Welcome to Living in the Matrix. I'm Jonathan and I'm left of center.
And I'm Rich and I tend to lean a little bit more to the right.
But the bottom line is, is together we try to look for the balance
of what it means to be human in today's world.
All right, let's get started. And this is a welcome everybody.
This is Living in the Matrix. I'm Jonathan. Rich is out of town.
I'm sorry, he's at a business meeting today.
So unfortunately, he will not be able to join us.
But today we have Tracy Lit. Tracy, welcome. It's a pleasure to have you on.
Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Yeah. So you and I have been, well, actually I say you've been sharing content for quite a long time.
And what stood out to me is your love for women.
Where did that come from? Like, what's your background in terms of brought you to this stage?
Because I love it.
Yeah. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful that we,
the universe connected us through Instagram, right?
Like, and that's important for everyone to recognize.
It's like all of these technological mediums have just opened
the ability to have broader conversations.
So the inspiration for women really first came through me as a woman
and learning about myself, how masculine I was,
how keep my head down, push through I was.
My inspiration for women is because I'm one of three girls on the middle of my two sisters.
I have three daughters.
So I live in a woman's world.
And my mother, who unfortunately passed when I was 24,
she, towards the end of her life was a women's empowerment speaker and a spiritual leader.
And I also come from a really, really long line of wise Jewish Yiddish women of the village,
like old, old, old school would sit around the fire.
And there is a magic inside of women.
And too many women have been, that magic has been dulled or pushed down,
or maybe there was a total lack of awareness of the depth and scope of power.
So I'm here to say it loud.
So let me ask you this question from a female perspective or feminine empowered perspective.
What do you think is the real power of being feminine?
So what I love about what you just asked is let's separate it because
the power of feminine energy is actually not specific to the gender of being a woman.
I agree. I agree.
Right? So fun.
Yes, I agree.
So, and that's part of like, I can already feel like you and I are just going to go there.
Oh yeah.
So the feminine energy component,
there is a soft, grounded, womb space kind of rooted feeling in the power of feminine energy.
It's not like the old school lens of empowerment was like, hear me roar.
Oh, you know, and that's like, that's, that's over.
It's this, right.
It's this sense of wholeness because you and I are just like,
I love wholeness because you and I know,
and everyone who is listening to your beautiful show knows that we are energy
and we come from something much greater than us.
And when, and that means that inherently we're whole, right?
We don't play the, I'm not enough game.
Once you wake up and you recognize the truth of what you are.
So when you come from this wholeness, there's this soft grounded power
that is not about assertiveness and aggressiveness.
It's about receivership and knowing and allowance and openness.
And whether you're, whatever your gender is, that feminine energy is in you.
And it is available to you.
So what do you, what will you say is that energy?
Cause it's distinctly feminine.
What I've been really wrestling with.
So I've been studying the human element.
I'm very, I, I study neuroscience, literature, theology, in terms of the human makeup.
And I, especially my background is Christianity.
So we come, we have sort of half Jewish background in our history.
And there's this distinction of the split between man and a woman in,
in historical Hebrew literature.
What I'm wrestling with right now is, and the reason why I agreed with you is because
what I think is every human being encompasses both the masculine and feminine,
and there's potential of both in each.
It's not exclusive.
Like I'm not exclusively male.
I am born predominantly bent towards masculinity, but the real journey is discovering my femininity,
which is the both hand.
Men tend to focus on the mind.
Women tend to focus on the heart.
And when both of those are present, I think we become much more powerful, grounded human beings.
What's your thoughts on that?
We do.
Well, you touched on, you know, the, the, the, the two things that are essential to your magnetism,
to the representation of your wholeness, to your highest frequency, which we know is the
contributing factor to the ripple effect of the human being.
And that is the brain and the heart being in coherence.
So you said the mind and the heart, right?
And so much of how we've been raised and the culture, we're working on it, but we're not
there yet with the masses, the culture and the society that we're in further affirms that
separation, right?
Man is man, women, women is woman.
So even being here and going, okay, wait a second, let's literally separate the concept
of gender out.
And to your brilliant point go, okay, we are energy.
We are 99.999% energy.
Yep.
Right.
So we have to start there because then that opens the mind to, to, to be willing to be
aware that, that that means there are different energies available to me inside of me.
I might not have noticed it, right?
What does consciousness mean?
It means your state or quality of your awareness.
So now into your consciousness enters, whoa, so there's feminine energy and there's masculine
energy and it's not about an over course correction.
It's not about saying one side and this is me.
It's about a beautiful allowance, an agility, a flexibility to enjoy and play in both and
recognize the interplay of both.
And in one being you have this gorgeous feminine energy that is like goddess receivership,
hearts desire, you know, that, that sense in your body, like my tears are coming into
my eyes already.
And it's like, my heart is open and this is my desire and this is what I am available
to deserve and receive.
And you open that up and that's where the ease is.
And that's where the flow is.
And you send it out and you're in this knowing, ah, and then the masculine energy in you
comes in to be a devotee and a deliverer of that feminine energy side.
And that's when we make it move.
And that's when the masculine energy shows up to like, get the shit done and take the
action.
And those things in marriage is like, ah, right?
Yes, absolutely.
My body is like, yes.
No, I want you to keep going because I think that's what most people are looking for is
they're looking for that congruence.
I think that's the, that's sort of been the historical norm is let's keep them separated
when in actuality, every human being wants, needs that connection of themselves.
Like as a masculine man, I spent the last 30 years learning how to drop into my heart.
And men, men stay away from their heart where women flourish in their heart.
And I think that's the journey that is we shift from like, I believe in the age of
Aquarius, we're shifting from a masculine age to a feminine age where what men are afraid
of is that women are going to take over.
Okay.
Because women are a lot more powerful than we are.
We're stronger, but they're more powerful because you're energetic.
You're much more.
Because here's where the real energy is.
This isn't the real energy.
The real energy is down here.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're probably feeling it.
Oh, I'm like, ah, I'm like so with you.
I want to interject something here.
So no, I love it.
So we're saying is, and I speak about this often, you know, we're all too heady.
We've all been, all of the trauma responses and adaptive behaviors all live in over
functioning, over analyzing, overthinking, right?
We get way too cognitive about everything.
Here's what I want us to know just in this moment about this gorgeous thing that exists
in between your ears.
This is the tool.
This is something that gets directed.
This is not a leader by any stretch of the imagination.
And I'm asking everyone to please give less abdication of your power to this thing.
That is your mind.
Use it.
And where do we lead from?
To your beautiful point, we lead from here.
We lead from the heart.
We lead from the body and we lead from our higher selves that are not here in this physical
avatar and human form.
This part of us that is connected, this part of us that is connected to that, which is
so much bigger than us that like, nobody's going to explain it to you because they can't.
Like, I believe the day we can really explain consciousness in its entirety is the day we
implode.
Like, there's just no, there's no world.
It's infinite.
It's literally infinite.
And it's vast and it's massive and there's so many things to learn about it.
So just being able to recognize, okay, wait a second, right?
So in real service of all of you beautiful listeners with us, this mind, allow it to
take the back seat.
Stop letting it lead because it's creating an interference in your ability to reopen
your heart because even though you are spot on women, right?
We are heart centered, right?
One of the things I observe that I work on with every woman that trusts us to guide her
is actually unarmoring it because although it is natural and it is our gift and that's
the guidance system, what has happened to and for us over space and time has created
so much protection and we armor the heart and we arm it a little more and we arm it
a little more and a little more.
And then before you know it, you've disassociated from your heart and from your body and now
you're living all in your head and it is a very, very challenging place to live.
And it is a place that you cannot be the creator from.
If you're living in your head, you're automatically living in a state of survival and you cannot
be in a state of creation while you're in a state of survival.
Yeah, so I'm learning how, I mean, this is a lifelong journey.
It started for me 30 years ago, but I'm actually very tangibly learning like that distinctive
difference between being in your head.
Like when you're in your head, it's very much of a protective mechanism, but I'm learning
to drop into my heart.
And guess what happens?
My first center is not what's protected, but what's the experience.
And that's a much richer place to live.
That's the value.
And so many guys are afraid of dropping into their heart.
I was one of them because if I do, I'm not going to be able to do this thing up here,
which is be the protector, be the, even the savior complex.
Like men like to take care of women and there's so much more power in the heart.
There's so much more power in the both end.
Like I don't have to live up here constantly.
I can drop in because here I can connect.
Here's the thing that I think in terms of relationships I'm learning is when you drop
into the heart and I start connecting to my wife at the heart level, it's an entirely
different conversation, an entirely different conversation.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Yes.
I'm having the same experience with my husband as he also is on his journey now as well.
And it's a different conversation because it's not an actual like conversation in the
way we usually think about it's a felt sense.
Yes.
It's emotion.
It is actual connection, not existing in a house together, talking about logistics,
coexisting ships in the night.
It is vulnerability.
It is like the emotion is here because the heart is so sad.
That's exactly the opposite of protection though.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yes.
That protective mechanism is what we're bent towards.
And I think men want to live in that space.
It's just we're so rooted in this masculine dynamic that won't even allow us.
Like I, my mentor that I started working with three, uh, 30 years ago,
he used to speak to men.
He wrote a book called, uh, healing the masculine soul back in the 1980s.
And it was a best seller and he would go around to conferences and he would say,
how many of you men are comfortable with your heart?
Like how many of you know your dad loved you on average?
One man would raise their hand.
If you go into a woman's room and say, how many of your moms loved you,
you get a hundred women raise their hand.
It's a very different dynamic.
And I think as we shift this age, men need to start learning not to take the back seat.
Cause I don't think what happens is it just flips like women take over.
I think it's this women are much more both and than men are.
Yes.
And what the future looks like is not the present reversed, but much more holistic
together because the women don't want to lead from where there are a few options.
When you go so hyper masculine, but I think the vast majority of women want a co-partnership.
Like let's do it together.
Not I'm going to rule you.
What would you say to that?
Oh, this is massive.
I'm feeling so many beautiful emotions right now.
I'm in the midst of teaching our first ever mind magic group for men right now.
Nice.
Okay.
We are in week three.
And what you're saying is exactly why I was like, wait a second,
you know, the consciousness revolution is here.
We had our huge gala and in honor of that, I said for the first time ever in five years
of me serving our work, my body is saying men.
And I'm in the middle of that and I'm watching these men
open and be vulnerable and beautiful and break that drip process.
That's why I don't want to leave it in here.
Cause what you were describing was the drip process.
When you sit in a space of men and one of 50, let's say says, I knew my father loved me.
That's a result of the drip process.
And I talk about that in my book, Worthy Human, because what happens is until we're
now here in the consciousness revolution, right in the day and age we live in,
where we're both here having this dialogue, our great, great grandfathers dripped on our
great grandfathers who dripped on the grandfathers who dripped on the fathers who dripped on you and
the men that are here right now. And that drip process was unconscious, unintentional.
It came from such a depth of limitation that was unconscious limitation, such great depression,
such actual hardship, such need for keep your head down.
Don't feel it. Be the provider, be the hunter.
They didn't have that choice. That's what was, we don't live in that world.
We are literally having a stunning conversation articulating what evolution is,
what shifting paradigms is, and it happens at the level of the individuals.
So it spreads to the group that spreads to the collective.
So of course that one hand goes up, but then we have that seminar today.
And out of the 50, we'll have 25 that say, I knew my father loved me.
And the goal is, is that the next seminar in this 50 example, all 50 say, I knew my father loved me.
Right? So it's so stunning what you're saying, because everyone, as we said in the beginning,
has this capacity. It lives within us because we all are energy and we all have a similar biological
wiring system to be available to open our hearts and to dramatically shift these paradigms of
limitation, these identities, it's like a cage of your identity, and shift our relationship with fear
and perception of, well, then what will people think or how will this go?
And working at the level of our nervous system, which is a massive part of our work and critical
in general, because we can have beautiful conversations and the heart could start to open,
but if our nervous system doesn't feel safe, allowing that heart to open, it will become
protective again, and it will push us back into the behaviors that kept the heart protected.
Well, I think that's what most, and I can't speak for women. I can speak for my daughters,
maybe a little bit, but I can speak for men in terms of, most men avoid the heart because
it's a black hole. Like it feels like a black hole and they miss out on the rich experience.
We like living in our mind because it's easier, I think, for men to live in fight or flight mode
than it is to be open, to stay open, because then we can get hurt because we suck it.
And that was the dive for me is I've been on this journey for 30 years trying to dive into my heart.
And the funny thing is, is that I feel like I'm just consciously understanding what it means
to be here. I was walking my dog every night. I walk my dog and that's my hour of real
intense dropping into my heart and trying to be, it's what I say, I go visit the unified field.
Like, what is it like to sit in a space of love continuously for an hour for myself and just
live and enjoy? And it creates this rich experience. But what I'm noticing is that
a week ago, I was walking my dog and all of a sudden I had this very conscious experience of
drop. And I'm living completely from here. And I go, okay, I get why guys freak out because
here it's all experience. It's rich, it's colorful, it's beautiful, it's worthy, it's dynamic.
That freaks me out. And I wanted so badly to go right back up into my head and it was hard to stay
there. But that's where the rich human experience is. And I think that's what most guys miss that
women have in spades is there's that rich relational dynamic that comes from living down here
where you can connect to people because you're connecting at an energetic level that is much
more powerful than this cranium thing we have up here.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And this is so good because ultimately, right, we're living in the
matrix. That's this beautiful show we're on, right? So the matrix is this lack, fear and
separation perpetuation, right? In this low level third dimension of consciousness. And in that lack,
fear and separation not only have most beings, but we're talking about men right now,
mastered the adaptive behavior of control. Because control is like optimal safety. It's a lie,
nonetheless, but it feels… It is a lie.
Yes, it is a lie, but it feels true. And I really appreciate that because even for me as a gender
woman, a woman as my gender, my adaptive behavior was control, right? And I used to believe that I
had to control everything to be loved. And I was super masculine. And I had a lot of trauma. And
I had to keep my head down and just don't feel, don't feel, don't feel because you're not
feeling, don't feel, don't feel because you got shit to do. Push through, right? So to recognize
what you're saying and the beauty of your experience, this is why it's so beautiful to
recognize how to work with your nervous system as a primary ability to open your heart and elevate
your consciousness and your highest self because it feels scary, like you said, to go from here
into your body simply because when you're in your body and you're in your heart, it's calling for
a level of trust that feels so unfamiliar to you that instantly your system's like, and let's go
back up here and control that because we know it, we know how to do it, we have the playbook for it.
So it feels so much safer, and I put in air quotes, but it's not. It's just because
you haven't given your system enough experience in that coherence, in that trust.
Tell me what's coming through because you're driving. No, totally. I am completely on board
with you because that is the journey. And again, this is not just masculine. Every human being
fights both and stories, but it's, here's what I've learned from the neuroscience is your amygdala
is exactly like AI. It's only what's programmed, and it dominates you when you're in Delta Brain,
when you're in that frequency, you're just fixed, you're stuck, and your brain can't learn where
all the rich experience that transforms your amygdala is down here. So in order to make that
journey, you have to drop in because this provides the experience that reframes what the amygdala is
fighting against. If you never go down there, you never get that experience.
A thousand percent, right? And that's why it's all of the work that we do and that I'm sure you've
been doing takes you below your beta and your high beta into your alpha and your theta and your
Delta waves. And the thing about your amygdala, so your thalamus is what first screens how emergent
this moment is to then send that signal to your amygdala like this is not that big of a deal or
you're about to die. So to tie back in that nervous system component, the essentialism
is because the more flexible your nervous system becomes, the better of a read it gives your
thalamus so that not everything is going to kill you, right? Says your amygdala, right? So it's
just so beautiful. And this is also why I love doing this work and having conversations like this,
because it's simply allowing listeners, audiences, communities to understand this whole, like how does
this whole thing work? You know what I'm saying? Like a base level, how do you human better? How do
you energy better? How do you, what do you, which levers do you get to pull? Understanding how you
became who you are, understanding your program, understanding how to unbecome it. So you could
understand how to become the next level of yourself. And it is so exciting to me and what we need to be
bringing forth in every environment and every corporation and every academic institution,
not like who needs physics unless you're going to be a scientist, who needs like, you know, all of
these other grades that were measured on that keep us in this limitation. We need this education.
Absolutely. So let me shift gears a little bit because you, we've talked a lot about the masculine
and feminine. I want to go back to you. Where did this journey begin where you sort of found this
purpose in your life? Cause you're, you're completely bought in. You've organized your entire
life around this process. Where did that start?
It's well, it started started when I recognized the depth of my work. And I was like,
I recognize the depth of my worth wounds and my worth issues, which illuminated when I became a
single mother, when my daughter was eight months old, we need to sit on that math, like just
happened. And now I'm a single mother and I'm like, what the hell, whose life is this? Right. And I
had a beautiful dark night of the soul and recognize that I arrived in that position because I was
living in such victimhood. I was living in such, let me squeeze as many round holes into square pegs
as I possibly can. Let me ignore red flags because somewhere in my belief structure, I didn't believe
I was deserve into more or I was capable of more. And even in that, and this is important listeners,
even in that moment, there was still something deeper underneath that, that knew who I was.
Everything that was sitting on top of it was eclipsing it. So that was like the little,
you know, the igniter that you put in the grill before you, it was just like a little fluid that
got put there. Right. And then over time and space, I kind of like, and was aware, but ignored it a
bit, recreated my life all in the masculine. Like I got it done. I got there. So that's the interesting
thing too, that I want to bring to light. You can create success in the masculine. That's not what
we're saying. Like I, you know, I brought up my daughter. I ended up being a VP of human resources.
I bought my own house. I had a car, like all the things, right. And externally it was like, damn
Tracy, you did it, but I didn't feel it. I didn't feel it. My heart wasn't open. It was literally
like head down, go, go, go. Right. So then while I was, go ahead, please interject.
No, I want to interject there really quick is I think the perfect definition of that. I just
finished Elon Musk's biography and the Elon Musk is a perfect example of the hyper masculine that
Elon was very comfortable basically saying, we're going to net, we're going to work 19 hour days for
the next six months. Who's on the train. If you wanted to work for his company, it was like this
head down, zero connection to his heart. You end up creating fantastic things. Tesla is an amazing
company, but it comes at a great cost. And I think that's the, that's, that's the, that's what it
reminded me of you're talking about is that that survival state works. It works to create even great
things in business, but at the end of the day, there's a huge wake that's left behind that.
Huge way. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, so much. I'm like, where do we go next?
And I know we'll go back to my story, but huge wake. And this is also where I'm going to go.
And this is also where the consciousness revolution comes in and the world changing
and the new world we're building because we are learning to prioritize how we feel.
We are learning to redefine success by the measure of how many hours of the day am I spending feeling
the way that I want to feel because that's an effect, a success measure in the new world.
Right. So it's the, your example is so beautiful. And that's where it comes to choice. You can
choose. You can absolutely live in your state of survival and you can accumulate successful things.
And it's also why so many beautiful people and some clients come to me this way too.
I did it. I nailed it. I've got, I sold the business for millions and I, you know, I got
married and all these things happen. And why is it that I feel nothing? Right. And, and why,
why am I still asking if there's more? Because when we're raised in the matrix of everything
lives outside of you and you are driven everything externally, then you perceive that the outside is
what defines the inside. So if I keep hitting it, if I keep nailing it, corner office, Maserati,
big house, gorgeous spouse, great kids, give me a dog, you know, give me a grease vacation,
all these things, then we have been fed the total bullshit lie that that's when you're going to feel
like amazing and your heart's going to open, but it's not. It's only actually further cementing
the armor that you've created. Right. So, and is it an easy journey? Absolutely not to open your
heart. Is it a worthwhile journey? The most worthy journey of your life period, end of story. Because
when you get to your death bed, which is the only truth that there is, you're never going to look
back and regret. I got back into my heart, never, ever, ever. So I'll say that. So back to the story.
So I end up in that position, VP of HR, I'm sitting in that role for about 12 years, and my soul
starts yelling at me like, what are you doing? This is not it. You have so much more to give that
kind of feeling and vibe. And at first it was like, no, I'm going to ignore it. Because I was neck
up and I was super masculine. I was like, nope, I got it. Here we are. And I'm a VP of HR. Like,
isn't this it? Isn't this it, Jonathan? Isn't this what we're supposed to want? I followed all of
the order of operations. And then I finally, after two years of being paralyzed by fear,
listened to that call. And I took the leap into human growth and potential. And when I found
spirituality, human growth and potential, ascension, it was like a wormhole. I went into
this other world and I was like, what is this land? And I was instantly drawn to it.
What happened that kind of catapulted you towards that? Was it the dissonance that kind of pushed
you out? Or was there a moment? Yes. It was the dissonance. It was this like,
this is fine. What I'm imagining is there's a lot of people who are at that space right now. What
would you say to them? Please, please, please trust your intuition. Please, please, please trust.
Then I have to listen to my heart. I know. God damn it. It's so complex. Right. But yeah,
uh-huh. That's the whole point. And that's why once you awaken, you can never go back to sleep.
Right. And that's why it's a journey. You're choosing your actual, let me say this too,
your actual purpose, everyone's, your actual purpose, all of our purpose as spiritual,
energetic beings in this human form experience is to tap in, to heal, to grow and to ascend.
That is your purpose, your passion, totally different story. You know, what you monetize,
your calling, all different. Your purpose as a spiritual, energetic being, having human
experience is to go within and untether and ascend, period. And some of us have that wake-up call
initially through a career lens because we followed that order of operations. And then we land
in these quote jobs or careers. And then you're like, am I going to literally rot away and do
this for the next 40 years of my life and feel the way that I'm feeling?
Well, you can if you don't listen to your heart. That's where most men are stuck. And we just wait
till we're about 55 to have a midlife crisis. And then we go cheat on our wives and buy the second
car, the roadster, whatever it is. Cause we think, guess what? We're trying to feel something. That's
why men cheat is they want to feel something. Cause they've been stuck in this mode for,
30 years or whatever. Yes. And fun facts from a highly conscious lens. What we know is the midlife
crisis isn't the midlife crisis, but isn't it convenient that our society put a gorgeous label
on it? And because everyone just drinks the Kool-Aid with no autonomy and no questioning,
it just becomes midlife crisis. You smack a label on it. You probably go get some Xanax and then you
ride it out for the rest of your life. Right. Come on everybody. Like, come on. But you didn't do
that. It's so insane. Well, I listened at after two years of being paralyzed by fear. And I think
this is very serving to your listeners because it wasn't like, I have a calling. Let's frolic
into this and let's just do it. Right. Not at all. It was on Monday. It was like in my head,
I'm doing this. I know I'm meant for more. I hear you body, we're going to do this. And I started
researching this whole human growth world and found a coaching school. And then on Wednesday,
it was like, Nope, sit down. Who do you think you are? This isn't going to work. Are you nuts?
What are everybody going to think? And I gas break. I played that dance for two entire actual fiscal
years. Okay. And are you still in your role in HR? Yes. Yes. I am like fighting the calling. I am
fighting the call. And it was one evening on a, my husband and I were on, cause I got married when
my daughter was five. Sorry. And I was sitting on a balcony overlooking a beach and it was dark and
he was inside and I was sitting by myself. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to go to the gym. And I
was sitting by myself and kind of like the moment you described when you were walking your dog.
And my mind was totally off because I was just sitting and listening to the waves and seeing an
occasional like white cap in the darkness. And it was so clear. It came from like up here. And it
came from my heart. You're not getting out alive and you can't not go for this. You have you,
like the universe was tapping me. You're here to make a dent in the world and you got to get
out of here to do it. And it was the first time that instead of then going back in my head,
because the mind is untrustworthy and the mind is here to keep you the same. And the mind is
going to feed you thoughts from fear, ego, and past experience. The mind is never going to
consistently be like, Yes, get it amazing. Right. So it's the first time I was so connected to that
heart and that higher self her as soon as I felt that clarity of message. I walked inside, literally
my husband was coming to the balcony to sit with me. I was like, I'll be right back. Don't even talk
to me. Walked inside and messaged the admissions director from that coaching school that was so
patient with me for two years. And I said, take my money, put me in the next cohort. Just take it now.
And that was it. And then four months later, manifested a layoff from that corporate job.
So I didn't have to deal with that because here's the thing about the universe.
When you move, I move, says the universe. And it saw me move and it saw me trust and it saw me
better myself. And it said, I'm going to clear the way. So I'm going to get rid of this job.
And I'm going to give you a runway. And that is literally how I have created everything I've
created up until this point, just forward moving total trust relationship with greater intelligence.
And for anyone listening, it could be God, it could be source, whatever you call it. I don't care.
It's the acknowledgement that there's something so much bigger than us here. And when we trust it,
it gets so much easier and so much more fun. That's what I try. And it's hard to communicate
that space that it's actually safe when you get there. But that's part of the hardest thing.
It's hard to convince someone who's living in their fight or flight mode. They're in total
survival mode. That is like, yeah, that's a really good idea because they're strictly up here. And
what they miss is the whole picture includes this. And then, cause that's where I think men can get
stuck in the picture of it. Cause we want the mind wants really tangible things. But if you're not
connected to your heart, you're not going to feel the feeling that encompasses that journey.
And that's going to be the catapult. And you found that you tapped into that. What made you then
want to help other people? Cause that's really your big frame is you like helping other people.
What drew you to that? That was immediate. That was, you know, it was the helping of other people
that really opened my own Ascension journey because I believe it's my responsibility to be
the proof first, because to your point, right? In order to do what we're doing here, it's our
responsibility as leaders and guides, mentors, healers to create the proof and the evidence
that's going to empower the shift of belief that needs to occur for someone to take a dip in the
pool. Right? So yeah, we have to show them. Yes, we have to show it. We have to, because even,
and here's the thing about the depth and we know this and we're seeing it all over the world in
different depths and measures. Belief is, feels impenetrable. Even if you don't believe in pens,
and I held this pen and I said, this is a pen, look, it's a pen. There is still a part of your
belief structure and your self-protection, which comes out of skepticism that goes, I don't believe
in pens. That's not a pen, even when I'm holding a pen in your face. So it's really important that
we have indisputable evidence because little by little that allows people to go, okay, wait a
second. Right? It's like the very famous Roger Bannister 1954, I believe was the year when he
finally broke the four minute mile. And prior to that, no belief structure, every, every,
you guys, this is how crazy it is and how awesome technology and advancement and evolution is.
Every doctor in the fifties believed in, don't run, if you run too fast, if you run too hard,
your heart will explode. It's not good for you. It's insane. Right? And here comes Roger going,
I'm going to choose not to believe that. And he breaks this famous four minute mile, right? After
no one trying it. And then what happens the day after the day after the day after someone else
is running in at 354 at 352 at 351. That is, that is he was proof. He was the example. It was
indisputable. Look, that guy just beat the four minute mile and his heart didn't explode. He didn't
die. What's possible for me. And that's why I also am very, I'm emphatic about if you're going to lead
this work, if you're going to coach or guide, even in the women that come to me, and now we're
expanding to everyone who wants to get certified, embodiments the game. I'm telling them all the
time, you're the billboard. Don't ask me for an external strategic strategy on how to fill your
program. If you are not the embodiment of what you are teaching, right? It's a non-starter. So
was that catalyst. It was me wanting to help others because I knew I had a gift. Like,
it's not me that's saying this. I firmly believe that I'm the vessel that was tapped
to share it. And that's how I ended up starting to help people and change in the world.
Let me ask you a question because this came up and it's sort of the zeitgeist over the last year is
what effect do you think Barbie had? The Barbie movie became a conversation, sort of this,
almost this ushering in from your perspective, what effect did that movie have on culture?
I loved that movie. But why from your perspective? I'll tell you why.
From my perspective. Why didn't everybody love that movie?
Because in a levity based, and this is the important part, okay, in a kitschy, light, levity
based way. And the reason that's important is because the antidote our biology gave us
to open ourselves is levity, playfulness, silliness, kitschiness, curiousity,
curiosity. Yeah. So the first part of why it was effective was because it was Barbie. It was light.
No one was going in for some intense experience. Right. So right off the bat, right, right, right
off the bat, you're like, oh, okay. And you're open. That openness was critical. And the way it
was done was so beautiful because it in that light way shined a light. It illuminated
what the patriarchy lens and approach has created and what is possible when we come together
differently, when the feminine and the masculine energies play interplay shift, right. That's why
I think it was so effective because we were open, it was light, and it really, really showed in a
digestible way what the patriarchy really is. Well, I think that's so much of historical gender
study is on find the right man and find the right woman and together you create the right partners.
You complete me kind of conversation. Barbie took a completely different spin and says, no, I'm
Barbie's going to be, she's already feminine. She's going to discover her masculine. And guess what?
I'm whole because she didn't end up with Ken at the end. That's correct. Yes. And Ken, his point is
to do the same thing that he's way behind the curve. But that was the brilliance of the story
is it wasn't Ken rescues Barbie. It was Barbie becomes her own hero. Yes. And that's the
point. And I think that feels disempowering to core masculine men. It's like, well, what's my purpose?
And she was able to say, well, your purpose is to join me because wholeness doesn't reside in me
being completed by you. Wholeness comes from me being completed in myself. I have to be comfortable
with myself first and then I become an amazing partner to you. And if we choose to be a partner,
but I don't need you. I work with you. That's the partnership that I think we're waking up to that
Barbie really described is this idea that I don't need you, Ken, but I want to be around you and in
relationship with you, but I don't need you. And I think that was a moment because I have four
daughters and I think about this conversation all the time of how do I treat my daughter?
To begin with this whole sense of self that you don't need a man. You choose to be in relationship
because there's value in it, but you don't need it. And my daughter said to me, I was with them
a couple of weeks ago down in San Luis Obispo and my daughter has always said to me, dad, I don't
know if I want to get married. I don't know if I need to get married. I'm like, that's awesome.
That's okay. It's the convention isn't for you to be the subservient wife. The convention is for you
to be a whole person in yourself because then you become love to the world. I think someone who's
congruent automatically is going to start loving because that wholeness is going to burst forth
with this wonderful fruit called love. And that's what we all want. And you talk a lot about love.
What role does love play in all your teams? What role does love play in all your teams?
Love play in all your teachings. Oh, I want to answer that. And I want to also just
acknowledge what you just said, because it was so beautiful. And we are inept to connect with
anyone else if we are not fully integrated and connected and whole within ourselves.
Anything but that is codependency. And I'm a recovering and unhelpful.
Yeah. Most of us have a percentage of some level of codependency because it's the world in which
we were raised. But that really beautiful acknowledgement, and that's where we're going
from a relational standpoint. It becomes, just like you expressed with your wife and I was
saying about my husband and I, it becomes two beautiful individuals that are whole within
themselves, choosing to thrive and exist and create and appreciate and intimate in life together.
And that's a whole different level of conversation in the household. That's a whole different
vulnerability. That is literally like my daughters are like hashtag couple goals when they see my
husband and I, right? Like that's for the universe. That is relational goals. And it's beautiful. So
I'd acknowledge that. And the answer to where does love come in, in our work everywhere? More love is
tattooed on my arm. I have much love. Mine is much love.
Oh, look at us. The universe knows what it's doing, bringing us together.
Love is everything because love is the truth of what you are.
Yeah. Love is the truth of what we are. We are derived from pure love and pure consciousness
and pure wholeness and oneness. And when you allow yourself to realize, wait a minute,
this isn't something I need to find and then insert in myself, I don't have to try so hard.
The truth of what I am is love. And the only question there is, is then how do I open to more
of that truth and how do I unarmor that beautiful heart to allow it? And then from that space,
you don't have to over effort or anything because everything follows and flows when you allow
yourself to beam the truth of the love that you are. It actually becomes that easy and everything
in your mind wants to fight against what I'm saying because everything in your program is like,
but no, it's hardship and it's struggle and the struggle is real and you got to do this and you
got to work your ass off. No. Open to love. The love of you, the love that is available around you.
Imagining this beautiful, invisible like gold beam shooting from your heart to the heart of
every single person around you, whether you know them or not, you do because you're connected.
That's not mystical either. Like your energetic field is actually there. I've learned how to
control my energy and actually energize a room. And there's almost like this, I can do that kind
of moment when you're like, oh shit, you know, because it's like, there's a power to that energy
that if you are tapping into it and harness it, you're not, you're never controlling it,
but you're harnessing it for good to impact people in a very positive way. That's when it gets
absolutely amazing. Yes. You know what I'm talking about? I see it in you. I know it's, it's, and
that, and that kind of, so it kind of does tell us like a little bit of the beginning of our
conversation, right? That power, right? That feminine power, it's an energy, right? Your
feminine energy power, that's when you walk in a room and it's not because you're the loudest,
right? There's something in the way you just energize that room, your heart is so open,
you are grounded, you are standing there, you walked in and you actually shift the resonance,
you shift the frequency because you are love and you know it and you know how to harness that power
coming right out of this gorgeous and your field, the more coherent you are, the more love you are,
the more potent and like, your energetic field is that, that goes out in circumference around
your physical body. That's why when you're somewhere also, someone could walk in and you feel the
way we're talking right now and you're like, yes, I want to be in this room and you can go into
another room and someone walks in and you're like, oh God, why do I feel unsafe and shitty and I
got to go, right? And she doesn't lie. It doesn't lie. Yeah. No, that's one of the things that when
Rich and I started, we wanted to create an energy where people could flourish. These dialogues are
really with, in that energy space, we want to create a space where people can really get really
bright because there's something to the brightness. There's something to this journey that you've been
on. Like you, you have enough tangible evidence to overwhelm your amygdala. That's what I think most
men don't have. Women have it in spades because they feel dynamically from it. They're much more
emotionally intelligent and I think kind of from the bent, but that's what men miss out on is this
rich energy that comes from that when it's in a safe space. Like the dynamic of Ken and Barbie is
two whole people coming together only magnify that energy. And that's what's missed is usually it's
men like, oh, I can't be subservient. That's what the masculinity says because then I wouldn't be
able to protect. And the woman says, well, I can't trust you. You can't do that. So they never get
together. But if they come together as two whole people energized with a sense of their dignity,
then it becomes a completely different dynamic. And I think that's what I'm beginning to explore
is what happens when you live in that energy and you start sharing it abundantly. Cause I have
enough. I have enough of that energy. I share it wildly. And guess what? The more I share it wildly,
the more that I have. It's like this weird thing, you know, it's like, there's a reason.
Well, because it's infinite. Also love is it is. And it literally there, the truth about abundance
is that that's the truth of what you are. And there is an overflow and an overabundance of energy
available. And as you give it, you receive it and you get fueled by it. And it's this magnificent,
like energetic snowball. And it's magnificent. And something that you just said too, that was so
fabulous and profound. You know, when you have that, the man who doesn't want to allow the woman to,
you know, be more powerful that how you describe that dynamic, the only way when those two do come
together because they do, however, they come together to bond that trauma. They come together
to create an interlocking dependency. And that's what we're moving away from. And the answer to
this then, because in order to become a man who, and this is kind of like this part of the way we
teach and to become a woman who is to evolve your identity, right, and that's what has to happen at
the core. A man evolving his identity into I love to tell, I'm a man who loves to open to my feminine
energy. I'm a man who loves to watch the woman in my life be in their power, right. I'm a man who is
whole and understands that I'm always safe. Understanding that is what allows and opens all
of the women and men and everyone in your life to rise and be held and in actual fact, that's the
best support you can give. Talk about being a provider. We have to lose our great-grandfather's
perspective of providing, and we have to introduce a new paradigm to men of what it means to be the
greatest provider and the greatest supporter in allowing those in your life to shine brighter.
Here's the thing. The men are afraid that as we shift into the age of Aquarius, the feminine age,
it's a decidedly feminine age. We're going to lose control. And that's not what you're saying.
The relationship is you have to deal with your trauma. And trauma is just the moment you decided
you couldn't handle something and go back. And if you deal with that trauma, you lose. Most people
can't get to their positive energy because they're so drowning in negative energy. My mom used to
always call it, my mom was a sexual abuse counselor and she used to always call it a wet blanket that
we wear most of our lives. And most people don't even know that they have a wet blanket to take
off. So I want to ask, how do you work with women, because you primarily work with women,
how do you work with women to help them get over that trauma and work through it? It's getting over
a sense of I have the capacity and self-control to deal with it finally.
Yes. So we do it all inside of mind magic. Mind magic is our IP. It's level one. Before you do
anything with us, you come through mind magic. And the real answer is number one, we teach and
guide a highly conscious approach to transformation and trauma healing. It is not heavy. You are not
broken. Nothing needs to be fixed. We don't allow you to play there because that's like trying to
ascend while you're standing in quicksand. It doesn't work.
It's focusing on the negative.
Okay, the negative. You stay in this perpetual, I got to heal it. I'm not going to do it. I'm
going to heal it. I'm not good enough. That's the lie. We don't even play there. So we're already
starting at a higher level. The other thing is recognizing that the trauma is the physiological
response to whatever happened. So it's more about a focus of focusing on the body, doing the somatic
work that we do, giving your nervous system the love that it needs. It is rarely ever important
to understand the story of what happened because you don't even remember it accurately anyway.
Any research on memory will tell you.
Highly biased. I like that.
And that at best, at best you're 50% accurate. Go just Google it. Memory research. It's crazy.
It's like, oh, shoot. It's like playing telephone. Every time you recall it, there's just a judge
difference. And before you know it, it's a whole different story. So that's also why the progression
of moving away from cognition, cognitive behavioral therapy is so critical because if we do the work
of your body intentionally and you start to untether and release through emotion and breathwork
and all these other somatic beautiful things, and at the level of your nervous system, you're doing
certain drills, then before you know it, your body starts to open and you start to untether from the
trauma that was there. So that's literally part of how, and that lives all inside of mind magic.
And then it takes shifting your level of mind and actually rewiring your brain and the way that you
think so that your cognition doesn't reaffirm the old trauma. Because it all has to work in concert.
For it to be a complete, I love every modality in everything. And the only actual problem
I perceive in anything is that it's just incomplete. So it's like you can't do affirmations
without working with the body because the affirmations won't go past your brainstem
into your nervous system to actually change anything. So if you look at what you're working on,
we need the holistic approach. And that's one of the ways that we dive into it.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani what is magic mind? You mentioned that.
Dr. Julie Kwan Yeah, mind magic. Yeah.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani Mind magic.
Dr. Julie Kwan Yeah, mind magic. Yeah. So mind magic is our methodology that combines spirituality,
energetics, neuroscience and somatics to evolve your identity. So you are it is a process that we
have developed of you becoming him or you becoming her. And it is that holistic complete view. It is
a nine week semester and every week stacks. And it's an embodiment process of untethering from
who you've been the program, the conditioning, the level of mind, the energetic, all of it,
and actually embodying the next level version of yourself, who is a man who leads with an open
heart, who lets other people shine, like we do that kind of work, you create manifestos,
your he manifesto, who are you, how does he feel, how does he spend the hours of his day living,
we identify emotional addictions, because you cannot exist in your new future if you're
constantly affirming the emotions of your past. So it's a very thorough identity evolution methodology.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani Well, you really touched on something that I think is very simple is
most people focus on healing by focusing on the negative. And all you do is reinforce the negative,
it's very hard to grow focusing on the negative, whereas you're saying no, let's shift and focus
on the positive. And why does that work better? Dr. Julie Kwan Because wherever you put your focus
and attention is where you put your energy and it's what you root into. Right. Dr. Justin Marchegiani
But it's almost like it's like that's not the way it feels. No, you're supposed to solve the problem.
And that's what men do. Dr. Julie Kwan
But also, here's what I love about this and high living in the matrix, because that's what the
matrix tells you. The matrix tells you to be problem focused. Yes. Because if you're problem
focused, you will then stay in lack, you will then stay in fear, you are then separate from a solution.
So it really enables the matrix for all of us to keep drinking that Kool-Aid, because then you
really never change, but you waste thousands of dollars and hours of energy and time. And it's not
working. And not only because the lens through which you're seeing it with and the approach you're
taking is, that's why I use quicksand as the analogy. It's like for every step you take out,
you're back in the quicksand and for every year is back and then just deeper and deeper and deeper.
And it also feels unnatural because your current belief structure and lens is living through I'm
not enough. So if I'm over here yelling at you through love and saying, listen to me,
that's the lie. Stop playing the I'm not enough game. Let's do it. Let's do a healing journey
from your wholeness. I'm sorry, what? I'm already whole, right?
It's very backwards. It's historically backwards for all of history. You don't solve the problem
by focusing on the good. You solve the problem by focusing on the bad. And what you're saying is,
guess what? That doesn't work as well. It doesn't work at all. Because if you also
recognize what happens in our brains from a neuroscience standpoint, when you have a problem,
right? And I'm gonna take my pentagon as my problem and you hold your problem and you look
at your problem, you get very myopic with your problem, right? And then often you can turn around
and talk to other people about your problem. And now everything in your focus and attention is on
this problem. What's happening is you're putting yourself into dysregulation because you are myopic
and you have this problem. Well, when you're dysregulated, your prefrontal cortex is shut off.
Because if things need- Okay, for our audience.
Yes, go ahead. Help our audience understand dysregulation.
Okay, thank you. So in your beautiful autonomic nervous system, you have the simplest way to
understand it is there's two main states of your nervous system. Dysregulated, which is sympathetic
stress for general terms. Regulated becomes parasympathetic, grounded, calm, right? So if
we just simplify it, dysregulated is stress sympathetic. Regulated is parasympathetic and
calm and flexible. When you are in that dysregulated state, which most of us in this matrix world live
in, in an acute sense and you don't even realize it, that means that you are in a stress state.
And that means that your prefrontal cortex, the front of your brain right behind your forehead,
which is your critical thinker and your decision maker and your ability to identify solutions,
actually goes offline. It shuts down when you're in dysregulation because the dysregulation in your
nervous system says, he's not safe right now. So I need to get ready to poise, to pounce. I need to
run. I need to freeze, right? I need to help this guy survive. He's not trying to innovate or get
creative about anything right now. So it shuts off. This is a natural wiring and has nothing
to do with your trauma. It only worsens if you have big T trauma, right? Or little T trauma.
So to really be able to recognize like, okay, so if I'm in dysregulation, the ability to identify
solution is impossible. All the solutions, the creativity, the innovations, the potentials,
the possibilities, like I want you to imagine you're over here looking to the left, over fixated
on your problem, being myopic, you're dysregulated. And to your right, every solution, every creative
possibility, every potential is legitimately walking by you like nanananaboo boo, like trying
to get your attention and you cannot even perceive it because this is where you are.
Right? So that's, I don't even remember what the origin question was, but that's essentially
why trying to grow from a problem focus is ineffective because you don't have the most
important parts of you online to tap into possibility.
Why do you love this? Because you love it. Why do you love this?
I love it. I do love it.
You do.
I feel so seen. I love it. I could, I, it's like, I have to pause myself in my normal life
because all I want to do is talk about this all day, all night. I love it so much because number
one, I'm in such awe of it. I'm in such awe of the fact that when we progress and when we have
research and when we have technology and we learn new things, we move from a world where we couldn't
have had this conversation 70 years ago where we believed, all right, you hit 25 years old.
You became who you became. Your brain stops changing. Good luck. Enjoy your life.
To now knowing we are malleable, our brains change to the day we die. We're not fixed beings.
We can become something, someone different. We're energetic. Like it's just so exciting.
How do you not want to scream it from the rooftops? Right? So just the, I sit in awe and just like you,
because I know we're both like obsessive human spiritual potential to read. You want to learn
in the best way. I say that in the best way. Yeah. Because we're in awe of it. I respect it. I'm like,
wow, potential is this really incredible thing. So that was, that was the opening, just like the
awe, you know, what's so interesting is when I was younger, middle school, high school,
I was the worst student. I skipped class. I didn't care. I, I didn't go to college because
I didn't believe I was smart enough because I was living in my, I'm not enoughness. And then as soon
as I grew up and started working on myself and found something I was interested in learning,
I'm like, oh, I'm one of the smartest people I know. Isn't that interesting? Do you know what I'm
saying? Because I actually opened to something new. And then after that awe, the reason I love it so
much is taking that awe, translating it, creating our own methods and methodologies and unique ways
to teach it that work 100% of the time. Like we've been audited, case studied, then the proof and the
evidence of the ripple effect, the life changingness of what happens because I got out of my own way
and I'm showing up to deliver what I know in that awe. And I'm watching women and their marriages
and their businesses and their leadership and their children are breathing because they're
watching the modeling and kids are using terms like 5D. What? Like that's why I'm obsessed with it,
because that is what we're here to do. And I think here's the thing, everybody worries
about the impact of social media, but what social media has done is it's changed the capacity to
change cultural conversations overnight because you're putting the power of the video in, I think
the video changed things when it was just text and words and articles that Facebook used to be, but
like TikTok and Instagram have with Reels and that concept of and shorts at YouTube have changed the
game. And I think we began to see it with the Me Too movement. I've said this many times is I think
the Me Too movement couldn't have happened 30 years ago because it was highly public, but it shifted
the culture conversation in one year, like to such a dramatic level. And I think we tend to focus on
the negative sides of social media, but it's also creating this empowered space where kids can go,
there's this whole other world to learn from. And they're starting to, they're starting to really
listen to what is that unified field, what is quantum physics? What is it mean to drop into
my heart? What does it mean to have coherence? I think Dr. Joe Dispenza has really created a
language for people that allows them to talk about it. Like we didn't know these things 20 years ago
in neuroscience and now we do that it's at the seat of our trauma and we actually know all the
moving parts and we don't have to live like we did yesterday. I want to, you had mentioned one
thing that I want to touch on is the, oh gosh, the right word was not enough. That was it.
What do you say to someone who is in the not enough space?
I understand that that feels real for you right now because it's been your program and you've
spent decades affirming it and feeling it and living it and behaviors that affirm it and,
you know, actions in your life. And then you've gained more evidence because you don't realize
you're living in a self-fulfilling prophecy that then further affirm the not enoughness.
So what I say to you is number one, there's nothing wrong with you and you're not broken
and you don't need to be fixed. And if you would just jump on my train for just long enough and
come to me with an experimenter's mindset just for like a little window of time and imagine that the
truth is that you are whole. The truth is that you are worthy because that is inherent in your
birthright. If you are here alive and listening right now, you are whole, you are worthy, you
are enough and there is nothing you ever, ever, ever need to do to earn that. And everything in
your mind that wants to fight against what I'm saying is your system feeling unsafe because it
feels so unfamiliar to not have to effort for your value. It's going to call you out of living in
the matrix and living beyond the matrix in the truth of your energetics and your wholeness and
your oneness. And that's the journey, right? Kind of back to that wholeness and starting to play
even as simple with what would change in your day today if you believed and operated from your
inherent worth and wholeness. Won't change. And you're going to come up with answers like,
oh, my body just relaxed. Why? I feel expansive. Well, I guess I'd have that conversation.
I'd probably leave that job, probably finally publish my website. All of these little things
start to happen. And then you start to realize how much energy and hours of the day
you have ended up unconsciously wasting on trying to affirm your worth. And then you're
going to get all that time back and all that energy back so we can actually do the real stuff
that you're here to do. That's what I say in probably a third of my reels. If you let go of
the bullshit, you are suddenly realize you have a lot of energy, but you've been using it just to
stash it down. And it's like, just let go of that and you'll have all this new energy that you
didn't even know was there. Because that's what happens. Your body's meant to be energetic,
but when you focus on the negative, guess what? You're only going to create negative energy and
you're going to suffer. And I think that's the beauty of it is, is that what you teach women
in your conferences is sort of how to begin stepping into that space? Because I think it's
a very powerful somatic practice. Yeah. I mean, it's really, I teach all of this,
and that's always the interesting thing for us as we attempt to explain what we do.
You know, it's the entirety of the becoming process, which is part unbecoming and part becoming.
And it's about heart opening and it's about shifting your relationship with fear. And it's
about changing at the level of your mind, actually rewiring the neuro tags. It's about
reconnection to your body and nervous system. It's about dramatically shifting your relationship
with emotion. It's about paying attention to the words that leave your lips. It's about tapping
into the goddess that you are so that you can stop functioning and all the overisms of those
adaptive behaviors and those trauma responses. It's all of that. It ultimately lands in, please
start treating yourself like the energy that you are. Right. And your, your productivity is not,
let's keep, let's not focus on the negative. Let's start replacing them with positive actions and
positive opportunities. It's how do we move towards the positive? Cause that's where all the life
really is. It is where life is. And rather than even using positive, we use language like aligned
and empowered because there's so much stigma around positive, negative. One of the things we do at the
core of the work is we get you out of judgment completely. We teach you how to cultivate what we
call, uh, your non-judgmental observer, right? Your non-judgmental observer. We want you to be void of
all judgment because that's judgment is one of the core things that keeps you rooted from feeling
your feelings. And if I, one of the things in my core, my inherent talent, like my gifts from
my guides, I am an emotional healer. There isn't a woman 10 minutes, we're crying and I'm loving it.
And that's my goal. Pulling it's energy. It's the release. Yeah. Yes. Pulling that energy and motion
out of your body and out of your congested system so that you can shine brighter in your field,
can be more potent and your system can naturally regulate. So it's all of that together. And then
it's, and it's, and it's not an ignorance or an avoidance of the past. We have to integrate those
parts of you, you at three years old, when something happened, you at seven years old,
you at 12 years old, you at 20 years old, like a Russian nesting doll into the woman you are today
in full love and full, you know, acceptance so that you are functioning off the truth so that those
younger parts and versions of you are not running the show because please don't kid yourself. If you
don't heal through, then you might look like you're 48 running your life, but you're not
the seven year old in you that is still wounded from what your father said to you. And the,
the, the, the disempowering meaning that your natural subconscious made at that age is what's
running the show. Right? So it's really important that we, we, we do that work. We just, we don't do
it in a heavy, Oh my God, I can't believe this. What happened to me? It's like, no, it's data.
High consciousness. Yeah. Right. High consciousness says, show me the data. Ooh, isn't that interesting?
Whoa. That's what was under there. Give me more. Give me more. Because in awareness, I can change
without awareness. It's over. Yeah. What does integration for our audience, what does integration
mean? Cause I think that's a really important concept of, of alchemizing our pain into something
valuable. What does that mean for you? Yeah. So integration means to, uh, acknowledge and, uh,
speak truth to, which becomes part of the healing process. So that part of you that maybe you
disassociated from, cause it was really painful, uh, can come back and integrate into who you are,
can merge into you because you had that moment where you acknowledged and shared with that part
of you or that age of you, whatever resonates, um, the truth, right? The truth that that moment where
in one of my lived experiences, uh, I was around six years old and I was on the playground and I
walked towards a group of girls that I thought would be my friends and they're all together.
And I walked over to play with them. And when I got in front of them, they turned around and walked
away. And that was a lot as you were six, I was six or six or seven. That's brutal. Brutal. And
in that moment, because before you're seven and a half, eight years old, you're all subconscious
mind and you only can internalize it about something about you. So that affirmed a wound
that are already began of, well, clearly I'm clearly, I'm not enough and clearly it's not
safe to be in relationship with girls. So going back to acknowledge that. So, so, so then, you
know, I became the girl in high school that had all best friends that were guys. I still had a
small collection of girls that I was like, okay, I trust you enough to be friends with me, but my
masses were dudes. Who is your best friend? Oh, I have several now. No, but at that time,
in that period of time, was it a guy or a, or a guy's guys that are still my best friends to this
day. And all my girlfriends be like, why do you have so many guy friends? But I couldn't answer
it then. I couldn't answer it then because I didn't know it was in my, I didn't know it was
in my psyche. I wasn't into it. It was, you know, it was whatever, you know, was aware, aware to it.
So it was like in that moment when I recognized that and I went back to it and then I acknowledged
it. And I spent some time with that part of myself that felt dark and felt unloved and that version
of me and told her the truth and embedded the truth for you. Oh, the truth was, what did you
say to your six year old self? Oh, sweet girl. You are so lovable and you are so amazing.
You're not supposed to be liked by everyone. You get to be your own approval and the friends that
are yours will always be yours because that's the truth. The truth wasn't what I created in that
moment, which is you are not enough. Clearly look, you don't matter. And if you were enough,
then clearly those girls would want to play with you. Yeah. And the problem, the problem with the
victim mindset is the victim mindset will never let you be the hero because the hero comes in and
says, no, you are enough. Let's rewrite the story that we, we picked up at six years old because
we've been, and that's what most people don't realize is when you're six years old, you have
zero prefrontal cortex. You cannot cognitively deal with it. It's all feelings and you're just
going with it. So it lives in your body for 30, 40 years and they go, oh no, I don't need to deal
with that. Yeah. No, it's still there. It's still in your body and your body's operating from a
limiting belief that you created when you're six years old. The reason to go back and do trauma
work is not so it's cool. It's so you can be released. And that's the difference. The something
you said that I absolutely love cause it took me a very long time to realize is we don't heal to
become whole. We heal to recognize we are already whole. That's what my mom helped me realize is you
take off the wet stinking blanket. What's underneath is the real you. And guess what? You've been whole
the whole time. You just haven't been able to see it. Yeah. It's like just a moment of amnesia. Like
let's bring you back to the truth. You know, and that releases you from having to accomplish
anything. You don't have to become someone you already are. Yeah. I love that journey. The way
you're creating this for women and even men, it sounds like it's this idea that there's a whole,
another way of living when you get out of your head and you get out of the trauma state. Cause
the trauma state is very real. I like last year I was working with a coach and I realized I had been,
so I'm on my second marriage, but my, I was divorced 10 years ago and I realized I had still
been living in survival mode from that divorce. And I had all of these plates that I was spinning,
trying to keep life. Cause I became very codependent solving everybody else's problem
and ignoring my own. And I realized that's really detrimental 10 years after the fact,
like it's okay to be protective in the moment divorce happened, but if you carry it for 10 years,
it destroys your life. And I realized so many people want the healing that you're talking about.
They just don't know how to get there. Yeah. And, um, it feels scary. Yes. And,
and my Ted, my Ted talks on fear partly for this reason. It feels scary and, and shifting your
relationship with fear is something that has to happen for you to be able to show up for yourself,
right. And really, really, um, recognize the protective nature, right. Of the fear that
you're feeling and fear is not a stop sign. It's an indication of where we need to lean in and
where we need to show up for ourselves. Um, and, and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And something
I want to touch on that you said, you know, so when you, you have that experience and then you
go back to your head, you were saying, right. So the occurrence happens and, and, and if it impacted
you physiologically, it becomes trauma stored in your body. And then you go back up into your head.
And the reason why you think you're okay, isn't because you're okay. It's because you disassociated
from your body. So you don't have to feel it. So you live from your neck up and you call that life.
Yep. And it's not. Yep. Yeah. Tracy, you've been absolutely amazing. We got to do this again.
I know, I know. I would love to do this again with you. So, um, how, how do our, how do our
listeners find you? Yeah. So the best place to go Instagram, we are super active on that. It's at
the lit factor and it's L I T T. So the lit factor and for all of the women listening, the school of
becoming.com, uh, is an amazing place to hang out, incredible library and other things to dive into.
Give me a quick summary of that, that our listeners can engage in. Like what does that path look like?
Yeah. If they were to be interested in that. I love it. The school of becoming.com, um, is a new
institution of higher consciousness and intentional evolution for modern trailblazing women. And we
have a gorgeous library. Come in, create a free account and you can like mark things and as you
want to read them, you take our ascension assessment, which literally shows you kind of where you are on
your ascension journey. And then we deliver you curated library content to support what level
you're at. So then you get like a read and a watch and a listen based on your results. Um, and that
allows you to just kind of start your own intentional evolution. And then our core curriculum starts with
mind magic. So we run semesters, like a school of mind magic. It's nine weeks long. Our next semester
will be winter, which will start, uh, I think it's end of January, beginning of February.
And that's nine weeks. And that's where we begin and you evolve your identity. And then you have
different levels of choices inside the school from there. So here's a bigger question that I know
everybody who's in the coaching space asks, what is the, but I want to ask you, cause I think your
program sounds like it's completely worth it. And I say that because I'm reading your energy, not your
like your, your desire to help people to me is off the charts. I love that. What would you say is the
reason to make the investment in yourself to participate in that program? Because it requires
an investment. Yeah, because you're the cause of the effect. You're the common denominator, right?
Everything is coming out of you. And of all the investments you make in life, uh, the thing that's
always going to deliver you the biggest ROI is anything where you invest in the asset that is you
because when we work on you, we change the way you hear, the way you think, the lens through which
you see the world, which then automatically shifts everything else around you. That's what happens.
That's a science. It's a variable. If you're the variable that's generating everything in proximity
to you and we go up and we change that variable, everything in your life, your business, your money,
your relationships, your intimacy, your parenthood changes in relationship to you changing. So just
make it easy. Stop investing in everything outside of yourself and make the singular investment
inside yourself. And you'll be like, what, why didn't I do this 30 years ago? But it doesn't show
up until you make that investment. A thousand percent. That's the hard part. Yes. And that's why
I want to encourage our listeners, make the investment in yourself to participate in what
Tracy's doing because I haven't seen a better coach who has a bigger heart. Um, I love your work. I
love what you're doing to help people. I loved your Ted talk because you're basically saying, we need
a new paradigm. We really do. We need a new paradigm and shift into it. We, we like, let's not
play in this old playground. Let's create something new. And I ask, I, I love what you're doing. Um,
it's very powerful and I know you're going to change a ton of lives. So Tracy, thank you so much
for joining us. This has been absolutely fantastic. Thank you so much. I enjoyed every second. I could
sit here and talk to you for hours and hours and hours. And I'm excited to see all the things.
We're going to come back and do this again. There's also something else. I can sense it. There's
something else floating around. So I'm just going to say it now for all the listeners, because you're
going to want to pay attention to Jonathan and I, because there's some other stuff that's going to
come out of this creation. So we'll keep you posted, but I love it. And thank you for having me and
your generosity and your knowledge base and the way you hold space and your energy and your
vulnerability. You are a magnificent model. Thank you for you are a magnificent model, especially,
you know, we share daughters. You are a magnificent model for young women. Your daughters are so lucky.
You are a magnificent model for men who might be a little bit afraid or unaware of what's possible.
So please keep doing everything you're doing because the impact is real.
Thank you. I appreciate that very much. I love this journey. It's been really hard,
but it's been incredibly worth it because it's led me to conversations like this. So Tracy,
thank you so much to all of our listeners. We love you. Please comment, review, let us. And again,
if you have a guest that you'd love to see on our show, please let us know. We're finding a lot of
guests that way. So to all of our guests, we'll see you in a week. Much love, everybody.