I made up for it.
Oh yeah?
Her daughters are fucking funny.
Yeah, Maitland is the best.
She's hilarious.
Tinsel.
Yeah, she's funny as shit.
Welcome, guys.
It's Taylor and Drew.
Do you remember us?
It's been so long.
I, it's been like since August.
It's a long time.
It's November now, so yeah.
It's like six months.
Welcome back.
It feels like it.
It fucking feels like it.
Welcome back to the Taylor Talking podcast.
I hope you guys missed us.
They didn't.
Sorry for the hiatus.
Don't be sorry.
Never apologize.
So we were just talking about what we did this past weekend.
We went to Omaha with my mom to go see some of her friends
or her friend and their kids.
And we went to go watch Elf in a movie theater
and they gave us elf hats.
And we got jingle bells and we got fake snowballs
that we got to throw at each other.
And it was a great time.
It was the whitest thing ever, but it was fun.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm white.
I had fun doing it.
My friend's daughter or my mom's friend's daughter
competed in a spaghetti and maple syrup eating contest.
And after they ate that, they had to chug a Coke and then
burp.
She was the only one to complete all three challenges.
Did she win that?
No.
All right.
Did the guy win?
They gave it to the guy.
Fuck that.
Because the judge was sexist.
That was whack.
She totally won.
Because they announced the prizes
and I thought he got third.
I want to be honest.
There was only one prize.
That's so lame.
Yeah.
So basically she ate the most spaghetti.
He drank the entire Coke.
So I think that's why they gave it to him.
But she drank almost the entire Coke
and she was the only one to burp.
He was going to throw up.
He was literally about to go, girl.
He was at the end of it.
He did throw up.
He was not looking good.
He did throw up on stage, but he threw up shortly thereafter.
Yeah.
We all thought that it was rigged
because she should have won.
But yeah, that was fun.
She won two years ago.
Yeah, she did win it two years ago.
I don't know if it was the same MC, but if it was,
he was like, oh, this bitch again.
It's not good.
He might have been like, oh, you just won a free meal, huh?
Ew.
Spaghetti noodles and maple syrup.
I know.
He could have been thinking that.
You never know.
Tito got to come with us.
He was a hotel dog again, and he was such a good boy.
Yeah, we actually upgraded him to a car dog.
Yeah.
He can sit in the back seat all by himself now.
Yeah.
He's such a good boy.
It's been baby steps, but now we can put him
in the back seat in a bed, his bed, and he just chills.
Yeah, he's just like, OK.
Which is awesome for me.
Because he used to always sit in the passenger's lap,
and it's very uncomfortable for all parties.
Yeah, hot.
Things go to sleep, if you know what I'm saying.
Uh-huh.
Your dick goes to sleep.
And balls.
Oh, yeah, your balls tend to fall asleep a lot.
You should get that checked out.
It's just, it's certain angles with the underwear.
All right.
Maybe you should get new underwear.
You're right.
Maybe I'm putting on weight.
Oh, and your balls.
And your balls.
And my thighs.
Thunder thighs.
He could be, I don't know.
But no, he's a good boy.
Yeah, and then on our way home before we left,
we went to see my old neighborhoods,
like where little baby Taylor grew up.
Oh my god.
It was a very white privileged neighborhood.
Dude, I was just going to say privileged.
And I was like, if she didn't say the word privileged,
I was going to say privileged.
It's the definition of suburbia.
Oh my god, I can't believe it.
Everybody had a white picket fence.
Everybody had a minivan.
Everybody went to the same school.
All of the kids played together.
It was.
It was just like suburbia.
It was just the same house after the same house on cul-de-sacs.
I miss it because, like I said, the environment
was entirely different.
We would all go outside, and the kids
would play until the streetlights come home.
And on Halloween, we would actually
trick or treat on Halloween, not like this stupid beggars
night bullshit that they do in fucking Iowa,
where you only trick or treat from 6 30 to 8 o'clock.
Hell no.
I'm leaving my house with a pillowcase,
and I'm not coming home until 1 AM,
because all the neighbors took their fucking candy inside.
That's what I was used to.
So then when we moved to Iowa, it was like culture shock.
And it's literally the next day over.
It was a two hour drive where we moved,
but just like everything was so different.
It was fun, though.
It was cool seeing it all again, because literally nothing
has changed.
Everything here in Des Moines has changed.
Nothing in my, like where I went to high school,
like it's all different.
Everything is like new and up and coming and bustling.
But like the places in Omaha, like they're literally
nothing has changed.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's weird, because I mean, Iowa, the Midwest, a lot
of people are moving to the Midwest.
The Midwest is seeing a lot of people come into it.
Kansas City, Omaha, Des Moines.
Des Moines seems to be taking like a lot of it, which is good.
And it's very diverse here, which I like a lot.
Yeah, for sure.
Omaha, you know, I don't know much about Omaha.
And I don't know much about Des Moines,
but the growth here is pretty, it's kind of staggering.
So Omaha is technically bigger than Des Moines.
Yeah.
Like the population and everything is bigger.
I wonder how long that's going to last.
It's like twice the size of Omaha.
All right.
Of Des Moines.
Omaha is like twice the size of Des Moines.
Because of the metric, like on both sides of the river
and all that.
Well, that's Council Bluffs.
But I don't know if that's, yeah, that's not Omaha.
All right, well, fuck that.
Fuck Nebraska.
No, I'm kidding.
That's how most people feel.
So yeah, sorry for being gone for so long.
I kind of had a mental breakdown.
It was interesting.
You were really close.
No, I went there.
I was gone.
Yeah, so I started seeing a psychiatrist.
That's kind of what started it all, which you would
think would be a good thing, right?
I was trying to do good.
I knew I needed help.
So I was like, I'm going to talk to somebody that can help me.
And they put me on some Balta.
Ugh, just saying it like all the flashbacks.
I got serotonin syndrome.
And it was a shit show.
I was having nonstop panic attacks.
It was a shit show.
From the time that I woke up until I went to bed.
And I had Drew take me to the ER twice,
went to psychiatric urgent care.
I called the ambulance.
I was convinced I was dying.
Literally was convinced that that was it.
I was going to die.
And the way that I felt on this medication, it scared me.
Because I caught myself thinking,
I don't want to feel like this forever.
The thought of feeling like this forever
just makes me want to just end it.
And then I had a thought about swallowing
a bottle of my pills, which for me,
being somebody who's terrified of death,
why would I be having these thoughts all of a sudden?
So yeah, I went and talked to another psychiatrist.
And they were like, we need to get you off of this medication.
And things have been a lot better
since I've not been on it.
But yeah, I pretty much did not leave my couch
for two weeks.
I missed an entire week of work.
And for the next month after that,
I just did not work at my normal pace.
I just didn't give a fuck.
Because I was convinced I was dying.
But now I'm good.
I have a new psychiatrist.
I have new medications.
My therapist is awesome.
And I'm no longer convinced that I'm dying.
And when I start to have a panic attack, I can like,
Eat a warhead.
Call myself down.
Or, yeah, guys, we went viral.
Oh my god.
And it's still happening.
Yeah, Taylor talking is basically
a viral sensation right now.
My therapist told me to eat a warhead whenever
I have a panic attack starting to come on.
Because the overwhelming sour flavor basically
shocks your nervous system to the point
where it can only think about the sour.
So anything that you were panicked about
is just gone with the wind.
And it fucking works.
I could have tested this.
It fucking works.
It's insane.
So I made a TikTok saying exactly what I just told you.
But while I was eating a warhead because I
was in the middle of a panic attack, and it blew up.
We've got almost 1.8 million views on TikTok.
We've got almost a million views on Facebook.
So many awesome people in the comments,
people that are going through the same exact thing
that I'm going through, people that also struggled
with taking Cymbalta, people who are on Cymbalta.
And it's helping them.
It's crazy the community that I've been able to join.
Because it makes me feel less crazy, for one,
to know that there's other people out there just like me.
Other people going through the same shit.
Literally the same exact thing.
But it was also really cool to be
the person that can offer help to other people.
Because a lot of people in the comments were like, oh my god,
I'm totally going to try this.
Or they were tagging their friends with anxiety.
And so it was really cool.
And it ended up catching the attention
of a news agency in the UK, who I sold the story to.
And you guys can literally look me up on Google.
She's super famous.
If you literally search warhead anxiety, you'll see me.
It's so freaking cool, though.
But I think the coolest thing of it for me
is, like I said, all of the people,
all of the new followers and all the people in the comments
who are like, oh my god, I'm totally going to try this.
Or like, I've totally tried this,
and this absolutely works.
Or like, if this doesn't work, you can try doing this.
Like other people were saying, if you don't like sour,
you can do the same thing with spicy.
Just put hot sauce in your mouth or something.
Other people were saying.
That sounds way worse.
But it works, because it overwhelms your system.
I get that.
But that's a long term commitment.
A lot, for sure.
The warhead is not as long, for sure.
Oh, you're having a panic attack.
Eat a fucking habanero.
I mean, no, they weren't saying that.
But like, it doesn't have to be like the one tip challenge,
but just something to distract your nervous system.
So like the Louisiana hot sauce we have in the kitchen,
I could put a dab of that on my tongue, and it would be enough.
Put it in your eye.
What the fuck?
I'm not trying to go blind here.
God.
That'll really distract you.
Yeah, no shit.
But yeah, so I'm trying to get the attention of warheads.
So you guys should all go to my TikTok, Taylor Talking,
and tag them in the comments of this video.
It's pinned.
It's the very first video you'll see.
Or if you see me on Facebook, Taylor Talking Facebook,
yeah, let's get the attention of warheads,
because I want a fucking sponsorship.
Or if not, I at least want some free candy.
Did you have to buy warheads tonight?
Oh, I forgot.
Oh, shit.
Well, the last time I tried, they
didn't have them in the store.
I had to get them on Amazon.
Oh.
They had the gummies, but not like the legit warheads.
Damn.
But yeah, my therapist said Sour Patch Kids, those will work.
Other people were saying you could do the Atomic Fireball
Cinnamon Candies.
I'm telling you, eyes.
Go in the eyes with something.
No, thank you.
Yeah, that will really distract you.
No, thank you.
I'm OK with that.
You always have a cat hair in your eye anyway.
I noticed that.
That's because of my extensions, my eyelash extensions.
We were driving.
We drove a lot the last couple of days.
But half the time we were driving,
you were digging in your eye.
Well, that's because my eye kept watering.
Yeah, because you were digging in it.
No, I was trying to get the water out of my eye.
Yeah, those extensions.
I've wanted to try them, but you know.
Oh, my god, I would love to put them on there.
I bet you would.
Oh, god.
There's one adhesive that's not very strong.
We could literally do it, and then you
could just take them off.
That's all right.
I'm all right.
Oh, no.
We're going to make a TikTok of it,
and we're going to go viral again.
She's lying to you.
No, it's going to happen.
You can take it.
Just follow me, and you'll see.
What else?
You want to talk about?
Our boat dinner.
Oh, shit.
So we're going to rewind.
Yeah, rewind a bit.
So once I was adjusted to my new medication,
and I was back to my normal self,
Drew decided he wanted to surprise us, or surprise me,
with dinner on a little yacht cruise thingy in Dubuque, Iowa.
So it wasn't so much a surprise, but we
had talked about going to Dubuque,
and going on this trip.
I didn't know what the boat looked like or anything.
But you did tell me about the trip and stuff.
I mentioned it.
As guys do, guys like to feel that type of shit out.
You're like, yeah, you just throw it out there,
and you see what they say.
Yeah.
Well, we had done a dinner cruise in New Orleans.
So I was expecting a riverboat cruise like that.
But this one was like a straight up yacht.
It was.
It was a yacht.
It was a 94 something or other.
I don't remember what the flight was.
It was probably the nicest boat I've ever been on.
Really?
I mean, yeah.
I've never been on a cruise or anything.
OK.
So it was really fun.
We got there.
Apparently, we showed up late.
We didn't know.
I don't think I ever told you this.
We basically walk up, and this lady comes up,
and she's like, are you Drew?
And he was like, oh, yeah.
It makes sense now.
And he was like, oh my god, I feel so special.
But it was because we were late.
We weren't late, though.
We just didn't arrive 15 minutes early.
Like, everybody, apparently, we didn't get the email
that they sent out to tell everybody, hey,
show up early.
But we were there 10 minutes before, so we were fine.
People showed up after us.
Yeah, we were fine.
We missed the email, like you said, apparently.
So it was cool.
I mean, I booked it online.
I had someone call me and ask me.
It was like a week before.
And they were like, are you OK with sitting upstairs?
I guess they were checking to make sure
like I could walk upstairs.
Right.
And so I didn't really get it, but I was like, yeah, sure.
And thank god you said that, because sitting downstairs
would have been so crowded.
Yeah.
So we sat upstairs, and so there was two areas to eat upstairs.
And it was cool because it was outside.
We could go outside.
Right.
We were right next to the door to go outside.
Yeah.
So I think that was the better option.
For sure.
Yeah.
And we have like a better view, I think.
Yeah.
But we were supposed to be going to look at leaves.
Yeah, because it was the beginning of fall,
and we were supposed to go and look at all the leaves changing.
However.
We were two weeks too late.
Yeah, the sun started setting literally
as we left the dock.
So we didn't really get to see a whole lot of leaves.
Nah.
But we still got to like go out on the back of the boat
and like enjoy the fresh fall air and maybe hit a vape pen or two.
Yeah.
But it was cool.
We kind of we went to the bar.
We got some drinks first while they kind of cruised around,
and the guy was telling us some information about the area
and the history and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then they started dinner.
And the dinner was fucking delicious.
They had.
Let's not like we're skipping the part
where we sat with two random people.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we it's a dinner cruise.
So we were expecting like it would be kind of like it
was in Louisiana.
We were like, we have a table to ourselves.
We are eating by ourselves.
I was like, two times, me and her.
Right.
And then we get there, and it's like communal seating.
We are sharing a table with another couple.
Thankfully, they turned out to be super cool.
They were we had a good time with them.
They were funny.
I think they thought we were funny, too.
They were our age.
Yeah.
So it worked out.
Very much so.
And like they had apparently like they were from the area.
They had done it a bunch of times.
They knew the guy that was driving the boat.
And apparently, the guy that drove the boat
also cooked the food.
Nice.
Yeah.
He did a good job.
He did.
So they got they had like some kind of chicken.
I don't remember what it was.
It was like some kind of like roasted tomato chicken
or something like that.
Yeah.
And then they had beef.
Oh, the steak.
The steak.
Yeah.
It was like beef tenderloin.
It was so fucking it was the perfect medium rare.
So tender, melted in your mouth.
I wanted to eat all of it.
They said like the person in line and it was like buffet
style, but they have wait staff that was like serving us.
And one of the people in line in front of us
asked if he could get extra beef.
And they were like, we only have enough for one of each of you.
Like one serving for each person.
So we were like, oh, OK, that makes sense.
But then the people sitting at the table next to us
got like seconds and thirds, like went back in line
and got seconds and thirds.
That's how you do it.
You know, you go through one.
You just don't ask.
You just do it.
Yeah.
Go through once.
Go through again.
Go until someone says something.
And then you're like, oh, fuck you.
Like that's a good strategy.
And then they had like green beans and mashed potatoes.
The potatoes were fire, really garlicky and creamy.
I like it.
And then they had a salad.
You didn't have the salad, but the salad was good.
It was all good.
It was good.
The dessert.
Oh, did you have the dessert?
No, I passed.
I passed on the dessert.
It was a chocolate chip caramel bread pudding.
And it was, you missed out.
It was like it was kind of savory because it's bread pudding,
but it was really sweet because like the caramel
and the chocolate was really good.
And I liked it a lot.
So yeah, American Lady Cruises in Dubuque.
Shout out.
Five stars.
Pretty good.
10 out of 10 service.
I do like, during the conversation we had,
because we were out there for a couple hours, I would say.
Yeah, at least.
But the other couple, and we never got their names.
Not at all.
This was hilarious.
Don't remember them.
We talked.
And we had a good time.
Like we were cordial.
We did.
Yeah, we had a lot of laughs.
We laughed a lot and all this shit.
We're eating.
We're drinking together.
But I never once asked what their fucking names were.
Never, ever, ever.
I think we introduced ourselves.
I don't remember.
I think you might have.
You probably do.
I was like, you know, Taylor is my boyfriend, Drew.
I thought maybe I didn't.
I had a couple of gin and tonics.
So.
Yeah, it's very hazy.
We were hitting pens.
I was drinking gin and smoking dab pens
on the back of this fucking yacht.
And I did the whole, look, Jack, I'm flying.
Because I had to, of course.
Yeah.
It was sick, though.
It was nice, because we were the only people that were outside.
A couple of people walked through,
but nobody really like sat, stayed out there like we did.
On the back was sick.
It was cool.
A lot of people kept walking up to the front.
Yeah.
I miss that.
We should have done that.
I miss that.
I mean, I don't know if it was just another door.
But when we would go in and down the stairs,
on the other side, there was a hallway that people,
because remember they kept walking by the window
when we were sitting down?
I don't like that, because the captain's probably right there.
Yeah, that's probably his.
But people were going up.
They were probably talking to the captain.
Watching you, staring at the back of your head.
No pressure.
Yeah.
Like you were doing to me the other day.
Yeah.
No, it's.
Oh, it made me feel so fucking weird.
I know that you're doing it because you love me.
But the other day when you were standing in the kitchen
and just fucking staring directly at me,
and I was trying not to look at you
because I was trying to ignore it, I got so fucking anxious.
And I was like, why is he looking at me?
Am I doing something wrong?
What did I do?
Did I forget to do something?
Is he going to be mad at me for something?
What is he doing?
What did I do wrong?
And then you were just like, I love you.
And I was like, oh my god, but why is he staring at me?
What did I do wrong?
It's admiration.
Well, it's anxiety.
I'm sorry.
It rhymes.
Yeah.
You rap at a mansion with Wisconsin, like T-Pain.
Mansion in Wisconsin.
In Wisconsin.
Eh.
So T-Pain has a new song with Snoop Dogg,
and it's fucking awesome.
Nice seg.
Seg.
Oh my god.
Little reference to our very first episode
when Drew thought seg was a thing,
and it turns out it's not a thing.
It'll always be.
It'll be a thing to him.
It'll always be a thing to me.
I don't give a fuck.
Oh my god.
What else have you done in the last three months?
Well, after the dinner cruise, we
went out because it was Halloween weekend.
Oh, shit.
That's right.
That was a sick.
Oh my god.
So there was the diviest of dive bars
right across the street from the hotel that we were staying at.
And they had karaoke.
So it was the first time I had done karaoke.
So it was on.
It was the first time I had done karaoke in three years.
And I used to go every Friday and Saturday.
And that's why I was always broke.
But yeah, it was fun.
And then some dude started singing Gangster's Paradise.
And they were slaughtering it.
So I had to help them because I was raised in these streets.
Yeah.
Like when she says slaughtering it, she means in a bad way.
Yeah, no.
They were not doing good.
They did not.
They did not know the song.
I don't know.
This whole experience was hilarious because where we stayed,
the hotel we stayed in, and the bar across the street,
I've stayed there for work several times.
And I've never gone there because I'm a good boy.
When I go out a town for work, I don't go to bars
without my girlfriend.
Yeah, good boy.
But I've always seen it.
I'm like, what's up with this karaoke bar across the street
here?
So I was like, karaoke?
What?
I was able to suggest it innocently
when we did take a trip.
We stayed there for a personal trip, stayed at the same hotel,
went to that bar.
Tito came with us then too.
Yeah, but we had a blast that night.
It was so much fun.
I got shitfaced.
After we went to the dive bar, some drunk girl that was there
came up to our table and was like, you guys
need to go to Paul's and get a cheeseburger.
Oh shit, we did too.
And we were shitfaced.
We was like, yo, cheeseburger sounds like it would fucking
slap right now.
She's like, it's the best burger in town, ra ra ra ra,
because she was drunk.
And so we walked.
It was literally around the next corner, half a block away.
So we go there.
It's packed, because it's Halloween weekend.
And they don't even have a kitchen.
It's like a countertop griddle that this lady is
making these burgers off of.
Dude, she wanted to kill me.
I don't know what time it was.
We got there right at the time that they
stopped serving burgers.
It was probably, fuck, was it like midnight at that point?
Yeah, it was at least midnight.
So we walk in there.
I walk out.
Yeah, let me get two burgers.
I walk out to the end.
I went to kind of like, some lady said
I could get some fire burgers here.
She just rolls her eyes.
I'm like, oh, shit.
Uh-oh.
I was like, I would really appreciate it
if I could get two of those.
She probably thought that you were
making a joke or something.
So the next 10 minutes, we went and sat in a booth.
We were like, did she actually know that we wanted them?
Like, are we really?
And then she came with them.
Because she rolled her eyes.
I was like, I don't think they're coming.
Yeah, the, uh.
Coming with a side of spit.
The exchange was not good.
Like, just the look on her face.
But goddamn, they were good.
Were they made with love?
Oh my god.
Literally best burger I've had in a while.
I thanked her profusely.
Oh god.
I literally, before we left, I was like, that burger was so
fucking.
And it wasn't even because we were drunk.
Like, it was like charbroiled, ooey gooey melted cheese,
toasted bun.
Oh.
She brought the heat.
And it was fucking extreme.
So yeah, and then after we went there,
we went back to the hotel and we went to bed.
But the next morning, there was a diner on the same corner
as our hotel.
So we weren't there for breakfast.
And it was fire.
Oh my god.
I had like a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant.
And it was like the size of my fucking head.
It was delicious.
What I liked about it was all the employees,
since it was the night after quote unquote Halloween.
It was Halloween weekend.
I think that was actually Halloween day though,
wasn't it?
Oh no, that was on a Tuesday or something.
It was the 29th.
Yeah.
But anyway, they were all wearing fucking Halloween
costumes.
But they were all like.
Same theme.
Like diner food.
So like one was eggs, one was bacon, one was pancakes,
one was toast.
Oh my god, it was funny.
But it was like the Gumby.
Like all the same, like the Styrofoam kind of like.
Yeah, you have to wear it with your head sticking out
of a hole.
Yeah.
Fucking ridiculous.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
The girl.
Ours didn't have it.
She was the only one who didn't have it.
Everyone else was.
She was like, I'm too old for this shit.
Yeah, she was.
She probably owns the place.
She got grandfathered.
She probably owns the place.
Yeah, she was like, I'm not wearing that shit.
All the younger ones were walking around like Gumby
in that bitch.
And she was stupid.
Dude, imagine how hot it would be.
Like when I was a server, I sweat my ass off.
What's funny is some of them probably
went out the night before in it.
Yeah, we're just still drunk.
Didn't you get, what'd you get, corned beef hash?
I don't remember, but it was fire.
I think you got the corned beef hash.
I probably did.
I'm a fucking.
You like corned beef.
Scottish fuck.
Oh, that reminds me of the Polish dish that we made.
Haluski.
Yeah.
It's haluski.
It's what it's called.
I never remember the name.
But we were watching Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives
because I absolutely fucking loved that show.
Guy Fieri, hey, come on my podcast.
I love you.
I'm basically famous now, talk to warheads.
I'm just kidding.
Don't talk to warheads.
I don't know who I am because they won't listen to me.
Guy Fieri looks like the dude on the warheads package.
You're right.
Oh my god.
That's funny.
That's hilarious.
So yeah, haluski.
It's egg noodles, cabbage, and bacon cooked in butter.
And onions.
And onions, yes.
Oh my god.
And it's cooked in butter.
And it is so fucking good.
Pretty damn good.
Literally, I should have put more cabbage in it.
But other than that, it was delicious.
Yeah, I think it was in the Pittsburgh area
is where he was at.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forget the name of the place.
Is anybody in the Pennsylvania or Pittsburgh area?
Might be a staple.
I've never heard of it before that.
So it was pretty good.
Apparently, it was like one of their best selling items.
And I can see why because it's freaking tasty.
It's so white.
I know.
I mean, I seasoned my shit, so yeah.
What did we do after that?
Oh, I think we went to bed.
Well, no, we went after the diner.
We went home, but I mean like.
Oh, so it's cool shit?
Yeah.
You got some kind of.
Like the following weekend, I think, is when it was.
What's that?
We went and met up with one of my friends
because it was her birthday, her 33rd birthday.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
I didn't realize she was the same age as you.
Literally same age.
Yeah.
OK, that's cool.
It was so much fun.
We got lit.
Yeah, so I'm a little bit older.
Like I'm going to be turning 40 here pretty soon.
And even then, I was shocked at the amount of shots
that those people were.
I don't even know how many shots we took.
They were actually like they were 23.
Dude.
Stupid.
It was stupid.
I was so hungover that day.
And Rachel, oh my god, my friend got so drunk.
She was the best.
We did karaoke.
She hung in for as long as she could.
And then her boyfriend was like, all right,
I got to get her home.
And then from what I heard, it was a very interesting car
ride home.
It was like his fault, though.
He kept bringing shots.
Him and his brother.
I know.
And they were like, shot, shot, shot.
What are you guys doing over here?
Turning up.
I don't know.
And then we went and met up with them the next day,
all hungover for some hair of the dog.
You guys played some pool.
And we had a couple drinks.
Yeah.
I whipped some ass.
Yeah, he's really good at pool.
I'm not that good at pool.
Well, apparently you are, because you
beat everybody you play.
I'm not that good at pool.
She's exaggerating.
I'm terrible at pool.
It was good.
It made me feel good, because I am a guy,
and we are competitive.
Stroke the ego.
Yeah.
I was just like, ugh, still got it.
So.
No, that was good, though, because since we've
moved over here to Des Moines.
You haven't really had any guy camaraderie.
No, I haven't.
I've got my homies.
I have work guys.
But it's not the same.
You can't chill and talk shit with them,
because you can't trust them.
I don't trust people I work with.
There's a couple people that are snakes in the grass.
But you figure it out.
You avoid them.
But as far as on the weekends, hanging out
with some dudes on the weekends, I don't get much of that.
So that was cool, shooting pool with guys.
That's always cool.
Yeah, we got to do that again.
Yeah, I used to do a lot of that.
Yeah, your dad and your brother.
Yeah, but I mean, just hanging out with guys.
But there's been some guys that I've hung out with a lot.
But it's like, why did I do that?
Yeah.
Well, the funny thing is, when I had first
started hanging out with her, I had told you her boyfriend
plays Dungeons and Dragons.
And in our era, when we grew up, if you played Dungeons
and Dragons, you were a fucking loser.
I'm sorry.
I judged him on that.
And yeah, because that was his first assumption,
that he would be like this, do your voice,
your raging nerd voice.
Wait, what?
Do your voice.
Oh, man, so much pressure.
Oh, it's funny.
I don't even know.
If I even knew a reference about Dungeons and Dragons,
I would do it.
But I don't even know a reference.
So yeah, anyways, he ended up being really fucking cool.
And him and Drew have connected.
And they're basically best friends now.
I'm just kidding, I know.
But you guys have gotten along, for sure.
Yeah, we get along.
I'll admit, I thought he was going to weigh
like at least 100 pounds more.
Oh my god, because he plays Dungeons and Dragons.
I was like, oh, he's going to be like 300.
He's an electrician.
He's a big guy.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
He's still a pretty big guy.
He's like a very stocky dude.
Yeah, he is.
I'd like to have him on my site and fight.
I wouldn't see him without his hat on.
That's my dude.
I bet he's bald on top.
That's what I want to know.
Most people that wear hats are bald on top.
That's a shallow thing.
I feel bad.
You really like to point out male pattern baldness.
Every time you see a bald dude, you
go, male pattern baldness.
I am an asshole.
How come you can say that, but I can't?
You can say it.
You get mad any time I say it.
About what?
Who?
You're like, don't call me an asshole.
I'm not an asshole.
Oh.
I mean, I mean in general.
Like, you're my girlfriend.
You can't say that.
I can, because I really know if you're an asshole.
No, you're supposed to know the real me.
You're like, he's not an asshole.
That's literally what I just said.
I really know the you.
He's a sweet guy.
Yeah, you're a sweet guy who can also be an asshole sometimes.
Just like me, I'm an awesome girl who can also be a bitch.
I want the person who's 10 yards away
to be like, that's a dickhead right there.
I want my girlfriend to say that.
Someone outside the car.
The person in the car would be like, I don't think so.
The call is coming from inside the house.
I don't want that.
Oh my fucking god.
Outside the house.
Don't call me on my shit.
That's how we're supposed to help each other grow.
I don't know.
I don't want to know.
Fuck that.
Have my back.
Oh my god.
My freaking abs hurt from laughing so much.
It's good.
We're getting a workout.
I know.
In a podcast.
Hey, two birds, one stone.
All right, we're going to do 12 crunches now.
That's the sound of him doing a run.
Ha ha ha ha.
Uh, uh, uh.
Sound like you're trying to get a cookie off the top shelf
but you can't fucking reach.
Uh, uh.
Ha ha ha.
I have dwarf energy to it.
I'm sorry.
Can you call them that?
What are you fucking?
I thought they were little people now.
What the fuck are you supposed to?
Oh, that's right.
You can't say the M word.
God, Drew.
Can't say the M word.
Cancelled.
Can't say the M word anymore.
Are you saying M?
Is it Pan or Pam?
Ha ha ha ha.
Just shut up.
Don't answer that.
Ha ha ha.
Pan.
Pan was a short guy, right?
Oh my god.
Anyway.
You know who Pan is.
No?
Like Peter Pan?
Yeah.
That's not what you meant, is it?
Yeah.
You know who Pan is.
I don't know what you're talking about.
The Greek.
Alright, never mind.
Oh, yeah, anyway.
Alright, so we've been working on a lot of things.
We have?
Yeah.
Tell them about all the things we've been working on, Taylor.
Uh.
Alright, I'll start.
She's gonna get a Warheads tattoo.
Oh yeah!
And I want my sweet tea tattoo.
Oh, I know someone who can do that.
I know someone who can do that.
I know some cool shit that I'm gonna go do.
Here we go.
See?
I'm gonna go see Doja Cat in Omaha in December with my step-sister, Tara.
She's going back to Omaha.
Back to my stomping grounds.
It's gonna be fucking BOOT, and then after the day after the concert, we're gonna go
to a tattoo shop.
We already called a place and make sure they do walk-ins and we're gonna get matching lily
sigil tattoos.
Damn.
Ewww.
It's actually gonna be her seal.
what we're getting tattooed.
The seal.
Yeah, I think I might do it right here.
Perfect.
I'm pointing to the inside of my left wrist,
by the way, guys.
Exactly.
Hey, I'm just gonna sit on the back of your hand.
Thank God.
I'll get it on my forehead, actually.
I'm fucking doing it.
I thought about maybe doing it behind my ear,
but I don't wanna do that.
These women out here, these white women and their tattoos.
Why does it gotta be white?
Cause that's, you guys are out of control.
He calls us Stevie Nicks, bitches.
Oh shit, that's true.
You do call us that.
That's, I do.
You have it written down on the whiteboard.
You guys are a special breed.
We are.
I love you.
I'm not an astrology girl, at least.
Just be thankful for that.
You're in the fucking realm.
You're in the wheelhouse.
I don't read your fucking birth chart
and call you out for things that you do
because of where you were born and shit.
What do you mean?
Like the crazy astrology girls.
Oh, but you just do.
I don't know how to do it, that's why I don't.
You do everything else.
What do you mean?
Like the Tarot and all that.
Tarot.
Am I pronouncing it?
Lady Gaga.
Am I pronouncing it correctly?
Tarot.
You do Tarot.
You put the emphasis on the wrong syllable.
All right.
Anyway, Stevie Nicks.
Anywho.
No, that's cool though.
I'm excited for you and the concert.
Yeah, I'm fucking stoked, dude.
Before that though, we got Thanksgiving coming up.
I know, so this is gonna be the first holiday
that Drew and I spend, just me and him.
I'm scared.
He's not going home.
I'm not going home.
No one's coming here.
I'm gonna make us a delicious feast.
Sounds so terrifying.
I know, I'm gonna make Drew for dinner.
You can't leave on a week.
No one can get in here.
Oh my God.
Sounds terrifying to me.
If you don't hear from Drew, I don't know what happened.
In 15 years, there's gonna be a true crime documentary
about us.
I'm under the basement.
We don't have a basement.
I'm under the basement.
He's so sure.
Did a psychic tell you
you were gonna be buried in a basement?
Yeah, I had a dream last night.
Oh, let's get on that.
It's like, Taylor and your fucking dreams.
Dream Drew is a fucking dick.
All right, I know there's not a single man
listening to this podcast.
How do you know that?
Oh God.
All right.
I'm not gonna amend it.
There's no man listening to this.
Hey, I have men followers, thank you very much.
I'm sorry to all of the men that listen to this.
My douchebag boyfriend doesn't respect you.
Well, if there is, I hope you guys can appreciate
what I'm about to say,
which is you are not guilty
for what the dream version of you does.
All right?
Don't let them play you like that.
I've never once gotten mad at you.
I just get sad because of what Dream Drew does.
Yeah, and then you tell me,
and it's like, what am I supposed to do?
Well, what do you want me to do?
Just mope around and have you not know why
and have you think that I'm mad at you for something?
Keep it inside, just like I do.
Just hold it inside.
I do that and then my hair falls out.
Trust me, I'm speaking from experience
and I don't wanna do that.
I'm medicated enough, isn't it?
I don't know, that's true.
I don't have those dreams, so like,
I don't think I've ever, I've never had a dream.
Yeah, Dream Drew likes to like break up with me
and then fuck other girls right in front of me and shit.
And like, he's really mean.
That's crazy.
But like, you are not that guy.
So like, it's so weird.
It doesn't make sense.
My subconscious really wants you to be an asshole.
It's not happening, I don't say.
Like, I don't have those dreams, so I can't,
I don't get, like, if I had one of those,
it would fuck me up.
The funny thing is, my mom has the same kinds of dreams
about my stepdad, so both Dream Drew and Dream Jimmy
are like friends because they're assholes
and they're both jerks and they both like
to cheat on their women.
Dude, wow.
Me and Jimmy are friends in real life, too.
You guys are best friends
and you would never cheat on your women.
No.
Literally never, like you would rather
take a bullet to the eye.
But that's, you guys, that's what's funny.
It's like a shared, what's the word I wanna say?
Shared suffering.
Psychopathy.
What's, what?
What's psychopathy?
Pause, I'm not sure.
Ah, you used a word that you didn't know.
Ah, what, you trying to impress people?
Now we have to look it up.
Hang on, I'm looking it up right now.
Psychopathy.
I know how to spell.
Psychopathy is a mental health condition
characterized by persistent antisocial behavior,
impaired empathy and remorse,
and bold disinhibited and egotistic traits.
Yeah, baby!
Different concepts of psychopathy
have been used throughout history
that are only partly overlapping
and may sometimes be contradictory.
Symptoms.
Literally you.
Boldness, superficial charm.
Those are the first two.
And then it goes into pathological lying,
lack of empathy, which is something
I've accused you of having.
Inclination to violence and psychological manipulation.
I have been recording this whole time, Drew.
He's rolling on the floor laughing right now.
Half of these words.
So Drew might need some psychological help.
Risk factors, family history,
parental neglect or abuse,
psychological manipulation of the affected child.
Did your dad fuck with your head, Drew?
He was in the military.
He fucked with your head, Drew.
He was in the military.
He gave you that government fuck.
Get the fuck out.
Get the fuck out of there.
Oh my God, treatments.
Very few accepted treatments.
I won't go to the therapist.
The use of psychotherapy is accepted,
though benefits are weak.
There is no cure for your fucked up-ness.
Were you supposed to be talking about you?
We got into you.
Damn.
Drew, you're a monster.
But I used the word correctly.
You did.
Okay, now say what you were gonna say.
You and your mom, I like both of you a lot.
But?
No, there's no but.
You guys are awesome and always have been to me
and other people.
What the fuck?
I don't remember what we were talking about.
I don't either.
Yeah, we got into this thing.
You were like, I don't wanna sound,
I don't wanna just go,
you said something about psychopathy
and then I was like, what's that mean?
We got to fucking rewind
because we got into me and I got totally distracted.
Well, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, you and your mom being totally cool
and me respecting you as women.
But.
I know there's a but.
I think we were talking about Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Thanksgiving, yeah.
Oh my God.
Yeah, we're back.
We're back people.
Oh Jesus.
What about it?
Oh yeah, that's the first time
we're gonna spend a holiday thing.
Together, yeah.
I'm gonna make a turkey.
I'm gonna make, oh, I forgot to get the stuff
for six cup salad.
I knew I forgot something.
The good thing is there's three more days until then.
So I'm sure we'll make it.
Oh yeah, I'm gonna make mashed potatoes.
I'm gonna make green beans.
I got rolls.
I'm gonna make ambrosia salad.
I'm gonna do a turkey.
I'm gonna make pumpkin pie.
And I am gonna watch her.
And he's gonna eat everything.
All of those things.
For God's sake, I was,
this is strange for me because I always.
He goes home.
Always go home. He's a good boy.
Yeah, this is like the first time I haven't been to things.
In like 20 years.
Close to it, yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, it's been a long time, but I've always made it home.
But at this point, I don't know.
I live so far away.
I've been driving back anyway for other shit,
like birthdays and all this stuff.
You've been doing a lot of driving.
I'm taking a break.
It's gonna feel good.
I was gonna do it.
Like you'll be guilty, but it's gonna feel good.
Yeah, it's all gonna be good.
Cause of the glory of FaceTime.
Yeah.
My parents are super old.
My dad's gonna be 84 this year coming up.
My mom will be 74.
But my mom has a smartphone and my brother's going.
So I'm gonna FaceTime him and all that stuff.
But yeah, that's the first time I've ever like
used FaceTime with my parents.
Like a family member.
You always see these commercials for Zoom and like FaceTime.
20 years of it.
It's the first time I'll ever use it.
So I don't know.
It'll be all right.
It'll be fun.
We can also FaceTime my parents.
Not my, not probably not my dad, but we can call my dad.
I don't think he does the FaceTime.
He doesn't, yeah.
He doesn't really like, he's very old fashioned.
He doesn't really like to text.
He doesn't really like to FaceTime.
He likes to call.
Yeah. Yeah.
So yeah, turkey dinner.
It's gonna be num num nums.
I'm gonna make two pumpkin pies.
One for me and.
One for you.
Me.
The good thing about having Thanksgiving at home
for once is not having to travel.
Well, yeah.
Cause I'm fucking sick of the driving.
I think I already mentioned that.
You did.
What?
The reason I'm bringing it up is because of the traveling.
We did this weekend and some of the insanity
that happened while we were driving.
Oh my God.
Yes.
I thought I was gonna get shot.
Dude, dude.
Okay.
So we're on our way from Des Moines to Omaha
and we're probably halfway there.
I don't know where exactly we are,
but like we're halfway between Omaha and Des Moines
and I'm in the right lane.
Semi is coming up.
I'm coming up to them.
So I'm like, you know what?
It's time to change lanes.
I look behind me.
I check my blind spot and everything
and there's no one there.
So I proceed to merge into the next lane.
As soon as I'm in the next lane,
all of a sudden there's a dude on my asshole.
So like, I don't know if he just like was going super fast
or if he like switched from behind the car
that was behind me.
I don't know, but all of a sudden he was on my ass.
So I pass the semi and I get over back into the right lane
and as he's driving by, he's flipping me off.
So I flip him off back.
Mind you, he's got a 13 year old son with him.
I'm guessing 13.
He looked about like maybe 13, 14 years old
in the passenger seat of the car with him.
So he speeds up, gets in front of me,
cuts in the fucking lane, like tries to cut me off and shit.
So I'm like, okay, well, I'll try to get around
and then so I get in the right lane, he cuts me off again.
So I get back over, I mean the left lane.
I get back over into the right lane
and he tries to cut me off again,
but there's an exit coming up.
So I just take the exit.
He went from the far left lane, cut off a truck
and went all the way to the far right lane
just to take this exit with me, ended up in front of me
and the exit ended up forking off.
There was one road that went to the left
and one road that went to the right.
So I stayed in the right turn lane.
He was in front of me, so he saw that I was gonna turn right
and he ended up going around the fork.
Once he went around that bend,
I went into the left lane and I went to the left
and we made sure he didn't follow us.
But like basically we lost him.
But he literally was trying to run me off the road and fight.
I maintain he was still late to soccer practice.
I think that's what was going on.
But like the fact that he did all of that
with his child in the car, what the fuck?
They got a soccer practice to get to.
I don't know.
God, it was insane.
It was insane.
Absolutely nuts.
I thought we were gonna get into a fist fight.
Yeah, he literally was like, all right.
Cause Tito was in his lap.
He's like, all right, get ready to hold the dog.
I thought he was gonna be throwing hands.
I should have been like, get your cell phone out.
I wasn't even thinking.
It was intense.
Like I was just trying not to get in a car accident
because he was like, fuck my car, fuck my kid.
I'm taking this bitch off the road.
He had a pretty cool car though.
He was driving a Mercedes.
It was like an E-Class.
It was black.
It was very expensive.
He's like a rich asshole.
Definitely a Republican little dick energy.
We should party with him.
No, no thank you.
He probably does fentanyl.
Yeah.
Anywho.
It was fun.
So yeah, Christmas is coming up.
Oh fuck, Christmas is coming.
Guys, wait, there's only none of you.
There are men here.
Get on your shit, fellas.
What are you gonna get me?
Don't be caught slipping.
What are you gonna get me?
A tattoo.
We already talked about it.
She's gonna let me tattoo her.
It's gonna be sick.
Woo!
I'm gonna do a live TikTok with it.
That would be so lit.
I know, but it's not, I was just kidding.
I know, but wouldn't it actually be lit?
Uh.
I would do it.
The licenses I would have to get to do that.
No, you wouldn't.
I've tattooed myself on TikTok at David's house.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
They're coming.
You just fucked.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Coming to get you now.
I'm gonna tattoo you in my own drunken tattoo.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then after Christmas is my birthday.
Oh boy.
Well, New Year's is before that.
But my birthday is more important than New Year's.
That's true, but New Year's is still pretty cool.
It is, but we don't have anybody to,
I guess we could celebrate with Rachel and her boyfriend.
We don't normally, here we don't have anybody.
That should show up at the bar.
That would be fun on New Year's.
Dude, because in Cedar Rapids,
I would always have, the past two years,
well not last year, but the year before,
two years before last year.
So like four years ago?
How many years ago is that?
Three or four years ago.
Oh, there we go.
Yeah, three and four years ago,
I would throw a New Year's party.
It wasn't anything huge.
Just some of my closest friends came over
and the last one that we did was like Met Gala themed.
So everybody dressed up in like these super cool dresses
and it was honestly a lot of fun.
It was a lot of fun.
I got hammered.
We all did, we got lit.
In your little.
And then there was a huge fucking snowstorm that night
and Patrick ordered an Uber the next morning
and they couldn't get up the hill.
So he had to walk down my giant driveway
in six inch stilettos in snow to get to his Uber.
Kiki just jumped onto Drew's shoulders.
She likes me.
It's really cute.
I need to cut her nails.
Oh, she's rubbing all over him.
She's scratching the shit out of him.
She's having a good time.
Oh, she missed him.
New Year's up.
Twa, twa.
Whoever thought we were gonna make it to 2024?
God.
Whoever thought we'd make it this far?
12 years after the world was supposed to end.
I'm like, but 2023 was supposed to be the year it all ended.
Everybody was like, oh, this is it.
This is the year it all happens.
Next year is the year.
It feels like it.
Next year.
Dude, the world is crazy right now.
Got an election coming up.
All I am saying is the people in Palestine
deserve human rights.
Oh shit, don't even.
What do you mean don't even?
I'm not gonna use my privilege and just bury my nose
and not talk about it.
Sweet.
Like, it's a big deal
and people need to educate themselves.
Our government is lying to us and using our money
to fund a literal genocide and it's not okay.
Yeah.
That's been going on for a long time.
Let's get into the conspiracy theory shit.
Well, we got another what, 15, 20 minutes to fill, right?
I like how you just brush it off like it's nothing.
Like, we're literally lucky to be sitting here
in our living room recording this podcast,
drinking our beer, you know, loving our pet,
watching our TV with our internet and our power.
I agree.
And there are, I think, 40 patients
in the ICU that just died today
because they don't have power at the hospital
because they have been bombed.
Oh, over there.
Yeah, over there in the Palestine.
As fucked up as this is to say.
Oh God, don't say it.
The United States has been doing crazy shit
in foreign countries for a long time.
I'm aware of that, like what they're doing in Congo
and all that shit, yeah, I know, I get it.
Doesn't mean it's not like,
it doesn't mean you should just like accept it.
Like, it's a problem.
I understand.
So, I have a small platform
and I'm gonna use it to talk about it.
All right.
Yeah.
I agree.
Cool.
People in Palestine deserve human rights.
Let's talk, I agree, let's talk about it.
I just wanted to say that,
like if there's not a whole lot that I can do,
but I just want to express my feelings
and let them know that I don't support
what our government is doing
and I don't agree with what they're saying.
I don't even, are they fucking,
I don't even know what the government's saying.
They're like basically sucking Israel's dick.
Yeah, well.
And now that they're seeing
that half of America is pro-Palestine,
they're like, oh my God, we had no idea
Israel was doing these things
that we were giving them money for, oh my God.
It's just like too little, too late,
you can't backtrack now, motherfuckers.
I don't, I'm not educated enough to really say anything,
but I have noticed that there's been a lot of protests
and demonstrations across the country.
Around the entire world.
Yeah, that's crazy.
The biggest protest in history just took place.
I forget what country it is,
but there was like almost a million people.
Well, I saw it just today, so this is Sunday the 19th?
Yeah. Okay.
Like Chicago, and this probably happened yesterday,
like I'm a day behind the news cycle here,
but Chicago, DC, like lots of major cities
here in the United States.
So like, again, I don't know enough to say anything,
but yeah, to see kind of some people,
I don't wanna say come out of the woodwork,
but like this issue coming to the forefront
and other people coming to the forefront
to see how important it is
and how many people are affected by it is, it is kind of.
We need a ceasefire.
Yeah, I think they've agreed to a five day ceasefire.
A five day ceasefire is not a ceasefire, sorry.
I don't know, but it seems like a step forward.
I agree with that, but yeah, it's also like,
why did you wait this long?
Like, it's crazy.
And it's still like, that's just in Palestine.
What about all of the other countries
where the same, if not worse, things are happening?
Like Congo, for example,
just so we can use a fucking iPhone or drive a Tesla.
Yeah, yeah, we're a very privileged nation.
The other thing I like.
Oh God.
Sorry.
Is when we talk about all of this, I'm about to ask you,
what do you really want for Christmas?
Oh my God.
I like, I don't even care, to be honest.
I'm about ready to boycott Christmas
because I cannot bring myself to sit here
and think about something that I want
while I just saw a video that was so horrific
that I almost threw up
involving what's going on in Palestine.
I can't, like that's happening right now.
And you expect me to go fucking contribute to capitalism?
No, I'm not gonna make myself go broke
for people that I don't even fucking like.
Like half of them, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
I just really fucking hate where the world is
and I'm really disappointed in my country.
I shouldn't say that.
I'm really disappointed in my government.
Yeah, America is awesome.
The government.
Politicians suck.
Viva la revolution.
Yeah.
Anyway, we should not end on a sad note.
Let's talk about something else for 10 minutes.
Well, what should I do for my birthday?
Yeah, that's a good one.
My birthday's in January.
Taylor's next.
It's my 33rd birthday and according to numerology,
on either my 33rd or my 36th birthday,
something like life-changing is supposed to happen to me.
I hope it's this birthday.
That would be pretty sick.
And with everything going on with this warhead shit.
Where do you want to be on your birthday?
It's like, that's the one thing I think about.
Unrealistically, I would love to go to Vegas
for my birthday.
I know that's not realistic.
Like I know that's not gonna happen.
I cannot afford it.
I know you probably can't afford it.
Like that's so short notice.
Did you say I can't afford it?
I said probably.
I didn't say definitively.
I said you probably,
can you afford a trip to Vegas right now?
Yeah.
I just had to spend $250 on a dog to sleep in a hotel room.
Big baller in our king suite.
It was my fault though.
I was so salty.
Let's talk about, hold on.
Let me talk about something.
When we went to Dubuque,
we stayed at the same hotel chain
that we stayed at in Omaha.
That's all I'll say.
And I'll let you say the rest.
Yeah, no, it was my bad.
So, you know, I book a lot of hotel rooms.
He travels a lot.
Because of work and stuff,
but also our personal life.
And maybe I should blame your mom.
So we had this trip to Omaha.
Yeah, we stayed at the same hotel with the zoom.
And she sent me like,
this is where we're gonna stay.
Cause she travels a lot for her work.
And like we're-
They both had points.
We're IHG members and yada yada.
But so she sent me the link and I looked at it
and I apparently didn't pay attention to the fact that-
It doesn't allow pets.
Dogs are not allowed unless they're service animals.
And Tito is not a service animal.
So it's a $250 fee.
Well, I didn't know that.
The last time we stayed at one of these hotels,
it was $40.
Yeah, $40 fee.
That was it.
But it was a different state.
So-
Yeah, we went to check in and I was like,
oh yeah, by the way, I got a dog.
And he just looks at me like,
oh, we don't allow dogs.
And I had a moment of panic.
You should have just not said anything.
I know.
I didn't know that though.
Like we might've gotten away with it.
Cause he didn't even bark.
No, he's a good boy.
He's a good boy.
He's so much better at hotels than he is at home.
When he's at home, he's a fucking asshole.
Cause he's terrified.
He's shaking the whole time.
That's, yeah, it's a new place.
Yeah.
So anyway, yeah, I was like, fuck.
So I had to just eat that $250 charge,
but it was worth it.
So you can afford a trip to Vegas for my birthday?
Is that where the story was going?
That's where you started talking about that.
That's why you started talking about it.
Cause I asked if you could afford a trip to Vegas
and you're like, yeah, I could just afford $250 for our dog.
I can afford a trip to Vegas.
But you do realize the trip to Vegas
is more than $250, right?
Trust me.
I know we've been to Vegas before.
It was fun, but it was a shit show.
Because it was during like when like COVID
was still kind of relevant.
So like our flights, the flights were fucked up.
Yeah. The airports were fucked.
Once we got there, it was fun.
Amazing.
Yeah. Once we got there.
And then we had to go home and our flight got canceled.
Yeah. Oh no. Yeah.
We all the flight there got fucking delayed.
The flight home got canceled.
Canceled then delayed.
And then delayed. Yeah.
That was a mindfuck.
Cause everybody was either getting fired
for not being vaccinated or going on strike
for not wanting to be vaccinated or whatever the fuck.
It was insane.
So yeah, my birthday.
I don't know what I want.
I really, it sucks.
Every year I get so excited for my birthday
and I just want to go all out and do this huge party.
But like, no one ever cares.
No one ever gives a fuck.
It's like, oh, it's your birthday. Cool.
I'll be like, yeah, I'm gonna have a party.
They'll be like, oh yeah, when?
And then they'll be like, yeah, I guess I'll come.
And then they'll call me the day up and be like,
yeah, sorry, I'm not gonna make it.
I don't know.
I do empathize with you even though you don't care.
Like that's why I go all out for your birthday
because like nobody's ever done that for me
and I like making you feel special.
Nobody's ever done it for me either.
That's why I like to do it.
Yeah.
I mean, giving a fuck about your birthday.
I mean, I don't know who's listening,
but I'm impressed with how much you still care
about your birthday.
Yeah. I wish I still felt that way.
I love my birthday.
I hate that it's in the winter,
but I love celebrating my birthday.
I guess I've become, I've had so many,
maybe it's because I've had so many of your experiences
that like my birthday doesn't mean shit to me anymore.
Like I'm just like, eh, it's another day.
I don't wanna get to that point.
I don't, I always wanna like celebrating my birthday.
Yeah.
This birthday for me, this last one, this year.
It's 40, the big four zero coming up.
It's coming up, but this year
was the first time I've ever taken my birthday off of work.
And we had a great fucking time.
Yeah, we had a great weekend.
That was awesome, yeah.
Went to the Charity Hotel in downtown Des Moines.
We absolutely loved that place.
They have an amazing restaurant.
Oh God, maybe we'll go there for my birthday.
I don't know.
It's usually a good time.
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe do something in Omaha again.
I don't know.
We went to Omaha for my birthday,
this last one, to go see my dad.
Walked around the old market.
Went to Spaghetti Works.
It was good.
Yeah, I don't know.
Anytime I think about what I wanna do for my birthday,
I just get depressed because nobody's gonna wanna celebrate
it except for like you,
which I'm not saying that's a bad thing.
I just like wish there were more people that cared, you know?
I don't even care about my birthday.
My 40th birthday is coming up.
I gotta figure out what the fuck I'm gonna do.
Well, you wanna go to Burlington.
We already know that much.
I don't know.
I kinda do though.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Let's go skiing.
I've never been skiing.
Let's go to Dubuque.
Let's go ski.
Oh my God.
That little snow bunny.
Can I get one of the really cute like puppy ones?
Let's go to Chalet.
Let's get a hot tub in the room.
Ooh, one of those like rooms
where you can like ski out of it.
Yeah, I like that.
Let's go to Vale, honey.
I was gonna say, like Dubuque, Iowa, I don't know.
Maybe Man-Made Ski Room.
Sleepy Hollow in Des Moines,
they do like man-made like fake snow in Chalet.
Yeah, they got fake snow in Dubuque.
I don't know about the whole Chalet thing.
Probably not.
We could go back to Colorado.
I've been telling you,
I wanna do another Colorado trip.
Probably not for, like I said,
I'm not gonna be able to afford
a huge trip for my birthday.
Oh, you never know.
Warhead money might come in.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Maybe we can go to Jamaica for my birthday.
I'm gonna go to Jamaica for my birthday.
Are you sick?
That would be awesome.
I don't know.
We'll think about it.
Go to my TikTok and comment what I should do
for my birthday and tag Warheads in a comment on my post.
Oh goodness.
So yeah, I don't really have anything else to talk about.
Can you think of anything?
Global warming.
We're not gonna talk about that now.
We've already discussed one crisis at the moment.
Genocide is enough for one episode.
That's true.
That was pretty heavy.
Yeah, but it's something that people need to hear.
Anyways, thanks for listening.
I'm back, Taylor Talking podcast.
Woot woot woot.
Follow me on TikTok.
Go to taylortalking.com.
Go buy some Warheads.
Woo, Warheads.
All right guys, thanks so much for listening
and I'll see you next time.
Okay, bye.