So, what do you think of how the houses are coming along, Manuèl?
They seem to be coming along really well. I particularly like this one, with the yellow plaster made with Pièa sand and those simple yet effective frescoes inside.
Beautiful, huh?
Yes. They are modest but charming little houses, each with its own little garden.
Oh, of course... The target I'm proposing them to is a group of Romanians I know, and Romanians don't buy anything unless there's some land for a vegetable garden.
I'd say it's perfect, then. Besides, I wouldn't have wanted a house without a garden either.
By the way, how are you finding your little house in Baldissero?
Great, Bruno: I and my friend Carlos, a carpenter by trade, renovated it, practically making it look brand new again. Luckily, it's not big, so the work wasn't particularly demanding.
You didn't plaster the exposed brick facade, did you? That was the beauty of it.
No, Bruno, I'm not crazy: I can still appreciate the beauty of the old solid bricks. But now the facade is almost completely covered in flowers: my friend Mayra had me hang pots all over the place and fill them with Parisian geraniums, surfinias, and dipladenias: a cascade of flowers, a truly spectacular view, even if it feels a bit like living in Snow White's little house. All that's missing are the seven dwarfs.
On the walls? Couldn't you have put them in the garden?
Oh, the garden is full of flowering plants: Mayra chose them all. They're plants that bloom at different times of the year, so every month my garden has its own flowers.
Well, you're inundated with flowers, my boy. Kind of gay, huh...
Yes: a bit sweetish for a male. But it's nice, come on. And then, you know, I also have some pretty rare trees: a beautiful oak that's at least a hundred years old and a Himalayan cedar that looks magnificent.
Oh yes, I remember that cedar: luckily it's at the edge of the garden, otherwise it would have taken the sun away with its shadow, it's so tall.
Yes, it's impressive. But why don't you come see my house one of these days? You'll like how it turned out.
Thanks, gladly, as soon as I can free myself from commitments. Luckily, I have work, and I'm always up and down with clients or stuck in that damn office with Patrizia, who obsesses me with her computer! Anyway, since you've put so much effort into it, why don't you take out a mortgage and buy it? There's no point in doing all that work for a rental.
Yes, you're right, at this point I think I will. I've almost finished paying off the loan to my brother and father, so I think I can afford a mortgage. I don't think the payments would be too burdensome, either.
No, the price is more than fair. Stop by the office tomorrow, so we can discuss it calmly.
Okay. After all, I have a business going now, the bank shouldn't even ask me for a guarantor.
Indeed. Is the nursery profitable for you?
I hesitate for a moment.
Yes, it pays me enough, but I also have other sources of income.
Like selling my little houses, huh?
Sure, Bruno, that too. But then I have… other jobs of my own.
I'm keeping quiet, having no intention of revealing my modeling activities to Bruno, especially now that I'm a little worried about Gianni's condition.
Great, Manuèl. By the way, if you come to the office, I'll introduce you to Simona.
Simona? And who is she?
Yeeeh, you'll see for yourself: a six-foot-tall girl with straight, Swedish blonde hair. In short, a hottie, my boy.
Oh. Yes, okay, I'd be happy to meet her, I say dryly. But what's she doing in your office?
She's been working for me for a few days: she takes clients for visits, like you do from time to time.
Oh okay, she's one of your collaborators, I guess.
Yes. She has amazing legs, you know? She's the classic long-legged girl with model legs.
Mmmh, interesting, I say coldly.
Oh yes, I know you're engaged, that's not why I said it. But it's always good for the eyes and the soul to see beautiful legs, right?
I smile.
Yes, I think so.
By the way, what are your girlfriend's legs like?
Long, well-shaped, a little hairy.
Bruno is speechless.
Hairy?
Oh yes. I don't like legs that are too smooth and hairless.
Bruno looks at me like I'm an alien.
Are you kidding me, Manuèl?
No, no, seriously. That kind of person wouldn't look good with shaved legs, believe me.
Bruno doesn't know what to say, poor guy. I give him a friendly pat on the shoulder and smile.
Come on, let's go and have our usual white wine at the bar.
He hesitates a bit, then walks with me.
You sure are strange, Manuèl.
Yes, I'm a little weird.
But after the bar come with me to the office, so I can introduce you to Simona.
Okay, if you really want to.
It's worth it, my boy, you'll see.

...

Simona, this is Emmanuel.
Nice to meet you, Emmanuel.
Nice to meet you, Simona.
And it's actually a pleasure to look at her: she's a very beautiful girl of about thirty, with long platinum blonde hair down to her back and dark eyes (a sign that her hair is probably dyed), almost as tall as me: she has the body and bearing of a fashion model and is dressed with a sporty elegance that suits her very well.
So Simo, where were you going?
To the castle of Dusino San Michele, Bruno, as we had agreed.
But does the client have the money or not? Because that's a big deal, a historic building, and huge.
Yes, Bruno, they're a Swiss couple with ambitions to become lords of a castle. They certainly have the money, though they'll certainly haggle over the price.
This is normal, you always negotiate: just don't overdo it. What language do you speak to them in?
French. I'm getting by, but I'm a little nervous: you know, it's one thing to chat about this and that, but it's quite another to describe a building with the right technical terms.
Of course, Simo. But now that I think about it, this guy speaks French rather well. Right, Manuèl?
I knew it: Bruno has me set up. I was trying to play dumb: I was wandering around the office, chatting with Patrizia and stroking Mao's head, reclining in an armchair as usual, but my ostentatious disinterest didn't work. I turn around with a smile.
Yes, Bruno?
I was saying you speak French rather well: you told me you studied French at school, as a second language. Why don't you accompany Simona to Dusino Castle? That way you can see it too, which is something it deserves. And when Simona has any trouble with technical terms or something like that, you step in and help her.
It's hard for me to say no: Bruno has faith in me and "Simo" is looking at me with a hopeful smile.
How long will it take? I ask, just to be on the safe side. I have to be at the nursery in the early afternoon.
You'll get by in an hour and a half.
I sigh.
Okay, let's go then.
Simona also sighs, with relief.
Thank you, you really take a weight off my chest.
Forget about it.
We walk up the office stairs and reach Simona's SUV, which is obviously much newer and more elegant than mine. We climb aboard and set off.
Simona drives carefully and safely, yet still shows off one of her beautiful legs through the slit in her mid-season tweed skirt. Little by little, my tension eases: I relax and listen to her words, inspired by pragmatism and common sense: "Simo" is not only a beautiful woman, but also an intelligent and pleasant person.
You know, Emmanuel... sorry, may I address you informally?
Of course.
You know, this assignment makes me feel embarrassed: it's the first time I've been involved in the sale of such an important piece.
I believe it: selling a castle is a huge responsibility. And the clients have to be truly wealthy to be able to afford it.
Yes, they are: they are a married couple in their fifties who are absolutely determined to be lords of a castle.
Then they are the right people.
I really want to complete this sale, not only for Bruno, but also for myself: I would earn a very nice commission from it.
I imagine: with a building that costs that much...
Not much, in proportion: you know, the bigger and more complicated a building is to sell, the more its price is affected. But yes, it's still very expensive. Those two are rich, but I'll bet anything that sooner or later they'll be forced to convert the castle into a hotel: they all end up like that. People have no idea how much it costs to maintain a building like that, even just for heating.
Without a doubt, Simona: I see how much it costs me to maintain my 65-square-meter house...
Do you live around here?
On the Baldissero hill.
Ah, magnificent place. I also live in the hills, but near Castelnuovo. Back to the sale, Bruno was thorough as usual and prepared all the documents for me: floor plan, land registry, etc.
She points to a yellow cardboard folder closed with an elastic band on the back seat.
He gave them to me a week ago, so I've translated everything and will have no problem describing the interior of the building to the Swiss couple. However, this morning Bruno also gave me a card with brief information about the building's history and exterior: it has a large park. Now, that was a low blow: he can't give me something that long to translate five minutes before the visit.
Simona shakes her head, rather annoyed.
Could I ask you, please, to try translating it while I drive? Maybe you could do the story and exterior description yourself, if you'd like.
She smiles at me kindly.
Of course, Simona.
I turn to pick up the folder, open it, and pull out the note, written in Bruno's hand: fortunately, his handwriting is very clear and neat, easy to read. I concentrate on the text to be translated and say nothing else until we arrive at our destination.
Finally, before me, the outline of the castle appears, emerging from a magnificent tree-lined meadow on what appears to be a plain, but which, as I read in Bruno's description, is actually a vast, flat plateau. I'm reminded of the atmosphere Gianni loves, but this one, just as Bruno wrote, actually has the appearance of a neo-Gothic palace: its structure entirely of solid brick would make it resemble a gigantic country cottage, were it not for the beautiful round turret emerging from the main body of the building.
The two Swiss customers are already waiting for us in front of their metallic-gray Audi TT 8N. They are both blond and very tall: the lady is a typical Nordic woman in her late forties, with a cool, elegant beauty; the husband is a handsome man with small round glasses and an intellectual air. They smile when they see us and hold out their hands.
Bonjour! Je suis Simona, enchantée de faire votre connaissance, Simona begins, speaking formal and correct French, if a little awkward.
Avez-vous eu du mal à trouver l'endroit?
Non, pas du tout: le château est facile à trouver; il est indiqué presque partout. Il est également bien visible depuis la route.
Oui, c'est vrai. Puis-je vous présenter mon collègue? Il vous assistera également aujourd'hui. 
Simona points to me. I understand it's my turn to speak.
Bonjour, je suis Emmanuel, I say, holding out my hand, which the couple takes turns shaking. They have a very firm, almost Viking-like, grip.
Enchanté de vous rencontrer, Emmanuel.
The husband smiles again and comments:
Un très jeune collègue, je vois!
Oui, très jeune, mais il a déjà une certaine expérience dans le domaine de l'immobilier, Simona lies. I nod, but I don't feel like confirming verbally. I'm still mentally rehearsing the speech I'm about to deliver, taken from Bruno's profile.
Simona begins to walk into the large park, followed by the two customers and me.
N'hésitez pas à visiter les lieux à votre rythme. Vous trouverez ci-joint une brochure contenant toutes les informations relatives à la propriété, she says, handing clients a package prepared by the diligent Patrizia.
La propriété bénéficie d'un emplacement stratégique: à 10 minutes du péage de Villanova, à 10 minutes du centre d'Asti et à environ 30 minutes de Turin. Elle se situe sur un terrain de 3 hectares agrémenté d'un parc centenaire. Pendant notre promenade dans le parc, mon collègue vous expliquera les principaux détails de l'histoire du château.
Parfait! Nous écouterons avec plaisir.
I take a deep breath and start talking as I walk with them, feigning naturalness as much as possible.
Le château de Dusino San Michele, d'origine médiévale (probablement du 12e siècle), a subi de nombreuses rénovations au fil des siècles, ce qui lui confère son style architectural actuel des 18e et 19e siècles. Entouré à l'origine de remparts et de douves, il arbore aujourd'hui, comme vous pouvez le constater, une allure plus majestueuse.
Oui, il ressemble davantage à un palais qu'à un château, confirms the husband, observing the structure.
En effet. Cependant, la tour trahit ses origines et lui donne l'apparence d'un château médiéval. À l'origine, il s'agissait d'une structure fortifiée datant du 12e siècle. Rénovée et modifiée au fil du temps, elle s'est transformée en la prestigieuse demeure que nous connaissons aujourd'hui. Elle comprend également une chapelle et une maison d'hôtes.
My explanation is going smoothly: the two customers listen to it and nod their heads.
I continue walking, talking, and I feel more like a tour guide than a real estate agent. But, from that perspective, it's Simona who's responsible for that. So, at the end of my explanation, I smile with satisfaction and fall silent, contenting myself with strolling through the beautiful park. Finally, I follow Simona inside the castle, which, after all the renovations it underwent during the 19th and 20th centuries, looks more like an elegant stately home than a castle. In the end, only the exterior remains medieval, thanks largely to the tower. I appreciate some magnificent coffered ceilings of fine wood, but I find the bathroom renovation frankly awful: I don't know how anyone could have thought of covering the walls with those classic 1970s geometric tiles! Besides being hideous in themselves, they create a stark contrast with the palace's elegance. I imagine the Swiss couple are planning a complete renovation of some rooms: they will certainly haggle a lot on the price, assuming they are truly convinced of buying the castle.
…
The visit is over.
J'espère que la visite vous a plu, concludes Simona, shaking hands with the two spouses. C'était un plaisir de vous accueillir aujourd'hui. N'hésitez pas à nous contacter si vous souhaitez programmer une deuxième visite ou discuter plus en détail de la propriété.
Nous ne manquerons pas d’en programmer une. Merci encore pour la visite et vos explications. Nous vous recontacterons. À bientôt!
À bientôt et bon retour!
The two customers get back into their Audi, while Simona and I reach her SUV, a comfortable, gunmetal-colored Opel Monterey, almost new. I check my watch.
Are you in a hurry?, Simona asks me, noticing my gesture.
Yes, a little. I'll barely have time to nibble on something before rushing to the nursery, where a couple of important clients are waiting for me.
Do you have a nursery?
Yes, I have a nursery in Baldissero, above Valle Ceppi. It's still small, but growing.
Damn, you're working hard for someone your age.
I smile.
Yes, I have to: you know, I have a son who's almost two years old.
Simona turns to look at me in surprise.
Really? You've jumped the gun, I'd say. Are you married?
No. Do you have children?
Yes, two, but I'm separated. It didn't work out with my husband.
Simona ends the conversation laconically, and it's clear she doesn't want to talk about her marriage. Strangely, she doesn't even ask me about my failed marriage, nor does she try to find out who I had that child with.
Would you like to grab a bite to eat at the Giardino bar?
Yes, gladly: I can't have a proper lunch today.
Simona smiles and drives towards Castelnuovo.
Thanks for the explanation in French.
You're welcome. I learned French quite well at school.
Yes, you don't actually have a bad accent.
You're a nice, smart guy, she adds after a silence. And a very handsome guy, too.
Thanks, I shield myself, coming from you it really does sound like a compliment: you have Bruno's entire office drooling over you, excuse the expression.
She laughs.
Yes, I know. But I don't care about that kind of relationship at all: I'm not selling myself to the highest bidder.
You're right: it's terrible to have squalid relationships.
Are you engaged?
I bite my lip, not knowing what to say.
Yes and no.
Sorry, what do you mean yes and no?
I remain silent for a while, then I decide to spit it out, I don't know why.
Simona, I'm with a man.
She looks at me out of the corner of her eye, unable to hide her amazement.
Ah, she simply says.
Please don't tell Bruno.
No, of course.
After a long silence she adds:
You're not gay, anyway.
How do you deduce that? I ask her with a half smile.
Feminine intuition, she replies, letting a part of her long thigh, sheathed in smoky gray nylon stockings, emerge from the slit.
I shake my head and laugh.
No, I'm not completely gay, you're right.
You're not even a little bit. You've simply fallen in love, and so you don't care about the gender of the person you love. You're blind, like all lovers.
Yes, you're right, that's how it is, I reply.
For the rest of the trip we don't speak anymore, and even at the bar, we only discuss the details of the castle visit. Simona is convinced of the clients' genuine interest in the property, while I'm more skeptical. Too many interior details have convinced me that the expense of restoring the castle to its original dignity is enormous, and I don't know if the Swiss couple will want to spend all that money.
One thing's for sure, Simona, I conclude, taking a sip of my usual pineapple juice. Even if they decide to make an offer, they'll haggle like hell. Expect an indecent offer.
She smiles at me and glances at me over the elegant glass from which she is drinking her white wine.
From whom? From them… or from you?
I blush and change the subject.