Hello and welcome back to Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi.
Hey babe.
How's it going?
It's good.
How are you?
I'm good.
We've been working on so many side projects, all of a sudden that sounds like really short
and quick.
I'm like, there needs to be more, right?
That should be longer, shouldn't it?
I mean.
Should there be more?
I don't know.
Peanut gallery?
Right.
No, it's good.
It's good.
I know that.
Hey.
Hi.
I started my project.
You did.
You started your awesome podcast.
Awesome new podcast.
The day after my surgery.
Yes.
Literally.
The day after your surgery.
The day after my second surgery.
Not even 36 hours later.
Nope.
Uh-uh.
So, my buds, my besties, Heather and Marsha, were like, are you sure?
Are you up to this?
And I was like, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Yes.
Heather's like, this has got to be God for you to be like, let's go.
Yeah.
And so, we've got two episodes up already.
Got our trailer and I guess the first episode.
Yeah.
The trailer.
And it's basically going to be, it's a podcast for women, by women.
And we're going to be talking about just some really, just in the real topics.
Yes.
Because that is what it's called.
It's called In the Real, R-E-A-L.
Yes.
And it's something I've been, what, sitting on for, I don't know, for a while now.
Oh, yeah.
A year or two.
That's not the point.
The point is that I've been busy.
I've been busy.
Yes.
Because again, I had surgery.
So, second surgery.
Second surgery.
They got the margin out.
I'm tired, guys, but I'm good.
And two weeks to recoup, re-heal all of the things.
In the meantime, in addition to, we, we, yeah.
Yeah.
I know.
Do you want me to say it?
We, we lost our, we lost our, we lost our, we lost our, we lost our, we lost our, we
lost, my god, Papa.
Yeah.
Papa Charlie.
Yeah.
And he had had an open heart surgery five weeks, no two weeks ago.
Yeah.
He had been in a hospital for five weeks.
And after the surgery, he just, he wasn't, according to mom I care, and he just wasn't
quite recovering the way that he could and needed to.
And so he, he and her had a conversation, basically, hey, if this doesn't go well, go
ahead and just let me go.
And, and so on September 22nd, which is also our beautiful Brown Eyed Girl's birthday,
he literally walked off this earth into the arms of Jesus.
He did?
Phew.
Yeah.
And one of the main reasons why you and I are you and I.
It's very true.
Is because of him and her.
Yes.
And.
Yes.
And they have, they celebrated 55 years this past year, this April, I believe.
And he is now literally cheering from the cheering section.
Yes, he is.
In that amazing space of heaven.
Yes.
With that great cloud of witnesses that we hear about in the Bible.
And so we honor him, we honor her.
We're going to be taking off for the funeral next week.
I'm not trying to be down.
I'm really not.
We're about to get back up again.
It's good.
See all of a sudden, and all of a sudden I was like, I was thinking about something because
you were saying, you know, we wouldn't be us.
We wouldn't be us.
Yeah.
You know, I, I'll say this because it didn't come to mind until just now.
Yeah.
Because I was still brand new Christian.
Yeah.
You know, I, yes, I was raised Catholic, went not Catholic, not Christian, then came back
to the church and then met you quickly afterwards.
When he, because I think we were engaged or about to be almost to almost close to our
wedding.
We said this, or I don't remember when he said it.
But he gave, he told the lesson of the, the triple braided cord.
You want to tell it?
Um, I mean, I don't, I don't have to.
Yeah.
Um, but you know, they, you know, the story is, you know, the, the triple braided cord
is, is harder to break, you know, so it's man, woman, Jesus or husband, wife, Jesus,
however you want to do it.
Yeah.
I had honestly never heard that before.
I didn't know that was like a common teaching thing.
Yeah.
But like, I thought that was his wisdom just passing on.
Here you go.
Have fun.
Yeah.
Do with us as you will.
I did.
I had never heard it until he said that.
And then he even had, um, remember, cause we have it framed.
Yeah, we do.
He had you sign a contract about being who it is that the man of God and a husband of
God and a father of God, um, being all of these things.
And um, he has been in, he was, he had been in my life since I was 15.
Um, and anybody and everybody that remembers 15 or has 15 year olds or has had children
that age knows that that is a pinnacle space.
Like, I mean, every year of a child's life is, but you guys understand what I'm saying.
It's like, um, did I do a lot of stupid tomfoolery stuff even after he came into my life?
Yes.
But it's something about having somebody love you in a space of the love of God, literally
Jesus with skin on.
Um, and then the only other time that I felt that kind of intense, unconditional love from
a man was when you came into my life, you know?
And it's like, I know, and maybe this is what I want kind of people to have a little bit
of a takeaway with this part of it is, um, I have no doubt in my mind that if he had
not already planted some of those things inside of me, as far as how to be taken care of,
how to be loved.
Cause I'd even said that to somebody today.
They asked how I was doing at church and I said, I'm learning how to be loved.
I'm learning how to be taken care of, you know?
Because too many times we're so quick to do it ourselves or I've got this or, or abuse
or things, you know, being, um, mishandled or, Ooh, you're taking too long or, Ooh, you're
taking too long.
What does that mean?
No, cause you're holding the, you know, learning to be taken care of and not the, I've got
it myself and not the, you know, all this other stuff, but you know, how many, kind
of how many times people say, well, you're taking too long, so I'll just do it.
Right.
And so I believe with everything in me that he taught me how to, um, his favorite story
used to be that he loved to see how the innocence got restored back inside of me.
And then I learned how to blush again because when he met me, I didn't.
And um, and so because of him laying that foundation, it was easy for you to be able
to come in and to love me in that place and for me to let you love me in that place.
And so, um, love you, Charlie.
It was a mountain of a man wise beyond his ears.
Man.
And we take on that mantle of who he was.
Yes.
Yes, we do.
Yeah.
So um, what did you want to talk about today?
So that's our update.
That's our update with how life's been going in our household.
How are y'all?
Are you okay?
Times like this, I almost wish we had like a regular schedule of when we recorded.
So we could have actually have people talking too.
Yeah.
Cause it's like, cause I've seen, I've seen.
What do you say to call Heather and Chico?
Cause I've seen other, well I've seen other shows do it.
Like I've heard of like shows, like podcasts that go on like Twitch or Discord.
And so it's like, they can literally like have conversations with their audience.
And I'm like, that would definitely be interesting.
That would be something.
That would, that's a whole other level.
But I am going to rejoice in the fact that we don't have video today.
Cause listen guys, like I was looking super cute at church this morning.
Yes, you are.
And thank you baby.
And then I just been like this all day, but it's been beautiful because I think the thing,
just like this, this journey with cancer and the eradication of it and getting rid of it
and all of the things that go with it, right?
And the prayer and the standing firm.
And even in the midst of standing firm for Charlie and believing that God was going to
come down and do something mighty because that wasn't the way that we were anticipating.
One of the things that I have been having to learn is, I know we've said this before,
but I'm going to say it again, because this is kind of this spurred a quote that you're
going to read here in a second.
And right before the second surgery, you were home.
I was here.
I had the music in my ears and I think I was vacuuming even something.
Cause I work from home most days and I was in my basement office and upstairs I hear
the vacuum going and upstairs I hear loud yell worship singing going on.
And I was like, okay, she's working some stuff out.
This is not the first time she's done this.
Sometimes she does it when she works out.
Which our little Jim is right behind your office.
Yeah, which our little Jim.
So every now and then I'll hear slam ball and yelling and screaming and very loud worship
music going on.
And anybody that's around me at church that I'm worshiping with that you guys already
know.
I mean, y'all are, listen, I'm consistent.
I will holler.
I have to.
I like it.
But, um, so I'm in the middle of doing all of this and I literally could hear the Holy
Spirit go sit down.
Yeah.
And I was like, Oh, sit down.
And I'm like, like pulling out my ears.
Cause honestly I, it was so loud.
Yeah.
I thought you were talking to me at first and I pulled out my ears and I'm looking around
turning off the vacuum and it's like, sit down.
Yeah.
Do you trust me or don't you?
Why are you trying to manipulate me right now?
Yeah.
And I was like, Oh shoot.
Shoot.
And so when I told you my story, the quote that came out of you was,
Yeah.
So, so again, we have these conversations and I now have a pile of Post-It notes because
we'll like just, Hey, that's really good thing.
We should remember that.
Yeah.
And she's telling me this story and what came to my mind and what came out of my mouth was
how many people are trying to conjure God to intercede when that is manipulation, stress
on the man, manipulation.
Yeah.
So prayer, worship, honor, praise and supplication is relationship with God.
Man.
And then it's like, we're continuing to talk and then it's like, I had like a follow-up
thought with that original thought and it was relationship is not hunting for the right
answer.
Right.
It's kind of like as a parent, as a child, as a spouse, in any kind of relationship,
because how many times do we do that of, if I say this in this way, I can get the answer
I want or as a kid, how many of us, well, if I want this kind of an answer, I'll go
talk to this parent or I'll wait until this happens and so that way I know I can get this
kind of answer that I want.
Or if I continue to bug them and continue to bug them and continue to bug them, if I
wear them down.
And that's not relationship.
No.
That straight up is, it's manipulation.
It is.
And it's funny because we were having this conversation a couple of days ago yesterday
and we're with another really good friend of ours one day.
Hi, thank you.
She'll be on In the Real.
Yes, she will.
Make sure to subscribe to that new show so you can catch her on that.
Thanks, babe.
You're welcome.
But we were, we were kind of talking about this and even before I brought up this quote,
she's sitting there saying, how many people think this is a Disney movie, think that her
relationship with God is a Disney movie?
Yeah.
And if we're all good little witches.
See, she said that.
She did.
I know, right?
Shots fired.
Yeah.
But again, you know, if we do the right things, if we click our heels just right, you know,
it's like, well, this is what's going to happen because I've been good and I said the right
words.
Right.
God's going to put it in my lap because I said so.
And you and I have, we've said, like, so we have Deuteronomy.
We go back to that a lot.
Deuteronomy.
Okay, listen, guys, if there are certain things in the word of God that says don't do it,
don't do it.
Just don't do it.
If there's certain things in the word of God that says do it, do it.
Hello, do it.
It's just that simple.
That's not manipulation.
That is relationship.
Hey, I know that this pleases the heart of my father.
You know, kind of like we go back to Charlie.
There's certain things like there's certain peanut butters he will not eat.
There are and he's the one that taught our daughter how to eat peanut butter on cheeseburger.
Guys, listen, if you haven't done it, I have tried it.
I didn't like it.
I've tried it.
It's a taste.
Some people really like it.
Try it.
Ask our brown eyed girl.
She will light up for you.
It's really good.
And it's got to be creamy.
And it's got to be jiffy.
That's literally what Charlie says.
I mean, and so, and it was beautiful because even this morning, just side note, where like,
you know, I was having a moment and you were so sweet and you said I could almost tell
you exactly what Charlie would say.
And it made me cry.
And you're like, I'm sorry, babe.
And I was like, no, I'm crying because you're right.
And, and it's like, it's those kind of responses.
It's that stuff where when we have such a relationship with God, our responses start
mimicking, we start looking like the characteristics of our father.
Right.
And so, and then when you also know who he is, and he knows you, then it's like, you
already kind of know the heart of who he is and how he probably would respond in that
moment.
Yeah.
I mean, all of a sudden it is, this is how my brain works because you're saying that.
And it is, it's just, you know, spouses get to this point where, or if you've been in
a relationship with anybody for a long amount of time or enough time, you know, kids, parents,
you know, it is, it's, when a situation comes up in my mind, before
I even bring it to you, nine times out of 10, I know roughly approximately how you're
going to respond.
That's cool.
Because we know each other, you know, and when you know God that intimately, you know
how he's going to respond.
You know, he's not going to like what you're doing over there in the corner behind, behind,
you know, where the, where the light is not shining.
Come on.
You know, he knows he's, you know, he's not going to like, he doesn't like that.
Right.
And you're like, well, if I'm in the dark, you won't see it.
He'll be okay with it.
If I do it and then go to church tomorrow, he'll be okay with it because I went to church
tomorrow.
Yeah.
And, or it, it reminds me of some of the stories we've had with our kids where it's like, they'll
do something.
And afterwards we're talking to them and they're like, I knew what you were going to say.
I know, I know what you're going to say.
It's like, okay, I appreciate that you know what I'm going to say.
I just wish you would have listened and done it beforehand.
So true.
Cause how many, how many, it is, how many times does God say that?
Yes.
You know, he's looking at Jesus on his right, looking at Michael.
I told them, I told them, they read it.
They read it.
It was, it was in red.
It was highlighted in red in their book.
And they read it and they were excited.
And the next day they went and did the opposite.
And then they came to me the next day and said, God, I'm sorry, that was wrong.
Yeah, I know.
I told you.
Man, man.
But it is, it's, it's a thing of, what I got out of it was, I mean, again, like I said,
between, between this journey that I've been on as far as my health, this journey that
we've been standing in the gap for Charlie for over a month now.
And just standing there and, and saying, God, whew, God, it was supposed to go different.
Like, God, I'm a child of God.
Father, I'm your kid.
Like, like I shouldn't be dealing with this.
I shouldn't be dealing with the tumor.
I shouldn't be dealing with this health situation.
I shouldn't be dealing with now, you know, here he's gone.
Yeah.
That's not how it was supposed to go.
You know what I mean?
But here's God, like, but do you, but I'm God.
Yeah.
But I'm God.
You have, I do, I do.
I know it's you, you talk and you say these things and it hits my brain and it's like
you, you see it here in the pictures.
Yeah.
And it's like, I apparently in words and also movies because all of a sudden you're, we're
talking about this.
And again, you know, how many people try to conjure God, you know, the, you know, but
God, your word says, you know, if something's not going the way you're saying, you must
not have enough faith.
You must not believe in Jesus.
You know, but it's, but it's one of those things like, okay, you have cancer.
You, you, you've been diagnosed with cancer, you know, well, God, I, I believe in healing.
I'm standing on your word.
I'm calling forth healing.
Yeah.
If I worship just a little bit louder, will it come quicker?
If I pray five more minutes a day, will you heal me faster?
If I, I mean, how many people are bargaining?
Yeah.
And, and again, trying to, to manipulate God.
If because, and I think, I think people do it and they don't realize they're doing it.
Yeah.
You know, because God says, seek first the kingdom.
Right.
And all these things will be added to you.
Right.
You know, somewhere in Psalms, I was given the verse a long time ago and I got a, I got
to remember it because it was really awesome, but it was, you know, but it was, it was similar
to the seek first.
It was like, you know, all throughout, throw, basically put all your desire towards me and,
and I'll give you all the things of all, you know, worship me and I'll give you all the
desires of your heart or something, some really cool Psalm.
For some reason, I want to say somewhere around Psalm 34 seven, I think.
Shout out to Jim Weidman for being an awesome voice of wisdom.
I love Jim.
You know, but again, I think, I think people hear these verses and, and, and read these
verses and stand firm on them.
Yeah.
Knowing that if I fully surrender to God, if I die daily to my flesh and I, I 100% give
myself over to God, that I'll, you know, I'm, I'm in the family.
I'm, I'm part of, I'm in the kingdom.
I'm in the family.
I've been invited to the table, but if I do a little more, maybe that healing will come
a little faster.
Right.
If I, if I, if I push a little harder, I can, I can push for that blessing to get to me
just a little sooner.
Right.
And so it's like, I know there are people that, that from the outset are, are trying
to manipulate and, and figuring out how they can make God work on their behalf.
Yeah.
But I think, I think it's a trap by the enemy or, or just by our ignorance.
No, that's good.
But they stand firm on these words and they think, I think it's almost like sometimes
it's, it's almost a self doubt.
It wears you out.
Well, not, not even wear you out, but the, the self doubt of, am I not putting God's
kingdom first?
Am I not seeking his kingdom first?
Is there something else?
So I need to, I need to push forward to, to make sure that I know that I'm seeking his
kingdom first.
Right.
And I need to push forward to, to more effort to make sure that I'm dying daily to my flesh.
Yeah.
And, and I think, I think that's the trap that a lot of people fall into, not consciously,
but it's a trap nonetheless of their, their striving and their, their, their, their, their
pushing so hard to try to do the right thing that they fall into that trap of trying to
manipulate God.
Yeah.
I think, I think, because one of the things, I got a lot of thoughts, obviously, but I
think number one, we're not saying you don't pray.
No.
We're not saying you don't fast.
We're not saying you don't go on war and intercede and beat the ground and beat yourself if you
have to kind of situation, right?
You beat your body into submission.
You do the things you do the things.
I think ultimately what we're saying is allow the Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit, that's Holy
Spirit relationship with the father, because that's something and I am, I'm going to, I'm
going to go back to Charlie a lot today.
Because again, maybe this is just as one kind of one of our ways we can honor him right
now.
He would always, he was so sweet because he'd always say, what does father say?
What does father say?
Right?
And it's like, what does father say?
What is he telling you to do?
You know, because it's like, what is, what is he saying in the midst of this?
Because two nights ago, was it three, two nights ago now three, I woke up in the middle
of the night and I heard that he was, he's not going to make it is all I heard.
And I started warring and pushing against and interceding and I'm surprised I didn't
wake you up because I'm speaking in tongues and I'm rebuking everything at the same time.
There's this piece that rests over me.
And then when mama Karen and I talk on the phone and she tells me, yeah, father told
me a couple of nights ago, but he wasn't going to make it.
And I was like, father, you were so kind to me to tell me.
And a lot of times what happens, and this is something that I don't know if I've said
this yet, but a lot of times I think what happens is because we don't like the answers
when we start trying to manipulate God.
If we don't like the way that we see him doing it, we don't like what we think the outcome
should be.
Are there times in the word of God where people actually bartered with God?
Yeah, actually there are.
I also know in these particular instances, these people actually had relationship with
God.
Do you recognize that?
These were considered friends of God.
And I'm like, okay, father, I want to know you in that kind of way.
And that's what I've been telling you now for however long now that we've been walking
this and I'm looking at you going, I don't know God like I want to.
I don't even think I know the depths of who he is.
And I want to feel all of the feels and I want to hear all of the things and see all
of this.
I want him to trust me.
I said this to my mom this morning and she, you know my mom, she's just like, I said,
mom, I don't want to be just a child of God.
I want to be a friend of God.
And she goes, woo.
You hear my mom, woo.
And she's like, yes.
And she says, because what happens is, and she continued it, my mom would be another
one, that would be really good on here.
She continued it was when you go from being a child of God to being a friend of God, that
means that you've gone from being a milk to a meat.
The maturity and the level of who you are has grown.
That means he can trust you.
And so it's like, I think if you feel like your prayers may not be getting answered,
maybe sit down.
Kind of like what I heard the Holy Spirit tell me, sit down.
Sit down.
Stop beating the air.
I mean, I think that's, was it Paul or somebody that's like, stop beating the air like a boxer,
you know, just going aimlessly.
If he hasn't given you a direction to fight, if he hasn't given you a direction to pray,
there's always things to fight and pray and stand in.
But there's also times of rest.
There's also times of where he wants to build you or teach you.
Maybe he's done with you talking and he's ready to speak.
Or maybe he wants you to sit in the silence so that way the peace be still can come.
Because too many times if we're not talking, we're expecting him to talk.
And there's sometimes he's like, I just want to sit and I want you to just be quiet.
And I want you to trust me.
And I want you to know the gravity of who I am and that I'm God.
And that my ways are higher than your ways.
That my thoughts are so surpass who you are.
That even in the midst of the battles, there's people, there's lives that get to be won,
that get to be touched.
There's doctors that get to be encountered.
There's nurses that get to be loved on.
There's people that we get to see.
But we've got to let ourselves because the enemy is going to create so much noise.
Just think of social media alone.
Think of the things, just the chaos and the crazy alone of the things around us.
The enemy wants to wear us out.
Even without social media, just the noise inside of our own heads.
Without social media, without technology.
We all have those voices in our head of just... Again, it's kind of like when Satan confronted
Eve in the garden.
Did God really say?
How many times in our brains do we hear, did God really say?
Is that really what you're supposed to do?
Again, I would love to sit and blame social media for this, but it's so much bigger.
It's so much bigger and yet also so much more basic than social media.
He's been creating chaos and noise since day one.
He really has.
But it is.
It's that be still.
For those of you that are married, have these conversations with your spouse of, I'm going
through a journey right now where I am not the best at opening up what's inside of my
brain.
You looked at me this morning.
You could see the look on my face and the question out of your mouth was, where are
you?
I'm right here, babe.
What do you mean?
Physically, you're here.
But it is.
We get to share what's going on in our heads and we get to share what's going on in our
hearts.
For those of you that don't have a spouse, where's your circle of friends?
For those of you with spouses, share with your spouse and also where is your circle
of friends?
Where is your circle of friends?
Because yes, you can share this with your spouse, but you also need to share this with
people that will stand and battle with you.
Battle buddies, absolutely.
I know we will call them out because one of them has been on the show and when people
go and flood in the real, they're going to learn these people.
But as much as you and I can talk and we can battle and pray and laugh and war together
and love together, it's a different dynamic when you're with Heather and Marcia.
It's true.
It's just different.
It's like you and I can be awesome and do all the great things and hash out all the
stuff, but when I talk with my guy friends, it's a completely different world.
If anybody wants to know what some of those conversations sound like, go to The Equipped
Man.
Go to The Equipped Man.
This is like Shameless Plug episode.
But it's not.
I know.
I say that.
It's not.
Let me just follow that up real quick because listen to me, guys.
The reason why we're doing this is not to hear us talk.
No.
Dear Lord Almighty.
I don't even listen to myself.
I do because I love hearing you talk.
It's just that simple.
And you have some really amazing nuggets.
And so my big thing is this.
The reason why we're doing these things is because some of y'all don't have the circle
of friends.
Some of you guys and gals need to have, I don't know, I'll call us the guinea pigs or
I'll call us the...
Part of me goes, I don't want to say we're the example, but we have been tagged the example.
It's the thing that we've asked for from Charlie and Karen.
This is what we want.
This is who they are.
This is who they've always been.
It's like, let me show you how to do this.
And I think it's also not just the example, the guinea pig.
Some people don't have the circle of friends and are looking for the circle of friends.
But I think it's also peeling back the curtain.
You're not the only one that's thinking this.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
You're not the only one that's dealing with this.
Yes.
How many things have we talked about that it's like...
A lot of couples deal with this.
Yes.
A lot of women deal with this.
A lot of guys deal with this.
Yes.
Talk about it.
Yes.
It's one of those things that we've heard about it in every circle, just about every
circle, just about every circumstance.
I remember one time we were sitting with a whole group of guys and we were talking about
something and all of a sudden almost everybody around the circle, I thought I was the lone
in this.
I thought I was the only guy dealing with this.
I thought ours was the only marriage that was going through stuff like this.
And it's like, if we talk and if we call it out.
If we pull back the curtain and we put light on it.
Yes.
Grab your little flashlight.
Let's go searching in the corners.
Yes.
But you'll find out there's a whole lot more people that are A, dealing with the same stuff
and B, in your cheering section.
Yes.
A whole lot more people want to see you succeed than see you fail.
Yeah.
A whole lot of people here, there, living, dead, want to see you succeed, want to see
you cross that finish line.
Yes.
At your timing.
Yes.
At your speed.
Yeah.
In your race.
Yes.
Absolutely.
No, absolutely.
Yeah.
And it's one of those where, gosh babe, that was good.
Thanks.
So talk to God like that, yeah?
Yeah.
This is, this is, it's like, I want to tell people like, it's this easy, but I don't ever
want to make it sound so, it's this easy that you feel like, well, it's not that easy.
It's just kind of hard.
And it's like, no, the enemy's got you.
Yeah.
He's got everybody deceived.
He's got a lot of people deceived thinking that, again, they're doing this by themselves.
You know, if I, if I do X, Y, Z, then like you said, I, I'm a good little Christian and
I do all of the things.
And it's like, no man, like, do you have a relationship?
Yeah.
Do you have a relationship?
Because manipulation going through the motions, going through the motions, that's religion.
Yeah.
That's death.
Yeah.
There's no life in that.
Even, I mean, even just sit back for a second, just take a second and go, am I happy?
Yeah.
Do I even have any joy?
When I think of Jesus, is it oppressive or do I feel lighter?
And then start there.
Yeah.
Like start there.
Because when you get into the presence of literally the creator of the universe, the
one that literally looked at this earth and said, I need a Luke and I need a Dina and
I need to Heather and I need a Chico and I need a Marsha and I need a Ephraim and I need
a, I'm trying to think of all the other people that I, that like, you know what I mean?
I have a Stewart and a Patty.
Come on.
Right?
Like all of these amazing people that you stand back and you're like a Karen and a
Charlie.
Yeah.
You know, because when that man spoke, like he loves his Karen man.
Like they would embarrass the crap out of me when I was younger.
He would nuzzle down into her neck.
Be like, if Dina wasn't here right now, I'm like, la la la la la la la.
But see what I'm saying?
Like they would bring such joy into the space, but as much as that man loves his Karen man,
he loves his Jesus.
Yeah.
You know?
You are not lighting up in that kind of capacity and that kind of space.
The lover of your soul, the one that literally sent his son to die for you and then left
his Holy Spirit to come and comfort and support and give you peace and give you strength.
Shoot.
You know, then, then check.
What do they always say?
Like check your wood cause it might be wet, you know, kind of, have you ever seen, heard
that?
I've never heard that before.
If that doesn't light you up, then your woods wet.
You've never heard that?
I've never heard that.
That's a very, that's a very old school church.
Wow.
Yeah.
It took you way back, but took you way back.
Didn't take me anywhere.
But, but find out there if you feel like when you're praying or when you're doing all of
the things, the fasting, like I said, there's some things and I believe that when it's Spirit
led it, like you're going to have pushback, but there, there's something that it leads
you into battle as opposed to shoves you or pushes you into battle because, you know,
God will lead you into this space where the enemy will push and manipulate and try to,
because he wants to wear you out.
Yeah.
So ask him how he wants you to fight these battles.
Because I've got friends right now that are rallying around me like today, you saw it.
I mean, you saw all of a sudden there's like, here's just everybody.
Yeah.
And you were so gracious and kind and sweet to let everybody know what was even happening
with Charlie.
Yeah.
And one of them comes up to me and they said, I have got your back.
You don't have to carry this by yourself.
Because coming out of the stupid infirmity, still healing, still catching my breath and
then literally feeling like I got brought back down to my knees.
You got to have people that will let you sit for a second and fight in the trenches with
you.
And cover you in the midst of the war.
Yeah.
Let the Holy Spirit come and just guide you right now.
Because ultimately he's the only one that, like, I'm okay.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Like you're okay.
Yes.
We're better than okay.
We are.
We really are.
Yeah.
Are we going through stuff?
Oh yeah.
We're not going through it.
We're not camping in it.
And we're not trying to manipulate God to have a certain space.
It's while you're going through it, guys, let him lead you down the path of where he
wants you to go.
And my favorite phrase apparently over the past couple of few months has been raising
our hands.
Because we have been raising our hands.
We have been raising our hands.
To let our friends know.
Yeah.
I'm not okay.
To let each other know, hey, something's going on.
I need help.
Yeah.
I remember the morning that I went to coffee with Marsha and Heather.
Yeah.
I remember even what I was wearing, which is crazy, but it's not important.
And they're talking because Marsha is looking super cute is what happened.
Listen, guys, if you all know Marsha, Marsha looks cute.
She's a Barbie doll.
She's adorable.
And Heather looks like she's ready to go to war at any given time because girlfriend is.
She just is.
And that's amazing.
And then I look like I came out of gym class on a constant.
It's fine.
But I remember looking at them across the table with tears in my eyes and saying, I
am not okay.
Yeah.
I do not know what's going on with me, but I am not okay.
And then that's when we started this journey.
And so have people that love you, that surround you, that hold you up, that come alongside
you, that don't fight for faith, but they fight from faith.
And then when God tells everybody just to be still and to remind us that he's already
got it, that they're not wearing themselves out, there's a difference.
You're going to know it.
There's a difference.
You're going to feel a connection.
It's no longer, I hope we're explaining it well.
I hope I'm explaining it well.
Because it is.
It's like you'll even feel a shift in your prayers, that your conversation.
I love the Lord's prayer.
It's like, how should we pray?
Jesus, our Father, who's in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
You go with a place of honor.
You don't go just willy nilly.
Yes, it's a relationship with a Father, but there's a respect for your Father.
So you go in honorably.
Hallowed be your name.
Blessed are you, God.
Your kingdom come.
Father, I'm asking for your will, not my will.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
I'm not asking for an earthly conclusion.
I'm asking for a heavenly conclusion.
And then just then start going into, give us what we need, Father.
Daily bread.
Help us forgive those that, you know, you guys know the prayer.
I'm kind of going through it, but this is what he's saying.
And then get into that right heart position to hear him on what he tells you to do.
If he tells you to fast, you better fast.
But if he tells you to sit down, then sit down.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And to go back to earlier, I did find that that part of Psalms is Psalm 37, 4.
I got the numbers mixed up.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the requests of your heart or the desires
of your heart.
What is the follow up on that?
So before and after.
So my version is verse three, trust in the Lord and do good.
Dwell in the land, feed on faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the requests of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord.
Trust in him and he will do it.
He will bring out your vindication as light and your cause will shine as noonday.
I always like the front and the back of that too.
Because it's not just, oh God, you're going to bless me with what my heart desires.
No, you get to go delight in him.
Do good, do his will.
Trust.
Dwell.
Commit.
All of those amazing words.
Relationship words.
Then he'll do it.
He'll do it.
It's going to be a good week.
It is a good week.
You guys have the best week.
Enjoy the journey.