1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:16,880 Welcome to Dating Log, the podcast that records the ups and downs of dating in your 30s. 2 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:23,600 I'm your host, Wyndham Juneau, and this is episode 10, Another One Bites the Crust. 3 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:29,240 Tom has been in back-to-back, long-term relationships since his 20s, and he's just arriving back 4 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:34,720 in the dating game, over a decade later, in his late 30s. 5 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:40,560 He began hand-swiping almost immediately after his most recent relationship ended. 6 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:46,160 That means that this episode is jam-packed full of juicy stories and dating anecdotes, 7 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:50,560 along with a cast of characters looking for a pizza his heart. 8 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,560 Enjoy! 9 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,000 Yeah, I'm in London. 10 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,120 I'm 37. 11 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:07,680 I was in back-to-back relationships until May this year, that lasted probably together 12 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:12,160 between about seven, maybe eight years. 13 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:18,280 So I've not dated since like late 20s, and now I'm on the dating scene. 14 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:24,240 And I'm quite enjoying it, to be honest. 15 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:31,960 Yeah, I've been using Hinge, which I think is fantastic. 16 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:39,680 I mean, when I was dating before, so like 20s, I think they had just introduced Tinder, 17 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:40,680 right? 18 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,560 Or at least I'd just discovered it. 19 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,280 So I used it for about a month, and that was it. 20 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:52,320 But it was still very much you had to date the normal way, like go up to a girl in a 21 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:58,560 bar with your friends standing behind you, taking the piss out of you, you know? 22 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,600 And yeah, that's good, and I like that. 23 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:06,000 And then suddenly there's Hinge, right, which is in the centre of London, and you've just 24 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:13,960 got this endless sea of possibilities, you know? 25 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,160 I think there's sport for choice nowadays, these dates. 26 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:24,320 It's just like a...but it's got positives and negatives, because at the same time, too 27 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:31,720 much possibility is like if one of your messages is remotely boring or not funny, you're cut 28 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,200 for the next guy, you know? 29 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:37,800 Because this, especially the hot girls, they've got like 50 guys writing to them at the same 30 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,320 time, all offering them the best dates in town, you know? 31 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,440 And there's you coming with a date saying, do you want to go for a walk in the park and 32 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,600 grab a coffee, you're cut, you know? 33 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,400 Not good enough. 34 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:57,840 So there's that side, but then there's also, you've got that as well, like, you know, you're 35 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,280 just constant options and sort of possibilities. 36 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,560 So it's been interesting, and I've definitely been enjoying it. 37 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:12,000 Although there has been times when I've woken up and felt like I'm in the lost property 38 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:19,120 basket, but I think that's just a perception sometimes when you're feeling a bit negative 39 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,600 about it. 40 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,200 Yeah, that was quite a loaded intro. 41 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,960 I have lots of questions for you. 42 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:34,400 Okay, so you mentioned you were in back to back relationships. 43 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,160 And let's go back to the beginning of this. 44 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:40,400 Tinder had just come out and you were on it for about a month. 45 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,080 Did you meet the first relationship via Tinder? 46 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,080 I did. 47 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:45,080 I did, yeah. 48 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,720 Yeah, she tried to have me pretend that we didn't meet via Tinder for like the first six 49 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,680 months or something, but then sooner or later I got bored of lying and just said, yeah, 50 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,680 we met on Tinder. 51 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,560 Yeah, we did. 52 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,400 But the second one did not. 53 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:04,880 And the second one was actually a really nice meet. 54 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:15,640 So I'd been with the first one for like five years and it was COVID and she'd gone back 55 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,160 to Argentina. 56 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,640 That's where we met. 57 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,880 That's where she's from. 58 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,960 And I'd come back to England and I'd studied a master's in England and I was trying to 59 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:31,720 sort of reintegrate into society here. 60 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:36,720 And I was trying to get in a very specific line of work, kind of like sort of almost 61 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:41,400 like an area of journalism that requires a lot of dedication and a lot of free work. 62 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,160 So I was doing free work for like a year. 63 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:50,200 So I was unpaid, living at my parents, living at my mom's, she's an anaphomy, living at 64 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,080 my dad's, he's an anaphomy. 65 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:56,880 And it's mid COVID and I'm at my dad's which is in north of France in the middle of nowhere. 66 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,160 I'm talking like 10 kilometres from the closest shop. 67 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:07,600 So I'm like over winter, I've broken up with my ex and I just had not got a job for like, 68 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,080 I don't know, it was like 18 months or something. 69 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,200 So it was a dark time. 70 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:18,960 And then I got a job in London and now I'm coming back to London, you know, with a job. 71 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,920 So I'm going to earn money, I'm going to see friends again, I'm going to have this new 72 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:27,920 life, you know, start dating again, which I was really looking forward to. 73 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:34,040 And on the way back on the boat, I met this other girl. 74 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,280 So it's like, it's like, oh my god, it's falling out of the sky, right? 75 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:43,080 There was one other person pretty much on this boat and it was her. 76 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,480 She was far too young for me. 77 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,760 I was like 12 years older than her. 78 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:53,080 But we didn't know that at the time we started dating and then it just sort of evolved. 79 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:57,360 Anyway, it still felt like it fell out of the sky. 80 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,360 Yeah. 81 00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:03,600 So it was good and it lasted two years, then it broke. 82 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:08,000 Anyway, that was like a really strong impetus to a relationship. 83 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,280 And I do feel like you do lose that with the hinge thing, right? 84 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:19,600 So part of my adapting to hinge has been an acceptance, you know, this is how everyone's 85 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:20,680 dating nowadays. 86 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,920 This is what everyone's doing, you know, so just get on with it, right? 87 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:24,920 And make it work. 88 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:25,920 The dating apps. 89 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,920 Yeah. 90 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:27,920 Okay. 91 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,920 So I don't know if people are still meeting each other in real life, but it seems like 92 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,920 everyone's on hinge, right? 93 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:35,920 So. 94 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:36,920 Okay. 95 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:37,920 Yeah. 96 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:38,920 You tell me. 97 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:39,920 Yeah. 98 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:44,240 Well, you're the dating expert, so. 99 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,740 Not the experts. 100 00:06:45,740 --> 00:06:48,560 I am the dating investigator. 101 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,920 Can I ask why did you choose hinge? 102 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:57,200 I tried Tinder briefly and I just thought it was trash, man. 103 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,920 I was not impressed with Tinder. 104 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:05,880 I thought hinge was much better quality. 105 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:06,880 How so? 106 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,640 Oh my God. 107 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:16,480 I'd say the profiles were slightly classier to put it one way. 108 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:17,480 I don't know. 109 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,480 Yeah. 110 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,480 I thought it was a load of trash on Tinder. 111 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,800 I don't know what it felt like. 112 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,880 Did you go on any dates from Tinder? 113 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:25,880 No. 114 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:26,880 No. 115 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,920 I deleted it fairly soon as well. 116 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:29,920 Yeah. 117 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,440 I just want to get the timing right. 118 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,120 When did you end your last relationship? 119 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,920 Beginning of May. 120 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,280 And when did you get on hinge? 121 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:44,240 Probably, I don't know, like I probably downloaded it after a couple of weeks, but I probably 122 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,400 didn't start actually using it for like a month. 123 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:53,680 And my first couple of dates, looking back on it, I was not ready at all. 124 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:54,680 No. 125 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:55,680 Not at all. 126 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:56,680 No. 127 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,400 I struggled to hide it as well, right? 128 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:04,840 Because actually the ending of my previous relationship did actually cut me up a bit. 129 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:06,880 I was disappointed. 130 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:11,600 It was not a very good ending really. 131 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:16,640 When they asked me, like, oh, and your previous relationship, I really struggled to hide the 132 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:24,040 fact that it ended, you know, not in the way that I wanted it to end. 133 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:31,920 Why did you decide to go on dates so quickly if you knew you weren't ready? 134 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:39,920 Or yeah, like why do that after such a breakup that did something to you? 135 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:47,280 I was trying to recover from the situation and sort of turn it around. 136 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:56,280 I did a number of things, made some positive changes and stuff, and it did work, to be 137 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:57,280 honest. 138 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:02,600 I never really got to process the end of that relationship because we just never spoke. 139 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,600 That was it. 140 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,600 It was just ridiculous. 141 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:10,400 But sooner or later, I just get up carrying really. 142 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,960 Actually the dating in the end really helped. 143 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:21,040 Once I started meeting quite nice people and had some, I don't want to say options, but 144 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,840 I don't know how to say it in a nice way. 145 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:26,400 But yeah, I saw that there was other people out there. 146 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,400 Options is a valid word. 147 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,400 Yeah. 148 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,680 I thought I saw other people out there. 149 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:39,280 And some nice people and more appropriate and whatever, then that was nice. 150 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,600 Yeah. 151 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:47,600 About how many dates or how much time in did you start feeling ready for dating? 152 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,520 Well, I don't know, a couple of months maybe. 153 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:56,440 So fairly early on, I had a good date with this girl. 154 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,200 She was really cool. 155 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,960 And the date was going really well, really well. 156 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,200 We're like belly laughing and I'm thinking, oh, this is decent. 157 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,840 And then, I don't know how we got onto the topic yet. 158 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:14,240 She was trying to ask me about my previous relationship and I was like, oh, we don't 159 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,280 want to talk about that. 160 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,400 Then she pushed and pushed. 161 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,640 So then I gave her, I tried to give her a light version of the story. 162 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,240 I said, oh, and then she just disappeared. 163 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,640 To be honest, it's been difficult. 164 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,640 Oh, that's why. 165 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,280 And she was asking, because I was doing a triathlon, she was asking, why are you doing 166 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,280 a triathlon? 167 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:32,280 Why are you doing a triathlon? 168 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:37,160 And I was just like, oh, just because I want to do it and because I was doing it with my 169 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,800 brother-in-law, I was enjoying it and I was enjoying getting fit. 170 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:43,280 And she was like, why are you doing a triathlon? 171 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,320 So I said, well, actually there is a reason. 172 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:52,760 I said, I'd had a difficult time earlier this year and this was a positive response. 173 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:57,360 Anyway, she just dropped in tone after I'd done this. 174 00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:03,160 And then she's gone to the bathroom and come back. 175 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:08,120 So I'm trying to bring it back, trying to get the vibe back, trying to joke and whatever. 176 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,000 About 10 minutes later, still she's just flat. 177 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:17,320 And I just said, look, we start talking about exes because you insisted and since then it's 178 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:22,040 just fucking died. 179 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,680 She then said, she recognized that. 180 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,880 She's like, yeah, I'm sorry. 181 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:32,920 And then she said that she'd very recently broken up like even less time than me. 182 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:38,600 And I think like it made her think of what she'd done to him or something like that. 183 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:46,560 Anyway, that one died pretty much there, which was ridiculous to be honest. 184 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:50,040 I was quite disappointed about that. 185 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:55,280 But that moment, like the good moment that we'd had up to it, I think had made me think, 186 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,360 oh yeah, okay. 187 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:01,840 There are good dates to be had out there. 188 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:08,360 So yeah, I just carried on really. 189 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:12,000 Can you tell me about some of the other good dates you've had since then? 190 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:18,160 So I've had some mixed dates. 191 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:22,200 So I met an Argentine that was from Córdoba from where I'd lived. 192 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:28,400 So that was quite amazing for her to come to London and meet an English boy who'd lived 193 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:33,280 in Córdoba, second biggest town in Argentina, but in the middle of nowhere. 194 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:38,920 It's like a thousand kilometers inland from Buenos Aires. 195 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,880 Most people here have never been there or never heard of it. 196 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:49,240 And there's her on her own over here and she meets an English guy who lived there for five 197 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:50,840 years. 198 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:55,200 So we had the first date, which was good. 199 00:12:55,200 --> 00:13:02,760 And then second date lasted, I think we met on the Friday afternoon and she left on Monday 200 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,760 morning. 201 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:04,760 Wow. 202 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:08,400 So it went intense quickly. 203 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:15,600 And you know, like Latin, Latinas are a bit sort of passionate, a bit fiery, a bit intense, 204 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,600 right? 205 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:17,720 She was a 10 on that level. 206 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,320 She was peak Latina. 207 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,280 Right. 208 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:25,280 I wouldn't text her back for a few hours and she'd like block me on her phone. 209 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,240 She did that three times in two weeks. 210 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,200 By the third time I was just like, that's enough. 211 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,000 You know, I've reached my limit. 212 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,120 But then she kept writing and writing and writing. 213 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,800 And she even, so I got into bed one evening at like 10 o'clock, bear in mind, I live 214 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:45,800 in a building with a concierge and I got into bed really early and I felt a knock at the 215 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:46,800 door. 216 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:51,280 And it was like shiver down my spine and I went to answer the door. 217 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:57,080 And there's this girl with absolute fury in her eyes, dressed up to the nines, looking 218 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,080 fantastic. 219 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:04,280 There to give me a bollocking in like high heels. 220 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,280 What happened? 221 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,280 No, I did not. 222 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:14,440 I just tried to say that, you know, I'm very sorry, but I just, you know, I thought it 223 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,760 was too much that you'd blocked me three times in two weeks. 224 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,120 I thought it was too much. 225 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,160 And I thought, you know, if you've done that within two weeks, what's it going to be like 226 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,160 in a few months? 227 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,880 I said, that does, that sounds like quite a stressful relationship, but that's not the 228 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,520 sort of thing I want to be involved in. 229 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,040 Yeah, fair. 230 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,920 That day I'd had a situation at work. 231 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:40,080 I've got this really funny guy next to me and I'd had a serious phone call, but he'd 232 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:46,640 managed to make me crack up in the middle of this phone call and now I've got her in 233 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:51,520 my hallway in this really intense moment, giving me a lecture. 234 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:56,520 And I recalled, you know, that thought you get when you think the worst thing I could 235 00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:00,080 do right now would be to smile. 236 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,080 Right? 237 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:09,520 And I remembered this guy, my colleague, making me crack up on the phone and I just felt the 238 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,960 corners of my mouth start to go. 239 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:18,600 I had to put my hand over my mouth when she's giving me this really serious lecture, you 240 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,680 know, from the bottom of her heart. 241 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:27,960 And I just had to say that I'm really sorry and I sometimes smile, I sometimes laugh in 242 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,960 inappropriate moments. 243 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:35,720 Anyway, she managed to, thank God she ignored it and just carried on with the lecture. 244 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:43,200 I just tried to be nice to her as best as I could, but it was too much. 245 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,080 She recognized, you know, she'd gone far too far. 246 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,080 It was insane. 247 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,080 Yeah. 248 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,080 Yeah. 249 00:15:49,080 --> 00:16:02,200 So, yeah, I finished that one and then I started dating, well, I started talking to three people, 250 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,280 which is kind of where I am now. 251 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:09,200 So one of them, remarkably, was also from Cordoba, right? 252 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:18,840 So I've met two people, I'd say, from Cordoba since I got here back from Cordoba in 2018 253 00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:22,720 and they were both within like three weeks of each other on Hinge. 254 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,720 Wow. 255 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:24,720 Yeah. 256 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:28,280 So anyway, but this one's like the polar opposite of her. 257 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:37,280 She's like really nice, decent, well-educated, a great job. 258 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:42,640 You know, the sort of person on paper would be like an ideal wife, I'd say. 259 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:47,920 And she is really, you know, keen as well. 260 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:52,480 And we had a couple of dates and they were quite nice. 261 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:57,320 But I just felt no spark, if I'm honest. 262 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:02,000 No vibe, even though, you know, I had a lot of respect for her and for her job and she 263 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,040 was attractive and really nice, good at tennis, you know, which I like. 264 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,680 But I just felt nothing. 265 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,280 I felt nothing, which is strange. 266 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,280 Strange. 267 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:21,000 I don't know if inside of me, the whole Cordoba thing, I think maybe I'd been either turned 268 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,360 off it or I just thought it wouldn't work. 269 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:29,320 I thought, A, turning up back in Cordoba, right, where I've had this five-year relationship 270 00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:36,000 in the past and I've made all these great friends and I loved the exes and family and 271 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,000 friends and whatever. 272 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,000 And I thought if I bumped into them, you know, with a new girl from Cordoba, I just thought 273 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,920 that would be, I'd be blacklisted, I thought. 274 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:44,920 Yeah. 275 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:47,280 So I think that was a part of it. 276 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:53,480 But yeah, I think I'm kind of ghosting out of that one, I think. 277 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:54,480 You're ghosting her. 278 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,800 I think I'm just fading out. 279 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,040 Yeah, I'm fading out. 280 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,440 What's the difference between fading and ghosting? 281 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,920 I don't know. 282 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:03,920 I don't know. 283 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:04,920 Just going really slowly. 284 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:05,920 I don't know. 285 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:06,920 I don't know. 286 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:12,360 But I like, because I'm trying, you know, I like chatting to her and whatever, so I 287 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:20,120 respond and I'm nice and whatever, but yeah, I'm probably fading out of that one. 288 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:33,440 And then there's a Russian girl who is, again, seems quite nice, very bold and outgoing and 289 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,440 she has a very good job. 290 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:40,920 She's got high-powered, actually, and quite a touch intimidating, if I'm honest. 291 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,560 Yeah. 292 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,720 But she likes techno, right? 293 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,040 She goes to techno raves. 294 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,760 That's what she does in her spare time and then runs half marathons. 295 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:56,480 She's quite intense, I'd say. 296 00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:03,840 And I've been on a couple of dates with her and yeah, I mean, I quite like her. 297 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,840 I quite like her. 298 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:10,480 There was something there, I'd say. 299 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,760 What do you like about her? 300 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:14,760 Yeah. 301 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:22,320 Well, you know, she's attractive and she's successful, definitely. 302 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,600 She's very confident and bold. 303 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:30,960 And yeah, she's quite nice. 304 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:35,720 We've had reasonably good chat, I'd say. 305 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:46,440 But then the third one is an English girl who I went on a date with and I instantly 306 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,760 thought, I like this girl. 307 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,000 Yeah, I did. 308 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000 I did. 309 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:57,480 I came away from that date thinking, yep, I can do that. 310 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,480 I'm into that, definitely. 311 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:10,800 It's very strange, like on paper, again, I'd say out of the three, she's probably the least 312 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:17,240 appropriate or I don't know, the one that you'd probably choose less, but she's got 313 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:23,120 really good banter and she makes me laugh and she takes the piss out of me. 314 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:25,480 That seems to be a way to my heart. 315 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,920 Yeah, she's definitely cool. 316 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:37,040 I mean, we are worlds apart in who we are, but now it's been really good connection for 317 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,040 me, certainly. 318 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,040 Yeah. 319 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,760 So yeah, it's funny how it works. 320 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:49,000 Is there a framework or something specific that you're looking for right now while you're 321 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000 dating? 322 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,680 I don't think so. 323 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,720 I think I'm working that out now. 324 00:20:54,720 --> 00:21:06,080 So in the past, I've thought I've had a type or whatever, but now I'm just, I don't know, 325 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:13,280 trying loads of different people and just trying to see what happens really, I guess. 326 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:18,120 Yeah, more the trial and error route, I guess. 327 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:23,680 I guess I'm curious, what is it that you're looking for while you're dating right now? 328 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:28,200 Oh, as in, yeah, I think I want a relationship. 329 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:32,520 Yeah, I'm not just trying to have fun or anything like that. 330 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:41,400 I want to try various dates and whatever and see what works, but yeah, I think I want a 331 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:42,400 relationship. 332 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:50,200 I'm 37, I feel like it's time, really. 333 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,200 Time for what? 334 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:52,200 I don't know. 335 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,960 All my friends are in serious relationships. 336 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,680 They've all got kids, you know, it does start to play on you a little bit. 337 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,440 You start to think, man, what the hell am I doing? 338 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,240 But also, I enjoy being in a relationship. 339 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,800 I've realized that. 340 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:14,040 I was somewhat happy in my last relationship, at least in the daily routine of it, sharing 341 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,360 a place or whatever. 342 00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:21,760 I'd never really lived on my own before until these last few months. 343 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:26,720 Yeah, well, because university, you live with friends. 344 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,480 After that, lived with friends. 345 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,960 Then I lived with girlfriends. 346 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:38,600 I guess I've always really lived with other people. 347 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:45,120 That was one thing I had to face initially, but I did get used to that, actually. 348 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:50,360 Now I don't mind it so much, but I do like living with someone, I think. 349 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:58,360 So, yeah, I'm definitely looking for a relationship, I'd say. 350 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:03,360 What is it about being in a relationship that you like? 351 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:07,480 Yeah, I don't know. 352 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,480 It's just nice to... 353 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:10,480 The company, isn't it? 354 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,600 I think I'm quite a social person. 355 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,760 I quite like to be around others. 356 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:21,600 I mean, fortunately, I get good social at work, definitely. 357 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:26,640 It's a very sociable environment at work, so I get a lot of that during the day. 358 00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,640 But no, I like to do things with others, really. 359 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,640 I don't like to come home and sit here on my own. 360 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,640 Don't know what to do with myself. 361 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:42,120 So, no, I like to be with someone else. 362 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,680 That was my next question. 363 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:48,000 How is it to come home and be by yourself? 364 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:53,760 What comes up when you go home to an empty house and then you are by yourself for the 365 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:54,760 night? 366 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,560 What goes on with you or in your head or what are you thinking? 367 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:01,720 Well, I've been adapting to that, trying to fill that space, I guess. 368 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:06,680 I mean, I get home at like six, I'm already knackered. 369 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:07,680 Have some dinner. 370 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:11,480 There's not a lot of time left in the day, but what have I been doing? 371 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:15,560 I've done a lot of exercise, actually. 372 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:22,520 Exercise seems to be something to do, put me in a good mood. 373 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,560 I go and sit in the sauna sometimes. 374 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:31,400 I don't know, something to do. 375 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,840 And I go to bed very early, I'm afraid. 376 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,160 Sadly early. 377 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:43,480 And then just read in bed until I sleep and then get up early. 378 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,960 So I don't do a lot in the evening, to be honest. 379 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:49,320 And then I've filled up, I've done a lot of dating, I'd say, as well. 380 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,440 That's kept me entertained as well. 381 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:58,040 So I've probably been using it a bit for entertaining the dating as well. 382 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:02,440 It's expensive though, my God. 383 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:03,440 Expensive? 384 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:04,800 What are you doing for dates? 385 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:05,800 Oh my God. 386 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,920 It's like a hundred quid a date in London. 387 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:16,880 Two drinks each and maybe, I don't know, a nibble of some sort and you're at a hundred 388 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,880 quid. 389 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,880 Right? 390 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,800 And I'm thinking in this day and age, girls are offering to pay. 391 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,280 I can tell you they are not offering to pay. 392 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,800 I'd say I've paid for like 80% of dates. 393 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:30,800 Yeah. 394 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,720 How do you feel about that? 395 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,720 How do I feel? 396 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:41,680 I mean, you get to that bill paying time and you're like, okay, I'm just going to slowly 397 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,840 start putting the card out and yeah, nothing back from the girl. 398 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,840 Bang, paid, see you later. 399 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:52,040 I don't know why that's the case. 400 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,520 Yeah, I also don't know why that's the case. 401 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,040 I thought we reached this point where it's more equal. 402 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,040 Yeah, that's what I thought. 403 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,920 But no, it's not been my case so far. 404 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,480 There's been a couple. 405 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:11,680 No, I wondered if, because you know, on hinge you have to put like what you do as your job 406 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,000 or whatever. 407 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:19,640 So I wonder if because my job is like in finance, I wonder if that is like a factor going in. 408 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,920 They think, you know, he's in finance, he can pay. 409 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:23,920 I don't know. 410 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:33,160 I did hear of somebody one time who, if she needed something done, like in her house, 411 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:39,520 she would specifically look for people with these like skills or qualifications and like 412 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:45,320 go out on a date with them and then be like, oh, by the way, I noticed you're this and 413 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:50,240 I actually have this thing in my house and she was getting people to fix shit for her 414 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:51,240 for free. 415 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,240 Yes. 416 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,040 That's mental. 417 00:26:55,040 --> 00:27:02,120 So I'm sure there are people like that who are also searching for a specific kind of 418 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:10,560 person either on paper or in person because they want that kind of security or treatment 419 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:14,600 or yeah, whatever it is that they're looking for. 420 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,920 This is, oh, this is a good question. 421 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,280 What kind of swiper are you? 422 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,280 What are you? 423 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:19,280 Okay. 424 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,280 Well, hinge, I guess it's not really swiping, right? 425 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,360 It's liking. 426 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,880 So what do I like? 427 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:24,880 Yeah. 428 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:25,880 Yeah. 429 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,880 What do I like? 430 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:33,080 Well, obviously attractive is very key part of it. 431 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:34,080 Central. 432 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:40,960 But I do have, yeah, I've definitely got certain things that I like and don't like. 433 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:50,880 I don't like too much like makeup, you know, too, like pumped up lips, you know, if I see 434 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:56,200 any signs of potentially from like Essex, which is by the way, pretty much where I grew 435 00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:00,320 up, then that's going to be inside me. 436 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,480 It's an innate no for me. 437 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:03,480 Yeah. 438 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:04,480 That's just a bang. 439 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:05,480 No. 440 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,800 And that was what I was saying about Tinder that it was full of trash, right? 441 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,840 Tinder for me was like 99% Essex. 442 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:17,320 Just pumped up lips, you know, just absolute trash. 443 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,880 I was just like, no, not for me. 444 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,200 So yeah. 445 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,120 And then I've probably got an age thing as well. 446 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:33,560 Like I don't, I'd say like, yes, I've been on a date or two with people like 37, which 447 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:34,560 is my age. 448 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,640 But generally, I think a bit younger than me. 449 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:44,280 I think, I don't know, I think I'm probably like not that mature in some ways for my age. 450 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:51,440 And I just think maybe I suit someone that's like sort of 30 or something like that. 451 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:56,920 And also in terms of like where I am in my life as well, like I'm not where most 37 year 452 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:57,920 old men are in their life. 453 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:58,920 I don't think so. 454 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,600 I think I'm more like a 30 year old. 455 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:07,120 So that's one thing, age, the physical appearance. 456 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,920 I don't read a lot of the prompts. 457 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:15,960 I don't know if you know him, is that well, anyone that takes it too seriously, like I 458 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:22,120 was trying to give really serious answers that I don't really, I like jokey answers 459 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:23,120 really, I think. 460 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:24,120 Yeah. 461 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:27,280 There's a lot of girls putting the same things, you know. 462 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,280 Yeah. 463 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,840 I wish I could recall some, but I can't. 464 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:35,360 I'm afraid from the top of my head, but there's a lot of girls repeating the same stuff and 465 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,760 it's just very uninspiring to me. 466 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:45,440 Actually this English girl that I told you that I liked, her profile was definitely different. 467 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,920 It was very jokey. 468 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,560 And yeah, we just immediately started joking off the back of that. 469 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:58,120 It's quite funny actually, because she'd had one of her prompts was something like the 470 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:02,600 way to my heart or something and she just put dad jokes, right? 471 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,920 So I thought, oh, I'll go in with a dad joke. 472 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:06,920 Yeah. 473 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,760 Oh, so this is another thing about hinge, right? 474 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:13,080 You've got to learn how to communicate on hinge. 475 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,200 That was a total learning curve. 476 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,680 Oh yeah? 477 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:17,680 Yeah. 478 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,600 You can't just go in with like, hi, how are you? 479 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,980 You know, hello Laura or whatever your name is. 480 00:30:23,980 --> 00:30:24,980 How are you? 481 00:30:24,980 --> 00:30:25,980 You know, too boring. 482 00:30:25,980 --> 00:30:27,880 They're not even going to answer you, right? 483 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:28,880 Okay. 484 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:29,880 Or how is your weekend? 485 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,560 The worst thing you can ask is how's your weekend going? 486 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,160 The worst thing you can, yeah. 487 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,320 Fucking hate that. 488 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,360 If you ask someone how the weekend's going, you're just finished, you know? 489 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,800 Unmatched. 490 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:43,800 So I think you can't even say hello. 491 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:50,680 I think you have to go in with something sharp, you know, something out there, a little bit, 492 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,640 you know, punchy, a little bit edgy. 493 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,040 Yeah. 494 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,280 So that's how you've got to start. 495 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,200 And then you've got to keep that up as well. 496 00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,200 Right. 497 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,600 You can't relax and just be like, anyway, how are you doing now? 498 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,800 You know, something like, how's your day going? 499 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:05,800 You know, blocked. 500 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:06,800 Not answered. 501 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,800 You know, not blocked, but not answered. 502 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,800 Anyway, so I went in with a...what was it? 503 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:14,800 It was like a...right. 504 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,800 I was like, do you want to hear a joke about a pizza? 505 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:18,800 Right. 506 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,800 I don't know why I've come up with this shit dad joke anyway. 507 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:22,800 I have. 508 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:23,800 So I've got in with that. 509 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:24,800 Is it super cheesy? 510 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,800 That's...so she's answered that within like two minutes. 511 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,800 And I'm like, oh my god. 512 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:32,800 I thought this is the basest joke of all time. 513 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,800 So I was like, ah ha ha ha ha. 514 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:40,800 I was like, no, you know, I'm not that basic, you know, the eyes emoji. 515 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,800 And then I thought, fuck, I really need to come up with another pizza joke, right? 516 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:45,800 A better one. 517 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:49,800 So I'm like trawling through pizza jokes, trying to find a funny one. 518 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:55,800 So I'm like, oh, left a pizza in the oven last night, burned 2000 calories. 519 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:56,800 Still no response. 520 00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:57,800 Right. 521 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,800 I thought, ah fucking hell. 522 00:31:58,800 --> 00:31:59,800 This is... 523 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,800 So I've got in with another one. 524 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:04,800 I've gone there. 525 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,800 I've gone, oh no, no, I've no... 526 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,800 Oh man, can't believe it. 527 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,800 Another one bites the crust. 528 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:16,800 And about 20 minutes later, she responded. 529 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:20,800 And then to her credit, she responded with a pizza pun. 530 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:21,800 Right. 531 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,800 She's come and rescued me from this pizza pun spiral with a pizza pun. 532 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:28,800 Right. 533 00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:33,800 I thank her for this, for throwing me a bone, you know, for saving me from down here. 534 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,800 I was like, I was dying down here, you know, drowning in pizza puns. 535 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:38,800 Thank you so much. 536 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:40,800 And then she's done a couple more. 537 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:42,800 It was fantastic. 538 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,800 So I was very pleased with that. 539 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:46,800 Anyway, we had a lot of jokes after that. 540 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,800 So that was a good start. 541 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,800 That sounds fun. 542 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:56,800 To like flip this completely, have you had any like really terrible or outrageous in 543 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,800 a bad way dates? 544 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,800 I've had a couple. 545 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:03,800 Oh yeah. 546 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,800 No, I've had a few actually. 547 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:12,800 So, well, I've had a couple of dates where, and this is difficult to say without sounding 548 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,800 like a male chauvinist, right? 549 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:15,800 Or whatever. 550 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:22,800 But I've had a couple of dates where they've turned up and I'm afraid they did not look 551 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,800 like they did in their pictures. 552 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:25,800 Okay. 553 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,800 That sounds bad. 554 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:38,800 But no, when you instantly feel like you really don't fancy them, you know, and you also feel 555 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:43,800 a little bit cheated, you know, but then I'm just like, well, I'm here now. 556 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,800 So I had one date with this girl and she turned up within two seconds. 557 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,800 I'm just like, that's a no. 558 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,800 But I've turned up and we've gone for a restaurant. 559 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:53,800 That's the worst decision. 560 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,800 That's part of the learning curve, right? 561 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:56,800 And I've paid for dinner. 562 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:00,800 I've sat there for two hours with her and I've got to the end as well. 563 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:01,800 Oh, this was the worst. 564 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:06,800 I've got to the end and I was like, oh, so, you know, I haven't dated for ages or whatever. 565 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,800 I don't know how it works now. 566 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:09,800 Does the man still pay? 567 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:11,800 And she was like, yeah, that's fine. 568 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,800 120 quid. 569 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,800 I fucking was bored shitless. 570 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:18,800 Just trying to be nice the whole night. 571 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,800 Didn't fancy her at all. 572 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:22,800 Oh, no, that's terrible. 573 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,800 But she made me pay for it. 574 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,800 Yeah, I think she could sense that I was not into it. 575 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,800 And she just said, yeah, you can pay for it. 576 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,800 So that was not good. 577 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,800 I've had a few of those actually. 578 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,800 Were you sat through a whole dinner together? 579 00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,800 Well, sat through a whole evening. 580 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,800 I don't mind to try and chat and try and get something out of it. 581 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:42,800 You know, let's give them a chance. 582 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,800 Let's see how they are and, you know, try and get something going. 583 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,800 But no, that one was depressing. 584 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,800 I can remember coming home on the train after that one. 585 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,800 Just dropped 120 quid. 586 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,800 You know, I hadn't enjoyed it at all. 587 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,800 And I remember phoning my mate. 588 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,800 I felt pretty damn miserable after that. 589 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:06,800 But yeah, then you just got to get back on the app, get another one, you know, 590 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:07,800 move on to the next one. 591 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,800 Yeah, is that how that works? 592 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,800 Get some hope going again. 593 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,800 Yeah, yeah, it does. 594 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,800 It does work. 595 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,800 There's been a couple of slightly crazy ones, I'd say. 596 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:20,800 Oh, yeah? 597 00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:21,800 Enlighten me. 598 00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:26,800 There was also a girl from Romania that was pretty nuts. 599 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,800 Getting really hot, right? 600 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:29,800 Smoking. 601 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:33,800 And we walked around for hours. 602 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,800 Did a really nice loop around Hammersmith, around the river. 603 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,800 It was my favorite walk. 604 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:43,800 And yeah, she was definitely a bit nutty. 605 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,800 But I thought, well, fine. 606 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,800 I'll give her a chance and whatever. 607 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:51,800 She was really attractive, so fine. 608 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:57,800 Yeah, we get to the end of the date and started kissing. 609 00:35:57,800 --> 00:35:59,800 And she was like, I know what you're thinking. 610 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:00,800 I was like, what? 611 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,800 She was like, is it too soon to grab my ass? 612 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,800 I was like, OK. 613 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,800 And so I grabbed her ass. 614 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,800 Anyway, that was besides the point. 615 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:16,800 So I thought that had gone well, and then afterwards, again, 616 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:21,800 next day or something, I hadn't texted until the evening or something. 617 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,800 And I just got psycho messages. 618 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,800 She was fuming, absolutely fuming. 619 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,800 Where's my message? 620 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,800 How are you doing? 621 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,800 How was your day? 622 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,800 Nice bum, ex. 623 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,800 And I was like, oh, I'm really sorry. 624 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:43,800 Sorry I didn't realize that you felt like that. 625 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,800 Some girls don't like to be texted too much. 626 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,800 You don't want to crowd them out or whatever. 627 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,800 And she was like, you don't really mean that. 628 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,800 That's bullshit. 629 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,800 Again, really intense. 630 00:36:55,800 --> 00:37:02,800 And then, so she went from that to then two days later when I was trying to sort of reverse that 631 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:07,800 and trying to be nice and text a bit more. 632 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:13,800 And then she played the mental health card and said that in this moment, 633 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,800 she thinks it's not a good idea to date anybody. 634 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:18,800 I'm very sorry. 635 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,800 So I just said, oh, absolutely no worries. 636 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:27,800 And if you'd like to chat one day, not as dating, let me know. 637 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:36,800 And then she started posting status updates of her doing fun stuff. 638 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,800 Fun things and rollerblading and stuff like this. 639 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:41,800 I don't know. 640 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:43,800 It was all very conflicting information. 641 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:44,800 Yeah, sounds like it. 642 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,800 I just, again, removed that one from my phone. 643 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:53,800 And that's when you have these moments when you think afterwards that, you know, 644 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,800 am I in the lost property basket? 645 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:56,800 You know what I mean? 646 00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:02,800 I thought, is it just, is it only the nutters are left on hinge? 647 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,800 Is that it? 648 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:07,800 I have had that thought a few times. 649 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,800 All the non-nutters are not on hinge, right? 650 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,800 Because they're all taken. 651 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:13,800 That's what I thought. 652 00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:14,800 Do you really think that? 653 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:21,800 No, but you know, after a date's like that, you do question sometimes. 654 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,800 But no, I've met plenty of nice people. 655 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:29,800 You mentioned earlier, you said, I think something like, oh, 656 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:33,800 I should probably just get on with it because a lot of your friends are married 657 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:38,800 and they have kids and they have houses and you chose to do life a little bit 658 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:39,800 differently. 659 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:47,800 So I'm wondering, is there some sort of like social or family pressure or 660 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:52,800 something that's giving you this feeling of you should just get on with it? 661 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:53,800 Of course. 662 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:54,800 Like we all have that, right? 663 00:38:54,800 --> 00:39:00,800 Even though some of us might say that we don't, of course there is that there, 664 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,800 isn't there? 665 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,800 But you know, it's not the main driver. 666 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:10,800 Also, like I said, I do like, I think I like to be in a relationship and I do 667 00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:12,800 want to be with someone, I think. 668 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,800 So it's a mixture. 669 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:25,800 Do you think you're dating differently because of your age and career and 670 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:30,800 because you've just come out of a long relationship? 671 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:34,800 I mean, compared to 10 years ago was like the last, let's say your first year, 672 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:35,800 All Intents and Purposes, right? 673 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:39,800 It was a decade ago was the last time you were really on the dating market and 674 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,800 you were in your twenties and now you're in your late thirties. 675 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:50,800 Yeah, probably a touch more serious, a touch more filter, right? 676 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:58,800 I mean, when I first started dating, I thought I'll allow myself to like date 677 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:04,800 a few like sort of young hot girls or whatever, you know what I mean? 678 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:05,800 Just to have some fun. 679 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:10,800 And I did think that I would give myself that permission. 680 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,800 But I'm already sort of not bothered about that. 681 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,800 You know, I've got to have a few more things going on than that. 682 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,800 I don't know if I can realize that. 683 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:26,800 So, you know, a bit more potential of something developing. 684 00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:27,800 Yeah. 685 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,800 So, yeah, I'm probably a bit more serious, I guess. 686 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:37,800 I think the last question I want to ask you is, do you have any advice or 687 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:42,800 words of wisdom you want to share with other people who are also in their 688 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:46,800 late thirties and dating? 689 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:47,800 Maybe. 690 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:51,800 So I've probably mentioned it already. 691 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:54,800 So like the acceptance, right? 692 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:58,800 So a lot of people are like, oh, Hinge, you know, I don't like being on a 693 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,800 dating app, you know, and that's sort of holding them back. 694 00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,800 Everyone's on a dating app, you've got to get on with it. 695 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:11,800 Go out, meet as many people as you can, you know, scatter gun it. 696 00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,800 Got to learn the rules of the game as well, right? 697 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:15,800 You've got to learn to be able to do the chat. 698 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,800 That is so and that's so difficult, right? 699 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:22,800 To do like fun, texty chat is fucking that is hard. 700 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,800 Like in real life, it's much more easy, I think. 701 00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:29,800 So you've got to learn how to chat, right? 702 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,800 And yeah, you've got to learn the rules of the game, I think. 703 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:39,800 And that's just going to give you so much more success, I think, because you 704 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:45,800 could fail early on in dates on so many tiny little things if you're just not 705 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,800 doing it according to the right rules of the game. 706 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,800 So yeah, you've got to learn how it works. 707 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:52,800 Yeah. 708 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:57,800 So my, I actually had this conversation with my half sister. 709 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:01,800 She had been very tentative with the whole Hinge thing. 710 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:02,800 She's much younger. 711 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,800 She's probably like 25, I'd say. 712 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,800 And she'd show me a Hinge profile. 713 00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,800 And I just said, I took it to pieces. 714 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:17,800 I tried to help. 715 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:23,800 You know, you do need to put a little bit of nice looking photos in there, 716 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:24,800 right? 717 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,800 You know, you've got to know what the guys are primarily attracted to. 718 00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,800 And I know this is my half sister I'm giving this advice to, but she has since 719 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,800 taken it on board and she's now going on Hinge dates and she's really pleased 720 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:37,800 with it. 721 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:38,800 So yeah, yeah. 722 00:42:38,800 --> 00:42:44,800 So I just helped her select her photos and just also some jokey answers on the 723 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,800 prompts as well. 724 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:47,800 Yeah. 725 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:48,800 Yeah. 726 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:52,800 I think it just projects like, I don't know, confidence and that you're not 727 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:56,800 because, you know, some people are a bit tentative and oh, I don't really like 728 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:57,800 Hinge. 729 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,800 I don't want to be on this dating app or boring, you know, next. 730 00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:05,800 You've got to accept it and make the best of it. 731 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:06,800 I guess. 732 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:14,800 Hey, Windham here with a quick note before the credits. 733 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:19,800 Harry and I have had a lot of fun these last few months making these episodes, 734 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:24,800 but we've only got two episodes left this season and we want to know what do 735 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:25,800 you think? 736 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:26,800 What have you liked? 737 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:27,800 What are you missing? 738 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,800 Is the context relevant? 739 00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,800 Do you want to season two and what could we explore? 740 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:37,800 Please leave us your questions, comments, suggestions, slide into our DMs on 741 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,800 Instagram, write us an email, use the form on the website. 742 00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:41,800 It's a 21st century. 743 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:46,800 I'm sure you can reach us if you want to and we are very much looking forward to 744 00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:47,800 hearing from you. 745 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:48,800 Thanks. 746 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:54,800 Dating Log is recorded and hosted by me, Wyndham Juneau. 747 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,800 It is produced by Harry Dark. 748 00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,800 Our artwork is in collaboration with Esme Hemming Studio. 749 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,800 You can follow us on Instagram at datinglogpodcast. 750 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,800 Our website is datinglogpodcast.com. 751 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:12,800 And if you'd like to send us a message, you can slide into our Instagram DMs or 752 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,800 email us at datinglogpodcast at gmail.com. 753 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,800 Please like and subscribe wherever you listen. 754 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:24,800 And if you're enjoying the episode so far, leave a review and tell a friend. 755 00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,800 We'll be back in the Fortnite with the next episode. 756 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:54,800 Please don't ghost us.