Welcome to Living in the Matrix. I'm Jonathan and I'm left of center.
And I'm Rich and I tend to lean a little bit more to the right.
But the bottom line is, is together we try to look for the balance
of what it means to be human in today's world.
Welcome to Living in the Matrix, everyone.
I'm Jonathan. This is my co-host, Rich. Say hello, Rich.
Everybody great to be back.
Friday afternoon. It's March. It's Women's Month.
Right. Let's go. Right.
Happy to have Audrey Johns as a guest on today's podcast.
Really looking forward to it.
Thanks so much for having me, guys.
I'm actually wearing my long matrix sweater today.
I'm themed out to be on the podcast.
That's awesome.
I it's more Trinity, but, you know, whatever you whatever you want.
OK, so I'm going to start there and say, have you ever seen The Matrix?
Yes. OK, good.
So you are an official member.
Who what character are you in the movie?
Who are you?
Who do you resonate with the most?
I mean, we all want to be Trinity because she's gorgeous
and she's a strong woman.
But no, I mean, I think I'm
I think I'm Neo, you know, I'm
I'm stumbling through.
I'm I don't know what the hell is going on,
but I'm going to keep pushing forward and somehow throughout this, you know,
I don't know. I feel like and I know as women,
we're not supposed to talk ourselves up, but I feel like I'm
at least attempting to be a badass.
So I guess that would be it.
We're awesome. Awesome.
So why don't we start with you have a ridiculously amazing
weight loss journey that you've kind of turned into this
helping other people.
Why don't you give us sort of a summary to intro our audience
so that they can understand your work and why you chose this journey?
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
So I I lost my job in the big housing crisis.
What? 14 years ago, 15 years ago, I was a brand new mommy.
I was horribly overweight.
I was close to 300 pounds and I'm like five foot three.
So I'm really unhealthy, unable to play with my kid,
unable to move comfortably, horrible self-esteem.
And I wanted to teach myself how to cook.
The last gift my mother had passed away, the last gift
she gave me was a cookbook.
And I thought, well, I'm going to I'm just going to cook from it.
I'm just going to teach myself how to cook through this cookbook.
And it was Nigella Lawson's How to Be a Domestic Goddess.
And I ended up learning that I love to cook.
And I continued my journey at this point.
The Internet was still kind of a baby, kind of like how podcasting is right now.
So good on you guys for having a podcast.
And I found some clean eating websites and books and clean
eating wasn't really a thing at the time.
You know, I don't even think it had that name.
And I had read that diet cokes were really bad for you.
And diet cokes were my thing.
And so I thought, well, I'll try it for one week.
You know, what's the worst that could happen?
I didn't change anything else about my diet, but I lost 10 pounds in one week
just by giving up diet sodas.
Right.
Just like, boom.
That's obvious.
Yeah.
Isn't that amazing?
And I love to tell that story because so many people are hooked on it.
I'm like, honestly, I'd rather one of my readers drink a real Coca-Cola.
It's just hold yourself accountable for the calories.
Audrey, what you did is you called your own bluff and gave yourself an opportunity
to learn something new.
That's what most people don't understand is weight shift journeys
begin with giving yourself credibility and opportunity.
You gave yourself the idea that what if I just didn't do this for a week?
And that fasting that, that you separated yourself from that diet coke,
which was probably something you had regular.
And most people don't do that.
They don't separate themselves enough to get themselves new opportunities.
So I love that you did that.
Yeah.
And it kind of opened up my mind and I thought, well, there's more to this.
And so then I slowly started removing the, you know, lean cuisines and the,
and given lean cuisines, they're trying to be better now, but it was just all crap.
And I started removing all of these really unhealthy things from my diet
and I started losing weight so fast.
It was just falling off of me.
It was so easy.
Let me ask you a question about that from your perspective, because I know
the quality of food is important to what you're going to talk about.
Is the diet industry world filled with crap?
Yes.
100%.
Of course.
And I almost, and I'm so glad I'm getting this opportunity to talk about it because
I don't want to be part of the weight loss industry.
I want to be like, I don't know the black sheep of it or, you know, the disruptor,
because it's, it's horribly unhealthy.
It's money driven.
It it's horrible for self-esteem, for mental health.
It's just, and I love one of my greatest analogies and I know I'm skipping ahead,
but one of my greatest analogies, and I know I'm talking to two men,
but I'm sure there's plenty of women here.
The last five pounds is probably just boob weight.
I mean, honestly, just filling yourself like the last five pounds.
So many people will lose a hundred pounds.
And then they're so fixated that I can't lose these last five pounds.
And I'm like, can you just take a step back and realize what you've done?
And instead of celebrating your success and being proud of yourself, you're
fixating on five more pounds.
Just stop your body's done.
You're doing great.
Let's start building some muscles now.
One of our favorite books is called letting go.
And it's a whole different kind of story, but we definitely recognize that getting
detached from those things.
You're living in the moment.
You're doing the things that you should be doing instead of focusing too much on
the outcomes.
Right.
And so I love that concept.
And that's the reason why I was so excited to have you on when I was, you
know, Jonathan, I get lots of suggestions.
We have lots of guests who suggest other folks.
And when I saw, you know, this idea of lose weight by eating, I'm thinking, okay,
this is already outside of the status quo.
How do you lose weight by eating?
It seems like the antithesis.
How?
And like I said before, we've had people who they could be, you know,
Psychonauts doing psychedelics and going outside that box.
It could be just somebody who's trying to get rid of big pharma, you know, and
eat good food and take care of yourself with diet and looking at your blood type
and taking supplements to help that instead of relying on big pharma.
Right.
So I love how we've kind of segued into this idea of you're that black sheep.
But we love this because this is where real kinds of learnings come into.
And we're talking about there's a lot of also biohacks and nutritional hacks that
are actually not healthy that are just out there on Twitter.
Right.
And they're like, hey, take this or do that.
And sometimes they could be counterproductive.
Right.
So help us understand maybe more about, well, maybe continue on your journey, but
I'd love to figure out what are the main components of your diet that really made
a difference because I've been trying to lose weight myself and I've had a hard
time getting beyond a certain plateau myself.
So I'd love to hear, you know, your steps or a little bit more of your journey.
Well, what I found when I removed the diet sodas and stopped eating the
processed foods, I found that I was actually eating more, more food because
those little lean cuisines are just like nothing.
I had been maybe eating a thousand calories a day, starving myself and gaining weight.
I found I was actually eating more food.
It was still a low amount of calories, but when you're having mostly
fruits and vegetables are really not that many calories.
I found that I was just eating more and that's kind of where lose weight by eating comes into.
I found foods that naturally boost your metabolism, that naturally turn off your
hunger receptors, which is why we're still hungry after we eat things is because we're
not getting our body what it means.
What's that?
Well, essentially eating is essentially a dopamine hit.
I think about this all the time because eating is not just getting full, although I'm,
my body is attracted to being full, like overstuffed and, uh, but it's a dopamine hit.
It is basic core level.
It's your bot.
You want some flavor or compensation for something.
And that's the part is it's one of the easiest coping mechanisms there is,
is to just eat because it tastes good.
That's the fact sugar tastes good.
I agree.
And interestingly enough, the more sugar you eat, the more sugar you crave, the more sugar
you eat, the more carbs you crave.
And then, you know, they're all interchangeable, but I love food and I didn't want to give up flavor.
And so I started creating these recipes and they took off.
And if you go to the lose weight by eating websites, just really easy, just type in lose
weight by eating, you will find things on there like a low calorie protein packed shamrock
shake right now, because that's what people want.
You know, they want the junk food, but can we make it just as tasty and healthier and
not just low calorie, but healthier.
And I have this analogy for years.
I've been trying to make a really low calorie, healthy onion ring and I can't do it.
I, I can do it, but it's not as good as the original.
So here's my, my recommendation, have the fricking onion rings and then move on.
Like once in a while, you have to give your body what you really want and just forgive
yourself for it.
And even if you're on a diet, like don't punish yourself because you had an onion ring.
Don't skip your next meal.
Don't say, I'm going to start again, again on Friday or again on Monday, which I really
want to come back to because I think I've figured out the secret to weight loss and
that's part of it.
But it's that just have the foods that you want, but try to have them healthier.
And if I can't make them healthier than once in a while splurge and that's okay.
100% believe in those.
Yeah.
Especially like even when you're doing keto, people that are doing really like intermittent
fasting or keto to have a cheat day or a cheat weekend, you know, dive in because you're
doing hard things throughout the week and then make that happen.
And that's, this is all part of life.
I mean, it could be when you meditate, right?
People get frustrated when they're trying to meditate and they get distracted.
And it's like, oh, it's like, no, any meditation is better than not meditating at all.
Right.
And so let it go.
Right.
And then just kind of go onto the next one.
So awesome.
Well, we would love to follow your progress on any other kinds of food that we really crave
like tater tots.
Maybe you can make a better version of tater tots instead of an onion ring.
So looking forward to that.
I think I can.
I've done french fries.
I've done hash browns.
I welcome the challenge.
Let's try it.
I have the weight loss secret for you.
You're going to screw up, but it's what you do after.
Like you are human.
And I have talked to big, huge stars in the weight loss world, like Bob Harper from biggest
loser about this.
It is part of the journey.
You will screw up.
You'll have the onion rings.
You'll go to crumble cookie like I totally did yesterday.
You will screw up.
It's what you do after.
It's not punishing yourself.
It's never, ever, ever saying I'm going to start again on Monday because that is when
you fail.
And so the secret to weight loss is you're going to screw up.
It's part of the journey.
Keep going.
And I've kind of found that that's part of life too.
Like you're going to screw up and it's not when you mess up that.
That's not what defines you.
It's it's what you how you grow from it.
And and that's kind of how I feel like, you know, I've I've taken the which pill is it
the the blue pill, the red pill.
I feel like I've taken the red pill and I now know this truth of life that it's I feel
like I've I've learned something.
We are going to screw up.
We are human.
It's what we do after.
So that's the biggest message I can bring to everyone today.
OK, so let me take it back to the beginning because I want to set this up for our listeners.
You are obviously not overweight by any means if you're watching this.
You are overweight by any means if you're watching on YouTube.
You are a beautiful woman, but your journey sort of starts from when you were 170 pounds
and 270.
270.
Yes.
So so my my dad was obese and it's interesting.
I've looked back and said, what was the mindset?
Going through your life at that time that got you in a space where you were 270.
I was I had very low self-esteem.
I was in an abusive relationship.
Food was my comfort.
And I kind of feel like.
When a lot of women in my generation and in generations before me have been put on diets
by their parents and whether they told us we were on a diet or or didn't like my mother
didn't I found the books in her room.
It's kind of a you're kind of rebelling against your parents even still in adulthood.
Like you hurt me so bad with that.
And I know that wasn't your intention.
I know your intentions were good.
But telling me I'm not good enough when I'm a size six in high school and given.
Yes I was heavier than everyone else in high school at a size six.
I'm a size six today and half of the women hearing this would be like damn you go girl.
So not accepting me for who I was as a young girl I think really messed me up.
And I've been doing a lot of therapy to get past all of that.
So I think it was a combination of still rebelling.
Abusive relationship.
Not knowing how to eat.
Like nobody ever taught me how to eat.
Nobody ever taught me this is a healthier option or hey it's fine to have the treat
once in a while but let's eat healthier.
What was your diet like growing up?
Oh man my mom god lover could not cook.
It was it was we were Italian family so there were a lot of carbs.
Yeah.
But it was you know it was a lot of fast food.
Really it came down to convenience food.
So it was fast food.
It was frozen meals.
It was shake and bake and I helped.
It was stove top stuffing.
It was convenience foods because she didn't know how to cook because nobody ever taught
her how to cook which is just baffling to me coming from an Italian family.
So yeah.
Yeah.
That was my basic diet and it was unsurprising that that's what I brought to myself in in
my adulthood and I feel like that's a real missing piece.
Our kids are almost never taught how to eat and how to cook in school and if they are
you know that's such a small amount of time and they're there with their friends and they're
you know they're distracted and having fun which is great but it's our job as parents
or as guardians or as aunts and uncles or even as big sisters and big brothers to just
if nothing else be a good example but even more so have your kids sit at your kitchen
island while you cook dinner.
They kind of passively learn about food.
I tell my kids how to cook.
They love it.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
And this country hasn't done anybody any favors right.
You look at like the Crisco and the seed oils and all of the kinds of automated processed
things that we've inculcated right.
You go back into the 20s and 30s and 40s people were eating you know probably pasture raised
you know grains or a feed you know proteins and just cooking food.
My dad drank raw milk when he was you know younger and so the idea of organic wasn't
even probably thought about because everything was organic by default and then you've got
how does America support Cargill and Monsanto and do mass produce things and cut corners
right.
What I heard about on Robert F. Kennedy he talked about glyphosate and I don't know
if you know what glyphosate is but it's part of Roundup and so it's something that really
is a toxin to our system.
So imagine a big corn field and in the past people used to use hand sprays manual labor
would go in and take out all the weeds with Roundup and they'd spray it locally on the
actual weed.
Now what they do is they make genetically modified corn that is not affected by Roundup
and they just spray the whole freaking you know farm and that means it goes into everything
you eat your cereal everything and so that's just one component of glyphosate let alone
you know eat corn flakes for the rest of your life is what people are suggesting right.
And these are terrible things and I think I think I think we're starting to see the
tide turn a little bit but we need more voices like yours.
Audrey to kind of let me tell on this rich because I think what I want to call out is
you reached a point in your life where you took the red pill.
What made you take the red pill because I think a big part of the show is helping people
break out of the matrix and I think ultimately that matrix is largely stories we tell ourselves
and hear that control us.
How did you break out.
I think I wanted to take my life back.
I had a brand new baby my my abuser kind of flipped the switch when I was when I was pregnant
they abusers typically wait until they have you locked into something into a home or a
child and and I'm not saying you know he was hitting me while I was pregnant that's not
what I mean but I think I started to see it and I needed to get out of it and I was trying
to find my own voice because I was at that point being suppressed and I I I may have
a different answer for you in another year after more therapy because I reserve the right
to change my answer but I think that's what it was.
That's awesome.
So essentially are you saying you felt like you got pushed out and is no I feel like I
pulled myself out.
Okay good.
I feel like I you know was like wanted to be a phoenix rising from the ashes but instead
I just grabbed myself by the hair and pulled myself out slowly painfully but I did it.
You remember sort of the catalyst for like that moment when you kind of shifted or was
it a gradual process.
I think it was a gradual process but one thing that really hits me is I started losing the
weight slowly and some mommies at the you know the dance studio we brought our little
babies to basically we're noticing the weight loss because they'd see me once a week and
they asked me you know what are you doing and I had a hard time articulating it because
nobody knew what clean eating was at the time and I said well I'll just start a website
and I'll just throw up what I'm eating on there and we'll just go from there.
Well in that moment I had I had had a hand surgery and so I was typing one handed and
my my ex was very anti me on this website.
He wanted me to be off the website.
He didn't want me to be doing this.
I couldn't have my own thing.
It was my exit strategy and I think I just kind of was like no I finally have something
for me and I need to do this and this is important for me and I think I kind of pushed through
and I think I think that's what got me out of the relationship eventually to slowly slowly
but yeah I think it was gradual but I think it was when I when I received some resistance
is when I kind of fought back.
Good good.
I'm glad to hear that because I have four daughters.
So I always I like I have a feminine heart to some respect because I I have had women
around me my entire life and I realized that journey of stepping out and owning yourself
outside of a man is is one of the most important journeys I think a woman can ever make and
you captured your own heart.
You said hey I want to fight for me and I'm glad you did that because more women need
to do that.
More women need to say fuck you abuser.
You need to get the fuck out.
I'm going to say right now I have friends who have serious abuse in their relationship.
My current wife was abused for 20 years.
It's time for women to stand up and say no more.
Like let's do a me too movement on that.
Starting today.
That would be perfect.
Hell yeah.
I would love that.
And when I think you're helping women find that that's what I'm trying to say is you
are you're helping women find that courage.
So thank you.
Thank you.
And it's not something I talk about very often.
I'm actually surprised that I've I'm being so vulnerable with all of you but I genuinely
want to help people out there because you can go to the website and you can read my
story but what can I bring to this podcast that's new and different.
And you know I don't want to throw my my my daughter's dad under the bus too much.
I mean that's just that's not fair to her.
But yeah it's not OK to be held down to be suppressed.
It's not OK to you know dress the way he wants you to dress and to talk to only the people
that you're allowed to talk to.
And you can't be friends with those people.
So if you're in a relationship where you're being told how to dress you're being told
where to work you're being told what to cook.
I mean unless it's his birthday then by all means you know do the right thing.
But you know and if you're being told you can't be friends with people or if you were
moved out of state to get away from your your support system you need to take a step back
and think about what's really happening and maybe go talk to a therapist about it just
so that you can get a different perspective.
At what point so you were heavy and you started coming out of that for our listeners who are
struggling with that period of life.
It's that that period of making the courageous step not just even out of abuse but to eat
well.
How did you do that.
You know I think it's so important that you you talked about food and you talked about
abuse because I did have a bad relationship with food almost an abusive relationship with
food and the way I came out of it was I I learned how to eat healthier.
I kept moving towards I and as I had noted I had had a hand surgery.
I had been in this horrible car accident.
I had a nerve condition that I had gotten from my hand surgeries.
It's called CRPS.
It's very similar to fibromyalgia and my hip was messed up and my back was messed up.
I could not work out.
I could not everybody says the only way you can lose weight is workout.
Working out is so great for your health and it can help you tone up as you lose weight
but you don't need it to lose weight.
You lose weight in the kitchen and I lost 150 pounds in 11 months without working out
just by eating healthy.
That was it.
I stopped having the fake foods.
No more fake sugars.
So no more diet cokes.
No more crystal light.
No more you know the little little blue and the little pink packets that you put in in
your coffee.
None of that crap.
No processed foods.
So basically I would I tell people if you can't pronounce something on an ingredient
label it's probably not safe and I even tell people stop looking at the nutrition label
first look at the ingredients first.
Yes the nutrition label is important but it's the ingredients that count.
Tell us tell our listeners why.
Well because your body doesn't know what to do with chemicals.
We are organic.
We're organic and if you give your body say for instance some of those drinks some of
you know the really bad protein powders some of and I'm not saying all protein powders
are bad but they have fillers in them.
You know some of the yogurts the really highly processed yogurts have fillers in them.
They thicken them up.
Do you really think your body can differentiate where no no we're not supposed to thicken
you up.
We're only supposed to thicken the yogurt up.
So either one your body doesn't know what to do with it or two your body goes okay I'm
going to thicken you up.
So it's if you eat all natural foods your body knows what to do with it and very often
you'll find that with these fake sugars and I've actually gotten almost in trouble a few
times for some of my articles on my website I've actually taken one down because these
fake sugars have got the lobbyists behind them and let's just be honest if you have
a lobbyist behind you let's just take a step back and think follow the money.
Yeah.
So yeah it really came down to just eating healthy and and back to the last five pounds.
I really wanted to be 120 pounds and I never got there and at some point I just said I'm
really happy with the weight loss I've had and did I have body dysmorphia for a long
time.
Yes.
You know I would look in the in the mirror and I still saw a heavy person but I felt
better and I was eating healthier and my skin cleared up and I was able to play with my
daughter and eventually after maybe a year the body is dysmorphia kind of lifted and
the confidence slowly started coming back and I've for the most part I have kept off
the hundred and fifty pounds for the last 14 years.
I did have a hysterectomy a few years ago and that kind of pushed me into early menopause
and you know so I did gain like five pounds and on when you're five three five pounds
looks like 20 so you know I've had my ups and downs but in this moment.
But they're not crippling.
No no and in this moment I'm trying to you know you think about you look back at a picture
of yourself when you thought you were heavy and you're like damn if only I could be that
weight again I'm trying to put my you know put those glasses on and think what am I going
to think 20 years from now when I'm obsessing about five pounds instead of just living my
life and so I'm trying to help people and help myself through the process of shedding
that body dysmorphia saying you know and I'm sorry Rich I know you brought up a plateau
but depending on how much weight you have to lose maybe it's not a plateau maybe you're
done if it's if it's 50 pounds that's one thing but if it's 10 maybe it's time to take
a step back and think am I obsessing about this because I want to fit into the same jeans
I wore 20 years ago and that's just unreasonable or am I doing this because my doctor's telling
me to and if your doctor's telling you to then go for it but that's where I am right
now and I've had an amazing journey through all of it so it's it's it's still going.
Audrey for our listeners because this is your experience and share as much or as little
as you want what does body dysmorphia feel like?
You look in the mirror and you're still heavy you look in the mirror and and and you still
feel heavy still to this day I do have issues with it where I will you know I'll feel heavy
the jeans still fit the same but I feel bad I feel like I look bad in my partner will
be like are you freaking crazy you know like we walk to the grocery store and like yeah
he's like men break their necks to stare at you but I don't see that but I see what I
when I look in the mirror yeah instead of saying my body is strong I carried a child
I'm 44 years old and I'm still a size six instead of celebrating that I nitpick and
I feel like a lot of women do that I'm sure a lot of men do that I don't think it's ever
gonna end but I think we need to talk about it and talk about why it's a problem and and
maybe our generation can't fix it but maybe we can crack open something to where the next
generations can stop picking their bodies apart because we're just meat sacks like why
do we care what our meat sack looks like you know we're Audrey let me stop you for a second
and say this is a man's problem okay we put it on you it's not you guys you guys perpetuate
the problem that we give you which is we want you to look a certain way and then you spend
your entire lives trying to fulfill that it's we are the catalyst for that problem so we
need to stand up and say and the sad part is is that because I have four girls we create
the very cultures which propagate taking advantage of women at the expense of our children because
it ultimately affects our children yeah thank you for saying that because I really I do
have some amazing men in my life who are very evolved but I don't think I've ever heard
that so thank you that's I standing ovation thank you for saying that because it needs
to be said and and but as women we are also my mother it was all about find a good man
and get married find a good man and get married and it we are teaching this to our daughters
whether we're using the words or not that we are supposed to be hot like that is where
a woman's value is is and I am sorry and I work in kitchens but it all comes down to
is she fuckable and that is not where my value comes from my value comes from I'm working
hard I'm a good person I'm trying to evolve I'm trying to grow I'm working on myself because
looks are fleeting and if it's one thing and it's not okay for men to value women like
that but it's even so much worse for women to value to see all of their value in just
their looks because it's fleeting and I think that's why we are getting so much fillers
and Botox not that there's anything wrong with that not that I've had it but again I
reserve the right to change my mind later but the beauty filters and all of this stuff
we are expected to look a certain way and then we perpetuate it to our daughters if
nothing else with really bad behavior like using beauty filters yeah yeah yeah it's it's
here's the thing if men would wake up and take responsibility for that it would release
their daughters that's the one you have to really work on the daughters to finding the
value of beauty is in the elegance of the human being and not in their fuckability yes
totally yeah and that's where we need a shift in culture away from beauty as glorification
and beauty as elegance we've lost elegance in this country a lot and and I and I think
about that I think about all the time of I'm raising four women in the world I want to
be an example and I realized man we we perpetuate a lot of those problems we create them we
need to take responsibility for that because we perpetuate that cycle and women buy into
that cycle because that's when yeah yeah it's a vicious cycle I'm so glad we're talking
about this and I really hope that your male listeners take stock and I really hope on
my end the women listeners take stock and nobody's perfect you know and and I don't
think any of us had the the answer right if there was just some you know we could just
flip a switch and make it all better we would but we need to start having this conversation
like if it's not us what are we gonna do we're gonna put it on our kids and on their generation
that's not fair to them so we need to start having this conversation of how can men be
better how can women be better how can we support each other in that and how can we
start teaching the next generations to be kinder to themselves and it's I love that
so here's how ironic it is is people are now robbing makeup stores I know that's how they
are my daughter and I were at the mall yesterday having our girls night she wanted to go into
Sephora because she told me these stories and so we went into Sephora only because of
the story of how the kids are like messing with the products it's like it's it's a whole
thing it's no they're bank robbing the products because they're ridiculously expensive that
yeah that too oh wow they're glamour so we've been talking about a lot of things that are
like super important but they're gonna take almost like reeducation right it's gonna take
a lot of digging in there's a lot of issues that we're facing in this culture and this
in this country whether it's gun violence or whether it's other types of things you
know the antidepressant kind of thing going on there's a lot of ways to kind of go against
that and to try to dig in and you know we can probably have an entire episode in a few
months talking about kind of the progress we've made but one of the things I think now
it's probably a good time to start talking about some of the practical day-to-day things
that you can do and including like some of the great menu items that you might throw
down what are some of the ways that you can transition from this kind of theoretical way
of becoming more independent of not looking at yourself with that body dysmorphia and
doing those practical things where when you think about it the things we do on a day-to-day
basis with consistency those actually put something in our brain that actually help
and when you actually start I've seen articles that talk about when people grow their own
food and they cut that food and they prepare it with their own hands there's something
that happens in the brain that really makes a dynamic there so I'd love to hear on a more
practical standpoint about as you you know go your day-to-day what do you have it in
the kitchen what are some of these recipes what are some of the foods that you're choosing
and how did you choose them to kind of help be that kind of day-to-day diet that's helping
you know people lose weight yeah and I and I love that that you want to bring that all
together and and I do really want to bring self-care and self-love and eating healthy
together I feel like it's all one for me when it comes to creating a healthy meal I try
to really lean on 50% vegetables if you can do them raw even better more nutrients and
why why raw as opposed to cooked or steamed more nutrients in them yes you'll get more
nutrients okay that's right and and keep in mind that these vegetables and fruits this
is what turns off your hunger receptors so if you eat a burger and an hour later you're
hungry or if you eat some Chinese food which I love and then an hour later you're hungry
it's because you haven't turned off your hunger receptors it's not really because you're
necessarily hungry you have a belly full of food but you haven't fed your body what it
needs and so by giving yourself vegetables and listen if you don't like salads and if
you just can't eat raw foods by all means you know grill up some veggies go for it but
try to do 50% vegetables 25% lean meats or or lean protein ideally so if you're vegan
you know some tofu some chickpeas and then 25% healthy grains so we're looking at quinoa
we're looking at brown rice we're looking at healthy foods now I get that there's going
to be some people going no no no that I'm not going to be able to lose weight on that
because keto says I can't well keep in mind and and this this might you guys might not
like this but keto is just Atkins repackaged yeah and Dr. Atkins died of a heart attack
so yeah just because you can lose weight on something does not mean that it is healthy
for you lifestyle yeah and we want lifestyle changes I mean it stresses the body you're
literally forcing your body into ketosis where it's relying on ketones as a source of energy
and not the glycogen stores that come up from eating carbohydrates in the fat and quite
frankly if you've got hepatitis you're typically also a ketosis that's my understanding so
that's why you take the strips for it so and people also fall back on I can have cheese
and bacon and all the you know as long as you know carbs there I could I can go to dirty
keto and that's not a good answer as well right no I think it's important that's what
you're saying is you're putting your body in a stress by doing that it's not a sustainable
yeah I had my best friends are full keto been for as long as it is and they swear by it
so let's take a step back and and I really want to concentrate on that word you just
use Jonathan because you just said stress and we all know there is it's stressing out
your body is not good stressing out your body creates disease so can you lose weight can
you lose weight eating a cardboard box yeah probably should you know does that mean it's
healthy no what I want to try to encourage people to do is to find healthier ways that
you can sustain this now if you're diabetic I get it you know maybe you need a little
bit more lean protein and maybe a little bit less of the the starchy carbs but have more
vegetables then it's just I'll put out a recipe for a salad and it's nothing but greens some
chopped up vegetables you know a really healthy salad dressing that's maybe you know just
lemon juice and a few herbs and a little bit of Dijon mustard and people will be like oh
that's not healthy there's too many carbs there's literally not one crouton in there
there's no rice there's not even any quinoa in there and people are just so hyper focused
on carbs and it kind of reminds me of when people were so hyper focused about fat back
in the 90s and everything free yes you know and and and I'll bring up the the gluten free
fad and my partner is gluten intolerant and so for there's a lot of people who realize
oh this is why I have tummy issues because I'm celiac so there are some good things that
came out of the whole gluten free fad but it's just another low carb bullshit your brain
needs carbs to function that is the fuel for your brain and if you want to be smart and
if you want to be alert and still working here at three o'clock on a Friday when I would
usually be done you know you need to feed your body what it what it needs and here I
am I had a banana and a handful of wallets walnuts for breakfast and I had a grilled
cheese sandwich with real bread for lunch and I am maintaining my weight loss or I'm
maintaining my weight you can have these things just make sure they're all natural so your
body knows how to process them that's what it really comes down to.
Audrey this is touching on something that's I think what I've been trying to drive to
myself is it's not just the food you eat it's the message you eat it with you and I both
grew up in and there's the Italian grandmother who's 97 years old and drinking smoking a
cigarette with a glass of wine and having a little pasta and she's 25 30 pounds weight
it's the love that has to be it because food is a message and when you weaponize it and
say oh my god I really want this burger but if I eat it I'm a piece of shit you're killing
the message you're eating garbage and it's the message that you tell yourself with the
food and I think that's what I love about what you're doing is you're creating ways
for people to enjoy foods again because it's not just complete absence of food yes we do
need to cut our calories but you can eat healthy and enjoy it too.
Absolutely and I love since we're Italian there's a great quote by Sophia Loren who
I love so much I named my daughter after her where she says I would rather eat pasta than
be a size zero.
Can we name a more beautiful Italian woman as ever lived?
No stunning and she has a I would assume at least from this quote has a healthy relationship
with food and you know maybe as we get older if we find that we have a hard time with carbs
maybe we don't eat carbs for dinner if we start looking at food as as if it's fuel we
should be eating the bulk of our calories and our carbs if we're trying to lose weight
earlier in the day breakfast and lunch and then maybe we have a lighter dinner because
it's like I love to use the analogy of a car would you take your car on a road trip on
empty and then once you get to your location then fill it up because that's what we do
to our bodies every single day when we don't eat breakfast don't eat lunch and then have
1500 calories through the drive-through at dinner it's just we need to start looking
at food like this is fuel we don't feel bad when we put fuel in our car unless the gas
prices are really high but that's a different kind of feeling bad why are why is why are
calories a bad thing why are why is the word calorie just so negative because if you just
kind of rethink that it's just an easy control mechanism.
The reality is Audrey it's an easy control mechanism it's something that men can say
this is what you need in order to look what we will like that's yeah it's about the counting
yeah it's the counting yeah it's a simple level x equals y right um I've heard the thing
that with breakfast lunch and dinner like you mentioned you're supposed to eat breakfast
like a king and lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper those are the that's the term
that I've heard I love that I've never heard that I love that yeah so again because you're
doing your activity you're going to burn those bigger calories off you know throughout the
day the calories I mean obviously we're talking about calories we have to it's an actual it's
okay I have the same problem yeah but if you remove it from the impetus of value then you
can have a conversation around it you say okay now let's talk about calories because
they're no longer my my dignity is not dependent upon it you know will you like me am I enough
and then we can say okay what kind of calories because that was probably the most important
important thing that I ever learned is my calories do matter I was consistently 25 to
30 pounds overweight kind of I always said a 250 mark and then it was 255 and then it's
like 257 you know it's like that it just creeps up and then I realized holy shit I am eating
a full breakfast an early lunch a late big snack and I was probably consuming 35 hundred
calories a day because I love steak I love meats and I'm like I love food I do and I'm
like you can what if I cut back a little bit or what if you what if you don't have to cut
back in portion size but you just make them healthier so what if you cook your steak without
a ton of olive oil you know what if you have more vegetables instead of or or maybe what
if you bake your fries or air fry your fries instead of frying them you know there are
healthier ways to do it and you know in anyone going to my website it's gonna be like oh
my god bitch everything says low calorie and that's because that's what resonates with
people and and I am part I have a problem with the word calorie too and I think it goes
back to like zero calorie this and zero calorie that those are like what free foods they're
not but you can create these foods or you can eat these foods that are in a healthier
you can eat them healthier so for instance today I posted on Facebook because a lot of
people are you know fasting for lent in in my group and so I put out a shrimp fajitas
and the way I make fajitas is it's a whole hell of a lot of vegetables like vegetables
vegetables and some more vegetables and then definitely the protein but the marinade or
the olive oil is seriously cut back to just what you need and then boosting the flavor
with zero calorie items Jesus I just said it see it's a problem even for me but zero
calorie items like you know garlic or herbs and spices but back to the fajitas you guys
had asked me you know what are these foods that can naturally boost metabolism and there
are things that you find in your produce aisle they are peppers are the best best best metabolism
booster obviously the spicier the better but bell peppers are great for boosting metabolism
you're also going wrong I didn't know that so good raw yeah so good raw well I left the
dial right and I used raw onions and the sole right and it's a as an as a like a topper
right it's perfect or chili whatever yeah yeah that's why I like Mexican Mexican food
can do a lot with flavor that's very yeah yeah so if you add in these metabolism boosting
foods you can have the foods that you want you can have the meals that you want you can
have you know a blueberry cobbler because blueberries naturally boost metabolism let's
just maybe cut out the bottom of it and just do a really yummy topping apples naturally
boost metabolism you know so instead of having a donut for dessert and maybe having an apple
for dessert sounds boring but maybe you bake that apple and then it gets all caramelized
and yummy and hot there are ways that you can take these foods that naturally will increase
your metabolism while turning off your hunger receptors and genuinely just filling you up
and I came out with a I have four cookbooks and when I was writing my second cookbook
Kate Hudson was reading pretty happy it's right over here I had to look at the name
of it and we both had the same publishing house and my agent was like do you know Kate
Hudson I'm like hell no I don't can you introduce me but she's like you guys are both saying
the same thing and it was interesting that she was writing a book about happiness and
I was writing a book about weight loss and we were saying the same thing and here's what
we were saying when you eat food how do you feel not in that moment not in the 10 minutes
it takes you to eat it an hour later or two hours later do you feel lethargic do you have
a headache do you feel just gross like I'm not proud of what I ate food baby yes a Chipotle
food baby did you say food baby food baby just sits in you and they just like a gut
and you just feel it and I know like you said lethargic and you're like oh why did they
do that like a big barbacoa right right or do you feel like you have more energy you
can get through your afternoon you don't need that extra cup of coffee you know how do you
feel not in the moment that you're eating which is important like let's boost everything
with flavor let's make it delicious but how do you feel an hour to two hours later and
if you can think about food that way it's it's the ultimate act of self-love and self-care
so it is maybe it's important I want to stop you there because that is super important
for people to realize is you've got to have the right message about food it's got to feed
you and I think crossing that bridge into you know getting into the practical sides
is it does there are ways you just have to look for them and you've done it so part of
this is not just is it probable or is it possible but no it can be flourishing you enjoy the
way you eat is that fair to say I probably most people would think too much doing it
yeah yeah yeah and I also splurge from time to time like you had mentioned free days we
had crumble cookie last night girls night and before that we hit in and out for the first
time here in Boise we were so excited but I think we're doing free days not cheat days
because that's another thing we do to ourselves right we I just call it a cheat day because
it's really and it is it is not it's a free day that's right yeah thank you it's it's
you know I I'm not gonna have that stuff every single day I'm gonna have it on Thursday night
and with that said because the lines have been two hours long and longer we had dinner
at four o'clock my daughter and I and I know that sounds crazy but there was no line and
it was great and neither of us were hungry the rest of the night and I kind of said like
dude instead of having your after-school snack why don't we have your after-school snack later
tonight if you still want it and she didn't even want it and I didn't feel gross and you
know another healthy thing was we walked around the mall afterwards you know so you can have
these foods that you feel like you're not supposed to and just jump back right back
on the bandwagon the next day you know I'm not waiting again until Monday I have my banana
and my nuts for breakfast so yeah it's it goes back to what you said in the beginning
is you're going to fail to start with that because it gives you a lot of permission to
be a human being in the process like people start out and go you know it's the whole January
first thing and they do the diet change and then Tuesday comes and they fall like you
know it's like okay and they give up yourself those you know those days fail do you know
what percentage fail a psychology today article 89% it's a 19 is that right no I'm sorry
79% fails like a 19% success ratio with with new year's resolutions it's because they're
too dramatic they're too over encompassing and when you don't see the gains immediately
that you want you bail on it right and that's a terrible way of looking at things yeah no
matter what it is yeah and I just I started a lose weight by eating podcast and I'm starting
another one next week because you know one is never enough for me goes back to all my
eating but I talked about setting realistic goals last week and it kind of comes back
the fact that you were talking about new year's resolutions because my analogy for this was
it was years ago they were at Times Square and some woman was standing there and Anderson
Cooper shoved a mic in her face and said what's your new year's resolution and she said I'm
going to do yoga every single day and I was screaming at the screen like are you crazy
that's not reasonable and when we have these huge goals even if she's a yoga instructor
she's not going to be able to do that and so I was talking about you know set realistic
goals people say you know I want to lose five pounds this week no your goal should be one
pound this week one you can always beat your goals yeah but let's try to meet them because
when we don't meet them we fall off and by the way for any why do you think people create
bad goals I think I almost wonder it's not their goal no it's other people's goals yes
and they want to rush through it and I get that I want to rush through a lot of things
too but keep in mind that one pound a week weight loss is 52 pounds loss in a year and
two pounds just do the math is 104 pounds loss in a year so smaller goals can always
be beat and they're more achievable and you're so much more likely to stick to them so instead
of this woman saying I'm going to do yoga every single day I love to give the I love
to tell people instead of saying I'm gonna work out five days this week say I'm gonna
work out three hours this week and then you can chunk it up into little pieces and if
you get to Saturday and you realize I haven't worked out you can go for a long bike ride
you can take a hike with the kids you can walk the dog you can make up that time but
when you when you say I'm gonna do something every single day it just leaves too much room
for failure and then naturally for some reason as humans when we fail we just want to give
up when failure you know should be a learning opportunity but because people have such an
issue yeah it always is we just don't give ourselves permission and make it a learning
opportunity yeah yeah so yeah it's just I'm very did you want to quit as you did that
first year you lost how much weight in how much time I lost 150 pounds in 11 months
I know it's crazy I don't remember wanting to quit but I also think you follow a simple
program I know when you like if you if you take yourself off sugar you'll probably lose
10 pounds like that'll happen automatically because your body's not in a constant stress
state so sugar puts your body in stress it creates a constant dopamine that's why it's
it's not that it's bad for you it's just it's not what your body needs all the time and
you remove that like at what point did you want to quit and what did you how did you
stay on the path and was it just a gradual or was it like all like this it was all like
this and as I you fail but you keep going so I don't know if this is my idea or if I
got it from someone else so if I stole your idea I'm please totally said to me but I started
doing an eight week average okay so instead of because because for women just naturally
and even after my hysterectomy you will still have one bad week either that you don't lose
weight or when you've you know trimmed down as much as I have that you gain weight it's
just gonna happen and I've seen that with men as well it's not quite as drastic but
we are gonna have good weeks we're gonna have bad weeks so instead of basing it all off
of this week this week this week this week write down everything for eight weeks add
it all up divide that by eight and that is your eight week average and almost always
when I have coached people in weight loss and they wanted to quit and I give them their
eight week average they go oh my god that's amazing because I feel like we're we just
we're still fixated here too it's like careful oh gosh you're gonna get on the scale on Monday
you know or like and you're giving yourself some freedom to actually make these and what's
also interesting is you'll notice it right if you've lost a few pounds you're you'll
feel it right there's either either your pants or whatever feel a little bit better or there's
a definite feel you know and so I love how what I'm hearing a lot of Audrey is you've
done this a great ability to it's like you're repurposing so you're taking it's take this
food and divvy it up in this way and it's going to be delicious and it's going to be
high metabolic and it's going to be there I mean just mix it up and you do the same
thing with this eight weeks and it's the idea of looking at things in a different perspective
and and not putting these swim lanes in the way and in these limiters to you know to expanding
what you need to do I love it thanks thanks and and for anyone who is who's just saying
you know I don't know what to do with these foods she's mentioning every single week I
put out sorry every single week I put out a free meal plan it's completely free if you
go to lose weight by eating calm it's always on the front page and I never delete them
so say for instance you look at this week's and you're like no I I don't I don't like
that you can just scroll down and find another one they're always free there's always links
to all of the recipes I I hate the weight loss industry and I genuinely think weight
loss shouldn't cost you anything and so I I can't change it but I can give it away for
free so anyone who wants to try it go to lose weight by eating calm and check it out and
even maybe listen I hope you guys are okay with me plugging but the loose weight by eating
podcast I thought I was gonna be talking about my new podcast when we came on here so I'd
love to come back but since we're talking about weight loss check out the lose weight
by eating podcast because in it I'm still trying to learn and I'm still trying to evolve
and what I'm trying to do is open up the conversation of you can take self-love and self-care and
healthy eating and merge them together because if you if you're saying I love my body it's
so great but are you really loving your body if you're always putting junk in it the best
way to love your body is to give your body what it needs and you know this is coming
from a woman who went to in and out and crumble cookie last night so you know but there's
balance in all of that and and you know with healthy eating you'll naturally lose weight
and so I'm trying to find this balance and stumbling through it and I've gotten a really
great response from it so I would love for people who are interested in hearing more
on that to listen and to maybe even help me because I know I don't have all the answers
and it's a journey for me as well so even after 14 years after I've lost my weight and
maintained it I'm still struggling and trying to find the next step and and this time I
have the platform where I can say come along with me so I would love for you guys to listen
and give me your feedback I even tell people on it I welcome the hate mail but I would
really rather we just open up a conversation.
I'm going to ask you to do something a little subversive but and you don't have to because
I can always cut this out but if you were to have the weight loss industry in front
of you as an audience what would you say to them?
I would tell them that they are abusers they are they're abusing us they're taking our
money telling us we're ugly and not and they're abusing us this is an abusive relationship
this is not okay and if this was a relationship like a we're dating relationship we'd be
out of it in a heartbeat it's it's it's shitty and um and I know there's going to be some
people who who say well you're part of it and you're part of the problem and and in
the past perhaps I have been part of the problem and I am not perfect but I am trying to find
a way to to call the bullshit so I appreciate that that that question again and in a year
and more therapy I may have a more profound response but that's what I've done.
That is the whole point is we don't invite people here who have all the answers we invite
people here who are authentic about the journey that they're in that's it we don't expect
perfect answers we share wisdom and I think you have a lot of wisdom and that's really
what we want to do here is help people because what they will see is someone who did lose
150 pounds in a year in other words that's possible like I remember watching there was
a Netflix documentary about 15 years ago about juicing where the guy lost his weight and
he went across the United States I kept fat sick and nearly dead and it it changed my
life because all of a sudden I realized I can change my relationship with food I don't
have to be addicted to it and that's partly what you're giving our audience is an awareness
that you don't have to live addicted to food there are ways out of that so absolutely are
thank you yeah what question for the weekend is what would you tell somebody who might
be struggling right now or is going into the weekend what's one one one word of advice
or one phrase you would tell them going into the weekend because it could be daunting sometimes
right going into the weekend with you know social events and stuff like that that you
tell them that you'd be encouraging you're gonna screw up it's what you do after yeah
that's that's it's just screwing up as part of the journey it's what you do after that's
the best thing I've got for today screwing up is part of the journey it's what you do
after that's perfect I will leave so my final question for you is because I know rich has
been going practical which is awesome what is your favorite dish oh god like what do
you make for yourself for your birthday for my birthday what would I do the thing is is
Italian what do you do I love it's the problem it's like I want it all um wow so it used
to be it's gotta be on the website what would you cook for yourself on your website oh boy
either fajitas okay and I would allow myself as much cheese and guacamole as I wanted um
or lasagna lasagna and I have a really healthy amazing lasagna on the site that um my full
Italian uncle loves what's that yeah how do you make lasagna healthy you pack it with
healthy vegetables okay you still use the um I like to use Italian sausage I use turkey
Italian sausage and I use vegetables that kind of mimic meat like um mushrooms and zucchini
and I add lots of onions in there so I'm adding lots of flavor but I like to lean on the flavor
of sausage and I know this is a horrible thing as an Italian woman to say but I hate ricotta
cheese and I use marscapone oh that's more expensive but my god that's good yeah it's
so good but like you can like mix it in with the filling and it's just so fantastic and
I always make my own sauce so making your own sauce really boosts the flavor if you
don't do that you could absolutely like cook it down a little bit for an hour in a sauce
pot with a little bit more garlic you know put some onions in in the pot tiny tiny little
bit of olive oil cook them down a little bit a little bit of garlic just for as long as
you can smell it then um add in maybe a teaspoon or two of Italian seasoning again just for
as just as soon as you can smell it we're talking about in a minute and then add in
the store-bought ideally organic because it won't have fillings or crap in it um sauce
and then just cook that down for 30 minutes to an hour and that will be a really decent
sauce and then make that you know or just make your own my sauce is like 30 calories
it's amazing and it's it's just a take on my grandmother's um I'm getting very hungry
super I'm sorry it's almost dinner time my wife and my my son over at this cool wood
fired pizza place we love and gonna have some yummy uh beets and some olives too and
that's the best way nice nice and John what are you eating tonight uh I don't know we
haven't made any plans I'll probably we'll probably go down to the steakhouse or something
something close so gotcha uh Audrey this has been fantastic this has been an amazing show
I didn't expect it to go this way and it did uh it's this has been one of special I appreciate
your heart in uh fighting for yourself because I think that's all I want for my for my daughters
and daughters out there is the capacity to fight for yourself and await is a big part
of the journey so thank you for being transparent you really opened up I really appreciate that
of giving us that gift for um to really listen to what does it mean to step up and take the
healing or the healthy journey that we all can take and and I can say personally there's
a lot of flavors out there that are very healthy so there's a lot of room for improvements
mostly just getting off of processed foods and we're gonna start that journey so um so
all of our listeners this has been another incredible episode have a great weekend please
uh comment review love your uh comments we've been getting a lot lately and uh if you have
anybody you'd like to recommend please let us know um we're also on uh instagram you
can follow us there so much love everybody have a great weekend
bye