1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,360 Our wild, dark, erotic sides are where our power truly lies. 2 00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:13,340 And yet exactly this side of us, women, had been shamed and suppressed for centuries all 3 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:14,340 over the world. 4 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:21,200 And now is the time that we finally learn how to look into our shadows, how to connect 5 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:28,320 to our sexuality, and how to play and love our entire selves. 6 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,560 Now is the time that we learn how to love and express ourselves fully and truly and 7 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,200 embrace the wholeness of a living experience in a female body. 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:43,480 In this episode I speak to Fiona MacCoss, a woman's mentor and transformational facilitator 9 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:49,600 in service to wild feminine embodiment, the erotic and the authentic. 10 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:56,000 She is passionate about awakening and activating unapologetic feminine energy and guiding women 11 00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:03,000 back to the truths of their body, their sexuality, their voice, their pleasure, and their purpose. 12 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:09,480 You will learn about the dark feminine, the wild woman archetype, and shadow work, one 13 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:14,600 of the most transformational and powerful personal growth tools. 14 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:23,000 And explore ways of how you yourself can open up to more empowerment, expression, and authenticity 15 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:29,360 by connecting to the parts of yourself that you might have been avoiding or suppressing. 16 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:36,360 For us women, it is possible to have it all and embody our truth and power in all areas 17 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,360 of life. 18 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:44,600 Feminine Power Podcast is your guide to reconnecting with your feminine essence, reclaiming your 19 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:49,320 power and rising into your fullest potential. 20 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:56,600 I'm your host Maria Grinina, co-founder of F.I.L., the Feminine Embodiment Platform. 21 00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:02,480 And here on this podcast I interview our expert community and our members. 22 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:10,600 And we together share transformative tools, intimate conversations, and embodiment practices, 23 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:16,160 bringing you a wealth of wisdom and practical tools to support your journey. 24 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:22,020 Follow this podcast for your weekly inspiration and if you'd like to go deeper into your 25 00:02:22,020 --> 00:02:28,820 embodiment journey and the awakening of your sexual energy, check out our online membership 26 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:32,440 linked in this podcast description. 27 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:38,840 We've been conditioned to be nice and to people please and to be good, to fit in. 28 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:47,560 It's a safety mechanism that we've adopted over millennia of being the lesser sex. 29 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:54,520 We went from being the goddess incarnate to slave and subservient in a matter of centuries, 30 00:02:54,520 --> 00:03:00,360 maybe even decades as the father god religions were really taking hold. 31 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:05,760 And as all the sacred sites that worshiped and venerated women were destroyed and all 32 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:14,600 of the pagan ways of living were kind of rewritten into Christianity and dogma, women, our role 33 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:20,720 and our worth shifted from being equal to lower than men. 34 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:26,920 And so we had to learn very quickly to be good, to be acceptable, to fit the rules of 35 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:31,580 the society at the time in order to survive. 36 00:03:31,580 --> 00:03:38,520 And so we developed a very strong like foreign response to danger, to threat, which could 37 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,960 have been father, could have been side, could have been husband, could have been brother, 38 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,840 could have been friend. 39 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:52,160 And this if we think like epigenetically or collectively, ancestrally is such a strong 40 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:59,800 imprint in our psyche and our soma that it's really only in the last decade or this century 41 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:06,840 that women are actually learning to unfreeze our systems and to find a sense of safety 42 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,980 in power and inequality. 43 00:04:10,980 --> 00:04:16,880 Because before we could have died at the hands of our fathers or at the hands of men for 44 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:24,600 being outspoken, for being a sexual woman, for having a job, for all of the things that 45 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,640 threatened men's status. 46 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:33,760 And it was just safer for us to follow the rules than to be outcast onto the fringes 47 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,080 of society and be homeless and have to fend for ourselves. 48 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:44,200 So we've kind of learned this really distorted dependency with men and with the masculine, 49 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,680 we see the victim, we see the damsel. 50 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:53,680 And now we're really beginning to challenge these shadows and these archetypes that are 51 00:04:53,680 --> 00:05:02,080 so in our subconscious and so natural to so many of us and actually find safety in power. 52 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:06,880 And also what that means is having to redefine what power means. 53 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:13,400 Because I think for so many women too, all we've learned of power is power over, domination, 54 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,200 violence, suppression, silencing. 55 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:23,960 That's how the old paradigm exerted their power is like from the top down. 56 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:28,440 Whereas women as we're rewriting and re-experiencing power, it's like a circular power. 57 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,480 It's like I have power, you have power, we have power together. 58 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,440 We give another woman power, we empower each other. 59 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:38,480 It's not about who has the most power, I win. 60 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,600 It's like how can we all hold and be in our power together? 61 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,320 And I think that's really shifting. 62 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:47,680 It's still obviously we're not fully there yet. 63 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:53,320 But I think there's a lot of swinging back of the balance and the pendulum when women 64 00:05:53,320 --> 00:06:00,300 go from such a state of like fall or freeze or feeling of disempowerment and having been 65 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:06,240 violated in whatever way to then being like, fuck this and go full wild woman. 66 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,040 But actually it's not the wild woman. 67 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:13,220 It's like a very distorted shadowy expression of the dark feminine, of everything that's 68 00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:15,680 been repressed in them collectively. 69 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:21,160 And it comes out like chaos, destruction, it's harmful. 70 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:25,600 It's not expressed in integrity and it's not expressed in a grounded way. 71 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:31,120 And this is why most people don't understand the difference between dark, wild and shadow. 72 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:36,560 They just think the wild and the dark is the shadow because not many people have a healthy 73 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:42,080 understanding or role model of how to express everything that they've repressed up to that 74 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,080 point. 75 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,080 Yeah. 76 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,080 And I get it. 77 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:49,120 It can feel so rebellious to just be like, fuck this, fuck the system, fuck the patriarchy 78 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,120 and go and like create mayhem. 79 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:57,120 But it's like, okay, well actually that's just fighting fire with fire and that's not 80 00:06:57,120 --> 00:07:05,720 actually creating any collective change or beneficial impact to anyone. 81 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:06,720 Beautiful. 82 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,840 I feel like, whoa, we can unpack quite a few things here. 83 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:18,440 And I want to bring it into context by sharing a little bit of my story that came just as 84 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,920 you've been describing the generational conditioning. 85 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:27,560 The image of what my grandmother shared with me came through because in my family, on my 86 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:32,160 father's line, my grandmother is a powerful entrepreneur woman. 87 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:39,000 And in Soviet Union, back when she was growing up and in her 20s, 30s, 40s, basically her 88 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,520 major life was still Soviet Union and entrepreneurship was not legal. 89 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,640 You could not even run your own business. 90 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:50,480 Even selling your vegetables was not really allowed because you had to receive only from 91 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,180 the government and only what they say. 92 00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:58,160 And she was growing vegetables in one area and then knew that in the other village they 93 00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,240 don't have food now. 94 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,240 So she would go and like sell them there. 95 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,760 She was always an entrepreneur and then she built lots of businesses. 96 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:09,680 What happened to her once is, I mean, she had a lot of shit coming through to her as 97 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,680 a result, like a single mother trying to make money in those times. 98 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:21,080 And once the people came to take away the money and they've put an iron onto her body 99 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:26,160 to torture her because they wanted to take away the money because she wasn't supposed 100 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,280 to be making the money. 101 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:34,480 Long way forward from that, now me building my business, living in London, trying to be 102 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,080 that, you know, have it all. 103 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:41,600 I have so much block around making my own money. 104 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:46,100 Although I've made a lot and I'm like, I'm an established entrepreneur and I'm working 105 00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,680 on that a lot. 106 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:51,780 But on the nervous system level, I have to go through so much contraction and I've been 107 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:55,820 addressing this generational trauma of women cannot make money. 108 00:08:55,820 --> 00:08:57,400 It's dangerous to make money. 109 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,920 If you make money, you're not going to be loved by men or you can't have relationships 110 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,740 or you're not going to be a good mother. 111 00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:10,600 So much conditioning while it was my conscious self, I understand this is an opportunity 112 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,640 to work through it. 113 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:19,220 But I'm feeling like, whoa, we women, we have to look into the depth of what is it that's 114 00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:23,440 in the way of us getting what we want because there is a lot. 115 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:29,480 And coming from here into the concept of shadow is that's what I thought I can lead into with 116 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,060 this story. 117 00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:34,800 How can we work on these things? 118 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:39,960 In your view, how do we work on all these conditionings we have around power? 119 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,960 Where do we start? 120 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,440 Where do we start? 121 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:52,000 I think a really easy place is just with a pen and paper and getting really honest with 122 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:56,200 yourself, but being like, okay, what is the thing that I want? 123 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,200 Same money. 124 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:03,920 And then take a little sip of true serum and be like, right, what are all the fucking bullshit 125 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:11,160 things I tell myself around why I can or cannot have money, why I can or cannot hold money? 126 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,480 What are the fears that I have around money? 127 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:21,280 And beginning, it might be like, oh, I'm afraid if I have money, I might spend it all or I'm 128 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:27,280 afraid if I have money, my friends will think I'm a rich bitch, whatever. 129 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:33,720 All of the things, but just get it out because it's like, as soon as we see these things 130 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,520 and write them down on a piece of paper, we give it consciousness and we see, it's like 131 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:39,480 we take the bite out of some of it. 132 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,440 It doesn't mean that they're gone poof forever. 133 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,940 That's not how it works. 134 00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:47,880 But we're getting really honest with ourselves and holding ourselves accountable at some 135 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,280 of the things that we know we narrate inside us. 136 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,840 It's like, this is not our voice. 137 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,880 This is the voice of patriarchy. 138 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,320 This is a voice of parents. 139 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:03,440 This is a voice of whoever, uncle, whoever told us the thing that keeps us spiraling 140 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,800 into this self doubt is not our voice. 141 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:14,380 And so in doing this really brave self inquiry of finding those shadows and finding the beliefs 142 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:18,800 and then feeling where they're held in the body, so you might pick one out of the list 143 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:24,240 and be like, oh, okay, I'm scared of having too much money because I'm going to spend 144 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,760 it all and then be like, oh, where does that fear come up? 145 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,680 Oh, I can feel it in my solar plexus. 146 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:33,880 Okay, I'm going to breathe into that feeling and I feel that feeling in my solar plexus. 147 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:39,720 I'm going to let it be there because we have such a fear of feeling uncomfortable things 148 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:42,960 that it's like, oh, I'm feeling fear in my body. 149 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:44,720 Oh, I just want to get rid of it. 150 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:49,040 I'm going to go scroll on my phone or I'm going to go drink a glass of wine or I'm going 151 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,960 to go eat some chocolate or something. 152 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,960 I mean, we've all been there. 153 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,460 I do it. 154 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:57,200 And it's like, okay, well, how can we actually sit with what's uncomfortable? 155 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,840 So we're sitting with both the story, but we're sitting also with the feeling. 156 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:08,640 I think it's less about getting rid of it, but actually creating more space for it. 157 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,680 So that then it's like, okay, this is here again. 158 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,480 Oh, I see you. 159 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,520 I know that this is a story that I heard from my mom. 160 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,520 Okay. 161 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:24,760 And each time we gain more conscious awareness on the story, on the feeling, we can move 162 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:27,960 through it a lot quicker. 163 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,080 So here, would you in a nutshell explain what is shadow work? 164 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:36,200 Because I understand you're describing it and I would love to share with listeners in 165 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:41,400 a little bit in a nutshell, what does that mean and why does it work so well? 166 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:48,160 The term shadow was coined by Carl Jung, a psychoanalyst in the mid 1900s. 167 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:53,400 He really brought unconscious and subconscious work to the mainstream. 168 00:12:53,400 --> 00:13:01,840 And it's essentially, the shadow is essentially beliefs, behaviors that are deemed unacceptable 169 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:08,440 in a vertical by our society, by our family, by our culture, that we may recognize that 170 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:19,120 we have, but we deny them space, that we deny them visibility, we deny them feeling or validations. 171 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,560 A lot of the times it could be something sexual. 172 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:25,360 There's usually a lot of like sexual shadows because like, oh my goodness, I can't possibly 173 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,360 have that king. 174 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,720 Or like, oh my goodness, I can't possibly want that thing. 175 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:36,880 And so in feeling that there's this rubbing up against what's acceptable and what's unacceptable, 176 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:40,760 what's in the good camp and what's in the bad camp, whatever we think is in the bad 177 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:45,800 camp, we shove away into the dark crevices of the subconscious. 178 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,080 And then sometimes it becomes unconscious. 179 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:54,800 It becomes so repressed that because we're not going into the dark and we're not kind 180 00:13:54,800 --> 00:14:01,080 of shining a light on these pains, these parts of us that are unacknowledged, they become 181 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:06,680 really distorted and can kind of come out in harmful and dangerous ways. 182 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:11,640 Because if we actually do the work and the shadow work to go into the subconscious and 183 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:18,600 unconscious and realize what are all the stories and I'm not actually allowing myself to believe? 184 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:24,200 What are all the desires and I'm not allowing myself to acknowledge? 185 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,200 What of myself am I denying? 186 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:34,880 And I think in order to step into our unapologetic wild essence, we have to get really brave 187 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:40,080 at doing the shadow work, at looking at our bullshit and looking at the too much wound. 188 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:48,240 It's like if we don't really look at the beliefs that underpin why we think we're too much, 189 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:53,560 we're just going to be chained by this word too much for the rest of our lives. 190 00:14:53,560 --> 00:15:00,160 In order to inhabit our wholeness, we must integrate everything and that's the good and 191 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:04,760 the bad and remove all the fucking labels in the first place. 192 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:09,200 To me, this is the most powerful work that I would do for myself. 193 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:13,880 If I want to change something or receive something or get myself to the next level, it is a shadow 194 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,680 that I would usually want to see. 195 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:21,840 I wish more people in the world understand this and do more of this because in reality 196 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:29,020 in our dopamine driven, fast-paced, numb world, what we usually do is just we run away from 197 00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:30,020 everything. 198 00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:34,440 We only want to feel good things and then the bad things, we'll label them bad and then 199 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,680 we just never look at them and then we're stuck forever. 200 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:44,160 That's so important to understand and integrate and work with it. 201 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,600 Having said that, what's the difference between the dark and the shadow? 202 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,600 Let's get there. 203 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,480 I will get there in one second. 204 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:57,000 I also just want to add something just to the last point is because our good gut conditioning 205 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:02,920 is so strong, it's also why we're so afraid of doing the shadow work because we just want 206 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:03,920 to be perfect. 207 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,120 We're in denial so much of the time. 208 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,160 We're like, I can't possibly have any shadows. 209 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,560 I can possibly have anything wrong with me. 210 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:20,600 It's like in that pedestalizing of our perfection, we feel the split within us so much. 211 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:25,840 We feel the split between light and dark, light and shadow, good and bad so much because 212 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:33,120 we haven't integrated our wholeness and that involves the ugly as well as the imperfect 213 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,880 as well as the perfect. 214 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:39,560 If anybody wants to explore more of this one book that's really good is Existential Kink 215 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,560 by Carolyn Elliott. 216 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,680 It's a really good place to start if you're new to shadow work. 217 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:49,240 That is a really helpful tool to have on your bookcase always if you want a helpful guide 218 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,520 into shadow work and brave self-inquiry. 219 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,520 Beautiful. 220 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:59,040 I will link it in this episode notes. 221 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,480 You asked me what's the difference between dark and shadow. 222 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,480 Yeah. 223 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:10,000 As I said, the shadow is everything that we deem unacceptable and everything that we feel 224 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,520 is unwelcome to express. 225 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:18,960 The dark feminine, essentially this is like the original blueprint of feminine, what feminine 226 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,960 is, the original blueprint of woman. 227 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:30,200 Because as we've been talking about, the good girl and the light aspects of the feminine 228 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,580 have been given so much airtime in this world. 229 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:42,400 We love the maiden, we love the mother, the virgin, the Madonna, these aspects and archetypes 230 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,240 of woman are venerated. 231 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:53,040 We see them on try and think of Aphrodite, her golden hair and her voluptuous body. 232 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,520 This is woman through the male gaze. 233 00:17:55,520 --> 00:18:01,360 She's either virgin and pure or she's mothering and holy. 234 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:06,560 That's what we've all been told through our society and culture of millennia, patriarchy 235 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:11,120 is what a good woman should be and then what's acceptable. 236 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:16,440 So anything that's not that has been repressed into the shadow. 237 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:22,560 That mostly is the dark feminine because the qualities of the dark feminine are like the 238 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:29,840 archetypes would be the hag, the witch, the crone, the wild woman, the seductress, the 239 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:30,840 whore. 240 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:38,120 I love these aspects of the feminine that connect us to our wildness, to our magic, 241 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:46,660 to our mystery, to our mysticism, to our sex, to our pleasure, to our seduction, to cycles 242 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:56,440 of life, death, rebirth, to our wisdom, to our aging process, to decay, to our blood. 243 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,720 That doesn't go along with what we want to see a virgin and mother. 244 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:01,720 We're like society is like, oh, that's horrible. 245 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:02,720 That's ugly. 246 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:03,720 That's messy. 247 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:04,720 That's gross. 248 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:05,720 We don't want to see that or that's too tempting. 249 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:11,320 You know, if it doesn't fit in the Bible's version of woman, it's shoved into the shadow. 250 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,480 But actually that is what is the dark feminine. 251 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:20,600 So the dark feminine is not the shadow, but we've been made to feel that it is because 252 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:24,240 of it not having a place in this world. 253 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,720 But actually the dark feminine is like, is everything. 254 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,560 It's the fertile landscape of the feminine. 255 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,480 It's like nothing grows without the dark feminine. 256 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,820 There's no life without death. 257 00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:38,000 There's no life without sex. 258 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:44,220 There's no life without seduction because what we bring two people together, the qualities 259 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:50,800 of the feminine that make women truly powerful are the dark feminine. 260 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:57,580 But because as we've been saying, that is too threatening for the men who are in power. 261 00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:03,160 We had to deny and reject all that and become the good girl because we were slaves, we were 262 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,440 commoditized, we were sold, we were bartered. 263 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:11,400 There is a real cultural returning to the dark and there's, you know, lots of people 264 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:16,500 are talking about it now and offering really beautiful medicine and journeys back to owning 265 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:20,640 and embodying their dark feminine. 266 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:25,160 And I think it's like, you know, this pendulum swinging is we've been so far in the light, 267 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:31,320 we've been so far in the good girl that there is, there has to be this kind of swinging 268 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,200 back until we find a kind of a middle ground and an equilibrium. 269 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:41,180 I think a lot of people, myself included, swung really hard the other way. 270 00:20:41,180 --> 00:20:45,400 And so I always want to just caveat and say like, the dark feminine is not about what 271 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:50,120 you look like, it's not about what you wear, it's not about what you fucking say. 272 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,600 It's about how wholly you accept all of yourself. 273 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,600 Yeah. 274 00:20:54,600 --> 00:21:00,000 Now it sounds when you describe the dark feminine for me like this is the most juicy things, 275 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,560 like most amazing powerful things that had to get here. 276 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:10,280 What I've been remembering now, I'm like, whoa, I had this fantasy of just stripping. 277 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:15,240 I'm like, I want to be, can I just work as a stripper for like a couple of days or weeks? 278 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,240 Is that okay? 279 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,720 And I'm like, hmm, such a bad thought. 280 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,360 Oh my God, I'm so dirty. 281 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,360 I'm so terrible. 282 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,360 I would never do that. 283 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,960 I cannot tell anyone about it. 284 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:28,080 And it's like that's what would empower me so, so much. 285 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:34,480 Now I mean, that's for me, this is now an exercise that I do to like embody my previously 286 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:39,560 rejected part and where I would feel, oh my God, now I feel so good. 287 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:44,880 I would never be able to feel like that as a nice girl. 288 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:51,160 So what else can we women do to rewild our nature to also come back to the darkness, 289 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:56,600 to embody it, to love it and to stop rejecting it so much? 290 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:57,600 That's a great question. 291 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,680 I love that you do that. 292 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:04,760 And I actually think I have a very similar desire and it's such a common one too, especially 293 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,120 this integrating of the whole. 294 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:11,160 Yeah, like subverting the male gaze. 295 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,880 Yeah, like I want to do it for me. 296 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:15,880 Exactly. 297 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:22,000 It's such an empowering practice and there's so many more pole dancing studios now than 298 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:27,200 there have been and so many women going into like empowered stripping and things stepping 299 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:33,720 into sexual empowerment in that way is a really potent gateway. 300 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:44,160 But for rewilding ourselves, I actually really think it starts with the menstrual cycle. 301 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:52,320 If we don't understand our innate cycle and our inner rhythms, we're kind of just lying 302 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,360 to ourselves anyway. 303 00:22:54,360 --> 00:23:01,500 So I think really asking yourself what kind of contraception am I taking and why? 304 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:06,480 When I come back to the natural rhythm of my cycles, what kind of products do I use? 305 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,320 Am I afraid of my blood? 306 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,560 Why am I afraid of my blood? 307 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,120 How can I get really intimate with my mess, my chaos? 308 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:19,440 Because as soon as you start connecting with your cycle, you're in your dark feminine, 309 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:25,360 you're integrating the wholeness of all the archetypes in one cycle. 310 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,280 And so that's a micro of a macro. 311 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,840 So I think start there is like baby step. 312 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,880 And then when you understand the inner cycle that you're moving to, you kind of extrapolate 313 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:40,320 that and be like, okay, now I'm noticing that I am so many different versions of myself 314 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,560 within this cycle. 315 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,600 And then exploring maybe the latter half of the cycle. 316 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:51,000 So like the premenstrual, whatever you connect to most, the wild woman in this phase or the 317 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,400 priestess. 318 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,960 And then in your bleeding phase, the wise woman or the crow or the hag and really spending 319 00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:07,560 time rewriting your relationship to the negative part of your cycle is such a powerful gateway 320 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:14,280 into just self acceptance and compassion for parts of yourself and parts of the collective 321 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,360 and parts of women that you may have denied before. 322 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:22,200 How many times do we just take the contraceptive pill to just not bleed? 323 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:27,320 Or we take loads of paracetamol to not feel our cramps. 324 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:31,000 And it's like, we're not really in tune with what's happening in our body. 325 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,840 And so it's like, we want to actually get really ugly with ourselves. 326 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:36,480 We want to kind of be in a bit of pain. 327 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:42,680 We want to die so that it brings us closer to actually what it is that we've been repressing 328 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,780 on a larger scale. 329 00:24:45,780 --> 00:24:49,440 And I think for the wildness piece, again, it's not about where you live. 330 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,920 You don't have to move to a cabin in the woods. 331 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,520 You don't have to grow your armpit hair out. 332 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,480 You don't have to do all these radical things. 333 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,960 You might want to, but it's not like how you will rewild yourself. 334 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,760 It could start very simply. 335 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:09,120 It just starting to strip away the masks and starting to strip away the artificiality from 336 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:16,720 your life and getting really honest with who you are beneath all of the facade, beneath 337 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:23,920 the performance, beneath the filters, beneath the fucking makeup, all this shit that we 338 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:29,360 feel that we need to have in front of ourselves, like a shield before we step out into the 339 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:34,760 world, removing all of that, like stripping away the veil. 340 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:35,760 That is wild. 341 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:36,760 That is wildness. 342 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,920 It's just truth. 343 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:39,920 It's just authenticity. 344 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:44,640 It's like, who are you as an organic expression of yourself? 345 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:50,760 Yeah, as I'm listening to this, I'm like, well, if I was listening to it as more of 346 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:53,440 a teenager, I would be very scared of it. 347 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:59,000 As a teenager, I'm like, well, no makeup, no all of these things that I'm supposed to 348 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000 have. 349 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,240 No, who are these weird women? 350 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:07,480 No, as more of an adult, I understand how empowering this all is and how amazingly it 351 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:12,160 contributes to a beautiful life. 352 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,880 What does it do for a woman when she starts rewilding, when she starts connecting to her 353 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:22,040 cycle, when she starts to just be more herself this way? 354 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:27,080 I think it's important to mention for a lot of women, the first thing that comes up is 355 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:37,100 grief, deep sadness and grief for maybe years that they've lost, living in a way that's 356 00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:43,600 inauthentic to themselves or being in relationships where misaligned to who they are or even dangerous 357 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:49,040 or violent, especially an older woman who might be like, oh my God, I wish I came across 358 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:54,000 this work or this permission slip is really what it is. 359 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:59,400 I wish I had given myself the permission slip younger in life. 360 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:04,720 There might need to be a little bit of grieving and mourning for that, but ultimately, what 361 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:10,360 it feels like to me anyway is you just get to breathe fuller and breathe more deeply 362 00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:16,480 and live without that heavy burden or worry every day of like, oh, I need to be perfect. 363 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:17,840 I need to get it right. 364 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,840 I need to be good. 365 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:26,640 When you really step into your wildness and give yourself full permission to be you, it's 366 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:30,800 not that you care less, but you use the care and the worry that you would have for something 367 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:37,360 else for something way more important than how you think you're perceived in the world. 368 00:27:37,360 --> 00:27:44,880 To me and to my clients, it's like they just feel like this huge sense of coming home. 369 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:52,760 I know that it's like they didn't realize that they needed it until they found themselves 370 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:53,760 again. 371 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:59,720 They don't realize how maybe disconnected or distant they are from themselves until 372 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:04,400 they do the work of stripping everything away and they come back to that truth. 373 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,640 It's like, oh shit. 374 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,680 It can be quite affronting sometimes because it can be like, oh my God, these are all the 375 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,360 ways that I self-sabotage. 376 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,840 These are all the ways that I've thrown obstacles in front of me so that I couldn't get to where 377 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,200 I needed to go. 378 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:25,520 Actually what it feels like to me is just to give this huge permission slip of like, 379 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:30,520 you just get to be who you were fucking born to be. 380 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:35,000 A lot of it to me feels a rewilding work is like inner child work. 381 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,800 To me, the wild woman and our inner child walk hand in hand. 382 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,040 In order to be wild, we need to feel safe. 383 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,160 Our inner child needs to feel safe. 384 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:48,560 In order for our inner child to feel safe, it needs the protection of the wild woman. 385 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:55,480 To me, these two aspects walk hand in hand and it can feel really beautiful kind of returning 386 00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:00,040 back to that child. 387 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:05,840 If you are resonating with this episode and you are ready to take your embodiment journey 388 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:12,520 to the next level, I invite you to join the F.I.L.E membership, your guide on a journey 389 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:18,240 of reconnecting with and embodying the power of your feminine energy. 390 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:24,920 As a member, you'll get access to the daily embodiment practices created by our powerful 391 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:29,720 experts and become a part of our community. 392 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:35,920 Knowledge that you receive on this podcast is gold, but the real change happens when 393 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,000 you integrate these learnings into your life. 394 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:46,720 With our online membership, you can cultivate a consistent self-love and embodiment practice 395 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,040 to nurture your energy. 396 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:54,100 Our members are experiencing profound shifts from healing past traumas to reigniting their 397 00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:58,160 sensual fire to manifesting their wildest dreams. 398 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:00,560 And we want that for you too. 399 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:06,600 So if you are feeling the call to go deeper, check this podcast description for the link 400 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,600 to join our membership. 401 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:15,160 Well, I would love you to share and maybe let's talk about the work itself because it's 402 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:20,160 so beautiful what you describe what happens to people when they actually get on this path, 403 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:24,560 to themselves and finally leave and are who they are. 404 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,720 What does the work mean actually? 405 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:28,800 What does it mean to do the work to get there? 406 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:35,280 Oh, I mean, it can look so many different ways depending on each person, depending on 407 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:42,760 their journey, their trauma, their desire for what they want to be and what their true 408 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,440 expression is. 409 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:49,320 And I kind of just want to unpack the word like unapologetic a bit too, because I think 410 00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,040 that word is given a lot of like spice. 411 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,400 Oh yeah. 412 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:59,120 And it's like sexy and it can be provocative and it's like, oh yeah, let's be unapologetic. 413 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:08,080 And like, I think people can think unapologetic is like loud, bold, ballsy, swears a lot, 414 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:09,440 doesn't give a fuck. 415 00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:13,040 You know, all these things that people can be like, oh, I wish I was just more unapologetic. 416 00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,240 I wish I was like her. 417 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:21,120 I wish I that it's less about what you do or how you do it that makes you unapologetic. 418 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,160 It's like how little you care about how it's received. 419 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,400 Because ultimately to be unapologetic is just to be yourself. 420 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:35,520 Because we're so attached to us, the social perception that we have, we think that we 421 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:41,040 have to wear the mask or wear the t-shirt or like fit in the clothes that make us look 422 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:45,200 like the unapologetic person or the wild woman or the slut or the whatever. 423 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,520 And it's like, it's less about what it looks like on the outside, but who you're being 424 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:52,040 on the inside. 425 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,820 And I say that because each journey for each woman is going to be so different because 426 00:31:56,820 --> 00:31:59,600 her baseline of where she's beginning is so different. 427 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,800 So actually sometimes when they come to me and they're like, oh, I'm already unapologetic. 428 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:04,800 I'm already loud. 429 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,480 I've already got 10,000 million followers on Instagram. 430 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,000 I'm already an influencer, whatever. 431 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,920 And then you chip away at some of the stories and some of the bullshit, you know, doing 432 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,760 the shadow work. 433 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,120 Most of it starts with deep self-inquiry first. 434 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:25,960 And it's like beneath that all is oftentimes like quite a scared little girl who has just 435 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:31,360 learned how to be loud to be validated in the world. 436 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:35,440 It's like, well, if I'm loud and if I'm pretty and if I put wear a loads of makeup and if 437 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:39,560 I like really use that to get ahead, then I'm safe. 438 00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:40,560 Yeah. 439 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:47,800 To me, it's like strip all of that away and just come back to like who you are as your 440 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:52,120 beautiful, wild, innocent, authentic self. 441 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,200 That is your unapologetic self. 442 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:58,920 When you can show that, that vulnerability in the world without caring about how many 443 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:02,200 likes you get, without caring about how much money you make, without caring about how many 444 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,560 dollars you get or people in your program. 445 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:10,880 When you can share that person to the world and sleep well at night and not have any anxiety, 446 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,800 it's like then you've tapped into your unapologetic energy. 447 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:15,800 Beautiful. 448 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:16,800 That's amazing. 449 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:22,960 And I love that you say it's indeed so unique to everyone, but the work there so often meets 450 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:24,440 that little girl inside. 451 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,440 Yeah. 452 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,240 Would you like to touch upon the inner child work? 453 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,400 What is that and how does it work? 454 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:35,320 I mean, I think we also need to be a little bit careful now because it's like I'm not 455 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:36,320 a therapist. 456 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:37,320 Yeah. 457 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:43,640 I'm not going to pretend that I'm qualified to take people back into like deep childhood 458 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:44,640 memories and stuff. 459 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:50,840 But I do think as a coach, mentor, or spaceholder, or guide, it's inevitable that childhood stuff 460 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,400 is going to come into the space. 461 00:33:53,400 --> 00:34:00,560 So I just am saying this for anybody who's listening and it's not always easy or recommended 462 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:05,040 to necessarily go into inner child stuff, especially if there's like a lot of big trauma 463 00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:06,960 in client history. 464 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:14,080 But when we can kind of explore in a child where I can maybe pick a year or a few years 465 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:19,840 of somebody's life and sit in especially where did some of these beliefs come from? 466 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:23,280 So say like the good girl, cast your mind back. 467 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:28,480 When was the first memory you had maybe of being told you were a good girl? 468 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,560 Who told you you're a good girl, was it your mom, was it your granny, was it your dad, 469 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,560 your teacher? 470 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:38,440 I mean, then you start to build like a memory frame of being like, whoa, I've actually been 471 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:42,120 physically told that I was good for a very long time. 472 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,800 Okay, interesting. 473 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:47,520 And then you might go layer under and be like, all right, what was the some of the things 474 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,360 that I was doing when I was told I was a good girl? 475 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,080 Maybe they were like, you were being quiet at the dinner table. 476 00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,200 Maybe you got all these stars. 477 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,160 I don't know, whatever it was. 478 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,520 And there's like, okay, so these are maybe some of the behaviors that I still exhibit 479 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:05,920 in my adult life that I still seek approval for. 480 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,920 Oh shit, I was doing them when I was seven. 481 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:10,320 Okay, right. 482 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:16,920 And it helps us when we kind of go back in time and sit with our younger self and take 483 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,840 a gentle trip down memory lane and we can really start to piece together pieces of the 484 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:26,680 puzzle and be like, whoa, I've actually been, this is an imprint from how long. 485 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:32,200 And sometimes it might be like, oh, I remember seeing my mom do that. 486 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:36,640 So actually she was being a good girl and I was copying her. 487 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:42,040 So it can be really interesting to go into it and to with it too, it's like you're taking 488 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:46,800 a dose of self-compassion and you're taking a dose of like, we're not going to create 489 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:47,800 a wound here. 490 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,440 That's not what we're doing, but we want to like lovingly look back into the past so that 491 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:57,080 you can kind of get a wider perspective on maybe some of the reasons why you believe 492 00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:02,560 some of the things and they tend to be, you know, the shadow or the limiting beliefs. 493 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:06,720 You're recognizing that you have these stories and these patterns within you from childhood. 494 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:08,720 Okay, that's beautiful. 495 00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:09,760 And we know that. 496 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:13,000 So then how do you want to show up and move forward in the future? 497 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:17,840 And so then every time you have this like little voice coming through with that conscious 498 00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:24,960 awareness, you might take a moment and a pause and be like, oh, okay, whose voice is that? 499 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:30,240 And it just, it makes you less reactive or it helps you spiral less into the doom and 500 00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:34,000 gloom of thinking you're not good enough or you haven't got it right or you'll be canceled 501 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,240 online for saying the wrong thing. 502 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:41,040 Yeah, I've definitely, I'm asking this and it's so good to hear your answer because I 503 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:46,040 feel like there is so much talk around inner child work and it's important for people to 504 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:49,600 understand what it is and choose the right path for themselves if they want to explore 505 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:50,600 it. 506 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:56,320 For me personally, I do a lot of my self-compassion and that's, I love that you explain it from 507 00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,160 this loving and compassionate space. 508 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:04,120 For me, just recognizing that they have little pieces of myself that I have from a very long 509 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:09,280 time ago and like recognizing them and then giving myself acceptance and compassion in 510 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:14,440 a moment or a bit of like allowance or playfulness or even permission for me to like, oh, okay, 511 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,160 now I'm going to be too much in my inner child, but it's kind of okay. 512 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,520 That just feels good to have acknowledgement. 513 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:26,320 You know, ultimately it's, you're reparenting yourself in that moment and that feels really 514 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:31,760 powerful if maybe giving yourself something that you didn't receive at the time and knowing, 515 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,400 okay, little, you really wanted a cuddle. 516 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:39,880 Maybe she was told off for being too much and she didn't receive a cuddle when actually 517 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:45,840 she just wanted to be herself and be expressed and you have this like pain in you or a wound 518 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:50,200 of feeling like you'll be rejected every time you express yourself in a certain way. 519 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:55,520 So yeah, as you say, when you access a memory like that with loving compassion, you can 520 00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:59,120 ask yourself like, what would you have wanted to receive in that moment? 521 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,120 It could be a little cuddle. 522 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,000 It might be like a cup of tea. 523 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,920 You might want to go and get like a soft toy. 524 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,880 And I do think it's really beautiful. 525 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:10,160 You know, we can still bring the past into the present and have that beautiful alchemy. 526 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,160 Right. 527 00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:15,280 Fiona, would you like to share your favorite practices? 528 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:19,480 What do you do for yourself now as, you know, in the Bowerd Facilitator? 529 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:23,720 You know what, I'm not very good with a routine. 530 00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:27,780 I need somebody who needs like a lot of flexibility and freedom. 531 00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:32,240 So I, yeah, I've tried a routine and they don't often work for me. 532 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:36,480 So I don't have like some, I don't have like go-to daily practices, but some of the things 533 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:44,120 I really love is, you know, the practice you put your right hand on the side of your left 534 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,600 rib cage where your breast would be and then your left hand over your right shoulder and 535 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:55,120 just sitting there in this like gentle holding and breathing with your arms around you is 536 00:38:55,120 --> 00:39:01,200 such like a quick practice to just drop and like regulate yourself if you're feeling stimulated, 537 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:06,480 if you've just come off a call or something and you're just feeling a bit alive and you 538 00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:08,880 just want everything to just calm down. 539 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,240 That one is just a really simple one to do at the bus stop, to do when you're sitting 540 00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:15,800 down, to do anywhere. 541 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,920 So I find myself doing that one a lot. 542 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,160 I also co-regulate with my dog a lot. 543 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,120 I love to give her cuddles. 544 00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:30,680 And me and my partner, we also give each other a full body hug every time both of us ask 545 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:31,680 her. 546 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,000 So just finding people around you or things around you that you can co-regulate with, 547 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:41,000 be it a housemate, an animal, if you have a partner, those are just being with another 548 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:47,040 heartbeat and breathing together and having that closeness and intimacy without any expectation. 549 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,640 I really love. 550 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:54,920 And yeah, movement practices, you know, I go to yoga anyway, that just feels really 551 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:59,800 good in my body and pilates, but also just non-linear movement, whacking out your yoga 552 00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:03,640 mat and just moving your body any way that feels good. 553 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:09,560 I love TRE practices, especially for the hips and for the legs. 554 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:16,680 And yeah, just any practice that also invites me into a rocking motion. 555 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:23,120 So often I'll just lie on my side in bed and just rock myself over my side body. 556 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,800 Nothing crazy. 557 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,320 I'm not into activating practices. 558 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,000 I'm not really into breath work. 559 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,760 For me and my disposition, I'm quite fiery and quite airy. 560 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,800 I need a lot of grounding. 561 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:42,200 So I have a really beautiful energetic chiropractor as well that really helps me get in my body 562 00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:47,080 because I can, especially when I'm working, I can just like fucking like so easy for me 563 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,800 anyway to dissociate when I'm working and I just get so excited. 564 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:54,480 And it's actually what I really need to do is ground back into my body because I can 565 00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,920 be quite airy. 566 00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:01,960 I always just want to say to people, find something simple and do it often. 567 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:07,120 It doesn't have to be like a three hour fucking ritual or whatever. 568 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,480 You don't need to go to a spa. 569 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:14,400 Spa is beautiful if you want to go, but it's like you don't need these fancy things to 570 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,840 find your way back in. 571 00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:22,960 Often you just need a bit of time and your intention and both hands and your breath and 572 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:27,960 that's really all you need because I think that's actually radical in a world where we're 573 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:34,480 quite dependent on tools and practices and like things outside of ourselves. 574 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:38,460 I think just reminding yourself it gets to be really easy and you have everything already 575 00:41:38,460 --> 00:41:41,040 inside you just to do it. 576 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,920 That's kind of what's coming to mind. 577 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:45,360 Something simple to be consistent. 578 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:46,360 I love that. 579 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:47,360 Yeah. 580 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:51,400 Because sometimes people are like, oh, to transform now I have to do like one hour in 581 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:55,720 the morning at 5 a.m. of this thing and then in the evening can you do that and this becomes 582 00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:58,800 a full time job and that's why people don't do it. 583 00:41:58,800 --> 00:41:59,800 Yeah. 584 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:03,680 That's like, I will not wake up early and I will not exercise late. 585 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,120 Like that just does not feel good for my body. 586 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,000 I tried that for years and it was just it. 587 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,400 Then it felt it became an addiction. 588 00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,120 I swapped my eating disorder for addiction to exercise. 589 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:21,320 It was another way of controlling my state and my appearance and how I felt about myself. 590 00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:28,160 So to me when I approach any kind of practice I do it with like, why am I doing this? 591 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:32,840 You know getting really conscious of the why because some of the shadows will still be 592 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:33,840 there. 593 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,840 It's not like they go away forever. 594 00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:36,840 Yeah. 595 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:37,840 Yeah. 596 00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:39,400 So I could resonate with this. 597 00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:44,320 I'm also not like a can't do routine and I don't wake up early. 598 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,320 No shame. 599 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,000 No shame for that. 600 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:52,360 Lastly, I would love you to share a little bit about what's happening at your retreats 601 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:53,900 and trainings. 602 00:42:53,900 --> 00:42:55,920 So what do people expect there? 603 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,360 What should they expect there? 604 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,120 Oh, what should they expect? 605 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:06,120 So I have two retreats next year, one Wild Honey in Greece and Wild Eros in Ibiza and 606 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:12,620 Wild Honey is all around exploring women's pleasure and sensuality. 607 00:43:12,620 --> 00:43:21,820 So we work with beautiful, gentle practices, deeply nourishing practices into just expanded 608 00:43:21,820 --> 00:43:23,020 states of pleasure. 609 00:43:23,020 --> 00:43:28,880 So not always sexual pleasure, but just full body pleasure. 610 00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:34,760 We work a lot with the theme of erotic innocence and the maiden and the lover. 611 00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:38,920 That retreat is a really yummy, juicy and extremely expansive retreat because so much 612 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:46,320 of what women need is actually to retreat, is to peel away from real life and give and 613 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:50,540 fill themselves up, fill up their cup and give themselves something truly nourishing 614 00:43:50,540 --> 00:43:53,480 and regulating. 615 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,400 And Wild Eros is a little bit more spicy. 616 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,960 We work with a more erotic practices. 617 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:02,360 It's a retreat all around the erotic feminine. 618 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:06,600 So we'll work with some of the archetypes I mentioned like the whore and we'll bring 619 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:12,280 the explore like the slut expression and work with the seductress or moving more sexual 620 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,400 energy. 621 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,200 And also it's very playful, like we're in Ibiza. 622 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:23,000 The energy of the island really just inspires this beautiful like sister connection and 623 00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:30,200 intimacy and like platonic pleasure and it's really beautiful. 624 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,360 And yeah, my training is a facilitator training. 625 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:39,840 So for women who want to take maybe what they're offering if they're coaches or yoga teachers 626 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:46,180 or guides, if they're wanting to take what they're doing even deeper and create spaces 627 00:44:46,180 --> 00:44:49,600 that are truly transformational. 628 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:53,160 There are five pillars to the work that I offer in as wild bodies. 629 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:59,080 So all around, you know, connecting to our primal body, working with our nervous system, 630 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:04,760 wild honey, so pleasure sensuality, kind of the subtle feminine, wild-era, sexuality, 631 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:11,520 the erotic feminine creativity, wild fire, which is your expression and the movement 632 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,940 you want to make in this world. 633 00:45:12,940 --> 00:45:13,980 How are you showing up? 634 00:45:13,980 --> 00:45:18,760 You know, your big pussy energy, the influence you're making and then wild devotion like 635 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:25,760 your legacy, your leadership and the liberation that you're here to influence. 636 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:30,960 So we journey through all of those modules and their practices, their practicum, so you 637 00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:37,800 learn how to hold space from a deeply regulated space yourself, but also how to support your 638 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:47,160 clients into their bodies and through trauma-informed lens, supporting them to access more pleasure, 639 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:51,000 supporting them to connect with their sexuality. 640 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,840 And then you learn how to bring kind of all of that into business. 641 00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:59,680 So into your marketing, into your offerings, into your leadership. 642 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,360 It's a really beautiful and powerful offering. 643 00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:04,040 We have women from all around the world. 644 00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:10,820 And this year there's an in-person facilitation retreat as well, because I feel that there's, 645 00:46:10,820 --> 00:46:15,400 I don't see it so much on the market if at all actually is that online training, you 646 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,360 know, we're online so much. 647 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,960 In Zoom works all the time, we have so many online clients, but so many more women now 648 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:26,160 are wanting to step into in-person events, in-person retreats. 649 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,600 And so the training now includes a week of in-person facilitation training at the end 650 00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:35,960 too to get real life like in-person practice. 651 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,360 So I'm really excited. 652 00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,400 I am celebrating you here. 653 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:43,000 Oh, yeah, sounds super good. 654 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:50,720 And I must say the Eros retreat sounds super juicy, like for me, for what I would do, it 655 00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:51,720 sounds really good. 656 00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:56,400 All of them are beautiful to do at different stages of life. 657 00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:57,400 Yeah. 658 00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:03,600 If you resonate with Fiona's work, we invite you to check out her wild honey and wild Eros 659 00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,360 retreats. 660 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:13,600 And as a listener of this podcast, you can get £100 off with the code WDFL100. 661 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:18,520 Check this episode description for details. 662 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,000 And that's it for today. 663 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:27,520 I hope this episode has left you feeling inspired, empowered and more connected to your truths. 664 00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:31,600 If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to subscribe to the Feminine Empire 665 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,860 podcast and leave us a rating. 666 00:47:34,860 --> 00:47:40,120 If you want me to ask any specific questions to our future guests, please do leave us a 667 00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:46,200 comment wherever you are listening to this podcast and I will definitely address them. 668 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:52,200 The support means the world and helps us reach more women with this transformative work. 669 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:58,160 And if you're ready to experience even more feminine magic, I invite you to explore the 670 00:47:58,160 --> 00:47:59,920 FIIL membership. 671 00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:06,960 Head to www.filup.co.uk or find the link in this podcast description to learn more and 672 00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,120 claim your spot. 673 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:15,640 Until the next time, keep shining your light, keep embracing your unique journey and keep 674 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:20,720 rising into the powerful human you were born to be. 675 00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:47,720 I'm your host, Maria Grenina.