I didn't bring my pajamas, of course. The night
stop wasn't planned. I have to sleep in my underwear
and a t -shirt. Me too, darling. We'll get over
it. Besides, the sheets are very clean. It's
not that. It's just that I feel a little embarrassed
in my baggy t -shirt and my underwear. I'm wearing
my usual cotton boxers with the blue ducks. I
know they look pathetic. They look great on you,
chick. They are so cute, and then you are fine
with anything. I wear very modest underwear.
I don't care about these things. You, on the
other hand, have very elegant underwear, a matching
t -shirt and shorts, black with white and silver
piping. Yeah, I like to treat myself well. It's
Calvin Klein. The one I did the underwear shoot
for? That. You have a practically perfect physique,
lean and muscular. You don't have an ounce of
belly. Are you trying to tell me in a nice way
that I'm still pretty fit for my age? No. I'm
saying you're fit overall, not for your age.
I try not to let go, my boy. It's not warm in
here at all. I think I'll keep my socks on. Loose
underwear and wool socks. I must be really ridiculous.
Anything but ridiculous, believe me. Now let's
get under the covers and have a good night's
sleep. All right, Johnny. Good night. Johnny.
Yes? This summer duvet is a little too light,
don't you think? Yes, it's a bit chilly. I would
say cold. Yes, it's May. But we are in the high
mountains and the heating should be kept on at
night too. On top of that, we don't have pajamas.
I thought. Did you think? Here, I was thinking
we could push the loungers together and keep
each other warm a little. Are you that cold,
little sparrow? Yes. And then I feel alone. Alone?
What do you say? If we are here together? Just
physically. You treat me like a stranger. I don't
treat you like a stranger at all. I treat you
like a baby marmot who needs sleep so he can
wake up rested tomorrow morning. Yes, but baby
marmots have fur. We should have brought a couple
of fur coats to the room, instead of leaving
them all in the car. I think you're exaggerating
a bit. I don't know what to tell you. Despite
the socks, my feet are freezing. Maybe you got
too cold when you were changing your furs, bare
-chested at 3 ,000 meters. My fault. But no,
it's not your fault. I'm just very sensitive
to the cold. You don't have a little fever, do
you? No, no fever. Apart from the cold, I'm fine.
Just a little stomachache because of all that
alcohol. I'm stupid. I know I shouldn't drink
so much. In the past, I've had some pretty serious
liver problems. Hepatitis from injection? Little
sparrow? Gianni. I thought so. You have to be
careful, darling. You are easy prey to all the
seductions. It is easy to push you to do the
wrong things. Why did you never tell me about
it? I would have stopped you from drinking spirits.
Anyway, if you have a stomachache, you really
need to stay warm. Listen, the beds are quite
wide, almost a queen size. There is no need to
push them together. There is room for two. Come
on, come here. Can I really? Of course you can.
I feel much better now. Can I stay like this?
Or does it bother you? Of course you can, Angel.
Johnny, I have to ask you something. What? I
don't know if what you told me was true. You
said you were in love with me, but then you forgot
about it within a few hours. I mean, I didn't
understand anything. I said some nonsense, little
puppy. What nonsense? That you loved me? No,
that I forgot. Obviously you can't fall out of
love in a matter of hours. But then... Yes, of
course, darling. I'm still in love with you.
Gianni, I have the impression that you really
love me. And I hope I'm not wrong. You're not
wrong, actually. I have feelings for you that
are quite rare in their kind. Not the usual crush,
I mean. Really? Really. So I want you to know
something. I feel them for you too. This is very
generous of you. Why do you say generous? There
is no need for generosity to love you. You are
a special man. Intelligent. Attractive. Charming.
Cultured. Witty. Completely different from all
the other people I have known. And then, you
have that surreal irony that makes you absolutely
irresistible. Irony is necessary for living,
my angel. If you take things seriously, it's
over. It's all so terribly sad and mediocre,
everything so grey, and you are a ray of light.
I can't help but love you. You always say beautiful
things to me, Gianni, thank you. You have no
idea how much I need it. That's what I think,
honestly. Gianni, if you want, I'm ready. Ready
for what? Ready to do whatever you want. Now!
What do you think I want, little Marmot? I don't
know. I thought... Well, I thought you wanted
to make love to me. Of course I want it, my little
one. I'm wanting it with all my being, and believe
me, I have to exercise considerable self -control
not to let go. You don't have to exercise any
self -control, Gianni. Just let yourself go.
I cannot. You can't. But why? Far be it from
me to be a moralist. That's not my style. That's
not the point. I want to be absolutely honest
with you. This is not the first time I've come
here in the company of some male, and we actually
had sex. Here, you see, but then... Be careful
with my words, honey. I never use words at random.
I said we had sex. I have no intention of having
sex with you. It has nothing to do with how I
feel about you. Johnny, I don't understand. I've
always thought the opposite. That is, that loving
a person is the ideal condition for having sex.
In fact, I think it's the only one. Sex without
love... He's squalid. Of course, chick. But it
depends on the circumstances. In this case, if
we have sex, we destroy everything and we will
end up never seeing each other again. Is this
what you want? Mind you, if you say yes, I'll
do as you wish. Because I would never want to
see you again if you told me that you were okay
with something like that. And then we might as
well have a memorable fuck and leave it at that.
No, Gianni. Absolutely not. I don't know what
to do with the memorable fuck if we never see
each other again. Well then, my little face,
we have to continue to be like this, just hugging
each other. But why? I really don't understand
your reasoning. I really want it. I wouldn't
feel forced at all. Baby, I know that at your
age you have strong sexual instincts, but believe
me, it's not really the case that you vent them
on me. Better alone in the bathroom instead.
I'll wait for you here. What are you talking
about, Gianni? You make me ashamed. I would never
do something like that. I'm not a beast, huh?
Even if you keep comparing me to all the little
animals you can think of. I imagined so. Because
deep down, you are as candid as an angel. No,
you're wrong. I've done some pretty dirty things
in the past. And it's not the first time I've
had a homosexual relationship. I've already had
two. I imagined this too. The conversation is
timely. Then we'll talk about it again. Johnny,
seriously. I don't understand why I can't do
it with you. You're the only person I would do
it with right now. I loved a woman very much,
the one with whom I had my son, but I can't love
her anymore because she humiliated me. It would
be strange if it were the other way around. You
can't love someone who humiliates you. Exactly.
I'm still fond of her. And to tell the truth,
I have sex with her every now and then. I like
it physically, but every time I feel dirty. It
means you are healthy. Healthy in soul, I mean.
It is the soul that loves, not the body. And
if the soul sees the body doing bad things, it
feels bad. Yes, that's exactly it. Instead you
make me feel special and beautiful. I feel like
I'm flying when I'm with you. So why is it wrong
for us to have sex? Listen to me, Sparrow. I
told you before that you have to use words appropriately.
You two studied classical studies, so you know
it. Things should always be called by their name.
Otherwise, as Orwell and Epicurus teach, the
perception of reality is completely altered.
Yes, I know. So give things a name. What is the
name of the thing you would like me to do to
you now? Here. Definitely something non -violent,
non -vulgar. Try to give it a name, darling.
What do you call that, something non -violent
and non -vulgar? Johnny, I... Sorry, I'm embarrassed.
And then, you didn't tell me what you want, but
what you don't want. Basically, you're telling
me that you don't want me to abuse your adorable
little ass, or am I wrong? No, you're not wrong.
It wouldn't really be in keeping with your character,
even if... Even if... Well, I guess it wouldn't
be the first time you've done this, since you
used to come here with your little friends. Of
course, the animal in me has often taken over.
But is that what you want? No, Gianni. This would
degrade your image in my eyes. It hurts me even
to think of you doing these things with other
boys. Perfect. So tell me what else you would
like me to do to you, or what you would like
to do to me. Gianni, dammit, you're crucifying
me! Crucifying why? Because I forced you to call
a spade a spade? Yes, I know. You're right. I'll
try to answer. I would like you to make me something
sweet. Sweet? Yes, I understand. But let's give
this something sweet a name. Do I really have
to? Absolutely yes. Otherwise you don't look
things in the face.