1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,280 In this episode with Mariel Witmond, we talk about people pleasing. 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:10,960 Something I personally struggled with a lot, growing up and building my business in the 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:17,120 very beginning. And I've also seen how many of us women are struggling to overcome people 4 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:22,960 pleasing and how much it stands in the way of true empowerment. We have had so much conditioning 5 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:30,160 to be a good girl and serve and ensure others feel good way before our own needs and desires. 6 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:37,200 Yet to truly be empowered, to succeed, to make a real difference in the world, 7 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:44,800 and to truly be authentic, we can't please everyone. Neither can we put people pleasing 8 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:51,360 above our own value and what we can create. Letting go of people pleasing pieces some people off, 9 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:58,320 naturally. But it also allows us to rise and truly create value. Mariel with Mond is a 10 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:02,960 transformational guide with diverse heritage. She is a yoga and meditation teacher, 11 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:09,520 breath work facilitator, certified health coach and life coach based in Ibiza. And a lot of her work 12 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:15,120 involves somatic methods of reconnection and empowerment. Mariel has become an expert in 13 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:21,120 tackling perfectionism and people pleasing, giving women the tools to navigate transitional moments 14 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:28,560 and bring them back to their innate embodied wisdom. She shares the deep wisdom of Mayan cosmology 15 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:35,520 together with more modern forms of self-development, guiding others from ego to soul through embodied 16 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:44,240 knowledge. For us women, it is possible to have it all and embody our truth and power in all areas of life. 17 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:52,800 Feminine Bow podcast is your guide to reconnecting with your feminine essence, reclaiming your power 18 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:59,760 and rising into your fullest potential. I'm your host, Mariel Grinina, co-founder of Feel, 19 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:07,840 the feminine embodiment platform. And here on this podcast, I interview our expert community 20 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:14,800 and our members and we together share transformative tools, intimate conversations 21 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:22,560 and embodiment practices, bringing you a wealth of wisdom and practical tools to support your journey. 22 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:29,360 Follow this podcast for your weekly inspiration and if you'd like to go deeper into your 23 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:36,160 embodiment journey and the awakening of your sexual energy, check out our online membership 24 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:42,320 linked in this podcast description. And when it comes to people pleasing, it's usually a loss of 25 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:49,920 sense of self, right? We feel highly depleted, we feel burnt out, we feel resentful, we feel 26 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:56,320 taken advantage of, and most of all we feel disconnected from our truth. So when we look at 27 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:02,400 women in particular and feminine energy, we're disconnected from our intuition, we're disconnected 28 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:10,240 from our bodies, we're disconnected from just that deep sense of self. And so it can feel like 29 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:16,160 the worst of things to kind of hit those bottom moments, but I actually think these moments of 30 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:24,400 transition, these moments that allow us to truly connect with who we are are the greatest gifts 31 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:30,000 that we could ever have. I've been a life coach and a yoga teacher for a decade now, 32 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:39,200 both of which happened around the same time. And it was shortly after I left about 11 years 33 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:45,120 in the entertainment industry, I used to represent models. And then when I left that, I worked in 34 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:51,760 casting. And by the time I was 31, I was overseeing a company across Europe and South Africa, I was 35 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:58,560 completely burnt out and dissatisfied and unhappy with life. And, you know, it's that moment that 36 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:04,720 kind of shakes your foundation and asks you like, are you on the right path? I knew in the core of 37 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:10,240 my being that what I was doing wasn't what I wanted. And it took a lot of courage to leave that. And 38 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:16,000 eventually I did something I should have done when I went into university, which was spend some time 39 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:22,000 exploring my options. And I never really had that opportunity. So I spent about two years kind of 40 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:27,760 jumping from job to job from study to study trying to figure out what it was that I wanted to do. 41 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:34,480 But within that period, I also trained as a yoga teacher and eventually as a life coach. And since 42 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:41,840 then, my people pleasing, you would think it would have been at a height in the university years now 43 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:48,320 kind of looking back, I mean, even as a teacher, I wanted everybody to like me. I really, if I found 44 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:56,560 it really hard to find my voice, I found it really difficult to cater my classes to something that 45 00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:01,680 was authentic to me as opposed to wanting it to be for everybody. So I was like, I'm going to cater to 46 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:11,520 men and to women and to all ages. And I mean, it was a tricky initiation because obviously you can't 47 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:17,120 please everyone. And the more that your focus is on pleasing others, then you really lose the 48 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:26,480 creativity of what it is that you do. So over time, I started to attract certain personality types 49 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:32,160 and I think this happens often with coaches or therapists that, you know, the most important 50 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:37,760 thing really is the relationship between us. And so a lot of times you'll find that the people that 51 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:43,120 are drawn to you are drawn to you because of your experience and what you've overcome. And I was 52 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:49,360 naturally working with women in particular who struggled with people pleasing perfectionism 53 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:57,120 over achieving this sort of need to be needed and to perform. And it wasn't until, and this will sound 54 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:01,840 quite crazy given that it's been 10 years, but it really wasn't until the last couple of years 55 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:08,880 that I decided to focus exclusively on women. And a lot of that has to do with my relationship with 56 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:17,760 my mother and also with me sort of rekindling my ancestral roots. So my mother is Mexican and 57 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:24,640 growing up we had a very difficult relationship. And the relationship changed when I left to 58 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:31,760 university, but it became more of a friendship. And yoga became something that we did together to kind 59 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:40,160 of heal our past. But because I had spent so much of my formative years struggling with my 60 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:45,840 relationship with my mom, it really disconnected me from Mexico and from my heritage and from those 61 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:53,440 roots. And so in the last couple of years, I wanted to focus for me personally in my healing journey 62 00:06:54,000 --> 00:07:03,120 on healing sort of that lineage and the relationship of women in my family and why we 63 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:10,160 were so heavily in our masculine and why I mean, my grandmother worked so hard on my mother's side, 64 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:17,760 built one of the biggest schools in Mexico was like a powerhouse of a woman. But I had the 65 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:24,240 worst relationship with her and there was no vulnerability and there was no sort of real love 66 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:30,800 and softness and it just lacked so much. And I can see how that impacted my mother and then 67 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,760 consequently my relationship with my mom. So over the last couple of years, my focus has been very 68 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:42,880 much on women and these disconnections that we have, I mean, ultimately it starts with the 69 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:48,960 connection to ourselves when we are able to come back to ourselves, I find that we're able to come 70 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:54,960 back to each other because everything starts with us, everything that we experienced externally 71 00:07:54,960 --> 00:08:00,240 is a projection of what is happening with us internally in the moment that we pause and look 72 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:09,760 at what's going on. I mean, we can break patterns, we can sort of rewrite these ancestral narratives 73 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:15,520 that get handed down to us generation after generation and I think people pleasing is a huge one. 74 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:20,960 If you have parents that were people pleasers, the likelihood of you being a people pleasers incredibly high, 75 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:28,960 but not only that, I think we're all so vulnerable in our youth that emotionally unstable 76 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:36,240 caregivers or feelings like you have to tiptoe around your parents or that love might be conditional, 77 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:43,600 this whole notion of good girl, bad girl, it really plays into this need to please because we 78 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:50,480 we rely so heavily on our parents or our caregivers growing up and it creates this 79 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:56,480 this foundation of in order for me to survive, in order for me to receive love, I need to do what 80 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:01,600 I need to do what other people want and that's where the initial betrayal begins. 81 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:08,400 You started with your beautiful personal story and thank you for sharing it. I'm wondering if you 82 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:15,200 would share, given all of your experience, personal and working with women, how people pleasing is 83 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:24,320 shaping in childhood, like how would people learn to be such good girls, would being a good girl means? 84 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:31,280 So I'll give personal examples both me with my parents but also now me with my daughter, 85 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:38,320 which has been a huge sort of mirror into a lot of the work that I do. 86 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:45,760 I have incredible parents. My parents have given me every opportunity, love, I've never wanted for 87 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:52,480 anything, but that doesn't change the fact that growing up I had a father who would get very 88 00:09:52,480 --> 00:10:02,480 angry or who grew up with a very English cultural conditioning of children or to be seen and not 89 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:11,120 heard and all of these sort of things. So what I felt as a child was that I didn't want to upset him 90 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:15,360 and that I couldn't have a voice, especially as a child and especially with that whole idea of 91 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:23,840 children should be seen and not heard. So I would stay quiet whereas with my mom she would go silent. 92 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:30,880 My mom's sort of response to overwhelm or to anger to whatever she was experiencing was to give the 93 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:38,240 silent treatment, which made me feel like I didn't exist. So I would do anything in my power not to 94 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:44,080 be in those situations where I felt like she was going to give me the cold shoulder and so these 95 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:50,240 are almost like two polar extremes of the spectrum, but as a child caught in the middle that doesn't 96 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:58,640 want to rattle or upset either side, then you do everything you can. So with my father it was very 97 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:04,080 much about performing, it was about achieving. It's like how can I get his attention so that he's 98 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:11,440 proud of me and with my mother it was really just how do I keep her happy because I don't want to be 99 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:18,560 invisible to her. I want to remain present and it's hard because let me tell you as a parent 100 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,040 you can try to do everything right and there's chances are that you'll still get things wrong 101 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:28,160 and I'm a big believer that we choose our parents and that we're on the paths that we're on for 102 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:34,320 reasons that you know where it's our journey, it's our learning here on this planet and this life, 103 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:44,960 but I look at my daughter and she is very eager to please and it's a huge conundrum for me because 104 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:53,840 I see this beautiful girl who's just really desperate for validation and just really wants to be seen 105 00:11:53,840 --> 00:12:03,600 and wants to be perceived as good and it's been a lot of work for me to help her have boundaries 106 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:10,400 and to honor when she says no. I mean prime example I'll have my two kids trying to play with my 107 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,960 daughter's toys and my daughter will say no I don't want my brother to have these toys 108 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:20,400 and my instinct is to be like be a good girl just share your toys give it to your brother 109 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:25,360 and I have to have a moment of actually no you're right these are your toys and you do have a right 110 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:30,560 to say no. I want you to be aware of the consequences because if your brother's playing with his toys 111 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:36,160 and you want to play with his toys he can do the same thing right he could say no to you but I want 112 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:44,000 there to be that sense of you don't always have to bend over backwards in order to be considered 113 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:51,760 good and what is good right I think it's you know it's that understanding of bad behavior doesn't 114 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:57,040 make you a bad person and I think one of the worst things that we can get caught into is this whole 115 00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:06,000 spiral of shame the that we are bad people not that we've done bad things but this sort of binary 116 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:13,040 black and white good girl bad girl really makes you feel like you are a bad girl as opposed to 117 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:19,840 having done a bad thing and so it shames us and that shame makes us want to please makes us want 118 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:28,400 to do whatever we can to make sure that we are no longer seen in a negative light. Well about 119 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:34,480 parents it is so true right we can have the most amazing parents and we'll still have struggles that 120 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:42,240 we find in ourselves in childhood and we can also have harder upbringings and you know doing this work 121 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:47,840 I feel like it's important to highlight as you say you you've had amazing childhood right 122 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:52,880 but still there are certain things to work on and I feel like they're gifts really like receiving 123 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:59,120 these kind of experiences so that we're then able to work on them and grow and then hopefully also 124 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:05,600 share these gifts and learnings with others so so powerful. Thank you and thank you for sharing 125 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:12,800 how you grow your daughter I must say it reminded me of my own childhood like just my mom would always 126 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:21,360 tell me to share and I definitely had to work through my nice girl problem for quite a while 127 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:27,440 especially as I'm becoming a bigger and bigger business woman and I must say that I notice how 128 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:36,960 strongly this concept of a nice girl stands in the way of a true success of getting anything done 129 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:43,200 of getting anything big out there so it's impossible to please everyone and then if we want to please 130 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:48,080 everyone we literally can't make any positive impact in the world and that's why I feel like 131 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:55,760 this conversation is so important especially on this nice girl idea. So I love that you use the 132 00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:02,400 word nice because there's a difference no but no I'm actually I'm really glad that you did because 133 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:08,240 there is I remember hearing this not too long ago and it's really stuck with me there's a very big 134 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:18,720 difference between nice and kind. Nice always has a desire to be perceived as nice nice often has 135 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:26,080 the expectation of a return nice it is often something somewhat superficial like the the 136 00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:31,520 smile that you plaster on your face when you tell everyone that you're fine right but that's nice for 137 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:40,960 me kind on the other hand has no expectation for a return has no desire to be perceived in any way 138 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:47,440 it is simply from the generosity of your heart that you behave in a certain way so nice is very 139 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:54,080 much the people pleaser nice is this need to be sacrificing yourself for the needs of others but 140 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:59,920 because you want some kind of return whether it's that you're perceived as a good person whether 141 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:06,320 it's that you become people's go-to because you're their yes person whatever it might be but nice 142 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:14,000 comes with consequences because we are often uh disappointed when our expectations aren't met 143 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:22,160 we often feel resentment when people don't treat us in the same way we often communicate through 144 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:31,280 passive aggressiveness because we don't know how to communicate in healthy ways so we don't want to 145 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:40,720 come across as the bad guy but then the way that we feel has us you know hot and cold essentially 146 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,360 so i love that you use the word nice because i think that's the easiest way to describe the 147 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:53,920 difference between authenticity and people pleasing and and to your point you know professionally 148 00:16:54,720 --> 00:17:02,160 you cannot be a people pleaser and be creative because creativity requires authenticity and 149 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:09,120 authenticity is the conviction that not everyone is going to like you but you like you right so 150 00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:12,720 you're going to do it your way you're going to share it your way and you're going to feel 151 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:19,360 comfortable and confident in the knowledge that it's not for everyone but the right people for 152 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:28,640 you will find you and that's huge exactly you know this i i have said nice girl instead of good girl 153 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:34,320 because i've been looking into this concept for some time and i've been speaking with a few women 154 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:42,240 about it and i've been understanding how deep it is in them to be this nice they always say this 155 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:49,760 word nice right and i feel like i kind of really don't like this word if someone tells me oh this 156 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:56,800 looks nice you go and nice it feels like they're not really saying the truth even they just want to 157 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:02,240 say something kind but it's that's i feel like this word nice is really has this kind of connotation 158 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:09,120 totally even even to say like oh yeah that's nice like it's kind of like yeah like not real 159 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:16,560 it doesn't feel like right like a real compliment right exactly we kind of understand how nice girl 160 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:23,360 turns up out there right i'm wondering like how common is that in your view how often do people 161 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:29,440 come to you with this kind of issue or how common do you feel it is in the world these days 162 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:38,800 i think it's incredibly common i think it's difficult because as women we're navigating 163 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:45,840 a history that not so long ago you know didn't give us many rights and and portrayed us and 164 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:51,280 i mean even go back to the 50s and 60s with the advertisements of you know woman at home cooking 165 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:56,160 and cleaning and you know in high heels and with a smile and doing it all and she's doing it perfectly 166 00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:01,680 and the thing that i've come across the most in the 10 years that i've been working in what i do 167 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:07,840 is there's three common things that i find impact women and it's the need to do it all the need to 168 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:15,360 do it perfectly and the need to do it alone and i think historically you know we've been battling 169 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:22,720 to overcome our role in society and the way that women are perceived and and you know 170 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:27,600 you know nowadays i think we've gone in the opposite direction and that's why everyone is so 171 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:32,880 heavily in their masculine because we felt like we needed to be more manly in order to 172 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:42,720 play a role in the in the world as it is today but it's left us a little bit confused i think and so 173 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:50,000 for women i mean you even look at it in a professional sense in terms of pay right i think 174 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:56,400 quite often women i mean women do get paid less than men but quite often it's because of our 175 00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:02,560 people pleasing tendencies there's this feeling that we should be grateful for the job that we have 176 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:08,480 that we should there's a lot of guilt guilt is one of the biggest emotions that i deal with when 177 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:14,640 i work with people around people pleasing and i actually think guilt is an alarm bell that should 178 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:20,800 always highlight that it's a form of manipulation to get you to do what other people want you to do 179 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:26,960 so i mean the question of like how many people i mean i wouldn't statistically be able to say but 180 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:34,560 i would say a great majority are probably people pleasers because we historically come from this 181 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:40,560 whole world of wanting us to be nice girls or good girls or you know be seen and not heard and 182 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:45,280 we haven't had a voice until very recently and when we do have a voice that often gets used 183 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:52,960 against us we're shamed you know one of the best ways that i heard it used was that we've been 184 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:58,160 shamed out of all of our appetites right our appetite for food our appetite for sex our 185 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:04,880 appetite for pleasure our appetite for knowledge it's always been used against us as women there's 186 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:11,440 a lot to overcome there and i think because we're coming at it on the lower hand i i think 187 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:18,880 there's just this feeling that in order to be accepted in order to be a part of the game and 188 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:28,000 whatever game that might be it we need to focus on others and i've got to be honest i think to be a 189 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:33,200 woman in this modern world is really confusing because we're juggling a lot of different things 190 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:40,240 where we're trying to step up in a very man centered world you know even when you look at 191 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:45,600 how we behave you know men work on circadian rhythms our menstrual cycle like we're moon based 192 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:51,760 and we our energy our hormones everything is just very different but none of that's been taken into 193 00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:59,120 account until extremely recently medical studies haven't been done on women until recently it was 194 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:03,360 always take birth control pill like the birth control pill will fix everything for a woman 195 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:09,040 there's a lot a lot to unpack around what it is to be a woman so i think people pleasing 196 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:16,560 is kind of like the the easy solution it's like all right if i if i want to receive love if i want 197 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:24,160 to feel worthy if i want to feel like i matter then maybe i need to be needed right so let me try to 198 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:31,680 try to please and let me put a smile on and let me make it seem like i'm this happy perfect woman 199 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:38,720 yeah what i would really invite everyone who is listening to do now is just to digest these words 200 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:46,400 and just to understand it's okay to be confused right and as you say so many people struggle with 201 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:52,320 these concepts of really just wanting to be accepted and therefore trying to be nice so it is so 202 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:58,000 normal to feel this way but what's also really amazing is that it's definitely possible to change 203 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:03,360 with the right direction and the right tools and the deep connection to yourself because the truth 204 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:13,120 is inside i want to reflect back with with my family i guess because when you were explaining this 205 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:21,680 story around women just trying to be good trying to do it all and trying to be also perfect and 206 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:28,400 hardworking and the image of my mother came through to me of course also grandmothers like oh my god 207 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:36,480 those women how hard they worked but the funny thing about the story of my mother my mom has been 208 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:43,760 she's she got into this really good marriage very early on in her life at 23 and my father 209 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:50,960 has given her everything she never had to work hard she didn't have to earn her own money and 210 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:56,800 my dad will always provide all she needs for her so i've been growing up looking at this perfect 211 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:03,680 kind of relationship but what was confusing and what she's only changing now 30 years into the 212 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:12,320 marriage was her real desperate need to work hard and work all the time despite her having this 213 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:19,520 really beautiful life where she could just actually relax and perhaps focus her energy on more creativity 214 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:26,080 and things that she would create for the world she had to work hard cleaning the house 24-7 215 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:31,360 cooking 24-7 coming up with more work activities my dad would always tell her look like a real 216 00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:37,520 doctor when you go to work as a medical doctor you spend more money on your gas to get to work and 217 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:44,400 back then they pay you so technically i pay for you to work because doctors get paid really really 218 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:50,320 low money so her whole life she had this idea that she had to work hard despite having the 219 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:56,000 conditions not to do so and how it was reflecting on the relationship in the family and the dynamic 220 00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:02,800 is that my dad was very very confused and frustrated because here he is working so hard 221 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:10,240 to provide to create a perfect life and his wife still can't relax and give him the softness 222 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:16,240 that he's craving and as a child i would always see that i would notice it and see that maybe that's 223 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:23,120 why i grew up a bit like oh i'm not going to work as hard as my mom um years later now it's 224 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:30,240 she stopped doing her medical work she read a few spiritual books and become very inspired 225 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,800 started leaning more into the feminine especially as i do this work for the recent five years 226 00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:40,720 and she started just learning about movement relaxation astrology and they're still together 227 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:45,520 with my father and she became a completely different person and only now after 30 years 228 00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:50,640 of in this marriage she's given him what he always wanted after that she started to work 229 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:56,480 giving him what he always wanted after she gave up on the hard work and allowed herself to still 230 00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:02,720 be a nice girl but to actually relax and ease into it and see what else happens and with that she 231 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:09,040 gave the biggest value to the family and to her loved husband yeah it's interesting they're just 232 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:16,480 listening to you it's something that i think is quite common and and i'd be curious with your mom 233 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:22,240 is the sense that i get is almost this need to prove ourselves yeah right this this working 234 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:29,120 so hard and and it's you know brenie brown would talk about it as the need to please perform and 235 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:36,960 perfect yeah and it it really pushes us and it drives us into overdoing and that's where we lose 236 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:42,160 the balance and and where i think it's become really tricky because again we're navigating a 237 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:49,440 world where we're finally allowed to pursue the things that we want to pursue and with that comes 238 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:54,320 a great amount of passion like i can imagine your mom was probably working that hard to a certain 239 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:58,400 degree because she loved it i would hope for or that she was very passionate about it if she didn't 240 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:07,680 need to do it but at the same time if you know when we work in relation to others then it's about 241 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:13,920 compromise right and how do we meet each other halfway and and when you mention confusion 242 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:18,080 for those that are listening because i think you know as we talk through these things it's very 243 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:23,920 natural to be confused but i would say confusion is a fabulous thing because the moment you're 244 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:29,920 confused you're probably starting to get curious right like why am i confused like what is the right 245 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:36,560 answer and i think as women we need to be curious about everything i mean not even just women i think 246 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:42,640 the whole world like there's so much false information etc but the more that we can be curious the 247 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:48,800 more we can start to break down a lot of these walls a lot of these conditioning a lot of how 248 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:54,640 we feel we can come back into the body because again the more that we lean into the masculine the 249 00:27:54,640 --> 00:28:01,680 more we're in our heads and you can't think your way into feeling you really have to be in the body 250 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:09,440 so that's where i think finding this balance between passion and softness right between drives 251 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:15,520 determination this like this motivation i feel it in the work that i do and i'm often 252 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:21,120 being told like mariel you need to slow down you need to slow down and i do think we can have drive 253 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:27,200 and be soft at the same time it's funny you say that you didn't want to follow in your mom's footsteps 254 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:32,400 but to me you look like someone that's working really hard on something that they love to do right 255 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:36,800 and that's a beautiful thing because you're really trying to empower women but there is 256 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:43,920 sort of like a pattern right and we we do get handed down these behaviors and if we're lucky 257 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:48,720 enough to kind of look at them and say all right i love that i have drive and that i have vision and 258 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:55,360 that i have determination but i also know how much the softness mattered especially in relationship 259 00:28:55,360 --> 00:29:02,240 men want to be able to give and a big thing about feminine essence is our ability to receive 260 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:08,000 we don't have to do it alone we don't have to do it all it's our ability to open up and say 261 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:15,680 i'm willing to get help and i'm willing to be supported yeah yeah beautiful you've mentioned 262 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:21,760 already the key right to reconnection to the truth which is the body stop thinking so much 263 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:28,720 and really connecting to the feeling and here just to finalizing the story that you've reflected so 264 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:34,720 beautifully on that's exactly what happened with my mom i mean she's been overworking mostly of 265 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:40,960 course she loved being a doctor but she'd had a lot of guilt that she she carried from soviet union 266 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:46,640 upbringing because of they had to work hard they they had like certain measurements of how hard 267 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:51,360 you work and then certain rewards etc it was a bit crazy without getting into detail what brought 268 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:58,640 her deeper and back to kind of this deep life satisfaction that she's living now and is so 269 00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:06,960 inspiring was the practice of yoga and vedic traditions so she got into understanding more 270 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:12,160 the vedic traditions and the yoga and then she started going deeper into also sexual energy work 271 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:20,640 going with me to some events etc and that's where she started really really connecting back to this 272 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:28,240 ah i can just really receive and do what i truly love she still works hard but now as an astrologist 273 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:34,560 from pleasure not pressure and that's amazing and with that i actually would love you to deep 274 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:41,440 dive into these solutions how would you usually tell people to start this path of reconnection 275 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:48,800 to themselves and the truth i mean look it's there's no one size fits all and the wonderful thing 276 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:56,240 is that there's so many different things out there so again use that curiosity and start to explore 277 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:01,600 what are the things that call to you would you like to work one-on-one with someone do you feel 278 00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:07,360 called to work in a group environment what are the areas that call to you is it more somatic 279 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:15,680 based things i mean practices like yoga or or whatever it might be working with a coach working 280 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:24,160 with a therapist it's curiosity i think it's all about exploring your options and seeing what resonates 281 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:33,280 and it always takes that one step for new doors to open sort of the definition of insanity doing 282 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:37,600 the same thing over and over and expecting different results like you really need to change it up 283 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:46,320 and i'd encourage yeah as much exploration and and curiosity as you can and be willing to invest 284 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:52,560 in yourself i think people pleasers have a very hard time prioritizing their own well-being because 285 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:58,400 there's always somebody else that matters more or money that can be spent on somebody else but 286 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:05,200 in the analogy of of airplanes in an emergency you got to put your own mask on first you're not 287 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:12,000 serving anyone if you're passed out and i love the saying you know we give from the overflow of 288 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:18,960 our cup not what's in the cup what's in the cup is ours so really focus on filling your cup to the 289 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:26,400 point of overflow so that you can then provide for those around you if you are resonating with this 290 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:33,600 episode and you are ready to take your embodiment journey to the next level i invite you to join 291 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:41,600 the field membership your guide on a journey of reconnecting with and embodying the power of your 292 00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:48,720 feminine energy as a member you'll get access to the daily embodiment practices created by our 293 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:57,520 powerful experts and become a part of our community knowledge that you receive on this podcast is gold 294 00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:05,600 but the real change happens when you integrate these learnings into your life with our online 295 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:14,000 membership you can cultivate a consistent self-love and embodiment practice to nurture your energy 296 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:19,440 our members are experiencing profound shifts from healing past traumas to reigniting their 297 00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:26,880 central fire to manifest in their wildest dreams and we want that for you too so if you are feeling 298 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:34,000 the call to go deeper check this podcast description for the link to join our membership now you've 299 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:44,240 mentioned a lot of paths that are mostly connected to more of an embodied way and quite often when 300 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:50,640 we have conversations about personal development and i hear these questions of like well what exactly 301 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:58,000 does this mean how can you embody this feeling what does this mean to just practice your way 302 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:04,880 you know and i'm wondering how what does this all mean to work on yourself and invest in yourself 303 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:11,040 yeah so i mean from an embodied standpoint and i was right there with you guys i was like what 304 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:18,720 does that even mean but embodied means to be in your body and there are a lot of things about 305 00:34:18,720 --> 00:34:23,120 being in our body and understanding the way that the body communicates so the mind communicates 306 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:30,720 through thought our body communicates through emotions and to embody is to understand your 307 00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:39,120 nervous system and your body's sense of safety so anytime that something happens your body will 308 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:45,200 instantly tell you whether it feels right or wrong right if you're triggered there's usually a wound 309 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:51,120 there's all of this fascinating information that lives within our physical body but if we don't 310 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:56,560 know how to get into our body what does it feel like where does it feel like i mean when i feel 311 00:34:56,560 --> 00:35:02,160 triggered i get it instantly in my chest and my chest it almost feels like i'm finding it hard to 312 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:07,520 breathe and i protect my heart so i'll hunch over a little bit and i'll cross my legs and i'll cross 313 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:14,640 my arms and that's kind of how i'll be engaging in that situation and if i can understand that then i 314 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:20,960 can start to separate myself a little bit and be like oh wow something's happened here that has either 315 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:28,880 crossed a boundary or made me feel less than we all have core wounds these wounds from childhood 316 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:34,640 that tell us we're not good enough we're not worthy if we can identify what those core wounds are 317 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:40,640 and how they feel physiologically in the body so how our nervous system responds to them 318 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:46,480 in the exact same way that they did when we were little then we can work on creating safety in the 319 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:53,040 body so that when we feel triggered we can actually look at it and say this isn't mine i'm not this 320 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:58,720 little child that was relying on somebody else to come and save me i can actually be that person 321 00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:04,880 for myself and i can teach myself to calm down whether it's through taking deep breaths whether 322 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:10,000 it's through awareness like oh wow i feel really triggered right now what do i need where do i feel 323 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:17,040 it where am i constricted can i move in a way to loosen things up can i shake to release what really 324 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:22,000 isn't mine but i'm just holding on to it because of a narrative because our brain and our body 325 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:27,120 they don't work on their like independently they work together so the mind will think a thought 326 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:33,200 and the body will respond to it physiologically and so if we can start to unpack the stories that 327 00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:40,400 happen in our mind and the way that our body responds to them we can actually start to create new 328 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:49,200 ways of living that actually feel much easier right like in my mind the opposite of the way i 329 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:56,000 feel when i'm triggered is i feel like i can breathe when i do work with clients i always find it's 330 00:36:56,000 --> 00:37:00,240 kind of a three-step process the first one is understanding so if you're at the beginning 331 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:06,560 of your journey then it's it's about doing exactly what you're doing listening to this podcast trying 332 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:12,080 to understand more we got to learn right we got to become aware because we can't change what we 333 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:17,120 don't know but once you know it's like all right what do i do with this how do i change it how do 334 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:23,840 i you start to integrate it how does this relate to my personal experience how does it relate to 335 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:29,840 my life how can i deconstruct what happened in my life again connect with those core wounds 336 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:37,360 understand what my triggers are understand how my body responds when these things happen how i feel 337 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:43,600 and then it's the embodiment right so understand integrate and embody it's like okay how do i bring 338 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:51,680 these into my body how do i bring myself back into my body yeah i want to bring it down to 339 00:37:51,680 --> 00:38:02,080 break it down into pieces actually let's have an example say i am having my nice girl moment 340 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:10,400 that i'm feeling my nice girl present very very much and it happens during a 341 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:19,120 an important business meeting i feel like that's where for me it's the hardest and say there is this 342 00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:28,560 there is this opportunity in front of me where i could ask for a good amount of money and attention 343 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:36,160 exposure whatever whatever is important and a good girl inside of me would say oh maybe somebody 344 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:43,680 else could receive this are you sure you need this the most can you give the space so that other 345 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:50,080 people can also take it and also how can you ask for that it's like are you sure you you deserve it 346 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:56,160 are you sure it's okay to ask maybe you can just wait until these people maybe just offer it to you 347 00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:02,320 but if they don't offer to you it's okay it's okay while the strong women in me would be like 348 00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:09,600 i am doing something typically important and i need to make it work and i'm here the super power here 349 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:16,400 that's going to make a difference but that super power woman is like kind of for the background 350 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:24,800 because my nice girl is just taking the main seat right now how could i change it in the moment 351 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:31,520 most likely through embodiment and switch back into my power woman voice 352 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:39,200 so i you know i love this scenario i would say that it's really important to understand 353 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:45,600 what a hell yes and a hell no feels like in your body yeah right like if if you're like what does it 354 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:50,880 feel like if i were to give to you you don't even have to ask for it if i were to say here's half a 355 00:39:50,880 --> 00:39:56,800 million pounds for your business feel to launch it like what does that feel like to be to receive 356 00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:02,000 to be given to be to be seen to be acknowledged how does it feel in the body and that's your hell 357 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:10,000 yes right like uh yeah for me again like that ability to breathe is my yes and then what is your no 358 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,600 so you're in a meeting and you have to ask for something but you're feeling really insecure 359 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:20,000 and you don't know like do you feel small do you feel closed off is it hard to breathe and don't 360 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:27,600 confuse fear with excitement because they feel the same way so sometimes we have to get quite 361 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:32,560 quite careful with the emotions that we're feeling i actually think fear is a very good indicator of 362 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:39,680 what you should be doing as long as it's not life or death so get into your body and understand 363 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:44,480 like what feels like a no someone's taking advantage of you that's a big one for me right 364 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:48,960 they're taking advantage of you they want to pay you less or they said they were going to pay you 365 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,800 so much and they're underselling or whatever it might what does that feel like in your body 366 00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:57,920 and the more familiar you can get with the sensations of a yes and a no then you can look 367 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:03,040 at this scenario where you're having a nice girl moment and you can say what's my body feeling 368 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:10,560 right now am i betraying myself am i having a no moment but my guilt and my people pleasing 369 00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:18,960 is sort of coercing me to come across as a nice person right versus if you were to walk in there 370 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:24,480 ask for what you want and you actually got it yeah and that's the embodiment right it's understanding 371 00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:31,120 what your hell yes and your hell no's are because you might even be the one responsible for your 372 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:39,200 hell no and that's the tricky part because we self sacrifice we betray ourselves and I often tell 373 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:45,040 clients i'm like in these scenarios ask yourself in what way am i betraying myself right now 374 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:49,040 because you're definitely betraying yourself if you're in this big meeting and you're being given 375 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:54,640 this amazing opportunity and you're giving it away it reminds me of that mary and williamson 376 00:41:54,640 --> 00:42:00,160 quote and I always mention it it's like you're not doing anyone any favors by playing small 377 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:07,440 yeah so in those moments where you're feeling like a nice girl connect with your body and say 378 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:13,840 am i nicer am i kind because there's a big difference there and in this moment you're 379 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:20,000 like and in this moment what do I want and then go for it feel the fear and do it anyways that's 380 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:29,360 how we gain confidence absolutely I love that I must say really embodying your hell yes and 381 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:34,480 connecting to it to me at this stage after so much practice it already feels just so 382 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:41,200 pleasurable I'm like wow I hope people just learn it in school absolutely I wish I wish 383 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:46,560 and I mean it's so important on so many levels especially as we look at like child safety people 384 00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:51,120 need to know their hell knows and their hell yeses and what they feel like and to feel confident 385 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:57,360 enough to speak them yeah especially children I mean as a mother probably I would love you to share 386 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:03,120 if there are any ways you teach your little daughter to feel these things I definitely wasn't taught any 387 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:08,560 of that as a child and I can now as doing this work I'm like oh my god this has to be taught to 388 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:15,280 like five years old so that they don't get into trouble as as often we try to have very open and 389 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:20,960 honest conversations I think it's all it's also really important all of these regular self-regulation 390 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:27,920 tools breath work aroma therapy I mean everything is applicable to children too teaching them how 391 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:33,760 to take a deep breath how to be with their feelings how to try to communicate what's going on telling 392 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:39,360 them that they're not bad but maybe something they did was bad and then how do we work with that 393 00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:45,520 and that it's okay to say no right no is a good like you have a right to say it but let's talk 394 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:52,000 about the consequences and let's talk about what this means it's not easy I I get it wrong often 395 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:58,960 and I usually in hindsight I'm like oh that was the right way to upset it but I do think for 396 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:07,600 for parents that are listening at all of this be curious be conscious be intentional when we have 397 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:13,760 intent it means that we're taking control of our lives and as a parent I think that's a huge thing 398 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:19,600 with your children be intentional really try to get involved try to understand try to see it from 399 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:26,560 their point of view also best inner child work in the world having a child like because you're 400 00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:33,360 literally looking at yourself in front of you and you can feel everything it's really changed the 401 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:38,480 way that I look at my upbringing and what it felt like to be a little girl who felt misunderstood 402 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:44,800 or who didn't feel seen or who was desperate for attention and I became a pleaser because that's 403 00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:51,520 that's how I got attention and it's now the process of like unpacking that and learning a more 404 00:44:51,520 --> 00:45:00,240 authentic way of being so pleaser is really the opposite of authentic which has quite a big statement 405 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:07,680 and I feel like not really understood by many people and that's what I really want to take away 406 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:14,880 from this episode as most people do want to be authentic right most people want to be in their 407 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:22,240 full truth and power and this concept can be the one that can be so deeply addressed and then really 408 00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:29,280 transform the entire life of people definitely especially if you're a creative creativity 409 00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:34,800 requires authenticity and the moment that you're doing something for the sake of pleasing it's no 410 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:41,200 longer yours which means you're no longer being creative right you're just mimicking as a yoga 411 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:47,360 teacher I teach creative sequencing and every time I thought of like oh I want everyone to like this 412 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:52,320 I was like the moment I think that way I'm not teaching from my heart I'm not teaching the way 413 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:58,320 I want to teach and it's no longer authentic yeah and that's the the only way really to 414 00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:07,280 to be successful is to become okay with some people no liking you there's no one in the world 415 00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:13,360 who is like everyone and being okay with with the notion that those aren't your people yeah right 416 00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:18,640 they're not your people but there are people for you and those are the ones you want to find 417 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:25,280 don't waste your time on people that aren't for you yeah would you like to share some words of 418 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:31,440 wisdom for people who would like to recognize patterns in themselves and who want to get on a 419 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:37,520 path of healing or on the path of growth especially those who struggle with just trying to be nice 420 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:43,840 and lacking authenticity or wanting to be more authentic and powerful I would say don't be 421 00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:50,080 afraid of the messy middle you know kind of going back to what we talked about at the beginning like 422 00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:57,200 the Saturn returns or the midlife crisis or whatever it is that has you coming to this moment of 423 00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:01,600 things need to be different the way that I am isn't working for me or the life that I'm living isn't 424 00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:09,120 working for me get excited about that because these moments of transition I think are what life is 425 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:15,520 all about it's that void the great unknown that we're so terrified of the moment we give ourselves 426 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:22,880 the courage to step into that great unknown that's where the depth is and I mean depth of living 427 00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:28,960 depth of understanding depth of existence like you want to be in the depth even though it feels 428 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:34,000 scary and you don't know what's going to happen and you don't know how your life might change like 429 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:42,320 allow yourself or even tell yourself this is a really exciting time to explore and to do things 430 00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:48,960 that we should be allowed to do when we're young yeah feeling feeling really good and the unknown 431 00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:55,520 is to me it's like it's a key to happy life that's how it is all the time we can't control anything 432 00:47:55,520 --> 00:48:02,880 really and just it's an art of becoming so so grateful and so comfortable even if you just 433 00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:09,280 have no idea what's going to happen next and stay curious yeah yeah it's all about trust my favorite 434 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:16,080 quote that I came across recently was the opposite of uncertainty isn't certainty it's trust oh and 435 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:21,120 that's because control is a fallacy there's no such thing as certainty certainty doesn't exist and if 436 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:27,360 it did exist there'd be no faith there'd be no mysticism and so the only thing that we have to 437 00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:35,360 counter this whole notion of life being so uncertain is trust beautiful I would love to share more 438 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:42,320 about your work as a listeners would you like to tell us a bit more about your retreats and all your 439 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:52,960 offering yeah yes uh so started doing my sisterhood rising retreats here in Ibiza uh Ibiza is my hometown 440 00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:59,680 it is one of the most magical places in the world I am surrounded by just incredible powerful 441 00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:06,240 women and just the bonds of sisterhood are so authentic here I've I've really never experienced 442 00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:11,200 anything quite like it and so to be able to collaborate with some of these powerhouses on 443 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:18,560 the island and also to share the magic of Ibiza I've got two retreats coming up that are specific 444 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:25,680 to sisterhood rising in 2025 ones in May once in October I'm also co-facilitating two retreats next 445 00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:31,920 year one's going to be in June and the other one I think is in September so plenty of opportunities 446 00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:39,200 to come to this magic island and yeah the sisterhood rising in particular is a is a deep dive 447 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:48,400 into who we are and who we're not and all of the things that we confuse around feminine energy 448 00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:53,840 and most importantly the the sacred bonds of sisterhood just how powerful we are when we come 449 00:49:53,840 --> 00:50:01,680 together I also have a group coaching course and I do it twice a year so the next cohort will be 450 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:07,760 launching in January and I feel like the combination between this group coaching and then the retreats 451 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:13,600 are just next level because the group coaching gives you a lot of those initial stages I was 452 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:20,240 talking about of understanding I bring a lot of science neuroscience heavy knowledge based 453 00:50:20,240 --> 00:50:28,320 information into this course we get together on six calls and it's it's just such a sacred container 454 00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:33,920 and the groups are always unbelievable and then if you have the opportunity to come on retreat 455 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:38,960 meet each other it's just the most wonderful thing in the world so plenty of opportunities to work 456 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:45,360 together I also do one-on-one coaching and I teach yoga so I have a yoga app and if you're ever an 457 00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:52,720 Ibiza please let me know because I do teach here as well. Amazing people can find so many 458 00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:59,840 different ways of evolving right and growing and you offer all this diversity of options because 459 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:05,760 I can say from my experience like at certain stages in my life I could only do in person stuff 460 00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:11,280 and that would be the most supportive and at certain stages in my life the online containers 461 00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:17,040 were the most powerful and it's so amazing that these days people can find ways at work 462 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:23,520 and I really encourage more people to get into this past because it's just so so good and transforms 463 00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:24,720 the entire life. 464 00:51:24,720 --> 00:51:35,520 And that's it for today I hope this episode has left you feeling inspired empowered and more 465 00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:41,040 connected to your truth. If you enjoyed this episode please take a moment to subscribe to the 466 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:47,680 feminine bar podcast and leave us a rating. If you want me to ask any specific questions to our 467 00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:53,920 future guests please do leave us a comment wherever you are listening to this podcast 468 00:51:53,920 --> 00:52:00,080 and I will definitely address them. Your support means the world and helps us reach more women 469 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:06,560 with this transformative work and if you're ready to experience even more feminine magic 470 00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:14,320 I invite you to explore the field membership head to fill up.co slash membership or find the link 471 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:22,000 in the podcast description to learn more and claim your spot. Until the next time keep shining your 472 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:30,000 light keep embracing your unique journey and keep rising into the powerful human you are born to be. 473 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:54,000 I'm your host Maria Greenina.