Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi.
Hey babe.
How's it going?
It is good.
How are you?
It's good.
It's a good day.
We've got people in here with us today.
We have friends.
I'm excited.
In the studio.
They're more like family.
Live.
It's not just friends.
It's not live.
They're like family.
They are.
Yes.
And madam.
Don't say madam.
Miss Chris might hear that and think wrong thing.
No Miss Chris.
You know I love you.
She's my favorite.
I love her.
Your mama is the coolest.
So who do we have in the studio with us?
We have Cecil and Marsha Garrett.
Hello.
Hey.
That's my canned clap.
So do you want me to say how this all happened today?
Yes.
So we're really excited.
Number one.
Marsha and I have been trying to figure out exactly how long we've been friends.
And we've determined at this point at least seven years.
Yeah.
We were friendly before that.
But like seven.
Like solid.
Like we've been buddies.
And so y'all came over today to help out because y'all are going to start a podcast.
We are.
And I am stoked about this.
Mr. Cecil.
Yes.
Would you like to tell us what the name of this podcast is going to be?
The name of this podcast is 100.
100.
H-U-N-N-I-D.
Right.
Yes.
Because your wife had to explain this.
100.
I'm like what is that?
I'm not sure what I'm looking at.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
So what does that mean?
Well, a long time ago there was a guy I worked with and I was on the verge of marrying his
cousin.
Oh.
And he was like you're about to become part of the 100% club.
I said 100% club.
I said oh he said you're about to be married.
I said oh that's great.
And I never thought about it like that.
And I felt really good and was sort of stoked about it.
I said this is great.
I really want to be married because I enjoyed this woman.
Yeah.
From day one.
Yeah.
And I wanted to make sure that I was doing the best I can to be the best man I could
be for her.
Yeah.
I had a lot to learn.
About me?
A lot to learn about me?
No, no, no.
About me.
Really?
I said who I was before I met you is not who I wanted to be with you.
Nice.
I want to be better.
Yeah that's that part coming out again.
No.
That's like I want to I have no notes to take.
Man I'm going to go back and listen to that.
Wow that's powerful.
Yeah.
Aww.
And you guys have been married for how long?
24 years.
Congratulations.
That's a long time.
Yeah that's awesome.
Aww.
Go ahead babe.
It'll be rolling by but just really quick going back to your like keeping it 100 just
how that kind of how that stuck into even our businesses and stuff.
And just conversations along the years in regards to us keeping it 100 and making it
one.
I remember us saying that what God has put together no man can put us under.
Yeah.
And then us following that up with like not even ourselves.
We only want, not even us can mess this up.
So we got to keep it one.
We got to keep it 100.
I saw what God was doing in this relationship.
Yeah.
And it scared me a little bit.
Okay.
I can say that.
And I was like can I live up to this expectation?
Wow.
And we had to be careful with that word too because I expected certain things from this
woman.
Right.
And I wanted her to act a certain way and dress a certain way.
I grew up in the era with Joan Cleaver.
Oh yeah.
With the pearls.
And I wanted my wife to be like that.
I mean she's got the boots and the heels for it.
I kind of, yeah.
I don't mind wearing dressy heels.
She brings some bougie to the table.
She just don't wear a dress every day.
She just, you know, we'll fix that.
We'll get you some pearls.
I wouldn't mind.
It gets cold right now.
It's like negative four.
Man, you okay.
So you had to break off some preconceived ideas as far as what you thought this was supposed
to look like.
So you go in thinking that you know what, everybody knows what they want.
Right.
But it's not exactly what you need.
You know, when you think you need what you're thinking about, then you find out that you
were putting expectations on people that they can't fulfill.
The next you know you're looking at them a little differently like, oh, this ain't what
I thought it was going to be.
That was your first thought.
You shouldn't have thought that in the first place.
What is this woman going to, how am I going to enrich her life?
And how is she going to enrich mine?
I love that.
That's pretty much how we should have went in.
Yeah, that first five years was rough.
There are no words for the first five years.
Oh my God.
We was bumping much head.
So Marsha rough is not a good enough word.
WW, what is it?
WWE.
That's the first, that's the word for the first five years.
I don't know why we would move in furniture, but we was moving furniture.
It was smack down.
That's tough.
Not to a point we want to hurt each other.
The bull headed of each other was in the way.
And the bull had to get out the way.
Man.
Pretty much.
I love that.
That's when love finally fell on top of both of us.
And once it did, we couldn't let it go.
So love in y'all's definition was basically dying to yourself so that the other could
live.
That's what it meant.
Literally.
Like literally.
That's what a lot of that boils down to.
Because I have false perceived things of what I thought a marriage was supposed to be.
I didn't have a good foundation growing up.
My uncles were all married, but all my aunts were divorced.
Interesting.
You know, once the men in our family get married, they usually stay married.
But the women seem to not have that kind of a look.
My sister, I got four sisters.
And two of them been married twice and one has been married three times.
Okay.
Wow.
And that's not what she wanted.
That's not the way her life wanted.
I didn't want that.
Right.
If I divorce, I'm done.
Yeah.
I ain't doing it again.
I think that was one thing that kept us together.
So both of y'all are one and done.
So the fact that neither one of us wanted to be with anybody else.
So the stubbornness in that, I think on our other podcast, Heather mentioned Ezekiel being
stubborn above the stubborn.
Stubborn for the right reasons.
That kept us together.
I love that.
No, I love that.
We said that.
Our stubbornness kept us together.
We said it several times.
I may not like you right now, but nobody else gets you.
Yeah.
I'm not leaving.
We're fine.
We're staying together.
No, we're not.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'll see you later.
I'm going to work.
I think there's a lot of people that need that level of stubbornness, or at least a
degree of that stubbornness in their marriage.
It makes a difference when you really think about it.
You're like, I did not do this just to see if it works.
I wanted to make it work.
That was said to us by our last pastor when we were in our WWE moments.
He would meet us at IHOP for long conversations.
One thing he said to us, my cousin said it too, but one thing he said to us was, you
don't get married to see if it's going to work.
You get married to make it work.
That is one thing that stuck with both of us.
That was very golden for me because I needed to hear that.
I was at a point, I'm like, I don't know what to do.
I can't get this stubborn woman to listen to me.
Why is she so stubborn?
What do you guys think after the five years, what do you think almost broke some of the
stuff?
What were some practical things maybe that you guys did?
I will tell you, I have to say this real quick.
Because somewhere in there, I don't know what year it happened, but I had, what is it, epiphany?
Epiphany.
Yeah.
I heard the Holy Spirit say to me.
You respect your dad, you call him dad, no matter how angry he makes you.
I mean, my dad had been angry with each other, but I still call him dad.
Your uncles, uncle so and so.
Your pastor, pastor so and so.
No matter how they make you feel.
But your husband is your covering.
He is a man in your life and you will call him Lord.
I said, who, what, when, where?
And all the girls just went, what?
I got goosebumps all over me when you said that.
So.
Wow.
I had to let go of my flesh, let go of everything that I knew, let go of generational hooks.
Come on.
And literally call him Lord.
Wow.
Very embarrassing for the first couple months.
Oh my God.
How did you respond?
I was like, okay, I wish you stopped saying that.
But she told me out of her mouth that the Lord said to do this.
So who am I to tell her the Lord didn't say that?
I didn't know what to think at first.
I'm like, oh, just don't do it around everybody.
That's what he said.
Just you and me, baby.
But then after a while it became natural.
It did not bother me.
I didn't get the big head or anything like that.
And these guys looking at me like, what is he doing?
It's probably pretty humbling in that moment.
It was.
Which is exactly what you get.
You needed to bring honor and respect to the table.
It created something inside of you, probably a love for her that you just didn't even.
I was dropping like this.
Wow.
I was dropping as a man.
I was just, I just felt like I was so beat up.
And then I had to realize that this one was not beating me up.
She was building me up.
Oh, nice.
But I looked at it the wrong way.
Yeah.
And I was like, man, let me not.
But God is good.
I realized what partner I really have.
She is my real WWE.
Y'all are tag teamers.
Do it.
Come in strong.
Y'all hear about some of those WWE moments in our podcast, like Bonnie and Claude-ish.
Come on.
But you know what, and I think about this all the time, no matter how mad we got, we
never cursed at each other.
That's a blessing.
That was awesome.
Never once did I ever call this woman out of her name.
Yeah.
Or, yeah, in general.
Yeah.
I thought about it.
I said, man, I was really mad, but I never called her anything but Marsha.
Yeah.
You might bust out her full name.
Marsha.
Getting the full name going.
Yep.
That's true.
That is true.
She's never cursed at me, and I've never cursed at her.
I mean, and that's a simplistic, just one of those practical things.
I felt like it was the defining moment, and when you start doing that, you have lost respect.
Yes.
I think if you feel like you need to go to that space, that's when you get up.
We're going to stop right here, and you're going to walk away, so you can regain your
composure, because it's not just being respectful to that person, but it's respectful to yourself.
It's like you shouldn't be talking to somebody like that, period.
Come on, you're better than that.
You don't need that.
Yeah.
Because you say it a lot, Marsha, with your girls, that you deserve more like that, and
they deserve to be better than that, to speak in a way.
So, it's breaking off those... It's shallow.
Yeah.
Can you call somebody a name?
I know that y'all work with young people, you work with kids, you have your school,
but you also, you guys foster, and you also have adopted kiddos, and I know that you have
created a standard in your home that lives there, and stays there, and no matter what
somebody's background is, or what they came out of, you remind them it's not you trying
to be hard, it's you trying to... Kind of like what y'all are talking about to each
other, you're trying to create a standard and say, you're better than that.
This is what you're capable of.
Absolutely.
You just said it.
It wasn't today, it was yesterday.
I just said that to the kids.
I had to remind them, but it's fine.
You know what I look at?
The young girls that have passed through our home, and the respect that they show to her
now, they couldn't show it then.
As adults.
Yeah.
As adults, they realize, you know what?
She really was on my side.
I shouldn't have treated her that way.
Yeah.
A couple of girls was just... I wanted to say, you know what?
There's the door.
Go out there and figure it out yourself if that's what you want.
I said, we're not the enemy here.
I'm really, really sorry.
I say this over and over again.
I'm really sorry this happened to you.
I wish it didn't, but you were in a safe place.
But if you make my wife feel uncomfortable, you're going to be leaving this place.
Right.
Say what you want to be.
Do not disrespect my wife.
No, don't disrespect her.
I said, hey, I got thick skin.
You can call me whatever.
I know who I am.
Yes.
You know, it's just a lot of things that layers that people build up throughout the years,
and I just wanted to make sure that those layers are not the ones that's going to cover
me from being able to see who everybody else is.
We got to be careful.
We get things stacked on us, and then we get blinded.
Yes, sir.
I think about a lot of stuff.
I'm like, man, why does this person really like this?
Yeah.
Why do you feel hatred so much?
I grew up around it.
My uncles was, yes.
Not the kindest people.
Not the kindest people you want to be around.
But now today, they're different.
That's cool.
That's good.
I know some people have passed away, but they finally had to come to a group, and one of
my uncles married to a white woman now.
Oh, there you go.
Amen.
There you go.
That's funny.
They've been married for 40 years.
I met her.
Yeah, you did.
I did.
I met her.
Yes.
Joni.
She brought the little crock pot thingy.
Yeah, because I was like, I got to meet your aunt.
Why did she go, the white one?
I was like, well, I mean, she did stick out.
No way.
She did a little bit.
She's awesome.
She's a really good lady.
That's fantastic.
She had three boys.
Oldest boy got murdered.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's very sad because he's very talented.
Dang it.
He was playing football up there in Northwestern.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
He's a big boy, like 6'4", 6'5".
Wow.
And big linebacker.
Wow.
He just had too many girlfriends.
Yo.
Damn, it happens.
What does that mean?
Yeah, no proof, but they think that something happens, so it happens.
Oh, I get it.
I know what it means.
Same way.
I understand.
Got it.
Oh, I'm sorry about that.
That stings.
He's a good kid.
You know, she's really strong.
Her other boys are doing really good.
Good.
My other cousin, Carl, he's a car salesman in Florida.
Fun.
Nice.
He's a car tour eskimo.
I love that.
That's a gift.
Yeah, it really is.
That's a gift.
You have a really good family.
Yeah.
They know how to come together.
I love that a lot about them.
Yeah.
I was going to say, the one time that we've encountered them, they were nothing but precious
to us.
They are.
And just very accommodating and very kind.
They're welcoming.
Very welcoming.
They're very welcoming.
Yeah.
Like, I felt family.
I felt like family immediately.
I went, oh, okay.
Oh, I like y'all.
Y'all are my people.
Here we go.
Yeah.
They are.
It's a good family.
Yeah.
So are yours.
Yeah.
I do.
I have a good family, too.
I love your brothers.
I love all of them.
They're really good guys.
I learned a lot from Aaron.
And even your stepdad, Aaron.
Yeah.
I learned a lot, you know, coming into the union that we did and being around people.
Because I never was really friendly with men.
Okay.
I guess it was a shy thing until they hurt me.
Okay.
Then the shyness is gone.
Yeah.
Because there's always a competition thing when you're coming up.
You know, I hated that I was the height that I was.
Even though I was strong, I just wasn't tall.
Yeah.
So you had to deal with that kind of stuff.
And you bring that kind of stuff into your marriage.
You know, I got a woman the same height as me.
You know.
Yeah.
And then she wears these nice tall heels.
She ain't gonna disrespect me.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Set your little self down, sir.
Can I tell you though, Cecil?
No.
Like you're nine feet tall.
Oh my God.
No, like sincerely.
You are one of the most genuine people that Luke and I have ever encountered.
Like there is a goodness that just exudes out of you.
Okay.
Like I brag on your beautiful wife on a constant.
But sir, like sincerely, this speaks volumes.
You had to be the man of God that he created you to be for this to even happen.
I have to share something with you guys.
Please.
I don't mean to give her a lot of credit, but I have to.
I was a very shy person.
And even in high school, I played in, you know, plays or whatnot.
I did that.
And when I'm in character, I go anywhere.
I can be anything.
But this woman brought things out of me that I didn't even know.
I just kept doing it.
I didn't want to think about it.
Like doing stuff like this, I wouldn't have never did this.
You know, I played in a couple of her plays that she wrote and everything.
And people still talk about it today.
I remember when you did something.
That was 15 years ago.
I love that.
She's very talented.
She has a lot of gifts.
And I like that I'm doing things like this.
Opening up.
I'm being in a shell.
And it needs to because there's so many people out there that are still boxed.
Yes, sir.
And they need to hear from somebody that's unboxed.
Yes.
You do.
He keeps it 100.
Yes.
He does.
Yes.
And I'm usually on the edge of my seat like, how 100 is he going to keep?
But he does.
He brings the realness to our relationship.
So it's a really unique balance.
It's a really good connection.
It's like the right woman.
I'm pretty sure that's why a lot occurred the way that it did.
But once we realized the unique gifting in both of us, you know, we're able to be here today.
Starting a podcast to kind of share a lot of what ups and downs, bumps and bruises and stuff along the way.
Say that again.
Sincerely.
Because there's a lot of people that need to hear that.
That there is a unique gifting in each person that you get to help cultivate and help elevate.
Not change.
You don't want to change the person.
Come on, Marsha.
Right.
Yeah, we learned the hard way doing that.
Oh my God.
Trying to change the person.
I really try to change her.
We did.
We both try to change each other.
But when God brings you together, he's bringing you together for a purpose and a reason.
And if he becomes what I want him to become, then there is no more unique gifting.
The marriage is no longer unique.
It's no longer reflecting what God wants it to be.
His personality.
So we had to embrace the difference.
That was the hard part.
Not seeing from me, I didn't have an example of a godly marriage per se.
And I don't think he did necessarily.
So we had to figure it out God's way.
I took my anger towards my mom when she moved us up here to Kansas City away from my dad.
Because when we lived home, even though he was a drinker, we had a house.
The swing sat in the back.
It was home.
And then she moves up here right into the project.
I'm like, what is this?
You know, I'm around people that don't like each other and there's just chaos all the time.
I wanted to run away, but I'm like, I'm going to run too.
That was a long run from Kansas City to St. Louis.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
But I was angry with her for a few years.
Quite a few years behind that.
Then I finally got the story.
You know, he had issues and then my mom was trying to make sure that we was protected.
And of course, back then, parents don't explain that to you.
We're just going.
Right.
What?
It's got to go with the flow.
Yeah, we just went with the flow.
Whatever mom said, that's what happened.
And I thank God for her because she wanted something better for her children.
My mom was very, very protective for her family and for us.
And she wanted to make sure that we were good.
Yeah. And you carry that into the relationship.
So, yeah.
Very much so.
Keeping it 100.
I love that.
So it's like learn from the mistakes, but don't repeat them.
Don't repeat them and don't waddle in it.
Don't waddle it.
Thank you.
Amen.
Because I know about a lot of waddling.
Yeah.
Because you guys encounter, I mean, you yourselves, your lives,
you guys encounter people constantly that have some of,
you were saying it right before we hit record Cecil,
you're encountering some of these kids that never should have to even deal with any of this,
that you as a grown man shouldn't even have to be seen yourself.
And it's like you could either stay here and be whatever this is it's trying to cultivate,
or you can pull yourself out of it and not let your past dictate your future.
That is a big story.
That's huge.
That is a big thing that we learn being parents, foster parents,
that teaching a new age, you don't need to waddle.
I love that.
And that's helped us a lot in your past and who you used to be.
Right.
By Lord.
This is who you are now.
Yes.
This is where God wants you to be.
This is your DNA.
Christ's DNA.
Come on.
Not a Garrett DNA.
Not even for us.
Our DNA literally could have had us divorced because we didn't see a healthy marriage.
Yeah.
But God said, yeah.
This is the bigger picture.
It was really going on what God wanted for us.
Got to see who he is.
And once we see who he is and what we said already in the beginning,
once we know what, once we let go of who we are and our expectations and pick up God's
desires and what he wants, his expectations, it begins to gel.
And one thing I just want to throw in there before we sign off is that these things come
about fasting and praying.
Man.
Come on, sir.
We read a lot of books together.
Some books we had to go and put down because they weren't right teaching.
But there's a lot of books.
And the number one book is the Bible.
Yes, sir.
The number one book.
So practical.
So sincerely.
It was seriously that Bible that kept us, it opened our eyes again to see what we needed
to see with each other and ourselves.
Can I add to that?
It was, you're right.
Because what we did say was if it's not in the word, then we're not going to do it or
if it is in the word, this is what we do.
When we were arguing, what does the word say about it?
And that is one thing that-
It shut it down.
It shut the argument down.
You can't dog it no more now.
I love that.
Because we both respect the dog.
I love that.
It still do.
Amen.
You guys are a treasure.
Yes.
Amen.
I mean, we, I hope, I might need tissue.
I hope you guys realize how much we honor y'all and appreciate you guys.
You guys help make our family better and we are richer because you're in our lives.
That's a blessing.
You guys are family.
You guys don't know how much that means.
That means a lot because that means that we can actually really talk.
Yes, sir.
No holes barred.
I mean, there's something you want to ask me, ask me.
And there's something I'm going to ask you.
Trust me, I'm going to ask you.
Yes, sir.
Come on.
We're open books and if we don't know, we'll see what the word of God says.
If you can't be truthful to each other, then what's the point?
Yes.
Say that again.
If you can't be truthful to one another, what's the point?
What's the point?
Yeah.
One of the biggest things my wife taught me, don't waste my time.
Yep.
You're just rejoicing over there.
I should have a t-shirt.
You need a t-shirt and a book.
Don't waste my time.
Just paraphrase all through the book.
Yeah, don't waste my time.
Don't waste my time.
And don't waste God's.
He's given you this amazing gift, this amazing life.
Live it to the fullest in the way that he designed you to be.
And you guys are doing it.
Amen.
We do.
We absolutely honor y'all.
Yes.
Y'all are one of the strongest marriages and families that we've ever seen.
And we gleam from y'all.
So thank you for coming and being with us.
Thank you for having us.
You're welcome.
And sometime during 2024, we will have y'all back.
Yes, we will.
Because we know that y'all have at least one or two good parenting tips.
Yes.
Especially for blended families.
Yes.
That we know you guys are going to be sharing through your podcast.
We're excited to hear about it too.
We are.
But we will have you come and grace ours with parenting tips too.
So that'll be fun.
Because most days we still feel like we're just flying by the seat of our pants.
I know I am.
Jesus help.
But you guys, y'all, even though you're not married,
even in the hard, I want to be poetic like Cecil, right?
But even in the hard, when you bring God in, it makes the hard even easier.
And you guys make this parenting thing and this marriage thing look easy
because you allowed him to come into that hard.
And that's the treasure.
That's what people will get to see.
That's what they get to gleam from.
You're not holding back and saying, oh yeah, marriage is easy and kids are easy
and blah, blah, blah.
We got a perfect marriage.
She's fantastic.
He's phenomenal.
Blah, blah, blah.
No, you're like, you guys are going to share this on your podcast.
And that's what's exciting.
Because you're going to get to the nitty gritty.
You're going to help people push through to the other side to where they get to succeed too.
Absolutely.
Keeping it 100.
You guys stay tuned for that because it's going to be amazing.
It's coming out in like a month.
Right?
February.
I heard the rumor it's coming out in February, 2024.
Sometime around Valentine's Day.
That's what I heard.
And you just put a timeline on Marsha.
You're welcome.
All right, guys.
We will see you next week.
Have the best week.
Have the best journey.
Enjoy the journey.
Yes, enjoy the journey.
See you then.