160 --> 00:33:00,120
I might've just put my foot in my mouth and that's okay.

640
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,400
That's okay because part of it is being a good sport.

641
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:09,120
Part of it is being a good sport because at the end of the day, the two of you are together.

642
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:15,240
And if, if you have a lot of fun and if I fall on my face, we will still end up laughing

643
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,240
about it.

644
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,280
You know, as, as we're, as, as I'm limping out of, out of urgent care, we will, we will

645
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:24,040
be laughing about what happened and the good time that we had.

646
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,000
It's not going to be that ins...

647
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,000
Come on.

648
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,680
I'm just, I'm just saying, I'm just saying if that were to happen.

649
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:30,880
I got great faith in you.

650
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,720
I have great faith in us dancing together.

651
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:34,720
Yes.

652
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:39,280
I'm just saying if it, if it were to happen like that, you know, we would, we would be

653
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,280
laughing about it the whole way.

654
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,280
Yeah.

655
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:47,320
So even if your spouse initiates something that is a little outside of your comfort zone,

656
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,600
I think is what you're trying to say.

657
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:54,960
Because it's like, again, we are two totally different personalities and as much as we

658
00:33:54,960 --> 00:34:01,880
are so very charismatic and just love people to bits, I am a lot more adventurous when

659
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,680
it comes to a whole lot of different things.

660
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:05,680
Yes.

661
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:10,920
I am, I can't say that because you are incredibly adventurous, but your, yours is very focused

662
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:17,920
and kind of tunnel vision on certain spaces where mine is like, well, yeah, let's go.

663
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:18,920
Yeah.

664
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,200
We're going to go do yoga with goats.

665
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:22,200
Let's go.

666
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:23,960
We want to go in a hot air balloon.

667
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:24,960
Yeah.

668
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:30,440
You know, it's, it's like, but my, but my spouse may not, my spouse may not, but what

669
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:31,440
if they do?

670
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,440
Yeah.

671
00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:37,280
Kind of like what you said, but, but what if, what if this is something I think you even

672
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:43,880
mentioned at last week or the last episode where here's Eric and Lori going golfing.

673
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,040
She doesn't really like to golf, but she sure does like him.

674
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:48,040
Yeah.

675
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,200
And then she ended up falling in love with the sport.

676
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:51,200
Yeah.

677
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:56,400
And that's one of those opportunities where you get to say, wow, I didn't even realize

678
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:01,240
that that was something that I liked because it's never been something that has been even

679
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:02,920
presented to you.

680
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:10,600
So if even remotely within the boundaries and confines and the things and the safety,

681
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:11,600
right?

682
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,160
The things that, that, that are good.

683
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:14,160
Okay.

684
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:15,480
I'm not trying to be weird guys.

685
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:16,480
Okay.

686
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:25,560
I'm saying like those things, making sure try worst case scenario, you just go, well,

687
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,720
we won't do that one again because we have done things in our path.

688
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:29,720
Yeah.

689
00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:34,680
Well, almost 13 years of marriage, we've gone on adventures and done things inside.

690
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:35,680
Okay.

691
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,040
Well, I mean, we can scratch that off.

692
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,520
We'll try that one again.

693
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:40,920
That wasn't fun.

694
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:47,680
And I'll also say, you know, kind of like with the initiate is, I mean, how many times

695
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:52,520
I know it's happened several times in our marriage, but for all of you listeners, how

696
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:57,280
many times has it happened for you of, oh my gosh, I was thinking the same thing.

697
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:58,840
I'm glad you said something.

698
00:35:58,840 --> 00:35:59,840
Yeah.

699
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:05,280
You know, it's like, yeah, it's back to the V, you know, it's back to vocalize, you know,

700
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:13,440
what it is, it's like, there are so often where we as a couple, it's like, we're thinking

701
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:16,240
almost the same thing or the same direction.

702
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:17,240
Yeah.

703
00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:19,520
And it's like, but I don't know how they'd feel about it.

704
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,320
Oh, I really want to say this, but I don't know how they'd feel about it.

705
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,320
Yeah.

706
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,880
Man, I really want to go out and get food, but I don't know if they're hungry or not.

707
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:31,320
And all of a sudden it's like, you're wrapped up in this like spiral of, I don't know how

708
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,200
they'd feel if I said this.

709
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,200
Right.

710
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,280
And then you're thinking almost the exact same thing.

711
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:41,280
And then by the time somebody possibly says something, the time has come and gone.

712
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,280
Yeah.

713
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:43,280
Yeah.

714
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,280
And then you're standing in the middle of regret or standing in the middle of a missed

715
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,000
opportunity.

716
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:53,600
And so it is, it's be, don't be scared to initiate.

717
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:54,600
Yeah.

718
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,400
Because listen, girls, I'm going to talk to the wives.

719
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:57,400
Okay.

720
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:58,400
Ready?

721
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,400
Or the girls.

722
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:00,400
Here we go.

723
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,400
Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.

724
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:10,480
Don't expect your husband to be the one that's doing the romantic gestures all the time.

725
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:16,320
Please, please, please don't be the one that's constantly saying, you know, Oh, I wish my

726
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:18,360
husband would plan a date.

727
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:20,280
Please, please, please don't be.

728
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,280
He loved me.

729
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,680
He would do all this romantic stuff and he would know what I want.

730
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:25,680
Please don't do that.

731
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,680
Please don't do it.

732
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:28,680
Please don't do that to our guys.

733
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:29,920
Don't do that to the men.

734
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:30,920
Don't do that.

735
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:34,000
I have been raised in a household full of nothing but guys.

736
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,000
Okay.

737
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:41,960
So I, I literally am the first girl out of seven generations of boys in my world.

738
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:48,720
And I am the baby girl of like 11 siblings, his, hers, theirs kind of mixtures, right?

739
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:55,320
I've got, but I've got three sisters, only three sisters out of all of those siblings.

740
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,440
The rest of them are guys.

741
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:04,360
And if I have learned nothing else in my 49 years of this walking of the planet, it's

742
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:08,520
that guys, and I, and this is not being derogatory.

743
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,200
This is not being rude.

744
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,000
Are you guys deep thinkers?

745
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Yes.

746
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,560
Is, is this something that you deep think on?

747
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:18,960
Not really.

748
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:19,960
Not really.

749
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,080
And that, and that is okay.

750
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:27,520
If I was to look at you and say, babe, I would really love for you to just plan something

751
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,560
romantic for us.

752
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:34,640
I believe with everything in me that you would do everything in your power to make it happen.

753
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:41,120
I have to initiate the fact that that is something that I would like for you to do.

754
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,960
You have literally said, Hey, I need you to go ahead and just pack up your bags and we're

755
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:45,960
going to, what do I need?

756
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:46,960
I don't know.

757
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,160
Just go ahead and just pack up your bags.

758
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:49,200
Well, that doesn't help me.

759
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,520
Just go ahead and pack up your bags and then we're just going to take off.

760
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:52,520
Right?

761
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:57,920
Like, but it's, it's, it's if you at least let them know that there's something that

762
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,360
you're desiring, something that you're wanting and don't be, um, I know that we haven't gotten

763
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:08,560
to us yet, but I will say, don't be the only, don't expect your husband to be the one that

764
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,440
initiates that constantly.

765
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:17,840
The intimate part, you know, girlfriend light the candles, you know, throw the rose petals,

766
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:22,440
do the things cause I don't know the last time I checked, babe, you like to be romanticized

767
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,720
as much as much as I do.

768
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:30,320
You like to be made, made to feel like you're wanted just like I do.

769
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:36,800
And I think that too many times we forget that we need to, um, initiate the fact that

770
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:43,720
we desire each other in a space and that we want that person in that space with us, whether

771
00:39:43,720 --> 00:39:50,400
it is in that intimate part or if it's worse, we're dancing or we're hiking or whatever

772
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:51,400
it is.

773
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:59,760
The fact is that we desire that person's attention and, and we need to be the ones that says,

774
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:04,320
Hey, so don't, don't expect your spouse to do it.

775
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,240
And don't be the one that makes that gets mad.

776
00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:11,040
If you are the only one that does it, if you want them to do it, if you, if you are the

777
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,440
one that does it all the time.

778
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,440
Okay.

779
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:14,440
So that's a simple thing to do it.

780
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:15,440
Ready?

781
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:16,440
Here you go.

782
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,120
Hey babe, I feel like I'm the one that really does plan a lot of the vacations and the things.

783
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,120
Yeah.

784
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,720
I would really love for you if you could do this for me.

785
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:24,720
Yeah.

786
00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:26,720
Do you think you could do that?

787
00:40:26,720 --> 00:40:27,960
Excellent.

788
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,480
And then you proceed.

789
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,160
And even if it's just, Hey, can you take this one?

790
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:34,160
Yeah.

791
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,160
Yeah.

792
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,080
You know, I know, I know we're about to go on this trip.

793
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,200
Can you, can you plan the stuff?

794
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,200
Yeah.

795
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:41,200
Yeah.

796
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,200
Or can you come and sit?

797
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,400
I want to take a break on, on, on not planning this trip.

798
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:46,400
Yeah.

799
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,000
Or come sit down next to me and let's plan it together.

800
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,000
Yeah.

801
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:56,440
Just initiate, be the one that says, Hey, we're a team.

802
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:57,440
Let's do this.

803
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:58,920
This is what we get to do.

804
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,400
And the end result of it all is we're all together.

805
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:03,400
Yes.

806
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:04,400
So, okay.

807
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,800
What's the next one?

808
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,400
So N is negotiate.

809
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:10,400
Negotiate.

810
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:11,400
Negotiate.

811
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,600
That kind of tags along with.

812
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:14,600
It does.

813
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:15,600
It does.

814
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,440
But it also, you know, and it also is kind of the whole, you know, when you are having

815
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:24,200
conversations, if you, if you have, you know, differences of opinion, because believe it

816
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:30,440
or not, you are two individual people with your own opinions, your own thoughts, your

817
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:35,160
own ways, you like things, your own preferences.

818
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,400
It's always crazy to me.

819
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:40,040
The scripture that comes to my mind, the two shall become one.

820
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:45,000
And I want to go, but they have two totally different brains.

821
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,000
Yes.

822
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:47,160
Like, how is that work, God?

823
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,960
Because now you literally have created a two for one and all of the things.

824
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,440
And we could go into all of the super spiritual stuff of how that even looks.

825
00:41:55,440 --> 00:42:01,920
But ultimately, there's days where I just stand back and I just go one more time, God,

826
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:05,360
you're just showing us that how much we need you.

827
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,320
Because here, I'll say it this way.

828
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:11,920
I mean, especially if you have a lot of these conversations and you are focusing on a lot

829
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,880
of the stuff that's, that's on this list and some of the stuff that we've talked about

830
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:21,080
in our, you know, in a lot of these episodes, you know, when it comes time to negotiate

831
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:28,040
and when it comes time to think of that scripture of the two shall become one on the big things,

832
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:32,440
you know, that's what you're going to have your conversations about before you get married

833
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:33,960
or shortly after you get married.

834
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,920
You know, when they come up, you're going to have the conversation of the big things.

835
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:37,920
Yeah.

836
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:44,640
And then it's like, in a way, it's like after the big things are settled, it's just preference.

837
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:50,000
You know, it's so it's like, you know, hey, we're going to go on vacation next summer,

838
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,200
you know, and it's like, well, I really want to go to this location, but you really want

839
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,200
to go to that location.

840
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,120
And it's like, it's not a big thing.

841
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,740
I mean, it is because it's like, hey, this is where I want to go for vacation.

842
00:43:01,740 --> 00:43:06,440
But it's if we go to your destination instead of my destination, it's not going to ruin

843
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:07,440
our marriage.

844
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,440
Right.

845
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:09,440
It shouldn't.

846
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,440
It shouldn't.

847
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,720
It shouldn't ruin your marriage.

848
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:17,160
You know, again, but it's it is it's just one of those things that it's like, in my

849
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,680
mind, that almost falls into just preference.

850
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,160
Yeah, I like that.

851
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,840
You know, or it's like, you know, how should we rearrange the cabinets and what goes in

852
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:28,120
what cabinets like that's preference.

853
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:34,840
You know, this if that's something that like could potentially wreck your marriage, you

854
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,600
need to go talk to somebody.

855
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:37,760
Yes, yes.

856
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:39,160
And get that worked out.

857
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,640
Because you guys are control freaks.

858
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:42,640
Yes.

859
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:43,640
And that's not good.

860
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:45,680
That's not a good thing.

861
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:46,680
No.

862
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:48,960
Because when I think of negotiate, I think of compromise.

863
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:49,960
Yeah.

864
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:51,640
I mean, that's just another way of saying it.

865
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,160
It's like we're going to sit.

866
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,280
It's like we're big merger companies coming together.

867
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:59,600
And it's like, so we're going to negotiate.

868
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:00,600
Yes.

869
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,920
We're going to negotiate our time, we're going to talk talk about our worth.

870
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:08,680
We're going to talk about what are we bringing to the table?

871
00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:09,920
And what are you willing to give?

872
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:12,080
What are you willing to to let go of?

873
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,080
What are you willing to take?

874
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:14,320
What are you willing to say?

875
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,680
This is this is like, this is a non negotiable.

876
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:22,840
I can't I can't be like, like, this is this is how important this is to me.

877
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:29,560
You know, and it is it's it's if you both come to a bypass and you just stand back and

878
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:35,320
you say neither one of you want to budge, then, you know, just take a step back for

879
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:39,360
a second and say, in light of eternity, what is this going to matter?

880
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,160
Like how incredibly important is this?

881
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,360
Like is this is this a do or die?

882
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,800
Or is this something that we can say?

883
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:48,800
You know what?

884
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:49,800
It's it's OK.

885
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:56,360
OK, well, if if if you if you get to pick out this, then then can I pick out that?

886
00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:02,680
Or if we're going to go here to where you want to go vacation, babe, then then can I

887
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:07,320
look around and see maybe an activity that I would want to do?

888
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:12,760
You know, it's it's like just just find a balance there.

889
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:13,760
Yeah.

890
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:17,800
Find find what is going to make both parties happy.

891
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:21,600
We have sweet friends that are in the process right now of finding a home.

892
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,480
It's like, how do you navigate that?

893
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:31,320
I know for us personally, we we like thought long and hard and we wrote on a whiteboard

894
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,600
all of the things that we really desired out of a home.

895
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:39,740
But by the time it was all done and said and done, we had dwindled it down to maybe like

896
00:45:39,740 --> 00:45:42,360
six main things.

897
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:48,440
And if even if those things weren't completely accomplished, were we willing to say, it's

898
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:52,920
OK, I'm willing to compromise or I'm willing to let that go.

899
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:56,800
It's not going to break the deal here.

900
00:45:56,800 --> 00:46:02,000
And also, it's it's something that if you if in some of these conversations and in some

901
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:06,600
of these moments, you find out that, oh, my gosh, that really is something that's really

902
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,520
important to my spouse.

903
00:46:08,520 --> 00:46:10,620
But it's really not that important to me.

904
00:46:10,620 --> 00:46:11,620
It's like, OK, fine.

905
00:46:11,620 --> 00:46:12,620
You know, go for it.

906
00:46:12,620 --> 00:46:16,920
You know, this is this is not important to me, but I see that it's important to you and

907
00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:22,080
vocalize vocal that you recognize that it's important to them.

908
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,880
And say, you know what?

909
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:29,520
I see that it's really important that the the glasses are in the cabinet right above

910
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:30,520
the sink.

911
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,240
So, you know, that's that's what we'll do.

912
00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:34,240
Yeah.

913
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:35,840
You know, because, again, it's not important to me.

914
00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,280
I just want to know where they are.

915
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:41,840
So when I go to grab orange juice in the morning, I'm not opening every cabinet.

916
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:47,200
It makes me think of that really sweet couple that we met when we went out to Chicago for

917
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,880
our anniversary at the church.

918
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:51,960
Our sweet friend's church.

919
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:52,960
And he's blind.

920
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:53,960
Oh, yeah.

921
00:46:53,960 --> 00:46:57,240
And I was like, I was like, where are you talking about?

922
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,400
They had just moved into their home.

923
00:46:59,400 --> 00:47:00,400
Yeah.

924
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,400
And she's decorating it.

925
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:02,400
And she's so excited.

926
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:05,840
But it's like she's nesting and trying to figure out, like, where should the coffee

927
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:06,840
table go?

928
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,440
Well, maybe it needs to go over here instead of over here.

929
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:13,720
And again, remember, guys, I preface this with he's blind.

930
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:18,720
And so he would walk into the home and he's learned how to memorize things as he goes.

931
00:47:18,720 --> 00:47:24,800
So that way he's not having to walk with his cane as much.

932
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:31,600
And he just simply vocalized to his wife, sweetheart, if you could just warn me that

933
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:37,760
you've let me know that you've moved something or just if you could please just leave it

934
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:38,760
be.

935
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:39,760
Yeah.

936
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:44,020
Find it, love it, and then leave it.

937
00:47:44,020 --> 00:47:48,880
Because that will help me maneuver around easier.

938
00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:51,560
And so he didn't mind her moving things.

939
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:58,840
It was just if you could let me know where you moved it so I'm not slamming my shin every

940
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:03,520
time I walk through the room because you've moved it two more feet to the other way.

941
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:12,960
So I think it's just vocalizing, being intentional, really, really bringing those things home.

942
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:16,480
It'll make things a lot easier.

943
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,880
So our last one.

944
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:19,880
Yes.

945
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:20,880
Sexy time.

946
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:21,880
Sexy time.

947
00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:23,240
Sexy time for those who I mean sexy time.

948
00:48:23,240 --> 00:48:24,240
It is what it is.

949
00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:25,240
Yes, it is.

950
00:48:25,240 --> 00:48:26,240
You make it whatever you need to.

951
00:48:26,240 --> 00:48:27,240
Yeah.

952
00:48:27,240 --> 00:48:29,640
You make it look like however you need to.

953
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:34,760
And sometimes sexy time is you get to do the long lavish all of this stuff.

954
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:36,840
Sometimes it's got to be quick.

955
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:43,360
Sometimes sexy time looks like just holding each other in a brace and just coming into

956
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,920
a space with each other.

957
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,600
Again, being an intentional.

958
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:56,480
But make sure you're being intimate because that is something that is so incredibly important.

959
00:48:56,480 --> 00:49:01,160
I always get mad at the enemy because it's like at the beginning of relationships before

960
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:08,280
people get married, he's so trying to push your bodies together and trying to get you

961
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,280
intimate too quickly.

962
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:16,640
And then when you do finally get married, even if you haven't been intimate before,

963
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:25,320
like we were not, he does everything he can to tear you apart because he knows how powerful

964
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:29,260
that intimate, that physical intimacy is.

965
00:49:29,260 --> 00:49:38,520
He knows what the benefits it has for your brain, for your hearts, knitting you together.

966
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,000
It causes a desire, the admiration.

967
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:44,260
It causes people to not be resentful.

968
00:49:44,260 --> 00:49:47,840
And then it also just all the physical benefits that come with it too.

969
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,800
What it is, you sent me that reel that one day.

970
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:56,920
It's like, I'm going to tell you the top five things of why you should have sex or something

971
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:57,920
like that.

972
00:49:57,920 --> 00:49:58,920
Oh yeah.

973
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:02,960
It helps make you thin or helps make you skinny.

974
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:08,240
And then this lady comes into the frame and she's big pregnant.

975
00:50:08,240 --> 00:50:10,200
She's like, ah.

976
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:14,560
So just take that time to be intimate.

977
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:20,360
Take that time to be intentional.

978
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,800
And again, intimacy is more than just sex.

979
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:24,800
It is more than.

980
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:25,800
It is.

981
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:32,560
It's even speaking, it's what is it that women are the crock pots and guys are the microwaves.

982
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,880
I don't believe that as much either.

983
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:43,240
I believe that we are complex beings that God made.

984
00:50:43,240 --> 00:50:54,280
And you see things visually, like visual stimulation and women are built a little bit different,

985
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:55,360
but I don't know.

986
00:50:55,360 --> 00:51:03,360
I would say that it's kind of all of it, verbally, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually,

987
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:04,360
praying for your spouse.

988
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:05,360
That could be intimate.

989
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:10,760
That could be very much puts your heart with their heart.

990
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:16,120
And then we've also, I know there's been podcasts in the past that we've spoken on, even the

991
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:20,600
times where physically maybe somebody's not able to do something in that moment.

992
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:24,880
There are other ways you can be intimate.

993
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,600
Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

994
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:29,360
Ask him to give you wisdom.

995
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,200
Reach out to somebody that you trust.

996
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,240
Reach out to a pastor.

997
00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:41,600
Ask them if they can give you some advice on how to rekindle even that, the sexy time.

998
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,800
We seem to be, again, we seem to be in a rut.

999
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,400
What do we do?

1000
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,480
You throw this pendulum the other way.

1001
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:53,360
Well, sometimes the pendulum the other way looks a little too far out.

1002
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:54,360
What is it?

1003
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,000
Maybe do something different.

1004
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,120
Maybe go to a different room.

1005
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,680
Maybe a different time of day.

1006
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:02,680
I don't know.

1007
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,400
I'm just trying to help everybody out here, babe.

1008
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:09,200
I'm not trying to be weird about this, but it's like I'm trying to think in my brain

1009
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:15,880
like some of the things that just might help break some people out of that everyday mundane.

1010
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:20,200
You might even have sexy time on a regular amount of time, which God bless you if you

1011
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:21,200
do.

1012
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:22,200
And that's great.

1013
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:25,640
It's something that I think all of us should try for.

1014
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:31,400
It's one of those where, okay, don't let it be mechanical.

1015
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:33,840
Don't let it be mechanical.

1016
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,920
Remember that you're there to be with each other.

1017
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:43,080
That you're there to breathe each other in, so to speak.

1018
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:44,480
Yes.

1019
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:48,480
I like it.

1020
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,160
So there's your vitamins.

1021
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,960
Take your vitamins.

1022
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:53,960
Take your vitamins weekly.

1023
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,720
I think a weekly vitamin.

1024
00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,560
Vitamins would be good.

1025
00:52:58,560 --> 00:52:59,560
Vitamins.

1026
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:00,560
Vitamins.

1027
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:01,960
Spoonful of sugar.

1028
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:02,960
Yes.

1029
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:11,080
But yeah, I think when we walk out these things, it will.

1030
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:15,880
A lot of all of the noise and a lot of the other things will kind of just fall into place.

1031
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:16,880
Yes.

1032
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,840
So we hope this helped you guys out.

1033
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:20,880
We hope you have the absolute best week.

1034
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:21,880
Yes.

1035
00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:22,880
All right, guys.

1036
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,240
Have the best week.

1037
00:53:24,240 --> 00:53:51,040
Enjoy the journey.