1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:16,280 Welcome to Dating Log, podcast that records the ups and downs of dating in your 30s. 2 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:19,640 This is episode two, and it's a good one to listen to. 3 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,800 I talked with someone who had a lot of great anecdotes to share about dating all over the 4 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:24,800 world. 5 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,760 We had a fun conversation and found it hard to cut back. 6 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:32,520 So this episode is slightly longer than a usual one will be, but I promise it's worth 7 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:33,520 it. 8 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:34,520 Let's go. 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:35,520 My name is AJ. 10 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,520 I'm 33 years old. 11 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,120 I'm based in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,720 I'm a digital nomad. 13 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:45,880 I'm a straight man, and I'm currently using Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, sometimes OKCupid as 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:46,880 well. 15 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,160 AJ and I met back in January on a hookup app. 16 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:50,160 It's called Field. 17 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:54,600 Within literally two to five minutes, we talked. 18 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:59,000 I said, meet me at the Arthur rooftop bar at 6 p.m. 19 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000 Met you there. 20 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:01,160 I'm nicely dressed. 21 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,080 You're dressed very nomadic. 22 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:08,120 What made me very attractive to you was the fact that you went into your fucking bag and 23 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:14,080 you pulled out a dress and got dressed outside of the goddamn hotel because it was like a 24 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,480 fancy ass rooftop bar. 25 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:21,800 We went up to fancy chandeliers and shit, security and all that, Sunset View rooftop 26 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:23,520 bar, watermelon cocktails. 27 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,080 It was a vibe. 28 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,440 We went for noodles, went to a jazz bar. 29 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,280 Both were just super spontaneous. 30 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,640 And at 2 a.m., we went out for midnight breakfast. 31 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,640 Yeah, it was just good. 32 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:33,640 It was good. 33 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,320 It was just good chemistry, good energy. 34 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,600 So could you tell our listeners, why are you in Brazil right now? 35 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,160 I came back to Brazil because of the time zone. 36 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:48,120 It was just much easier to work with American clients in South America compared to being 37 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,320 in Asia for the last seven months. 38 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:57,360 And can you tell us a bit, how do you go about dating as someone who is frequently traveling 39 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,280 and changing cities and also working for themselves? 40 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,040 It can be challenging because I am getting older. 41 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,880 I would ideally like to find someone that can travel with me. 42 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:12,440 I think a lot of nomad travelers want that, having a partner to travel with, because it's 43 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,880 time consuming to date now. 44 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:22,920 I mostly go about it through dating apps, so Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, maybe OkCupid. 45 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:27,960 And sometimes just going to meetups as well and meeting other digital nomads sometimes 46 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:28,960 as well. 47 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,360 But it can be hard dating nomads as well. 48 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:31,640 It can be really hard. 49 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:37,280 Do you use the apps maybe to meet different kinds of people or do you find different pools 50 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:38,280 of people? 51 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:39,280 Because this is also interesting, right? 52 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:43,320 I'm sure Tinder and Bangkok could be different than Tinder and Rio. 53 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:52,520 I've traveled to 75 countries and I've found that often Tinder has somewhat of the same 54 00:02:52,520 --> 00:03:00,400 meaning in most countries, where it's mostly used as a hookup or a sex app, where I tend 55 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:05,200 to see more serious relationships, people who are wanting serious relationships, mostly 56 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,720 on Bumble. 57 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,840 And from time to time, OkCupid or Hinge. 58 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:17,480 But I do hear those rare stories of lovers meeting on Tinder here and there sometimes. 59 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:24,400 But for the most part, I've seen more serious dating experiences from people who are on 60 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,040 Bumble or Hinge. 61 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:30,400 You mentioned that the apps were time consuming. 62 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:35,360 About how much time are you spending on these apps, let's say? 63 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:42,120 Because being an American in some of these countries, it does make you somewhat desirable. 64 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,840 And so you get a lot of matches. 65 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:50,440 Sometimes you have to communicate to kind of weed out what's serious or what's not. 66 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,880 So it could be one, two hours a day. 67 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:57,560 It may be some morning conversations and then some evening conversations. 68 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:04,280 But I would say that I'm very straight to the point when I match with someone. 69 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,320 And I try to meet them as soon as possible. 70 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:12,280 What is your profile say and look like, if I may ask? 71 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:17,840 Profile is full of pictures of me traveling, me with some friends, graduation photos. 72 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:23,960 I think a respectable mom and dad profile. 73 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,000 And I think, you know, I try to show personality. 74 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,480 I mentioned that I'm educated. 75 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,120 I mentioned that I travel a lot. 76 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,640 I mentioned I'm a content creator. 77 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:34,640 I like poetry. 78 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:36,640 I like to play chess, you know. 79 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,660 So the common typical things. 80 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:45,560 So I try to create a profile that matches the energies of the people that I try to attract. 81 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:50,120 The way you're describing the profile that you have, that sounds interesting to me. 82 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,360 Like you've kind of catered it in this way. 83 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,240 Like, hey, I'm traveling. 84 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,240 I'm into this. 85 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,820 I do like poetry. 86 00:04:56,820 --> 00:04:59,020 I do work nomadically. 87 00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:00,600 This is my lifestyle. 88 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:06,200 What I'm curious is you're looking for someone to kind of get maybe a bit more serious with, 89 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,080 to travel with, to live this lifestyle with you. 90 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,280 How do you communicate that part within your profile? 91 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:17,760 I'd say, well, I'd definitely say, hey, I'm going to be traveling and I want to travel, 92 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:18,760 buddy. 93 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,000 You know, these are the countries I want to be hitting up. 94 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:28,920 And I try to explain usually on my first couple of dates that I'm very spontaneous. 95 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:36,080 I was in Thailand a few weeks ago and I was on a date with this woman and I was leaving 96 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,200 to fly to Brazil, to Rio in 24 hours. 97 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:44,560 I was flying to Rio and she was like, oh, I'm so sad because we never got a chance to take 98 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,560 a trip together. 99 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,640 And I was like, okay, let's take one right now. 100 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,720 And she thought I was bullshitting. 101 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,160 And I booked a hotel. 102 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,200 We were in Bangkok and we took a trip to Pattaya. 103 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,280 And I was like, listen, be ready in the next 60 minutes. 104 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,280 We're hopping. 105 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,080 We're about to go to Pattaya and go to the beach. 106 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,400 And I already booked the Airbnb. 107 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:07,400 And she was like, I don't have no clothes. 108 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:08,400 I'm like, don't worry about it. 109 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,400 We'll get them when we get there. 110 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:15,520 And you know, so I'm very like, you know, it can be scary sometimes meeting someone 111 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,520 like that. 112 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:23,360 And I've done it a few times on dates where I would just spontaneously say, hey, let's 113 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:24,360 go to Paris. 114 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,640 Let's go to Amsterdam today. 115 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,600 And sometimes I would think I'm joking. 116 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,600 That sounds hella fun. 117 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:35,120 To a lot of women, it's scary to some people because it's very terrifying. 118 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,000 And for because we we've been living this. 119 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,400 I've been living this life for so long. 120 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:44,880 I'm just I'm just used to packing up and going and just, you know, I know how to just move. 121 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:52,000 So can you tell me a little bit about your like personal dating history so I know where 122 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,000 you're coming from? 123 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Yeah. 124 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:58,360 I was deeply in love with a woman about seven years ago. 125 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:02,080 I think that was like the last time I was seriously in love with someone. 126 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:09,160 And I had to choose between chasing my dreams or being with the love of my life. 127 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,480 And I chose the dreams. 128 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,000 And we got into a big fight, big argument sadly enough. 129 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:20,280 And I would not be the person I am today if I didn't, you know, I would not be living 130 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,600 this lifestyle, be able to afford this lifestyle. 131 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:27,280 If I did not go off and moved, I moved to Australia. 132 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,200 Got accepted to University of Sydney Business School. 133 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,480 I'm a first generation student. 134 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,720 One of my family went off to college and I had a chance to go get my master's degree. 135 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:36,920 And I grew up very poor. 136 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,720 And it's me going to Australia changed my life. 137 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,120 But it's extremely hard to find like love. 138 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:47,720 You know, I want to tell a lot of people out there like if I could go back, I would probably 139 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,720 choose love or I would probably do it a different way. 140 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:56,400 Unfortunately, you know, after five years, I returned back to America. 141 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:03,480 And then when COVID hit and I was stuck in America, dating was really bad in America 142 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,480 for me. 143 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:05,480 Why? 144 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,480 Why was it bad for you? 145 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:13,600 Because I traveled so much that I just wasn't Americanized. 146 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,800 I didn't believe in the American dream. 147 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:21,920 I didn't like how transactional dating was in America as well. 148 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,520 Can you explain that a bit more? 149 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,760 Like what you mean by transactional? 150 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:31,920 Let's just say so I want to go on a date with someone that wants to get to know me. 151 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,320 I want to be enough. 152 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,920 In America, you have to have a house, you have to have a car, you have to make over 153 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:39,920 six figures. 154 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:44,880 You know, you have to you know, this is my experience. 155 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,440 Once again, I want people to understand that this is my experience. 156 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,020 You got to have a big dick. 157 00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:51,840 You got to you know, you got to have a six pack. 158 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,200 The expectations were so high. 159 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,720 And then there was a lot of expectations about you know, where you go out to eat. 160 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,320 It wasn't just taking someone out to eat. 161 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,960 It was where you have to go out to eat. 162 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:08,640 And I found myself spending 200, 300, $500 on dates. 163 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,840 And it was me. 164 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:16,600 I just realized it was me that I no longer fit into the traditional ways of dating in 165 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,600 America. 166 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:23,880 And then I started going overseas and just started realizing that I was solely enough. 167 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:30,040 In America, well, one thing I will say that being an entrepreneur and having a digital 168 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:37,640 nomad mindset is just extremely I think that's also extremely hard for me to date someone 169 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:41,000 who have been raised with traditional American values. 170 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,840 That's have a family. 171 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,040 Get your push yourself in a 30 year mortgage. 172 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:51,560 Go to Costco's or Tarjay on the weekends and travel twice a year. 173 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,280 And I was like, that's not me. 174 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,080 I want to wake up in Paris. 175 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:59,200 You know, I want to go to Amsterdam just to drink some coffee. 176 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,480 You know, like I'm that type of person. 177 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:07,840 So I just didn't identify with the traditional ways of dating American women, but often I 178 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:11,320 found that, you know, and it's understandable when you're an entrepreneur and you're dating 179 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:17,040 someone who's a nine to five worker, you just have two different views on life. 180 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,680 And you know, so I struggled, I struggled with it personally with my lifestyle and with 181 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,840 the person I am today. 182 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,800 And I guess to kind of play off what you're saying. 183 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:32,600 So you did mention your age in the beginning, and this is also a podcast about what it's 184 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,880 like to be dating over the age of 30. 185 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,400 And it yeah, what's harder? 186 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,400 Tell me what's harder. 187 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:45,260 Then I found when I was dating in America and I was dating women over the age of 30, 188 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:51,920 I had this huge expectation that majority women that I would match with were already 189 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:52,920 parents. 190 00:10:52,920 --> 00:11:00,480 So I already had this expectation in my head that I'm going to be a stepdad no matter what. 191 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:09,480 And you know, and I was like, man, I was afraid of situations like that because I love kids. 192 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:14,560 And I don't ever want to be in a situation where I'm struggling to if things don't go 193 00:11:14,560 --> 00:11:18,720 right, I'm struggling to leave someone because I'm attached to their child. 194 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:24,160 So that's one of the struggles dating your 30s for me when I was in the States. 195 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:29,640 But when you're dating overseas, you're you know, it's a completely different perspective 196 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,320 on how people view dating. 197 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:38,800 You know, you know, I'm able to date from 25 and up, you know, compared to in America 198 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,240 where I was dating a lot of people in their 30s. 199 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:46,840 It also becomes harder because you start factoring in a lot of things like well, you start getting 200 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:47,840 more serious about life. 201 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:52,240 You can start getting more serious about health as well. 202 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:56,360 I went on a date with this woman who was 35, 36. 203 00:11:56,360 --> 00:12:03,720 And I had recommended I was in Argentina and I have you know, I recommended a five star 204 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,240 vegetarian restaurant. 205 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,560 And she gave me a look like she was about to throw up. 206 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,440 And she was like, I want some meat. 207 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,440 I want some beef. 208 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,880 Like very fancy. 209 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,800 And I realized that I start learning more about myself in my 30s, like the type of energy 210 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,160 I want around me. 211 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:24,720 Like I'm going to fall off track from time to time. 212 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:28,040 You know, some nights I'm going to I'm definitely going to order a pizza for me and my partner. 213 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,680 We're going to get a pizza here and there. 214 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:33,800 But I need my partner or myself to wake up and say, yo, we need to go walk this shit 215 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,480 off or we need to go to the gym. 216 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:40,480 So I'm more attracted to energy like that in my 30s, which is sometimes hard to find 217 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,920 depending on where you live, where I want to be with someone who's more health conscious. 218 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,760 They don't have to go to the gym with me every day. 219 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,600 They don't have to eat the same thing as me. 220 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,720 But I want to be with a partner that we're looking out for each other at the end of the 221 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,280 day because we're in our 30s. 222 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,320 So you know, and I'm black, black don't crack. 223 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,440 I'm going to look this sexy forever. 224 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:05,480 But I want my partner to look good with me as well. 225 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,360 And I want us to continue to be attracted to each other. 226 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:12,440 So being in your 30s, your expectations change a little bit about the energies and the type 227 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,000 of people you want coming into your life versus when you're in your 20s. 228 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,720 I think everyone just wants to fuck. 229 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:18,720 They just want to have fun. 230 00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,720 They want to have a good time. 231 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:24,040 But you start thinking more and more about the people that you want around you because 232 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,960 energy is important when you get to this age. 233 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,360 Yeah, totally. 234 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,760 The playoff, you mentioned something about Bola Nessa's first. 235 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:37,320 What is your dating age range and does it change when you change location? 236 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:44,000 It definitely may change sometimes when it when it when it goes to locations. 237 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:51,440 I want to say anywhere from 25 to 40, 42, 45. 238 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:57,600 But I've often found the average. 239 00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,000 How do I say this without being controversial? 240 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:08,520 Like in Thailand, most 40 and 50 year old women are single and a lot of Thai men tend 241 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:13,760 to divorce their wives when they get old and they marry younger women. 242 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,440 And a lot of Thai men are not attracted to older women. 243 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:17,440 They want younger women. 244 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,800 When you go to the gym or you just when you walk around Thailand, you see these 40 year 245 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,640 olds with these amazing bodies. 246 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,360 They're in shape like crazy. 247 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,440 They're very attracted to women. 248 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,080 Same for Brazilian women as well. 249 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:37,960 So often I see a lot more like I never thought about dating 40 and 50 year old women in their 250 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:43,360 40s and 50s until I start traveling overseas and start seeing a more healthier version 251 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,640 of 40 and 50 year old women. 252 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,080 And I'm like, wow, you know, like, oh my God, you're more in shape than me. 253 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,080 And working out every day. 254 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,080 I don't know. 255 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:57,680 Sometimes when you date someone in their 40s and 50s, they're more they already have their 256 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:58,680 money. 257 00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,680 They have a house. 258 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:00,680 They're cooking. 259 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,680 They'll cook for you. 260 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,920 You know, you know, it's not bad sometimes. 261 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,760 But yeah, it's fun. 262 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,760 It's really good. 263 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:08,760 It's good. 264 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:09,760 Me and someone. 265 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,840 So yeah, that's my age range, but it does change depending on the country for sure. 266 00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:12,840 Shit. 267 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,760 Is that that's like a thing that men will divorce their wives when they get older in 268 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,280 like Southeast Asia? 269 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:24,520 Yeah, Asia, South America, even Southern like even like Spain. 270 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,320 I often would see it as well. 271 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,160 Like a lot of guys divorcing their wives when they get older. 272 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:37,460 And and and and then there are in these countries in Asia or in or in Brazil, a lot of these 273 00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:40,040 women don't even know that they're attractive. 274 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,040 They're so beautiful. 275 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,040 So beautiful. 276 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,520 But they they because they're 50. 277 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,200 They're like, oh, nobody wants me. 278 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,760 And I'm like, I want you. 279 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:53,000 I'm like, oh my God, you know how desirable you would be in America or the UK. 280 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,280 Yeah, it happens. 281 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,280 It's pretty common. 282 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,280 It's scary, though. 283 00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:00,320 It's scary that I don't know, like to see so many guys. 284 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:05,920 Like, it's it's just scary that that's the only result still to this day. 285 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:11,000 You often see a guy just divorcing their partners without having a conversation, without 286 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,520 being open to open relationship, without trying to make it work. 287 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:20,120 Like me being with someone for the next 10, 15 years, I don't know if I could just throw 288 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,320 it away, you know. 289 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,080 Yeah, just like that. 290 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:30,000 And it's just scary to see so many guys just throw away their marriages after that many 291 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,600 years of, you know, I don't know, man. 292 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,120 I don't know if I can do that. 293 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,320 Yeah, for such like a surface level. 294 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:42,240 Nothingness like purely based on looks or whatever looks I feel like. 295 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,680 Yeah, purely based on looks. 296 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:50,120 And I think sometimes as as human beings, it's normal for us to get comfortable in life. 297 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:54,060 I think when we get in relationships, we get comfortable when we get new jobs, we get comfortable 298 00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:56,720 and sometimes we get too comfortable. 299 00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:00,040 But I think that it's important communication is important. 300 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:07,600 But also how you start off a relationship to be if you start off a relationship healthy, 301 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:13,260 doing healthy things together, you know, I think it go it can work out now for me as 302 00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,580 well. 303 00:17:14,580 --> 00:17:15,580 It's funny. 304 00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:23,360 I was in Argentina and I think I don't know if it was somewhere Columbia, but I started 305 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:27,360 matching with a lot of women who love to hike. 306 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,000 And I was like, do you see me? 307 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:34,320 I'm not a hiker. 308 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,520 They all were matching with me. 309 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,760 They're all like, hey, come come hiking with me today. 310 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,280 I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 311 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,880 I'm the type to go I'm the guy that's going to cook for you. 312 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:46,360 I'm going to have dinner ready when you can come back from that height. 313 00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,360 Or we can do walks. 314 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:53,760 We can do like indoor climbing, maybe, but I'm not going to the goddamn forest to get 315 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,000 eaten by some monkeys and some lions and tigers. 316 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000 That's not me. 317 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 No, no, no, no. 318 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 That's not your thing. 319 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 That's not my thing. 320 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,000 But I'm going to compromise. 321 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:07,440 I'm not going to be a boring person and just say no to everything. 322 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:10,320 I got tricked into a date in Malaysia. 323 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,360 This woman tricked me. 324 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:17,560 She said we were going to have a picnic and she ended up taking me to a goddamn jungle. 325 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:22,000 Oh, man, I tell you, I cussed her out so bad. 326 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,960 That was one of the worst dates in my fucking life is monkeys shooting from the trees, snakes 327 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:27,960 and shit. 328 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,800 I'm thinking it's going to be a romantic picnic. 329 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,680 It was completely different. 330 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,840 Never went back on a date with her again. 331 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:37,840 Never did. 332 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:45,520 In fairness, I can imagine that what a picnic means in one country does not mean in another 333 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,520 country. 334 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,080 I was just thinking romance, man. 335 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,520 I was just like, oh, it's going to be a nice day. 336 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,760 Boom, boom, boom, sunny. 337 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,800 And then, shoot, monkeys just jump everywhere. 338 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,400 This is like a monk has a monk. 339 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,600 Oh, now I'm saying monkeys. 340 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,960 A myth has been debunked. 341 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,080 Like picnics, not always romantic. 342 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,480 No, not always. 343 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:11,440 Be, do your research for people out there. 344 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:17,440 I want to ask, what do you usually do when you go on dates with people? 345 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:24,040 Dating now, because it's so cheap in the countries that I live in, I'm able to do a lot more 346 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,560 crazy stuff. 347 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:35,680 When I was in Thailand, first I would read the energy and I would try to read the energy 348 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:36,680 with the person. 349 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:42,920 But I should also mention in America, because dating was so expensive, it was just traditional 350 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:49,080 to just have one location and one date because it was so expensive, I feel like, or still 351 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:53,320 expensive even more now with inflation in America. 352 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:59,120 In Thailand, I could start the date off at a rooftop bar, watching the sunset, having 353 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:04,640 drinks, and you're only going to spend anywhere from $10 to $20. 354 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,800 That's just starting off the date. 355 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,440 You can go to a nice fancy Japanese restaurant or a Chinese restaurant or a Thai place. 356 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,520 Then you can head off to a cool jazz club or you can go bowling. 357 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,160 You're still under $15, $20. 358 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,160 You're still at $60. 359 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:26,280 Dating with me now, it's usually like, if the vibe is really good, you're probably hitting 360 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,800 up three or five spots. 361 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:35,600 But five star for us in some of these countries, it's not five star prices. 362 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:41,360 That's the amazing thing when you go out. 363 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,920 Dating can be super fun. 364 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,080 Dating can be very spontaneous as well. 365 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:50,200 I've told some women, bring your passport on the first date, you never know. 366 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,200 No shit, what? 367 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:56,840 Yeah, if the vibe is right, man, I'm all about vibe and energy. 368 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,600 We're having a good time, we're comfortable. 369 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,760 You can tell how a date starts off. 370 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:10,760 You can tell the energy of how it's going to go, how it won't go, how a person sits 371 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:15,080 down compared to how distant they are, how closed off they are. 372 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:19,320 You can read the energy and the scenery of a date when it starts. 373 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,320 Yeah, I agree. 374 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,840 Within that first few minutes. 375 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,080 Oh man, you can feel it. 376 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,800 I feel like it's okay even after those first two minutes for people to just be honest and 377 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,640 say, no, turn back around. 378 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,440 Don't waste your time. 379 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,680 Have you ever done that? 380 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,680 Have you ever done that? 381 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,520 I've never done that, but I have walked out two or three times. 382 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,480 I left a woman at the restaurant by themselves. 383 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,840 One was, I felt like I was being set up. 384 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,240 It was in Bogota, Colombia. 385 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:58,320 I felt like someone was setting me up because it was common for tourists to get robbed. 386 00:21:58,320 --> 00:21:59,320 I was a gentleman. 387 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,320 I paid the check. 388 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,320 I snuck to the bathroom. 389 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,560 I whispered to the security guard, like, hey. 390 00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:04,560 I'm like, hey. 391 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,760 And wrote him into translation, like, hey, go get me the check. 392 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,920 I feel like I'm in danger. 393 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,000 Get me the check right now. 394 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,000 I paid the bill. 395 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,360 I took the waiter and the manager and I said, sneak me through the back door. 396 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:20,040 They sent me through a back elevator and I left the woman there. 397 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:25,920 She was there and then another guy, woman was there who was sitting really close to 398 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,120 us and they were already talking. 399 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:31,160 And it just didn't feel, I'm a true believer of your gut. 400 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,160 Same with women as well. 401 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,640 Women should, like, if you don't feel like something's, follow your gut. 402 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,960 If something doesn't feel right, get the fuck out of there. 403 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,600 Don't play around with your life. 404 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,000 And I didn't feel safe. 405 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,600 I just didn't feel safe. 406 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:47,600 Even if that wasn't what she was trying to do, I just did not feel comfortable. 407 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:54,120 As soon as I sat down, the first thing she did was ordered like a $200 steak. 408 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,720 She didn't even say hi, get to know me. 409 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,520 She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. 410 00:22:57,520 --> 00:22:59,880 It was a really posh restaurant. 411 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,880 And that's another thing. 412 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,800 She suggested like the most expensive. 413 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,920 Like we agreed to a one restaurant and then at the last minute she changed the location 414 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,320 to like the most expensive one on the street. 415 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:11,320 So yeah. 416 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,120 And I was just like, whoa, what's going on? 417 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:16,760 I didn't know it was that pricey until I went upstairs. 418 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:24,000 And I saw like, you know, a place is expensive if it's a motherfucking tree in the goddamn 419 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,000 restaurant. 420 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:31,840 I'm like, how the hell did y'all get a whole goddamn tree in here? 421 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:32,840 Inside. 422 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,840 Inside. 423 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,600 You know, like up 50 feet in the air. 424 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:41,920 You know, so it was a very posh place, but I just didn't feel, I'm a true believer, like 425 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,600 with anybody watching this video. 426 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,560 If you don't feel right, don't do the right thing. 427 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,640 Do the right thing. 428 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,800 I paid the bill and I blocked this person from every platform and I just left. 429 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:53,800 I didn't drink nothing. 430 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:54,800 Yeah. 431 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:55,800 I just went, yeah. 432 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:56,800 Just left. 433 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:04,000 When you are going on dates with people and dating them, like how many times or for how 434 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,440 long do you see someone? 435 00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,080 I think I mean, I try to see them as long as I can. 436 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:16,680 That the energy and the vibe is right, sometimes depending on the country, expectations can 437 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:21,680 be very different with the people that you may date. 438 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:29,440 Often in Thailand, I found that a lot of Thai women that I would date, there was this huge, 439 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:36,320 in their family, in their culture, the women and the men have to take care of their family. 440 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,120 It's a huge financial responsibility. 441 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:46,080 Most of the Thai women that I would date, often their relationship didn't last that 442 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:52,600 long because they were working 60 or 80 hours a week. 443 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,320 Similar in Brazil as well. 444 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,360 Often in some of the countries that I travel to, it just depends. 445 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,120 Europe, it can be different. 446 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,880 It's more of a balance. 447 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:07,240 Sometimes in Asia or South America, I may meet someone and it can be great chemistry, 448 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:14,520 great energy, but they may be working for so much. 449 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,080 Sometimes it's out of your control. 450 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:20,360 It's hard to... That could be one situation. 451 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:24,580 Another one can be things can move too fast. 452 00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:29,480 You meet someone after one or two dates and they're in love and they want you to stop 453 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,520 dating immediately. 454 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:37,160 They want you to be exclusive after 24 hours. 455 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,680 It's a scary situation you run into sometimes. 456 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:46,760 Again, some people have just bad habits maybe as well. 457 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:52,600 It can be bad habits. 458 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:58,920 I'm all about partnership, teamwork for me. 459 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:06,760 I tend to pay for everything when I am dating someone, but I feel that there are ways that 460 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:13,880 a person can contribute if I'm paying for everything in a sense of if the dishes are 461 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:19,440 dirty or if the bed's not made. 462 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:20,720 Just simple stuff. 463 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,680 You can add contribution at the end of the day. 464 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,000 I think relationships should be about partnerships. 465 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:32,320 It shouldn't be about who has the most money or any of that because at the end of the day, 466 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:36,160 I'm a cool... I can do steak or I could do tuna in a can. 467 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,240 I'm pretty easy at the end of the day. 468 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:48,920 I'm not really picky or always slurging, but I think a partnership is important. 469 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:55,760 Something I want to bring up because the last few people I've interviewed, this has become 470 00:26:55,760 --> 00:27:01,560 its own discussion, but I think you and I, maybe it's because we're culturally American 471 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:09,520 or we people who have lived abroad and traveled and whatnot, but how would you define the 472 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:16,600 word dating and is there other terminology or expressions that you would use to define 473 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,680 what it is you're doing? 474 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:25,840 Dating for me is when I'm dating someone, I'm at a stage where I'm getting to know them. 475 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:32,360 That could include going out on dates and probably casually sleeping with that person. 476 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,880 That's what dating means for me. 477 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:39,400 If I'm exclusive, that means that I'm only seeing them and we probably have had to communicate 478 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,280 it that we want to see each other exclusively at the end of the day. 479 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:48,640 I do feel that there's not a lot of conversation around exclusivity. 480 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:52,000 I think there's an assumption for me personally. 481 00:27:52,000 --> 00:28:01,040 I feel that when men are dating women, women sometimes assume that because the man is sleeping 482 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,720 with them that they're exclusively seeing them. 483 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:11,820 I feel that exclusivity should be something that you communicate, not just assume because 484 00:28:11,820 --> 00:28:16,080 you just slept with that person. 485 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:24,080 Also, and sometimes I personally think it's okay to date to see what's out there before 486 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:30,120 someone just jumps into something exclusive or something serious because you don't truly 487 00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,200 know a person until you live with them. 488 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:40,960 You don't truly know their habits and you got to live with somebody to truly understand. 489 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:45,440 I didn't realize until I got 30 that I have OCD. 490 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,280 I have a cleaning disorder. 491 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,600 I like my shit to be clean. 492 00:28:50,600 --> 00:29:01,520 If someone just has stuff all over the place, that can do something to me. 493 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,600 I didn't have this in my 30s and now I'm like, man, all right. 494 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:11,920 I need to... because I work from home, so for me, home is a place that should be nice 495 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:12,920 and tidy. 496 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:19,600 Have there been any things that were surprising when someone says, oh, we're dating when you 497 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,160 didn't think you were or did they define it differently? 498 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:28,320 I think I met someone after a night or two, we had a great date and we had sex. 499 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:33,840 I think it was a huge pressure like, hey, you need to delete all your dating apps. 500 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,440 I was like, whoa, why? 501 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,440 You're with me now. 502 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,680 I don't want you seeing nobody else. 503 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:45,560 I was like, whoa. 504 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,560 That person was serious. 505 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,520 He was not smiling. 506 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:55,480 You do come across some... I've came across some women who are very overprotective. 507 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:58,920 Are you monogamous when you date? 508 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:05,440 I'm monogamous, but I'm open to poly is what I'm open to it. 509 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,440 I'm very open to both. 510 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:16,160 I feel like I'm open to being in an open relationship with dating other people, but I feel that 511 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:22,120 the older I get, it becomes a little bit time consuming because I think a lot of people 512 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:27,880 assume being in an open relationship or being in a poly relationship, people just assume 513 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,880 that, oh, they're just having sex. 514 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,760 It's like, no, that's not how it goes. 515 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,360 You got to get to know that person. 516 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,240 You got to take time to talk to them. 517 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:36,240 You got to communicate. 518 00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:40,120 They're not just meeting up and just sleeping with each other. 519 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:47,000 I think the older I get, it's one of those things where for me, I'm just like, man, for 520 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,240 me, if things are going great in my relationship, I'm okay with just being one person. 521 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:56,680 But if my partner feels like they need multiple people, I think I'm more open to it now than 522 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,600 I was before when I was younger. 523 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:02,920 Also, like I said, I look at time as an entrepreneur. 524 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,240 I just look at time these days. 525 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:11,320 And I'm just like, all right, what I have time to... especially if I'm moving around 526 00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,560 with someone, it just depends. 527 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:19,200 But also the level of diseases are growing so high. 528 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:25,720 Not to say that should be a reason why not, but I just feel like STDs are growing so high 529 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:29,920 these days, much higher than they did 10 years ago. 530 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:36,600 It's just like, man, at least I feel my conscious is clear sleeping with one person. 531 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:37,600 I don't know. 532 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,640 I just feel like a lot of people don't know what they have sometimes or they don't get 533 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,640 tested. 534 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:47,960 I have male friends who are in their 30s, 35, 30 or older that never been tested before. 535 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:48,960 Yeah. 536 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:55,440 This is actually a super valid health point you bring up that in my last few conversations, 537 00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,280 nobody has brought this up yet. 538 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:03,280 And I'm speaking to people who are monogamous, but also people who are practicing polyamory 539 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:08,880 or ethical non-monogamy or have open relationships or are currently sleeping with two, three 540 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,000 people. 541 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,800 And this is a valid fucking point. 542 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:17,760 Well, even if you trust that one person, you don't know the other two people that they're 543 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,080 sleeping with. 544 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:25,440 And it's just like, they're probably sleeping with two other people and then those two other 545 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,640 people are sleeping with two other people. 546 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,440 And it's just like, ah, man. 547 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,440 Okay. 548 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,560 So we've talked about location. 549 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:36,840 We've talked about sex, sleeping around, defining dating. 550 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:46,240 What I'm curious about is within your friend in social groups, where do you fall? 551 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:50,240 Do you have friends who are also dating, friends 30 and above, let's say, right? 552 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:51,240 Are they also dating? 553 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,240 Are they single? 554 00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:53,240 Are they married? 555 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:54,240 Do they have kids? 556 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,240 Where are they? 557 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,240 What are they doing? 558 00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:59,400 And how do you fit into that or not, if that's the case? 559 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:04,480 Most are starting to settle down and most are starting to, you know, I think because 560 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:10,120 they're like 33, they're like, they get that 33, 36 age. 561 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,480 And now they're starting to get more serious about life. 562 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:13,480 They want to have families. 563 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:14,480 They want to have kids. 564 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:15,480 They want to get more settled. 565 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,960 And that's, that's about the right time. 566 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:23,240 I'm still hanging out with them for the most part, but sometimes you can tell that their 567 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,880 partners don't really, they're like, why are you hanging out with AJ? 568 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,400 He's a single man, you know, because we're friends. 569 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:33,960 We always been friends. 570 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:39,960 So it does start making you reflecting yourself more about, you know, hanging out with a, 571 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:45,360 because it's not just me hanging out with my homie or my boy anymore. 572 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,480 It's like, I got to hang out with his girlfriend now and she got to come around. 573 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:53,520 And you know, it's no just the guys hanging out anymore. 574 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,880 It's like, especially if they don't have kids. 575 00:33:55,880 --> 00:34:00,040 Oh, you know, you gotta, you gotta be ready to be the third wheel, hang out with that 576 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,040 person. 577 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:06,480 But for the most part, I think it's, you know, I think it's cool. 578 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,800 You know, for me, I've traveled so much. 579 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:14,400 I haven't really settled in a place just yet, but I am starting to realize that a lot of 580 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,520 my friends are starting to get more serious about life. 581 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:18,520 You know? 582 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,320 How does that make you feel with all these people settling around you? 583 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,320 I don't know, man. 584 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,320 I got an amazing life. 585 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:30,480 And I think, you know, like, you know, look, one thing I will say, I mean, you know, yes, 586 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:35,920 I'm in Thailand, I'm in Bangkok, I'm in Rio, I'm in Amsterdam, I'm in Paris, I'm traveling 587 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,960 the world, I'm eating at all these fancy places, I'm living a great life. 588 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:46,320 But I don't think I want to look, I don't think in the next 20 years, I don't know how 589 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:52,360 I will feel if I'm having this life and I'm just still alone. 590 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:59,720 I'm not going to lie and sit up here and say I'm not fucking lonely on Christmas, Thanksgiving, 591 00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,640 Valentine's Day. 592 00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:06,080 Some things you've been raised in America to be around family. 593 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,500 And when you get older and you're traveling, you have some lonely days and you have some 594 00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:12,040 lonely times, you know, at the end of the day. 595 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:16,560 But also, it would be amazing to share these experiences with someone, you know, I just 596 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:21,400 think it would be cool to look back and say, man, I didn't just do this by myself, but 597 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,280 I shared it with this person. 598 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,640 I don't know if I want to stop this life. 599 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:29,520 But I like, like the way I operate, I'm doing it, I'm balancing it out. 600 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:33,320 Like I go to countries for three, six months. 601 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:34,560 I live like a local. 602 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:39,160 I'm not out every day doing touristy stuff. 603 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,880 But I would like to share it with someone eventually. 604 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:42,880 I think so. 605 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:49,880 Like I said, you know, it's just, it's too much work dating in today's world. 606 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,760 And I miss the old ways. 607 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,200 I miss the old ways of dating. 608 00:35:54,200 --> 00:36:00,040 The old ways as like when you were in your 20s or from 20 years ago on this world or 609 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,040 what do you mean? 610 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,760 Old ways of our parents ways. 611 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:08,360 Like I, you know, like in today's world of dating, if you message someone on a dating 612 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,680 app, they may take three to five days to respond to you. 613 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:16,440 And you know, communication is not that great because everyone wants to text. 614 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,280 No one wants to talk on phones anymore. 615 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,040 I'm all about giving energy. 616 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:22,760 Give me the same energy I'm giving you. 617 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,320 You know, I'm texting you in the morning, text me in the morning. 618 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:26,680 If I'm calling you, call me. 619 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:28,520 I'm asking how your day is. 620 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,520 Ask how my day is. 621 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:30,520 I'm sending you lunch. 622 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,440 Shit, make me lunch, send me lunch. 623 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:34,520 Give me the energy that you want. 624 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,160 You know, so if you give me five days, no texting energy, I'm gonna give you that same 625 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,160 energy back. 626 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:44,160 You know, and especially when you got so many people reaching out to you and sometimes people 627 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:50,200 don't understand a simple hello or just meeting up, but it's just more complicated in today's 628 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:51,200 world. 629 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,240 You're texting every few days. 630 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:54,560 You're getting to know a person. 631 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:55,560 You're having this deep conversation. 632 00:36:55,560 --> 00:37:01,200 Then it just goes, and then it's like, well, do I wait on this person that I haven't even 633 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:07,760 met yet and it's going on two weeks of texting or do I, what about these other 10 matches 634 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:12,080 that these women who are constantly messaging me are trying to meet with me? 635 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,320 How do I balance out what's important? 636 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:19,320 And I usually have a 72 hour rule. 637 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:26,040 Like if I don't, I delete matches after 72 hours if there's no conversation or like I 638 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,040 don't match with someone. 639 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:32,720 I mean, I hear from them or we may not even talk for three days and I just delete them. 640 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,640 You know what I've started doing? 641 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:42,440 When someone texts me something like asking a question about like a day, right? 642 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,320 Like how's your day? 643 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,440 How's Wednesday afternoon? 644 00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,360 How's your Saturday morning? 645 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,360 I'm like, you know what? 646 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,560 I don't fucking have time for this. 647 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:53,160 It is all the same question. 648 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,360 It is so basic. 649 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,600 There's no content to it. 650 00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:03,400 After you say hello, can you think of something a little bit more like exciting or interesting? 651 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,120 True. 652 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:12,320 Sometimes one thing I will say, not for every woman, but for sometimes I do copy and paste 653 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,440 the messages because it's just too many. 654 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,840 Because you're trying to weed out the bullshit. 655 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:24,520 I may match with, if I turn on my Tinder and boost the profile, I may get 20 matches that 656 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,440 day and it's kind of like sales. 657 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:28,440 It's like you're doing a sales call. 658 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,500 You're going to make a hundred calls and you're going to get one, two solid people that may 659 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:34,160 work with you. 660 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:40,160 I may send out 20 messages and I only may get maybe one or two people that respond out 661 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,520 of those three to four days. 662 00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:48,240 Then it helps me just delete the rest of the people because dating is not a priority for 663 00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:49,240 them. 664 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:51,760 If it's not a priority for you, that's okay. 665 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:52,760 I got bills to pay. 666 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,040 I got shit to do. 667 00:38:54,040 --> 00:39:01,720 I'm taking time out of my day, out of my schedule to commit to you. 668 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:07,240 If I'm out at a cafe for me, if I'm taking someone on a date and I'm meeting them, that 669 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:11,080 shows you that I'm really valuing your time. 670 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,240 I'm putting the phone up. 671 00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:17,800 I'm trying to put the phone up if I can, but not being on the phone a whole lot of people 672 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,520 are comfortable with being on their phone on dates. 673 00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,800 It's not the best thing as well, man. 674 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,240 I know people are addicted to it, but it's just not good. 675 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:32,080 I feel that as well. 676 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:35,560 The great thing about being an entrepreneur, being a digital nomad, I tell a lot of women 677 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:40,200 that I really do like that struggle with having time. 678 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:43,240 I tell women like, I say, look, I'll work for myself. 679 00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:44,880 I can work anywhere. 680 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:50,000 Look, we don't have to be traditional and just meet each other that one day once a week 681 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:51,480 when you're free. 682 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:52,480 I'll meet you at 6 a.m. 683 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,120 We can go to the gym. 684 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:57,080 If you got a lunch break, I'll come travel to your office. 685 00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,120 We can have lunch at your office. 686 00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,880 Or if you have to work, we can have a work date. 687 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,720 But all this, I'm only I ain't free type shit. 688 00:40:04,720 --> 00:40:06,240 I don't want to hear that shit. 689 00:40:06,240 --> 00:40:09,040 You make time for the things that you want to make time for. 690 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:14,120 You know, so if you got a lot of shit going on, add me to that shit. 691 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,120 I want to be a part of that shit. 692 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,200 Even if it's fucking boring, I want to be a part of it. 693 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:22,080 Hey, I got a fucking conference to go to. 694 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:25,080 I know I really, hey, I really like you. 695 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,080 I'm so sorry. 696 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:27,960 Look, you could come hang out at the conference. 697 00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,120 At least show me that you're still interested. 698 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,120 You come hang out at the conference. 699 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,600 I'm going to be working, but you can still come hang out. 700 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,600 I'm there. 701 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:36,600 I'm there. 702 00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,840 You make time for the things you want to make time for. 703 00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:44,160 But I think more women and more men as well need to learn how to communicate their time. 704 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:51,480 I understand you're busy, but at least show that you're interested. 705 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:55,160 And I think a lot of people don't do that in today's world for the most part. 706 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,800 Let me stop having my Kanye West rant about that topic. 707 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:03,680 No, it's good because actually I was going to go into what do you find frustrating? 708 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:07,640 And this sounds like people making time. 709 00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,760 And it's so refreshing to hear this different perspective. 710 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:18,480 If you're already going somewhere to a music festival, drinks for some friends, and it's 711 00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,960 6 PM and your friends aren't coming until 7, you're right. 712 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:26,080 There is a moment in there where if you're talking to someone now, because apparently 713 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:32,120 they're free because you're having a conversation, why can you not just meet on the way or join 714 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,480 them here or see them there? 715 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:38,760 I mean, especially if you're really interested in that person. 716 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:44,000 I'm not saying do this for every person, but I'm saying that if you feel that you can feel 717 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,880 it, you can say, man, this person is interesting. 718 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,160 I really want to get to know them. 719 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,080 Just make effort because you never know, man. 720 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,480 I matched with a woman on Tinder and I flew to Poland for a Tinder date. 721 00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:01,000 After two days of talking to her, I was just like, man, energy's good, chemistry's good. 722 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,520 Why not? 723 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,880 I don't know how long I'm going to be fucking alive. 724 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,080 People out here living as if they know when they're going to die. 725 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,000 And most people are not going to die from natural causes. 726 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,880 You're going to die from a fucking car accident, from a plane accident, all types of shit. 727 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,600 You don't even know how you're going to die. 728 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:23,000 I don't have time to be waiting for hope and fairy tales and faith and all this stuff. 729 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:24,560 I don't have time for that shit. 730 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,840 Yeah, I matched with a woman. 731 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,800 I was in Europe somewhere. 732 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,400 I was like, fuck it. 733 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,320 It was like a $50, $100 flight. 734 00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:33,820 I booked a hotel. 735 00:42:33,820 --> 00:42:35,160 We had an amazing first date. 736 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,120 I extended the flight for almost a week and a half. 737 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,480 It was one of the best experience in my life. 738 00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:40,960 And we had an amazing time together. 739 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,940 It was one of the, you know, and I'm like, man, one in a lifetime thing. 740 00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:44,940 Life is short. 741 00:42:44,940 --> 00:42:49,160 Like don't, you know, there's a lot of people that's going to be watching this video and 742 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:55,120 I don't want you to miss out on opportunity, potential love, because you're afraid of taking 743 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:56,120 a chance. 744 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,120 Yeah. 745 00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,720 But I know a lot of people are not like me. 746 00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,720 I'm crazy. 747 00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:01,720 So. 748 00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:03,800 I don't think it's crazy. 749 00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:10,280 I think it's unique and I love this energy and this zest and this excitement. 750 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:11,800 Like come on, let's go now. 751 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,820 If the vibe is good, we keep going. 752 00:43:13,820 --> 00:43:16,120 We keep doing this. 753 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:17,800 And with that, I'm going to kind of segue. 754 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,240 So when is your next date? 755 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:25,200 I have a date to potentially tonight or tomorrow. 756 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,720 I think I have two this week in Brazil. 757 00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:29,320 And what are you going to do? 758 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:32,480 One, I don't know if she wants me for my money. 759 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,160 So I'm trying to read the vibe there. 760 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:42,840 And then the other is, uh, she's 37 years old and she's a real estate agent. 761 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:47,200 So I don't know if she wants me for, to try to sell me a house. 762 00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,240 So, you know, but I'm going to go with the flow. 763 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:52,640 I'm going to go on a date and you know, just see how it goes. 764 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:53,640 You know, I'm open. 765 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:57,760 I'm thinking about, I have, I have a house here in Rio for the next couple of months 766 00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:02,240 and I think I'm going to go to Salvador Bahia maybe next week. 767 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:04,240 So I may check out some other cities. 768 00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:07,040 Like, but I'll let this house be my base. 769 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:09,680 I'm in Ipanema, you know, the beach area is beautiful. 770 00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:10,680 So yeah. 771 00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,460 Let me go through the question list. 772 00:44:12,460 --> 00:44:13,460 Just make sure. 773 00:44:13,460 --> 00:44:17,480 I think we've actually touched on everything I wanted to ask, which is fantastic. 774 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:21,400 I just want my story to inspire people to, you know, you just never, you know, just be 775 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,640 more open with going with the flow, man. 776 00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,960 You know, just, just be more open. 777 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,080 You just never know. 778 00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:32,880 I think we have this mindset of let's just go on a date and I'll go home, but be open 779 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,920 to the possibilities after the date. 780 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:40,640 It doesn't mean that you need to have sex, but you know, be open to having more conversation, 781 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,640 going to another place, having an experience. 782 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:47,080 You don't have to just go with the traditional route because you've been taught that way. 783 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:48,080 Tips for guys. 784 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:54,600 You know, look, even if you are lacking, if you're not as confident in yourself, you can 785 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:58,760 create a experience unlike before. 786 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:05,560 An experience unlike before, that shit can turn you in to a motherfucking 10. 787 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:12,840 Dating Log is recorded and hosted by me, Lindum Juno. 788 00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,400 It is produced by Harry Dark. 789 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:19,600 You can follow us on Instagram at Dating Log Podcast. 790 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,560 Our website is datinglogpodcast.com. 791 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,880 Please like and subscribe wherever you listen. 792 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,600 And remember that we are getting started here. 793 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:32,120 So if you have any feedback or a really great person whom I should definitely interview, 794 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:37,200 please slide into our DMs by sending an email to datinglogpodcast.gmail.com. 795 00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:41,120 We'll be back in two weeks with a new episode. 796 00:45:41,120 --> 00:46:02,520 In the meantime, please don't ghost us.