Welcome to Dating Log, the podcast that records the ups and downs of dating in your 30s.
I'm your host, Wyndham Juneau, and this is episode 10, Another One Bites the Crust.
Tom has been in back-to-back, long-term relationships since his 20s, and he's just arriving back
in the dating game, over a decade later, in his late 30s.
He began hand-swiping almost immediately after his most recent relationship ended.
That means that this episode is jam-packed full of juicy stories and dating anecdotes,
along with a cast of characters looking for a pizza his heart.
Enjoy!
Yeah, I'm in London.
I'm 37.
I was in back-to-back relationships until May this year, that lasted probably together
between about seven, maybe eight years.
So I've not dated since like late 20s, and now I'm on the dating scene.
And I'm quite enjoying it, to be honest.
Yeah, I've been using Hinge, which I think is fantastic.
I mean, when I was dating before, so like 20s, I think they had just introduced Tinder,
right?
Or at least I'd just discovered it.
So I used it for about a month, and that was it.
But it was still very much you had to date the normal way, like go up to a girl in a
bar with your friends standing behind you, taking the piss out of you, you know?
And yeah, that's good, and I like that.
And then suddenly there's Hinge, right, which is in the centre of London, and you've just
got this endless sea of possibilities, you know?
I think there's sport for choice nowadays, these dates.
It's just like a...but it's got positives and negatives, because at the same time, too
much possibility is like if one of your messages is remotely boring or not funny, you're cut
for the next guy, you know?
Because this, especially the hot girls, they've got like 50 guys writing to them at the same
time, all offering them the best dates in town, you know?
And there's you coming with a date saying, do you want to go for a walk in the park and
grab a coffee, you're cut, you know?
Not good enough.
So there's that side, but then there's also, you've got that as well, like, you know, you're
just constant options and sort of possibilities.
So it's been interesting, and I've definitely been enjoying it.
Although there has been times when I've woken up and felt like I'm in the lost property
basket, but I think that's just a perception sometimes when you're feeling a bit negative
about it.
Yeah, that was quite a loaded intro.
I have lots of questions for you.
Okay, so you mentioned you were in back to back relationships.
And let's go back to the beginning of this.
Tinder had just come out and you were on it for about a month.
Did you meet the first relationship via Tinder?
I did.
I did, yeah.
Yeah, she tried to have me pretend that we didn't meet via Tinder for like the first six
months or something, but then sooner or later I got bored of lying and just said, yeah,
we met on Tinder.
Yeah, we did.
But the second one did not.
And the second one was actually a really nice meet.
So I'd been with the first one for like five years and it was COVID and she'd gone back
to Argentina.
That's where we met.
That's where she's from.
And I'd come back to England and I'd studied a master's in England and I was trying to
sort of reintegrate into society here.
And I was trying to get in a very specific line of work, kind of like sort of almost
like an area of journalism that requires a lot of dedication and a lot of free work.
So I was doing free work for like a year.
So I was unpaid, living at my parents, living at my mom's, she's an anaphomy, living at
my dad's, he's an anaphomy.
And it's mid COVID and I'm at my dad's which is in north of France in the middle of nowhere.
I'm talking like 10 kilometres from the closest shop.
So I'm like over winter, I've broken up with my ex and I just had not got a job for like,
I don't know, it was like 18 months or something.
So it was a dark time.
And then I got a job in London and now I'm coming back to London, you know, with a job.
So I'm going to earn money, I'm going to see friends again, I'm going to have this new
life, you know, start dating again, which I was really looking forward to.
And on the way back on the boat, I met this other girl.
So it's like, it's like, oh my god, it's falling out of the sky, right?
There was one other person pretty much on this boat and it was her.
She was far too young for me.
I was like 12 years older than her.
But we didn't know that at the time we started dating and then it just sort of evolved.
Anyway, it still felt like it fell out of the sky.
Yeah.
So it was good and it lasted two years, then it broke.
Anyway, that was like a really strong impetus to a relationship.
And I do feel like you do lose that with the hinge thing, right?
So part of my adapting to hinge has been an acceptance, you know, this is how everyone's
dating nowadays.
This is what everyone's doing, you know, so just get on with it, right?
And make it work.
The dating apps.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I don't know if people are still meeting each other in real life, but it seems like
everyone's on hinge, right?
So.
Okay.
Yeah.
You tell me.
Yeah.
Well, you're the dating expert, so.
Not the experts.
I am the dating investigator.
Can I ask why did you choose hinge?
I tried Tinder briefly and I just thought it was trash, man.
I was not impressed with Tinder.
I thought hinge was much better quality.
How so?
Oh my God.
I'd say the profiles were slightly classier to put it one way.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I thought it was a load of trash on Tinder.
I don't know what it felt like.
Did you go on any dates from Tinder?
No.
I deleted it fairly soon as well.
Yeah.
I just want to get the timing right.
When did you end your last relationship?
Beginning of May.
And when did you get on hinge?
Probably, I don't know, like I probably downloaded it after a couple of weeks, but I probably
didn't start actually using it for like a month.
And my first couple of dates, looking back on it, I was not ready at all.
No.
Not at all.
No.
I struggled to hide it as well, right?
Because actually the ending of my previous relationship did actually cut me up a bit.
I was disappointed.
It was not a very good ending really.
When they asked me, like, oh, and your previous relationship, I really struggled to hide the
fact that it ended, you know, not in the way that I wanted it to end.
Why did you decide to go on dates so quickly if you knew you weren't ready?
Or yeah, like why do that after such a breakup that did something to you?
I was trying to recover from the situation and sort of turn it around.
I did a number of things, made some positive changes and stuff, and it did work, to be
honest.
I never really got to process the end of that relationship because we just never spoke.
That was it.
It was just ridiculous.
But sooner or later, I just get up carrying really.
Actually the dating in the end really helped.
Once I started meeting quite nice people and had some, I don't want to say options, but
I don't know how to say it in a nice way.
But yeah, I saw that there was other people out there.
Options is a valid word.
Yeah.
I thought I saw other people out there.
And some nice people and more appropriate and whatever, then that was nice.
Yeah.
About how many dates or how much time in did you start feeling ready for dating?
Well, I don't know, a couple of months maybe.
So fairly early on, I had a good date with this girl.
She was really cool.
And the date was going really well, really well.
We're like belly laughing and I'm thinking, oh, this is decent.
And then, I don't know how we got onto the topic yet.
She was trying to ask me about my previous relationship and I was like, oh, we don't
want to talk about that.
Then she pushed and pushed.
So then I gave her, I tried to give her a light version of the story.
I said, oh, and then she just disappeared.
To be honest, it's been difficult.
Oh, that's why.
And she was asking, because I was doing a triathlon, she was asking, why are you doing
a triathlon?
Why are you doing a triathlon?
And I was just like, oh, just because I want to do it and because I was doing it with my
brother-in-law, I was enjoying it and I was enjoying getting fit.
And she was like, why are you doing a triathlon?
So I said, well, actually there is a reason.
I said, I'd had a difficult time earlier this year and this was a positive response.
Anyway, she just dropped in tone after I'd done this.
And then she's gone to the bathroom and come back.
So I'm trying to bring it back, trying to get the vibe back, trying to joke and whatever.
About 10 minutes later, still she's just flat.
And I just said, look, we start talking about exes because you insisted and since then it's
just fucking died.
She then said, she recognized that.
She's like, yeah, I'm sorry.
And then she said that she'd very recently broken up like even less time than me.
And I think like it made her think of what she'd done to him or something like that.
Anyway, that one died pretty much there, which was ridiculous to be honest.
I was quite disappointed about that.
But that moment, like the good moment that we'd had up to it, I think had made me think,
oh yeah, okay.
There are good dates to be had out there.
So yeah, I just carried on really.
Can you tell me about some of the other good dates you've had since then?
So I've had some mixed dates.
So I met an Argentine that was from Córdoba from where I'd lived.
So that was quite amazing for her to come to London and meet an English boy who'd lived
in Córdoba, second biggest town in Argentina, but in the middle of nowhere.
It's like a thousand kilometers inland from Buenos Aires.
Most people here have never been there or never heard of it.
And there's her on her own over here and she meets an English guy who lived there for five
years.
So we had the first date, which was good.
And then second date lasted, I think we met on the Friday afternoon and she left on Monday
morning.
Wow.
So it went intense quickly.
And you know, like Latin, Latinas are a bit sort of passionate, a bit fiery, a bit intense,
right?
She was a 10 on that level.
She was peak Latina.
Right.
I wouldn't text her back for a few hours and she'd like block me on her phone.
She did that three times in two weeks.
By the third time I was just like, that's enough.
You know, I've reached my limit.
But then she kept writing and writing and writing.
And she even, so I got into bed one evening at like 10 o'clock, bear in mind, I live
in a building with a concierge and I got into bed really early and I felt a knock at the
door.
And it was like shiver down my spine and I went to answer the door.
And there's this girl with absolute fury in her eyes, dressed up to the nines, looking
fantastic.
There to give me a bollocking in like high heels.
What happened?
No, I did not.
I just tried to say that, you know, I'm very sorry, but I just, you know, I thought it
was too much that you'd blocked me three times in two weeks.
I thought it was too much.
And I thought, you know, if you've done that within two weeks, what's it going to be like
in a few months?
I said, that does, that sounds like quite a stressful relationship, but that's not the
sort of thing I want to be involved in.
Yeah, fair.
That day I'd had a situation at work.
I've got this really funny guy next to me and I'd had a serious phone call, but he'd
managed to make me crack up in the middle of this phone call and now I've got her in
my hallway in this really intense moment, giving me a lecture.
And I recalled, you know, that thought you get when you think the worst thing I could
do right now would be to smile.
Right?
And I remembered this guy, my colleague, making me crack up on the phone and I just felt the
corners of my mouth start to go.
I had to put my hand over my mouth when she's giving me this really serious lecture, you
know, from the bottom of her heart.
And I just had to say that I'm really sorry and I sometimes smile, I sometimes laugh in
inappropriate moments.
Anyway, she managed to, thank God she ignored it and just carried on with the lecture.
I just tried to be nice to her as best as I could, but it was too much.
She recognized, you know, she'd gone far too far.
It was insane.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I finished that one and then I started dating, well, I started talking to three people,
which is kind of where I am now.
So one of them, remarkably, was also from Cordoba, right?
So I've met two people, I'd say, from Cordoba since I got here back from Cordoba in 2018
and they were both within like three weeks of each other on Hinge.
Wow.
Yeah.
So anyway, but this one's like the polar opposite of her.
She's like really nice, decent, well-educated, a great job.
You know, the sort of person on paper would be like an ideal wife, I'd say.
And she is really, you know, keen as well.
And we had a couple of dates and they were quite nice.
But I just felt no spark, if I'm honest.
No vibe, even though, you know, I had a lot of respect for her and for her job and she
was attractive and really nice, good at tennis, you know, which I like.
But I just felt nothing.
I felt nothing, which is strange.
Strange.
I don't know if inside of me, the whole Cordoba thing, I think maybe I'd been either turned
off it or I just thought it wouldn't work.
I thought, A, turning up back in Cordoba, right, where I've had this five-year relationship
in the past and I've made all these great friends and I loved the exes and family and
friends and whatever.
And I thought if I bumped into them, you know, with a new girl from Cordoba, I just thought
that would be, I'd be blacklisted, I thought.
Yeah.
So I think that was a part of it.
But yeah, I think I'm kind of ghosting out of that one, I think.
You're ghosting her.
I think I'm just fading out.
Yeah, I'm fading out.
What's the difference between fading and ghosting?
I don't know.
Just going really slowly.
I don't know.
But I like, because I'm trying, you know, I like chatting to her and whatever, so I
respond and I'm nice and whatever, but yeah, I'm probably fading out of that one.
And then there's a Russian girl who is, again, seems quite nice, very bold and outgoing and
she has a very good job.
She's got high-powered, actually, and quite a touch intimidating, if I'm honest.
Yeah.
But she likes techno, right?
She goes to techno raves.
That's what she does in her spare time and then runs half marathons.
She's quite intense, I'd say.
And I've been on a couple of dates with her and yeah, I mean, I quite like her.
I quite like her.
There was something there, I'd say.
What do you like about her?
Yeah.
Well, you know, she's attractive and she's successful, definitely.
She's very confident and bold.
And yeah, she's quite nice.
We've had reasonably good chat, I'd say.
But then the third one is an English girl who I went on a date with and I instantly
thought, I like this girl.
Yeah, I did.
I did.
I came away from that date thinking, yep, I can do that.
I'm into that, definitely.
It's very strange, like on paper, again, I'd say out of the three, she's probably the least
appropriate or I don't know, the one that you'd probably choose less, but she's got
really good banter and she makes me laugh and she takes the piss out of me.
That seems to be a way to my heart.
Yeah, she's definitely cool.
I mean, we are worlds apart in who we are, but now it's been really good connection for
me, certainly.
Yeah.
So yeah, it's funny how it works.
Is there a framework or something specific that you're looking for right now while you're
dating?
I don't think so.
I think I'm working that out now.
So in the past, I've thought I've had a type or whatever, but now I'm just, I don't know,
trying loads of different people and just trying to see what happens really, I guess.
Yeah, more the trial and error route, I guess.
I guess I'm curious, what is it that you're looking for while you're dating right now?
Oh, as in, yeah, I think I want a relationship.
Yeah, I'm not just trying to have fun or anything like that.
I want to try various dates and whatever and see what works, but yeah, I think I want a
relationship.
I'm 37, I feel like it's time, really.
Time for what?
I don't know.
All my friends are in serious relationships.
They've all got kids, you know, it does start to play on you a little bit.
You start to think, man, what the hell am I doing?
But also, I enjoy being in a relationship.
I've realized that.
I was somewhat happy in my last relationship, at least in the daily routine of it, sharing
a place or whatever.
I'd never really lived on my own before until these last few months.
Yeah, well, because university, you live with friends.
After that, lived with friends.
Then I lived with girlfriends.
I guess I've always really lived with other people.
That was one thing I had to face initially, but I did get used to that, actually.
Now I don't mind it so much, but I do like living with someone, I think.
So, yeah, I'm definitely looking for a relationship, I'd say.
What is it about being in a relationship that you like?
Yeah, I don't know.
It's just nice to...
The company, isn't it?
I think I'm quite a social person.
I quite like to be around others.
I mean, fortunately, I get good social at work, definitely.
It's a very sociable environment at work, so I get a lot of that during the day.
But no, I like to do things with others, really.
I don't like to come home and sit here on my own.
Don't know what to do with myself.
So, no, I like to be with someone else.
That was my next question.
How is it to come home and be by yourself?
What comes up when you go home to an empty house and then you are by yourself for the
night?
What goes on with you or in your head or what are you thinking?
Well, I've been adapting to that, trying to fill that space, I guess.
I mean, I get home at like six, I'm already knackered.
Have some dinner.
There's not a lot of time left in the day, but what have I been doing?
I've done a lot of exercise, actually.
Exercise seems to be something to do, put me in a good mood.
I go and sit in the sauna sometimes.
I don't know, something to do.
And I go to bed very early, I'm afraid.
Sadly early.
And then just read in bed until I sleep and then get up early.
So I don't do a lot in the evening, to be honest.
And then I've filled up, I've done a lot of dating, I'd say, as well.
That's kept me entertained as well.
So I've probably been using it a bit for entertaining the dating as well.
It's expensive though, my God.
Expensive?
What are you doing for dates?
Oh my God.
It's like a hundred quid a date in London.
Two drinks each and maybe, I don't know, a nibble of some sort and you're at a hundred
quid.
Right?
And I'm thinking in this day and age, girls are offering to pay.
I can tell you they are not offering to pay.
I'd say I've paid for like 80% of dates.
Yeah.
How do you feel about that?
How do I feel?
I mean, you get to that bill paying time and you're like, okay, I'm just going to slowly
start putting the card out and yeah, nothing back from the girl.
Bang, paid, see you later.
I don't know why that's the case.
Yeah, I also don't know why that's the case.
I thought we reached this point where it's more equal.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
But no, it's not been my case so far.
There's been a couple.
No, I wondered if, because you know, on hinge you have to put like what you do as your job
or whatever.
So I wonder if because my job is like in finance, I wonder if that is like a factor going in.
They think, you know, he's in finance, he can pay.
I don't know.
I did hear of somebody one time who, if she needed something done, like in her house,
she would specifically look for people with these like skills or qualifications and like
go out on a date with them and then be like, oh, by the way, I noticed you're this and
I actually have this thing in my house and she was getting people to fix shit for her
for free.
Yes.
That's mental.
So I'm sure there are people like that who are also searching for a specific kind of
person either on paper or in person because they want that kind of security or treatment
or yeah, whatever it is that they're looking for.
This is, oh, this is a good question.
What kind of swiper are you?
What are you?
Okay.
Well, hinge, I guess it's not really swiping, right?
It's liking.
So what do I like?
Yeah.
What do I like?
Well, obviously attractive is very key part of it.
Central.
But I do have, yeah, I've definitely got certain things that I like and don't like.
I don't like too much like makeup, you know, too, like pumped up lips, you know, if I see
any signs of potentially from like Essex, which is by the way, pretty much where I grew
up, then that's going to be inside me.
It's an innate no for me.
Yeah.
That's just a bang.
No.
And that was what I was saying about Tinder that it was full of trash, right?
Tinder for me was like 99% Essex.
Just pumped up lips, you know, just absolute trash.
I was just like, no, not for me.
So yeah.
And then I've probably got an age thing as well.
Like I don't, I'd say like, yes, I've been on a date or two with people like 37, which
is my age.
But generally, I think a bit younger than me.
I think, I don't know, I think I'm probably like not that mature in some ways for my age.
And I just think maybe I suit someone that's like sort of 30 or something like that.
And also in terms of like where I am in my life as well, like I'm not where most 37 year
old men are in their life.
I don't think so.
I think I'm more like a 30 year old.
So that's one thing, age, the physical appearance.
I don't read a lot of the prompts.
I don't know if you know him, is that well, anyone that takes it too seriously, like I
was trying to give really serious answers that I don't really, I like jokey answers
really, I think.
Yeah.
There's a lot of girls putting the same things, you know.
Yeah.
I wish I could recall some, but I can't.
I'm afraid from the top of my head, but there's a lot of girls repeating the same stuff and
it's just very uninspiring to me.
Actually this English girl that I told you that I liked, her profile was definitely different.
It was very jokey.
And yeah, we just immediately started joking off the back of that.
It's quite funny actually, because she'd had one of her prompts was something like the
way to my heart or something and she just put dad jokes, right?
So I thought, oh, I'll go in with a dad joke.
Yeah.
Oh, so this is another thing about hinge, right?
You've got to learn how to communicate on hinge.
That was a total learning curve.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
You can't just go in with like, hi, how are you?
You know, hello Laura or whatever your name is.
How are you?
You know, too boring.
They're not even going to answer you, right?
Okay.
Or how is your weekend?
The worst thing you can ask is how's your weekend going?
The worst thing you can, yeah.
Fucking hate that.
If you ask someone how the weekend's going, you're just finished, you know?
Unmatched.
So I think you can't even say hello.
I think you have to go in with something sharp, you know, something out there, a little bit,
you know, punchy, a little bit edgy.
Yeah.
So that's how you've got to start.
And then you've got to keep that up as well.
Right.
You can't relax and just be like, anyway, how are you doing now?
You know, something like, how's your day going?
You know, blocked.
Not answered.
You know, not blocked, but not answered.
Anyway, so I went in with a...what was it?
It was like a...right.
I was like, do you want to hear a joke about a pizza?
Right.
I don't know why I've come up with this shit dad joke anyway.
I have.
So I've got in with that.
Is it super cheesy?
That's...so she's answered that within like two minutes.
And I'm like, oh my god.
I thought this is the basest joke of all time.
So I was like, ah ha ha ha ha.
I was like, no, you know, I'm not that basic, you know, the eyes emoji.
And then I thought, fuck, I really need to come up with another pizza joke, right?
A better one.
So I'm like trawling through pizza jokes, trying to find a funny one.
So I'm like, oh, left a pizza in the oven last night, burned 2000 calories.
Still no response.
Right.
I thought, ah fucking hell.
This is...
So I've got in with another one.
I've gone there.
I've gone, oh no, no, I've no...
Oh man, can't believe it.
Another one bites the crust.
And about 20 minutes later, she responded.
And then to her credit, she responded with a pizza pun.
Right.
She's come and rescued me from this pizza pun spiral with a pizza pun.
Right.
I thank her for this, for throwing me a bone, you know, for saving me from down here.
I was like, I was dying down here, you know, drowning in pizza puns.
Thank you so much.
And then she's done a couple more.
It was fantastic.
So I was very pleased with that.
Anyway, we had a lot of jokes after that.
So that was a good start.
That sounds fun.
To like flip this completely, have you had any like really terrible or outrageous in
a bad way dates?
I've had a couple.
Oh yeah.
No, I've had a few actually.
So, well, I've had a couple of dates where, and this is difficult to say without sounding
like a male chauvinist, right?
Or whatever.
But I've had a couple of dates where they've turned up and I'm afraid they did not look
like they did in their pictures.
Okay.
That sounds bad.
But no, when you instantly feel like you really don't fancy them, you know, and you also feel
a little bit cheated, you know, but then I'm just like, well, I'm here now.
So I had one date with this girl and she turned up within two seconds.
I'm just like, that's a no.
But I've turned up and we've gone for a restaurant.
That's the worst decision.
That's part of the learning curve, right?
And I've paid for dinner.
I've sat there for two hours with her and I've got to the end as well.
Oh, this was the worst.
I've got to the end and I was like, oh, so, you know, I haven't dated for ages or whatever.
I don't know how it works now.
Does the man still pay?
And she was like, yeah, that's fine.
120 quid.
I fucking was bored shitless.
Just trying to be nice the whole night.
Didn't fancy her at all.
Oh, no, that's terrible.
But she made me pay for it.
Yeah, I think she could sense that I was not into it.
And she just said, yeah, you can pay for it.
So that was not good.
I've had a few of those actually.
Were you sat through a whole dinner together?
Well, sat through a whole evening.
I don't mind to try and chat and try and get something out of it.
You know, let's give them a chance.
Let's see how they are and, you know, try and get something going.
But no, that one was depressing.
I can remember coming home on the train after that one.
Just dropped 120 quid.
You know, I hadn't enjoyed it at all.
And I remember phoning my mate.
I felt pretty damn miserable after that.
But yeah, then you just got to get back on the app, get another one, you know,
move on to the next one.
Yeah, is that how that works?
Get some hope going again.
Yeah, yeah, it does.
It does work.
There's been a couple of slightly crazy ones, I'd say.
Oh, yeah?
Enlighten me.
There was also a girl from Romania that was pretty nuts.
Getting really hot, right?
Smoking.
And we walked around for hours.
Did a really nice loop around Hammersmith, around the river.
It was my favorite walk.
And yeah, she was definitely a bit nutty.
But I thought, well, fine.
I'll give her a chance and whatever.
She was really attractive, so fine.
Yeah, we get to the end of the date and started kissing.
And she was like, I know what you're thinking.
I was like, what?
She was like, is it too soon to grab my ass?
I was like, OK.
And so I grabbed her ass.
Anyway, that was besides the point.
So I thought that had gone well, and then afterwards, again,
next day or something, I hadn't texted until the evening or something.
And I just got psycho messages.
She was fuming, absolutely fuming.
Where's my message?
How are you doing?
How was your day?
Nice bum, ex.
And I was like, oh, I'm really sorry.
Sorry I didn't realize that you felt like that.
Some girls don't like to be texted too much.
You don't want to crowd them out or whatever.
And she was like, you don't really mean that.
That's bullshit.
Again, really intense.
And then, so she went from that to then two days later when I was trying to sort of reverse that
and trying to be nice and text a bit more.
And then she played the mental health card and said that in this moment,
she thinks it's not a good idea to date anybody.
I'm very sorry.
So I just said, oh, absolutely no worries.
And if you'd like to chat one day, not as dating, let me know.
And then she started posting status updates of her doing fun stuff.
Fun things and rollerblading and stuff like this.
I don't know.
It was all very conflicting information.
Yeah, sounds like it.
I just, again, removed that one from my phone.
And that's when you have these moments when you think afterwards that, you know,
am I in the lost property basket?
You know what I mean?
I thought, is it just, is it only the nutters are left on hinge?
Is that it?
I have had that thought a few times.
All the non-nutters are not on hinge, right?
Because they're all taken.
That's what I thought.
Do you really think that?
No, but you know, after a date's like that, you do question sometimes.
But no, I've met plenty of nice people.
You mentioned earlier, you said, I think something like, oh,
I should probably just get on with it because a lot of your friends are married
and they have kids and they have houses and you chose to do life a little bit
differently.
So I'm wondering, is there some sort of like social or family pressure or
something that's giving you this feeling of you should just get on with it?
Of course.
Like we all have that, right?
Even though some of us might say that we don't, of course there is that there,
isn't there?
But you know, it's not the main driver.
Also, like I said, I do like, I think I like to be in a relationship and I do
want to be with someone, I think.
So it's a mixture.
Do you think you're dating differently because of your age and career and
because you've just come out of a long relationship?
I mean, compared to 10 years ago was like the last, let's say your first year,
All Intents and Purposes, right?
It was a decade ago was the last time you were really on the dating market and
you were in your twenties and now you're in your late thirties.
Yeah, probably a touch more serious, a touch more filter, right?
I mean, when I first started dating, I thought I'll allow myself to like date
a few like sort of young hot girls or whatever, you know what I mean?
Just to have some fun.
And I did think that I would give myself that permission.
But I'm already sort of not bothered about that.
You know, I've got to have a few more things going on than that.
I don't know if I can realize that.
So, you know, a bit more potential of something developing.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I'm probably a bit more serious, I guess.
I think the last question I want to ask you is, do you have any advice or
words of wisdom you want to share with other people who are also in their
late thirties and dating?
Maybe.
So I've probably mentioned it already.
So like the acceptance, right?
So a lot of people are like, oh, Hinge, you know, I don't like being on a
dating app, you know, and that's sort of holding them back.
Everyone's on a dating app, you've got to get on with it.
Go out, meet as many people as you can, you know, scatter gun it.
Got to learn the rules of the game as well, right?
You've got to learn to be able to do the chat.
That is so and that's so difficult, right?
To do like fun, texty chat is fucking that is hard.
Like in real life, it's much more easy, I think.
So you've got to learn how to chat, right?
And yeah, you've got to learn the rules of the game, I think.
And that's just going to give you so much more success, I think, because you
could fail early on in dates on so many tiny little things if you're just not
doing it according to the right rules of the game.
So yeah, you've got to learn how it works.
Yeah.
So my, I actually had this conversation with my half sister.
She had been very tentative with the whole Hinge thing.
She's much younger.
She's probably like 25, I'd say.
And she'd show me a Hinge profile.
And I just said, I took it to pieces.
I tried to help.
You know, you do need to put a little bit of nice looking photos in there,
right?
You know, you've got to know what the guys are primarily attracted to.
And I know this is my half sister I'm giving this advice to, but she has since
taken it on board and she's now going on Hinge dates and she's really pleased
with it.
So yeah, yeah.
So I just helped her select her photos and just also some jokey answers on the
prompts as well.
Yeah.
I think it just projects like, I don't know, confidence and that you're not
because, you know, some people are a bit tentative and oh, I don't really like
Hinge.
I don't want to be on this dating app or boring, you know, next.
You've got to accept it and make the best of it.
I guess.
Hey, Windham here with a quick note before the credits.
Harry and I have had a lot of fun these last few months making these episodes,
but we've only got two episodes left this season and we want to know what do
you think?
What have you liked?
What are you missing?
Is the context relevant?
Do you want to season two and what could we explore?
Please leave us your questions, comments, suggestions, slide into our DMs on
Instagram, write us an email, use the form on the website.
It's a 21st century.
I'm sure you can reach us if you want to and we are very much looking forward to
hearing from you.
Thanks.
Dating Log is recorded and hosted by me, Wyndham Juneau.
It is produced by Harry Dark.
Our artwork is in collaboration with Esme Hemming Studio.
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