Hello and welcome to another episode of Upfront and Undivided with Luke and Dean'na.
Hi.
Hey babe.
How's it going?
It's good.
How are you?
Not too bad.
We are back.
We're back.
We're back from vacation.
Yes.
From, um, just, did we, did we rest?
No.
I don't think so.
No.
I'll answer that real quick.
No.
You even took a couple of days off after.
To not rest.
Wait, did we?
What?
It's good to be home.
Yes.
It's good to be home.
It's good to be in our beds.
It's good to be home.
And then our beautiful girl decided she was going to go run and do a little bit of extra
stuff before her summer ended.
So it's, I think that's what causes us to maybe quite not rest.
Just because all of us are not completely home yet.
But she's having a good time.
She's absorbing some sun and we got to spend some time with family and do family reunion.
So I got to see a lot of my uncles and aunts and cousins and siblings and families and
in-laws and outlaws and all of them.
Yes.
And it was good.
Yes.
It was good.
I always appreciate that time with everybody.
So what are we talking about today, babe?
So today, uh, I mean, right now I'm planning on it being quick.
Cause I mean, I know it's summer.
I know it's been crazy.
I know for the people that are waiting for live episodes to come out, we haven't been
as consistent as we'd like to be with getting episodes out every week.
But in a way that's what we're talking about today.
Today is be consistent.
Yeah.
So in it, in so many different ways of your life, um, you know, yes, we're mostly going
to talk about being consistent in your marriage and communication and your marriage and all
that, but also parenting styles and, um, you know, how do you go about, uh, life as, as
a married couple and as parents and all.
So, um, I mean, I know we could being consistent in the kingdom of God could, could be an hours
long discussion.
Um, but we're going to do our best to kind of narrow the scope a bit to not to get too
crazy all over the map.
Yeah.
So, so yeah, be consistent.
You know, again, one of our favorite things is let your yes be yes.
You're let your no be no.
Um, if you know, you can't do something or, or aren't going to follow through with something,
go ahead and say no right away.
Yes.
Or even I am not going to be completely yes.
Yeah.
Um, you know, cause I know, I know in the past it's, it's to a degree it's getting
better.
Um, but I know there was a season, um, for at least a good handful of years where it
seemed like a whole lot of people were, were kind of on this fence of I'm going to say
yes, but as soon as something else better comes along, I'm going to, I'm going to take
a step out and I'm going to, I'm going to go to that thing.
And it's like, um, why aren't you following through?
So, um, but that season seems to be getting less and less from what I've experienced and
seen.
So, um, so I'm excited about that.
That is good.
But, um, but yeah, I think that shows a lot of maturity.
I think that shows a lot of, um, dying to self.
And I think kind of an understanding and that's where the maturity comes in and understanding
that when you say you're going to do something, follow through with it because, um, people
are depending on you.
It's just that simple.
And when you are not, even your timing, like if you're late to, um, something that you
promise that you're going to be there at a certain time, well, I showed up.
Yeah.
But you were like an hour and a half late than what you said and people are expecting
you to be there.
And so it's that, that is disrespectful.
Or even sometimes even just five to 10 minutes late.
Oh, absolutely.
You know, cause I mean, what if, what if somebody is waiting on you so that they can start something
and they have a bunch planned or it's like, we need to leave at this time so that we can
make it to the next part of the journey by this time.
And it's like, well, it's only five minutes late.
Yeah.
But we totally missed our window.
Right.
Agreed.
And that's big.
That's big.
And that's why we are talking about this today is we were going to bring, um, kind of something
that had happened while we were on our trip.
And that's kind of what, um, at least spurred the thought with me.
And, um, one of the things that we did while we were in Texas is we got to go and see,
um, Gabriel's biological dad.
And one of the things that, um, some of you guys know, maybe not know, um, he is in a,
in a situation that, um, he's basically waiting out some time.
And, um, I think one of the things that I, we, as, um, a married couple had to stand
back and say, regardless of who he is, regardless of what he could say or potentially not say
to our beautiful girl, have we been consistent enough in our lives?
You know, and I know that, um, we've got some listeners that, you know, you might be married
to an unbeliever or you might have, you know, stepchildren, foster children, you know, um,
adopted kids.
Um, and then you're interacting with people from the outside, even, even if you're, your
family isn't blended like ours is, and you have, you're constantly contending with the
world.
Um, I think one of the things that I, I personally have said, I want people to walk away and
say, um, they're consistent, they're consistent because no matter what, um, you know, there's
no, nobody in this world can tell you that Gabri is not your girl.
That's your girl.
That's your daughter.
Um, you have been consistent in her life since she's seven and, um, we just happen to be
now with potentially the biological father to maybe, maybe not be in her life.
But the thing is, is the consistency of the kingdom of God that is in you, that you have
downloaded inside of her, that I have downloaded inside of her.
What is the scripture?
It says when you train up a child in the way they must go, when they get older, they're
not going to depart from it.
But I believe that one of the key factors to our children, not straying off or even
like a spouse, if they've known God once upon a time and now they're, they're like deciding
if they don't want to do God or not because their church hurt or people or whatever, right?
But you know what, what they wanted may not have gone quite the way that they expected.
And so their expectation on God even just changed that.
Um, I think the thing is, is when we are consistent in who we are, when we're consistent in our
walks with God, when we're consistent in the principles of living out, like do the plan,
right?
Like there's certain things that in the word of God, it says, do these things.
We've talked about it.
Do these things, you get blessed.
Don't do these things.
You don't get blessed.
You know, do these things.
You walk in safety, you walk in peace.
Even if all hell breaks loose, there's still a piece that passes the understanding of even
what's going on in the situation.
And it's, it's, I believe like when we had this moment of, because here's the reality
guys as peeling back the curtain, this was hard.
Like this was hard.
Yeah.
And I haven't seen him, you know, Gabriel and I hadn't seen him in over 13 years.
And when you're literally, I wrote down, um, the best thing you can do is be consistent
in who God is making us to be today.
Because when you're literally staring at your past across the table from you, you don't
fight or fret, but you rest in God knowing that he's already gone before you.
Right?
Like, and one of the other things that we've said is being consistent in honesty, being
consistent in our past, being consistent in, in just telling the truth, you know, well,
listen, this is, this is how this went down and this is why this went down.
And let me tell you my side of the story.
Let me tell you my junk.
Let me tell you what I did.
And when we're honest about it, and then when they see literally the hand of God coming
into your life and completely transforming you into somebody completely different, and
then they see you consistently walking in that, or when we do fail or when we aren't
consistent and we're quick to say, I'm sorry, we're quick to say, I was wrong there.
Hey, I need to still grow here.
I think what that does is it opens up a door for your spouse, for your children, for your
friends, for the people in your life to stand up back and say, well, if they can do it,
then that means I can do it too.
If, if, if I, we start becoming the example we started, we start showing them the, the
goodness of God, you know, being, being kind, you know, we sat, we talked for a second,
then I walked away and I let them talk.
But it was like, be respectful, be kind, be the fruits of the spirit, be patient, be loving,
you know, don't speak out of turn.
Don't, don't push your own way, your own agenda, your thoughts, you know, and, and just rest
in knowing that, man, father, I've messed up, but I know who I am today versus who I
was yesterday.
And that you are so gracious and good to go before me and to make a way where there may
not seem to be a way.
And so one of the things that I think was beautiful that we saw almost instantly was
when this, this meeting did happen and everybody parted ways and walked away, there was, there
was just, I think a greater appreciation of just even who you are as dad to her life.
That when, when the, when our kids, when our spouse, when our friends, when they go and
they see the things of the world, when they go and they see the things that may not even
line up with the things of God, I believe with everything in me because of the seeds
that have been planted inside of their lives, because we've consistently spoken the word
of God that we've consistently watered and planted and, and just tried to walk these
out ourselves that no matter what, even if they do walk away for a season, that they
will come back, they will come back and they will love God.
They will love the family that you'll see restoration, you'll see healing, you know,
that, that these are things that like the promises of God, just seeing the promises
of God, these are things that he says.
And it's like, our God is consistent.
Even when we sin, even if we fall away, even if we say, God, I don't want anything to do
with you anymore.
That doesn't change who he is.
And so what that does is that creates something inside of us that says, I, I've got to be
this.
I've got to be this.
My spouse might be screaming at me at the top of their lungs and telling me they want
to go or whatever and so on and so forth.
Right.
But the thing is, is you stay consistent.
That child might be screaming and slamming the door and saying, you're not my parent
and I don't love you and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You know, but the thing is, is you stay consistent.
You can, you, you become the unmovable, unshakable, unconditional.
You become, you, you take on the attributes of God, even when it hurts because dammit,
it hurts.
It hurts when they, when they do these things.
But that's where we have to lean on the Holy spirit.
We can't lean on our own strength.
We've got to lean on the promises of God.
We've got to stand firm and knowing that he is well able to complete everything that he
has started and that he's not going to leave us in the midst of it by ourselves, but that
he'll walk with us.
Because it's just not even saying a word, but just being still and knowing that he's
God and knowing that he will fight for us and he will bring forth restoration to everybody
that's involved.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And again, it's, it is, it's, it's that consistency.
It's, you know, are you, you know, are you the same person at home that you are at church,
that you are at work, that you are at the store, that you are in rush hour traffic,
you know, when you've been driving for six, seven hours all day.
Right.
It is, it's, it's, it's that consistency, you know.
And you know, our kids are going to pick up on it a lot, a lot easier than, than anybody
else.
You know, spouses and kids, you know, the ones that spend the most time with us, it's,
they're the ones that are going to pick up on if there's a, if there's a difference in
your personality, if there's a difference in your character.
Yeah.
And, and that's what this comes down to, you know, what, where, where is your character
here?
You know, who are you, you know, who are you when the lights go out type thing?
You know, when I was, when I was in the Air Force, you know, one of, one of our core values
was integrity first.
And it was always taught as, you know, is basically, do you do the right thing even
when nobody's looking?
That's it.
You know.
It's, it's, it's the same when, it's the same when you're a spouse, it's the same when
you're a parent, you know, it's, are you following through with who you say you are, with what
you say you're going to do?
You know, if you make a promise to your kid or to your spouse, are you going to follow
through with it?
Yeah.
You know, are you that kind of a stand up person or are you just a sit down kind of
person?
I mean, if you are, just be upfront and honest about it of, of this is who I am.
You know, and, and if you struggle with consistency, you know, I mean, that's, that's something
to pray about.
That's, that's something to take to God of, you know, God, I want to be better in this
and not just, you know, don't just pray about it.
Don't just, you know, take it to the throne and be like, you know, God, I want to be,
I want to be more consistent, you know, help me.
But you got to take the steps of yourself, you know, work, work on those small things,
you know, don't, don't overcommit yourself or, or, you know, for a season, don't commit
yourself until you can work on that and work out your priorities.
And what is it, what really matters to your life?
So yeah, that's, that's, that's my, that's my ad.
No, I like it.
I like it.
I think it's just, it's, what is it?
Be consistent in and out of season.
Yeah.
You know, just, you don't have to, when you're consistent in action, there's, you have to
use a lot less words.
You don't have to, you don't have to speak as much.
Like what is it?
Your actions speak louder than your words.
You know, so it's just be who it is that you need to be.
Be who it is that you say you're going to be, you know?
And like you said, even if it is a season, you know, like, okay, we, we're on vacation.
We let everybody know that, Hey, we're on vacation.
We'll catch you on the next time that we're here.
You know, it's be consistent, communicate, do whatever you need to do.
You know, just be somebody that when you say you're going to do it, just do it, you know,
and let your actions, let your actions speak louder than your words.
Yeah, no, I like it.
Yeah.
So I appreciate you, babe.
Thank you.
I appreciate your consistency.
And I do.
I, I am, I'm speaking out of a space where I know that there are times that are hard
and this is one of those, this probably doesn't feel as light and airy possibly for a lot,
you know, for a lot of our listeners, you know?
But we, this is also part of communication.
It's this is part of, you know, the relationship 101, you, you even walk through the things
that are hard, you know, you're, you're consistent in your talk.
You're consistent in your communication.
You're consistent.
And when you know that something is hard, that you're looking at your person and you're
saying it's going to be okay, we're going to get through this.
You're amazing.
It's going to be good.
You know, speaking the word of God, speaking life, reminding that person who they are,
reminding our spouse, reminding our children, reminding ourselves who we are.
I think that's the biggest one right there.
Cause the, the conversation outside of your head is really positive.
It's a conversation inside of our heads that it's where the enemy comes in and he starts
talking smack.
Yeah.
And just, just be still and know that he's God.
Father help, help.
You know, I think I've said that over this past week, father, just help, help.
We need help and we trust you.
We trust you.
You know, there's, there's another line that just saying it over and over father, I trust
you even in the midst of my doubt, maybe my unbelief.
It's not so much.
I don't believe it's just father.
This is hard.
Like the winds and the waves seem bigger than all of this other stuff.
So get my eyes off of the winds and the waves and get my eyes on you.
Help me see the good in the situation.
Help me see where you're working.
Let me, let me, let me be still.
Let me know who you are.
Remind me that you are bigger than the problem.
And then just rest and just rest.
Knowing that he's got it.
So that is it.
That's kind of all we really wanted to talk about today.
Yeah, it was.
So, all right guys, we love y'all.
Thanks for sticking with us and being patient with us while we were going through summer.
And we will see you guys next week.
Have the best week guys.
Enjoy the journey.