Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:00:00]:
Hey, guys. Thanks for joining us tonight. And, if you've been, again, joining us during the 21 days of prayer and fasting, you know, that as we conclude for many of us that we finish tomorrow, and, I just wanna give you guys a couple things. If you've been just, like, really eating really clean, you've been eating vegan kind of thing just like as the Daniel fast, you haven't been eating, you know, animal products. I would suggest, like, don't don't pound down, you know, oh, like the buttery sauce and, full on, you know, eat the the steak with the fat, and I would suggest that you probably just kinda ease into it a little bit, just for your, constitution, sake. But I think the other thing, more than that, you know, that just because the 21 days of prayer and fasting and, gathering, like, daily to be able to pray. It's even though those things are are done, let let's not forget that we we're not gonna stop praying till August when we do 21 days again.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:00:55]:
Right? And so part of the reason that we do it is to develop the habit of prayer and and that, you know, that you're you're well known in heaven. Don't just don't make it a long time before you see him again. Right? So, we we do that. But the also the other thing is that sometimes I think that that we need these moments that where we we just kinda press in to God and we lay aside certain things. And sometimes, to be there's there's probably some things that you need to keep on the side. Right? And that that maybe you you you laid down temporarily, but maybe God is saying, you just listen to what the the spirit is saying. Just listen to what god is saying to you. And, but, you know, we we trust that you've drawn closer, you've got stronger, that you feel closer, and that, as a result, that you feel that your prayers not only are heard but are being answered.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:01:46]:
Let's continue on. Some of those things, you see movement. I've seen movement in the 21 days, but I haven't seen the fulfillment of those thing. So that's why we keep praying. Amen? Amen. So, Dave, can we just say thanks to all you guys who've been praying with us? You know? Proud of you guys. Congratulations. And, you know, this evening as we conclude the series, we've been talking about just growing stronger, you know, this year that we're probably looking at that rather than saying that, hey.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:02:11]:
We wanna you know, we have these, New Year's resolutions. Let's look at the areas that where we wanna grow strong, you know, because so often, it's it's not just a a a wish list kind of a thing. I'm gonna do this, but it's these areas where we wanted to grow stronger. And so we talked about that, that your relationship with God, right, your your faith, your that that your spiritual side that needs to be stronger, that whoever we were in 2023, I think at the end of the year, maybe midway through the year, we look back and we say, man, I am better. I am stronger I'm different than how I used to be. Right? That we talked about the aspect as well, and yet we know that this year that as though although there will be great things that lie ahead. There's probably challenge that we cannot foresee, and so it happens to all of us. Sometimes those things come out of left field, sometimes it's like the slow train coming, and you you go like, oh, man.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:03:03]:
That's a train wreck ready to happen. But but when those happen. We need to have an emotional resilience. And so we talked about being able to have an emotional resilience because all of us will encounter difficult times. It's not the sign that that that walking with God is not, kinda like, the umbrella that says no rain will fall in your life. Right? And so we understand that aspect. So we talked about emotional resilience last week and then, 2 weeks ago. And then last week, we talked about that your fitness matters.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:03:32]:
Right? That we have to take care of the temple of God. Right? That, somebody the scripture says that your body is the temple of the living god, some people say, yeah, be be feed to worship. No. But that's not the that point. Right? So we we wanna take care of those things that god has placed us. This this evening then, we we close with our series in our series saying that relationships matter. That relationship matters, are an area probably that all of us want to to grow in. Now I I saw some jokes, about this.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:04:01]:
I just kinda googled, like, some relationship jokes, and I saw. And then some of them I thought was pretty funny. And, let me just share a a few of them. One of them said this that says, I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week. And when it was over, he says, hey. We got along really well there for a while. What happened? But, somebody said this. I I got my partner get better card, they're not sick or anything, but they could definitely get better.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:04:27]:
Right? And this this 1 guy says this, I bought my ex girlfriend a mood ring for her birthday. When she's happy, it turns blue. When she's angry, it leaves a big red circle on my face. Like like and I I read that one, and I kinda I chuckle out loud. Right? And and some of those jokes are I the reason why I think it's funny is because of twist. Right? Yeah. It's kinda leading you down one way, and then it takes you, in a different direction. And sometimes that's what relationships are like.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:04:54]:
Right? The the thing about relationships that is that, pastor Tom holiday. He's a pastor, author. He's, was, kinda like associate to Rick Warren for many, many years. He said this. He said relationships are painful. Relationships are wonderful, and we all live in the drama that plays out between these 2 truths. And is that true? That sometimes relationships are the most painful things in life and sometimes they're the most wonderful things in life. And so, during because of that aspect though that, you know, I I've been able to see some of those kinda wonderful things.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:05:31]:
Right? I've been able to see when, you know, a man and a woman kinda lay aside everything else to pledge their lives together. And although they're believing for a brighter future, sure, they're also saying, hey. No matter what happens, though, that we're we're willing to say no matter what happens, we're we're in it for the long haul. Right? And and what a beautiful thing, you know, that we we got I got to do that, like, last month, right, for, some, some important folks in our family, and what a great thing. You get to see, people doing that. And, you know, at the same time, I've seen people, who are friends, right, that and maybe people who come to the islands and have no family have no, you know, relatives here, but as a result of the the friendships that they've made, that they their their small group became a family, that their, it kept them here, that even though family was calling them home, they they stayed because of the friendships and the bonds that were here. And that that's a wonderful thing to see. Right? And and sometimes I've had the privilege to see sometimes relationships that have been so fractured that it ends in divorce, but by the hand of God and sometimes I I've seen it happen in a year, and I've seen it happen one time over 20 years where they where they recommit their lives and had a process part in the process, of that.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:06:53]:
And and so relationships can be really wonderful, and yet at the same time, we we've all been a part of something that's also been very painful. And so I know that when it comes to relationships growing growing stronger in relationships. The the truth is that relationships are not automatic. Right? They they don't just kinda self run, then they don't just, always, you know, work out well. Sometimes it takes energy. It takes an investment. It takes work, and sometimes it takes a little bit of skill. Right, because there is also a skill to relationships, not just the heart and the commitment of relationships.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:07:30]:
And so in this message that we're looking at that, to be honest, for relationship matters, it it it's it's really kinda undergirded, I think, in love. And all of us are looking for love at some point. Right? You guys ever been in that right? Just that the old song? It's just that sometimes we we say we just wanna in the wrong places. Now everybody talks about love today, I think, but love is not simply an idea. Right? Love is not just simply a philosophy or a feeling. You know, some people that we say it's like, I I love everybody. You ever said that? I love everybody. Well, the reality is you probably don't love everybody because you don't know everybody.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:08:07]:
Right? Like but and but sometimes we say that because I have this, you know, friendly feeling toward people. I have an accepting kinda attitude. We think our philosophy or our feeling is really what matters, but of it is that love has to be kinda manifested in in actions, and love has to be unmanifested in choices and decisions. And and so this this evening, I just wanna talk about 4, principles. And these principles are are found in actually the the Tom Holliday's book he has kinship principles of Jesus, we we use it as a series, a long time ago, but there's 4 things I I wanted to to talk about evening. And the first one is this, that, you know, obviously, we we know what Jesus said when it came to this. He said, that to love your neighbor as yourself. And so, in, reverence for God, reverence for his word, would you be kind enough? Let's stand in reverence for God and reverence for his word, and let's just read what it says in Mark 12/31.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:09:08]:
And and this happens right on the heels of being asked what's the greatest commandment, and the first he said was to love the lord your god with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul, and your strength. And then he said the 2nd is like it, and this is what he says. Let's read what it says. Ready? Begin. The second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these. Right? And so some people have got to the point is that have asked in in scriptures we we've seen somebody ask, well, then who's my neighbor? Right? And and to be honest, the point is not who's my neighbor as often as much as that are you being neighborly.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:09:49]:
Right? Because who's your neighbor is probably whoever's in front of you, probably, who you go to work probably it's who you go home to. It's it's probably the the people that you hang out with. It's the people that, maybe live down the street from you, a few houses away. But the thing is that whenever someone is before you, that's your neighbor at that moment. So before you're seated, do me fair to turn to your neighbor and says, hey. You're my neighbor. Right? You're my neighbor. And so what does that mean? What does that mean? That we're called to love one another.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:10:22]:
Right? That that's what the scripture talks about, that they were called to to love one another. But sometimes you can you guys ever you know, that we we put a limit, though. Because sometimes we put a limit on on differences maybe because sometimes people that we've been raised that where race was a difference. Right? Maybe politics today tends to be a thing that makes a difference. Sometimes there's lifestyles. Right? Or maybe just somebody's style. You guys ever been in that place and go like, man, I don't even understand that guy's style. Right? And, somebody told me said, Prashagan, I like your haircut, and I was thinking, I'm glad you do because I'm not that thrilled.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:10:57]:
But, you know, that's that's a whole different thing. Right? So got the got the wrong got the wrong status. No. The but, but, you know, the I just member, at Halloween when we did the Halloween Lighthouse Outreach that, we were handing out candy. They're playing games for the kids and just the folks in the neighborhood, right by O'Kelley where we have Sunday service and, you know, just it was great. You know? Tons of people and and all that. And I just remember this family coming up and the dad you can tell, obviously, the dad and the mom, and the dad is full on, like, decked out kinda like like a suit and all this stuff, but just like full on demon horns and all this stuff, and and a mom like a witch, and then the kids like, oh, blood and all these kinds of things like that. And and I was just looking at it and go like, man, some families, get into the holidays mine is like Christmas and Thanksgiving and New Year's, but some guys, man, they love Halloween.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:11:52]:
It's obvious. Right? And so I just said to the to the guy, I said, hey. Do you guys try to coordinate as a family? Right? And he goes, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We really try to make it family thing. I I just wanted to go for this demon thing, but my one of my kids wanted to have the headless horse, you know, like, the headless guy. And so he was kinda like one of those.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:12:11]:
I go, oh, yeah. You know? But I said, man, you can tell you guys put a lot of thought and all that, and, like, can I just say this? That guy's style is definitely not my style. Really, that's what I was thinking. Because I was thinking, like, man, that's not what I would have wanted to do. The kids are fairly young, and I I I was just saying, like, that's that's kinda not the thing, but, hey. That's my neighbor. Right? And we we blessed him. Right? We, you know, we we we offered them we offer that, hey.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:12:38]:
Play. Have a have a great time. That's that's what we wanna do. That's our community that we live in. Right? And, you know, that sometimes people are different. And I think that if we only love people who are like us, then to be honest, then our love is kinda selfish or is it kinda narrow. Right? Because that you're not just called to love the people who are exactly like you, who like the same things you do, who go to same places that you do. Right? That we we're called that's not what Jesus said, hey.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:13:05]:
By the way, find somebody, your neighbor, who's just like you and love them. He never said that. They said, love your neighbor as yourself. Now I think we tend to limit our our love as well, not just because of differences, but sometimes because of fears. Right? Everybody has fears of when it comes to relationship. Right? I think everybody gets a little nervous. Like, if if they really knew this about me, then I would they really accept me? Right? If they really knew this thing about I pass. Or or, you know, really that the thing is I I'm I'm afraid to get close to people because I'll get hurt again.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:13:37]:
Yeah. Maybe I'll be accepted or or will I want to be with them? And maybe I will I reject them? Right? And and so, the great author and, Christian thinker CS Lewis had a very insightful observation when he wrote this. He said that to love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung or possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it up carefully, round with hobbies and little luxuries. Avoid all the entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:14:17]:
But in the casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. But it won't be broken. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. And so although we have fears about maybe sometimes loving people, maybe loving people who are different, loving people who are are in in different kind of seasons of life or, you know, that he's I think one of those things that we need to understand is it's it's you will be hurt when you love people, but the the the blessings will outweigh the bet the the cost. Right? The the the blessings to you will outweigh the cost. The blessings in this world, the blessings in this life will outweigh that. Now one of those things I think that being neighbor may being neighborly, right, being a good neighbor, whether it's to the people you go home to, whether it's the people that you work with, is is that sometimes it's what you don't say that makes all the difference. Right? Sometimes it's what you don't say.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:15:19]:
I was talking with a friend this week, and, he he was just talking, and I I had shared on, you know, like, Thursday, I guess, I I shared, and I talked about things. And I talked about how, you know, I washed dishes, at home, and I confess I'm not a dishwasher. Right? So, I I admit. My wife does most of that. Right? Sometimes the kids help, one of those days that I didn't pretend like I didn't see. No. But I, she said that, you know, there was a bunch of dishes, and then when I washed the the dishes, and she said, just leave it. Leave it.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:15:50]:
I said, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just and then go relax, and then I just wash the dishes. And, you know, there's a part of me, I think, at different seasons of my life, I would be, like, after hours done, Beau, and say, yeah. Washed all the dishes.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:16:04]:
You know? Maybe, like, the one day at a week. Right? That kind of a thing. Right? And I didn't say that, obviously, because, you know, like, I I just wanted her to have a break. But we're because of that, he was laughing, and he was talking about, like, sometimes, you know, when you ask your kids to go do something and it takes them forever to do it. And you guys ever ask the kids to do something and then you get the eye roll. Right? And then so when they do it, that you don't wanna even say something positive already, right, because you're just so frustrated. It took so long, and you did it with such a bad attitude. And I I I and so he was just kinda I was lamenting with him a little bit because he was sharing that, and I said, hey.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:16:42]:
But you what? I this is one of the things I noticed, and I and then I often I tell the wives this. Right? That and then you you know this as a man. Right? Like, ever been in that place where your your wife asks you to do something and, you you know, it's uncomfortable for you and you don't really know how to do it and, you know but but you go and you do it, and then she kinda complains about what you did. I said, how do you feel? He goes like, I never wanna do that again. Right? And and and so sometimes, you know, it's what you don't say, right? That matters. When people do something and and they and and it's not perfect, sometimes you know, I'm not saying that we cannot bring correction, but sometimes it's what you don't say. Sometimes it's the the fact that we don't have that a criticism on the on the back end of sometimes people's biggest effort, right, that to to do something good, sometimes your biggest effort to be a help, but, yeah, sometimes you get everyone help, but then the help makes more work for you. Right? And, and so sometimes I I've we've all been that.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:17:43]:
Like, I I remember having you know, when painting when the kids are young, it's like, man, if they wanna help, but all of these is, like, I just gotta clean up more. Right? And and so but sometimes I the things that I have said, I I wish I never said. Anybody else been in that place? Right? Because sometimes you can't take it back. And and so, you know, sometimes you get frustrated. And there's been times that in my anger in my anger, probably my greatest regrets is that I've spoken out in anger. Right? I've spoken out, and just like, I just feel it. I just gotta let it out. But this is what Proverbs 2911 says.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:18:21]:
What does it say? Let's read that together. Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back. In in over the years, just as Rica and I have been married and some of the relationships and friendships and family situations I've seen, that I learned that sometimes that how to be the best neighbor, how to be how to to love my family, how to love my friends, how to sometimes there's the things that you don't say. Right? You could say, but is it gonna be helpful? Is it gonna that'd be an encouragement. Is it gonna be make things better, or you're just giving vent to your frustration? Right? And that's what that scripture is saying. And sometimes sometimes I think it's what you give to be neighborly. Or sometimes it's it's it's like what you give. In the old movies I I used to say, I never seen anybody do this in real life, but the they knock on the door of the neighbor, and he says, excuse me.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:19:16]:
Can I borrow a cup of sugar that used to be on TV or in the movies along right? And then I never seen anybody really do that. But, but it's like and it's oh, yeah. Right? They go and they give a sugar. Right? They go and give whatever that thing is. But but how many of us in relationships how many of you want to be respected? Right? Okay, I I I assume that. How many of you would like to be listened to? Right. Okay. Great.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:19:41]:
How many would like to be encouraged? Right. How many would like to be told that what you did was good. Right? Like, okay. Like, I I think all of us. So you know what? The this the the principle then is that, to be honest, sometimes those things, if you like it, guess what? That's what you give. To be a neighbor, that's what you give. Give somebody respect. Listen to them.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:20:03]:
Be encouraging. Right? And and the thing is that when you do that you know, to be honest, often, you're a breath of fresh air. I've been in places where, at times where when you said something encouraging to somebody, you can tell this person is not used to hearing something positive. Right? I we've had people come to church, and they said, you know what I love about church? This is the only time I ever get a hug. And it's like, there's a part of me that my heart breaks a little bit about that, but then I'm so glad that you guys are the welcoming people. Right, I'm glad that you're a welcoming community that it can be in that place. Right? That this is, like, you you you've never, like, you know, never have contact with people, but that you're hung here. Right? So loving your neighbor as yourself is probably a good idea is if you would be encouraged, if you would feel blessed, if this is what you desire and so many of us, we'd long to be respected, but we don't wanna give respect.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:21:05]:
Right? We long to be listened to, but we don't wanna listen. We long to be encouraged, but we don't wanna give encouragement. Sometimes to be a good neighbor, it's it's what you give. Right? Because we just don't love everybody. You gotta she love people in particular. Right? A a number of years ago, actually, when I was a a a young believer, I remember, I used to get, you know, I kinda had a chip on my shoulder. Maybe I still do sometimes. I'm not sure.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:21:33]:
But, you know, the thing is that when I got saved, I was still working. I was working at and, remember going I was delivering mail. I used to deliver mail for the College of Business. And walking into this office, there was always this 1 lady, she was just so salty at the, admissions and records office that that we I'd have to shuttle bookings because, you know, the kids in college and and stuff like that. And she was just so negative, and I just become a believer not that long, and so I had a joy in me. You guys remember when you get just the joy of the lord just knowing Jesus? And and I was thinking, man, this lady, this is like she got baptized in lemon juice. You know what I mean? Just so sour or so negative and just kind of a thing. Right? And I I this is what I said.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:22:20]:
I said, I would make this lady smile. Right? And, you know, like, it she's it's obviously she looks like she's been round since the beginning of the universe. No. But, like, she's been around a long time, and and so, you know, I just should see her. I see her bark at other students would come from other offices and all that. And I learned her name. Right? I I I learned her name, and I I would say, like, hey. Hi.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:22:45]:
You know, like, just to say her name is Lois. And I say, hey, Lois. How are you today? And in the beginning, like, she would be like, what? And you know what the sign was? Nobody ever said hi to her. Part of it, probably, she didn't give the high vibe. You know what I mean? It's not the kind like you that you're not walking in and say, hey, Lois. Give me 5 today. You're not doing that. You just that she's not giving that vibe.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:23:07]:
Right? And so she just said, what? Because it's obvious nobody ever said that to her. I said, I just wonder how you doing today? And she's like, oh, alright. You know, that kind of a thing. And just, you know, every day then when I used to have to go, I would just say, hey. How are you doing? Just that it was, good to see you. Right? Whatever. And and, you know, like, one day, she came in. And when when I came in, I just saw her smile.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:23:31]:
I saw her smile, and I said, hey. Good to see you smiling. And she say, oh, good to see you. Right? This and this. You know what? Because sometimes people, frankly, they're so starved. They they don't have anything to give. Right? And and maybe maybe it's some of it is their fault. Right? Maybe some of it is their style.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:23:53]:
Right? Maybe some of it is that. But here's the thing is that what I what I noticed that is that if everybody wants to be appreciated. Everybody wants to be be valued. Everybody wants to be encouraged in some way. Just that sometimes we we don't feel like we wanna do it. Why? Because they're not encouraging to us. Right? So can you be first? Can you be first? Sometimes we just gotta be first. Do me a favor.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:24:17]:
Turn to your neighbor and say sometimes we gotta be right? Sometimes you just gotta be first to say it. Right? Sometimes you just gotta be first to engage people. So often we want people to be encouraging to us. How about us to say setting the mood on what we want to do? Like, if you want to have a house that's encouraging, guess what? You gotta be encouraging. Right? If you want a house to be, you wanna live in a a loving household, it's not the secret is not marrying a loving person. Sometimes it's setting the atmosphere in your own home. Because love is not just a feeling, it's a choice. Love is a decision.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:24:53]:
Because I could say I love everybody and then come home and then just really rag on everybody when I get home. Right? Because then I'm frustrated. I get tired, and and and we all we all get in that place. Right? So I'm not saying it that I never get tired. I never get frustrated. I never have a a a sharp tone, but I think what I what I'm saying is that when you take when you give that, that what people want what you want, to be honest, it tends to multiply. If you want to multiply joy, then be joyful. If you want to multiply encouragement, then be encouraging.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:25:25]:
Right? And and that's what happens. Relationships often that we started because, you know, you clicked with somebody. Right? Like, you think about your best friend. You know? I I've heard all kinds of stories about how people their best friend you know, I met my best friend in, in college, you know, just, and actually, you know, like a a Christian ministry meeting. Two totally opposite ends. He was the goody goody boy, and I would kinda was like, came from the other side. Right? And, he was tall. I'm sure.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:25:56]:
Right? He's he is skinny. I was a little bit you're no broader. That kind of we're just total opposites. But, you know, of us, we we have like, your best friends are like that. Right? I one of my friends, his his best friend he met in high school playing golf, and he said they were so mad at each other that they would were hitting dirt at each other, like, on the driving range in high school. Right? Like and he was, like, mad and just kinda and then what happened? At the end, he became best friends. But sometimes you have something in common. Right? Something bound you.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:26:23]:
For them, it was golf. For us, it was you know, we just we're both new in, in our faith, sometimes you just enjoy somebody's company. Sometimes you're attracted to them. Right? Sometimes it's physically. Right? Sometimes it's emotionally. Sometimes it's other ways. Somebody people make you feel special. You have fun together.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:26:40]:
Whatever it is, that it's awesome when you start you share your hearts. Things are going well. You've closed. And then maybe after a while, things start feeling a little bit like kinda we're running on automatic. Right? That maybe things start feeling that the passion wanes. Right? Maybe it's a habit, right, that that you do it. Not so much that that you you're not that you don't go home because you just long to go home because you just go home because I went home yesterday. Right? And, you do what you do today because that's what you've been doing.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:27:09]:
And that happens to everybody. I think that's one of the things that the longer you've been married. Right? Like, when I come home now, like, my wife doesn't like, oh, honey. Boom. Right? Right? Right? But at least she doesn't say, oh, honey, you're home. Right? So that's that's that's good. But this it's not like that. But, you know, the thing is that how do you take a love and make it new? Some people just says this.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:27:34]:
I gotta I gotta change the spouse. I gotta change the boyfriend or the girlfriend. I gotta change the job. I gotta change my friends. And the thing is that sometimes the reality is you gotta change. Right? It's it's not it it's not changing people, it's it's it's it's just changing. How do you take a love that's gotten old and make it new. Right? It's it's not starting over with somebody else.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:28:04]:
Why is that? Why isn't why isn't that the solution? Because one day, the new girlfriend is gonna be the old girlfriend. Because one day, the new job is gonna be the old job. Right? Because one day, the new friend is gonna be the old friend. And and then what? And then the serial, we do this over and over again. Right? And so sometimes the reality that that god asks us to do is to renew our love renew our love. And let's read what it says in John 13 verses is 33 and 35. He says it like this. Jesus speaking says, so now I am giving you a new commandment.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:28:43]:
Let's say new commandment. New commandment. You know, what is the what is the the contrast? The Old Testament and the New Testament. Right? It's the this it's the the law versus the spirit of of of grace and love. Right? And it's truth in here too. Right? But he's saying this. I'm giving you a new commandment. Love each other.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:29:03]:
Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. And so what he's saying is the new commandment is that sometimes we wanna love like Jesus loved, and so we're gonna try to love like Jesus love. You guys ever tried to love like Jesus love? Right? Sometimes I I have tried, and you know what happens after all? I I fail. Right? Because people rub me the wrong way or this wasn't convenient or whatever. And it's like I I I or sometimes I try to approximate, but that's not what he says. He's not saying try to you know, like, the in the old days, they used to have the bracelet. You guys remember there was a bracelet? Right? The WWJD.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:29:47]:
What would what would Jesus do? Right? And and so there's there's something really good about that, but then sometimes it's like that it's not just trying to copy Jesus. That's not what he says. The scripture doesn't say copy me. He says, what? Love as I have loved you. How have you been loved by Jesus? Because you look good? Have you been loved by Jesus because, you you knew all the right answers? Have you been loved by Jesus because, you always, you know, were strong and confident? No. Right? It has nothing to do with you are loved probably unconditionally. You are loved in your weakness. You were loved in so this is all he's saying.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:30:35]:
If you've been loved in your weakness, would you be willing to love someone else in their weakness? Right? If if you love when you felt unlovely and, you know, like you guys know what I'm talking about. Like, man, there's like an ugly phase in our life. Right, and maybe that was the time you're in the world. Maybe it was the time you're in the club. Maybe that was the time you were stuck in some habit and that in that ugly phase of our life that that god just loved us. So this is what he's saying. Could you love somebody maybe when they're not at their best? Right? Maybe when everybody's sure. No.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:31:08]:
Sometimes it might seem difficult. Now I I just somehow, I just was thinking there's I know these these challenges, like, on, on YouTube and, like, TikTok and all that. You guys ever hear these, like, the impossible challenge? There's different ones that they said this is an this is the impossible challenge. You take a broomstick and that you have to step over the broomstick without, like, letting go on one end, right, without jumping or whatever, and that you're supposed to step over the broomstick, and you you hold that. And they say that, like, to be honest, that that guys cannot do it. Now I know I cannot do it because I have a bad knee. Right? I have one bad Adi, I know that one knee, I'm not gonna get the net stretch. Right? But I just watched that, you know, people try to do it, and it's, it's pretty funny sometimes.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:31:55]:
There's another one that's out there that's impossible when they say go on all fours. You can do this try go home. Put some cushions down first. But go on all fours, and that what you're supposed to do is that when you're on all fours and you stay on your knees, you put one hand behind your back, and then you put the other hand behind your back Without falling, k, on your hands and knees. And it's it's hilarious, but, like, part of that, it's, part of that, I think, is, guys, oftentimes, you have a different body structure. Right? So that's why it's it's hard. But, like, that's an impossible challenge. Some things look at it.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:32:27]:
You go like, no matter how hard you try, you cannot do it. And so when it comes to sometimes loving the way Jesus loved you, it can feel impossible at times. Am I right? Right? It's impossible. I can love everybody else, but this one person. Right? Unfortunately, they happen to live in your house sometimes. Right? Sometimes it's unfortunately, that tends to be, you know, that you're you're the person that you work with, whatever the case. Right? But it's like you we all get to that place at times. But what do we do when we find that we cannot do what Jesus asked us to do? Can can we start by just being honest and embrace that I can't do it rather than faking it.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:33:19]:
And I I'm not saying that there's you know, like, we shouldn't try to, you know, be civil. We shouldn't try to be, you know, like good witnesses to people or or to to embrace people. But I'm just saying that sometimes, you know, maybe you just feel like you you can't do it because it reminds you of the horrible upbringing you had as a child or maybe some struggle that you had and some, you know, some horrible relationships, some horrible, you know, situation. And so it it stirs that. You guys ever you guys know what means some situations, it the reason why it was so hard because we've been there before in some ways, or it reminds us of something that we're we've been before. But one of those things that we don't do is you don't have to pretend those feelings don't exist, and you don't have to try to escape those feelings by throwing yourselves in hobbies or, you know, distracting yourself. But instead, the scripture says we we had looked at when I am weak, then he then I am strong. Why? Because it's not my strength, but it's his strength.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:34:28]:
And so sometimes we just gotta say, god, I can't do it, but can god do it? Yeah. Obviously, we know god can do it, but we gotta add the last one. So so, god, would you do it through me? Right. Because when you get to that place where it feels impossible to love somebody because of your history, because of, you know, what's going on, right, the the whole situation. Sometimes just say I can't do it, lord. I know you. I know you can. I know you love that person.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:35:01]:
Right, you think about the person that you have the the greatest difficulty with right now. Does god love that person? Right? Yeah. We we know that god loves that person. And so if you are willing to say, god, would you somehow love that person through me. Yeah. That's what I that's what I'm asking. I don't have the strength. You know what? It's it's amazing that when you read the scriptures, you'll see so many pine.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:35:31]:
People didn't have the ability, but god did it through them. You know, Joseph, when he's interpreting dreams in the court of pharaoh, he's cleared to say, hey. You're the guy who interprets dreams. Right? And he just says, nope. Interpretations belong to God. But if you say what your thing is I'll listen to it. Right? And he's saying but he what he's saying is he giving glory to god. See, I can't do it, but god, would you do it through me? And there's been times that I've just had to love people on credit.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:36:09]:
Yeah. How many most of us, we guys you guys what a credit card is. Right? Everybody knows what a credit card is. Right? What's the concept of a credit card? Do you have to have that balance? I'm not advocating spending high on your credit card, but do you have to have that balance in your bank at the moment? No. You don't, actually. Right? What's the concept? That you borrow. Right? You're borrowing. That's what a credit card says.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:36:33]:
But but there's been times I've had to love people on credit. Because I know I don't love them at the moment. You guys ever get in the fight and then say right, oh, I love you. And then get this. Like, no. You're like, don't touch me. Right? But in that moment but just to say, rather than boiling out into another fight, you say, god, I know you love my spouse, I know you love my son. How many like, sometimes, to be honest, sometimes my challenge, it's I don't really fight that much Rica, we hardly ever fight over that sometimes it's the kids.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:37:14]:
Right? You know why it's the kids? Because I feel like disrespect. I feel like it's, you know, they know better. They should be at this stage. Right? All these things. But this is one of the things I go. Like, have I been in that case? I know that you love them. Yep. If you love them and right now, I'm having a hard time.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:37:35]:
I'm just saying emotionally. Would you somehow love them through me? And you know what? It it changes me. It helps me because there's times I can't do it. I can't do it. It's an impossible challenge. But true Christ, right, then I think all things are possible. And, you know, does that mean that we're always just encouraging. We we never address issues.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:38:05]:
We we pretend. No. No. No. That that's that that's not to say that. Right? There's a time too that we do need to speak the truth, but how do we do it? In love. In love. In love.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:38:15]:
Thank you. Let's read Ephesians 4/15. Ephesians 4/15 says what? He says, instead, we will speak the truth in love. Growing in every way more and more like Christ who is the head of the church. It's not enough to speak the truth, he says. It's to speak the truth in love. And sometimes I think that when there are issues that have been you know, like, that it's you're dying because you you never get to address these things that you so desperately want from a person, then one of those things, I think, is to say to to have a conversation. Can we just can we just talk for a second? And then sometimes there's issues that's so sensitive just to bring it up.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:39:01]:
Like, we feel the walls. You guys know what I'm talking there's some issues in in relationship. You bring it up, and it's like there's just just a wall already. But can we just say that, you know, what I what I hope I know this is so hard, but what I hope is that I would feel more connected if if we just, you know, and you fill in the blank. You know, I long to connect with you. I long I I would like to be closer with you if we could just somehow work through this issue, and you fill in the blank. Because is that like this is all your fault? And once you start saying of course, we all know. It starts any discussion that started with, you know what your problem is? That that doesn't end well.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:39:54]:
Alright, doesn't end that that's like, yeah. Let's just buckle up for put on the gloves here. But, but let's just say this. Attend to some of the relational drains. Everybody has relational drains. Every marriage has a little relational drain that when they do that, you just kinda kinda feel that a little bit. Right? Right? For my wife, I leave my stuff around. She sees that and is like right? It just drains her.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:40:27]:
It just drains her. I I don't really understand, like, emotionally, but I understand intellectually. Right? And so when she says, can you clean this up? And you know what my first thing is? Like, no. No. What not right now. Leave me alone. Like, let me get I'm busy. I gotta do this thing.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:40:44]:
Right? And I I I come a little defensive. But, you know, one of the things I've been doing is that I've been able to say, you know, I really am working on it. I'm really am working. I'm gonna work on it. And and so this is what, Song of Solomon says, in terms of marital love, in terms of romantic love, in terms of marriage love, he says this. They said this in in 215. Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming. And what they're talking about, it's like that whether it's a fox or a jackal, they say that that both of those are were in that place, but that they would run through vineyards.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:41:26]:
And in the midst of the blossom, they tend to burrow. They tend to they tend to dig holes. In the process of digging holes and creating holes in the vineyard, they knock sums off the grapevine, so what happens? No fruit. No fruit. And so sometimes, the problem is not that we have we need more blossoms sometimes we think. Yeah. Sometimes. But sometimes, you you gotta address the things that's just knocking the blossoms off.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:41:57]:
And and so it's okay to have it if we speak the truth in love, if instead of saying, you know what your problem is, let's say, can we just I know we struggle in this area. Can we discuss this? I know it's not a comfortable thing, but every marriage has to address those things. Right? Right? Even friendship. Sometimes it it is the elephant in the room, we say. But, like, sometimes we we need to do this. We need to talk about that. Share what you need from the other person. Share what you want from the other person.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:42:32]:
Right? But would you start with some start with something positive? Because it's probably true. I wanna be close to you. I wish we were closer. This would help me. Right? You you fill fill in the blank. Does that make sense? Because there's probably somebody in your life right now that you could have that kind of a conversation with. Now, is that mean everybody like, I made that commitment to my wife. I am gonna work on it.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:43:04]:
Does that mean that I will be Marie Kondo? That's the Japanese lady that was cleaning the organizing person. No. We're not gonna be. I'm I'm never gonna be as probably neat and orderly as my wife. That's an unfortunate. My wife will never be the same as me. I I run at a different pace, and she's never gonna run at my pace. That's just not gonna happen.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:43:34]:
Right? And so because we married somebody different how many of you married somebody different than you? You know what? That's by design. Because if you guys were the same, 1 of you would be unnecessary. Right? 1 of you would be not needed. Right? So you, by design, God brought somebody into your life who would bring strength where you have weakness and where they have weakness, you generally have a strength. Right? And so here's the thing. This is what it says in Colossians 313 and 14. Can we just read that together? Ready? Begin. Make allowance for each other's faults.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:44:14]:
Let's say that word, make allowance. Right? To make allowance literally means to endure, put up with, be patient with somebody, that person, you're gonna have these conversations. This is the thing. This is what I need from you. This would be so helpful. Can we address this issue. They would they will have that conversation. They're gonna make effort to do that.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:44:41]:
Are they gonna be perfect? Nope. They're not. But does effort matter? Right? I think effort matters. Right? I don't expect perfection when my kids started to walk. They they got up, and they stood up, and they stumbled. I didn't say, get up. I didn't do right, because it's just that's the process. Right? If whenever you're trying to get potty trained, they did it once, and then the next time, they they mess we don't say no sense already.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:45:14]:
Nobody does that. Right? I can get better even though I'll never be as good as she is. Right? She can get stronger. No. She might not be the same as me. You know what? We need to make an allowance for each other's weaknesses and faults. And then it says this, what, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember the lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:45:43]:
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And so, you know, right, we're not talking about make allowance for domestic violence. We're not talking about make allowance for, you know, illegal activities in your home and out of control addictions and that there's no limits. We're not saying there's no limits. Right, but you make allowance because there ought to be boundaries that love always has limits. Right? Jesus loves us, but there's a limit, he says. Right? There's some things that we we don't do. We don't renounce the faith.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:46:23]:
Right? He says that we don't kinda apostasize it. There's there's love. He loves moves us unconditionally, but he tells us there's limits. And so for all of us and so, this makes sense. Yeah. I just wanna close with this last point. This is the last point. Well, what do you do, right, we're I'm trying to speak the truth or not.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:46:48]:
I'm trying to be encouraging. I'm trying to be all this. Right? And you you're doing these things, and it's not try harder. Can we just say this? The solution is not just try harder. Right? Solution is not just try harder because you cannot pour out from an empty cup. You just gotta know where to fill your cup. Right? Sometimes there are gonna be seasons when your kids cannot give you what you need. There's gonna be knee there's gonna be seasons your parents cannot give you what you need.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:47:17]:
There's gonna be season, your spouse cannot give you what you need. There's gonna be seasons where your girlfriend or your boyfriend cannot give you what what you need. You know why? Because they're a human being, and you're a human being, and you're faulty, and you're frail. So this is what we need to do. We need to seek god to fill your cup. Right, you need to seek god to fill your cup and then pray with feeling. What do I mean that seek god to fill your cup? The first commandment, he says, was love your lord your god with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And and so what does that mean? That that heart and soul I I think they're generally synonymous heart, soul mind that they're they're kinda all that same, but but you might think about heart like this.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:48:04]:
We can't think about heart is like how you feel. We can think about soul as maybe how you decide your will. We we can't think about your mind is, you know, what you think. Right? And so sometimes these that there's these things that when we we wanna respond to God, we wanna respond to with our feeling, we wanna respond to God with our will, and we wanna respond to God with our thoughts because when we do, he'll fill your cup. He'll fill your cup. Sometimes this is what we do. Is we we just come to God, and we say, god, I know you have all the answers, but you're so far. You god feels so far from us.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:48:41]:
You guys ever you guys know what I'm talking about? We know he has the answers, but he just feels so far from us. And then we decide. We decide. I'm gonna read the Bible today. I'm gonna pray today. I'm gonna and so you and then you've kinda pray and you do kind of in a formal way, and it just God still feels far away from you? Well, sometimes you the reason why is because you don't pour out your heart to god. See, sometimes you gotta when you pray and when you're in that place, you gotta be filled, you gotta pray with kinda like your emotion as much as your intellect. Right.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:49:14]:
This is what it says in Psalm 25/6. Turn to me and have mercy for I alone I'm in deep distress. If you read the Psalms, we see David pour out his heart before god. Is he, like, always neat and comfortable and said, like, god, I know by faith that this is all gonna work out. He he that's not how he prays. Is there a time for just a prayer of faith? Yeah. Absolutely. I I'm we believe praying the prayer of faith.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:49:43]:
Right? It's it's amazing that this tonight, I heard Larry that last week, he said he needed 1 more surgery he needed 1 more surgery to be able to kinda get up to full stride, be able to walk a little better, run, all that to be restored. He went to the doctor this week. And what did the doctor say? No more surgeries. Oh, forget that. We didn't they checked him out, and they go like, you know, after the two and a half years in a wheelchair. He's walking. No nothing. Right? Praise god.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:50:16]:
Right? We believe in faith, but sometimes you gotta just pour out your heart. Right? Sometimes you just gotta pour out your heart. Psalm 389 says this, that you know what I long for, lord. You hear my sigh. Let me just ask this. When's the last time you cried before god? When's the last time when you prayed, you shed tears? See, sometimes the reason why we don't feel close to God is because we don't give god our heart. We give god our mind. We we give god some time.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:50:52]:
We give god maybe we give god some of our finances. Maybe but god wants your heart. And so if your heart is broken, you know what? Just give them the pieces. This that's it. Right? If you feel wounded in that point, just give him your wounds. If you've been in sin, just give him your sin, and and just let him, but but do it. Don't hide your heart from God. To be honest, I think if you're like me, sometimes I don't hide my heart from God intentionally.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:51:26]:
I don't know what I'm feeling. You know, if people hey. How are you feeling? I say good. Why? Because I have to think about how what I feel. Right? I I can be I can be like that. But when I think about sometimes all the things that might be going on and all the challenges, there's there's moments where, you know, I need to pour out my heart. I need to I need to pour out my emotion. I need to I need to confess my sin.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:51:55]:
Right? I love Psalm 3817 and 18. He says this. I'm on the verge of collapse facing constant pain, but I confess my sins. I'm deeply sorry for what I have done. We know what the scripture says in those kind of instances that that the one who comes to God, he will not turn away. Right? You get your cup filled, and sometimes you gotta just say out loud what you know is true because you do have to not just your heart, not just your will, but you do have to renew your mind. Right? You do have to renew your mind. I love, Psalm 18 verses 1 and 2 says, I love you, lord, because you are my strength.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:52:33]:
The lord is my rock. When we say that rock, what does that sound like? Strength, stability. Right? The this shelter. The lord is my rock, my fortress, my savior. My god is my rock. In whom I find protection, he is my shield and the power that saves me. That when you when you choose, you engage your will, and then you pray. And to be honest, if your cup is empty and you say, man, I'm home.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:53:09]:
God, I I don't I don't have anything to give. I I want you to love to me, but, man, I'm just so empty today. I don't feel like I can do it today. You're giving me emptiness. Confess those things before him and and let him fill you. Let him fill your cup. And then at the same time, renew your mind. Focus on what you think.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:53:32]:
Right? That you're my strength, that you're my rock, that you're my fortress, my savior. My god is my rock, and that you might be safe in that place, that I might find protection. He's my shield, the power that saves me. When we connect with God relationally, we connect with God emotionally at times, that's when you that's when you feel that moment. You go like, man, just that one word, just that one touch from God, and it's all, I'm good. Right? It gives you the strength for the moment. And so if we want to be having better relationships this year, if we wanna be growing stronger relationally, it it takes us being a a neighbor. Right? Loving our neighbor.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:54:24]:
It takes renewing our love. Right? And it's not not copying Jesus' love. Just give them what Jesus gave you. If you receive grace, give them grace. Jesus gave you truth, you can give them truth. Jesus gave you love, give them love. Right? Jesus gave you understanding. You ever felt just the understanding of Jesus? Like, I know.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:54:50]:
I know you. I know your heart. Then then give them understanding. And then sometimes, you know, we need to just kinda be in this place and get our cup filled again make sense? Hey. Let's bow our heads, and we'll close in a word of prayer today. Father, as we come, I think all of us wanna have stronger relationships this year. We wanna grow this year. And, lord, we know it takes more than just commitment.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:55:24]:
Commitment's such a huge part, but sometimes it takes a little bit of skill as well. And maybe is there anybody here that that as you're thinking that there's a person that right now that you need to just think God's bringing to your mind. I I really wanna work on this relationship in your life. I really would like you to work on it, but you don't feel like you have the strength to love. You don't to to focus. Would you just say to god, god, I can't. I know you can, but would you do it through me today? If you feel empty, if you feel your cup is dry, and then would you just confess, god, god, I'm empty today, and I would you fill me? Because I can't. And then there's some of us maybe there's some things you ought not to be saying that you have been saying.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:56:55]:
Father, we we all have people we love and things that are going well. And we all have places, lord, where we know we we need to grow. So would you guide our steps? Would you move in those places. And father, we bless those people right now that have been most difficult to love. If there's somebody that's been just difficult to love. Right now, as we just say that, would you just in your heart, in your spirit, would you bless that person? God, I'm praying for your favor and your grace and your mercy on this person. Lord, would you pour out, lord, your love on that person. Would you pour out your spirit on that person? Would you feel them somehow, and, lord, and I'm willing I'm willing now, lord.

Pastor Glenn Yamaguchi [00:57:46]:
Although I don't might not have the power, I'm willing for you to love them through Father, I thank you that as we grow, as we lean into you, as we trust you, father, I thank you that we look forward to being growing in our faith, In our emotional resilience, lord, in our fitness, but, lord, in our relationships, including our relationship. In Jesus name, God's people say amen.