Picture this. The journey ahead starts here together
and together we can build a brighter future.
You are listening to Illuminating Hope, a podcast
of Hope House. Welcome back to Illuminating Hope,
a podcast of Hope House. I'm Tina Johnson. Before
we begin, today's episode includes discussion
of fixation and unwanted pursuit. Please listen
in a way that feels safe for you. Also before
we begin, I want to be very clear about the purpose
of this series, understanding the different type,
of stalking is not about excusing or sympathizing
with abusive behavior. This information exists
so survivors can better recognize patterns, strengthen
safety planning, and trust their instincts. There
is never an excuse for stalking. Responsibility
always lies with the person choosing the behavior,
never the survivor. I want to challenge cultural
narratives that normalize obsession by naming
a myth. Our culture often confuses persistence
with romance and obsession with love. Today we're
talking about the intimacy -seeking stalker,
a type of stalking that is frequently misunderstood
and dangerously romanticized. So what is intimacy
-seeking stalking? Intimacy -seeking stalking.
often arises from a deep loneliness and a lack
of close emotional connection. In these cases,
the victim is usually a stranger or maybe a casual
acquaintance, someone the stalker believes they
are meant to be with. A key distinction in the
intimacy -seeking stalker is not about mutual
interest. It's about a one -sided desire that
totally ignores consent. There is a delusion
versus reality. component. In many cases, intimacy
seeking stalking is fueled by delusional beliefs,
such as believing a relationship already exists
when it does not. This can include delusions.
The stalker is convinced the victim secretly
loves them, but I want to pause and set a clear
boundary. These delusions may help explain the
belief that the victim secretly loves them, but
it does not excuse the behavior. Harm is still
harmful, regardless of intent. Why does this
behavior continue? The initial motivation is
the desire for that emotional connection and
intimacy component. But the stalking continues
because of that internal gratification the stalker
feels. The belief that they are deeply connected
to another person, even without consent. important
pause. The relationship exists only in the stalker's
mind, but the fear it causes is very real. I
am going to attempt to explain this type of stalking
and what it can look like without giving a how
-to any recognition. Intimacy -seeking stalking
may include repeated attempts at contact, gifts,
messages, or showing up uninvited, often framed
as as affection or destiny. When boundaries are
set, they are ignored or reinterpreted as a part
of this fictitious, made -up love story. In the
stalker's mind, this type of stalking can escalate
quickly and be very dangerous, especially when
reality challenges fantasy. If someone insists
on a relationship you have not agreed to, This
is not flattering, it's frightening. So to give
clarity and validation to survivors, you are
not responsible for managing someone else's feelings,
loneliness, or beliefs. Consent is required for
connection, always, 100 % of the time. Naming
this behavior clearly matters because it helps
survivors stop questioning themselves and start
prioritizing safety. In our next step, We'll
talk about the incompetent suitor stalker, a
type that's often minimized as societally awkward,
but can still cause real harm. If you or someone
you know is experiencing stalking, support is
available through your local police department,
domestic violence organizations like Hope House,
or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1 -800 -799 -SAFE. Thank you for listening to
Illuminating Hope, a podcast of Hope House.