Hey everybody, welcome back to the All Bros podcast episode 184 of the Hitman's Bodyguard's Wife.
It's your old pal DJ Vic is gone. He is deceased. He has been snapped away by Thanos.
He did have one good opinion about Jack Black and Kyle Gass and I appreciate him for that.
But we lay Vic to rest as the guy who was almost the next All Bro.
It's me now. I'm the most guested and the next All Bro.
Caleb and Rose, how are you guys doing today? It's good to have you on my new podcast. How's it going?
Super great. Super great. Yeah. This is amazing.
This is the untrained eye takeover but only the half of the untrained eye is here.
Bethany sends her best wishes to you both.
Oh, we miss Beth.
Hopefully next time we collaborate she can be here.
Yeah, she'll be like DJ stop. Stop messing with their show. Let them do their thing.
I'll let you do the real intro now.
What up bros? Welcome to the All Bros podcast. I'm Caleb.
And I'm Jonathan.
And we are joined by special guest fourth unofficial or not fourth third.
I don't know. Whatever bro number you are.
It's number one in the hearts but it's number three on the charts. Hey, hi. It's DJ your third
favorite bro here to take his rightful place from Victor. That's right. I'm using your full
government name Victor of the Crash and Taz podcast who thinks that he's going to overtake me
as most favorite most guested and he'll never do it. I'm DJ from the untrained eye and I've come
to steal from Victor. Hello everyone.
Oh, this is going to be a great episode guys.
Welcome to the All Bros podcast. Rose and I are a couple of aspiring filmmakers that love to watch
and critique movies but also enjoy a lot of bit of the nerd life. This week on the podcast in
Funko focus we have a couple new figures to talk about. Actually there's a lot of figures to talk
about but all of them are coming in one pack so yeah so we have that to talk about. Rose has some
concerns from Funko or for Funko and then moving on to through the wall we have a new trailer for
a new Star Wars series coming out and then we're going to be discussing what if a little bit and
then after that we'll get into this week's headliner where we'll be breaking down the
hitman's wife's bodyguard. So without further ado let's get into it. So now. No.
I do it better than me.
I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.
Hello my name is Brooker and I want to talk to you about my fun horror podcast called
Autopsy Before Movie. Each week I will talk about a different horror movie through one or two ways
either a kill grade episode where I come up with a cool rubric to grade the kills in each movie.
I'll talk about the style the method and how impactful it was on me. At the end of the episode
I'll rank all the kills and tell you which ones are my favorite and which ones I thought sucked.
I do also like to get a little academic with the movies and do more of what I call a horror review.
I will talk about what was good what was bad what types of psychological fears the movie plays off
of and what I thought was the scariest part of the movie while also throwing in some interpretation
and wacky theories for the movie. You can find my podcast anywhere you listen to podcasts and new
episodes come out on Tuesdays. Also if you're a YouTube fan these episodes are made available
48 hours early on my YouTube channel at Autopsy Before Movie. Please be sure to follow me on
Instagram and Twitter at Brooker Horror or email me at Brookerhorror at gmail.com to let me know
your thoughts and interpretations or if you have a movie of requests you'd like for me to do.
Please rate, review, and subscribe and I hope you get to enjoy the show.
Alrighty first up in Funko Focus. Rose I want to hear your thoughts.
First like this figure this figure I feel came out of nowhere at least from you from you so I want
to hear what you have to say about this one. Okay so I don't know why this is like concerns me so
much but so you know Funko has done you know some interesting choices you know you think that Funko
would be more family friendly but they've entered into the like the horror world they've done you
know Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, all those classic horror characters and I know they've
decided to do like retro toy kind of stuff so like they've done Rock'em Sock'em Robots you know just
doing all that stuff I did not expect them to do the piece that you have with the Ouija board.
I did not expect Funko to want us to try to contact the other side.
Um can I just say real quick right now currently if you look do you see how my
eyes are looking off camera in this direction I am looking directly at a bloody knife being held by
a small good guy doll so I'm just saying it is a possessed doll by a grown man serial killer
holding a bloody knife that's what I'm currently looking at with my eyes.
See that's why I think I'm like this is this truly showcases why I'm weird because that's just fine
like oh you know like more power to Funko but an actual Ouija board piece stop the presses that's
just too much. PS if I uh move my gaze over to the left and look directly in front of me
zombie Black Panther that's what I'm looking at. By the way both of these are in pop form
they're not just hanging out in my studio uh so yeah I like that what what about the Ouija piece
wigs you out the hardest? Uh I don't know just I mean I've never done I've never used one nor do
I plan to um so I don't know that kind of stuff just like kind of like a little scares me kind of
freaks me out so like that they actually made a Funko pop of it it's just wow. So what actually
that's called the Ouija board the Ouija board thing like the whole setup like you you have to
do it with someone else right that's like a rule. Uh you know what I don't know let's ask the Parker
Brothers I just want to again say and I have another pop even further to my left that says
devil Flanders and it's Flanders as the devil not dressed as the devil he's got a little he's got
hoof and feet and he's got little horns sticking up out of his head that are his his own horns
go on Ouija yeah so this it isn't like okay I think you're like misinterpret like or
misrepresenting this figure because it's the Ouija board piece that like whatever the weird
triangular piece is but it has like a face on it but he is also holding a smaller Ouija board in his
hand uh I didn't realize that and I may now have to get that yeah so it's it like it's your concern
that people are going to use that figure on their Ouija boards or no my concern is what if kids you
know you know they're like to their parents oh mom can I get this figure no son you can't well why
not what's a Ouija board and then you know parents will have to be like oh hell no I ain't telling my
kid what that is or you know what Timmy this is what a Ouija board is yeah heaven forbid you have
to talk to your child yeah I know exactly you say that can your child even talk yet uh that's a no
that's a hard no okay she has a couple words here and there but a lot it's baby speak so
can I tell you she cannot speak like an adult I will tell you this like I don't know if you've
seen kids go from babies to adults uh and even though my nephews aren't adults yet like I held
them when they were mere hours old and now I have conversations with them and I'm like how do you
even exist like you're you're just a little glow worm and now you're just speaking to me with your
own thoughts you have thoughts what's even what is your deal kid you're 10 fair enough
yeah I I've never quite experienced that like I've had cousins like younger like baby cousins
so I've seen them as often as we've traveled to visit them so it's like every year I kind of like
it gets more and more like conversational and yeah so like this is my first experience going from
from being with someone from birth to adulthood to person because by the way person they are not a
person until they're like listen let me tell you about let me tell you about life dad let me tell
you all about what life is like and you're like you're six and they're like yeah it's about
cheese sticks and chocolate milk sit down and let me tell you a tale about what life is really all
about Caleb you'll be like you call me father what are you doing dude I'm just waiting for
the day when she's like four or five years old and she's just like I give her some food and she's
like well I was listening to this podcast about how unethical milk is so and then like pushes it
away and like I'm not drinking that like it's goats milk they like it just waiting for that
because I know it's coming like I talk about podcasts all the time she's gonna look up what
podcasts are and she's going to find some and I'm pretty sure they're not going to be
LeVar Burton's reading rainbow that's hilarious so ouija placards what does that thing called you
think it's got a name the planchard do have a name I think it's that's what it's called and
yeah but a point I was trying to make earlier I don't have like if if you have to do that with
someone like if you have to use a Ouija board with someone I don't trust anyone in my life enough to
not mess with me like I don't think they would go in it with it with genuine intention like I would
oh I would oh absolutely oh I would yeah you would go in it with me genuine intention trying to
communicate with the spirit or would you try and mess with me oh sorry I thought you meant
genuinely mess with you yeah sorry oh yeah that's what I would expect from everyone so I wouldn't
believe a single thing like some we could actually be communicating with the spirit you could swear
on the life of your children that you did not do anything like you just had your hands placed on
there and moved with whatever spirit was moving you I would never believe you I mean as you
shouldn't because I don't have children so I couldn't swear on them may I just say the the
piece the actual piece the one that they are making the papa of is called a planchette but
when I just typed in a Ouija plan it filled in planchette but the very first thing that you can
buy if you would like to buy an Ouija board is a stranger things branded Ouija board by Hasbro
of course so there you go that's what I'm getting you for Christmas Rose
you can communicate with old saint the spirit of old saint nick because spoiler alert kids
Santa Claus died in 1992 that's right I saw the Santa Claus go ahead
can I communicate with Krampus instead yeah by the way the fact that you're worried about
funko making people commune or like what is it uh uh uh glorifying communing with the death
the fact that you would pick Krampus is amazing because doesn't he just like rip his hair off
like rip people in half king shark style isn't that his whole deal uh dude he has a pop figure
where he has a kidnapped child in his sack I mean considering in the movie he makes all of his
minions do the work so I don't know if he would actually rip someone in half so I've never seen
Krampus I only know the tale of Krampus I've never seen the movie dude I'm teaching my kid about
Krampus dude like she's gonna get to that age where she's just like I've like she's gonna go
from like I don't believe in Santa and I'm gonna be like oh well you know who you should believe
in Krampus he is very real do you want to lose your mom and dad didn't think so
all of a sudden she's in the living room summoning Krampus with an ouija board
take them away they wouldn't give me a PlayStation 7 I hate those guys
the conversations I'm gonna have with my children as they get older is gonna be insane
I don't believe in Santa well you should believe in Krampus and they're and Krampus is gonna come
take us away and you're gonna be orphan and guess what we're not rich enough for you to become Batman
so what are you gonna do dude perfect idea for one Christmas if she's if Iris is bad you guys hide
on Christmas morning I will send personally as my gift to her the Krampus bell and there we go just
she's gonna be traumatized for life I see no no problems with this plan Iris if you're listening
to this in the future your uncle loves you but this might be a little fun or I'll just like get
a hotel room for me and my wife for the night and then just look make it look like we struggled out
oh it doesn't snow in Georgia shit that was like 90% of my plan to make it look like there was a
struggle visit Utah for that year visit Utah for that year and then you know we can still that's
not gonna work my parents would freaking lose their mind if they knew I did that wait did you
say your parents or her parents my parents hey if your parents it wouldn't let me get away with that
be like hey I didn't tell you how to raise your kid don't tell me how to raise mine
I am fairly certain that would not go over no it would not
do your parents listen to this show by the way they do not my mom thank God yeah my mom does not
listen to podcasts at all she only listens to conservative talk radio and my dad thinks that
podcasting is a waste of time and effort and so he thinks my our podcast is stupid he's told us
more he's told or at least he told me multiple times he's just like why don't you do something
productive I think I want to have him as a guest on dragging the table and do not oh oh oh ye of
little faith I would love to have him on a bike let's do a deep dive on Caleb's dad hey Caleb's
dad let's drag the table dude I tell everyone I'm like do you just want your self-esteem
completely crushed I'll talk with my dad about something you enjoy no but he is seriously so
right because like when I've been at work this was like years ago when we first started doing
the podcast but I would run into your dad at work and he's just be like hey so you guys still doing
the podcast yeah it's like oh you know how is it wasting your life away or doing something that
waste your time like damn you know what it's going great I'm loving it but damn is your dad
my mom is that what's happening right now is your does your dad moonlight as my mother dude and
it's like I think what's worse about it is he'll he'll act like he's showing a genuine interest
like we it was like 4th of July we were hanging out together and he was asking me about he's just
like how's the like you still doing the podcast I'm like yeah and he's like like how are you how is
how's that going like yeah yeah like see I was just super just like like defensive because like
I freaking love doing this podcast it's like it's my baby and here's what's gonna happen here's
what's gonna have our sir dad didn't mean that I'm gonna have your dad on dragging the table he's
gonna be my try and triumphant return to doing that show again you're gonna give me all the dirt
that I need so that at the opportune moments I can just 360 dunk on him and be like well why do
you do this then cuckoo and he'll be like oh is this what it feels like and I'll be like yes that
is what it feels like go hug your son and tell him you love him I don't know if that would work
cuz he's like I've tried dude dunking on him or yeah like so he's he's like he'll sit there and
he'll ask he's like so like what what does the podcast do to make you like money and I'm like
I don't do it for money I do it for fun and he's like does it cost you money and I'm like a little
bit does he get anything from mowing the lawn okay he doesn't know he pays someone to mow the lawn
okay well why are you paying someone to do it when you could do it yourself what do you lazy
you lazy bum you lazy bones yeah I've tried so much with that he's just like cuz I can afford
to that's why or cuz he'll just like I don't understand why you would do something if it's
not bringing you an income and I'm like you ride a Harley like it does that bring you an income
does he text you and he's like my dad yeah no oh that's okay I haven't texted or called my
mother in close to a decade so let's see listen this is an off-air discussion but I'm gonna figure
out how we're gonna we're gonna dunk on your dad so hard that they are gonna hear it they were gonna
hear it on the other coast Rose is gonna call you and be like did it happen you're gonna be like
yeah it happened and yeah yeah we don't I mean I guess at that point I can die happy I'm just
kidding I'm kidding Kato dude it is so freaking hard that's I keep everything like so close to
my the chest now when I do anything that I enjoy like I'm so hesitant about like sending a picture
or like asking for help like I was so I need help wiring electrical out in my shed and it was just
like a matter of like getting a wire hooked up and I wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna shock
the shit out of myself and so I was just like hey how do I go about doing this and he's like well
did you check the breaker and I'm like yeah and he's like well is there any power going to it I'm
like no not that I can tell and he's like what do you mean and I'm like I can like touch the wire
and it doesn't shock me and he's like okay just connect the two he's like what are you stupid
like just do it and like just has it just has a way of making me what do you mean away it's
not like he's subtle what how may I ask this is a completely different show now and I apologize
but how old is your dad good question is he older than 60 no he is I don't think he's he's
it shit how old is he 49 49 or in it no that's not right cuz I'm 25 he was born in in 19 this
is not gonna help I'm not gonna 72 wait he's there he's how old am I he's yeah he's 49 yeah
that's how old he is listen I can't make this the smack talking Vic and your dad podcast so
it's kind of focus I hear there's a new art series of fun goes coming out to spear back
into traffic we can get into that we can get into that yeah I apologize to all the regular
listeners that I just started doing my own show over here and started grilling people
about stuff that wasn't movies yeah so there's an Avenger six pack coming out on Amazon that
we're gonna talk about it is that the art series and it has all six of the original Avengers all
color to look like Infinity Stones but they're not like there I'm pretty sure they're not chrome
like the the other ones that they've done like with the the Thanos and Hulk right I know they
kind of look like the material they use for like the Sour Patch Kids yeah like almost like a gel
or something they're not gel but like it looks like gel but hard okay I don't know so what's
what's the art part of it is just I think it's because they have a design I'm gonna I'm gonna
I'm trying to find it right okay let me see so it's 60 bucks you're you can still pre-order it
now I'm like on the fence of whether I want to order this but it looks like let me see this
picture so it's our in art series because each each of so it's got Thor it looks like Thor and
he is purple whatever stone that correlates to Captain America is all blue to go with the
blue stone scar or what's her face black widow red all red Hawkeye orange Hulk green got him and
Iron Man yellow so I don't know what those stones correspond to but that's the Hawkeyes the soul
stone I appreciate that because he tried to sacrifice himself and couldn't why won't they
give Hawkeye a break in those movies they're like hey man you could almost be a hero and they're
like nah it's still black widow yeah like I'm trying to figure out what like the art is but
it just looks like they're painted like a galaxy I mean I like the different shade I like the way
it looks but the idea they were kind of sold separately because I like I wish that you could
buy the whole pack if you wanted to but if you wanted to you could also buy them separately
because I'm sorry the only one I want is Hawkeye and I I can't buy him now dude what's are all I'm
trying to figure out what these poses are because the Iron Man one looks new I mean he just seems
to be like standing there like Superman style just arms at his hips someone posted the best
comment with it what going on off that they're just like oh you know everyone everyone looks
super ready for battle and then there's Iron Man and then there's Iron Man you're not wrong
I'm I want to close up on on these figures because I want to see what these poses are
because I know the the Hulk one he it looks like the Avengers endgame where he the figure I really
don't like where he's in that weird leotard Hawkeye looks like his his endgame figure black widow
looks like hers cap I can't quite figure out what caps is like is that I'm so with his endgame so I
noticed Thor yeah I'm sorry and then Thor I'm trying to figure out what his is I think they
might all be endgame because like what what's the cause Hawkeye and Hulk for sure look like endgame
do you know Rose I see you yeah sorry no sorry I just want to so I think I figured this out so
when any game was first released with the first wave of Funko pops they had them all in their
quantum realm suits so this is basically it like you know the Hulk is in his quantum realm Hawkeye
is in his quantum realm black widow cap and then Thor they did change a little bit but he's still
in his quantum realm suit he just has the long hair now and then with Iron Man's they took the
one because Iron Man's it was just Tony Stark in the quantum realm suit so now they're just like
okay well let's just take that pose and turn it in to put the helmet on and I'm like searching all
through this this like post or whatever on Amazon and it just is like it's giving all the no
information it's like hey man how many times can we say it's the pop artist infinity saga six-pack
a lot way more than six that's that's an interesting like a selection like I want to see what the poses
are because Thor's looks different like I don't remember him looking like that like isn't the end
game where he's in the the quantum realm suit doesn't he have short hair in that one yeah so
the only difference with this one still same pose but instead of having those short hair he has long
hair just to kind of I guess make actually make it like movie accurate because when he is in his
quantum realm suit he does have long hair he is fat Thor technically dude like what almost sold me
on this and like almost made me want to buy it was when I saw that like he had where he had the long
hair and Stormbreaker I thought for a second that he had the it was the one with Mjolnir you know
what I would say about this this six-pack is like tech you know it's six you're getting six pops
it's technically only ten bucks a pop and if you are like I think if you don't have any if you've
never gotten one Funko pop at all but you are like a big fan of Marvel and you're like what is a good
entry point like get this like it'll look cool whether you leave it in the box or not like it'll
be like a cool thing to have and look at but if you're like some of us on this podcast right now
and you have so many Funko pops that you don't even dare count them anymore for for fear of the
shame that will wash over you you just you look at that and go huh that's interesting I'm glad
an Amazon has this exclusive that's how I feel about these pops dude I'm still trying to figure
out what I'm doing with my space to put up all my figures so this one it's just like I want it so
bad but it's all I can't justify dropping 60 bucks on something no it's especially something
like that because I like getting my figures individually or one at a time or or whatever
so buying them in bulk like that is really tough which I mean the disc is because I've been wanting
to get that Avengers assemble collection where they're all worth like a bunch of different
pieces and they like it's a is it the assemble or is it that swarm of scene or they're both
the same I wanted the the assemble I didn't quite want the the shawarma just because I'd
rather have one with Hulk in it not stupid little banner damn dude I freaking hate banner
for me towards Ruffalo I know dude I know my ain't my anger should be directed at the Russo
Brothers for what they did to the Hulk but I'm not super thrilled with with banner so I'm taking
it out on him for breaking the Hulk so yeah I'd rather have the Hulk in in that collection than
the than the banner one in the shawarma so you heard that all bros out there all you bros out
there the coming this Christmas Caleb would like the the Hulk pop so if you can just make that
happen for him that would be great if we're gonna have the Hulk one I just need everyone else well
I mean listen they they can either buy you the whole thing or they can just send you the Hulk
by itself and I would like to make a birthday wish or Christmas wish please get the happy happy joy
joy of Ren and Stimpy two-pack for me it only costs $165 and I would really enjoy it because
you made me think of like are there like two packs that I would like and the only two packs
or like multi packs that I would like you know rather than just one pot by itself and Beth would
for sure like the dirty dancing one because there is one with baby and Johnny like in one one package
and I think her and I both would enjoy the Ren and Stimpy one so I'm just saying Christmas is right
around the corner dude it honestly feels like it with how fast this year's been going by it's
September basically yeah it's September basically the greatest month of all the whole year where we
all get to get together and go never forget are you guys gonna do oh my god will you guys please
do flight 97 for 9-eleven is that what the movie was called remember right after 9-eleven they were
like how can we capitalize on this and make some money and they had like flight 97 or whatever flight
it was that crashed into the Pentagon they they were like why don't we make a movie about this
and it'll be where everyone knows what happens at the end kind of like Titanic oh man I'm pretty
sure it's called flight 97 because I have a DJ's out to get us canceled I've only heard a United
93 that's the only way is that what I'm thinking of in my but flight 93 is the one that was headed
towards the White House but they crashed I think I got two movies conflated because there is a
United 93 in a flight 93 and I just put a 90 in there and I think United 93 is what I'm thinking
of rated R cuz they all die at the end so incredible movie I don't know if you two have
seen it but I mean listen I saw it cry every time I saw it the one time when it came out and I was
still too young to I don't know probably take that as seriously as I should have and I was like what
are we doing what are we doing how long did it take to make a Titanic movie and we're like let's
make this movie about these people that there's no possible all I could think of when I was
watching that movie is the only part for sure that we know happened is when they play the black box
stuff at the end because everything else they're playing people's conversations and all this stuff
and I'm like this is nothing like this is just some weird interpretation of what they think might
have happened on this plane and it's I still to this day think about that movie and it's a very I
feel like it's a super odd thing to have done especially that close to the actual 9-eleven it
came out I think like not even like five years after 2006 is when it came out they were like hey
is the ground still smoldering well we came out with this cool movie so I know um was it I think
like Paul Greengrass the director like he actually had to like go around to like all the families
that had people on that plane just to make sure that it wasn't too soon I don't believe that not
for one second I feel like that's something that they said in the audio commentary on the DVD do
sorry I'm looking through the trivia now to see if it says anything about it there's if yeah
honestly like thinking about it like if if I were to put myself in the shoes of one of those family
members I would tell him no but I would still not watch and if he like released the movie anyway I
wouldn't watch it the filmmakers donated you would think that this would all proceeds would be donated
to some kind of a fun donated a percentage of the open of the opening weekend proceeds that's a
flight 93 to the memorial in Shanksville Pennsylvania they donated over 1.15 million well there you go
they did it it's a hey everybody it's next month it's United 93 on the all bros starring Vic he's
back he said he wanted to win and be the most guested so he's got to do United 93 next month
apparently our most controversial was was last week dude I have so far about all the things I
have so many opinions so many opinions I've been really I finally read listen to your breakdown
because we watched freaky and I listened to your guys's assessment of it got some opinions about
that what else the Suicide Squad so many opinions about that one too I have never I listen for all
of you listening now I asked probably moments too late to be on the show and I have never
regretted being delayed more in my life than when I listened to the Suicide Squad episode and said
come on you guys it's not that bad the polka dot man was for sure supposed to die when he realized
he literally turns to the camera says I'm a superhero and then immediately dies he had to
die in that moment he was no longer a villain like he was doing the super right thing that was a
great choice to kill him in that moment how about how about how many times have you ever
cried when a rat just nestled itself on someone's kneecap you never did until this movie okay how
you say how was that not character development I mean listen King Shark King Shark he went from
only knowing his own body parts to like later on he was like bird he knew something outside of
himself that wasn't a nom nom we're seeing character development we're seeing story being
pushed forward we're seeing music being used in a way that compared to the first Suicide Squad the
first Suicide Squad David Ayer should be embarrassed embarrassed the fact that that man keeps saying
release the air cut no no nobody wants to see it we saw the air cut and we didn't like it unanimously
we like the James Gunn cut there's gonna be there's it by the way you're gonna get there is a Suicide
Squad moment in the hitman's wife's bodyguard just so we're all clear on that one of my favorite
moments in the movie when they had a they had a team a team B situation and they were like yeah
man we hired you guys to be the diversion and okay and in case I don't get to say it I got to
say it now so what you guys said about the end of freaky you were like everything was good up until
as it turns out Vince Vaughn's character lived and he came back and he tried to kill them and
like that kind of brought the movie on a little too far while I don't disagree technically with
that like I feel like they the people making that movie and everyone involved knew that that movie
was most likely never gonna get a sequel and so I think that that part that happened where he came
back to life and attacked them and all that other stuff happened that should have been an after credit
scene that happened but I think that that is like what would happen in any because they they hit so
many tropes in that movie that I think the the guy actually lived and he came back to attack them in
the next you know Halloween 2 or whatever you know freaky 2 that that tracked to me really hard with
that movie like that that made perfect sense for what they were trying to do and knowing that that
was gonna be really their only shot to do it so I've said my piece guys this was a great show I'll
see you next time that's fair I mean I think it would have definitely worked better as an end
credit for sure but yeah I think it was just how immediate after everything kind of concluded that
they tried doing that that just threw off the pacing so I think that yeah as an end credit that
would have worked way better yeah and by the way if you're stupid like me and you're listening
right now and you have not watched freaky yet turn everything off and go watch freaky it's such a good
movie it doesn't even make sense it doesn't make sense how good that movie is it should not on
paper that movie is garbage and somehow they make it real and they make it good go watch it yeah
he's absolutely yeah that's freaking awesome Vince Vaughn plays a teenage girl freaking what's his
face Cameron from Ferris Bueller's day off gets cut in half I mean listen you can't ask for much
more than that by the way I will say this to anyone who is wondering about that movie shockingly
gory like I was not ready for it to be as gory as it was and I was okay with it but I was like whoa
like I was like okay I guess we're just going all in right away huh I'm sorry what if go ahead
no I'm sorry we're still on Funko focus oh I tip the hand well we can we can move on though to
through the wall so just real quick I don't know how much you guys have to say about it but I am
super excited for this new Star Wars project that they're releasing later this month actually Star
Wars vision it is September it is September just talking about how it's September basically so
later this so Caleb your statement still stands yeah not as much as it did but I'm super freaking
excited for this series they have seven different anime studios working on nine different stories
that they're gonna tell in the Star Wars universe but it's in anime form and I could not be more
excited about it because I've always thought Star Wars would make a excellent anime and I'm
not even the biggest fan of anime in general like there's a few here and there that I really like
but I've always found it really hard to kind of get into it but Star Wars I'm all in especially
with the shit that they showed I mean what yeah it's uh I don't know like what are your like Rose
what are your animes like do you have one that you're like I'm okay with that one and it can't be
avatar because you haven't watched it yet I watched I'm I'm getting there where are you at what's the
Fire Lord's name why do you all got to test me on names what is it because I believe horrible
things what is Ang's flying bison's name but no are you shitting me you haven't even watched you
haven't watched a single episode I'm you have you haven't watched a single damn episode
that's what it is thank you what's this line that's basically what's this flying monkey's
name have you got to the flying monkey yet have they made it to the air temple he's definitely
made it to the what's the monkey's name god damn it how am I forgetting these I'll give you see
you're lying Jo Jo Jo it is not that I know no that's a hint it's not Momo is it it's it is Momo
dude that was basically a Beth level trivia by the way I don't know when exactly like we just did
that started doing that trivia on our show because we thought it was fun and apparently that has like
overtaken as like the thing that the show is actually about is everyone getting frustrated
that Beth gives great hints and I cannot get any of the hints dude I okay when this is total side
note with your with the trivia with Beth's with Beth's hints unless you get it like really quick
I don't know the answers to a lot of the questions that you you guys ask like there's maybe been like
one or two that I've been able to guess but I've I've been able to figure it out way faster than
you based off of Beth's based off of Beth's hints I would just like to say unequivocally because
people people seem to think that I'm like putting it on and like I am drawing it out further because
like I'm like it'd be funnier if I just didn't know I'm that dumb folks like I truly don't know
the answers if I knew I would say it as quick as possible and I would brag about it but I don't know
so I like to tack on Titan what about you Rose I still have not watched that no I mean like what
was what is your like if you have one anime that you're forced to watch like what would you pick
probably Dragon Ball because I was kind of forced to watch that at Caleb's house listen that's fair
we all were forced to watch that at my house if I had to force you guys to watch one I don't
remember much of it anymore because I think it's been like since I was in high school or college
whenever I watched it but cowboy bebop I remember being very good that one has good things about
cowboy bebop it's good honestly if that was on like a streaming service I already had because
I can't get any more I've got too many I would watch that I would watch that again all of this
to say that the visions thing much like I feel like the way that they're doing it is kind of
like how Netflix did their love sex and robots how they just had like all these little like mini
vignettes of different anime animation studios that would do just tell all these different stories
it's in that vein of like hey listen there's all these Star Wars stories to tell there's all these
different people that would want to do it we can do these one-off stories and I don't know that
I'm necessarily a fan of like the cutesier looking ones but I had a buddy tell me I love that they're
doing this and I'll tell you why I had a buddy tell me like a couple years ago and I don't know
why it never hit me he was like he was like the original trilogy are some of the best what did
he how did he say it samurai movies in space that I've ever seen and I was like oh my god I was
like those are straight-up like samurai movies in space like that's what it is like they're old
like not quite kung fu movies but I don't know Ronin's I don't know enough about ancient whatever
but it made sense cuz I'm like oh look the guy the white belt old Skywalker over there just an
idiot farm kid and then old man old man swordsmith comes up and is like yo your dad was crazy bro
take this sword and let's get out of here and he's like an adventure I would love to go on an
adventure I don't know what I'm doing at this point listen visions look great so yeah I'm super
excited for the the the lightsaber battles I think those looks super cool and I love like the the new
lightsaber styles that were getting like there was one at the very end of the trailer that it looked
like multiple whips coming and grabbing this girl's lightsabers was that that or was that the girl
that was like instead of being a droid she actually had six arms and seemed to be doing a general
grievous on somebody or grievous on somebody I think it was her she had like multiple but it
looked like they turned into whips and like we're just wrapped around whoever her name is gonna be
I'm just glad we're not gonna wait long for this the end of the month same here yeah I just love
like the action that they showed us like the dude with the freaking lightsaber umbrella yeah oh yeah
that was so so or the like dope all these little things like just made me super pumped like the guy
or the dude stop in the the stun blasts throat with the troopers in front of them I'm like oh
they f'd up you know what's funny is that was one of the scenes that I was like yes I'm glad you
brought that up because I I did think it was cool the the blaster bolt being stopped in midair and
when he stopped he stopped the the lightsaber like with the force with his hands like right
oh my gosh dude in half dude this is gonna be awesome and the cool thing I think will be about
it too that I hope we find out about it I hope none of this is gonna be like you know quote-unquote
cannon or maybe it's happening like way on the other side of the galaxy and we'll just never
know where these people are so that we can see like all this cool crazy force stuff that doesn't
necessarily have to show up in Mandalorian or you know once we get the new sequel trilogy that'll
be the real one and not the one we got which was not the real one and you know any other movies we
might see I stand by the force awakens I stand by that those three movies are from three separate
trilogies from three separate dimensions okay like those three didn't belong together and somehow
they were mashed together in this fourth dimension where we had to see all of them connect together
in a way that we were all unanimously like what even Mark Hamill was like huh I'm the Joker and
this doesn't make sense oh but that's all I had to say about that I'm just super excited for the
series which is and it was significant to me because of how not big a fan of anime I am I
agree like that like with I've only ever watched Dragon Ball I watched one punch man which was
super weird yeah it would be more of like an existential show like not a superhero show but
just a guy about being sad that he can kill everybody yeah like he just seems so bummed out
about that stuff and when the solution you could just not work out like if you have to do that
shit every day to be as strong as you are just don't yeah but he's gonna bum you out he's
punched so many people one time that he has so many enemies he has to keep doing it I've never
seen the show this is just my assumption yeah it's super anti climatic climactic because it'll he'll
punch someone that comes shows like a big threat they'll they fricked explode and then they have
like two or three episodes of buildup of like this ultimate villain and he seriously one punch
destroys him while his like he has like this apprentice that goes and then he has like a big
fight with them gets his ass whooped and then he comes in and just one punches them and is like
that's it I'm like what's what the hell like this is such man yeah like this is such bullshit and
like the whole series like wraps around like every like there are superheroes there's like an agency
that gives you a superhero rating on how powerful of a hero you are but he's like one of the lowest
because no one believes that he actually does what he does that's hilarious I may like is this is
this a many seasons show or is it one of those like one-offs I only watched whatever was on Hulu
at the time and it seemed like it was only like ten episodes I would watch ten episodes of that I
would not watch a hundred and seventy three thousand one piece episodes everyone who watches one piece enough we get it you like pirates yeah it's like no joke it's just someone comes in lays our reeks havoc on on the city everyone in the city is just like oh my gosh we need these
a list heroes and the a list heroes come get their asses whooped and then one punch man comes and punches
them and like something happens or someone says something like he did this where it was like some
dude wasted like half the city and then he comes and punches the dude in the face and he his face
explodes all over the place and then some like all these bystanders are looking on this guy and one of
them just like oh well he must have not been that strong that he just destroyed half your city asshole I want something I want one punch man to be folded into the DC universe and much like there was a remember how there was like I don't know if it would be called a what if or what but there was like a Deadpool versus the Marvel universe and he just kills everyone including the writers like I want one punch man versus the DC universe
and just one punches everybody in the face and he starts with Robin right in front of Batman just
I'd pay to see that that'd be hilarious and that's my soft pitch Marvel what it earned sorry DC what if oh yeah so speaking of what if DJ you
wanted to talk about the first episode of Marvel's what if yeah I if you haven't seen the first episode of Marvel's what if starring Captain Carter as Captain Carter just go ahead and skip forward I guess an hour because I talked too much that was a really good episode and I got to tell you just to skip ahead the funniest part about after
that episode was over was reading on Twitter all the people that were like Captain Carter was great I loved it they should make a movie with this Captain Carter person she should get her own series and everybody should watch it and it would be great and we would love it and I wanted to respond to each and every one of them there was a series with her and everyone
unanimously didn't watch it and now it's gone it was called Agent Carter and we don't get to see it anymore because nobody watched it so enjoy your what if stupids and go and watch reruns of the show that could never be because you were too much of a you were how are people so nerdy that they were too nerdy to watch Agent Carter right well it's not on a platform that doesn't exist yet called Disney Plus I can't just watch it on
television alongside of agents of shield that would be ridiculous sorry I'm on a soapbox now listen Agent Carter was great I would have I would love to see them I've heard maybe it was from you or from Vic over at crash and has not that I listened to that show but if I did he might have said something like that there was a rumor that they would they were going to try and make live action movies of these what ifs which I immediately disagree with but I
do like the idea of like since we're getting the multiverse stuff like just having some of these people appear like I would love to see a you know no spoilers but T'Challa in his new role I would like to see Captain Carter what's well well listen through the magic of technology and industrial light and magic we might be able to see
that's the one that's the one what if that we can't see well for sure listen again spoiler alert he might be wearing a helmet most of the time so just saying just saying I mean I wouldn't mind if those those made a small appearance or like if I don't know new Captain America what's his name Falcon showed up and was like hey I know you and she's like yeah you do but I'm stronger and just punches him in the gut or something
dude I loved the agent Carter series and I'm so I've watched it when it was on TV you were one of the you were one of the dozen that watched it yeah and I was so mad when that ended like it is I was so mad because I was looking up like after the like the season two finale I was just like oh like I am ready for season two
season three like this is gonna be great and so for like six months I would like every weekend I would get on the computer and look up agent Carter agent Carter season season three and like nothing and then when it was finally like confirmed that it was canceled I was so bummed I mean best case scenario maybe this maybe all this fervor for this what if show that happened can jump start a season three is that even still possible I don't know but that would be nice to see
because I didn't see I think I only saw some of season one and I like that show what was I gonna say though I liked what I don't know how the rest of the episodes are gonna be but I liked how it gave the like readers digest version of Captain America the first Avenger but if it had been
if it had been car agent Carter who became Captain Carter which I hate that they call her that why just call her Captain America they weren't gonna call him Captain Rogers they were just gonna always call him Captain America and yes I know they called him Captain Rogers but listen I I liked every bit of it I liked all of it like when you rose that were saying some people were saying like oh well finally we got the good one now that episode two came out because
Captain Carter was okay but now that we got episode two the real good one came out yeah I don't know if you guys really give two shits about IGN's reviews because most of the time I disagree with them but yeah I remember when the first episode came out they gave it like a five for out of what five right yeah so you know unfortunately they gave that one a five but then T'Challa Star Lord they gave an eight
I think let me tell you that's such bullshit it is because here's the thing I'm sure that episode is great but it's definitely going to get undo praise because Chadwick Boseman died you know what I mean like it's going to be extra hyped because of that like look at look at the dark night like that was a great movie but how much extra like how much further has that movie been pushed into the future because he
died like the moment that movie came out you know I mean like it's I'm not saying it's unjust you know what I mean like they both were great actors I'm not saying anything bad about Chadwick Boseman but I am saying that come on give it all give it all Marvel has proven time and time again they know what they're doing just everybody just relax it's all great
without giving any spoilers I think what this the episode to the one with T'Challa that episode had it felt more like its own story rather than a retailing yeah and then but that's what I really liked about Captain Carter like a lot of the stuff that they skipped over you could fill in the blanks on
this and like one thing in particular like I was really wondering I'm like okay why at least with my first viewing I watched them like okay why the hell it isn't Bucky like being experimented on and I'm like oh well she just figured everything out a lot faster than Steve did so like they didn't get a chance to take Bucky back and experiment on him so that's why
like he he wasn't like back there and all that other shit the one thing it just Captain Carter like her which I think I honestly I wish that they would have just gone with Captain Britain for sure yeah seriously those don't I know but the reason they didn't do that is because Captain Britain is actually a character
and there's like a Captain Britain core with like multiple Captain so I wish they would have just done Captain Britain and but so whatever like but yeah I think the Captain Carter thing was kind of eh or calling her Captain Carter was eh so I don't know the everything I know about Marvel I know from the movies you know I'm one of those guys who is super Van Wagon
and so the one thing about the Captain Carter thing that I was like huh is that all of a sudden they were like Howard Stark was like you know what I think I'm gonna build a big Iron Man I'm gonna just build him real quick and then you're just gonna fly around Steve it's fine I don't need to worry about my son building an Iron Man later I'll build an Iron Man now and we'll call it something different like is there precedent for that or am I confused
that also threw me off a little bit but I think it is within the realm of possibility with Steve being having such close contact with Howard and him being like hey I need like I still want to serve my country but they're not gonna let me do it the way that I was supposed to and so he's just like oh well I could just build you a big ass suit
but why didn't he do that then for the Madam Carter in the OG First Avenger
well cause she was gonna serve like she was like fully capable that's
yeah I guess so
like she wasn't as like she wasn't as helpless as skinny Steve
that's true listen I mean we're all we're I'm nitpicking about a flying robot man so you know take that as you will
yeah the one thing another thing like that I nitpick a little bit was Red Skulls motivation because he won't he went from like wanting to bomb the US and all the major cities to opening a portal
I mean he's a Nazi
how do you make that jump
Nazis like portals that is for sure the one thing we know about Nazis
yeah well with with I think what what kind of irritated me with that is the way that they
focused so much on oh this one moment changed the course of history forever but no it it changed they changed a lot like not only did Captain Carter stay down in the the area with Steve she or
Red Skulls home mode whole motivations changed to instead of like wanting this ultimate power he was trying to open a portal to the Hydra champion
I mean the only thing that I could say is like since it didn't have a lot like it was the reader that Reader's Digest version of the movie just of Captain Carter is like since because she again unless I'm mistaken she didn't go on the same like
we got this dork and he's Captain America tour and we're just gonna make him sing and dance like she didn't do any of that right like she just immediately went basically immediately went into like let's go kill us some Nazis
yeah pretty much which makes sense for her character because that's like just something that she was already on track to do I say maybe maybe Red Skulls plan was like put on a put on the fast track because like we were not we in it they were not flaunting the fact that they had the super soldier and sending him all over and making him do all these things and I don't know whatever I'm making excuses for just a good thing I saw
yeah dude and I know you guys haven't seen episode two yet but if people are throwing fits over that kind of stuff and from episode one there's no way that episode like there's some things in episode two where you're just like you have to suspend a lot of disbelief for and I want you both to message me when I when you figure out what it is
figure out what it is
by the way I already know kind of not what it is but like I know what had I know the conceit of that episode because I watched the trailers for it or for the the whole series. But again, if you're not already suspending your disbelief for a lightning god an arrow man a frickin guy, a different Batman, and all these people coming together and fighting, you know, space dimensional
creatures, then all right cool I mean I guess we like you know Black Panther he wore he wore he wore sneakers that Velcroed and I didn't like him somebody said what are those and I didn't appreciate it.
I kind of going off what DJ is going off with. One thing that kind of this is like the only nitpick I have and it's like a stupid ass nitpick is more of a funny one. So when Captain Carter like crosses through the portal and she's in front of spoiler alert guys, Nick Fury and Clint Barton.
So is that supposed to be like the exact scene played out when Loki came through.
Because, because, because if it is, and like I said this is a stupid thing to nitpick Hawkeye is wearing the wrong costume, because he's wearing the costume that he wore when they after he's been taken over by Loki and he invades the helicarrier in that scene if we're
talking about that he's just wearing, he's wearing like his like shield jacket and like cargo pants and I know stupid shit that nitpick, but I don't know I don't I don't think that's the.
I don't believe that that's the Loki scene.
Okay, I think that it's maybe shield just doing it in a test run on whatever their equipment is because that's what they were planning on doing anyway, like, Selvig was trying to open a portal.
That yeah because that was going to be my question if like if you're in a Clint are there if it's the scene that I'm thinking about Selvig should be there as well.
Right, and he could have been in the background for all we know.
I mean true.
But, so okay I take back my nitpick because yeah Caleb's are probably probably right it wasn't the whole Loki scene. So I take back my stupid nitpick.
By the way, it was just a test, it could have. Listen if we're going full what if.
I mean, clearly, we saw how drastically everything changed right away when she became when she got in there and got the, the super serum.
So who's to say that everything else from the point that she vanished up until what we know of the Avengers happened exactly the same way because I mean clearly, Steve Rogers lived and died.
Like you know what I mean like who says that he made it like there's.
I don't know, like, I would imagine like that's what's interesting. That's what is again, what's interesting is going to be interesting I think about all of these episodes is that you're going to have like a million questions like okay well we know what happened while
Steve was frozen, because we saw that timeline but what happened while Captain Carter was away.
Taking her light sabbatical in another dimension.
Some people were saying that she was in the quantum realm or could have been in the quantum realm.
So that's why time affected her a little differently.
I mean listen, whatever, whatever the reason is fine, I accept it.
The only other note that I had on on that episode. Was it just me, or was she way more brutal with that shield than Steve has ever been, dude. Yeah, damn.
Yeah, I mean I think you could probably say is like you know what you can do an animation is definitely a lot different than what you can do in live action.
Yeah, so they definitely had a lot more room to play with. Yeah, she was straight up, like, given those guys permanent brain damage. She was doing civil war level, like when Bucky and Captain America were going on Iron Man, like she was doing that
immediately where I feel like they did not have the technology. During the first Avenger to do that, or even the forethought to do that would be like, oh, you could, I don't know, just, by the way, she, here's the real funny thing is if she had been left
without getting zapped into another dimension, we assume that she was good, but like who's to say that she wasn't going to be, I don't know, punching someone in half with that shield US agent style in another year or two.
Yeah, that shit was wild. It was so immediate to I'm just like, oh, what if episode.
Yeah, like my justification for that was that Steve was still getting used to his strength and not and kind of knowing because he had like no formal training. No, no anything like he had to learn all this stuff. So I think it's just something that he like
gradually picked up and then we get how he is with his shield like later on because I felt like the most brutal he's ever been with his shield was the opening scene from Winter Soldier.
And then she just stepped it up like five knots.
And she definitely took it up to 11 immediately and was like, like I felt like there should have been some like, what's that? What's Ozzy Osbourne's band from back in the day, there should have been some of that or not not that led zeppelin song.
I don't know the name of it. I'm so sorry. There should have been led zeppelin playing playing in the background. That's all I'm saying.
Immigrant song. Yes.
Oh my gosh, that would have been wild.
But yeah, I'm loving the series so far. I love this. This what if scenario.
All this. I'm interested to see how they. Yeah, I'm interested to see how it goes on more down the line because I love the total episode.
How many episodes is it supposed to be, do you know?
Nine.
I like that. You know what? This is one of the few that I wish there were more already.
No, that can't season two. Yeah. So let's see. There's nine this season and apparently there's going to be nine more next season.
Yes.
I mean, I don't know that it's confirmed. I just know IMDB says there's season one and season two, but we'll see.
Oh, man. Episode five and six. I think you're going to be great because it like if you if you look on IMDB, it shows you like a little snapshot of what each of these episodes is going to be about.
And for some reason, episode five and episode six not showing you a picture of what's going on there.
So very excited because episode eight looks amazing. So does episode seven. No spoilers.
I'm pumped because I figured Captain Carter and T'Challa were going to be our first two.
But after that, it's we kind of don't know. Actually, I think the next three is going to be Doctor Strange.
It is not. The next one is not zombies. Zombies is number eight. Is it Doctor Strange?
Let me see, because it doesn't give the name of the episode yet.
All right. Anyone who doesn't want to know this, don't listen for the next moment.
Episode three, there is a picture of what seems to be Loki and probably someone different playing Loki.
There is a Doctor Strange. He seems to be on some kind of a rock shooting energy beams out of his hands.
Do you want to know? Do you want to know these next three? Because there's five and six.
There's nothing. Episode eight is zombies. Episode nine is Doctor Strange again, it looks like.
But episode seven looks like I got a little Spider-Man with a cape.
A little Spider-Man with a cape on and it looks like it's a what's his face? Doctor Strange cape.
Yeah, they had that picture of him in the in the poster with with that cape.
I'm very excited to see this. That was going to be really cool.
Have you guys heard the.
The theory on what the or how the zombie outbreak starts and it makes sense to me.
And let me tell you something. Are you guys interested in hearing it?
If if you don't, I won't say anything.
Can I just ask you, is it is it anything to do with Rick Grimes?
Because if it does, I quit. I quit Marvel.
No, it does not. Then, yes, I want to hear it unless Rose does not.
No, as do I. You want to hear it?
Yeah. OK, so the theory is that the zombie outbreak happens because.
Captain America wasn't able to secure the biological weapon in Civil War.
Hmm. I.
Can't wait for this episode. It doesn't come out until.
Let's see that episode doesn't come out until September 29th.
Oh, too long.
October 6th is when the ninth episode comes out. God, too long.
I still have plenty of Marvel content to consume until then, because we got Shung Chi coming out.
Are you guys going to go see that in theaters straight away? Absolutely.
Well, I probably have to wait because I work weekends.
I don't know. I keep going back and forth like Chris.
I was talking to Chris Watzke and he asked me if I was going to go and I was like, you know what?
I wish they had it on Disney plus premiere because I would buy it.
I would pay 40 bucks for it.
Because I don't want to go to the theater, really.
Although I say that, but I really do wish I I guess I still could.
But I really want to see the Suicide Squad in theaters like that movie, that movie and Black Widow.
I feel like Black Widow. We bought the premiere or whatever and it was fine. It was good.
I liked it. I liked watching it.
But that definitely felt like a movie that should have been seen in the theater.
Have you Black Widow and XD? Oh, amazing.
Have you heard mine and Rose's idea for recreating?
So listen, this episode is going to be eight hours long.
But we at some point do need to talk about that because I am for sure in on our on our VR movie theater experience.
Listen, we're going to do this.
Dude, I've already looked into it.
I'm pretty sure I could like with the proper setup, we can make something really cool happen for under 150.
Really? Because I'm not going to lie to you.
I was really thinking that like we were going to start this start this story at five hundred dollars.
So I'm I'm definitely down now.
Like that's going on the cheaper end of VR headsets.
They said that the like watching.
Or the VR headset that I'm looking into, it was discontinued, but they still are making updates for it.
But they said watching the are looking through that headset, it's basically the same as watching like a 720p.
But when you get to the more expensive VR headsets that are around like 350 to 400, that's when it gets a little bit more clarity.
A little bit more. Yeah.
But I'm like, I can buy a 4K television today while we're talking on Amazon for less than three hundred and fifty dollars.
But it's just the recreation of the of the movie theater that I think is what's selling me on that.
I'm like, I'm not going to that full like that expensive route.
I'm going to try and stick with like try and see what I can make happen for.
Like I said, under that 150, at least you work the bugs out, you know, until I work.
Yeah, exactly. Until I work the bugs out.
But there should be a way to watch whatever you want on Disney Plus, Netflix, whoever streaming service and project it like it is in a movie theater.
Listen, you tell me what I need.
And you said there was going to be a way for us maybe all to like like watch it together, maybe.
Yeah, exactly. If you like with the proper setup, you can have up to like 30 people in a theater.
I am very listen, you tell me what I need.
I will buy it for me and Beth and we are in.
We will be two of the participants in this theater experience.
Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited.
This is exactly what I wanted.
This is exactly what I had in my head.
I'm like, then this way you get to pick and choose and like if like I freaking love it, like if you can pick and choose who you have in the theater.
And if one of those people that you pick and choose is annoying, you can just mute them.
By the way, can I just tell you, you guys were talking about talking in the theater.
You are one of what I call the immediate mutes.
If you talk during the movie, I will go to you.
The movie will still be on and you'll be like in your VR goggles, just like ha ha ha ha.
And I will rip it off of your head and be like, stop talking.
Well, we don't have like full on conversations in the theater.
I like if we're watching something, something cool happens.
My brother, like that's that's as much talking as happened.
That happens in the theater.
Listen, I don't know if you guys have heard the tale or if I've told it on this show before.
But whenever we went to go see Endgame, the short version of the story is is two drunk people decided to sit next to us.
They tricked me by complimenting my shirt because it had some kind of a Marvel character on it.
And I was like, ah, they're fine drunks.
And the woman immediately, I'm telling you, within 10 minutes of this movie starting, who's that?
Oh, my God, he killed Loki.
Wait, what does that stone do?
How is this going to happen?
What's going to happen next?
He can't kill that guy.
What's this?
And I turn over to the guy who's sitting next to me and without thinking because the movie just started and it's 11 hours long.
And I'm just like, hey, is there any way you guys could not narrate the whole movie while it's happening?
And the guy looked at me drunkenly like I should punch you in the face.
And all I could think was I'm going to get punched in the face.
And he was like, huh.
And then he like whispers to his girlfriend and they didn't say one more word the entire movie.
And I got to enjoy it.
I was very glad.
But that's who I am in a movie is I'm the guy that will turn around and be like, hey, shut your popcorn hole before I shut it for you.
Dude, I don't have the guts to do that.
Dude is so hit and miss with with movie theaters for me because like I'll go see a movie that I'm just kind of like, yeah, about and like have a really good experience.
But then the movies I'm like super excited for like someone will frickin do something to ruin it.
Like I had some chick take off her shoes and I forget what movie it was, but not really important.
And she took her shoes off like next to me and like propped them up on on the chair in front of her.
I'm like, I will kill you.
So are you guys so OK, I'll say this.
I talk a lot of smack about the sequel trilogy, but I saw each one of those movies twice in theaters when they came out.
And when I saw the Force Awakens, I think it was I want.
Wait, which one did Han Solo die? It was the Force Awakens or the Return of the Jedi or Return of the Jedi, the last.
What was it the Force Awakens?
Yeah, the Force Awakens.
Which which was the one where BB eight took the took the tarp off of R2D2 and R2D2 was just sitting there like a like a big lump.
Was that also the Force Awakens? Yeah, yes.
OK, OK, I'm just trying to make sure that I'm talking about the correct movie.
The first time I went and saw it, because this is the only two times I've ever been cool with someone being loud or saying something like in the movie theater.
The girl that was sitting next to me was so super into this movie that she was you know how people the expression I was on the edge of my seat.
This girl took that expression and was like, yeah, I was on the literal edge of my.
She was on the literal edge of her whole seat, the whole her seat the whole time.
Han Solo dies weeping, weeping, openly crying.
This can't be. I was like, oh, my God, I love all I could think of was I love how much you love this movie and you're helping me enjoy it more by being so invested in the fact that this dude just got brained by his own son.
And the second time I saw it, it was how it was the best.
It was the best that it ever could have been BB8 pulls the tarp off of R2D2.
And there's that like one beat of a silent moment.
And there is a small child that I hear on the other side of the theater ago.
It's his uncle.
And the whole theater died laughing and it was amazing.
Oh, my gosh, that's perfect.
Have you guys seen the video that came out when the force awakens did of like a huge like crowd just like frickin pumped to watch it.
And then someone accidentally turned on their flash recording and they're just like, turn off your camera asshole.
That's when the frickin crawl is starting.
Really funny. No, I thought you were going to talk about the guy that walked out and was like on solo dies and nerds came together and beat that dude nearly to death.
No, that's f'd up. Yeah, that is by the way.
I OK. OK, we're here now.
So I was playing. It was like it was like when one of those games like circles I.O. or blob I.O. or something came out for it was like a phone game.
And I'm playing it. It's the day before I'm going to go see the force awakens.
And I'm just like, doobie doop doop. I love playing games on my phone.
Somebody's name. So it's one of those like big like multiplayer deals where like everyone can come in and they make their own name and you try and fight each other or whatever.
The dude's name that killed me was Han Solo dies in the force awakens.
And I was like, you son of a bitch.
OK, so cut to the last Jedi shows up again day before we're going to see the movie.
I'm not going to say who out of respect, but because even though they don't listen to this podcast, I have some real choice words for this individual.
So if they ever hear it, know that my hatred for you in this respect runs as deep as the wells of my heart can run.
We're literally about to go see this movie.
And he's like, dude, I could not believe that Luke died.
And I was like, hey, bro. Hey.
Hey, you. What?
And he's like, yeah, man, I couldn't believe it.
And I was like, I literally had to turn around and walk away because I wanted to strangle their neck until their head popped off.
Oh, my gosh, that's rough. And that was worse than the guy in Endgame and his wife or girlfriend drunkenly narrating what was happening in the first 10 minutes.
Dude, I don't forget. I've been super lucky when it comes to spoilers because so I thought I've had a couple like there. I thought I had a spoiler for Infinity War and I thought that I got something spoiled in for Black Widow.
Both of them turned out to be wrong.
Can I tell you the same thing for Infinity War? I think it was Infinity War. I thought I had something spoiled and it was not.
And I was super glad about it because I was I was bummed. I was legitimately bummed.
I was like, I can't believe because I because that was the thing about the Star Wars movies, too, because I'm sure you guys are the same way.
I went radio silent on social media.
Like I wasn't looking at anything. I wasn't going to accidentally get spoiled. I even knew not to look at my YouTube subscription feed because there was all these like I can't believe Captain America was old and said, I don't think I will.
So nothing. And yeah, when I thought I got one anyway, I was so upset and it didn't turn out to be true.
And I was happy. I'm like, Star Wars. I hate you all.
Yeah, Star Wars fans are the worst. Marvel fans are just stupid and post wrong stuff.
I mean, post wrong stuff all you want. So if I accidentally see that in the mix of something that might be real, then I just don't know.
Like I would much rather that than just like, bro, Han Solo dies and his kid does it. Isn't that crazy? His real name's Ben, by the way. Anyway, bye.
Yeah, so the spoiler I got for Black Widow, I got way back in April. Did you talk about it on the show?
Did it have to do with Taskmaster?
Yes. So someone posted and said, Oh, identity of Taskmaster revealed to be a former love interest of Natasha Romanoff.
And I'm like, like, come on, like fricking assholes. And then I like was scrolled down a little bit more.
And then they're like, in credits scene, Hawkeye visits Natasha's grave. And I'm like, shit.
And so when I was watching it, I was so like I was watching it and I was a little bit better.
And I'm just like, like, obviously, like this this dude that is supplying Natasha with all the stuff is Taskmaster didn't end up being him.
And I'm just like, oh, awesome. And then like the end credits scene, I'm just like, we're going to see Hawkeye visiting Nat's grave, like with his daughter and blah, blah, blah.
And it was. And I'm like, yes. Like, this is great.
No, it's Hawkeye getting a death wish, you know, even better.
I mean, we still got to see him.
I like a grungy photo when he's in his Ronin outfit.
That's not even actually like, you know, like physical photo. It's just like on a tablet.
Yeah. But.
All that to say, I'm so excited to try and recreate this theater experience where it's as customizable as you can possibly make it.
Like because they had like the.
The program that I found, you can have different settings so you can have like a theater setting like a classic movie theater setting.
You can have one like a setting where it's like in a home or out in the woods if you wanted to watch a scary movie and like, no, thank you.
I can already say no thank you to in the woods watching scary movies, even if it is on a VR headset.
Nope, I'm a good or they have like one that's like on a spaceship.
If you want to watch like Star Wars or Star Trek or just some movie.
Now, I would watch Jason X Jason goes to space on that starship.
Yes, yes.
By the way, Jason X very underrated Jason movie. Very like I almost I have to believe that that movie was intentionally done that terrible.
Like there is no way that that was an accident.
Yeah, it's actually all these different customers. Yeah.
Sorry, but it's all these like customizable features that you can have.
And if someone is like bothering you, you could just mute them or if they're like trying to get in your face and distract you, you can turn them invisible if you want.
Like I love that. I like absolutely love that.
I already by the way, this is how I know I'm an old man already is like, as you were saying that I was like, why would anybody be up and moving around?
We're watching a movie.
Yeah, true. But, you know, if you are, but someone look at me, look what I can do.
Look, I was like one of the features of man.
One of the features of this this app, you have like a like a remote to control your hands and you can put stuff in your hands like popcorn to throw or you can like throw drinks or have like a phone that shines like a super bright light.
It's like they hate us. It's like the people that are making this hate the people that are buying it.
They're like, yeah, and finally get to live out my movie theater fantasy.
Well, that's just it. That the program that I'm talking about is free.
You know what's funny is, you know, we were talking about like confronting people in a movie theater, Beth.
She is the opposite of me when it comes to that.
Like she is very not a confrontational person at all.
So which made it all the more tasty when there was some dude, I can't remember what movie we were watching that he just he kept picking up his phone, picking up his phone, picking up his phone.
And Beth in the most uncharacteristic move that I've seen in a long time was like it loud enough for all of us to hear it.
You know, that's very distracting, right?
Like while the movie's going on and the guy's like, oh, he's like, oh, I'm so sorry.
Like, did that apologize to her again after the movie?
I was like, I am so proud right now.
I think the wrong parts of me are rubbing off on you.
You should not be confrontational with strangers.
I need to stop this.
OK, I have a story about that.
Checking a phone.
It was you, wasn't it?
No, it was my wife.
So it was during a quiet place.
Of course it was.
So we went through the whole movie without incident, like the entire movie.
But it was like the last five minutes of the movie.
My my mom started calling me.
And so like it was just vibrating in my pocket.
And so my vibrate was kind of loud, but I was able to like mute it really quick.
And so I made it quiet and everything.
And then my mom started calling my wife and she called three times.
And my mom does not call us like does not call that frequently ever.
And so my wife thought that it was something important and thought she got a text.
So she like pulled her phone out of her pocket, held it really close to her chest and like opened it just to see who it was.
And like she told me it was my mom after, but she's just like holds it really close, checks for a second and then puts it back in her pocket.
Doesn't say anything. That's all like that's all she does.
Pulls out her phone and it's already at its lowest brightness setting, checks and then puts it back in her pocket.
The lady next to us, you would have thought that we took a flashlight and was shining it directly into her face the way that she was going off.
Wait, when you say going off, because I got to tell you, I would be the one that would contemplate snatching the phone out of her hand and just throwing it like a discus to the front and be like, go take your call now.
Like my wife didn't take the call. Like it was on mute.
And so she was just like trying to see if my like who it was because like it was just call.
And like like my wife tried to silence it in her in her pocket like mute it, mute it.
And then like another one she's just like, okay, I need to check real fast because her mom has some like medical issues.
So she just wanted to make sure it wasn't her mom.
And so she like checked like real quick, like no joke, like up against her chest, check immediately in her pocket.
So I have to know two things. I have to know what this lady said to your wife.
And then I've got to know who exactly shook off their mortal coil so that your mom had to call at least four times.
Yeah, my mom just wanted to call to see what we were doing.
And I'm like, are you shitting me?
Checks out.
You called it like you called me twice. You called my wife three times like someone better be dead.
Like that's it.
And then it was like Caleb being like in strike the third, someone better be dying.
By the way, can I just tell you that right there is why I turn my phone all the way off when I go into a movie theater.
So I'm not even tempted.
I'm like, hey, man, I'm not going to be able to help anyway. So if everybody died, oh, well, I got to see a cool movie before I knew how bad everything was.
That's the end game. That's all that matters.
Exactly.
Yeah, I usually put mine on like mute without the vibrate.
That was just out of sight out of mind.
But I just happened to forget that that time.
And same with my wife, like my wife will keep it on vibrate just because of her mom.
See, that makes sense.
OK, like that at least makes sense.
Your mom, what is going on with your parents, Caleb?
Yeah.
But so the lady, she like after the movie had ended like credits and everything and everyone started like talking again.
Like my wife and I were like, started packing up and the lady like leaned over and she was like, she went off on us.
Just like that was very distracting.
If you needed to take a call, you should have gone out into the hallway or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I was and my wife was just super embarrassed and she apologized.
She's like, I'm so sorry.
Like I would have like I wouldn't have pulled it out if I didn't think it was an emergency.
And she's like, well, if it's an emergency, you should go out in the hall.
Like I was checking to make sure it wasn't an emergency.
She I know I wish your wife in that moment would have been like, it's a second 9-11.
We got to get out of here.
Yeah. And so I was like.
And I don't say shit to anyone.
So like I let my wife apologize.
I'm like because I didn't pull my phone out.
I love that you're like and there's the bus.
You link.
Goodbye, wife.
I love you.
Yeah.
But she just like we apologize.
We were trying to be like super nice and friendly about it.
And like it just got to the point.
The lady was just like harassing us.
Like, well, like you just ruined the the the entire movie for us.
I'm like it was the last five minutes.
And like that's when I finally spoke up.
I'm like it was the last five minutes that like the conclusion that already happened.
Like it was just like the stuff to tie up the movie.
It wasn't anything like insane, but you missed.
And she's like, well, like I just I feel like you just ruined the entire movie.
I'm like, then go see it again.
Like if it if we ruin the entire thing or distracted you from watching the last five minutes.
And I'm like, she's just like, oh, so you're going to pay for it.
I'm like, no, I'm like, I'm not going to go pay for it.
Like, I'm not going to pay for you because you have the attention span of a toddler.
Again, if this was the movie version of this, your wife would have been like, oh, my God, it's another 9-Eleven.
And then when she was like, are you going to pay for it?
You would be like, yeah, you know what I am.
And you would have a pocketful of change and you just throw it right at her face.
Here you go.
Oh, man.
Yeah. And so we got up and we were walking down and she like threw out another comment at my wife, just like like so rude and just talking about like millennials.
And I turned and like, lady, you need to chill.
A millennial is about to push you over a seat.
OK, have you ever know what do you know what the hard part of the floor feels like because your forehead is about to.
Why don't you relax and let us go on about our business?
We just saw The Quiet Place starring John Cranston.
Who else is in that? What is his name? Kravinsky was his name.
Krasinski. And who's the lady?
I freaking like laid into this lady and like with her husband, like right next to her.
And I'm like, like, lady, we apologized, but she pulled her phone out for like a second.
I'm like, like, you were the one that got distracted by a shiny object and let it bother you.
Hey, listen, listen, listen, listen.
This lady was out of line.
But let's not gloss over the fact that you pulled out a phone in the middle of a movie theater.
But I know I'm not saying my wife was right, but we apologize for it.
OK, yeah. And that's it.
You because, by the way, she deserved to get that that uppity about it.
If your wife had been like, but the real move would have been like that was very distracting.
And she just turns on the flashlight and puts it right in her face like, oh, was it?
See, that would have elicited that kind of a response.
But, you know, seeing someone want to throw themselves into a volcano because they've just made a terrible error.
Like you did it. They feel terrible that we're done here. Yeah.
And I usually like to sit through the credits and my wife's like, let's go.
Like we need to get out of here now.
And I was like, OK, so we packed up, got ready.
And yeah, she just like was harassing us.
So I turned back to her and I never like approached or talked to someone like this and just like laid in her.
I'm like, you have the attention span of a toddler.
If you let a little bit of light distract you, we apologize for it.
Like, let it go. And if it ruined the movie for you that much, just go see it again.
And what do you want us to do?
Again, the movie version of this was after you said that and started to walk away, everyone stood up and started clapping.
Yeah, shut up, lady. You're stupid. Nobody likes you and you smell bad.
You should give them another movie ticket for having to sit next to you.
You stink. Yeah.
And I told like I told like, well, we were leaving to turn and I was like, you slashed her tires.
I'm like, I'm like, like, I have to go.
I have to go to work tomorrow.
You can probably get one of the nurses to come bring you back if you want.
Yeah, it was just like me and Caleb.
I mean, Caleb doesn't come out very often, but he is not.
He's not very nice.
He's a real dick.
So you've met. So you've met Caleb.
You mean Caleb fully. At least I don't think I've done anything to piss him off that much.
No, dude, I'm the type of person that will let all of my anger just like sit for a while
and then just unload it on some poor, unfortunate soul that does wrong by me.
By the way, what he's saying, Rose, is his poor wife.
No, it's not usually my wife.
It's always like someone like someone just kind of inconvenienced me.
Like when I'm like at the boiling point like, dude, there was a point where I had
little envelopes with an apology note and like five bucks in it to your wife.
No. So I could give it to like give it to people because I would know in the moment that I was wrong
for yelling at this person and that they didn't deserve it.
So like I was at McDonald's one time and someone was like someone messed up my order
and I unloaded on this guy, like let everything that was bothering me out.
And like it was like all the anger I've been building up at work, working with my dad.
I'm just like like like everything has to be freaking perfect with you.
I'm not fast. We know that like unloading on this poor minimum wage making dude.
And like in the middle of this, I like lean over, open my glove compartment, pull out an envelope,
hand it to him and he like opens it and reads it.
And it's like an apology like this is not about you.
This is about what's going on in my life.
And I am apologizing that this is.
Wait, how many of these did you have prewritten out, sir?
I had four. Caleb, are you doing OK now?
I'm doing a lot better now. I'm doing a lot better.
I have ways to unleash that that angst.
That is a lot of forethought for that much anger.
Like, by the way, in a court of law, premeditated, they call that.
Dude, that's just how I freaking rolled.
I was just like, like I just get so built up because I didn't have like a good outlet
because I would just get yelled at at work.
I was getting like ripped on at home because I live by my boss.
Who even? Well, your dad.
Yeah, because it was when I was working with my dad that I had that
because I was getting ripped on at work and then he would bring it home with us
and we just getting like big arguments.
And so I couldn't like fully release my my angst.
And then I would just like come out on.
And it wasn't like it wasn't happening like every week or whatever.
It was it was happening like maybe once every six months.
Dude, I'm really glad you didn't turn into a murderer.
Like you, everything you just said is the plot where we're like,
and now we're in present day where he's murdering people once every six months.
We call it the half year killer.
It's almost December. He's going to strike again.
And but like legit, that's how I how I rolled for a while.
Just having those little notes.
It was so weird because I'd be in the middle of yelling and grab these notes
and hand it to them like I was apologizing while I was bitching at them.
It's funny because the closest I've ever come to anything like that is well,
I'm sure. Well, OK, first, the first thing I wanted to say, I almost forgot.
I would pay almost any amount of money to talk to any of those recipients
of those cards today, any amount.
If you're listening to the show right now and you hit me up untrained iPod at Gmail.com
and we'll work out a price. I need to speak to you.
But also, like I'm a very thoughtless person.
I have to whenever I'm dealing with people like at work or like just out,
like at a place or whatever, like I have to start the conversation with,
hey, how are you doing? Something like that to like engage them to just be like,
hey, I'm not trying to just steal your time and wisdom away.
I'm actually going to inquire about you.
And one time that I lost myself, I was at Home Depot and I was like super in a rush.
And I had a question about something and I looked at a guy that was five feet away from me
and I was like, hey, you, I got a question. Come over here.
And he starts to walk over and I was like, hey, man, hold on.
I was like, I am so sorry that I just said, hey, you to you.
I was like, what's your name? And he told me his name and I was like, hey, Kevin or whatever his name was.
I was like, I really apologize. That was super rude.
I was like, I do have some questions, but you don't have to answer them now.
He was like, no, it's cool, man. It's great. Fine.
But that I couldn't believe I, hey, you come here is what I said to a human.
Guys, I have a feeling this might have to be a two parter because it's almost 11 p.m. here
and I have to be up at four fifty five in the morning.
Yeah, I was kind of thinking that too.
I really I was so I'm so sorry because I also I told you before we started,
I have one, two, three pages of like one sentences that I wrote down about this movie.
I have a lot of feelings about the hit man's wife's bodyguard.
Well, we can get into the breakdown real quick so you can share those.
Well, listen, this is my this is what I this is my proposition to you.
And we can cut this part out or not.
What if are you guys available tomorrow for like 30 minutes?
Because I feel like this could be a 30 or 45 minute thing.
You I probably won't be.
Boo. All right, we'll do it.
Let's go. Oh, I'm sorry.
I yelled too loud.
I'm sorry.
Clean feeds are all.
All right. Well, let's get into the headliner real quick.
All right. For this week's headliner, we will be breaking down the hit man's wife's bodyguard.
And just to.
If you have not seen this movie, spoiler alerts ahead.
If you're our new door breakdown system, we have split movies into eight different categories that we individually grade to come to a final all bros and untrained I letter grade.
They categories that we score our story writing, acting, character development, effects, music, costumes, and then we give it our own personal grade at the very end.
So if you have not seen this movie, go check it out.
And Rose is about to spoil the entire thing for you while he reads the synopsis.
So reading with Rose, everyone.
Yeah, here we go. How fast you can I can read this without messing up?
I say 40 WPM.
Okay.
All right, here we go.
All right. Michael Bryce repairs retired from being a bodyguard and tries to clear his mind on vacation until Sonia Kincaid tracks him down and asked for his services.
She needs his help in recovering her hit man husband Darius after mobsters kidnap him.
After saving him, they are caught by Interpol agent Bobby O'Neal, who needs their help in locating a terrorist mastermind named Aristotle.
Poppity, dude, the the the the. That doesn't count as a reading with Rose.
That name was ridiculous.
Yeah, I was going to give him a pass on that, too.
Who wants to destroy the European power grid and infrastructure since the European Union is planning to impose more sanctions on Greece.
The trio gets into more trouble with Bryce taking up much of the physical brunt of their encounters.
After getting help from his bodyguard stepfather, Bryce Senior, the trio is captured by Aristotle's henchmen.
He has a history with Sonia. He was calm by her even though he generally fell in love with her.
After turning her against Darius Kincaid, he and Bryce are forced to flee.
Senior is revealed to be working with Aristotle and betrays Bryce.
Bryce and Kincaid compose themselves and work together to rescue Sonia and Thor Aristotle.
After killing Aristotle's henchmen, they disrupt his plan to use a power drill to break into the European power grid and fight Aristotle and Senior.
Bryce kills Senior after telling Senior about his eternal loyalty and friendship with Kincaid while Kincaid and Sonia kill Aristotle.
Bryce manages to hit the manual override to destroy the ship and stop the drill and the three manage to survive the explosion.
O'Neal says that they have to stay on the boat for 48 hours together before being cleared and free, then hands Bryce's papers to Stein, which he thinks is his AAA license.
Bryce signs them only to find out they are adoption papers for him to be the son of Sonia and Kincaid.
In the mid-credits scene, Bryce despotently jumps off the yacht in piloting while Sonia and Darius have sex inside.
That was amazing by the way. I told you guys at the beginning, like before we started, this movie was ripe for bloopers.
I feel like it should have been bloopers. And whenever I was fast forwarding to see if there was an after credits scene or whatever, I saw just a flash of somebody on a boat and I was like, bloopers!
And I went back and it was not a blooper. And even though it was funny, I was still very sad.
Nah, that's fair. I would have loved a blooper reel.
Yeah. So we ended up giving the story a 73.3.
Who was the meanest to this movie?
You want to take a guess?
I think it was Rosie Rose.
Yup. Me and DJ were actually equal. Rose was the one that went down to like a 60.
A 60?! Wait a minute, hold on, hold on. Am I understanding this correctly? You also did not see the first one, right? Or did you?
So I saw the first one. So I watched the second one today and then I watched the first one yesterday. And I'm going to tell you the truth, I kind of hated the first one. I did not find it really that funny.
But this one I actually did enjoy. Like this one was actually alright. I don't know what it was, but like yeah, the first one I was not a fan of.
So I think I wrote it down, or maybe I didn't, but I do remember the first 20 minutes of this movie I was like, okay, is this, I was just getting, because I haven't seen the first one at all.
I honestly forgot that that movie even existed. And I was like, I don't know man. Within the first 20 minutes I was like, yeah, I don't think I'm going to enjoy any of this movie.
Let me see if I can, it wasn't always so bad.
One of the things I wrote down immediately. Why all the eyeliner on dudes? Too many guys with eyeliner in this movie.
Slow start, but picking up, I can't remember exactly what the moment was. Oh, you know what it was? It was when they met the cop. As soon as they met that cop who I immediately decided not to learn his name and just called him Copface.
As soon as they met Copface, sure. I don't know who that guy is. They met Copface and I was like, all right, we're getting into a movie now and everything from Copface on, I was super into for the rest of that.
I agree. It did have a very slow start. Like it had some funny bits. Like the whole like graduating therapy bit.
Okay, the first thing I wrote, therapist. How does he not know she sucks? So was he, you said you saw the first one. Was he like a bumbling idiot in the first one or was he supposed to be like a really good bodyguard?
I mean, technically, I guess he is supposed to be like the top bodyguard of them all. Except for apparently his stepdad, according to this one. But yeah, like his like top protect his top client, like right in the first one, and they lead into this in the second one, he gets shot on the plane.
And so basically, like, it's a downward spiral for him in the first one. Got that. Because that was that was the one through line with this movie is all of these people that were supposed to be great, like him being the bodyguard.
Sam Jackson being the hitman, crazy lady, Selma Hayek, like, none of them seem to be able to read a room at all.
And I'm like, how have they made it so far, and they don't seem to know. Like, there was a point where he just like indiscriminately. Ryan Reynolds character just indiscriminately just takes a pill that the crazy lady gives him.
He's like, Okay, I feel bad. And just puts it to his face and I'm like, that doesn't seem like very good, like, decisive, or not decisive discernment skills.
Yeah, the first movie didn't include her as much. It was just between Ryan Reynolds and Sam Jackson.
You know what? But yeah, so he was more of the like the wild card and it was just it was like Ryan Reynolds character trying to keep up with him, which I think it like worked a little bit better like yeah all three of these guys, all of them were just complete idiots.
And I think it like, yeah, when they went up against that like that competent bodyguard. By the way, I was like, I was like, who is that guy. And as soon as I found out who he was, I just wrote, it's gorilla arms because it's gorilla arms from umbrella Academy.
Yep.
Number one.
Yeah, my wife, while we were watching this, she forgot that he was British.
Aren't they all.
Yeah.
But I think it really showed. While it was, they were going with, or doing that whole sequence and being like, oh, like they don't have a decoy and then Ryan Reynolds is saying like we should have had a decoy.
And like no escape vehicle like none of this stuff that they should have had and like the bodyguard is like these guys are idiots.
Well, that's why I say it had like a weird start and even in that part where they were all like, I couldn't tell if they're playing dumb or if they were supposed to actually be, I don't mean playing dumb like their characters are playing dumb like I don't know if they were just supposed to be dumb until they weren't, because that's kind of what it seemed like in some some spots.
But from that like 20 minute mark on, I feel like that was like, it was all a very good, like by the numbers but very good action movie like that you could have very easily seen this be a movie in like the mid 90s starring like Bruce Willis and taken like just a little bit more seriously.
And that would have been like a Bruce Willis.
What were all the movie dying hard again, still dying.
You know, but this time it's a boat instead of a building dying hard.
Yeah, you're not wrong.
I think it could have had a lot of things fixed about it.
I think it was just the fact that all three of the main characters seemed incompetent. It was just like, it felt like a shit show from beginning to end, where no one was trying to like reign it in at all.
Which I think makes it all the things a little bit more funny when there's like that that serious guy that's trying to just like, bring it all together just like keep everyone in line but it didn't feel like anyone was trying to keep anyone in line.
And I don't know if this would go more for like story or writing, maybe this would nevermind this is for writing, but I will say as far as the story goes, one of the things I wrote down towards the end was no one believes these old guys are this tough, because
there's a part where like Sam Jackson and Morgan Freeman are just straight up fighting dudes 30 years younger than them and I'm like, hey, hey movie, relax, they can't do it.
They're not doing it. We can see that a guy that is clearly moving sprily and is wearing a Morgan Freeman wig is trying to stop his stepson from the countdown or whatever.
Dude, that joke was hilarious.
A little bit about Ryan Reynolds dad. I wrote down heart hate line was hilarious when Sam Jackson had said something to him and he was like, why don't you stop thinking with your heart and not where start thinking with your heart and not with hate.
Hate first or whatever he said, I was like that. Thank you. I was like that was my first genuine like out loud laugh at that movie.
Oh my gosh, I love that so much because so when they started doing that like that build up to the reveal, my wife and I were were discussing like, oh, who do you think could play Ryan Reynolds dad, not even not even think like I did not know anything about this movie other than that it was a
sequel to the hitman's bodyguard. So I didn't know who else was in this movie other than some high Samuel L Jackson and Ryan Reynolds. I knew nothing else.
And I was just like, who do you think it's going to be? Who do you think it's going to be? And then when Morgan Freeman appears, I lost it.
Everybody did. We're like, what? Yeah.
By the way, speaking of like good surprise roles in this movie because I thought Morgan Freeman did great.
But I actually really liked is there a character section of my like skipping to the wrong part of this.
Oh, character development. No, this is for story.
Antonio Banderas his character. I liked a lot. First of all, that guy clearly was just collecting a paycheck because like he barely had any acting to do in that whole movie.
But he acted the hell out of every acting he acted. He was like, guess what?
I'm wearing the dumbest wig ever. And I am dripping with acting right now.
I'm Antonio Banderas.
Dude, he does not slouch on anything that he does.
Like he brings his A game to everything.
What I wrote down was is Antonio Banderas ever not good?
No, he is good at everything.
He's even great in Spy Kids.
No joke. That's what is so jarring about his character in Spy Kids is that he is out acting everyone and it feels so out of place.
It feels so over the top. But I'm like, actually, that's some of the best acting in this movie.
All right. But he also got to his level.
Here's by the way, here's a story thing I had because you again, you watch the first one is cop face.
Is he from the first movie?
No. So he's just a guy that we're supposed to make a lot of wild assumptions about then because they're very adamant that like for some unknown reason, this Brooklyn cop is in Europe
and he's trying to get back to Brooklyn.
For some reason, he can't go back until he gets transferred back. But he just seems like a beat cop. That part I didn't understand about his character at all.
Yeah, that was kind of what was he working for? Was he was he Interpol or was he like CIA?
I thought he was just a cop.
Yeah, he kind of had like that that personality, but I'm fairly certain he wasn't like just a cop.
I still I thought it was so weird that they were just like they made such there were a couple things that they just kept making references to.
And I feel like this is more writing than story.
But like they made with him specifically like two or three times in that movie, they were like they made him say like, I do this.
Can I go back to Brooklyn? And they're like, yeah, if you do this, you can go back to Brooklyn.
Like, bro, move back to Brooklyn. Will you will you work for MI6 over there? Why why you have to stay here?
Yeah. So I think after discussing it, I think 73 is a pretty fair score for it.
For the story overall, because it well, but OK, fine.
I want to say like the the tracker heist when they were they were with the tracker heist was that that's when they were getting that was that am I remembering this correctly?
When they were getting the.
Damn it, it's all escaping me.
I really thought I wrote down enough when I wrote down these sentences like the tracker heist, I thought I would know where to go from there.
But I think that was where she had the bracelet on and they ended up having to fight with the money or whatever when she like freaks out and she's supposed to be British.
And then he's like, but you're so old.
And she just starts losing it and just yelling at them in Spanish.
He's like, right around. You sound very Mexican right now.
Oh, my gosh. I loved when his old client came to approach him and he just like immediately grabs his arm.
He's like, shut up and like flips him over.
There were things I did not see. I knew we're going to get paid off and I didn't expect them to get paid off like they did. Like whenever he like I said, whenever he just indiscriminately took a drug from this woman and just put it in his mouth.
And then like you knew that was going to pay off somehow. And I did not expect it to pay off like it did because I was like, wow, he is really good at driving like he just like hotwired this car and is driving it.
And then the next thing you know, like, nope, he is just freaking passed out.
They're like, oh, my God, are we going to get out of here? And then it's just a freaking just a terrible chase.
They're just doing so badly. I don't know. I thought that was good.
I thought things like I mean, I won't give it away right away.
But like as soon the moment the for even though they beat you to death with it, the moment he was like a penknife is the last thing anyone would ever expect.
I was like, oh, we'll be seeing that penknife later on in this movie for sure.
By the way, can I just ask you both this? What you saw him use as a penknife? Is that what you call a penknife?
Because I call that a Swiss Army knife. What he was that is definitely a Swiss Army knife.
Yeah, that was not a penknife since when is a pen that bulky in the handle?
Yeah, that was I didn't think that was very strange.
I like the penknife was something that you kind of forget about throughout the movie, like even though they at least for me, maybe it's just because my memory is garbage.
But any time that they brought up the penknife, I was just like, oh, that's going to come into play later.
But then I'd forget about it. And then like when he said, oh, like with that final scene, like saying, like, oh, like no one ever expects the penknife.
I'm like, oh, shit. Yeah. And yeah, because when it finally came to fruition, I was like, oh, what's he going to do with it?
And then the camera pans over and you're like, oopsie daisy killed his own stepdad.
Yeah, I thought they were going to go a different route with that.
Like, I thought it was going to be like he pulls it out and like throws it or something.
I wasn't expecting it to just be in his neck already.
Yeah, I wrote, by the way, clearly the penknife will be a thing.
I love how they explained his backstory and his obsession with seatbelts.
Yes. And by the way, I wrote during that chase, I wrote, how is Ryan Reynolds not super dead because he was just in the back of that van.
And they're going down the stairs and taking crazy turns and you just hear the stuff and see the stuff just all in the back of this van.
And then he's just a shovel falls on his head and they're like, it's OK.
Dude, I loved how through that whole scene, like they didn't acknowledge that he was back there.
Like they just like threw him back there and he like had a couple like weird flipping moments or like flying around.
And then they just completely ignored him. Well, that was their move, right?
Because the first time when he got shot, no, when he got when she hit him with the car, like that was the thing.
All of a sudden, like the next scene is like you just see a montage of Salma Hayek and Sam Jackson just like going shopping and doing whatever and having fun.
And then you're like, OK, what did they do with Ryan Reynolds?
And then all of a sudden he's banging on the trunk like, hey, let me out.
Oh, my gosh. But yeah, I think.
Stephanie three is a good a good score talking that out with it.
I think the pacing of the movie was really good, definitely had a slow start.
And I think it was like right before the conclusion got a little bit slow, too.
Like I thought, well, let me tell you, can I tell you my biggest pet peeve with this whole movie?
Because I never get this option because I don't watch movies that have this in it very often anymore.
But as soon as they drilled into that data thing and said, they said six minutes until whatever.
I paused the movie right then and I set a timer for six minutes and I pressed them both at the same time.
And that explosion happened 50 seconds before the six minute mark.
So movie, I've always wanted to do that.
Always wanted to do that for a movie, but I've never done it.
So kudos to you for finally doing it. That's awesome.
Dude, I do something like that whenever someone's supposed to be under water, underwater.
I'll hold my breath. Yeah, for sure.
They're like, somehow I've never practiced before, but I can hold my breath for 15 minutes.
Like that's what I did when they threw Ryan Reynolds character in the water after they thought he was dead.
Oh, my God.
And how about at the very beginning when they were like when they they were she was like trying to break him out of that, you know, his vacation.
And they crashed on the Vespa, which, by the way, that was an amazing crash.
That was a great opening like chase scene thing where like she's driving the Vespa and then he is because he's not going to shoot anymore.
And they crash it and they run to the edge and he's like, I can't jump.
And like, you know, it's going to happen. Of course, she's crazy. So she's going to jump off.
They jump off. They're in the water. The guys are fruitlessly shooting at them.
I'm like, really, guys? I appreciate the effort. But come on.
The thing that I was like, all right, movie, relax.
Like they already got away because they're like, we're going to swim up underneath this little plateau.
And there's like a little secret hidden cave like lady movie.
Like, what do you what do you think we think this is?
Is like is that the edge of every cliff in Tuscany, just a little cave up underneath the now?
Yeah, my that's when my wife walked in and like sat down to watch it with me.
She walked in and saw like the chase scene, saw them jump off the cliff and then saw the cave.
And she's like, well, that was convenient. Yeah.
And by the way, always here's the thing that bothers me about stuff like that.
And if you had like a set and setting thing, I would have had a real real bone to pick with this part is how well lit it was in there.
It should have been pitch black. Yeah.
Well, with caves like well, with caves like that, they do have like that reflection of the.
The sun kind of angling and stuff at the try to justify it.
Just try it. Just believe it.
Until I jump off that cliff edge and swim up underneath there and I can see perfectly.
I'm not only lit from the bottom of light because I get that, but they are also you can see that their faces are lit.
Yeah. DJ, there's your next vacation.
Yeah, exactly. I'll go to the mall, go to that filming spot and let us let us know if.
I'll strap a GoPro to my forehead and just jump off the edge like I did this for the.
Just don't tell. Just don't tell Beth about it.
Just jump off. So we like, oh, I take her to this thing like, oh, look, we're going to be like, look, we're going to see this like this bell tower, whatever the hell that was.
And then just, oh, did you see this? And then jump.
Moving on over to writing, we ended up giving writing a seventy six rows.
What is the matter with you? I know. I know you gave this the F you button to this one.
I'm going to fight you on. Go ahead. What was your rating?
I gave it a sixty two, a sixty. Get out.
You're no longer welcome here. I am now the second all bro or the first all bro.
I don't know how you guys do this. I am the new all bro.
You are fired. I mean, you would be the second. I'm sorry.
No matter what Caleb says, he's the first. All right.
You need to explain. All right. Wait. First, Caleb, what did you rate it?
I wouldn't I rate it. You ended up giving it an eighty five. I went a little bit lower. I was at an eighty one.
I thought it was good. The humor was pretty spot on for a majority of the one of the first things I wrote down.
Copface making fun of Lucky Charms is hilarious.
The fact that he kept calling that Irish lady like some something like he was calling her Lucky Charms.
He was calling her like, oh, haggis or whatever he was doing. I was like, I like this guy and this dynamic a lot.
Ryan Reynolds just like being Ryan Reynolds. I'm sure none of those were actually written.
He was just like, I just say I'm just I just say things because I'm Ryan Reynolds.
I listen. Why? Tell me, Rose, why?
Because, by the way, one of the greatest lines you may have missed was in this movie.
But I need to know why you think the writing was a sixty two.
I mean, I didn't laugh as much as I thought I was going to.
I mean, it was funny. I mean, like now think about it, probably was like a little harsh.
I probably like bump it up to like a sixty five.
I thought you were going to say sixty seven. That was hilarious.
But. Shit, I don't really know how to justify my score.
Listen, I'm going to help you unjustify what you did because you've you've done something terrible to us today.
There was a point at the very end when your boy Sam Jackson, they were they were trying to escape Antonio Banderas's castle.
And he grabs a mace and he's like, I guess a mace will do.
And kind of like sideways looks at the camera.
And I'm like, I wrote down, I'm like, mace Windu, come on.
If that's not a direct reference to mace Windu, there is no reason for him to pick up a mace and say mace will do.
Like that's it's clearly a reference to his purple lightsaber.
And let me tell you, the greatest part of this movie,
the greatest bit of writing, there were so many callbacks.
We had the penknife. We had the we had other stuff that doesn't matter because Gary and Johan,
the fact that they were Suicide Squad A that went and tried to make the deal behind the back
and they just just exploded in a fiery death of amazement.
I love by the way, I wrote down what did I write down?
Immediately like Gary and Johan.
And then as I was done writing that, I looked up, saw that they exploded and died and wrote Captain Boomerang Squad, LOL, LOL, LOL.
But the greatest bit of writing happened.
You might not have even seen this at the very, very, very end.
They did have an after credit scene. Did either of you see it?
Yes.
It said in loving memory to Gary and Johan and it had the picture of their characters there.
And I that movie got so many more points in my heart for that.
Like my personal score is definitely going to reflect that after credit scene.
So I wrote down in all capital letters, Gary and Johan exclamation point.
Honestly, my writing score was like started off way lower than than eighty one.
But like I I don't disagree with your score, Rose.
Mostly because so the reason that I boosted it up is because I chose to.
Embrace like the comedy that they did have, but I just felt like.
They use the F word as a crutch.
To make things funny, if you put Sam Jackson in a movie, you're going to have the F word in it a lot, no matter what I feel.
I get that, like I absolutely get that, but it's just like the excessive use of it doesn't make it feel as special.
That's I mean, I'll fully admit when Salma Hayek used it, it was actually funny.
But I just heard Sam Jackson said so many effing times, I almost said it there over the years that it's just like kind of becomes stale when it comes out of his mouth.
But like if it comes out of Reynolds mouth or especially Hayek's mouth.
It it's actually funny in this movie, but Sam Jackson is just like stale.
I will say before the 20 minute pick up, whenever she was, she had broken him out and was explaining to him like all the different ways and positions.
And I tried to have sex and it was no babies and this and that.
Like it went on for so long that I just wrote down the single word uncomfortable.
That's fair enough.
Thank you. We get it.
You're barren.
You can only hear Salma Hayek talk about her pussy for so much for so long.
And that but in such a way that I was just like, I this is not I this is not what I signed up for in this movie.
No one's bodyguarding right now. No one's hit manning right now.
What are we doing? Was this some kind of wife thing right now?
Yeah. Well, I guess she kind of was wiping.
So that was my bad.
I apologize.
I think one of my favorite jokes throughout this movie was the I'm on sabbatical on any time.
So anytime someone would question why he wasn't using a gun or when he pepper sprays that dude and then Sam Jackson shoots the dude in the head and he's just like, is that pepper spray?
I want sabbatical.
I don't know if this is would be story or writing or something even else different than that. But one thing that I really enjoyed about this movie was all the chase scenes, like even the imagined chase scene where he was all lithiumed up.
Like I thought the I thought all the like what was it? What was the what was the song that they use simply the best whenever they're playing simply the best whenever he was you didn't know that he was all drugged up and he just like made his perfect left turn and the gorilla arms was behind him like wow this guy is an amazing driver actually.
That was great. All the music with the chases went great. All the chases looked amazing, I think and sounded good.
And I thought all the fights, even though like a lot of the fights, I would say all the fights were forced for the most part.
All the fights were really good. Like they.
I don't know. Would that be story or effects, would you call that have I jumped the gun.
I would put that in effects because I like to include like anything practical or like special effects like all of that in together and I think cars I group into like practical effects.
All right, I jumped the gun. I apologize.
No, you're good.
We have no like true format.
Yeah, so seventy six for writing. Moving on over to acting.
We ended up giving this an eighty two point three. See, I can more agree with this.
Whatever you guys pick this time. I don't have a problem with it.
So the three roles that we had was Ryan Reynolds who played.
Bryce, what was his first name?
Max, Michael Bryce, Michael Bryce, Michael Bryce.
Yeah, Michael Bryce, Samuel L. Jackson, who played Darius.
The first. Yep. King Kade. King Kade.
That's some high IQ who played his wife.
Sonia. Dude, honestly, like I think, by the way, like if I if you had to put like in order who you thought like best to worst.
Best to worst. Yeah, my my I think my my order would would surprise you guys.
I want to hear probably to then I want to hear your guys's orders because I didn't think of it in this context until just now. So I want to hear what your guys's opinions are of who is best to worst.
All right, Rose.
Ryan Reynolds, number one.
Salma Hayek, number two. And I'm sorry, Sam Jackson, number three.
Honestly, thinking story wise, I would have actually been OK if Sam Jackson was just like a captive the whole movie and we only saw him like glimpses.
And it was just Salma Hayek and Ryan Reynolds the whole movie because I actually loved just these two together.
I wanted to see just more of these two actually.
Well, and I think that that is one thing why I think, too, part of the reason why I think the writing should get should have gotten a better score is because the movie seemed to know that
because there was a point where it was like it it not only gave them more time together, like they he got to tell his crazy gelato mom dying story.
And then she got to tell her my mom died of being eaten by a shark in front of me story, which all culminated into, you know, her wanting to adopt him at the end.
Like the movie knew that like, you know what I mean?
Like it was aware of itself and like what what some of the good things were about it.
So I still disagree with writing, but go ahead.
My top three is actually different than yours.
Rose, mine's some high as number one.
Then Ryan Reynolds, then Samuel Jackson.
I think her performance as playing just this crazy Hispanic woman was just absolute perfection.
It was exactly as over the top as it was supposed to be.
Exactly. Exactly.
She nailed it.
She nailed it. She I freaking love Salma Hayek like first off, and the fact that someone made fun of her age like that offended me.
I like no, Sam Hayek is gorgeous.
This is true.
I honestly I would I don't know how I would rank them. I think I also would probably put some high first just because, you know, listen, I know she's a good actress, but I truly didn't expect.
I mean, this was a sequel to a movie that I barely knew existed.
So I really expected absolutely nothing from anybody.
Like, I really thought this was going to be a paycheck movie.
And I think for a lot of other actors in this movie, Morgan Freeman, it was a paycheck movie.
But it I really underestimated and it makes me sad to know that you didn't like the first one.
I really underestimated how much I was going to like Ryan Reynolds and Sam Jackson playing off each other.
Like, I really liked those two together a lot.
So I don't know how I would rank them like some hike would be first.
And then those two is just a pair I would put as a two because I don't know how to I don't know.
I was surprised with all of it because like I said, this movie I expected I not only expected nothing of it within the first 20 minutes.
I was like, this is going to be a chore to watch.
But then by the end, by listen, by the end, I don't know if I wrote it down or not, but I was like, yeah, there should be a third movie.
That's what I wrote after the end of this.
Like, I would watch another movie of this.
Yeah, there is talks apparently.
I would do it. I'm on board.
I don't know if there will be because it did not do that well box office wise, but no one knew what happened.
That's true.
Yeah, I think if they did do a third one, I would prefer to see more work between Ryan and Selma.
Like, I think you kind of need a sideline, Samuel, for a for a minute.
And I think I think their their dynamic was just like I said, perfection.
Like they were so funny together.
Yeah, now that like she officially adopted him, they'd be really play off the whole mother's son joke.
That would just be amazing for a third film.
Yeah, I think that would be so much frickin fun.
And yeah, just like exploring what his life is, not being a bodyguard anymore and just everything else like, like, I think you have so much fun with that.
Yeah, I think that I don't know this upset at that at all.
Yeah, we need a third movie.
Guys, let's make it happen.
Kind of probably have to wait another five years.
Dude, we'll have a hit man.
We'll have a hit man's.
We'll have the Deadpool's hit man's wife's bodyguard.
And that will be the movie.
It'll be Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool in the same movie with Sam Jackson and Selma Hayek.
She will be reprising her role as the vampire from from Dusk till Dawn.
Sam Jackson is going to cosplay as Nick Fury and Deadpool will be there.
And Ryan Reynolds will just be like, I don't know what's going on.
I'm on sabbatical again.
Oh, my gosh.
The hitman. So the hit man's bodyguard, the hit man's wife's bodyguard and then the bodyguard's mom.
That's not. Yeah.
The hit man's mom's bodyguard.
But wait, well, the hit man, Samuel Jackson, the hit man's wife's.
Bodyguard's mom.
There it is.
We did it, guys.
All right. Let's sell it to Hollywood.
Yeah. So.
Yeah. So acting sitting at an eighty two point three, I don't think there's much else to say about that.
I think their performances were pretty well altogether.
Yeah. Not their top acting ability, but pretty like above average.
I mean, I haven't seen some hike in a lot.
So like for me, this is high up for her because like one of the things that I
which I really shouldn't be comparing it to because I'm sure she's been in better movies as the grownups films that I've seen her in.
And I mean, she's funny in those, but this one is she's definitely better in this role.
Yeah, I can agree with you on that.
All right. Moving on over to character development.
I think all of us agreed that this is where the movie sorely lacked.
So it's sitting at a sixty six point three.
Glad I was actually on the same page.
Finally, I was going to say I was for sure one score nicest to this one because I gave it a 70.
And by the way, I only gave it a 70 because of that last scene where she adopted him.
Like that was for sure the only that came out of nowhere.
And I loved it so much.
Yeah, I.
So I based this score off of Ryan Reynolds character and how he.
Grew. What was your score, I guess mine, I had it at a sixty eight.
No, what was yours, Rose? Sixty one.
I can't remember. Oh, damn, I didn't know.
Is that mean? Well, OK, actually, I do have a.
Oh, sorry. No, what were you saying?
No, I think I can kind of actually back up that score.
Because I was kind of because considering that this is a sequel,
I did kind of try to take what character development he got in the first one
and bring it into this one and see how it progresses his character.
And the thing that kind of annoyed me with this one is at the end of that movie,
he gets back this.
Well, it's supposed that he gets back this girl that he loved.
You know, they apologize to each other.
It looks like he's going to live like happily ever after with being a bodyguard again.
And then basically this movie starts and it seemed like none of that ever happened.
And he's just back to square one.
My what the hell? My biggest problem with Ryan Reynolds is character was it was
it was I'm on sabbatical until he wasn't on sabbatical
because he you know, he got screwed over by his dad because his one goal in life
was to become a triple a rated bodyguard again.
And then he was like, that's it. I'm throwing caution to the wind.
I'm not wearing seatbelts anymore. Everything's going off the rails.
I'm Ryan Reynolds and it's time to shoot people in the face again.
And then at the end, like it's funny because simultaneously the thing that made me
that brought character development up that is the same thing that didn't bring it up any higher
is because he again, even though he said he's like, that's it.
I don't need to be a bodyguard. I got the pep talk from my new dad, Darius.
And I don't need to I don't need to be the bodyguard anymore.
He thought he was signing the papers to become a bodyguard again.
It's like, hey, bro, what do you what was the whole point of like being on sabbatical
and then making that that decision where you were like going to go rogue and like do your own thing.
You didn't need to be rated to. Oh, well, it can be triple a rated again.
Here I go. And then he's like, well, I'm your son.
Like, OK, cool, man. Like, so this movie.
So you you basically did nothing this whole movie as far as like development wise.
Yeah. Dude, and I think like something about that joke, and I think it's just me overthinking it.
Like, wouldn't like does he not read what he signs?
No, he takes pills from people who are crazy and eats them.
Why would he not sign contracts suddenly that just appear in front of him?
It's probably that he didn't think that Frank Gorillaz character was going to give him an adoption paper.
He probably just assumed, oh, you know, it's me being reinstated as a triple bodyguard.
You know, that would just make the most sense. Not a damn adoption paper.
Yeah, my like I had to suspend a lot of disbelief for that because I don't sign my name on shit without reading every single word.
Oh, really? How many times have you clicked?
I agree and pressed OK. That's not signing a contract.
It for sure is. God damn it.
It for sure is. Oh, that is why.
Sorry, good. I was just going to say they can't prove that I was the one that agreed to the terms of service.
Yeah, we all know that people just give their phones away to people to just use.
Sometimes I just let strangers use my phone and they just pick. I agree and press OK to stuff.
OK, any thing that I've done in the military, I have read very thoroughly before signing.
Sure. Yeah, because the military is not known for being like, yeah, cool contract, bro. Rip, rip, rip. You do what we say now.
Another fair point.
We go on for a few hours about that, but we're not going to because we're trying to stay on track.
By the way, you guys kept talking about Frank Guerrillo.
Didn't realize that he was crossbones in Civil War and he was a guy in the Purge movies.
So oops. Oh, he was also in the Winter Soldier. There you go. Didn't recognize him at all.
Something was off about his face in this movie. I don't know what it was, but it just looked like.
And this is nothing against him. I think he's gained weight.
I think it's just from how from Brooklyn he was. He was so from Brooklyn and in Europe.
I don't know. And like the Purge movies and the Captain America movies, his face just looks like a lot more like bone on bone.
I think the word is I'm looking for, like gaunt almost like there we go. Yeah.
You know what? It's funny because now that you said that, I can now picture him in the in the MCU now.
Thank you. You helped me today. You're welcome. Cop face has a real face. It's crossbones.
Yeah. So you think it's he gained weight because I I have his face is more sunken in than anything.
I mean, that Botox is catching up. I'm just kidding. I don't know if he is.
I'd have to look and compare the pictures.
I'm going to do that after we wrap up here because I got to know that you I got to figure out the huge difference here.
Yeah. It's like sad. This is how that's how I spend my Wednesday night.
Hey, it's Monday morning. OK, there we go.
Yeah, but character development wise, I don't think we were too impressed with what they did.
I think going off of Ryan Reynolds character, he just didn't have a whole lot of growth or an arc that really felt worth a damn.
None of them really did. It's up for some really like she was the only and she didn't even have an arc so much as that,
like rather than just be broadly crazy, it just got focused in on to Ryan Reynolds after he saved her.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So yeah, character development sitting at a sixty six point three.
Moving on over to effects, we are sitting at a seventy seven. That's not bad.
I disagree with this already because I think that there were two there were two terrible effects, two terrible ones right at the beginning.
There were some like they were driving through like a countryside or something.
And for some reason, they just were like, you know what? This scene needs some CG butterflies.
And they put in the worst butterflies I've ever seen. It just looked like they hired me.
They were like, hey, man, do you have access to YouTube and three hours?
And I was like, I guess. And they were like, all right, you're an effects person on this movie now.
Make butterflies happen. And that looked terrible.
And for some reason, I don't remember why I wrote this terrible helicopter effect.
I think they were on a helicopter and it like looked very not real. Like this was near the beginning.
Oh, no, it was when they were being chased on that bridge and the other hitman was like flying around.
Yeah, that that helicopter looked like garbage. That's fair.
But to counter all of that, like the Jaguar exploding was amazing.
Like I mentioned before, when I thought we were talking about story, turns out it was effects.
All the chases, you know, minus the weird helicopter, but all the chases were great.
All of the fighting, the gunfighting was good.
Like, I don't know, I liked I thought they I thought this was a good movie as far as that was concerned.
Yeah, I the reason I docked was because a lot of the CGI, like the practical practical effects looked really good.
It was a lot of the. The the special effects that I thought looked like garbage,
like what you said, the butterflies didn't look super great.
The bridge collapsing, the the helicopter didn't look super good.
Any time Ryan Reynolds got hit by a car, which was a lot.
Yeah, like, yeah, because it was more than once.
You're like, again, for real.
And he got hit like significantly hard.
Yeah, he for sure died after the first one and everything was just a lithium nightmare that he was having.
OK, maybe I don't know car, you know, like getting hit by car physics.
But when the first time he gets hit, how many times did he flip upside down in the air?
A lot. How many times did he flip in there?
That's like it seemed like too much. Right.
I mean, like I said, I don't I've never been hit by a car.
I don't know how many times you would flip in the air.
So I don't know. I don't know how fast she could have been going with because she would have to flip him as hard as she did.
She was like 20 or 25 feet away from him and just gunned it that quick.
Yeah, if you gunned it, you could maybe maybe get up to like 30 with that with the distance that she was at.
So as the only person here who has been hit by a car, I will say this.
I it happened when I was 15 years old.
I don't remember any of it.
Thankfully, someone was there to see it. So I know that what happened to me was I didn't do many flips, but I sure did one flip.
I did one flip and I landed on my face and I slid for like 10 or 15 feet.
And when I awoke, apparently I looked like half of me was Freddy Krueger.
And the doctors, the doctors were like, you will never grow facial hair on that side of your face.
And I was like, OK, thank you.
And for those of you not watching right now, I have a very full beard supported by Leviathan Cross Beard Oil.
Thank you, Sleep Terr John.
Sneaking that ad.
Yep.
Got to do it. Got to do it.
But it's like what was else? What else was I going to say about that?
I can't recall all that to say he would have at least flipped once.
I can I can vouch for the fact that he would have at least done a flip.
Yeah, but I think other than like that's what I talked for a lot was the special effects practical.
I think they did a pretty decent job.
I don't think there was anything like outstanding in anything that they did.
I think a lot like the car chases were pretty cool, but honestly, nothing we've not seen before.
Well, but that plays into what I was saying before about like this could have easily been a slightly more serious movie in the mid 90s starring Bruce Willis.
You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Oh, and by the way, that's what I was going to say.
Another reason why I wish I had been on the Suicide Squad episode.
Did you guys know since we're in effects that when King Shark when they go to that that freedom fighter camp, and I think that's where it happens where he just pulls that dude in half.
Is that where he does that?
No, he does that one in the rain.
But is it not a freedom fighter like pulls in half?
Doesn't matter. We all we all saw the shot where he pulled the guy in half.
So apparently the shark was CGI.
The thing getting pulled in half was a practical prop that like actually existed in the real in the real space.
What? Yeah. Wow.
That's impressive.
That is really impressive.
James Gunn anyway.
Dang, I wish I would have known that I probably would have given it like an extra point.
All right.
Any other effects you guys want to talk about?
Because so like I said effects is sitting at a 77.
I got nothing.
And that Jag when he when he put the Jaguar when he put all the gas on it and exploded it and started playing whatever song it was.
I really enjoyed that a lot.
The Jag remember he took his dad's Jag and then got they got darted up.
And then when he came back to the house, he was like, you really are an idiot.
Because he's like, why is it?
What's the Jag doing back here?
And then he took he took a gas can lit it on fire and it exploded.
I thought that was a very nice scene effect.
I don't know.
Yeah, it looked like they did that for real.
It really did look real.
Yeah, I would be surprised if that was was CGI, because if it if it was CGI, that's where the entire budget went for sure.
Yeah. Oh, that's what I put.
I should have known something.
I'm sorry.
I need to backtrack for just a moment.
I put he did not earn the Jag because whenever his dad, his stepdad, Morgan Freeman gave him like handed in the keys to the Jag and he's like, really?
You're going to let me try the Jag.
You wouldn't even let me look at as a kid.
He's like, you earned it.
And I did say it out loud.
I'm like, he did not earn that.
Yeah, I absolutely agree.
And there was a lot of shit that I wasn't allowed to look at as a child.
Like the stuff that I would have to do to earn the right to drive it is it's unreachable.
Dude, I figured out what we're going to do.
We're going to steal your dad's Harley.
Let's go.
Oh, my dude.
Like, I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about that.
Like that would be such anxiety.
You think it can make it to Georgia?
Dude, no joke, there was a day my youngest brother threw a water balloon at me while I was in front of my dad's garage and the water balloon hit my dad's Harley and we thought he was going to murder us and he wasn't even home.
It was water.
And we thought we were going to die.
Like we we freaking like ran inside grabbed all of the the the lint free towel like cloth towels that we could find the microfiber towels and dried that off to it like a shine and just pray that he didn't notice when we when he got home.
Let me guess he did you want to know you want to take a guess at how old I was when that happened.
Eight.
1617.
Damn.
My, my brother was 13.
Shit.
Wow. Yeah.
So it like the water balloon hit and we're just like, Dad's going to murder us.
Okay. And then when he when he got home and went into his garage, we were like at the back door just like staring at him.
Trying to see if he noticed what is wrong with you boys.
Nothing.
I'm still not 100% certain he knows about that.
But we can tell him that we steal his Harley.
Yeah, you know what? After this, I'm going to go over to your parents house and a hot wire that bad boy and I'm going to hit the road.
I'll see in a couple days.
Listen, I know some nefarious characters, we can get that thing this weekend.
All right, before we get into more trouble, moving on over to music.
We ended up giving this a seven.
Okay, what did I give it? I feel like I rated this one really high because again, I like you.
You did it. You had it at nine.
Yeah, you know, I gave it a nine is because I really liked again, I was coming off the Suicide Squad and like, you know, I think James Gunn uses music very well in movies like I really like how he uses music.
And the fact that this none of the music, the like license to music that they used seemed like forced or wedged in like it all like again like when he was when he was all drugged up and he was just imagining himself, driving that thing and you hear simply the best playing in the background like that was perfect.
Like I really like that music choice made me laugh and I appreciated that. And just all of the all the chase music all the anytime there was an explosion there was good music playing like I enjoyed the music in this movie.
Yeah, the music was was pretty good.
Rose you ended up giving it a five.
The only song I remember from this movie is just Hello by Lionel Richie.
That's the only thing that stuck out to me and it really wasn't that big for me. So I probably sound like a dick for giving it that low.
I don't know because is it is it just you when you guys judge music, are you doing it by music or just like just the music in the movie or like the whole the soundscape of the whole thing.
Kind of the soundscape of the whole thing because like we've used it for like horror movies the use of silence like we've we've thrown that into our our score before because I was just kind of like I think we could honestly change music to audio.
Yeah, music is just like a big part of the.
Like this because I definitely judge this on those moments that I talked about but I can I can for sure get on board with a five or six as far as the rest of like the quote unquote music went because like it was it didn't like you didn't feel like pumped like there was nothing I couldn't.
I don't know I don't know how to describe it other than I agree out of with all the other parts that I didn't say like I can agree with the five or six.
Yeah, I thought the soundtrack as a whole was pretty killer so that's why I ended up going up to a seven. But what kept me from going any higher was, it just felt like they were throwing the music in.
It really seemed to fit the tone of the scenes. Very often like there was a couple times where it did really well but there was a lot where I forget what what song it was but there was an instance with a song that it felt very out of place for the scene,
and you should rewatch suicide squad, and then watch this movie again, and then you'll rate it a nine like me.
Because if you want I really like the soundtrack for suicide squad and we ended up giving that one pretty high no no no no no no no no no no the suicide squad suicide squad.
Yeah, I was the only one that gave it a 10 wasn't I know movie has wedged music where it didn't belong, more than the suicide squad. That was a travesty.
Yeah, I'm disagreeing with you on that one.
All right, moving on over to costumes. We end up giving this one a seven as well.
I think I rated this one, absurdly high to yeah I gave it an eight just because like they.
They wore what they should have been wearing like the he didn't he didn't magically, like, it didn't go from like one scene to the next like suddenly he one scene he's covered in blood and then the next scene for no reason he's not covered in blood anymore.
And I don't know, I liked I liked how Antonio Banderas they like a couple of the characters kind of like out loud commented like this guy looks ridiculous. He's wearing a flamingo jacket, like what is happening right now.
The cop face looked looked like a cop face, like he's wearing the the mid trench. He looks like he could be out of like a Humphrey Bogart movie. The frickin stupid stuck up lady that was like, I'm, I've got an accent and no one can quite tell where it's from is
it British is it somewhere else I don't know it's European.
He looks like a frickin dork bureaucrat and Sam Jackson dressed like a hitman would just kind of like a little flashy but not super in can not not inconspicuous inconspicuous enough, but not like, not like plane.
And, you know, some hike was a crazy person so whatever she wore was exactly right because crazy person don't care what they're wearing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it's sevens a pretty decent home because I don't think there was anything like too memorable. No, regarding the costumes but I think everyone.
Well Morgan Freeman's last. Okay, come on.
Okay, that was pretty fire.
Yeah. And honestly what I liked about Antonio Banderas is costumes was wasn't necessarily costumes themselves I think those were just pretty.
They were okay.
But I think I like the most the comments that were made about him. Like I think Ryan Reynolds said like, it looks like he's wearing a curtain.
So, yeah, so costumes sitting at a seven.
And now finally getting into our personal grade.
We, oh, rose you forgot to put in your personal grade. Ah, damn it. Sorry.
Well, okay, so you might want to get I did not know that it was going to be on today.
In my defense, I'm just saying, oh, I gotta do something.
Yeah, I forgot there was something I do. Oh shit DJs joining us. That's so funny because how long ago did you do we set this up, like, two or three days ago.
Oh, yeah. Okay, well, you son of a bitch. Okay, in my defense, like, anytime we talk stuff came up.
Okay, sure.
Dude, like, no joke, like I was talking to, I was talking to DJ like earlier today. Like anytime we were like texting I was like, I need to remember to tell Rose and remember to tell Rose, and then you would send me something like, oh, did you see this I'm like, oh yeah, that we like I get distracted.
I know it was in the middle of texting DJ but I'm talking about this now with you, Rose, my co host. Anyway, surprise.
Hey, it was a great day. I'm the type of person.
I'm the type of person that if I lose my phone, and I, like I go looking for it, find it, and if there's a notification on my phone for like something like, oh, it's this time you need to go do this, I'll be like, oh yeah, and then I'll go do that thing that was on my notification, and then completely forget where I left my phone.
Good Lord. Caleb.
We were.
Your wife is super organized I bet.
Yeah.
Like she start like something she started doing she sends me.
Like she sends the event notifications on Google calendars for when I need to like take out the garbage when I get home. Otherwise, I won't do it. What a good woman you have, when are you going to let her go on the show why why why the dude, I wanted her to be a part of the show she just doesn't want to
let her be a special guest Come on. I don't know why you're holding her back from the show.
I know I'm not the one holding her back. Does she listen to the show.
I don't think so. I mean she does when
she's like, so when we were in the, when I was when we were me and her we're living in Provo are like our bedroom and the bedroom that me and Rose would record and we're right next to each other, so she would make comments from the other room.
And she's like, if you want to talk just like, come sit down with me and like we'll, we'll do this and she's like no I just wanted to make these little comments here and there. And then she do the same thing when I was living with my in laws in the little hobbit closet.
So now she can't make those comments because she's like on the other end of the house.
Tell her that me, you, Rose, Beth, and her are all going to do the super podcast to will do Infinity War, you know, because all the all the five stones or whatever are going to come together to do the greatest, the greatest podcast this world has ever seen
we might even invite Vic for the sixth stone.
Vic, that guy.
Let your wife be on the show stop holding her back you know she just wants to be cool for once, you just won't let her, they would.
I've encouraged her she just doesn't want to.
That's what you tell us but I want to hear that from her.
Well that's going to be difficult.
What's her favorite movie I'll try. What's her favorite movie.
We've done her favorite movie. How to Train Your Dragon.
What's her second favorite movie.
That's a that's a that's a terrible question to ask because I know best favorite movie, ask me what her second favorite movie is.
I have no idea.
I'm trying to think of.
She likes the time travelers wife, do the time travel tell her you're doing the time travelers wife.
And she needs to sit in on it because there's going to be a special guest that she's going to be really excited about.
And you want her to be you want her to just see what how it happens and goes down.
And that's when you ambush her and go it's you.
And then you hand her some headphones and you just do the damn thing.
Bam.
I did it first we're going to heist your dad's motorcycle then we're going to get your wife on the podcast.
This is coming together very well.
Yeah.
Anyway, getting back to our personal grade of the hitman's wife's bodyguard.
Rose, what was what were you sitting at?
Seventy.
All right. That brings our personal our collective personal score down to an 80.3.
What was it before? What did you rate it?
What was your personal grade?
I should have given it an 81.
I gave it a 90.
And I'm going to tell you why.
Because I came into again I've said it a few times.
I came into this movie a being like I have put myself behind the eight ball because this is a sequel and I have never seen the first one.
I don't even really truly know what the first one is about.
And I started out not really being into it.
And by the end again like one of the last two things I wrote was this needs a third movie.
I would for sure watch a third movie of this.
So against all the odds I like this movie kind of a lot.
I got told Beth I was like because she's like I might have wanted to watch that movie.
I was like I'll watch it with you again.
I was like we can watch the first one and this one.
I will watch this movie again.
Yeah.
I had a really good time with it like I think an 81 makes it seem like I didn't.
Well it's an 80 like it's like a B movie.
Like at least mine like I gave it a B so it's just kind of like hey it was good enough to watch it one time.
And this is one of those movies that I'd be willing to watch again.
Like if I just wanted a shut your brain off kind of movie.
It was fun.
It's a good time.
Yeah I thought it was fun.
It was.
Like I think if you get down into and try to break down the individual parts it kind of falls apart.
But for the most part it's a really fun movie.
But again all those action movies from the mid 90s I guarantee you if you broke those down scene by scene they would fall apart immediately.
They're just resting on the Keanu Reeves is in the Bruce Willis is in the Sylvester Stallone's is in the Arnold Schwarzenegger's is.
And you know put those movies in today's context and we would probably feel about the same less your Terminator 2.
But other than that I feel like most of those movies would kind of fall flatter than we remember them being.
Yeah that's fair.
Yeah so like I said we're sitting at an 80.3.
So that concludes this breakdown.
So the final all bros and untrained eye letter grade for the hitman's wife's bodyguard has come to.
I need like a real drum roll.
I got to get like a minute to see what they make it.
I accept this.
C plus is very good.
What do you think you guys give Suicide Squad some that I feel like should have gotten at the least a B minus and I feel like that also got a C.
The newest one to be it got to be maybe I'm thinking of you.
There was some there was a movie.
Wait man I got to look anyway.
Got a B plus.
I'm wrong.
I'm clearly wrong.
Tell me the movie.
By the way this is one of my favorite parts of this show is here.
Nothing was funnier than last week hearing the movies that got better than or less than Suicide Squad and that dude from Wheel of Death being like oh wow what.
I love that guy just for that just for not holding back at all he's like I don't agree with your anything you guys are doing over here.
Yeah I'm sure he's probably going to hold a grudge against us for the grade we gave Friday the 13th.
Dude you could hear you could hear the shock and appalled in his voice when he was like really really.
Yeah.
Really good.
I like that guy.
Yeah.
So it is sitting at a 70 like I said 76.91 percent.
All right.
Give us the goods.
What did it what did it beat.
Yeah.
Actually.
So the other way say what say what beat it first and then say what it beat if please.
Caleb so out of all of ours out of all of our C plus movies which there's 20 of them there's 20 C plus movies that we have graded it is sitting at 19.
All right.
Just kidding.
So it is sitting above unhinged.
Don't even know what that is.
Yeah.
Or unhinged was 76.8.
So it puts it.
So the hitman's wife's bodyguard is below the boondock saints which is at a 77.1 or one point one to the way the boondock saints is one of those movies that I feel like if I ever watched it again I would say you guys rated it wrong because I remember it being really good.
I feel like if I watched it again I would be like this is an F movie.
Okay.
The boondock saints we actually ended up giving this like really high.
The reason it's a C plus is because of Jason Almi.
Correct opinions from Jason Almi.
It's below the strangers pray at night, which is at a 77.18.
Damn.
It is below Aquaman, which is at a 77 point.
I've never seen that movie but it has amber herd and it can't be I demand a recount.
Dude this that was the recount.
Yeah.
It was a minus we did the recount.
No joke, it was an A minus before the before we like redid it.
Let's see, it's below Spider-Man, which is at a 77.49.
I can accept that.
And then also below Wonder Woman 1984, which is at a 77.7.
Yeah, I thought that too.
But yeah, that's where it's sitting.
Not bad.
I want to see if I can just real quick.
So out of all so with all the movies that we've great oh shit.
139 movies we've broken down.
That's a lot of movies.
Yeah, we've been doing this for quite a while.
Does that include the ones that you when you put out the call for people to do their
give you the reviews that I failed you on when you asked me directly.
You're like you want to do movies and I was like I do and then I did none.
Yeah, so that yeah that's including all those, all those.
Have you guys done the Matrix, the movie.
No.
Guys, I would like to suggest that you allow me to do the Matrix trilogy with you.
Not necessarily all at one time, but over the next few weeks or months.
I'm down.
Yeah, same here.
I've seen all three I just don't remember.
I'm a big listen if you think there are prequel apologists out there I'm a big Matrix apologist for two and three.
Big one.
All right.
Hell yeah I look forward to that.
I think you guys might be interested to know and anyone who made it to the end of this 47 hour podcast.
If.
First of all I apologize to all of you I'm too long winded but much like my long winded counterpart.
Jason Almi you guys might like to know.
I apparently I raised his ire so much when I talked badly about good fellows and Martin Scorsese and said Martin Scorsese was a hack because he had bad things to say about superhero movies that inflamed Jason and he is resurrecting a podcast called pop culture mass.
And I'm going to be on it. And I'm going to be talking about good fellows the movie.
I don't know if that's a patreon exclusive or not so team Almi a patreon.com or whatever it is.
I have refused to watch Martin Scorsese movies because of that superhero movie comment like listen Martin Scorsese the thing that aggravates me and you'll hear again I'm just going to you're going to hear me rehash this with Jason but the short version is Martin Scorsese
he knows how hard it is to make movies. So shut up and make movies guy. Stop stop stop it like don't bust on somebody else that did the thing that you know is so hard to do.
You're dead. You're an alive dead person. Just finish out the rest of your whatever and fade into obscurity and no one will ever remember you because even though you don't like superhero movies for some reason you like to age all the actors that you refuse to stop using instead of finding new ones.
Dude truth. Oh shit.
All right. Well I think that concludes this week's episode. So DJ would you like to tell everyone where they can find you and what you do.
I do a lot of things but one of them I do is the untrained I podcast with my wife Bethany. It's a very good show in my opinion. The hosts are very smart and good looking and you can find us on the internet untrained iPod all one word anywhere you are on social media.
There's a couple of tick tocks out there. There's some tweets from every once in a while. You'll get you'll get blasts of Instagram. I haven't put up an Instagram post in like three weeks but then all of a sudden you'll see like four posts you'll be like pork hub.
I don't remember that episode and then you'll listen to it and you'll be like it's as gross as I anticipated pork hub.
Oh my gosh that was a great episode and I knew it from the title to him just like I had to check because I like turn it on on my way to work and I leave at I leave for work at like four in the morning.
So I'm like dead and I saw like your episode I turned it on and I like looked at my phone and saw P something hub and I'm like, the hell.
I thought I hit the fire button on Duck Duck Go.
But yes, I do that. It's good. I do a show called dragging the table. I did a show called dragging the table. I keep talking about it because I want it to come back to life, and it eventually will. I'm starting to get to a point where I'm having more time in my life.
It's solo stuff. It's, I talk to people sometimes, it's probably when it does start back up it'll probably be solo stuff again to start and then I'll try and get people on again and listen just check us out.
I'm very tired. It is 1230 at night, right now on Wednesday.
We apologize. Not your fault. Not your fault. It's my dumb microphone that didn't want to play nice.
All right, well, if you like this episode want to check out more of our stuff. We are anywhere you can find podcasts, you can also catch all of our episodes on YouTube. Be sure to follow us on social media if you want to hit us up with an episode idea answer our question of the week.
Oh shit we have a question of the week. This week, you had one.
Yep. What was it. We actually got it. We asked what are some things you have done to avoid work on a day off.
Oh my god a couple responses.
I have an answer to that too but tell us.
So the first response we got is from at Nellar up or Sam Nelson. Over on Instagram. He said, I have a theory my wife got coven. She hated that job. In all seriousness, COVID sucked. She struggled through it. More reading with Rose please.
You got it Sam. I don't know you killed it as hard as you ever killed it today, Rose so that guy did not get what he asked for.
I'm gonna really mess up next time I have to read a synopsis.
Just for you Sam, just for you.
You should learn secretly another language and just proficiently enough so that one day you can just come and just say the whole synopsis in like French.
That would honestly be worth it.
Yeah, but I'll say, COVID is a good way to avoid work.
Yeah, no you straight up like when it like it all started when like anyone would say oh yeah like I'm feeling sick you had to think that it was coven, so you can question them on anything.
Even if they were bullshit.
Beauty of the grocery business.
Loved it.
And I couldn't get away with that shit I drove in a truck by myself alone all day.
For sure.
At least when COVID started.
Yeah, me too.
Anybody else like oh, feeling sick.
Anybody else respond because I have a great answer to this.
Yes they did.
We got a response from crashing Taz movie seller who.
What
Dick if you listen to this far into this, God bless anyone who's listening right now.
You're the best of all of us.
Because I don't know how you made it this far or why you made it this far.
But again, send me a DM at untrained iPod at whatever twitter.com and I will give you a high five emoji.
Let's see he said he took the scenic route home.
Cool thanks Vic.
Nice addition.
Yeah, so I'd like to know how the hell that.
How do you take a scenic route home on a day off.
Well, I don't know.
He'll have to write in and tell us.
He'll have to write in and tell us as he will never be on the show again.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, anyway, sorry for almost forgetting to read off your answers to the question of the week.
I'm glad we only got a couple.
Wait, I've got one. It's in the vein of what Vic said except mine makes a little more sense.
I just don't answer my phone.
Anyone tries to call me that's not my wife who's sitting next to me.
I say, why would you be trying to call me?
And then other than that, I don't answer my phone, most especially if it's a work person.
That's fair.
I've worked. OK, it's been long enough that I haven't worked for this person.
Yeah. So what I would do like I used to like deliver dumpsters.
So what I would do is like they give me a log of things to do through a day and I would go.
I would just get the list done.
And every once in a while, they would call me and be like, hey, we need you to do this last minute job today.
And I'd be like, OK.
There was a time when I was headed home.
There's actually a few times where this happened.
I was headed home and I got a call and they said, hey, we need you to get this job done.
And I'm like, sorry, I already parked the truck for the day.
And they're just like, really? Like, I'm like, yeah, sorry.
Like otherwise I would go. And I had just gotten on the freeway.
Like I was probably going to pass the exit that the job was on.
And I'm like, sorry, like, I got to do what I got to do.
Like, I'm already almost home or just park the truck.
We're here now. Where did you park?
Or they would call and say, hey, we have this job.
And I'm like, yeah, like I can definitely get that to that one first thing tomorrow.
Like knowing full well that they wanted me to do it that day.
Can't hit that one tonight.
Like, no.
They wouldn't ask because I'd usually be like, or they'd just say, hey, we got this job.
And I'm like, all right, I'm on it.
And like, like that's usually how the conversation would go.
And then like that day I was just feeling super lazy and they're like, hey, we got this job.
I'm like, great. I'll get to it first thing tomorrow.
And then I. OK.
Damn it, Caleb. But sure.
Anyway, getting back into it.
Or if you want to join us, you can also DM us on social media.
You can also wear on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
Just search at the Albrows or email us at the Albrows channel, Gmail dot com.
Check out our new and updated website, tiny URL dot com forward slash the Albrows.
I did work really hard to update that.
So hopefully it's a little bit more user friendly and you can.
I have a way for you guys to order.
Merch that got taken down on T public because T public freaking sucks ass.
But you see, I'm not taking down a couple of days ago to are you shitting me another one?
Yeah, Captain Marvel. Son of a bitch.
I mean, listen, it's all right, Captain Marvel.
It was the lesser of all the Marvel movies.
No, I worked hard on that artwork.
I worked hard on all of it.
No, I didn't start.
I was like my coworker because I because I wanted his opinion.
So I'm just like, do you think that they had any right to do that?
And he's just like, no, they don't own a freaking star in red and blue.
He's not wrong.
I'm trying to find this.
This is definitely after the show talk, but I'm going to tell you anyway,
some lady kept emailing me from T public and calling me Mark.
Mark, I want to work with you.
And finally, her name was like Andrea or something like that.
And I was like, dear Andrew, I have no idea who this Mark person is or why you want to work with him
and I just said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
And then I got an email back like, oh, hey, DJ and Beth, we're so sorry.
My team did it.
And I just never answered them back again.
But if I can find that email, I'm going to get in touch with that lady and be like, what's up with all the taken down?
What's up with this?
You guys just cave, you cave to giant conglomerations at the drop of a hat.
Or are you going to let the little man make a T-shirt for once and make an honest buck?
I'll say to Andrew or whatever her name is.
Yeah.
But luckily with our new system, you should be or every anyone who wants to should be able to go on,
tell us what artwork they want, what kind of design that they want, like all of that info.
We'll make up the design and basically you just Venmo us whatever it costs to send it to you,
which is about like 13 bucks if you want a shirt.
Actually, it's like 10 depending on how much art you want.
It's a pretty decent deal.
But I still have the link to the T-Public shop, which who knows?
By the time this comes out, we might not have much of a store left.
Seriously though.
Yeah.
But next week, you guys can look forward to us breaking down the Netflix original movie, The Willoughbys.
Dude.
That's what we were doing.
Listen, I can't speak for Beth.
I cannot make plans for her.
But I'm for sure I know for a fact that she would at least be interested in talking about this movie with you.
Dude, yes.
Who?
Hell yes.
Like we have seen that movie probably three times.
It is so good.
Good movie.
Spoiler alert for next episode.
Having seen it.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, such a secret gem.
I loved it.
Wait, did you say you have not seen it, Rose?
Yeah, I haven't.
I didn't even know it was a thing.
Listen, spoiler alert for you.
Keep your eye out for the tardigrade in that movie.
Anyway.
The what?
The tardigrade?
The water bear?
Tardig.
Yeah, the tardigrade.
You'll see it.
They only show it for a second, but you'll see it.
Okay.
All right.
But until then, this has been the All Bros podcast with special guest DJ from the untrained eye.
Hey.
And we'll catch you guys next week.
This is so long.
DJ did it better earlier, so I can't really.
Dude.
So you can't talk some more effort into it.
Are you really not doing it?
Oh, no.
So I thought, oh, I didn't know you guys are waiting for me.
I'm sorry.
Okay.
So long.
There we go.
Hey.
Perfect.
Guys, we've been recording for 209 minutes.
She's Louise.
I'm stopping the recording now.