WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.839 Picture this. The journey ahead starts here together 00:00:04.839 --> 00:00:07.839 and together we can build a brighter future. 00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:13.019 You are listening to Illuminating Hope, a podcast 00:00:13.019 --> 00:00:21.379 of Hope House. Welcome back to Illuminating Hope, 00:00:21.500 --> 00:00:25.820 a podcast of Hope House. I'm Tina Johnson. Before 00:00:25.820 --> 00:00:28.620 we begin, I want to share that today's episode 00:00:28.620 --> 00:00:32.159 includes discussion of stalking behaviors and 00:00:32.159 --> 00:00:35.619 retaliation -based harm. Please listen in a way 00:00:35.619 --> 00:00:39.460 that feels safe for you and take breaks if needed. 00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:42.460 Also, before we begin, I want to be very clear 00:00:42.460 --> 00:00:45.820 about the purpose of this series. Understanding 00:00:45.820 --> 00:00:49.159 the different types of stalking is not about 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:53.719 excusing or sympathizing with abusive behavior. 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:56.439 The information exists, so is survival. Survivors 00:00:56.439 --> 00:00:59.820 can better recognize patterns, strengthen safety 00:00:59.820 --> 00:01:03.079 planning, and trust their instincts. There is 00:01:03.079 --> 00:01:06.079 never an excuse for stalking. Responsibility 00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:09.879 always lies with the person choosing the behavior, 00:01:10.299 --> 00:01:13.819 never the survivor. In our last episode, we talked 00:01:13.819 --> 00:01:16.719 about the rejected stalker. That's someone who's 00:01:16.719 --> 00:01:20.099 driven by the end of a close relationship. Today, 00:01:20.340 --> 00:01:23.319 we're talking about a very different type, the 00:01:23.319 --> 00:01:26.359 resentful stalker. This form of stalking isn't 00:01:26.359 --> 00:01:30.439 about wanting connection. It's more about a payback. 00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.000 So what is resentful stalking? A clear definition 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:38.000 is resentful stalking arises when a person believes 00:01:38.000 --> 00:02:03.540 they have been mistreated, humiliated, What's 00:02:03.540 --> 00:02:06.379 important to understand is that the injustice 00:02:06.379 --> 00:02:11.189 the stalker feels may be real to them. but that 00:02:11.189 --> 00:02:14.389 does not make their behavior justified. Stalking 00:02:14.389 --> 00:02:18.569 is a choice, but untreated can intensify fixation, 00:02:18.849 --> 00:02:22.669 suspicion, and blame. Unlike rejected stalking, 00:02:22.750 --> 00:02:26.509 which can be emotionally conflicted, resentful 00:02:26.509 --> 00:02:31.189 stalking is often very focused. The goal is revenge. 00:02:31.409 --> 00:02:35.349 The reward is power, control, and instilling 00:02:35.349 --> 00:02:38.210 fear. Something to remember, for the resentful 00:02:38.210 --> 00:02:41.710 stalker, inducing fear becomes a way to feel 00:02:41.710 --> 00:02:45.069 strong, righteous, and in control. The justified 00:02:45.069 --> 00:02:48.689 victim's narrative recognizes manipulation and 00:02:48.689 --> 00:02:51.909 minimization. Resentful stalkers often present 00:02:51.909 --> 00:02:55.590 themselves as victims who are simply fighting 00:02:55.590 --> 00:02:59.090 back when the truth is they are seeking to gain 00:02:59.090 --> 00:03:02.629 and maintain power and control. They may frame 00:03:02.629 --> 00:03:05.229 their behavior by standing up to an oppressive 00:03:05.229 --> 00:03:08.770 person, system, or organization, but account 00:03:08.680 --> 00:03:11.939 accountability matters. Feeling wrong does not 00:03:11.939 --> 00:03:15.860 give anyone permission to intimidate, monitor, 00:03:16.080 --> 00:03:19.939 or terrorize another person. So what can rejected 00:03:19.939 --> 00:03:22.960 stalking look like? This type of stalking may 00:03:22.960 --> 00:03:27.139 include repeated complaints, monitoring, harassment, 00:03:27.400 --> 00:03:30.539 or attempts to publicly shame the victim. The 00:03:30.539 --> 00:03:34.580 behavior escalates because fear reinforces the 00:03:34.580 --> 00:03:37.780 stalker's sense of power. Just a quick validation 00:03:37.900 --> 00:03:40.860 listeners, especially if you are a victim of 00:03:40.860 --> 00:03:43.439 this type of stalking. If someone is making you 00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:47.740 afraid in the name of justice, this is not justice. 00:03:47.939 --> 00:03:52.219 This is abuse. I want to empower you if you're 00:03:52.219 --> 00:03:55.599 experiencing this type of behavior. Trust your 00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:58.379 instincts. You do not have to prove someone's 00:03:58.379 --> 00:04:02.139 version of the event is wrong in order to deserve 00:04:02.139 --> 00:04:05.419 safety. In our next episode, we'll talk about 00:04:05.419 --> 00:04:09.400 the intimacy -seeking stalker. This type of stalker 00:04:09.400 --> 00:04:13.379 is the most often misunderstood and dangerously 00:04:13.379 --> 00:04:17.100 romanticized. Persistence is not love when it 00:04:17.100 --> 00:04:21.180 ignores consent. The intimacy seeking stalker 00:04:21.180 --> 00:04:24.959 mistakes fixation for connection and fantasy 00:04:24.959 --> 00:04:28.220 for reality. Let's talk about why this behavior 00:04:28.220 --> 00:04:32.560 is dangerous and never harmless. If you or someone 00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:36.560 you know is experiencing stalking support is 00:04:36.329 --> 00:04:39.009 available through your local police department, 00:04:39.449 --> 00:04:41.810 domestic violence organizations like Hope House, 00:04:42.129 --> 00:04:45.449 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 00:04:45.449 --> 00:04:50.470 1 -800 -799 -SAFE. Thank you for listening to 00:04:50.470 --> 00:04:53.810 Illuminating Hope, a podcast of Hope House.