I hate technology.
Starting hot.
Welcome to the Taylor Talking Podcast, I hate technology.
It is difficult sometimes.
Like what the actual fuck?
It's all good.
Welcome back everybody.
Yeah, welcome back to the Taylor Talking Podcast.
It's been a while.
Been a long while.
A really, really long while.
There are reasons for that.
But we'll get into that later.
We'll start with something a little more fun.
Yeah, let's start with something topical.
All right, so Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
I mean, neither of us are really fans of either of them.
I mean, I listen to Taylor Swift
if it comes on like my Amazon music,
but I'm not like searching her out to go play her music.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, neither am I.
Exactly.
Oddly enough.
And yeah, Travis Kelsey, I had no idea who he was
before he even started dating her.
So, but I'm not really a big sports person.
Sports ball.
Yay, sports.
It's coming up next weekend.
I know, I do enjoy the commercials.
The commercials are the only good part
of the Super Bowl in my opinion.
Where did we watch last year's Super Bowl?
I don't even remember.
Did we just go to a bar?
I don't even remember.
We must have just gone to a bar.
Jesus.
What are we doing this year?
We're going over to my friend's place, remember?
Sorry, that jingling you here is the dog.
The dog is playing with his hump bunny.
Being a psycho right now.
He has a toy that he vigorously has sex with.
And then he snuggles it.
It's better for everybody that way.
Yeah, he'll have sex with it and then he'll sleep
and it's nice.
Family members' legs usually, you know,
they don't become victim.
He's never done that to anybody.
Yeah, cause he's got the bunny.
That's why he's sex.
He's never done that to anybody.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Anyways.
So what'd you have to say about the whole,
what was the angle with the whole Travis, Kelsey?
I don't know, it's like a huge deal.
It's like for numbers.
The thing that I think is funny is like,
apparently there's a bunch of men that are all
huffing and puffing about how Taylor Swift
is ruining football when she's literally only shown
for maybe 20 seconds in an entire three hour game.
20 seconds too long, Taylor.
Oh, okay.
Do you think because your name is Taylor,
you feel like a little bit like of an emotional
attachment to her?
Not really.
Do you wanna hear something funny though?
What?
So in 2013, I volunteered at the Grammys and-
Did you meet her?
No shit, I met her.
I was walking, this is gonna sound really cool.
I'm about to name drop so fucking hard right now.
She was like 16.
So I'm standing outside the green room
where I'm supposed to be helping LL Cool J.
And then somebody comes up to me, he's like,
hey, can you go bring these water bottles
over to Rihanna's room?
And I was like, fuck, yeah, I can.
So I'm going over there, you know, I knock on the door,
they open the door, it's Rihanna with Damien
and Ziggy Marley.
And when they open the door, there was a literal
plume of smoke.
Like it looked like a fog machine.
And that was really fucking cool.
I forgot where I was going with this story.
Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I drop off the water bottles
and I'm walking back to the green room
and I look to my left and sure as shit,
I'm literally walking right next to Taylor Swift.
And she did look really, really pretty,
but she also looked really, really skinny,
which I guess come to find out she had
like an eating disorder.
But she still looked really good
and she performed what she did really good.
And I told her she looked really pretty
and she's like, oh my God, thank you.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
So you didn't say my name's Taylor too.
It took everything in me now to be like,
oh my God, my name's Taylor also.
Supposed to have a name tag.
Do you wanna hear something great though?
So there's like three days of rehearsal
and then the actual Grammy night, right?
Yeah, no, I knew that.
I wasn't, that was a rhetorical right, okay.
So the very first day,
LL Cool J literally came up to me
cause it was like near where I was supposed
to be working for that day.
He's like, hey, sup, my name's Cool J, blah, blah,
what's your name?
It's like, oh, I'm Taylor.
He's like, hey, Taylor, nice to meet you.
I was like, yeah, if you need anything,
I'll be right out here, just let me know,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
That was the first day.
I did not see him again until actual Grammy night.
And he was like coming down the hallway,
walking the opposite way as me.
And he literally came up to me and was like,
hey T, how's it going?
He remembered who I was
and he remembered my first initial.
That's pretty awesome.
I am not like, I don't know a lot of things
about LL Cool J, but I was like fangirling really hard.
Do you think he'd remember you today?
It would be really cool, but I would be very surprised.
I would, with all the people he meets
and all the crowds he goes through,
like I would be surprised.
There's no fucking way.
But like he is, like he's super nice.
Like it would honestly would not surprise me
if he just like remembers everybody he ever met.
I've heard other stories about LL Cool J.
Hey, that's not what we're gonna talk about today.
Anyways, so what are your feelings
on the Travis Kelcey Taylor Swift ordeal?
I have no feelings.
You kind of went into a big spiel about it yesterday.
That's because you were like wanting,
I don't have any feelings.
And the fact that-
Well, you said that you thought it was all like,
yeah, just say everything you said to me.
Oh gee, okay.
So it's kind of like Mean Girls where,
what is it, Fetch?
Yeah, that's so Fetch.
I feel the same way.
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelcey are Fetch to me.
Stop trying to-
Quit trying to make Fetch happen.
Quit trying to make it happen.
Like quit trying to make me give a fuck
one way or the other about it.
Like it's, I don't know.
And then we did have this conversation
and then we got a little, I don't know, some time passed.
And then we talked about it again.
And it was just like,
you know, when you're,
why would it be the thing for any reason at all?
Like I've seen it in the past.
Like the specific example is the fuck,
Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson.
So, you know, this is not a new thing,
but yeah, the way it's like kicked out there
and like stuff's different now with social media.
I don't think TikTok existed
when they were a couple at all, but-
They had like Vine or something.
It's just a weird fucking deal.
And I hate it being brought up because yeah,
they're gonna force me to like talk about it.
Well, you know what it's to do.
And actually waste my actual fucking time.
You know what it's really to do, right?
It's to distract everybody from the multiple genocides
that are happening right now.
I mean, there's definitely,
I don't know if I agree exactly with that,
but yes, I think it's being pushed or kind of pumped
or elevated for some reason.
I don't know what's gonna happen.
I've heard some crazy conspiracy theories about it, but-
Yeah, all the like number conspiracy theories and shit.
Yeah, there's that one.
All these people that look like tweakers
counting all this stuff out.
It's funny.
It's just ridiculous.
I will say some of the,
like I don't remember what they specifically were
off the top of my head,
but some of the number stuff was actually really weird.
Like some of them you're like, okay,
like you're kind of fucking reaching for that one.
But then others it's like, okay,
now that's too weird to be a coincidence.
Yeah, man.
It's the Illuminati man.
That's the primary one I heard.
It's like, they're gonna use it.
They're gonna, it's all scripted.
The Chiefs are gonna win the Super Bowl.
They're gonna propose, they're gonna get married
or he's getting engaged at the half, 50 yard line.
There are conspiracy theories about Taylor Swift
and how she's basically like a clone
or like basically this one woman
that used to be essentially like the queen of the Illuminati.
I forget her name,
but like the pictures of her literally look
just like Taylor Swift,
but like if Taylor Swift was like in her 50s
and there's a lot of similarities.
Like this lady loved snakes.
A lot of Taylor Swift's iconography is snakes
and there were like the number 13 was big with her
and that's like Taylor Swift's number.
There were a lot of other things about how, yeah,
she's basically like, you know, like get out
where it's like the people,
the rich people take over somebody else's body.
Like that's basically like what this lady did
with Taylor Swift is what the really crazy people were saying.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's all out there though.
You could go down the rabbit hole,
but what sucks is that they even tried to create
a rabbit hole that involves that shit.
What do you think happened with Kanye?
Do you think Kanye got cloned?
He said if he ever disappeared and came back,
that wasn't him.
And Kanye's been a special kind of crazy lately.
Yeah, I don't know.
I did see a news story where he went,
I think it was a basketball game
in like a fucking hockey mask, like a Jason mask.
Am I getting that right?
Yeah, Jason.
His wife eerily looks just like Kim Kardashian.
His wife looks just like his ex-wife.
Again, this is all, we're going into this area
where I don't give a shit.
I mean, this whole fucking podcast
is about mental health and conspiracy theories.
Yeah, but the celebrity ones, it's like, I don't know.
I guess it ties into deeper stuff.
Well, you can find a different podcast to talk on that.
It's all connected, right?
Like it's all, somebody's pulling the strings somewhere.
Yeah, the Illuminati, the lizard people.
Puppet Masters, right?
Yeah.
Okay, let's, we got something else we could talk about.
Kind of like just happened to us.
How about the dream stuff?
This would be a good one to talk about.
So, Dream Drew likes to cheat on me.
Yeah.
Good thing.
All right, so yeah.
Yeah, I don't know, something, I don't know.
I just have these really realistic dreams
where you cheat on me or you like break up with me
or something and it like really sucks.
But like, I don't get mad at you, I just get sad.
Right.
In real life, I mean.
How often does it happen?
Maybe like once a week.
Really, that often?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, is it really?
I mean, I've been cheated on by like, you know,
90% of the guys I've dated, so.
I've been cheated on too by,
I don't know what the percent is, but.
I've also dated more people than you have.
That's true.
Yeah, probably, I'm gonna guess.
I mean, we've already been over it.
Have we?
Yeah, I've had more like serious relationships than you have.
And probably un-serious ones.
Definitely un-serious ones too.
Yeah, I'm pretty vanilla, guys.
Pretty vanilla over here.
He's a manila envelope.
Yeah.
Careful, they'll give you paper cuts, those things.
Anyways, yeah, so I keep having these dreams.
Like the other day, I had a dream where Drew,
the weirdest part is, we were all in the house.
Oh my God, my fish just went fucking crazy.
He went and hit the top of the fish tank.
He's trying to get out.
Oh my God, that was insane.
He's trying to escape.
What the hell?
I hope he didn't hurt himself.
Oh my God.
He's my little baby, why did he do that?
He's never done that before.
So happy, he's jumping for joy.
He just literally like went insane
and jumped out of the water
and slammed into the top of the aquarium.
Anyway, what was I talking about?
Me, the dream version.
Yeah, I had a dream.
We were in the house that I lived in
when we moved to Iowa and my mom was there.
Oh God.
And you just broke up with me in front of her
and you said that I was superficial and fake
and then I found messages in your phone
from this slut named Kat and it was spelled C.
And it was spelled C-A-T.
And then, you know, like a little bit later,
I woke up and you were literally spooning my cat.
So it confirmed it.
You're cheating on me with my kiki.
And then literally like the next day,
I had the same dream,
but like Kat turned into my friend Katie.
And I was like, what the fuck?
This whole thing is something like, I don't know.
It's definitely me, not you.
Well, okay.
I get that to a certain degree.
Cheers.
It's definitely something that like
people have said to me before, you know, and.
Drew hates Dream Drew.
I get triggered.
Like he hates Dream Drew.
He fucking, every time she brings it up,
it's like, why are you telling me this?
First of all.
Well, it's a combination.
It's like, I don't get upset, but it's like,
well, that sucks that you have dreams like that.
Cause I don't have dreams like that very often.
Like, I don't think.
You don't normally dream about me.
I don't think I've ever had a dream like that.
Yeah, about you.
But I'm trying to think if I've had dreams like that at all.
It just fucking drives me.
It's like, I, you know, whether it's you on you
because of your past, whatever, or it's, you know,
it's on you still, but it's like.
It's definitely my mental illnesses.
If you think that about me, then.
No, I don't.
Like that's like, you're literally the only guy
I've never had to worry about like cheating on me.
It's weird.
I don't know.
I'm in a healthy relationship and my brain doesn't like it.
We joked about this for a while the other day.
So we kind of rehashed some of the stuff, but yeah.
It's like, as a guy, at least to me,
we'll explore my, what is it?
My masculine fragility here.
Like, you know, as a white cisgendered male,
I'm fucking, these days it's like,
I feel, you know, watching everywhere I look,
just, you know, be on your tippy toes,
don't say anything wrong, you know.
You gotta be that way.
People are like super soft nowadays too.
What's Tito licking the wall for?
I don't know.
Our dog's licking the wall.
He's a smart, he has a smooth brain.
So, yeah.
No ridges or lumps.
Tito.
Anyway.
Yeah, but anyway.
So, yeah, already kind of talking about this,
it's like, as the male, we're kind of stuck,
it's like a lose-lose situation.
So if you bring it up to me, you know, you're sad about it.
And I would understand why.
Because if I was having those kinds of dreams,
it would be kind of fucked up.
And they're so realistic, it sucks.
So, and I can't, you know, I'm just like, all right.
You know, I don't know what to do with it.
And then if I were to have that kind of a dream,
I don't, I would, I don't think I'd bring it up.
And I think if I did, you would get like annoyed.
Like, I can't believe you think that about me.
Or like, you know, ew.
It could go either way.
Like, I can't believe you think I would sleep
with like your buddy, you know, like, I don't know,
my friend Adam.
Yeah.
No offense to Adam, but.
Yeah, I had a dream that you banged my friend Adam.
Like, I wouldn't wake up and tell you about it.
I don't like wake up and tell you about it.
I'm just walking around sad and you're like, what's wrong?
So then I tell you, I have a dream.
And you're like, oh my God, that's stupid.
I don't know.
There's been times where I wake up and you're like,
dream drew did it again.
I'm like, oh, geez.
The funny thing is my mom and stepdad
go through the same thing.
Like my mom has dreams that my stepdad's
cheating or leaving her.
And.
It's definitely not a new phenomenon.
She said it's funny because like dream,
Jimmy intends to act up around the same time
that dream drew does.
It's all Jesus.
I know.
And like, you know, not to, but like I said,
this is not the first time that I've had people tell us to me.
Every time it's like, I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know what to say.
And then.
I don't know.
It's not true, but.
It's definitely not like, yeah, you're like the last person.
I think when I hear the word cheating,
we went to go see my parents last month for my birthday.
Yeah.
We're going to go see him again next weekend too.
I believe.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
My birthday was fun.
We got really drunk with them.
Yes we did.
Oh my gosh.
We went out, we went out to dinner
and we got a seafood boil.
We split a seafood boil and it was fucking delicious.
Crab legs, crawfish, shrimp and clams.
And then of course the potatoes, sausage and corn.
Yeah.
Then we went and hung out at a bar
where your friend bartends.
Yeah.
My friend Shelby was the bartender.
So we went out and had,
I don't even know how many shots and drinks there.
And then my buddy Patrick met up with us
and we went to the gay bar
and we were out until probably like 1 32 o'clock.
Yeah.
Lit as fuck.
I woke up in the middle of the night,
threw up my guts.
I forgot about that.
So like my parents had a trash can
in the room that we were staying in
because we stayed with my parents.
So I'm like, sweet bet.
Throwing up all over the fucking trash can.
Well, come to realize it's a fucking wicker trash can.
Like literally a wicker basket as a trash.
So it all seeped through and went into the carpet.
Yeah.
Was not meant for liquids.
It was not meant for liquids at all.
And yeah.
Kleenex is, that's about the extent of that trash can.
Luckily like it was all liquid.
So like I literally,
that morning I woke up and was like,
I threw up, I need to shampoo your carpet.
So I was like, where's your shampoo?
And then my stepdad was like, just leave it.
I'll do it.
I was like, are you sure you just want me?
Like that room's gonna stink if you just leave that there.
But I was worried that he would forget about it
and like not clean it up.
But he got to it basically after we left.
I checked with mom and was like, did he clean that up?
She's like, yes.
So it's always an interesting night
when we stay at her parents' house.
Oh, for sure.
They like to party.
Well, they have animals.
Like they got some cats and a couple dogs.
Two dogs, three, oh well now they only have two cats.
One of the last times we stayed there,
I made the mistake of leaving the door open
at night when we went to bed.
And there was this fucking panther.
It's a black cat.
His name's Harley.
He's like 15 pounds.
He's a beast.
He's fucking huge.
And he came in and I had taken my clothes off
and kind of piled them up neatly on the floor.
And I was drunk.
I mean, we do get kind of shit faced.
We had done shots that night.
I wake up and my clothes are just soaked.
I'm like in urine.
And at first we were like,
oh my God, did you like wake up and pee
on your clothes in the middle of the night?
But no, it was like, it smelled like straight cat piss.
And so my mom was like, yeah, that was definitely Harley.
And then, so that happened.
And then this last time, well, you did puke in the room.
I puked in the room.
But outside in the hallway.
There was a pee spot.
And again, it was like, you know, did you do it?
I'm like, look at the pee spot.
Because it was tiny.
It was like.
Jimmy knew that it was cat or dog pee.
But mom was like, Drew, did you pee in the hallway?
I would have left a puddle.
This was a very small area, the size of a dollar bill.
Mine would have been like.
The size of a dinner plate?
50, like 20 dinner plates.
Oh my God.
Well, you know, empty your bladder in the middle of the night.
I have a very small bladder.
It would have been traumatic.
My bladder is like the size of a dinner plate.
A dinner plate?
Oh, not the bladder itself,
but like how much pee it can hold.
You know what I mean?
I have P.L.I.
You know this.
I know, road trips are fun.
I just need to, well, it sucks when we have to like
leave early in the morning,
because then I need coffee,
which is obviously going to make me have to fucking pee.
Yeah?
Excuse me.
I think.
What else did we do for your birthday?
I think.
Well, we had plans to go out with my friend Rachel,
but then we got hit with that massive snow storm.
Oh yeah.
Because we live in Iowa and my birthday is in January,
so I can never have any fucking fun.
Yeah, there's literally a blizzard,
kind of like the same week of your birthday.
We got like 16 inches of snow in some places.
We probably got like 10 inches where we live.
Yeah.
A lot of high winds.
It was a straight blizzard.
It was crazy.
Yeah, it was insane.
We did not go anywhere.
We did not leave the house.
We, at one, like there was one day where it was so cold,
we literally just looked at each other
and we were like, fuck it, the dog can pee inside today.
Too much.
Yeah, I think a couple of those nights,
it got down to like negative 30, stuff like that.
Not including wind chill, yeah.
Yeah, it was bad.
Yeah, now it's like we're fine.
We're going into spring.
Yay, Bucks Tony Phil didn't see a shadow, yay.
Did you know, I forget what state it is.
I think it's like Texas or Arkansas or something.
They do it with a possum.
I mean, any rodent will work.
Any rodent will do.
I'm gonna get a rodent.
I believe a beaver, is it a rodent?
I don't know.
Might be.
I don't know how that works.
I think a ground hog are the same thing.
Imagine if the saying went,
how much ground could a ground hog ground
if a ground hog could ground hog,
if a ground hog could hog ground.
There we go.
That worked actually.
It did.
That was weird.
Ah.
Oh my God.
Let's see, what else is new?
We had some fun this weekend.
I mean, we're wrapping it up at Sunday night, but.
We didn't do a goddamn thing this weekend.
Friday night, we went out to eat
at a local Mexican restaurant.
We go literally almost every weekend.
We've gone almost every weekend
for the one and a half years that we've,
two and a half years that we've lived here.
Yeah, it's always a good time.
It is such good food.
We went for her birthday, on her birthday.
Yeah.
We were gonna go to Cheesecake Factory,
but we almost slid out on the interstate
and it was starting to snow, so we were like,
fuck it, we're just gonna go back home
and eat something near there.
So yeah, we went to the Mexican restaurant.
Yeah, that was one of those,
should we go, should we go?
And then I started spinning out.
Let's try it.
The on-ramp, you know, she did some
fast and furious action.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know, answer the question for us.
I wasn't even going fast.
I was only going like 15,
cause I knew it was gonna be.
It was treacherous out there.
Right.
So yeah, and then I started fishtailing
and I was like, yep, I'm taking the next exit.
Yeah, she got the sombrero and the whole nine yards.
They gave me a free shot.
Yeah.
It was awesome.
Yeah, and then.
It was so awkward, cause I was like telling you
how I'm in the middle of existential crisis
and I was like on the brink of tears
and then they'd come over with a fucking sombrero
and a shot and I'm like, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.
Yeah.
And then, so that was, you know, a couple of weeks ago.
And then, you know, this Friday,
there was a guy that had a couple of shots there.
Oh my God.
He was in pretty bad shape.
Dude, he was, so there was a group,
it was like five of them, four or five of them.
And they must've all been like work buddies or something
cause they were, I think they were celebrating something.
I thought they had some kids with them.
Weren't they, didn't they have a couple of kids with them?
I don't remember any kids being over there.
Okay, maybe not.
But yeah, they were celebrating something
or something like that, I don't know.
But they all had margaritas and I overheard one of them
saying that they had all done like three or four shots
of tequila.
So at one point after we had been like,
we had already ordered and received our drinks and food
by this point and homeboy like gets up to go to the bathroom
and he can't even stand.
His wife had to literally like put him over her shoulder
and walk with him to the bathroom.
She gets him through the door
and then she walks back to the table.
I'm like, this is not gonna be good.
He was in there, I don't know,
maybe five minutes goes past
and there was a little boy sitting at a table next to us
and he went to go to the bathroom.
And I was watching cause at this point
I was fully invested.
Like Drew was in the middle of telling me a story
and I could tell you were getting annoyed
cause you didn't think I was paying attention.
But I wanted to know what was going on
with this fucking dude.
So the kid opens the bathroom door and he starts walking in
and he literally like hesitates.
You can see he like takes a step back
and is like what the fuck.
So he just kind of like slowly walks into the bathroom
and like goes the other way.
And he comes out here and I'm like,
oh my God, is he gonna tell his parents?
Is he gonna tell his parents?
Doesn't say a fucking word.
So I don't know, another maybe 10 minutes goes by
and I hear the other people at the table.
They're like, oh my God, is he okay?
Where is he?
Is he fine?
His wife's like, oh he's fine, he's fine, he's fine.
Two other kids go to the bathroom
and they do the, it's funny cause everybody
that went in was children.
And you got this grown ass, drunk ass man
doing who knows what the fuck in the bathroom.
So these two other boys go in there.
They do the same thing the first kid did.
They like double take and step back
and then they go in and they looked like
they were actually gonna say something
but they didn't when they came out.
They just like went back to the table and whatever.
So then this dad with his three kids.
Well I think I went in.
Oh yeah you did.
And that's where I went in.
So she's like giving me the commentary.
I can't see it because it's all.
I'm giving in the play by play.
It's all behind me.
Like just the way the setup is.
They're all walking past me in the bathroom.
He's facing the windows, I'm facing the bathrooms.
So she's telling me all this.
I'm like I gotta go check this out.
So I fuck it.
I'm like I gotta go pee.
And she's like huh.
I'm like you know I gotta go check this out.
So I go in there.
I was like you don't have to fucking pee.
I didn't.
But I go in there and so it's a really small bathroom.
It's just one urinal and one stall and the sink.
So but he's in the stall but the door is wide open
and he can look in there.
And he's just like there's a toilet in there
but he's like in the corner behind the toilet.
Standing up and he's just got his face
kinda pressed into the corner and he's just kinda.
He's just kinda groaning.
And every once in a while you can hear him
spitting to the toilet.
Like he was fighting off puking.
He probably already had puked his brains out.
But yeah he was in bad shape.
So I actually did go in the bathroom and wash my hands.
And just as I'm walking out the door
I did a Ric Flair woo like super loud.
Literally you hear him he's like woo.
I'm like Drew what the fuck?
And his wife, like that kinda like set his wife off
to like red alert and she's like okay.
And then she like comes to our table
and she was like is he okay in there?
And we're like no.
So she came kinda running up, came running down the hallway
and caught me before I got to the booth.
She's like is anybody else in there?
Is he okay?
And I was like I don't know.
I was trying to wake his ass up
and then is anybody in there?
I'm like not that I know of.
Just kinda sat down.
You go get your man girl.
Bro yeah so she.
The best part is like they're probably in their late 50s.
Like they're grown ass people.
Yeah probably 60s.
Like they were yeah.
So she ends up going in there and then you know
you can tell the rest cause you saw it.
I was just.
Yeah so like as she's in there
there's this other older guy that goes to the bathroom
and he's like oh shit there's a lady in here.
And so she comes out, he goes to the bathroom
and then this dad with like literally four kids
goes to the bathroom and they see them.
And I thought for sure the dad would tell
like management or somebody at the restaurant.
Nobody said a god damn word.
I mean after that guy was in there
for probably a half an hour.
And he was in there when we left.
Like when we left it had probably been a half an hour
of him being in the bathroom.
Easy, easy.
Cause she was talking about let's get another margarita
and see how this plays out.
And he was like no I wanna go home.
I didn't wanna end up like that guy.
It was comedy.
It was, it was a good Friday.
It was.
Cause this week, I don't know what it was
about this week but it sucked.
And that kind of was like all right.
Little bit of comedy relief.
Definitely.
And a couple, well at least one margarita.
Give me one margarita and I'll open my legs.
So yeah, speaking of existential crises.
Yeah you'll have those on your birthday every once in a while.
Oh my god.
Like I turned 33.
And.
That's a good number.
That's Larry Bird.
I just, it sucks.
Like I loved celebrating my birthday when I was younger.
And you know, as a kid my mom would always make sure
we had like these really grand birthdays.
So like that's just how I, I guess became accustomed
to celebrate and I always wanted to do that.
And anytime I wanted to like have this huge gathering
of friends to celebrate my birthday,
nobody wanted to do it.
You know what I mean?
Like I had never been on a party bus before I met Grant
because none of my friends ever wanted to do a party bus
for my birthday.
Or I didn't have enough friends to like make it even worth it.
You know what I mean?
But you know, for Grant's birthday he went
and he got a party bus so I got to ride on one
so that football's not a dream.
But like I found that the older I get,
the more and more depressing my birthday gets.
Because not only am I getting older
and that's an existential crisis in itself.
Like I'm 33 and I still feel like I'm 18.
Like the fact that I'm legally an adult is worrisome.
Well I think a lot of people feel that way.
I mean I feel that way.
I mean I went rollerblading today.
Yeah but I just mean like I got a lot in my head
about like you know, what's my purpose here?
I don't wanna spend the next 30 years of my life
slaving away and not having any.
Like the thought of being alive for another 30 years
is stressful.
I'm not saying I'm gonna kill myself.
Like I'm definitely not suicidal.
But like I don't look towards the future and think,
oh my God I can't wait.
I look towards the future and I go ugh.
Yeah there's definitely gonna be some challenges
along the way I'm sure.
I mean I've been through enough challenges
in my fucking 20s.
Like I heard the 30s are supposed to be easier.
Yeah you're crushing it.
Yeah except for my mental health.
Like.
You've had some, let's say some hiccups.
You know a couple of road bumps.
What is that?
I mean I'm still kind of going through it.
Like my seasonal depression this year has been really bad.
I wasn't like showering or brushing my teeth for like.
Oh my God.
At least a week at a time.
What the fuck?
I've told you all of this.
Why are you acting surprised?
Like.
I'm surprised you're telling them.
That's literally what this podcast is about Drew.
Mental health and conspiracy theories.
Yeah that's true.
Cause I'm batshit crazy.
But yeah my mental health has not been good lately.
I've not been okay.
Hold up it's been better than it has been.
In terms of panic attacks yes.
Like my anxiety's better but my depression is worse
than it's ever been.
Ever.
Well you know.
Which one's worse?
I mean they both kind of suck.
I know that.
I know they both suck.
But which one I mean.
I don't know.
What a terrible question to ask you.
Yeah I don't really have an answer for that.
I'm sorry.
Which one would you prefer?
Tell me you don't struggle for mental illnesses
without telling me you don't struggle for mental.
That's the thing though.
I know your family definitely has their drama
but your family is so healthy compared to mine.
Your relationships I know they've been crazy
but they're still so healthy compared to the shit
that I've been through.
I've told you about shit that I've gone through in my life
and shit that exes have put me through
and it's like your jaw goes to the ground.
You're like people have really done shit like this to you
and it's like yeah and it sucks
because now I'm with you and I know
you would never do anything to hurt me.
You would never like I know you actually love me
and because of these shitty fucking relationships
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm just like that's where Dream Drew comes in.
He does all the things that I think you're gonna do.
You know what I mean?
Yeah he knows.
No you said a lot there but I want the listeners
to kind of you know first of all I'm Prince Charming.
He really is.
No like I'm not even kidding you're literally
I think I was talking to Patrick about this.
It was like you're the only man I've ever actually dated.
All the other kids like they were boys.
They were little fucking boys.
Only thought with their fucking dicks
which I mean you do too but it's cute.
You know what I mean?
Whoa hey hey hey.
We all have needs.
Right I know I know.
But yeah like even though I'm with you
and I'm in this amazing relationship
and I have a great job and like we're gonna go on a vacation
like I'm still fucking depressed.
I know.
But yeah we're gonna go on a vacation.
We're gonna go back to New Orleans.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
We'll go back to some happy stuff now.
I think like have you been doing this the whole year?
What do you mean?
I mean the podcast.
Is this did we do this when we got back
from New Orleans last year?
I think I had started it a little bit before.
So we're coming up on our one year anniversary.
Okay but like we did do a recap.
We did a recap yes.
We did do a recap.
I think we talked about it in a couple of episodes
but we have one specifically where we did like a recap
of what we did.
Yeah this one.
I can't wait we're going but we're not gonna go
with my parents this time.
It's just gonna be us.
Yeah.
Actually that'll be well not totally new
but there's we've done the last couple of vacations
we went on was with your parents.
Yeah we went to Vegas with them.
And then well we went to Arizona by ourselves.
That's true.
And then we went to New Orleans with my mom and Jimmy.
Where else did we go?
Didn't we go somewhere else?
Oh we went to Omaha with them for the movie.
Oh that's true.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Always fun.
We like traveling with them.
They got their own shit they're doing I think.
They do yeah they're gonna be where are they going?
Is it Florida or is it California?
Man.
I don't remember.
That's Jamaica.
Oh that's right.
It's fucking Jamaica.
Because we almost went.
Jimmy wanted to go.
We almost did it.
Yeah Jimmy was like I'm going to Jamaica.
I don't care where you're going
but I'm going to fucking Jamaica.
Yeah I had to make a decision I was like.
Well we thought about it but like yeah I just
I love New Orleans and there's so much
that we didn't get to do when we were there
that I would like the graveyard tours,
the garden district all this fun stuff
and we're staying.
Normally when I go on vacations I like to be very frugal
and I like to like you know not ball out
and spend a ton of money.
I'll try to find like you know a cheaper hotel
but Drew convinced me to kind of pony up
so we got this really nice balcony suite.
Oh yeah.
Right in the French Quarter.
Royal Senesta and it's like one of the main streets
that our balcony is facing
and we're going literally the same exact time
that we went last year so we're hoping the weather
is just as good as it was.
Cause it was perfect while we were there.
Well we'll just have to keep our eye on it.
I know.
I mean either way we'll make it fun.
I'm so fucking excited.
Yeah me too.
I can't wait for the food, the beignets.
I want to eat some etouffes
cause I didn't eat any etouffes the last time I was there.
Yeah we've definitely got some boxes to check off.
Oh my god we got so fucking drunk last time.
That bark roll.
Oh my god.
But yeah it's gonna be nice cause my mom,
when my mom goes on a vacation
she has every single thing planned out.
She has an itinerary and we stick to that itinerary.
So there were definitely times that we had without them
while we were there but this time it'll be nice
cause we can do whatever we want when we want.
Yeah we still gotta plan some stuff out though.
For sure.
Maybe a couple of days left.
At least for me I want to carve some time out
to do some stuff.
Oh.
I'm excited to walk into some shops.
We had a lot of fun doing that.
At least I know you did.
We did.
I got your little crucifix pendant from there.
One of the shops there.
Yeah there's all kinds of jewelry
and all kinds of fun stuff.
Jewelry.
Oh.
I said jewelry.
Yeah jewelry.
What kind of jewelry?
Yeah we had fun.
The crystal shops too.
There was.
Yes I need to go and get a new poison ring
because mine broke and I was really sad about it.
Yeah.
I had a garnet poison ring.
I also had one that was aquamarine
but I gave that to my friend Katie for her birthday
and then literally the next month
we were at a concert and mine broke.
Oh well.
We're gonna go back and I can get a new one.
I'm so fucking excited.
But it's awesome because time is flying by
and it's literally gonna be here before.
I need to start working out because I'm fat
and I don't want to be fat when we go there.
Time is flying by.
I know.
I don't fucking like it.
2024 we're already.
It's February 2024.
We're almost 10% done with 2024.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
What are you gonna say?
I don't know.
When I think about conspiracy theories
the only thing that came to my mind right now
for some reason was Marilyn Monroe.
She got killed because she was fucking both
the Kennedy brothers and knew too much.
Oh.
Yeah.
No that does sound.
I've heard that before.
Why did that come to your mind?
I don't know.
It just, you asked what I thought
when I thought conspiracy theory
and Marilyn Monroe just was like boop.
Yeah.
I mean I wonder what she knew.
What do you think they told her?
Well like supposedly she knew about aliens and stuff
and she was gonna like give out a bunch of information
and that's supposedly why she got killed.
Okay.
I could see that angle.
Yeah.
Cause I mean you know,
we're looking at this at a couple different angles here.
Like I guess I don't know the real,
like she was banging both of the Kennedy's.
Bobby and JFK.
Okay.
So Bobby was the attorney general.
During the, yeah I'm pretty sure that was the deal.
He was the attorney general during the JFK administration.
But either way I'm sure whatever JFK knew,
RFK knew.
And then they were both slamming this lady.
By the way, Marilyn Monroe,
what was her real name?
God damn it.
Gene Billy, no.
Stompson Gene.
Oh.
It's on the tip of my tongue.
You should know this.
It's on the tip of my tongue.
I don't remember.
I've had two drinks.
Yeah.
I wanna say I think,
God I always get hurt.
Like we just watched an Anna Nicole Smith documentary.
I love Anna Nicole Smith.
Which was pretty good.
I love her.
Yeah.
You like Marilyn Monroe too right?
I mean.
Too old?
Not too old.
I definitely have like an appreciation for her
because she's like a major piece of history.
But like, yeah like you said,
like Anna Nicole Smith is more my generation.
Greene and I was still like a teensy fucking child
when she was doing all her crazy shenanigans
like marrying the oil tycoon and all that fun stuff.
And like didn't she start out as like a stripper?
Definitely.
Yeah, yeah.
I fucking love her.
And there's a drag queen that was on RuPaul's Drag Race,
Adore Delano.
She has a really good impression of her.
Yeah.
I can remember like growing up,
whatever the fuck.
I don't know. Yeah.
Creepy besant, you know.
You liked her for sure.
I was like, who is this crazy?
But my dad, I mean my dad's super old.
So there's, you know.
Doesn't your dad, you're like 85 this year?
84.
Yeah. Okay.
But in our house we have,
my dad has like huge pictures of her nude.
Ha ha ha.
You've never noticed that?
No, where?
In the living room?
Like no.
I've only ever been in the living room and the kitchen.
Yeah, you've been.
I've never been anywhere other than the living room
and the kitchen.
I never take you up stairs.
No, I've never.
You saw the hallway though.
I don't ever remember seeing nude women.
You keep coming back.
My dad's got some cool shit.
But like, yeah.
There's definitely, he definitely has,
it's a poster of her nude.
Is it like one of her Playboy shoots or something?
I don't know.
And then he also has,
like it's a Rolling,
is it Rolling Stones?
I think it's Rolling Stones.
Or maybe it's a Led Zeppelin,
but it's like an old concert like poster
and it's some naked chick or whatever.
Ha ha.
Your fucking dad.
But that's got a bunch of cool shit.
I love it.
He's so old.
I mean, he was born in 1940.
That's insane.
Before World War II.
That's fucking crazy, dude.
Right, I know it is.
Yeah, he was in Vietnam.
His dad was in fucking,
I think he was in World War II and Korea,
the Korean War.
Jesus.
That's, yeah.
Ha ha ha, dude.
Your dad's seen some things.
That's what I'm saying.
He's literally seen the evolution of technology.
Yeah, like.
He's seen the invention and evolution of technology.
Yes, I remember.
So, you know, I was born in 84.
So there was computers,
but they're not the normal fucking personal views.
Yeah, one server took up an entire room.
Yeah.
So then, you know, I'm in school.
We get to 1990.
They have the first kind of tabletop computers or whatever.
And I vividly remember being in first grade
and there was a computer class
at the old high school or whatever.
And I went to it with a bunch of kids
and I think my parents were there.
My dad was totally against it.
So he literally was like,
no computers in the house.
We weren't allowed to have a computer,
video games or any of that shit.
And I thank him for it, looking back on it.
My dad was the exact opposite.
He's literally been working with computers
since they were invented.
Well, yeah, your dad's younger than my dad.
I know, but he told me when he was a kid,
he'd get out of school and would ride his bike
like five miles to go to this factory
where they put together computers
and literally learned everything about everything
about computers.
And he's literally made a career out of it.
Yeah, that's awesome.
It's so weird, like, well, yeah,
the generational differences between even you and me.
I mean, yeah, you were born in 84.
I was born in 91.
It's, yeah, a lot of the shit that are like
core memories from my childhood.
You're like, yeah, I was in high school.
Well, just like the technology part,
as far as like when you first got your first cell phone.
Well, they had cell phones for a lot longer
than when I got my, my mom wouldn't let us have phones
until we were 16.
So like my sister's three years older than me.
She obviously got a phone before me,
but like her first phone was a Nokia.
My first phone was an LG chocolate.
Yeah, my first one was Nokia,
but it is crazy because now it's like.
Everybody has an iPhone or Android.
Ugh.
I don't know.
Yeah, I just go to school.
Well, for me, it's crazy because I,
my job takes me to high schools
and middle schools too sometimes,
but yeah, just to remember what it was like to be in school
and you did not have a phone and.
And if you did, you sure shit were allowed to use it.
Yeah, it wouldn't be out.
My teacher literally like would take phones from kids.
Nowadays if teachers try to do that shit,
oh my God, it would not go over well.
I am that dude.
Yeah, for real.
When I was in school, like there was like,
I'm not gonna lie, when I was probably the last two years
I was in high school, some kids did have phones,
but they were the Nokias and they were the Nokias
that had the green backlit screens.
It was like LCD, like looking at an old Timex watch.
Like, you know what I mean?
I don't even like, yeah,
the color screens were not a thing for like three
or four years after I got one.
I remember getting an LG Dare
because that was like when touch screens
first started becoming a thing.
I fucking loved that phone.
Fucking loved it.
But no internet, just texting and calling.
Yeah, it was minutes and all that shit, yeah.
Don't call me before 9 p.m.
Definitely, but I don't know.
It's all like things are changing.
Like we're going, the way we're going though.
I don't like it, time's moving too fast
and I don't like where the world is going.
Yeah, yeah.
That's where a lot of my anxiety comes from.
I was just looking at Apple goggles.
I know TikTok keeps advertising them.
Like I don't wanna see this fucking meta bullshit.
I wish I could check it out.
You're falling for it, Drew.
No, like just to see,
because it's different than the other shit.
So I've experimented a little bit with like the meta quest.
Whatever the fuck this, the headset or whatever.
This is supposed to be different.
I just like to see if it was actually better or whatever.
No, already then.
Yeah, well, I'm changing with the times, Taylor.
I'm not my dad.
Oh, I love him.
He's still kicking though, like we were talking about.
I mean, he was born so long ago
and he has seen all this shit come up.
Like JFK assassin, all these conspiracy theories.
It's good to.
Remember that one time we went to go see your parents
and your fucking aunt and uncle, I think it was.
And I made a fucking idiot of myself
by talking about all these fucking conspiracy theories
about like Eisenhower
and how the fucking moon landing was fake.
We got technology in exchange for harvesting humans.
And your family was like, okay, Taylor.
The first Thanksgiving.
That wasn't Thanksgiving.
That was, we literally just met them at a park.
I think it was like your dad's birthday or something.
It's a family reunion.
Oh yeah.
But like it was just your family and then them too.
So it wasn't like, but it was so funny
because we talked about Zacharias Sitchin
and fucking Eric Von Daniken.
And I talked about chariots of the gods.
And like, I still cringe about it to this day.
I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe I fucking did it.
Well, but I mean, you shouldn't feel like that.
But before we left, your dad was like, giving me a hug
and he was like, great conversation today, Taylor.
And I was like, you're probably being sarcastic.
No, well, no, because my dad,
I mean, I think I've told you about this.
My dad, he's been a conspiracy theorist forever.
Since before.
He owns all those books that you just, all those books.
Yeah, Chariots of the Gods.
He owns all of those.
Yeah, I know.
Like he bought them when they came out.
Yeah.
My dad, I remember he had like this whole library
of old paperback books.
It was all that shit, like Chariots of the Gods.
I have the Zacharias, Sechen 12th planet over there.
Yeah, my dad is like the JFK, that whole shit.
Like my dad was 23 when it happened.
Like he was, and then he got into it.
Like he was, imagine that kind of shit happening.
I've been to the grassy knoll and the window.
Yeah, he let me like borrow, read those books.
I bought him hard copy versions of those books for Christmas.
Like he is, and he has every right to be like 9-11.
I'm trying to get him on 9-11.
Oh, you started talking to him about it, didn't you?
I tried to do it, but it's so funny.
Cause it's like, you know, he's a hardcore JFK
conspiracy theorist, but like 9-11, I bring it up
and he's just like, what?
You know, like it's so fucking.
Didn't you tell him about the other building
and he was like, what?
Which is it like, yeah, he had no idea,
which most people don't.
And this probably sounds crazy, but yeah,
look at a building center.
But like, I swear to God, if I got him on 9-11,
it would be another, he'd be like, holy shit.
Oh my God.
I love your dad.
I love your mom.
She's the sweetest.
Yeah, she is.
She's the total opposite of my dad.
My dad's total type A.
She's total opposite of you.
Psycho.
Yeah, my guess.
Like you are a carbon copy of your dad
and your brother's a carbon copy of your mom.
Like your brother is like this very chill, laid back,
like naive and innocent guy.
And then you're like, I've seen some things.
My brother's not, my brother's not laid back.
I mean, you know what I mean.
Like he's very.
He's quiet.
Yeah.
I'm loud.
It's always the quiet ones, you have to be wary of.
That's what I'm saying.
You say he's laid back, I'm like, he's not laid back.
I think he's gonna like shoot up a bone or something.
He says he may be that laugh said maybe.
I said, he's like, he's like quiet, laid back.
That's all I'm saying.
Oh my God.
There's a difference.
That's fucking funny.
Yeah, he's high strung as fuck.
Do you ever see your brother like committing a mass murder?
The look on your face.
I mean.
For legal reasons, he's not gonna answer that question.
Yeah.
His face said yes.
No, no, no, Mitch, I love you.
If you ever fucking hear this.
Okay.
Don't listen to her.
Okay.
Sorry, Mitch.
It's just for the views.
Oh shit.
He's had a rough, you know, couple years.
He has had it, yeah.
But I think he's doing pretty good.
His fuck, all right.
Here we go.
Are you gonna spill his tea?
This is my masculine fragility again.
You're gonna spill the tea on your brother?
Well, you got fucked over by a woman.
Like hardcore.
This was like a year ago.
Yeah.
But he was fucked up, dude.
He was gonna marry her.
Like, yeah.
And then like two months before the wedding,
she was like, by the way,
I've been cheating on you this whole time.
Man, oh man.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's got a couple kids by some other,
her previous marriage.
Drew was like, you should just continue with the marriage
and then leave her ass at the altar.
Yeah, I wanted him to, yes.
He wanted him to do that so bad.
I wanted him to drop a nuclear bomb on this woman.
But he was an adult.
And he broke up before the wedding.
That's not my brother.
But like, that's so not my brother
that he didn't know what to do.
He was like, I don't know what to do.
And it's like, all right, well,
you gotta be like, fuck off.
Yeah, bitch, you know.
He was like thinking about that.
They were like working together
and still living together, yeah.
So I don't know.
That is the difference between him and I.
I am like, you.
I'm type A.
No, I don't know.
But I've been, you know, he, like, we are different.
So we've had a different life experience.
I get myself into a lot of shit.
And he's only a year younger than you.
That's the craziest thing.
And you guys are polar opposites.
Year and a half or whatever.
But yes, I've gotten myself into a lot of shit
and had to get myself out of it.
Whereas he has played with life a lot more safe.
He doesn't take a lot of risks.
So when like crazy shit like this happens.
You were like surprised that he even proposed.
I don't know, you know.
I was on the fence with this broad.
You didn't, no.
You did not like her.
There was no fence.
He did not like her.
I was trying to be diplomatic here.
No, he didn't like her from the beginning.
He's like, all he ever does is bitch about her.
But then they started being good together.
But I was like, should I get off the pod?
And he was like, I don't know.
And now look, she did him a favor.
He's doing good.
He just got a promotion.
Actually he got a couple of promotions.
He's in like the National Guard.
Army Reserve got a promotion there.
And then in his day to day job got a promotion there.
So good on you Mitch.
Fuck that bitch.
Good on you Mitch.
That's funny.
Yeah, so I don't know.
There's not much else in the short term that's coming up.
I'm trying to think.
Yeah, I mean, New Orleans is really
the only big highlight for me.
I can't fucking wait.
Valentine's Day.
I know.
It's next week.
I told you.
Oh my god, should we do this on the podcast?
Hang on, hang on.
Drew, I'm going to ask you a question.
Oh god, not the question.
Will you be my Valentine?
For reference, since you guys can't see,
but I just pulled out a box and a card.
So yeah, and then there's also a photo album.
The only photo that's in there so far is the cover one.
This is so early.
That's because I'm asking you to be my Valentine.
There's nothing in there except for the cover photo.
But it's blank.
I was going to go and print them off this weekend,
but then I was lazy.
And you have to open this first.
There's a little box.
I handmade this.
Well.
That's a serious weight to it.
It's a stone heart that I painted,
and it says, cooler than Cupid.
Where the fuck did you get this?
I went to the Dollar Tree, and I put this all together,
and I painted it, and all that fun stuff.
You painted it?
Yeah, I painted it.
Now read the card.
It's so cute.
And then, what's the box say?
Pawfect, like P-A-W.
Pawfect together.
And there's a picture of cats and dogs.
There's a little bus full of little animals.
It's a double-decker bus.
And it says, love.
They're in Britain, apparently.
And then I got him a card.
He's opening the card.
It's a Hallmark card.
ASMR.
It's a Hallmark card.
I'm pulling the card.
Whisper.
Say, ASMR.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You gotta rip the paper for the mic.
Hold the fucking card.
There we go.
OK, OK.
OK, we're done with the ASMR.
All right, what's the card say?
Oh.
What's it say?
To the man I love.
I love you can mean so many different things.
But I hope you always know what it means to me.
It means you keep giving me new reasons to love you.
The old reasons mean even more as time goes on.
And I'm grateful every day of my life
that by some beautiful, magical miracle,
we ended up together.
I know, right?
I love you in italics.
Ha ha ha.
And I hope you don't mind hearing
that for the rest of forever.
Happy Valentine's Day.
I love you times infinity, Taylor.
Aw, will you be my Valentine?
Yes.
You jumped the gun by like a week.
I have to ask you to be my Valentine before Valentine's
Day.
Yeah.
OK.
You asked me to be your Valentine,
and then you take me out.
I always do it on the day of like an asshole.
Well, that's because you're really bad at buying gifts.
And you wait until the last minute.
I thought this was going to have something
I could eat inside of it.
Well, I know you didn't really eat candy.
And the only thing I was going to put in there was chocolate.
So like, let me put a fucking protein bar in there.
That's adorable.
That's not real making.
Thanks.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Thank you for the gesture.
You're welcome.
Well, I hope everybody has a happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah.
I think that's a great place to end the podcast.
I think so, too.
I hope everybody also has a good Valentine's Day.
And if you don't have a Valentine,
we will also be your Valentine.
Yeah, everybody deserves love, as weird as it may be.
We love you.
As weird as you may be.
I love you, as weird as you.
And I'm very weird.
All right, guys.
I have no idea when the next episode will be out.
But I'll keep you all posted.
Bye.