Hello and welcome back to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi.
Hey Dave.
How's it going?
I was looking at the levels as you were talking.
And you were like, oh it's picking up just enough as far as like the heater.
Because guys it's freaking cold still.
So it's not as bad as it has been though.
When I took off to the gym and the sun was shining and we got out of the gym.
It was 18.
It was balmy.
Went down to 15 when we left the gym.
It was 12 when I took Sebastian to bass lessons.
Oh wow.
But like we've had, Sebastian only went to school two days last week.
And school was canceled again today.
So tomorrow he'll get to go to school because it's going to be a whole 31 I think is the
high.
Yeah somewhere in there.
A little 30s.
Yeah it's winter.
It's winter in Missouri.
Like when me and the girls were recording it was starting to snow again.
And it snowed a lot.
Everybody got home safely.
I'm grateful for that.
It wasn't the heavy weird snow.
It was just kind of just, it's good snowman making snow.
But it was like, it was cold.
It was like, it was stupid cold.
Stupid cold.
I mean again, it got so cold here Saturday that one of my football matches in Manchester,
England, the commentators were commenting on the weather in Kansas City while they were
commentating on a game in England.
That's extreme.
Yeah.
So they're, cause they're like, yeah, it's cold here in Manchester.
Not like it was in Arrowhead when it felt like negative 30.
And I'm like, yep, that's Kansas City.
Good job.
That is so funny.
But everybody's getting it.
It's like everybody is, it is not, I don't know.
I haven't looked at like the national weather or anything of that nature, but I know that
my family in Texas has been flimped cold to the point where like their hot water heaters
are getting, like they're shutting down and they're having to warm things up and just
like they have ice water as opposed to hot water and bless them.
I told, actually funny you mentioned the national because I told Sebastian about this on the
way to lessons.
Sometime within the past couple, few days I saw online, they had posted a highs map
of the United States.
And at least it was the lower 48 and they said from Western North Dakota was the lowest
to Southern Florida had the highest.
There was 150 degree difference between the lowest and the highest.
Oh shoot.
Yeah.
How high was Florida?
I forget how high it was, but yeah, it was, it was roughly like 150 degrees between the
lowest and the highest in the United States sometime recently.
That's insane.
Yeah.
That's insane.
Like we saw the, was it the meme or whatever where it said, why do I live where it's cold?
Yeah.
Where do I live where it hurts my face?
Where it hurts my face.
Where the wind hurts my face.
Yeah.
And it was like, and it showed gators, it showed spiders bigger than your head.
It showed giant snakes.
That's why we live where it's freaking cold.
Because I don't mind it.
I love winter.
I'm one of the few freakazoids, I guess around here that actually I genuinely enjoy it.
And as long as we're like, we got our boy, we got him some good snow gloves come in,
got me some boots and potentially a new coat come in.
Cause again, it's so cold that our girl is wearing a coat voluntarily, voluntarily who
never wears a coat or gloves or all of the things, all of the above.
But yeah, but it is winter.
We pray that everybody is well.
We pray that everybody is safe.
Our sweet girl has been getting over whatever she is going to attempt to go to work tomorrow.
She informed me.
And if she does not feel good, dad, she will come home and then we will go to the doctor.
Yes, we will.
Cause she probably needs to go.
But that's neither here nor there.
Right.
So what are we talking about today, babe?
So today, I'm kind of, it's kind of, kind of be a two parter.
First part is going to be kind of like a little bit of a recap, kind of a short, because my
thought is in light of the fact that it is January last year or last year, last episode,
last episode we did early check in of 24 and the week before that it was new year, new
you.
So I kind of wanted to give a quick plug on accountability.
I like it.
I know that we did this in an episode previous, episode 58 for those following at home.
Okay, so it's been a while.
Yeah.
Cause this is 93.
So episode 58 was accountability meets vulnerability.
Yeah.
But I wanted to kind of bring up the idea of accountability because it's important to
have somebody that can kind of hold your feet to the fire.
Absolutely.
You know, if this is what you're going to accomplish or what some of your goals are
for this year, who is that person, that trusted friend, that, you know, even, you know, trainer,
coach, pastor, what have you in your life that can kind of, hey, how are you doing on
that?
Yeah.
You know, I know you and I, it's the, you know, hey, we're going to the gym.
Hey, we're going to make some smarter choices with what we put in our bodies.
But, you know, it's the, you know, some of your good friends, hey, are you keeping up
with your, you know, you said you wanted to do this every once every week.
Are you doing it?
Yeah.
Are you writing?
Are you praying?
Are you walking?
Right.
You know, so it's like, I want to give that plug of accountability.
Yeah.
No, I like it.
No, I like that a lot.
I know that a couple of episodes ago with me and my girls, we were talking about Titus
women, right?
Yeah.
And it's actually, I say Titus women, but in Titus two, it talks about the men as well
as the women.
Like, and basically what it's talking about is the older, wiser man, Marsha said something
and I really wish I had written it down, but I know that one of our guests did, but basically
talking about if the younger would heed the wisdom of the olders, then they would be more
strategic in when they had to war as far as like battle through and just in and live successfully
in this life.
Right?
So it's like giving advice.
Because when you were talking about accountability, like mentors seem to be kind of big life coaches.
I've actually got a couple of friends that are life coaches now.
And a lot of it is just, it's not necessarily somebody telling you what to do on a constant.
I think it's more of somebody coming alongside you and saying, kind of like what you were
talking about upstairs, Hey, I see this going on in your life.
Maybe if you tweak it this way, or maybe if we go to a gym, right?
And one of our, our sweet, sweet friends that was our trainer for a season, Steven, he comes
up, he introduces, kind of introduces himself sort of to you.
He wasn't trying to sell a product per se.
He's just out there working out too.
And he comes up to help you just tweak to not, so you wouldn't hurt yourself and get
better, get better gains or get better progress.
Right?
But that's when I think of accountability, that's what I, that's what I think of.
It's not necessarily somebody trying to take over and tell you what to do.
It's more because I think when people say accountability, Oh, you're just trying to
ruin my life or all you're just trying to, not really.
It's to take the fear out of that, the fear out of, um, man, I failed, you know, well,
I don't want to be accountable to anybody cause I'm going to fail.
Well, you probably will.
You probably won't hit every goal.
If you do, God bless you, man, tell us your secret.
Cause we would like to know.
Um, but or does that mean you're aiming too low?
Ooh, sorry.
I completely stopped your train of thought.
You like literally sat me back in my chair, but it's, but it's one of those where I, I
think, I think if your goal, man, babe, okay.
I think if your goal is big enough, it's lofty enough and it scares you.
Um, you're going to crave somebody to come help you.
You're going to, you're going to desire and have, I believe the wisdom to say, this is
really big.
Um, I'm going to own my part and do what I need to do, but ultimately I can't do this
by myself.
So I'm going to maybe reach out and see if there's somebody that can kind of shoulder
a little bit of this with me.
Yeah.
And, and whether it's, whether it's somebody that that's like a trusted friend type level
or somebody that you are literally hiring to, to play this role in your life and your
sphere.
It's, it's the whole, you've given this person the permission to reach in and, you know,
and, and tweak and hold your feet to the fire.
Yeah.
Kick your chair.
You know, because again, if, you know, our, our friend, you know, if he would have just
come up randomly and you know, well, I'm a trainer, so I'm going to tell you what to
do.
I don't think you would have received it as well.
No, and a lot of people don't because it's like, you know, it, but even if it's total
stranger and said, Hey, I'm, I'm a personal trainer and I've noticed you working out.
Are you willing to listen to some tweaks or some advice that I could give you that would
help you?
Yeah.
You know, even if you approach it as that, you know, or again, if it's somebody that
you are paying or are a trusted friend, what have you, it's, you kind of reach that point
of you, you know, if you need tough love in that moment, or if you need that gentle voice,
you know, and that person will, that person will have that, you know, like we, like we
do with each other, you know, when we do accountability and, and Hey, we said we weren't going to
do this or we said we were going to do this.
Yeah.
So, and that's why we're here.
That's why we're here.
Yep.
So, that's a little plug for accountability.
No, I like that.
I do.
I like that.
So I, I would say maybe if you don't have that in your life already, I know that that
was one of the things we talked about.
If you don't have that in your life already, look at fruit in people that do have what
it is that you're desiring.
Somebody that challenges you in whatever it is.
Maybe even, I know I'm also kind of, this might be a little off topic, but I don't think
so.
Even if you're trying to grow in a greater understanding of something, of our sweet little
brother Sean, calling you up during the political season of one of our elections and, and he's
in a different camp as far as politically than you are.
Yeah.
And he, he came with a humble spirit saying, I just, I want to have a greater understanding.
Luke, I trust you.
I trust who you are.
I trust what you stand for.
Can you give me some insight?
So I have a better understanding in it and I'm not just one sided with even my thinking.
And I think if we, as people would come to the table with, with a desire to learn from
each other, not just to talk, to try to change somebody or to sit long enough.
I'm just going to sit until it's my turn to talk and then I'm going to respond and not
even necessarily engage.
Right.
And I think, I think we do a misjustice to a lot of people and just, there's certain
things in the word of God that God says, but there's also those beautiful spaces where
you work it out.
You work it out with fear and trembling.
You figure it out.
Does it line up with my character?
Does it line up with who I am?
Um, and, and then show love and respect and honor, you know, love God, love me, you know,
love people.
And so, um, I think, uh, take the time, kind of get outside of your belly button and try
to get outside of your scope of even how you think of things.
Um, and that way you can grow, you know, you don't have to take everything, right?
Like, don't throw the baby out with a bath water either.
Like just because you may not care for, find something that you can walk away and say,
I think that was a really good thing or I'm going to learn from that even if it wasn't.
Right.
Agreed.
I like that.
So what's your second thing?
So, so the second thing that's going to the, the bigger, the meatier meaty or not, not
no, not meatier.
Yeah.
The meteor, the big thing coming from the sky is kind of slamming your forehead.
Um, or it might be a tiny thing, you know, whatever.
Um, so yeah, the bigger part of what I wanted to talk about.
And what we want to talk about is I'm going to the short title, hope versus hurt.
I like it.
So kind of the longer title looking for hope versus not wanting to get hurt.
And where is that balance?
Where is that balance?
Yeah.
You know, because I know that a conversation has come up recently and, um, we've had friends
that have, have gone through relationships.
We have been through relationships.
I was about to say, and we have been through relationships.
We haven't made no secret that we in the past knew really well how not to do things the
right way.
We are not each other's first.
We are not each other's first new.
We are the last of each other's stuff.
Yeah, we are.
That's what, and that's what's more important.
Yeah, baby.
But I know that, you know, I know that there are people that they need to find that balance
and they're, they're, they're honestly, I think people truly are looking for the balance
of they've been hurt in the past and they don't want to get hurt again.
Yeah.
But yet there's that spark of hope inside of them that wants to hope and that wants
to find, you know, somebody that's, that's going to be their, their last.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And it's like, so it's, it's where is that balance?
And you know, again, we have both gone through this journey.
Yeah.
It's, it's been a while.
Yeah.
Thankfully.
But, but, you know, for, for people, I think for, for others out there that have, that,
that are kind of still in this, I'll call it a struggle.
Sure.
I'll straight up call it a struggle.
Sure.
I mean, it's a journey, but it's, it's, it can be a struggling journey.
Yeah.
But I think it's a struggle to get back to where we started.
Where do we begin?
So society has not fair, fared well, is that the good way of saying it?
Has not fared well in promoting marriage.
Hasn't done a good job in promoting marriage and holding marriage where to the standard
it should be held.
Correct.
And I think, like, unfortunately, I think even, even people that are still married now,
okay.
So like we, again, we've been incredibly transparent, very vulnerable, very open with not just our
listeners, just anybody that talks to us.
Genuinely, anybody who talks to us, it's just, you ask a question, we'll tell you, it's
fine.
Yeah.
And, you know, marriage can be hard.
It can be, it can be scary.
It can be, but it can also be one of the most exciting, fulfilling, joyful spaces, right?
Like, even it's like, we've been through a lot, like, and I, we had an opportunity to
meet some new people here recently, and kind of tell our story a little bit.
And it's like, when, when we were talking to the young lady, it was one of those where
I'm looking at her going, in the hard is where our foundation has been built.
Like, in the hard is where who we are, that's where the rubber meets the rope.
Like, like there's, there's no, shoot, there's no denying that you and I are thick and thin.
Like this is like, we're through thick and thin, this is where we're at.
We're not going anywhere, right?
For better or worse, for sickness and health.
I mean, till death do us part, right?
And then even if one of us leaves, you know, leaves this earth before the other one, the
other one doesn't get to get married, it's just not something.
Yeah, I'm fine with that.
Gonna get a dog, it's fine.
So we have had this conversation.
I will become a hermit.
No, you won't.
We have children and grandchildren, possibly.
So it's one of those where, and see, even in that little, right, our little just talk
right there, it shows people that you and I have actually had this conversation.
Like we've, we've, we've talked about this before.
We've, we've stood back and said, you know, God is, God has been very gracious to you
and I, right?
He's been very gracious to you and I.
You and I have been married before.
We've had slew of, that sounds horrible, but it's true.
We have had a slew of relationships between the two of us that have been every, everything
but healthy.
Yeah.
And, and when you get to a space, and this is where I believe that, this is where I'm
going.
That's why I believe that there's hurt there because you and I had to go through a season
of healing, right?
Yes, we did.
So when you have been hurt to such a capacity to where it's like, you want to hope, but
you're like, it's, I don't think it's so much, I'm scared to hurt again.
I think when somebody is standing in a place of hope, they're standing at that crossroad
of, I don't, but I don't know how to do this healthy.
I don't know how to do this.
If I do this the way that I have been doing it, the way that it's always been done, I
am ultimately going to be hurt.
Yeah.
Right?
But if I have hope and maybe I start reaching out or I start doing an internal dialogue
of what is it that I need to do?
How do, you know, I'm the common denominator here in all of these relationships.
Yeah.
So how do I need to proceed so that way, not so much that, because you know, not so much
that you and I have ever heard each other, but we've had struggles throughout the years.
But it's also one of those things where when you come in a place of healing in your mind
and in your heart, even your presets, then when that person does fail you, whether intentionally,
unintentionally, usually unintentionally, or maybe a knee jerk reaction because that's
what my ex used to do and you just did that and blah, blah, blah kind of comes up.
Instead of responding out of that place of fear, you start responding out of a place
of, okay, I'm going to believe the best.
I'm going to believe that you have the best intentions for me.
I'm going to believe that you didn't do that on purpose and we're going to work this through.
Yeah.
And I think something you said made me think of something, you know, when people do get
hurt, you know, because again, people will get hurt.
Yes.
Yeah.
You know, and it's like when they're starting that transition from hurt to hope, it's almost
like as they're starting to hope again, they still have to combat that voice of, but what
happens if this is the last time I'm hurt and I'm not able to recover from being hurt?
You know, what if, you know, again, it's kind of like almost like the boxer analogy, you
know, like what hit is going to make you fall down and not get back up?
Yeah.
Like people going out looking for new jobs, you know, people trying new stuff in ministry.
It's like, what is that one last hit that's going to cause them not to get back up?
Yeah.
You know, and I think the way I'm seeing it in my head is that that is kind of that balance
and that is that journey from what if this is the last time I get hurt and not in a good
way, you know, of I want to hope, I want to be there, I want this relationship, but what
if I get hurt one too many times and I'm not able to recover?
See, I don't want to give you a standard answer, but it is the only answer that I know.
Yeah, no.
And the only answer that I know is your hope has got to be in God.
It can't be in people.
100%.
I mean, and I know that that's kind of where I know that that's always that's our fundamental.
That's our answer.
You and I try to do our best not to say, well, Jesus is the answer.
He is the answer.
He is.
But what does that look like?
What does that look like?
Great.
So for you and I, I'm going to say with you, so I had to do a lot of soul searching.
I had to I had to do a lot of forgiveness and I had to do a lot of forgiving.
I had to not just forgive people that hurt me, but I had to forgive myself for allowing
myself to be in some of the positions that I put myself in.
Right.
Yeah.
Like I had to I had to own.
I had to own my part.
Yeah, I had to.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I I'm going to and and a lot of people are going to.
Well, that's really that's that's kind of rough.
That's hard.
And it's like, no, because what that means is when you start owning your part of that,
then God can come in and he can start shining lights into the dark places that have been
hidden away for so long.
And he can start exposing those patterns.
He can he can start exposing the mindsets that have not been the right ones.
He can start rewiring even even your thinking like because the relationship that I was coming
out of whenever you were in my you started coming into that space.
I mean, it had to be it had to be rewired like hard because it was it was so ingrained
inside of me that I mean, if it wasn't for God uprooting some things inside of me, we
wouldn't be sitting here.
Correct.
Yeah.
And to kind of backtrack a little bit, when you do take ownership of your junk.
Yeah.
And I think when that kind of self accountability kicks in of I've been I've been sabotaging
myself or I've been not making the best choices.
Yeah.
So I think when you do own, you get to the point where you own your own stuff and you
own your own mistakes.
I think that is where a lot of really good growth can come in.
It's huge.
And yes, 100 percent.
You know, God is the answer.
You know, God is is the source of hope and all of this.
And it's like, I don't want to discount that.
Right.
You know, because that's that's not who we are and that's not who I am.
And it's just.
But I know there's there.
I know there are people out there that maybe aren't 100 percent hold on.
Can God really do this?
Or they are, but they just don't know how.
Like what's the practice?
OK, Luke, so what's the practical application?
How do I even get that ball rolling?
What do I do?
You know, I mean, that's that that's the questions.
Because we've had friends that look at us and say, I want what you guys have.
Yeah.
But I don't know how to how do I do that?
How does that even work?
And we could tell you write the instruction manual.
I mean, we could write our story time and time again and tell everybody our story time
and time again.
What it takes, guys, is you got to be patient.
You got to be patient.
Man, dear God, you got to be patient.
You got to be patient with yourself.
You got to be patient with God.
You got to be patient with God because just wanting and hoping and desiring like a lot
of times people miss quote, you know, God will give you the desires of your heart.
Yeah.
OK, well, they don't go into the whole scripture of where it's like.
But he gives those desires to you when those desires are lined up with his heart.
Yeah.
Because he gives nothing but good gifts.
He's not going to be he's not a genie.
Yeah.
He's not going to give you something that like, oh, my gosh, I like this.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you have this desire to do this.
And he's like, yeah, but if I gave that to you, it would destroy you.
Yeah.
And he's better than that.
He he longs for more than just surface with you.
Yeah.
And I think it also comes back to, you know, when you are doing that, that self reflection
of, OK, I don't want to fall back into this pattern.
You know, God help me.
But it's it's also that, you know, it's that vulnerability in front of God.
Yeah.
It's it's that vulnerability in front of your trusted close, close circle.
Yeah.
You know, it's it's the the willingness.
To go through the refiner's fire, man, to expose what really is at the root to to clean
out all the junk.
Yeah.
And then, you know, putting putting a precious metal into a refiner's fire to get rid of
the draws, to get rid of the gunk.
That is not I mean, it looks pretty from a distance, but it's not a pleasant process.
Right.
You know, if let's say, you know, well, here's my example.
I took a spill on a motorcycle.
Yes.
We've talked about it.
Yeah.
So there I had road rash.
Getting gravel out of road rash is not a pleasant experience.
It is horrible.
It is a horrible experience.
And it's but it's needed.
Yeah.
It's needed for that healing to come.
Come on, babe.
You know, so it's like so you know, sometimes it is it.
Sometimes it hurts more than the initial hurt to get to the healing.
Yeah.
Because it's going to look a lot messier before it looks organized and clean.
You know, I mean, how many times have we heard that when it comes to, you know, cleaning
a house or reorganizing a closet, it's going to look like a mess.
Yeah.
You know, oh, look, it looks like, you know, an H bomb just went off in my closet and,
you know, my closet my closet has now exploded all over my bed.
Yeah.
What do I even do with this?
Yeah.
So we're going from a crammed closet to a more organized and let's clean out some of
the stuff that we no longer need.
Yeah.
And and again, that's going to look messy.
You know, our daughter is going through a round of some medicine and they told her straight
up it's going to look it's excuse me, it's going to look worse before it looks better.
Yeah.
So be prepared.
Yeah.
You know, and she did her research online about it.
And sure enough, almost like 99 percent of everybody, they're like, yep, it's going to
it's going to get worse and it's going to look nasty.
Yeah.
But then it's then then it's going to look better and it's going to just it's going to
be great.
Yeah.
You know, but again, it's it's that be it's it's that willingness to go through that process.
Yeah.
It's that willingness to submit yourself to to whatever God is is going to put you through.
Yeah.
To get to that area of hope, to get to that area of healing.
Yeah.
You know, I mean, we it's not totally related, but you know, I mean, we we recently, you
know, watched something and read some stuff about what Heather went through.
Yeah.
After she was getting out of the military and after some of the stuff that she dealt
with.
Yeah.
And it's like it was a mess.
She literally was falling apart.
Yeah.
And then she got better.
I mean, it wasn't it wasn't it was not anywhere close to like an overnight process.
Not at all.
No, no.
You know, she'll be the first one to tell you.
Yeah.
You know, but again, it was it looked messy.
It was just it looked gross.
You know, it looked chaotic.
Yeah.
You know, but I mean, even just over the handful of years that we've known her, man, I mean,
she is completely different person.
Completely.
And this is what God does.
God can do as long as we're vulnerable, as long as we're patient, as long as we're willing
to submit ourselves to the process.
Yeah.
There's a real I think I don't remember which one.
I think I said, did you send it to you?
Do you see which one I'm doing?
Yeah.
And it says, OK, babe, we repent to be forgiven.
But do we surrender enough to be changed?
Yeah.
And I think that this is very much in the same vein.
It's like we can say sorry all day long, right?
We can say, man, I was bonehead.
I messed up.
This is this is bad.
I didn't I didn't handle this well, blah, blah, blah.
And all of the things and genuinely be sorry, like be repentive about it.
Right.
I messed up.
I didn't handle this well.
Why do I keep going in the circles that I keep going on with my wife or with my husband,
with my children, with my friends?
This branches out just more than just like a romantic relationship.
This is like life.
Right.
Yeah.
Like, why do I keep you know, why do we keep going around and round and round?
It's like I say sorry, but then it's like, but do you are you sorry enough to change
the behavior?
Yeah.
Are you sorry enough to change your thought pattern even?
You know, when when somebody comes into your scope, does it trigger you somehow some way
just based off of like maybe a past experience that you had or and it may not even necessarily
be with that person.
Does something inside that person trigger something that somebody else did?
You know what I mean?
And it's like we've got to be we've got to own even the hurts.
We've got to own the spaces where we've been damaged, whether it was by our own hand or
by the hand of somebody else.
And we in not to have a victim mentality, not to have a well, I'm I'm never going to
get married again because I've been married so many times and I've only been hurt.
And this always just ends up the same way.
And you want to go, OK, then you're the common denominator.
Like what's going on?
Like if if I promise that you can be successful, I promise that this will get better.
You've just got to step into a new way of thinking and and evaluate, evaluate what's
going on with you.
How does how does this respond?
You know, like how do you respond?
How does this make you feel?
All of the things and then follow it up with is this too big for God to fix?
God, I can't do this by myself.
You've seen I've tried to do it by myself.
OK, cool.
You've invited me in.
Now I'm going to help you because again, time and time again before you and I got married,
I would lay on my face in front of God and just be like, I am going to destroy this boy.
Like if if I don't get some of this stuff straight, like just even the way that I was
raised and the way that I've watched people in my own life speak to each other and I just
go, I if I repeat this pattern, this is not going to last long.
It's that it's that whole you're willing to say the words, but are you willing to walk
it out?
That's it.
You know, and again, that's where the patience comes in.
It's just like the gym.
This might this may be habits that you've had for decades.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But the beautiful thing is, is that God can start delivering you from these things.
He can deliver you instantly.
We say this a lot.
Yeah.
Or maybe maybe we don't say it a lot.
But I mean, I do.
We say it at least at least off my tweet.
We say a lot.
A lot.
OK, so here's here's my theory, guys.
God can absolutely deliver you in an instant.
Ask me how I know.
Right.
Like I like God has done this in my life.
He's done it in Luke's life.
We are.
Shoot.
We are walking testimonies of literally what you cannot tell us that there is not a God,
because if there was not a God, we would not be the people we are.
We just wouldn't be.
And and it's one of those where.
But we also have to know that habits sometimes take time to break because a lot of times
people will say, well, you said you were delivered.
You got prayer and you had all this stuff and all this goodness and you felt good.
But now you're falling back into the same trap.
Well, guess what, guys, it takes time for those habits to break.
I'm pretty certain on one of our early, early, early podcasts, we've even given you guys
timelines like we're talking 90 days to 200 and some odd days for some of these habits
to break a habit and then to reform a habit.
So you've got to be patient.
You've got to give yourself time.
And the people around you, you if if you're in the relationship or you're looking at the
friends in the family or the children and you're thinking, I'm doing all the things
and nothing's changing, you got to give them patience and time to you.
Yeah, because and because with bad habits and bad patterns, you know, again, the enemy
knows it.
Oh, yeah.
You know, and he is going to do his best to flash that in your face to, you know, all
of a sudden, it's like you find this opportunity of your old pattern.
It's like, I don't want to do that, but it's it's right here.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, yeah.
You know, it's and it's it is it's the enemy knows us so well.
You know, just like the enemy knows the word of God.
But he can't apply it to himself.
And he he is powerless when we actually turn ourselves to God.
Right.
You know, and it's it's it's it is it's one of those things that it's it's those patterns.
It's those familiarities.
It's those, you know, whatever you want to call them.
It's it's real.
It's out there.
It's real.
And we get to take the steps.
You know, again, we keep saying it back and forth.
You know, it's it's the say that you want to change it.
Yeah.
You don't want to follow these patterns anymore and then start walking it out and find somebody
to be a cannibal to you.
Hey, that goes back to our thing.
You know, and again, it's it's it's going to be messy.
You know, it's it's going to be a long, hard slog.
It's not going to be overnight.
But if it's not those things, if it if it is easy, if it doesn't get messy and if it
does happen overnight, hallelujah.
Praise God.
Sincerely.
Healing.
Instant healing.
Yes.
We know it can happen.
Absolutely.
How many stories in the Bible show instant healing?
How many people have prayed to God and gotten instant healing?
Yeah.
Even even in twenty twenty four.
I'm one of them.
Yes.
Not in twenty twenty four, but no.
Twenty twenty three.
You know, so again, we know it can happen.
You know it can happen.
Absolutely.
It's just when it doesn't happen instantaneously, do you have that tenacity to say, yes, I'm
still going to stay the course.
Yeah.
I'm still going to focus on what needs to be focused on.
I'm going to focus on bringing these changes into my life because I want to be better for
me.
I want to be better for my spouse, for my kids, for my future spouse, for my future
kids.
I want to be better towards my parents.
I want to be better towards my friends.
I want to be better for God.
Yeah.
That's it.
Yeah.
I mean, that's it.
And it's one of those where.
A lot of times I think we we believe that we are waiting on God.
Right.
Yeah.
And I think too many times it's more he's just he's waiting on you.
You make the first move.
Yeah.
Like even in his word, it says if you draw near to me, I'll come right.
I'll come close to you.
I'll come to you.
Right.
Let him know that you need him in this.
You cannot do this by yourselves, guys.
I mean, you can absolutely try.
It's so funny.
I was having an argument with myself on the treadmill today because I was like, God, there's
a lot of successful people out there that don't really believe in you.
And it's like, you know, it's like, well, you you can't do all these things, you know,
with without God and you can't be successful without God.
And I know quite a few people that have really successful relationships, even without God.
And he says, no, no, no.
Every one of those people that you just talked about has a God gene.
And that is what they're tapping into.
If it was not for me putting that inside of them, they still would not succeed.
And I was like, hmm, whether that's right or wrong or indifferent, I don't even know
if that's in the word of God.
But sometimes he just talks to me just because I do.
I will argue with him, not in an argument kind of like, but in a I just want to have
a greater understanding.
I just you say this, but I just, you know, but there's also the see the scripture.
See the scripture that just came to my mind is the right.
The rain, the rain rains on the just and the unjust.
God pours out his blessing on everybody to a point he really does because he's that's
how good of a God he is.
He just he desires nothing but good for people.
And it's like just asking, asking that I kind of went off on a tangent, sorry, but just
asking him, asking him to come alongside you, ask him to guide you, ask him to go into the
scriptures with you, you know, go into James, go into Proverbs.
These are I mean, our beautiful girl, she's on this really cool, new, exciting journey.
Like she loves the word of God, but like she's like eating it now.
And she's what are some things mom that are really acalipel applicable, applicable.
I did this last time.
Yeah, you did.
I'm consistent.
Yes, you are that are applicable to just walking on a day to day going to James.
He's going to tell you just the practicalities of life.
He's going to tell you strategic things you can do that can help help you be successful
and the things that you do.
Proverbs keeps you calm, keeps you sane.
Psalms, just worship, just trust him.
Even Titus and Timothy.
Truly.
You know, it's here's how to be a better child of God.
It's how to be a better church member.
Ephesians.
Yeah.
I mean, good Lord God, you guys already see it's like, but take just take the time to
ask him, ask him to direct your steps to start refining and restoring and washing your mind
with his word.
You know, what is a relationship even supposed to look like?
You know, how are you as a man supposed to treat a woman?
How are you as a woman supposed to be treating men?
How does what does that even look like?
Right.
Because again, society wants to distort it in such a way to where the enemy wants to
it's just gross.
The enemy wants to make it a free for all.
He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to create a commitment or covenant.
He knows the power in covenant.
He knows the power in I do.
He knows the power in when you say, I'm going to be better.
I'm going to do better.
I'm going to hope again and believe that this will be my one and only and my forever lasting.
You know, but ask him how to do it.
Yes.
Ask him how to do it.
And we just threw out some books of the Bible that would probably help you, but just asking,
trusting believe in him.
Let let just know that God has a hope in a future.
I hope to prosper you, not to harm you.
And to give you just to give you success in every area of your life.
Yes.
100%.
That was good.
This is a good one.
I like it.
Yeah.
Good job, babe.
Thanks babe.
All right, guys, we will see you next week.
Yes.
Have the best week.
Enjoy the journey.
jump