Now, when you serve me, this pleasure isn't for
you. All of you is for me. So your body is now
mine. I'm going to use your body for my own pleasure.
I'm going to bind you. I'm going to hurt you
in ways that please me. The way that you derive
happiness is from pleasing me. And so there's
nothing you need to do. just to let go and let
me have you. In this episode I speak to Damiana
Chi about living a life as a professional dominatrix.
And I'm excited to share what all women can learn
from dominatrixes about confidence and power
and self -expression and seduction and energetic
and psychological play. Damiana shares juicy
things about what it is like to be a dominatrix
and how to really empower yourself as a dominatrix
and what kind of archetypes of a dominatrix are
there and how to embody them and how to enjoy
this superpower in our daily lives. Whether you've
ever fantasized to be a dominatrix, whether you've
ever been curious about what it is like to be
in those rooms or if If you have no idea and
just are listening to this podcast because you
are interested in confidence and true empowerment,
stay tuned. You are in for a treat. Mistress
Damiana Chi has been a professional and lifestyle
dominatrix in Los Angeles since 1999. She holds
a PhD in clinical psychology, an MA in counseling
psychology, a BA in behavioral sciences, and
is a certified sexologist, specialized in kink
-centered counseling and life coaching. She's
the author of The Dominatrix Archetypes and the
founder of the Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy,
where she personally mentors women worldwide
in the art of conscious female domination. So
being a dominatrix, there is something called
a classical art form of female domination. And
this is an art form that has been passed down
from the 1800s in Europe. Actually, it came from
the London area. That is the particular art form
that is the lineage that I learned from. There's
a specific craft to it. There's a specific protocols
to it. There's specific language. It's really,
really unique. I mean, I live in two worlds,
really. I call it the vanilla world and the kink
world. And in the vanilla world, you know, I
have two daughters. Two dogs, two cats, a house,
you know, a mortgage payment, things like that,
the normal life. But I've been a dominatrix now
for 26 years. And on that side of my life, I
have a studio in downtown LA. BDSM dungeon and
that is where I see my clients. I have a stable
of slaves. I call them slaves, but the term slave
does not have a negative connotation. It's a
very positive connotation and it's actually an
honor for someone to be called my personal slave.
So it's a very different lifestyle that I lead
over there. As I began this journey, It was incredible
because I grew up in Los Angeles, but in a traditional
Chinese upbringing. And so I was taught to be
very shy. and to basically not speak unless spoken
to, that sort of thing. And so I had a lot of
rebellion inside of me. I had a lot of things
I want to say. And by the time I became a dominatrix,
which I was in my 20s by then, it was so liberating
to just speak my truth and to say whatever I
want and to command men, to tell them... what
I wanted them to do for me and to order them
and to have them bow to me and things like that.
For me, it's the most healing journey that I've
ever experienced. I call being a dominatrix the
biggest self -love exercise that exists. Biggest
self -love and from my side as a very beginner
but a very curious person in this world. I must
say it's also so challenging and therefore such
a place where there are so many opportunities
for growth. I feel like the challenge for a person
like me, for example, is the confidence. I know
having the confidence to be able to embody this.
energy of confident leadership and being able
to command while being also really responsible
and present with all the energy and actions and
the craft itself. It takes a lot of skill. all
of it. And in this podcast episode, I want to
uncover some of these secrets and mysteries.
I guess my first thing that I want to ask you
to ensure that some of our listeners do not get
put off or scared by the usual stereotypes right
away. I would love to touch upon this notion
of exchange and consent and the beauty that both
people receive in this experience, right? So
in terms of being the slave, tell me what does
that mean and why a lot of people actually want
to embody that role? Well, I'm glad that you're
speaking of it in this way because you're right,
there are a lot of misconstrued ideas out there
about what dominatrix truly is. But at the same
time, there are many dominatrices, so -called
dominatrices out there who are doing these things
irresponsibly. Maybe they're untrained or whatnot.
So there has been a long time motto of BDSM.
BDSM stands for bondage and discipline. sadism
and masochism. And then the two middle initials
in the middle, DS, stands for dominance and submission.
So this is what we call it now. In the old days,
it was called SNM. It's now called BDSM. So the
longtime motto of BDSM is safe, sane, consensual.
But I am advocating to update that motto to safe,
sane, consensual, and ethical. Because ethics
and consent are not the same thing. You can get
someone's consent, but what you're doing might
not be ethical. So I'm teaching my dhams. I'm
a mentor. I teach dhams in an academy that I
call the Evolutionary Dominatrix Academy. So
I teach them how to be ethical dhams. And when
we are ethical dhams, we are serving the submissive's
highest good. So in the process of doing what
we're doing, it is actually very healing to the
sub. When a sub walks away from an experience
with a conscious and ethical dom, they are feeling
uplifted. They feel seen. They feel accepted
for who they are in their full kink selves, you
know, because actually the most common place
that we humans carry shame is in our sexuality.
And so when a submissive is seen for all of who
they are and all of their kinkiness, sometimes
this side of themselves isn't shown to anyone,
not even their spouses. It's very private and
a lot of them might feel a level of shame. It's
very common. Shame about desiring it, shame about
being who they are. And really, it's not something
that can be helped because kink sexuality is
an actual sexual orientation. It's like being
heterosexual or homosexual or asexual. Kink sexual
is something that you cannot help but be. So
when a submissive comes to a dominatrix and she
not only sees them for who they are and accepts
them for who they are, but want to actively engage
in the play with them, it's overwhelmingly loving
to do such a thing. Maybe they don't know it
on a conscious level, but unconsciously or subconsciously
they will feel it. They will feel this strong
sense of love and acceptance from the Dom. A
validation for who they are as a being. Now,
it's such a beautiful exchange where both people
can be truly themselves and express. And on the
surrender side, on the submissive side, I think
there is a lot of vulnerability that is in place.
Exactly. Yeah. Therefore, I'm really happy to
shed light on it. Would you break down what does
it mean to be kinky? Yes. The general definition
of being kinky is that you desire unconventional
sex. I mean, it could be as unconventional as
telling your partner that you want to tell them
exactly what to do because you want to be the
one in charge. You know, like, I want you to
worship me this way. I want you to worship me
that way. Do this to me. Do that to me. There's
already a power dynamic there. If you talk about
it like that, everyone's sort of kinky, you know?
So it's just desiring unconventional sexuality,
something that's unconventional or seen as anything
other than like for the purpose of making a baby.
That's true. When people describe the word kinky
and what it actually means, meaning unconventional
or not normal, the question becomes like, what
is normal? And then therefore the definition
becomes really broad. Yes, right. That's why
I think everyone's kinky. Yeah, exactly. Or it
means when they are brave to admit what they
truly desire, we can always find a kink. So how
did you become Deminatrix? What was your path?
My path was very unusual because I accidentally
became a dominatrix through the academic world.
So I have a PhD in clinical psychology, but I
also have a master's in counseling psychology,
which I did that program before the PhD. So when
I was in my master's program, I was given an
assignment from one of my teachers. There's a
book of disorders, it's called the Diagnostic
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's
called the DSM for short. And so here in the
United States, we have this book that's used
by psychologists and psychiatrists to diagnose
what mental illness people have. So you go through
the book and you're like, oh, okay, there's this
kind of severe depression and there's this kind
of manic disorder and this and that, you know,
different disorder. And so the most interesting,
fascinating one that I found in there was sexual
masochism. So I don't want to study all these
things that kind of sound depressing. I was never
into psychopathology. You know, it wasn't an
interest of mine. I wanted to understand how
people tick. That was my interest in psychology.
And so sexual masochism was the one I picked.
And so I had the option of finding someone to
interview for this paper. And so my sister told
me that she had this so -called slave that she
had met who was doing things for her, like running.
errands and cleaning her car and just doing things
like that for her. And she called him her slave.
Yeah. And so she didn't really know much about
it either. It wasn't like she was working in
a dungeon or anything like that. It was just
this guy that she met and said, you know, I want
to be your slave. I want you to just tell me
what to do for you. I want to serve you. And
so I interviewed him. When I interviewed him,
it was so fascinating to hear about the psychology
of why it was a turn on to him to be humiliated
mentally and emotionally, right? Because he was
rooted to pain, really. So masochism, the term
masochism doesn't only mean physical masochism.
It's mental masochism, emotional masochism, psychological,
on all levels. You know, you want to be hurt.
in some way, you know? And so for him, it was
humiliation, which is an extreme form of embarrassment,
right? He wanted to be humiliated, and that was
his kink. And so when I interviewed him, I found
him so intelligent. I had a lot of self -awareness
that I was like, wow, this is really, really
cool, you know? I didn't meet him in person for
this interview. It was on the phone. But it was
like maybe a... A few weeks after that or something,
my sister said, hey, you know that slave of mine
that you interviewed? Well, he's coming over
to help us pack. We were moving. My sister and
I were moving at the time because we were living
together. So she said, you got to be in dom mode.
When you come home from work, just keep your
high heels on, boss them around. So at the time,
I was working in a corporate environment as an
administrative assistant. And so I came home.
kept my high heels on, and for the first time
I see a submissive. And he was wearing women's
panties sitting in my living room, packing boxes,
right? And so I was thinking to myself, wow,
this is fascinating. I got a little thrill out
of seeing him like this. He didn't say anything
to me. I didn't say anything to him, but he knew
I was there and he was kind of, you know. And
so at one point he said to my sister, Miss, may
I use the bathroom? And she said, yes, go ahead,
but you have to sit on the toilet like a girl.
And so he, you know, I saw him like scurrying
over there to the bathroom, you know, and he
left the door a little bit cracked open, like
a few inches. And I wanted to follow him. I wanted
to see if he was actually sitting on the toilet,
like he was told. So I went over there and since
the door was open a little bit, I pushed it wide
open and I said, you don't get any privacy. That
was the first thing that I had said to him in
a dominant way. And he looked at me like, he
looked frozen. He looked scared. He did not expect
this to come from me. And so that was my first
sort of dom high. I got even more of a thrill
out of saying that to him than I did, you know,
just seeing him in panties. That was how it started.
Afterwards, he called me on the phone and he
said, you know, I think you have something here.
You know, there's some sort of natural ability
you have. Would you like to play with me? May
I also serve you? Can I come clean your house?
I moved into this tiny studio apartment. I said,
I want you to clean it. And so he did. He came
over and he would clean for me and pay me $50
every time while I just kind of ordered him around.
That's amazing. That was my very first session,
I guess. So that's how it started. I played with
him for like a couple of years. before I started
training kind of like my formal training as a
dominatrix with my mentors who I would go and
get trained by them with things like bondage
and whipping and flogging and the more of the
traditional BDSM activities that a dominatrix
would do. How is it training? What does the training
of a dominatrix entail? What do you learn? How
does it work? So when I was trained, I did a
series of weekend classes for 18 months. So for
eight months, I trained with them. It wasn't
like every single weekend, but it was many weekends
of the month. I'd take classes on cock and ball
bondage, nipple torture, flogging and whipping.
some more extreme things too, like cutting and
play piercing and things like that. You know,
the range of things that I learned were vast.
Because I came from a psychology background,
what I found was missing from my personal training,
from my mentors, was a psychological aspect because
you have to really get into the head of the submissive
in order to dominate them the right way. You
have to know how to verbally speak and say the
right things in order to get them to respond
to you and to connect with them as a dom to a
submissive. So that's why in my, when I teach
my mentees, the psychology is a big part of it.
So I teach a lot of psychological domination
and I teach some of the physical things as well.
Of course, I teach the traditional activities
as well. I want to really know all about what
you teach women in the academy, especially on
the psychological side. Just want to comment
on the psychological side and from my perspective
as a more of a naturally submissive person. I'm
discovering domination for myself. I'm getting
really curious and speaking to people like you
and bringing them on the podcast and doing events
together. Because where I see my challenge there,
I see that that's not something that's natural.
It's rather something that I would want to learn
from my personal empowerment. While on the submissive
side, I can feel how much depth of Not even pleasure,
but something beyond that, like a certain level
of relaxation and surrender that is not easy
to get elsewhere can be received from a domination,
submission kind of experience. While for me personally,
pain is not a big part of it. It's not like the
main thing that I would want to... receive, it's
more the psychological play of being in service
that for some reason puts me personally in a
state of bliss and letting go of the world around
that is so difficult to do in busy life. That's
a beautiful service of a dome. You're describing
what we call subspace. Yeah, right? Subspace
is amazing. Yeah, altered state. You're like
in a meditative state. Exactly. And I feel like
it's such an art that is required by a dominatrix
or by dom to hold such a space where someone
can truly let go. And I am curious on what to
you as a dominatrix. do to create such subspace
from psychological perspective. I teach with
four archetypes within a dominatrix. So I have
a book called the dominatrix archetypes, and
there are four main archetypes within a dominatrix.
The authoritarian, the seductress, the mother
and the queen. These are four archetypes within
the dominatrix. But when a dominatrix has all
of these aspects of herself, well developed,
then she is what I call a multi -dimensional
dominatrix. Where the skill comes from is if
I'm a multi -dimensional dominatrix, each archetype
is actually dominating different aspects of the
submissive. And there are different types of,
I call it connections. Like the authoritarian
is the mental connection. The seductress is the
erotic connection, the mother is the emotional
connection, and the queen is the spiritual connection.
And so when let's say you are my submissive,
I have to know you in such a way, I have to know
about who you are as an individual. what your
kink psychology is. Of course, we're going to
have lots of talks before we start playing. So
when I have a good understanding of what your
submissive kink psychology is, then I know what
levels of each archetype to pull out in me in
order to inspire the different responses that
I want to elicit from you. Let's just say that
you like a very nurturing and strict dominatrix.
So I will know, okay, well, and then I'm going
to pull out my authoritarian first and foremost
so that I can put down the rules. Lay down the
rules, tell you exactly how I want you to kneel
before me, where I want your eyes, how I want
your body to be positioned, everything. I will
tell you to listen only to my voice. Just very
controlled. This is the authoritarian. The mother
archetype is going to come out and say, there's
nothing that you need to already know as my beginning
submissive. Because I'm here to train you to
be exactly what I want you to be. So I don't
want you to even know anything. I want a blank
slate from you. So what your job is to do for
me is to completely let go and let your mind
go because I'm going to put the thoughts in your
mind. I'm going to put my thoughts into your
mind, your thoughts. are going to be out the
door. You're going to leave your thoughts at
the door. So I'm reassuring you, like, I don't
want you to worry about... Oh, am I doing things
right? Or whatever, you know. The seductress
part of me is going to be really important too,
because the seductress is the erotic connection
and there has to be an erotic connection in order
for this to be exciting. The eroticism is the
excitement part because if there's none of that,
there's no like eros, there's no fire, right?
And so when I say to you, so my seductress side
of me is going to say to you, now, when you serve
me, This pleasure isn't for you. All of you is
for me. So your body is now mine. I'm going to
use your body for my own pleasure. I'm going
to bind you. I'm going to hurt you in ways that
please me. The way that you derive happiness
is from pleasing me. And so there's nothing you
need to do just to let go and let me have you.
Because when I have you, you know, so I'm trying
to describe to you, like, this isn't about your
pleasure. Because if it's about your pleasure,
then now we're talking about top -bottom dynamic,
but dom -subdynamic is much more intense, emotionally
intense. It's about, like, I want what I want,
and you're here to serve me for those pleasures.
And if you get some pleasure out of it, that's
just a side effect. It's not my main... My main
goal is my pleasure, taking my pleasure from
you, from your pain, from your humiliation or
whatever it is. And then just to finish the archetypes,
the queen aspect of it would be like putting
you below me, making you know that I'm above
you. I want you below me. I want to see you below
me. My position is above you because I am dominant
and you are submissive. So you are to look up
to me. You are to worship me. There's a part
of me that is channeling the divine dark feminine
aspect into my person, right? The divine feminine
has light and dark aspects. They are all divine.
There's nothing evil or bad about the divine
dark. It's just the divine dark aspect of a woman
are menacing. We are in control. We are creative.
We are passionate, which we can play out in a
dominatrix. Yeah. To me, it sounds like a beautiful
and really responsible position. It's like you
bring through you so much in a position of a
dome. to me from a place of a something like,
well, you have to do so much work, like be so
present and so powerful and have all these ideas
and stay connected to your confidence and to
your power, like to your authority, which is
very impressive. And I wonder how do you teach
that to women in your academy, including the
archetypes, like how do you help embody each
archetype? Yeah. So I break it down. archetype
by archetype. It's an online academy, so I watch
them dominate online. They dominate either my
submissive coach, I have submissive coaches that
work for me in the academy, or they can dominate
their own submissive who is there with them in
a room or whatever. There's like lessons that
I provide for them describing each archetype
in the academy. I also describe these archetypes
in my book as well. So they study the archetypes
and then they dominate in the style of the, let's
say, authoritarian. And then I critique them.
I critique them and I say, oh, okay, so this
is what you said. I would have wanted you to
say it a little bit more dominantly, like this.
For example, the simplest lesson in the vocal
style of a dominatrix is that you speak in the
manner of a command, which is when you give a
command, there's a period at the end, not a question
mark, not a comma. It's very common for women
to speak in commas like, I want you to go over
there and bring me a glass of water and kneel
before me. I correct them and I say, Don't say,
I want you to bring me a glass of water. Say,
go get me a glass of water. Bring it to me here
now. And so it's simpler, it's more up to the
point. You know what you want and you express
it the way you want it. There's no like... hesitancy
in the way that it sounds, you know. So I just
kind of tweak their language and then, so the
way someone becomes a dominatrix is really the
practice of it. It's just practicing the way
you speak, practicing not only the way you speak,
but the way you, the way you exude your energy
because, you know, sometimes someone will say
something, but they don't sound dominant. They'll,
they'll sound like they're reading from a script
and it doesn't come from them. their authentic
energy, it sounds fake. So I train them, my sub
coaches also train them because it's very important
for them to get feedback from the submissive
point of view. How did they react from that?
How did they feel? Did they feel submissive hearing
that? So they get both the dominant mentor. as
a perspective and then the submissive, the very
experienced submissive perspective. Yeah. It
sounds like a training that every woman would
benefit from even if they don't want to be a
dominatrix. Oh, it is. It is. It so is because
it's a, and many women do come into the academy
with just the simple goal of becoming more of
their true selves, you know. So it is a personal
empowerment. Of course, for sure. Becoming brave
and liberating your voice. Yes. Because for a
lot of people just saying a command without making
it a question can be a huge challenge, but then
it's a transformative for our lives when we can
actually speak properly and say what we need
to say. Yeah. And you know, it's very useful
in life. Like, you know, like let's say you're
ordering from a menu and you're like to the white,
to the food server, you're like, hmm, I don't
know. Maybe I would like an appetizer. I don't
know, what do you recommend? It's very common,
right? Instead of like, I'd like to start with
an appetizer. Give me recommendation. Yeah, it
sounds like when more confidence in you gives
more freedom to whoever is serving. It takes
the pressure off of them. It really does take
the pressure off of them when you're not putting
so much responsibility on their side, even as
simple as a food server, you know? So now they
have to choose for you, you know what I mean?
Like they just want to take your order and go
to the kitchen. So, you know, I mean, of course
they're trained to give recommendations and all
of that, but in a food server's dream, everybody's
just going to give them what they want and they
can just go do their job. Yeah, but it is so
life -changing to be able to have this level
of confidence. It really is. Is there anything
else that is very interesting that you'd like
to share from the Academy? How do women learn?
I'm really curious. It's such an art, so I'm
curious how you teach. So I teach where I give
like my written lessons. I have slide presentations
about each concept so that they understand the
psychology of each concept that I'm teaching.
And then I have videos of me dominating. So they
watch me dominate and then they can see me dominating
and they can also watch their DOM sisters dominating
on the calls. So we meet on Zoom calls every
week. When there's one dom that's dominating
on the call, then the other doms who are watching
them, we call it a fishbowl domination where
the fish is in the bowl and we're all watching,
right? And so when the women watch, when the
other students watch the domination that's being
done by their dom sister, they're learning from
her domination style. They're learning from my
feedback and from the subcoach's feedback. It's
a very efficient way to learn because they get
so much inspiration from learning from different
styles of domination. Because it's really difficult
to, how do you learn domination from a book?
You can't really, you have to really see it and
experience it and feel the energy of it visually.
So that's what we do. And then also there's Q
&A, you know, I also do personal coaching. Whenever
any of my mentees has a question, she brings
it to the Zoom call. I answer it and we discuss
it in depth. You know, sometimes one question
takes 30 minutes to answer it because everybody's
learning from it, from this. Yeah. And what are
the most common challenges women face when they
want to learn to become a dom in your experience?
A common one is like, I think they're being too
nice. They're doing something that they think
is domination, but to me, it doesn't sound like
a dominatrix. And that's perfectly natural because
they don't have a lot of examples of a dominatrix
to experience, to hear, to see. And so when they
say, oh, I was being dominant to this person,
I always say, no, don't say please. Don't thank
them. Take those social niceties out of it. And
I had to learn this from when I first started,
too. I had to stop saying, thank you. I had to
stop saying, you're welcome, when a missive thanks
me. Let's say I give an order to a submissive,
kneel in front of me, avert your eyes downward.
You're not allowed to look at me unless I tell
you to. Yes, mistress. Thank you, mistress. You're
welcome. It just, it kind of like downplays the,
takes away the dominance. So I teach, don't say
you're welcome. Don't have the, it's kind of
like a automatic response, socially ingrained
response to say you're welcome. We're not obliged
to say anything. We're the dominatrix. I don't,
you know, I'm not obliged to say any niceties
and they don't expect it. And also when a dom
is too nice, The submissive feels uncomfortable.
For sure. You sound like you've been there before.
Yeah, it feels uncomfortable because you're thinking
now they don't think that they can be dominant
enough to me. You know, you want your dom. It's
like a power, right? Like if you're not confident
that your dom has enough power, then you can't
really relax. Yes, exactly. Exactly. You can't
really relax. You want to say in your mind, oh,
you don't have to say that. In your mind, you're
saying that or you're feeling that. You don't
have to say you're welcome. The common thing
is the social niceties and also Filler words
like a lot of filler words. It's how we talk
in conversation We say okay this okay that and
so we take those away and it sounds much more
streamlined So, okay. Okay sub now do this for
me. Okay now do this Instead of like now take
those away. I teach them take those away now
say Slave do this slave go there come here now
instead of the filler words, you know? Take those
away. Kind of like how you would command a dog.
You would command a dog, say, sit, roll over.
You don't say, okay now dog, it's time for you
to roll over. You don't say that. You say short
commands. They want a master in you. So another
thing I see here is like getting rid of the nice
girl complex. Right, right. Because you don't
have to take care of them. You know, they don't
want you to take care of them. They want you
to command them. They want you to be in control
of them. The job of a dominatrix is not to be
responsible for their feelings because they've
already given you the power. You want to be in
this fantasy world where you're with the dominant.
And so you want to let go of that feeling of
it being in the normal world. So you want to
speak as different from yourself as possible.
Brings me to a question of what is it like to
actually live your life as a dominatrix? Because
it's such a powerful position and something that
is so mysterious for most people. What's your
life like? Well, you know, I have two beautiful
daughters, two teenage daughters. They're just
the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful, very,
very confident as well. beings. And I think that
I really believe that my example of knowing who
I am and speaking my mind and being a confident
woman in charge has really given them that example
to see because I think that it's very important,
especially for a mom of daughters, to be able
to be this type of woman as an example. You know,
when I have had to raise daughters, I actually
read a parenting book a long time ago when my
children were like in preschool and it said very
similar things as I do as a Dom. It said when
you want to be in charge of your children, they
want you to be in control and in charge. The
way that you want to order them to do something
is you say very short, go brush your teeth now
or even teeth now. or something like that and
it says it doesn't it says the wrong way to parent
is why haven't you why haven't you brush your
teeth you know it's already really first you're
very late for bedtime already like i i i told
you already a half an hour ago to brush your
teeth now to the child out it sounds like it
sounds like nagging nagging yeah yeah when you
when you eliminate the words and make it very
streamline brush your teeth it sounds very like
confident you're not being mean. It doesn't sound
mean. It just sounds like it's time to brush
your teeth now. They want that. They need leadership
from you. Your children need leadership. They
don't want to nag. Unconsciously, when a parent
nags, the child thinks, oh, you know, then I'm
just going to do this tomorrow. I'm going to
like wait a half an hour and let her nag me a
half an hour later. You know, they think that
you're not confident enough. when you're doing
that. It's a signal of like a little lack of
confidence. I've sensed it. I had some massive
like light bulb in my life that I feel like really
helped me as an entrepreneur. It's on the energetics
of feeling someone else's confidence. I remembered
that with this one moment forever and then I
did relate to it when I was studying a bit of
this power dynamics. That was on the business
meeting. And I feel like all these dominatrix
skills are so useful when you want to be a woman
in business. But in terms of feeling whether
someone is confident or no, definitely affects
the performance of that one person that is being
assessed for their confidence. But I felt in
one moment that when I was pitching for investment
for a few hundred thousand pounds, which is a
serious investment when I'm 22 years old, And
I was pitching to this banker in a restaurant
and I had like these papers with financial protections,
like lots of papers. And he was looking at them
and he asked me a question that I couldn't answer.
I was like, oh shit, I have no idea. But I felt
that in that moment, it's not the answer that
matters. It's the confidence that I will show
to him that it's going to be fine if he gives
me the money. So instead I connected to something
in my body and I was like... I'm just going to
show him that I know what I'm doing. And I changed
how I feel. I did not explain what he asked.
I just told him it's going to be fine. And he
agreed to invest. And I was like, another part
of me would usually be like... shit, I just need
to tell him what is it exactly. I tried to get
the answer, but I just felt that he wants just
the reassurance. And a lot of the time, many
people and children and subs, and there is always
some sort of power that I'm going on all the
time. And people just want confidence. Right,
right, right. Yeah, I think that's great. You
know, you can confidently, like in your situation
that you just described, you can confidently
say to the person, you know, I don't know the
answer to that, but I can tell you that I have
this very organized plan, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, right? Yeah, exactly. Instead of trying
to answer or lie or something like that. We're
coming to an end, but I have some spicy questions.
Great. I want to hear from you. What is it that
you like? Well, you know, I've been a professional
dominatrix now for, this is my 26th year and
I've been a lifestyle dom for close to 30 years
now. So I've been a dominatrix for a long time.
And so when I play, I play very high level. I
play very sadistically. So I have a lot of submissives
that I own as submissives. They are my lifestyle
-owned slaves. And so what turns me on is the
aspect of force. Whenever a submissive, let's
say, doesn't want to do something, it turns me
on to make them do it. So of course, I'm never
going to cross any hard limit lines. There's
going to be some hard, but if there's some soft
limits, I like to push those boundaries. So pushing
boundaries, you know, and pushing them towards
the way that I want, those things are very delicious
to me. Yeah, I see. And what is it like to have
these established slaves? I mean do you order
them to clean your house regularly as well like
is this something that you do or it's um well
I so I don't have them clean the inside of my
house because you know I do live a vanilla lifestyle
here with my family but I have several slaves
and I have a one slave who's like a handyman
you know he comes and he fixes things he puts
up my Christmas lights when it's around the holidays.
He does things like that. He's even, you know,
does things like take my animals to the vet if
I need that or whatever. He does sort of like
these types of things that are not like cleaning,
cleaning. I do have a cleaning slave that cleans
my dungeon. I have another space where I don't
live. It's where my BDSM dungeon is. And so I
have a cleaning slave over there and he cleans
for me a couple of times a week, gets down on
his knees, scrubs the floor, just really cleans
it. And it just so happens that my maid that
I hire for my home is also a man. And I just
found him. You pay him, right? I pay him. Yes.
I found him from a cleaning service and I've
had female maids before, but I find it very easy
to order men around. And so I prefer him. He's
great, you know, but he's, it's a business relationship
here. Yeah. I just had to ask this question.
This is my greatest family. Just somebody cleaning
my house as I order them, but I'll get there.
Oh yeah, it's amazing. All my slaves do different
things for me. I have a secretary who's a slave
of mine who does all the secretary and administrative
stuff for me. I have another one who's a graphic
artist and I'm always needing graphic art and
video editing and things like that. And so they
do those things for me. So all of my needs, I
sort of fit somebody in there somewhere, whatever
they're good at. That's incredible. Yeah, I'm
doing a three -day workshop this weekend in my
studio. So I have this new studio. slave of mine
who I'm kind of like, I'm trying them out, you
know, and he's done really well. He spent like
hours shampooing my carpet because I have these
huge rugs at my studio. So he spent like hours
shampooing them and getting my space prepared
for the workshop this weekend. I love it. I love
it. It's a wonderful life. Yes, I mean, the thing
is, like, I always show my slaves appreciation
because we're not like in a scene where I'm not
saying thank you. So when I'm outside with scene
and it's my normal life, I thank my slaves. I
tell them how much I appreciate them. They feel
good from the praise, you know? Sounds like aftercare.
That was Mistress Damianachy. And if you're interested
in learning the art of domination, we invite
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