Welcome to the Prospering Soul Podcast. This limited series is all about how to take care
of your soul and how to make sure you understand the ways to be healthy and balanced in life.
In this series, John Meadert, lead pastor of Cross City Church, sits down to explain
one of the most important secrets of his own spiritual growth and a detailed explanation
of how people change.
This is John Meadert in the Prospering Soul Podcast and we're so glad you've joined us
and hopefully you've been with us through these several sessions of the Prospering Soul.
We've gone through all kinds of background. Today we're going to do something a little
different on our podcast. This is actually session eight and I'm calling this a picture
with a thousand words. A picture is worth a thousand words and of course the idea of
that statement is you can look at a picture and it gives you a really great description
that it might take a thousand words to describe. But I'm going to reverse that today because
you're probably listening to this podcast while doing something else. You might be driving,
you might be running, you might be a number of things that you're doing and you may not
be able to see the picture even though we're going to attach the two pictures I described
today to our podcast and you'll be able to look at that. So if you're wanting to look
at those pictures while I talk about them then please find a place to sit down, maybe
behind a desk, maybe it's a chair in your home or office or wherever you might be and
just know that we're going to talk through a couple of diagrams that I believe are going
to be very, very helpful. Now the reason I love these diagrams is because we created
these with the intent of helping people visualize exactly how this thought process works with
us and how our thoughts can take us to a good place or a bad place. So the first diagram
that I'll describe for you is what I call truth over lies. And if you would imagine
with me for just a moment a timeline from the left part of your paper to the right part
of your page and we're going to build a timeline and that timeline will follow the direction
of a thought. There are two verses that are at the base of this document or this drawing
and this picture will highlight the two verses. In Romans chapter 12 verse 2 is one of them
and here's what it says. It says, and do not be conformed to this world but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which
is good and acceptable and perfect. Now if you've been with us you know that this is
really a great deal about the way we think because the way we think affects the way we
feel and the way we act. And in this verse Paul, the apostle says to the church at Rome,
he says don't be conformed to the way the world thinks. Don't be conformed to the way
they act. They're all natural individuals, natural men, natural women. They're not really
spiritual men and women. They don't have the insights that you have from God. They don't
have the truth that you have from God. But rather be transformed by the renewing of your
mind. In other words, let your mind dwell on the truth. And when it dwells on the truth
and by that we can also say dwells on the facts. When it dwells on the truth you will
prove the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God. That simply means that as you think
so are you. And the Bible actually says it in that way too. The second verse that's at
the base of this picture is 2 Corinthians chapter 3 verse 5. And I want to just call
attention to one key line of this. It's in the arena of spiritual warfare and it deals
with what we think about and whether it's true or whether it's a lie. And it says we're
destroying speculations, that is the what if questions about life, and we're destroying
every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God. That simply means that we're pulling
down all these thoughts that say God doesn't care about us, God's not going to help us,
God is not going to direct us. We're tearing all that down. But this last line is where
I want to arrive at. It says and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of
Christ. Now that's the line we want to land at. And the reason we want to land there is
because a very key, a big part, a key part of living well and living in health, a key
part of balance is thinking well. And by that I mean we learn to think on the basis of truth
instead of a lie. Even a half lie or a fraction of a lie that's very small can get us off
course if we don't think based on the truth. So really as we think about the timeline of
how we move through our soul, our mind, will and emotions, I want you to remember those
two verses. And then I want you to remember an acrostic. And it's really simple. It is
the word wait, W-A-I-T. It's a word that spells what I do when I don't react immediately.
I wait to react after thinking something through. And the acrostic W-A-I-T stands for what am
I thinking? Now that's a great question to ask yourself. Whenever you have something
happen to you, you learn some information about something, someone says something to
you, you see something, you feel, hear something, and your tendency is to respond immediately
in anger or frustration or anxiety or fear or any number of those things. And you don't
wait long enough to think through whether this is a fact, whether this is truth that
you're hearing. You may hear a partial truth and react wrongly on that partial truth. Or
you may hear it the wrong way or you may hear an actual lie and that lie carries you off
into your emotions and your will, your behavior, and you end up responding that way habitually.
And some people really fall into that trap, into that stronghold. So those two verses
guide us in our thinking. Now when you think about those two verses and you think about
the acrostic weight, W-A-I-T, then you'll have kind of the mental image of what I want
you to see on this map or this drawing, this picture. So let's go back to the center of
the picture or the timeline from left to right. On the very far left of this illustration
is a statement that says, any situation and any belief. Okay? So you can go upward with
that. When you know the truth, the truth will help you move from left to right with correct
thinking, correct feeling, correct acting, and correct results. So the truth and deciding
what the truth is, is a key component to moving forward. That's why it's so important for
us to think through what information we're getting. Think through what someone has said.
Think through what a certain circumstance may be indicating to us. Before we start thinking
deeply, start being emotionally moved, before we act and get the results of that, we want
to make sure that we wait and say, what am I thinking? So on the positive side, if you
take that timeline on the upper part of that, if you think about truth, then you will feel
the appropriate response to that truth and you will act in an appropriate way, which
will result in you being of character in that appropriate way. I'll give some examples in
a minute. Go back to the left side of that timeline and let's take the downside of that.
Let's just say that your first thought that you hear and the first information you get
cannot be verified as truth. You've heard a lie, you've been accused of something, you're
not really sure if that's innocent or guilty accusation. Maybe someone has instantly said
something about you and so you think they have it in for you. So with that faulty thinking,
you're going to move across that timeline from left to right. You're going to think
something that's an error. You're going to feel something that's an error. Then you're
going to act an error. You do that enough, that's who you are. So let's put this in
the context of relationships and keep moving across that timeline from left to right. Let's
just say, and I'm a married man, I've been married for more than 40 years and my wife
and I have had the whole range of conversations that a couple can have. I can remember times
when she said something that I did not fully hear. I thought by her manner and by her tone
of voice, it was somewhat disrespectful or somewhat scorning something I was doing. If
I reacted immediately, then I would begin to think that she's angry at me or upset at
me or disappointed at me. I would begin to feel that she's disappointed at me or angry
and I would begin to act in accordance to that, maybe become defensive, maybe even retaliate.
And if I do that enough, then I fall into the pattern of that's the way I respond when
I'm not really sure what she said. That's the downside of this. So let's just go back
to that moment where she said what she said and I didn't fully understand it. And if
I practice the weight principle, what am I thinking? I would pause long enough to say,
wait a minute, I think I heard what she said, but I can ask a simple question and say, what
did you mean by that? Now, if what she meant by that wasn't negative, it wasn't disrespectful,
it wasn't scornful, then I have a whole different set of responses that I can take. Since I
know now that she was not scorning me, that she was not disrespectful in any way, that
it was not one of those bad situations, I thought it was, but upon asking further, I
realized it wasn't. Now I'm going to think the right kind of thought. Oh, this is what
she's communicating. And then I'll feel the right way. Oh, okay, I have a neutral feeling
about this. This is not positive or negative at all. This is just let's take the next step.
And then I would act in such a way that's appropriate. And that begins to spell out
my character. Now, my character is very different when I respond quickly. And when I respond,
when I respond inaccurately or incompletely to what is said to me, when I respond after
waiting that I'm going to be more accurate on the way I'm thinking, more accurate on
the way I'm responding and feeling and more accurate in who I am. And that builds a great
relationship with someone when we respond with that kind of composure. So the truth
over lies is a really, really important diagram that helps us think through our thinking processes.
Okay, let me take it back to an actual example. In my life a number of years ago, I've talked
openly about having an anger problem when I was growing up. Part of that is tied to
my own hearing loss. I lost my hearing when I was a young boy, if you haven't heard that
story. And in many ways, I felt that that God had not treated me fairly. So I was mad
at God. I also had experienced some disrespect and some rejection by people in my peer group
and so I was pretty sensitive to that. And so when people looked at me in a certain way,
where they made fun of my inability to hear, then I would respond with anger. I remember
going to college and I remember seeing a new group of people that I was interacting with
and meeting and I saw what I thought was that same old, genuine, high behavior that I experienced
when I was a younger guy that infuriated me so much. And I thought I saw that in this
group of guys and girls that I was meeting for the first time. And I had to take a step
back. I thought, oh no, it's happening to me again. I'm going to be rejected again.
I have these hearing aids in my ear. They know I can't hear as well as they can. This
is high school or junior high all over again. But instead of responding immediately, which
would have been a drastic mistake, I paused long enough to say, wait a minute, let me
wait and give them a chance. Let me see if they really are that way. And I entered further
into the conversation and within five minutes I realized they weren't scorning me. They
didn't know me. And yet that look that I picked up on was something that took me back
to my childhood and a whole series, a whole pattern of behavior that responded to being
rejected. I could almost feel the emotions. In fact, I did feel the emotions before I
ever really acknowledged that this was a lie. I felt the emotions of rejection. I felt down.
I felt, oh no, I need to just back away and withdraw here. And that would have been the
wrong kind of behavior based on the wrong kind of data. I would have let my thoughts
go in the wrong direction. Now, on the other hand, because I paused and I stepped into
that conversation, I realized they were very open to a new friendship. I realized they
were not ready to mock or to make fun of me. I realized they were curious and they wanted
to know, tell us your story. Well, I found a set of friends that continued to be my friends
for life as a result of waiting long enough instead of walking away. Okay, so if you follow
that timeline, if you will, of that picture, I waited for truth. I said, what am I thinking?
Waited for truth, stepped into the conversation, realized it wasn't what I thought. And so
I began thinking well. I began to be emotionally balanced and open to them. And then I began
to act that way. I acted as though I were accepted. I acted as though I were a part
of the group. And then it didn't take long for me to just become part of that group because
I wasn't dealing with that negative energy, that negative emotion when you buy into a
lie versus the truth. Now I can go through this in every scenario possible and help us
realize that there is definitely a timeline to how we feel and how we behave based on
what we allow into our minds to be the truth. That we really have to stop that thought.
We have to wait and say, what am I thinking? Now I can take this in a number of different
directions. This timeline works with almost any temptation as well. As you know, the process
of a thought and the process of a temptation and the process of a sin are the same. You
start with a thought in your mind and then you move to the way you feel about something
and then you move to actually how you're going to act on it and you become that whatever
it is. Now that's the first diagram that I wanted to tell you about. And that timeline
is a very, very important timeline for us. And you can ask to see this diagram when you're
free to look at it. It's on our podcast site. So please look at that and that will help
you a little bit with some thoughts. Now I want to introduce you to a second picture
and the second picture is one not of a timeline but of a pendulum. And we've developed this
out of a conversation that I have with my wife and we worked together on this diagram
that allowed us to see the swings that take place when mood swings take place or when
we begin to respond to certain things in our lives. And it really is a helpful thing to
see. So look at this picture, this blank page in your mind if you would for a second, if
you're not able to look at the picture itself. And I want you to imagine a pendulum. Now
for some of us we would say it's not just a pendulum, it's a plumb line. It is a diamond
shape kind of base. It's on a string or a chain. And as you see that in the middle of
the picture, I want you to also see the word God who holds us at the top. We're all connected
to God at the top. And then at the bottom of that pendulum or plumb line, you've got
the word truth, the truth that grounds us. So at the top of the page you have God who
holds us. You see the chain, you see the pendulum, and then at the bottom the truth that grounds
us. I intend for you to see the truth that grounds us as a gravitational kind of force.
And so in that diagram, if you can imagine the arc at which a timeline or rather a pendulum
swings, then you can see that arc beneath the base of that pendulum. And there's a
range of healthy thoughts and emotions. You know, a pendulum is something that is designed
to swing right and left, right and left. Clocks have those pendulums at the bottom. And if
it's in balance, it's an acceptable range of right and left movement, then the clock
remains balanced and it helps actually to tell time and it gives energy to the clock
to continue on. However, if that pendulum swing is so far to the right or so far to
the left, it actually can topple a clock. It can put it out of balance, it won't tell
time anymore, it's out of sync with the whole purpose for which it's there. So that pendulum
or that plumb line is the picture that we're looking at. You know, we're created to be
emotional people. We're created to have good kinds of emotions. We're created to be afraid
when we need to be afraid, even though it shouldn't dominate us. We're created to have
patience or kindness. We're created to be glad or excited, to have hope and to be happy.
We're created to have concern where concern needs to be expressed. We're created to love,
to rejoice. It's normal to also be sad. There's a whole range of emotions that we have and
that was healthy thoughts and emotions are in that range of the pendulum. Now you know
this as well as I do. When the truth grounds us, that our pendulum swings are going to
be more and more centered on truth than anything else. Circumstances, things that happen to
us, things that people say to us, lies we believe can push us off course and out of
balance. And when that happens, our pendulum swings wider and wider and wider and in doing
so it puts us out of balance. So if you would just imagine a short range, a small range
that that pendulum is swinging back and forth, an appropriate range with all those good emotions,
good thoughts that I've already described. Now imagine that a lie begins to influence
that pendulum, a wind or waves that push it off balance. Things said, things done, things
experienced, things feared begin to move that pendulum out of balance, wider to the right
or wider to the left. At some point, every one of us is affected by lies that damage
us. In 2 Corinthians chapter 10 verses 3 through 5 there's an amazing description with four
words that talk about lies that damage us. And those four words are strongholds, which
are basically habitual patterns of sin, speculations, which are the questions what if in worst
case scenarios in our mind. Lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God is another
descriptor and that deals with the wrong views of God. God doesn't love me, God doesn't
care about me, God doesn't know about me instead of the right view of God. And then uncaptivated
thoughts. Now in recent podcasts we've talked about that we are to take every thought captive
to the obedience of Christ and these uncaptivated thoughts are thoughts we haven't taken captive
to the obedience of Christ. So strongholds, speculations, wrong views of God, uncaptivated
thoughts can push us off balance. So go back to that picture again that I'm painting. There's
a pendulum at the top, God who holds us, at the bottom the truth that grounds us. It's
a gravitation of force that should keep us in the range where we can have healthy thoughts
and healthy emotions and build healthy relationships. Everybody is able to be in that range. By
the power of God we are able to be and stay in that range almost all of the time. And
that lets us build healthy relationships with other people, healthy relationships with God.
But once lies begin to dominate us and our thinking, once we allow them into our mind,
they can be old habit patterns like those strongholds describe or speculations of what
ifs, the wrong views of God or uncaptivated thoughts we get blown off course and the pendulum
swings wider and wider and wilder and wilder and more and more unbalanced. And this is
where mood swings take place so easily. On the happy side of that, on the right side
of that document, that picture, people can become thrill seeking, fanatical, obsessed,
they can experience impulsive behavior. If they're pushed off course in that direction
they become reckless. Chemical abuse can take place, they're agitated, sexual promiscuity,
they're seeking the thrill. All those things on the far right side of that pendulum are
the result of lies that damage us and complicate some relationships that we're in. Now that's
the energetic side. Move over to the non-energetic side, the far left. And those same kinds of
lies, strongholds, speculations, wrong views of God, uncaptivated thoughts, can create
in us the mood and the responses of withdrawal, anger, hopelessness, depression, feelings
of worthlessness, denials of reality, bitterness, destructive thoughts, suicidal impulses. All
of those are outside the healthy range of thoughts and emotions that build healthy relationships.
They're all unhealthy and they're all brought to that place by the swings of the pendulum
that create moods that complicate relationships. So this is an incredible diagram to me as
it describes what needs to ground us, which is truth, and what can blow us off course,
which are the lies. And the fact that God holds us, no matter where we are on that timeline
and where we are on that pendulum, that we have to let the truth he gives us ground us.
That's where healthy relationships are. That's the range of healthy thoughts and emotions.
And every time we ignore that reality, the strong gravitational pull of the truth of
God's Word, the strong gravitation of facts to guide us instead of wild responses, when
we allow that to happen, we live in a bounce life. But when we don't, we're having the
mood swings to the far right or to the far left with all kinds of complications for relationships.
We're living in an unhealthy way. Our mental health is compromised and our soul is compromised
in so many different ways. So I want you to have these diagrams, if you will, in your
mind. That's why I say a picture is worth a thousand words. And here I am trying to
describe these pictures in far more than a thousand words. But when you look at it, I
hope it makes sense to you and I hope it helps you calculate the cost of not grounding your
thoughts in the truth and the expense of letting lies damage you and damage the relationships
that you're in today. Of course, our goal in the prospering soul is to help you live
a balanced life with God holding you and with the truth grounding you. And you keep that
in mind as you encounter different experiences, different thoughts, different statements,
different things that happen to you in your circumstances. Keep in mind, you can be grounded
in the truth. You can be held by God and stay in that balance scale, which brings healthy
relationships. That's my goal for you. We'll talk more about these verses we talked about
in the future podcast. Thank you so much for joining us. I hope you stay with us in future
episodes.