WEBVTT

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Just like you, I know that this investment pays

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way more. It has much bigger ROI than me talking

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to my team in this moment. Me investing one hour

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into pleasure and showing up so confidently throughout

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the day, making decisions with much more clarity

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in my mind because I've had pleasure for the

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day is significantly better for business and

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for growth and for and for money. You are listening

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to the Feminine Power Podcast, your portal into

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embodiment, feminine awakening, and the true

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power of your life force, sexual energy. I'm

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your host, Mariya Grinina, founder of Feel, a

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global platform for feminine embodiment and a

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coach for women ready to live with magnetism,

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love, and full aliveness. If you're ready to

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rise, you're in the right place. Follow the show

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and let's begin. Today's episode might make you

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rethink productivity and ways of getting motivation,

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inspiration and more energy. Because my guest

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doesn't even drink coffee. Neither does she overload

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on some extra special trendy supplements. And

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she is going full force after her dreams, launching

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and running multiple businesses, writing a book

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and runs a community of over 5 million people

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on social media. She is also a tenured professor,

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award -winning researcher and a daily expert

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on the UK's hit reality show Celebs Go Dating.

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She sources her energy from daily orgasms and

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a lot of pleasure in small and big things. She

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nourishes her feminine energy by being a truly

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supportive sister to other women and by intentionally

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practicing sensuality. Keep listening to this

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conversation with Dr. Tara if you want to learn

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why pleasure is the ultimate source of power,

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what investing in our bodies and orgasms does

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for our businesses and creativity, and how to

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build a personal brand, hire the right team,

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and love and embrace money as a woman. When we

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recorded this podcast, Dr. Tara was just back

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from orgasmic hypnosis training by David Marius,

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one of the teachers you might have met inside

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our course Feminine Power Blueprint. So I asked

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her how was it? My weekend was multi -orgasmic.

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I joined David's orgasmic hypnosis workshop.

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It was really really interesting. I was a bit

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shocked how simple it is because before I went

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into the retreat, I didn't know much about hypnosis

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or hypnotherapy. I've done it before as a participant.

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I've done hypnotherapy for food or for other

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things, but I just thought it would be very,

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very complex. But the way David taught it, it

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was not that complex at all. The first day, it

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was a lot of theory, but then there was also

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some practice, and I was able to practice with

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his partner, Maia, and she made me come really

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hard. My face, numb. Yeah, my face was numb because

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it was coming so hard and she didn't even touch

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me. Then the next day was practicum. So it was

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a lot of practicing and on each other. And I

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apparently got really good because David was

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like observing me doing it on two different women

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and both of them came multiple times. From my

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hypnosis. What a weekend. That's not the usual

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answer to a question. How was your weekend? I

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feel like all my weekends are not the usual answer

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though, babe, to be honest. I try to keep it

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that way. And then on Monday, before I left Ibiza,

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I was able to go in for a Shibari session. Are

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you a fan of Shibari? I do host some amazing

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workshops regularly. I love it. So you're the

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Shibari master, like you're the practice. No,

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not at all. I am the one who holds space and

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enjoys it a lot. I set a tantric container and

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then I work with Marie Savas. I was one of the

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best in the world and we do stuff together. Yeah.

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It's incredible. I have done a lot of sort of

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BDSM and bondage, especially in LA. But this

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was my first full Shibari session with a very

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sensual and soft dom. My David's partner, I think

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she goes by Catharsis. So yeah, I have not experienced

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a lot of sensual, soft doms. And I actually really

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love it because she presents very feminine and

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soft, but when she talks to me in my ears, I'm

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like, yes, mistress. I'll do whatever you want

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me to do. She's like, she has a French accent.

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Oh my God. Yeah. She told me to surrender. I

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surrendered for sure. And you know, the most

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shocking part about this whole Shibari experience

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was when I came out of it, I cried hysterically

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and I rarely cry. I was so emotional and I cried

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just happy tears. I cried a lot. I record all

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of it on camera just like to remember how it

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felt like the very first time I did it and I

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can't wait to do it again. It's so intimate.

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It's one of my favorite practices and I love

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that you mentioned this soft dumb experience

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because Domination for me, I know we look at

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BDSM and domination is something that must be

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necessarily dark and degrading. But very often,

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and for me, for example, I love BDSM experiences,

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but I hate humiliation. I need to be spoken to

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as to a queen or someone beautiful and special.

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I don't like someone telling me I'm shit and

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I'm a slut. Like that's not me. I don't love

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that. But at the same time, I love to be dominated.

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I love to be told what to do and I love to serve

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and it's another side and very often it's about

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surrender really because as you say, you cried

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after your experience and that often can happen

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because your body actually released so much in

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the experience of full softening in the rope.

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So much, so much. For the time that I was tied

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up, and the inability to move any part of my

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body, because my whole body was tied up and I

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was suspended. You really just couldn't do anything

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except just, yeah, just say yes. For me, as someone

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that has a lot of control in my life and managing

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a lot of people and business, it's really nice

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to be on autopilot and just do nothing for a

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change. Yeah, I feel very taken care of by her

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energy because she's, she presents soft, but

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she's very commanding. And God, that accent,

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like the French accent gets, it's so, so hot.

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I'm so turned on by certain accents and some

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accents are just really, really hot. A year and

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a half ago, they did a BDSM workshop at our event

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as a couple. That was amazing. The whole room

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was grooving. They were teaching electric shock.

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Oh, like cattle prod. Yeah, yeah. In the group

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setting, that was fun. So that was fascinating.

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Wow. We should come to our events. I will. When

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is the next one? I'm over there. Yeah, next one

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is October, except I know you have a book launch

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and stuff, but there will be more. Yeah, I'm

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so fascinated because you have created such a

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beautiful, open -minded community. And that's

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so hard to find, especially when we live in a

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very rigid, masculine world. I think you've created

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such a beautiful space and really just all the

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praises for you. Good job. Good girl. Good girl.

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Yes. You're doing so well. You're such a good

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girl. Oh, thank you. I love that we're starting

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this podcast with this deviation into the power

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dynamics and your memorable experience from this

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weekend. Actually, I want to talk about business

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and how you as a woman are being so brave and

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being so unapologetic and really going for it

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and building and creating and being successful.

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So I want to know. how and what is your secret

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and also now being the fact that you're in a

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sexual wellness industry and there is so much

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stigma and I'm sure like so much to work through

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and being the face and being out there. It does

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take a lot of courage and also most people would

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really struggle with that. So I want to learn

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from you how you overcome these struggles and

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also all the nitty gritties around building a

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business these days, especially digitally, especially

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when it comes to your personal brand. Now, as

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we, after this spicy talk, can you tell me a

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little more about who you are, especially for

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those who don't know? So hi everybody. My name

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is Dr. Tara and I am... a sex and relationship

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expert. I wear four hats. First, I am a 10 -year

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professor of human sexuality at Cal State University.

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I teach a few hundred students every semester

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how to understand their sexuality better, how

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to become more tolerant towards non -traditional

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sexual practices and attitudes, and I help them

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just become better lovers and better people.

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So that's my first hat. My second hat is a social

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media influencer. I have a really big community

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online called Lovebites, where I have cultivated

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over 2 .5 million people to really just get together

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and enjoy sex positivity through media. And that

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can be from either like TikTok, Instagram, but

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also my newsletter, my blogs. And that part generates

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the most money in which we can go into later

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because I know I'm very transparent with finances,

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especially for other women in the industry. I

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want everyone to make a fuck ton of money and

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become successful. There's space for everybody.

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So we'll talk about that. Third is I'm a media

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personality. I am a sex expert. This is my third

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season of the TV show called Celebsko Dating

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in the UK. I have done a lot of TV in LA in terms

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of like morning shows and news segments on KTLA,

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ABC News, Fox. And usually I just give intimacy

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advice. Within the media realm, I also have a

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radio show called Love Line, which is a really

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huge, iconic radio show from the 90s that was

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brought back by me and Kevin Kenny, who's also

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a TV host on MTV. And I write my own column for

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women's health magazine called Sixth Floor with

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Dr. Tara. Okay, my fourth hat is which is really

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like it encompasses all these hats. My fourth

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hat is an entrepreneur. I am an entrepreneur

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and I have various businesses. I have my books.

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I have my investments. I invest in a few different

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female -owned companies. I invest in, of course,

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my business. I have a big team. because you gotta,

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you gotta spend money to make money. And I'm

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gonna have my, my book is coming out in October.

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It's called, How Do You Like It? How to, a guide

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to getting what you want in bed. And my loop

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line is coming out this holiday season. It's

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called Drip by Dr. Tara. So yeah. That's me.

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I hope none of you are sleeping. I hope that

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was engaging, but I just do. I do many different

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things because I enjoy it. I get bored easily.

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I'm a Sagittarius rising. I need to have different

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things going on. Oh, that's amazing. And what

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is the coolest part here is that you are thriving.

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You look great. You are in your beautiful, sexy,

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feminine totally. And the bravery and the drive

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is really inspiring because for most people out

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there, it's like, oh, to succeed, I have to do

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so many things and I have to sacrifice things.

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Of course we do the sacrifices and everything,

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but you have this energy of really doing it from

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love and from drive and from inspiration. So,

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what's the secret? Orgasms? I know that for sure.

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I am powered by orgasms. I really am. Because

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first off, I don't drink caffeine. People are

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like, you feel like an energizer bunny. Do you

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just pound coffee and Red Bull? I actually don't

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consume any caffeine. So my energy is 100 % organic

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and natural from my body, from the chemicals

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that I produce in my body. And I make sure I

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take care of my body. I do, you know, breath

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work. I try to like exercise. But a lot of it

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is really from pleasure and finding pleasure

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in like little things in life too, not just sexual

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pleasure, but of course a lot of sexual pleasure.

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And that's a real answer. It's hard for people

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to grasp if they haven't consistently have orgasms

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for this long for my life, in my life. But when

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you really start having a route, like not a routine

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per se, but a prioritization of pleasure in your

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life, you realize like a lot of energy just comes

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from your body because you know all the natural

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chemicals. I get dopamine, right? oxytocin, serotonin,

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all of that chemicals from just... my own body.

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And this makes such a perfect sense from health

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perspective, from spiritual perspective, sexual

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energy is a creative energy. That's how you get

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more creative, how you build more vitality. But

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also from the chemical perspective and hormonal

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perspective, know how most people seek relaxation

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or any sort of dopamine hits from usually unhealthy

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sources. The stigma out there is more around

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women who love sex and not around most people

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who like to find unhealthy sources just to feel

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okay. And that's... 100 % because you get dopamine

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from alcohol, right? You get dopamine because

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these are instant gratifications. So you get

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dopamine from alcohol, you get dopamine from

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junk food, overeating and drugs. And for some

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people, sort of toxic relationship, right? You

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get dopamine from the push and pull of toxic

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relationship. So yeah, I think living a healthy

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life means different things for different people.

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But for me, it's prioritizing pleasure. That's

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amazing. And how do you do that? In so many ways.

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I mean, the most obvious way is having great

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sex, but that doesn't come easy. It doesn't come

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easy. You have to be really in tune with your

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body. Which I help a lot of women become more

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in tune with their bodies. You do too. Why don't

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you talk to me about your processes of helping

00:16:24.210 --> 00:16:28.029
women become more sexual and build agency for

00:16:28.029 --> 00:16:29.809
their own sexuality? Because that's what you

00:16:29.809 --> 00:16:34.769
do. You know that it is the most natural thing

00:16:34.769 --> 00:16:37.809
for us people and especially for women to feel

00:16:37.809 --> 00:16:42.309
pleasure. When we are healthy and our baseline

00:16:42.309 --> 00:16:45.250
is healthy and our nervous system feels safe,

00:16:45.889 --> 00:16:48.529
pleasure and ecstasy are the most natural things

00:16:48.529 --> 00:16:52.289
for us to feel and therefore it's so much more

00:16:52.289 --> 00:16:56.279
about releasing and letting go of toxic things

00:16:56.279 --> 00:16:59.379
and negative things, negative patterns, rather

00:16:59.379 --> 00:17:02.379
than trying to go and get something. Because

00:17:02.379 --> 00:17:06.160
pleasure is already there. It is that we are

00:17:06.160 --> 00:17:10.259
so stressed, so focused on other things, so full

00:17:10.259 --> 00:17:14.359
of crap very often. And we need to release and

00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:16.500
let go of these things before we can start feeling

00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:19.240
that natural pleasure. And that's why the path

00:17:19.240 --> 00:17:23.089
to pleasure very often first involves changing

00:17:23.089 --> 00:17:26.329
the lifestyle and changing how we live and how

00:17:26.329 --> 00:17:28.730
we speak to ourselves and creating the safety

00:17:28.730 --> 00:17:31.569
in the nervous system. And then that can be done

00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:34.509
through a pleasure practice. Really the first

00:17:34.509 --> 00:17:38.509
and foremost that that actual thing we can do

00:17:38.509 --> 00:17:41.049
apart from creating a healthy lifestyle that

00:17:41.049 --> 00:17:43.450
allows our nervous system to be safe is to start

00:17:43.450 --> 00:17:46.029
practicing pleasure. Just as you say. Of course,

00:17:46.069 --> 00:17:49.049
finding it in small things, slowing down, starting

00:17:49.049 --> 00:17:52.250
to notice how food tastes. Food is a big part

00:17:52.250 --> 00:17:54.930
of it. That's where we can get our healthy pleasure.

00:17:55.329 --> 00:17:57.890
Then learning to touch ourselves and actually

00:17:57.890 --> 00:18:01.630
slowing down and doing it not like in porn. or

00:18:01.630 --> 00:18:04.630
starting to masturbate or having self pleasure

00:18:04.630 --> 00:18:07.450
without any external stimulation, but actually

00:18:07.450 --> 00:18:10.910
being with our own bodies and learning to breathe,

00:18:11.450 --> 00:18:14.609
learning to see and feel how our skin feels with

00:18:14.609 --> 00:18:16.789
different kind of touch and learning to spend

00:18:16.789 --> 00:18:19.390
time and invest in time. And one interesting

00:18:19.390 --> 00:18:22.089
thing here is that Most people learn to self

00:18:22.089 --> 00:18:25.509
-pleasure or have an orgasm as children early.

00:18:26.009 --> 00:18:28.650
And we have mostly one way. So like there is

00:18:28.650 --> 00:18:32.289
this rub of clitoris quickly before parents notice.

00:18:32.809 --> 00:18:35.289
And it's always this kind of external and really

00:18:35.289 --> 00:18:38.309
focused down there. But rarely do we learn a

00:18:38.309 --> 00:18:41.410
different way where it's about us giving us half

00:18:41.410 --> 00:18:45.920
an hour or... an hour of massaging the skin,

00:18:46.420 --> 00:18:50.220
breathing into our yonis, moving, dancing, caressing

00:18:50.220 --> 00:18:53.019
ourselves in different ways outside, inside,

00:18:53.660 --> 00:18:56.019
and allowing ourselves to reach orgasm from a

00:18:56.019 --> 00:18:58.420
place of pure surrender and relaxation, which

00:18:58.420 --> 00:19:00.839
is much deeper. It's very rare that people do

00:19:00.839 --> 00:19:04.450
that. But the point there is If you invest the

00:19:04.450 --> 00:19:07.710
same amount of time as into this kind of deeper

00:19:07.710 --> 00:19:10.769
pleasure, as you did into learning how to rub

00:19:10.769 --> 00:19:13.170
your clitoris to come quickly, you will learn

00:19:13.170 --> 00:19:15.869
that too. It's just about the time investment.

00:19:16.849 --> 00:19:20.250
Oh, I love that. Yeah. You're like, oh, I can't

00:19:20.250 --> 00:19:24.130
come from my internal stimulation or I cannot

00:19:24.130 --> 00:19:27.609
have a deeper orgasm. But I'm like, well, have

00:19:27.609 --> 00:19:32.359
you tried investing about like at least 30 %

00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:36.400
of time into practicing that as you did into

00:19:36.400 --> 00:19:40.680
practice the other way. You know, I can tell

00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:44.000
that you're so business oriented because you

00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:48.220
talk about pleasure as investment. And I'm there

00:19:48.220 --> 00:19:50.980
with you. I'm there with you because I love talking

00:19:50.980 --> 00:19:54.460
about business and it is investment. It's investment.

00:19:55.000 --> 00:19:57.579
Yeah, it is. Definitely like you lose opportunity

00:19:57.579 --> 00:20:01.359
costs, right? Because when you are having pleasure

00:20:01.359 --> 00:20:03.059
and you're focusing on that and you're spending

00:20:03.059 --> 00:20:05.599
time on that, you're not doing these other things,

00:20:05.700 --> 00:20:07.279
right? Maybe you're not trading stocks. Maybe

00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:12.779
you're not meeting your team. But just like you,

00:20:13.019 --> 00:20:17.279
I know that this investment pays way more. It

00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:21.559
has much bigger ROI than me. talking to my team

00:20:21.559 --> 00:20:24.579
in this moment. Me investing one hour into pleasure

00:20:24.579 --> 00:20:27.319
and showing up so confidently throughout the

00:20:27.319 --> 00:20:29.819
day, making decisions with much more clarity

00:20:29.819 --> 00:20:32.299
in my mind because I've had pleasure for the

00:20:32.299 --> 00:20:36.079
day is significantly better for business and

00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:42.339
for growth and for money. Yeah. I think that's

00:20:42.339 --> 00:20:45.000
the secret then. That's the secret. It's investing

00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.619
in pleasure. See, we came... We came together.

00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:54.440
This conclusion together, I love this. This is

00:20:54.440 --> 00:20:56.880
such a bonding moment between us because you

00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:00.059
have to invest in pleasure and the ROI is fucking

00:21:00.059 --> 00:21:04.660
great. So listen up and start doing it. I had

00:21:04.660 --> 00:21:07.700
this coaching session recently that on my mindset,

00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:10.740
actually with David, who you've just spent the

00:21:10.740 --> 00:21:13.279
weekend with, and we've been finding out what

00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:17.670
am I driven by? How do I make my choices? And

00:21:17.670 --> 00:21:19.250
different people make different choices depending

00:21:19.250 --> 00:21:22.450
on, okay, this thing looks good. This thing feels

00:21:22.450 --> 00:21:26.970
good. And my decision is driven by ROI. This

00:21:26.970 --> 00:21:32.690
thing will pay off. Wait, wait a minute. What's

00:21:32.690 --> 00:21:35.710
your zodiac sign? I'm a Capricorn and rising.

00:21:35.710 --> 00:21:39.349
Oh, yeah, of course. So you're driven by ROI.

00:21:39.509 --> 00:21:42.769
I see. Yeah. That makes sense. Is this worth

00:21:42.769 --> 00:21:46.529
my time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if I put this

00:21:46.529 --> 00:21:49.410
amount of effort, how much more will it pay back

00:21:49.410 --> 00:21:52.130
to me? That's how I make my decisions about everything.

00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:56.029
And I know, I know Capricorns really well. Yeah.

00:21:56.650 --> 00:21:59.470
I know, I know your motivation. It's got to make

00:21:59.470 --> 00:22:01.950
it worthwhile, right? Yeah. Like what, like if

00:22:01.950 --> 00:22:03.609
it looks good, but it's not going to pay off.

00:22:04.119 --> 00:22:07.839
I don't care really, like, whatever. Right, right,

00:22:07.900 --> 00:22:11.500
right. I deeply understand that. Deep, deeply.

00:22:11.779 --> 00:22:13.740
With that, that's, I guess, why I've picked this

00:22:13.740 --> 00:22:17.160
business. I know pleasure, feeling good, harmony.

00:22:17.900 --> 00:22:20.480
balance that actually pays off long -term so

00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:22.920
much more. You live longer, feel better, your

00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:25.079
relationships are better, you make more money,

00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:28.539
everything is better. So, so much better because

00:22:28.539 --> 00:22:30.740
you invest in your body, in your pleasure, in

00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:33.099
how you feel and how you feel shapes your entire

00:22:33.099 --> 00:22:37.220
life. Okay. Yeah. Back to your practices. What

00:22:37.220 --> 00:22:40.460
else do you do to feel more pleasure and how

00:22:40.460 --> 00:22:45.140
do you invest in it? So... Self pleasure is a

00:22:45.140 --> 00:22:51.180
big part of what I do. When I'm not, you know,

00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:54.359
spending time with any partner, I make sure that

00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:58.339
I spend time on my own body and I don't necessarily

00:22:58.339 --> 00:23:03.759
always go to the clit first. One of my favorite

00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:08.460
spots. is really like the nipples and the areolas

00:23:08.460 --> 00:23:11.640
and sort of spending time there. Sometimes I

00:23:11.640 --> 00:23:15.400
orgasm from just my nipples, like nipple orgasm.

00:23:15.799 --> 00:23:18.539
And that can feel really good and I have no pressure

00:23:18.539 --> 00:23:23.859
in trying to orgasm in a different way. But sometimes

00:23:23.859 --> 00:23:28.400
I spend time sort of breathe. I do these sexual

00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:32.720
meditations. breathe really deeply and try to

00:23:32.720 --> 00:23:36.940
feel my pelvic area and try to send blood there

00:23:36.940 --> 00:23:40.700
and energy there before I touch myself. And usually

00:23:40.700 --> 00:23:45.700
I get really wet when I spend time. I have to

00:23:45.700 --> 00:23:48.640
spend time. I can't just, you know, like get

00:23:48.640 --> 00:23:51.700
wet like that. But when I spend time, I get really

00:23:51.700 --> 00:23:56.259
wet and when I touch myself, I can come up like

00:23:56.259 --> 00:23:58.500
super fast. if I spend the time, but you got

00:23:58.500 --> 00:24:01.200
to do the leg work. Like you got to spend time

00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:04.700
stimulating like your mind, your body, your skin.

00:24:06.500 --> 00:24:10.200
I have different tools. I don't call them sex

00:24:10.200 --> 00:24:12.539
toys just because I don't feel like they are

00:24:12.539 --> 00:24:14.799
just toys. I feel like they are tools because

00:24:14.799 --> 00:24:18.259
tools make your life easier and better. And I

00:24:18.259 --> 00:24:21.119
have a lot of sex tools that, you know, I have

00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:24.059
stuff that like caresses my body. I have nipple

00:24:24.059 --> 00:24:28.130
sucking tool that's like really hot and not a

00:24:28.130 --> 00:24:29.730
lot of people use them because I think a lot

00:24:29.730 --> 00:24:31.490
of women are like oh no like I don't like playing

00:24:31.490 --> 00:24:34.069
with my nipples but I'm like oh my god you are

00:24:34.069 --> 00:24:48.380
missing out If you're enjoying this episode,

00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:51.819
I'd love your support. Just tap three dots next

00:24:51.819 --> 00:24:53.799
to the podcast name wherever you're listening

00:24:53.799 --> 00:24:56.720
and select rate the show and leave us five stars.

00:24:56.940 --> 00:25:00.519
It takes a few seconds and it really helps more

00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:02.440
women find their space, connect with their bodies

00:25:02.440 --> 00:25:05.099
and come home to themselves. Thank you for being

00:25:05.099 --> 00:25:09.079
here with us. And that's one way I do it. Of

00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:12.839
course, you know, masturbating like with clitoral

00:25:12.839 --> 00:25:17.599
tools, like clitoral vibrators. Um, I like those

00:25:17.599 --> 00:25:20.140
little ones, like the little quiet ones. Yeah.

00:25:20.259 --> 00:25:21.900
Yeah. Yeah. I remember you showed, you showed

00:25:21.900 --> 00:25:24.920
me how, what are they really cute ones. Crave.

00:25:25.220 --> 00:25:28.079
Yeah. They're called craves. Oh my God. Beautiful.

00:25:28.460 --> 00:25:30.640
18 karat gold. Like I know you're a Capricorn,

00:25:30.660 --> 00:25:35.000
so you like nice things, right? So like I just,

00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:38.099
yeah, I love those tools. Beautiful. It doesn't

00:25:38.099 --> 00:25:43.660
feel intrusive. Um, I also really love giving.

00:25:44.440 --> 00:25:47.299
Touch I love physical touch. So I love giving

00:25:47.299 --> 00:25:50.099
people physical touch and I get a lot of pleasure

00:25:50.099 --> 00:25:56.680
from cuddling massaging another person maybe

00:25:56.680 --> 00:26:00.019
like just Holding hands kissing their neck like

00:26:00.019 --> 00:26:03.000
that gives me a lot of pleasure to gives me oxytocin,

00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:07.640
which is really good cocktail for energy Let's

00:26:07.640 --> 00:26:10.980
see what else I do. I look at my business growth

00:26:10.980 --> 00:26:13.920
and I write like my journal. I have a thankful

00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:17.099
journal that I write in every day and I write

00:26:17.099 --> 00:26:19.259
about at least three different things that I'm

00:26:19.259 --> 00:26:21.180
grateful for and it's typically like related

00:26:21.180 --> 00:26:24.440
to my health, related to my life overall and

00:26:24.440 --> 00:26:28.299
then related to my business. Yeah. And I'm just

00:26:28.299 --> 00:26:30.440
so grateful for all the opportunities that I've

00:26:30.440 --> 00:26:33.680
had and I thank the universe and God every day

00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:38.009
for, you know, Helping me get to a place where

00:26:38.009 --> 00:26:40.789
I can help as many people as possible So I have

00:26:40.789 --> 00:26:42.809
that thankful journal, which is also a part of

00:26:42.809 --> 00:26:45.309
my pleasure practice after I'm done writing it

00:26:45.309 --> 00:26:49.390
I feel a lot of like pleasure in my body And

00:26:49.390 --> 00:26:53.869
then just I didn't just sex. I love sex. Yeah

00:26:53.869 --> 00:26:58.750
Yeah, but all of this like it just depends on

00:26:58.750 --> 00:27:02.369
the time and where I'm at and who I'm with at

00:27:02.369 --> 00:27:06.599
the end of the day is purely about prioritizing

00:27:06.599 --> 00:27:10.740
and investing time in pleasure. Yeah. And that

00:27:10.740 --> 00:27:14.259
bit is very often so many people, like most people

00:27:14.259 --> 00:27:17.380
out there these days, they feel guilty around

00:27:17.380 --> 00:27:21.079
prioritizing pleasure or feel like it's not productive

00:27:21.079 --> 00:27:26.279
and indulgent. Well, once again, the point we're

00:27:26.279 --> 00:27:30.599
raising here, this is what pays off, which is

00:27:30.599 --> 00:27:33.730
fantastic, isn't it? If we flip the idea... Yeah,

00:27:33.809 --> 00:27:36.029
you know, I love, I love your perspective because

00:27:36.029 --> 00:27:38.789
people do say it's like an extra thing. It's

00:27:38.789 --> 00:27:42.109
not a core thing, but it's a core thing. Yeah,

00:27:42.569 --> 00:27:46.730
it is. It is. Hmm. Okay. So now you are, you're

00:27:46.730 --> 00:27:48.869
powered by orgasms. You're powered by pleasure.

00:27:48.869 --> 00:27:50.950
You invest in it and then you have so much energy

00:27:50.950 --> 00:27:53.329
and output to build your business. How did you

00:27:53.329 --> 00:27:57.769
even start? How did I start my business? How

00:27:57.769 --> 00:28:00.519
did you start it? Like what was... What was the

00:28:00.519 --> 00:28:02.720
spark first? Were you always an entrepreneur

00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:06.460
or it just happened at some point? When did you

00:28:06.460 --> 00:28:11.559
find the courage? I did sell orange juice when

00:28:11.559 --> 00:28:16.140
I was a kid. My dad asked if I wanted to own

00:28:16.140 --> 00:28:18.380
a business and if I wanted to try something easy

00:28:18.380 --> 00:28:21.900
and I said, yeah. So I made orange juice, packaged

00:28:21.900 --> 00:28:24.180
them in little bottles and went to this mall

00:28:24.180 --> 00:28:28.339
and sell it at the mall. So that was my first

00:28:28.339 --> 00:28:31.660
entrepreneurship experience. But you know, this

00:28:31.660 --> 00:28:34.039
business really, I have to sort of go back a

00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:37.559
little bit. My background is an academic. I am

00:28:37.559 --> 00:28:40.420
fully an academic. I have published a lot of

00:28:40.420 --> 00:28:43.299
research. I have written a textbook that's used

00:28:43.299 --> 00:28:47.799
across the United States for the sexual communication

00:28:47.799 --> 00:28:53.609
classes. I started my whole career as an academic

00:28:53.609 --> 00:28:56.049
and I have been an academic for over 12 years.

00:28:57.509 --> 00:29:03.769
The main shift into business happened at my fifth

00:29:03.769 --> 00:29:07.509
year at Cal State University because I worked

00:29:07.509 --> 00:29:10.150
really hard. I was on this academic hamster wheel

00:29:10.150 --> 00:29:12.710
and I published and I published and I got really

00:29:12.710 --> 00:29:15.269
good reviews from students. So I was able to

00:29:15.269 --> 00:29:20.460
earn my tenure and a promotion at my work. Just

00:29:20.460 --> 00:29:23.380
five years in like people take much much longer

00:29:23.380 --> 00:29:25.319
to earn tenure and promotion, but it only took

00:29:25.319 --> 00:29:29.400
me five years So when I got tenure, it was like

00:29:29.400 --> 00:29:33.079
the pinnacle of an academic career So then I'm

00:29:33.079 --> 00:29:37.740
like what's next? Right, like I could I could

00:29:37.740 --> 00:29:40.299
be a professor and live a more sort of stable

00:29:40.299 --> 00:29:43.200
life and teach two days a week and have lots

00:29:43.200 --> 00:29:45.619
of free time and maybe Have a family and here's

00:29:45.619 --> 00:29:49.619
where we're gonna talk about sacrifice But I

00:29:49.619 --> 00:29:52.200
did not. That's not the life I wanted. I fully

00:29:52.200 --> 00:29:54.339
respect people that want that life, that have

00:29:54.339 --> 00:29:56.980
that life. But it's not the life I wanted. I

00:29:56.980 --> 00:30:03.119
want novelty, excitement, passion, desire, and

00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:05.779
new things. I want to live an expansive life.

00:30:06.299 --> 00:30:09.819
So I was talking to some of my students and they

00:30:09.819 --> 00:30:12.539
were like, Dr. Tara, you're so funny and engaging.

00:30:12.980 --> 00:30:17.000
You should have social media. Yeah, you should

00:30:17.000 --> 00:30:19.019
have social media and a podcast. And at the time

00:30:19.019 --> 00:30:22.359
I did not have social media. Wow, that's cool.

00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:25.559
Yeah. Yeah. This was only like four and a half,

00:30:25.740 --> 00:30:28.039
five, like four and a half years ago. Five years

00:30:28.039 --> 00:30:30.960
ago. Cool. Yeah. They were like, you should have

00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:33.740
a podcast and you should have social media. And

00:30:33.740 --> 00:30:36.859
at the time I was not confident in like making

00:30:36.859 --> 00:30:39.400
content on social media. So I started making

00:30:39.400 --> 00:30:42.940
like, you know, graphics and... teaching sex

00:30:42.940 --> 00:30:44.980
ed, but like through graphics and not showing

00:30:44.980 --> 00:30:51.180
my face. But then I had a really huge epiphany.

00:30:53.000 --> 00:30:57.579
I went to Costa Rica for an Ayahuasca retreat.

00:30:59.259 --> 00:31:03.960
And I had really difficult trips, very difficult

00:31:03.960 --> 00:31:08.099
journeys. I did three ceremonies, very hard.

00:31:08.900 --> 00:31:11.410
I mean, I felt like... It was one of the most

00:31:11.410 --> 00:31:15.329
painful physically, like most painful experience

00:31:15.329 --> 00:31:22.789
I've ever had. And yeah, and that trip changed

00:31:22.789 --> 00:31:26.470
everything for me. It changed everything. And

00:31:26.470 --> 00:31:28.809
you know, it's not, it's not the psychedelic

00:31:28.809 --> 00:31:31.230
per se, it's how you integrate, right? It's because

00:31:31.230 --> 00:31:33.430
you can do so much psychedelic, but never apply

00:31:33.430 --> 00:31:35.869
it to your life ever and not actually take action.

00:31:36.109 --> 00:31:39.440
And to me, the more commendable part is whenever

00:31:39.440 --> 00:31:42.819
I observe people who change their lives in a

00:31:42.819 --> 00:31:44.960
way they want to, right? Like you can change

00:31:44.960 --> 00:31:47.880
your life any day, any time, but you have to

00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:52.569
do it. You can't just talk about it. Yeah, I

00:31:52.569 --> 00:31:57.349
was telling some of my friends, like, I think

00:31:57.349 --> 00:32:01.950
Mother Ayahuasca gave me balls. Because my balls

00:32:01.950 --> 00:32:05.710
were so big. I was just shooting big loads. And

00:32:05.710 --> 00:32:07.670
I came back a completely different person. I

00:32:07.670 --> 00:32:11.049
changed everything in my life. Yeah, I mean,

00:32:11.049 --> 00:32:15.569
I got a divorce. I started just throwing myself

00:32:15.569 --> 00:32:20.700
into my business and work and knowing that I

00:32:20.700 --> 00:32:24.819
am the person to like bring this to the community

00:32:24.819 --> 00:32:28.920
that needs me. So yeah, I changed everything.

00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:30.960
So I started showing my face more. I started

00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:36.200
networking more. I started just meeting. I've

00:32:36.200 --> 00:32:38.200
been just meeting all the right people that really

00:32:38.200 --> 00:32:42.250
helped me. Like I met my publicist early on,

00:32:42.750 --> 00:32:44.789
my LA publicist, and we can talk about this too,

00:32:44.910 --> 00:32:47.829
like how I structure my business and what like

00:32:47.829 --> 00:32:50.029
stakeholders you need in your business to grow

00:32:50.029 --> 00:32:53.609
fast. But I met my publicist early on and I trusted

00:32:53.609 --> 00:32:57.369
her even though she was new. But when we met,

00:32:57.529 --> 00:32:59.650
I was like, wow, I feel this energy. She's a

00:32:59.650 --> 00:33:03.630
go -getter. She's a Capricorn. And I didn't know

00:33:03.630 --> 00:33:05.470
she'll get shit done, even though she just started

00:33:05.470 --> 00:33:08.309
and she's very young, but she went to UCLA. She's

00:33:08.309 --> 00:33:11.529
very connected. So I'm like, you know what, let's

00:33:11.529 --> 00:33:13.450
work together. Like I'll pay this person to be

00:33:13.450 --> 00:33:16.529
my publicist. And here we are. She has a big

00:33:16.529 --> 00:33:20.430
PR firm, so successful, just four years later.

00:33:20.619 --> 00:33:23.400
right? I knew it. I bet on her and she bet on

00:33:23.400 --> 00:33:26.240
me and like we, we grew so much together. I was

00:33:26.240 --> 00:33:29.660
in so many like press and we, from then on, it

00:33:29.660 --> 00:33:32.619
was just like, let's go, go, go. The second person

00:33:32.619 --> 00:33:36.480
that I hired that was like vital to my business

00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:39.660
is my social media manager. And I first hired

00:33:39.660 --> 00:33:42.819
him as my personal assistant. So he was like

00:33:42.819 --> 00:33:46.279
picking up my laundry. doing like buying flowers

00:33:46.279 --> 00:33:49.700
for my house, like you know doing all the shipping

00:33:49.700 --> 00:33:54.599
my Amazon packages. also like help me edit videos

00:33:54.599 --> 00:33:56.559
and post, but at the time I wasn't posting as

00:33:56.559 --> 00:33:59.740
much. But then we together learned so much about

00:33:59.740 --> 00:34:01.720
social media. We knew at the time we had to post

00:34:01.720 --> 00:34:04.819
three times a day, if not more. And we were like,

00:34:04.819 --> 00:34:06.720
oh man, I thought about it. I'm like, am I ready

00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:08.900
for this? Like posting three times a day, every

00:34:08.900 --> 00:34:11.300
fucking day. But you know what? I'm like, I'm

00:34:11.300 --> 00:34:13.440
a new person. So I'll do, I'll do whatever it

00:34:13.440 --> 00:34:15.519
takes. So that's what I did. You know, I was

00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:17.760
still teaching full time. I teach like four classes

00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:21.320
every semester, hundreds of students still publishing.

00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:24.099
research, presenting talk, giving talks at conferences,

00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:27.500
doing press and posting three times a day. So

00:34:27.500 --> 00:34:29.699
when people say they can't, I don't know. I think

00:34:29.699 --> 00:34:33.139
it's limiting beliefs. So yeah, we, we did that.

00:34:33.159 --> 00:34:35.079
We did that for a year and we grew the community

00:34:35.079 --> 00:34:40.500
to 1 million. And from then on, I mean, this

00:34:40.500 --> 00:34:44.840
sounds like a little cocky, a little cocky, but

00:34:44.840 --> 00:34:47.960
from then on, it was really easy. When you hit

00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:52.730
like critical mass, it's easier. Yeah. So after

00:34:52.730 --> 00:34:55.929
growing my community to one million, I had, naturally

00:34:55.929 --> 00:34:59.389
I had so many brand deals. I had so many like

00:34:59.389 --> 00:35:02.429
press that wants to feature me. The TV show came

00:35:02.429 --> 00:35:06.289
in three years ago, long time ago now. So it's

00:35:06.289 --> 00:35:09.070
just, yeah, you gotta hustle at the beginning

00:35:09.070 --> 00:35:12.230
in order to hit your pivotal point. And then

00:35:12.230 --> 00:35:14.369
it's sort of easier from then on, but it doesn't

00:35:14.369 --> 00:35:16.750
mean I'm not still like hustling and trying to

00:35:16.750 --> 00:35:19.110
grow. I mean, I'm working all the time every

00:35:19.110 --> 00:35:22.099
day. And I love it that way. Don't talk to me

00:35:22.099 --> 00:35:24.360
about work -life balance. I don't have. I don't

00:35:24.360 --> 00:35:27.780
have work -life balance. I have lots of orgasms

00:35:27.780 --> 00:35:31.960
and lots of work and lots of deals. And that's

00:35:31.960 --> 00:35:37.460
the way I like it. But I think when you... hustle

00:35:37.460 --> 00:35:39.260
a lot at the beginning and you really have to

00:35:39.260 --> 00:35:41.440
give up so many things. And like I said, I sacrifice

00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:44.440
a lot. I sacrifice time. I didn't hang out with

00:35:44.440 --> 00:35:47.519
friends. I didn't party. I didn't have a lot

00:35:47.519 --> 00:35:51.480
of free time. I don't have children. That's the

00:35:51.480 --> 00:35:54.639
sacrifice that I made. I could have had children.

00:35:55.449 --> 00:35:57.570
five years ago and life wouldn't be the same,

00:35:57.690 --> 00:35:59.409
right? Like I could have stayed married to my

00:35:59.409 --> 00:36:02.309
ex -husband, have multiple children, have a house

00:36:02.309 --> 00:36:04.769
with white picket fence, have a golden retriever

00:36:04.769 --> 00:36:07.210
and just live that life, you know? Go get my

00:36:07.210 --> 00:36:11.010
nails done, go to Pilates, go shopping. But that's

00:36:11.010 --> 00:36:13.030
not the life I picked, right? Like this is the

00:36:13.030 --> 00:36:16.369
life I wanted and here I am. I feel significant

00:36:16.369 --> 00:36:20.489
amount of like gratitude every single day because

00:36:20.489 --> 00:36:24.369
I get to live exactly how I want. I'm seeing

00:36:24.369 --> 00:36:29.389
here Oh, full ownership and feeling unlimited,

00:36:29.670 --> 00:36:31.210
especially in the beginning. You said you've

00:36:31.210 --> 00:36:35.090
had this feeling of having new balls. That's

00:36:35.090 --> 00:36:39.190
often what is required, right? To go and just

00:36:39.190 --> 00:36:43.329
do it. Is it difficult to be on social media

00:36:43.329 --> 00:36:45.809
three times a day and like show your face first

00:36:45.809 --> 00:36:48.829
time and then go for it nonstop? Of course it's

00:36:48.829 --> 00:36:50.869
difficult. And I'm sure - And getting a kind

00:36:50.869 --> 00:36:53.869
of backlash. Yeah, I can't imagine the backlash

00:36:53.869 --> 00:36:56.829
you can get, especially being in sexual wellness

00:36:56.829 --> 00:37:00.710
as a woman on social media. You must be getting

00:37:00.710 --> 00:37:02.969
a lot and you have to deal with it, but you also

00:37:02.969 --> 00:37:05.150
have to not care really and just keep going.

00:37:05.869 --> 00:37:09.110
And this feeling of being unlimited is what is

00:37:09.110 --> 00:37:11.809
so important. And very often it's so hard to

00:37:11.809 --> 00:37:15.210
get. Have you always been like that or was...

00:37:15.210 --> 00:37:21.699
No, no, I grew into this person. I mean... I've

00:37:21.699 --> 00:37:27.760
always had like, a part of my essence is assertive.

00:37:28.400 --> 00:37:30.960
And even as a kid, I was a little bit, I think

00:37:30.960 --> 00:37:34.920
a little bit more assertive than others. But

00:37:34.920 --> 00:37:41.280
when I was a teenager, I started doing like modeling,

00:37:41.599 --> 00:37:46.039
like teen modeling, like magazine shoots. I did

00:37:46.039 --> 00:37:49.679
like teen catwalks. I walked for like Roxy, Volcom.

00:37:50.989 --> 00:37:54.369
and I did like music videos and commercials.

00:37:54.809 --> 00:38:01.190
So I think that work helped me become okay in

00:38:01.190 --> 00:38:04.510
my skin. because in that work, you get a lot

00:38:04.510 --> 00:38:07.429
of rejection. You know, I would go to go -sees,

00:38:07.610 --> 00:38:10.030
right? Go -sees are like auditions. I would go

00:38:10.030 --> 00:38:12.829
to these go -sees and, you know, they would say

00:38:12.829 --> 00:38:15.329
that, oh my God, like, this is perfect. We love

00:38:15.329 --> 00:38:17.730
you. You look so good in this. And then the next

00:38:17.730 --> 00:38:19.190
day, they'll be like, oh, we're sorry. We're

00:38:19.190 --> 00:38:21.889
not picking you, right? So I think from a young

00:38:21.889 --> 00:38:25.630
age, I experienced a lot of rejection. I also

00:38:25.630 --> 00:38:28.210
had a whole year in middle school of bullying

00:38:28.210 --> 00:38:32.639
where I was bullied like relentlessly. And I

00:38:32.639 --> 00:38:35.139
like, I didn't eat lunch with anybody for a whole

00:38:35.139 --> 00:38:38.360
year. Oh, like I ate lunch alone for the whole

00:38:38.360 --> 00:38:42.239
year. Imagine being like 13 and you know, so

00:38:42.239 --> 00:38:45.920
yeah, like I, I feel like there were many different

00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:47.980
moments in life, like that happened. And then,

00:38:48.059 --> 00:38:51.320
you know, all the modeling and commercials that

00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:53.099
happened, a lot of rejection, but also a lot

00:38:53.099 --> 00:38:55.260
of success, right? I was able to make my own

00:38:55.260 --> 00:39:00.519
money, which was Delicious right like being 14

00:39:00.519 --> 00:39:03.159
getting big paychecks from you know, these things

00:39:03.159 --> 00:39:08.900
buying I remember vividly I bought What is it

00:39:08.900 --> 00:39:12.139
called now it was like those Nokia phones that

00:39:12.139 --> 00:39:16.719
slide up and down and it's cool, okay Yeah, 9919

00:39:16.719 --> 00:39:19.960
or something like Nokia. I remember vividly like

00:39:19.960 --> 00:39:22.719
I made money and I bought this phone myself and

00:39:22.719 --> 00:39:26.460
it was it was Delicious. It's a delicious feeling

00:39:26.460 --> 00:39:30.360
to like be able to do that. So yeah, like I think

00:39:30.360 --> 00:39:34.480
in terms of assertiveness and being okay, I mean,

00:39:34.599 --> 00:39:37.360
hey, I'm not invincible. Like when I get a rejection,

00:39:37.599 --> 00:39:39.820
even these days, I still feel it, right? Like

00:39:39.820 --> 00:39:43.440
I'm still hurt, but I come back quite fast. Like

00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:46.380
I bounce back, you know, in maybe I'll be hurt

00:39:46.380 --> 00:39:50.400
for an hour. I cry over it, write about it and

00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:54.449
I'm done. I'm done. I'm what's next. So That

00:39:54.449 --> 00:39:57.449
from my childhood really helped. And then I don't

00:39:57.449 --> 00:39:59.530
know if I told you this, I moved around a lot.

00:39:59.889 --> 00:40:02.489
So I went to high school in Finland. So I lived

00:40:02.489 --> 00:40:06.590
in Europe before. And you know, going there and

00:40:06.590 --> 00:40:09.530
having to adjust and fit into a new culture and

00:40:09.530 --> 00:40:14.699
acculturate and learning new. customs and norms

00:40:14.699 --> 00:40:17.860
really helps me become like super adaptable and

00:40:17.860 --> 00:40:20.719
dynamic and also help me see that people live

00:40:20.719 --> 00:40:23.000
different lives. People live in different ways.

00:40:23.480 --> 00:40:25.659
People in Finland live so differently than people

00:40:25.659 --> 00:40:33.039
from Thailand or LA or Arizona or London. So

00:40:33.039 --> 00:40:37.739
for me, all of those experiences had helped me

00:40:37.739 --> 00:40:42.750
become who I am today. But the most I would say

00:40:42.750 --> 00:40:46.929
the most pivotal part of it all that helped me

00:40:46.929 --> 00:40:50.769
become so confident and so certain about myself

00:40:50.769 --> 00:40:53.090
and where I'm going because I know where I'm

00:40:53.090 --> 00:40:55.730
going, right? Like definitely to the top. I think

00:40:55.730 --> 00:41:00.550
everyone can see it, but it really comes from

00:41:00.550 --> 00:41:06.070
the ability to go through divorce because it

00:41:06.070 --> 00:41:08.809
was really, really hard. I think I downplay it

00:41:08.809 --> 00:41:12.710
a lot, but it was a very, very hard time. But

00:41:12.710 --> 00:41:16.809
choosing myself over people -pleasing and staying

00:41:16.809 --> 00:41:19.630
in that marriage, that was everything to me.

00:41:19.650 --> 00:41:24.969
That gave me a lot of big balls. Yeah, yeah.

00:41:25.289 --> 00:41:29.550
What was the hardest part about it? I feel like

00:41:29.550 --> 00:41:37.230
it really did. So in my culture, like where I'm

00:41:37.230 --> 00:41:40.050
from, nobody gets a divorce because it's very

00:41:40.050 --> 00:41:43.519
shameful. You stick it out. You stick it through.

00:41:45.000 --> 00:41:48.159
Yeah, my parents, I mean, they always like that's

00:41:48.159 --> 00:41:49.980
their mantra, right? Like whatever it is, you

00:41:49.980 --> 00:41:51.960
start a business, you finish it. You start this,

00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:55.400
you finish it. So when you're in a marriage,

00:41:55.420 --> 00:41:57.780
like if it doesn't work, you work it out. You

00:41:57.780 --> 00:42:01.039
know, you stick it out. So for me, I had a lot

00:42:01.039 --> 00:42:04.400
of shame for a long time because I knew I wanted

00:42:04.400 --> 00:42:09.099
a divorce literally like a year and a half into

00:42:09.099 --> 00:42:13.289
the marriage. but I stayed for three. So a full

00:42:13.289 --> 00:42:16.510
year and a half of feeling so guilty and shameful

00:42:16.510 --> 00:42:20.789
and it showed in my body. I had like rashes,

00:42:21.829 --> 00:42:25.730
my hair was falling, my skin wasn't as good.

00:42:26.489 --> 00:42:29.150
I didn't even masturbate because I just didn't

00:42:29.150 --> 00:42:35.989
feel like it. So, oh man, I think it's hard for

00:42:35.989 --> 00:42:39.199
people to... understand because it's where I

00:42:39.199 --> 00:42:43.260
come from and the shame that you should be feeling

00:42:43.260 --> 00:42:48.079
for going through such a failure. That was really

00:42:48.079 --> 00:42:52.019
hard for me considering I'm also a Virgo that

00:42:52.019 --> 00:42:57.219
likes to achieve and also someone that really

00:42:57.219 --> 00:43:00.579
cares about having like a healthy unit, right?

00:43:00.579 --> 00:43:03.500
Like a healthy team and you know, a marriage

00:43:03.500 --> 00:43:07.659
as a team. So it's shameful. And living with

00:43:07.659 --> 00:43:09.820
shame for a year and a half really fucked me

00:43:09.820 --> 00:43:13.539
up big time. Shame is one of the most powerful

00:43:13.539 --> 00:43:16.000
feelings. Very, very strong and so hard to get

00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:18.860
out of. And it does cause a lot of trouble in

00:43:18.860 --> 00:43:21.820
the nervous system level. So I can understand

00:43:21.820 --> 00:43:25.489
because I'm also from Asian culture. And marriage

00:43:25.489 --> 00:43:27.510
is something you're supposed to get into and

00:43:27.510 --> 00:43:29.510
you're supposed to stay in, especially for a

00:43:29.510 --> 00:43:31.989
woman. It's much lighter for a man, but for a

00:43:31.989 --> 00:43:36.530
woman, this is your main failure of your entire

00:43:36.530 --> 00:43:40.320
life. Yeah, like oh you're a divorced woman like

00:43:40.320 --> 00:43:42.719
I know one's gonna like you like you're not gonna

00:43:42.719 --> 00:43:45.599
go anywhere or do anything Right, like it's so

00:43:45.599 --> 00:43:48.059
shameful. But at the same time I was blessed

00:43:48.059 --> 00:43:50.380
because I live in LA and like all my friends

00:43:50.380 --> 00:43:54.360
are divorced so So I had help and I had a ton

00:43:54.360 --> 00:43:58.059
a ton of support especially my female friends

00:43:58.059 --> 00:44:01.679
and my gay friends like I mean, the feminine

00:44:01.679 --> 00:44:04.980
is so powerful and I never take it for granted.

00:44:05.659 --> 00:44:07.780
Like women in my life are the most important

00:44:07.780 --> 00:44:10.219
thing. Like I make sure that I spend a lot of

00:44:10.219 --> 00:44:12.559
time taking care of these relationships. They

00:44:12.559 --> 00:44:14.679
all know that they are important to me and I

00:44:14.679 --> 00:44:16.739
would drop anything to come help them if they

00:44:16.739 --> 00:44:20.840
need help. Yeah. High five to that. Yay. Yeah.

00:44:21.059 --> 00:44:26.489
Women first. Yeah, so you've chosen yourself.

00:44:26.750 --> 00:44:28.730
You've chosen yourself and I feel like you...

00:44:28.730 --> 00:44:31.449
Yeah, you've got to bet on yourself. Yeah. Universe

00:44:31.449 --> 00:44:34.110
always rewards that and showing that you can

00:44:34.110 --> 00:44:37.130
choose yourself even when there is so much shame

00:44:37.130 --> 00:44:40.869
and cultural conditioning is a big test and you

00:44:40.869 --> 00:44:43.030
want it. Investing in myself has been the best

00:44:43.030 --> 00:44:48.139
ROI so far, so I think that's my lesson. Right.

00:44:48.139 --> 00:44:50.019
And what about building that personal brand?

00:44:50.099 --> 00:44:53.460
What are your main lessons? What would you share

00:44:53.460 --> 00:44:56.820
with people now? Hire a team. Like you got to

00:44:56.820 --> 00:44:59.039
invest money. And I know people talk about money

00:44:59.039 --> 00:45:00.820
a lot as in like, well, but I'm not there yet.

00:45:01.079 --> 00:45:05.480
Well, get a loan. I mean, that's what I did.

00:45:05.619 --> 00:45:07.739
I know you have to spend money to make money.

00:45:08.119 --> 00:45:14.420
So I have a very like intense, high -powered

00:45:14.420 --> 00:45:18.250
jobs parents. And they've always taught me these

00:45:18.250 --> 00:45:21.170
like weird things that I didn't really understand

00:45:21.170 --> 00:45:24.670
until I became an adult. Like a lot of times,

00:45:24.789 --> 00:45:26.269
like, you know, they will tell me things like,

00:45:26.449 --> 00:45:29.030
so I was, I was never taught how to do a lot

00:45:29.030 --> 00:45:32.349
of chores because my mom believes that we should

00:45:32.349 --> 00:45:34.630
hire people to do chores because her time is

00:45:34.630 --> 00:45:37.010
more valuable and she'd rather spend working

00:45:37.010 --> 00:45:40.110
and spending time with me. So things like that.

00:45:40.210 --> 00:45:42.309
Right. And then my dad saying things like, you

00:45:42.309 --> 00:45:44.880
know, when I started business, I like you know,

00:45:44.960 --> 00:45:48.380
had to loan, like basically get a loan for like

00:45:48.380 --> 00:45:51.420
six million to like do this and was in debt for

00:45:51.420 --> 00:45:54.420
a long time before like they hit, you know, break

00:45:54.420 --> 00:46:03.300
even or a stabilized time. So I've always learned

00:46:03.300 --> 00:46:08.420
that risks are good, but I've never had to do

00:46:08.420 --> 00:46:10.920
it myself because I was an academic, which is

00:46:10.920 --> 00:46:14.179
like the safest job you can have. Yeah. And I

00:46:14.179 --> 00:46:16.920
was also married, which is like the safest relationship

00:46:16.920 --> 00:46:21.099
you can have. So I was in a very safe space.

00:46:21.500 --> 00:46:23.880
but it was in the space that I was meant to be

00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:26.780
in. So when I started building my personal brand,

00:46:26.920 --> 00:46:29.280
I started sort of sitting down and reflecting

00:46:29.280 --> 00:46:32.699
on what lessons have I learned from my parents

00:46:32.699 --> 00:46:36.280
and also from all the successful people around

00:46:36.280 --> 00:46:39.059
me that I admire so much. Every single person

00:46:39.059 --> 00:46:41.420
that I surround myself with has something to

00:46:41.420 --> 00:46:44.760
teach me and something I can learn from. Whether

00:46:44.760 --> 00:46:48.179
it's small or big, I sit down and I sort of...

00:46:48.360 --> 00:46:53.000
reflect on the lessons. The first one is you've

00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:56.420
got to spend money to make money. So building

00:46:56.420 --> 00:47:02.000
a team was a huge shift for me. I wouldn't be

00:47:02.000 --> 00:47:04.860
here at all without my team. And like I said,

00:47:04.900 --> 00:47:08.460
the first person I hired was my publicist. Because

00:47:08.460 --> 00:47:11.679
if you want to be a public figure, you have to

00:47:11.679 --> 00:47:14.539
be impressed, right? You got to play that game,

00:47:14.539 --> 00:47:18.599
the traditional media game. right? Because you

00:47:18.599 --> 00:47:24.460
can be an influencer, but you still need acknowledgement

00:47:24.460 --> 00:47:27.739
and pedigree from press, unfortunately, right?

00:47:27.739 --> 00:47:30.199
We still live in that sort of world. So hiring

00:47:30.199 --> 00:47:35.320
my publicist was the first thing. Hiring my social

00:47:35.320 --> 00:47:42.119
media manager to work full -time, basically filming,

00:47:42.380 --> 00:47:45.800
editing, posting three times a day. And now,

00:47:45.960 --> 00:47:49.079
I mean, I seriously have been on the right people

00:47:49.079 --> 00:47:51.699
every time because my publicist started with

00:47:51.699 --> 00:47:54.000
me just an independent contractor. Now she has

00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:56.880
a big PR firm with tons of accounts. My social

00:47:56.880 --> 00:47:59.860
media manager started as my personal assistant.

00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:04.159
Now he has a big social media agency in LA that

00:48:04.159 --> 00:48:07.320
has a ton of clients. So I've been betting on

00:48:07.320 --> 00:48:10.539
the right people. Yeah. And I pride myself in

00:48:10.539 --> 00:48:12.519
that too. I can see people and I can be like,

00:48:12.519 --> 00:48:15.380
Ooh, that this is a person that's worth the time

00:48:15.380 --> 00:48:19.440
and investment. And then the third person I hired

00:48:19.440 --> 00:48:23.329
was my executive assistant because you know,

00:48:23.329 --> 00:48:25.670
like doing so many different things. Like someone

00:48:25.670 --> 00:48:27.849
needs to run my life, right? Someone needs to

00:48:27.849 --> 00:48:30.969
be able to tell me to do this, to go there, to

00:48:30.969 --> 00:48:34.369
book restaurants, to do all these things. So

00:48:34.369 --> 00:48:38.769
that's sort of my initial team. And then growing

00:48:38.769 --> 00:48:40.809
from there, when I started having a little bit

00:48:40.809 --> 00:48:44.130
more stable business, meaning like I have a brand

00:48:44.130 --> 00:48:47.730
deal every month, then I reached out to my friend

00:48:47.730 --> 00:48:51.860
who owns a talent agency. Uh, actually it's for

00:48:51.860 --> 00:48:54.599
Asian American actors and actresses like in Hollywood,

00:48:54.619 --> 00:48:57.320
but I was her like sort of first expert client,

00:48:57.320 --> 00:49:01.920
um, because at this point I can't negotiate all

00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:05.440
my brand deals myself. And here's why one, when

00:49:05.440 --> 00:49:08.460
you negotiate yourself, there's this like loosing

00:49:08.460 --> 00:49:10.920
phase, you know, like, because I'm talent, right?

00:49:11.039 --> 00:49:12.820
I'm the talent. I need to be like protected.

00:49:12.820 --> 00:49:16.260
Right. So. There's that like losing face moment.

00:49:16.260 --> 00:49:18.079
And then there's also like chasing for money

00:49:18.079 --> 00:49:19.920
moment. And then there's also sending invoice

00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:22.260
moment. And all of these moments sort of like

00:49:22.260 --> 00:49:26.099
lose, it's losing my magic, right? Like I need

00:49:26.099 --> 00:49:29.579
to stay magical. I need to be like the unicorn

00:49:29.579 --> 00:49:33.199
and work with brands and present them in the

00:49:33.199 --> 00:49:40.079
most optimistic, pleasurable, orgasmic way. And

00:49:40.079 --> 00:49:43.260
I can't do that. I'm bogged down by like logistics

00:49:43.260 --> 00:49:49.690
and admin. So I figured I need a manager and

00:49:49.690 --> 00:49:51.849
I reached out to the right person. We went to

00:49:51.849 --> 00:49:54.389
grad school together and now we've been together

00:49:54.389 --> 00:49:57.070
for two years and it's been really awesome to

00:49:57.070 --> 00:50:01.469
have management. I pay her 15%. I can also talk

00:50:01.469 --> 00:50:03.650
about any of these in terms of like transparency.

00:50:03.769 --> 00:50:06.150
If you have any questions for me, I pay her 15

00:50:06.150 --> 00:50:10.800
% and so all the brand deals that come in. she

00:50:10.800 --> 00:50:15.519
gets all of them 15%. And if I get a new book

00:50:15.519 --> 00:50:18.340
deal, she gets 15%. If I sell a new show, when,

00:50:18.519 --> 00:50:21.460
not if, because I will, when I sell the new show,

00:50:21.619 --> 00:50:24.119
she will also make 15%. So she's just sort of

00:50:24.119 --> 00:50:27.000
managed my whole career. Exactly. So that's fantastic.

00:50:27.340 --> 00:50:29.099
How many people do you have now on your team?

00:50:29.860 --> 00:50:33.519
So now I have seven. So I have my LA publicist,

00:50:33.900 --> 00:50:36.619
social media manager, executive assistant, my

00:50:36.619 --> 00:50:39.139
management. My management is a few different

00:50:39.139 --> 00:50:43.119
people. They all work together. I have my UK

00:50:43.119 --> 00:50:45.820
publicist. Cause like when I'm here, first labs

00:50:45.820 --> 00:50:48.699
go dating, I have a UK publicist as well. I have

00:50:48.699 --> 00:50:53.099
my podcast editor and I have my lawyer. Do you

00:50:53.099 --> 00:50:55.300
manage your finances or is there a person who

00:50:55.300 --> 00:50:58.449
does that for you? I manage my finances. Yeah,

00:50:58.570 --> 00:51:02.590
that's how I thought. I don't trust anyone with

00:51:02.590 --> 00:51:05.710
finances. My family is the only people I would

00:51:05.710 --> 00:51:08.449
trust, but they don't live in America. Like if

00:51:08.449 --> 00:51:12.150
my sister moves to LA, I would have her manage

00:51:12.150 --> 00:51:14.690
my finances. A lot of people, especially women,

00:51:14.750 --> 00:51:17.150
have a lot of shame around money or a lot of

00:51:17.150 --> 00:51:19.429
blocks around money. And they also have this

00:51:19.429 --> 00:51:22.630
persona of, oh, I'm not good at money. Somebody

00:51:22.630 --> 00:51:24.349
else needs to do this for me. And if I do the

00:51:24.349 --> 00:51:26.130
business, I want to do the creative part, but

00:51:26.130 --> 00:51:28.590
the finances somebody else needs to do. I was

00:51:28.590 --> 00:51:30.670
like that when I was in my early 20s, when I

00:51:30.670 --> 00:51:34.090
started my first business. And the lesson I received

00:51:34.090 --> 00:51:37.429
very quickly from my mentors was, if you don't

00:51:37.429 --> 00:51:39.750
run your finances, you don't run your business.

00:51:39.949 --> 00:51:42.550
If you don't understand your finances, you have

00:51:42.550 --> 00:51:45.369
no idea, you are hired by someone. Like that's

00:51:45.369 --> 00:51:50.550
not your business. It's very important. I hope

00:51:50.550 --> 00:51:53.989
that I will get to a place where I have a CFO

00:51:53.989 --> 00:51:58.469
and then I can be inspired all the time and not

00:51:58.469 --> 00:52:00.789
have to like look at numbers. Then I can just

00:52:00.789 --> 00:52:03.710
be inspired, go live my unicorn life, run around,

00:52:03.769 --> 00:52:07.190
maybe go on a yacht in the Aegean Sea and swim

00:52:07.190 --> 00:52:12.650
in Greece and make content and have all my businesses

00:52:12.650 --> 00:52:15.469
make money. But before I get there, I need to

00:52:15.469 --> 00:52:18.710
know all my finances. I need to know my taxes.

00:52:18.849 --> 00:52:21.869
I need to know all my write -offs. I work directly

00:52:21.869 --> 00:52:23.909
with our book. Well, I have a bookkeeper and

00:52:23.909 --> 00:52:27.909
an accountant. which are the best people to pay.

00:52:28.010 --> 00:52:32.530
Oh, yes. If you're an influencer or like a celebrity,

00:52:32.710 --> 00:52:35.469
like you don't know how to do it. So just hire

00:52:35.469 --> 00:52:38.309
someone to do it. My bookkeeper is freaking amazing.

00:52:38.329 --> 00:52:40.309
I want to give her a shout out if you guys ever

00:52:40.309 --> 00:52:44.030
need a bookkeeper. Her name is Jessica. She's

00:52:44.030 --> 00:52:46.829
so organized. She's so available. Like anytime

00:52:46.829 --> 00:52:48.969
I need something, like, hey, I need this to get

00:52:48.969 --> 00:52:51.409
a loan. She's like generating documents immediately.

00:52:51.690 --> 00:52:53.969
So she's so great. What you're saying, yes, it's

00:52:53.969 --> 00:52:56.210
amazing to get yourself to a space when you have

00:52:56.210 --> 00:52:59.289
your CFO. But before that, you learn all of this.

00:52:59.409 --> 00:53:01.590
You understand it. You build your business by

00:53:01.590 --> 00:53:03.710
understanding the money, understanding the finances,

00:53:03.710 --> 00:53:06.309
and you get yourself to a space when you can

00:53:06.309 --> 00:53:08.829
have somebody else running that. But you, by

00:53:08.829 --> 00:53:11.409
that time, already embody this knowledge, already

00:53:11.409 --> 00:53:13.750
have a grip of it, and already understand it.

00:53:14.750 --> 00:53:17.650
Yeah, I need to know. I need to be able to understand

00:53:17.650 --> 00:53:20.030
it. I can't just be like, oh, how much are we

00:53:20.030 --> 00:53:22.710
making? What are we investing in? I need to know.

00:53:25.510 --> 00:53:31.250
My goal is that my brand that's coming out, Drip

00:53:31.250 --> 00:53:34.150
by Dr. Tara, is going to grow really big and

00:53:34.150 --> 00:53:37.849
it's going to be in all of Target stores and

00:53:37.849 --> 00:53:40.730
that's going to be sort of where I like semi

00:53:40.730 --> 00:53:47.190
-retire. Yeah. Like that's my 10 -year plan is

00:53:47.190 --> 00:53:50.550
that I... What, how old am I now? I'm 36. So

00:53:50.550 --> 00:53:54.250
by 46 that I can sort of semi -retire. I would

00:53:54.250 --> 00:53:56.070
never retire because I fucking love what I do.

00:53:56.070 --> 00:53:59.230
I want to do it every day all the time, but then

00:53:59.230 --> 00:54:03.530
I won't be like so full on. Right. Then I can

00:54:03.530 --> 00:54:05.630
sort of sit back. And of course, when drip is

00:54:05.630 --> 00:54:09.369
so big, I would hire, you know, COO, CFO and

00:54:09.369 --> 00:54:12.789
potentially CEO. And I'm sort of just advising.

00:54:13.289 --> 00:54:16.070
Yeah, that's the best. One point I really want

00:54:16.070 --> 00:54:18.070
to highlight in this podcast for people listening

00:54:18.070 --> 00:54:20.889
who are like, oh, orgasms, make more money. Okay,

00:54:20.989 --> 00:54:25.510
what's this title? Orgasms definitely help, but

00:54:25.510 --> 00:54:30.150
also financial education is so important. Even

00:54:30.150 --> 00:54:34.449
from the energy perspective, if anybody is, especially

00:54:34.449 --> 00:54:36.889
a lot of people who are in a spiritual world,

00:54:36.909 --> 00:54:38.769
in a tantra world are listening to this podcast.

00:54:40.239 --> 00:54:42.840
It is beautiful when we can be financially supported

00:54:42.840 --> 00:54:44.579
and we grow and a lot of people want exactly

00:54:44.579 --> 00:54:46.440
that whole listening to this podcast as it's

00:54:46.440 --> 00:54:49.260
called feminine power and power is not being

00:54:49.260 --> 00:54:53.320
able to create what we want. We can't really

00:54:53.320 --> 00:54:58.539
reject the structure of our finances if we want

00:54:58.539 --> 00:55:01.480
to build successful businesses and brands and

00:55:01.480 --> 00:55:04.500
we cannot outsource that. And we need to love

00:55:04.500 --> 00:55:07.219
the money and to love them, we need to see them.

00:55:07.360 --> 00:55:10.460
And to see and understand them, be close to them

00:55:10.460 --> 00:55:13.420
and understand how they work. So that's amazing

00:55:13.420 --> 00:55:14.940
that you do that because I was wondering, you

00:55:14.940 --> 00:55:16.739
have all these people who does the money, you

00:55:16.739 --> 00:55:20.260
do the money. Perfect. I do the money. Yeah,

00:55:20.260 --> 00:55:22.260
I do the money. I know my finances. I know the

00:55:22.260 --> 00:55:24.460
business. I know how much it's on my payroll.

00:55:24.780 --> 00:55:28.039
I know. Yeah, there are a lot of especially women

00:55:28.039 --> 00:55:31.059
out there that are afraid of money or afraid

00:55:31.059 --> 00:55:34.739
to say they love money because it's dirty right

00:55:34.739 --> 00:55:36.679
because like you have to have pure intentions

00:55:36.679 --> 00:55:39.679
you have to have like you know like money isn't

00:55:39.679 --> 00:55:41.880
everything money can't buy happiness right like

00:55:41.880 --> 00:55:44.539
that word but when you do that then you project

00:55:44.539 --> 00:55:46.780
into the universe that you don't want it yeah

00:55:46.780 --> 00:55:50.400
yeah and no i love money give me more like i

00:55:50.400 --> 00:55:54.920
love money money finds me everywhere i go i mean

00:55:54.920 --> 00:55:57.559
i've been on on vacation for for so long i still

00:55:57.559 --> 00:56:01.539
get money so it's like to me what you said is

00:56:01.539 --> 00:56:05.400
really powerful especially for women entrepreneurs

00:56:05.400 --> 00:56:08.420
out there, don't think money is dirty. Money

00:56:08.420 --> 00:56:11.380
is amazing and money allows you to grow your

00:56:11.380 --> 00:56:14.860
influence and to help more people. And the point

00:56:14.860 --> 00:56:18.840
of being alive, really, for me at least, it's

00:56:18.840 --> 00:56:21.420
to help more people. What's the point of being

00:56:21.420 --> 00:56:23.840
just here and not helping any fucking buddy?

00:56:24.639 --> 00:56:27.599
Right? For me, the whole reason I exist is so

00:56:27.599 --> 00:56:30.420
that I can help more people and I'll die very

00:56:30.420 --> 00:56:32.869
happy if I've known that I have helped so many

00:56:32.869 --> 00:56:35.150
lives yeah and you're helping people to experience

00:56:35.150 --> 00:56:37.289
more pleasure i'm excited for your loop product

00:56:37.289 --> 00:56:41.349
to be coming out that's that's amazing so i have

00:56:41.349 --> 00:56:44.909
been using it and the feedback i got is that

00:56:44.909 --> 00:56:48.510
it's fucking amazing and it kind of feels like

00:56:48.510 --> 00:56:54.309
my pussy so amazing there's that so i think it

00:56:54.309 --> 00:56:56.789
will do really well it's uh yeah it's really

00:56:56.789 --> 00:57:01.420
really nice um very clean And I'm working with

00:57:01.420 --> 00:57:05.820
a really good, a really good team. Yeah. So how

00:57:05.820 --> 00:57:08.360
did you find, like my question, that's for me

00:57:08.360 --> 00:57:10.480
personally, interesting. You don't know if it's

00:57:10.480 --> 00:57:12.059
interesting for people on the podcast, but for

00:57:12.059 --> 00:57:14.400
me totally. How do you find these amazing people?

00:57:14.619 --> 00:57:17.260
Of course it is. What you find interesting is

00:57:17.260 --> 00:57:20.079
what everybody else finds interesting. How do

00:57:20.079 --> 00:57:21.880
you find these amazing young talents? You know,

00:57:22.059 --> 00:57:25.420
hiring can be so difficult and usually you want

00:57:25.420 --> 00:57:27.579
to find someone experienced, la la la. I also

00:57:27.579 --> 00:57:30.639
prefer finding someone who is a true talent and

00:57:30.639 --> 00:57:33.860
seeing them grow. How did you do that so well

00:57:33.860 --> 00:57:39.360
with your first shots? So I have to admit I have

00:57:39.360 --> 00:57:42.519
the advantage because I'm a professor. I get

00:57:42.519 --> 00:57:46.480
access to a lot of college students and I know

00:57:46.480 --> 00:57:49.000
who are the A students, who are the responsible

00:57:49.000 --> 00:57:50.820
ones, who are the ones that take initiatives,

00:57:50.900 --> 00:57:52.539
who are the ones that are really good at talking,

00:57:52.599 --> 00:57:57.559
who are the creative ones and two main players

00:57:57.559 --> 00:58:01.420
in my team. are from school. So I have Adam and

00:58:01.420 --> 00:58:05.019
Victoria. They're both from my classes. And Adam

00:58:05.019 --> 00:58:10.099
has always been like a C student, but super creative,

00:58:10.239 --> 00:58:12.980
does not fit in the box. Very creative, takes

00:58:12.980 --> 00:58:17.300
initiative, and has a ton of energy. He's a Gemini,

00:58:17.639 --> 00:58:20.659
a little crazy, but that's where social media,

00:58:20.760 --> 00:58:23.659
like he's thriving. That life is crazy. Owning

00:58:23.659 --> 00:58:28.389
a social media agency is crazy. I hired him for

00:58:28.389 --> 00:58:31.130
that and to also be my personal assistant and

00:58:31.130 --> 00:58:36.590
my zodiac, like sort of a guru, because he loves

00:58:36.590 --> 00:58:39.610
reading tarot cards and the charts. And then

00:58:39.610 --> 00:58:42.650
I hired Victoria to be my executive assistant,

00:58:42.809 --> 00:58:47.289
which I'm planning as soon as we hit our like

00:58:47.289 --> 00:58:49.710
critical goal for revenue, I'm promoting her

00:58:49.710 --> 00:58:54.110
to CEO, I'm sure she needs to be. She needs to

00:58:54.110 --> 00:58:56.389
be doing all my operations, but currently as

00:58:56.389 --> 00:58:58.889
my executive assistant, I hired her because she

00:58:58.889 --> 00:59:03.510
was an A student, A plus, 4 .0 GPA, right? Do

00:59:03.510 --> 00:59:08.050
everything that's asked. Really amazing at following

00:59:08.050 --> 00:59:12.170
strict instructions, right? Maybe she's not the

00:59:12.170 --> 00:59:14.250
most creative person, right? Because Adam, the

00:59:14.250 --> 00:59:18.679
C student, is creative. Victoria is so good at

00:59:18.679 --> 00:59:22.059
carrying out whatever I say and exactly the way

00:59:22.059 --> 00:59:26.440
I want it. So it is like, oh my God, talking

00:59:26.440 --> 00:59:30.739
about it, almost I'm crying because I am so grateful

00:59:30.739 --> 00:59:34.179
that I met these people and I was able to pull

00:59:34.179 --> 00:59:37.489
them into my life. My publicist though came in

00:59:37.489 --> 00:59:40.449
naturally. She emailed me. She cold emailed me.

00:59:40.730 --> 00:59:43.230
She, she cold emailed me. And this is where I

00:59:43.230 --> 00:59:45.690
don't, don't sleep on people that cold email

00:59:45.690 --> 00:59:48.829
you and LinkedIn you because I also hired my

00:59:48.829 --> 00:59:51.869
editor from LinkedIn who emailed me. She told

00:59:51.869 --> 00:59:56.329
me, yeah, took initiative, took my podcast, edit

00:59:56.329 --> 00:59:58.250
clips and send it to me and see, do you like

00:59:58.250 --> 01:00:02.150
this? I'm like, fuck yeah. Yeah. So I actually,

01:00:02.150 --> 01:00:05.019
you know, I used to think like, ah, this is all

01:00:05.019 --> 01:00:08.119
spam. But I actually take a glance. I take like

01:00:08.119 --> 01:00:10.980
a quick 10 second glance to see if it's worth

01:00:10.980 --> 01:00:13.219
my time to have a call. And that's what happened

01:00:13.219 --> 01:00:15.780
with Holly, my publicist, is like, I took a glance

01:00:15.780 --> 01:00:17.960
and I'm like, oh, she seems interesting. And

01:00:17.960 --> 01:00:19.440
then, yeah, the rest is history. We're still

01:00:19.440 --> 01:00:21.860
together many, many years now. Are you looking

01:00:21.860 --> 01:00:24.420
for a social media manager? Yeah, I'm looking

01:00:24.420 --> 01:00:27.480
for someone. I want someone young, creative.

01:00:28.420 --> 01:00:31.170
Always, always the one young. Like just thinking

01:00:31.170 --> 01:00:33.250
out of the box, coming up with their own ideas

01:00:33.250 --> 01:00:36.190
because mostly I struggle with people who just

01:00:36.190 --> 01:00:38.809
want instructions. So like, okay, so what would

01:00:38.809 --> 01:00:41.250
you like me to do? I have no idea. I want you

01:00:41.250 --> 01:00:43.969
to tell me. But that's a good executive assistant

01:00:43.969 --> 01:00:48.630
and COO. Yeah, that I have. The assistant I have.

01:00:48.949 --> 01:00:51.610
That I figured out. Finding someone who's like

01:00:51.610 --> 01:00:54.530
self -driven. Come on, guys. We're going to find

01:00:54.530 --> 01:00:56.150
you someone. We're going to find you someone.

01:00:56.960 --> 01:00:59.639
Anyway, this conversation is turning into a hiring

01:00:59.639 --> 01:01:01.739
conversation. Hopefully, someone will get into

01:01:01.739 --> 01:01:03.820
this podcast and we'll just apply for a job.

01:01:04.739 --> 01:01:06.639
Yeah, got to put it out there. And hey, like,

01:01:06.699 --> 01:01:08.500
you know, I can always post for you. I can post

01:01:08.500 --> 01:01:10.880
on my story saying like, hey, my friend, a female

01:01:10.880 --> 01:01:12.619
entrepreneur is looking for a social media manager

01:01:12.619 --> 01:01:15.639
because lots of people pitch me and I have to

01:01:15.639 --> 01:01:17.659
tell them I already have someone, I don't need

01:01:17.659 --> 01:01:20.199
another person. But when they pitch me, maybe

01:01:20.199 --> 01:01:24.260
I'll send it to you. Thank you. Yeah, of course.

01:01:24.400 --> 01:01:28.139
Always. And I'm always here to help with whatever

01:01:28.139 --> 01:01:31.739
you need. Yeah. So supportive. Thank you so much.

01:01:31.860 --> 01:01:33.960
I know you are so supportive for women. It's

01:01:33.960 --> 01:01:35.840
like I can still feel it because you've shared

01:01:35.840 --> 01:01:37.659
with me so many different cool companies that

01:01:37.659 --> 01:01:41.360
you invested in or connected with. Always. I

01:01:41.360 --> 01:01:45.050
will always bet on women entrepreneurs. All right.

01:01:45.050 --> 01:01:47.250
So what would you share with people who just

01:01:47.250 --> 01:01:49.469
want to start their business? They've never started

01:01:49.469 --> 01:01:52.389
the business before. It's like you were, basically

01:01:52.389 --> 01:01:56.929
five years ago, a college professor. What would

01:01:56.929 --> 01:01:59.170
you share? What is one most important thing to

01:01:59.170 --> 01:02:02.769
focus on? I'm going to share something that's

01:02:02.769 --> 01:02:07.670
really controversial. When you become an entrepreneur,

01:02:08.190 --> 01:02:11.869
there's no work -life balance. It's work -work

01:02:11.869 --> 01:02:16.079
balance. And if you want work -life balance,

01:02:17.719 --> 01:02:22.119
perhaps extreme entrepreneurship is not for you.

01:02:24.079 --> 01:02:30.139
And it didn't mean that I had a miserable life.

01:02:30.179 --> 01:02:32.800
I had an amazing great life because I consistently

01:02:32.800 --> 01:02:34.920
achieved something and that gives me satisfaction.

01:02:35.019 --> 01:02:37.300
But it takes a certain personality to do this

01:02:37.300 --> 01:02:42.900
as well. Not everyone is meant to have high pressure,

01:02:43.119 --> 01:02:46.760
entrepreneurial journey. And that's okay. Like

01:02:46.760 --> 01:02:49.820
people can exist and thrive and have a very fulfilling

01:02:49.820 --> 01:02:52.579
life in many, many different ways. But if you

01:02:52.579 --> 01:02:56.920
want to build a business, a brand and become

01:02:56.920 --> 01:03:00.360
an entrepreneur, know that like your first year,

01:03:00.679 --> 01:03:03.000
there is no work -life balance. It's just work

01:03:03.000 --> 01:03:05.389
-work balance. And I know it's controversial,

01:03:05.530 --> 01:03:08.090
especially for women and in wellness space. People

01:03:08.090 --> 01:03:10.889
always talk about self -care, but all I did was

01:03:10.889 --> 01:03:13.630
fucking hustle, like all day, every day, all

01:03:13.630 --> 01:03:17.150
day, every day, all the time. And I mean, I'm

01:03:17.150 --> 01:03:20.119
pretty happy where I'm at. Yeah, yeah. Well,

01:03:20.440 --> 01:03:24.139
I must say, I can resonate with that. In an ideal

01:03:24.139 --> 01:03:26.380
world, you can create balance, but unfortunately,

01:03:26.460 --> 01:03:29.679
most of the time, it's not the case. Very often,

01:03:29.900 --> 01:03:33.019
we hear this, we can see and we can witness stories

01:03:33.019 --> 01:03:36.639
of balance, but that most likely came after the

01:03:36.639 --> 01:03:39.920
lessons were already learned and after foundation

01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:42.340
has already been built. After the first year.

01:03:42.659 --> 01:03:45.679
Yeah, or sometimes first three years, like, you

01:03:45.679 --> 01:03:49.170
know, you never know. Yeah, it can take longer

01:03:49.170 --> 01:03:52.389
and it does require a lot of sacrifice. I find

01:03:52.389 --> 01:03:54.710
it extremely important to be able to balance,

01:03:54.869 --> 01:03:57.909
at least have a massage, definitely eat really

01:03:57.909 --> 01:04:01.409
well. Another thing is we teach this amazing

01:04:01.409 --> 01:04:03.409
course, Feminine Power Blueprint, and it's about

01:04:03.409 --> 01:04:05.929
healing and stepping into your power as a woman.

01:04:06.530 --> 01:04:08.690
And in the healing world and in the space of

01:04:08.690 --> 01:04:11.190
spiritual connection and reconnection, there

01:04:11.190 --> 01:04:14.639
is one piece that is very rarely unspoken of,

01:04:14.960 --> 01:04:17.920
very similar to this piece of work -life balance.

01:04:18.480 --> 01:04:20.800
Always, I feel same as we start in a business

01:04:20.800 --> 01:04:24.099
or starting your healing journey, starting to

01:04:24.099 --> 01:04:27.440
your spiritual journey. First, there will be

01:04:27.440 --> 01:04:30.099
a very difficult period of time. You have to

01:04:30.099 --> 01:04:32.579
work really hard, you have to cry, you have to

01:04:32.579 --> 01:04:35.099
release all the fears, pains, limits. It's not

01:04:35.099 --> 01:04:38.139
going to be beautiful right away. And especially

01:04:38.139 --> 01:04:42.639
when it overlaps so much, If you, for example,

01:04:42.800 --> 01:04:44.980
now have a great comfortable life and you suddenly

01:04:44.980 --> 01:04:47.539
want to start a business, or you suddenly want

01:04:47.539 --> 01:04:50.179
to have better orgasms after you've been just

01:04:50.179 --> 01:04:53.280
having very average orgasms, or you want to enter

01:04:53.280 --> 01:04:55.639
into a more devotional and spiritually alive

01:04:55.639 --> 01:04:59.739
space, neither of these things, better orgasms,

01:05:00.019 --> 01:05:02.679
spiritually alive space, or business, are going

01:05:02.679 --> 01:05:05.820
just to start nicely. All of these three things,

01:05:06.099 --> 01:05:08.900
first you have to go through shit. All of them.

01:05:09.360 --> 01:05:12.079
Either you have to learn how to unlock your numbness

01:05:12.079 --> 01:05:14.940
and completely notice it in your organ. You have

01:05:14.940 --> 01:05:18.500
to go through shit first. Yeah, it's not always

01:05:18.500 --> 01:05:23.260
like rainbows and butterflies, right? And those

01:05:23.260 --> 01:05:26.559
that can get through that first part will reap

01:05:26.559 --> 01:05:30.079
the rewards. And I feel like, you know, in a

01:05:30.079 --> 01:05:33.059
grand scheme of things, and this is where my

01:05:33.059 --> 01:05:36.139
like... psycho -vergo thing comes in, right?

01:05:36.420 --> 01:05:40.820
In this grand scheme of things, I feel like I'm

01:05:40.820 --> 01:05:45.219
just starting. I'm only in the starting phase,

01:05:45.380 --> 01:05:47.639
right? There's so much more. Just 40 years from

01:05:47.639 --> 01:05:51.500
now. Like, what happens? What happens in 10 years?

01:05:51.619 --> 01:05:53.760
Because I've only started less than five years

01:05:53.760 --> 01:05:56.559
ago. What happens five years from now? What happens

01:05:56.559 --> 01:05:59.000
another 10 years, another 15 years, another 20

01:05:59.000 --> 01:06:03.739
years? So I'm in the grand scheme of things,

01:06:04.380 --> 01:06:07.659
still in a very startup, startup phase. Yeah.

01:06:08.099 --> 01:06:10.219
And you're right, seeing that things are getting

01:06:10.219 --> 01:06:12.860
much easier, as you said. How do you self care

01:06:12.860 --> 01:06:16.400
now? As my last question, you do lots of pleasure

01:06:16.400 --> 01:06:18.139
practices. Is there anything else you'd like

01:06:18.139 --> 01:06:20.800
to do? Like maybe Shibari is a new thing or?

01:06:21.340 --> 01:06:23.860
Could be, Shibari could be my new thing. Because

01:06:23.860 --> 01:06:27.039
I tried that full session with mistress catharsis

01:06:27.039 --> 01:06:30.039
and I really, really loved it. So, and it allows

01:06:30.039 --> 01:06:33.179
me to surrender for a bit. I would like to go

01:06:33.179 --> 01:06:38.500
into more intensely like taking care of my body.

01:06:39.019 --> 01:06:41.340
So like, I already have a personal trainer, but

01:06:41.340 --> 01:06:44.920
I don't think I see enough. He also yells at

01:06:44.920 --> 01:06:48.079
me when I see him. So, but like, I just want

01:06:48.079 --> 01:06:51.860
to make sure that my body is getting ready to

01:06:51.860 --> 01:06:55.630
like, you know get older because I'm 36 now and

01:06:55.630 --> 01:06:58.630
in four years I'll be 40 and I'll be 45 and I'll

01:06:58.630 --> 01:07:01.230
be 50 like I just want to make sure my body is

01:07:01.230 --> 01:07:07.150
like really healthy so that I can live longer

01:07:07.150 --> 01:07:09.869
and help more people. We must invest in our health

01:07:09.869 --> 01:07:12.989
as entrepreneurs and the more we progress the

01:07:12.989 --> 01:07:15.829
more things really depend on how we feel and

01:07:15.829 --> 01:07:19.289
in this external world. If you get sick all the

01:07:19.289 --> 01:07:22.139
time you can be making money. Yeah, you can't.

01:07:22.659 --> 01:07:25.940
Yeah. So health is first, right? Health is wealth.

01:07:26.539 --> 01:07:30.519
Yeah, health is wealth. Thank you. Yeah. Thank

01:07:30.519 --> 01:07:32.739
you for having me. This conversation has been

01:07:32.739 --> 01:07:35.360
orgasmic. I really appreciate your energy and

01:07:35.360 --> 01:07:37.159
all the teachings you put out there. You're such

01:07:37.159 --> 01:07:39.840
an inspiration to a lot of women entrepreneurs.

01:07:41.159 --> 01:07:44.380
I just can't get enough of you. I love your drive.

01:07:44.900 --> 01:07:48.199
And that gave me a lot of inspiration even for

01:07:48.199 --> 01:07:51.599
today. I'm like, I want a real review where I'm

01:07:51.599 --> 01:07:55.739
placing my energy and especially the team. Oh

01:07:55.739 --> 01:07:58.460
my God. That's amazing. That's so beautiful.

01:07:58.599 --> 01:08:00.579
And thank you for creating all that you create

01:08:00.579 --> 01:08:03.559
for pleasure for this world and all your content

01:08:03.559 --> 01:08:05.900
and especially your upcoming book. I can't wait

01:08:05.900 --> 01:08:09.940
to do it. Yeah. It's called How Do You Like It?

01:08:10.159 --> 01:08:12.860
the guide for getting what you want in bed. I'm

01:08:12.860 --> 01:08:16.319
going to send you the link for pre -sales. Let's

01:08:16.319 --> 01:08:18.659
manifest that I become a New York Times bestseller

01:08:18.659 --> 01:08:20.340
because that's what's going to happen. That was

01:08:20.340 --> 01:08:23.399
Dr. Tara and you can find her on social media

01:08:23.399 --> 01:08:28.079
at luvbites .co. Her book, How Do You Like It?

01:08:28.260 --> 01:08:31.439
A guide to getting what you want in bed is coming

01:08:31.439 --> 01:08:33.979
out this holiday season and the details are in

01:08:33.979 --> 01:08:36.319
this episode description. You've been listening

01:08:36.319 --> 01:08:39.159
to the Feminine Power Podcast, your space for

01:08:39.159 --> 01:08:41.920
embodiment and feminine wisdom. And if you're

01:08:41.920 --> 01:08:45.159
feeling the spark from this conversation already

01:08:45.159 --> 01:08:48.899
inside of your body, and if you're ready to not

01:08:48.899 --> 01:08:51.899
just listen, But to live this way, there is a

01:08:51.899 --> 01:08:55.819
path. Feminine Power Blueprint is our 3 -months

01:08:55.819 --> 01:08:58.140
initiation for women, ready to reclaim their

01:08:58.140 --> 01:09:01.039
bodies, their energy and their power. You'll

01:09:01.039 --> 01:09:03.439
be guided by 11 incredible teachers, through

01:09:03.439 --> 01:09:06.199
embodiment, love, money, energy and pleasure,

01:09:06.699 --> 01:09:09.939
to build a life that's resourced, magnetic and

01:09:09.939 --> 01:09:14.590
fully your... own. It is truly a full body shift.

01:09:15.210 --> 01:09:18.329
And our next life round begins in October and

01:09:18.329 --> 01:09:21.630
the early bird enrollment is now open. Find the

01:09:21.630 --> 01:09:24.010
link in this episode description to join now.

01:09:24.170 --> 01:09:26.210
I'm Mariya Grinina and until for next time.